#theres no description of what this book is at all anywhere you have to just trust you know what new york times

[qeyond]

Did I ever tell y'all that when I was a teen I was trying to write a fan fic about B before he did the LABB murders and I worked so hard on it and I put so much love and heart into it and it was very over dramatic and emo because it was like also a diary. But the thing I did was I made it B writing about himself (he wrote the fanfic) and then I also titled the fan fic "Just Being B". Like why does it sound like a sitcom, on paper reads like a sitcom, but is actually a hard, emotional retell of B's harrowing past and pains and horrors and all these fucked up reasons why he wanted to do the LABB crimes?

Anyway, Beyond Birthday possessed me to write his clown ass autobiography when I was 13 and he really loved doing it.

[depressed-toadstool]

Essays Nobody Asked For #1: The Onslaught of Sex in YA

Remember, "essay" is a loose term for this, don't expect anything super academic.

Today, I started a Youtube video about "Fourth Wing" by Rebecca Yarros, and within it they mentioned the sub-genre of "New Adult." Now, this term is entirely new to me, but whether or not this category is actually new or simply has risen in popularity is unknown to me. For anyone who doesn't know them term, it, as the Youtuber described, stands for Young-Adult style/level books that include graphic sex. Porn, smut, whatever you may call it.

It's undeniable that BookTok has caused a rise in these "New Adult" books. It's a stereotype of BookTok books to include "spice" (Fourth Wing being no exception), and it's one that is painfully accurate. Now, I'm not here to judge people for wanting to read mature content. Not my thing, and I think the way many people approach books nowadays is a bit concerning, but that's not what this got me thinking about.

It got me thinking about a concerning trend with these "New Adult" books. Just the description had my head turned. "Young Adult fiction, with porn." YA novels, or teen novels, at their core are targeting towards teens. This could range from 13 to 17, and theres definitely sub-genres within YA that separate the "13 year old" books from the "17 year old" books, but in general, if a book is catered as YA, it's catered to the entire age group.

So why on earth would their be a category with it that includes such graphic sexual content? Like I've said, my issue isn't with the sex existing. You can write and read as many horny books as you want. My issue is that it's being clearly advertised to a group I believe should not consume this graphic content. Should 13 year olds be taught about sex and not entirely sheltered from it's existence? Yes. Should they be reading Ice Breaker levels of smut scenes graphically describing people fucking? No.

Books like Fourth Wing and Ice Breaker are catered towards this young age group and I find it very strange, if not concerning. Why are we giving these explicit novels cartoonish and appealing covers, with no actual indication anywhere on it of the mature content within. The back cover description gives no hint of it at all. And beyond these cartoonish covers that are slowly becoming a staple in this new BookTok wave of "New Adult," there's the very writing of the books.

These books are not difficult reads. They aren't advanced or adult reading levels; they're very easy to follow and get into. That is by no means a comment on their quality, but it begs the question of who is meant to read them. If you're writing your book at a low-teen level, who are you expecting is reading it? It's entirely strange that so many aspects of these books are catered towards younger teens, exposing them to literal porn (even if written) at an age I firmly believe they shouldn't be exposed to it.

With that stance comes a lot of argument. A lot of people go "I read this and watched this and I turned out fine." Now, I'm not one to say you didn't turn out fine, but my question is always: Would you have been better? I wholly believe being exposed to highly explicit content at a young and impressionable age like 13-14 can be very impactful, and not in a good way. I, myself, being on the internet at 13, was reading and seeing a lot of comics I shouldn't have, and no, I don't think it's fine that I was. I think there are some issues I face now that totally could've been avoided. It feels childish to continue to hold this "rebellious teen" attitude of "Well I was so cool and different I was fine even though I saw this kind of thing." I think it's important to step back and acknowledge that maybe it wasn't so great for you.

I don't have any sort of wise solution or catch all for this. I'm not saying we need to ban these books or how dare they write them; just that it feels not a lot of people seem to mention how strange it is that they so heavily cater themselves towards a younger audience. Maybe we should start plastic-wrapping them like explicit Manga novels do.

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Revenge time ✨✨

0:Height

1:Virgin?

2:Shoe size

3:Do you smoke?

4:Do you drink?

5:Do you take drugs?

6:Age you get mistaken for

7:Have tattoos?

8:Want any tattoos?

9:Got any piercings?

10:Want any piercings?

11:Best friend?

12:Relationship status

13:Biggest turn ons

14:Biggest turn offs

15:Favorite movie

16:I’ll love you if

17:Someone you miss

18:Most traumatic experience

19:A fact about your personality

20:What I hate most about myself

21:What I love most about myself

22:What I want to be when I get older

23:My relationship with my sibling(s)

24:My relationship with my parent(s)

25:My idea of a perfect date

26:My biggest pet peeves

27:A description of the girl/boy I like

28:A description of the person I dislike the most

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30:What I hate the most about work/school

31:What your last text message says

32:What words upset me the most

33:What words make me feel the best about myself

34:What I find attractive in women

35:What I find attractive in men

36:Where I would like to live

37:One of my insecurities

38:My childhood career choice

39:My favorite ice cream flavor

40:Who wish I could be

41:Where I want to be right now

42:The last thing I ate

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44:A random fact about anything

🤭✨😌.

What?? Vengeance??? I never saw this one coming (wink emoji)

0:Height: 5"7

1:Virgin?: Yes. #waitingtillmarriagegang

2:Shoe size: Why are you buying me shoes?????

3:Do you smoke?: Absolutely not. Smoking = Murder (of both yourself and others)

4:Do you drink?: Ewww no.

5:Do you take drugs?: Ewwwwwww no.

6:Age you get mistaken for: Anywhere from 12 - 14 (I'll be sixteen in April; buy me a gift; preferably a books)

7:Have tattoos? No.

8:Want any tattoos?: I'm allergic to physical pain lol

9:Got any piercings? Did you not here about the physical pain???

10:Want any piercings? Hello! My allergy! Are you not paying any attention!?

11:Best friend? @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @writingwitch007, @lavenderimaginedher, @nyxxxxxxxx, @slowlyg0ld, @quickslvxr, @technically-bean, @just-another-godless-god (i can't ever remember you url correctly lol) and all the rest of my moots <3

12:Relationship status: Complicated....

13:Biggest turn ons: smiles, hyperfixations, dramaticness but maintaining the ability to be chill, bright eyes (not like color; theres something about certain people that makes there eyes bright), long hair (idkw)

14:Biggest turn offs: Hubris, being condescending, the stupid type of stupid like not cute stupid but mean stupid, fake people,

15:Favorite movie: Enola Holmes <3

16: I’ll love you if you are alive lol. As far as agape love is you breathing is enough. As far as philia/ludus is concerned be nice and funny

17:Someone you miss: A lot of people...

18: Most traumatic experience: The moment when i was 5 when i realized adults aren't perfect. 5 was way to young imo.

19:A fact about your personality: I'm loyal. You need to talk to someone im there.

20:What I hate most about myself: I have trouble focusing on things im uninterested in doing.

21:What I love most about myself: I know a lot about a lot. And I'm very passionate.

22:What I want to be when I get older: actor, youth pastor, author, poet, philosopher, revolutionary, essayist, traveler, director, playwright, theologian, historian, theorist. Any of those are fine by me.

23:My relationship with my sibling(s): On and off. Probably as good and bad as most other relationships.

24:My relationship with my parent(s): idk. sometimes it seems good sometimes i wish i was running away. and whenever i get upset with my parents i can't help but think of so many of my friends with even worse parental lives so idk.

25:My idea of a perfect date: I've never been on a date but i'd love candles, outide eating, talking, reading. Fairy Lights!!!

26:My biggest pet peeves: People saying im rude. Like the frick! You have no idea what I'm not saying and then you argue i say to much. (roll eyes emoji)

27:A description of the girl/boy I like: idk my relationship life is complicated at the moment lol. Most of the girls i've ever liked were funny, nice and had long brown or black hair.

28:A description of the person I dislike the most: i dislike a lot of people. All of them are cheaters and liars.

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend: I told him that his relationship with this girl would work.

30:What I hate the most about work/school: It's not taught correctly lol. When the school system has taught you that Shakespeare is boring you know you've done something wrong. The way Shakespeare was the Lin Manuel Miranda of the the 15 and 1600's. Also Greek mythology is basically the MCU and Roman Mythology is the DC universe lol. I've tangented a bit. The point is literature is cool (Jane Austen is hilarious) and history is anything but boring if only they were taught correctly.

31:What your last text message says: do dms count? if so: "hiiiiiiii [girl's name]" if not: "Got it. Good morning <3"

32:What words upset me the most: Basically anyone saying i need to "man up" or "control my emotions".

33:What words make me feel the best about myself: "i'm proud of you" "nobody's perfect" "you look amazing"

34:What I find attractive in women: Be honest, open, kind, funny, loyal, friendly, brave, beautiful (inside more than out), hopeful etc.

35:What I find attractive in men: I'm straight (nobody listen to anything @nyxxxxxxxx tells you) but I am a sucker for dark messy hair. Look up Timothée Hal Chalamet. oh my goshhhhhhh.

36:Where I would like to live: Somewhere beautiful. Simple as that.

37:One of my insecurities: Couldn't pick one so - my physical appearance, being imperfect, letting people down and i have huge anxiety about upsetting people or infringing on their boundries.

38:My childhood career choice: Pastor

39:My favorite ice cream flavor: Cookies and Creme; Starberry and Creme

40:Who wish I could be: Just me.

41:Where I want to be right now: Anywhere beautiful.

42:The last thing I ate: A valentine's day reese cup from my sister <3

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: idk my moots? Yall are wonderful lol

44:A random fact about anything: I'm a shipper in denial lol

[cozy-coffee-reads]

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

The lighting  thief

OH MY GOD!! What a banger of a book to start off a banger of a series. This and the rest of the books are middle grade so you gotta be aware of that when going into it. You could probably finish this book in two or three hours. But the actual Contant is so fun  and exciting. It does such a good job of describing characters and their personalities without giving you insight that would ruin later revelations. The world building in this is perfection. Theres no loopholes, it’s simple,clear, and incredibly engaging. The descriptions are detailed but not to the point where it’s boring. I literally could not think of a better way to start off the series. It is such a good book.

