#there’s like three different girls i was friends with as a kid and drifted apart from like. ages ago | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewonandonly · 2 years

Text

save your tears — lee minho

bully!minho (stray kids) x afab!reader

genre ;; angst, fluff

word count ;; 13,375 words

warnings ;; high school!au, friends-to-enemies-to-lovers!au, cliché themes, strong language, slice of life(?), mentions of bullying (physical and emotional), ooc!chaeryeong, chaeryeong has a bit of ocd, anxiety mention, depersonalization, anaphylactic shock mention (fish), kick to the jaw (assault), reader has both parents, mother mention, principal/headmaster visit, tense family relationship.

playlist: spotify

Lee Minho. He’s the most popular boy in school: he’s as smart as a whip, as funny as a bumblebee and handsome as if Aphrodite sculpted him from clay herself. Minho had friends all over the school, in different grades and status. The teachers loved him, his peers loved him. Except one — except you. Minho and you have been in the same class since before you two could walk. Once upon a time, you used to be best friends, living in the same neighborhood and playing in the dirt while you chased him with a worm you plucked out. But his interests didn't align with your own anymore and you both drifted apart.

The geeky kid who used to wear thick framed glasses and was deathly afraid of worms and other insects didn't exist anymore. He switched to contacts, around middle school. and he could hold a ladybug, no problem, even chasing the other girls in the class with them. You still remember seeing that sight and feeling left out by him.

By the time the two of you were in high school, the wavelength was completely off — Minho hung out with a big, popular circle, the crowd everyone wanted to be apart of. and you hung out by yourself. With two or three of your friends you made in middle school. You missed him being your right-hand man and vice versa. But, what you missed even more than having him around, was him treating you like any normal person. When he saw you in the hallway, he’d either do three things: 1) he’d stare you down with the blandest look on his face until you got uncomfortable and stared down at your feet, this usually happens if he’s too far away to do anything physical. 2) he’d give you a flat tire, and watch you stumble at the pressure on the back of your shoe. This normally happens when there’s a lot of people around. He’d always give a half-assed smile and apology that you knew wasn’t real. 3) If it was just him and his friends in the hallway, he’d trip you, especially if you have books or you're looking down at your phone. It was something that always made him and a select few of his friends burst out laugh. Because of the stone glossed floor, you’d often get a friction burn, leaving you to return to the nurse’s office characteristically for the sixth time that week. How’d this happen, the male nurse would ask you as he applied anti-inflammatory cream to the burn, and there was always a voice in the back of your head, whispering, he’s only doing this to make his friend’s laugh. And, you believed it. And you’d come up with a totally unbelievable lie, such as “I tripped over my shoelace.” When the white shoelaces were completely clean, or “I tripped over air.” When clumsiness wasn’t something you were plagued with. And the nurse believed you.

You’d find yourself making up pathetic excuses for Minho, when you knew those weren’t the case. Minho would purposefully turn up the heat on your Bunsen burner, so the chemical goes spilling over, or he’s adding an extra five minutes to your egg timer in Home Ec, so the eggs burn. Or, he distracts the teacher to steal your scantron and throw your answers in the trash for a math test. You’d tell yourself, “I accidentally hit the valve,” or, “I accidentally turned up the timer,” or, “It must’ve slipped out.” You’d even relayed those excuses onto your teachers. Something inside you told you that if you keep making these excuses, maybe Minho would return to your side, he’d see how loyal you were and he’d be your best friend again.

The Winter Ball was approaching, and fast. On December 31, the ball would extend past midnight to New Years Day. It was a popular event at your school, one that your classmates prepared months before the day actually came. Girls would reserve their dresses, testing out different foundation and setting powder or spray for the longest wear time, that they could wear from 5:30pm to midnight. Boys reserved their tuxedos and made plans for transportation long before. Couples already decided the matching colors and the corsage and boutonniere to match one another, to recognize one another in a crowd. Single folks often attended, some even finding a date halfway through the night to share a New Year’s kiss. Couples were on the ballots for Winter Court, the equivalent of Prom Queen and Prom King, as well as a write-in area, where you can write in your friends name as a joke. You were excited, you already had a wonderful dress reserved just at the last minute, and your new driver’s license would come in handy at such a time.

Standing in the hallway, you pinned up a Winter Ball poster, smiling at it softly. Being in charge of Winter Ball preparations and advertisement definitely had it’s perks. Sitting on the collapsable chair, you placed out the clipboards with the ballots along them. Submitting your ballots was always encouraged, but they were still able to do it at the ball whenever they wanted, so long as it wasn’t past midnight.

You nodded, standing from the metal chair, “I thought doing something other than adding fake snow everywhere would be better for everyone.” You chuckled softly.

Chaeryeong was your friend that you met in middle school. You both bonded over how much you despised your math teacher that year, and instantly became friends. She was bubbly, and damn near perfect. It was amazing how she decided to go to Winter Ball alone despite all the others asking her out. If you recall, her response was, “I want to enjoy my night with my friend.” Before she connected her arm with yours and walked you both off to the gym where you, her and six others helped to raise the giant christmas tree you got.

“Need any help?” She grabbed a pen and began to scribble down a coiled mark next to a couple’s name, “I can flag people down here.” Placing the pen back in the holder, she folded the page and passed it to you.

“If you’d like to help, that would be appreciated.” You smiled, dropping the ballot into the giant red box beside your seat. “Heaven knows I need it.”

“I got you!” She wrapped her hands around her bags strap and dashed down the hallway, yelling something along the lines of, “Submit your ballots for Winter Ball by the North Entrance.”

Smiling softly, you silently wondered how she didn’t bite her tongue while running. Sitting back down on the seat, you greeted all who submitted a ballot, noticing some even voting for or writing in themself. And when they’d pass you the ballot to drop in the box, you’d pass them a candy cane, bidding them a good day, seeing them smile as they began to suck on it.

You sat there for the remainder of the morning, packing everything back up and hurrying to class once the warning bell rang. You pushed open the door and sat in the classroom for the next three hours, absorbing the information like a sponge.

Lunch arrived quickly. The hallway filled with students, many walking one way or the other.

“Chaeryeong!” You waved to your friend, who stopped in front of you with a bag thrown over her shoulder, “Ready for lunch?”

She nodded, “Yup.” Chaeryeong wrapped her arm with yours, “I hope we get there before the rush.”

“Me too. I really want some of that salad.” You rubbed your stomach, opening the cafeteria doors for your friend and yourself. There was a strong tension in the air — as there was every lunch. The “battlefield” was split in two: Popular folks on one end and the regular folks on the other.

Chaeryeong guided you over to a table by the doors, “What would you define as a popular person?” She mumbled, setting her bag on the table.

You sat there for a moment, digging through your bag to find your wallet, “Someone who's well known. Reputation doesn't matter. Bad publicity is still publicity.” The response was one you thought of a lot. “Although, I don't understand why someone would want to be popular in school. All of that falls away after graduation.” You shrugged, pulling the wallet out, “Found it.” You nodded to Chaeryeong and walked towards the line for lunch.

The doors opened beside your bag and Minho strolled in — Changbin, and Jisung in tow. It was like time stopped inside of the cafeteria while time continued to tick on the outside.

“Here comes those bastards.” Chaeryeong whispered, leaning against the wall as she picked at the chipped nail polish on her fingernails.

Nodding stiffly, you watched them as they walked across the room and sat at the table they regularly sat at. Minho sat beside Irene, his girlfriend for four months — who also happened to be one of your best friends in the past — and kissed her cheek, a goofy smile crossing his lips. And you couldn't help the small smile that stretched your lips once you saw his silly one, looking away.

Chaeryeong looked at you, “Are you okay? What are you smiling at?”

Really, there wasn't anything wrong with wanting your ex-best friend to be happy after your crazy adventures come to a stop, and you wanted to say so, but all that got past your lips was “Thought of something funny.” Chaeryeong and you grabbed your lunches, much to your dismay, the salads were all gone, so you grabbed something small — a chicken burger. When the lunch lady rang you up, and you both paid, you returned to your table, sitting down.

On what, you asked yourself. Standing up, you noticed the entire back of your skirt covered in chocolate, a crushed brownie on the seat. You went red in the cheeks, dizzy in the head.

“What? What’s wrong?” Chaeryeong leaned across and looked at the seat, gasping, “They put an entire lava cake brownie on your seat!”

You quaked, “Chaeryeong, do you have a coat I can borrow?” Your teeth were clenched.

As much as you made excuses for your former friend, it was nerve wracking for it to happen so often.

Chaeryeong pulled out a blue sweater, and you quickly tied it around your waist, “I’ll be back.” You mumbled and walked out of the cafeteria, your eyes glancing back at Minho across the room, watching everything happening.

You gave him a blunt smile, and stalked your way to the office. Pushing open the door, you shyly asked for a new skirt to replace the one you had on.

The receptionist was always kind, and she pulled out a replacement skirt, “What happened to the one you’re wearing now?” She asked sweetly.

No more excuses, you thought to yourself, It's time to stand up for yourself, clearing your throat, you shrugged, “Lee Minho. He’s been tormenting me for years.”

“Is that so? Lee Minho is always so sweet. It couldn't be him.” The receptionist shrugged as she typed away on the computer, “Are you sure it isn't someone else? You know, boys are mean to girls they like. It couldn't be Lee Minho, do you have any proof?”

You stood there, gaping: Proof? Other than the last four years of my life? Opening your wallet in a huff, you grumbled out a “how much is it?” Only for the receptionist to pass a receipt across the counter and advise you to visit the bookkeeper — who was all the way on the other side of campus.

Holding in a groan until you exit the office, you go to the restroom and quickly change your skirt, wincing at the brownie staining the fabric of your other. You take a look in the mirror, wetting a paper towel and clean off as much as you can of the brownie on the back of your thighs.

You took a moment to look yourself in the mirror. As much as you loved Minho, he was like a brother to you, this was a breach of your brother-from-another-mother, sister-from-another-mister contract. Sure, brothers prank their sisters, but was it really this bad? Wasn't this just hatred? You felt your eyes water as you looked at yourself deeper. There was cinched hair from the time Minho turned on the Bunsen burner without you knowing — that was a dark day. Emotional turmoil from all the teacher visits and calls, meaning your mother would corner you and ask why your grades were so bad. Your legs were bruised and tattered to how often you were tripped. You had stitches on your chin from the one time you busted said chin from being tripped. No one except Chaeryeong visited.

By the time you finished examining yourself in the mirror, you hated yourself too. The girl you knew would've been brave and told Minho what she actually thought, what she actually wanted to say. But, you’ve curled back into a shell, one you didn't know you had. Irene had left Chaeryeong and you, who’s to say Chaeryeong wouldn't leave you either?

Folding the skirt with a sniff and throwing the jacket over your arm, you headed towards the bookkeeper, paying the 15 dollars for the skirt and back to the cafeteria. There was a whisper among the air and you felt out of place.

Chaeryeong squatted on the ground, wiping the seat off with a napkin, “Welcome back.” She smiled.

“Hi.” You nodded, “I’ll wash this for you.” You lifted the coat, swinging it.

“Alright.” She hummed, “How much was the skirt?”

“15 dollars.” You sat on the seat beside the chocolate violated seat, digging in your backpack to pull out a piece of paper.

“That makes it one… hundred and 3 dollars, 65 cents.” She nodded.

Normally, keeping track of your expenses wasn't something you did — you didn't take money as seriously as you should — but the list you had was all from that month. With how often these pranks frequent, you decided to keep track of all the expenses that you spend and lose, considering you get paid once every two weeks. And when you and Minho get close again, you’d hang this debt over his head for however long it takes him to pay it off, either through payment or deeds.

“Do you know how much it would be as a total?” You tapped the pen against your chin.

Chaeryeong looked up, thinking for a moment. You could see the gears grind in her head as she calculated the difference, “In the last four years, five hundred 36 dollars and 12 cents.”

You clicked your tongue and scribbled the total. “He’s going over the average this month.” You clicked the pen closed and put the paper back into it’s safe space. “Ah, I don't even want to eat now. Who knows what they did while I was away?”

“They didn't do anything. You should eat.” She threw away the napkin, grabbed another and applied water to scrub it, “It's not like I’d let them do anything anyhow.”

“Thank you.” You ignored the feeling in your gut and pulled your tray towards yourself and began to eat the burger, a mouthful of seafood filling your nose. You spit the food out, and gaped, “There's fish in this.”

“Huh?”

“There's fish in my burger. My chicken burger.” You wiped your hands on your own napkin, “I thought you said they didn't do anything to my food.”

“They didn't.”

“How long have you been cleaning?” You looked at her, “Did you leave at all?” You questioned Chaeryeong, who sat on her knees as she began to scritch at the brownie in the crevices of the seat.

“Well,” she began, “Ever since you left the seat, I started cleaning it. And I only left to get napkins. But it's right there!” She defended herself, pointing at the despenser. “I didn't see them at all!”

“Chaeryeong.” You groaned, “Did you turn away from the table at any point?”

“Some of the napkins got stuck so I turned around for a second but I turned right back!”

You curled your fingers into your hair, pushing the meal away, “Great. Now my lunch is ruined, I lost 18 dollars today.” You grabbed the slip of paper again, scribbling down the added 3 dollars.

Chaeryeong looked down, “I’m sorry. I really tried to watch it.”

You turned towards her, shaking your head, “No. It's not your fault. If they just acted like decent people, this wouldn't have happened.” You patted her head, “I know how you get with cleaning.” You smiled at her, “I think the school should start paying you instead of the janitor.”

“They should, shouldn't they?”

The long, and very traumatic, lunch ended and you grabbed your bag, “Come on. Let's go to class.” You gripped the tray and threw the trash away. Your hands felt numb, so you buried them under your shirt, tugging at your collar, “It's hot.”

“Are you kidding? It's 32 degrees out.” She shivered, “How are you hot?” Chaeryeong looked over at you, “Hey, Y/N, you’re sweating like crazy. Are you okay?”

“Fine.” You wheezed, “I feel fine.”

Chaeryeong stood there for a second, before her face dropped, “Oh, shit.” She whispered.

It felt like air was becoming scarce. Like you have to be careful with every breath you take. You had cottonmouth, and it was hard to swallow. You felt dizzy.

“Shit!” Chaeryeong dragged you along to the nurse’s office, “Are you okay, Y/N? Do you have your EpiPen?”

You nodded, “In my bag.” You talked past your swelling tongue as she brought you into the nurse’s office.

“Why didn't you say she was allergic to seafood!” A voice whispered to Minho.

He looked at the two anxiously, “I didn't know!” He mumbled, “She didn't have that when we were kids.” He turned to Irene, “You should’ve told me.”

“I thought you knew!” She defended, “Why do you even bother bullying her anymore? It's no fun.” Irene grumbled, burying her face into the scarf.

Jisung’s hand clenched his hair, the beanie on his head flying up, “Oh, god. She’s gonna die and we’re gonna be murderers! She’s gonna die.”

“She’s not gonna die. You're so overdramatic.” Changbin mumbled, “They’re heading to the nurse's office now. They should be able to give her the EpiPen.”

“Let's just go.” Irene began to walk off, Changbin and Jisung following, Minho trailing on after a gaze at the two entering the office.

After the uncomfortable few moments where you couldn't breathe, talk or think, the swelling of your tongue was going down, your airways began to return to normal and the sweat disappeared. You laid on the bed in the nurse's office, staring at the ceiling.

Chaeryeong sat on a chair, looking at you, “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“Not your fault.” You chuckled, “It's good to go into anaphylactic shock every once in a while. You know, for my immune system?”

Chaeryeong gave you a look, “This isn't time to be joking! Imagine what would've happened if you didn't have your EpiPen on you!”

“I always have my EpiPen on me.” You rolled your eyes, rolling onto your side, “You should get to class. I’ll be there soon.” You nodded at her.

“Are you sure?” She asked warily.

“Yes. Go.” You nodded.

Chaeryeong grabbed her bag at her side and zipped up her coat, “I’ll see you at Winter Ball prep.”

“Bye.” You waved, and returned to lay on your back.

Had it really been so long that Minho forgot about my seafood allergy, you questioned, It's only been 4 years.

The door was pushed open, and you lifted your head to glance at whoever walked inside.

But, when you speak of the devil, he shall appear. And the devil oddly looked like Minho. He nodded to the nurse and even held his stomach in faux pain, walking stiffly over to the bed next to you.

The nurse left the room not a second later. And Minho, who not even laid down an entire two seconds ago, sat up and walked around to your bed, sitting on the edge.

You had a certain anxiety boil in your chest as soon as he entered the room, and there was a settling tension that could easily be cut with a knife. You were sure something was coming, yet you weren't sure what.

“How ya feeling?” He asked softly, as if he wasn't the cause for the anaphylactic shock you experienced, probably the worst one of your life.

It came crashing over you like a wave: the anger, the frustration and the second pair of eyes you had on your back. Why you? Why were you his sole target? Why was he like this in the first place? What happened to him that made him a cruel, even bully?

Minho dedicated his four years of high school to making your life a living hell. What he didn't expect was you to retaliate. And he definitely didn't expect you to kick his ass.

After such a dumb and idiotic prank he pulled, you were in the nurse’s office, resting on the bed, and you knew, before Minho could even get comfortable and apologize for the torment he inflicted upon you, you met your foot to his face, sending him to the ground. The anxiety and panic you were plagued with seemed to leave your body the second you saw him.

You glared down at him, your eyes sharped and curled with your fists, “You messed with the wrong person, dickhead.” It slipped past your lips like velvet, and you didn't even recognize your own voice.

Minho rubbed his cheek where your foot met, and looked up at you, “What are you gonna do?”

“I don't know yet. But all I know is that I was made for this.” You leaned forward, your eyebrows creasing, “When i speak about everything you've done, you should know my words are true. The school, no — the world — will know of what you’ve done.”

Minho’s eyes narrowed, and he stood up. He was a bit taller than you, but you could still look him in the eyes, “You think just because one person says something they’ll believe it?”

“It's not one person. It's two — three if i can convince Irene.” You crossed your arms, “You aren't the only one who’s sly, Minho.”

Minho chuckled softly, his tongue prodding at his cheek, “Clearly.”

You noticed his cheek swelling as he ran his hand over it, “You’ve bullied me for the last time, Lee Minho.” The declaration was bold, strong and Minho clearly stood there, shook to his core.

You’ve always been one to avoid conflict, Minho noted, but this was an entirely new Y/N, one he has never seen. It confused him, on how the same girl at the beginning of their high school career who easily calmed down two boys before they threw fists at one another could have kicked him in the jaw just a second ago.

With your fists curled and Minho holding his swollen cheek, the sight before anyone could clearly show the relationship you had with the boy across from you.

“What is going on here?” The nurse called, his feet shoulder length apart, clearly upset and examining the situation, “Miss Y/N, did you injure Minho?” He approached and you stepped away, your anger settling as anxiety filled you. You stammered, trying to come up with a proper excuse, but all that could come out was a small “he started it.”

The nurse checked Minho’s cheek, giving the boy an ice pack, looking at you with shifty eyes, “This could get you in serious trouble, Miss Y/N.”

And it did. The nurse sent you to the office, making a call to the secretary, who called your own mother. Sitting in the office, bouncing your leg as you took in a deep breath, already holding back tears. You seriously messed up, you really, really, really, messed up. Being on thin ice with your parents was already dangerous, but when they find out you physically assaulted a boy — Not just any boy, your childhood friend and neighbor — You’d be in bigger trouble than you thought. You’d be dead. You shouldn’t be here in the office after 4 years of torment from Lee Minho, after 4 years of anxiety in your chest when you passed him in the hallway, and 4 years of absolute hatred. Your high school years were destroyed because of one person, the one person who knew all your weaknesses, the one person you trusted to keep those hidden. And yet, no one believed you enough to say whether or not he did destroy your highschool years.

The office door opened and your mother walked in, the lines already settling into her face as she looked over at you, disappointment evident in her eyes. You could feel it radiating off of her. Burying your head in your hands, you sighed, feeling tears well in your eyes.

“Mrs. L/N, thank you for coming.” The receptionist greeted, “Principal Jung will be right with you.” Looking over at you, the receptionist sighed, “This is the second time she’s been in here. She came in blathering about Lee Minho and him taunting her.”

Your mother didn't say anything, and turned to look at you as well.

You shifted uncomfortably in the chair feeling their eyes on you. Please, stop looking, you whined to yourself.

The receptionist continued, “I told her that's not possible. He's such a sweet student and he's so smart.”

Humming, your mother began to sign the visitor list, “Yes, I know. We've been close to the Lee family for years. It's hard to believe an absurd rumor like that.” She smiled stiffly at the receptionist, moving to sit beside you, her legs crossed and arms across her chest, “Get all your excuses out now.”

You looked at your mother, eyes red and your lips almost purple from the previous anaphylactic shock you went through, “Excuses?” You almost glared, “You think I’m lying about this? You think I’m lying?”

“What would Minho gain from taunting you?”

“He’s not just taunting me, Mom. He's tormenting me.” Your voice cracked, your emotions pulling through like sled dogs dragging a musher through the snow, “He has been for 4 years.”

“You didn't answer my question.”

“I don't know what he’d gain. But, whatever it is, he really wants it.” You crossed your arms, the anger bubbling with every second.

“Mrs. L/N, it's a pleasure to see you again. Although, we're here for an entirely different reason rather than a citizenship award.” Principal Jung greeted your mother, giving you a look, “Follow me along to my office.”

Throwing your bag over your shoulder, you followed behind both adults.

The principal's office was right behind the receptionist’s desk, two seats in front of her desk, “Now, let's get into the situation. Miss Y/N here assaulted Mr. Minho when he was visiting the nurse’s office for a stomach cramp.” She used the mouse to click on the computer, going through the emails from the nurse. “There are two sides of every story, and I’d love to hear Miss Y/N’s.”

You took in a deep breath, going over the last 4 years of your educational career: The physical abuse, the emotional torture. Spreading weird rumors about you, tripping you in the hall. Strategically hiding seafood in a chicken burger and causing you to go into the worst anaphylactic shock you’ve experienced. You even pulled out the 10 pages filled with wasted money and the exact cause behind them. Tattered skirt — Minho found a stray string and let you walk until the skirt was much shorter than the requirement in your second year. $15.25. School supplies — Minho and Changbin stole them and dumped them in the upstairs boy's bathroom, not only causing you to lose the Summer final study guide of your first year, but also causing a giant flooding to close off the bathroom, both upstairs and downstairs (due to water damage above a stall). $120, not including the fifty dollars of ink you had to buy to reprint the study guide. And you couldn't forget the unreplaceable earrings you received from Chaeryeong on your birthday that you wore to school, only for Minho to kick a soccer ball a bit too hard right into your face, the earring tearing through your lobe, leaving an unforgiving scar and bloody nose.

