#there has been 1 anon in the last couple ask games i've done and i wonder if you are the same person every time

[ilovedthestars]

For the Asks: 🦋🧩🌻

Please and Thank you!

Hello very polite anonymous friend!! Thank you for the asks!

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

I have been feeling really insecure about my art for....a while now. Months, at least. I think the transition to art school was a big part of that. You know that thing where people who were used to being the smartest/most academically successful student in their class/school go to college and are suddenly surrounded by people who were all the smartest kid at their school, and have a crisis about not being exceptional anymore? Turns out that same thing can happen with artists. It's hard not to compare yourself. And I've been feeling like it's been so long since I got to make the kind of art i want to be making, and made it well.

Fortunately, this semester I've gotten some assignments that give me a little more freedom, and also some opportunities to do some illustration work, and I'm working on several things I'm really excited about right now! I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm dragging myself out of the self-pity hole. (unfortunately all of these projects are on tight deadlines and I'm also fighting off burnout with a shovel rn)

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Hmmmm...most stuff I don't like I manage to filter out based on tags and summaries. I think a fic that's trying to be funny, but doing it in a way that feels out of character or just isn't my brand of humor, is a pretty immediate nope for me. Likewise if it dips into intense social awkwardness. I have a painfully strong sense of secondhand embarrassment and I'm not putting myself through that XD

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@ineedlelittlespace and @cephaliarch , i think I met both of you through exchanging long gushy comments on each others' fics!! I've talked in DMs with both of you a little bit, but it's been a while. I still think of both of you fondly! feel free to say hi anytime :)

[curio-queries]

I’m loving your production breakdown posts, they are so interesting and insightful.

I think you mentioned it maybe in the first ep breakdown but it was about expenses. I just thought it was interesting in ep4 when JK mentioned at the chicken place, paying in cash, and he solely has this conversation with Tae, not Jimin. Would there be an arrangement do you think? Or was that scene cut and he’d have asked Jimin too? I’ve noticed in comparison to Bv where they were usually only allowed a certain amount of money between them, with one usually being in control, or a sum for a task, in AYS, Jimin and JK have been whipping out their cards, be it their own or a company card, in Big Dicks store, in Walmart etc.

I just found it interesting

Hi anon,

The finance bits are interesting in the most boring corporate sense if that makes any sense. 😅 Trust me on this. Let's dive in:

In my opinion, it really boils down to two concerns: taxes and sponsorships. Taxes to insure the company receives every possible benefit for every dollar they spend. Sponsorships because some brands can have fussy rules about how individuals interact with their product and especially any competitor's products while they have an active agreement.

Obviously I have no actual insight onto how the finances and budget were managed for any of these specific shows and I know absolutely nothing of the intricacies of taxes in South Korea but in the US, there are many regulations when it comes to how companies can claim expenditures for tax breaks.

Every company that has had me travel for work has gone to a lot of trouble to insure that I was aware of exactly all of the requirements on my part regarding expenditures. I'm 100% sure all of the BTS members are aware of their requirements as well so I don't particularly think there's any motive other than as a cute convo for the moment between JK and V. Imo, the only reason it made it to the final cut was JKs endearing tone in his response.

Let's go through some examples though:

Receipts: in both AYS and Bon Voyage, we see the members be very specific in getting Receipts. JM and JK talk about it as they're leaving Walmart. In BV, it's all of the shenanigans with the money pouch they acquired in Malta and continued using in New Zealand. This is usually documentation required for any operation that's going to be claimed as a business expense for tax purposes.

Personal Spending: off the top of my head I can think of several clear instances where we know that the members are using their own money for purchases we see them make on the shows. In Run BTS ep.70 in Toronto, JK pays for the member's clothing purchases himself. In BV4, JM pays for the member's clothing himself a couple of times (remember the drama of his lost wallet? 😅)

Budget as Content: BV 1 & 2 mostly only include finances as part of the game-ification of the show. The members had to earn money as an allowance for the activities and determine the best ways to spend it. (I do vaguely remember some members wanting to negotiate for more when buying souvenirs? Was that just in the extra scenes? It's been so long, I've been holding off on rewatching until I'm done with my Run series).

Thankfully, the success of BTS has basically nixed the budget games. I think the last time we saw something like this were the Run episodes of a hotel staycation? But the prices were ficticious and not necessarily about real-world spending but rather determining the secret number to not exceed. (If I'm misremembering and there are more recent examples, please share!) Imo, it would just be too tone-deaf to continue portraying the members in that context. I know we all joke about them being broke millionaires, but there's a reason why celebrity game shows always make it clear that the money involved is for charity.

