#there's quite a few songs with lyrics about wishing she could feel something in her playlist too

[miqojak]

🎵 for jak then, and one for jak now!

Jak then:

Part of coping with her trauma was just... shutting everything off. Going numb - and the sick irony of it is that she tried to OD on somnus out in the Thanalan desert one night, after her twin brother abandoned her to go chase boys, and all she had left was the trauma, indentured servitude to a gang, and the constant numbness. She made this offhanded comment about how she wished she could just feel again.

And then a weird one-eyed child showed up at Little Ala Mhigo the next day, near a now-convalescing-Jak, and when Jak couldn't help but offer up her own water she desperately needed to a child in need... she got her flask back with a Dark Knight soul crystal tucked inside it, and the child was gone! No one knew who she was, or had ever seen her before - and boy, did Jak ever start to feel things again. And most anything that's not anger... was/is confusing, and just got translated to anger; to outrage at an unjust world. She had a hard time keeping things in check with that soul crystal, at first - the part of her this animates has a lot of grudges against a world that turned against a child soldier who was made a prisoner of war - and she still has a bone to pick with Ul'dahns about how they treated her, and her people when they needed help the most.

Jak Now:

You'll find more than one song on her playlist about being a god - for all her self-loathing, she has a bit of a god complex. She trusts herself the most, and no one else will put you first and foremost like you can, so why shouldn't she elevate herself? She sees most people around her as 'sheep', anyways - simpletons who are beneath her, and incapable of even beginning to understand her mindset, or the bigger picture(s) in life; distracted by the simple, the mundane, the ignorant bullshit of life. She's got a lot of skeletons in her closet, though, and old problems don't go away when you wear the mask - or the crown - but the more you distance yourself, the more power you have; the safer you are. And she isn't a woman - she's a force of nature, if you ask her.

But being a god is both boon and bane - you're set apart, you're incomprehensible, you're too much for average people. And while these are, ostensibly, the very thing she wants... it's lonely, being misunderstood, and misunderstanding the world around you because of who you are, and how you see things. (And is it any wonder that a song NIN worked on is yet another in my roster?) So many lines in this are evocative for Jak though: "Maybe I could be a better human with a new name"/"Maybe I could be a different human in a new place" - her name isn't even Jak, at the end of the day. Jak is a creation, a new skin entirely.

[babushkatty]

Tranquil SAGAU - Part 6

-> Part 1

-> Part 5

With Dvalin gone, you were left basically homeless. Not that it was much of an issue, not really. The forests had been very kind to you -- you could easily live the life of a hermit if you so wished, without having to worry about food, water, shelter or animal attacks.

But it would also be horribly lonely. No compassionate silence, no background noise and buzz of other people scurrying around and going about their day without minding you, no one to speak to if you ever felt the need to.

You liked being alone, but you were still human and humans were social animals.

Soooooo, you promptly asked Crepus about working in his Winery in exchange for accommodations, because 'one that asks, does not stray'... or something like that anyways. Your sister always made her life that much harder because she outright refused to ask for help even when hopelessly lost or overwhelmed, so there must be something to the saying at least.

"You don't have to work to earn your keep, (Name). I'd be more than happy to house you as my guest for however long you want!" is what Crepus 'Sunshine Personified' Ragnvindr responded with.

Crepus used Puppy Eyes, it was super effective!

You laid defeated, a puddle of cuteness overload once again wishing for sunglasses to protect yourself from the blinding smiles and imaginary wagging tails.

Crepus was horrible for your heart.

Still, you would go insane if left with nothing to do for days at a time, so you went to turn the Ragnvindr library upside down with Crepus' blessing, a bunch of notebooks, a bunch of pens and a delusion that you'd do any actual studying in there.

This was Teyvat, but this wasn't Genshin Impact -- a library wouldn't have interesting lore, it'd have dry history and even drier geography, accompanied by boring economics and even more boring politics (which was a damn shame too, politics were so interesting when written right).

You never quite had a head for those, prefering subjects with more practical applications that could be practiced instead of having to be beaten into your thick skull until you memorized it just long enough to write the exam.

Though for some ungodly reason you still remembered that onions were actually leaves. It was one of the very few things you remembered from school, actually.

Probably the trauma speaking.

Still, you did find some interesting books - a diary speaking of the Decarabian rule, for example.

Today, I don my very own Windblume.

I can only hope Lord Decarabian never learns of its' significance.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The winds are particularly harsh today.

I am afraid, but I smile and play my lyre as if nothing were happening at all, like I always do.

Sometimes, I forget if what I do is to reasure the people or to delude myself that everything is as it should be...

Then again, does it matter when the result remains the same?

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The people are growing restless.

Their yearning for freedom gave birth to a small wind spirit that seems fond of my playing. It is an adorable being, even if it has yet to communicate with us.

It remind me of a newborn puppy.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The people are planning a rebellion.

I want to help, but how can I? I am no soldier, my strength lays with the pen and the lyre, not with the sword.

Ragnvindr told me there was no need for more warriors, that I was doing enough by keeping the morale up with my performances... I am hesistant to believe him.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The little spirit has spoken for the first time today.

It said that it knew the song I was playing, despite it being a new piece I was in the midst of creating, and sang along to lyrics I had yet to write.

It was strange, but it made me happy nonetheless.

Perhaps I was strange too, for feeling that way.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

You had a suspicion on who the author of the diary was by that point. Maybe Crepus would be open to giving this diary to Venti, instead of it gathering dust on the shelf?

Idly, you wondered how it had survived so long, but figured Ragnvindr and his descendants took good care of it.

I met Ragnvindr today.

Something compelled me to share my worries with him, even though I knew he had enough weight on his shoulders and I ought not to add more.

"If you cannot trust in yourself, then trust in me and my trust in you instead" he told me.

It helped.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

Meetings regarding the rebellion are more and more frequent. Ragnvindr, alongside a man named Amos, have convinced the Gunnhildr clan to participate against all odds.

I can understand their hesitance. Should we fail to kill Lord Decarabian, their legacy would be no more.

I admire their bravery.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

The wind has long since realized change is imminent, even when Lord Decarabian himself has not - the little spirit said so.

King of Gales indeed, even the wind has rebelled against him.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

Ragnvindr speaks of a bad premonition.

In truth, my heart is uneasy as well, but how can I share those feelings with anyone but myself? It is not the time to bother others with my issues -- it is time to reassure everyone, to rouse their spirit and not to let fear take root even as they stand against a God. It is my duty as a bard and as a fellow rebel.

The Windblume feels particularly heavy as I write this.

I fear I will not live to see tomorrow's sunset, but I fear for my dearest friends and for Mondstadt even more.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

My little spirit friend is still without a name.

I know it does not bother them, they are the wind itself after all, but I would still like to give them a name others can remember them by.

A name that they can remember me by once I pass on, selfish as it is to bind an immortal to a memory.

But I am selfish, even if Ragnvindr may see me as a paragon of virtue. I am a human and to be human is to be flawed. I am not ashamed of it, even if I often feel guilty for it.

Perhaps it will be the very last thing I achieve in this life of mine.

It is hard to name them.

I've thought of many names up until now.

Caelus. Liberius. Aella. Calliope. Achill. Carmine. Hilarius. Hanne. Zephyrinus. Dieter. Sascha. Scilla. Paulus. Notus. Veronica. Agna. Vergil.

Those are just a few of the ones I discarded.

None fit.

I can only hope the right name reveals itself when it is time.

.　 . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆

That was the last entry.

You closed the diary and carefully put it aside.

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ* ✨ Author Note✨

It was not supposed to be mostly nameless bard POV via old diary.

It really wasn't.

Mans literally kidnapped the chapter entirely against my will while I was half asleep yesterday and attempting to write at nearly midnight and I was powerless to stop it, on god.

But hey, at least we got potential Venti bonding set up for the future?

I was planning for more fluff, but I also have no outline for this, so my chapters have a chance of getting kidnapped at any time.

✨BY THE WAY!!!!✨

The charm of spontaneous writing, I guess?

If you have something you want to happen - for example we're in the library right now, so maybe you want a book about a specific tidbit to appear - do let me know, maybe I'll write it in!

I had 2 tests and 1 retake yesterday and holy shit i got through all of them and tomorrow is last day of uni then it's ✨HOLIDAYS✨

✨Taglist✨

@game-savvy @chaoticfivesworld @mmeatt @avalordream @ymechi @andromeda-gay @naynayaa @undecidingfate @thedevioussmirk @tumb3ld0wn @balaur-bondoc @yi-chii @yarabutterfly @nervouseaglelover @vexingpraedyth @indelible-colouring-markers @whitefantasy21-blog @kapitankarate

[poem-i-wish-i-wrote]

Thought we kissed goodbye, right for you and I

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader Summery: Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over and If you think it's over maybe he'll be coming over again. Yes i just used the song lyrics to summarize the fic, what about it? warnings: mention of alcohol

It’s been 7 months now. The wounds are closing you think. You don’t think of him nearly as much as you used to. Only when you wake up and when you open the contacts in your phone and when you pass through the streets and when you stay up late. Nearly not as much as before. 

You were in your living room. Lying on your sofa with a glass of wine in one hand and your phone on the other. It’s 2 am. The bottle of wine you popped open earlier in the night is only quarter full now.  You're scrolling through what seems like a thousand posts about your ex.

Charles won the Monaco grand prix today. You were unbelievably happy for him. All the photos of him on the race track, the photos of him on the podium in front of his home crowd, you know how much he wanted this. You couldn’t be more proud of him. But there’s still a knot in your stomach from wishing you could be there to cheer for him, wishing you could tell him what a great job he did or you could celebrate it with him. But you couldn’t.

7 months ago you kissed him goodbye with tears in your eyes. The breakup was mutual. You both realized it might not work in the long run. You both had different lifestyles and he couldn’t afford to be distracted. It hurt. But you let go, thinking it was the best for both of you. Now you let your phone slip from your hand. And sip on the wine again. Maybe you could call him to congratulate?

You brush the thought off. You weren’t sure if he would even pick up. And you didn’t want to ruin his night of victory. You stare at the black screen of your phone there on the tea table longingly. 

Then to your utter disbelieve the screen of your phone lit up with his name on it. You jump off the couch. You dreamed of this happening every minute in the past 7 months. But now that it’s happening you don’t know what to do.

__________________________________________________________

Charles was at a club. Celebrating his win with his team and some other drivers, his brothers and friends. He was unbelievably happy to finally win a race in his hometown. But in the blinding light of the club and the beat of the music thumping in his chest he could not shake off the feeling that something was missing.

He knew exactly what was missing. He's been thinking about it for months, 7 to be exact. He turns to where Arthur and Carlos were drinking saying that he’ll be back in a minute before walking out with his phone in his hand. With the influence of the alcohol heavy on his mind, he dialed her number before even realizing what he was doing.

He let it ring a few times. Desperately wishing she would pick up. Right when he was about to give up the call went through. He could hear breathing on the other line.

“Y/n? Are you there?” It felt incredibly freeing to say her name again.

______________________________________________________________

You held the phone with both hands as you pressed it harder against your ears, closing your eyes when you heard him say your name.

“Hey” you say a few seconds later, it comes out shaky. 

“Hi” you hear from the other side. The mixture of wine and hearing his voice after so longs makes you feel dizzy.

“Congratulations on the big win. I’m so happy for you” You managed to get out.

“ Thanks.” He replies, not quite sure what he should say next. 

“You should have been there. I really wished you were there” You hear him continue making you sink back on the couch. Your chest was hurting. 

Charles didn’t know where he was going with this phone call. All he knows is that he misses you too much to stay away. And the alcohol in his system was giving him the little courage he needed to say all the things he wished to say so many times before. 

“ I really wish you were there. It broke my heart not seeing you in the crowd. You always said I could do it. You were always there to pick me up at my worst times. It doesn't feel right not to have you by my side at my best.” 

You let out a shaky breath. “I wish I was there to cheer you on too.”

“Mon Cheri, Please give me one more chance. I don’t want to do this without you. I will make it work this time. But please, I can’t stay away from you anymore.” He blurts out. He can feel his eyes burn up.

On the other side of the phone you're already tearing up. You spend months wishing for another chance to go back. All you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and sob for days.

“Y/n? Please.” His voice came pleading.

“I don’t wanna be away from you either.” You manage to say. He can tell you're crying.

“Believe me my love, let me back in and I’m never leaving ever again.” 20 mins later, the doorbell rang. You rushed to open the door and as soon as it swung open his lip crashed into your. His arms snaked around your waste. You could taste the alcohol in his lips, he on yours.

You stood there kissing messily until you couldn't breath. When you both pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. Both of your eyes closed as you breathed heavy, nose touching.