In every retelling, you could recall your mother's not so subtle eye roll or scoff. Although she didn't believe it, you could see the principal nod her head as she half-listened.

“Although, this may be true, we have zero tolerance for physical altercations. We have zero evidence that this may be true, but we have evidence that you did assault Minho.”

“What?”

“Due to this, we're going to place you on a two day suspension and your tickets to the Winter Ball be refused at the door. I’m afraid your citizenship award will also be revoked, due to this behavior.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Y/N, but you should've thought about this before you hurt one of your fellow classmates.” She typed away on the computer, “Unless you can gather witnesses, these are the terms.”

“Call in Lee Chaeryeong in class 4-C. She can vouch for me!” You looked at the woman across the desk, in disbelief this was happening.

Your mother scoffed, “Chaeryeong is your best friend, who’s to say that she won't cover for you?”

Your brows were frustratedly furrowed together, your anger seeping over, “This is ridiculous.” You sighed.

“If you had been tormented for so many years, why didn't you let someone know sooner?”

“Because my mother clearly doesn't believe me. Who knows what my dad thinks? This school is protecting him, and I, as the victim, get two day suspension and I’m unable to attend the Winter Ball.”

“I think that's all for now.” Your mother stood up, “Thank you for your time, Principal Jung. I apologize for my daughter's negligence.” She bowed deeply, “Let's go, Y/N.” She wandered over to the door and opened it for you.

You grabbed your bag, dragging it in your hand and out the office doors, stomping your way to the passenger door of the car.

You have never felt so… so angry, so disrespected and so abused.

You had every single right to be upset at your mother, at the school, and at Minho. None of this would have happened if the… fucker just told you what his issue was with you.

Every single memory in your mind of him suddenly burnt up in the fictional flame, his face scratched out like a lottery ticket and torn up like a cat using a scratching post. When your mother unlocked the door, you pulled open the passenger door with all your might, you were sure that the door was going to fly off.

She climbed in just after you, setting her purse on the jockey box, “I can't believe you would make up such a rumor like that.” She scolded, “And that fake list.”

“Make up? Rumor?” You had to pull back your voice, “You think I wanted to blow all my money on 16 different skirts in my school years? That I wanted to spend 536 dollars and 12 cents?I don't even get that much on my paycheck, Mom!”

“Cut the bullshit.” Her voice was different than when she was speaking to the Principal and the receptionist. No, she was furious, but her fury could never match yours, “When we get home, you’re going to apologize to the Lee family for what you did.”

“No. I’m not apologizing to him.” You glared, “I’m not. Why should I apologize for finally sticking up for myself? Why should I apologize for going into anaphylactic shock when they're the ones who put seafood in my chicken burger!”

“You are going to.” She turned on the car, pulling out of the parking spot, “Two day suspension. What would your father say?”

“Probably the same thing you did.” You mumbled, staring out the window with your hand against your head, “I should've never said anything.” You whispered more to yourself than anyone, but your mother still heard you, although not paying any mind.

The neighborhood you lived in wasn't as lively as it used to be. It became one that a lot of older people moved into due to the quiet nature and lack of foot traffic. Stray animals often wandered through to find comfort for the evening. Parking in the driveway, before your mother could even turn off the car, you exited the vehicle and entered the house, kicking off your shoes and stomped up to your room. You pushed open the door, throwing your bag onto the floor.

Your window was open, which ironically peered into Minho’s room.

Sitting on your bed, you recalled staying up way past your bedtime with him to communicate through stringed cups and drawings on your notepads. And up until 4 years ago, he used to throw rocks from his succulent planter at your window in the middle of the night if he was having a particular hard time sleeping. But now, you look at the window with anger, disdain. You hated it. You hated him.

Grabbing the string to the blinds, you gave one final look into the room, Minho asleep on his bed (as he got picked up early from school due to the situation) and shut the blinds, that your mother opened for an unknown reason.

Your phone chimed, and you glanced at it, seeing a text from Chaeryeong, asking what the verdict was. Giving a brief synopsis, you opened your laptop, and typed in the social media handle, his social media handle. You had followed him on social media up until this exact moment for the same reason you were unfollowing him: an impossible change of heart. You wanted to keep him on your close friends list in case he had come to the realization that you were a catch, that you were a good friend. But now, you know it wasn't possible.

You and Chaeryeong kept the text thread going up until it was time for her to give up her phone to her parents.

You leaned back in your desk chair, sighing softly.

Two day suspension, you thought, Couldn't be so bad. Sure, it goes on my record, but, it's like a break, isn't it? You nodded to yourself, already enjoying the time to yourself.

Who needs a shitty Winter Ball when I can have my own in my room?

The thoughts you had varied. You were home, alone, for 2 days. You were excited. Then you got upset as your suspension ended the day before the ball, and you already had everything you needed for the evening. Then angry again. And you could have had more time to gather your thoughts and emotions and really understand them, if it wasn't for the tapping on your window.

You jumped when you first heard it. And you even began to wonder if it was raining. Rolling your chair to the window, you opened the blinds.

The person you definitely didn't want to see even if the world was ending sat across from your window, his cheek significantly less swollen and dropped the rocks back into the planter. Grabbing the notepad beside him, he showed it to you.

“What happened? Like you care.” You scoffed to yourself, and grabbed your own to scribble down a straightforward message, tearing off a piece of tape to tape it onto the window.

Minho chuckled, “I hate you, huh? How cliché.”

You closed the blinds again, leaving the paper there before turning back to your laptop.

You’d be receiving work from your teacher's, and you were sure that the work sent would be harder, considering you're going to miss 2 days worth of lessons.

The world could send what it wanted at you, you were ready to look at the face of it all with unwavering strength. After all, if you learned anything in your mythology class, it's that Icarus laughed as he fell.

You slept in late the next morning, only for your mother to wake you up with the pull of the blinds string. You haven't spoken to her since you were in the car with her, so you just sat up without any repercussions.

Rubbing your eyes with your hand, you caught sight of the paper still taped to the window, chuckling to yourself.

Minho pulled on a sweater, still dressed in his pajamas, holding an ice pack against his cheek and eye with one hand as he scrolled through his phone with the other. You couldn't help but smile to yourself.

You remember that sweater — You had bought it for him in eighth grade. He was upset that everyone was getting something from the aquarium gift shop, so you decided to give it to him, yourself settling for a small plush of a penguin. He loved it when you gave it to him. He didn't take it off for a month.

You could see the imaginary torn, burned and scratched out memory reappear in your mind, and your smile was ripped away from your face.

No, no, you hate him, you shook your head, running your fingers through your hair.

A soft chime.

Minho: You’re staring.

The message was all you needed to stand up and close the blinds, making your way to the bathroom. There were three or four chimes from your phone and you noted to yourself that you’ll check them when you got back, at least one of them should be from Chaeryeong.

Drying your hands off after using the restroom and brushing your teeth, you tapped your phone screen, four obnoxious messages covering your screen, all from Minho.

Minho: Don't close the blinds.

Minho: I hope you know I’m sorry.

Minho: I really don't have an explanation for what I did.

Minho: What if I told you I could get you into the Winter Ball.

Now that sounded interesting.

Y/N: Tell me.

Minho: On one condition, you go with me like nothing happened.

You clicked your tongue, furrowing your brows and locked your phone.

Y/N: I’d rather be dragged through every layer of Dante’s Inferno and rot.

Typing in the password to your laptop, you opened your email, finding over 15 emails from your teachers — why they sent so many assignments, you’d never know.

Although you tried to ignore the devil next door, the text message showed up in the notification bar on your laptop.

Minho: Alright. You don't have to go with me. And you can still hold your grudge for me. You can hang it over my head for however many years.

Clicking the “x” hovering over the message, another one chimed through.

Minho: If you come to the gymnasium at 6:30, I’ll let you in through the back door.

“X”

Minho: You don't deserve to have your Winter Ball torn away from you because Principal Jung didn't believe you.

“X”

Minho: I’m sorry, for what it's worth. I hope we can be friends again.

That’s it, you clicked the message, typing out a long message as follows: “Your apology as it is now means jackshit to me. For the entirety of my high school year, I had to live in fear of you. Nothing can make up for that, except perhaps for the 530 dollars you owe me in expenses. Friendship comes at an expensive price with me, and you threw it away as if it was worthless. If you want me to forgive you, admitting to what you did and taking the proper punishment for it might fit well. Until you grow a pair, do not talk to me, do not text me, and definitely do not throw rocks at my window.”

You were pretty proud with the message, and you turned back to your work, thoughtlessly scribbling down the notes shared with you, and completed the online work assigned.

And when the 15 assignments of the day were finished, you settled down on your bed, your thoughts finally returning to your head. He wants to be friends again, you couldn't ignore the gentle smile crossing your lips, before you shook it off. That ship sailed just yesterday, you reminded yourself. But no matter how many times you shook it off, it kept returning to your face.

He really wants to be friends again.

It repeated in your head, and no matter how many you tried to make it stop, it wouldn't. It stuck to you like glue, and you rolled around onto your bed, burying your idiotic smile into the pillow, glancing at the window.

You waited 4 years for this, for him to finally admit that he wanted to be friends again. And although you were in the position you were in now, you felt like maybe that's what tipped the iceberg. Maybe he caused all these problems just for you to fight back, for you to prove yourself.

“Y/N, dinner's ready.” Your father knocked.

It was the only time he actually spoke to you since yesterday, and it was three words. Standing up from your bed, and headed down the stairs.

I wonder what's for dinner, you thought, Probably steak again. Dad always—

Getting pulled from your thoughts, you noticed three extra pairs of eyes on you: the Lee family.

Cursing to yourself, you rubbed your head, greeting the family, giving Minho a sideways glance.

“I considered since you weren't going to go over, I’d ask them to dinner here.” Your mother sat at the head of the table, your father at the other end. Minho and you were seated next to each other with his parents straight across from you two.

It was nerve wracking. Tension was high and clearly uncomfortable for everyone.

Despite you being dressed in your pajamas — short shorts and a sweater — you did assault the boy beside you, and his parents watched you like a hawk. Every move you made, they analyzed it and watched. Every bite into the food, every breath, or every shiver. You felt imprisoned in your own home.

Your mother set her chopsticks down, turning to look at you, “Don't you have something to say?” She picked up the wine glass, filled with what you assumed was chardonnay, and took a small sip.

You shrugged gently, “Are you going to believe it if I say it?”

“Depends on what you're going to say.”

You sighed, “Alright.” Setting your own chopsticks down, you smiled at the Lee family across from you, “Your son has been tormenting me for 4 years.” Looking at your mother, you pretended to feign innocence, “Is that all?”

“How dare you?” Your mother glared at you.

Minho cleared his throat, “If I may,” He smiled gently, wiping his face with his napkin, “Mrs. L/N, I appreciate the sentiment, but she isn't lying.” He mumbled.

The entire table's mouth gaped — including your mother's, who had a strong sense of pride in him being innocent. You began to pick around your food, eating whatever didn't seem too tough for you.

Minho began to explain, although you weren't really listening. And when he finished, he looked at you with his black and blue eye, almost as if he was asking for your opinion.

You shook your head, going right back to eating your meal.

“I think…” Your father started, “we own you an apology, Y/N.” He mumbled, so desperately upset he had even doubted your word.

Wiping your mouth, you stood up, “It's okay.” And left the table, walking back up the steps to your bedroom.

Minho thought this was his redemption arc, but you wanted the school to see him as he was. A conniving, self centered bully.

Pulling down the sheets to your bed, you shut your blinds and laid down to sleep the next day away.

Downstairs, your mother and father awkwardly excused the table, collecting the plates and seeing the family out. They entered the house doubting every word you said, only to leave doubting everything their own son said.

Their own son. The one they raised to be a perfect gentleman, the one they raised to treat everyone with respect no matter what.

When they arrived to the house next door, they sent the boy up to his room and informed him they’d be up there to talk to him in a moment. Obeying, Minho entered his bedroom, opening the window, only to see your blinds still closed, the reminder taped to your window.

I hate you, it read in your handwriting. And who was he to blame you? Because of what he did, he was facing the consequences. And he didn't realize how much he ruined the relationship you two had, all because he thought he was better than you.

The two of you were on the same level: academically and socially, once upon a time. And he was aware that every family compares the child to their friends, because they never see the real them.

But with his parents, it was the same conversation with everything: “Why can’t you be more like Y/N?” or “Why can't you do this like Y/N can?” They’d ask how you were doing before their own son. You were like their second child. They saw you in all your glory.

And he was sick of being compared to that glory. That's when he began to sneakily throw your test scantrons into the trash, or when he began to spread those disgusting rumors about you. He did all that out of envy. Of anger.

He understood the anger you felt when your parents wrongfully accused you of lying about what was happening. He wanted you to feel how he felt it.

But, with that, you had an award you worked hard for ripped from your grasp, suspension for assault listed on your permanent record, and of course, your Winter Ball stolen from you.

Sitting at his desk while his father scolded him, he noticed his mother taking his electronics: his cell phone and his gaming consoles. She left the laptop, but only after explaining that the only things open to him was school websites and everything was blocked.

They were disappointed in him once again.

He knew it wasn't enough for him to just admit it to his parents. He picked that up during dinner when you so much as gave him a glance. He’d have to do more. A lot more.

And he had just the plan.

The next day, despite your plan to sleep in, you woke up as if it was every other day and got to work on the assignment given by your teachers. It wasn't as bad as the day before, but it was still a lot. You went to bed without dinner that night.

You haven't spoken to Minho, however, you did relay his plan over to Chaeryeong, who agreed to help you. You both tried to come up with a convincing lie for your parents and you decided to say that Chaeryeong wasn't going, which leads to Chaeryeong sending you photos of her working on fake assignments, which makes you question what she's been doing for her having such good photos like those.

And when the Winter Ball D-Day arrived, you returned to school like it was nothing. The hallways were decorated with snowflakes and candy canes, groups chattering about how excited they were, what they were wearing and what they’d be arriving in. Although you were sneaking in, you felt left out. You didn't have anything exciting to converse with them.

“Vote for Winter Court! Last few hours before the box closes until this evening.” A voice called in the hallway, and you peeked down to see Irene waving the flyers around, stopping the passers to ask them to vote if they haven't.

Chaeryeong stopped beside you, “I didn't think I’d see that on the day of.” She held her bag straps, “Must be Winter Ball fever.”

Shrugging, you tightened your own bag straps, “Someone had to take over. I guess she was just the next best thing.”

“How do you like the decorations? I think we did a good job.”

Looking across the ceiling, you nodded, “It looks great.”

“I tried to stick as close to the plans as possible. And, I even volunteered to clean up after the ball ends.” She changed her shoes and followed you in, “Did you tell your parents what we decided on?”

“Yeah, they said it's fine.” You nodded, “They’ve been lenient since Minho fessed up.”

“I can't believe he did that.” Chaeryeong crossed her arms, pulling a face, “He should’ve done it sooner!” She threw her arms in the air, her brows furrowed.

Walking down the hall, Irene stopped you.

“Y/N.”

You jumped back, “Hi, Irene.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you're okay.” She hugged you tightly, smiling softly, “I didn't know how to react when you went into shock like that!”

You chuckled nervously, “Yeah…”

“Everyone's been talking about you!” Her eyes sparkled, “They're all happy someone finally stood up to Minho.”

“Alright. Back away from Y/N.” Chaeryeong had to lead her back to the table, “You can talk to her all you’d like after the Winter Ball.”

“Oh, did you vote, Chaeryeong? They added someone new onto the ballot.” Irene smiled.

“Yes, I did.” She patted the other girls head, “I’ll see you later.” Nodding to you, you both continued down the hallway until you reached the classroom.

“See you after school.” You and Chaeryeong shared your secret handshake before you both walked off to your respective classes.

It was so odd. When you sat down in class, everyone began to whisper, but it wasn't because of your tattered skirt, or the bandage around your head for the torn earlobe, or for your tear stained cheeks.

It was for how courageous you were to stand up to someone so cruel like Minho, how you were so brave.

Looking behind you, the small group of three: Minho, Jisung and Changbin — watched as the group gathered around your desk, as if you weren't invisible anymore. Awkwardly taking your seat, you smiled, the teacher stepping in just in time as you were getting claustrophobic.

And the entire day was like that. A relaxing class, a stressful passing period. Hell, they even gathered around you at lunch, while you ate the turkey sandwich your mother made you. They watched you like a hawk.

“So, are you going to the Winter Ball?” One of them asked.

You responded with a stiff, “No, I got banned.”

And then that gave the group something to chatter about: Banned? For kicking someone in the jaw? Banned? For sticking up for yourself? It looped around, making you question how the word got around school.

You finished your meal while they all questioned the school's moral compass, and you stood up to throw out the trash you collected from your box. And once the final bell rang, you sat back in your seat, cleaning up your desk to finish your studies for the day.

Dismissal from school was so much more odd: Some students decided to hang back in order to get ready, already finding themselves burrowing into the bathroom to stare into the mirror for the next 45 minutes while they patted on makeup and pulled on their dress.

Your two day suspension made you realize something. Teenagers hold physical experiences so much higher than the other kinds. They always think back to parties or dances and hold it up on a pedestal. Meanwhile, they have perfectly fun moments at home, yet they're decreased to nothing but a passing thought. If it wasn't for the 105 dollar collateral you placed on the dress for this evening, you would have to agree with your thoughts, but for now, you’d have to dance the night away like there was no tomorrow.

Chaeryeong stood beside your car, scrolling through her phone screen as she looked around for you. And when she saw you, she waved and smiled.

Unlocking the door, you sat down in the driver's seat with her in the passenger’s seat.

“So, good news.” She smiled, “Someone offered to help us tonight.”

“Who?” You started the car, buckling in your seatbelt.

“Let's just say that they're someone we haven't entirely enjoyed for the last 4 months, and that they just wanna make it up to us.”

You paused, turning to look at Chaeryeong. You would've been surprised at the girl who approached the window, if it would have been on your side, but instead, Irene gave a hearty “boo” through the window, Chaeryeong rolling down the window with narrowed eyes.

Irene pulled a face before she climbed into the backseat, “Hello.”

You smiled at her, “Finally joining the right side of history?”

“It's always good to do a little flip flopping now and then.” She shrugged, setting her bag down on the floor.

Chaeryeong looked at you, “Alright, so what's the plan?”

“You both walk in there like it's just you two, showing your tickets and everything. I’ll park my car at the park behind the school and sneak onto campus through the gate after 20 minutes, at 6:50. I’ll knock on the back door 5 times, and Chaeryeong, you open the door when you think the coast is clear.” Pulling out of the driveway, you drove towards Chaeryeong’s house, “That's pretty much it.”

“It feels like we're in a spy movie!”

Chaeryeong turned to look at the girl in the backseat, “What made you change your mind?”

“Well, I always knew Minho didn't like me around. And he just wanted to hit Y/N where it hurts.” She played with her fingernails, “I’m sorry I left you guys. If I’m being honest, spending time with those three is stressful! They're so dirty.”

You looked in the rearview mirror, smiling at Irene softly, “It's all cool, Irene. Everyone wants a taste of popular life.”

Pulling up to Chaeryeong’s house, the three of you grabbed your things and climbed out of the car. You had your dress thrown over your arm and your backpack hanging off your shoulder.

The scene of entering her home, too excited to greet her family and preparing for the night with gentle music in the background felt exactly like a 80’s movie. Scene-for-scene, Irene getting dressed in the closet as she chattered with Chaeryeong about what type of music she hoped they’d play and if she’d find the perfect person to dance to a slow song with. Chaeryeong pulled on her own dress, dusting a gentle blush on the apples of her cheeks and her nose, looking at you, who was nearly bending over backwards to tie the upper corset of the dress.

“Y/N, come sit down! Let me do your makeup!” She smiled, patting her bed, crossing her legs on the vanity chair.

“I don't know…” You mumble, “Last time you did my makeup for an outing, you made me look like that dragon from Shrek.” You laughed, teasing the girl.

Chaeryeong sputtered, “Fine, I promise I won't make you look like the dragon from Shrek, or any other freaky characters or whatever.” She patted the bed again.

You sat down, anxiously fidgeting with the skirt, going over the plan once more, including collateral damage in case a teacher is suspecting something, before you finally voiced your anxiety, “What if this is all a hoax?”

“What do you mean?” Irene swiped the lip gloss across her lips, popping them twice and cleaning the edge with her finger.

“With Minho.” You mumbled, “What if he tipped off the principal about what I’m doing?”

Chaeryeong shook her head, “We won't let that happen, Y/N.” She lined your lips slowly, “That's what Irene and I are here for.”

Irene settled behind you, gently brushing your hair back with her fingers, “I won't let Principal Jung get close to you.”

Chaeryeong smiled softly, “There. Makeup's all done. Irene’s doing your hair. And we still have 40 minutes left to spare. We can get pictures and everything done then.”

You smiled gently, “Even if I don't get to go in, I’m happy I could have this experience with you two again.”

“Principal Jung’s a jerk for taking away the Winter Ball for you. It's your last year at the school.” Irene mumbled.

Chaeryeong joined in, “And, you helped decorate. The least she could have done was let you go.”

You chuckled, “It was my own lack of judgement. When I saw his face, I wanted to do nothing but punch him.”

Irene pulled her hands away from your hair, smiling, “Picture time!” Before adding the final touch; a white feathered headband, clipping it into your hair.

The three of you all wandered down the steps, Chaeryeong’s parents at the bottom of the stairs, a camera in her dad’s hands and her mother gushing about how wonderful the three of you all looked. Guiding you all along to the area in front of their fire place, Chaeryeong stood in the middle, placing her hand on her hip and nodded to her father.

“Big smiles.” He chuckled, the shutter closing and capturing the photo. You all took a few more, taking joking pictures with one another, serious ones, and even having individual pictures taken of each of you, with one of the others holding you as if they were your date to the dance.

Chaeryeong's mother chuckle, "Okay, you three. You should head out before you waste the dance just taking pictures."

The three of you waddled to the front door, Chaeryeong's mother giving a peck to her head, and rubbing her cheeks, smiling softly.

Irene and yourself headed out to the car, climbing into the front seats.

And when Chaeryeong joined, she climbed into the backseat, "Why do you get shotgun, Irene! You just joined us again."

"Move your feet, lose your seat!" The two bickered back and forth.

You chuckled, turning down the music a bit to listen to their argument. It was like that the entire ride.

"The front seat is about loyalty, Irene! And you decided to not only be friends with Minho, but to date him!" Chaeryeong scolded.

Irene fired back, "He's the one who asked! I went in as a secret spy."

Pulling into the parking lot, you took your regular spot and shut off the car, "Okay, let's go over the plan one more time."

Chaeryeong groaned playful, "At 6:50, we open the back door of the gym to you, and then we party like we've never partied before."

"Yeah." Irene nodded.

