#there is a 90% chance plans I try to make don't work

[erstwhile-elster]

it kinda sucks being right about sucky things so often

[just-a-ghost00]

Surprise reading to celebrate my new oracle deck

I was kindly gifted an oracle deck by a French reader that goes by the name of Soul shadow, whom I admire a lot. It’s a 90s anime themed oracle deck. So to celebrate this new baby, I decided to do a reading on the following theme :

a message from someone you love ❤️

No picture to pick from today, just use your intuition and pick a number between 1 and 3.

Group 1

I had to take a break to sort things through. There were so many things I wanted to tell you but it would have been difficult for me to express them in the state I was in. I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you or that I hate you because that isn’t true. I sincerely think that meeting you was the best thing that could happen to me. I met you at the perfect timing and there is nothing I would change about that. With you I really feel like I can tackle the world and overcome anything. I need time to understand what this means to me, to figure out how I can better fit you into my life, to solve my own issues and find my footing. I know that asking you to be patient is a bit unfair. But I really need the space right now. I can only hope that you understand this decision and that all ends well in the end. I know this is going to be difficult but I have hope that we can overcome this together. Will you wait for me?

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 2

I really thought that I had it all figured out. But that was until you came into my life. At first, I will be honest, I didn’t like your energy. I thought you were too carefree. But the more I got to know you the more I understood the importance of going with the flow with you. Know that I am open to whatever may happen, now that I stopped overthinking, I can really appreciate the journey and I really feel hyped up. Though I don’t need it, I really like to be reassured by you. Every time that you encourage me or celebrate me, it’s just one more sign for me that I’m doing the right thing and I’m grateful for that. There’s a lot that I wish to say and I plan on taking the time to express them when I get the chance. I have now found a new goal, a new purpose in life and I intend on showing everyone, including you, what I am made of. I know that I can be better and do better. And though a part of me is scared, I know deep down it’s worth fighting for. It’s time for me to put some order into my life and work toward my desired reality. Thank you for showing me the way to my destiny. You really are amazing!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 3

I hate that I love you because I can’t have you. You were the one thing that I could not control and I believe you will be the death of me. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, that I just should keep living and enjoying life. I try to forget you but I can’t. I tell myself that I don’t care. That I don’t like you. That all I need is my family who always supported me but honestly that’s just bullshit. You are family as well. You have always supported me and the least I can do is be there for you too. I’m haunted by my memories of you. I want to talk to you so bad and a part of me is that close to giving in to temptation. But another just isn’t ready to face it. Those memories are too painful. Behind my cold exterior lies a ton of repressed feelings that I can’t seem to control. Whenever I’m with the people I love I can’t help but to think of you and wish you were there. Whenever I’m having fun and celebrating life, I can’t help but to think of you who always stood for me and cheered for me and feel grateful because this victory is also yours. In these moments, when I am the happiest, the first thing I want to do is come rushing to you to share that happiness with you. Ah you make me go crazy. I just want to leave it all behind and come back to you asap. Fuck it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for planning to move out of my fiancee's place?

This one might be long so... sorry. Tried to sum it up the best I can. Hi, it's the anon moving in with the vegans. So my fiancee (20) and I (21) moved in with a pair of vegans, one of which has since moved out so now we only live with Sam (26).

Sam is polyamorous, and I thought I was too (although I now think I might be just aroace), and since moving in my partner has discovered that, unlike they previously thought when I was interested in someone a couple years prior, that they are also polyamorous, and have started dating Sam. I was totally okay with this, because I'm very poly-positive and wanted my fiancee to have a chance to discover themself and experience new things.

However, since moving in, they spend 90% of nights sleeping with Sam in their bed, and the other 10% in mine. I've been feeling really lonely about that, and expressed that, and they've responded that they've just been having a really hard time lately with their mental health, and that it's not personal. I'm trying to be supportive and understanding and patient, but I feel very isolated in this house.

Everyone in the house has chronic pain, although my fiance and I have more flare-ups than Sam does. But while there's a lot of leniency when they don't do chores, I'm still supposed to get all of my work done AND theirs, without my pain levels taken into account. This has led to me losing hours of sleep due to being expected to finish chores after getting home at 1am from my shift.

There's also the money problem: I am currently working two jobs to pay rent, and Sam makes triple what I do in salary. My fiancee only works one shift a week by choice, to pay for therapy, and thus doesn't pay rent. We are splitting rent equitably, so I'm not paying nearly as much as Sam, but still if I had the chance to cut back on hours at work to actually take care of myself (emotionally, pain-wise, actually having time to do my physio, etc) I would take it in a heartbeat. But I'm not dating Sam so I feel like there are a lot of double standards here.

I like Sam. They GM for our TTRPG home game and I have a great time. I sincerely don't want to lose those good times. But my mental health is at an all time low and I feel like a third wheel to my fiancee. I've known them for 6 years, we've known Sam for almost 1. I've started a tally of how often my fiancee sleeps in my bed vs in Sam's, and in the past 18 days, they've slept in my bed once. (I started the tally because I convinced myself I was making things up). That all said. I like Sam. But now I'm starting to have feelings of resentment due to... all of this whole situation.

This has led to me reminding my fiancee daily how much I miss them and how lonely I am, talking about moving out (they confirmed they would still live with Sam if I moved out), and being more vocal about my mental health struggles. I've started talking to my friends about it, so quite a few of them are in on the situation, and most people are advising me that I need to communicate more or that we just shouldn't get married.

I love them a lot and do still want to get married, but I also want to break up just because it's hurting to stay in this situation.

That got a lot away from me sorry, I'm probably missing some details, but I really want to know, am I the AH here? Should I be more sympathetic to my fiancee? Am I being unfair to Sam?

What are these acronyms?

[cybertron-after-dark]

More questionable tfa headcanons

-Bumblebee and Bulkhead do impressions of Optimus behind his back. Bulkhead actually feels kinda bad about it but that does not stop him. Prowl is not immune to joining in. OP still hasn't caught them.

-Optimus really wants to adopt a dog once he's positive he could adequately take care of one. He loves the idea of keeping a big grey one and naming him Silverbolt, after Silverbolt Major from the great war. It just feels right.

-Starscream will never admit to listening to the dumb sound patterns humans call music, but in private he's a swiftie, and he WILL sing shake it off if nobody's watching.

-Lugnut bakes in his off time, and he keeps trying to spoil Megatron with little treats, as his grand and glorious master deserves little gifts and tributes whenever Lugnut can give them. Sadly, Megatron doesn't actually have much of a sweet tooth so most of Lugnut's edible gifts get passed off to someone else.

-you know that bit in the Allspark almanac where Lugnut is bitching about earth sports and the Tigatron stadium? He has such strong feelings because Blitzwing loves that shit and keeps trying to rope Lugnut into playing. For Blitzwing, it reminds him of his gladiator days, it's a way to have fun and reminisce without killing someone. For Lugnut, it can't compare, it's kinda just a watered down, wussified version of real gladiatorial combat.

-upon discovering ytps, both bumblebee and bulkhead trained their voice synthesizers to be able to mimic the edited sounds. Sometimes they'll use it in the middle of a fight as a sort of secret code so the cons can't pick up on what they're planning to counter it. Optimus has mixed feelings. He doesn't understand what the hell they're saying like 90% of the time, and he recognizes this isn't proper military strategy, but he can't argue with the results. At least they're sort of taking the fights seriously?

-Blitzwing and Blackarachnia fucking hate each other but Megatron frowns upon infighting, so instead of constant violence, they've sort of settled on an escalating cold war of inconveniences and irritants. Neither of them can throw a punch, or set anything up that would result in actual injury, but immobilizing via ice or webs is fine, provided it doesn't affect tactical matters. Blitzwing constantly freezes the locks on BA's door, BA spikes Blitzwing's energon with cyber venom, pretty much anything that could qualify as day ruining. The worst was when Blitzwing covered BA with electronic paint and turned her into a walking rainbow all day.

-prowl wants to volunteer at animal shelters but he's a bit too big to fit in most of the buildings

-both shockwave and starscream are horrible liars but Megatron is terrible at picking up when someone's lying, so starscream's scheming went unnoticed for years and shockwave was sent in as a spy with full confidence that he wouldn't blow his cover.

-ratchet and optimus have been teaching Sari bits of cybertronian. Optimus teaches her the more formal aspects of the language, given there's a high chance she'll be interacting with Ultra Magnus, the guilds domesticus, and other high ranking autobots that warrant a more formal address. Ratchet (Mr "don't call me sir, I work for a living") teaches her more day to day, informal cybertronian. And swears. He teaches her pretty much all the swears.

-when Sari moved in, Optimus learned to cook so she wouldn't have to live off fast food from the burger bot. Which was hell for the big guy because why in primus's name is human fuel so complicated? He used to think sugar was pretty much an energon equivalent, cut and dry. He was wrong. He was so wrong. OP usually has Sari help him out because he cant exactly taste it to make sure it's, you know, actually edible.

-Prowl loves animals and the natural parts of earth with all his spark, but man are some parts of it brutal. When he learned what a parasitoid wasp was he couldn't sleep for days.