Anyway, back to AYS, the interesting bit to me is wondering about the inclusion of Taehyung from a budget standpoint. How was that reconciled? None of us can possibly know the answer, but it's interesting to think about. Some costs wouldn't have changed at all with one extra participant, like the house rental, or booking the climbing gym or yacht tour. But there were a few extra concessions, getting the extra mattress likely was more a logistics headache on short notice rather than an impact to the budget. And most Korean meals are served family-style so there honestly isn't a huge difference cost-wise. Except maybe the omakase. That I can imagine was noticeably more expensive with an added individual.

But really, the most expensive item per person would likely have been travel. Did someone say Tae was already in Jeju prior to filming? If he wasn't, did the show cover his flights like they would have JK, JM, and the crew? Or is the budget on these shows big enough that it was just another drop in a bucket? Also, the intent likely was for JK to zip around on the motorbike and JM to be on the scooter. I'm curious if they weren't logistically able to get another such vehicle with the short notice or if the budget/sponsorship constraint didn't allow for a third one the day. Or it could be that the scooter exists because of the 3 member count and production thought one of them could be JKs backpack. That bike has the space for it. But perhaps the difficulty to get coverage and/or converse wasn't appealing. Or maybe there just wasn't a third radio-enabled helmet prepared?

I know the various shippers are using this in their arguments. I'd like to firmly state that I am not building a case for either side here. Go do that on your own and leave me out of it. Lol.

There are so many questions and it's interesting to theorize how the finances could have impacted the development of the show. Maybe we'll get some more insight with the remaining episodes and bonus footage but I doubt it. Finances don't usually make for engaging content.

Thanks again for the ask! It's one of the points I want to discuss when I start doing my BV and ITS posts but who knows when that will be!

[itsclydebitches]

My dear the community needs you too!

https://www.tumblr.com/arctophyllax/735707485263085568/actually-theres-a-way-to-ask-larian-to-give-us

I followed the steps it is done!!~~~ omg omg

Yooo! Thanks for the info, anon!!!

The latest patch just made my heart so, so happy. I feel like the last couple of years have been dominated by horrifying reports coming out of gaming companies and the games themselves releasing long before they were complete, so to get BG3 that has so much passion poured into it (yes, even with the Act 3 hiccups) AND a company that's listening to the playerbase?

I've been around the fandom block and am no stranger to the "Is there actually a chance of this happening or are we just happily delusional about it?" game. Even if Larian hadn't already given us Minthara though (demonstrating that such changes are totally on the table) I think Zevlor has a good shot because it would be so easy to include him. Not necessarily from a coding perspective (idk anything about the actual construction of games), but rather from a narrative perspective. He essentially disappears from the story between rescuing him in Act 2 and reappearing in the final battle, meaning there's nothing on his end that needs reworking if we were to stick him in camp instead. Plus, we already have so many characters who act as temporary, non-combat members: Barcus, Volo, Halsin prior to lifting the curse, etc. I mean, it would be amazing to have Zevlor as a combat companion and/or romance-able, but even if we don't get that I'd LOVE to have him bopping around with some extra dialogue.

God, think of the possibilities though. A new questline where you can help Zevlor regain his oath, or maybe help him prove himself to the tieflings again. A late game romance option for players who didn't get one ironed out by the end of Act 1. Unique interactions depending on if you've saved certain objects (you can give him back his sword like you give Shadowheart the flower/idol). Similar to Nere being trapped, a semi-timed chance to rescue him from Orin before he shows up dead in your camp, complete with threatening letters about the "pet" she's having so much fun with. Obviously some options are taller orders than others, but if Larian is willing to adapt the game's story rather than just fixing performance issues - which it very much seems they are with Minthara and that epilogue - this is a PERFECT opportunity.

[infinityhype]

Hey Mads! If you're still interested in doing the character relationship ask game you reblogged.. how about morel/knov? they are so cute in your stories (and in your header image 🥰)

Hey anon! Thanks so much for the ask!

Gonna toss my response under a read more because it got pretty long/wordy lol

Describe their canon relationship/dynamic 

In canon, Morel and Knov are shown to be at least well-acquainted, if not outright good friends. They work together/ hang out a lot during the extermination mission, engage in friendly banter/bets, and even when Knov has to drop out of the mission, Morel doesn't bear any ill intent towards him. Their last scene together in the show/manga is them getting a bottle of champagne with their bet money (because they both technically lost) and toasting Chairman Netero. 