You looked between the two, "What are you both going to do if a teacher comes and asks what you're doing?"

"I'll peek my head out and knock three times while you go run off to the girl's locker room and hide away in the shower stalls. And I'll tell the teacher I must've heard something." Chaeryeong responded plainly, already getting annoyed of the rehearsals.

Irene mumbled along.

You sent them a thumb's up, "See, was that so hard?" You laughed, "Alright, get up to the door and turn in your ticket. I'll be at the park behind the school until-"

"6:50 on the dot!" You all blurted out together, Chaeryeong and Irene giving each other an eye roll before they slammed the door and headed to the front doors, turning in their tickets to join the dance.

You pulled out from the spot and drove around the corner to the park, plopping down on a park bench, sifting through your bag. You mindlessly began to reorganize your bag, keeping your phone propped up to show the time.

"20 whole minutes." You sighed to yourself, tapping the items against the table, clicking your tongue.

You could see the gymnasium door just across the way, your eyes catching on the door, hopeful.

God, please let this work, you thought to yourself.

It never stuck with you just how screwed up this whole situation was: You lost a citizenship award you worked so hard for, you planted the trees just outside the baseball field for Arbor Day, for Christ sake. You donated approximately 6 pints of blood for blood drives. You volunteered at the hospital. You volunteered at the dentists. You volunteered at shelters, the same exact shelters Minho picked his three cats for adoption, it so happens. You didn't just lose your citizenship award, no, you lost all dignity in the eyes of your teachers, your supervisors. You felt so wronged because, what? You threw a little kick to the boy who has been taunting you?

You set up the entire Winter Ball. You were the one who introduced it to the council after it was pushed back for something else. You were the one who designed it. You were the one who made the ballots based on the students suggestions. You did this, all of it, aside from physically setting it up. You couldn't take credit from Chaeryeong and the others who worked so hard to make it a reality.

No, it wasn't just you who did all of it. It was plenty of others. It was the students who donated money to help make their dream a reality. It was the students who voted. It was the council for agreeing to it in the first place. It was your parents for getting you all those volunteering hours, it was your parents who gave you direction.

And, God, you didn't want to admit it, but it was also Minho. You could remember his voice as a child, saying, "If we ever have a dance, I'll take you as my date."

Maybe you haven't been completely honest to yourself. To anyone really.

You loved Minho, and maybe the whole reason you let him get away with everything before was because you couldn't blame him; you blamed something else. You blamed his parents for being more obsessed with you than him. You blamed media for telling people that if a boy is mean to you, he like-likes you.

And Minho, in all his bitter rage to his parents, you couldn't blame yourself for loving that smart-as-a-whip, as-funny-as-a-bumblebee and handsome-as-hell, Lee Minho.

The realization almost brought you to tears. But, leaning your head back just as the tears welled, you decided to sacrifice your confession, rather than your makeup.

You grabbed a tissue from your bag, holding the corner to your waterline and used it to soak up the tears in both eyes.

Fanning your face as you looked back at your phone, you realized the time, shoving everything back into your bag and stood up, nearly dashing to the back door of the gym, knocking 5 times.

Chaeryeong opened the door almost immediately, waving you along.

"We did it." She cheered, "We did the plan!" She smiled brightly.

You looked at Chaeryeong as you squeezed through the door, holding your clutch bag in your hand, "Where's Irene?"

Chaeryeong looked over her shoulder, "On the dance floor."

You looked at the girl dancing with someone, smiling to yourself, "She looks happy."

Chaeryeong nodded, "It's so fun in here." She smiled, bouncing on her toes, "Come on! Let's go!"

You followed her to where Irene was, dancing with her.

Minho stood off in the corner of the gym, his hands in his dress pockets.

The disco lights on top of the stage echoed off your vibrance. The white feather headband around your head shined just as bright as your smile. The white dress encasing you so brilliantly, he could almost think you were an angel.

The music echoed off the walls, Heaven by EXO played, Minho's thoughts echoing in the song, silently wishing that you picked up the message that he was telepathically sent you.

All he saw was you in the room, among all the bodies that danced, he was only focused on you.

Minho couldn't help the gentle smile crossing his lips as he saw you dancing with Chaeryeong and Irene, the laugh escaping your lungs at a joke one of the two said. The gentle reminder from his swollen cheek and black eye echoing in his head.

"Dude," Changbin nudged Minho's back with his elbow, "Go talk to her."

Minho shook his head, "She won't talk to me." He mumbled, kicking up an invisible piece of dirt with his shoe.

"Well, we're gonna go dance." Jisung mumbled, "If you wanna join, you know where to find us."

Changbin and Jisung began walking off before Minho stopped them with his hand, "Wait." He started, "You guys got all those ballots in, right?"

"Yes, dude. We put them in all around the school." Jisung shrugged, "Don't worry, Minho. She'll come around."

Minho looked over Jisung's shoulder, glancing at your figure, "Yeah, you're right."

Jisung scoffed, "Of course I am." He shrugged.

The two wandered back to their dates, grabbing their hands and leading them to the dance floor, not very far from where you three were.

Irene greeted the two, smiling softly and talking over the music. And it seems, as aware you've been in the past, that wherever those two were, Minho wasn't far behind. Turning your head over your shoulder, you saw Minho standing at the refreshments table, nodding his head to you.

And by some miracle, you nodded back, turning back to your friends, whispering to Chaeryeong about who knows what, and looked back at him, the well in your eyes clear under the fairy lights and led's.

He wanted you to have fun. And he was sure to let you have it, even if it meant destroying his own evening.

Chaeryeong rubbed your back as you whispered to her, "Hey, Y/N, you'll be okay." She calmed you down, "I understand the anxiety, but I promise you, I won't let anything happen to you here. Not tonight. Not after everything we all went through."

Your chest heaved, "Yeah, you're right." You nodded.

Who were you to let your anxiety settle in your stomach at the sight of your oh-so gracious enemy? That same enemy you've had feelings for ever since he first got scared by that worm you held out to him on a rainy day? That same enemy you've had so many movie nights with?

No, you weren't going to let him get the best of you, not tonight; Especially not when Jisung was dancing like an old grandpa at his granddaughter's wedding.

Minho peeked over his shoulder again as he walked to the entrance of the entire gym, swirling the fruit punch in his hand.

Suddenly, an idea popped in his head. Not one of malice, but rather a way to settle your anxiety a bit. Something that'll get the supervisors out of the way. So, they didn't notice you.

Clicking his tongue, he grabbed a lemon from the refreshments table, something that was used as decoration and immediately squeezed it in his drink. Looking around, he wandered back to his spot by the door, and took a sip.

He pulled a face, smacking his tongue in disgust, "Oh, yeah. That's the real deal." He gagged. Holding up the drink, he looked at the bottom, hoping a seed or nothing got into his drink, just to really hitch off his plan. Wandering over to a supervisor, he gagged again, "Excuse me." He started, and when they turned he began to pull off the lies he's become so good at, "This... This fruit punch, I think the supervisor there spiked it, or something. It tastes off." He shrugged.

The supervisor he told immediately looked at the refreshments table and furrowed his brows, "May I take a sip?"

Minho passed him the clear plastic cup, "All yours. I think I'm good for the night." He held his hands up, straighten his face.

The supervisor took a sip, their brows furrowing, "Oh, that's foul!" They complained, "Thank you for telling me, Minho. I'll get on that immediately." They threw the drink out and called the security over.

Minho walked off, laughing quietly to himself, stuffing his hands back in his pockets.

The supervisor asked the other to follow them out, and just like that, all the other's followed, wanting to see what was going on with the refreshments supervisor.

His eyes were captivated by you, leaning against the table of the unattended refreshments, letting out his own little laugh as Changbin and Jisung were dancing like idiots, his eyes stuck on you.

He couldn't get over how... beautiful you looked. Ethereal, even. Minho was shocked how no one else was looking at you, how no one was as captivated as he was.

And he would've mustered up the courage to walk up to you if it wasn't for the student announcer walking across the stage, clearing their throat and tapping on the microphone to get the attention of the student body.

"Attention all students!" They started, "Congratulations to all of you for joining us at this wonderful ball. None of this would've been accomplished if it wasn't for all your support and ideas. We appreciate it so, so much."

The crowd cheered, Jisung letting out a loud whoop at the thanks.

"This evening, in this envelope, I have the official results for our school wide ballot that will decide our Winter Ball Court for this event." They smiled as another eruption of cheers came out, "Now, please, join me in this wonderful reveal of our court."

Tearing open the envelope, Minho smiled to himself, looking up at you as he hoped you were just as excited for this reveal as he was.

"First, our Winter Ball Princess, is..." The anticipation built.

Jisung and Changbin obnoxiously hyped the crowd with what sounded like barks, and whoops, and cheers.

"Bae Joohyun, also known as, Irene!" The student announcer clapped.

"Oh my god, Irene!" Chaeryeong hugged her friend, a wide smile on her face, "You won Princess!"

"Congratulations, Irene!" You hugged her tightly, "Go up there and get your prize."

Irene smiled brightly, giving Jisung and Changbin and their dates their own hugs, as she walked up the stage, her dress glittering in the light.

"For our Winter Ball Princess this evening, we'll be gifting her not only a crown, but a $200 dollar gift certificate to our proud sponsor, Seoul Queen Spa!" The student announcer held up the certificate, passing it to Irene.

"Woo! Let's go, Irene!" Jisung cheered, clapping loudly, leading the entire crowd to follow.

Irene bowed deeply, giving her thanks.

"How wonderful!" The announcer clapped themselves, "Alright, who is our Winter Ball Prince?" They cleared their throat once again, "Our Winter Ball Prince will be getting a $150 gift certificate to, I'm sure, a school favorite bakery." They smiled, the crowd cheering, "Our Winter Ball Prince, is..." They drummed their hands on the podium, "Seo Changbin!"

"Let's go!" Jisung cheered, giving his friend a giant hug, patting his back with his hand, "Hey, man, get me one of those chocolate muffins at that bakery."

Changbin chuckled, pushing the younger's head playfully, giving a kiss to his date's cheek and walked up to the stage, just as everyone began to cheer loudly, a chorus of his name being chanted. Jokingly, Changbin waved his head, bowing and letting the announcer place the crown on his head.

"Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for. The Winter Ball King and Queen!"

Another cheer, Jisung making obnoxious noises just as it was announced, and Chaeryeong letting out her own cheer.

"Our Winter Ball King and Queen will not only be getting special gifts, our King and Queen will have a special date together, provided by our wonderful supervisors here this evening." The announcer smiled.

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Chaeryeong squealed, "So many weeks of getting people to vote! I wonder who won!"

"I know!" You both held each other's hands in anticipation.

Looking up just a bit, everything almost moving in slow motion, you caught eyes with Minho, feeling your heart pounding in your chest.

You could swear that the glimpse Minho sent to you had a smile across his face, a mischievous glint in his eyes, one with a bruise decorating his orbital. And when you met your unwavering eyes at him, he bit his bottom lip and turned his head away from you.

“And the Winter Ball Royal Court starts with...” the student announcer opened the envelope, a smile crossing their lips as the turned the card to the crowd, “Y/N!" They called.

"Y/N, you won!" Chaeryeong gasped, "Those write in ballots must've been the one's who elected you!"

"Huh, probably." You mumbled.

"Well, go! Go! Get your crown." Chaeryeong almost pushed you to the stairs.

You're eyes widened while looking at Minho, the fear and hyperawareness that this could become a Carrie situation.

“Come on up, Y/N.” The announcer called, holding a hand out to you, helping you up the steps. The anxiety that settled inside your chest drowned out the applause around you as you scanned the ceiling before you relaxed and accepted the crown to be placed on your head.

The announcer turned to the microphone, smiling, “The final winner for Winter Royal Court is... Lee Minho.” They clapped.

You froze, looking into the crowd as Minho pushed past some students, nodding to them in response to their congratulations. He bent down for the announcer to place the crown on his head, the crowd laughing with him just as he planted himself right beside you, scratching at the black eye, wincing just a bit at the bruising.

Minho looked at you, clearing his throat, “You look nice.” He whispered, fixing his suit.

“As do you.” You mumbled bluntly, taking a small step away from him, “So, how’d you win? We both weren’t on the ballot.”

“Jisung and Changbin dumped some faux write-in ballots in the box.” He nodded to his group of friends, giving a high five to Changbin, “Thought this would be the easiest way to talk to you without you physically assaulting me.”

The announcer smiled, “Now, it’s time for the dance with the winter court! Everyone, grab a partner, and get ready to share the waltz with one another.”

The lights dimmed and the music began. Minho turned to you, settling one hand on your hip, and the other holding your hand. “I hope you know I don’t hate you.” he started, “They were just impractical jokes.”

You could remember vividly when you were imagining this as a kid; On The Snow by EXO would be playing, Minho holding your hand in his, and you both would share a meaningful moment.

And only two of those were true; On The Snow was definitely playing, and Minho was definitely holding your hand.

You furrowed your brows, “Impractical jokes? You gave me food poisoning on one occasion, and the flu on the other.” You glared at him, "I could've died a few days ago."

Minho sighed, "Listen, I'm sorry. Okay? I didn't mean to try to kill you." He sighed, "Isn't that what all boys do to their crush?"

“No.” you growled, “Normally, boys would just give their crush their jacket on a cold day, or flowers when they’re sad. What you did was just... cruel.” You looked away, feeling both embarrassed and upset.

Minho chuckled softly, shaking his head, “You're thinking of chick-flic endings.”

“There's nothing wrong with someone wanting to be treated correctly.” You squeezed his hand until your fingertips turned white, “Who knows? Maybe if you did treat me with an ounce of respect, I could’ve been your date tonight instead of you having to find a way to talk to me and ruin my winter ball.”

Minho looked at you softly, "Let's start from the beginning."

"What?"

"From the beginning. From that day I told you you'd be my date to something like this."

You looked away, "I can't forget what you did to me."

"I never said you did. I just said we can start from the beginning." He lifted your head with his finger, "You can hang all of those cruel things I did to you over my head."

Your heart thumped in your chest, "You owe me 536 dollars and 12 cents." You mumbled, "And, I get to choose the movies we watch for a month."

Minho smiled, "Deal." Using his fingers to brush an invisible strand of hair from your face, he held your face in your hand for a little bit, "Can I kiss you?"

You looked at him softly, "You haven't had any fish, have you?"

Minho chuckled, "No, I haven't. Not today, at least." He smiled, "Not tonight. I wouldn't have done that to you."

"Then, yes." You whispered.

All three came true, you thought to yourself, feeling your inner-child jumping with joy.

But before he could press his lips against yours, a loud booming voice stopped you both.

"Miss Y/N!"

"Oh, no." You turned to find the principal entering the gymnasium, "Gotta run." You whispered, lifting your dress so you didn't trip over it as you ran down the steps and out the back door, dashing to your car.

The principal and other supervisors stood at the exit and watched as you sat in your car, a giant smile across your face as you watched them right back.

Minho raised his arms in frustration, debating on what exactly to do in this situation.

Changbin chuckled, "Modern day Cinderella."

"But she didn't drop a shoe." Jisung shrugged, leaning against the edge of the stage, before gasping, "But she did leave that!" He pointed before grabbing the discarded item on the ground.

It was the white feathered headband, and Minho nearly snatched it from his hands, looking at the door you ran out.

Chaeryeong and Irene shared a look, before they ran out the door the supervisors returned through.

Chaeryeong paused, "We're really sorry, miss, but what you did was... incredibly wrong to do." She looked at the principal with anger in her eyes, "Sorry, again!"

Minho hurried down the stage and followed the two out the door, "Sorry, miss, but, maybe you should've listened to your number one citizen!" He shouted as he ran behind the two girls, following them to your parked car.

"Minho?!" Chaeryeong shouted behind her, "What are you doing?!"

"I'm not letting her think I don't care again." He chuckled, knocking at the window of your car, motioning for you to roll down the window.

And when you did, Minho popped his head through, kissing you in the lips, the headband forgotten in his hand.

You gasped softly, feeling all that anxiety you had melt away, holding his wrists as he kissed you before he pulled away to breathe.

Minho smiled softly, "I think I love you, Cinderella."

You chuckled softly, "Come over and we can talk more about it." You ran your thumb across his swollen cheek, and his bruised eye, a sad reminder of what the two of you experienced.

Minho laughed, setting the headband just the way it was on your head, "I'll see you then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

75 notes · View notes

gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

Text

Request: Imagine being Lin Beifong’s daughter and having a crush on Iroh II

Tags: @tincdraws

Growing up as the daughter of Lin Beifong metal and earth bending were your whole life. You learnt to earth bend by the time you could walk and your mother had you in training from a young age so you graduated from the earth bending school at the top of your class with your eyes firmly set on following in your mother’s footsteps whilst also trying to emulate your grandmother’s success. You had a sharp focus and nothing else really caught your attention. You had friends but training came first and dating seemed something superficial you could live without. Republic city was your life and you would never dream of leaving it but your mother had other ideas.

Your mother thought you needed more worldly experience before you joined the police force so she sent you to the fire nation to gain some training as an officer. She claimed the fire nation had some of the best officers in the world and that they would help you learn invaluable real-life experience. You did not agree and protested the whole thing. All your training had revolved around the needs of Republic City specifically and you couldn’t see how you’d learn anything new about how to protect your city by travelling all the way to fire nation but your mother refused to change her mind and that was that.

So you were shipped off to the fire nation fresh out of the academy. Your mother had spoken to Firelord Izumi and it was agreed you’d be staying at the palace so not only would you be unfamiliar with the environment, you’d be in a place where every small look, word or action had large consequences. You didn’t know much about the fire nation and couldn’t really recall the royal family. You were aware your grandmother was very close with the late Firelord Zuko but since then things had changed. Although your grandmother’s friends (mainly Katara) had tried to keep the group close it was hard with everyone scattered across the four nations and so with each generation the group had drifted further and further apart. You knew Firelord Izumi had a daughter older than you and a son around your age called Iroh. You recalled meeting Iroh when you were younger at some event in the south pole but couldn’t remember much more than a serious fire nation child. So you arrived on the steps of the palace utterly out of your depth determined to see these three months through so you could return to your beloved city. You were shown into the palace immediately, your belongings taken by maids who refused to let you carry them yourself as you were a royal guest. You weren’t used to finery so proceeded through the palace partly in awe and partly in utter confusion why someone needed this many paintings of old men everywhere. You were finally shown into a large room. “Ah you must be y/n Beifong” a voice called and you turned to see someone who looked vaguely familiar. You knew he wasn’t Firelord Zuko or Firelord Izumi’s husband as he was too young so figured by his royal outfit this was Izumi’s second child the prince. “Prince Iroh, it’s an honour to see you again” you said bowing and he chuckled “I bet you thought that would be a winning line with any fire nation citizen didn’t you? Because we’re still all obsessed with honour like we were centuries ago?” Iroh asked and you hesitated. “If I caused any offence...” you started but Iroh cut you off breaking out in a large smile “no I was only kidding, it is a winning line we are still obsessed with honour”. You watched as Iroh laughed at his own joke surprised, you didn’t expect the prince of the fire nation to be like this. You figured royalty lacked the ability or the clearance to have a sense of humour but apparently not. “So have I really not changed since we were eight?” Iroh asked and when you frowned he elaborated “you recognised me but the last time we met was just over ten years ago”. You paused “ow no I didn’t actually recognise you, you were young, dressed in fine clothes with royal hairpins, not to mention you’re in the palace...you had to be the prince”. “Good deductions officer” Iroh said saluting you before he grinned “i’m in training too”. That piqued your interest “really? for the fire nation army?”. He nodded “yep! I’m an officer but my hope is to be general one day and to fully earn it, rather than just get it because of who my family is...hopefully in a few years i’ll get there”. “I’m sure you will” you agreed and Iroh led you into a large dining room. “Are we dining alone?” you asked confused and Iroh smirked. “Why? Not pleased with me?” he asked and you rushed to assure him that wasn’t the case when he laughed again “I’m joking again y/n, I know my grandfather told you the whole family would be dining with you in his letter to your mother but he, my parents and sister were all called away to an urgent matter and asked me to fill in as we’re similar ages”. “Ow” you nodded “that makes sense...is everything okay?”. Iroh nodded “everything’s fine just boring fire nation stuff...so shall we?” he asked holding out his arm to you. You weren’t sure if this was appropriate so averted your eyes and only took his arm lightly. Iroh smirked at your caution and led you into the room.

The meal with Iroh was nice. He was friendly, hard-working and interesting. You soon got used to his humour and learnt not to take him too seriously. You hadn’t met many other people your age who shared your passion for a military career and found it was nice, a sentiment Iroh apparently shared. He enquired what you were doing the rest of the week and when you replied nothing as training didn’t start for another week he soon had several of your days planned out with fire nation sights to show you. Iroh seemed to understand you didn’t know much about the fire nation so planned to take you to all the important sites as well as areas relevant to the army to peak both your interests. You enjoyed the prince’s tours greatly and even when training did start you continued meeting with Iroh regularly. You liked his company and were surprised that didn’t fade the more time you spent with him, if anything it grew more and more. You thought he’d be a spoilt entitled prince but he was kind and considerate pleasantly surprising you.

You didn’t become aware that you liked Iroh as anything more until one of your friends at the academy pointed it out. Since starting training you were progressing well, you achieved high grades and were held in high esteem by your fellow recruits. You had made some friends and often trained with them after the academy retired for the day. After a long training session you were heading to the palace when one of your friends called out to you “hey y/n some of us were going into town to celebrate our class’s good progress, do you want to come?”. You smiled pleased they wanted you to come when you remembered you couldn’t go “I’d love to Shani but sorry I can’t I have plans”. “Of course you do” she smirked as your other friend Aizori grinned “is it with Iroh by any chance”. “Actually it is” you said frowning at their shared look “why?”. “Ow nothing just it’s not every day your friend is dating the crowned prince”. “Me and Iroh are not dating!” you cried “our families are old friends that’s all”. “Uh...hu, if that’s true then what are your plans together may we ask?”. “We’re attending a party at the palace”. “Together?” Shani asked and you blushed “yes but he only asked me because it’s a formal event that’s apparently really boring so he wanted a friend there, trust me we’re not dating”. “But how can you resist?” Aizori asked “I’ve only seen the prince a handful of times but he seems to get better looking every single time! How don’t you get lost in those golden eyes and that chiselled jaw? The royal family has some amazing genes not even a Beifong can resist”. You paused considering it. For you looks weren’t very important so you didn’t tend to notice them. You held work ethic and determination as much higher priorities and Iroh scored very highly in both but in looks...you honestly couldn’t say. “I’m not sure I’ve noticed” you admitted and the girls rolled their eyes not believing you.

