#theres something I've had on my mind for a minute that I wanna work on instead but I don't know if I have the technical skill to attempt it

[dr-wormman]

Got a little weird with this one since I've had mosaics on the mind

[loth-wolffe]

The warmth a cup of caf brings can also be given by the gentlest of souls.

Pairings: Cody x reader (no y/n)

Word count: 2,5k

Warnings: nONE. this is a tad bit sad. i mean. reader is feeling sad. it's not depression tho?? just more like, those kind of days where ur not feeling like yourself and just wanna lay down and distract yourself from the world and uh huh. yeah. so that's that.

A/n: sO. I've been feeling kind of uhg the past few days so i went and made this self indulgent fic to stop feeling so trashy. aND IT WORKED. I'm feeling like, at my 89% ish so we good (it was higher but. u know. tumblr) and tHERES so much to do!! gotta finish the ship requests and reply some stuff anD gotta read a lot of fics that I sort of missed these past days sO expect to see me reblogging the shit outta some gREAT fics in the next couple of days or so.

anyways, here's some soft cody for u and for me, enjoy while I go nUTS and try to catch up with like. everything<3

It was one of those days, Cody knew it as soon as he stepped into the apartment, he had the feeling back when you commed, your voice held this tone that he had begun to label it as something between "leave me alone" and "please stay".

It was those times you didn't feel at your best, somehow energy leaving your body as a battery that needed to charge, but it was those days there wasn't energy in anything else to make you back to your normal percentage.

No hot showers, not your favorite sweet, not even him could fix that.

Maybe a nap, maybe a few shed tears, maybe a distraction that could last enough for you to think about something else but the void you're currently feeling in your chest.

And it's not your fault, it's just something you feel and it's okay, he finds himself grateful for being around this time, be able to hold you, patch up those wounds in your soul that you don't let anyone but him see, and even if he knows they will bleed again, and again, and again, in an interminable loop of unknown heartbreak and deep sorrow that brings you down time and time again, he doesn't mind. He doesn't mind to be there to kiss your bruises and wipe your tears because you have done more for him, and you deserve it.

Cody's met by a silent house, the sound of the radio that usually greets him is nowhere to be heard, it looks empty, but he knows better.

The sun shines bright on your place, it looks it's normal self, big windows letting in the incandescent light from nature, and he smiles slightly when he finds a new picture frame with a photograph you took of the last time he was around.

He makes his way through the house, making sure to leave his uniform in the corner you cleaned for him, and takes a few extra minutes to water the plants, because he knows you probably forgot to do it yourself, before he makes his way to you, knuckles touching the cold steel in a couple of gentle knocks, he doesn't hear an answer but still enters anyways.

It's his room too, you had told him once, and yet he still felt like he should, sometimes feeling like an intruder in your safe space, not allowed to touch or to simply be around it without your consent.

Mere politeness, he had said. And you told him he shouldn't knock in his own home.

Home.

Cody didn't think too much about the word before he met you, but eventually that's what you became and that's what this is, not just a temporary place to stay when on Coruscant and you're not someone he's just seeing for a mutual benefit of releasing stress and pent up emotions.

This is a warmth that coats him whole, digs into his flesh in a tender grip. This feeling of peace, of serenity, of something palpable for him to find a reason to step into a shuttle and step out onto war. The knowledge that there's something here for him, someone who loves him, someone who waits for him, an anticipation of a future he might have thought about in the dead of the night, when no one could tell him he probably won't survive to see it through.

"Hey," he greets as soon as he finds you, curled in bed watching something you probably considered as comfort.

You turn to face him, the corners of your mouth twitching upwards in the smallest of movements and it's enough for him; Cody takes what you give him.

"Hey back," you murmur, it's a weak sound that makes his heart crumble in his chest, aching for you.

You don't go back to your movie, and instead make grabby hands at him that make his insides have this fuzzy feeling, a soft, little grin appearing into his lips and he shakes his head.

"Need a shower first, before I even consider to touch you." His voice holds an affection that drips from him and crawls into you.

His name falls from your lips in a whine, and he could make a remark of how needy you are but he holds back, it's not the best time, he knows as your eyes look at him with a sadness that tightens his throat.

Cody walks towards your side of the bed, sitting on the edge when you move enough for him to fit, the back of his fingers caress your cheek, and your eyes close with the touch.

"Hey," you say once again when your eyes meet and he leans down to place a kiss on your forehead, one that lingers more than it should have but the truth is that he had missed you, and he had missed touching you.