-bulkhead actually wants to go to a human art college once the war's over. Maybe not full time but he definitely wants to pick up some classes and learn what he can. Once he gets good enough, he wants to bring that knowledge back to Cybertron and see what other bots do with it.

-Optimus has a collection of skeezy romance novels. The equivalent on Cybertron is kind of an obscure rarity, only really sold in the seediest of places, so he couldn't really believe how easy it was to find smut like that on Earth. The intrinsic human fleshiness of the book characters always weirds him out just a bit, but not enough to ruin it for him. It's not really the pornographic aspect he's interested in, after all, it's the romantic aspect. He keeps his digital stash double encrypted in his datatrax, because he knows if anyone found it (cough cough bumblebee cough) he'd never hear the end of it.

-giving Blitzwing internet access was a mistake. Now he knows what memes are and random has been making that every other decepticon's problem since he found out. Megatron has to constantly guess whether what would normally be a standard Blitzwing non sequitur is actually a setup for Megatron to get laughed at by the entire human internet. He's fallen for updog, he's fallen for Ligma, he will NOT be caught slipping again.

-while he was undercover, once a week, shockwave would call Megatron and complain over a few barrels of oil about what kind of stupid slag his pompous idiot crankshaft coworkers would pull. One of the few autobot names Megatron could remember was Sentinel Prime, solely from the long list of transgressions Shockwave has drunkenly recounted.

-Soundwave hates most humans but he's decided that a few specific bands whose music he likes will be spared when the revolution comes, inferior as they may be.

-Prowl sends jazz earth music sometimes. It's pretty much blown Jazz's mind because most of the music on Cybertron is propaganda songs. He's not really used to songs about things other than war heroes, or even songs with no words at all. Just music for its own sake.

-Sentinel Prime's only friend is Cliffjumper and Cliffjumper only hangs out with him for brown nosing sycophantic reasons, not because he actually likes the guy.

-Ultra Magnus knows he's a corrupt bastard. He doesn't lose sleep over it, as long as his public image is good.

[pinksatinsashes]

The end of the year is the best time of year for us self improvement obsessed girlies because the planners are out, everyone's making vision boards and its finally time to write a nice long list of New Years Resolutions and achieve precisely nothing! Nothing!

Then the end of that year comes and we start the cycle again, making lists, checking them twice, achieving absolutely nothing, staying exactly the same and sometimes worse! How exciting! :)

When I was 16 I thought I'd have my life together at 18...lol! When I was 18 I figured I'd be totally together when I was 20. I'm 20 now...I think I've genuinely gotten worse.

But this year I am determined! I have said absolutely no more, absolutely no way is another year going to pass me by and I'm going to be stuck here in the exact same place. I NEED change.

Your 20's are meant to be the 'best years of your life'!

This is probably the easiest I'm ever going to have it! I have no children, no husband and I don't pay rent yet, if I don't do it now I will never do it..I don't want this to be my life forever.

Want to know how I'm going to make this year my year? Keep reading.

About two weeks ago I coined 2024 as the year of the Glow Up and started to meticulously plan out exactly what I wanted out of it.

My main goals for 2024 are:

To Hit My Goal Weight.

To Save Up Enough Money to Move to London.

To Be 75% of my Dream Girl

There are tons of other things I want to achieve of course, but If I don't achieve those three 2024 would genuinely have been a waste of time for me.

Now a couple years ago I would've just written those two goals down, put them on a vision board and went about my business...but Oh No, not this time.

I had a nice long think about the person I wanted to be at the end of 2024, financially stable, clear skin, goal weight, ready to move in spring 2025, closer to God, found her signature scent.

Each of these goals had a wider theme:

Routine

Fitness and Body

Food

Skincare and Hygiene

Beauty & Makeup

Hair

Clothes

God

Books & Brains

Music

Budget

I fired up Notion, created a home page that had a sub page for every month and then finally I created the Overall page, which has a sub page for every Goal Category and then I broke down each goal into lots of SMART goals. (Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Time-Based)

So my 'get down to my goal weight' goal became:

Fitness and Body:

[ ] Size 10 clothes or under and 140 lbs (I'm 5'9 with naturally big boobs so this is my ideal weight)

[ ] Hour Glass Figure, building up glutes and upper body

[ ] Maintain Goal Weight for at least 3 months

[ ] Able to Stair Machine for 10 minutes

[ ] Able to go on a full Run

[ ] Do at least one form of Excerise a day

[ ] At least one form of Excerise a day

[ ] Take the Dog on Daily Walks

Food:

[ ] Try 12 New Recipes

[ ] Learn How To Cook 4 Different Nigerian Recipes

[ ] Form Consistent Eating Routines

[ ] Eat out twice a month or less

[ ] Stay in a Caloric deficit until I reach my Goal Weight

See how much more specific this is?

Having my goals listed like this makes everything so much easier because I'm tackling multiple things at once. First I'm changing the majority of my goals to habits or tasks (things I can control) from outcomes (things I may not be able to control).

Now I know that if I do all of these things written out, staying in a caloric deficit and excising daily there's a 90% chance I'll reach my goal.

This is much more effective than writing an outcome with no plan on how to achieve it.

From here, I'll break the Goal Down Even Further, into monthly goals.

For example, to reach the goal weight Goal by the end of December, January may look like this:

Eat at 1500 calories a day or 10,500 calories a week (to allow for the high calorie company lunches I often attend as part of my work, I'll simply eat less on the other days

Go to the gym 4 times week,

Complete X Fitness plan

Go on one Dog walk a week

Meal Prep ever week.

Lose 10lbs

To Save enough Money to Move to London by the end of the year, January might look like this:

Prep for no Spend Months in Feb and March (stock up on skincare, budywash etc)

Meal plan every week

Sell £200 worth of clothes on Vinted to spend on Spring Wardrobe (I'm not buying any clothes unless I use the money I get from selling my current clothes)

Stick to Budget

My Goal to get Smarter and Stop Mindless Scrolling may look like this in January:

Read at least 1 book

Listen to 4 Podcast Episodes

Limit Social Media use to 1 hour a day

Write 6 Blog Posts

Watch one Documentary

Setting the tasks in this way also allows me to feel a sense of achievement, every month I'm able to tick off my goals which can increase my motivation, instead of writing down a list of things to do and forgetting about it until the end of the year. It also allows me to recognise when I'm going off track faster and adjust for the next month.

You see how this is better?

I was strategic in using notion because I knew that I could then use it not only to set out my goals, but as a home base, a setting point to house all the things I could use to achieve them.

Under each section I've also included a bunch of things to help me, the Food section for example has a list of my go to recipes, so that when I can't think of anything to eat and want to run over to the closest KFC I have something to choose from. The Hair section has a list of hairstyles I've done and the Pro's and Cons, the Skincare section has a list of the products I've tried, if I liked them and If they worked for me.

Each month has its own page with a section for each wider goal and a spot for me to have a monthly write up, detailing what works and what didn't work so I can change and approve the following month and prevent falling behind.

I'm determined to make this year my year so let me know if you'd like me to keep you updated, feel free to ask any questions or send them to my asks. Also let me know if you want my notion template, here's a little peak-

Till we speak again!

-hannah🤍

[derxwnakapsyla]

Hello there! My name is Derxwna Kapsyla, and you might know me as the mastermind behind projects such as "Yitria Resurrection", "Touhouon Asteria", "Touhou Pupet Play ~ The Adventures of Ayaka", "Chronicles of the Omniverse"- Wait, you don't know that last one? Never mind it then! Today I'm here to talk about something I am extremely passionate about- map design!

It is easily my favorite aspect of game development, and I feel like I'm pretty proficient at it. So, I would like to open up map making commissions to help people out on their own projects! I've got well over 10 years of experience, getting my start back in the ancient days of Binary ROM Hacking with Advance Map being the hottest tool on the block. I like to make sure the maps I make are of the highest standards I can possibly muster, so I have a fairly sharp eye for detail.

I also love communicating ideas with people and helping them reach a desired solution (If I'm able to)! If you're interested in taking a shot on me, I welcome you to message me on here, or DM me on Discord! I look forward to getting a chance to work with you! I promise, I don't bite- I'd much rather use an Ion Cannon. Also I just lost my job recently so I could really use some supplementary income while I try and find a new job...

Things to know about Derxwna:

I've been working with game development as a hobbyist for over 10 years, with an exceptional passion for map design.

I like to make sure that anything I make is the best quality I can possibly produce.

I do have a degree (of sorts) in Game Design, Programming, and Animation.

Spent a good majority of my time playing Wind Waker just trying to compare terrain to Ocarina of Time.

You will not find a person more offended by the tile errors in vanilla Pokemon games, I guarantee it.

What I am offering:

Map design for 2D environment based games.

Map critique and feedback. (This is free!)

Eventing on a small scale.

Redesigning your own maps.

What I am not offering:

A whole game made from scratch (Unless you're paying massive $Revenue).

Complex scripting maneuvers.

Unique tilesets. If you have a unique tileset you want me to use, send it- but I will check if you are allowed to use it.

