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luciddownloading · 2 days
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Tarot Reading (Pick A Card): Messages From Your Inner Child 🧸
Hello and welcome to or welcome back for another Tarot reading. I felt very inspired to do this one today, possibly because of my own recent inner child work. It's pretty self-explanatory. We will first see what traits your inner child has; how you were as a child and how you still carry that around. Then, we'll see what messages your inner child has for you. Being in touch with the child within can make you more in touch with your emotions and needs, which can, therefore, bring you clarity on emotional problems or external conflicts you may be avoiding or struggling with.
I don't know what kind of messages will come out but I have a feeling that some of what I will be channeling will be on the heavier side. The inner child can, of course, carry so much of any trauma or abuse a person may have experienced growing up. So, keep that in mind.
And I am taking reversals again, btw. I just felt called to. So, see which image or images you feel most drawn to and then see what you need to know about or hear from your inner child. As always, use your intuition to know what resonates and if it's your pile or not. This reading may not be for everyone because of the messages being channeled.
PILE 1
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PILE 2
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PILE 3
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PILE 4
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PILE 1
YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS
The Hermit (reversed)
Knight of Pentacles (reversed)
The Tower (reversed)
Ten of Cups (back of the deck)
Aw, Pile 1. I want to give the little version of you a hug. This is some really emotionally charged energy here. I feel like there are a lot of feelings about your childhood that you have yet to process. Maybe you're on the younger side still, like your early to mid 20's, and you haven't dealt with that yet. Or you could have just begun your healing journey or you're just about to. Either way, your inner child feels very, very close to your adult self, as if you are still that child that you were then. This could be in positive ways or in ways that held you back.
I definitely feel like you were very introverted or spent a lot of time alone. You might have been shamed a lot for that. Adults around you, in particular, could have thought your introversion was odd or tried to push you out of it. Not realizing that you can't really change that about a person! However, although there's nothing wrong with being an introvert, some of your behavior was a reaction to your environment. You often felt unsafe and judged and overwhelmed and you would totally retreat within your own little world in order to cope. You could play with your toys, read books or watch movies all day with little interaction with others.
You were constantly wishing you were somewhere else. You definitely could have hates your home life and even your hometown. You had a lot of fantasies about moving away or running away. You might have even tried to run away from home, when things got too crazy. But, I also feel like you were the rock in the family. You didn't need to be and shouldn't have been. You were just a kid. But, your home atmosphere was very turbulent and your family members could have been very unstable or thrived on drama. You might have felt like it was your role to be the sane one in the house or else everything would truly crumble. I can see you being a mini adult and being the one to listen or give advice or calm things down. If you had younger siblings, that's different. But, if you were doing this with older siblings or your parent(s), that could be a big source of trauma. Who was taking care of you?
You were either a huge overachiever or major underachiever in school, as a response to this parentified role. Either you felt like getting straight A's and being the model child was your key to survival and receiving love or you were so exhausted, neglected and even depressed at home that you couldn't be bothered with school. You might have even underperformed academically as your way of rebelling. People might not have understood the extent of your issues at home. One or both of your parents were all about appearances and making people think you had a perfect family.
I do think that you developed a deep-seated dream of the perfect family, as a child. You could have looked at your friends' families with envy or longing, wondering why couldn't have a family as nice or caring or stable as that. You might have even spent a lot of time at certain friends' homes, to the point where you became an honorary member of their family. It was a nice escape from your home. Again, I also think you became a major caregiver as a result of your upbringing. You were especially gentle with younger kids and very aware of how you treated them. You also couldn't wait to grow up and become a parent yourself. You could have personal placements in Scorpio or the Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) especially Virgo. Your Moon, in particular, may be in one of those signs. Your inner child is a real sweetheart and determined to give others the love that he/she/they didn't feel. That even extended to your relatives, even if they weren't always acting right. And this affected them very deeply. They may not have said so or treated you well but you were truly the warm, loving nucleus of your family. A light in the midst of the dark.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
The Empress
Three of Swords (reversed)
The Chariot
Judgement
The Fool (back of the deck)
Okay, this is interesting. So, what I said earlier about your healing journey just beginning could definitely apply to a lot of you. But, for a minority of you, this is describing the healing that you have already done and how far you have gotten. Either way, your inner child is coming through to say how absolutely proud they are of you! They are either proud because of all the progress you have made or the changes you are on track to make in order to heal.
You have or will become the kind of adult that your little self always needed. It is okay if you are crying right now because I am tearing up, too! Lol but you are fully capable of giving your inner child all the love and safety and support they were missing while growing up. You have spent so much of your life just giving, giving, giving that love away. That's what you learned to do. You learned to survive your daily life by giving love to people who couldn't receive it and/or couldn't give that love back. And that has carried over into your friendships and your love life. You are SUCH a loving person but you actually have a very hard time receiving love. This is why you are so drawn to unavailable people in love, for instance. It's what you know and because they can't truly be there for you, it keeps you feeling safe. That's a subconscious thing but attention is being drawn to this pattern (and many of you already know this).
You have had your heart broken very badly before in love because of this pattern. But, you know what? You refuse to give up on love or life. You refuse to shut your heart down. And if you're feeling tempted to harden or go cold, this is your warning to not give into that. That is not you! However, it is going to be important for you to incorporate a little bit more of your head. You lead with your heart and have a huge heart. Your heart chakra is one of your most powerful chakras. But, you will need to remember the power of discernment and boundaries. Don't just give your love to anyone! And align yourself with friends or love interests who can pour into you. It's not your duty or obligation to pour into them! Let yourself receive and attract good love.
I am getting that those of you who chose this pile have a very strong feminine energy (and, of course, you could identify with any gender). A message from your inner child is coming through about that. In some way, you weren't allowed to fully own your feminine energy as a child. Your family could have shamed or mocked you for it. You could have been pushed to be more masculine in a way that felt inauthentic to you. Something about a mother figure is also coming through. She could have been the main one shaming your femininity and possibly because of her struggles with her own. She could have been more on the controlling or suppressive side, not that nurturing or understanding.
However, you have the power to be a great mother figure to yourself. So much of your adult life will be about stepping into your Divine Feminine essence and healing the shaming you received for it as a child. And many of you will find other mother figures to connect to and feel truly nurtured by, whether it's surrogate mothers in the physical, feminine ancestors and spirit guides or even goddesses who have that motherly energy. Take what resonates.
All in all, your inner child either wants to prepare you for or congratulate you on creating a completely different life as an adult than the one given to you as a child. This could even mean cutting certain relatives off or your immediate family as a whole. Whatever feels right to you! You are in charge now. But, I can see you, throughout your healing, having huge and sudden realizations about your upbringing or your behavioral patterns as a result of your upbringing. These breakthroughs will lead to sweeping changes. But, also, don't push yourself too hard. A big part of your healing will depend on being gentle with yourself, especially since you didn't get that at home.
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PILE 2
YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS
King of Pentacles
The Emperor (reversed)
Ten of Cups
Eight of Pentacles (back of the deck)
Pile 2, it seems like you grew up in a home/family that was very patriarchal. I am picking up a father figure with a very strong presence or personality. It could have been a grandfather, too. Maybe you were raised by your grandparents. I am also seeing a beard. Either your father or grandfather could have been known for their beard. But, whatever paternal figure you looked up to, I think they were very solid, consistent and grounded in an impressive way. They shaped a lot of your values, especially your work ethic.
Interestingly, I feel like there is the influence of two father figures here. It could even be a dad and a stepdad. Or two dads! Whatever the case. But, I feel like you were much closer to one than the other. For a lot of you, I do think this is the case of a grandpa that you were very connected to and a dad who you had a lot of issues with. Possibly the reverse! Take it how it resonates. Regardless, one of these father figures made you feel very restricted and invalidated and even controlled. He was very strict and rigid in ways that deeply impacted you.
It's also interesting because not a lot is coming through about you. I don't think, as a child, you were given much space to have an identity of your own. Some of you come from very big families or there was just a lot going on at home. You might have felt unseen and neglected. I think the financial part of your home life was fine. It was a case of emotional neglect. And you had a very deep need for your father's approval and recognition. It was something you just couldn't get but you tried your hardest (and that may still be continuing into adulthood).
The one way you were able to get attention was by achieving things. So, you put a lot of effort and energy into being the best. You also might have had a very competitive relationship with your siblings, for this reason. You could have birth chart placements in Aries or the Earth signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn. Your Moon could be in one of those signs, especially Aries or Capricorn. In many ways, you were a very masculine child. You may have been sporty and athletic, tomboyish, or just very assertive and direct. I do feel like your inner child has anger issues. Even though you could be sensible and level-headed, that inability to feel heard or validated could really, really frustrate you. But, that would just get you into trouble, especially with the aforementioned father figure. Maybe, at times, you would act out because that was a surefire way to get noticed by him.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
The Moon (reversed)
Page of Wands
Queen of Cups (reversed)
Five of Swords
Three of Cups (back of the deck)
Okay, I feel like the message here from your inner child is actually about your family. You have spent your life remaining oblivious to many of the dynamics in your family. If you do recognize some toxic patterns, you will just brush it off as not that big of a deal. But, you are underestimating the importance of these issues. They will catch up to you sooner or later. I am honestly feeling like your inner child is having a kind of That's So Raven vision of something bad happening soon. Except that's a sitcom and this won't be so funny. (You might actually have clairvoyance, too, and not realize it yet) But, you KNOW trouble is brewing. The tension keeps building on something and that'll keep happening until it boils over.
That sounds ominous, I know lol. This is not to scare you. If anything, it's to wake you up because you know what's going on and what's not right. You're just ignoring it. I hate to say it but certain family members might be hating behind your back or hoping you fail. That might not even be entirely conscious. But, when people are really struggling with their own insecurities, they take it out on people who are doing well. Are you embarking on some sort of project or new venture? If so, there are relatives who may be doubting you, criticizing you, even working against you.
There could be a betrayal from someone in your family that you don't see coming, even though anyone else could from a mile off. You just blind yourself, at times, and give them the benefit of the doubt too much. They want to keep you small. You are good at outdoing a lot of your competition, whether you realize it or not. But, you aren't given enough credit. It's that toxic thing that some people do of choosing to not praise you, even though you absolutely ATE without a crumb left on the plate, because praising you, in their mind, would make them smaller. But, that means that they were already small to begin with!
I am getting that this reversed Queen of Cups could be a draining mother figure in your family. If your father was emotionally unavailable, then she was emotionally exhausting. And an emotional vampire can feel very threatened by your success because that means they can't feed on your energy anymore. This could also be a sister, aunt, grandma or even a male relative with a lot of feminine energy. But, they can make you feel very manipulated. And, in the end, they could still love you. This could be so unconscious they don't even know they're doing it.
The little version of you is coming through to tell you to not be deceived by this kind of behavior. This relative may even try to talk you out of your dreams and goals or instill fear. For some of you, I feel like you are pursuing something very creative; a talent you have had since childhood but may not have fully maximized yet. For others, you are already doing it and it's about to take off. Whatever your abilities (and they don't necessarily have to be artistic), I think it's something this Queen of Cups may envy, especially if it's something they always wanted to do.