"Hey back," he repeats your words, and there's a small smile that lets him know he's winning the internal fight your mind is trying to hold against you.

He can't fix you, he knows, but he can try to make you feel at least a little bit better.

His lips find yours in a gentle touch, unhurried, delicate, as if you could break from the pressure, as if you had the time of the world.

Cody's hand finds your wrist as your palm fists into his shirt, and he doesn't know if it's for you to know you have something to hold on to, or for Cody to ground himself because he's back into your arms.

Soft lips are pressed back into your forehead as soon as you break your spell.

"I'll be right back."

The promise floats in the air for a few seconds before you nod, your hands holding each other until he's too far, a sigh leaves your lips and it's not as tired as it was before he came home.

And when the sound of the water running, you stop feeling so heavy, like a burden to your own self, just taking space.

Steam starts to leave from the half closed door, and the smell of his body wash begins to float through the air, until it lands on you. It's not long before he steps into your view, a loose pair of sweats hanging low on his waist, he gives you a dashing smile, curls falling everywhere and there's this little one that sits on his forehead.

"Something you like?" It's an attempt to calm your quivering heart, and it seems to work as it flutters for him.

It's mind blowing, what love does for you sometimes. How it can help you grow, a dying flower in a forest covered by ashes, with enough care and patience.

You give him a lazy smile, one that looks like it doesn't want to be there, not entirely forced, but not as easy as you must think it was, your head moves in the faintest of nods.

"Yes." He comes over to you, right after hanging the towel on the back of the chair of the little desk by the closet.

It's a hum that leaves him as he crawls the bed, and a little, almost soundless giggle leaves your lips when a droplet lands on your cheek from one of his dark curls.

It's the best he will get, it's a thought that crosses his mind, because the sinking feeling in your chest stops you from pushing him, and for a loud laugh to leave your lips as you complain about him never drying before joining you in bed.

"And what would that be?"

You don't even think twice before you answer.

"The prettiest commander in the GAR."

There's this gleam in his eyes that brings tears to your own. It's soft, a saccharine feeling that could be overwhelming if you weren't so deep into this, into him.

Cody holds a smirk that fails to hide the stream of emotions that floods with the whiskey of his iris.

And he wonders, he truly wonders how is he so lucky, the luckiest commander on the GAR, he could admit as he lays on top of you, because only you could find it in you to compliment him when he's the one who's supposed to make you feel better.

It's a mutual thing, he can hear you saying loudly in his head, you give, and you receive, and that's that, a benefited arrangement for both of your hearts; you take care of his, just as he takes care of yous. And that's what is unfolding right then and there.

He tries to love you, and you try to love him back.

"Sounds like a lucky bastard."

You laugh, light and delicate, and the feeling it brings him it's almost like the one he experiences when a battle is won. Pride swells his heart and he feels powerful enough to keep trying for you.

"Not as lucky as I am," you reply, fingers pushing a wet curl from his forehead that falls back on his skin as soon as you let it go.

He shakes his head, nose brushing with yours and he kisses you again, short and sweet, and it makes you feel less blue, less like a sinking ship and more like you're floating, him your life jacket that refuses to let you drown in the sea of misery you created for yourself.

And yet, he whispers a quiet "luckier."

There's a pause where you just enjoy the touch of your lips against each other's, a calmness settling in both of your bodies as you finally let your minds embrace the fact that Cody is home.

Your Cody.

"Can I hold you?"

But he doesn't know he already is, taking you in his arms as you swim back to the shore, away from a perdition you know your mind can overflow you with.

Still, he waits for your answer.

You nod once, a tiny movement that becomes the only confirmation he needs, he kisses you once more, his lips, petals of the softest of flower, brushing with yours.

And it's just a touch, of lips against lips, capturing your lower one in his just to feel it, remember it's taste once more because he can't get enough of it, of you.

He rolls to one side, and it's a second after that you're curling against him, his arms enveloping in a comforting way that makes you sigh in content.

After all, you had missed him as well.

"You're gonna get my pillow wet."

It's just a comment, one that makes his body shake with a faint laugh because even if it's that true, you don't move in the slightest, if anything, you hold him a little bit tighter, as if you wanted to merge with him, to feel him closer because you never seem to be close enough.

"Hope you don't mind."

You don't, not at the moment, not when he's trying like that to make your heart stop breaking for unknown reasons, not when you got him back after so long.

"No," you murmur, hiding your face on the crook of his neck in hopes to shield yourself from the world, "I don't."