Trainer battles.

Advice on how to spend your FSA. I answer those questions enough at my previous workplace.

Examples of my work:

-- Touhoumon Asteria -- https://imgur.com/a/hsAjnuk

-- Yitria Resurrection -- https://imgur.com/a/fveRkMc

-- Adventures of Ayaka -- https://imgur.com/a/tYAV8u7

-- Other Map Creations -- https://imgur.com/a/ZzqvrdV

Prices

-- Map Size --

Small map (30x30 or smaller): $10

Medium map (60x60 or smaller): $35

Large Map (100x100 or smaller): $60

Extra Large Map (100x100 or greater): $90

I am willing to take on a multi-map endeavor. Prices will be discounted for bulk purchases. I am also willing to very slightly haggle on the tiers above Small Map, but prices will not go below $10 above the previously listed tier.

-- Eventing --

Depending on event complexity and quantity, additional fees may be incurred.

-- Additional Pricing --

Gen 4 or 5 theme: +$40. I am not comfortable mapping in this style. I can attempt it, but only if you provide a tileset of the exact tiles you want.

When it comes to payments, I am flexible with how I receive them. I understand that people are not comfortable giving an entire lump sum for commissions. If you'd like, we can work out a payment plan of sorts, or you can pay a portion up front and pay the rest upon completion. If I do not or am unable to finish the map, I will refund the amount paid up front. As a note, if you are looking for a rush order, an additional fees may be incurred.

Contact Information

The best ways to reach me if you are looking for a commission, or if you have any additional questions are as follows:

The Eevee Expo Forums

Discord: DerxwnaKapsyla

Tumblr

This is where I would put my Twitter account- if it was unsuspended.

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/derxwnakapsyla.bsky.social

The best times to reach me are between 12 PM and 12 AM PST (GMT-7).

[fansplaining]

IWTV is the best show on TV. In today’s media environment, it is singular to be able to enjoy a show without the toxicity of the large fandoms. I have found that a majority of the show’s fans are hardcore Anne Rice fans making conversations about the show far more interesting. I am concerned of how this will change once S1 premiers on Netflix. The show deserves a larger audience and it will get it after it premiers on Netflix, but I hope the show runners remain true to the source material and continue on the path they have laid. Looking forward to future IWTV episodes.

Hello! Apologies for the delay in answering this, which I believe was in response to this article I wrote about the show and its audiences. With the official announcement this week that the AMC slate of shows are coming to Netflix on August 19th—

(also: lol Netflix, thank u)

—I was reminded to come back to it!

I totally agree with you re: the show itself, of course—but I also think you've curated your feeds very well haha. I've been observing many corners of the fandom throughout s2, partly because I was reporting on the fan/creator stuff, partly because I'm in the fandom, too. Fandoms are multifarious, and I'm not trying to paint with an overly broad brush—I've seen a ton of creativity and plenty of smart analysis etc. But I have also seen *so* much toxicity and *so* many willfully bad readings over the past few weeks, it's been shocking. Twitter in particular seems to have a literal Discourse of the Day and I don't understand how this is going to be sustainable over the year+ until s3 (lord help us all when s3 arrives lol).

There's a running joke—made so many times I'm not even thinking of a specific post—that people fear ~the Netflix masses~ will bring Bad Takes, but it seems highly likely a casual viewer will go, "Wow! Entertaining!" and move on with their lives, whereas existing fans of this show are already rocket-launching The Worst Takes at each other like clockwork (and even at random viewers who love the show but aren't a part of fandom conversations—because they don't like a person's phrasing, or the picture they chose for a post, etc etc etc).

As far as the idea that Rolin Jones or AMC will waver from their plans, I absolutely don't see that happening. AMC has long licensed their shows to large-audience platforms (Netflix in particular), but they're not making TV *for* those platforms. Jones and (IWTV EP) Mark Johnson have been pretty explicit about how they only could have made this show at AMC. I also found these post-finale comments from Jones very interesting:

I’m confident that we made the best vampire show we could make. I’m proud of the adaptation. There’s the element of second windows, how these things are going to be disseminated going forward. There does seem to be a lot of legwork done by fans. I look at 98 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and part of me is like, Ugh, that’s way too high. If the intention here is to make something that will haunt you and that will work 15, 20 years from now, did we piss off enough people?

There was another interview I cannot find now about how a larger viewing audience in those "second windows" means more chances for the people who really connect to the show to find it. I've loved seeing that this season, even—people who hadn't checked it out for whatever reason and have now been changed by it. When I wrote that article, fans were kind of cycling in an information vacuum, with minimal signals from AMC/the creators that the metrics for success weren't a pure numbers game. But in the final press run, they hit that message hard—they are in it for the long run, they want to make the best show they can, and they understand this is a sustained partnership with fans. I think they're going to continue taking the biggest creative swings they can, and I can't wait to see what's next.

(BTW, IWTV folks: I pulled @flourish away from their baby for 90 minutes and despite their combined total of perhaps 10 hours of sleep over the past 4 weeks lol we managed to finally record a season 2 special episode. It should be out for patrons early next week!)

[shuttershocky]

I see Dreamer is still alive and kicking, but I'm sure you all tried your best, so as promised, two tips to IS3

1.) Go physical - The higher you go, the worse Arts damage gets. How difficulty works in IS3 is that there are now 15 difficulty levels, with each one tacking on a new challenge (like Slay the Spire). You only need to go up to Difficulty 8 to get full run XP bonuses, so 9-15 are purely to show off how masochistic you are.

Anyway, N15 gives enemies so much RES that Arts damage is nearly unusable, with 90 RES on many difficult enemies such as Pompeii. If you want to actually make a dent, go for a physical team with very high damage per hit (as DEF can also get very high).

If you don't plan on going for maximum difficulty (there's no point other than the pain), your Casters will be just fine in the lower difficulty levels.

2) Get a sniper with crowd control - There's a reason why Kroos the Keen Glint is considered incredibly good value for hope in IS3 (and one of the strongest snipers overall in the mode), apart from her hope efficiency, 100k total damage on skill, and crit, she also has a ministun.

IS3 features a new flying Seaborn enemy that fires projectiles with high damage and becomes unbelievably tanky at N15, with boss level HP. Their weakness? They can be sent crashing down to the ground if slept, frozen, or stunned, where they're vulnerable. Kroos' rapidfire attacks, long range, anti-air Marksman trait, and crit dealing a 0.2 second stun makes her the perfect counter to these enemies, though other snipers with CC will find use as well.

And now a bonus third tip so you'll all try harder next time

3.) Prioritize xp gain - IS3 features a much more in-depth Upgrade Tree than IS2. Rather than simply give +1% stat gains, there are now upgrades that do everything from improving starting squads, adding new nodes to IS, starting with extra lives, etc.

It's a very big tree.

Anyway, don't get tempted to go for all the stat upgrades right away to boost your operators. Be smart and go down the branch that maximizes exp gain, making you level up faster in a run and getting more hope. More hope = more choices when getting operators, more choices of operators = better chances of surviving a run, longer runs = bigger rewards.

[mirai-e-jump]

Uchusen Vol. 76 (Spring 1996) Choukou Senshi Changerion Segment ft. Toshiki Inoue Interview (translations below)

Publication: June 1, 1996

BIRTH OF THE CHANGERION

Choukou Senshi Changerion, which began airing on April 3 as Toei Hero's third slot, is an extremely ambitious work that aims to create an epoch of 90s styled heroes.

First, there's the visual shock of the hero, with the heavy use of transparent materials. Shinohara Tamotsu was in charge of the design, and Rainbow Zoukei, which was in charge of the modeling, even installed new equipment for Changerion.

The result, as you can see, is a super battleship like suit, with two layers of crystals and mechanical parts throughout its body.

Another ambition of Changerion, is its spirit. As those who have seen the show already know, Akira Suzumura, the main character, is a person who has no sense of being a hero or having a mission.

With this character image at its core, the story is light hearted, with a comedic touch. At the moment, Screenwriter Toshiki Inoue's unique world is unfolding, as he handles all of it by himself. We'll leave the details to Producer Shirakura Shinichiro's comments, but, it's a completely new tokusatsu hero work that aims to be an anti existing hero. A new program with 100% expectations, keep an eye out for future developments! _

Staff Comments

Design: Shinohara Tamotsu

"Based on the premise that the suit is made of a transparent material, the key idea is to give off the image of a, "Demon in Angel's clothes." Both order and chaos are coexisting. For the transparent parts, I tried to create a godly feel with wings and muscles, which are associated with Greek mythology, while inside, I tried to create a rough feel with the complicated mechanics. It's true that the mechanics inside are so complicated, that it alone is like a demon…."

Modeling: Maezawa Nori (Rainbow Zoukei)

"Changerion is an idea that I've always wanted to try someday. That's why we tested it carefully, and finally completed the project after many retakes, until the very end of the permitted production time. I'm confident in saying that I've reached a level where I'm not embarrassed to consider this a modern tokusatsu hero. I'll continue to challenge myself to create new concepts whenever I have the opportunity, so please continue to support us."