When you arrived back at the palace your friend’s words were ringing in your head and when you next saw Iroh something felt different. You took note of his looks and were surprised by what you’d found. Iroh was attractive, very attractive, how had you missed that? You stared at Iroh wondering if his eyes had always been that bright? Was his jaw always that sharp? His hair that good regularly when he frowned “why are you staring at me?”. “Nothing” you cried and he paused before shrugging “Are you ready to go?” he asked “the party has already started” offering you his arm. You nodded and took it cautiously following Iroh into the ballroom.

You could see why Iroh had wanted to invite you, everyone in the room was at least 60 years old or some stiff nobel person from an ancient line of fire nation families. All they seemed to want to discuss was old family bloodlines, territories or ancient traditions. After your fifth boring ambush by some old fire nation man Iroh pointedly headed for the gardens. You frowned as he exited discreetly, closing the door behind him, and headed away from the hall. “Iroh I’m pretty sure the party is inside” you commented and Iroh grinned “I know but I can’t take another second in there so humour me? One lap of the gardens then we’ll head back, please? I know you haven’t seen them properly yet so how about a tour?” Iroh holding out his hand to you. You rolled your eyes but took his hand happily.

Iroh led you around the gardens explaining the different flora to you and their history. “I spent so many parties hiding in here as a kid” he grinned “this place is so huge they couldn’t find me for hours”. You smiled at the thought “my mother would’ve killed me if I did that”. “Mine did” Iroh chuckled “but I’d honestly rather face her wrath than some boring commander who wants to lecture me about our family’s history and why it’s so important...they’re literally my own family and even I don’t care” Iroh cried making you smile. “I see why you escaped out here so often, I’m very grateful formal parties were not a part of my childhood”. Iroh smiled and went to comment when the smile was wiped from his face and he grabbed you, quickly pushing you behind a large fern. “Iroh what are you...”. “Shhh they’ve come for us” he hissed and you frowned when you heard a voice. “Prince Iroh?” a man you recognised as the palace coordinator called “Are you out here? You’re needed inside”. You smirked and Iroh rolled his eyes “they’re relentless”. “Master Iroh if you’re out there please return to the ballroom, your mother’s orders”. There was silence and then the sound of the butler coming closer. Your eyes widened and Iroh put a hand over your mouth pushing you further into the bushes. “Prince Iroh?” a voice called literally right beside you and Iroh smirked as you grabbed his arm in surprise. You heard a sigh and the sound of the man retreating. When the footsteps died away Iroh dropped his hold on you and you both burst into laughter. “I thought we were going to be caught and then royally punished...literally” you added and Iroh smirked “I wouldn’t let them punish you, it’s not your fault I dragged you out here”. “True but I didn’t try hard to stop you”. “You did encourage me” Iroh nodded thinking “okay it’s all your fault”. You gaped laughing “I never said that! You are such a liar” you cried pushing him and Iroh laughed grabbing your arm “okay okay maybe we share the blame 50:50?”. “No way” you smiled and Iroh paused “60:40?”. “I think 90:10?” you said grinning and Iroh sighed “fine, i’ll take 10% of the blame”. You shook your head at how wonderfully infuriating he was and smiled at him fondly. Iroh grinned back and you realised suddenly how close his face was to yours. Iroh seemed to notice too, he glanced down at your lips and you panicked moving away from him suddenly. There was an awkward tension in the air and you broke it with a cough “so want to show me more of the gardens then?”. Iroh nodded “right this way my lady” the awkwardness gone and led you further into the garden.

When you were safely hidden from the ballroom Iroh stopped walking, explaining this was one of his favourite spots in the whole garden and you gratefully took a break sitting down. “I can’t believe you’ve already been here a month” Iroh commented and you nodded “I know only 2 more to go then my mandatory 3 months work experience is done”. Iroh frowned “mandatory...so you could stay longer if you wanted to?”. “Hypothetically” you agreed and Iroh hesitated “do you think you’d extend it? Hypothetically?”. You paused “I’m not sure, I have enjoyed the fire nation far more than I thought I would but I’ve always wanted to complete my training as quickly as possible, I hope to be chief of police one day and I’ll need many years of service for that...”. Iroh frowned “isn’t the youngest chief like 41?”. You nodded “yeah so i’ve got time I guess, maybe i’ll stay for longer...is this just so you have someone to skirt your royal duties with?”. Iroh laughed “maybe...I like you being here, it’s nice not being the only person under 30 in every room”. You smiled “well i’m glad my presence isn’t displeasing to you...you’ve been pleasant as well” you added blushing and Iroh grinned. “Wait did I make a Beifong blush? That’s like a legendary occurrence, this is amazing!”. “Stop it” you cried but Iroh wouldn’t let you turn away “no, this will go down in history, Beifong blushes are rarer than dragons so I’m soaking up every second”. For the second time that day Iroh stared at you closely and you blushed more under his gaze but this time you didn’t move away. Iroh continued gazing at you before he lightly moved his hand to your cheek “y/n...” he said softly leaning in closer when a figure appeared. “There you are!” a voice cried and you both jumped away from one another. Your jaw dropped when you realised who it was and you dropped into a bow “Firelord Izumi...i’m so sorry I didn’t see you approach”. “Rise child you did nothing wrong” she said warmly “my son on the other hand...” she trailed off glancing at Iroh who paled. “Hey mom” he frowned and she raised an eyebrow “really? That’s all you have to say? No apology or grovelling”. “Erm I’m sorry for ditching?” Iroh offered and Izumi sighed. “Y/n would you please excuse us, I want to have a word with my son”. “Of course” you agreed bowing and you rushed away.

Iroh returned not long after with his mother and told you he had to stay in the ballroom for the rest of the party. You agreed to stay with him and he smiled gratefully at you making you blush and look away rapidly. The night passed and neither you nor Iroh spoke about what happened in the garden. How he’d almost kissed you and how you were going to let him. You couldn’t believe your own recklessness. What good did you think would come out of kissing the prince of the fire nation? You were obviously not an appropriate match and so there was nothing to be encouraged there. You resolved to never find yourself in that situation again and decided to just stay as friends no matter how much you got along or how attractive he was. Getting involved with a fire nation prince was not responsible behaviour. So after that night you made sure to put distance between you and Iroh. You didn’t stop seeing him you just made sure to emphasise it was a friendship. You didn’t let yourself get caught up in him the way you had in the gardens and always kept a level head. Iroh never tried anything or mentioned that night either and you supposed he picked up on your not so subtle hints. You carried on as before but there was definitely an unmentioned barrier between you which you never let fade.

You left the fire nation 2 months later. You didn’t extend your stay as with your feelings for Iroh you didn’t think it would be wise. Iroh saw you off and hugged you tightly before you got onto the airship. “It’s been nice having you around Beifong, I’ll miss you”. Iroh’s words made you hesitate and you hugged him tighter. For that time in Iroh’s arms you imagined what would have happened if you’d kissed him in the gardens that night. Iroh didn’t strike you as someone who flitted from person to person taking what he wanted, you think if he wanted to kiss you he must have felt something for you too and perhaps would have suggested dating. You imagined all the things you’d have done together but as a couple and wondered if you’d made a mistake, maybe you should have just gone for it? But then reality set in. If you really wanted to be chief of police then you couldn’t have short relationships with high ranking members of the fire nation. Other candidates could use it to show you had compromised morals and there was no way it would be a long term relationship due to your lack of fire nation heritage. Sure the fire nation was pretty progressive but that didn’t really apply to royalty. They had thousand-year-old traditions to uphold that couldn’t be broken easily so Iroh was never a long term option for you. Therefore all logical signs said you’d done the correct thing not persuing something with him...so why did it feel so shit? You finally pulled away from Iroh and he noticed your expression. “What’s wrong?” he asked and you shook your head looking away “nothing i’ll just miss it here...promise you’ll keep in touch?”. “Cross my heart” Iroh smiled “you’re not someone I intend to let slip away, expect a visit every time I come to republic city”. You pushed away the rational voice in your mind telling you to keep a distance from him and smiled “you’ll always be welcome and I’m very much looking forward to it”. Iroh blushed “thank you y/n” and you nodded back, just looking at him in admiration before catching yourself. “I should go...” and Iroh nodded “safe travels” and with a final look you walked away.

2 years later

After your departure you and Iroh stayed in regular contact and your letters only halted when he was deployed by the military but the second we was out he would write and arrange to come visit you in Republic City. You still thought about him and your feelings for him regularly and every time you saw him you knew your crush hadn’t lessened. You loved Iroh’s visits and soon they became the thing you cherished most. You told yourself all of this was fine because you’d never act on your feelings but sometimes you wondered if Iroh felt something too? You’d catch him staring at you or he’d blush if you smiled at him in a certain way. The very idea of Iroh liking you made you very excited but you also knew it would only lead to heartache. He wouldn’t be allowed to settle down with someone outside the fire nation so it didn’t matter if he liked you too. So you settled for his friendship which was more than enough for you. When Iroh was posted in republic city when he became general you were thrilled and you only continued to grow closer.

However republic city wasn’t as peaceful. There had been multiple attacks on the city from Amon’s chi blockers to Vaatu’s take over and you and Iroh were constantly pushed into the fray. Multiple times you’d faced staggering odds and every single time you wondered if you should confess your feelings to Iroh in case the unthinkable happened but every time you chickened out. You and Iroh had been safe every time but there was only so much you could push your luck.

You’d been wary of Kuvira’s take over of the earth kingdom from the very start. Your aunt Su Yin had told you all about her so you weren’t surprised when she set her sights on Republic City but that didn’t mean you weren’t terrified. The avatar and her friends informed you what you were facing and you weren’t sure how you could even think about facing a giant mecha suit with spirit cannons. Iroh shared your sentiment but as general of Republic City’s army he was forced by President Raiko to lead his troops out there. Watching Iroh take to the front line you were swept with the desire once again to be honest with him, to tell him how you felt before it was too late. You decided three was too many times to chance it and so decided to finally tell him how you felt. You made your way to the general’s tent and found Iroh with Korra discussing strategies. You greeted them both warmly before making your way to Iroh’s side “could we please talk? I have something to tell you”. You knew Iroh had a hundred things to do but he nodded warmly squeezing your hand “of course just give me one second to...” when the radio sprang into action. President Raiko had surendering to Kuvira’s demands. Republic City was hers.

The avatar was furious and you matched her sentiment. You and Iroh joined her as she met with other leaders in the city like Tenzin and your mother and they all agreed something had to be done to stop Kuvira. A plan was quickly assembled, it was agreed that airbenders would attack the suit from the sky and earth benders would attack from the ground. You didn’t actually expect to damage the suit, you only had to distract Kuvira long enough for Korra to get inside. You were agreeing fervently getting ready to leave with your cousins when Iroh grabbed your arm. “Wait Y/n are you sure you want to do this?” he asked nervously “that mecha suit is dangerous there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to stop it”. I know but it’s my home, I swore to protect it and I won’t break my oath. I have to try and help”. Iroh sighed thinking and you watched him wondering what he’d say. “I understand why you’re doing it and I want to come too”. You paused pleasantly surprised “You do...but I thought President Raiko told you to retreat and surrender?”. “He told me to surrender the army not that I couldn’t personally engage in fighting, i’m not fighting as a general but as plain old Iroh” he announced proudly and you smiled “there’s nothing plain about you even without your titles”. Iroh beamed at you “Does this mean you agree? We can fight this giant together!”. You nodded your head “okay let’s go meet up with the others”.

You and Iroh rushed after the others and found them all suiting up. “Finally” your mother said spotting you but she frowned when she saw Iroh with you “y/n tell me you didn’t bring the general who is also the prince of the fire nation into this”. “She didn’t, I volunteered” Iroh spoke up “I’m not here as a general or as a prince but as a civilian so, where can I help?”. “You know your mother won’t like this” Tenzin commented and Iroh nodded “I know but some things are worth facing her wrath for” he said shooting you a smile and you blushed.

So it was agreed Iroh would stay. Your mother thought it would be best to place him on the roof with the airbenders, she ordered him to shoot lightning at the joints to try and cause some malfunctioning. When you’d all suited up the teams said their goodbyes and Iroh appeared in front of you. You didn’t have long, Kuvira’s giant suit was already in view and the ground shook whenever it took a single step. Iroh stared at you and sighed heavily “Y/n...”. “Don’t say it like that, we don’t have time and we’re both going to be fine okay?” you said faking a smile but Iroh saw right through it. “What did you want to tell me earlier?”. You froze caught off guard and blushed “I...I just wanted to...it doesn’t matter”. The ground jumped and Iroh looked at it nervously before stepping closer to you “I think I can guess what you were going to say”. “You can?” you asked nervously and Iroh smiled “yeah...you had another Beifong blush moment and I’ve noticed you do them around me a lot”. You went bright red and Iroh chuckled “yeah like that...”. You looked down embarrassed but Iroh took your hand gently “don’t, I blush a lot around you too”. You smiled blushing more and Iroh chuckled softly. “Y/n are you ready?” your mom asked and Iroh gripped your hand tightly. “Wait I want to tell you everything before you leave” Iroh cried but you squeezed his hand gently. “It’ll be okay” you smiled “you can tell me everything later and I think I can guess too”. Iroh grinned blushing “later then...just got to get through this”. “We’ll be fine, this is what he trained for” you smiled confidently “I promise I’ll see you on the other side”. Iroh nodded and stared at your lips, he went to move in when your mother called “y/n are you coming or are we leaving you behind”. “I’m coming!” you yelled and stepped away from Iroh “mothers” you commented and he smiled “go, i’ll see you after” and with a last look you both rushed off to your assigned group.

The battle

The fight went about as good as could be expected. The suit swatted the air benders away like flies and your group’s earth, metal and even lava bending barely slowed it down. But it didn’t matter, all that mattered was the avatar and her team managed to find a way into that thing and your team cheered when you saw she’d done just that. Now the fight was Korra’s so you let your guard down when suddenly the machine began malfunctioning. Your mother yelled for you all to take cover but you were too far away from the building. The suit exploded with a blast and you saw a blinding light and then black.

After the suit exploded everyone assumed the battle won. Half the air benders went after Korra to help her with Kuvira and the other half went to the ground to make sure the others were okay, of course Iroh went with the latter. He saw Bolin, your aunt and cousins but no sign of you or your mother. They told him they were all searching for you and he rushed to join in. With each street he passed his heart began to sink when finally he spotted you! In the arms of your mother unconscious. Iroh ran forward dropping to his knees beside you. “What happened?” he cried and your mother clutched you desperately “that thing exploded and she was too far to get into cover, it hit her sending her flying through the street and now she’s...she’s...”. Iroh saw the blood seeping through your mother’s hands where she held them against you. “No” he said viciously “y/n won’t...she can’t! We need a medic” he yelled loudly before taking off his jacket to wrap around your wound. “Maybe I can cauterise the wound?” he asked “seal it to stop her losing so much blood?”. Lin paused “I think the wounds too big but it’s worth a shot”. Iroh nodded and Lin lifted the bottom of your uniform. Iroh saw a large gash across your stomach and winced. He lit his hand on fire and pressed his hands against the wound. You gasped suddenly and your eyes shot open. “Y/n” your mother and Iroh cried in unison and you blinked trying to make sense of the situation before you groaned in pain. You tensed trying to get away from the burning but your mother held onto you “please y/n just hang on Iroh is trying to cauterise your wound”. “It’s not working” you grimaced resisting the urge to scream “Iroh stop! Please!” you cried and he yelled in frustration moving his hands away from you. “No it has to work if it doesn’t then you’ll.....we need a medic down here” he yelled again but he knew everyone else was spread out and there were no healers in the group. “It’s okay” you said breathing heavily as the situation dawned on you “Iroh it’s alright”. “No it’s not” he cried sinking onto his knees beside you “it’s not y/n, you can’t...you have to fight this, you can’t leave me”. You nodded “trust me i’m trying but Iroh if I do...”. “No y/n don’t even think about it! I won’t let you go it’s not going to happen”. “I don’t think we have a choice” you admitted trying to smile but Iroh just shook his head “but we never got our shot, we never got to talk, I never got to tell you...I love you y/n” he said simply “I have for years, that’s why I never found anyone from the fire nation because the perfect person for me is you. I know there’s traditions and rules but I don’t care, I don’t want anyone else but you. I’d give up anything for you and we were finally heading in that direction and now that stupid spirit cannon”. Tears leaked down Iroh’s face and you reached out a hand to him shakily. He took it and you stroked his face “it’s okay, i’m sorry for being too scared and cautious, I’m sorry for wasting our time together but I love you too, I hope that’s enough”. Iroh nodded “It’s more than I ever hoped, you didn’t waste time you have nothing to be sorry for y/n Beifong, do you hear me?”. “I do” you smiled before coughing in pain and your mother clutched you tighter. “Y/n” your mother cried and you smiled up at her “it’s okay mom, don’t worry. It’s all going to be okay”. You clutched her hand against your chest and took Iroh’s other one. “I’m with the two people I love the most, I’m happy. This is the best way for it to...”. “Stop” Iroh said crying but you just gripped his hand tighter “Iroh look at me”. He blinked through the tears but looked at you. “It’s okay, I promise you everything will be okay”. Iroh just said your name softly and rested his head against yours. Your mother wrapped her arms around both of you and you held onto both of them the best you could when you felt the world fading away. You heard sobbing and your mother faintly saying your name until everything turned dark and it was over.

Epilogue

Following your death the fire nation, earth kingdom and republic city all paid their respects in their traditional fashions. A statue was raised by your mother in the spot of your death and every year on the anniversary of your death both her and Iroh would visit it. Iroh and your mother supported one another following your death being the only one’s who understood how monumental the loss of your life was. They managed to get through it together and although neither of them ever stopped loving you they found a way to carry on. Iroh never married, he couldn’t even consider the idea and his family never pushed him to. He still lived a long and happy life. He was very involved with his sister’s children who he loved dearly and his family never stopped supporting him. If he went quiet and got a teary look in his eye or if he struggled serving in the earth kingdom they understood. Your family also treated him like one of their own, with Lin even calling him her son on a few occasions, and he was invited to all your family’s events in recognition of your love for him. Your memory never faded and when Iroh’s life eventually ended he passed on to find you waiting for him. He knew all the suffering and heartache was over, you were finally together at last.

____

So initially I was going to write a happy ending as well but then I thought screw it, I want to cry so I killed off the reader...but I can release the happy ending as a part two if anyone wants it.

Edit: For the happy ending version click here

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taehoneys · 3 years

Text

BAD GUY | THREE

+ A night with Jungkook only complicates things further between you two.

A certain video circulates the school after your big mistake and you never do mistakes, but you did this time… a big one: J e o n J u n g k o o k

— Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Taehyung

— Genre: Drama

— AU(s): College!AU Fratboy!AU

— Warnings: Fingering, Oral, choking, all kinds of sex, okay? Oh, and sometimes it's unprotected.

— Word Count: 5.4K

— Note: This is the first actual fic that I will post to Tumblr! I’m nervous/excited. I hope you enjoy it.

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03; No good girls

Jungkook was so annoyed with Taehyung that he was ready to just give him the finger and head into his room. But what's new? From the womb (and surely to the tomb), Taehyung and Jungkook have been inseparable. They weren't twins, but their mothers were best friends that had raised them as such that they believed it throughout primary (despite their birthdays being months apart). So, of course, the two were constantly getting on each other's nerves all the time, but neither of them gave each other room to breathe, so that was on them. Scratch that, currently, it was on Taehyung.

"Vape in my face one more time," Jungkook threatened with his eyes, taking a moment away from the smutty conversation happening on his phone.

Taehyung who's leaning on the other side of the couch, legs tucked in, brings the Juul device to his lips, taking a long drag as he stares into Jungkook's eyes. He playfully crosses them before parting his lips seconds later to allow the vape to come out of his mouth, giggling at Jungkook's irritation.

"Fuck's sake, Taehyung, why don't you just go get high in your room?"

"Can't get high," Taehyung responds. "I forgot my weed pen in my sweater."

"Okay, and? Where's your sweater?"

Taehyung’s lip curls into a smirk, "With my girl."

Taehyung’s comment surprises Jungkook. He and Taehyung were slightly different in how Taehyung actually got into relationships, though they were almost always short term since Taehyung got bored easily. "You got a girl?"

Taehyung shrugs.

Dropping the conversation, Jungkook turns back to his phone, nibbling on his lips as he reads the millionth "I want you to cum inside me so bad" sext he's ever received. He taps the side of his phone as he watches the 3 dots dance, indicating the girl was still typing. With the vibration of his phone, the bubble pops up: "I'm such a bad girl". Jungkook snorts as he slides down the couch enough for his neck to rest against the back of it. Nina wasn't that great of a sexter he'll admit, but she was hot and easy.

He never understood why people took that as a bad thing. It just means that they're able to cut to the chase and get to hitting it. He liked that. He wasn't looking for a relationship. What did he care about what their favorite song was or how many kids they wanted? A simple, "What's your major? Oh, cool. Wanna head upstairs?" would do.

Yeah, he loved it easy.

So then why was he hesitating to respond to Nina's "Can I come over?" text? Why were his thoughts drifting away to the night he met you? Teased you? Felt you? Fucked you? Maybe it was because you were his hardest fuck - and he meant that in every way.

Feeling the heat come up his neck, Jungkook tilts his head up as he bites down on his lip harshly. That night, he hadn't expected you to come to the party. In fact, he forgot he even invited you at all. Yet, as he ran down the stairs to his bedroom, there you were making your way inside with a couple of others he recognized in your frat - Yoongi and... Juli, was it? His eyes only briefly landed on theirs before drawing to your tiny red satin dress, which rode up slightly as you took your step into the house. The two of you said nothing. You simply continued to move forward, eyes hanging onto Jungkook's for just a second longer until you lost yourself in the crowd, Jungkook's eyes following you like the big bad wolf himself. Spoiler alert: this is the version where the wolf eats little red up.

Jungkook had let out a puff of air through his nose, leaning over the railing until he felt a hand clap down on his shoulder, shaking him about until the arm hooked around his shoulders. Grinning widely at his frat brother, Namjoon, the pair made their way into the party, allowing him to quickly forget you until he saw you chilling on the counter in the kitchen, talking to his other frat brother, Jimin.

It only took Jungkook a clearing of his throat to have Jimin excuse himself quickly, leaving the kitchen to the two of you.

You boredly gave Jungkook your attention, swinging your legs lightly. "What? I came here to have fun, just like you said."

"If I knew you would do anything I told you, then I would've told you come naked and head straight for my room."

"Oh? Is that what it's really about then, Jeon? You want me all to yourself? Was your tiny ego a little bruised?"

Walking over, he placed his hands down on the counter on each side of you, leaning into you as he narrowed his eyes. You didn't even flinch.

"Good girls like you enter in here with unrealistic dreams and fantasies and walk out with a broken heart and an addiction."

"More like an STI." You snort.

"We get tested." Jungkook replies as if that's really the whole point.