The sea of monsters

This book is funny, its action packed, it’s heartwarming, it’s filled with new characters, and very much a welcome addition to this book series.

After Percy’s adventure bringing peace to Olympus  and finding the lightning bolt and another year at another school he’s very excited to go back to camp. However, it’s immediately apparent that some thing is very very wrong. Someone has poisoned Thalia’s tree.  and to make matters go from bad to worse, Percy has a new brother, A cyclops named Tyson. This book follows Percy, Annabeth, and Grover, as they travel across the Sea of monsters to find the golden fleece that will save the camp.

The twist at the end is such a good set up for the next book, and could not have been more well done!

The Titans Curse

Literally loved The new characters in this book. I really enjoyed learning more about the hunters of Artemis, and the scene at the end with Zoe nightshade BROKE MY HEART!! Thalia is such a well written character and I so loved reading her in this book.

Percy Jackson received an urgent distress call from Grover, he prepares for Battle With Thalia and Annabeth and finds 2 half-bloods. Kronos prepared a trap for them, and they just fell right into it (quite literally in Annabeth’s Case). This entire book is revolved around finding Annabeth and artemis and  trying to escape the titans curse. It’s action packed and hilarious, a definite highlight of the series!

I really enjoyed the plot pacing in this one specially, i think that everything was very easy to follow (which i need in books). I enjoyed the jokes, i loved how unhinged percy jackson is, i loved the action, this was a joy to read!

 The battle of the labyrinth

This book is definitely more high stakes then the previous three and  tensions are definitely higher.  it’s the return of all of our favorite characters  with the same witty action packed  adventures we love.

With Percy’s track record at school he isn’t expecting high school orientation to be anywhere near peaceful. He’s proven right when demon cheerleaders, and a too smart mortal girl crash the party. But when he returns to camp he is greeted with much darker news: time is quickly running out as the war between The Olympians and Kronos  draws ever closer. Kronos prepares to attack Camp half-blood and in order to protect it, the gang must travel through the labyrinth, and find a way to hide the camp before it’s too late.

As much as I love this book, if somebody were to put a gun to my head and ask me what my least favorite book of Percy Jackson is, I’d probably say this one. Dont get me wrong, it’s a wonderfully well crafted story,It was fun to read, and wonderful set up to the final book. But in my opinion, it pales slightly to the others. I don’t know what it was about it,  but I just didn’t enjoy as much.

The Last Olympians

I said it once and I’ll say it 1 million times.

 if this book has 1 million fans, I’m a face in the crowd. if it has 100 fans im screaming at the top of my lungs. If it has one fan that fan is me. And if there’s no fans I’m dead. THIS IS THE BEST PERCY JACKSON BOOK!! (in my opinion)

Percy is trying to take a break from adventuring with his friend  Rachel (a mortal who sees through the mist) when Charles Beckendorf comes with a mission. They must destroy the Princess  Andromeda. The war gets closer and closer until there is an army on the edges if new york city. Percy, the entire camp, The hunter’s of Artemis, Grover and many nature spirits, along with lots of other friends. There is a plot twist at the end revealing the true  prophecy.

This book is so full of adventure and action and fighting. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of real humanity and heart. It was a beautiful, fun, exciting, and all around well written book. I was in a state of anticipation the entire time and it was bery much like reading the end of a marvel Movie.

READ THIS SERIES!! READ IT!!



[healertm]

posts my headcanons about high priestess lyra and her abilities and then disappears again (its a read but i promise its worth it, i worked v hard on developing this and i lurv it a lot)

ok so when deciding what kind of powrs i was gonna give her i knew i wanted them to be mental related. so like, all in your head kind of deal. so to name a few basic powers of hers -she can like make you hear shit,  put sounds in your head like whispers or the exact opposite very loud horrific screaming -kind of like phantom touch? so like non existent touches to a person that they can feel. not as much as a real touch but enough to make them agitated -my personal favorite: my take on dream walking so dream walking is where she’s basically at her prime. since the dream realm and the spirit realm are on the same hierarchical level in my eyes, and she draws most of her powers from spiritual and mental beings, she’s pretty fucking powerful in dream state. a downside is she never really feels truly rested because when she falls asleep her mind is still constantly working, its not really sleep. but she has her own little dream place she chills in

(its just a small open patch in a dense forest where the moonlight shines through, its always night there and the sky is v pretty, theres also a little creek and a few flowers she grew in her many nights there)

but dream walking allows her to invade other’s minds. it happens when, kind of like that rumor ppl say where if you think of someone hard enough before bed you’ll dream of them. yeah so that happens. so she can be in people’s dreams that way and manipulate them to a pretty massive extent.

(if multiple ppl think of her at once it kind of like fucks her up because she’s having to concentrate and focus on an endless number of possibilities in different scenarios. i would say she would be able to handle at most three. not like more than three people would ever think of her -sobs-).

so like she’s able to do things like will things into existence, altar something physically (like how wanda removed that dudes mouth) and the best part is that she’s always naked while doing it. bc witches are very much naturalists so it would make sense that in the place she’s most comfortable in, she would be nude. the whole “willing shit into existence” also works in terms of things like teleportation of sorts. so like for example if she wanted to teleport from a desk to a bed, by a very dumbed down explanation, she would think about sitting on the bed really hard. i mean like, what it would feel like to sit on the bed, what she would be looking at while she was sitting there, how she would be sitting, how the bed would sink under her, etc. like the most vivid description ever.

and the dream realm is also cool, i love developing it. so far i have this is how it works: so it can be anywhere, obviously, but the dreamer has to… basically know. so for example if you had a dream about your room, it could very much be your room. but this isnt just a normal dream, its like a freaky very lucid dream she can mess around with. so more often than not there’s situations where she’ll be in someone’s dream and something like a book will exist but it will be blank. because the dreamer doesn’t know exactly what is on the pages, they just know the book is there

alternatively if they forgot about the book it wouldn’t be there type deal

and it works kind of like render distance. so in cases of overactive imaginations, usually dreams are more filled and more realistic. but for others a dream may just be a room or a location in the middle of a fucking void.

she can also be in someone’s dream before they even fall asleep, if they’re actively thinking of her. she just kind of chills in their groovy little mind space until they fall asleep and end up there as well. most people’s mind space happens to be their room because it’s something they don’t have to think about really hard to know exists. it’s also where most people fall asleep at. but it varies from person to person and could just be a dark, ominous room empty of everything but a flickering light in the middle of it. (those people are often scary to deal with, and also really, really boring most of the time).

[unholyobsessions]

Sunset Coffee

Pairing: Julie x Luke

Description: Julie develops a crush on the cute barista, little does she know he feels the same way

Warnings: none i think

Word Count: 3.5k

Prompt for jatp week Day 2: Write an AU. Modern AU / Coffee Shop AU @jatp-week​

The bell above the door dings as Julie pushes it open. The smell of freshly brewed coffee fills her nostrils and she scrunches her face. She dislikes coffee, always has, too bitter for her taste, but she loves hot chocolate. Her mom used to make it for her at least twice a week and for a year after her mom’s passing, she made it her goal to find a coffee shop that made it as good as her mom did.

Sunset Coffee is a small shop in the corner of a small suburban neighborhood. It’s hidden behind the façade of a one story home, the only evidence of its existence being the small sign by the front lawn and on the door and the amazing yelp reviews left by their devoted customers.

Julie discovered it by accident. She was riding her bike around aimlessly through the city when she had the sudden urge to use the bathroom. Deciding to knock on the friendliest looking house, she was surprised to see the sign by the door. She went in carefully, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere created by the music playing softly in the background, and a number of college-looking students on their laptops or with textbooks opened around them. She went up to the island at the corner of the room, being used as a makeshift counter, and asked the barista on the other side if she could use their bathroom. The girl, looking no older than nineteen, smiled and pointed her in the correct direction.

Julie smiled back and rushed to the empty hallway, opening the door and walking in to do her business. She decides to stick around, going back to the counter and asking the question she has asked at dozens of other coffee shops.

“Do you sell hot chocolate?” The smile she receives in return answers her question. She stands by the counter as she waits for her drink, allowing her eyes to drift over the room. The walls are covered with different types of hand writing. Quotes from books, movies, or tv shows. Jokes, phone numbers, emails, and instagram handles. Theres a basket by the door, she notes, filled to the brim with different color markers, encouraging people to express themselves.

She receives her drink and she takes it, handing her the exact amount of change. She decides to explore the rest of the rooms, intrigued with the nice shop. The next room has couches instead of chairs and the walls are painted with chalk paint. There’s drawings, to-do lists, and so much more written on the walls. She smiles and takes the first sip of her drink. As soon as the liquid hit her tongue, she knows that she will never get a hot chocolate from anywhere else. It’s not quite the same as her mom’s but the difference is what makes it so good.

There’s a hint of cinnamon hidden behind the rich taste of chocolate and Julie finds herself closing her eyes, savoring the moment. She continues exploring, keeping a grasp of the mug. There is a total of four rooms. The entry one, the chalk one, one with bright red booths, mimicking an 80s looking diner, complete with a jukebox in the corner, and the last one that has normal black tables with gold accented walls. There are autographed picture frames of famous people who Julie assumes have visited the coffee shop hanging on the walls.

After finishing the drink, Julie places the mug in the sink by the corner meant for all used mugs and glasses. She bids goodbye to the barista and leaves, making note of the address and promising herself to be back soon. She went back two days later and has been there almost everyday. She goes after school, to do either her homework or work on some songs.

She looks up from her phone, ready to greet Flynn, who she became fast friends with and no longer has to even ask what she’s having, already having the drink prepped since seeing her pull up. She is however met by a male voice, welcoming her into the shop. Julie’s head snaps up to meet his eyes and she freezes. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen anyone as attractive as the man standing before her. She clears her throat and continues walking forward, already pulling out her wallet from her backpack. She hands him the exact amount needed as she always does and he merely raises an eyebrow.