Producer: Shirakura Shinichiro

"Our first priority when planning Changerion, was to create a true to life hero. For humans, I don't think they'd suddenly feel a sense of justice or mission when suddenly told that they're heroes from this day forward. Everyone wants to have fun and enjoy life. From that perspective, what kind of drama can we create? That was the theme. To achieve this, I wanted to establish the appeal of Akira's character as a human being, and make him the driving force for pulling the story along. For that reason, Inoue-san was the best choice for screenwriter. Another thing is that I want people to think is, "This is kinda stylish." I want it to give off the feel that this is a story that's happening right now, in the year 1996, and no other time. I want to properly capture the feeling of "Now" in my work. In that case, we, the staff of Changerion, are thinking of creating a completely new work without being bound by the existing image of a hero, so please look forward to it." _

Main Cast

"Why is this guy like this? And of all people…he's Changerion."

Suzumura Detective Agency Main Character: Akira Suzumura, is the head of the detective agency. Although he pretends to be a first rate detective, the work he receives is always something like searching for lost dogs and cats, and, he's constantly running into debt.

Akira Suzumura (Takashi Hagino): A naturally happy go lucky person. By chance, he's exposed to the Crystal Power and gains the power of Changerion, but he's not aware of being a warrior. He loves banana parfaits.

Akemi Tachibana (Mie Hayashi): A college student and a part time employee of the Suzumura Detective Agency. She's a reliable person and is practically in charge of the office. Her family runs a guest house in Iwate.

SAIDOC Members: Katsuhiko Hayami (Kazunari Aizawa), Takeshi Munakata (Noboru Ichiyama), Eri Minami (Chika Kochihira) A special agency established by scientist Takeshi Munakata in preparation for the DarkZide invasion. As a trump card, he carries out the Changerion Project using recovered DarkZide technology, but, all of it was accidentally taken by Akira, and the agency is in trouble financially.

Super Light Knight: 3 droids developed by SAIDOC to support Changerion. Each of them has the ability to transform from robot mode to vehicle mode.

DarkZide: Higher life forms that emerged in the Dark Dimension and evolve differently from humans. They disguise themselves as humans and hide in society. They're monsters whose purpose is to absorb "Larmu," the biological energy of humans. _

Interview with Toshiki Inoue

-Akira is quite honestly an incredible superhero-

"Inoue-san, have you been involved with Changerion since the planning stage?

Inoue: I have. We've been planning since the days of "Android Hakaider." So, since this would be the start of a brand new show, I thought it'd be better to break away from the existing hero genre. That being the case, I was certain that comedy was the way to go, and that comedy is the way to go from now on. I don't have anything to back up this claim (laughs).

"How did you create the main character?"

Inoue: In the beginning, he wasn't going to be a detective. He'd be a "fugitive". Like that old American TV series. I was trying to do a comedy with "The Fugitive" in mind, but it just didn't work out. It ended up becoming too dark (laughs). It's funnier when fugitives run away laughing like crazy. And since they're never in a single spot, it's hard to determine their location. That's why I made him a detective.

"In reality, being a detective is pretty plain, and isn't a very cheerful profession."

Inoue: That's right. Akira used to do pretty boring work before he became Changerion, didn't he? But, he's got a playful spirit even in his mundane work, so he has fun carrying a gun and acting pretentious. Characters like that are so important to me in that, it doesn't matter what their occupation is. It doesn't matter if he's a fugitive or a detective. He happened to become a detective by chance because it'd be easier to tell the story as a detective.

"The fact that the main character becomes a hero by chance is similar to Jetman."

Inoue: That's right. That's why there's only two ways to create a hero. Either it's someone who's selected and chosen, or it's someone that shouldn't have been selected but becomes a hero anyway. For me, I like the latter.

"The enemy's setup isn't really depicted within the show."

Inoue: Executives are becoming alot more unnecessary. When I start a show, even if I want to do something new, I don't change my mind so quickly, so I thought that things like an evil organization and other detailed settings were all necessary. But, as we started and the drama progressed, my expectations became different in a positive way. I began to think that we could do without all that. I can say that because the story is moving along. So, you know, it's easier to understand Changerion if you think of it as just a detective drama. It doesn't have to be a so called hero story, where it's split up by allies and enemies who then fight each other. It also doesn't have to be like a final episode, where the enemy is finally defeated and the story ends. But, the scenario is difficult. If this were a normal hero story, I could do the whole show with just one idea, but it's a comedy, so I have to come up with alot of material, so it's…..it's abit tiring, isn't it? (laughs).

"What would Inoue-san consider to be his image of a hero?"

Inoue: It would be a guy who's complacent. When faced with a crisis, everyone goes into a state of panic, so I think that having composure in such a situation is a strong point. That's why Akira is quite honestly an incredible superhero, now that I just thought about it (laughs).

[monstercampus]

How do we spend time with the student body when we aren't bangin' like bunnies? Like, do we have a movie watch party with the werewolves, gaming marathon with Lidya, just a chill day with the Centipede? Playing sports, study group, etc. I am all for the fucking frenzy like everyone else, but I just wanted to know what are things we do together in our free time :v

Of course! There's lots to do around campus on a day-to-day basis, both organized by the university itself or just what the students like to do on their off time. It's a big part of monster culture to throw parties and hang out with people whether you know them really well or just met, so it's likely that you could be swept into a bush party or invited into someone's dorm to smoke or play board games without even knowing their names.

As for individual students, again, there's lots! With the werewolves being the jocks they are, they're most likely to go live it up at the frat parties and afterparties for the sports games or dances, so if drinking and partying in general is your thing you'll always have a group to go with you (and keep you safe!). Although you'll have to deal with their incessant clinginess when they inevitably get hangovers, and suffer through the touchiest cuddle piles imaginable if more than one or two of them are feeling nauseous or have headaches. If you've got plans the next day, definitely skip the hardcore partying with them the night before!

Lidya and Jude are probably the ones you'll hang out with the most since they're pretty much always available, and since nobody else really tends the arcade she can pretty much open and close it whenever she wants. So if you're in the mood, she'll open up a private or public gaming tourney and you can spend hours just hanging out, talking, and trying to beat each other at your favourite games, and once it gets late she'll get food delivered and you can watch a movie or something on the sofa in the backroom. The best part is that she's spent so much time tinkering with Jude's hardware that she's come up with a couple different devices to take him out into the real world! She has yet to make anything crazy like an android body (she's working on that as a future birthday gift) but for now she's got a keychain that has a modified USB and what looks like a little retro Tamagotchi; the USB is for her to plug into the arcade cabinets so she can upload his data and he can play alongside you guys, and the Tamagotchi has a pixely little version of Jude inside that she can take around so he doesn't get lonely. Whenever she's out of the arcade, there's a good 80-90% chance that she's got Jude with her, so if you wanna hang out you can do so pretty much anywhere! She can even plug him into the laptop she's got at her dorm, although the last time she did that he got ahold of some....ahem, sensitive file folders she wanted to keep private, so she'll only let him in there if you wanna watch something online with her in her room.

As for centipede, you hit the nail on the head! If Efraim's not in class he's usually getting high, so you can stop by his dorm day or night and get a free hit off him pretty much anytime. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when he's handsy or you can clearly tell he was planning on jerking off instead of entertaining company, but in general it's just harmless fun and you can just bum around his dorm doing nothing if you want. He's always in the mood to watch a movie or listen to music, and he's surprisingly not averse to cooking and not too bad at it either, so if you get hungry or you're just bored hell find something you two can make together to kill a couple hours. He does that a lot, you'll find--if there's a distinct lull in conversation or your mood shifts downward, he might offer, but most times he'll just quietly get up off the couch and go fix you something to eat. Even if it's just cutting an apple and some peanut butter or making you a sandwich, he fills time pretty well with putzing around the kitchen in the hopes of finding you something you really, really like. Do keep in mind that he's got roommates, however, and although Zombie can be a pretty amiable guy to share a space with...his slime roommate is less so. So if they're home, Efraim will probably try to keep your hangout to his bedroom to limit the distractions.

It may sound a little odd, but your yeti professor is pretty open to spending time together, too! Aryck holds baking lessons quite often and he's almost always in the kitchen, so if you're ever bored or looking to expand your culinary expertise he's usually around. You can even be his taste tester if you want, and hang around the classroom for an hour or two while he tests recipes and puts together his lesson plans for the next semester! It may feel a little awkward at first, but it turns into great fun once you open up to him a little more. A lot of the professors either spend much of their time on campus or are looking for assistance in some of their menial academic tasks, so you could probably find any professor you like and hang out with them awhile in exchange for some easy labour and snacks as a reward. The orc metalworking professor holds girls-only workshops weekly too, which is a great way to get to know the girls at school since they're all so friendly and are eager to make new friends! Go there once and you'll be invited to every sleepover and girl's night and brunch for the rest of the year! And of course, the resident doctor on campus is constantly cycling through "assistants" for his questionable medical trials, so if you're feeling brave you can come help him out and be treated to teatime afterwards.