“I missed you so much, I’m never letting you go again.” he whispered against your lips.

[24hlevi]

— fatal attractions

lucy gray baird (tbosas) x gn!reader

genre: angst/fluff

summary: you always were there when lucy gray was performing. except the day you weren't.

warnings: language

wc: 2.2 k

did i binge read the book in two nights to write something for tbosas? well, yes!

every time lucy gray was performing, you were there. somewhere in the crowd whether it was big or small, you were always there to watch her sing. she spotted you easily every time you came, a fond smile growing on her face at the mere sight of you. the two of you were quite close, but not as close as she wished it was. she would be lying if she said her heart didn't speed up every night she saw you watching her in the crowd.

then one day, you didn't show up.

she immediately noticed when she walked on the stage with her guitar in her hands, for she would always search for you first thing every time. she scanned the crowd a few times, trying to spot you, but she couldn't. her eyebrows furrowed together for a split second, but no one seemed to notice. she felt a twinge of pain in her heart as she realized you really weren't there for once, but, as always, she put a smile on her face, and performed.

it wasn't noticeable to the crowd that she wasn't focused on her performance, but it was incredibly noticeable to her. her mind was wracking through reasons on why you wouldn't be here, but she couldn't figure out a good one. maybe you forgot? but, that wouldn't be possible because lucy had just reminded you yesterday. or you were running late? however, that thought was long gone after she was halfway done. what if you were with another girl? that’s the one that made her almost stutter and forget the next lyric to her song. surely, there was no way that was the answer. right?

as soon as lucy gray got off the stage, she let out a quiet sigh and tried her best to stop thinking about you. unfortunately, that was extremely difficult. she didn't want to think that you might be with some other random girl, but it wouldn't leave her brain. she walked away from the area, running her hand through her hair as she took a breather. she couldn't believe how she was feeling. the fact that she was jealous of the possibility that you were with someone else, it wasn't even confirmed. you were allowed to hang out with other people, to date other people. while lucy wasn't dating you, there were definitely times that made her question it by your actions and words.

“what's wrong, lucy gray? cat got your tongue?” you teased with a smile. you had one arm wrapped around her waist and the other resting on her cheek, gazing down at her flushed face.

“no,” she shook her head slightly, smiling back up at you. “you just have a way with words.”

“i know,” you replied. “but you like that.”

“whatever you say,” she put her hand on your chest to stop you from moving more closer to her.

she never admitted it, but she did like how you seemingly always knew how to fluster her. no one else could make her like that except you. she wished she was the only one you did that to, but she ended the night feeling like she wasn't.

it wouldn't be a surprise to her if you acted that way towards someone else. you did have a way with words, and any girl would jump at the chance to be that only girl. so she wouldn't be shocked if in the next few days you said you were dating someone. she just wished it was her instead. with a heavy heart, lucy gray found herself falling asleep with you not leaving her mind, not even in her dreams.

the next day, lucy gray awoke with that heavy feeling in her chest again. you were usually there by the time she woke up, but again, there was no sign of you. did you sleep at someone else’s home? you normally don't, claiming that sleeping next to a girl so beautiful like lucy gray would give you better dreams than if you slept alone. so then, why weren't you here?

she didn't want to think that you found someone else. she didn't want to believe that you were sleeping soundly with another girl in your arms. she didn't want to know that she wasn't important to you anymore. she physically shook her head at the thought as she stood up from her duvet. you probably just forgot or slept too much. but, you were never that careless when it came to lucy gray.

she walked out of her little hut that she called home, looking around as the sun was just peeking out over the horizon, hoping she would see you walking towards her, only to not see you. a small frown formed on her face, and she started walking in no particular direction.

the seam was her home, and to not see you walking around or talking to someone else for her to interrupt was odd. she missed you, despite having only not seen you for one night.

“lucy gray!”

she swiftly turned around, her dress flowing as she did so to see you jogging towards her. while she usually smiled as soon as she saw your face, her expression didn't change, which you noticed immediately.

“are you okay?” you asked once you reached her, panting slightly from running.

“where were you?” lucy gray shot back a question, ignoring yours.

your eyes widened subtly at her question and tone in her voice, one you hadn't seen nor heard in a while. you knew she was asking about last night, and you felt your throat dry up at the question. “what?” you chuckled nervously.

“you didn't show up last night,” she said. “where were you?”

“what? did you miss me or something?” you smiled, but she didn't. ‘fuck, she's serious’ you thought to yourself. you didn't blame her, though. you always showed up to watch her. but, you couldn't tell her the reason why. that the reason you weren't there was because of you trying to set something up for her. “i had to do something.”

“with someone else?” she questioned.

now you were getting confused. did she think you were with someone else? i mean, technically yes, but not in that kind of way. how the hell were you supposed to explain yourself without giving away the whole thing? “no,” you shook your head. “i was setting something up.”

lucy gray raised an eyebrow towards you. “you don't have to lie to me, you know.”

“i’m not lying,” you shook your head again. “i really was setting something up.”

“for who? a girl you like?”

you wanted to say yes, but you couldn't. if you did, she would immediately think it was someone else and not her. you were stuck. “kind of?” you answered in a confused voice. “but listen it's-”

“who is she?”

you froze in your spot. fuck, you were really stuck now. do you lie? no, that would make things 100x worse than they were now. do you tell the truth? but then it would ruin the whole thing. “well,” you started. “she's uhm someone you…know. like, really good. uhm, she uh, is really sweet, and truly the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. uhm she-”

“okay, i get it,” lucy gray waved her hands around to stop you from continuing. “whoever she is, i hope it was worth it.” she then turned and started to walk away.

“what? lucy gray!” you called out, following after her.

“stop following me, y/n!” she exclaimed. “i don't want to hear more about some girl!”

“it's not like that!” you raised your voice hoping she would listen. “lucy gray!”

“leave me alone!” she screamed, pushing you away from her with incredible force you didn't know she had.

you landed on the ground below her, staring up into her brown eyes as you opened your mouth, but only her name fell from your lips. she continued on walking away from you and you looked down at the ground, not moving. you put your face in your hands and sighed. that went much worse than you expected it to go. but, you did give terrible answers to avoid telling the truth.

you cursed to yourself as you eventually got up and dusted the dirt off of your pants. how were you supposed to fix this? you didn't know how to. so with another sigh, you turned around and went back to what you were setting up in your home.

that very night, you sat on the floor of your little home that only accompanied you inside. with no siblings or family left alive, you found yourself alone with a bottle of some liquor you’ve had for years. you stared at the door, the world spinning slightly as your thoughts were running a hundred miles an hour. you wanted to find lucy, and explain yourself the right way, but you weren't sure if she would be annoyed by the sight of you after your fuck up. you took a swig from the bottle and set it down, pushing yourself up off the ground and stumbling to the door.

the alcohol in your body was pushing you to move forward, opening the front door and walking out. you didn't know what time it was, but you didn't care at the same time. you needed to see her. you stumbled down the dirt road, your head spinning as you tried to focus your eyes to find her home. you almost tripped over your feet and steadied yourself as you found yourself in front of her door.

you raised your hand and knocked a few times on the door, swaying from side to side as you attempted to stand up straight. when she opened the door, her eyes widened at the disheveled sight of you.

“y/n? it's late, what are you doing?” she asked you.

“wanted to see you,” your words slurred together as you spoke.

she narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to you, smelling the alcohol and raising an eyebrow. “have you been drinking? how did you even get any?”

you ignored her questions, grabbing her hands with yours. “please just listen to me. i'm sorry for lying earlier.”

“lying?” she questioned, confused. “y/n, i really don't want to listen to you talk about some girl you like.”

you shook your head. “you don't understand. it's you.” you told her.

her eyes went wide at your words, her face turning red as she chuckled nervously. “what?”

“i was talking about you. i wasn't there last night because i was setting something up for you. it's you. it's always been you. i love you, lucy gray.” you proclaimed.

“you're drunk,” she shook her head, but didn't pull her hands away from yours.

“maybe,” you nodded. “but if you come with me i promise you it's the truth.” you said hopefully.

she hesitated before nodding. “okay.”

with her hand still holding yours, you walked her out of her home and made your way back to yours. it was silent the walk there, and you were unsure of how this would go. you were praying it would work out well.

once making it back to your home, you turned to face lucy gray and pulled your hand away. “close your eyes for me.”

“what?” she asked.

“please?” you said.

she just nodded and closed her eyes. you went into your home and grabbed what you were working on and walked back outside.

“okay, open your eyes,” you told her.

she opened her eyes and a gasp left her mouth at what was in your hands. a brand new guitar made from scratch, with her initials engraved in it. you waited for her to say something, suddenly growing nervous.

“did you make this?” she asked quietly, taking a step forward and letting her hand drag across the wood.

“yeah,” you nodded. “for a few months now.”

she looked up and could see the anxiety on your face. her hand moved to cup your cheek as she smiled. “i love it,” she whispered as she leaned in and kissed you.

your heart skipped the moment you felt her lips connect with yours, and you immediately reciprocated, smiling into the kiss. when she pulled away, you smiled down at her.

“i’m really glad you like it,” you said.

“of course i would. anything you make i would love,” she responded. “and, i love you too.”

your smile grew bigger at what she said. “really?”

“yes,” she nodded. “i’ve loved you for a while, now.”

“which is why you were jealous over someone who didn't exist,” you replied with a short chuckle.

“how was i supposed to know with the terrible answers you gave?” she jokingly asked.

“i know, i know,” you said. “do you want to sleep here tonight?”

“i wouldn't mind,” she answered, smiling up at you.

“and you’ll sing me a song?” you asked with hope.

“i suppose,” she laughed.

“sounds good to me,” you grinned, kissing her again.

[mt-oe]

'𝓓𝓲 𝓷𝓪 𝓶𝓾𝓵𝓲—mizu x reader

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dears!

Recently, I've been into a Filipino song about wishing they hadn't taken their time together with their love for granted and wishing they had told their significant other how they felt

And thought, eyyy this would make a good angst fic

It's such a sad song and I honestly hope you can listen to it too. Just enjoy the melody, feel the emotion of the song even if you can't understand the lyrics.

Enjoy! Mwa mwa :*

warnings: not proofread, character death, angst, implied afab reader, she/her for mizu but will use he/him at times

Nung araw kay tamis ng ating buhay Puno ng saya at ng kulay 'Di mauulit muli Ang oras kapag hinayaang lumipas Madarama mo hanggang bukas 'Di mababawi muli

Mizu did not know what had gone over her. She had met you on her way to Kyoto in search for the Shindo dojo. You had approached her, thinking she was a man, hoping she'd help you enter the city.

"Here's half the money I have saved for this trip," you mumbled to her, looking around to see if there was anyone watching before giving her doe eyes. "Please...Just 'til the entrance.."

A sigh escaped her lips as she watched you. You ticked her off for sure, but she couldn't help but take pity in your situation. She could see the blisters on your feet, the paleness of your lips, and the worry in your eyes.

You needed to get into Kyoto to buy herbs for your medicine. A kind married couple used to do it for you before. However, they had unfortunately died from an ambush. Now, you were left to fetch it for yourself.

It took you days to reach Kyoto. The journey was harsh, physically and mentally, to someone who was sick. However, now your goal was deterred by the simple idea of you being a woman traveling alone. Your health was at risk, just because you were a woman.

Truly, the world, despite being created by the bosom of a woman, was harsh to its creator.

Mizu sighed before letting out a grunt. She took the coins from your hands before keeping it safe within the confines of her cloak. "Until the entrance only," she said in a low voice, bringing a smile to your face.

Now, she was watching you as you grilled a salt-covered fish you had skewered over the fire, back turned to her.

You had been traveling with them for quite some time now, from Kyoto to Mihonoseki to Kohama.

Along the journey, she discovered many things about you. From your favorite tea, your favorite sweets, your hobbies, and even your sickness. She had also learned that you were good at sewing, repairing her kimono after fights and even learning how to stitch her wounds shut.

Similarly, though it was difficult for Mizu, you had learned quite a lot about her as well. You learned about how she learned how to fight, where she got her sword from, and even her mission for revenge.

It was such a big feat for both of you, to learn and be learned about.

The feeling of having someone cook food for her was odd. She was used to not eating for days, eating only a few to save rations. But when you joined them, she always woke up to the sight of you and Ringo chatting and exchanging cooking tips over the fire. When they reached Kohama, she would sometimes see you help Eiji polish the blades, smiling sheepishly whenever he smacked you for using the wrong whetstone.

"It's done!" You removed the fish from the makeshift grill you had made over the fire before placing it over a large leaf you had washed. Slowly, you blew over the food before handing it to Mizu who watched you with an unreadable expression before glancing at the food.