“Umm what are you having?”

Julie gapes at him, feeling stupid for her actions. “Oh! Right. A hot chocolate please. Sorry, Flynn already knows what I order so it’s a force of habit.” The man chuckles and presses a few buttons on the cash register, taking the money from her and handing her the receipt a few seconds later.

“No worries, I normally work mornings but Flynn called in sick so I offered to come in today.” He walks back to make her drink and Julie stands awkwardly by, gripping the straps of her backpack. He turns back and hands her the cup with a smile. “So with Flynn knowing your drink I’m guessing you’re a regular?” He asks, hoping to start a conversation with the pretty girl.

“Yeah,” Julie looks down for a second. “I’m Julie.” She would have offered her hand for a handshake but considering her grip on the mug, she decides it’s a bad idea.

“I’m Luke.” He slightly bites his lip and Julie has to try her best not to swoon over him. She nods her head and takes a step back going to sit in one of the empty tables. She normally opts for the couches in the chalk room but for some reason (certainly not the attractive barista) she decides to stay in the front room today.

Luke Patterson’s parents have owned Sunset Coffee since he can remember. The quaint little house on a suburban street owned by his grandparents was left to his family after their passing. The decision to remodel came after his dad lost his job, and the extra house in his name left room for ideas. He remembers sitting with his parents at the kitchen table as they decided what to do with it and his small, seven-year-old voice, speaking his opinion.

“We can sell coffee!”

Of course Luke didn’t drink coffee, but he hears the compliments given to his father’s coffee every time they have company over. To him it’s just a bitter drink he had once but from what he’s seen and heard, it’s seen as a necessity by adults.

His parents were a bit skeptical at first but the idea grew on them and they got to work. His mother designed the rooms, taking inspiration from the internet and his father took care of the menu, trying different concoctions that would often be served with dinner, decaf for young Luke of course.

Once it opened, it took a while for people to notice the hidden gem but once they did, everyone loved it. Although not known by many, those who come once normally decide to keep coming, loving the atmosphere it holds.

He started working there when he turned sixteen. At first he took the afternoon shift since he was still in high school, but after graduating he much preferred working mornings, since that left all of his afternoon free to practice with his band.

He’s known his bandmates all of his life. Living next door to Bobby made them friends by default and when they started first grade, they were introduced to both Alex and Reggie and the four have been inseparable ever since. They formed Sunset Curve freshmen year, naming themselves after their designated hangout spot.

They’re always hanging around when Luke has a shift, which is why it is not surprising when they burst through the door of the coffee shop as he is distracted, staring at Julie. The yell of his name breaks his trance and he rolls his eyes at the sight that greets him.

Reggie is draped over Bobby’s back, eyes drooping shut, probably from staying up all night writing his beloved country songs. Alex is smiling lovingly down at his phone and Luke makes a mental note of to tease him about that later.

They make their way to Luke and he tells them to go wait for his shift to be over in the diner room and then they could discuss their next gig. He tries his best to usher them away quickly, knowing that he will find it easier to work up the nerve to talk to Julie without them in the same room. They eye him suspiciously but ultimately ignore his strange attitude, walking away and down the hallway.

As this happens, Julie is opening her laptop and slipping on her earphones, her Spotify is opened to her ‘You Can Do It’ playlist and she hopes that this will encourage her to actually write her Common App essay. She is consistently drinking from the mug, finishing her hot chocolate sooner than expected.

After his friends finally decide to leave him alone he looks back to the pretty girl, lost in the her own little word. He is shocked to find the empty mug already placed on the table, and he is sure he has never seen anyone drink a hot chocolate that fast. He makes the quick decision to make her another one because by the way she has settled into her seat, it looks like she is going to be here for a while.

A few minutes later, Julie is startled when Luke picks up the empty cup and places new warm beverage, complete with whipped cream on the top, in front of her. She slips off one earbud and turns to him.

“Oh I didn’t order another one,” which as she thinks back, is a pretty stupid thing to say because of course he knows that she didn’t order another one, considering the fact that she has not moved from her spot.

“I know, it’s on the house,” he smiles at her and Julie swears it’s like looking at the rising sun. So bright, but beautifully enchanting that it makes it impossible to look away.

“Thank you,” she says, slightly embarrassed because she doesn’t know if he’s flirting or if he is just being considerate.

Of course Luke is flirting with her, and he hopes to God it’s working. He wants to ask for her number, but as he spots her laptop and sees the screen he suddenly deflates. There is a list of prestigious colleges open next to her google doc filled with essay prompts. He however, barely graduated and is not even in community college as he waits for his band to make it big. He has never been insecure about his decisions, and is actually extremely proud of what the band has accomplished, but as he stands before this beautiful and obviously intelligent girl, he suddenly feels as if his accomplishments are not good enough.

So instead of asking her out as he originally planned to, he walks away. He continues to stare at her though, and if he starts asking Flynn to switch shifts with him more often then it’s merely a coincidence.

. . .

It takes a month of endless pining for his friends to finally attempt to knock some sense into him.

It’s the eighteenth time that Luke has asked Flynn to change shifts with him in order to see Julie and speak to her for a few minutes. Flynn definitely knows what’s going on, and knows full well that Luke’s crush is reciprocated because of her many late night phone calls with Julie. She, of course, doesn’t say anything, simply agreeing to take the morning shift, and sending a quick text to Julie telling her that her knight in shining armor will be working that day. This text normally leads to Julie clearing her schedule and going to the coffee shop if she wasn’t planning to already.

Their interactions normally go as follows:

Julie smiles. Luke smiles back. Luke makes the drink, and gives her a compliment. “I like your jacket.” Julie will blush and avert her eyes, speaking a soft “Thank you” before taking the drink and paying. If she’s feeling confident (normally caused by a good score on a test that day) she’ll compliment him back. “I like your t-shirt” which normally translates to ‘I listen to that band as well.’ Luke will grin and then Julie will walk away.

It drives them both crazy because this is how they actually want their interactions to go:

Julie smiles. Luke smiles back. Luke makes the drink and gives her a compliment. “You look beautiful today.” Julie thanks him and compliments him back with a teasing smile. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” She takes the drink and pays but before she can walk away Luke stops her. “Do you maybe want to go out sometime?” Julie internally screams but keeps her cool on the outside, not wanting to seem desperate. “Yes, definitely.” They look away bashfully and Julie takes the seat closest to the counter, keeping conversation with Luke for the rest of his shift.

It never happens and it annoys all the regulars who have picked up on their feelings for each other.

Today, Julie finds herself receiving a text from Flynn which is why she is now pedaling in the direction of Sunset Coffee. There is a nice, light wind that rustles her hair as she bikes across the city. She stops in front of her favorite place, kicking down the stand and placing the bike behind the fence. She smiles at Luke, who, as per usual, sends her a grin and a wave from behind the counter.

Alex, Reggie, and Bobby, sit on the table closest to Luke, sending him teasing smiles that cause him to blush. He turns to make Julie’s regular hot chocolate as she takes out the exact change from her wallet. They all eye the exchange, wondering if today will finally be the day one of them makes a move. They are disappointed to see the two exchange nothing more than shy smiles and thank you before Julie walks away and into another room.

Luke turns back to his friends, ready to continue their conversation about the gig on Saturday to find them all glaring at him. He quickly raises his hands up in defense, rushing out a “What?”

“You’re an idiot,” Alex says. Which is followed by “Agreed” and “I second that” by both Reggie and Bobby respectively.

“You’ve been in love with her since the second you laid eyes on her. Even Reggie noticed and he is as oblivious as it gets,” Alex continues. Reggie points his finger in agreement, seemingly ignoring the dig at him.

Luke looks down at his feet, already embarrassed out how glaringly obvious he is. “It’s just,” he pauses and his friends wait patiently for him to gather his thoughts. “She’s too good for me. I mean she’s applying to universities right now and not just any random colleges, she’s going for the good ones, Ivys, UCs, that’s more than I ever did. I almost failed out of high school. I’m a knock-off Luke Hemmings doing nothing with his life.”

Insecure is not a trait anyone would normally use to describe Luke. Cocky, passionate, attractive? Sure, but never insecure. They’re all even more surprised at his reasons for not asking a girl out. He normally uses the band as a way to attract people to him, he’s never hidden it in shame.

“Luke you are literally one of the most talented people I have ever met,” Bobby starts. “Just because you crave success in something other than academics it doesn’t make you a failure. If she doesn’t realize how insanely amazing you are then she’s not the one and that’s that.” Luke looks up at him and he’s extremely glad that today is a slow day and the shop is basically empty because he’s almost sure he’s about to cry.

“Go ask her out man,” Reggie says.

“And if she says no then you can just go back to working mornings,” Alex offers. Luke throws a dirty dishrag at him and they all laugh. Luke then takes a deep breath and starts making another hot chocolate to take to Julie, almost sure that she is probably already done with hers.

He holds the drink carefully in his hands and makes his way down the hallway, finding her in the chalk wall room. She’s holding a pencil tight in her head and her eyes are closed. She’s tapping her foot at an even beat before suddenly stopping and writing something down. Her open laptop with a half done essay sits abandoned next to her.

Luke taps her shoulder, startling her out of her daze. She smiles up at him and it only widens once she sees the mug he’s carrying.

“I figured you might want another one,” he shrugs his shoulders as she takes it gratefully.

“You know, you don’t have to keep giving me free drinks,” she says before taking a long sip of the warm beverage.

Luke scratches the back of his neck gives himself a mental pep talk, taking a deep breath before speaking. “Well, if I’m being honest, I keep doing it trying to work up the courage to ask you out.” He fiddles with the apron tied around his waist and looks at her, trying to decipher what she’s thinking.

Julie doesn’t know what she’s thinking. The guy she has been simping over for a month just said he wants to ask her out, she focuses her energy on swallowing the sip she already had in her mouth without choking before looking up at him. She gets a sudden wave of confidence (she aced her calculus test) and she opens her mouth to speak. “And have you? Built up the courage I mean.”