"Good girls do bad things sometimes." You lean into your shoulder, looking up at him with big innocent eyes.

Jungkook looks down at your lips, which spread into a smile. "Have you ever thought about choking me, Jungkook?"

His eyes widen. He had, just not like you were implying, until now.

Satisfied by how speechless you left him, you slid off the counter, grazing against him as you were pressed up against each other. "Good, keep dreaming."

You threw him a tiny wave, leaving him heated, dick hard and somewhat wishing that you could just end his misery. Which you do, later on, but Jungkook didn't have time to think about that.

Jungkook realizes that he's now spent almost 10 minutes on the couch replaying the event in his head, the sound of a new notification catching his attention.

You: Don't forget you owe me.

You: Your choice $50 or $13K.

"What the hell?" Taehyung's voice from behind the couch startles Jungkook, having read your threatening text message on his way to the kitchen. "What kind of shit are you getting into?"

Jungkook swipes the notification away, eyes slanting Taehyung's way with no additional comment. Taehyung, too hungry to care, just stretches and leaves the room, leaving Jungkook to his little situation.

Jungkook: This is the weirdest booty call I've ever received.

You scoff, picking up your phone to angrily text back. Letting him know that you just wanted his ass over right away because the pill was only like 98% effective if taken in 24 hours or fewer. You probably should've headed straight to the store, but honestly, money was really tight. You had a part-time, but you had to cover your tuition, the rent, food, and everything else. Yeah, it was totally your fault for not remembering to use protection this time, but you were only human and you just got a little caught up.

"Bet Jungkook doesn't have to worry about money anyway," you mutter, tapping your nails on the counter while you waited. Jungkook probably had rich parents that paid everything for him, which explains his "I don't give a shit" attitude. Did he know how lucky he was to even get into the university? Well, actually he's lucky to get into one at all.

The front door opens and you get a flash of platinum silver hair as your frat brother/roommate struggles to bring something into the shared house. Your eyes widened, not realizing Yoongi was going to come home so early.

Yoongi pulls in a couple of grocery bags. "Oh? ___, why are you standing there? You almost gave me a heart attack."

You stand up, putting your hands into your - Taehyung's- hoodie. Oh, gosh, you're still wearing Taehyung's hoodie. "Oh- Um. I'm just waiting for Juli."

Yoongi closes the door, locking it before picking up his bags and taking it to the kitchen island. "Juli...? She's not coming home tonight. Did you forget that it's her sister's birthday?"

"That's right!" You snap your fingers. Yoongi only chuckles lightly at your reaction, dropping his eyes to the unfamiliar sweater. "That...is that a guys sweater?"

You nip your bottom lip, ready to vomit an explanation, but Yoongi just starts taking out his things, muttering to himself as he thinks out loud, "I saw that at H&M."

You feel something in the sweater's pocket, taking it out thinking it was a marker or something.

Both you and Yoongi's eyes widen.

His glasses slide down the bridge of his nose, his finger pointing at you. "Hey! What are you doing with that? Isn't that for smoking? Is that what you do now? You smoke?"

"No! It's not mine-"

Yoongi scoffs, "That's what they all say..."

"No, seriously! It's-"

A loud knock on the door followed by a singing of your name rings out.

"___~! Oh, ___. Where for art thou, ___~"

Mortified by the sound of Jungkook's voice, you watch as Yoongi narrows his eyes at you, walking over to look at him through the peephole, Jungkook's eye taking up the complete view.

You run over and hug Yoongi, covering his mouth and whispering up to his ear. "Don't fucking tell Juli, you hear?"

He licks your hand, which you yank away, disgusted. When your phone rings, Jungkook pounds on the door.

"Hey! What game are you playing?" Jungkook yells, "I hear you right on the other side."

Quickly taking off your sweater, you throw it at Yoongi before telling him, "Please put this in my room. I'll explain later, I promise. Just don't tell, Juli."

Yoongi continues to stare at you a little hurt, his eyes picking up the hickeys on your neck when you take off the hoodie. He tries to give you a small little smile, one that doesn't give away that he's been crushing on you since middle school.

You quickly open the door and slip outside, Jungkook sneaking a look into the house a bit, not being discreet at all. You roll your eyes, poking the center of his forehead.

"Hey! It's something."

"You guys didn't get a house on the block?" He asks puzzled, following you to your car.

You stop in your tracks, leaning against the car. "No. We're not a social frat. We don't get a house. My friends and I split the rent for this."

Jungkook rubs his neck, "I see."

You nod. "Wanna take my car or yours?"

Jungkook licks his lips, nervously. "Uh, yours."

You roll your eyes, opening the door so you can climb in. "Of course, get in."

Jungkook quickly rushes over to the passenger side, barely giving you enough time to move the crap you have thrown onto the seat into the back. Snagging a zip-up sweater, you quickly put it on before getting a good look at Jungkook in the car. You can't help but laugh a little by how scrunched up he is in the seat. The passenger side was Juli's and she was a heck of a lot tinier than him.

"Jungkook, why don't you move the seat?"

His eyes grow round and for a second you think it's actually kind of adorable. "Where? How?"

You think it's a little weird, but then you remember you're driving a 2001 Nissan Sentra and not a luxury car of any sort.

"Like this, dummy." You lean over him, causing Jungkook to scoot back as much as he can, his hand tight on the assist grip.

You look up from underneath your eyelashes at him, causing all kinds of flashbacks to run through his mind. To his surprise, the seat jerks back.

"There." You lean back into your seat, turning the car on, and backing out of the driveway.

"Oh, and put your seatbelt on, I don't have insurance."

Jungkook and you were in your own heads the entire car ride, Jungkook just enjoying the sunset and you just thinking about your friends. Specifically, you were thinking about the situation with Yoongi and how you know that, that kid can't keep his mouth shut. He was going to tell Juli and then what? How would you explain the pen and hoodie? She didn't know what happened between you and Jungkook at that party, much less the school bathroom. What if it wasn't even that big of a deal? Sure, he dissed your frat in the quad, but nobody got hurt. She even said she would've gotten on her knees for him, so she can't be mad that you did. Well actually, you didn't. You owned him first.

Jungkook glances at you, who's got your eyebrows all pinned together, clearly a little stressed. You've got your finger trapped between your teeth, nervously chewing on your fingernail. His eyes travel to your hair that you've messily thrown up at a red light. He likes how a strand of hair has slipped out and framed your face. There was something about how casual you were in front of him that he liked. Most girls would've probably dressed over the top even though it was just a quick trip to the store.

"We're here."

He raises his eyebrows, rolling his head to look at the glowing red letters reading: TARGET.

"Wow, finally. I was starting to think you were just going to travel somewhere you could kill and dispose of my body."

"Ha. Ha. I just didn't want anyone catching us."

"Together?"

"No, silly. Buying Plan-B together."

Jungkook slowly starts to smile wide. "Can you imagine if Dr. Lim saw us together?"

You snort, cracking a grin as well. "She'd probably be like 'I fucking knew it'."

The two of you walked into Target as if you did this every weekend, Jungkook grabbing a cart to scooter throughout the store. Instead of heading straight for the aisle with the pill, you both came to an agreement that you should probably buy a couple of other stuff and come to the aisle-that-should-not-be-named last. After looping around twice, you ended up with a couple of bags of chips, a liter of soda, a couple of skincare products, and some detergent.

"There, now it'll look like we just threw the pill into our casual shopping." You say, pretty pleased.

"Uhuh, so do you know where the pill is? Is it by the medicine?"

You grab onto the car, wheeling it in the direction you want it to go, Jungkook on the other end, pushing. "It's by the condoms. Something you would know if you used them."

Jungkook grunts, "I use condoms! I don't actively look for the pills. Besides, they're free at the wellness center. You've had to be pretty stupid to actually buy them. Oh wai-"

You shove the cart back, Jungkook letting out an "oof!" when it bangs against him.

"Some of us have dignity and pride." You mutter through your teeth. "How can you grab them with the lady at the front staring daggers at you?"

Jungkook shrugs, never really thinking about that. "You get used to it after the 100th time."

The number makes your head pound, Jungkook smirking as he watches your reaction. "Was I your first~?"

"What? No, if you were my first I wouldn't be performing acrobatics on your dick, stupid."

"Hm, okay, okay. Then I'm just among the few that you've done it with."

You close your lips, staring at his smug face before shoving the cart against him and walking away.

He was right, you only have had sex with a couple of people. But that was only because all of them turned into relationships and your relationships lasted a while. You weren't sure why it bothered you only now realizing that Jungkook's body count was higher. It's not like the two of you were going to get involved in any way. It most likely just stemmed from jealousy. Jealousy that Jungkook was out having fun with all these people, while you had wasted your time on relationships.

Turning into the aisle, you freeze in your spot upon laying eyes on someone that you haven't in a while. You almost wanted to double over in laughter because it was too much of a coincidence.

Standing right there near the pregnancy tests was your biggest waste of time/ex-boyfriend. Oh, and he also brought a friend: a tiny ash-blonde chick whose highlighted hair tells you she's got her life together. You thought about how if you turned around now, he wouldn't even see you. You'll just grab Jungkook, say that you forgot to grab something, then loop back in a couple of minutes.

Just as you take a step back, Jungkook emerges into the aisle, trapping you in. "Ha!"

Frick. You shut your eyes and press your lips together.

Jin turns around at the sound of the crash, surprised to see you after a year and a half. Funny how when you broke up, you guys weren't necessarily on bad terms, but it just ended up growing into this mutual hatred over time. The reason you two broke up was that you were busy and so was he, your schedules never syncing together. He initiated the breakup, and you were against it. Having given him 2 years, you weren't ready to let go.

"It really is you," Jin says, his girlfriend peeking from behind him. "Wow, how have you been?"

How have you been? You straighten yourself up, giving him a tight smile, "Good, things have been good."

Jungkook stares between you and Jin, reading the situation. Jin suddenly shifts his eyes over to him, smiling, holding no sincerity behind it.

"Glad to hear it. I was worried that you'd never get your life together."

Your heart dropped, suddenly remembering how Jin told people that you were an unorganized mess and that's why you never could find time for him.

Walking up to you him, you look up into his eyes, "Talking like that in front of your girlfriend? Wow, she must feel like she really picked a winner."

Looking at the pregnancy test in her hand, you smile at her. "Better hope that's negative."

Without another word, you hurry away, fuming and hating how embarrassed you felt that Jungkook witnessed the whole thing.

Jungkook quickly pushed the cart, following after you, but not before quickly snagging Plan B off the shelf, eyes narrowing at Jin as he did so.

It took him a couple of aisles until he found you standing in one, wiping the tears from your eyes aggressively, clueing Jungkook that you probably didn't want to be seen crying. Leaning against the outer shelf, he waits for you, giving you some privacy.

When you walk out, you lock eyes with Jungkook's who starts digging in his pockets.

"Oh, there you are! I was just starting to call-"

"I'm fine now. I'm not going to worry about him anymore."

Jungkook grins, scrunching his nose up, "Good because I'm going to make you cry ten times harder."

Leaning into you, he whispers, "If you know what I mean."

You gasp, shoving him lightly before heading towards the cash registers, Jungkook laughing as he follows behind.

"Fuuuck you and you and youuu~ I hate your friends and they hate me too~"

You and Jungkook sing while laying on your bed, drunk out of your minds. Both of you have your arms stretched up to the ceiling, flailing them around as you dance and sing your heart out.

Yoongi had texted you he was going to pull an all-nighter at the library, studying for an exam so you thankfully had the whole place to yourself, allowing you and Jungkook to get comfortable. For you, that meant putting on a baggy t-shirt and pajama shorts and for Jungkook that meant to strip down to his boxers and chill in just his shirt.

Sitting up, you look down at Jungkook who's face is flush pink because of the alcohol consumed. He gives you a sloppy and cheesy grin, one that causes your heart to unexpectedly jump around, something that he's probably done to hundreds of other girls. The only difference between them and you was that you were smart enough to not think too much of it. Instead, you consider it emotional foreplay. There was nothing wrong with letting your heart flip and fantasizing about things that couldn't be as long as you knew at the end that it was only to get you off and nothing else.

"You know what would make this sooo much better?" Jungkook sits up with you, bonking into your head.

"Ow!" You rub your forehead. "What?"

"This." He pulls you into his lap, his eyes drooping seductively as he helps you straddle him.

As you move in closer, your eyes remain locked onto his as if waiting for him to reveal he was kidding. Deep down, you both knew that it was wrong to get involved again, yet at the same time, it was hard to stop.

Feeling him underneath you, a spark travels up your body because of the sensitivity, the thin clothing not helping. Jungkook leans back against the headboard, hands traveling to your hips as he guides you to move them. He doesn't know what got into him, but he partly blames becoming horny after drinking too much.

Grinding down on him, your lips part to let out your uneven breathing. Jungkook starts to meet your grinds, your eyes going from looking at each other to suddenly watching below as you sped up, humping each other for pleasure. The only thing you could concentrate on was how good it felt and how dizzy you were becoming.

You jerk your hand to hold on to the headboard, flashbacks of the party reminding you how much better it would feel to have Jungkook actually inside of you. You wanted to just strip and jump on his cock again, but you controlled the urge, reminding yourself how much fun it is to be a tease.

"Fuck," Jungkook whispers with a sharp tongue. His movements were now overtaking your own, his grinds practically lifting your hips up higher as he grew more desperate, him too wanting to get rid of your clothing.

You smile, pleased that you had the upper-hand in the situation, your mind already coming up with the millions of ways to tease him, the very thought causing your core to drip. Feeling yourself almost on the brink of an orgasm, you hop off of Jungkook. Leaning back against the pillow, you quickly slide off your underwear and shorts in a hurry, kicking them off to then spread about your legs for Jungkook.

Shocked, Jungkook runs his fingers through his hair, watching you with jaw slightly dropped. Staring intensely at him, you bring down your hand to rub your coated core before focusing on rubbing circles on your clit, throwing your head back to hiss in bliss. Pleasing yourself felt so good, but knowing that Jungkook was watching you do it caused a pleasing knot in your stomach.

Jungkook was hard, like ready-to-bust hard. Watching your expression, Jungkook couldn't help but think about how sexy you looked and how he's really lucky to have messed with you. Good girls can do bad things sometimes, he had to remind himself (though, he's starting to think that good girls are just bad girls who haven't been caught). Right now, you were a real-life fantasy, and he knows now that this is something that no sext could ever accomplish for him.

"J-Jungkook," You intensely locked eyes with him, panting, "Have you had a girl orgasm on your face?"

Fuck. Jungkook shook his head, taking your hands moving from your pussy as an invitation to let his head between your legs. Without hesitation, he leaned in, his eyes closing as he smells your sweet arousal, your fingers threading through his hair to give it a firm tug.

"D-don't screw it up," you warned, your heart rate speeding up by the hot breaths against your pussy, causing you to shiver in anticipation.

Jungkook only moaned in response to the tug of his hair, diving right in by letting his tongue explore every inch of your cunt, letting you know how much he enjoyed giving head as he did receiving it. You sunk into the feeling, bucking your hips up as he delivers a kiss near your clit, a total teasing move that drove you wild. You wanted to keep your mewls in control, however, that was something that you really couldn't keep a secret from Jungkook. Grabbing a pillow, you use it to muffle your moans, hoping that the neighbors wouldn't assume somebody was being destroyed in any other fashion.

With the flat of his tongue, Jungkook delivers a long lick against your slit, causing your legs to tremble as you drawled out his name, "Jungkook!"

Reaching up, Jungkook fists the pillow that you have trapped in your hands, throwing it aside to let you know how displeased he is with the fact that you were drowning out your moans. He didn't care who heard and part of him getting off is knowing that others could hear your cries as he makes a mess out of you.

Getting a good taste of the juices that heavily flood out your cunt, Jungkook groans purposefully with pleasure. "Shit, your pussy tastes so sweet." He breathes against you, causing you to lift your hips again, trying to get him to place his tongue on your now aching and throbbing bud of nerves. "Damn, babygirl~"

"P-Please!" You practically sob, wanting your sweet release, already fearing how explosive it would be as it set through your body.

Jungkook pulls away slightly, loving how much the folds glistened as a result of how much you were dripping, your vagina clenching, letting him know that you were desiring to be filled up with. Imagining how pretty it would look with his cum spilling out of it, he bit down hard on his lip, his erection evident as he straightens up to throw off his shirt. Throwing your legs over his shoulders, he toys with your clit, pleased by how much you write in tune with your sounds of pleasure. Teasing the bud over and over, you wrap your legs around his head tightly, wanting more pressure to send you over the edge.

Panting erratically, you produce the sexiest cry that Jungkook's ever heard, and that's a major compliment from someone who now has to get to page 100 on Pornhub for a good video. Arching your back, you give Jungkook's locks a strong tug to which his cock twitches, swollen and eager for a touch. He would touch himself in a bit, but right now he was determined to make you cum by his tongue alone, a first for him since he normally doesn't eat a girl out.

"Fu..." Your breath strains, your head completely thrown back and jaw slack.

Jungkook quickly pulls away, your juices dripping down his chin as he watches your pussy quiver, your whole body trembling as you hands fist the bedsheets. You were almost there and the fire in Jungkook's eyes was clear as he admired your face, his hand sliding his boxers down as he freed his hard rod, his hand wrapping around his girth, stroking as he watches you orgasm.

"Oh~" You sigh with a euphoric smile after catching your breath, feeling the calm take over your body as you lay down in exhaustion, giggling slightly. You've never had a strong orgasm from head alone (though your past boyfriends weren't that determined).

You notice that Jungkook has already reached into his boxers, looking at you as he tends to his hard muscle in long lazy strokes. Letting out a quiet moan of relief, you realize that he's probably been aching this whole time, yet he didn't complain one bit, instead focused on your satisfaction. This causes a blush to rise to your cheeks, appreciative of the fact.

"Take your shirt off." He commands, voice deep, continuing to fondle himself.

You obey, slowly taking it off before reaching behind you to unclasp your bra, slipping it off to allow your boobs to be on full display, the nipples pointy just from Jungkook's strong gaze. He looked so hot right now, getting off by just admiring you, it set your ego through the roof.

"Are you going to cum on these, Jungkook?" You playfully cup them, squeezing them and moaning lightly.

"Or are you going to cum here?" You stick your tongue out, leaning forward as you open your mouth for him.

"Fuck, ___," He breathes, his sweaty fringe falling over his eyes, his thumb rubbing over the base of his head, before twisting his wrist to keep stroking the full length of his dick.

"Hmm, what if I decide not to let you~," You tease with new confidence.

"Please," he begs, his hand speeding up.

"No, I'm a good girl, remember." You bat your eyelashes his way, a smirk on your face.

Jungkook growls lowly, his hand tugging on the back of your hair as punishment, causing you to let out a pleased sigh, looking at his eyes, daring for him to do it again.

There it was. The challenge that Jungkook loved so much.

Crawling over you , you have no choice but to lie down on your back, biting on your lip as you look up at him. "What are you going to do to me, Jeon?"

Jungkook looks down at you, his necklace dangling over you, your finger going up to entwine it. You give him a tug, Jungkook's hand going to the side of you as he stops himself from crushing down on you. Your lips hover over each other and you think about kissing him, but you don't. If you were to do so, you would cross a line.

You feel Jungkook's breath over your lips, but only for a short while before he turns his head to the side, sitting up again. You let out a breath that you didn't realize you were holding in.

Jungkook traces your lips with his thumb, pulling down your bottom lip slightly. "You're such a fucking tease."

Before taking it into your mouth, you give him a smile, mouthing "choke me, you won't". Jungkook smirks letting you suck on his finger while your eyes remained set on each other. He curses before finally wrapping his hand around your neck which causes your lids to flutter close, your lips parting as he spreads your legs and guides his cock into you. Surprised, you gasp, your heart flipping by the fullness between your legs, the surge running through your body again.

"I'll do more than just choke you," Jungkook whispers into your ear, starting to move his hips to thrust into you, burying his cock deep each time. You gasp, throwing your head back slightly, as he starts ramming inside of you. You clench around him tightly, Jungkook letting a "shit" slip past his lips as he releases his hand from your neck, placing his forearm on the side of you as he pumps into you faster, concentrating on his release. Hearing his ragged breaths, you know he's close so you wrap your legs around him, a string of satisfied mewls spilling past your lips, mostly to just get him off.

It only takes him a couple of strokes more before he pulls out, fingers wrapping around your chin as he pulls you forward, commanding with his eyes for you to open your mouth. You do, looking up at him as he fills up your mouth with his cum. You try not to gag as it hits the back of your throat, but it's hard when your mouth becomes overfilled, the cum dripping out.

"Swallow like a good girl~" Jungkook teases, chest heavily rising and falling as he looks down at you.

You swallow, opening your mouth to show him your tongue.

Weakened by the satisfaction, Jungkook lays down beside you, throwing his arm over his eyes, busy trying to catch his breath.

You shudder playfully, "Ugh, salty."

"Shut up," he grins.

You lay down beside him, staring at his face. To your surprise, Jungkook rolls his head over as well, turning his body towards you.

"Jungkook?"

"Hm?"

"Why are we doing this?"

Jungkook chuckles, slightly sleepy, struggling to keep his eyelids open, "For the hell of it?"

You smile a little, a hint of sadness to your tone, "Well, it's got to stop."

He scrunches his nose up, "Does it?"

You nod.

"Why?" He whispers, eyes closing for a bit before opening slowly. "Can this last a little longer?"

Bringing up your hand to his face, you gently close his eyelids one by one. After a few seconds, you realize that Jungkook had fallen asleep.

Slipping out of bed, you head to the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth and get ready for bed. As you did, you thought about how Jungkook wanted to keep whatever kind of relationship you guys had going. Did he mean like a friend with benefits thing? Like a secret? A whenever-I-feel-like it thing? or possibly a relationship?

The last one was laughable, you'll admit. How ironic would it be if you wanted something no strings attached, and he wanted to pursue a relationship? It didn't matter because you weren't going to ask him any of it since it didn't make a difference. You weren't going to get in any kind of relationship with anybody soon. You wanted to explore and protect your heart a little longer.

After all, you could only tame a bad boy for so long before they revert to their habits.

Returning to bed, you pull the covers over Jungkook before climbing on top of the blanket, sleeping an arm's length away, knowing that in a few hours, he wouldn't even be there.

Jungkook awoke to the sound of someone coming into the house. His eyes sprung open, heart skipping a beat as he heard a voice calling for you.

"___, I brought breakfast. Are you up? Sheesh, it's already 11."

Jungkook leans his head forward in surprise, tapping his phone on the nightstand to confirm that it's indeed 11.

Fuck.

He didn't know what to do in this situation. Usually girls were the ones who were leaving his place, now it just felt weird that he had to.

Jungkook tried to elbow you awake, but you only rolled over, falling back asleep. Seriously?