Your ideal/headcanon version of it? How does it differ from how it is in canon and why is this your favorite version? Any other alternate versions of it you enjoy? 

Marriage. They are married and have been for at least 15 years at the start of Chimera Ant. Before that, they dated a decade and before THAT had a decade or so of unresolved romantic/sexual tension after they took the Hunter Exam together at 14/15. 

Because it. Well. Took Knov that entire time to realize he was 1. Gay and 2. Gay for Morel specifically. When Knov grew some romantic self-awareness and realized he was in love with Morel, they got together and have been together ever since. 

In canon we don't get much, if any, backstory on them at all, and no indication their relationship is anything but platonic. (Aside from the fact it's Hunter x Hunter and everyone is gay.) So my HC is different in that they have a long history together AND it's been romantic for a long time. I feel like it's not even at odds with how they interact in canon, you could argue their comfort with/towards each other is just years of knowing each other–

Ahem. I like my particular headcanon/interpretation because I like the idea of them having a deep friendship and appreciation for each other before they even get together romantically. 

I also enjoy interpretations where they meet and have immediate rapport/chemistry, and ones where they start out disliking each other for whatever reason and then end up falling in love. I just want them to be in love!!! 

What do you like about their relationship? Why is it enjoyable or interesting to you? 

I don't know if I've waxed poetic about it before but I love hardened middle aged men in love. They have a ton of respect and trust (regardless of if you see their relationship as platonic or romantic) and while they're different in a lot of ways, they're also a power couple who support each other no matter what. They would and have done anything for each other, including murder. They adopted weird kids together and raised them to enter the crazy world of Hunters. They're both restless adventurers but right at home with one another in a way they never were with other people. 

Also I love a light/dark thin/muscular tall/even taller visual dynamic because I'm shallow. In addition to all the deep emotional stuff they just look good together!!!

What about the individual characters involved? What does the relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships? 

Tl;Dr version: They saw one another as important and worth making time for even before they got together. They wrote to each other like. Weekly. They're gay your honor. 

Knov- Morel’s friendship didn’t come loaded with expectations or obligations like every relationship from Knov’s previous life. His friendship and eventual relationship with Morel helped him realize not everyone’s out to get him, and there are people in the world worth trusting and loving without reservation. Morel sees Knov for who he is and disarms him like no one else can. Knov knows he can always count on Morel, and Morel can do the same for him. Morel is his Person. 

Also, he just thinks his husband is so. So hot. Knov keeps a cool, ice queen exterior but inside he’s still blown away he managed to end up with someone so suited to his tastes. 

Morel- Morel…well. He planned on teaming up with Knov for the Hunter Exam because they were the youngest examinees that year and ended up with…complicated feelings by the end of it. He would’ve been fine with just remaining friends if that’s what Knov wanted, and he even dated quite a few other people, but no one clicked with him like Knov did. 

He’s the more romantic of the two, and despite his intimidating exterior he just loves love. He likes the fact Knov’s not afraid to call him out or challenge him. He and Knov don't need each other. They'd be just fine on their own. But they want each other, and want to be together. 

Also, Morel is not one to let people tell him what to do, but he'll let Knov in certain uh…circumstances. 

Favorite interaction they have in canon 

This probably reveals what a terrible person I am lol but. When they meet Killua outside NGL and it basically goes: 

Morel: -says something mean- 

Knov: Wow that was mean don't be so harsh -says something that's just as rude, if not worse- 

Morel: lol how was that any better than what I said 

I knew right then they were the middle aged gays of my dreams 

Favorite interaction they have in your head/situation you want to put them in 

When they finally resolve their romantic tension and sleep together for the first time 

And this bit happens: 

"What are you thinking about?" 

Knov was quiet for a moment. He reached over and pushed a bit of hair out of Morel's face. He moved closer, laid his head on Morel’s pillow, and leaned in as if sharing a secret. 

"How much this feels like love." 

"Because it is, darling."

[0ffgun]

(1) Hi ollie! I don't know if this is too much of a personal thing to ask but I've seen you talk about your bf a lot on here and it seems our situation is similar. I met my partner online just before lockdown happened and we haven't met yet but we're planning on meeting up soon and I'm really excited but also really scared because I don't know what to expect and I'm scared I'll be a disappointment. I was just kinda wondering if you could share your story of when you met your boy irl?