The harpies are great fun, too! There's a group of them that live in the same dorm building as you do, and while they can be excitable and sometimes a little loud late at night, they're always eager to have company and will invite you in if you so much as pass by their door. They're not only great for parties or dances but they do a lot of studying together too, so they'd be happy to cram together for your exams and midterms! And they know all the professor's likes and weaknesses, so they'll get you any important info you may need if you have to appeal to them so they'll curve your grade. Plus, free snacks!

The university holds lots of intramurals for various sports all throughout the year, too, so even if you don't want to join a team or commit for a whole season you can still play with both the athletes and the casuals, and the pool is almost always open so swimming is a year-round option too. The werewolves and Priam do these a lot during the winter months when the football season is in a lull, so they'll always be up for pretty much any sport you wanna do and will be all too happy to show you how to play if you're a newbie. Plus, they've got rec rooms separate from the arcade in nearly every dorm building and in a few of the main academic buildings, which have the usual dartboards, pool tables, community game consoles, cards, board games, and D&D style books along with signup sheets to join oneshots or campaign groups. Many of the non-athletic clubs and groups gather in the rec rooms around campus, so it's a good way to get a feel for any extracurriculars you might wanna join! Antón runs a book club and Ollie's part of the chess team, for example, so if there's something you're interested in there's probably either someone you know that's in it or a professor you've got that's running it.

Of course, you could always attend sermons or the charity events the chapel holds too, if you feel so inclined--it may be intimidating to walk in knowing how the Archangel feels about you, especially where his protégé is involved. But Isaac would be more than happy to take your hand and show you around, and he'll stick to your side like glue during any events so you won't get caught alone with Mikael and have an interrogation thrown your way. He'll take the tongue-lashing happily in your stead once you're gone--he's used to the strict hand the high angels take anyways, and he's gone through the purity rituals so many times he could sleep through them at this point. If it means you're more likely to come around more often, he'll gladly sit through a lecture as many times as he needs to!

Also, whether you're a strong swimmer or can't swim at all, Nessie and the Kraken always somehow appear when you come to take a dip in the lake. Nessie's unashamedly competitive if you're good and will want to race and time how long you can hold your breath, but if you're not a swimmer at all, he and the Kraken will want very badly to teach you. It's more of Nessie's active guidance that you'll get as he holds you and shows you how to tread and paddle, but you can be reassured that if you ever get scared or the current pulls you down too far, the Kraken will rouse within moments and extend its tentacles from the depths to push you back up to the surface for air. If need be, it'll even carry you above the water and let you down once you're at the shore, or it'll let out that deep, rumbly cry to alert Nessie to your plight so he'll come splashing up to help you!

[itsclydebitches]

I know you’re focusing on Ted lasso right now (which after seeing your gifs and meta I’ve started watching it and I love it, but I was wondering what you thought of what little tai and summer content we got?

If it’s not too much trouble

TED LASSO CONVERT HELL YEAH! :D

We only got a couple of seconds of content, though one thing that stands out to me is Tai's anxiety about Summer leaving.

Honestly, I feel like this is a case of writer/audience knowledge informing the scene in ways it technically shouldn't. Meaning, we know Summer is going to (presumably) die on this mission, ergo her final goodbye is treated as an Emotional Moment even though, from an in-world perspective, this shouldn't really be something to worry about. Yes, there's the generic understanding that they have a dangerous job but

1. Tai is mostly inclined to view this as a "run of the mill patrol" that they'll laugh about later. AKA nothing serious (something Summer encourages because it helps sell her lie).

2. This is, obviously, pre-Summer's death so Tai shouldn't have any reason to be more worried than any loved one would be when a huntress/Inner Circle member goes to work. Not unless there's something else in his backstory we don't know about yet.

3. 90% of our RWBY content treats this job - even the war portions of the job - as something that's dangerous only in the theoretical sense. That's likely due to most of that content stemming from our protagonists with their plot armor, but the overall effect is that being a huntsmen really isn't treated as this inherently anxiety-inducing career, so Tai's sudden worry over Summer leaving on what he believes to be the fighting equivalent of a milk run stands out. If our title team + JNPR had spent less time treating their own missions as fun-times-cannon-fodder-look-how-amazing-we-are outings, I might buy this moment more.

So we have this foreknowledge influencing the scene (Summer's gonna die! Make it emotional!!) but outside of that meta reading, this seems significant to me because Tai is right to be worried. This isn't just him grappling with the fact that any mission is inherently dangerous, we know that it's more dangerous than usual because Summer is going off on some Special Secret Mission... and she's not telling Tai about it.

Worse, she was planning to leave without saying anything at all. Tai clearly startles her: "It's not like you to rush off on a mission in the middle of the night."

This isn't a case of Summer planning Mission A and then selling Mission B - "I'm off to complete the task Ozpin definitely set for me. See you later, honey!" - it's a case of her trying to sneak out, failing, and then spinning a yarn to cover her tracks. Summer read the girls to sleep and then fully planned to disappear without a word, knowing - despite everything else she might claim - that there was a damn good chance she might not be coming back. Why else would she leave a token for Ruby, just in case?

Really, this whole scenario does not endear me to Summer. In some respects Tai is lucky he caught her and got a lie as a pseudo Band-Aid. Can you IMAGINE waking up in the morning to your wife being gone with NO explanation as to where she went or what might have become of her? Did she leave me? Go on a mission? Get kidnapped?? That would have fucked with him even more than simply loosing her did. Summer was willing to walk out without a word to Tai, she left a token for only one of her girls, she lied about who Tai should hold responsible when she eventually disappeared, and half of this team (because remember, they are a team just like RWBY and JNPR are supposed to be) is plotting something dangerous with the other two being completely in the dark about it. What a mess. Can you imagine if Yang tried to sneak out in the dead of night when Blake hopefully wouldn't notice, plotting something secret with Weiss, tosses out that she's leaving on Jaune's say-so, is killed, and Blake is left with no explanation because Weiss refuses to say anything and Jaune, obviously, has no answers to offer her? This moment does not help sell the team's bond or the love between Summer/Tai and I REALLY wish the show had actually engaged with this instead of brushing it aside with, 'Omg. Mom said she loves me just the way I am ^_^' RWBY is absolutely stuffed with characters who lie, manipulate, don't trust each other, throw each other under the bus when it's most convenient, engage in morally gray choices while railing at others who do the exact same... and the narrative isn't willing to acknowledge that unless your name is Ozpin or Ironwood. The fact that Ozpin is at the center of everything important in this scene - Summer's lie, their cute recitation of what he would say - just further highlights how he remains the most narratively significant character we've got, but the show doesn't want to acknowledge that because it's supposed to be a story about Ruby. So we just get weird scenes like this where - nearly a decade in - more questions are introduced instead of answering old ones, characters are depicted as having crumbling relationships that are never explored, loved ones aren't allowed to engage with those revelations, and incredibly loaded lines are tossed out without them ever going anywhere because the character they put at the center of all the action isn't actually supposed to be there.

[rocksibblingsau]

I love how you over analyze and over think when you do your work, also doing some research and considering some things and planning things through. It's very convenient and useful when it comes to building a story. And I like and respect you for that.

I wish I could be like that, but I don't really get a lot of idea's. I only get some through other people and I want to be able to think of something independently.

Ik this is a stupid question, but I wanna know what you think would help with getting idea's and thoughts for certain things. Maybe from your experience perhaps? You probably don't have the answer, but If you do could you share?

----DumbTruck :>

Thank you! My brain constantly going at 90 mph is useful sometimes.

To me, ideas are a snowball. Getting enough to get the ball rolling is what you gotta worry about. You get that initial plot idea or scene idea, and then you just start throwing stuff at it until it starts to look like something.

I've read a lot of fics, looked at lots of fanart and I listen to a LOT of music. I've seen lots of various AUs, 'missing scene' concepts and tweaking characters around. Listening to music also helps me since I'll just start sticking songs to characters and wait for a concept to make that song work with that character.

If you're struggling to come up with that initial idea, it might help to do some experimenting with ideas that already exist. Absolutely nothing wrong with you reading a fic and going 'I want to try my own spin on this idea'.

Since you're here, I imagine you also read fanfiction so think of your favorite fandom, the one that occupies your mind the most. Then your favorite character. What is the one fanfic you would most like to read? Has someone written that idea? What did you like about it and what did you dislike about it? Were there fics that had some elements you liked that you think would be cool merged? I started Rock Sibblings because I couldn't find the exact fic I wanted, so most of it is wish fulfillment.

If you don't have anything in mind, think about some common AUs or plots. Pick some of those and think about how you might do them. Try to push away from the normal and even if it gets super weird, you're gaining something from the experience. I think working with minor/background characters helps me because it opens up more avenues to me. I've never seen anyone work with Petra in fanfic, and I decided to toss her in and I think she's gonna add a lot of new avenues!