In terms of your hard father figure, there is a message here to stop trying to impress him. At what point do you decide that you're an adult who doesn't need their parent's approval to thrive? Your inner child is quite exhausted with jumping through those hoops. Just live your life! Liberate yourself. And that liberation may involve taking a break from your family or getting some distance, even if it's for a little while. Maybe longer! It will depend on the type of shit that goes down. I have the feeling that you grew up in a very "close-knit" family. But, close-knit in the sense of codependency and doing things together more so out of habit. If you are still living at home or in your hometown for whatever reason, now would be the time to go elsewhere. As I said, there's not a lot in this reading about your separate identity. I think you need to spend some more time totally on your own to figure out who you are as an individual.
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PILE 3
Two of Pentacles
Five of Swords (reversed)
Eight of Wands (reversed)
King of Swords (reversed) (back of the deck)
Pile 3, I get the feeling that, wphile growing up, you might have taken on quite a bit just to make your family happy. Your inner child can be quite a people pleaser. I think you have always hated arguments and drama and conflict. So, you would do and say whatever was necessary to diffuse things or ease the tension. You might have personal placements, particularly the Moon, in Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius. You were a more laid-back child, agreeable and easy to get along with. But, you also struggled with intense inner conflict because you were so busy trying to alleviate any external conflicts and this had a way of eventually spilling out.
Your inner child is very fearful and anxious. I definitely get the vibe of "walking on eggshells". Again, you never wanted to do or say anything wrong. I think the consequences when you messed up could have been especially harsh or even cruel. So, this made you feel very self-conscious and insecure. Many of you could have had a father figure who was pretty much verbally abusive. His words could be extremely harsh and destructive and he might have given you his worst. The ways in which he tore you down may have stuck with you for life and you still haven't healed from it, in some way, is what I am getting.
Your inner child definitely needs a big hug! I don't feel like you got the emotional nourishment that you needed while growing up. That was kind of a foreign concept in your house. You were tended to on practical and intellectual levels. As a result, your inner child can be incredibly needy in ways you don't truly understand. Because of that insistence on the practical, you still focus heavily on the practical now, at the neglect of everything else. I am getting the message that if you are putting too much energy into work, it's because you have some sort of emotional problem you're not dealing with. I think you are simultaneously very close to your inner child but very detached from them. You have many emotional wounds that you feel like you can just ignore or suppress. But, it will come out, in some way or another.
I think that exploring and confronting your inner child can be very scary for you. You would rather not deal with those issues. But, you have to deal with them or else they will deal with you! You're also a little too comfortable in the old patterns of childhood. Not much has changed in terms of the dysfunctional way you deal with things. You get terribly afraid of disappointing people and causing conflict, which inevitably creates conflict. And you can be so, SO hard on yourself. You have a very mean inner dialogue that is just an echo of all the mean things your father figure planted in your head. It's really intense. Your inner child is just crying out for help and comfort because it's like they keep getting beat up again and again.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
King of Swords (reversed)
Seven of Cups (reversed)
Death (reversed)
The Magician (reversed)
Two of Wands (reversed)
Wow, well, this is really heavy. I don't know if you approached this reading expecting to hear what I am about to tell you . But, on some level, you know you need to hear it. First off, what is so striking is that the King of Swords in reverse immediately popped out again. You know that meme of Jasmine Masters, the drag queen, where she's like, "Well, just as I thought. Trash!" That's what just came to mind because I feel that way about this father figure represented by the reverse King of Swords. They are so mean and nasty and so miserable. Always has been and might always will be. Yes, I am dragging them lol. Maybe I should be impartial but fuck it. I feel like you need that because them showing up again here confirms how much they have wrecked your self-image and self-esteem since childhood. They made you believe that YOU are trash but you weren't the problem. They are still so deep in your head and under your skin and that's the first thing you need to heal.
You have spent your whole life afraid of turning into them, too, and you don't see how wonderful you actually are. We do NOT have to be our parents. We are not automatic clones of our parents. So many people just become a lot like their parents out of conditioning and an inability to shape their personalities in a different mold or break the cycle. Maybe you too have tendencies toward being harsh or cold but some of this is just a defense mechanism. You're not perfect but that doesn't make you the worst person alive. And that doesn't make you your father. Again, I really don't think you see how kind and lovely your heart really is because no one consistently made your little self feel good and lovable.
Another message I am getting is that I feel like you get sucked into super-dysfunctional situations that mirror your childhood issues. You might easily fall into either very toxic or very unfulfilling relationships. You felt trapped and mistreated as a child and you now fall into situations where you feel trapped and mistreated. Certain partners may even have made you feel like it's not possible to leave or survive without them. If you're in such a relationship now, PLEASE seek help and know that it is possible to get out. You also don't have to hide what you're going through out of shame.
Yeah, the relationship thing is a major message here. You can settle for terrible partners because you don't feel you deserve something better. You may feel like you have no other option. You can also just settle for being alone and pushing good things away because the prospect of losing something good is too scary for you. I feel like these are actually not messages from your inner child but real guidance from Spirit and your Guides. They want you to heed this advice so you can actually begin the process of healing and nurturing your inner child.
It feels like you have been extremely resistant to change, in the past, and developed a sort of learned helplessness. I think it's the vulnerability of your hurt inner child that wants someone else to gallop in and save you. But, no, you can save yourself. You can be your own hero. You can prove to yourself, your family, and anyone else that you are so, so much more than your trauma or all the horrible and inaccurate things you were told about yourself. But, you have choose that path of healing. You have to make the conscious effort. The reward of it all will be reconnecting with your child self and recognizing that they were and are so much more lovable and special than they were told they were.
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PILE 4
YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS
The Hierophant
Ace of Wands
Three of Swords (reversed)
King of Cups (back of the deck)
Pile 4, I definitely feel like your inner child is an old soul. You had a maturity and wisdom to you beyond your years as a kid. So much of that just had to do with the strength and frequency of your soul. You lived many, many lifetimes before you incarnated. You're a highly spiritual being and I really get the feeling that many of you were incarnated in order to heal some sort of generational trauma in your family. You have a very strong bond with at least one or two of your ancestors, who either passed on before you arrived or when you were very little, to the point where you may barely remember them. But, they serve as a Guide to you and they're actually hijacking the reading a bit just to tell you how proud they are of you and how much they love you.
You were a very compassionate, very loving child. I actually wouldn't be surprised if you were also drawn to Pile 1 because this feels like an extension of that pile. You are a born empath and healer, a light-worker, but you, of course, didn't know that as a child. You just knew you felt everything deeply and cried when others were in pain, that you could feel the pain of the adults around you without them even telling you. And you didn't understand why you didn't quite feel like a child. There was a heaviness and seriousness to you, an intense emotional depth. Yes, you could still be silly and playful. But, you were like some ancient 2000 year old creature stuck in a child's body.
Yet, you were also very enthusiastic, passionate and spirited. You might have had a big personality that felt often stifled by the adults around you. I am sensing that many of you grew up in a very traditional or very conservative family that you just could not fit into. You could have been made to feel bad about your free spirit, your fiery side or colorful nature. For some of you, being so sensitive, this stifled you and made you turn inward. You could have experienced a personality shift where you became shy, quiet or reserved. However, you found your escape in creativity. You displayed a lot of creative talent, at an early age, and this became an outlet for all your self-expression and strong emotions.
Many of you could have had a very religious upbringing, too. While it may have been very restrictive, I feel like a lot of you enjoyed going to church and what not because of your high spiritual vibration. It wasn't about the religion itself but the communion with God/Spirit/Source. That created a very solid foundation of faith that you have carried with you throughout life, even if you left the church and moved away from religion, which a lot of you did. But, you remained connected to Source and developed a very powerful spiritual life as an adult.
Yeah, I do have a hard time exactly feeling like your inner child is a child. Of course, there can be trauma associated with that feeling. Maybe you did have to grow up too fast. But, people online nowadays think so much in terms of therapy language that some of them fail to realize that being an "old soul" or "miniature adult" is not entirely the result of trauma. That's also just who you naturally were as a kid. You could have birth chart placements - the Moon sign, in particular - in the sign of Taurus or the Water signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. Your inner child is very perceptive and insightful. You saw the wounds in your family members, especially adults, and somehow "knew better", on an emotional level, than them.
Many of you had turbulent upbringings and suffered a lot of hurt yourself. A result of cycles being repeated. But, you never let it break you. I also think you were highly protected on a spiritual level. Very powerful Spirit Guides of yours acted as parental figures on the other side. They're the ones who raised you, emotionally and spiritually. There is a caring father figure in Spirit form who was especially present. It could have been your actual father who passed, a late grandfather or uncle, or even just a Spirit Guide who plays the role of father in your life. But, this is a masculine being who has always provided you with both strength and comfort, who has been there every time you shed tears. They love you so, so much and are so proud of how far you've come. Such a beautiful message! Again, that's a bit of a side note but they are very integral in the character, integrity, and depth you've developed since childhood because your 3d family could not give that to you.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
Queen of Swords (represented)
Ten of Pentacles
Four of Cups (reversed)
The Empress (reversed)
Two of Wands (back of the deck)
This is so interesting because every single pile has had major messages about a parental figure. But, this is about your inner child so that makes total sense. Your inner child is drawing attention to your mother figure here. She may not have been easy to deal with as a kid or even now as an adult. She could have controlling, abusive or narcissistic traits. And I don't easily throw the "narcissist" word around but that's what I am feeling called to say. You know if that resonates.
But, you are being asked to look at your mother's lineage and side of the family as a whole, which I feel is probably very female dominated. I think they were the source of a lot of your childhood trauma. Examine the family history and ask yourself how patterns have repeated or been passed down. Ask yourself how your mom was treated by her mom. Are there parallels? Can you see how that shaped her? And I think you're already good at processing those things but your inner child kind of wants you to not just see your mom as your mom. Really think about when she was just a child and how she probably felt the same way about her mom as you felt toward her. Whether or not you forgive is your choice. But, having more perspective on her could be healing.
Your inner child also wants you to examine your relationship with women, as a whole. Depending on your gender or sexual orientation, this could differ. But, I feel like you have recently been betrayed or heartbroken by a woman who you were very close to, either a good friend or a romantic partner. She could have displayed the same narcissistic or malignant traits as your mom or other women in your family. And that could be a haunting realization - that you are somehow attracted to that dynamic - but this recognition also leads to healing. If you're a woman, you also may have a horrible fear of becoming these women. But, no need to fear. You are the cycle breaker, honey! It ran through your family until it ran into you!
Regardless of your gender, I think you were meant to be a beautiful example of the Divine Feminine. But, you need to be aware of what kind of feminine energies you're drawing into your life. Whether male or female, you could really attract close connections with women who want to control you or make you feel small, who are jealous of your beauty or abundance or confidence. This is an echo of things with your mom and shows you where you need to heal that inner child wound. You are not doomed to be near feminine narcissists but these relationships need to serve as a lesson. So, you can avoid them in the further and attract truly supportive, genuine feminines into your life. You deserve to be your fullest self and not shrink for someone who supposedly loves you.
There is so much that you could have become, in a negative way, but you didn't! Your mother or that toxic feminine serve as a sort of inverse mirror image of you. Your Guides are congratulating you for not becoming that and moving down the right path. Also, a big part of your destiny will be having a family. I think the majority of you will want kids but, for a few of you, this could also mean fur-babies. I also feel compelled to say you're quite close to establishing that family of your own.
I am not saying you'll get married in a few months! But, I think a lot of you either will meet/reunite with the person you'll marry very soon (this year is what I am getting) or you are already with them. And this will lead to a family. Again, don't worry. You have already done all the healing work you have needed to do, including possibly cutting toxic relatives out. If this is your mom and you are struggling with that decision or missing her, it's okay to feel that way. But, you did the right thing! Think of how unhappy your life would be if you didn't make the decision to heal or distance yourself. You are setting yourself, your future spouse and future children up for the kind of fulfillment you didn't have.
