#theres not much else to this post

[sketchy--akechi]

an impossible dream

[musubiki]

danmarch 🐉💎

[anonymouscheeses]

Old sketch I decided to give line art and color. Will definitely NOT finish this but if I do thennnn iunno congrats on me finally finishing an abandoned sketch 😭

[turrondeluxe]

carajo posting (estan comiendo bembos)

[lesbaurinkos]

agent drake was so funny i miss her. like imagine ur crazygirl coworker is very clearly into women and very clearly repressing it for some illusion of a white picket fence life with her gayass boyfriend who u think is too normie for her and u think "i can help her out a little with unrepressing this" and so u tell her "Hey. You Like Women." but then the next day her girlbestfriend shows up and is like "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTY WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE HER AWAKENING WITH ME SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO WANT TO LEAVE ARCHIEKINS FOR ME" and u realize u have accidentally stumbled into something far messier than anticipated so u just dip. like toodles betty i could handle ur five layers of repression and ur serial killer genes but i Cannot get in the middle of whatever's happening between u and veronica. she was so funny for that

[mamawasatesttube]

tired: the bats are so weird and creepy and everyone else is always so normal compared to them!

wired: impulse started fidgeting so hard he just started vibrating and clipped halfway through the floor and part of helen's foot before he realized what he was doing. this is just a normal tuesday

inspired: superman, superboy, and supergirl are sitting together in midair having a mild-mannered midwestern discussion as to which of their nonpowered combatant friends has the most fucked-up looking bones. several of said friends are in the room and really wish they wouldn't do this

[divorcedfiddleford]

it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i think. i need to go for a drive and get myself a tasty beverage

[ganondoodle]

some die hard totk fans can be so annoying

you can like a game without jumping through hoops to justify why its bad writing and questionable choices are good actually, its ok to like things that arent the bestest most perfect thing

you can have your opinion and thats all well and fine but im tired of some people taking my posts as ground to debate me on bc they are 'objectively' more right than me despite their opinion too being based on their own interpretation and bias

i love ww and botw but im not acting like either is perfect, tetra/zelda being whitewashed suddendly when shes revealed to be royalty? bad, very bad actually; ganondorf only having a few lines right before you kill him to hint at there perhaps being more in his head than EVIL EVIL I AM EVIL ARGAGRGAHGHS? disappointing; (and so on and so forth) botw locking zelda away to be rescued yet again in the castle? not the greatest thing but at least it worked with the story and themes better than it did in totk; botw having that orientalist gerudo outfit that to this day is used to sexualize whatever chaarcter is put into it? not cool (as far as i know totk did away with that one at least); the gerudo design as a whole still being on the same level of not cool in botw as they were in oot- you get the point

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

[blincheeky]

Hello there! I’m a big fan of your art!! It’s so lovely!!! If it’s no problem for you, could you upload your “Fantastic Four (and Doom)” from your twitter? I love the shapes and the colors! If you don’t upload it, that’s cool too!

thank you so much! For sure!

[lakesbian]

so i blinked & accidentally wrote 2.4k words of alec analysis, content warning for extended discussion of child sexual abuse

i am actually like. genuinely surprised by how common of an alec opinion it is that people would probably feel more negatively about him if we had a chapter from the perspective of one of his victims or if we had more details on his life prior to the undersiders, because the idea goes directly counter to one of the core Things you have to get if you want to understand alec: much like taylor, you should take absolutely fucking nothing he says about himself at face value, because--also much like taylor--he is Absolutely Fucking Terrible at understanding himself!

and speaking of taylor, she is also absolutely fucking terrible at understanding alec. nearly all of the commentary we get on alec is from taylor’s point of view, and she’s frankly incredibly ungenerous towards him.

her very first thought about his childhood mentally classifies him as not being one of heartbreaker’s victims, and the pity she’s offering him wears out pretty quickly when he doesn’t speak about the abuse in terms she finds palatable--while she does secondarily recognize that living with heartbreaker impacted him on some level, she regards him primarily as someone who does Bad Things because he’s a Bad Coldhearted Person.