He hums, eyes on the holo as the movie ends, the people gathered on the harbour as the moon hangs up wide and free in a starless sky, saying their goodbyes as a girl sings about having a dream, leaving with her partner on the smallest of boats and wander into the sea.

Cody sighs, leaving in a tiny boat in the middle of the night sounds like a bad idea, and he fails to understand why you like it so much.

Yet, he goes,

"I missed the whole movie." As his chin rests on the top of your head, you don't move to look at the holo as you hear the music from the credits start to play. "Want to play it from the beginning?"

"You sure?" you wonder, because you know how much he hates that movie, and you ask yourself if this is what life is: little sacrifices for those you love and from those who love you, to make sure the other is alright and it doesn't matter what happens to you.

Is it toxic, in any form, in any way? To walk to the lions den, through fire and chaos, and into the dragon's mouth for someone? Without thought, without nothing but faith and love. Blindfolded but not quite, because you know, you know what you're up against, shaky steps as you walk towards something, toward someone and they are not in a pedestal, but so close, so close you could get burnt if you touch, a dying star that still has so much to give, wild and unstoppable for now and you want to reach and burn with them.

With him, your Cody.

Is it wrong? To love someone so hard, with such rawness that you don't realize you're still falling, but there's the confidence, the knowing that they will be there to hold you when you land.

Does he love you that much?

Love you in the purest of forms, aching to the core, soak you with everything he has to give.

You do.

And it all summarizes back to this, into watching a two hour movie he despises, after a hard campaign that took a whole month for him to come back to you, muscles sore and tired and his answer is that he does too.

Because for you, anything.

He lets out a yeah in a breath, and squeezes you closer to his chest, you can hear the steady beating of the muscle he swears that beats only because of you, and you relax with the raising and falling of his breathing.

"Okay."

It takes you less than a minute to rewind the movie, the initial credits of the movie begin, a known title appears on you screen, and you move so he can hold you from behind, feeling his mouth millimeters away from your ear and he kisses the spot under.

There's this feeling lingering, a warmth that goes beyond the fact that his body wraps yours.

A warmth that comes close to the one that the caf brings you when you take the first gulp, one that starts from within you and runs through your body, from the core, to the extremities, growing slow, unbothered, a rising sun that lights up every fiber, every cell, and that wants to spread, thick and sweet, like the richest of honeys, and towards everything it can touch, but mostly him.

A warmth that's ignited by his love, and wants to go back to him, searching, expecting, needing him again, and he chugs it down without thinking, and the cycle starts once more.

"Cody?" he hums in response, "thank you."

"It's nothing."

And it's nothing for him because this is what he's supposed to do, how love is supposed to be, but is everything to you.

"I got you, baby," he promises. "For as long as you'll let me."

For eternity, it would be if you could.

The movie ended once again, but the room had shifted into something quieter, lighter, something only Cody could bring with his presence.

Sleep catches you slowly, falling in a slumber that washes away whatever feeling that still remained, mind soothing in the safeness of his arms, and you don't remember when was the last time you felt as loved as you did in that moment.

taglist: @foodandbooksplease @dottiechan @ladykatakuri @tacticalsparkles @lightning-wolffe @hellothere-generalangsty @beskarprincessjenny @badbatch-simp24 @milppa @obi-bae-kenobi @baroclinicinstability @murdertoothpick @ahsoka1 @kybacrystal @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @amaryllis23

you can join or leave the taglist ✨ here ✨

[lady-maracas]

Prompt list

HI! If you have a request, you can choose choose 2-3 prompts from this list.

Find my masterlist here.

What I write for:

Star Wars

Red Dead Redemption (1&2)

Hazbin Hotel

MCU/Marvel

Stardew Valley

(Or literally any other fandom I know)

I'm ok with smut, not my speciality tho...

Fluff Prompts

"You're the best first kiss I've ever had."

"You got me flowers?"

"Wait, you think I'm cute?"

"You're lucky that you're cute."

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile."

"It's better with you here."

"You're welcome to stay, if you want."

"I haven't laughed like this in a long time."

"Hold still. This might hurt a little."

"I just wanted to say thank you for protecting me."

"Is that my shirt?"

"You remembered?"

"Was that your first kiss?"

"You're the only thing that matters."

"Nope! Puppy dog eyes aren't going to work this time!

"Keep it. It looks better on you."

"You feel like home to me."

"You're so dumb!"

"You could punch me in the face and I'd still want you."

"You're driving me crazy here!"

"I've been worried sick! Where the hell were you?"

"Wait a minute. Are you jealous?"

"Don't ever do that again."

"Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..."

"I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

"Wanna dance?"