Food was not something she necessarily appreciated. It was nothing more than sustenance for her. Something to keep her alive while she was on her mission for revenge. Now, it was something she looked forward to everyday.

Without a word, she ate the food slowly, picking the soft flesh off of the bone carefully with her chopsticks. Her eyes occasionally glanced at you, watching as you looked up at the sky, taking a breather after cooking.

"I wish the sun would come out," you mumbled, pouting slightly. You shivered slightly, pulling your kosode close. "After all this is over, let's settle down somewhere warm. Where the sun is always shining."

She raised an eyebrow at your words, swallowing her food before replying. She didn't really expect you to have such an adorable dream. "That's ridiculous. Kohama is warm enough."

You glared at her playfully before staring up at the clouds again. "It's not ridiculous! I just...the snow makes everything so cold and it feels so depressing!" you whined softly, making her snort a little.

The idea of settling down somewhere warmer didn't seem so bad.

Maybe you were right.

Maybe, after all of this was over, she could build a small hut with you in her home town. A small hut by the beach so she could see you smile whenever you watched the sun set so that this wretched place could have at least one good thing about it.

"You're laughing," you teased, turning to face her slightly. Mizu gave you a shrug, a slight smile still on her face. "Maybe your idea was silly enough to make me laugh."

"It isn't!"

Ang dami daming bagay na hindi naman kailangan Kung pwede lang bawasan natin ang mga tampuhan Hindi mo lang alam, hindi mo ba nararanasan? Kahapon sana natin, 'di mo na pinahirapan

"What do you mean you're not killing him?" you asked, eyes narrowing at Mizu.

Edo was burning.

The largest city in the world burning.

And the culprit was right before your eyes.

She narrowed her eyes equally at you, looking at your disheveled form. Soot covered you from head-to-toe. Your clothes were tattered and the kaiken she gave you was bloody, presumably from the blood of Heiji's allies. A sigh escaped her lips as she read your stern expression.

"I don't need to explain myself to you. Move." She dragged Fowler's body, trying to get past you before you pointed your blade at both of them, taking her by surprise. "I'm not moving until I see him dead, Mizu. Isn't that what we came here for? Or have you gone soft?"

Mizu glared at you, gritting her teeth. Her body was too injured to fight you, especially when she was still dragging Fowler's unconscious body.

She knew there was no way around you.

"I have not gone soft," she scowled, continuing to glare at you. It was clear in her deep blue eyes that she was conflicted. "The rest of the white men I'm hunting are in another land. I need Fowler to track them."

Your eyes widened at her, lowering your blade slightly. "Another land?"

She nodded before her eyes softened, watching as your expression changed from anger to distraught. "London," she mumbled, not having the strength to say it louder.

The pain in your face was unbearable. It was as if the sky had fallen and your world had ended. The way you dropped your blade, approaching her with the most shattered expression she had seen on anyone's face, and the way you grabbed her shoulders almost desperately.

"Y-You can't be fucking serious? You're going to London? Where the fuck is that even?" you asked, shaking her slightly, your voice almost sounded like you were going hysterical. She couldn't even look you in the eyes. "It's a mission I have sworn myself to."

You let go of her, tears pricking your eyes as you resisted the urge to cry.

Patawad muli, 'di na muli

"Then go."

She watched you as you took a few hesitant steps back, glaring at her. "Go and leave us," you scowled, masking the pain you felt with anger.

Mizu couldn't help but feel guilty. After everything the two of you had gone through, she was going to leave you as if you were just a moment to her. With a slight grunt, she lifted Fowler's weight and trudged past you, never looking back.

She had nothing to feel bad about, she tried convincing herself. You were aware that she had already sworn herself to revenge and there would be nothing stopping her.

Not even love?

Yeah.

Not even love.

Ang oras kapag hinayaang lumipas Madarama mo hanggang bukas 'Di mababawi muli

"He's dead."

Your own lies echoed through your mind, the devastated look on Ringo and Eiji's face plastered in your memory.

Yet here you were, crouching behind some wooden crates, eyes watching Mizu as she stood on the dock. A bittersweet feeling arising in your throat.

She was gone. With all the memories the two of you made.

You wanted to run up to her, to try and stop her, to tell her to just kill Fowler and stay with you; but you couldn't. You knew that Mizu was already dead set in getting her revenge and nothing but death could stop her.

Death?

Maybe that was where she was heading. Maybe that was when you'll meet again.

With deep exhale, you continued to watch as Mizu boarded the ship. The crew on board watched with a nervous expression, seeing her blue eyes. The same blue eyes you grew to love.

You stood up, getting ready to leave, until you accidentally let out a loud cough. The severity of your sickness catching up to you. Your hands immediately covered your mouth as you attempted to muffle the sound. Once you looked back at the boat Mizu was on, your heart skipped.

She was looking at you.

Staring at you with the same sadness you held before walking towards the front portion of the ship.

Once the ropes were released, the crew began to row, moving the boat forward until it was nothing but a small speck at a distance. You couldn't help but gulp, the lump forming in your throat.

"Goodbye, Mizu."

At natapos ang himas ng sandali 'Di kukubli aking tinig Nang lumipas na't 'di man lang nasabi Salamat hanggang sa muli

It had been a while since she had been in Kohama—who the hell are we kidding? It's been years.

Mizu had just returned from foreign lands, now at peace after accomplishing her revenge. The times definitely changed her. Her hair had grown longer and the scars on her body increased, maybe even doubled, from the last time. She was a bit more well-built than when she left and the fatigue from all the battles she had gone through were visible in her eyes.

She walked around the village, amazed at the changes it had gone through in just a couple of years. The once almost deserted fishery, now lively with people from different places.

Old huts were replaced by newer houses. The bums who drank their lives off on the streets were now gone, replaced by vendors advertising their recent catch.

However, despite the numerous leisurely activities around her, she continued to walk in a direction that was familiar to her more than anyone.

At a distance, Eiji's forge could be seen along with Ringo's figure, pushing a wagon inside the fenced property.

Mizu smiled slightly, feet picking up the pace until she was running. Ringo's eyes widened as he saw a familiar figure running towards his direction, making him drop the handles of the wagon. "Master?" he called out in a questioning tone, unable to believe his eyes.

Once Mizu was in front of him, his eyes widened further and a big smile appeared on his face. "I can't believe this!" he exclaimed, slowly approaching Mizu.

"I thought you were de—" "Where is she?"

A confused expression was painted on Ringo's face as Mizu cut him off. His eyebrows knitted for a moment as he thought of who his master could have been searching for before he was smacked at the back of his head with a pair of tongs. "You are quite impatient for someone who has risen from the dead."

Her eyes followed the length of the tongs before her smile widened as she saw her sword father who had now grown more feeble. "I apolog—"

"Do not apologize to me, child. Apologize to her." Eiji cut Mizu off, turning his head towards the direction her voice. "She has been waiting for your return. Go to the cliffs near the shore. That's where she resides now."

Mizu sighed in relief when she found where you currently were. As she was about to leave, she was smacked on the back of her head with the same iron tongs. "And do not forget to forge your sword. We will be waiting for you."

And with that, Mizu ran to the cliffs, searching for you.

Binawi buhay mo nang walang sabi Binubulong ko sa sarili Mahal kita hanggang sa huli

She ran and ran as fast as she could, ignoring the burning in her calves. The sound of the waves grew louder and louder with every step she took, making the excitement in her burn more and more.

It was warm. It was warm like how you always wanted it to be. As she finally reached the clearing, the sun shone in her eyes, blinding her a bit. She covered her eyes with her forearms, taking a deep breathe.

What would you say once you saw her? Will you smile? Will you cry? Will you run up to her and envelope her in your arms? Will you curse at her for leaving you?

Taking one last deep breathe, she uncovered her eyes, adjusting to the brightness. She blinked for a moment before looking at the edge of the cliff.

There was no hut, no sign of anyone living there, and most of all, you weren't there either.

What could be found there, however, was a sword. It's blade planted on the ground, a piece of fabric tied to the hilt.

Mizu approached the sword, clearly confused. She looked around her surroundings before her eyes landed on the fabric tied to the hilt of the blade. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember where she saw the familiar pattern.

"Wait..." she mumbled to herself before her heart stopped.

It was your kimono.

The fabric, the pattern was from your kimono.

She fell to her knees as the realization sunk into her. You were gone. Gone forever.

It was as if the universe had decided that her hardships weren't enough and decided to take away the person she loves the most.

Her eyes continued to stare at the blade in front of her before a shaky exhale left her lips, tears finally falling from her eyes. "I'm sorry..." she sobbed out, hands balling into fists. "Fuck...I made you wait too damn long, didn't I?"

She wanted to scream, to tear her soul out, to vomit. How could she have been so stupid? She knew you were sick, but she didn't know how much time you had left and...and...fucking shit she didn't know.

What could she do? Beg god to bring you back?

Tears continued to stream down her eyes as she looked at the ground, forehead resting on the fabric at the hilt of the sword. She had never felt this way before. To cry until she couldn't speak, to cry until she felt too weak to stand.

You must've been so lonely, she thought. The image of your distraught face in Edo and before she left appeared in her mind again, now imprinting itself to her conscience.

She saw the way you looked at her when she departed. It was gut-wrenching and now, she was paying the consequences of her own rage-driven decisions.

She looked at the fabric of your kimono before resting her forehead against it again. "I...I love you..." she whispered before gritting her teeth. "I'm so stupid I should have said that before."

After taking a moment to grieve, she stood up and looked over the cliff. The sunset was beautiful. Just like you. Maybe if she had just gone home a bit earlier, she would've been able to see both.

Mahal ko hanggang sa huli

With a sad look in her eyes, Mizu stared at the sword again before giving a melancholic smile. At least you were able to rest some where warm.

"I love you...Let's meet again some day."

Mahal ko hanggang sa huli

[dnvrsmedia]

Space Girl

Astronaut!Ellie x Astrophysicist!Reader 

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gender non-specific! no gendered terms or pronouns (they/them used)

inspired by the song ‘Space Girl’ by Frances Forever

some lyrics included at the end of the fic!

DISCLAIMER! although i absolutely love space & all things to do with it, i absolutely have no idea how NASA works HAHA. learning abt space & astrophysics is a hobby of mine so please suspend your disbelief on the logistics of it all lol.

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From a very young age, Ellie knew what she was destined to do. When it came around to teachers, friends, and Joel asking what she wanted to do when she grew up it was always the same answer. “I’m going to go to space!” She said with a firm face and a serious heart. Yet, only a few people believed she would make it. No one believed that the spunky orphan with anger management troubles would be the one to make it out of the stratosphere.

People say that dreams change. That some dreams are meant to be just that, dreams, yet Ellie was determined to make her dreams a reality. Ellie Williams was a go-getter. When she had her eyes set on something everyone around her knew she was going to have that. Having that mindset has brought her to where she is today, a real-life astronaut at NASA. All the hard work and dedication that the auburn-haired girl spent years to lead up to this moment was finally here. She spent countless sleepless nights in college dreaming about the stars. Hours on the phone with her adoptive father, Joel, ranting to him about all the cool facts she has learned while away from him. So, when Ellie got the offer, she made sure that Joel was the first one she let know.

She can't recall before that moment when she first saw the old man cry, but that day, there was no dry eye between them. She brought him to the same museum he took her to when he adopted her on her 15th birthday. Due to her NASA status and undeniable charm, she was able to bribe the museum guards into allowing her to close the space section just for this moment. Ellie would never admit it, but she had no idea where she would end up if it went for the man himself. He was the one who took the broken-down orphan child with way too much pent-up angst, to a fucking astronaut!

It was her first day in Houston after leaving the small town - Jackson- she grew to love. The town gave her a heartful send-off and enough food and well wishes to fuel a small village. The first official day of training before leaving Earth was tomorrow. Her palms clam up and knots in her stomach arise at the thought. She didn’t want to fuck up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A sigh releases from her body as she pulls into her new home, a decently nice apartment complex a few miles from the base. Being an orphan who was tossed around from foster home to foster home until the age of 14, Ellie never had a big heart for items. Unlike Joel, Ellie never really found herself keeping too many items. Sure back home in Jackson, Ellie had some nicknacks and things she found enjoyable, but during the moving process, she found herself only really needing to pack up her dingy old truck. Her wallet was thankful for not having to spend extra on movers, yet the depths of her heart yearned for something more. Yearning for a place she could feel like her home. Jackson never felt like hers no matter how long she’s been there. Ellie wonders if that's why she yearns for the stars. The fast

Her calloused hand turns the key in the ignition off.