she and alec are fairly similar--they’re both people who have been abused, people who are remarkably desensitized to violence because they’ve been abused, they’re both people who have ended up on the same villain team where they regularly commit terrible acts of violence, and they’re both people who are terminally oblivious to their own emotions while they commit those acts of violence. their actions are both similarly horrifying from an outside viewpoint, but by sectioning alec’s actions off in her mind as being horrifying because he’s ontologically a bad person w/ no interiority or justifiable reasoning for his actions, she doesn’t have to face that her own actions are horrifying regardless of how she justifies them to herself. neat little compartmentalization trick! alec stabbed that guy to death with a fork because he’s a Bad Person, but when she used triumph as a bargaining chip by filling his lungs with bugs, it was for Understandable and Interiority-Having reasons, so she’s fine.

what this means is that nearly all of the commentary we get on alec is from the perspective of someone who has a very strong psychological incentive to avoid being fair to alec.

much of what taylor thinks about alec is blatantly irrational and wrong, and the fact that he (similarly emotionally oblivious wrt himself + probably entirely unaware she feels this way about him) never directly confronts her misconceptions means that we spend the entire book being told “hey, here are the reasons you should think alec sucks” without any alternate viewpoints to consider. i think that if we saw the worst things pre-undersiders alec did without the repressed way undersider alec describes them or taylor’s biased perspective obscuring what actually happened, most people would feel Really Fucking Bad for him!

even in the very first discussion of his childhood, it’s clear that taylor’s reading of the events is wrong--aside from the fact that she’s not classifying the kids as victims (girl what), there’s these lines from alec:

“[He] pushed my limits, made me do stuff that was dangerous, stuff that was hard on my conscience.”

“I had convinced myself I didn’t care about the people I was hurting or about this guy I’d just killed, and maybe I didn’t. Maybe I don’t, still. Dunno.“

taylor’s response to this is:

“He’d been made to do it, he’d been in fucked up circumstances with no real moral compass to go by, still a kid. The way he described it, though, it didn’t sit well with me. Cold blooded murder.“

that is not how he described it. 

1. he outright says that what he was forced to do was “hard on his conscience”

2. he outright says that he “had convinced himself he didn’t care about the people he was hurting,” i.e he was a 10-13yo child being forced into extreme violence by his ridiculously abusive father & he naturally repressed his emotional reaction to it because there’s no other way to feasibly psychologically cope with feeling the full brunt of the emotions that induces. he’s not a Cold Blooded Bitch, he was a kid desperately convincing himself he didn’t care because he couldn’t care if he was going to survive.

3. yeah, he says “maybe i don’t [care], dunno.” this is because the 3+ years he spent learning to cram every emotional response he had to his abuse into a box & then solder-iron that box shut do not magically disappear the second he escapes from his father. it’s not at all unreasonable that taylor (also 15 and horribly emotionally repressed) misses this, but the “maybe” and “dunno” are indicators that he genuinely can’t tell whether or not he cares! as imp points out after he dies, it’s not that his emotions aren’t there at all, it’s that he has no ability to read them--much like taylor, he’s great at convincing himself of things regarding his feelings and then genuinely believing those things. he’s fifteen and has been out of his abusive home for all of 2.5 years--he’s not capable of grasping the full impacts that the abuse had on his psyche, and the way he describes everything from a detached perspective and waffles about on allowing himself interiority is a natural result of that.

if we saw this or any of the other murders alec was forced to commit as they were happening, we would not be feeling less generous towards him, we would be thinking “i want to beat heartbreaker to death with his own bones, because this is an evil thing to do to a child.”

okay, that’s the murder out of the way. now onto the significantly more controversial aspect of what alec did as a 10-13yo.