She sends him a dazzling smile and Luke is sure that he is about to faint but he manages to keep his composure. “I sure hope so,” he mumbles under his breath before saying, “Julie will you like to go on a date with me?”

“I would love to.” They smile at each other before they both look away, suddenly bashful. “How about Saturday?” Julie suggests.

“Actually my band and I have a gig on Saturday,” Luke says slightly embarrassed but then he remembers what Bobby said and stands up straighter. “Actually, will you like to go? To the gig. It’s nothing big really, it’s in this club but it’s supposed to be really packed on Saturdays so we’re hoping it will be good exposure.”

Julie’s eyes widen in surprise, cursing Flynn for not telling her that Luke is in a band because it suddenly made him a hundred times more attractive. “Yes! Oh my gosh I would love to go. I love music, I’m actually applying to be a music major.” Now it’s Luke’s turn to be surprised.

“You play?” He sits down in front of her, his job suddenly forgotten, but he’s confident that one of the guys will take over if a customer comes in. They’ve seen him make orders enough times to know how to do it.

Julie nods. “The piano, my mom taught me when I was young and I fell in love with it. I don’t know what I want to do with it though so I’m hoping to double major in music and something else.”

Luke quickly realizes that his insecurities were completely misplaced. “That’s really cool. I play guitar and I’m the lead singer. Not that I’m bragging!” He is quick to defend himself, not wanting to seem overly confident and Julie giggles.

“When did you start playing?”

“My parents bought me an acoustic guitar when I was six, hoping that it would make me stop running around the house so much. They never expected their son to refuse to go to college to pursue his rock band though.” Luke shrugs at the end, his parents are supportive of him, they weren’t for a while but they came around and go to a lot of his gigs.

“I think it’s really admirable,” Julie says. Luke raises his eyebrows, a silent request for her to elaborate. “To be so passionate about something, to know what you want to do with that passion, and pursuing it no matter what.”

Luke knows he is blushing and is about to say something when Alex, Reggie, and Bobby, pop their heads into the room.

“Did you do it?”  “Did she say yes?” “Did you choke?” Are all questions his best friends ask. Luke sighs and shakes his head and Julie does her best to bite back a laugh.

“I did do it. She’s coming to the show on Saturday.” His friends cheer and Julie is unable to contain her laughter.

The guys all rush into the room and introduce themselves to Julie keeping her company as Luke goes back to work.

. . .

Julie goes to their show on Saturday, and every single one of their shows after that. And her decision to accept UCLA’s offer in April was definitely not influenced by her relationship with the cute barista.

[princecupcakee]

Park Bench | Reddie

Read on AO3

Rating: E

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 3,112

Chapter: 6/8

Past Chapters: Chapter 1 (AO3), Chapter 2 (AO3), Chapter 3 (AO3), Chapter 4 (AO3), Chapter 5 (AO3)

Next Chapter:

Summary: Recently divorced and ‘incapable of love’, Eddie Kaspbrak moves to Los Angeles for work and a small, small hope of a fresh start. Broken up and never dated again, Richie Tozier tries to get back into love with help from his love of music. Quickly meeting eyes and one concert later, they think that maybe love isn’t that bad. So they try it one more time.

Chapter 6: Eddie Kaspbrak Gets Hurt, Richie Tozier, Stan And Patty Uris, And Ben and Beverly Marsh Buy A Ring & Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon Plan A Leave

Tags/Warnings: Angst / Unhappy Ending / theres only one sex scene but this is explicit anyway / Bisexual Richie Tozier / Gay Eddie Kaspbrak / Post-Divorce / Implied/Referenced Cheating / Inspired By Remembering Sunday (All Time Low) / Inspired by The Book Ninja by Ali Berg / Implied/Referenced Child Abuse / Implied/Referenced Abuse / Implied/Referenced Manipulation

Tag-list: @richietoaster, @s-s-georgie, @mikeuris, @gazebobullshit, @that-weird-girls-blog, @tozierking, @thoughtfullyyoungduck, @s-onora, @bellarosewrites, @lermanslogan, @ambitiousskychild, @ghostnebula, @vanillaredvelvet, 

(Ask if you wanna be on the tag-list!!)

Chapter 6

Eddie Kaspbrak Gets Hurt

Richie was out getting… something (he didn’t tell Eddie), he said it would take a while. Which left Eddie in an uncomfortable state. He didn’t want it to happen again, he didn’t want to lose something as important as this.

~

“How could you do this? You cheated on me, Eddie! With a man! I thought you cared for me, you didn’t want to hurt me!”

“Myra, I’m sorry. It was a mistake-“

“How was that a mistake? You’ve been dating for three months, Eddie. And you just pass that off as a mistake?”

“None of that was supposed to happen, Myra! I didn’t know what I was doing!”

“The texts seem to say otherwise.”

“Fine!  Lets get a divorce!”

“What?”

“I’m done! I can’t do anything here. You’re always saying that I’m hurting you, then I’ll stop! This marriage was headed for doom the moment it happened.”

“Are you hearing yourself, Eddie? This is crazy! This is what that man has done to you!”

“None of that was him, it was me! I don’t want this marriage, I don’t want this life! I’m sorry, I know what I did was wrong and I should’ve just told you before this got out of hand, but I didn’t. So, I’m sorry. This is how we fix this.”

~

Eddie, feeling incapable of love, takes a safe seat on the couch. ‘What the hell am I doing here?’ He thinks to himself, bringing his face into his hands. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he’s been thinking about this the whole time. He’s been thinking of leaving, this whole time. He’s been so happy with Richie. Of course, he was. But his past is taunting him, following his every move and making him afraid.

He doesn’t want to hurt Richie. The best thing to do is to leave. Just as he did with Myra. That is how you fix it, right?

Fuck. He needed a drive. Now. Richie took his car out though, and talking to yourself at the train station isn’t a thing he would really want to do. Run. That’s it. Thats what he’ll do. He’s always been good at track; this should be fine. His mother wasn’t here to stop him this time.

So he put on his shoes and stepped out the door. It was never that cold in Los Angeles, people casually went out on runs. But when he bolts away from Richie’s place, ran straight onto the road with his eyes closed from pushing back tears then getting hit by a car, he thinks maybe running was a bad idea.

He woke up in a shaking ambulance. His eyes shut, he should’ve expected this. Its not like he hasn’t woken up in an ambulance before.  ‘I thought the point was to help people, I feel like I’m gonna throw up’ he thinks bitterly. He closes his eyes again, he didn’t need to be asked questions, or checked on, just needed time to think. ‘You wanted a drive now you got one’ his mind laughs at him. He was tired, but he did need to think. He could make a run for it, leave without a word. But that wouldn’t be fair to Richie, would it? He’d do anything to keep Richie. Keep him happy, keep him in his life, whichever he meant, it still fits his description. He could pick a fight. He was good at that. He cheated on his wife, he would know how to cause problems.

If Richie were to see him at the hospital, which was likely, he could pick a fight. A quick, simple, small fight that he would enlarge, ruining every smile he received since the divorce. He wants to deserve Richie. He needs it. But he can’t just be that person. Plus, Richie would find out sooner or later, that he’s truly incapable of not fucking up love. The love in his marriage wasn’t real. He tried to remember if he ever thought it was. Hell, if he fucked up a love he only created in his head, how could he be capable of real fucking thing? He knew it sounded stupid, but his heart felt like it was being thrown into an incinerator, maybe that meant it wasn’t.

Its too much for him to handle, thats easy to admit, but to admit to himself that he’s so in love would be a little harder. He knew where this was headed before it even started, he was too much of a mess. He shut his eyes tighter. Richie has the perfect job for him now, he’s got his friends, he’s got a place, he should be fine without Eddie. Eddie was just scared, and incapable, and destructive, and defensive, and nothing that Richie would need.

He promised himself that night, seeing Myra cry and beg for him to stay, that love was too much. That he couldn’t handle hurting someone like that.  He hurt his mother so much as a child, she would always say so after Eddie would leave the house for longer than she’d said to. Was she really hurt? Eddie couldn’t tell anymore, he just knew that she didn’t like it. Myra was mostly the same, was hurt when ever Eddie would do something that he wanted to without telling her first. Seemed as if most of what he wanted wasn’t allowed.

He knew that it was trauma. That it was built into his head that he’s always hurting people. But he’s still scared. Its one thing to know what happened, its another to know how to deal with it. Eddie didn’t know the latter. He’s been trying, really, but in the early hours of the morning, when Richie would be sound asleep beside him, he’d wonder if he hurt Richie. He probably would. So, the best plan would be to leave, where Richie could forget about him, and go on as if he never existed, maybe then he couldn’t hurt Richie.

So, when Richie sees him in the hospital, worried and almost in tears, his heart twists.

“Eddie, what happened? Are you okay?” Richie rushes, Beverly, Ben, Stan, and Patty following behind. Eddie doesn’t bother to ask why.

“I'm fine,” he says stubbornly.

“What happened to you?”

“I went out for a run, got hit by a car, I’m fine though.”

“You aren’t fine, you got hit by a car,” Richie says loudly. Eddie wonders if this hurt him.

“So? I’m still breathing, Richie.”

“You’re still- you’re still breathing? So? Your fucking hurt I thought you were a risk analyst!”

“What? So you’re gonna get mad at me for getting hurt? It was an accident, I can do everything just fine. We can go back now, I’m not in any pain,” Eddie waves off. He really was in pain though, a throbbing headache, his sides feeling like they’ve been stabbed.

“We’re not going back, you have to stay here and heal, from… that!” Richie gestures to Eddie in the hospital bed.

“You can’t just tell me to stay here, I’m fine, this is my body anyway.”

“You’re being a dick, man.”

“Do I look like I care?”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“You’re not doing shit!”

Silence followed after that, Richie with tears in his eyes and Eddie trying to hold his back. ‘This is how to fix it’  he reminds himself, turning his head to face away from Richie.