“Welcome Home, Ellie.” A small smile adorned her face. Yeah, she was ready for the challenge to come.

Droplets of sweat evaporate off of the auburn-haired girl’s body as she finds herself moving in under the hot Houston sun. Although she didn't bring much, Ellie still had quite a time hauling her things into her apartment. Past Ellie thought that it would be a genius idea to ship her furniture before leaving Jackson. Unluckily for her, all of her shit got rerouted due to some error or something? At least that is what the FedEx worker on the phone told her on the phone. She looks around the room with a bit of defeat. She has all of the “essentials” she told herself to bring with her in the back of her truck. These items include all of her gaming devices and gear, comic collection, clothes, TV, and the fuck ton of snacks she got from Jacksonites. Nowhere included in her array of shit was a bed nor a chair.

“Fuck!” Ellie yelled outside her door. Of course, everything had to go to shit the second she got here. The sound of someone clearing their throat snapped Ellie out of her self-pity party of one. A person of seemingly the same age as her stood before her with a concerned look on their face. Ellie’s face heats up in embarrassment.

“Oh uh, I’m Y/N… I live in 112 B. I heard you moving in and wanted to check in on you. Is everything okay?” You rock on your heels. Ellie takes you in with wide eyes. She doesn’t think that she has met anyone more beautiful than the person standing in front of her. You were in your casual wear since it was a Sunday afternoon, yet she looked at you like you created the sun and all of its stars. After realizing that she is standing before you with her hin to her jaw (like an idiot) she finally introduces herself.

“Oh! Sorry!” Ellie scratches the back of her neck– a nervous tick she does– “I’m Ellie,” Her calloused hand reaches out to give yours a shake. ‘Are all hands normally this soft or are they just godly?’ Ellie wonders.

“I’m okay! Well, minus the movers losing my shit and bringing it back to Wyoming. I don't have a bed and my first day of work at my new job is tomorrow so I’m just stressed.” Ellie finally allows herself to breathe after going on that tangent. You let out a short giggle at her frazzled state. Ellie’s frown turns into a small smile before she bursts out in a fit of giggles herself.

“What a welcome that is, huh? It’s okay, Ellie. When I first came to Houston, I completely had no idea what to wear for work and I was the only one under the age of 60 wearing a pantsuit.” Your smile sends a pang to Ellie’s heart. Maybe this won't be a terrible time living here. A laugh erupts from her belly

“Oh, that must’ve been terrible, thanks for that.” Ellie’s gaze lowers to her beat-up converse as she tries to calm her beating heart.

“Anytime, and um, Ellie? Would you maybe want to grab a coffee with me?”

You rush out in hopes that she doesn’t reject you. Ellie kind of stares at you, not sure if she heard you correctly or if her sleep-deprived delusions were messing with her.

“Or not, I mean I totally understand how difficult moving is. If it helps, I have my old blowup mattress and some sheets and pillows to spare in the meantime you can use.”

Embarrassment floods your body. What were you thinking? Now, you are gonna have to see her every time you leave your room and be reminded of the time you got rejected.

Ellie’s eyes shoot wide open with her eyebrows to the sky.

“No!”

Your face immediately sinks at her answer. Ellie shakes her head furiously, god she is such a loser.

“No! I mean yes! I’d love to go grab a coffee with you. I’d also love to take you up on that blowup bed offer. The least I could do is buy you a coffee, yeah?”

Your smile reappears on your face as you nod in agreement.

You ended up taking your car to your favorite coffee joint near work. There was a small shopping center filled with cute local small businesses that you thought Ellie might enjoy looking at as you sipped your respective drinks. You had gotten to know the freckled-faced woman the longer you two strolled along the plaza together. Her bashful smile that adorned her face after she mentions something that she is passionate about was probably your favorite part about her. She was so intriguing to you like you had known each other all of your lives.

“So, what made you make the move to Houston?”

Ellie sipped on the last bit of her iced coffee. She practically gulped all of the sweetened caffeinated drink down after the first sip. She stated that it was “the best she has ever had.”

“Oh, for work actually! I work uh for the government.” You start to feel yourself becoming shy. You hated mentioning that you worked at NASA. Not because you weren’t proud of your job, but because you had this irrational fear that everyone believed that you were bragging.

Ellie’s eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“That is so very vague, Y/N” She laughs. “What, you a government spy or something? You working for the FBI? The CIA?”

Now it was your time to laugh. Ellie had a way of bringing you out of your insecure shell only with hours of meeting you. You shake your head.

“Hmm…any other acronyms?” She asks.

“Actually, uh yeah.” You laugh. “And it has nothing to do with spy stuff. I actually work at NASA.” You proudly smile, your job was something you had dreamed about ever since you were little. Being in Houston and working with the people you do made your inner child beam. Ellie stops in her tracks as a look of shock spreads across her face.

“You’re fucking with me, no way!” She shouts in the store, customers turning and scolding her with their eyes. You laugh and shake your head.

“No, I promise I am not.” You laugh once again. “I’m an astrophysicist.” The proud look not leaving your face; feeling more comfortable with sharing after hearing Ellie’s response to your career.

Ellie’s hands find themselves on your shoulders as she gently shakes you.

“No way! I start at NASA tomorrow! I’m going to space!” She smiles widely, you can tell how passionate she is just from those words. Now it was your turn to let out a gasp.

“You’re an astronaut!?” You yell rather loudly. For the second time, the patrons of the store are not loving your outbursts.

Ellie gives you her toothy smile as she nods like a maniac.

Since that day, both you and Ellie have been inseparable. Having your familiar face around made Ellie feel a lot more at ease in her first few months. Whenever she had a break from the training she would sneak off to your desk with your favorite snack. Oblivious to her charm, her presence usually waned for the other women in your department to throw themselves at her— something you were not very fond of. Sometimes she got to work at the same time as you, those times being her favorite. Not just because she was able to sleep in a bit more, but because of the little routine the two of you worked up together. Just shy of a week of Ellie living across the hall from you, you both traded spare apartment keys in case of emergencies…or at least that is the reason why she gave you one. On days like these, Ellie would get ready and let herself into your apartment as you made breakfast for the two of you. To repay you for your service, Ellie would then drive the pair of you to your spot– the coffee shop you showed her on her first day in Houston. She then would pay for your beverage before bringing you both to work.

“See you in a bit, space girl!” You smiled over your shoulder as you made your separate way to your desk.

Space girl; that was the nickname you gave her after her third week of being here. The nickname made her cheeks hurt from her mouth involuntarily smiling at you.

When Ellie got to work hands-on with you, she couldn’t help but admire. There was just something about seeing you in your element that made her heart beat a little faster. Having someone else who was passionate about the things she was, just made her fall. Hard.

Six months before Ellie was scheduled to explore the stars above, you noticed that her attention would always wander while she was with you. Whenever you did catch her spacing out–pun intended– you liked to ask if her head was in the clouds.

Ellie responds with a smile, “No, but they are in the stars.” Her Ellie Williams smirk makes way to her freckle-filled face.

Yet, behind her flirtatious exterior, Ellie was worried. Her heart yearned for you at every waking moment. She was with you whenever she wasn’t training for her year-long trip. A trip that she has dreamed of making since she was a young girl. She wanted you to be hers, yet she could not bring herself into asking you to be hers. Making you wait a year while she’s miles and miles away felt incredibly unfair. Her leg bounces as her teeth pick at the thin skin of her plush lips as you both sit on her couch watching a movie. Your hand makes its way to her bouncing thigh in hopes to calm the green-eyed girl down.

“Alright, El, talk to me.” You pick up the remote in between you to pause the romcom you begged her to watch with you. You noticed that she has been a bit off for the last few weeks. The two of you would share a moment, you practically begging her to kiss you, and then she would revert herself to the time you first met. You thought that it was just her exhaustion from work, or the anxiety due to take off.

Ellie's thigh came to a halt, her body tensing at being caught. One thing that Ellie came to learn is that it was increasingly hard to lie to you. She found herself always wanting to be honest with you, so as the months have gone by, as her feelings grew, it was harder to hide them from you.

Ellie shakes her head and mumbles a very non-committed, “S’ nothin’.”

Your eyes roll so hard you swear they’d fall out of your sockets and onto the ground. You take her hands in yours as you try to gain her eye contact. Once that doesn’t work, you remove one hand from hers to caress her cheek every so gently. Your soft fingertips grasping her cheek as you turn her chin towards your face. Ellie’s furrowed eyebrows slowly loosen as she sees the worried expression on your face.

“C’mon, you can tell me.” You pout; wanting nothing more than to ease any worry within the girl before you.

An overwhelming sense of warmth encompasses Ellie as her eyes dart from your lips to your eyes, and to your lips once more before she pulls you in for a fairytale kiss. It felt like a mini-universe was being made between the two of you once her lips connected with yours. Months of yearning all poured into this one kiss. It was full of passion as the auburn-haired woman deepened her mouth into yours, her hands trailing up the sides of your body as she pulled you in close to her. God, did Ellie feel stupid. She could have had you this close to her for months if she only had the courage. Your free hand moves to the nape of her neck as you massage her baby hairs. A sigh of contentment slips out of her mouth; you could physically feel the tension in her body melt with every stroke of her head.

You pull away due to lack of oxygen as Ellie's lips trail, not wanting to pull away. You giggle as she pecks your lips, obsessed with the way they feel. Ellie finally allows the both of you to move from each other's lips before she kisses your cheek. Her face beat red and her lips plump from the make-out session you just had.

“That was-” You look up at her dreamily, you finally got the girl.

“Amazing.” Ellie smiles brightly. “I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner, it's just– leaving for the year with little communication isn’t really appealing for a relationship.” Ellie blushes and looks away from your eyes. You were having none of that as you scoop hair behind her ear, her eyes trailing back to yours.

“I’m not an everyday person, I work at NASA with you,” You laugh at her bashfulness. “Plus, you are worth it, Space girl. I’ll be here waiting for you. I’m yours.”

Space Girl, I saw a lunar eclipse

Looked like how I feel 'bout your lips

Space Girl, the only way that we'd end

Was if you were sucked into a black hole

But I'd still spend my days dreaming 'bout you

Dreaming bout you… ๋࣭ ⭑

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 24

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

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The next few days were a whirlwind of events that left Lena with no time to think about anything else, let alone to explore her surroundings, but at last on her fourth evening the final Q&A finished at 6pm and for once would be followed by a clear morning as they traveled on to the next city, so she decided to take advantage of the opportunity she had been given.

After several nights of unbroken sleep on excellent mattresses, and several days of intense focus on the intricate scientific details of her work, Lena felt ready to let her hair down with more than just a bath and an early night. She needed to do something with her body and not her brain for a few hours.

Her visit to Violet’s with Alex had sparked something in Lena, and she decided that that was what she wanted tonight – not just a club, but a club where she could go and drink something with a rainbow straw in it, dance with women, and feel like a whole person who belonged to a beautiful, vibrant community that would welcome her with open arms.

When she had packed her case she hadn’t really considered leisure wear, and most of the clothes she had with her were suits, but she’d brought jeans for traveling, and paired with a shirt left open at the throat, rolled up sleeves and an open waistcoat, she could just about pass for club-casual rather than business formal. The place she found wasn’t one with a strict dress code in any case, and Lena was reassured to notice that the group going in ahead of her were variously sporting an eclectic mix of:

Ripped jeans, sneakers and a tank top.

Velvet pants and a waistcoat not unlike Lena’s, though buttoned up and without the shirt underneath.

A slinky black dress that left just enough to the imagination, creatively paired with a full, bushy red beard sprinkled with glitter and heels so high even Lena would have been worried about breaking an ankle in them.

A full Victorian style tailcoat complete with top hat and monocle.

It was safe to say she was not going to stand out here.

Inside was hot and dimly lit, and more crowded than might be expected for a week night when most people would have to be up for work in the morning (or maybe Lena just didn’t spend enough time on the clubbing scene to gauge it). The music was almost-but-not-quite too loud, and she let it wash over and through her, soaking it all in while she downed her first drink and waited for it to loosen her up enough to get out there. She took in the crowd from the edge of the dance floor, everyone moving with the music’s rhythm in varying degrees of cool, sexy, inebriated, but over all blending into the single, undulating entity of the club.

She couldn’t help her mind wandering briefly to Kara’s dancing style as she watched. Kara would never have faded into the background here, no matter how many people were around her. When she danced she was somehow simultaneously awkward and uninhibited, throwing her whole self into it as she leapt about, waved her arms and created her own made up actions to go along with the lyrics of whatever song was playing. Kara embodied ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ more purely than any other person she had ever met, and being with her gave Lena permission to have fun and be silly with it too, rather than focusing on making her movements look good.