(2) Sorry if it's a really weird thing to ask for I just want to get an idea of the experience and you seem really happy so obviously everything worked out well so it'd be nice to get a positive point of view rather than looking at all the negative stories about meeting people online. Anyway if you're uncomfortable feel free to ignore this! Thanks

Hi there anon!! Don’t worry this isn’t uncomfortable for me at all - I’m happy to talk about it! (please excuse how gay this is going to get though, once I start talking about him I really struggle to stop dsgjkls) I’ll put this under a read more because it’s probably gonna get really long because I haven’t learned to shut up ever.

Alright so first of all (and this is the most important thing EVER) make sure you’re safe. No doubt you trust your person a lot if you’re planning on meeting up with them but even so, make sure the first time you meet is in a public place and that there is always the option of leaving if there are any weird vibes. PLEASE be safe. 

And okay so before me and Ryan met up in person we’d talk on the phone for around 4 hours every night (we still do it now, we can’t sleep if we don’t talk to each other for a couple of hours first, even if it’s literally just him listening to me playing video games and making weird noises every time I die dfjgkdfl) so we were already really familiar with each other. If you haven’t done it already, I definitely recommend talking to your partner over the phone too, it gives you a MUCH better idea of their personality rather than just typing to each other all the time, and it really brings you closer too! 

Our plans to meet up just kinda poppped up out of nowhere? Like we’d vaguely talked about it and then one day poof! we were suddenly desperate to meet up. Ryan lives with his parents and luckily they were totally on-board with the idea, I’d only been thinking of going over just for the one day but then his mum was like “why doesn’t he just come on the monday and go home on the friday?” and me and Sunshine LOST it jdskgjklds we were like FIVE DAYS IS SO MUCH??? And then once we had a date in mind we were just counting down and our phone calls got more and more frantic. We’d be up until 4am just talking about what it’s going to be like and getting more and more nervous. I had this really strong fear that we’d meet up and he’d realise he doesn’t like me as much as he thought he did? So you saying you’re scared of being a disappointment REALLY hits home, I feel that so much. 

I remember the night before we met up we were literally just laying in the dark on the phone making these weird panicked squeaky noises at each other. And then it was finally THE DAY. He lives 2 hours away from me by train and honestly I was fine for the whole journey until I got onto the last train and realised it would only be 15 minutes before I see him for real and I basically lost my mind lmao.

 It’s funny, really? I’d already seen pictures of him and talked to him literally every day but then the moment I saw him at the station I really wasn’t prepared for how truly gorgeous he is? I knew I liked him but then the moment we smiled at each other and said hi and just started giggling like IDIOTS I realised how intense my feelings for him really are and I became a whole wreck. 

I wouldn’t say it was awkward at first more like it was just.. clumsy? We already knew each other on such an intimate level and yet we didn’t know how to interact in person. The first hour or so was us kind of internally flailing around and me saying “oh my god” randomly every 2 minutes and him laughing at me because of it jksgjlds. We had a bit of a walk from the train station back to his place (which was where I’d be meeting his parents too so of course I was a mess over THAT as well) and we were just walking side by side casually and in my head the whole time I was like??? HOW?? DO I HOLD HIS HAND?? Do I just grab it? Do I ask if I can?? And my brain straight-up malfunctioned and I just yelled “OKAY!” and THREW my hand out in front of him and he did the cutest laugh and then interlaced our fingers and oh god I’m never going to forget that moment e v e r. 

Meeting his parents went so well I LOVE them (me and his mum are besties now I adore her) and idk things just went SO smoothly it was more than I could have ever asked for. And then his mum was like “okay go and put Oli’s stuff away etc etc” so that we could have some alone time (she’s smooth and I appreciate that) and then we ended up just watching a bunch of kpop videos while sitting together on the floor and I’d play with his hair (he has the best softest most top quality hair) and it was just so s o f t. Our first kiss was gorgeous too like it just happened spontaneously and then we both just had a whole gay panic and just sat there giggling with our foreheads pressed together for a good five minutes oh god. Honestly, I’ve been in relationships before but everything with Sunshine is like a whole new experience and it feels like I’m doing everything for the first time. I’m like a lovestruck teenager and it’s the best, and I can’t see that changing either, I think I’m always going to be this ridiculous. Literally every time he looks at me my heart does backflips and I get butterflies. I’ve found my forever boy through a random anonymous message on the internet and isn’t that just amazing?