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Thanks for stopping by! You can check out my other readings and posts here:
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snekdood · 4 months
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people dont know what liminal means anymore. im gonna stab someone. an empty parking lot is not liminal THERES SO MUCH SPACE EVERYWHERE AND NO WALLS TF YOU MEAN
#nvm im wrong#but still the post i saw didnt seem liminal at all#i dont count outdoor spaces as liminal unless everything is perfectly pristine and trimmed#maybe im thinking of hell actually#grass trimmed under an inch#perfectly clean roads w no cracks or bumps#ROUND FUCKING TREES#SQUARE FUCKING BUSHES#nevermind the lack of biodiversity#bricks that look like they havent aged and have no chips or EVEN bird poop or ANYTHING.#nothing worn or weathered by time#yeah thats hell#mayeb i could consider that liminal. but like. just a regular outdoor place? naw...#and the above description i gave is physically impossible (and should remain that way death and decay is natural fuck immortality)#so thats kinda why i dont agree w wikipedias desc of liminal w the image of a playground w/o kids bc the grass isnt Perfect#so therefore it looks more natural#the episode of spongebob where everything is chrome in the future? liminal#empty playground but the grass is still different colors? das just a haunting image reminding the viewer of the state of our world#n capitalism n stuff#u know what im sayin dhfsafdggfsd.#there should be kids yes. but thats not the 'liminal' aesthetic (which i hate btw idk if i made that clear)#thats making you think about how there SHOULD be kids but instead they're inside all day on tiktok or being radicalized by the alt right#sometimes both#and that ppl are scared to bring their kids outside bc of so much propaganda out there about being in public spaces in general
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strohller27 · 10 months
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#hoo boy lads I’m going out of my mind I have so much to do and no time to do it#‘you could have planned this out better’ Bitch I am the first person in my immediate family#who has even thought seriously about moving to a different country#and I HAVE ALREADY lived in another country before but it was within the confines of an exchange programme#nobody knows what I’m doing this time around and therefore nobody can help me plan#I’ve been feeling burnt out since Fall of 20-goddamn-22#and last semester I learned that my master’s degree programme cannot accommodate the thesis I want to write#life took my plans and ripped them up into millions of little pieces#and yeah you can say ‘tough shit. that’s life’ but I’m SO TIRED of this happening#because my whole life has been like that#‘you can make your own decisions when you have your own house/apartment/life’#OKAY you’ve been telling me that my whole life BUT WHEN IS IT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?#I am TRYING to take my life by the horns and make things happen but#I can’t help noticing how precarious my position is#I have to drive across country hoping my only form of transportation doesn’t somehow fail me#I have to set up a new life in a new country where I don’t know anyone and I have never lived before#it’s like trying to build a house off the side of a cliff. one wrong move? one really bad day? and I’m toast.#and yeah I signed up for this but it’s because I’M SO TIRED OF WAITING for things to fall into a place that would make this change easier#nothing’s getting easier! everything just keeps getting harder! and no matter how many times I keep beating my head against the wall#hoping I can make things fall into place…nothing seems to change for the better. and I’m sick of it!#they say good things come to those who wait but I’ve been waiting for twenty!! goddamn!! years!! and things are still the same#like standing water it just sits there and festers#I want to stop merely surviving and start LIVING for once#I want to *do* something but I need support and I feel bad asking for it#why is it so hard to make myself believe I’m allowed to take up space? why is it so hard to ask for help??#maybe because I’m worried that I’m not allowed to take up space..and I know that when I ask for help#it’s often met with non-committal sayings and shrugs and ‘well okay. you tell me what you need to do and we’ll figure it out.’#maybe I don’t know what I need to do! maybe I need help figuring that out! it doesn’t help when all I hear is ‘yep. adulting is hard’#LIKE I DIDN’T FUCKEN KNOW THAT. maybe instead of stating the obvious we could FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MOVE FORWARD?!#I’m going absolutely out of my fucken mind
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s0fter-sin · 2 years
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one thing i kinda hate is how everything always comes back to all might. like, i know that’s the entire point but if you’re not really gonna go in and explore the unique ramifications of every hero being inspired by him and every villain being wronged by him then it’s just repetitive and gets boring
#bnha manga spoilers#i was interested in star and stripe her quirk was sick and shes a huge buff woman which is automatically awesome#and then it turns out her entire motivation is just that she was rescued by all might as a kid#stain is such an intimidating force and his ideology makes sense but its ruined when he idolises the very thing he hates#completely unironically and his view is never challenged#he never realises that all might is just as fake as other heroes just as media hungry no matter how many people he saves#he should be the pinicle of what he hates but bc its all might he never is#i think its why i like dabi and hawks so much#their motivation is entirely based on endeavour (who is also based around all might)#same with kirishima being inspired by crimson riot its refreshing for someone to have a different hero for once#but its like theres no point in being intrigued by a new character bc everything will always boil down to all might#midoriya is never given any character growth and is still just an all might clone#bakugo is a parallel of endeavour who himself is a foil to all might and hes always wanted to be all might#the entire nighteye arc was nighteye comparing midoriya to all might#shigaraki is only there bc he was related to nana and therefore personal to all might#him going after dabi as a replacement could easily be spun into ‘the son of the rival you never took seriously is now evil haha’#the only real thing that had nothing to do with him was the plf#and thats just not enough#if youre going to make everything revolve around one character you cant make it as one note as it is#everything is either directly or indirectly bc of all might#no one ever even really blames him#to some degree everyone knows ots all mights fault due to his affects on society#but no one ever actually says it#and the only consequences are the characters that end up all being the same#we can infer and do all the meta we want but that doesnt mean the depth is really there#i want this to be more than all mights world#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#go beyond plus ultra#bnha#all might
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fealiniel · 1 year
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Agh sometimes being an adult is realizing that things that have pissed you off on a day when you're mad at the whole entire world are actually manageable every other day and not something you need to make everyone's problem.
#overreacting right now 100%#am i a door matt? no but im the 2 inch high door farme thats really damn easy for tall people to step on just the same#by which i mean im easy to push arround especially by people with big forcefull personalities like my room mate#and sometimes i know for a stated fact that she forgets i have my own glitches and environmental stressors#forgets that being room mates is compromise and not loudest one feels the strongest and therefor decides#anyway she came home obviously having one if those days and after i flee the sceen to keep my sanity#i get a text saying we need a room mate meeting tomorrow (not tonight)because shes#but shes pissed about some housekeeping things we need to talk about.#fam youre mad at the wolrd and youre stressed because your mom is foisting furniture and a cat on us in a week#i literally spent 5 minutes looking arround the house trying to figure out wtf sent her off??#my shit is so fucking tidy rn#her trash and recycling from moving moms stuff is the biggest mess item by a huge margin#the only things i have going on are laundry in the dryer and on my char but her laundry is on the couch and theres no more to wash#and because the sink was empty but her dishes were postitvely coating the counters to unusability i put all the non fragil items into#the sink so i could make dinner#and its not simply that i touched her dishes because she loads and i unload the dishwasher every time as a happy agreed situation#literally do not know what it could possibly be#so it comes down to being mad at the door handle for catching your coat when youre rushing#and then deciding the door handle needs to come off#nothing is different youre just mad about it today because your mad at everything#your personal hissy fits are not everyone elses problem and just because someone doesnt make big deals out of stuff doesnt mean#they dont have strong feelings or arent hella stressed trying to make you comfortable so you put up with living here#i need the jelp with rent and finding someone who puts up with me is hard before you factor in that i cant sweep floors or other chores
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So apparently KOSA (2024 edition) is getting either thrown out until next year or put into effect in six days. That was a guesstimate based on a different person saying that's when Congress is back in session and may be false.
Update that's going in the main post at the top: it has enough support to pass Congress.
It failed the last two times because people were voting against it.
This time, KOSA has traction among the pro-LGBTQ parties. Because nobody is fucking calling their bullshit and screaming from the rooftops that calling it the "Kids Online Safety Act" is misleading.
What will it passing do?
Nothing much, only prevent any education on LGBTQIA+ (it's that stupid fucking argument about us grooming kids again), shut down nearly every fandom space on the internet, and make it required for most big tech companies to have your ID.
Want to have resources for kids to discover their identity readily available? Yes? Then fucking speak up against this stupid fucking bill.
Fandom spaces like Tumblr, Twitter (? I thought the MAGA assholes liked Musk?), Tiktok, Archive Of Our Own, and any other website that hosts fanfic or fanart? Either shut down permanently, forced to uproot to a different country and down for a while (best case scenario, and they likely won't be able to send any data, and therefore fanfics, to the US), or gutted so that you only get to put G rated cishet ships on there, if any shipping at all. How to avoid that? I've already said it: Call your fucking representatives.
Want to avoid the fucking dystopic task of being legally obligated to give big tech your government issue ID? Again, cause an uproar. Call your goddamned representatives.
If they can pass this, the ripple effects could be catastrophic.
So, for fuck's sake, any Americans that can impact this stupid fucking bill and see this? Do everything in your power to shut it down because you have until February twenty sixth (26th) to send this bill back to where it belongs.
And if you can't do that? Reblog, copy my tags, and boost the signal.
Sorry not sorry for ranting, making you scroll through that, and swearing a probably excessive amount, but KOSA is a bill with a GLOBAL IMPACT being passed by ONE COUNTRY because some old people are scared of two guys with who were told they were girls kissing within five hundred miles of a child. Fuck this shit, I shouldn't have to worry about bad bills in America but I fucking do because I use the internet and would like to avoid mass censorship. Fuck this, fuck conservatives, and fuck the fact that some boomers make your country's policies.
Now, if you won't mind me, I'm going to be up until three in the morning downloading fanfiction or copying and pasting them into a a text file if I can't so I can read them by the end of the week.
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gay-dorito-dust · 6 months
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So I was wondering if I could maybe get some hcs of Kuai Liang with a fem s/o who is always cold and who always seeks out his warmth even before they were dating? For example he would just be talking to someone and here comes his fem s/o seeking his warmth out and hugging him to get warm.
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You loved how unbelievably hot Kuai Liang was but you guessed it came with the territory.
Kuai Liang was always going to be warmer than the average person, therefore rendering the possibility of ever getting sick redundant for someone who could just raise his body temperature to rid himself of the illness.
The first time you found out just how warm Kuai Liang was when you were trying to warm yourself up , but everything you tried didn’t seem to work outside of a measly couple of seconds of fleeting warmth and you were staring to become frustrated just as Kuai Liang came into view to witness your failed attempts.
‘Are you alright? You seem frustrated.’ He asked, concerned.
‘No. I���m trying to warm up my hands but nothing I do seems to want to work.’ You explained, just about to shove your hands deep into your pockets in defeat, when Kuai Liang held out his arms as a compassionate smile spread across his beautiful face. He then gestured with with hands for you to come closer, but your confusion was written as clear as day on your face.
‘Get over here.’ He said.
‘Why?’ You replied.
‘You said you wanted to get warmed up didn’t you?’ He inquired, moving his head slightly to the side.