"__," Yoongi called again, his hand going to your door knob.

Jungkook quickly lept up, leaning against the door to prevent it from opening.

"Are you mad? I didn't tell Juli, you know. I know you think I tell her everything, but you should know that you and I were friends first, okay?"

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, confused by what you and Yoongi could have possibly been talking about before.

"I left the sweater behind the door...Just...just come out and explain everything when you're ready, alright? I'll be in my room."

Sweater?

Jungkook leaned off the door, flipping through all the hoodies on the hook. He wasn't sure he would understand what Yoongi meant by it, but curiosity got to him. He stopped once his hand got placed on a familiar gray one. It can't be...

"Can't get high, I left my weed pen in my sweater."

Jungkook quickly searched the pockets, closing his eyes once he felt the familiar shape of Taehyung’s weed oil pen. Taking it out, his heart sinks at the sight of it.

"Where's your sweater?"

"With my girl."

Jungkook's jaw dropped, scoffing.

Taehyung was there. Taehyung watched as Jungkook threw the invitation your way. Taehyung saw Jungkook take you up those stairs to his bedroom. Taehyung fucking knew.

He knew you were off limits.

Yet something happened between you two and everyone seemed to know, except Jungkook who was left in the dark.

Seething, Jungkook took the pen, quickly getting dressed as he stared at you on the bed, knowing he was right after all.

There are no good girls, only bad girls that haven't been caught.

And you?

You've been busted.

___________________

Author's note;;

I cannot believe the response I’ve been getting for this fic on here!! Thank you all for reading this and I hope that I won’t disappoint. Fun fact, this chapter already has four parts out and there was like 2 years between parts 3 and 4 LOL It’s cross posted on AO3 as well.

NEXT CHAPTER >

#Jungkook smut #BTS smut #Jeon Jungkook #Jungkook x reader #Jeon Jeongguk #fratboy!jk #fratboy jungkook #college au #jungkook college au #jungkook fanfic #jungkook ff #enemies to lovers jungkook #taehyung x reader #lovetriangle #taehoneys #Bad Guy #Bad Guy!JK

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rumblelibrary · 3 years

Note

hii!! i saw your requests are open, if you’re not too busy could you write something about Laszlo falling in love with reader (she’s a friend of Sara’s and helping with the case) but he keeps trying to avoid his feelings and remain professional and friendly until then he gets jealous of Marcus (or maybe John whoever you think works best) and starts being mean and pushing her away and then John or Sara are like “really?? can you not see that she likes you?” and he apologizes and it’s all fluffy at the end??

that was a bit long sorry, i hope you’re having a great day💗💗

Worlds Apart [Dr Laszlo Kreizler x Reader]

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Laszlo being his usual adorable dumbass

Author’s note: Thank you so much for giving me the chance to write your story, hope you’ll enjoy it 💗💗

The first time your presence graced him was on an infamous rainy day. He didn’t mind rain, but it was the kind of storm that forced kids inside the Institute and some of them really benefitted of the time spent outside. So when you appeared at his doorstep escorted by Cyrus, a little of wetness on your shoulders and your hat, arms tightly grasping a big bunch of paper folders, untouched by the heavy weather clearly at your expenses, you looked like a gift from the above.

“Sara Howard contacted me, My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I work for the Town Hall Archives” you introduced yourself, a polite smile softening him. “It is my pleasure to finally meet you, Dr Kreizler” you added.

He blinked realising he was staring while your words moved past him without affecting him.

“Please, Sara told me you are going to be vital in the unravelling of this case, call me Laszlo”

He opened his arm on side letting you in as Cyrus walked away closing the door behind himself. A sense of guilt creeping over him, he realised how low his mind went to appreciate your physical side first and your sweet smile next, if men were anything different from the beasts, then why indulge still in such raw details. From that moment on, he decided, he would not do you the same disrespect. Little he knew that once he forbid himself to take grace of the sight of you, he would be overwhelmed by your bright mind. As you exposed those files to him you two started working together, day after day, time after time, a little dance of turning pages, soft smile, excited discoveries. Your smile affecting him in unpredicted ways, your good heart weakening his mask, your calm demure forbidding his raging fits. Anything of you made him better, any part of you was loved and worshipped by him, your position quickly transitioning from helpful hand, to admirable being and now to an ideal. A sense of necessity creeping over him every time you closed the space between the two of you to show him something, every time he stared at you wrapped up some archive ladder to find this or that file. Another thing you earned from him with time, the hardest maybe, was the ability to make him chuckle. You weren’t a goofball but you knew when to break down his thought process to bring him back to a quieter state. He liked you, he was even considering to offer you to leave the Town Hall Archives to work as his secretary at the Institute. The benefits of your presence made his work better and your natural tendency to method blessing his day to day activities with balance. Laszlo didn’t like to admit it, but a sense of possessiveness was also growing on him, he knew what was going on in his mind, or to better say it in his heart, but he refused to acknowledge it. The case was on, after the case maybe.

Or maybe never.

That’s what he thought when, after an interview at the house of a potential future patient of the institute, he took a stroll on the main road, his eyes darting on the flower shop only to recognise you there. Your figure associated with the colourful gifts of nature made his heart skip a beat, a sense of joy filled him soon to disappear when Marcus Isaacson figure appeared beside you holding three or four different kind of flowers in large bouquets, all of them meaning something love related: attraction, desire, kinship.

Those meanings pestered his thoughts, your soft laugh hitting his ears like an angel choir. Your hand lifting up as Marcus bowed his head toward you, your bare fingers running through his curls pulling out some wild leaf that got tangled among them.

“Silly me” he chanted like a child that has zero guilt about earning something undeserved “Come on Y/N, pick your favourite, I can’t hold them all forever”.

Laszlo’s eyes narrowed on him, hating the urgency in his voice, before drifting on the big bouquets, the carnations attracting his gaze, the meaning: pure love, faithfulness, also motherly love.

“The carnations” you said without a doubt moving your arms among the flower to pick them, the closeness you shared rubbing Laszlo in the wrong way.

A sudden realisation hitting him, rage boiling as he turned on his heels to rush to the Institute. What a fool he was, mistaking your natural kindness for…what? Interest for a cripple? Tenderness for a lonely angry man? His jaw clenched, rage surging through him, on that day the door of his office slammed so hard nobody dared to call for him, not even for dinner. When the next day you came to bring some papers and revise some new information, he was keeping a two meters distance all the time, if not more. Anything you said was welcomed with sounds the usual good morning disappeared.

“Laszlo” you called him after more than one hour spent welcomed by only silence and grunts “Did something happen? Maybe, I could help..”

“What exactly gives the impression I need your help?” He shot back before you could even mutter another sentence or even conclude the one you just begun.

His eyes raising from the papers he was holding, his hand moved to his glasses taking them off “As far as my knowledge goes, you’re here to support the investigation with documents and research, not to interfere with my personal life or a job like mine that requires not only tact but also a severe respect of the patient’s privacy”

You closed your mouth suddenly as he never reacted in such a way toward you. Usually he seemed to like to engage with you, to hear your thoughts and opinions, now his hard glare was dooming over you like the Judgment Day.

“I apologise” you resumed to say, maybe it was a bad day, those bad days John teased him about so many times, but that you never encountered before.

So you moved back to your spot respecting the distance he wanted, he put his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

Nothing more was said.

That evening when you were about to leave you thanked him and wished him a good night, as you always did. Silence again, only one hand to be lifted as he didn’t even turn to talk to you. His reaction gutted you and from that day on to visit him turned into the heaviest hours of the day. There was no room for chat, no room for accommodation. You even brought some sweets one day thinking he might like it and he handed those just as quickly to the kids. You even asked him if you wronged him and he said there was nothing wrong.

After two weeks like this, you sat behind your desk at the Town Hall resigned to live with his silence, you stared at a little note he wrote to you once to thank you of your help with some documents titles underneath.

I admire your dedication to the case. Your help is invaluable L.K.

You read, but that didn’t stand anymore, for some reason.

“What’s that long face for?”

Sara asked leaning against your desk as you slipped that piece of paper underneath your notebook. You already gave Laszlo all the documents requested, you could throw that away, but you didn’t.

“I think I upset Dr Kreizler”

Sara looked at you surprised by the way you resumed calling him by his title, like you were trying to gain distance from him. You looked at her incisive look as you quietly explained to her your fears and doubts, what was going on and how you probably should ask John a way to repair the situation, because you were clueless. After your conversation Sara didn’t think about it twice and after concluding her duties she stormed at Laszlo’s office only to find him engaged in the billionth argument with John.

“What have you told to Y/N?”

She asked, a proper mad mama bear as she stared at him mercilessly, she was aiming for the throat and John looked at him puzzled.

“What have you done Laszlo? Having a fine woman interested on you hits so differently?”

Laszlo was about to answer Sara when he suddenly felt attacked on too many fronts.

“Wait, I beg your pardon? I think you have got into some mistake, John”

John looked at him and then at Sara as she shook her head impatiently and already fed up with Laszlo’s ways.

“She does like you Laszlo, where is your problem about it?” She inquired more “Is she not a doctor enough for your likings? Do you want a duchess or something? Because I don’t understand, if you’re not interested to her at least be human”

By this moment Laszlo was still incredule and a chuckle almost left his lips

“I think you are mistaken Sara, Y/N is in a relationship with Marcus Isaacson, I stumbled upon them already”

“Marcus? I thought he was seeing that Esther girl, Lucius complained about his lack of focus more than once, how did you manage to erase her interest that quick Laszlo?” John said surprised and Sara had to hold onto her iron will not to slap the both of them in their faces.

“You two are worse than any little town blabbermouth” she snapped.

John frowned feeling accused and Laszlo was ready to give her a lecture that could last until the end of times when you walked inside in a rush.

“Excuse me” you said out of breath, mud stained your dress as you clearly run your way to her Institute handing them a file “This just came”.

You gulped down as Sara glared at Laszlo while she guided you to have a glass of water.Laszlo studied the document without even acknowledging your presence, another victim served on a plate.

That evening he went to see the body, the Isaacson’s giving a full display of the wounds and marks on the body to him and John. By the rules of the obituary, you and Sara weren’t welcomed inside as they were. You sat silently, slowly tracing the stain on your skirt thinking how bad Laszlo’s impression of you must be now that you even showed yourself in such an improper manner, such a gentleman like him witnessing you in such a state. When they came out of the obituary Sara stood up as you remained sat, the warm presence of Laszlo now hunting you like a ghost every time he is around.

“The murderer knows we re close” Laszlo stated as he sighed, ashamed that another life was lost “I think that this victim in particular..”

“Y/N!”

Marcus interrupted him rushing out of the obituary with his bloody apron still on, his less than sanitary clean hand on your shoulder as Laszlo was ready to reduce the both of you to dust for interrupting him.

“Excuse me Doctor” Marcus head shot up to him before looking back down at you “Thank you for helping with the gifts, Esther adored them, we are going out again tonight” he said excitedly to you and a big smile, the first of the day, blossomed on your lips.

“I told you, you should trust me more often” you said and he nodded vehemently “If things go this good, I will come to ask you to help me with the ring” he said completely hyped up, bouncing curls everywhere, as you crossed your fingers for him and he repeated the gesture before disappearing again called by his brother who was fed up with his love talks already.

Sara crossed her arms as John’s stare went up to Laszlo’s face, the sudden realisation of his mistake hit him like a bag of bricks. A mix of shame and happiness filling him up. And now the doubt: did he ruined his chances forever? The next morning you came into his office, you never stopped wishing him good morning and being polite, no matter his attitude.

“Y/N” he called you as you were placing your belongings aside. Your surprised look due to his softened tone was unmissable to him.

“Come here, I wish to talk to you”

You grew nervous as he didn’t say much else, so you walked to him sitting on the couch beside him, the one where you shared so many talks not too long before, even if now it felt like an eternity.

“I want to apologise to you” he blurted out all together, no need to move around the topic even though that only affirmation run over you harder than any other phrase.

You didn’t reply, allowing him to proceed.

“I apologise, because I have been selfish and foolish” he said, the fingers of his left hand touching nervously the armchair “I have been mistreating you only because my pride was hurt, I have acted like a man without means and courage.”

You parted your lips but he interrupted you before you could even begin.

“Please, let me finish, I have felt from the beginning a prominent fondness toward you. Your character and your kindness make you a remarkable person, you have the talent of bringing out the best out of most people, me included. But I have misread your ways and pointed your natural disposition to a form of romantic interest directed on me and our common friend Marcus Isaacson”

He was still excluding the possibility of you being attracted to him.

“I thought there was something behind it and I acted like a child instead of asking you directly, and I am ashamed for that”

You stared at him, a little smile creeping onto your lips.

“I think you misread only half of the situation Laszlo, as always you’re too unkind on yourself” you said gathering all the courage you had “because my interest toward you was honest while my relationship with Marcus is nothing by friendly”

Now it was Laszlo’s turn to be silenced, a new realisation creeping into his bones, a hope becoming a possibility.

“And is that honest interest still alive after my despicable ways?”

Your smile grew pulled by the redness spreading on your cheeks.

“Maybe” he interrupted. He didn’t want to wait for your answer, your smile spoke for you “maybe we can further bring this conversation to Delmonico’s, tonight, just the two of us”

Your smile grew bigger, his eyes shining for you.

“It will be my pleasure” you answered only, not knowing a bouquet of carnations was already being delivered at your house to welcome you once you’ll be back.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief@thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio Let me know if you want to get tagged too <3

#dr laszlo kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler x you #dr laszlo kreizler imagine #dr laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler fanfiction #laszlo kreizler x y/n #laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreisler x reader #laszlo kreizler fanfic #laszlo kreizler x you #laszlo kreizler imagine #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler headcanons

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torpublishinggroup · 2 years

Text

Last Exit to Playlist

By Max Gladstone

I wanted to write a road novel. I wanted to write a book about friends grown apart, a book that drew on memories and dreams and journals of bouncing around the country all summer in the back seat of a Plymouth Voyager, a book that understood space and could chew time. So, I needed a mixtape.

I used to do this for every road trip. There was a different art to it when you had to fit your vibe into a forty-five minute A side and a forty-five minute B. Poets know: constraint breeds creativity. You start to understand why radio singles used to have long outros, which lets the DJ choose the right moment to crossfade, and fit the tune to their set. I loved the challenge, and the music would set the tone for the trip. So: why not make a mixtape for a road trip into my own imagination?

This wasn’t a playlist for the process itself, the actual word-by-word writing. In the flow, I drift between ambient albums, chiptunes, soundtracks, games music, jazz. I find tracks that have the right vibe or rhythm and drop them into a giant “writing music” folder, where live ancient OCReMix tracks based on the Morrowind title theme or the Chrono Trigger soundtrack. I do whatever works. But this wasn’t a playlist to write by—this was a playlist to help me think through what I was thinking through. And the road, for me, is songwriter country.

Good Man - Josh Ritter, The Animal Years

The Animal Years was my first Ritter album. I played it again and again in my bedroom in southeast China late at night as the Iraq War kept on being bad. The Animal Years casts a prophet’s eye on America—clear, visionary, angry—and any three of its songs could have made it to this list, but the album resolves on this note of tired, broke-down grace. Even in its earliest iterations, I knew the book that turned into Last Exit would start after what felt like the end—after the breaking point, when the young kids who thought they could save the world tried, failed, and broke up. None of them have yet reached the promise this song holds out—of rest, of, at least, friendship—but it gave me, and them, something to steer toward.

Tangled Up in Blue - The Indigo Girls, 1200 Curfews

I’m a Dylan fan, but—something magical happens when you give Dylan songs to someone else. Jimi Hendrix’s All Along the Watchtower is the iconic version. And the Indigo Girls’ cover of Tangled Up in Blue takes this raw and wry tale of wandering around the country, wondering what the hell happened to your generation, and layers in passion and mourning. In Dylan’s version, the narrator feels resigned—of course it all went down like that, it couldn’t have happened any other way, people are just like that and you have to understand. Here, the narrator cares. She misses what she’s lost, and even though she’s getting through, she’s angry about it. That gave me the right touchstone for Zelda, for my main character: memory and loss, regret and anger, and a worn-down determination.

Democracy - Leonard Cohen, Live in London

Speaking of prophecies. “It’s coming with the feel that it ain’t exactly real, or it’s real, but it ain’t exactly there.” In this version, gravelly and terrifying, Cohen unsettles. It’s Democracy by way of The Future, and you feel the hope, but you have to concede—it is murder. In earlier recordings, this song can feel triumphant, but by Live in London, you can’t tell whether it’s a prophecy of salvation or of Armageddon. Maybe both.

Galahad - Josh Ritter, To the Yet Unknowing World

I heard this song for the first time live, and I went home and listened to it a dozen times in the next day. I love that walking-beat drum, like a cane echoing on a marble floor. I love the sly and vicious sense of humor. I love how virtue twists in this song—how nothing’s quite what it sets itself out or up to be. You have to look under the surface. And the King Arthur mythos, as slantwise as we see it here, really speaks to me in an American country/folk/blues setting. It’s the one you read in Steinbeck’s The Acts of King Arthur, or in Tortilla Flat. Kings and knights in a land without knights and kings.

Tear My Stillhouse Down - Gillian Welch, Revival

Gillian Welch is one of those songwriters who leaves you certain you’ve just heard a song that’s a hundred years old.

The Hobo Song - Old & In the Way, Old & In the Way

A track about being lost at the end of your part in the American story. Old & In the Way is a tremendous project—Pete Rowan, Jerry Garcia, David Grisman on mandolin, John Kahn, and of course all-star Vassar Clements’s elegant, barn-burning fiddle. I could have a dozen of their songs on this playlist. Speaking of which…

Panama Red - Old & In the Way, Old & In the Way

I’m honestly not sure what this song is doing here as opposed to, say, Land of the Navajo which has more of the cosmic vision I aimed for in Last Exit. Maybe it’s just that Panama Red is a great name. Maybe it’s that cowboy vibe. Maybe the tape needed a moment to breathe.

Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show, O.C.M.S.

You too, perhaps, have heard this one at every bonfire you’ve attended since the mid year-zeroes, and I hope that when you did, you had the fullness of heart to join in and sing. It’s had a lot of play, and it’s probably been used to sell some SUV somewhere, and that’s fine, but for me when I hear this song, it’s late at night, I’m in the middle of the People’s Republic of China, far away from anyone and everything I grew up beside and especially from the Cumberland Gap and Johnson City, Tennessee, and a visiting buddy has just handed me a thumb drive with some music on it, and—well. I worked out the fiddle part that night.

I Hear Them All - Old Crow Medicine Show, O.C.M.S.

The world is a hard place and there are lots of people hurting, and all that pain is a bright and fearful light. We close down in the face of it. David Rawlings, Gillian Welch’s guitarist collaborator, has a great version of this song, too, which could be on this list, but the O.C.M.S. version is the one I heard first.

Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn, Marc Cohn

Look, okay, look. Just…look.

Silver Thunderbird - Marc Cohn, Marc Cohn

You’ll have noticed a lot of doubled artists on this track list, and to be honest, some of that’s because I took out the album looking for one song, saw the other, and couldn’t resist adding it. In this case, I couldn’t pull out the Mark Cohn album without adding Walking in Memphis—”She said/ Tell me are you a Christian child?/ And I said ‘Ma’am I am tonight’”—but Silver Thunderbird was why I got the album out in the first place. It’s a haunting, brief song about being a kid, about your parents, about shoes you can’t quite grow into—and about a car. I’ve never been a Car Person, and maybe because I’m not, I don’t have the contempt familiarity can breed. For me, a few cars have a mythic heft. The Thunderbird is one, and so’s the Dodge Challenger, which features in Last Exit. I can’t say quite what it is about the Challenger. It’s a haunting design. It’s the car that idles at the corner, as if waiting for something. It’s the car that the man in the hat drives when he comes to town.

Pancho and Lefty - Townes Van Zandt

I could write whole essays on Townes Van Zandt. He’s a tradition all to himself. Every one of his songs is a vision.

Across the Great Divide - Nanci Griffith, Other Voices, Other Rooms

It’s hard to write this entry now—I started and stopped and started and stopped again—because I haven’t come to terms with Nanci Griffith’s passing. Artists exist in strange ways. A writer you’ve never met remains as alive to you in their books as they ever were. We put on an album, and the ghosts sing to us. John M. Ford once wrote: the train stops, but the line goes on.

The Queen and the Soldier - Suzanne Vega, Suzanne Vega

In college, I was fortunate to take a class from John Crowley, and in an offhand way as he was trying to make another point in a lecture, he touched on the way certain words gather and hold power—ring, or cup, or sword. I’ve often wished I could go back in time and replay those five minutes of lecture—I knew I was hearing something important, but trying to hold it in my mind felt like trying to hold a river. This song is about that power, I think, and it communicates in those words—the dream we have of the world, and the distance between that dream and the world. There’s something young about the magic of those words. For a kid, the dream that a word like sword suggests can be clear and bright, even (especially?) because of its distance from the world we know. Do we ever look for the truth behind the dream? What happens when we do? Can we bear to leave the old world behind? Even as it strangles us?

Jack’s Crow - John Gorka, Jack’s Crows

This is a drifting dream-song for me, not so much the storm as the darkening on the horizon, that feeling in the air before things change. It’s autumn: not as the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, but as a season of coming darkness, as a season of threat and prophecy. For me this is a song for long stretches of road, for weeds and roadside gravel. It’s magic seeping out of the shadows. Calling us.

I’m from New Jersey - John Gorka, Jack’s Crows

To be honest, I like to end on a note of contrast. You can’t stay in grim prophecy all the time. I’m not from New Jersey originally, but my dad is, and we did some growing up in Ohio, so a line like—”I’m from New Jersey/it’s like Ohio/but even more so/imagine that”—I can’t resist it. But listening to it again now, I’m struck by the opening and closing line, which is more true than I expected to Last Exit, in its totality: “I’m from New Jersey/I don’t expect too much/If the world ended today/I would adjust.” The end of the world is coming. So: what can we do?

This isn’t the only playlist I could have made for this book—entire Mary Gauthier albums should be on here, for example, and Anais Mitchell’s Young Man in America, and there’s no Alabama 3 (which I think we’re now required to call A3 in the States for trademark reasons?) only because I was listening to them a lot at the time and I wasn’t sure how I felt about including a British project even if they have such intense Americana energy on projects like M.O.R. Tenacious D’s The Road belongs on here for pure contrast and humor purposes—I can imagine more than one character in Last Exit saying, “Why can’t I stay in one place for more than two days? Why??”

The music I wrote to, in the end, was silence, and the Mad Max: Fury Road soundtrack, and Makaya McCraven, and, in revision, the truly wild The Comet Is Coming album called Trust in the Lifeforce of the Deep Mystery. But as a mission statement, as a call to adventure, as a map—to the thematic territory, or just to the wall I meant to bash my head against—it did the job. It mapped a few of the cracks in the world. It gave me a cowboy and a car and it gave me loss, and absent friends.