Oh my god I wrote more than I thought I would I’m so s o r r y I really can’t shut up about him it’s ridiculous dsjgkjsd but yeah anon seriously I really hope things go well when you finally get to meet your person - please let me know how it goes!!! Don’t just focus on the things that make you nervous, make sure you also focus on the things that make you excited too! I know that people get squinty when you say you met someone online but honestly when you know, you know and at the end of the day it’s your decision. Just always do make sure that you’re safe and never do anything you don’t want to do.

[toast-the-unknowing]

Hi there, toast. Cutting to the chase: you're one of my favorite writers — not just one of my favorite fanfic writers. your short stories for the raven cycle are some of the funniest, tightest, emotionally devastating, well-crafted works of fiction i've encountered in awhile — better than a lot """"real-world, published"""" stuff. I kind of want to know more about how you got to this point. I think you've mentioned a background in screenwriting? But I don't think that's your day job? 1/?

2/? Really, I'm asking because you seem to have found a way to write regularly — to develop your chops and publish your art in a way that seems emotionally satisfying for you. to an outsider like myself, you seem to have struck a balance between living a life that pays the bills, and artmaking in a way that feeds your soul. you might not feel that way, i don't know. i'm someone who studied writing in college and am now wondering if and how i can still water that seed....

3/? when the reality is i also need to make money to live. i guess i'm curious about your life model right now, and if you're happy with the way you're currently fulfilling yourself creatively. do you want to be a """""published writer""""" someday? is your job one that is also creatively fulfilling, or is it more to pay the bills so that you can do your own creative projects in your free time?

4/4 I know my question isn't very clear, and I'm not sure it's even one question. the point is, i admire you, and you seem to be in a habit of writing creatively, even though i think you have an unrelated day job, and that balance seems mysterious and desirable to me.

Thank you for your kind words, Anon! I have attempted to write something helpful, but it got very long, so I am putting it behind a cut:

Keeping your art alive when you have to work an unrelated job is not easy. Struggling with it does not mean that you're failing, or that it can't be done, or that you won't get better at it down the road. It's also not the sort of thing where you hit equilibrium and it's all smooth sailing from there. I have gotten better at fitting my writing into my life, and I've figured out strategies and coping mechanisms and how to be better at just making myself do it even if I feel "blocked," but there are still stretches of time where it's harder to manage. Those periods don't last forever, and if it sometimes gets worse, it also sometimes gets better.

I suspect you know all of this, Anon, because you sound like a reasonable person and because you balanced writing and schoolwork, which can itself be tricky. I say it anyway because this is exactly the kind of subject where mean little thoughts like to sneak into your head and make you doubt yourself, and I think we could all use a reminder.

There are many writers who will say that you have to write every single day. Often they will say that you have to write at the same time every single day, or that you need to wake up early to write before work. These writers depress and demotivate me, because I don't actually have a writing "habit" in that there's no schedule or daily goal or set of standards involved. Some days I write a lot and some days I don't write at all. Shaming myself about that fact has never been helpful.

What has been helpful: an increased understanding of my writing process. Realizing I don't have to outline? Helpful! Realizing that generating ideas and fleshing out scenes and shaping the arc of a story and making it pretty are all different skills and some days one comes easier than the others? Helpful! Realizing that I tend to have an "a-hah" moment that tells me what the story is about, after which it's easier to write the story? Helpful! Realizing that if I can't think of an adjective or a line of dialogue or a joke, I can just put an asterisk and come back to it later, instead of halting the entire writing process until I come up with it? Helpful!

I don't know if any of these particular things would be helpful to you, because your writing process probably works differently than mine. Somebody out there absolutely does need to outline before they can write, or so I assume from the fact that it is mandated in virtually every book on writing I have ever read. You studied writing in school, so it's possible that you already have a great understanding of your process; it's also possible you have internalized a lot of other people's ideas of what you're writing should look like. Most of what I know about how I write was learned in the last few years, not in school.

It is also possible that you have a good understanding of what your process looks like when that gets to be the thing that takes up the majority of your time. In which case, you probably need to consider your life and your schedule as it is now. I know, for example, that I don't get much writing done of weekend days where I stay in bed late, even though I still end up with more free time than I'd have on a weekday, so if I want to write on a weekend I need to get up. Are there any times of day, or the days of the week, or the places where it is easier to write? What factors make it harder to write? Can you minimize those factors? When you can't, because you livelihood depends on them, can you acknowledge them as a fact of life and forgive yourself for being affected by them?