‘Yeah.’ You said cautiously as you started to worm closer to him. Inch by inch. Already feeling his warmth radiating off of him and you were nowhere within his proximity yet. ‘So get over here so I can warm you up.’ He reiterated and once you were within range, Kuai Liang brought you into an instantly warming hug that had you melting against him. You instinctively clung onto him anyway you could, grasping at his clothes, burying your head into his neck as your eyes slowly closed for his warmth has lulled you into a dangerous state of relaxation; that you almost fell asleep against him right then and there.
Kuai Liang didn’t mind this, he personally found it adorable when you use him like a personal heater. He enjoyed the feeling of you practically clinging off of him like a koala and so for a good while afterwards, you had begun an unspoken tradition of searching for him when you felt like leeching off of of his insane bodily warmth; uncaring as to whoever catches you in the act. It didn’t concern anyone outside of yourself and Kuai Liang.
Today was no different from any other as once again you were searching high and low for Kuai Liang, only to find him in the middle of a conversation with Tomas but you were far too concerned with warming yourself up, seeing as the Lin Kuei wasn’t particularly a warm place to reside within. So when a particularly cold breeze brushed past your skin- reminding you as to why it was that you were there in the first place- you were quick to make your way towards the pair until you finally ended up by Kuai Liang’s side.
The man noticed you, chuckled and without another word, opened up his arms for you like he had a thousand times before to then cuddle yourself into his side, casually burying your head into his tits chest and your hands grasp at his waist and sighing in content, just as those arms came to tuck you even further against him to provide you with additional warmth. Tomas looked between to the two of you with a look that could only be compared to a confused puppy but Kuai Liang was quick to explain the situation.
‘They’re naturally cold and so they often come to me to warm them up.’ He told Tomas, whilst rubbing his large calloused hands up and down your back, practically coddling you against him.
Tomas only smiled, internally cooing over how adorable the sight before him was and continued with his and Kuai Liang’s previous conversation as though you weren’t currently falling asleep, cuddling yourself closer into Kuai Liang and vocalising your distain whenever you felt him shift his weight or loosen his grip on you momentarily; Something that Kuai Liang found particularly cute as he would smirk and hold you tighter as to reassure you that he wasn’t going anywhere soon whilst teasing you for being like a ‘clingy little kitten.’
Tomas felt like as though he was intruding on something he shouldn’t have and assumed that he probably needed to leave to give you both a bit of privacy but just didn’t know how to swiftly exit his conversation with Kuai Liang and so was stuck in this situation. However the thing that made up for that was seeing just how happy his brother was when with you and he couldn’t help but find himself smiling behind his mask.
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nataliedecorsair · 11 months
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In contrast to the gloomy and mysterious world of Heather, Pticenoga and Vaughn’s AU is pretty cheerful and full of nonsense. This is the world of Borderlands, and therefore it is reckless, sometimes dark, but nevertheless very alive. The tone of the art with them, respectively, differs from the tone of the art with Heather. And, since this is an AU (means alternative universe), some moments from the canonical Borderlands were changed. For example, the third Borderlands game and everything related to it doesn’t exist here. Also I should remind you that Pticenoga is my OC way from 2011 and she had nothing to do with the game originally, and I created the Borderlands AU for her several years later.
In this universe, Pticenoga (or Hedwig, that's her name; Pticenoga is more like a nickname) is a "messed up" siren who, even before her birth, was influenced by natural Eridium, and as a result her "siren power" went out of control. Normal sirens sometimes have "magical wings" - Hedwig was born straight up looking like a bird, with all the accompanying pros and cons. Shade, her adoptive father, found it pretty amusing and liked it a lot, but most of the other people weren’t that impressed. And, given the fact that the closest bird to her would be a vulture, her behavior did not contribute to her popularity in society. But time passed, she grew up - and Hedwig learned to more or less control her siren powers and she could transform into an ordinary woman. But in this form she loses all the advantages of Pticenoga: she cannot fly, loses her strength and endurance, loses resistance to fire damage, and so on. But she can merge with the crowd now, if it’s necessary. All in all, Hedwig is a woman with a bit of bells and whistles... After all, this is the world of Borderlands. For example,  she can smear herself with rotten corpses to use the stench as a weapon. Or  in the heat of a battle, she can bite off an enemy's finger, devour it, and ask for more. But in a sense, this craziness is partially the reason why her relationship with Vaughn was developed.
A portion of passion, a portion of humor and a pinch of trash with raw meat - it’s pretty much the recipe for the pairing between Pticenoga and Vaughn. He is a former corporate accountant learning to survive on the wild planet of Pandora; she is a bit of a deranged, "wild" siren, ready to protect her loved ones and punch enemies in the face (not always successful, but nonetheless). After arriving on Pandora, Vaughn discovered his love for crazy stuff  and was happy to occasionally let loose his suppressed aggressive side - and Pticenoga is happy to help him with this. But sometimes she is also happy to "calm down" and feel normal, and Vaughn doesn't mind showing her that side of life. Of course, their shenanigans do not always end well, and the "loser" side of Vaughn didn't go anywhere, just like Hedwig's instability. But they are ready to support each other, no matter what. Even if this support sometimes takes strange forms (for example, Vaughn can gather corpses for her if necessary...). Or, as a bonus, Pticenoga can sometimes troll Vaughn a little. But he does not mind; he answers her the same way… when he can. --- Also, I was messing around with GBA sims thing and you can see the result in the end xD --- Almost all interactions are based on me & my husband’s shenanigans The engagement ring was also Borderlands themed
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red-riding-wood · 20 days
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PSA - Community Predator
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Over a series of months, myself and other Tumblr users -- fic writers, gif makers, fans of created content -- have been victimised by @mrkdvidal1989, who has extensively lied about who he is, preyed on multiple women and denied involvement -- therefore ruining friendships, reputations and feelings, and promised me life-saving medical treatment that he never followed through on.
More information including mine and their stories under the cut.
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The reason I am going public with this is twofold:
A) To protect others from being hurt. He is known to reach out to many tumblr users, especially young women in the Cillian Murphy fandom -- but he may have a wider reach beyond this circle. B) Since his "disappearance" three weeks ago and the unravelling of his lies, this man has ruined my life and the only hope I had of obtaining treatment for a condition that has been plaguing me for four years.
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Killian Vidal is the name he has chosen to give us, and has claimed to be both a officer commander and general in the mobility troop in the SAS (the general rank does not even exist), has beaten cancer a while ago (but said to another mutual that his "time was running out" and he is currently struggling with it), and a plethora of other life experiences and general knowledge about him that varies in consistency when talking to different people and is questionable in its validity. He has also shared pictures of "himself" that when reverse image searched, belong to different people.
I got to know Kill when he reblogged one of my fanfics (as the story seems to start with a lot of his victims) and he reached out via DMs. We quickly became close friends who called nearly every day on Discord and when I told him about my health issues, he immediately offered to pay for my medical treatment wherever I could find willing doctors.
I was hesitant to believe this at first since all of this seemed too good to be true (and was). He claimed to be very wealthy, enough to afford private jets like it was nothing and to rent me an apartment in the UK in the same building as him. Over time, I grew to trust him because he felt like such a genuine person and friend, which was made all the more believable by the fact that he has such a huge following on Tumblr and was, at the time, part of a vast social network of fans and friends (one of which he even claimed to know IRL -- who will remain anonymous unless they decide to speak out). I decided to ignore the little red flags because I was so desperate to receive this treatment that for me would be life-saving.
For four years, I have been plagued by an array of (mostly) undiagnosed digestive issues that have made my life almost unbearable and have on numerous occasions nearly killed me due to malnutrition. I've spent months in hospital, endured years of malpractice and misdiagnoses, undergone heart surgery, and have tried absolutely everything I can to get better. In the winter of 2023, I was told by my doctor that I was refused in the TPN program (a treatment that may have slowed or stopped my weight loss) and that with or without it, I was looking at mortality. Refusing to stop fighting but having exhausted the public health care system in Canada, I went into 2024 not really having much hope of anything anymore.
So, when Kill came along, that changed. He promised -- and I mean, from the bottom of his heart, promised -- that he would help me get treatment, that he would get me out of my abusive home and fly me to the UK, that he would be there for me as my friend, etc. I was beyond grateful, and as my trust with him built, so did my hope.
The travel plans kept getting put off; originally, he would fly me out as soon as the apartment became available, which was the 11th of Feb, 2024. He kept finding excuses to not book the jet. Finally, it seemed as if around the 15th/16th I would be flying. My health had been declining rapidly and the situation was becoming all the more urgent, and he said he was in contact with a pilot and would send the ticket soon and call me.
That was the last I heard from him. The 16th.
Initially thinking he had ended his life (he had discussed thoughts of suicide with me prior to this), I was beside myself with worry not only thinking one of my closest friends was gone but also that my chance at life was. I reached out to his other friends, and I made several calls to the UK authorities and emergency services and ended up requesting a welfare check be made to see if he was even alive.
They reported that no one under the name Killian Vidal was in the records of the building name he gave me -- the same building that I was meant to live in within that week.
After reaching out to my now beloved friend @kittenonpluto (A.K.A., Cas) on Tumblr, I learned that Kill was in fact alive, and had told her that he was in hospital for digestive issues in Indianopolis, United States (though again, no record of his name in their medical system). He still wouldn't talk to me, but told her to tell me that he would reach out when he was out of hospital.
Cas and I compared information he'd told us (her story will be attached to this post) and looked into the mystery more. He constantly dodged confrontation and questions about the fake photos and information he'd sent her, and seemed to use his completely fabricated hospitalisation as an excuse to not fulfil his promises to myself and her, as well as a means to garner sympathy.
It was quite obvious that he didn't know how the American medical system worked, and he even incorporated elements of my actual story and used them in his. When asked about his treatments, he responded with medically false information. He reported digestive issues, reflux, and having both an NG tube and TPN -- both of which I have experience with -- and let me say, I am beyond disgusted and infuriated that my real life trauma was used as a ploy in all this.
How do we know for a fact this is false? I checked the police case for his welfare check again, and they said that they confirmed him being in the UK at the same time he had told Cas he was in hospital in the States.
After a final confrontation from both Cas and myself (and a desperate final plea for the medical aid he promised me), he was never heard from again from either of us or our friend circles.
I'm now having to pick up the pieces he's left me in and to be honest, I have little to no idea of what the hell to do or how to save myself. The fact that he strung me along for a month and built up my hope that I was going to live only to abandon me without even a word is deplorable to me.
And mine isn't the only story. I've heard from four women on Tumblr (who, again, will remain anonymous unless they choose to speak out) who he has been romantic or sexually involved with (and lied about his involvement, made them out to seem insane or toxic, created rifts in our friendships, toyed with their emotions, and made false promises to of relationships, marriage, and finances).
And that's not including the ex-wife who came back to Tumblr to claim that her and Kill had never met nor married. She was promptly silenced by a "lawyer threat" that we have strong reason to believe was a bluff.
At the end of the day, there are so many lies, half-truths, inconsistencies, etc. this man has wrapped himself in and we don't know for the life of us what his motives are, but from the information that we do know is false, he isn't genuine. He toys with people. He hurts them. Myself and the others that have been affected by this want that to stop.
And at any point, he has the ability to make a new account, and take on a new persona, pretend to be someone else. Tumblr is a wonderful place and I have met so many cool people on here, but please be careful about who you interact with and what you share, because aside from making this post, it is beyond my power to stop him from doing what he does. But after what he did to me, I could not remain silent.