taylor generally regards alec as a special type of ontologically real & distinct class of person called a rapist. many people in the fandom share her viewpoint on that one. and, like, objectively true--he is a rapist, he raped people. but applying “rapist” as a descriptor meaning “evil piece of shit who sucks, but i guess he gets some leeway since he was a kid, but he still sucks and is bad and probably a sociopath” is massively flattening the circumstances under which he committed sexual violence & severely underestimating how it impacted his psyche.

taylor--and again, most other people in the fandom--tend to unilaterally go “gross and fucked up, he sucks, moving on” during bits where alec discusses that aspect of his childhood. but if we actually pause to read between the lines for the details and then address the actual context (which alec is not capable of doing, because 1. emotional repression to hell and back and 2. it was, as he said, normal to him), it becomes very clear that it’s unjustifiable to slap the “Sucks + Evil Predator” label on him and then move on feeling comforted by the straightforward moral judgement.

“’Sure,’ Alec drawled. In a more normal voice, he said, ‘But what I’m saying is he wouldn’t mind. Now, it’s been a little while, but there was a time when I had someone in my bed every night.’

‘When you were with Heartbreaker,’ I said. From the look of disgust on Aisha’s face, and what I imagined was a similar expression on my own, I suspected we were on the same page. At least on this one thing.

‘Sure. Cape groupies, my dad’s girls, people I used my powers on toward the end.’

There wasn’t even a trace of guilt or shame on his expression, no regret in his tone. He just looked bored.

He went on, ‘What I’m saying is that I’m speaking from experience.  Having someone cuddled up beside you, even if it’s a little bit of a pain in the ass, having that body contact isn’t so bad. Especially when you’ve had a bad day.’”

like, okay. let’s unpack all the implications there.

1. alec is bringing up this whole topic as an attempt at empathy--aisha is effectively saying “i’m pissy at taylor for being intimate w/ brian while he’s experiencing the worst pain of his life” and alec is effectively responding with “i support them, because when i was in similar circumstances, physical intimacy made me feel better.” it is extremely notable that he’s implicitly comparing brian’s “bad day” (getting fucking bonesawed!) to his own “bad day” (living with his dad)!

2. alec grew up in Emotional Neglect & Abuse: The Household. this is established in buzz 7.1--he recounts that there was zero attention paid to him & the other kids except for when heartbreaker was terrifying the shit out of them for either a perceived slight or in an attempt to force a trigger event. he also grew up in Sexual Abuse: The Household. as detailed in one WoG, the heartbroken were a massive group hiding out in significantly less massive houses--6-8 people sharing a room was common. alec was constantly in close quarters to normalized sexual abuse from the ages of zero to thirteen, e.g the memory mentioned in his interlude where he starts crying over not being given the TV remote and a sweaty, wearing-nothing-but-briefs heartbreaker stomps out of the bedroom to terrify alec for interrupting what was, very presumably, a marathon of sexual assault. exposing children to abuse happening in their environment is a form of abuse itself. there’s also the WoG in which this is mentioned:

“Look at it this way - at the age that many boys are raising an eyebrow at boobs, family members were saying 'hey, here are all the boobs you could want...’ Interested in dick? ... Dad's not that into it but a sister can hook you up. At an age when many are just figuring out enough of the world to ask 'what's heroin?' or 'what's weed?' he was given heroin and weed and everything else that was theoretically obtainable and told to only indulge if it was someone else's body. At an age when many are saying 'sex must be awesome' he was given free reign.”

which is sexual abuse! it is in fact exceedingly sexually abusive for alec’s father & older siblings to go “hey, 10-13yo son/little brother, i notice you are Hitting Puberty! here’s a fucking tidal wave of sex and drugs, have at it.” he didn’t magically get the idea to commit acts of physical violence w/o grooming & coercion from his family, and the same goes for the sexual violence. it’s not a hard extrapolation to make that after 10 years of isolation and abuse he leaps on the chance for physical intimacy, for something that actually makes him feel good when good is a feeling he’s never really gotten to have before--and how would he have a frame of reference for this being bad when his childhood was one long march of his own autonomy being violated + constantly seeing other peoples autonomy violated?