It's unpleasant but undeniable that working impacts writing. We aren't able to spend the time we'd like to on writing. We don't have the energy and focus that we had in school, when our writing was our main responsibility. Now our primary responsibility is making enough money to survive, and if that makes us sad to think about, well, it's only going to make us sadder if on top of that we try to hold ourselves to the amount of writing we'd do if that weren't true.

It isn’t strictly a numbers game where more time = more writing, which I think can be reassuring for those of us who don’t get as much time as we’d like for writing. I was unemployed or working part-time for the entirety of 2016 and I did not do more writing in 2016 than I am now. I had more time, but I was much more of a mess, as a person, and I wasn't as dedicated to writing. In a counter-intuitive way, I think it can help to have creative outlets besides writing. It does take time away from something that you already don’t get as much time as you want to do, but it means that you have a place to be creative even when the words aren't coming, a place with less pressure and lower stakes. I've done improv pretty casually for the last couple of years, and aside from the fact that I think improv in particular can be extremely helpful for writers, it means that when I've been unhappy with my writing, I could show up to improv and do a silly voice or shuffle around in a crabwalk and know that I had created something.

These are some things that have helped me write while also working: Improv. Mindfulness about writing. Mindfulness about life in general. Prioritizing my writing (guys, I watch so much less television than I used to). Therapy and medication, to be honest. Remembering why I am excited about the projects that I’m working on. Giving myself freedom to start new stories while also encouraging myself to finish old ones. Having an audience to share things with, because it is hard to write without knowing that anyone will ever read what you are pouring so much of yourself into.

It has taken me a few days to answer this, Anon, because I wanted to give a considered response, and also just because adult life! so busy! I keep coming back to the questions of whether I am emotionally satisfied with the writing I am doing, and whether I have a good balance between my writing and my work. Because I really think that I am creatively satisfied right now, and if I am mostly aware of that most of the time, I don't know that I'd really phrased it like that to myself before. If I had then I had forgotten it. And it's a powerful and wonderful thing to be able to say that to myself.

I have a degree in screenwriting, but I have never made a career of it and am not pursuing one now. The dream used to be writing for television. Before that the dream was to be a traditionally published author. Now...I don't know what the dream is. I would like to do original work again some day. I have a novel in my head that is very important to me, whose characters helped me get through some hard times, and I want to give that novel the life that it deserves. I would like to do something with my screenwriting degree at some point, although it will likely never make me money. Sometimes it feels like failure that I don't have a new dream, and that I gave up on the old ones. But for the most part, for now, I'm very happy writing fanfiction. I've written a lot of stories, particularly in the last few years, that I am very proud of.

But I don't actually have a good balance between art and work, inasmuch as my art makes me happy and my work...doesn't. I have a low-level office job in a field that I'm not passionate about or well-suited for. I don't get out of my job a lot of the things that I do get out of writing -- challenge, investment, a chance to be creative, self-direction, fulfillment, purpose. I have never worked a job where I got any of those things, and it is starting to wear me down.

To be fair: "my job pays me a decent wage and gives me great health insurance but it isn't satisfying" is a privileged thing to complain about, and I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that some people handle these situations just fine, that some people don’t mind a job that demands a minimum of energy and time since that leaves them more to put into their art. You may be one of these people! I am discovering that I am not. Getting no sense of accomplishment from my job contributes negatively to my overall mental and emotional health, which is sucky all on its own, but has the additional effect of impacting my writing.

It's a tricky problem, though. I don't, at present, want to make a living off of writing (and such a career would be precarious), but my current resume and skill set doesn't qualify me for much of anything besides the work I'm already doing (thanks, screenwriting degree). Any attempt to find a job that's more fulfilling would likely involve a big investment of time, money, and/or effort in some kind of school and training, and then...I'd be in a job that demanded more from me, and even if it made me happier than my current job does, how much would that leave me to put into my writing?

I don't know if any of this has been helpful to you. It is perhaps not a clear answer to a question that felt clear when I read it but that my mind muddled up along the way. You may find that once you hit a balance between writing and working, you don't mind the day job grind in the same way I do. You may decide that you do want to pursue writing as a career. You may still be figuring out the employment situation at all and my woes may be worse than irrelevant.