She wished she felt free enough to do that now, but she didn’t. Not without Kara. So she searched out the best dancer in the room and tried to subtly imitate them instead, allowing her body to feel the music in a more restrained way as the beat vibrated in her chest and she tipped her head back, multicoloured lights strobing across her closed eyelids.

Her hips swayed and her arms came up above her head. She was flesh and bone and skin, thrumming blood and rushing breath, all physical sensation and no room for thought or feelings beyond the ones the music gave her.

Then there were hands on her hips and another body in her space, and Lena wasn’t dancing alone anymore.

She looked down from the ceiling to find blue eyes gazing back at her. Blonde waves of hair sweeping bare, toned shoulders. A seductive grin as her pelvis was pulled fractionally closer to another person’s.

It wasn’t Kara.

Of course it wasn’t – what would Kara be doing in Metropolis? But God, for a second she thought it was, and it was as if she had slipped directly into a fantasy.

The woman did look a little like her, superficially. The hair, the skin tone, the blue eyes. But they weren’t really alike. This woman was confident, sensual, practically oozing sex as she swayed her hips in time with Lena’s, her nails digging very slightly into the flesh of her sides.

They danced several songs together, growing more comfortable with each other as they found a shared rhythm, and Lena let herself relax into the feeling of being physical with another person as the woman moved closer still, her breasts brushing Lena’s as they swayed on the tightly packed dance floor. She was near enough now that she barely had to lean forwards to be heard over the thumping bass-line, lips so close that her breath tickled Lena’s ear and made the hairs rise on the back of her neck.

‘I haven’t seen you here before.’

The woman’s voice was a deep velvet rasp, reminiscent of Bonnie Tyler, or a habitual smoker. It was unexpected, but appealing for this woman, in this place, and Lena couldn’t help being drawn by it.

‘I’m just visiting – I’ll be flying out again tomorrow morning.’

‘Well then, we’d better make the most of tonight. I’m Sierra.’

‘Lulu.’

Lena hadn’t wanted to give her real name – it was too distinctive, too recognisable when combined with all the publicity she was garnering this week with her product launch, but she hadn’t consciously decided to go with ‘Lulu’ until the word was out there, irretrievable. Shit, she had better make sure Alex never found out about this story, or she would have an absolute field day.

Sierra smiled at her, playful and teasing as she ran the fingers of one hand down Lena’s bicep.

‘I wouldn’t have pegged you for a Lulu.’

She shrugged, no choice but to go with it now she’d said it.

‘Blame my big sister – she started it, and I guess the nickname just stuck.’

‘Cute. So can I get you a drink Lulu?’

Lena hesitated. But after all why not? She was single, she was here for one more night and had been up front about that, there were no strings, and she was having a good time. A little harmless flirtation in a club would be good for her. They moved over to the bar, and Sierra ordered two margaritas. It wouldn’t have been Lena’s first choice, but she accepted hers without a murmur, and they found a comparatively quiet booth away from the main dance floor to cool off and sip their drinks.

‘So, what brings you to Metropolis?’

‘Just work, but I had the night off so I thought I’d come and see what else the city had to offer.’

She smiled at Sierra, allowing herself a quick approving up-and-down glance that lingered on the woman’s lips for just a beat too long to be accidental on the way back up to meeting her eyes. ‘I’m glad I did.’

Sierra smirked back at her, performing the same quick appraisal in return before leaning forward over the table to better display her cleavage.

‘So am I. What is it you do for work Lulu?’

Urgh, why the hell had Lena gone with Lulu? It had been a terrible idea. Now every time Sierra said her name she thought about Alex, and Project Atlantis, and Kara…

She pushed the thoughts away and tried to focus on the moment instead.

‘I’m an engineer.’

Well, that wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the full story. Sierra’s eyebrows rose, and Lena noticed that she had a little birthmark above one of them, like someone had kissed her there and left a slight smudge of lipstick behind. It was cute. She could imagine kissing that spot herself, straddling Sierra’s lap while the fingers of one hand tangled in her hair and the other roamed lower to Kara’s- no, not Kara. Fuck.

‘You’re just full of surprises. I bet that means you’re really good with your hands.’

Sierra dragged her teeth slowly across her full lower lip as if she could see exactly what sort of thing Lena had been picturing doing with her hands, and she felt her cheeks warm at the thought. She was no stranger to flirting and being flirted with, but this woman was bold, even by her standards. Perhaps that was the difference between flirting at a VIP members only event and an ordinary club. Or perhaps it was just Sierra.

She shrugged with feigned nonchalance, trying to slow things down a bit until she had regained her composure from the mental slip.

‘You could say that... How about you? What do you do when you’re not drinking margaritas with Metropolis tourists?’

‘Oh, I’m a trust fund brat. I more or less do as I like. Get what I like…’

Sierra’s voice was a seductive purr as she laid a hand on Lena’s wrist, running her fingertips lightly over the skin there to show off her long, manicured nails. All but the middle and forefinger, which were trimmed short and filed smooth, blatantly signalling, clearly having no intention at all of slowing down.

‘Do you want to come back to my place for another drink? I think you’ll really like it. I have the best views in the city...’

Lena swallowed.

This wasn’t where she had expected her night to go, but now it was being offered, maybe it should be. It would be easy, anonymous – an itch to scratch to be touched like that when she hadn’t been for so long.

And she did want that.

She desperately missed the feeling of bare skin pressed fully against her own, breaths mingling in the dark, sweat and heat and the shuddering of another person’s body as they found release in each other…

But not like this.

Lena didn’t want a one night stand with a stranger she’d met in a club. She wanted something real.

She wanted Kara.

She drew her hand gently back from Sierra’s and shook her head.

‘I’m sorry. You’re beautiful, but I’m not looking for more than this.’

‘You have a girlfriend?’

‘No. Not… exactly. But there is someone.’

Sierra pulled her own hand back into her lap and smiled at Lena – a real smile this time, not a seductive curl, and it softened her face. She looked unoffended, if mildly disappointed.

‘Lucky someone.’

[specialinterestshows]

Wind down after a long session with your girlfriend in the latest chapter of my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic, Absolute Smokeshow.

Warnings for this section: None!

Song for this section:

-

Absolute Smokeshow (Part 59): Pillow-Talk Lullaby

“Are you going to fall asleep on me, baby?”

The cadence of the gentle words told you just how amused your girlfriend was that you were drifting off, your head resting on her warm thigh, the rest of your naked body curled up on the floor between her legs. Half-awake, you hum quietly - too tired to even try to open your eyes.

“Ah, that’ll do it,” Rhea said, presumably checking the time, “It’s been hours.”

“Mmhmm,” you agree - it hadn’t seemed like hours while it was happening, but your body knew better. It was as though every single muscle had been pushed to its limit and refused to do any more work.

At least the feeling that your arms and legs couldn’t hold you up for the time being was accompanied by a sort of serenity that covered you like a weighted blanket. Recalling the highlights of the last few blissful hours, you chuckled to yourself softly.

“You’re so cute when you’re sleepy,” Rhea muttered, fingers gently running through your hair. The feeling was so comforting, you couldn’t help but smile wider. Today had been full of surprises, all of which had turned out wonderfully. The anxiety that had been itching at the back of your mind about Rhea’s jealousy had dissipated - it was difficult to think of anything right now except how lucky you were.

Still unsure how long she was visiting or when you would see her again once she left, you tried your best to stay awake despite the relaxing feeling of Rhea’s nails running gently across your scalp again and again; even if you couldn’t open your eyes, you didn’t want to miss a moment.

“Looks like it’s bedtime, gorgeous,” Rhea whispered, shifting her weight underneath you and stopping when you groaned in displeasure, “Shhhh, don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

With those words, you felt your girlfriend envelop you in her arms before slowly lifting you off the ground. You nuzzled your face into Rhea’s shoulder as she strode over to your bed and gently planted a kiss on her neck before she set you down on the mattress.

“My sweet girl,” she muttered, kissing your forehead before tucking you in.

The moment you made contact with the bedsheets, you wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in Rhea’s arms - so you grabbed her hand insistently when she brought the blanket up to your chin.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Rhea said, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze, “I’m going to change and get us some more water and I’ll be right back to cuddle with you.”

Reluctantly, you let go and shift slowly under the covers as her gentle footfalls retreat. It’s quiet for a moment until, suddenly, you hear faint singing.

It takes a few bars of unintelligible lyrics before you notice that it’s a familiar tune and you strained your ears once you knew what to listen for.

“I feel you, my heart it sings

I feel you, the joy you bring

Where Heaven waits, to golden gates and back again

You take me to and lead me through oblivion

This is the morning of our love

This is the dawning of our love

I feel you, your precious soul

And I am home”

You didn’t think those were quite the lyrics, but a feeling like flowers rapidly blooming in your chest overtook you all the same as you listened. Casually, you began to wonder how many others were lucky enough to have heard her beautiful, somewhat smoky singing voice.

This led to an image in your mind of every member of The Judgment Day singing along to the music on their road trips between shows. It wasn’t until you thought about it and felt something like a tug deep in your chest that you realized you wished you could join them. All the time. Every trip.

Rhea had switched to humming instead as she walked back into your bedroom. You heard the sound of two glasses being set down nearby as your girlfriend grew quiet, crawling under the blanket and putting her arm around you.

“I love you, pretty girl,” she whispered before kissing the back of your head softly.

“Mmm,” was all you could reply as you grew more and more relaxed.

“You deserve the world...”

You weren’t sure if it was because she thought you were asleep or not, but she kept going.

“… I’m doing everything I can to try and be better. For you. For Dom… It’s just so difficult when I know one of you is with someone else. Something takes over and it’s like I can’t think.”

You were glad she was trying to be self-aware, but couldn’t personally relate - until the last thing she said:

“I just don’t want to lose you.”

[end part fifty-nine of ?]

Part 60: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/739450765767262208/absolute-smokeshow-part-60-of-working-out

-

Tag List (thank you!)

@littlemiss-fanficlover , @babybatlover , @girlofpink , @kagome2909 , @domripley , @wiccanpriestess , @falloutboy-lover , @aut0luminescence

[v3nusxsky]

The perfect day

——————————————————————————

*Authors note| happy valentines to you all and please be kind, although it's the day for love not everyone has the pleasure to experience this.  Have a lovely day my darlings*

Trigger warning~ past abusive relationships

Prompt ~ prompt 1 (please talk to me) and prompt 99 (I don't want to be me anymore) really need some protective/worried Larissa content requested by my darling idkaname666666 on wattpad

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

This time of year always seems to haunt you. And although you understand it's a day based of saint valentine, really what you were taught to expect from this day was not what you received. Honestly, growing up you'd be exposed to others receiving gestures of love, or quality time together with their significant other. Hell you even got to feel all their emotions, yet never being allowed the same feelings to be truly yours. No all you got was trauma. Now you wish you could say you were rather exaggerating this but no. Not one Valentine's Day had not resulted in something horrid taking place. In fact your first partner constantly reminded you it was to celebrate love. Something she believed you to be unworthy of. So that definitely puts a downer on it.

You found the strength to leave that toxic human and that's how you ended up in Nevermore. It must have been fated that Nevermore needed a teacher to teach creative arts. And you just so happened to have your degree in that specific field. Admittedly, your unique talent of empathy made it the obvious choice. Art is your distraction, your saving grace when emotions become too overwhelming. The interview process went amazingly well, you were interviewed by the headmistress herself. She was a goddess that was for sure, absolutely stunning and had you stuttering over you words with just a glance. Besides her striking nature kindness radiates from her aura. Hell the women saw how nervous you were in her presence and waited to start the interview until you had calmed yourself. And it was her, who called to tell you that it was yours should you still want it. This all happened 8 months ago. How time flys when your having fun.

After spending a wonderful Christmas together and bringing in the new year together with a class of wine, you knew what the next holiday was. During the last few weeks your mood had soured significantly. It was a deep dark juxtaposition to your normal care free and loving personality. A lot harder for you to hide, and even if you did manage to hide it from others, your girlfriend knew. Although she didn't quite understand what had caused such a reaction from you, she knew you were hurting. It's not something that had come up in your relationship yet, and talking about it was way too painful for you. When the valentines dance flyers began to surface so did your night terrors. You stopped joining Larissa in her room and isolated yourself to your own. Not wanting to upset or hinder her in any way. Which is how you came to be in the present moment. The night before the dreaded v day. Emotions running rampant within. And you couldn't even be mad if Larissa did nothing for you, after all you didn't deserve anything and you'd been pushing her away for weeks now.  All you planned to do was sleep the dreaded day away and come back the next day.