alec did not leave the house as a kid. alec Wasn’t Even Thirteen. the people he assaulted were victims, but he’s inarguably not the person with primary culpability for the assault--that would be the family members significantly older than alec who directly groomed him into hypersexual behavior, kidnapped + brainwashed victims also significantly older than alec, shoved them at alec, and said “have at it, buddy.” (which he, considering it to be normal and desperate for any positive attention or emotion, immediately adopted as a coping mechanism.) it would be absurd not to regard alec as a victim in this circumstance as well, and the fact that the way he was victimized led to him hurting people doesn’t change that. he was a chronically abused and manipulated preteen--he couldn’t issue meaningful consent or exercise any real autonomy in his decision-making. his lack of emotional reaction to casually sharing the story isn’t a moral failure, it’s an indicator of how badly the abuse skewed his perception of what’s normal.

and despite All Of That, taylor’s immediate reaction is to judge his lack of guilt, shame, or regret. which isn’t a wholly irrational reaction from her by any means--it makes complete sense given who she is and what information she has. but it does mean that the judgement we’re given on alec in this moment is nearly entirely detached from the material reality of what happened & how that reality should reasonably be regarded.

3. i think i’m literally the only person i’ve ever seen point this out--the first category of person he lists off as having slept with is “cape groupies.” as in, fans of capes. 

what kind of person do we suppose would be a fan of heartbreaker’s cult? what kind of person would have a thing for heartbreaker’s sexual abuse and mind control cult? the fact that he specifically mentions “cape groupies” means these were people who liked the heartbroken and were picked up by it voluntarily--what kind of person would want to sleep with one of heartbreaker’s barely-pubescent superpowered children?

yeah, that one sounds less like alec committing rape and more like heartbreaker providing access to his children to pedophiles w/ a Thing for the powers involved, presumably because it was a fantastic honeypot for people he could drain for money or otherwise use as a resource (which was his primary method of staying undercover & getting by). which alec parses as normal enough to casually slip into a random sentence.

alec’s childhood was not a lengthy tour of him committing sexual violence because he sucked, it was him being sexually abused, and a portion of that abuse included him being groomed to perpetuate it onto others. because that’s one of the Core Things about his character: he was a victim of grooming to perpetuate a cycle of abuse, he ran away from it at an impressively young age, and he spent the rest of his life making stumbling attempts to jerry-rig a distinct system of ethics & decision-making so that he wouldn’t be like his father.

no, the abuse he experienced & the way he responded to it wasn’t straight-forward or palatable. he’s not a stereotypical or idealized Good Victim--none of the traumatized teens in worm are. the specifics of what happened to him & what he did as a result are uncomfortable. he participated in hurting other people very badly. he still doesn’t really understand everything that was wrong with what happened. he doesn’t open himself up for pity or add caveats when discussing it to make it clear that he’s viewing his childhood the Right Way. he doesn’t feel or talk about it the way he’s “supposed” to. he doesn’t understand why or care that it upsets and disgusts people. the abuse left him with low to no empathy, and he’s not ashamed about admitting that.

and absolutely none of that changes that he’s still undeniably a victim, and if we saw any of the things that happened to him from the perspective of anyone involved, if we saw the abuse he experienced without the normalized lens he views it through or the villainizing lens taylor views it through--everyone would probably feel really fucking bad for him.

or in other words: alec vasil is a little boy whose life fucking sucks, and we all have to be nice to him, okay?