“Well… how can I do something?” Richie asks softly.

Another minute of silence, “You can’t,” Eddie chokes out, “can you please just leave?”

“Okay.”

~~~

Richie, seated on a hard cold chair in the hospital, tries to breathe. Calling him a dick was probably unnecessary, he was hurt after all. That was probably his fault. Yeah, he was trying to help Eddie but he wasn’t doing it right. He did feel as if he was a bit controlling. Thats always what Connor would say. Every time he asked him where he was going, who that girl he was with was, why he wouldn’t come home at night. He was controlling.

He should apologize, he really is in love with Eddie. Mike and Bill are in Eddie’s hospital room right now, he should just go in there. A normal apology might not do it. He grinned. Everything fits into place. He just hopes Eddie says ‘yes.’

Richie Tozier, Stan And Patty Uris, And Ben and Beverly Marsh Buy A Ring

“I’m horrified,” Richie mumbles walking into the store. They were buying a ring now. Richie’s plans all fitting into place.  He had told Eddie that he went out to buy something, though, he doubts Eddie was really listening. Patty, Stan, Ben, and Beverly were here with him, they were the only ones who knew about the proposal.

He had the perfect plan. He’d replay the day they first kissed. Well, without the date of course. And seeing Walter and Maddison. (He still wonders how to fill that gap.) Pulling Eddie out of bed to take him to a different restaurant with a similar view to the one before. He didn’t want Eddie to exactly notice his plan so a normal too-early-watch-the-sunrise breakfast would do. He would take Eddie out around town, anywhere the wind took them, by sundown, they would be back, seated on the bench a ring in Richie’s hand and one knee on the ground. He had checked the weather for that day, it was most likely to rain that night, which fit perfectly to his plans. And, if not, it would work either way.

Maybe he’d play a game again, ask Eddie to marry him as they talked. He was still debating that part since Eddie talked about his divorce to Richie that day. Well, he mentioned it. Eddie wouldn’t really tell him things. It wasn’t something he really liked to do. He told Richie nothing about his divorce, his family, it's almost like it didn’t happen. But it affected Eddie, Richie could tell that. It slightly worried Richie. Eddie wouldn’t really let him in. Anything about his past seems to be missing, something long gone and thrown away. If Eddie didn’t want to talk about it, that was fine, sometimes Richie just hoped he would tell him sometimes. Richie just hoped that he could help.

“Don’t worry about it, Richie,” Patty says, smiling.

A quick thank you to Patty, “remind me again how you know Eddie’s ring size?” He asks Beverly.

“I helped him look for rings when he got married.”

“Oh God that makes it worse. What if he doesn’t wanna get married anymore? Did his divorce suck? He didn’t tell me much about it-“

“Richie,” Stan says, walking over to a jeweler. Richie walks over to a different one with Bev.

“You should ask him yourself, Rich. About his divorce. All I really know is that he loves you,” Beverly smiles after asking to see three different rings (which Richie thought was a bit extra.)

“I guess thats… yeah, thats a better idea.”

“I know you’re doing this again but, I mean, I’m really believing in this one, I’ve known Eddie a long time.”

Richie appreciated the comment in silence. He believed in this too. “You’re marriage has been perfect, how?”

Beverly was surprised by the question, “I guess, love? It isn’t that easy to explain, and everything I’m going to say would be cheesy as fuck, but yeah, I guess love would be it.”

“You and Ben are such sappy assholes,” Richie laughs, earning a playful punch to the shoulder from Beverly.

“When are you proposing anyway?”

“Saturday,” he smiles confidently.

The jeweller brought up the box of rings set inside the glass box. Beverly had chosen three. Two golden bands with matching circular diamonds embedded into it, a pair of golden rings with three blue diamonds, and the third, a silver ring with a large square diamond in its centre. Richie hated the last one for sure. He debated it for a few minutes, the first pair or the second.

“I’d say the gold one with the blue ones,” Stan says, coming up behind them.

“Yeah,” Richie smiled, “could you carve something on the inside of that?”

“Of course,” the jeweler replied, “just write down what you want,” he pulled out a piece of paper that Richie was sure wasn’t there and wrote ‘R + E’ The jeweler then explained the prices and the ring in words Richie would only dream to understand.

He was buying a ring for Eddie. He was going to try proposing, he was going to ask Eddie to marry him. The thought alone made Richie’s heart race, but he smiled. This love is worth a shot. This would work. Eddie wouldn’t do want Connor did to him. Eddie is kind, and brave and caring, and everything Richie could ask for. Richie wondered if the cheesier something sounds, the more true it is. It seemed to fit the definition.

“Hey, Rich?” Stan says beside him. Bev was off somewhere with Ben now, Patty was looking at a few necklaces, leaving Richie and Stan together.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really proud of you man,” he pats Richie’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” he smiled fondly.

“I was worried about you, man. After… Connor, I didn’t think you’d want to keep with it.”

“Eddie’s really amazing.”

“I can tell,” he smiles.

“Don’t take him from me. If you got that hot shit, Mike, you could probably get Eddie too.”

“Who- who told you that?” Stan asked punching Richie’s arm.

“What is it with people punching me?” He rubs his arm exaggeratedly.

Stan laughed, “‘cause you’re a dick.”

His phone rang, echoing around the store, gaining looks. ‘Eds Spaghetti’ flashed on his screen. “hey!”

“Sir, I have Mr. Edward Kaspbrak’s phone with me and you were on the emergency dial. He is in the hospital,” the woman on the other line gave an address, and Richie shut his phone to head to the hospital.

Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon Plan A Leave

“Eddie, are you sure about this? This is the one time its working out for you, we both think so,” Mike says sympathetically gesturing to him and Bill.

“I’ve made enough fucking mistakes I don’t wanna keep fucking shit up.”

“B-but you aren’t!” Bill argues, he opens his mouth to say more but Eddie cuts him off.

“I will, Bill. You know me just as well as I do, I can’t do this,” it hurts when he says that. He’s about to burst into tears, he knows it, so he breathes slowly.

“I haven’t seen you this happy, Eddie. This is… new. This is something thats good for you,” Mike has always been rational. The one to make decisions and the one to ask for help. But Eddie doesn’t need help. He doesn’t want to change what he thinks, he doesn’t want to be persuaded away, leading to what he knows will happen.

Bill and Mike are talking again, but he doesn’t want to hear anything else. He tries not to blink, the tears will probably fall the second he does. ‘This isn’t a mistake’, he thinks. He wants to think. There’s nothing for him here, nothing that can fix him. He’s going back to New York City, he’ll find an apartment, he’ll go to work, thats all. At this point, he doubts he’ll fall in love again. Richie might. Richie will, he likes to think. Someone better than he is. Someone who can give Richie what he deserves.

Richie told him about Connor. All the things he did, all the horrible words he said. Eddie hated it. He only wishes he could be with Richie for that long, Connor just wasted it. Sometimes he would wonder if Connor regrets it (or if he could make Connor regret it) and wondered if that would happen to him. When he leaves, would he regret it? If he was being selfish, probably. But he was doing this for Richie. This would be good for him. This is how you fix things.

“I’m going to do it,” he whispers, “I don’t care if you don’t think this is a good idea, sometimes I don’t think it is. But thats just me wanting to make things worse. I’m going.”

The tears were bursting out now, but Mike and Bill didn’t move (as much as it hurt them to do so.) “You c-can change y-your mind, Eddie. Y-you can change. I th-think you already have,” Bill says softly.

Eddie just sits there, his breathing is still mostly still steady. People always said that, that you could change. And most people can. He knows he can. But the risk of hurting someone while still just trying to change. That in-between point where your still figuring out what and how to change from the way you were before to the way you want to be. There is always a risk. Nothing is ever easy. He learned that.

Richie is someone he didn’t want to hurt. He’s gone through being hurt before, and its effects were pretty clear. Eddie could do that, Eddie probably will. This was inescapable. If he couldn’t hold himself back then, how would he do it now? With the ‘power of love’? Love exists he’s sure of that, but what would it be able to do? What would it be able to fix?

When Eddie’s in tears, all his anger goes away. All of the fire inside of him leaves. All there is the pain it has left. “I wish I thought the same as you, Bill,” he weakly laughed.  

Bill and Mike didn’t protest anymore, knowing it would be useless. Eddie’s going to leave Los Angeles on Saturday, and there’s no stopping him. They wonder if there ever was a way to. But they doubt it.

[crackimagines]

Did someone say FLUFF?! Say no more, I gotcha! If it hasn’t been done yet, could you try something with Ashe and Lysithea with their fear of ghosts? It’d be funny to imagine him leaping into her tiny arms at the mere mention of a ghost 😝

I’ll tell ya this much, I’ve NEVER seen that done in any imagines blog yet.

I’m glad I have the honor of doing this, because well…

Thanks for the ask anon, I hope ya enjoy!

Post Writing Note: I was listening to the Outlast soundtrack as I wrote this and DAMN IT THAT WAS TOO FITTING, I was just as terrified writing this just as they were in this story ;-; oh god, i turned this fluff ask into a fucking horror story

—–

Things that go bump in the Monastery (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Ashe and Lysithea are at the library late at night, and hear something…

…Despite they’re the only two there.

—–

It was very late at the Monastery, yet the lights upstairs to the library were lit. Ashe shrugged and thought it was another student cramming for the upcoming exams. 

He had come to the library to read one of his favorite tales as a child, as embarrassing as it was to admit. 

When he entered the library, he heard it starting to rain outside, which made him sigh.

“Oh great, looks like I’m going to be here for a while…”

He continued inside and saw Lysithea reading a book, and sure enough, it was material related to their class.

“Oh, hello Lysithea.”

“Hm? Oh, hi Ashe. I didn’t think anyone would be up at this hour.”

“Same here. Need me to leave you be?”

“No, it’s fine. All I request is that you keep it down for a bit.”

“Sure thing.”

Ashe nodded and went towards the shelves to find one of the books he was looking for and-

CLUNK!

“…Ashe, I did not take you as the type to play idiotic jokes after a polite request.”

“Uh, what?”

When she glanced up from her book, she realized nothing around Ashe could’ve made that sound.

“Wha-…”

She looked behind her and saw a book fell onto the ground.

“Oh sorry. I thought you made that noise. I think someone forgot to put a book back up properly.”

Ashe shrugged and went over to the book to put it back up. As he went back to the shelf, they heard the same noise again, only from a different location.

Both of them stiffened up and waited, but the sound did not reappear. He slowly grabbed his book and quickly walked over to Lysithea.

“D-Do you mind if I sit next to you?” Ashe said, noticing that he was becoming more tense.

She grunted in response, but truthfully she was just as tense as he was.

Once he sat next to her, the air slowly began growing more intense. Not because they weren’t saying anything, but because that noise had starting appearing again.