Music has always been a coping strategy for you, your nature to feel emotions allowed the words to resonate with you, even going as far to comfort you with the songs soothing lyrics. Which is why you now laid in your bed, sweats and hoodie drowning your delicate form listening to the words pouring from the speaker in the bedside table.

"I don't know I don't know why somethings have to be this way." Caught your attention if your honest, why did it have to be like this. Was this a punishment from those above?

"All is fair in love and war. I can't do this anymore, fooled me from the start" well that was most definitely true. She had wooed you with the sweetest melody's of her words, only to rip them away so cruelly. Tainting the day for you forever. You knew that as soon as the clock struck midnight you'd be swarmed with the puppy love from the students in the close raids of you. You can't do this again this year.  It was the knock at your door that caught your attention. You weren't expecting anyone. Hell, it was after hours students should be in their down periods before lights out. That only left one person who'd be visiting you. The one person you'd been actively avoiding.

You didn't even need to open the door, you could feel her. Concern and confusion radiating from her, she entered the room cautiously unsure of what would greet her. And you could feel the heartbreak as she laid eyes on you. Curled up in bed, baggy clothes and tears streaming down your cheeks silently. When did you start to cry? "Oh darling, what's wrong my love?" She murmured making her way to you, wanting to gather you in her arms and protect you from whatever was bothering you. You seemed so small in the bed being swallowed by the covers and your clothing. It was truly a heartbreaking sight.  You allowed the taller women to shift into the bed and gather you in her arms. Your head now resting over her beating heart, you felt the sobs leave your body. Harsh sobs but no sound followed them. You hardly noticed the music being shut off. "Oh darling, please talk to me" she murmured into the room. You tried to stutter out you were fine but the sobs betraying you, you laid in her embrace gasping for air in an attempt to respond. Immediately you felt soothing fingers scratching at your scalp. She always did this, it soothed you in such a unique way, something you haven't experienced until her. The silence was soothing. You could feel your girlfriend trying to radiate calm and love into her aura causing a little smile to grace your lips. She was always so thoughtful about your ability.

"I don't want to be me anymore" you whimpered out almost so inaudibly you were unsure if she caught it. You nuzzled further into her, effectively hiding in her neck not wanting to seem anymore weak than you did already. "Darling? What's causing such a distress for you? I don't quite understand my love. Why don't you want to be you no more? I adore you darling" she reassured you never stopping her comforting actions. And that's when you broke down in her arms and explained everything. She was amazingly patient with you, when you'd trail off into thought or when you'd pause overcome with the emotions that came with the story. Your guard wasn't as strong as normal and some of the emotions ended up being projected around the room. Yet your tall goddess handled it with grace and reassured you that it was okay. You were safe. And she was here. She held you till you cried yourself into an exhausted slumber.

When consciousness returned to you, you felt well rested for the first time in weeks. Immediately you noticed the lack of your girlfriend, sadness hitting you quicker than a lightening strike. Had you dreamed last night? Before you allowed your self to wallow in what you thought would be another hellish Valentine's Day, a knock to your door flooded the room. Curiosity got the better of you and you trudged your way to the door yanking it open, only to be met with nothing. Well not nothing. Glancing down at your feet you noticed something. A weathervane coffee cup and a white bag sat there neatly waiting to be picked up. A small note attached to the cup.  Quickly re entering the safety of your room you allowed yourself a peak into the bag. It was only your all time favourite pastry. And the note causing a smile to grace your lips.

My darling Y/n...

Someone as special as you deserves to be treated as though they are royalty. I hope you enjoy your breakfast my darling girl~ L.W finished the press of her lipstick covered lips.

Tears sprang into your eyes, this was a feeling like no other. She'd taken the time in her busy morning routine to do something so sweet for you. Your brain struggling to process the fact that it was just for you. You decided to get yourself ready. Not for you but for her. Hoping to be able to repay her for such a lovely gesture. Little did you know that was just the beginning. All throughout the day, little notes were delivered to you in various ways. Some even coming with little gifts attached. You loved them all, but one of your favourites was the ones that Enid and Wednesday delivered to you. Wednesday held a single red rose keeping her usual demeanour while Enid was practically vibrating with excitement holding a simple note. Taking both and thank the girls you glanced over the note and smelt your rose before continuing with your class.

It was the end of the school day, you had yet to see your lover. The desire and need to thank her for such wonderful, thoughtful gestures was overwhelming by this point. Of course you'd attempted to find her however, you were suspiciously unsuccessful. You settled down to finish your grading and filing and got lost in it. Only when a knock to your door came did you realise how late it had become. Once again there was no one there but a note. This note shorter than the rest but sighed in the same way. This note held one simple instruction. Which you immediately scrambled to follow hoping it would lead you to your lover.

The door to her room left open as a silent invitation, you slipped in and shut the door behind yourself gasping in shock when you turned around. The usually simplistic room was now sporting a deep red theme. String lights and candles providing a comfortable lighting and setting the atmosphere perfectly. Red heart shaped balloons floated along the ceiling, rose petals creating a path from the door to the bed and the bed to the bathroom and covering the bed spread in an intricate yet beautiful pattern of your initials. Tears sprang to your eyes and began crusading down your cheeks.

You made your way to the balloons dangling above the bed, taking time to carefully examine every one. This was like nothing you'd ever experienced before. There was a reason why Larissa loves you accompanied with a picture of either of you or ones together. Even a few canid ones that you had no idea she'd caught. It was only then that slender yet comforting arms wrapped around your waste, her voice wrapping around you. "Y/n, my darling please don't cry my love"

"Larissa, this is just" you trailed off not being able to find the words, but pushing your emotions into the room. Allowing her to feel everything you felt which resulted in a shiver from the older women. She then took your arm and guided you to the bathroom to see a bath drawn with rose petals and candles. Two big white fluffy towels resting on the sink waiting to be used. Larissa decided to help free you from your clothing, taking her time to bestow sweet kisses to every inch of your exposed skin. Ensuring she whispered a string of compliments with every kiss. That was how you found yourself settling in the bath, your back against your lovers front while her arms wrapped around you just soaking in the moment. "Happy Valentine's Day my darling. I hope you truly know how much you mean to me. You deserve to be treated like this and so much more my love" she whispered pressing her lips into the crown of your head. You were highly emotional. This was everything and more to you. Something you'd never imagined you'd receive in your wildest dreams. Overcome with emotion you opted to turn and bring your lips to hers in a loving kiss. "Thank you my darling Rissa, I love you more than words can explain, thank you for showing me what a beautiful day this can be. I regret I haven't be able to shower you with the same love my darling" you whimpered  hoping to show how much you truly adored this goddess. "My darling your happiness and love is all i need" she reassured and held you more securely, "now my beautiful one please rest" and that you did. The most perfect night, more than you could ever dream for resulting in you falling into a peaceful slumber in Larissa's arms.

Word count ~2168

*Authors note~ I hope you all had an amazing day today. It's such a hard day for myself so writing this is purely self indulgent of me. Everyone deserves a Larissa to spoil them*

[heavenbelongstociaran]

me and my wilmon playlist

i like to think of myself as the second coming of christ when it comes to making playlists right, and i have this completely reasonable in length young royals playlist and i feel like i nailed it, in terms of the general vibe of the show AND scene specific themes.

ANYWAY, the reason i'm bringing it up is because i think there are a few songs that are very season specific that are in there.

season 1: visions of gideon by sufjan stevens

I KNOW everyone and their mother would agree that this song is very tragically wilmon.

"I have loved you for the last time

Is it a video? Is it a video?

I have touched you for the last time

Is it a video? Is it a video?"

giving very much episode six, when simon and wille were saying goodbye just before wille left for the palace. even though simon was being reassuring, comforting and encouraging (calling him brave, saying the royal court couldn't force him to do something he didn't want to do), wille (imo) didn't seem to believe him. and i think the way they kissed just made it seem like wille had already made his mind up, even though he said that he wouldn't lie about the video. it felt like he knew he was going to do it, and that it would inevitably be the end of the relationship, hence the lyrics being "i have loved/touched you for the last time."

honourable mentions include:

i'm your man by mitski

on and on by djo

favourite crime by olivia rodrigo

love in the dark by adele

it almost worked by tv girl

hurts me too by faye webster

take me home by pinkpantheress

let light be light by lizzy mcalpine

season 2: crack baby by mitski

gonna start with the honourable mentions first because there are loads:

i loved you by sunday cruise

thursday girl by mitski

why didn't you stop me by mitski

capable of love by pinkpantheress

genuinely, there are so many more but these are the ones that popped into my head as i was scrolling through the playlist.

you know that one saying that's like, "you never know how good you had it until it's gone" or however it goes? that's how season 2 felt.

both simon and wille were trying to recreate what they had or could have had with other people (marcus and felice, respectively) and realised that that would be impossible.

"Crack baby, you don't know what you want But you know that you had it once And you know that you want it back Crack baby, you don't know what you want But you know that you're needing it And you know that you need it bad"

said realisation definitely hurt wille incredibly, considering he said he wished it hadn't happened. it made him realise what life could be like, but he threw that away because he thought he was doing the right thing by denying the video ("protecting" simon). i actually have no idea how to explain this but like, trust me bro.

season 3: too many to name.

heaven by mitski. these fuckers were so in love this season, it was quite sickening (/affection). thinking about season three wilmon makes me want to cry, ignoring their communication issues, and other things that had a negative impact on their relationship.

a part of that by anna kendrick. HERE ME OUT. so, the song is from the movie adaptation of the play "the last five years" and anna's character, kathy, is watching her husband succeed and do all these amazing things in his life and is wondering where she fits into all of it. in season three and maybe the whole series, there's the topic of where the big five fit into the society or positions they're placed in and their positions in each other's lives. wille's struggle w/the monarchy and wanting out, august wanting in (for example).

dark circles by ryan beatty. this has simon written all over it.

casino by ryan beatty.

capable of love by pinkpantheress. goes with what i yapped about regarding season two. whenever they break, or rather when simon breaks up with simon, they seem to feel like this is the be all, end all of everything and that they won't love anyone ever again. in capable of love, pinkpantheress is saying that people pretend that the bond that she has with her love interest doesn't exist, ie people ignoring the fact that simon and wille were together at one point and only acknowledging wille when he got with felice BUT she also says that that doesn't matter, considering everything they went through to get to where they are now. she goes on to say that she'll never be able to love anyone the same way if they were to ever break up and i think that, throughout the series, this has shone through.

ribbons by ryan beatty. https://genius.com/31122186/Ryan-beatty-ribbons/Whos-gonna-hold-you-while-you-sleep-well-its-brave-to-be-nothing-to-no-one-at-all

little faith by ryan beatty!!!!!! (quite frankly, the entire album, Calico.)

general

there are a lot of songs that could encompass the show. capable of love. literally any loyle carner song about struggling with your identity and familial relationships and breaking cycles (polyfilla). sufjan stevens (mystery of love, everything that rises). so on and so forth. but wilmon and the young royals are not one dimensional enough to be described by one or eighteen songs, they're a whole catalogue. that playlist on paper is the most random thing i have ever crafted because fo&o, boygenius and brockhampton have no right to be in the same playlist, but hurt like we did, cool about it and any way want me absolutely deserve to be together; in a cool way, i think that's literally what simon and wille are like: on paper, they don't make sense. the crown prince of sweden, white and privileged and a gay brown boy from a small town who just happens to be an antimonarchist, but if you take that all away, they're two boys trying to find their place in the world, making mistakes.

feel free to give feedback and song recs !!!

playlist links:

apple music: https://music.apple.com/za/playlist/young-royals-but-i-made-the-soundtrack/pl.u-6mo4ZzvSBedVApW

spotify: (i haven't updated it on there in at least six months): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25Pf9bDFBl6vtXOH9cvJC5?si=0b8a0ff36bb5435e

[noonaishere]

Music of the Heart [J.YH] - seventy-two | she’s a me

You walked into the studio.

“Sorry I’m late. My bus had a thing, and I had to wait for another one, and then there was traffic… What are you two doing?”

Hongjoong and Maddox were surrounded on all sides of the desk by papers.

“We got song submissions and we’re getting ready to listen. Put your stuff down.” Hongjoong said as he got the first cd ready.

You did as he said and pulled out a notebook, maybe you’d have something to make notes about.  Hongjoong put the cd in the computer and pressed Start.

“My name is Yujin. I’m sixteen. Um---”

She sounded so young. Hongjoong frowned and looked at the pile CDs. 

“How’d this get in here?” He asked as he flipped over the case it was in and looked at the back.

“What?” You asked.

“This is supposed to be song submissions from the producers we normally work with. This is from a bunch of kids in a band.”

“Maybe it was an accident?” Maddox offered.

Hongjoong shut it off.