But the timing of this ask is funny; I am soon going to apply to an educational program that would prepare me for a new career in a totally different field, and the thought of how this will impact my writing has very much been on my mind. In the past when I've thought about doing anything like this, that question has kept me from going forward: won't that be less of your time, less of your energy, less of you for your writing? I think this is a real concern with a basis in truth: if I get into this program I am going to have a lot less time and energy for anything outside of it, and I will need to again adjust my expectations of what my writing can look like in my circumstances. But I think that this question is also fear and perfectionism talking, using my writing as a weapon against me, and I'm tired of it.

Balance is a funny thing. I'm actually terrible at basically anything that requires balance: biking, rollerskating, gymnastics, ice skating, you name it. I don't see how anyone pulls it off. You can lean too far one way only to fall over the other way when you try to even out. You can take a turn and suddenly the road is uphill or downhill or bumpy, and whatever you were doing before to stay upright isn't cutting it. You can be going along just fine and then, for absolutely no reason, you're wobbling all over the place. But you can also do a hell of a lot of wobbling without ever falling down.

I think it's just about...paying attention to what's happening around you. Paying attention to what you're feeling and what you want. Not getting fooled by something you're supposed to want if you don't actually want it. Figuring out the things that you need, and the things that would make your life better, and the things that you'd like, and prioritize those accordingly.

I sure hope that's how it works, at least, because that's all I've got. I might royally fuck up my life in the next couple of months, but if I do, I'll adjust and keep going. It can't be any worse than fucking ice skating.

Best of luck, Anon.

[who-gives-a-ship]

(1/?)I've actualy had a friend pull the 'you're an adult shouting at a minor' card on me. We were having a fight and it basically boiled down to, while we were at an oversea's con she did not like the fact that I was acting like an adult/guardian towards her, rather than a 'friend' (I was the only adult out of 4 people and we were in ANOTHER COUNTRY) Basically she was being shitty and entitled and did a number of stupid and irrisponsible things, then coldn't understand why I was upset.

(2/?) half way through the argument, I was getting frustrated because she would not listen, would not admit she had done some shitty things and then she derailed the whole thing with "Well I'm not the adult shouting at a minor" SHE was the one who kept starting these 'conversations' who wanted to 'talk it out' when I wanted to let it go and just pretend it never happened. I then proceeded to burn that friendship to the ground (not a very mature move, but at least I'm aware of that)            

(3/?) But the 'I'm a minor card' is one I fucking despise now. Because they use it when they stick their noses where it doesn't belong, get in too deep and don't like the situation they've gotten themselves into. They like to think "I'm mature for my age, I can handle adult sitauations and arguments" but the moment they're held to adult standards they want out. You can't have it both ways. If you're mature enough to have these arguments, then youre fucking old enough to deal with the consequence             

------------

That argument is one of the most ridiculous things I see in discourse. To me, talking about how young you are as an excuse means you’re admitting that you don’t have the knowledge or experience to participate in this conversation. When I see that someone is a minor, I don’t immediately think “Oh, so there’s an expert on sensitive topics.” I think “Man, I was pretty dumb at that age. I’m still pretty dumb, but I’ve learned a lot since then.”

I know some very nice and smart people who are still minors, but they’re definitely above average, so whenever I see someone under 18 on Tumblr, (Or like around the last couple years of high school. I’m only 19 myself.) I read any discourse posts they make with that in mind. Sometimes I’m surprised by how mature and reasonable they are, sometimes I’m not. But even if you’re a child prodigy, you can’t make that argument and expect to come out on top. It’s a concession. And that’s why it’s so hard to counter. Because they admit defeat and then treat it like a victory, and that doesn’t make any sense.

Your former friend seems immature. I don’t know her, so I can’t say anything about whether it was just a childish moment or an actual problem she needs to solve, but it was probably good getting rid of that friendship. She was just abusing a loophole in social interaction that you couldn’t do anything about, and that sounds like a nightmare to deal with.

It’s part of the whole idea of anti immunity, which is a term I just made up to describe how antis have set up this discussion to be intentionally one-sided. Basically, anti immunity is the fact that antis are allowed to call people names and accuse them of supporting actual crimes, but their targets can only respond with calm arguments. Antis can call us filthy pedos and threaten our lives, but if I posted like that my real name and address would be all over Tumblr within a week. I’m going to make a long post about all this, because I’ve been meaning to address it for a while now, but the trump card in this game is “I’m a minor.” And that’s shitty.

Btw, the second ask you sent in wasn’t on anon. I won’t reveal your name because I like sleeping at night, but you should be more careful next time. I don’t want you getting into any trouble.