“A-Ashe…I swear if you’re making that noise-”

“Why would I do that? More importantly, how?!”

“Hmph! Hang on a moment.” She got up from her chair and went towards the stairs.

“HEY, WHOEVER’S MAKING THAT NOISE KEEP IT DOWN!”

C R A C K !

Lightning immediately struck, scaring them almost to death, and at that moment, the candles went out.

Both Ashe and Lysithea screamed and fell to the floor.

“C-Crap, I can’t see!”

“Hang on!”

She casted a spell that acted as a floating light source, and now they were able to see. The room was far too dark for either of their liking.

They both made their way slowly to each other and started looking around.

“T-There’s…no ghosts here, right?” Ashe said shakily.

At the mention of ghosts, she immediately latched onto Ashe, shouting yet at the same time, holding onto him even tighter.

“D-DON’T SAY THAT! Ghosts c-can’t be at the monastery! I-It can’t be!”

CLUNK!

Both of them jumped, looking around for the source. It sounded like it came from behind this time.

“H-Hey…how about we head back to the dorms?” Lysithea asked.

“No need to ask twice…!” 

They both slowly backed up, trying not to make as much noise as possible.

Once they reached the stairs, Ashe started hanging onto Lysithea. Under normal circumstances, both of them would’ve been blushing messes, but Goddess knows THIS WASN’T NORMAL.

As they walked down, the noise from earlier became louder and louder. When they reached a corner, they hesitated for a moment before turning it, seeing an empty hallway with nothing but blackness in it.

Both had shivers down their spines and slowly began walking towards the next flight of stairs.

Neither of them dared to say anything, too afraid that they wouldn’t be able to hear anything if it snuck up on them.

C R A C K !

Another bolt of lightning struck, this time so close they could feel the building shake.

“AAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Ashe screamed out, and instinctively jumped. Lysithea managed to catch Ashe, and she was barely able to hold him. The light she casted went away as soon as she did, scaring both of them even further.

“H-Hey! C-Calm down! It’s just the-”

CREEAAAAAAK!

Both their eyes went wide, and slowly turned around. 

If it was a teacher or a guard reprimanding them, that they could take.

What they couldn’t take however, was the fact no door opened behind them, despite sounding so close.

Ashe got down back onto the ground, wanting to say sorry but couldn’t find the words. 

“A-A-A-Ashe…?!”

Her voice was shaking heavily, as if she were about to burst into tears.

Ashe held her hand tightly, in hopes that would help her feel better, but honestly? He felt like doing the same.

“U-Um…n-not to w-worry! I’ll protect you…!”

She held his arm with both of hers, and both quickly walked to the stairs not bothering to be discreet. 

Instead, they ran into something.

No, someone.

They fell to the floor and slowly looked up-

“ H e l l o ?“

(Ashe and Lysithea)

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

They immediately bolted for the opposite direction, tears coming out of both their faces, Ashe holding onto Lysithea’s arm.

At that moment, the figure pulled out a candle and lit it.

“Oh…I think I scared them. Brother, I think your experiments made 2 students run away in terror.”

Seteth came out of the room, and looked down the hallway.

“Is that who I was hearing? Hm, I must apologize to them once I find out who they are.”

Ashe kept dragging Lysithea, his pure adrenaline keeping his legs from giving out. He could tell she was slowing down, but like hell he was going to! He may not know her well, but he was not going to abandon her in this goddess-forsaken place!

When they were reaching the entrance, a candle lit aflame and they turned around. It made their heart lighten up a little, but there was no time to be lost.

“PROFESSOR BYLETH!” Ashe shouted.

“A-Ashe? Lysithea? What’s going on?!”

They both grabbed onto his arms, absolutely terrified.

“G-GHOST! THERE’S A GHOST UP THERE!” Lysithea said through tears. Ashe was saying something, but Byleth nor Sothis could make it out.

Byleth didn’t have the heart to tell them it was just Flayn and Seteth up there who were making that noise, and instead offered to comfort them.

“H-Hang on, why don’t you two sleep in my room?”

“ANYWHERE BUT HERE!” Ashe finally blurted out.

Byleth quickly nodded, and got an umbrella as they quickly ran back to the dorms.

Once they reached his room, he had them sleep on his bed, using his blanket and pillow. 

They all attempted to sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen.

Ashe and Lysithea almost died as far as they were concerned, and were hiding under their blankets lying extremely close to each other, eyes wide open. Byleth was on the floor with a mere sheet and a pillow, lying awake.

(Sothis) “…Being a therapist is under your job description, right?”

(Byleth) I am going to have some VERY stern words with those two.

For once, Byleth was the one to reprimand Seteth, and both him and Flayn apologized profusely to Ashe and Lysithea. 

Sothis knows they won’t be revisiting the library for a while.

…On the plus side, the two began hanging out more after that.

———

BONUS:

FLAYN-BUSTERS!

IF THERE’S SOMETHING STRANGE

IN YOUR ACADEMY

WHO YOU GON’ CALL?

FLAYN-BUSTERS!

IF THERES SOMETHING WEIRD

AND IT DONT LOOK GOOD

WHO YOU GON’ CALL?

[anotherwhumpblog]

I don't remeber if i ever wrote an introduction, so here goes.

My name is Pie but you can also call me Lara or Jer. I use any pronouns.

Ive been interested in whump since i was a small child, I think 4 or 5. I was one of those "gifted" kids who could read at a college level before starting school. My favorite books were always the ones where someone got hurt or sick.

I like whump because i find it relatable, and it helps me to cope with some things i went through.

Most people, i think, dont find whump relatable. A friend of mine said that most people didnt have a childhood anywhere near mine ^^" so here's a brief description of some of the things about me:

Im only 5 feet tall. Which is odd since my family is above average height and my brother is 6 foot and 15 years old. Most of the time when people point it out, i just laugh it off or say i dont know why im so small. But to be honest, its from malnourishment. My family was very very poor (we still are rather poor but not as bad as it was). I lived with my little brother and my mom, and my dad was very abusive and didnt live at home. I'm extremely lactose intolerant, and mom would make macaroni and cheese a lot because my brother really liked it. But I couldnt eat it, so i was forced to go hungry a lot. My mom also has become more and more abusive as I've gotten older, and stopped making meals for me altogether in my early teens, so i had to either cook for myself or live on chips. Which i did. Combine that with no milk, and you get me.

I have hundreds of scars. Most of them are knife wounds. Most of them have pretty cool stories, too, like the one where i was stabbed with a sword (i used to fence), and the one where i was shot with a paintball at point blank range (as in the barrel was right next to my skin).

I have chronic pain. Theres something wrong with my bones that causes them to ache and makes my joints occasionally give out. Ive also got the beginning stages of arthritis from sewing 10 hours a day when i was a teen.

I cant swim. I know how, but i get exhausted very easily and my arms and legs start hurting and then I start to sink. Its terrifying and embarrassing, so I just dont go in deep water. I still swim in the local river though haha.

I get sick easily because I'm allergic to pretty much anything that gives off pollen or spores. I get frequent bloody noses and respitory infections. My childhood house was also rotten with mold and mildew. I remember that if i pushed on the wall in my bedroom, I could actually move it a couple inches in, and the drywall would slide along the nails. We also had rats and ants.

I have difficulty remembering things, and my brain has actually blocked memories from me. Im in therapy because of this. It affects my short term memory too, and sometimes i get lost in the mall and stuff because I forget where im at and who im with.

I sleep on the floor, because I toss and turn from nightmares and got tired of falling off the bed. I do this in hotel rooms too, much to the concern of my friends. Yes i have a mattress, yes I'm comfy, yes i prefer it this way.

When i was 11 my mouth grew a second pair of upper inscisors for absolutely no reason and i had to have a set removed because they stuck out like a vampire and were causing problems with the rest of my teeth. The remaining set were also too pointy and i was constantly biting my lip by accident so the dentist filed them down. They had to sedate me for that and as a result i hate the dentist. I also had to have braces afterwards.

Those are the teeth they removed ^^"

I stutter really bad and have a lisp. I can keep it under control unless im really anxious. When im in a new setting, i cant talk at all. I have specific friends who I've given permission to talk for me, and im trying to learn asl.

I was sexually assaulted as a teenager, but that's the one thing i don't feel comfortable talking about.

So yea thats me!! If you have any questions go ahead and ask me them! I have a lot of stories about my life and telling them helps me heal. You'll see a lot of stuff on this blog that's similar to what i went through, but not all of it is that, I just really like whump in general. I don't really have any ""turn offs"" except for extreme medical inaccuracies like gallons of blood loss and stuff. i also sometimes reblog my art here too ^^"

Sorry this is so long

[yggdraunion-moved2]

questions meme! thanks for tagging me @mothclubs ^^ i fell asleep on doing it so many times...

> favorite snack: sometimes i go out for mango crepes near school. yummy

> favorite place to go on vacation: i just like going on vacation honestly! anywhere goes

> song that makes you dance immediately: shall we dance? (the len’en song). lives up to the name

> tea or coffee, what kind: both depending on my mood! tea is my comfort drink bc it reminds me of my friends... usually i get jasmine milk tea or matcha milk tea but its all good. when i get coffee its usually to stay up (even though tea also has caffeine. its the placebo effect babey) and usually i get a frappucino from this place near school! i don’t really like it when it’s too bitter so ^^;

> do you play an instrument: i know how to play the recorder flute but only technically. i wanna learn an instrument some day though, maybe make electronic music ><

> fav type of personality: tries to find humor from all around but knows when not to joke abt things! i think that is very epic of ppl

> favorite comedian: im gonna be honest i dont really know anyone. my friends are all expert clowns though

> gummy candy or chocolate: chocolate

> what did you want to be when you grew up: a writer! i still want to be a writer but also i want to make visual art... music... be psychologist... life is cool like that

> favorite physical features of yourself: my cheeks are so soft that before, i had people going to me specifically just to poke at them

> last time you watched a movie or tv show: i went out to watch spider man far  from home last week! it was pretty good i think taking into account that the mcu... is the mcu

> unpopular opinion: video games are literature!!!

> are you scared of bugs: no for the most part! if you are a flying cockroach dni tho

> cats or dogs: both... our school has a bunch of cats so i talk abt them more often but theyre both good

> does the description of your star sign match your personality: 50-50? i act like a fire sign yeah but i don't think i act like a sagittarius specifically + i dont have commitment issues id like to think

> sexiest person to you: dana zane va11halla dm me... i am in love with you

> cake or pie: pie! i only really like the cakes that don’t act like cakes... so cheesecake and uh. sans rival