"YOU DID WHAT!?"

"If you die, I'm gonna kill you."

"You're not as funny as you think you are..."

"You were put on this Earth to give me a headache."

"You're ticklish?"

"You are a terrible influence."

"In my defence, I really wanted to."

"Just marry me already."

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"Can I braid your hair?"

"Don't worry, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Come here, and give me a goodnigt kiss."

"You're welcome to stay here for as long as you need."

"You know you love me."

Smut prompts

"I know for a fact that you can be a hell lot louder than that."

"Let me make you feel better."

"You're not the innocent little angel everyone thinks you are."

"You're playing hard to get?"

"I want to kiss every inch of you."

"I've been thinking about you all day."

"How badly do you want me?"

"I've never done something like this before."

"You look good like this."

"I won't bite. Unless you're into that sort of thing."

"I'm not wearing any underwear. Thought you'd like to know."

"Would you like to go somewhere a little more private?"

"Show me how much you missed me."

"You're such a tease."

"It's hot when you talk back."

"You know where to find me."

"Did I say you could stop?"

"You better watch your mouth."

"Come over here and make me."

"Use your words."

"We're in public, you know?"

"If we get caught, I'm blaming you."

"You sent me pictures of you naked while I was in a work meeting!"

"It's not my fault you keep turning me on."

"Come, sit."

"Tell me how it feels. It doesn't hurt does it?"

"I want you now."

"Can you feel what you're doing to me?"

"Each of my thoughts about you were improper."

"You wanna have sex with me?"

"Are you sure? Once I start I don't think I'm able to stop."

"I guess I'll just get off by myself,"

"Want help with that?"

"We're not just friends, you know that."

"Friends don't do this kind of shit!"

"You're naked aren't you?"

"Come to my room theres this ting I want to try-"

"I can't hold back anymore."

"Don't mind me, just enjoying the view."

"Make me yours."

Angst Prompts

"You think you know me, but the the truth is you don't."

"Going home isn't an option anymore."

"Do you wish I was different?"

"You deserve better than what you've got."

"I'm affraid of losing you, okay?"

"I know you probably hate me right now, and I get it."

"There's something you're not telling me."

"Why would I trust you again?"

"I think you expect too much from me."

"Don't start a fight you won't win."

"You've changed."

"This isn't worth crying over."

"Are you avoiding me?"

"I can't lose you again!"

"You didn't just break my heart, you broke my trust."

"I don't have the energy to fight with you anymore."

"I lost myself the day I lost you."

"You're the only mistake I don't regret."

"Thanks for the trauma, by the way."

"It would be better if you stayed away from me."

""I didn't realise I was such an inconvenience."

"I'd take our relationship back in a heartbeat."

"Don' go on that date"

"When was the last time you said you loved me and meant it?"

"Please, don't leave me."

"What is it about me that isn't good enough?"

"I don't need you to tell me who I am!"

"Will you even miss me at all?"

"All I wanted was a happy ending."

"You don't have to hide your tears from me."

"For once in your life, what do YOU want?"

"I was a fool for believing what you said."

"I know you're tired."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Are they really more important than me?"

"Stop acting like you were ever in love with me!"

"Do you ever think about anyone else than yourself?"

"You are so naive."

"I would risk everything for you."

"You know I still love you, right?"

[httpsaiki]

Hiya! I've been having this idea for awhile and if you could possibly convert my nonsense into a fic or headcanons somehow that would be poggers but I mainly wanna get it off my chest.

So Saiki meets reader at the market or whatever and theres like one coffee jelly that they both want but they just let Saiki have it. So what sets Saiki off the most about this person is that this person's mind is jumbled up so much all the time to the point where Saiki can only make out the super prominent thoughts like "I can just get pudding" and "what's with manz antenna?". Saiki started seeing this person more and more even at school. Long story short this person in the whole school, other than that one averagely normal guy, Saiki is actively trying to befriend (boyfriend)

,,,I'm sorry that was a lot. I watered this down as best as I could bc this is a whole saiki x oc thing in my head.

Hey! Genuinely, I adore this idea. Like, a lot! I’m sorry it’s so short, but I didn’t want to drag it out at all, and I thought it better to keep it shorter. That being said, thank you so much for this request! I hope I can live up to your Saiki x OC thing! 

—-

Reader is gender neutral!

WC: 726

Italics are Saiki “speaking” telepathically.

Reader and Kusuo have a small run in at the grocery store, something about their thoughts capture his attention.