And it left me looking for a tape deck.

╔═══════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ═══════╝

MAX GLADSTONE is a fencer, a fiddler, and the winner of the Hugo and Nebula Awards for This is How You Lose the Time War, co-written with Amal El-Mohtar. A two-time finalist for the John W. Campbell Award, he is fluent in Mandarin and has taught English in China. He is also the author of the Craft Sequence of novels—a Hugo Award finalist, a game developer, and the showrunner for the fiction serial, Bookburners. Max lives and writes in Somerville, Massachusetts.

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

The Nanny ~ Bang Chan [Request]

WORD COUNT: 7.8K

GENRE: Fluffy,fluff and fluff, Non Idol AU, Single dad Au,

PAIRING: Bang Chan x Nanny!Female!Reader

A/N: I hope that this is okay for you sweetie!!!

"How do you know this guy still wants a nanny?" You questioned your best friend Felix as he pulled up outside a large home, he cut the engine off and shook his head at you. The whole drive over you'd been silent which he knew was a sign of you overthinking, he'd known you long enough to know all of the signs of it. He'd been your roommate for four years he knew you better than you knew yourself at this point.

"Because he's done nothing but complain to us at work about needing a nanny all week, what's the big deal? You're qualified for the job." It was true that you were extremely qualified to nanny for someone but you'd never been a live-in Nanny before which was the part that was scaring you the most. Felix had come to you one night claiming he had the perfect job for you, someone at his job was complaining about not having a Nanny for his 5-year-old daughter and needed one. The thought of living with people you barely knew terrified you but Felix assured you that the man you would be working for was great. He'd known him for the last three years at their job and the man was perfect, not to mention his daughter was one of the cutest little girls Felix had ever met in his life. A little 5-year-old bundle of joy.

"What if he's a creep at home? What if he hits on me? What if he's secretly a serial killer?!" You questioned as you got out of the car and Felix began heading up to the front door of the house he knew too well. Chan and Felix had been close since he started working there which was why Felix knew you and Chan would get along brilliantly together and have a good workflow.

Felix rolled his eyes as he listened to you come up with poor excuses not to get on with the interview and go back home, there was no way he was going to let you get out of this one since he knew how desperate you were for a new nanny gig. Looking after kids were something you'd dreamt of doing your whole life and for the last six years, you'd been looking after a 12-year-old boy until he turned 18 and the family no longer had a need for you. Not to mention Chan had lost his wife three years ago and hadn't dated or seemed interested in anyone since.

"It'll be good for you to get hit on, I don't remember the last time you even went on a date," Felix pulled a playful disgusted face and you rolled your eyes at him ignoring his attempts to make you feel better about all of this but it wasn't working. You were seriously nervous about meeting someone you didn't know anything about except for his name, Chan, that was all Felix told you about him. That and he was one of the producers that helped Felix write and produce songs at their entertainment company so the guy was constantly busy.

"This is serious Lix," You tried to tell him but he was already laughing softly.

"Trust me, Chan is not creepy and you'll love his daughter." Before you could even argue on it even more Felix rang the doorbell so you would shut up and then you were left alone with your thoughts. All of them creeping in about how you didn't know someone you were going to live with, you barely knew what his daughter was like and you knew you would be spending 90% of your time with them from now on if you got the job. Then the good thoughts crawled in, the pay was exceptionally great since you would be living inside their house, it was someone Felix knew which meant it would be easier and more relaxed to get to know the family.

"Hi!" You heard a male voice call out who you assumed was Chan call out through the closed door followed by some loud playful yelling and squealing out.

"Lix!? Open the door, Areum is currently running around covered in paint and I can't get her," Felix chuckled to himself as he pushed the large white front door open revealing the rest of the house to you. The door opened up into a small porch, directly in front of you were some carpeted stairs and to your right was an archway leading to the living room. The place seemed huge from where you were standing, nothing like you would have pictured it either. The floors were all laminated with brown wood, the walls were white, black leather sofas and a faux fur rug were on the floor.

"Hey you, come here!" A breathy chuckle came through the air and you saw a little girl screaming as she dripped paint onto the floor. She was darting towards the archway laughing wildly at her father, she had dark brown hair and the once black outfit she was wearing seemed to be mostly covered in white kiddy paint. The sight alone was enough to make you giggle a little as she rushed past you and Felix and around the sofa to avoid her father.

"Areum! We have guests!" Chan laughed as he almost caught up to her, you watched as a taller blonde male came into sight. He was wearing a black dress shirt with black jeans, probably not the best thing to be wearing whilst chasing a child with paint.

"Can you guys grab her? She's a slippery little girl today," You slid off your shoes and pushed your bag behind you on the floor as you began looking at Felix who went around one side of the sofa. It was a silent plan between the two of you on how to trap Areum and get her to give up the paint.

"I'm going to get your Areum!" Felix called out whilst wiggling his fingers as if he was going to tickle her making her jump up and squeal before running in the opposite direction towards you. You smiled as you saw her running in your direction, a smile filling her cheeks as she looked up at you. For a second you thought she would run over and hide behind your legs since you seemed to be the only other female presence in the room but she didn't.

"Hey!" You called out as she almost reached you but turned around at the last second to avoid you, you managed to grab her carefully and lift her into the air giggling as she laughed at you.

"Spin me!" She cried out as you laughed softly turning her around in small circles on the spot she started laughing again before whining that she was dizzy. You carefully set her down on the ground and took the paint from her hands as she wobbled over to stand by Felix greeting him with a hug.

"Lix can you take Areum for a bath?" Chan laughed as he came over to you to introduce himself properly to you, he held out his hand to shake yours when he noticed the paint on the both of you and stopped himself. He sighed nodding over to the kitchen door as he walked with you,

"Come to the kitchen, we can clean up and I'll do the interview there." He chuckled as he took you into the kitchen. It was larger than your kitchen back in your shared home with Felix, there were white marbled counters lining the room with a kitchen island in the middle of the room.

"I'm Y/n by the way," You told him as you reached the kitchen sink washing your hands under the hot water before dumping the empty tube of white paint into a nearby bin. He thanked you as he dried his own hands on a towel, giving it to you once he was done with it.

"Is Areum always like that?" You laughed out as you dried your hands on a towel listening to Felix who was currently singing loudly to Areum. Chan shook his head at you as he took you over to a small dining room just off from the kitchen. It had a round table inside with paperwork and folders all over it, you assumed it was paperwork for the job interview he was about to do with you.

"Not all of the time, she's just had a little too much sugar this morning and went wild. Saturday mornings are Weetabix days and...She got her hands on the sugar," He groaned out at himself as he thought back on the memory.

"I'd only turned away for two seconds," He laughed as he shook his head pulling out a chair across from him so you could sit down with him. As soon as you were settled he smiled up at you, there was something about him that seemed familiar. His dyed-blonde hair was throwing you off a little but you felt as though you knew him from somewhere,

"I should introduce myself properly right? That's how people do job interviews?" You relaxed as soon as you realised Chan was new at all of this as well and seemed a little more nervous about it than you did.

"I'm Christopher Bang, I go by Chan to everyone though as I just prefer it." He smiled at you flashing a dimple and that was when it hit you where you knew him from. The dimple and his full name hitting you as though someone had just flicked a switch inside of your head.

"C-Christopher Bang from Kinsella High School?" His eyes wandered up to your face as he nodded slowly wondering how you knew which school he had attended and you smiled as you realised it was him.

"Y/n! We went to the same school, I was in a couple of your classes!" You laughed softly as you finally placed where you knew him from. He and the main Cheerleader, Seo Nayeon were high school sweethearts back in school which made your heart sink as you remembered what Felix had told you. Chan had been a struggling single father since his wife died three years ago leaving him alone with Areum. The thought of Nayeon not being around anymore hurt, you'd been quite close in school but when you both went to different universities you drifted apart.

"Its good to see you again! I remember you from my English literature class and I think you were on the team with Nayeon right?" You nodded your head from side to side at him that was only partly true,

"Not officially on the team, I would just do all the girls hair and makeup for them." You laughed remember the good memories from your high school years. Not many people could claim they had a nice time in school but for what it was worth yours was pretty good.

"It's nice to see you again," He meant it this time, now he felt as though he didn't have to have too much of a rough time getting to know you. He didn't want the whole process to be slow and boring so it made it easier to know you had something in common together. You both smiled at one another before he continued on with the interviewing process.

"I mean the last decision is down to Areum but I think you should have the job," Chan laughed as you walked through to the living room together. The interview was just the two of you catching up on what you had been doing since leaving high school, it didn't felt as though two hours had passed at all. Sitting on the sofa was the same girl who less than two hours ago was screaming the entire place down but now she was curled up on Felix's lap with a bowl of popcorn in her hands. She was like a completely different person from before, she was in a complete state of relaxation now.

"I decide on what daddy?" She questioned as she sat up to look over at you both watching you closely as though she was trying to eye you up.

"Would you like Y/n here to be your nanny?" Chan watched as Areum slid herself off the sofa and walked to stand in front of you both, looking you up and down as she did so.

"That depends on the next questions I have for you," You bent down so you could be eye to eye with her and she smiled, happy you were treating her as though her opinion mattered.

"Do you like Disney princesses?" You nodded your head at her as thinking back on all those nights you forced Felix into watching the movies with you, as well as dragging him to the cinema whenever there was a new release.

"I do, I have a Disney DVD collection that I make Felix watch with me." You told her proudly, she took your hand in her smaller one and walked you towards the front door and up the stairs to her bedroom without saying a word to you.

Opening the door she smiled as she proudly gave you the tour of her room. The whole room had pink walls, and there was a white loft bed with a pink curtain along the bottom,

"My secret palace," She whispered to you taking you into the room and pulling the curtain back, you could have died happily once you saw how many stuffed animals she had. All of them Disney related somehow it must have taken years to collect everything that she had under there.

"Whoa." You laughed as you glanced over everything that was there. Areum smiled proudly as she realised you were impressed and pulled you down to sit on a beanbag beside her.

"I also have this." She pointed up to top slabs of her bed, a small projector was hanging on them it looked as though Chan must have installed it for her and she switched it on. It began running a film on the white wall at the bottom of her bed,

"You could bring your DVD's with you when you move in," You smiled as she basically confirmed you having the job and then she went back to quizzing you on everything and anything that she could think of that would make you a good enough nanny for her.

Felix and Chan smirked at one another from outside the bedroom when they heard the two of you talking together.

"I told you she would be good for the job," Felix whispered to Chan who had been unsure about everything when Felix first came to him with your CV. He'd been worried about hiring a nanny for Areum but since Areum was getting older it was getting harder to hire a babysitter all of the time he needed one. After Nayeon died he thought he could do it alone but the older Areum got the more he began to realise it would be hard to raise a daughter when he worked 5 days a week with long shifts.

"She's single you know," Felix nudged Chan in the side playfully and Chan pretended not to hear what the younger male was saying while they walked down the stairs to the living room.

"She's a good roommate, she'll end up cleaning up everything even if she didn't make the mess...Chan, she's the best you won't regret hiring her," He told him as they sat down on the sofas together, Chan looked at Felix as he thought over everything again.

"I just don't want Areum to get the wrong idea-" Felix sighed as he shook his head knowing that Chan meant he didn't want Areum to think he was replacing her mother.

"She won't, Areum is a bright girl Chan. You know that and I know that. It'll be like she has a live-in best friend." Felix tried to reassure him as they spoke to one another but Chan was still a little unsure in his mind as they spoke about it more.

They stopped speaking when you and Areum came down the staircase together, Areum looked at her dad as she walked into the room trying to keep a straight face on as she looked at him.

"She's hired." You giggled as she rushed over to the sofa and jumped onto Felix staring up at her father again,

"On one condition," She stumbled over the word a little but looked at her dad with confidence,

"And what's the condition?" He raised his eyebrows looking between you and then Areum for answers,

"She gets to bring her DVD's and we force both you and Lix into Disney nights." Chan nodded since he'd already seen 90% of the Disney movies that were out there as well as already know the Frozen movies word for word. As well as how to play most of them on the piano since his daughter had insisted on him learning it for her,

"That's fine with me, Lix?" Felix stared at Areum who had her forehead pressed against his as a way of intimidating him into agreeing with her, not that she would need to do that. Felix would give her the world if she wanted it all she would have to do is ask nicely.

"It's practically perfect in every way." He said as he quoted the original Mary Poppins moving causing Areum to yell out in glee and rush over to you giving you a hug.

"You can start moving in today and you'll start Monday, is that okay?" Chan questioned as he looked at you and Areum together, already it was like Areum had a best friend and she was enjoying herself and Chan could tell she liked you.

"Sure, I'll have Lix help me bring my bags over." You smiled at him as you looked at Felix who knew he didn't have a choice in the matter, he was helping whether he liked it or not.

The plan was to just take a couple of bags of clothes every couple of weeks instead of fully moving into the house, you didn't want to be in the way or make it seem like you were taking over but after three months of working with Areum and Chan, you'd moved in. The bedroom you had to yourself was on the top floor of the house on its own and had a small en-suite bathroom. It was nice having your own space to live in and after a while, it didn't even feel as though you were working for him, it just felt like you were living with a friend. Chan insisted on never letting you buy take out food unless you were buying it on your own at the weekends when they weren't eating with you, all of you shared the same food that was in the house it was basically like living with Felix only with a smaller best friend with him.

The first month of living in the house had been awkward, it took you a little time getting into the swing of their routines but once you got into it everything was great. Chan would go out for a jog every morning at 4 am, sometimes earlier if he didn't sleep that night you found out after the first week of being there his sleeping schedule was a little whacked out. You'd gone done one morning at 2 am to see him sitting in the living room watching an action movie so you joined him. Areum was at school three days out of the week so you would have to get her up and ready for 8 am while Chan went to work but over time you got to know them both a lot. Chan had changed a lot since high school and you ended up getting to know him on a deeper level finding out more about him than you did back then.

Tying your hair into a ponytail you headed down to the bottom floor to go out for a morning run, since moving in with them you'd started getting more active on the weekends. Chan didn't need you around since he didn't work them and you needed something to fill your time with while you had nothing to do. Running and swimming had been your main source of something to do other than hanging around Felix every weekend or trying to organise something with your friends who always seemed too busy.

"Morning," Chan chuckled as he walked into the porch to see you staring out of the small glass panelled windows. The rain was hammering down against the glass which was why he'd already made you a hot chocolate when he heard you moving around, he knew you wouldn't want to run out in that and made a drink for you. That and it was going to be his way of bribing you into helping him out today with Areum.

"Looks like it's going to rain all day, you're probably better off not running in that." He handed you a mug of hot chocolate and you smiled thanking him for him as you followed him into the living room he sat down on the sofa,

"Areum still sleeping?" You questioned as you sat down on the sofa beside him being careful not to spill the drink over.

"Yeah, I think she wants to bake today and I know Saturdays are your day off but..." He trailed off as he looked at you giving you the best puppy dog eyes he could manage and you giggled. After spending three months in the same house as Chan it had become very clear his cooking skills were less than great and when it came to baking you didn't want to put it to chance.

"The hot chocolate was a bribe huh?" You laughed at him before nodding as you thought it over,

"I mean if you're a bad baker you better admit it now." He challenged as he stared into your eyes, you scoffed at him as you sat up straight taking a playful offence to his remark.

"You'll be glad to know I'm an okay baker, better chef than I am a baker but I can help her," You laughed softly as he began thanking you repeatedly, he was just happy he didn't have to call someone else to come in for backup.

"I was scared I would have to call Felix or one of the boys over. I swear they're just as bad if not worse than me." He moaned out rolling his head over the back of the sofa thinking back to the times he'd invited Felix to bake a birthday cake for Areum.

"True. I've tasted Felix's attempts at homemade pizza and I barely lived to see today." You whined out playfully putting the mug of hot chocolate down on the sofa, Chan laughed along with you shaking his head as he turned to look at you.

"He told us you make his lunches for work! Is that true?" You nodded as you giggled thinking about it, all those times you used to wake up extra early to make breakfast and lunch for you in cute little lunch boxes.

"When I nannied for a different family I still lived at home so I would make his lunch when I made mine," Chan chuckled as he shook his head remembering the notes that Felix used to show him which you'd left in his lunch boxes.

"Seriously, if you'd tasted Felix's cooking you would be glad he never bought it to work, I swear it could melt eyelids off." You whimpered as you rolled your head back against the sofa and smiled at the ceiling just enjoying the peace and quiet you were having. Chan started telling you about one of the cake fails he and Felix had encountered before and you laughed it off together, shaking your head as he told you they'd ruined the entire thing by mixing Salt with sugar,

"You did not! That's awful!" You groaned thinking about the thought of eating a salt vanilla cake.

"Areum still ate it," He mumbled as he continued to laugh softly at it both of you staring at one another as you laughed together. Suddenly it was like you were the only ones in the room Chan moved a little closer to you on the sofa and you smiled nervously as you felt a shiver run up and down your back. There had been moments between you both throughout the last three months that made you feel like you had feelings for him but it would be wrong. He was your boss…But there was always something there. Just last week you were walking back up to your room after using the main bathroom shower since yours only had a bathtub and you both bumped into one another. Staring into each other’s eyes as you waited for the other to say or do something. Then there were the times you would accidentally cuddle one another while watching a movie or brush up against one another in the kitchen. Small things that made your heart race and your mind fuzz up just thinking back on them. Your eyes locked on Chan’s as you tried to say something, a small comeback for the salt cake but Areum’s footsteps came racing down the stairs and you moved away from him.

"CUPCAKE BAKING DAY!" Being screamed out by Areum who was dressed in an onesie and black apron tied around her waist, it looked a little big for her but she was still wearing it anyway.

"Ready for baking I see?" You giggled as you sat up straight and turned your body to face her eyes lit up as she saw you ready to bake with her,

"You're baking too?!" She seemed to go up in pitch as she got excited about you baking with her and her father,

"Yeah, we'll make some cupcakes after you've had breakfast and I've changed. Sound good?" She nodded at you sprinting over as she hugged your legs tightly,

"Sound fantastic!" You patted the top of her head before leaving and that was when she turned to her dad, smiling as she began listing off everything you were going to need to make today a baking success.

"Are you both ready?!" Areum questioned as she walked in front of you and Chan, slapping a pink spoon against her hand as she marched around in front of you as though she was some kind of sergeant.

"Yes, Chef!" You both called out to her in unison as she smiled pointing at the aprons on the back of the kitchen door for you both to take,

"Daddy can have the pink one. I want to match with Y/n in our black ones." You smirked as you saw the disgusted look flash over Chan's face about wearing a bright pink apron, you knew how much he loved wearing black rather than brighter colours.

"Hey I mean, the princess on the front really makes your eyes stand out," You teased him and he glared at you playfully, pulling you close when Areum wasn't looking at you. His chest pressed against your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist,

"I'm going to ruin all your cupcakes." He whispered in your ear a seemingly innocent thing to do but your brain was freezing as all you could think about were his arms around you. From the moment he pulled you into his personal space your mind went into a brain fog and all you could think about was Chan kissing you. Your skin tingling as you felt his skin on your own, you had goosebumps up and down your body as you laughed it off trying to pretend like you had felt nothing but Chan had felt it too. He smiled at you as he stepped to the other side of Areum. She was standing on a stool in front of the Kitchen island as she waited for you both to start helping her,

"Coca powder!" She yelled out reading from a list of ingredients in front of her. Chan handed her the powder, continuing on like that while you both handed her everything she needed like a doctor in surgery when they would ask for a surgical instrument.

Areum was decorating all of the cupcakes with chocolate fudge icing while you and Chan helped with your own icing bags trying to do your best to follow an image she had up on Chan’s tablet.

"Hey, Y/n...You have a little something," Chan mumbled as he glanced over at you making you look up at him, he pointed to his own cheek as to where the mark on you was and you reached up to wipe it away.

"Where?" You questioned feeling nothing on your face, he sighed as you touched the wrong space over and over again,

"Chan where?" You giggled out as he continued to sigh at you before he shook his head at you,

"Right here," Before you could even react he placed a large squirt of chocolate icing across your cheek making you scream out in surprise as you felt the chocolate run down your face and hit the floor. Areum looked down at the chocolate and then back up to her dad who seemed to be laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

"Right...Channie, You have something just here-" You picked up some flour from the bag and threw it in his direction making him spit some out onto the floor after getting some in his mouth. Areum started laughing as she watched you both starting a food fight in the middle of the kitchen, she took her small plate of cupcakes into the dining room where she could protect them from your warpath.

"Christopher!" You cried out when you felt an egg yolk run down the front of your shirt making you groan at how cold the egg was,

"Oh! Christopher and Channie? We bringing out my full name and nicknames?!" He laughed harder, he hadn't heard someone use 'Channie' for him in years, even Nayeon stopped after they'd left school but it was refreshing to hear from someone else and it even made his heart jump. The only person who ever called him Christopher was his mother and that was only when he was in trouble.

"Chris! Put down the eggs!" You called out as you backed away from him, Areum watched from the door frame as you and Chan continued to throw random food items at one another from across the room. It was the first time she'd seen her father this happy in the longest time and she'd missed seeing the huge smile on his face so much.

"Areum! Save me!" You cried out as you ran past the dining room door, grabbing her as you held her in front of your body, kneeling down so you could shield yourself away from Chan.

"Don't bring me into it!" She yelled out before darting away from you letting you get hit with an egg to the chest, you groaned out as you held your hands up.

"You win! White flag!" You yelled out as you looked up at Chan, panic-filled him as he realised you looked as though you were really hurt by something and he rushed down to your side to check you over.

"Did it hurt? You okay?!" His voice cracked which made you feel almost bad for what you were about to do but you reached up and cracked an egg on top of his head. He stared at you in silence while Areum rushed over to give you a high five and dump the rest of the bag of flour onto Chan's head both of you giggling to one another.

"I'm going to give you a five-second head start..." Your eyes widened and so did Areum's as you scrambled to your feet trying to get out of the kitchen as fast as possible. Chan began counting down loudly so you both made a run to the living room, the front door opening to reveal Felix standing there drenched in water.

"FELIX RUN!" You screamed out running past him to save Areum but Chan picked you up from behind spinning you around making you scream out,

"AREUM SAVE YOURSELF!" You yelled out as Felix assessed the situation laughing when he saw the state of you and Chan he shook his head. He knew that both of you would get along well enough.

"What happened?" He laughed once Chan finally put you back down on both your feet and let go of you, you brushed some of the flour off in Chan’s direction and he wiped some of the egg off him onto you.

"Baking disaster," You laughed looking up at Chan who was standing directly behind you, his chest once again pressed against your back.