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Other Stories
If you have an experience or story with Killian that you would like heard, please reblog it on this thread or make a post. With your consent, I can include a link to it below.
kittenonpluto's story
aurorag98's story
everyoneisawhore's story
your-nanas-house's story
hllywdwhre's story
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Final Note
Lastly, if you have read this far, thank you.
If you want to reach out to me about this issue -- whether it's to anonymously share your experience, ask questions, ask for evidence (of which I can back up these statements with), or anything at all --, please do not hesitate to do so. <3
For those who may be worried about the potential legality of this post, everything that I have stated as fact is fact and it is not my intention to slander or spread false information.
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janearts · 3 months
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Hey, so you got to act 3 in the Astarion romance, right? How did Roisa feel about the romance scene in the graveyard?
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I did! I finished the game back in September and played out the epilogue patch more recently. Roisia was happy to bear witness to Astarion mourning his past and celebrating a future of his choosing. However, she did take umbrage at Astarion's phrasing that he would be open to having sex that evening. Knowing his history and his relationship with sex, Roisia was really looking for more clear intent, more barefaced desire. I think his wording, "I could be persuaded", would've really bothered her even though she knew he meant it cheekily (e.g., a stupid easy persuasion check, if you will).
I've included a more thorough analysis of her feelings under the cut.
Ultimately, that night poked and prodded at deeper fears and insecurities. Roisia has been left before at the end of a grand adventure wondering how she could have missed the signs that the person she adored did not quite adore her back with the same ardour. Now, older and believing herself to be wiser, she is wary and this time, she tells herself, she will keep herself in check. She will be rational, level-headed, and even-keeled. She will not let herself get swept away by irrational desire, and her love of Astarion is a very irrational, incompatible, unwise desire.
When Astarion said that he wanted her, that she stood by him through bloodlust and pain and misery, that she had been patient, caring, and trusting, that he felt safe and seen with her, and that he didn't want to lose all of that, Roisia felt a sinking unease. A queasy sort of disquiet in her gut. Because she realised that everything he described, everything about her that he praised or acknowledged or thanked, was nothing particularly special in her eyes. As a [former] Cleric of Kelemvor, as an undertaker, as a professional mourner, she has done all of the above and more with the loved ones of decedents as part of her job. It's her sacred duty to stand by people at a low and loathsome point in their lives, through their pain and misery, with patience, compassion, and an extended hand. Hell, that's just another Tuesday!
Roisia couldn't help but feel that Astarion really only loved the things that she could do for him rather than her as a person outside of those acts of service. And those things he described could have easily been done by any Mortarch worth their salt in her place. So does he truly care for her? Or is he really just thankful for the things she's done for him? Those things that really anyone could do? It does not plant a seed, exactly, but it germinates a seed that was already present in her mind, a nasty little thought that she is not special and, therefore, not truly loved in the way that she so very much wants to be loved. That, sure, Astarion cares about her, but only because she just happened to be there and has assisted people in different stages of grief since she was a child. She is fundamentally, inescapably replaceable and it's only a matter of time until Astarion realises that and does what Eustace did: clap her on the back, thank her for her time, and move on to greener pastures whatever or wherever they may be.
It was hard for Roisia to hear Astarion say things like "I want you" and "I love you" when there is a part of herself that deeply, deeply doubts that. That thinks he is wrong even if he is not yet aware that he is wrong. She is torn between taking his words at face value, the words that her heart wants to hear, or reading between the lines, which is what the parts of herself that she calls Logic and Reason call out for her to do. I think in the moment she yields to the former, but after that night, leans towards the latter.
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augustinewrites · 9 months
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alhaitham almost walks right past you in the hall, too engrossed in whatever he’s reading. it takes you gently grasping his wrist for him to look up, expression brightening briefly before diving right back into his papers. 
“is everything okay?” you ask when you notice the knot that’s formed between his brows. “i’ve hardly seen you all day.”
“i’m fine,” he tells you, which lets you know that he’s certainly stressed about something. he sighs, returning the correspondence to the envelope tucked underneath his arm. “i just don’t understand why dehya won’t accept the akademiya’s job offer.”
in his capacity as the acting grand sage, he’s been trying to get her in the akademiya’s employ for weeks, but the mercenary’s been as tough to wear down as the wall of samiel itself. “ah. still having trouble recruiting her?”
“i’ve already offered a generous salary, benefits, a signing bonus, even a housing stipend. she’d practically be working side by side with the general mahamatra.”
“well, working with the matra means she’d have to spend a great deal of time in sumeru city,” you point out. “that’s probably something she doesn’t prefer.”
“why not?” he asks (because while your man is smart beyond belief, he can be a little dense sometimes). “we have everything here.”
“that’s true, but we’re also quite far from aaru village,” you say slowly, hoping he picks up on what you’re implying. 
“i appreciate the geography lesson, but that doesn’t help me figure out how to hire–”
“i was trying to be obscure,” you press, drawing a breath. “because being in sumeru full-time means that she’ll have to spend time away from candace.” 
he stares at you blankly, waiting for you to elaborate.
“haitham–” you say, pressing your hands together and glancing around quickly to confirm no one is within earshot. “dehya and candace are knocking boots.” 
he seems taken aback by what you’ve just whispered, pausing in his stride to process it. “wait, what?”
“it’s an old expression from mondstadt that means–”
“i’m familiar with the expression. i’m just asking why you’re so positive that they are having… relations.”
“because i just know. they have crazy chemistry. nilou sees it too.”
“do either of you have evidence?”
you hesitate. “no…”
“then you’re not positive. you’re only speculating.” 
“i’m not speculating,” you insist with a pout, crossing your arms over your chest. “i just know–”
“oh, like you just knew that kaveh was only going to stay with me for less than a month?”
“that’s different,” you argue. so what if kaveh’s been staying at alhaitham’s for more than six months? that was due to various, independent factors that had nothing to do with you. “but the way they are around each other–”
“gossip is an unreliable source of information,” he says flatly. alhaitham, as a rule, did not deign to entertain gossip. it was a premise built upon the unsteady grounds of conjecture, and he could not care less to waste his time surmising about other people’s personal lives. 
“but–”
“therefore, your advice is redundant.”
you take the files from under his arm, reaching up and smacking him on the back of the head with them. “my advice is always relevant. you can trust me on this.” 
alhaitham adjusts his headphones with a sigh, a pained but contemplative look on his face. He knows you’re right, and he knows that he’s hit a wall with this proposal. “fine. i will utilize your…advice, to adjust my proposal.” 
“that’s what i like to hear.”
the two of you continue walking in silence, yours smug and his pensive. then, after a moment, 
“you realize you just hit the acting grand sage, right?”
“oh please, you don’t scare me.” you meet his amused stare with open defiance, getting up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his jaw, then his cheek, and finally his lips. “and when dehya accepts this job proposal, i can think of a few ways you can repay me.” 
_____
“you want to offer me what?”
“you heard me,” alhaitham shrugs, leaning back in his plush desk chair. “the akademiya is willing to offer you compensation of up to ten thousand gold for any and all travel between sumeru city and aaru village.”
alhaitham may be in charge of the entire nation at the moment, but he doesn’t quite feel like it when dehya is in the room. she leans forward, resting her elbows atop the highly important documents on his desk as she stares at him. “why would you do that?” 
“so you can stay in contact with your loved ones.” 
the mercenary scoffs at that. “alhaitham, come on. i know you’ve done your research. i don’t have any family in aaru village.”
moment of truth.
“i was actually referring to…significant others.”
dehya’s brows raise in surprise.
_____
when he returns that night, the first thing alhaitham does when he joins you in bed is take the patient files from your hands and place them on the nightstand.
you frown, reaching for them. “i wasn’t done with those.”
he doesn’t argue with you, instead climbing on top of you and caging you against the bed, a knee pushed between your legs. he merely chuckles when you push at his chest, cause you’re not really trying.
he simply chases after you, and any fight you had to get back to your work dissipates when he presses his lips to yours.
“oh…” you sigh, quickly looping your arms around him to drag him closer, patting your lips to let him deepen the kiss. you gasp when he moves down to press kisses to your shoulder, slowly trailing more up your neck, your jaw, the shell of your ear.  
“dehya must have accepted the offer then,” you breathe, your eyes beginning to flutter shut.
“part time only,” he murmurs. “but she signed on.”
you hook your leg around his waist, grinning “oh, so i was…what’s the word?” 
he nips at your ear in reprimand, only making you laugh as he mutters, you were right, under his breath. 
“oh, don’t pout, baby,” you tease, hands roaming the well sculpted planes of his chest. “let’s just—"
“if you say ‘knock boots,’ i’m going to leave you here and sleep on the couch.”
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kyo-00 · 2 months
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Aah!! As the strange anon who requested Naoya. I gotta say I totally agree with these headcanons! You got him perfect lol basically a d**k..unless your super hot, don't speak and magically anticipate exactly what he wants when he wants it...in which case he's slightly less of a d**k. Ooh please do gojo headcanons now I'm addicted haha
lmfao strange anon 😭😭 but fr you’re right tho, naoya would usually be the type to say “you look prettier with your mouth shut, keep it that way”.
♡.°₊Satoru is the type of man to…ˎˊ˗
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content: jjk headcanons; half sfw/half nsfw; afab!reader; i love my cutie patootie boo boo bear pookie blue eyed king gojo >.<!!
n/a: i love this man sm, I already kinda did hcs of him before, but they were mostly nsfw, so i really scratched my head to not repeat them as best as i could.
these are my hcs! feel free to agree or disagree :b any request/interaction supporting this post is very much appreciated <3
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sfw ver! ୨ৎ
Satoru is the type of man to… have gifting as his love language. Aside from being extra clingy, he’s the type to gift you stuff at least twice a week. They’re mostly things that reminds him of you or that he thinks you’d like (even though he might fail sometimes when it comes to treats, since he has a sweet tooth it may or may not be too sweet for you).
Satoru is the type of man to… act sassy/petty when jealous. Satoru isn’t the type to make a scene (at least not directed to you) or generally be ill-tempered/insecure. However, whenever he sees someone who looks at you in a different way than the others or tries to engage in a conversation with you that seems too intimate to be friendly, Satoru is the type of man to walk up to you and hug you from behind, giving you neck kisses. While you may think him being overly cuddly with you is normal due to his clingy character, Satoru is doing all that on purpose to let whoever is ‘bothering’ you that you already have someone else, with a damn smug smile plastered on his face (and maintaining direct eye contact with the stranger).
giggled and kicked my feet while writing this.
Satoru is the type of man to… try new things for you. So it is more than obvious that Satoru is old money rich. Like this dude was RICH RICH and spoiled rotten since he was child, not to mention that he’s a special grade sorcerer (he basically gets bank as a salary), therefore he’s accustomed to getting the finest things, either for you or for himself. What may seem expensive to you is probably normal for him. That doesn’t mean he’s some type of snob or is condescending about middle and working class. Satoru would be the type of be slightly skeptical when you take him to a ‘not so high-end’ restaurant, but since it was a “spot you knew”, it must be good, right? Satoru would be surprised to know that the food in the less wealthy places is sometimes even better than his common luxurious michelin-starred restaurant.
sounds like a cute trope imo
Satoru is the type of man to… taking pictures of you without you realizing it. It’s a hidden hobby of his, he thinks you look prettier when you’re distracted. Satoru has certain photo albums in his phone gallery that require a password, that is because you’d probably be embarrassed if you ever found out, but he really likes them, in the least creepy way.