“Wait--” You said.

He turned to you.

“Can we listen to it at least?”

He nodded and started it again.

“My name is Yujin. I’m sixteen. Um… I play bass… okay.” She laughed awkwardly. “Okay, I mean… I just started. But I’ve been practicing really hard and I’ve written a few songs with some friends of mine, and… if Wonderland is looking for a group of teenagers who want to speak their minds and make the world a better place through music… look no further. Are you ready guys?”

“Yeah!” Three other voices joined her.

“One! Two! One, two, three, four!” 

The drummer counted and they all started playing… reasonably well. It wasn’t stellar, you wouldn’t even call it great, but for a bunch of teenagers who hadn’t been playing that long, it was better than okay. The fact that they submitted an original song was what really wowed you; they seemed to understand how to structure a song already and the lyrics weren’t half bad. At the very least they weren’t hackneyed or cliché.

“What is this?” You asked.

“Let me check if they sent any notes or anything…” Hongjoong sorted through the papers on the desk as he looked for it. Maddox also looked and eventually found them, handing them to Hongjoong.

“It says… they’re a band of four called ONIIX? Two boys and two girls.” He read the notes for a moment before handing it to you. “Holy shit, read what she wrote.”

There was a huge paragraph about their concept: how the members were aliens and looking for galactic peace, but that they had been stranded on earth and there was something they had to fight which - really - was just a thinly veiled metaphor for capitalism.

You chuckled.“I get the distinct feeling one of them had to read Ayn Rand during English class at some point and hated it.”

“Why?”

You smiled. “Because who actually likes Ayn Rand?”

He tilted his head in agreement. “You’re not wrong.”

“I’m very right.” 

He chuckled.

You went back to reading the notes. You were pleasantly surprised at how creative someone as young as these kids could be. How creative any kid could be if they were allowed. Something in you was almost jealous; you wished you had the opportunity to make your own decisions about the world at their age. All you had really got as far at that time was, ‘Everything sucks and nothing matters’ but that was just because you were being ground down under your mother’s boot and were under parental house arrest for almost half a year until graduation. Even after that, you had a hard start to your adulthood because all you had was the money in your pocket, a suitcase half-filled with clothes, and your bass. You definitely empathized with their hatred of capitalism because of that.

And who wouldn’t want to make the world a better place?

“They listed a bunch of influences, look at the American bands they picked.” You handed it back to him.

He read: “Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, Rage Against the Machine…”

“Oh, you like them,” Maddox pointed out.

He nodded. “The Cramps, Nirvana, Lunachicks, L7, Bikini Kill…”

“Quite the punk rock appetite.” You said.

He nodded.

“What they’ve submitted doesn’t sound explicitly punk though.”

He nodded again. “Much more rock, but not particularly indie or pop.”

You nodded. “I wonder if that’s a stylistic choice or just their lack of ability.”

He nodded as he looked at you.

You didn’t know what to do, so you nodded again.

Maddox laughed. “Are you two communicating?”

Hongjoong continued to look at you.

You looked at Maddox, who shrugged, and back to Hongjoong, who now had an eyebrow raised.

“What?”

“...Would you want to train a bassist?”

You laughed. He couldn’t be serious.

He continued to look at you passively. He was serious.

 “Would that mean a new job title as well?” You raised an eyebrow.

He smiled. “I think I can finagle another pay line.”

“Ha… You trying to make me indispensable or something?”

He smiled. “I think… if we have a bunch of ‘Fuck the System’ kids who want to make music because they love it… you should be the one to teach the one who plays the same instrument as you.”

“Oh… I’ve never taken classes. I don’t know if I could teach it.”

“I’ve never taken production classes and yet I’m teaching you music production.”

“...Oh.”

Hongjoong smiled.

You looked at all the papers all over the desk as you thought. Could you teach someone to play bass? You’d have to look up lessons online or something to see how other people did it. But also: ‘Should you teach someone?’ was maybe the better question.

“You don’t have to decide now,” Hongjoong said, your eyes snapping to him. “We have to listen to all of the song submissions anyway, but we’ll hold onto this on the side.”

You nodded as he put the CD and its paper in his drawer.

“I’ll ask you again in a week or so.”

You nodded again.

He nodded back at you.

Maddox looked between the two of you and narrowed his eyes. “Are you two sure you aren’t communicating?”

Both of you laughed. 

Hongjoong clapped his hands together. “Okay, let’s listen to the actual song submissions.”

*ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ʰᵉᵃʳᵈ ᵐᵒⁿᵏˢ ᶜᵒⁿˢᶦᵈᵉʳ ᶦᵗ ᵗʰᵉ “ᵐᵉᵈᶦᵗᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ ˢᵗᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ”

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[2n2n]

I love the opening song of jibaku shounen hanako-kun and when I see the comments and reviews about the anime, there are a lot of positive reviews about the opening. So out of curiosity, what do you think of the opening in question, music and other aspects. And if there's anything you don't like

I have talked a bit about the mysterious lyrics of it here, if that's interesting (it might not be).... I'm really intrigued that it is a bespoke song for the anime ABOUT its subjects-- not just a pop song retooled or something-- I find that sweet, for aidairo-sensei it must have felt like a dream.

as for the OP's audio, it's not really my genre or style of music. It's kind of typical sounding for an anime OP, lol.... you know, 'cool'. I find it difficult to listen to all the way through-- for me, the sound is grating & unpleasant.

.... I would also say it doesn't quite suit the story to me.... ? It's 'cool' in such a straightforward way, when this is 'a heartfelt toilet comedy' as aidairo-sensei put it... it's neither particularly ah, playful, nor tender. In terms of sound/tone it feels like it could be the OP of any shounen, like a BNHA, or a sports anime. Even if lyrically, it's doing something quite intriguing.... I wish the instruments had more of a ghost-y feel to them, if nothing else... but ideally, I want a hint of romance!!

As for the visual component, I like the Yugi imitating each other's gestures, and I overall like the high-saturation or jewel-tone color of the anime. It's mostly just re-using shots from the anime itself, so I can only comment on so much of the animation. It's like a clip show.... I accept that the budget might have necessitated that, I won't harp on it-- it's lucky it has an anime at all...! but I don't have much to say about it.

On the one hand, I'm really glad they decided to animate this interstitial illustration aida-sensei did (I wish they could animate all of her stylish interstitial!) because it's a wonderful illustration.....

... on the other hand, I seriously think it was ruinous for the western fandom, who proceed to obsess over it endlessly as though impossibly significant (maybe to justify their own fixation on it lol...). By virtue of the repetition of it as one watches episodes, forcing one to consider it again & again, this image may as well be a School Mystery, for all the rumors surrounding it. I seriously think this shot alone is responsible for at least 75% of 'Tsukasa is a sexual menace' headcanons, no matter what has happened since....

In reality however, it's really fun the OP elected to pull its audience in THIS direction with THIS kind of fanservice image. It's a sexy shot and it's using its sex appeal for the greater good. This is one of the few wholly original pieces of animation in the OP, so... damn, they really made that decision, you know? I respect that. Of all the things to represent, LOL. It would have gotten me as a teenager, so..............................................

well, moving from the OP to other things you didn't ask about:

I actually like both the ED & After-School boy's ED songs much more....! I think they suit the tone, respectively, better! Also... both of those are sung by Nene-chan's VA, which is so wonderful! She's our star, truly... it's very moving that she was cast with a VA with singing experience (Hanako/Tsukasa's too though, and we know Tsukasa & Nene-chan sing together in canon eventually, so....)... TT__TT.... you don't really get any better than the VAs of characters themselves singing for the anime!!!!

in terms of the ED, the tone represents the heart of JSHK well... love, devotion, preciousness... the visuals are also simplistic, strong, beautiful, minimalist, powerful. Of all the material thus far, it's my favorite.

And then, in terms of After-School Boy's ED.... it represents the silly & flirty-wirty aspects of JSHK well LOL, I remember hearing it the first time, and being like.... they really did that.... !!!!! ....this one,, captures Nene-chan's energy so perfectly HAHA... visually it's boring, but urrggh it's a great song haha, it really ruined my husband when it came out... he had to like, forget about it to protect himself....

Cannot overstate my love for both of those songs!!!

I'm really hoping for season 2, we get a new OP/ED, & I'm hoping that the manga has enough of a presence now that it can afford to do something bolder for its OP....? I would love wholly original animations for it.... perhaps taking more inspiration from Aida-sensei's many full-color illustrations.....

I guess in terms of anime OP that I really like overall, I think Brotherhood's first OP was really, really strong. It had the right tone, beautiful animation, powerful imagery (and I'm not an FMA stan overall?)... however, obviously such a powerfully funded & supported anime/manga would be able to afford that kind of thing, I'm not that delusional to think JSHK could afford that, haha. ... JSHK also has such a wholly different tone & theme from FMA lol (a tone I like better, at that!) but something, hmm-- melancholy, tender, would capture the heart of Picture Perfect to me, you know....! Which is coming up....for the anime....!!!

This is such a basic pull I know because it's Literally a legendary anime that influences like all anime, but Rose of Versailles OP is absolute perfection from sound to visual. Oscar enveloped in the roses thorns....!!!!! it's minimally animated, but it uses its symbolism & iconography for deep impact!!! You really don't need crazy animation to have an amazing OP!!!!

I think JSHK's ED is one of my favorites overall, but another I love that suits its series so well to me, is Inuyasha's second ED. It's functioning on more of a budget & reuses footage from the anime, so there you have that-- but I like what they've added in. It feels attainable... for Inuyasha, this kind of moody song is ideal. Again it's a different tone from JSHK or FMA or RoV, but I hope you can understand what I mean by like... the vibes of the OP/ED suiting the series itself in some way.... it should be unique according to the anime's themes, you know?

[oro-e-diamanti]

CYOA - Part One

Masterlist | Taglist

Word count: 980

Warnings: none

A/N: Hope you enjoy the start of this! Get voting and decide how the story will continue!

“This is the worst fucking idea,” you mumble to yourself as your best friend drags you into the main arena, clutching your wrist in unparalleled excitement.

“I did not just hear you say that because this is, in fact, the best fucking idea in the world and when I tell you that you’ll share my opinion in about…” Bella trails off to check the clock on her phone. “... twenty minutes when they’re done playing their first song, I mean it.”

The world around you seems to explode with sound as you realise just how many people are gathered in this place. The arena is filled with excited chatter, some sort of playlist put up to provide somewhat unnecessary background music to get everyone even more hyped, and your head is spinning with the amount of awe-inspiring outfits around you.

Bella did her best to help you out, knowing fully way this isn’t exactly your scene and you barely even heard of the band you’re seeing, but you almost feel like an invisible wallflower next to the mass of short skirts and seethrough tops and harnesses adorning various body parts. Even if the dress and the fishnet tights and the bold lipstick are already a novelty to you.

“Yes! Barrier spot!” Bella chimes, once again pulling you with more strength than necessary.

“Barrier… on the sound desk?”

She holds back on rolling her eyes, just barely. “If you looked closely, you’d see that we’re not here to be excited about the sound desk but about the little stage behind it. We’re way too late to get anywhere towards the front in this crowd, but we’ll be first row for the acoustic set in the middle of the show.”

You nod along, only halfway following what she’s talking about but trusting her anyway. She’s been to a number of Måneskin concerts - and has told you the ins and outs in incredible detail, whether you asked for it or not - and you know she’ll make sure both of you will have a good time.

And you do.

You only recognise about three songs in the whole set, but you soon find it doesn’t matter in the slightest - in fact, a few minutes in you’re sure no one would even think of you as a complete newbie anymore. You dance, you shout along to lyrics you don’t know, you let Bella twirl you around during a slow song.

What at first looks like an annoying spot to stand turns out to be a blessing in disguise. While crew members keep politely asking to be let through as you’re right next to where the barrier opens toward the sound desk, it is also the very way that the singer and guitarist (“Damiano and Thomas!” Bella screams into your ear.) pass as they enter the little secondary stage for their acoustic set. And you’d be damned if you don’t see Damiano send you a wink as he passes you by. Your attempt to catch Thomas’ eye too - just as gorgeous as the singer, simply in a different way - goes undetected as his attention seems to be solely trained on his guitar.

And while you find that a bit of a shame, you can’t deny you enjoy watching him and Damiano up close, if just for those few songs. Maybe you wish you could have seen the other two (“Vic on bass! The one behind the drums is Ethan, it’s so annoying he’s so far back because he’s so fucking pretty!”) quite as intimately.

The evening goes over much too quickly. You don’t even have to admit it, liking it after all, the band, the crowd, the atmosphere, because Bella can see it all over your face.

“Told you!” she squeals. “Told you that you’d love it!”