Fun fact: The Labrador Retriever has been the most popular dog breed in the US for 26 years in a row, according to the American Kennel Club. This is because they work great both as family pets and as working dogs. 70% of all guide dogs are Labrador Retrievers and they make excellent water dogs, since the breed was originally meant to help fishermen.

[itsclydebitches]

:)))) So I've started playing the witcher again AND AHA i Have more complaints, doing some main quests cause there's nothing else rly to do now, and yen has just comfirmed that she also has amnesia for a short time, ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? This whole time, including literally the line before she said that, she's been belittling and mocking and just acting like she didn't believe Geralt about his amnesia/ THAT HIS ACTIONS WERE DUE TO HIS AMNESIA???? so.,,, she's rly just such a bitch lfmao I can't with this woman, She is a grown ass adult and she's being petty and cruel over something this man can't be entirely blamed for. Also asked why she didn't come look for geralt, as she only had her memory loss for a short time due to the mages helping her, she just assumed that geralt would look for her... she just assumed he was fine and- I can't stand her. I AM GONNA SPEED PAST HER SHIT AND GO FUCK AROUND SOME MORE HOLY SHIT shes insufferable

YOU'RE BACK, ANON, HI :D

All of this though. My knowledge of the Witcher story was so spotty when I first played that it took me a while to really piece everything together. (Helped immensely by playing through the first two games. Imagine that lol.) So when it fully hit home that 1. Yennefer also had amnesia, 2. She had been ignorantly pursuing another witcher just like Geralt pursued another sorceress (if we ignore the fact that Triss was actively going after him), 3. She recovered her memory way faster and did nothing to find/help Geralt, 4. She only sought him out after she'd tried to find Ciri herself and failed, AKA I'll look for you now that I need you for something, and finally 5. All of this came about because the Wild Hunt kidnapped Yennefer and Geralt TRADED HIMSELF FOR HER... I'm just, like, livid on his behalf lol. I mean damn, Geralt has his own list of flaws and you can absolutely play him as a dick, but in terms of the events we have no control over—their "real" characterization in the games—it really is a night and day difference between them. At least for me. Yeah, Yennefer is a grown-ass woman who spends the majority of the time being petty, hypocritical, or downright cruel. Does she have moments of compassion, wit, humor, etc.? Of course! Are they enough to outweigh everything else and make me like her though? Still nope...

I'm deep into my second playthrough and I'm like you, anon: I've been avoiding her parts as much as possible lol. I actually just went to Skellige because I need Yen for a secondary quest and I became frustrated by how heavy-handed their supposed chemistry is. You don't get a choice about whether Geralt greets her with a "You look beautiful" during a funeral, it just happens. The majority of the options from then on are some version of innuendo and when you pick the neutral route (that's thankfully there) Yen still turns it into a 'Remember the last time we were at a ball and had sex ;)' conversation, more innuendo about reading minds with the "I don't like that" option becoming more flirting about secrets... Even back before you've even found her it's all about her unique scent, the unicorn, how everyone recognizes you from the love ballads... it doesn't feel like they have a relationship to me. It's all just sex and how hot they both are. Compare that to literally anyone else in the game—yes, including Triss—and it just highlights how unnatural it feels. I mean, it's not going to feel unnatural to a player who already adores the relationship, but if you haven't bought into it yet... the game does incredibly little to sell them liking each other outside of the booty calls. I have no desire to romance Triss either, but at least with her I get conversations about the world, her interests, and our relationship outside of the physical. Yen seems to have three modes: we're having sex now, I hate you now, or we're looking for Ciri. It really doesn't make for an engaging romance imo. Especially in a game as choice-based as Witcher, you really can't get by on just "Well, they're canonical, so..."

In other news, I'm on the Blood and Broken Bones difficulty because I have every intention of platinuming this thing. I also added a couple of mods to even out aspects of the gameplay that previously bugged me. This included an "always full exp" mod because it sucked putting off a quest for a while, going back when you were a higher level, and getting literally 2exp for the same work. Except... then I leveled too quickly and all the mobs were super easy and I didn't want to "cheat" lol. So I got rid of the exp mod, added the AMAZING random encounters mod, cranked that difficulty up, and am now constantly besieged by mobs of my level or higher whenever I try to do... anything. It's great fun. Makes the world feel far more dangerous and you can earn a little extra coin by taking on bounties. I hope to make all the grandmaster witcher gear this time, so I'm gonna need all the coin I can get...

Do you plan to get the DLCs when you're done? I'm so eager to replay Blood and Wine again!