"Can you go and held run Areum a bath? We'll clean up down here, I think it’s only fair I help clean since I helped make the mess." Chan told Felix as you looked back over at the kitchen which looked as though a food bomb had exploded inside. Felix smirked to himself at the thought of you and Chan getting closer to one another, for a second when he walked in he thought it was just a lovers embrace he'd caught but then he noticed the food and realised you were only playing together.

"Sure. I'll take a pizza has payment though." You rolled your eyes at him but promised to buy him his favourite type before he ran up the staircase to help Areum clean herself up and find her some clean clothes to change into for the rest of the day.

Later that night Felix and Areum were asleep under her bed, they'd passed out watching Moana together so you and Chan left them there for the night. After the baking incident and pizza, all of you decided to have one of the famous Disney nights you’d been wanting to do which resulted in the biggest kids falling asleep before the fifth movie was even over. Covering them both in a blanket while smiling to yourselves about how cute they looked you snuck out of the room being careful not to wake them when you shut the door,

"Thank you," Chan said as you both got onto the landing of the middle floor, you frowned wondering what he meant and he smiled weakly,

"For coming into our lives, I-I mean Areum's life. I don't think I've seen her this happy for a while..W-We're both happy you're here I just meant..." He stopped when you giggled softly at how he was starting to stumble over his words but he continued talking. He truly meant every word though, it wasn’t just Areum that you’d been helping out with. You’d helped with Chan too without even noticing it.

"I just wanted to say I'm glad you decided to come with us, it's been great having you here." He smiled as you stared up at him, the longer you looked at him the more your heart began to pound. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip as he tried to think of something to say to you until he finally bent down a little, tilting his head to the side and closed his eyes. Without a second thought about it, you matched his actions, leaning forward to kiss him. Your lips brushed against one another and the same shock you'd felt earlier that night came rushing back to you making you smile against his lips. He relaxed a little wrapping his arms around your waist as he drew your body closer to his. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck pulling yourself closer as you run your tongue along his bottom lip he smirked parting them slowly for you as you made out in the hallway. Everything around you seemed to disappear as you kissed him, everything was starting to feel right in the world when the sound of a door opening made you break apart. Chan cleared his throat scratching the back of his neck and you shivered trying to think of something to say to get out of the situation with Felix.

"Going to shower." You mumbled as you walked towards the stairs ignoring Felix who was smirking at the both of you, having seen everything he needed to see already, the kiss was more than enough for him to confirm you both liked one another. He could tell by the blush on Chan’s cheeks he liked you a lot.

"G-Going to go and erm...Go water the plants." He was never a good liar as he began making his way down the stairs,

“Chan?” Felix called out as he looked around the corner at the blushing man,

“You don’t have plants.” Chan let out a noise Felix didn’t understand or think was human as he ran off from him but Felix only chased after him wanting more answers.

The door to your room had a small knock on it and you frowned turning over to check the time, it wasn't even 2 am yet so you knew it wasn't going to be Areum. Unlike her father, she could sleep like the dead. You rolled over in the bed as you made your way to the door,

"Chan?" You frowned when you saw him standing there in a hoodie and some sweatpants, you yawned looking at him for some kind of explanation,

"Couldn't sleep...I brought snacks and a movie." He lifted up the small portable DVD play and a bag of marshmallows as his only bribe.

"Did I wake you up?!" He panicked looking at you he knew he had but he still wanted to make it seem like he was shocked you were asleep. Over the last couple of months whenever Chan couldn’t sleep you would find one another watching a movie together downstairs, it had almost become a sort of tradition between the two of you.

"No Chan, I've just come in from a scuba dive. Yes, you woke me up," You grumbled taking the bag of marshmallows from his hand and going over to your bed, you patted the spot beside you and he walked over to you. Somehow it didn't feel awkward between you despite the heated makeout session you were having five hours ago, you laid your head on his shoulder watching the action movie of his choice. Tonight was Mr and Mrs Smith which was a film you’d been wanting to see for a while.

"I thought you'd be awake...I'm sorry," You shook your head at him as you stuffed the marshmallows into your mouth,

"I'm okay, I like watching movies in the night." You mumbled tiredly as you continued to try and stay awake from the movie. You had no idea what was making you want to do this but the thought of Chan being alone when he couldn't sleep hurt you to think about, you wanted to be there for him whenever you could be.

"About the kiss..." He whispered to you an hour later, you rested your chin on his shoulder to look at him and he turned his head to look at you, you didn't say anything as you waited for him to finish his sentence.

"I want it to happen again." He admitted to you as he licked his lips, your heart jumped as he told you exactly what you were thinking and you nodded along with him and he smiled glad to know you were on the same page about things.

"Will it ruin what we have going on with you as a nanny?" He questioned hoping for the answer to be no. His eyes flicking between your eyes and your lips as he fought the urge to kiss you again without hearing what you had to say first.

"Not if you don't want it to...W-We can hide it from Areum-"You tried to tell him but he cut you off,

"I don't know if we can hide it, I mean I faked not being tired just because I knew you would stay awake with me...I wanted to spend time with you." Your heart began to pound faster as you realised he wanted to be with you. That he wanted to spend as much time with you as you did with him. You shook your head at him shutting the small portable DVD player down being glad you didn't have to fight the urge to sleep any more. Your eyelids were getting too heavy to keep open anymore.

"You'll have to keep you cool around your daughter Mr Bang." Your lips brushed against his and he smirked as you teased him a little making him whine out,

"I can do that..." You smiled at his words before leaning forward to finally connect your lips to one another, a small and soft kiss to keep you good until the morning.

"Good. Now let me sleep." You whined out at him snuggling down into the sheets as he sat up waiting for another kiss from you. You knew he wasn’t going to move so you kept your eyes shut as you threatened him playfully,

"Either cuddle me to sleep or sleep downstairs on your own." You mumbled not wanting to stay awake longer than you had to know you knew it had just been a ploy to get closer to you. He chuckled shaking his head and sliding down behind you, spooning you as you held onto one another.

After another a month of sneaking around behind Areum's back it was beginning to get harder and harder to hide things from her. It was harder to control yourself around one another when all you wanted to do was act like the couple you really were. Areum wasn't dumb for her age and she could tell there was something going on when her dad would sneak out of your room in the mornings or when she would catch you wearing one of his hoodies. It wasn't like you wanted to keep it from her but you wanted to make sure the feelings were strong enough before either of you decided to tell her what was happening between you.

"I think she knows," He mumbled to you one night as you laid in your bed together the movie of choice had just finished and you were trying to sleep in the dark. He had his arms wrapped around your waist as he kissed the back of your neck softly.

"Why do you think that?" You whispered to him, playing with his hands while you tried to get him and yourself to sleep, you knew if you traced patterns into his skin he would slowly start to drift off. It was one of the cute things you’d learnt about him over your nights like this together.

"She keeps asking if she'll need a new babysitter soon..." You laughed softly and rolled over to face him,

"Do you think she'll need a new babysitter soon? I-I don't want you to keep paying me if we're together..." It would be far too weird for him to pay you for being a nanny while your relationship keeps developing.

"What do you mean if we're together...I thought we were already together," You rolled your eyes at him as he took what you meant too literally even though he knew exactly what you meant by it,

"You know what I mean, I already feel weird taking money from you. I would have to find a new family to nanny for if we came out officially..." He shook his head at you, kissing your lips softly as he tried to get you to relax a little,

"I make more than enough money, you wouldn't need to find a new family to nanny...Y-You could just be a part of this one." He raised his eyebrows as he looked at you trying to see if you would be comfortable with that. He knew he had strong feelings for you but all he knew about your feelings were that you liked him a lot,

"Chan, you can't say things like that." You moved away from him biting down on your lip as you stared at him,

"Why not?" He sat up in the bed tilting his head to the side as he looked at you,

"Because I can already feel myself falling in love with you if you keep saying things like that i-it'll only make me fall harder." He smirked as he pulled you back to him finally happy to hear the words fall from your lips.

"Then fall harder, I love you too." You whimpered as you kissed him passionately, whining out as he carefully laid you down in the bed running his hands down your body.

The next morning when Areum couldn't find her dad in his bed she snuck up the stairs to your room knowing he would be with you, pushing the door open and smiling to herself as she saw you both laying there together. She didn't say anything as she walked into the room, sandwiching herself between the two of you and smiling as you both woke up to a kick in the ribs as she attempted to get herself comfortable.

"I think someone knows," You mumbled as you turned over to see Areum laying on her back with a giant smile on her face, happy that her dad and someone she viewed as a best friend were finally happy together. It was becoming increasingly obvious it was the case.

“What gave you that idea?” Chan grumbled as he was forced to wake up,

"Can we have pancakes for breakfast? Then can we watch Frozen 2?" Chan groaned as he pulled a pillow over his face wanting to hide from Areum as she quizzed on him the Disney movie you could all watch.

"What about the little mermaid? Chan can we watch the little mermaid?!" You asked as you sat up in the bed and looked at Chan who was pretending to sleep under the pillow as you decided to join in with the begging of Disney movie watching. It was getting to the point where he knew he would have to lock all of the DVD’s away at some point.

"Areum, tickle attack in 3...2...-" You tried to whisper but Chan moved the pillow to look at you both. Giving the pair of you a warning look as he began talking,

"If you both want to live I suggest you don't- TICKLE ME!" He screamed out the last bit as both you and Areum began to tickle him wildly making him laugh and wriggle around on the bed uncontrollably as he tried to threaten you about how there were no more Disney movie nights. This was the beginning of a bright and wonderful future together.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @channiewoo @minholuvs @lkwonmj

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hercleverboy · 4 years

Text

yours

spencer reid x reader

summary ↠ based off of the prompt “I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

category ↠ angst/fluff

warnings/includes ↠ none

word count ↠ 2.9k

“If someone makes you feel, let them.” — Reyna Biddy

Spencer could never very well doubt just how much she loved him.

She told him every day, not always with words but he could hear them clearly in how she touched him. Feather-light fingertips tracing along his delicate skin, perfectly pursed lips pressing affectionate kisses to the scars littered on his arms and chest.

He heard the words in how she cared for him, in a way that he’d never felt cared for before. Her hand would squeeze his three times when she could see him getting anxious in a social setting, three small squeezes that screamed the words ‘I love you’, ‘you’re safe here,’ ‘I’ve got you.’

But despite everything, nothing seemed to be a match for Spencer’s own insecurities. Insecurities he thought he’d buried deep down, hidden away for so long he could almost kid himself into thinking they’d simply disappeared.

Combine those insecurities with the green-eyed monster that had attached itself to Spencer’s back, and you’re left with an ugly amalgamation of self-hatred and jealousy. As if he hadn’t felt insecure enough over the prior weeks, it didn’t help that he had to watch some guy flirt with his girlfriend once the night ended.

The BAU had been dragged along to a charity event that the Bureau was holding. The whole idea was to keep up the FBI��s good reputation, and an appearance from their elite profiler team would certainly look good for them. So, with the news that they were each allowed a plus one, Spencer had asked his girlfriend to accompany him.

Y/N had been ecstatic when he’d asked, grinning about how this was the perfect excuse for her to shop for a suitable dress in the adorable boutique that had opened in town. Despite how he’d been feeling, he found himself smiling without force. No matter how he felt, she always managed to make him feel better. They’d been together for just over a year and he was yet to grow tired of her optimistic outlook on life. She really was a ray of light that shone through the darkness of his life, a shadow that came so close to swallowing him whole before she held him tight and pulled him out.

As the days before the event dragged on, Spencer found the intrusive and self-conscious thoughts were only growing, his brain trying so desperately to convince him that Y/N was merely with him out of convenience. She was simply tolerating him until she could find someone better. The rational part of him argued that the was definitely not the case, but when has anyone ever been rational when it comes to love?

These insecurities were unfortunately not new for Spencer. They’d been there since the beginning of the relationship, and he lived in fear that his relationship would fall victim to the BAU’s curse. With the exception of JJ and Will, all of the BAU’s relationships eventually crumbled under the pressure of the job that never stopped, never slowed down. There were always forgotten anniversaries and missed birthdays, late nights and early mornings and interruptions at times when Spencer wanted nothing more than a moment alone with the woman he loved.

It was exhausting, really. But they made it work.

And Spencer cherished every moment they had together as though it was their last. As though she would wake up the next morning and decide she didn’t want him anymore, that the job was too much, that she couldn’t keep watching him leave without knowing if he’d ever come home.

Y/N had noticed the slight shift in how Spencer acted around her. She was no expert profiler, but Spencer wasn’t exactly as subtle as he thought he was with his actions. When she asked about a case, he wouldn’t confide in her like he used to. He was never impolite, ever the gentleman, but simply shut her down with a kind smile before moving on to talk about a different topic.

He still held her close to his chest at night, arms wrapped around her. Though she noticed how he’d tightened his once loose grip on her, caging her in his arms. It made her heart ache a little when she felt him hold onto her as though he was afraid to lose her, as though she was going to leave. Although she wanted to, Y/N didn’t comment on this change in behaviour. She allowed him to hold her as tightly as he pleased, hoping it brought him any sense of comfort or reassurance he might need.

One night when she was deep in sleep, her head on his chest, Spencer stared up at the ceiling with his hands holding her as close to him as she could get. He listened to the sound of her gentle breaths that somewhat soothed him, until the invasive thoughts started up again. He blinked away the tears that burned his eyes as he thought about how she deserved so much better than what he could give her, how he was selfish. Against his better judgement, he refused to push her away. If the dreadful day came when she decided she didn’t want him anymore, he would let her go. But until then, he was desperate to cling to her for as long as he could.

He didn’t register the tears slipping from his eyes until the girl on his chest shuffled. He was quick to wipe his tears, watching as her own eyes fluttered open, staring up at him in confusion.

“Baby? What’re you doing awake, what time is it?” She groaned quietly, her eyes landing on the clock across the room. 3:47am.

When Spencer didn’t answer, she blinked to adjust to the darkness of the room, shifting to sit up slightly so she could meet his eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She murmured, her voice still thick with sleep.

He gave a small smile at that. She was evidently still so tired but was forcing herself to stay awake so she could check he was okay.

Her compassion was one of the many reasons he loved her so.

He shook his head. “I’m okay, I promise.”

She titled her head the side, her eyes searching his for any hints of how he was really feeling. She came up empty. She wasn’t a profiler, after all.

She reached her hand up to cup his cheek, and he gave the most adorable little grin, turning his head to place a kiss on her palm.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” She whispered, the sincerity in her tone making the tears in his eyes well quicker.

He just nodded with a sniff, unsure how to respond. Of course, he knew he could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge him. But his insecurities felt like a bother, and he wouldn’t want to burden her with such petty concerns.

Y/N was still unsure, though she accepted his answer, giving him a small smile before returning to her sleeping position, her head on his chest. She had to have faith that he would confide in her when he was ready.

This time, he had one arm wrapped around her, his other hand intertwined his fingers with hers, bringing him even more comfort. He pressed his lips to her forehead, whispering a small ‘I love you’ against her skin before finally allowing sleep to take him.

The event was on a Saturday evening, and Spencer had found himself throughout the week secretly wishing they’d be called away for a case; but no such call came. Funny, he thought, the one time it’d be great to get whisked away for work, serial killers seem to have taken the week off? He wasn’t really looking forward to it at all but knowing he’d have Y/N on his arm all night made him feel slightly more at ease.

When the clock hit 6pm Spencer called out to her, his voice bouncing off the walls of the apartment.

“You ready?”

Spencer had familiarised himself with Y/N’s outstanding beauty over the years, even before they were together and he’d found himself pining over her, watching how she moved and how she acted and falling in love just a little more each day. He recalled the words of poet Robert Burns, ‘But to see her was to love her, Love but her and love forever.’ He noted how extremely fitting they seemed. When she stepped out of the bedroom, shoving her belongings into her clutch, and flashing a grin at her boyfriend, he was reminded how she was just so effortlessly enamouring that even his eidetic memory wasn’t enough to perfectly capture her allure.

What a privilege it was to love her.

“You look-” His words caught in his throat, trying to find ones that could even begin to convey his thoughts. There simply weren’t words. He knew a thousand different ones, but none that were adequate enough to describe the woman before him.

“You are so beautiful.”

Is what he settled for, and it still seemed to fall short but when her lips turned up in a bright grin, he knew she was grateful for the compliment.

“Thank you. Are you ready to go?” She asked and he swallowed nervously before he nodded, offering him her arm as they walked out of the apartment.

He watched from their seats as Y/N stood by the drinks table with JJ and Garcia, deep in conversation. She’d been dragged from his side to have what Garcia called a ‘girly catch-up’, and hence he was left at the teams designated table with Morgan. Morgan was talking about a topic Spencer hadn’t much interest in, and though he had initially attempted to listen, that had been thrown out the window as his gaze drifted to Y/N once again.

“Kid? Hey, you listening?” Morgan asked, waving a hand in front of Spencer’s face to get his attention.

Spencer’s gaze snapped away from Y/N, focusing back on his friend. “Sorry, what was that?”

Morgan shook his head with a laugh, nodding his head in Y/N’s direction. “I’ll bet you’d much rather be at home with your lady, huh?”

Spencer followed Morgan’s line of sight, finding Y/N across the room again. He watched in silent awe as she threw her head back in laughter at something Garcia said before taking a sip of her wine.

“Yeah. It’s just- we’re away so much with work. I would’ve liked to have taken her out this evening or something. I don’t ever want her to forget how much she means to me.” Spencer blurted out in a moment of honesty, something that Morgan had always managed to get out of him.

Morgan nodded in understanding. “You know you never have to worry about that with Y/N. You, my friend, are the definition of whipped.” He grinned, reaching out and placing a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

Spencer frowned at the comment. “Whipped?”

“It just means you’d do anything for her. Anything she wanted, anything she asked for. Anything to make her happy.” Morgan explained.

Spencer nodded in understanding, put his frown remained. “Is that a bad thing?”

Morgan smiled, shaking his head. “Not at all. It’s nice seeing you so happy. She’s good for you, you know.”

Spencer glanced back over to her and caught her eye. She was mid conversation, but still flashed a smile to him.

He gave a small grin back before responding to Morgan. “Yeah, she is. Too good.”

As the evening came to a close, Spencer watched as Y/N said goodbye to everyone. He didn’t miss how one of the guys from Sex Crimes placed his hands far too low on her waist as she hugged him goodbye. How this guy seemed reluctant to let Y/N go even after she’d pulled back from the friendly hug. It made Spencer’s heart ache, watching this guy’s eyes glisten as Y/N spoke, looking at her in a way that was reserved for only Spencer.

That green-eyed monster reattached itself to Spencer, his brain flooding with the self-depreciative thoughts that had plagued his mind for weeks at that point. It was getting too much for him to handle.

He’d never been more relieved than when the taxi dropped them off outside their apartment, their home.

Y/N had noticed her boyfriend’s silence on the journey home. It was even more confusing because he still held her hand tightly in his own, intertwined and resting on the middle seat between them. Spencer faced looking out the window, not paying much attention to Y/N, and she’d think he was ignoring her if it wasn’t for his vice-like grip on her hand.

She figured he’d speak when they were back in their home, an environment he was the most comfortable in. Though he remained silent. When they stepped over the threshold of the apartment, he raised their joined hands to his lips and placed a faint kiss on the back of hers, before dropping her hand and quietly heading for the bedroom. Y/N stood in the hallway, hand dangling by her side as she pondered over what could be wrong.

She waited to approach the topic until they were getting ready to sleep. Y/N had just finished washing her face and brushing her teeth in the bathroom, flicking off the light and making her way back to the bed. Spencer, who had still not said a word, was staring at a page of his book. She could tell he wasn’t reading, as he hadn’t flipped a page in a few minutes. She climbed in next to him, sitting up against the headboard as she looked over at him.

“Spence, what’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer, his eyes trained on the hundreds of words on the pages before him.

She cleared her throat, her voice small. “You gotta talk to me. I need you to tell me what’s got you so worried. If it’s something I did then-“

“Why are you with me?”

Y/N blinked in shock. Those were the first words he’d spoken to her in hours, and she had no idea where they’d come from or how to respond to them.

“What?”

“Why did you choose me? I mean, y-you could’ve had anyone you wanted, and you chose me?” His tone of voice was pained, and Y/N could tell that these words were the sum of self-doubt and malicious thoughts.

Her eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t understand.”

“I just don’t get why you’d want me. I’m weird, I don’t always pick up on social cues and I don’t understand pop culture references and there are just so many other people you would probably be better suited to and- and you want me?” His eyes flicked up to meet hers and only then did she see the tears that brimmed in them.

Y/N took a moment to mull over the words, realising that what she chose to respond with would be incredibly important to Spencer. She gave a small sigh and smiled slightly, reaching over to grasp his hands in hers.

“You always go out of your way to bring me a blueberry muffin in the morning, even though my favourite bakery is the next town over. You give up your favourite cardigans because you know how much I love to wear them. You watched the whole of Stranger Things just because I spoke about it so much and you wanted to be able to talk about it with me. Despite how much you hate the logical inconsistencies.” She chuckled and he gave her a smile too, looking down at their joined hands. “When I go on and on about how the eleventh Doctor is my favourite you agree despite how I know for a fact that your favourite is the fifth. You always know when I’m upset without me even having to say a word. You dance with me on rainy days and read to me when I can’t sleep, and I am so in love with you.” She whimpered out the last bit with a smile, and his head shot up, eyes meeting hers. “You do not ever need to worry about whether you or not you ‘deserve’ me.”

He nodded, but she could see he was still not entirely convinced.

So, she tried one more thing, something she was sure would get through to him.

“Who was it that said, ‘We accept the love we think we deserve.’?” She asked, and he knew she knew the answer but still gave her the response she was looking for.

“Stephen Chbosky.”

She hummed in agreement, releasing one of his hands so she could cup his cheek, wiping away trembling tears with her thumb. “You deserve everything good in life, Spencer. You deserve to be loved.”

He nodded again, having been convinced.

For the first time in weeks, Spencer felt the weight of that green-eyed monster leave his shoulders. His constantly overworking brain seemed to grant him a single moment of clarity, enough for him to force away the thoughts that had hounded him for too long. He knew they may never really go away, but Y/N’s affections were certainly enough to quieten them down.

“Okay.” He murmured, still smiling as his cheeks flushed.

She chuckled quietly, using her other hand to brush back the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes in a tender move. “You’re my everything, the love of my life. Please don’t forget that.”

Spencer nodded, leaning forward. His arms enveloped around her, pulling her close to his chest in a tight hug.

“I’m yours.” He whispered. “I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

She smiled and spoke the words as though they were the simplest thing in the world.

“I’ll always want you.”

taglist: - @beyonces-breastmilk @pinkdiamond1016 @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @thelovelyrose @averyhotchner @cynbx @calm-and-doctor

#spencer reid #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #mgg #mgg x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds

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