Satoru is the type of man to… pretend not to know certain things as long as he has something to approach you with. Despite being good at pretty much everything, Satoru will lie and pretend to be terrible at something you are specifically passionate about so that you can teach him because he loves to see you get excited about sharing your hobbies and likes with others. His subtle way of knowing about you and collecting information he needs for when he wants to ask you out.
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nsfw ver! ୨ৎ
Satoru is the type of man to… have public sex. Whether it’s at home or at some expensive restaurant’s washroom, nothing will stop him from pounding his cock balls deep inside you, though the thought of getting caught being freaky in public always gets his adrenaline rushing and his cock throbbing.
Satoru is the type of man to… have you modeling the lingerie he buys for you. He loves to see how excited you are to show him the little lingerie you bought with his card. But he loves it more when you thank him bouncing on his dick.
Satoru is the type of man to… have phone sex with you when he’s away. Due to his work, he has to sometimes to fly across Japan and this can take a few days before he comes back home. Satoru will call you late at night to ask how your day was then ask you to play with yourself, maybe even do a video call so he can see your pretty ‘o’ face.
Satoru is the type of man to… cover you in hickeys. He takes pride in letting everyone know he fucked you real good last night as well as to mark you as his. It also helps to keep other men from you, so he does this pretty often.
Satoru is the type of man to… fuck you in front of a mirror. Satoru likes to fuck you in doggy as well as to see your fucked out face, so he came up with the solution of placing a mirror in front of his bed so he can plunge his cock deep inside your walls just the way he likes and get to see you roll your eyes to the back of your head as he rearranges your guts. He also gets to look at himself and brag a little. (a little narcissistic from him if you ask me lmao)
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jvngkoos · 9 months
Text
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⤷ over the phone — jjk (m)
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pairing: bf!jungkook x gf!reader
rating: explicit, mdni
summary: ever since you left to visit your parents, Jungkook was doing miserable. he couldn’t do nothing as he missed you terribly, even sleeping in his own bed became a torture. and all he needed to beat his insomnia was a phone call, which turned into much more later.
word count: 3.2k
warnings: phone s*x, m*sturbating, dirty talk, implied vag*nal s*x, implied car s*x, mentions of bl*wjob, pet names
notes: i had to write something after I saw how cute and bf jk looked in his live saying he couldn’t sleep, so here it is, hope you like this one 🩶
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“I can’t do this.” Jungkook huffed out feeling frustrated, kicking his blanket off of his legs as he turned around on his king size bed, reaching for his phone on the nightstand.
It was 2 am, yet despite his hardest efforts, he couldn’t sleep. 
Normally, when something like this happened, he wouldn’t pay much mind to it. He’d open up a random movie on Netflix and grab himself a night snack — but this time, this time it was different. 
Because ever since you left to visit your parents, he struggled to fall asleep, feeling too lonely in his bed without your warmth next to him. 
He was too used to having you in his arms as he slept, so much that your absence became the cause of his newly starting insomnia. 
He could only get  three or if he got lucky, four hours of sleep each night for the past week, which made everything even worse than it already was. 
Exhaustion was a part of him now, no matter how much he hated it, and it was a part that made his nights turn into absolute hell, in a literal way.
He missed you so much — he missed you even more than he’d usually do due to his current problem of sleeping and even though he tried not to bother you so much, he couldn’t stop himself from calling you numerous times during the day. 
He was curious about how you were and what you were doing, but he was most curious about how his absence affected you. 
He wanted to know if you were as miserable as him or if he was the only crazy one amongst you, but unfortunately, he couldn’t ask that directly to you. 
Because, you were gone to see your parents — which only happened 3 times a year at max so, wouldn’t it be unfair if he’d ranted about going through an indescribable hell without you?
He literally had you by his side every remaining day of the year — no no, doing that would be so selfish, he thought, he couldn’t ruin such a rare time for you like that.
You deserved to have a great time with your mom and dad, you deserved to have some hassle-free, quality time with them. 
Therefore Jungkook was gonna be a good boyfriend and keep his mouth shut until you returned, he wasn’t gonna act like a freaking man boy and cry about not being able to touch or kiss or smell or hug or fuck his girlfriend for a week. 
As he let his phone drop onto his belly, “Okay, Jungkook,” he muttered, closing his eyes, “you can do this, you can sleep without your girlfriend next to you.” he said, nodding to himself. 
He let out a deep sigh and relaxed into his pillow, once more giving sleeping a chance. But nope, he couldn’t silence the thoughts inside his brain, nor did he wanted to, in that matter. 
He wanted to talk to you, he wanted to tell you he needed you, especially on his dıck. Because not only did he have a hard time falling asleep, he also had a hard time remaining that way. 
Why, you ask? 
Well, thanks to the dreams he had about you, of course. 
Every time he managed to doze off, he ended up seeing you sucking him, if not, fucking him right on the bed he was currently laying on, which was no different than a torture. 
Waking up had become a disappointment without you by his side, and his right hand was about to fall off from overuse so, he felt as helpless as a bird with a broken wing. 
Alright, screw it, he thought, he was gonna call you — in fact, he was gonna FaceTime you because maybe by a chance, if you’d pick up the phone, seeing you would help him clear his head. 
But as he was busy searching for your name on his crowded contacts list, he never thought that you’d actually be awake at this time of the night — especially not to touch yourself, for that reason. 
Oh yes, he was indeed not the only one struggling with his hormones lately, you were going through the exact same issue here. 
It was embarrassing to even say this but ever since the day you’ve arrived, you didn’t stop missing Jungkook for a second, so much that starting from the first night, you’ve been touching yourself to the thought of him — yes, in your freaking childhood room. 
Suddenly the only thing you could think about was him, and his lips, his smile, his scent, his hands, his hair, his dıck even, when you were supposed to focus on being with your parents, and spend time with them. 
Honestly at this point, you were debating on returning home to your boyfriend early because neither your fingers, nor your vibrator did a good job satisfying you anymore. You wanted him — you needed him, more than you ever did. 
And a video call from him in the middle of the night was nowhere near giving you what your body craved but still, it was better than nothing. So, although you had no clothes on and had one hand deep in your cunt, you decided to take his call, hoping it could at least provide you a relief of some sort. 
“Hey, baby,” you softly spoke, picking up your phone, smiling at your screen as you didn’t even bother to remove the three fingers that you had deep within your walls, “what’s up, why are you up so late?” 
Your voice came out natural despite the fact that you were almost panting, sweat dripping down from your forehead to your neck. Unlike your messy state, Jungkook looked fluffier than ever with his bed hair and puffy eyes, that sheepish smile of his making him look even cuter than he already was. 
“Nothing,” he muttered, flipping around to lay on his tummy, bringing his arm under his chin as he stared lovingly at you behind his screen, “I just couldn’t sleep, that’s all.” 
“Nightmares?” 
“Nope,” he shook his head, giving you a reassuring smile, “I just feel your absence in my arms a little too much, so it’s hard to fall asleep,” he added, pouting as he played with his nails, “how about you, why aren’t you sleeping?” 
“Same reason as you,” you admitted with a dreamy sigh, “I miss my boyfriend in my bed,” you said, “It feels too cold on my own without him.” 
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” 
Something about the way you sounded — something about your voice carried a hint of playfulness, Jungkook could feel it, he knew you too well to miss that. 
When you said that you missed him in your bed, he could tell it wasn’t such an innocently made comment, nope, not when you also mentioned how cold you felt without him. 
Ugh, the things he could do to make you feel warm again, the list was endless, if only you were there next to him. But unfortunately you weren’t so, guess he had to find a way to warm you up from where he was. 
“What if there was a way that we could both warm up?” he asked as he got up from the bed and placed his phone on the nightstand, raising his eyebrows and biting on his lips before reaching down to the hem of his black shirt to remove it. 
“It may not feel as warm as when I’m there but,” he let out, throwing the said shirt on the floor, “I promise it’ll feel warm enough baby.” he nodded, trying to convince you as if you weren’t fingering yourself under the blanket for straight half an hour. 
God he was so cute, so very cute that you wanted his dıck shoved down your throat right now. 
“So, what do you say, wanna give it a try?” 
The way he sat back on his large bed across his phone, spreading his legs apart as he leaned back while the dim lights in the room fell on his abs with just the right angle almost made you moan out loud — because oh my god, he was so fucking hot, you wanted him to do unspeakable things to you. 
“Definitely,” you responded with a devilish grin as you kicked off your blanket, and let it fall on the ground. You then got up from your bed and walked up to your door to lock it, nudely, “I say we should definitely try it.” 
To say that Jungkook’s jaw dropped to the floor as he watched the way your bare boobs jiggle with every step you took would be an understatement, he was in complete shock, but in a good way, of course.
“Y/n, why are you naked?” he gasped out, eyes growing big with realization right after he spoke, “Wait, were you—” he breathed out, running his tattooed hand through his hair, “were you touching yourself just now?”
Right, he thought, that was why her face was red and her hair seemed so messy — now it all makes sense, he told himself, he was a total dumbass for not noticing it earlier. 
You bit your lower lip as you walked back to your bed, nodding guiltily at his question while fondling one of your tıts with your hand, making sure it showed up clearly on the screen — since Jungkook liked watching you touch yourself like that. 
“It’s been terrible without you, baby,” you whined, sitting on your bed just like he did — spreading your legs apart as you brought the camera closer, to get a clearer view of your wetness for your drooling boyfriend. 
“I miss you like crazy, I couldn’t stop myself.” 
As you trailed your beautiful fingers over your hole, Jungkook hissed, dıck twitching at the sight before him. Oh how much he wanted for you to be there instead, so that he could dive his head right into your dripping core. 
He missed the taste of you, so incredibly much. 
“Aw baby, you look so wet for me,” he cooed, pressing a hand on his growing bulge over his clothes, “you missed me that much, hm?” 
“Mhm, Kook, I missed you a lot.” 
“I missed you even more, princess,” he murmured with a sweet tone — a little deep too, “I’ve been going nuts thinking about you.” 
As he continued his sweet talk, you were slowly rubbing your clıt, trying your best to get the best angle that showed both your hands and your face. 
The only light source in the room was your night lamp so, everything was a little blurry from his point of view but still, he was able to see how your pretty face scrunched to let out a soft whimper of his name as your hands remained still in their position, drawing small circles on your sensitive flesh. 
“I wish you were here so bad, Kook.” you whined, rocking your hips against your palm, arching your back to give him a better sight of your perked up tıts. 
You were so gorgeous, God, he wanted to eat you whole literally. 
But why was he so turned on by the way you were playing with yourself like that before him, all shamelessly, when he was supposed to be mad? 
You weren’t allowed to do that, didn’t you know? 
Normally, he wouldn’t think twice to punish you for breaking his rule but this time, he was honestly too far tired to care. 
He was frustrated — he has been frustrated for an entire week, enough to ignore everything and just slide down his sweatpants along with his boxers at one go right now. 
“God baby,” groaned as he spat on his tatted hand and reached to his cock, stroking his rock hard shaft meticulously, “I’d do anything to be there with you right now.” 
Then, he grabbed his phone from the stand and zoomed in on his dick, smearing the mixture of his precum and spit all over his length, from base to top. 
“I didn’t stop thinking about you for a second this week,” he let out, stopping to give his balls a massage — yes, he was a little sensitive there, you kinda found that cute, “even in my dreams baby, all I see is you.” 
“Even in your dreams?” 
“Mhm, in all of them.” 
“Tell me about them, then,” you requested, “I wanna know everything.” 