If it's less the initial idea and more the everything after, just getting sucked into random things helps me. Looking up subgenres of rock music can quickly spiral into learning about other things. I also recommend googling random things sometimes just to see where that leads. The diner scene really only happened because when trying to name the fry special I thought of greasers and then decided to google them. Then I was reminded of 50s diners and realized the scene could have a lot more life to describe the diner as similar to that, and then of course that opened up the chance to include rock n roll music. There's also a place near my home that has this sort of historical exhibit with a 1950s area (really just dig up any memories you have related to random topics), and there was a jukebox and pinball machine in the diner, so of *course* there needs to be a jukebox and pinball machine. And you can't just have a pinball machine and not have them play it. So now they're playing pinball, and so they gotta be hanging out and goofing off! Tada, snowballing.

This was a little disjointed and I'm sorry if it's not of much help. I've never really thought too much about making ideas, its more the execution that I struggle with.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I love your insights cause you seem like you have the wisdom of an 90 year old. Do you have any advice for a 30 something yo woman that struggles with deep anxiety and sadness even in *happy* times? (I was depressed when I started dating, than I was scared when I got engaged, I was so anxious to do a wedding that I didn't do anything me and my partner skipped right to planning a honeymoon trip, the next stage is having kids and i'm so scared). I don't want to go through life being sad over things that i want and should bring joy (because I do want them. It's just every little change for some reason gives me panic and nobody around me seem to get why even my husband..I have no clue why i'm so sensitive to changes and decision making) and the circle seem to be never ending..I did therapy and talked a lot with a therapist and i'm better, but the emotions and inner sadness still there. Sorry if it's too much info..I guess i'm hoping other women/girls/guys reading this might feel similar in life and have ways of coping? I feel like i'm the only person on the planet feeling like this and i'm scared admitting it to others (I share with them..but they don't really *see* the heavy-crying-vomit-feeling every second of the day so in the end it's just me)

***

Hi Anon 💜

What I can say to you is limited by how personal your ask is, how little I know about you and the subject (I really wouldn’t call myself wise), and how public my forum is. There’s undoubtedly a lot more you’re not saying (understandably), but I’ll try not to ramble in telling you what I think.

The fact you’re asking me this here despite already seeing someone far more qualified to give you advice (your therapist), tells me this is something that’s constantly on your mind, something that weighs on you so much you’d consider a random blogger’s opinion and that of her followers.

So I guess the first question is:

Why are you afraid?

Because that’s what anxiety essentially is. In my layman, unqualified BPP language, anxiety is being in a state of fear. And there's two reasons people could be afraid:

A good reason.

A not good reason.

And you get to decide which is which for you. Personally, the events you're describing sound like life-changing events, things with pretty profound implications not just for you but for people around you. And rather than see your fear about it as a malaise, I see it as perhaps a mild overreaction to recognizing the enormity of the implications.

But there could be more to it...

A - Sometimes, people experience something that legitimately warranted that state of fear in them, a traumatic or abusive event where fear was the only right response, an event (or series of events) that left an imprint on them. And their bodies and minds are subconsciously stuck in that state, and this could be for a whole host of reasons. This is also something that can lead to a lot of behaviours, like being afraid of change, constantly seeking comfort in what’s known and familiar, and fearing the unknown. In cases like this, psychotropic medication can help; as can therapy; journaling can help your mind work through your thoughts, help you remain present and not dissociate; improving your physical health to help your body recalibrate, etc.

B - Other times, this state is triggered by a purely physiological response and this can be due to an imbalance in your baseline. Meaning, (I’m sure the medical debate is still out on this one but) I think most people have a sort of physiological baseline for things like hormone levels (dopamine mostly), that’s oftentimes tied to several factors but including, notably, genetics. As an example, it’s been observed that people from tropical countries (or with recent ancestry including people from tropical countries) have a higher chance of suffering Seasonal Affective Disorder in winter months (so obviously after moving from tropical climates) than the general population. Meaning their genetic composition has a baseline that expects higher vitamin D levels, more natural sunlight etc, than the general population, and in the absence of these things, their bodies (and mental states) struggle to adjust without supplemental help. Supplemental help can look like vitamins, adjusting your diet to gain more of those nutrients/vitamins, nature lamps, spending more time outdoors. and in more drastic cases reconfiguring your work life to be more in-line with natural sunlight cycles.

It’s one reason frequent physical exercise helps the mental states so much for most people. How picking up a sport (like running or yoga) or spending time in the gym consistently improves mental health, helps them feel more confident and assured. Aside from the beneficial facts we all know, the reality is the sedentary lifestyle most people enjoy in the 21st century is an anomaly. Our bodies have evolved over millions of years in a way that required physical endurance, strength training, and constant movement to do very basic things: from eating, to hygiene, to even sleeping in a safe environment. I mean, the very act of washing your clothes required far more physical exertion until the invention of the washing machine in the 19th century. Cooking was a far more arduous exercise than putting something in the microwave, building heights were limited by how much people could walk and climb until we had escalators and elevators in the last century doing the work for us. Most of us are living in bodies that have a collective memory of doing far more work just to survive everyday life, that’s our physiological baseline, and yet we’re living in the most sedentary societies ever. That causes a physiological imbalance, and some people are more sensitive to that imbalance than others. The anxiety could be a signal that your body and mind recognize something is wrong or out of whack. One solution here is ratcheting up your physical movement, endurance, and strength, and typically that will help your body regulate the rest so long as you’re consistent.

C - Yet another reason some people remain in a state of fear, is that rather than a physiological imbalance being the culprit, it’s an imbalance in their sense of self. This is a bit more sensitive for me to get into, given I really don’t know you and I don’t want to hurt you unduly, but you’ve listed all these things you have going on for you in your life… are they things you actually want? What is it about your current state that terrifies you? Is there something about what you tell yourself internally or privately that you struggle to live out loud? Do you feel like you should be somewhere else, doing something else, being someone else? Do you feel like you’ve actively chosen the life you have or do you feel like a passenger in your own life watching things happen to you?

Is there any consistency between your inner beliefs, values, and desires vs your outward actions and reality? Or is there dissonance? Because what dissonance can do, is trigger the signal that something is wrong and leave you paralyzed in a state of fear if you believe you have no tools to reverse course or power through. If any of these are true for you, there’s no shortcut to reaching a solution. You have to ask yourself why you feel this way. Is there another life or another person you’re comparing to? Are there societal expectations on you that are restrictive? You'll have to decide for yourself what living with personal integrity means for you, finding a way that aligns your inner beliefs (assuming its not rooted in trauma - see A) with your outward reality.

*

Like I said above, there's two reasons one could be afraid. For good reasons, it's best to honour that fear and do what is right and safe for you. And for not good reasons, the only solution is to power through that fear, over and over again. The more afraid you feel, the more you do it. You can choose to throw yourself into it, or seek support for ways to do that safely.

If perhaps you don't feel ready to have a baby you want because you feel inexperienced, lack the resources to fully care for the child, have misgivings about your partner etc, I’m going to go out on a limb here, and be prescriptive. I’m sorry in advance if this is pushing it. But I'd say these are good reasons to be afraid. I'd suggest you communicate these reasons to someone you trust (a therapist and perhaps someone you know), spend a bit more time in preparing financially because kids aren't cheap, invest in building your social support circle (this could include relatives and friends), start actively planning for your life with a new person in it, and this can include finding people who can support you even if your partner isn't in the picture for whatever reason.

If the reason you're hesitating to have a baby you want is because you fear the unknown, I'd again go out on a limb to say I don't believe this is a good reason. In this case, what you choose to do is up to you, but I suggest you embrace the adventure (after preparing as much as you can).

Recognize your fear, assess if it's for the right reasons and if so honour it, and adjust accordingly. If it's not for the right reasons, power through it to do what you actually want.

I rambled again but I wish you all the luck, Anon. 💜

[m34gs]

Time for you to tell me why (in detail) you love Octavinelle! :D

Hey friend, thanks for the ask. I love talking about my Octavinelle boys and the dorm itself is pretty fun.

There's lots of reasons I like this specific dorm, and some of them are very emotional for me and others are not that deep haha, so I'll put a cut because I don't think everyone else probably wants to see that all over their dashes hahaha.

Let's start with some of the simpler reasons:

The Little Mermaid being the reference/inspiration for the dorm. I love The Little Mermaid. I had Ariel bedding when I was a little girl. Stuff to do with it or inspired by it makes me happy. I used to play "mermaids" at the pool with my friends, and anything to do with mermaids made me happy too.

Purple being the main colour for the dorm. I love purple. I love every shade, but I especially love the lighter purples like lavender. It makes my brain very happy.

The twistunes music for book 3. I love that kind of jazz music. It makes my brain very happy.

The mafia aesthetic of Azul and the twins. Mafia aesthetics make me happy. I've been to the MOB museum in Vegas and I like learning about mafia. (90% of the reason I like the anime Baccano is because it involves mafia families). Organized crime is just interesting to me, and I love the way things are not always what they seem on the surface. It makes the brain happy.