> last time you read a whole book: last month, alice into the looking glass. i’m gonna finish the book thief today and then MAYBE start something else

> favorite junk food: i like chips! theres this honey butter flavor i like but most ppl think is weird... more for me

> do you like your height: it’s pretty good i think! i’m tall for someone over here but all of my friends from abroad can make fun of me for being short so it’s double jokes.

> apples or oranges: oranges

> favorite personality trait in someone: this is a repeat question but i would never pass up an excuse to lovemail. if u are a patient listener who doesnt make too big of a deal abt things love u

> do you like salad: yeah! as long as you don’t put mayo i’m good with it

> what person inspires you the most: just my friends in general tbh... also i aspire to be someone madoka kaname would be proud of. thats it really

> what song has made you cry? The Sea Where One’s Home Planet Reflects. i love touhou so much its unreal

tagging @swordmagdie @merrypanic @transboyklug @merchantsoft @slugmeatt and @boycoded for if you guys like answering this type of thing! love u

[theflowersofdoom]

gonna talk about my spooky side account lore bc its unabashedly my favorite

sam and his sibling max lost their parents to to the bringer when they were really young. they were freed from terror mountain when the hannah thing went down. sam had trouble adjusting and stayed in terror mountain for awhile while max eagerly went out into world. the two kept in constant contact, until max suddenly stopped replying after he traveled to the haunted woods. sam decided to leave for the haunted woods to look for his sibling, and had a pretty terrifying time of it until he met lonnie

lonnie is a ne’er-do-well grave robber squatting in an abandoned house in the middle of the haunted woods. he found a very afraid and confused sam stumbling around and took him in with the intention of using him to help in illegal activities. sam, being cut off form the world for 10000 yrs and being generally too trusting, enthusiastically goes along with him. the two run around causing trouble and eventually lonnie finds himself actually CARING about this  sweet bori

paix was born to a terrestrial aisha and alien aisha couple and was raised exclusively on the virupets space station. her childhood had a backdrop of constant and oppressive paranoia of sloth. her family had several connections with the resistance and as a result knew several ppl who either disappeared or were seriously negatively effected by the sloth empire. she even lived through the sloth takeover of virtupets, which while thankfully was relatively uneventful on the part of the station her family lived in, it was still pretty terrifying for 10-or-smth yr old. while all this died down when paix grow up to adult, her parents were still very protective, not allowing paix or her little sister to travel unsupervised and helicoptered pretty bad. paix prided her self in being very level headed, but then one of her only friends disappeared while tracking down a sloth aligned organization and is presumed dead, paix is absolutely devastated, and in the months following his disappearance she quietly takes a small, former resistance ship from a family friend. she intended on flying it to neo central and parking it somewhere visible where the authorities would find it and return it with her apology note sitting in the seat of the cockpit, meanwhile shes in faerieland or mystery island, she doesnt know where just anywhere she’ll figure it out when she gets there. 

what ACTUALLY happened was a little more dramatic than she intended

paix initially and rightfully doesnt trust lonnie much, but he IS nice enough to let her stay at his house after she  crashed into his back yard  (is this even his house? i looks like its been run down for a while). sam was amazed in meeting a real alien and paix liked him well enough, hes a very kind guy, but still the whole situation was suspect

she probably wouldnt have stayed for long if lonnie hadnt up and died on them

paix suspected murder, from what sam says lonnie wasnt the most liked person around, but its not like theres any laws this is the haunted woods. as far as sam knows lonnie doesnt have any family, he thinks once there was a sister mentioned but he didnt even get a first name. the only family sam had left was a missing sibling he had been trying to find for a year now. so paix helps sam bury him in the back yard

paix takes on a lot of the responsibilities, like get food and telling people that lonnie is in fact dead, he wont be bothering you anymore. she even starts helping sam in his attempts to track down his sibling (shes not super optimistic but its not like shes going to tell sam that). 

at first paix thinks that sam is just very, VERY upset. he hasnt been very tired and acting a little strange, but his friend just died in front of him, its not like she has any room to judge. but as time goes on, things seem increasingly off. theres breif moments where sam seems to be his old self, but more and more he seems confused. paix finds him standing in the middle of the hall, staring at the wall. theres times where sam doesnt remember where hes been or what he was doing just moments ago. paix goes to the attic to get sam, finding no one, only to remember that sam is asleep in the in the living room, and when she goes back down staris of course hes still there, passed out on the couch like he has been all day, why was she so sure there was someone in the attic

when it becomes clear that lonnies been possessing sam, paix has a weird mix of terror and relief, though its drowned out by how PISSED she is at lonnie. she yells at him in portuguese for WHILE before he explains that he really wasnt trying to hurt sam or steal his body or anything else paix is accusing him of, hes been trapped in the ghost zone since he died and nothing he did could get their attention (he had gotten SO CLOSE with paix, she seemed to almost hear him. paix remembers all the times she felt she was being watch or heard someone screaming and just shrugged it off as a side effect of the haunted woods) 

paix could absolutely kill him AGAIN when he goes on to explain that hes now stuck in sams body. she begrudgingly agrees to help lonnie not be stuck, using a ritual from one of the weird creepy books littered around the house. it works and paix is incredibly relieved to find that sam is alright, but then immediately un-relieved to feel someone standing behind her and turned around to find lonnies spooky ghost standing there, menacingly 

the tension was immediately broken as sam  scrambled up screaming YOURE ALIVE and attempting to tackle-hug lonnie only to go through him and crash into the wall

and after paix gives lonnie a peice of her mind and lonnie profusely apologizes to both her and sam, things fall back into normality. paix and sam have found ways to make a living without doing anything illegal. lonnie is somewhat weirder as a ghost, hes taken a liking to scaring the heck out of ppl and is back to being a menace, but he seems to be more sincere with sam and paix at least 

zaf generally doesnt like photos, meko probably caught them by surprise 

zaf was a unfortunate victim of one of the many sloth-aligned splinter groups, and while they have made an amazing recovery, they remember nothing before waking up in the hospital. they were told that they had been kidnapped and eventually were found and taken in by authorities before being treated and successfully reverted to the physiology of an average mutant kacheek. zaf knows theres more to the story that authorities and their friends arent telling them, and has vague memories, but zaf isnt sure if they want to remember them. they were told by their friends that they had been a zafara before, that they were kind and generous and everyone was devastated when they went missing. zaf, surrounded by people that they cant remember, felt incredibly guilty. they hear stories about themself that they cant remember or even relate to. they ask for descriptions of themself that dont feel like them, least not anymore. zaf looks at pictures of this person that doesnt even look like them, and they cant help but feel like that person isnt here anymore.

zaf distances themself and eventually leaves neo central, taking a job at a hotel in the haunted woods. they have trouble finding a place to stay, and on their way to look at yet another apartment, they mistakenly knock on the door of a spotted bori who has THE friendliest face theyve seen since they moved to the woods

the two talk until its dark out and sam insists they stay the night bc its not safe to be out are you kidding me its the haunted woods. paix, given her past, is suspicious before zaf mentions what happened to them and she straight up offers for them to stay indefinitely (good thing too bc sam was pretty confident the place they had been on their way to see was a scheme to murder people, which seemed way more alarming to zaf than it did sam)

it takes 3 days for zaf to meet lonnie bc hes busy being an ass, slamming doors and leaving creepy messages in the mirror, culminating into jump-scaring zaf in the hallway at 3 in the morning. paix had tried to warn them but its still a spooky ghost in your apartment. sam mentioned that lonnies body was buried in the back yard and zaf looked like they were about to cry. just two sweet kids living in a dilapidated old house thats haunted by their dead friend, whose body they had bury in the back

zaf seems to be the only one concerned about the skulls in the living room, and the strange books, all of which, at least the ones zaf can make sense of, contain what appears to be spells. they mentioned where they lived to their boss and some coworkers and all hell broke loose and zaf had to leave the premises. paix apologized and said that lonnie had a reputation with the hotel staff and it kind of extended to everyone esle in the house. lonnie zipped through the ceiling and stated that they had ALWAYS had it out for him even BEFORE he stole that golf cart and the two start up another argument and the initial point is lost. 

but even months afterward, zaf cant forget the the moment of panic in their former boss’s eyes when they mentioned the house

mini is a witch living in the woods. sam and the gang think shes their neighbor, but no one is really sure where she lives. she comes by the house every now and then. sam, paix, and zaf have invited her in but always stated that she cant come in. has started to come around more frequently after zaf showed her one of the book they had found, wondering if she could make any sense of it. usually cryptic mini straight up said it was incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands. the two have since working through the books to see if any of more of them had spell theorems that could ‘potentially warp the fabric of reality’ as mini had put it

[embroideried]

hey marjorie u should answer all of the identity asks, please

YOU GOT IT

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?not really! thats why i do it myself i guess

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.no offense but uhhhmmmm i kin heavily with tyl*r Jos*ph. thats what this question sounds like skgjfsklgjslkhj BUT I DO ACTUALLY RELATE TO HIM A LOT on the real hes genuinely the only person or character to come to mind 

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?actually yes! i love my name i didnt used to but. i do now its very pretty and unique

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?this. is a hard question i really dont know how to answer this

are you religious/spiritual?im not at that point in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs but i am more now than i was before thats for sure

do you care about your ethnicity?no im white. irish and british white. ireland is cool but like who cares

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? A CHRONOLOGICAL LIST OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL MUSIC OF MY LIFE (all of my absolute faves at some point):