Poking his cheek with his tongue, Jungkook closed his eyes and let the images flow to his mind. There were so many things to tell actually, he didn’t know where to start. 
“Should I start with the most recent one?” he asked, biting his plump bottom lip, “The one I had this morning?” 
“Yes, please do.” 
With your response, he opened his eyes back, carrying a much darker gaze on them. “We were on this bed,” he breathed, looking down at his cock, “I was asleep, naked, and you were sucking me off,” he added, “I woke up to you giving me head in my dream.” 
“I was sucking you off like this?” 
Bringing the hand you used to rub your clıt to your lips, you licked your ring finger along with the middle before sucking them whole, hollowing your cheeks just like you did every time he fucked your mouth.
“Fuck yeah,” he moaned, “exactly like that.” 
Watching you portray his dream perfectly well made his dıck throb in his palms, he felt the need to pace up his rhythm, pretending that it was your mouth instead that made him feel this way. 
“You took me whole, balls deep,” he sighed, continuing to his small story, “I could feel the way your throat clenched around me,” he murmured, leaning his head behind, “and it was perfect, you always take me so well baby.” 
His small praise made you giggle as you let go of your fingers with a small pop, and switched your phone to your other hand. 
“So I made you feel good?” 
“You made me feel great, angel,” he answered without hesitation, “so great that I came in my pants while sleeping.” 
Awww poor baby, you thought, it must’ve been such a struggle for him to clean up that mess. Maybe you could share some of your stories to cheer him up, since it seemed like he had a very rough day because of you. 
“Wanna hear about my dream?” you chirped, giving him a cute grin behind the screen, “I also had one this morning.” 
“Sure, princess,” he replied, “go on.” 
And just from the way your grin turned into a big smile, Jungkook could tell that what you were about to say was gonna be good. He needed it to be, his wrist was going numb and more importantly, his dıck was twitching hard — aching to spill his seeds. 
He needed a release, as soon as possible. 
“I dreamt about you picking me up from the airport,” you calmly said, laying on your back on the bed, “it was night as you drove us back home but, we couldn’t really keep our hands to ourselves on our way.” 
“That so?” 
“Yeah.” 
Jungkook’s eyes glistened as he tried to visualize the next scene inside his head — car sex, huh? It was something you’ve never tried before, but it sounded too hot to remain that way. His car was big enough anyway, there was no need to worry about the shortness of the space. 
“So what did we do, fucked in the car?” 
“Oh yes we did,” you whined, trailing a hand down to your cunt and landing a slap on your hole, “you pulled over somewhere quiet and fucked me on the backseat, you said you missed me too much to wait till home.” 
Even the thought of your dream had you clenching around thin air, fuck, it was such a disappointment to wake up to and empty bed from something so good. Because your fingers felt nowhere near to how amazing it was having him inside you, yet they were the only thing you could have right now, since your boyfriend was unfortunately miles away. 
So, as you did in the morning, you once again trusted your hands for your pleasure and poked two digits in through your slit. After pushing them knuckles deep, you curled them in, and pulled them out before repeating the same thing — the whole process reflecting to your front camera in the meantime. 
“You were so big, as big as my three fingers,” you whimpered as you added another in just like you said, and began to pump them in and out — trying to recreate the way Jungkook fucked you in your dream, “you were so fast, so strong Kook, it was perfect.”
“Shit, was I fast like this?”   
And with that, he brought his phone even closer to his crotch — giving you a close up on how furiously he was stroking himself to the thought of you. His tip was angry in red, his shaft was rigid with the immense rush of blood. 
He was loud, so loud that his voice echoed inside your room, the lewd noises that escaped from his pretty lips filling in your ears like a beautiful melody. You could tell that he was close considering the breathy curses he let out, all carrying a hint of how endless his lust was for you. 
And by the time you managed to say “Yes baby, just like that.” he was already done, making a mess on his hands as he spurted hot shots of his cum on his lower belly, calling your name out as he did so. 
His heavy breathing mixed with yours, making you feel almost like he was really there as you closed your eyes, and let your climax wash over you. With the way you shivered, it was hard to retain the grip of your phone so you let it drop on your bed and focused your power on catching your breath instead. 
After a short five minutes of silence, you felt better — at least to speak, I mean, since you weren’t panting for air anymore. 
“That was amazing,” you let out, chuckling softly, “it was exhausting but totally worth it, don’t you think, kookie?” 
As the sound of Jungkook’s loud snoring rose from the background, your question went unanswered, which left you laughing out loud on your bed in return. 
Poor thing, he was so riled up that he fell asleep, you thought, wasn’t he so endearingly cute?
You’d give the world to see his face right now but unfortunately, nothing other than his ceiling was visible on the screen of your phone. Yet despite missing the chance of watching him till the morning, you were happy, now that he was finally gonna get some rest this way. 
You definitely should do the same, since it was already 4 am in the morning, and you had a busy schedule waiting for you tomorrow. 
But because you couldn’t bear hanging up, “Good night, my love,” you said instead, and lifted your phone onto your night stand. 
By the looks of it, you were gonna have to cut your vacation short, and return home earlier than you planned for the sake of both yours and Jungkook’s sanity. 
Who knew? Maybe that car sex you dreamt about didn’t have to remain as just a dream for long, aftet all. 
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ♡︎.
©jvngkooks on tumblr, do not plagiarize.
1K notes · View notes
unfoldingmysteries · 4 months
Text
Perfect Secret
Husband! Yuuji Itadori x Pregnant! Reader
Premise: Telling your husband, Yuuji, that you're pregnant. (All fluff)
W/C: 1090
A/N: Its not exactly finished, but I wanted to get some Yuuji content posted :) This may or may not be inspired from walking around Tokyo Disney...
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You hadn't been here in years, but your husband insisted on dragging you here. The Happiest Place on Earth. You took a moment, taking in the crowd around you, the sights, the smells. Eyes falling back on your husband, well the back of his head as he led you through the crowd. There were so many families. So many little ones holding onto their parents, looking around in awe. You couldn’t help but wonder how Yuuji would look. His hand held out to your little one as they both looked around in awe. Your little one at everything around them, and Yuuji enjoying the wonder through their eyes.
Lost in thought, you almost lost Yuuji again as he weaseled his way through the mass of people. Grabbing onto the back of his jacket you pipe up from behind him, “I feel like a little kid trying to not loose you.” “Just keep up!” he laughs, looking back at you. Long legs and height allowing him to navigate the cramped space with ease.
You had a secret… And it was in the back of your mind all day. Do you tell him? Was today the right day? The right time? Would there even be a right time and place?
It had only been a few months since you decided to try and start a family. You were in no rush, enjoying the process. If it was meant to happen, it would. Therefore, you had a large stash of cheap pregnancy tests. You ended up needing to hide them otherwise Yuuji randomly used them. You can't help but chuckle at the memory of finding him using one for the first time.
Since he doesn't know your hiding place, he wouldn’t know that your stash had started to dwindle in the past two weeks. When your period didn’t come right on schedule you started taking them. One per day.
You were surprised Yuuji never said anything about it, but I guess with some things he’s just oblivious. Maybe he just didn’t know the difference between the packaging for the pregnancy tests versus your period products in the trash. Your trash can also has a lid, so you doubt he even saw them to begin with.
About three days ago the faintest second line appeared. You immediately took another test. Again. The same faint little line. You weren’t convinced yet. Not wanting to get Yuuji excited for nothing. However, over the following days that little line got darker and darker with each test.
You had been holding on to the strap of your small crossbody purse all day, so it didn’t seem out of character that you had shifted your hand to lay across your stomach. The motion itself imperceptible. What would happen in the coming months?
Seeing all the families with little ones you couldn’t wait to bring yours here. And Yuuji was blissfully unaware. You had one hand on his bicep to not loose him, the other across your stomach. Spacing out thinking about your future family.
“Y/n… Earth to Y/n?” Your husband's voice bringing you back to reality. “Huh? Sorry…”
His eyes fall to the hand across your stomach and back up to meet your eyes, “You ok?” “Yea I- I’m good,” you moved your hand back to hold the strap of your cross body.
“You hungry or something?” “Let’s find lunch… Then a churro! You lead the way.” It was to some relief that Yuuji didn't question you further. Giving you the perfect excuse by asking if food was the answer. He could be so observant about some things and completely oblivious to others. And that’s why you loved him. You had to get it together if you weren’t going to ruin the surprise. You figured you couldn't keep this from him any longer.
***
"Had enough yet?" You could tell he didn't want to leave, but you'd be lying if your feet weren't aching.
“I think we need to enjoy our last time here as a family of two a little more.”
You could practically hear the gears turning in his head as he stared at you. You kept walking not realizing he stopped. Stumbling as he pulled you back by the arm with your interlocked fingers. You turned to meet his gaze. Eyes full of excitement and confusion. “You mean…?"
You smiled the biggest goofy smile you ever had. Confirming words not finding the chance to leave your mouth. You barely nodded your head.
Yuuji had his arms wrapped around your thighs in a heartbeat. Lifting you up and spinning around. A soft giggle left you at his actions. “Yuuji!” He loosened his grip slightly so that you slide down lower. Making you face to face, resting your forearms against his shoulders. He captured your lips in a kiss before pulling away. “Y/n, are you serious?” “As serious as I’ll ever be, now will you put me down?”
He kneeled down slowly until your feet touched the ground. To your surprise instead of standing back up he continued to his knees in front of you. One arm still wrapped around the back of your legs the other came to your waist. Thumb rubbing across your stomach. He pressed a kiss to your stomach through your clothes.
“Yuuji!”
“I can’t wait to meet you.”
“Get up!”
“I love you so much already.”
“Seriously! We’re in public!”
He quickly stood up. Cupping your face between his hands and kissed you passionately. He finally breaks the kiss with, “I love you.” “I love you too,” as you looked up to meet his eyes. Finally seeing the tears of joy along his waterline, the first falling down his cheek. You smiled back at him, your own tears threatening to form. You gently wipe the tear away with the pad of your thumb.
They joy on his face quickly falls, “Wait, why are we even here? Is it safe for you?"
You look back at him with utter confusion, “What do you mean?"
“I mean aren’t you not supposed to ride roller coasters when you’re pregnant? Or something like that…"
You roll your eyes and laugh, “It’s Disney. The worst ride is like… space mountain?"
"And we already rode that!?!"
“I promise you I’m fine."
“Excuse me.”
You both turned to the voice.
“Please take a look at these on the photo pass, have a wonderful day!” The Disney photographer had captured the entire moment. All with the castle in the background.
A perfect place. A perfect time. A perfect secret.
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777bin · 10 months
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Hyunjin making a sextape with his gf!!
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_requested!
pairing: hyunjin + female reader
warnings: (smut), soft dom-hyunjin, sub-reader, anal, begging, nipple/breast play, oral (male receiving), deepthroating, face-fucking, fingering, consented videotaping, hair pulling, creampie
word count: 1,340
author's note: sorry it took me a minute to post this! I'm finally getting back into writing and I was pretty rusty. therefore, the fic might not be as good as it could have been
8:02 am
hyunjin always wanted to try something different in his time of sexual need. he was up for everything, definitely anything--as long as you both liked it of course. though, you'd think early in the morning he wouldn't be as energized as he was. it was rainy days like this one that he'd especially love to experiment, usually out of boredom. it was not always that he got to. while the rainy days made him more experimental, these were your relaxed, sleep-in days.
you already had a sort of insomnia, swallowing down melatonin oftentimes; and yet the rainy days had you even more worn out.