Then there's the characters themselves. This is where my reasons get a bit more in-depth:

Floyd. Floyd is my favourite of the trio. He's fun, he's chaotic, and he would bite me if he wanted to. Idk I like strong and chaotic characters that like to do things just for fun. 10/10 would let him bite me. I like how despite him coming across as flippant and flaky, he is very loyal to Azul and Jade. Make no mistake, he does not always listen to them, but he is loyal to them. He's a bit of a wildcard and that makes him fun but it also keeps things from getting predictable with him. If there's one thing you can count with Floyd, it's that you can't really predict what he's going to do. It keeps a person on their toes and that's fun. I wish I could be more like Floyd and do things I want just because I want to, so when I'm feeling nervous about doing what I want I try to think of him.

Jade. I like Jade's character a lot too. He reminds me a lot of Sebastian from Black Butler, which is a character type I like. I think what's fun about Jade is that everyone thinks he's the "more reasonable" twin, but if it comes down to it I'd rather piss of Floyd than Jade. Floyd is a lot more straightforward in his actions and there's a chance he'll get bored eventually of tormenting you. Jade holds onto things and plans and plots and can be very vindictive. I love that for him. I also just really love how cute he gets when he's excited about nature. It's adorable. Would also let him bite me. I like to channel his calm exterior when I'm mad but have to deal politely with a jerk. It makes me feel powerful even if I have to swallow my pride and apologize for the sake of smoothing things over.

Azul. So, Azul actually took me a little bit to warm up to. I needed to get to know his character pretty thoroughly before I really did. I like how much he loves the Monstro Lounge. I think it's really sweet that he puts so much effort and time into it; it's clear he really enjoys running it and I think that makes him very relatable. I also like how he hates flying and prefers to do mental work rather than physical work. I especially loved the way he used his Unique Magic in the Glorious Masquerade event; it was an interesting way to use deal-making as a form of combat and I thought that was fun. Aside from Jamil, Azul is probably the other Twisted Wonderland character I relate to the most. He's less inclined toward the physical things, as am I. He was chubby as a child, and so was I. I still am fat. And he got bullied for it. I was bullied a lot as a child and part of that was definitely due to my weight and body. I felt isolated a lot and I only had a few friends that I actually trusted. His perfectionism is another thing I relate to. In high school, I legitimately thought if I did not achieve an average of 90% or higher in all the subjects (expect PE) that I would drop dead. Like just, spontaneously. I was in the hardest version we had physically available at our school for each core subject, and I remember my dad actually being upset that, despite taking both Chem 30 and Bio 30 and Calculus, I wasn't also doing Physics 30. I only needed 2 sciences for the programs I wanted to get into. He just wanted me to take physics as well because I finished Physics 20 with a 94% and he thought I didn't really need a spare period in school. Because I didn't have enough going on. This was on top of doing music festival performances, music exams, music lessons and practice (for fuck's sake, I took three years of piano theory with my other piano lessons. I was *paying* someone to give me extra fucking homework and for what???? so dad could brag about me? it didn't teach me how to play the songs I really wanted to play. and I don't even have a piano to practice on now or play on for fun), volunteering in the church, working a part-time job, applying to scholarships, and helping my mother take care of my younger siblings. I know the exact fear of not being perfect when you think you have to be and I remember how much I wanted to make it all stop. So, when it comes to Azul, I just really want to hug him and tell him he's good enough and that it's all ok.

And yeah, that's pretty much why I like Octavinelle so much.

[turtlebros4u]

TMNT Bayverse Boys x Reader: Hands on their weapons (4\4)

SFW FLUFF

This is it. This is my man. My beloved Donnie. My knowledge of engineering was able to add a twinge of realism to his cool gadgets, some of this is based on many years of conversations between engineers of different backgrounds. This one turned out sooooo long but also terribly proud of the drawing, though I might edit it with better color balancing. Enjoy!

Prompt: What would each of the brothers do if you picked up their weapons out of curiosity?

Donnie

It was a quiet observance of a federal holiday.

You were up at the crack of dawn due to some angry horn honking drivers on the corner below your apartment. Unable to go back to sleep you begrudgingly started your day earlier than expected.

Now you find yourself in the early afternoon with your chores and errands finished. You had expected to work this weekend but your boss mustered up some holiday spirit and closed the shop and granted the staff some early bonuses.

Unfortunately he only told you yesterday at the end of your shift so you didn't have much time to make any plans with friends or family.

But you did happen to know some folks who weren't going to be upset with a surprise visit from you; and they happen to be name after some wonderfully talented Renaissance artists.

You check the time and hesitate.

They are mostly nocturnal, so would anyone even be awake? You stood there, backpack on, scarf at the ready, one hand holding a half-turned doorknob, just contemplating if it was worth it to make the trip if you'd be alone for a few hours before anyone awoke.

After a few long minutes you rationalize that at the very least Splinter's insomnia might offer you a chance to hear some childhood stories about the guys.

Yeah, that was reason enough for you to at least try. Worst comes to worst you could probably just hang out at a nearby bagel shop and watch the news.

You grab your sewer parka and head to the far end of Manhattan to the only underpass with sewer access that wasn't also a homeless camp. You used this entrance on the few occasions when you'd visit the turtles during the day, otherwise most alleyway entrances would suffice in the dark.

You sipped on your second latte of the day as the flurry of faces and people piled onto the subway then off again at each stop. You stared at the illuminated ads above the heads of strangers while waiting for your stop.

The train slows and you see your stop printed in tiles along the station walls.

Those tiles must be from the 90s, you think, you just don't see that shade of torquise and purple anymore.

You exit through the turnstile and up the stairs. The cool winter air hits your cheeks and you brace as the gust aims to fuddle your already messy bun.

It's a few blocks to the underpass you're aiming for and along the way you stop to grab a couple of hot bagels and shove the foil wrapped lunch into your pockets.

You descend unnoticed into the sewer entrance, noticing it's significantly tidier than the last time you used it some months ago. A smile creeps onto your face just thinking about the guys spending the better half of a day just to keep this little part of the sewer, a place specifically design to be gross, clean just for potential visitors.

You knew they had a few friends between you and April and Casey, but you wondered which of you they really cleaned for, secretly you hoped that it was you. Though, unless you asked you couldn't be sure.

The next 20 minutes was a comfortable walk down a manageably lit path towards the lair. You didn't mind as much, the rumbling of trains echoed deeply, the cars muffled in the distance, and the occasional exhaust pipe whistled from some boiler tucked away in the basement of a nearby building.

A soft colorful glow appeared around the bend.

That was it, the lair.

You step through the draped plastic sheeting that formed the threshold of the cozy terrapin abode and separated it from the rest of the unkempt sewers.

You look around. The massive signature couch, empty. Donnie's control center with 30-some screens quietly humming and continually running programs or streaming news, empty. Kitchen where many mugs of tea were shared, empty.

You release a tense breath you didn't realize you were holding in.

Not an unusual noise to be heard. You sigh, slightly disappointed, but remove your sewer parka, scarf and gloves and hang them in the usual place.

You take the bagels and toss one on the kitchen counter, someone will eventually eat it. The other you keep in your hand to enjoy soon.

You feel odd. It's the middle of the day for you, maybe 2pm? But here it's like the middle of the night. It's almost liminal.

You stroll towards the dojo where you've seen many spars and meditations; empty again. You were sure you'd be able to hear any action from the half pipes had someone been there and decide not to get your hopes up. Aside from the bedrooms there's one last place to check.

The lab.

You walk around a corner into a short hall, at the end of it was another wall of draped plastic intended to isolate the lab. Although Donnie basically built it, it wasn't necessarily only his lab. Leo has his corner with a whet stone for sharpening his katana. Mikey and Raph had a makeshift sound booth and studio built at one end for their music production. And Raph even stored his less used knitting supplies in a locked cabinet there. Donnie just happened to occupy a great deal of the rest with all sorts of benches, mechanisms and scientific gadgets.

You reach to push the plastic out of the way and pause.

You shouldn't be surprised to find it empty, but still, you feel nervous. Like you want someone to be there. Was it to make it feel like your visit was intentional? Or did you want to not be alone? Did you care who was there?

Instead of facing those questions you push your way through the heavy plastic drapes.

Empty.

Damn.

Most of the lamps above each workbench are shut off. But small LEDs on various equipment offered enough illumination to see that there had been very little activity here in the last few hours.

A distinct shape caught your eye on one of the soldering benches. You walk over, setting your bagel down on the only bench Donnie allowed food to be at, and made your way to the silhouette of interest.

Upon reaching it you flip the switch for the bench overhead lights. Before you lies what appears to be a newly crafted staff.

You know better than to touch it. You duck and bob your head taking in the details from what you could see without disturbing it.

It hasn't had the edges sanded down yet, and some of the soldering is still messy, but you can already identify some new features that weren't in the previous model but you recall Donnie excitedly raving about adding them to the next.

"So what do you think?"

You nearly leap out of your skin. You spin on your heels into a low defensive stance by instinct.

The tall nearsighted turtle had silently moved through the plastic curtains and had been standing in the archway. His curious expression doesn't change after your reflexes spun you around.

Recognizing that it's only him, you relax. You relax so much you feel a tension in your chest that was there since you arrived fade away as well.

"Why are you awake so early?" You ask.

"Occasionally I'll get up earlier than the others just to get some peace and quiet for a few hours." You knew how much of a ruckus the others made once they were awake.