You simply let her hug you, accepting her overwhelm of emotions, happy to share a moment that is so important to her, even if you’d never quite gotten into… fandom like that. She spins the both of you around a little, just enough for you to spot something on the floor, in front of the barrier, where people are moving away and making their way outside the arena. Bella barely notices you breaking the hug and walking around her to pick it up, already engrossed in her phone.

“Ooh! Brand new information!”

You don’t pay her much attention as you flip over the item in your hand, but she continues.

“According to, uh, my sources, there’s a good chance they might turn up at a certain club later. And with “them” I mean the band. Obviously. And with “a certain club” I mean the club we’re definitely going to be heading to asap. What do you say?”

It’s a pass. An AAA pass - access all areas. A female name on it, no photo. Someone seems to have lost it.

And now you’re in for a decision.

Option A: The pass really isn’t your problem. Someone’s lost it and someone will come find it again. You drop it on the floor and decide to go with Bella’s plan. You’ve had a good night so far, you might as well keep up the energy and go out, right?

Option B: Someone might get in trouble for loosing their pass and it kind of makes you feel bad to have it in your hands and not help out. No one at the sound desk reacts to your attempt to get their attention, so you decide to go up to the front of the room and wave down a security guard to hand it over. He has to take it, doesn’t he?

Option C: As soon as Bella sees the pass in your hand, you can see in her eyes that she wants you to do one thing and one thing only: Make the most of this unlikely opportunity and sneak backstage. What’s the worst that could happen?

Taglist: @wonderlandishell @writingmaneskin @myleftsock @dianachudova @cheese-toastie-11 @Ursulalurks (won't let me tag you, I'm sorry)

[smoothoperador]

K NO BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT.

cause yeah ttpd is SO boring. like i know most of the songs are 3+ min but tbh most of them don’t sound like songs! gun to my head i couldn’t tell you the difference between the prophecy the manuscript chloe or sophia or marcus or whateverthefuck that song is called.

i miss when she put actual effort into her albums, like red. like the tv of red is so amazing, but with 1989 tv it just feels SO lacking especially in the production, and the vault songs don’t even sound like songs! like with red and fearless and even speak now we got fully produced songs that felt special, but with 1989 tv and 80% of ttpd it sounds like scraps she picked up from the floor and glued them together to make a semblance of a song and it’s so disheartening from someone who has genuinely loved her music for years and the different eras but now it all sounds the same

yeah i've been vocal about how much I dislike her new stuff dating back to midnights. i really DON'T LIKE this stripped down, minimalistic synthpop where everything is the same note and there is not a single drum or guitar and i found midnights quite frankly very underwhelming upon its release, but i figured to each their own; besides, taylor's sound famously always evolves in between eras. but she never departed from that direction, which i honestly don't know who to fault for... is it because she genuinely likes it and thinks it's her forte? (it's not. her forte is dramatic storytelling and epic guitars. her forte is speak now and folklore!!) is it because jack and aaron pull her in that direction? is it because she comes to them with half-assed ideas and they're too reluctant to go against their wishes? is it simply mass production of songs? idk, but what she knows is that she could release out a voice memo of her singing the abcs and it would go platinum.

the 1989 vault tracks were the ones i was looking forward to the most, and they were truly disappointing... 1989 had a clear line of production that i loved, but all of the vault tracks were CLEARLY produced after (or during) midnights. now it all feels like midnights rejects that didn't make the cut, and to be honest the last release that felt like it really belonged on its original album is all of the girls you loved before (and sntv vault tracks i guess, i didn't like them tho)

but even THEN midnights was bearable because it had highs (songs that were different, like snow on the beach; or songs that were poignant, like yoyok) but ttpd ... ttpd is unforgivably BLAND. all the songs mesh into one another, even without the sour aftertaste of matty healy the lyrics are abysmal in comparison to what she's come up with before. theres a few good songs hiding in there (so long london and who's afraid are my faves (but once again im gonna hunt down the coward who couldn't make it an actual ROCK song as it shouldve been), i hate it here could also be cute were it not for the corny gen-z title and horrible horrible 1830s lyric), but theyre all undermined by this boring ass coating that envelops the whole album and also drowned out by the sound of 31 SONGS (!!!!) 31 songs is like thrice the size of some albums and it's TOO. MUCH. doesn't give room for the good songs to shine and also pollutes the air with tracks that clearly should've never left taylor's diary. (ttpd song, bdilh, guilty as sin etc are all SO BAD AND ICKY theyre unforgivable)

i've said this before but taylor is truly the mcu of the music industry: she has an incredibly strong and devoted fanbase, she's easily accessible (as in she makes fun pop and pop rock with easy lyrics and hooks which is something MOST of the general public enjoys), she comes out with several new installments a year (of varying quality...), and the longer it goes the more enjoying her and her music requires an encyclopedic knowledge of her previous works (with all the references, easter eggs, etc). and im really sad to think we'll never see the daring taylor that released red when everyone was highly skeptical of the mixed pop/country sound, or the taylor that has the range to make both better than revenge and ivy.

[rosie-bee]

I feel like I should share that my latest project has been deciding what Taylor Swift albums SPOP characters are, and writing down what lyrics from each song best represent those characters. This is just a brief summation of my findings:

🦋Debut for Sea Hawk: I have a feeling that were it a genre in Etheria, Sea Hawk would quite enjoy country. He’s quite the dramatic and spends most of his time pining or causing chaos. Also he sets boats on fire a lot, and that feels fitting with the slight chaos energy of young Taylor. Best fitting songs are A Place In This World, Invisible, and I’m Only Me When I’m With You. I also included Paper Rings.

🫶Fearless for Perfuma: I gave this to Swift Wind for a while, then realized only like maybe five songs at most fit. Also, I like Perfuma a lot more. I feel like there’s a lot of confidence and bravery in Fearless, and that feels like it fits Perfuma and especially confidence she instilled in Scorpia. Most fitting songs are Fearless, Change, and Today Was A Fairytale. I also added the lakes.

☂️Speak Now for Glimmer: Obviously of course! She’s sparkly, dramatic, petulant and literally a princess! There’s a lot of love and care as well as a lot of fear and hurt within Speak Now. Aesthetically, lyrically, and sonically the album is so very Glimmer! Best fitting songs are Back to December, Innocent, Long Live, and Castles Crumbling. I also included Bejeweled.

🧣Red for Hordak: Okay, maybe a hot take. The opening track has the lyrics “you come around and the armor falls” and “you’re my Achilles heel” which to me couldn’t be more perfect! Also the obvious self worth issues and the fact that he’s pretty clearly in breakup mentality all of season 4. Best fitting songs are State of Grace, Treacherous, and The Last Time. I also added You Are In Love, The Great War, Guilty as Sin, loml, and I Hate It Here.

🗽1989 for Adora: Again has some pretty huge self worth issues. Also just have a feeling she’d be a synth pop girl! It’s also an album about finding worth in spending time with friends, back and forths, and features a rekindled love! Best fitting songs are I Wish You Would, Bad Blood, and Wonderland. I also included The Lucky One, Nothing New and Clara Bow. Also new addition to this post: I added Safe & Sound and Eyes Open. She’s the main character so she gets lots of extra songs.

📰reputation for Catra: Who else of course? There are a few playlists for characters made by one of the show creators, and Catras fittingly has Look What You Made Me Do on this playlist. Fits well too with both the villainous character Taylor plays throughout the album, but also with themes of finding love during her darkest times. Best fitting songs are I Did Something Bad, Look What You Made Me Do, and Dancing With Our Hands Tied. I also included Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me and imgonnagetyouback.

💘Lover for Bow: He quite literally wears a heart on his chest, and seems to really love everything that makes Lover! He really values those close to him, and while he’s anxious often he’s able to grow a lot as a person and work past it all. Best fitting songs are The Archer (of course), Death By A Thousand Cuts, and It’s Nice To Have A Friend. Also by reminder of it being in his official playlist, I included New Years Day. Long Live would also fit, but I feel it fits the entire best friend squad, so it can stay with Glimmer.

🪩folklore for Angella: This album was the hardest choice. Angella is clearly a very anxious woman with the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. She has so much to be angry and sad for. She’s also quite fairy like. Best fitting songs are my tears ricochet, this is me trying, and peace.

🌲evermore for Micah: I think most of all evermore is an album about mourning loss. Micah has both had to be mourned, and himself has lost so much. It also felt fitting given the fact that Micah is a sorcerer. Best fitting songs are gold rush, long story short, and evermore.

🕛Midnights for Entrapta: Could be a sort of hot take, but for me as an autistic and very anxious person, Midnights resonated with me a lot, so I feel it could resonate with her. Entrapta definitely seems to be quite a sleepless person. She’s also subject to a lot of completely unfair scrutiny by people in her life. Best fitting songs are Anti-Hero, Mastermind, and Hits Different. I also added I Can See You, Renegade, Down Bad, and But Daddy I Love Him (gonna have to read what I wrote for an explanation on that)

🖋️The Tortured Poets Department for Scorpia: I know it sounds crazy, I very much do, so hear me out. Scorpia is incredibly loyal and also a terminal people pleaser. In the end, that got her so very hurt when she finally reached the conclusion that someone she deeply cared for had not been a good friend to her. She in the end found people who loved her dearly, and helped her find the good in the world again. I don’t think at all that’s the overarching theme of TTPD as a whole, but a very good amount of song lyrics can be applied to Scorpia. Best fitting songs I found were My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, So Long London, and Peter. I also included You’re Losing Me.

Any added songs are justified by the fact that I Can Do Whatever I Want Forever. Once I actually have these done I’ll probably post them and include links on this post. Some are done, but I’m still working on Debut, Fearless, Evermore, and TTPD. So far I’ve only sent these to some of my friends who enjoy my ramblings and writings on my special interests.

[pokememes]

I have thoughts on ttpd

And I don’t know where else to share them without my criticisms and qualms being written off as blind hatred so here goes

Quantity over quality was definitely the motto with this one. She said at one of the eras shows that this album was when she needed writing more than ever. That doesn’t however, mean that everything she wrote needed to be on this album. Part of what makes an album good is an artists ability to edit their songs into a cohesive work.

Going off of that last point: I blame the vault tracks. Swift and her team saw how much people loved the vault tracks and went overboard with the concept of “give the people more.” The vault tracks worked so well because they felt like a bonus. When the whole album feels like “vault tracks” it loses some of the allure.

The concept is pretty weak overall. The aesthetic that was used to market the album only fits about half of the songs. I was hoping for literary references beyond just name dropping various poets and artists but so far Cassandra is the closest that I can recall that actually references poetry. I’m sure there’s some connections I’m missing so please enlighten me, (my academic background is in art history, not literature).

I feel like conceptually there are at least two albums here. The first is the actual ttpd concept of poetic sad songs, and then there’s a second set of songs that feel much more modern and feel like they belong on a different album (Florida!!!, down bad, imgonnagetyouback, etc.). I wish she would’ve taken the double album concept all the way and grouped the songs into more cohesive narratives.

Imgonnagetyouback is the exact same idea as get him back! by Olivia Rodrigo. I just feel like there’s some irony there because didn’t Taylor sue Olivia for something similar (I don’t know the ins and outs of that whole situation so forgive me if I’m missing some nuance)? Not that two people can’t write about the same thing but something about these two songs in particular seems too similar. They don’t sound the same but specifically the lines “key his car… make him lunch” in Rodrigo’s and “be your wife … smash up your bike” in Swift’s are the exact same “domestic tasks/destroy vehicle” dichotomy. Idk man something isn’t quite right about the whole thing to me.

A lot of the lyrics do not fit the melodies AT ALL. so many lines feel oddly paced, either stretched out where they shouldn’t be or too many words crammed in. The melody should fit the lyrics and it’s just not happening in this album as a whole. So many of the lyrics are just too wordy and awkward. Poetry doesn’t need to be long to be good.

Some of the lyrics are just so bad that they take me out of the song. I’m sure anyone that’s read this far can think of a few instances that made them pause. Hearing the words “finance guy” in a song was absolutely jarring.

Overall I just feel like it’s a poor representation of her abilities. She’s shown that she can write better. Her other albums were better sonically. There’s just nothing about this that is phenomenal. Very few memorable songs. No standout radio hits. It’s not the worst album ever made but it’s just so mediocre.

This album was made for a specific type of fan; someone who is up to date on her personal life and will listen to find Easter eggs, someone who will buy all of the vinyls just to complete their collection, someone who will love these songs just because they are Taylor Swift songs. I think every fan can find a few songs they like but I’d be shocked if anyone could genuinely say that they enjoy every song on this album, or that they think this album is one of Taylor’s better releases.