...
*taptap* the raindrops splashed, seeping threw the protection screen of the half-open window. with the window close enough to your side of the bed, drops would hit your half-sleep face, waking you completely up eventually.
you lay on the plush comfort of your bedding, as hyunjin pondered his next line of action in the living room. it's not like you were far from each other. at this time, you and hyun shared a minimalist-styled, average-sized studio apartment. the door that led to the bedroom was very close to the living room, and he had a straight-shot view of where you were.
"babe, i'm showering~" you called out, a towel wrapped around your figure as you moved your hair out of your face. with every movement you made, your thighs would rub against each other, creating friction. he didn't say anything, all you heard was the sound of the hot shower running by the second, and the television playing.
...
as you stepped into the shower, the warm water washed over your body, and the water hitting your back felt like a bunch of tiny pellets massaging your back. you closed her eyes and stood there momentarily, enjoying the moment's peacefulness.
until the sound of a camera shutter snapped you out of your trance. your eyes looked over to see hyun with the camera he loved so much. he was a natural-born photographer, and the day you began dating, you became his favorite view. there have been many times when he'd photograph you; whenever you were out on dates, the times you got dressed up to go out with friends, or even those soft, sensual moments after sex when you'd roll up into the blanket looking delicate.
"pose for me, pretty please..." he urged, making sure to capture all the right angles. you made those doe eyes he loved so much, looking innocently towards the camera, as your body maneuvered.
"i'm gonna film--is that fine?" he questioned. hyunjin was never one to do things you weren't okay with. he catered to you in every aspect; he enjoyed putting you first before everything else. once you nodded, he clicked the button, "and...rolling," he whispered. as you walked out of the bathroom, he followed you with his camera, eventually propping it up onto a smaller table within the bedroom.
swiftly, his gentle hands gripped your waist, pressing himself against you. you sighed at the feeling of his hard-on rubbing against you, knowing exactly what was happening. with short glance at the red flash of the camera, you turned to face hyunjin, giving him a hot kiss; one that turned into a make out.
this camera was nothing cheap. anyone who later watched this tape could see every possible detail through the HD lens.
...
at this moment, hyunjin had picked you up as you were still wrapped in your towel, tenderly placing you on the comforter of your bed. he removed your towel, kissing down your neck as his left hand moved down to cup your warm cunt, massaging with his slim fingers.
softly, you sighed out of pleasure, trying to keep quiet. sex was something you both loved deeply, yet hearing your own moans left you sheepish, a reddish-pink hue heating up your face.
"no, I want to hear you, sweetheart, please~" he muttered, sucking light hickeys onto your neck. "hyun-" you could barely finish your call for him, as he began sucking on the soft bud of your right breast, causing you to squirm.
he uses his left hand to fiddle with the other bud, using his warm tongue to slobbery over the breast profusely. slowly but surely, he makes his way down your stomach, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses, as he reaches your most delicate hole.
with care, he nips at your clit, slipping a finger inside your welcoming walls. "you're so beautiful from this angle princess~" he praises. he then abruptly removes his digit from your cunt and moves over to bring the camera for a closer view of what he's looking at from below. the photographer in him wants to get all the right, perfect angles, while his own neediness is wanting to overtake you, no matter what the film captures with its sleek lens.
while holding the camera with his left hand, he uses his right hand to slip 2 digits inside of you, fingering you at a rapid pace. your body relaxes, heating up at the sensation of his lengthy, slim fingers reaching the crevices of your silky sweet warmth.
suddenly, you feel his thumb rub your clit in a circular motion, making sure to follow the same speed he fingers you with.
"f-fuck hyun; im close~" you whined, gripping onto the bedsheets. briskly, he removes his fingers, leaving you at the edge of your high, yearning for more of the friction.
"stop lying there and return the favor y/n~" he smirks, watching you as you heave, calming down from the unreleased orgasm.
he sets the camera down as you move onto your knees for him. kneeling before him, you pull down his sweats and boxers at the same time, and the tip of his lengthy, 6-inch cock hits his stomach. drooling, you kiss the tip of him, swirling your tongue around it. he bites his bottom lip, his stare intense as he looks down at you.
it's like he can no longer control himself; he uses his hands to grip your hair, shoving his cock down your throat. the excitement takes over his body as his head is thrown back in pleasure. his breath hitches as you take control of the pace, showing his cock every bit of love you have. for a minute or so, you make sure to look into the camera sensually, viewing just how good you look as your saliva covers your face.
as he groans, you can feel his legs start to go feeble, and you remove him from your mouth. "not just yet, let's really put on a show~" you encourage, and he wastes no time.
soon, you're thrown onto the bed. he roughly pulls you to the edge of the bed, lining the tip of his cock up to your hole. with no hesitation, he stuffs himself inside of you, stretching your walls. his hands grip your waist, leaning down to kiss you. the tip of him kisses your cervix with every movement, the veins of his cock heightening the feeling of him inside you.
the palms of his hands push your legs further apart to push himself deeper and deeper into you. his kisses turn into soft breathing against your ear, hyunjin whispering sweet nothings and words of affirmation.
"i fall even harder for you the longer i'm inside of you...you're so precious to me~" he whines, drops of sweat dripping from his forehead and onto yours.
"hey love, i'm gonna finish soon," he warns and reaches for the camera, "tell the camera bye baby" he encourages.
you reach your climax as your body gives out and he follows, the camera jittering in his hands. lazily, you wave at the camera, blowing an out-of-breath kiss to your imaginary audience. he stops the film and tosses the camera onto the bed.
as he slides himself out of you, the camera makes a noise, indicating that the battery has died as it shuts off and he carries you to the bathtub afterwards.
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noroi1000 · 6 months
Note
hii noroi! saw you opened your rq for 2 weeks 👀 neways- can i rq angst where reader dies bc of mahito? like what happened to nanami and how stsg react? i live for the angst!!
Too weak
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Heavy angst warning!!! Character death!!!
Summary: You thought you were strong enough to fight without their help...
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You slowly walked down the alley when you knew your boys were waiting on the other side.
You kept a hand on your very hurting side.
You told them that you are strong and as a special class you will be able to defeat the special class. You told them you would go alone and when you were done you would come back to them. And you also said that if you needed help, you would call them. Because you wanted to show them that you can be as strong as them.
But you were too weak.
You had to run away. That's why you ran between buildings and when you didn't feel like you were being chased, you stopped running and walked towards them.
You didn't want to die. The wounds should be normal for a Jujutsu sorcerer.
But this thing wasn't a wound. Your whole side was black. It hurt so much. As if the pain radiated throughout your body. You couldn't speak without whimpering.
There was no blood on your clothes. But this terrible pain prevented you from doing much but suffering.
There was a ray of hope in your soul that they would help you and you would return home. Everything will be fine
"You were supposed to be strong. And you are. But you can't be untouchable, can you?" Your opponent's words echoed in your ears.
And his sadistic smile couldn't fade from your mind.
With each step you took, you felt your bones breaking. As if it was made of such a fragile thing.
You ignored the pain you felt and kept walking.
But the moment you saw your boys, you just gave up and lowered your body to the ground.
Sitting against the wall, you called out their names quietly.
"...Satoru....Suguru..." Your lips were dry and you thought that nothing could moisturize it.
You just want them to overcome the curse and take you home. So that you can be together with a smile.
But why was everything blurry outside of their figures?
When their eyes landed on you, they were a little scared.
You were sitting on the ground, tiredness visible on your face. They ran up to you, checking your condition.
"(y/n), are you okay!?" Suguru began to check you over completely. His hands explored you and you gave him a weak smile.
You came back after half an hour. And the fact that you are here may mean that you have won or escaped.
"...It's just a little scratch..." You coughed slightly. "I was just too weak for it."
You gave them a weak-eyed smile.
You always wanted to see them in the last minutes of your life. Be with them. But you don't die. It's a small wound that just needs treatment. You are alive. You don't die. You are here with them all the time.
"Too weak for this... Sorry..."
"You don't have to apologize." Satoru reassured you, moving your hand away to check your wound. "Suguru, can you take care of this curse?"
"Maybe we should take care of (y/n) first?”
"You can leave her to me! I can take her to Shoko now!" he said with worry and a smile to calm down the situation.
You couldn't see it, but your skin was so pale. Your veins throbbed as you sat in front of him. Your skin felt so very hot despite how it looked.
And there were darker circles under your eyes. You looked completely different than half an hour ago.
You had to get care quickly. Therefore, the best way will be to take you directly to Shoko. But you're conscious. That's why it's good.
"Should I change her soul into the shape of a rabbit? That would be fun! You finally released a little defenseless bunny for my amusement!" A voice echoed through the alley.
Your eyes widened as you knew he hadn't stopped chasing you.
You reached for Satoru's uniform, but suddenly you couldn't feel your body anymore and you fell limp in his hands.
"(y/n)!"
You felt your lips become wet. But it wasn't saliva or water. It was much more dense.
"Such a little soul! It was sweet! I would like more sorcerers like this to play with! Experimenting on special grade sorcerers is exciting!"
You felt a great pressure in your head whenever he spoke. Like something was about to burst your skull. At the same time, your side hurt so much.
"Please hold on a little longer! I'll take you to Shoko now!" Satoru shouted and tried to pick you up. But as soon as he wanted to get up, he felt like your body was crumbling from the inside. As if you were so fragile and one squeeze could break you.
Suguru looked in horror at the black cracks on the skin of your hands. Several of them had small drops of blood oozing out.
Feeling weaker from the pain, you breathed a little weaker. Your vision was blurry. You couldn't see anything but their faces.
The terror in Suguru's eyes as he set his curses for protection when he also wanted to take care of you.
"...There is no time... Toru..." you moaned weakly, feeling nothing but blood on your tongue.
In the distance, you heard a quiet psychopathic song about a dying rabbit.
If it were Suguru's voice, you would be calmer. But it was the voice of a curse that wanted to watch you suffer, slowly killing you before their eyes.
You just wanted to go home...
Have you asked for too much?
Was that too much of a desire?
You were too confident to fight this curse... You went there without help...
Was your desire to go home really too much? A dream that can't come true?
„The bunny lay in tears, For me is time to cheers~”
Since when have you been crying?
Or maybe it's true...
"...Toru... Sugu... I'm sorry... I was too weak..." you jerked hoarsely.
"No no no! It'll be fine soon!"
"...Sorry... I just... Wanted to go home...to much..." You moaned, not knowing he had said anything as your ears were filled with the same thick liquid as your mouth.
You forced your aching facial muscles to show them a smile.
"...I just want to... Go home–."
Your breath hitched suddenly as the imaginary song in the background ended.
„And for the song end, The bunny is just dead.”
Blood flowed from all over your face as your breathing hitched and your body became as soft as marshmallows in his arms.
All they could hear now was the chuckle of the curse behind them. And their own breaths as they watched your body not move at all.
"...(y/n)...?" Suguru whispered, unable to breathe for a moment. And then he looked at the petrified face of Satoru whose blindfold began to drop tears onto his cheeks.
With a muffled whine, he moved your body closer to his, hugging you. Suguru grabbed his neck, resting his forehead on his shoulder as he was terrified by the sight.
"Aww... I wanted more fun... But this was fun too!"
What will be the most painful death for the curse?
Almost kill, absorb, release and torture until death. Watching the suffering.
Just like they had to lose you, that curse with the stitched face will lose the smile from its face...
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