[toffeebeantable]

The owl house crew really went "this boy will keep his menacing cool first impression for one episode"

First entrance: Shoots out of water in a giant kickass fist after Eda says Luz could have gotten killed

Quotes: "That can still be arranged" while mask is literally steaming

Then the rest are:

Casually whistles the freaking show's theme on an errand run

Gets his ass rocketed away like team rocket

Accidentally falls off a rock ledge directly in front of the people he was spying on

Gets recognized by his annoying voice and then runs away only to get clowned on

Gets his sock stolen by some beast after failing to socialize with people his age then tries to run away from a 14 year old girl (I mean that's fair though in this context)

Gets his ass dragged down to the ground anyway and is literally bound up in vines terrified of middle schoolers (ok mostly the first one tho)

Walks out of the shadows intimidatingly (in his mind) in the most ugliest raggedy-assed lookin outfit ever and accidentally reveals his trash-pile home

Tries to look cool like the friends coming along was their idea but gets called the fuck out

[mueritos]

Hey Matteo, is there anyway I can be an anarchist from home? I dont have the means to do things like leave the house for too long so no protests. I know theres donating to certain places but I dont feel like Im doing enough

hi friend! first of all, being an anarchist doesn't necessarily mean youre gonna be out on the front lines throwing molotov cocktails or creating communes. being an anarchist, to me, is living life in the most anarchist way of de-centering hierarchy in your interpersonal and intrapersonal life/relationships, of honoring people's autonomy (and even their autonomy to make bad decisions or decisions we don't like), holding ourselves and our communities in transformative accountability, and to just live life as authentically as you can.

there is of course the political action aspect, but you must understand that everyone is at different points of their lives. when you're in community with people, you pick up the pieces people have left behind, you pick people up when they fall behind, and you shield them from harm and retaliation by fulfilling their needs. You can read as much theory as you want--from adrienne maree brown to karl marx--but you need lived experience and community to see how these theories play out and are informed by life. you can't be an anarchist without a community of folks who are willing to love you, protect you, and keep you accountable.

at the same time, i'm not here to shame anyone. i have certain thoughts about everything and how "allies" have been pushing marginalized communities to speak up. frankly, what I will say is I will never shame anyone for how they survive in this fucked up capitalistic white supremacist world. you are suffering daily oppression from all sides, I can't blame you for not doing much to inform yourself about daily atrocities because you can barely make your rent. but if you have the capacity and are willing to want to do more, just know that you are holding endless knowledge and historical memory of these moments that the world wants us to erase from history. do not forget. donate, share information, talk with your friends, and hold your marginalized communities closer than ever, but the best thing you can do is never forget.

at the same time, this goes for everyone really, but im not intent on pushing the most marginalized voices (BIPOC but especially Black voices) to speak on every atrocity ever when they're already struggling through their own. i've seen far too many BIPOC communities and advocates online be pushed into speaking when they're not ready or when theyre genuinely protecting their BIPOC folks from MORE zionist/white supremacist hate by making sure they respect their decisions to not speak pubicly. again, I don't intend to shame anyone for doing what they can to survive, ESPECIALLY BIPOC communities. It's atrocious that even now racism is still being used to villify BIPOC voices that are speaking in drafts, still processing their grief and emotions, and for pushing BIPOC voices who aren't even okay with speaking publicly due to fear of retailiation (because thats fucking happening!) at the same time, i do think white folk need to pick up the slack as usual and just get off of BIPOC folks' backs.

i hope this helped. long story short, don't shame people for surviving under oppression, do what you can with the capacity that you have, and hold your people close. I hope that helped and im happy to expand on more.

and as always, the anarchist library is the best resource around.

[turtletoria]

a mask of my own face

[fuckyeahagainstme]

I'm delighted to finally post what I've been working on lately! I've gone on youtube and downloaded a bunch of mp3s of various unstreamable songs then cut them down from the videos into individual songs with proper metadata + album art so you can just download them all in one place and throw them into wherever you play your music. Right now I have various EPs, demos, and singles, but I will be adding unreleased live songs and debut/early/alternative/etc versions of songs later on!

(Also as a fair warning, the early ones sound really rough, but it is what it is)