#there's a very pervasive attitude in taiwanese culture (which I can see in my mom) that you're not REALLY trans unless you've had surgery | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

birdmenmanga · 2 years

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there IS a temptation to send my mother images of men having sex that I’ve drawn because I think it would honestly answer a lot of questions she has about me. but I say this while simultaneously feeling embarrassed about telling her my plans to make two guys roommates in a story. genuinely have no idea why the latter is embarrassing and why the former isn’t...

#just thinking thoughts...#I think maybe it's the act of saying.#maybe I just hate saying things #me (contemplating): I'm certain she knows I'm transgender. and she does know I'm bisexual #and everyone I've been with in a relationship has been a guy (while I was with them anyways)#but like. I wonder if she understands that means I'm largely mlm #she's trying SO hard to corner me about being trans btw.#we were talking about how the police force can only address people in one of four ways:#student lady gentleman and uh. something else #these are considered the 'respectful' ways to address people #(like for example middle schoolers might not like being called 'little kids' so student is like. the age-neutral form of address)#and she was like. so do you prefer to be addressed as 姊姊 (older sister) or 哥哥 (older brother)#I very lamely said UHHHHHHH #i don't know!! I'm not a good liar when I haven't made my mind up about it!!!#so yeah. I think my mind has decided that like. ok. if she wants me to come out as a trans guy so bad.#I will have to remind her that I will probably idk. get gay married in the future or whatever #there's a very pervasive attitude in taiwanese culture (which I can see in my mom) that you're not REALLY trans unless you've had surgery #and like. mother brought that up you know. she mentioned like. well yeah I think you can use the men's room if you. you know.#get surgery. you know #which like.... well... yes thank you for the support. actually now that I'm saying it that IS pretty like. supportive of her I guess #like lol. I don't even know if I WANT surgery #top surgery maybe... bottom probably not so much #mmm brain is a soup...#I explained they them pronouns to her actually #we were talking about earrings and I was like huh you know I DON'T know many people with earrings!!#and I start listing out people and she's like no I'm talking about GIRLS #and she's like. isn't the person who sent you the earrings a girl. and I was like. I don't know mother. they are a they them...#we've never really talked about gender...#and I told her that I just say they or them when I am referring to them #it seemed like a novel concept to her... I forget how new these things are sometimes...

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