evanescence

paramore/fall out boy/my chemical romance/panic! at the disco

the gazette

shinee

exo

infinite

marina and the diamonds

florence + the machine

the neighbourhood

twenty one pilots (not to be dramatic but i’ve never connected to a musical artist in more ways than i have with them)

are you an artist?yes. that was weird to say but yes i think so! i write and i do embroidery and i sew and draw and create all kinds of things so i think that would make me an artist!do you have a creed?thou shalt not ……………..be mean just to be mean

describe your ideal day date.That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold; all you need is a light jacket!

dog person or cat person?dog person but dont let that fool you…………i love me a good cat but i just love dogs very very much me having a dog is essential to my health

inside or outdoors?inside hoe i never go out!!!!!!! i enjoy the outdoors but ive never been outdoorsy

are you a musician?not currently but are we still starting a band??

five most influential books over your lifetime.the great gatsby, the no.6 novels, that disney channel star fanfiction video series i watched that inspired me to write zanessa fics at the tender age of 8, I LEFT THIS ONE UNFINISHED UUUUUUUUUUUUUH i dont know. the. dictionary. the guide to the legend of zelda twilight princess for the wii

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?no way! i would be similar for sure but the way you are is a combination of both nature and nurture nobody is immune to the environment they grew up in you would obviously be different if you were raised differently/in a different time/place

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?for the most part yes!! im my most genuine self i can be but of course theres gonna be some things about myself that are different in person. that goes with everyone im sure. but i think if my willingness to fill out these entire questionnares says anything about me then im pretty open about who i am/what i think/who i think i am and all that!!which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?im a ravenclaw!!!! im a witch!!!!!!!!!!!!

do you love easily?i can become acquainted with people very easily but making real connections isnt as easy! but i think the answer would still be yes. like i can say with 100% confidence that i love you and all my friends and my family and my dog and like. josh and tyler. and i loved all of you like very quickly not like within minutes but like it really took no time. i have a lot of love. i havent Romantically loved anyone that isnt one sided but i think that also happens pretty fast

how often would you want to see your family every year?this is a bad question because i dont know i see them all the time and on wednesday im gonna be away at school and i wont see them ever

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?i had to look this up but ive never touched anyone and telepathically communicated with them no but uh i HAVE sent the EXACT SAME MESSAGE/made the EXACT SAME JOKE at the EXACT SAME TIME as a few of my friends on multiple occasions like the kind of event that makes u literally scream

could you live as a hermit?no im not short enough

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?im a bi cis girl! the way i describe being bi is more of the “new” definition (being attracted to 2 or more genders) which some ppl argue that thats pan but pan is under the bi umbrella anyway and i feel like the pan label is too wide for me. i dunno. and i’ve had questions about my gender before but im comfortable the way i am and i dont find my gender identity too restrictive cuz gender is a myth anyway (doesnt that sound ridiculous next to my description of my sexuality what the fuck)

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?um. like. 3 honestly i get annoyed pretty easily sdkgjskg but NOT TO WORRY!!!!! if you were annoying me you’d know. moreso in person than here but really dont worry about it i almost didnt wanna answer this truthfully sjkdgjskgpick one of your favorite quotes.anyone from anywhere can do anything (and this is that. thank you)

[viralhottopics]

Tim Ferriss: Im a coyote, a merry prankster, a go-between

With a new book of tips from billionaires and world-class performers out now, the American self-help guru opens up about what motivates him

Tim Ferriss is one of our ages most influential self-help gurus. The 39-year-olds debut was the 2007 life-hacking bible, The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich, which was initially rejected by more than 20 publishers. He followed that with The 4-Hour Body and The 4-Hour Chef and his new book is another bestseller, Tools of Titans. In it, Ferriss distills the wisdom of 200 interviews with world-class performers such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Foxx and Malcolm Gladwell that were originally conducted for his podcast (now at more than 100 million downloads). Away from books, he has made a fortune as an angel investor in tech startups and holds a world record in tango.

Why do you think your approach to self-help has caught the imagination of so many people? Well, Id say its because Ive been more of an experimenter and human guinea pig than a writer. So Im positioning myself as someone who is doing all of the heavy lifting in the messy reality of the real world to bring back the CliffsNotes of what actually works for my readers. Im not the only person in the world whos ever done this, of course you have people such as Ben Franklin and more recently George Plimpton but usually in writing and journalism its for comedic effect. Im doing it because I want tactics and approaches that I can use. If I can find perhaps a non-obvious or less-known approach that saves people hundreds or thousands of hours then thats my drug of choice.

The guinea-pig description is a good one: you have ended up in hospital with your self-experimentation and for a long time you weighed your own faeces. Are you open to anything that could improve yourself? Just about, just about. Im very often described as a risk-taker and extreme, and there are a few examples of that, certainly in the physical experimentation. But for the most part Ive always viewed myself as a risk-mitigator first and foremost. Even if its, say, investing in early-stage technology and startups, which is really my main financial career or was for 10 years, with Uber and Facebook and Twitter and about 50 other companies. People view that as very dangerous and speculative, but Im always thinking about capping the downside. So I will consider everything but not do everything.

As an investor, you seem to have had phenomenal success predicting which companies were going to go huge. Why stop? Ive had a very good stretch with startup investing and I think its very important to know when to hold your chips. As poker players would say: I dont make my money by playing my hand, I make my money by sitting. Also right now its very challenging, because theres a surplus of fair-weather entrepreneurs and fair-weather investors, many of whom dont really know how to play the game well. To be effective in that environment, Id have had to effectively hire people to help or have become full time as a venture capitalist and that would have necessitated stopping doing other things such as writing.

You are now investing heavily in academic research into psychedelics. What do you hope to come out of that? One of these studies looks at how psilocybin can be used to treat depression that has not responded to any conventional treatment. And, for instance, I had latent anger issues for decades that affected a lot of parts of my life. After a two-day, medically supervised experience with, in this case, ayahuasca, 90% of those issues just disappeared and have not returned even three years later. The best analogy is having a software program debugged. I cant really describe it any other way.

If someone was looking for a quick, straightforward way to improve their life, what would you advise? Id recommend some type of very short meditation or mindfulness practice neither term of which Im in love with on a daily basis. And the daily is more important than the duration. That came up repeatedly in the interviews for the podcast, across more than 80% of these world-class performers, whether its someone such as Arnold Schwarzenegger or an elite athlete or otherwise. Youre helping to train yourself when it doesnt matter (ie, sitting on your couch or in bed in the morning for five to 20 minutes) to be less emotionally reactive. Throughout the day that helps you make better decisions or to respond with less anxiety or to be more effective when it does matter. When youre in the middle of, say, a negotiation or a debate or an uncomfortable conversation.

Where would you start with it? There are different ways you can do it: you could use an app such as Headspace, or a guided meditation such as the 2010 Smile Meditation by Tara Brach; that specific audio came up a few times.

Sleep is also a recurring feature of the interviews. What would you suggest for improving that? For sleep, I keep it pretty simple. Seth Roberts, who was a professor emeritus at UC Berkeley, recommended a cocktail before bed that is incredibly effective for about eight out of 10 people. I had insomnia my whole life and this is one of the things that helped fix it. Two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar, one tablespoon of raw honey and hot water, thats it. About 15 minutes before you go to bed.

You mention in the book that, despite your outward success, you suffered from depression in 2013. Why did you want to discuss that? Thats very important. Weve been talking about all these highlights and you guys have read my bio on the back of the book and it all sounds like rainbows and kittens 24/7 and high-fives riding unicorns. But lets talk about what a bad day really looks like, or a bad week or a bad month, because its not all just a trailer for a Disney movie. Theres a stigma very often with discussing these things and people feel unsuccessful or they think they will be unsuccessful or they will always be depressed and unhappy because its not discussed openly.

You made your name with The 4-Hour Workweek, but everyone says you work incredibly hard. Was that just an eye-catching title? The objective is not to have everyone in the world work four hours a week. Of course I get my balls busted endlessly for the title of the book and rightly so it sounds like an infomercial product that would be on at 3am but the objective is to maximise your hourly output. Then if you do that you have quite a few options on the table. You can work four hours a week and get 40 hours of results. Or for many people, they simply want a huge competitive advantage, where they can continue to work 80 hours a week but now theyre getting 800 hours of output per week versus their competition. And they can just lay waste to all of their competitors who are stopping to eat their lunch.

Who would be a dream guest on the podcast? Donald Trump? Sure, Id have Donald on the podcast. But there are other people Id say that immediately come to mind: Neil Gaiman, Oprah Winfrey and Tina Fey would be high on the list.

You ask your interviewees to name their spirit animal. Whats yours? Yeah, it was such a ludicrous conversation to have with everybody, but I got some great answers. My spirit animal is the coyote. If you take a look at trickster mythology, Native American traditions, the coyote is a merry prankster who is a go-between between worlds. That is grossly simplified, but I feel in a lot of respects that is my job. The coyote creates a lot of things, but he also makes mistakes and gets caught in traps. With all of my physical experimentation and adventures and misadventures thats a pretty accurate portrayal of what Im up to a lot of the time.

Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss is published by Vermillion (14.99). To order a copy for 12.74 go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99

Read more: http://ift.tt/2iVNC2m

from Tim Ferriss: Im a coyote, a merry prankster, a go-between