"Ah, so should I leave?" You ask sheepishly.

"No," he answered quickly, "please stay."

You were both awkwardly quiet for a moment.

So what do you think? The question echoes in your head.

You glance back to the staff, then back to Donnie, who is walking towards you and you notice the second bagel in his hand. He motioned you over to have breakfast with him at the "food bench".

"Oh, I mean it's still got some work to do," you say sitting beside him and unwrapping your bagel, "but if you mean from a fellow engineers perspective, it looks like you've got the accelerometer upgrade in it that you've been wanting for months, the sleek tracking device ejector integrated with pneumatics, and quite possibly some degaussing wiring running along it, presumably to negate any magnetic fields you encounter. Did I miss anything? It looks like you've been working on the fabrication for a week or two now. "

As you had been talking Donnie finished his meal in just a few bites. You get to work on yours, expecting his response to be long winded, and you're excited to hear him ramble about his creation.

"No, you didn't miss anything at all. I'm glad you remembered that I'd been wanting to add all those features to my next staff. The planning was pretty easy, but finding all the specific materials I needed was the hard part. Getting just the right grade of steel and brass tubing of the exact sizes took me a month alone. The pneumatics are actually hypercompressed air into single use microcannisters... " He continued to ramble and you smiled through your meal.

Once finished you shoot back some questions. He answers and provides exquisite detail about his process.

"So how's the weight? It's not going to be too unwieldy is it? Sounds like the material change might throw it off."

He jumps up and retrieves the staff, "no actually I designed it to have the same weighted properties, and kept the weight nearly the same by changing the springs to lighter zinc but stronger push power."

He stands there, demonstrating the ease of use, shifting the staff between his hands and spinning it, "Here give it a try."

You set your bagel down, stand, and grab the staff carefully.

You'd given Donnie's old staff some tests before when you had first asked him about his design process for engineering it. This new one was indeed well balanced, it spun easily despite it being more than your own height and only felt slightly heavier than the previous model.

You nod, studying closely some of the fine craftsmanship near the springs.

He chuckles softly, "I'm really glad you understand the work I do. It's really a relief to talk to you and feel like you really understand what I'm saying when I go off about things. Sometimes my brothers try, I mean I know sometimes they want to support me, but I just know they haven't got more than a dial-up tone between their ears when I try to tell them what I do."

You look up with a grin of awe tugging at the edges of your lips. "Donnie, what you do is so cool. I couldn't do this, I know just enough to appreciate how incredible all of it is, though. The electrical engineering for the lair, the coding for security protocols, the design and MacGuyvering to make tools and weapons and tracking devices. It's nothing short of genius."

He looks startled at your response, "Y-you really think so?" He glanced down, bit his lip and fiddled with his thumbs.

"I know so." You say. You knew he had always been self conscious of himself. His brothers didn't understand his skill very well. He was scrawny when beside them, he just didn't have nearly the raw brawn to fight the same.

A smile grew on his face and his eyes met yours. Your heart skipped. You didn't have time to savor it because Donatello dashed away towards the back of the lab. "You know, uh, as a sort of, I guess, thank you," he was either excited or nervous, he didn't usually stutter this badly otherwise, your eyebrows furled in confusion watching him shuffle and tumble around bins of equipment.

"I would like, uhm, to ask if you'd like, uh, well, a staff of your own?" He appeared from behind a bench holding a mostly rudimentary staff with some very old electronic modifications to it.

Still not sure why he's suddenly offering, you answer honestly nonetheless, "Yeah I think that would be pretty amazing if it was decked out with some stuff I'd use regularly."

His smile beamed brighter. "Uh, well, this is the second model of my staves. I made it when I was 13, and, uh, I've reclaimed the few gadgets it used to function with, but," he swallowed, "I'd really like to refurbish it into something you'd like."

You, obviously flattered and jittery with joy at the possibility of getting a hand crafted gadget by one of the best engineering prodigies you knew, nearly fell out of your chair. "Seriously?!"

Mirroring your energy and feeding off the positive reinforcement, Donnie gained confidence, "Absolutely, just tell me what you want and it'll be yours. I can have it ready by your birthday easily. And I couldn't be happier handing it off to you because I trust you'd treat it with the respect it deserves, unlike some people..." He trailed off.

Still in your hands, you lift the large staff above your head and with a small leap swing it over Donnie's head and onto his shoulders, and with your hands still gripped you swing your weight back pulling the lanky turtles shoulders down to your level.

He dropped the small light staff and grasped at the large one suddenly dragging him down in elevation.

Frozen there, inches from you face, he looks into your eyes and sees a chaotic look only other mad scientists could recognize. He blinks, dumbfounded.

You smirk, "I want it to fold into the coolest walking cane you've ever seen when not in use, I want an emergency button that alerts you if I'm ever in trouble, I want pollutant and air quality sensors integrated, I want it to whistle a beautiful woodwind pitch depending on how fast I spin it and lastly, I want you and your brothers to sign it. Can you do that O' Masterful Donatello?" You question him smugly.

He licks his lips and nods. "Uh...yeah, yeah, yes certainly," he begins. You release your grip allowing him to once again tower over you.

"Great, I expect the full benefit of Donatello quality genius." Your heart again skips a beat.

Donnie looks to the side, his grin unable to melt away.

"May I watch and talk to you while you work on it sometimes? You know, just to make sure you are getting everything right..." You add.

He looks back to you, he seems almost out of breath, "Uh, y-yeah," he squeaks out, "I'll get started right away. Y-you want to stay a while and watch?"

"I suppose I could make room in my schedule for that."

For the next few hours the lab is aglow with more than just LEDs and overhead lamps.

[foodandfolklore]

Kitchen Basics and Essentials

Earlier I made a quick list of Kitchen Witch Essentials, and planned to expand on it later. However, my list was made with the assumption that you have the basics to cook with. So, I figured I'd go over them to ensure we're all on the same page moving forward.

I am not a professionally trained chef. I'm just a Canadian home cook who's had an interest in cooking since young. Not everything I think is important, other home cooks will think is important. But I think we can agree on about 90% of what I list.

Utensils

Knives. Any list about Kitchen essentials, the Chef's knife will be right at the top. But you'll actually need 2, maybe 3 knives. The chef's knife, as mentioned, or just a main working knife. It's knife used for cutting up everything from meat to veggies to garnish. If you prefer to use a Chinese Cleaver, go for it. Your second knife you should have is a paring knife. Basically a small knife. It's good for more delicate work like eyeing potatoes, cutting up berries, stuff like that. Now most people will tell you, that's all the knives you really need, but I recommend one more. Particularly if you are going to get into bread making. A serrated knife like a bread knife. It is so hard to cut bread with a flat edge, because you end up squishing it. The serrated knife will cut crusty bread without issue.

Pots and Pans. I think it's fair to assume you have at least two pots and a pan or skillet. You can boil pasta and cook sauce at the same time with the option to fry an egg if you wanted to.

Cutting Board. Protect your surfaces and your knives and use your cutting board! I see you quickly chopping up veggies on a plate. Having multiple cutting boards can be quite useful for when you are preparing something like meat. I like to use a plastic cutting board to do most of my meat cutting on so it can be easily put in my dishwasher when done.

Vegetable Peeler. There's a lot of different kinds of peelers. Some are fancy, some can turn vegetables into noodles, some are electric; I'm just talking the basic hand held vegetable peeler. It does a lot without taking up much space.

Measuring Cups and Spoons. Super important to have if you're following directions from another recipe. As you get more experience, you'll find yourself measuring every ingredient less and less. But if you're baking, or trying something new, measure.

Mixing Bowl. Your cereal bowls are only going to get you so far. A mixing bowl can hold Salads, marinating meat, pancake batter- just not at the same time. If you enjoy baking, you will want more than one.

Baking Trays. Ideally two of these. Most known for cookies, but used for roasting all kinds of things in the oven. It's also good to put one in under the rack of something that drips while cooking. Lasagna is bad for this. Catching the falling food on a baking tray makes clean up way easier.

Appliances

Stove. Doesn't matter if it's gas, electric, induction; how many heating elements you have; I'm assuming you have a stove.

Oven. Since most stoves are built into an oven, I am going to assume you also have an oven. I know not every place is allowed to have one, but chances are if you're interested in Kitchen witchcraft, you have access to these things.

Microwave. These days, they are everywhere. Some apartments will be built with a kitchenet which has no stove, but definitely a microwave. These are super helpful, melting butter, defrosting ingredients, while being very safe.

Fridge/Freezer. The modern standard of food preservation. Every home that consumes perishables has at lest one; and it's not uncommon for a large family to have more than one fridge or freezer.

Also

Salt. If you're cooking, you're gunna need salt. Especially if you're going down the route of Kitchen Witchcraft. Not a lot; I got excited one time and bought like 5 different kinds of salt. I'll probably be dead before I use it all. You don't need a bunch or even fancy salts. Just get a box of salt; Kosher, Sea, Pink, whatever. Even the finely ground iodize salt will work.

Oven Mitts. Pulling stuff out of the oven is hot! Protect yourself from burns.