—————————————————–

The past week had been busy as usual, between friends, family, and school, Saiki was really looking forward to his treat. A well-deserved trip to the grocery store to get himself some coffee jelly sounded just perfect. So, that’s exactly what he did. 

Entering the store, he made his way over to the bitter dessert, knowing the path as if it were the back of his hand. Noticing there was a final plastic cup that remained Saiki reached out, too concerned with looking forward to his snack to be concerned with anyone’s thoughts in the store.

That’s why it caught him so off guard when his hand landed on another. Saiki's eyes glance up in shock. Startled, he pulls his hand back and goes to apologize. He may have wanted the jelly, but your hand was there first. 

“You can have it.” Your voice cuts him off before he can give it to you. 

He looks at you questioningly, something is different about you. It isn’t long until he clues in that your thoughts seem to be going a mile a minute. Jumping from this to that, your mind seemed to be disorganized. It was nothing he hasn’t seen before, except, unlike most cases, he could still pick out a few prominent thoughts. He’d never met anyone who’s thoughts worked like that. It wasn’t a bad thing, in fact, some part of him found it oddly endearing. 

One of your thoughts caught him even more off guard than before. Suddenly, your thoughts shifted from what treat you’d by instead. Now you seemed ultra-focused on his appearance. Thoughts like, “What is with this guy's hair clips? They look kind of like antennas,” and, “Why are his glasses green? I want green glasses,” raced through your head. Saiki was good at keeping a straight face, but it was becoming increasingly harder for him. For some reason, you made him want to smile. 

It wasn't until you started thinking it strange that he had just been staring at you for the past little bit that he realized he forgot to reply. 

“Thank you.” He stated simply, earning a small smile from you. 

“Of course.” And you parted ways. 

Saiki didn’t think much of the encounter, heading home to enjoy his dessert and get his homework over with. As the weekend passed, he was quick to forget his encounter with you. It wasn’t like anything notable happened, you were just interesting. Okay, maybe he hadn’t forgotten at all. But he’s never going to see you again, so he forced himself to forget. 

Or so he thought. Lost in your own thoughts as you absentmindedly wandered through the halls of P.K. Academy, you never expected to bump into the pretty stranger from the supermarket - literally. 

“Sorr- it’s you!” 

Saiki blinked in surprise. “Me?”

“Yeah! Coffee jelly guy! I saw you at the supermarket, remember?”

Of course, he did. He wasn’t sure if he should admit it, though. Taking a quick glance into your thoughts, he saw they were similar to before. Jumping all about and moving too fast for him to properly read. It still left him just as interested as before (and just as confused as to why he’s interested).

“Right.” Saiki curtly nodded.

“We should have lunch together.” You offered. 

Truthfully, Saiki had already taken a small liking to you. Your jumbled and messy thoughts made you interesting, but not unpredictable like a certain someone he knows. You might actually make a decent friend. 

“Okay.”  He agreed, hearing the small celebration coming from your thoughts. He knew he’d enjoy this, even if he didn’t want to fully admit it. You would be fun to be around. 

He only saw you more and more often from there, often running into you in and out of school. Each and every time ended in the two of you spending time together. Saiki never truly minded and bad on more than one occasion purposely ran into you just to spend some time together.

You only got closer as time passed, getting to a point where you’d plan to meet up - Saiki had even asked a couple times. There weren’t many people he’d actively seek out, but needless to say, you and your jumbled thoughts captured him, and for once, he didn’t want to let go. 

He hoped maybe you could become more.

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Photographer // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

So I made a one-shot based off of the picture down here!

Word count ~ 3.1k

Summary - y/n is a celebrity photographer, and Matthew's birthday is coming up. This calls for a birthday shoot.

Ever since I was in sixth grade, I dreamed of being a photographer. But back then, I was just taking candid pictures of my cat (Peanut Butter), and random flowers that my mom had graciously planted for me. I really never planned on taking nice, professional pictures of people.

But here I was.

I went to 'California College of Arts' in San Francisco for 4 years. After that, I had a bit of trouble getting myself out there. I had a decent following on my instagram. People liked the pictures of my dog, and the pictures of nature that I took on my many travels. But likes and follows don't get you money, at least not enough. So I switched my focus onto more interesting things.

Advertising yourself as a photographer wasn't an easy task. You had to be ruthless, and be willing to get rejected and not back down. So I did what any semi-sane person would do.

I messaged over 50 celebrities asking of they wanted to do a shoot with me. I sent them my prices, and what kinds of shoots I was willing to do. I didn't have much hope for it, but it was worth a try.

And that's where it began.

Out of all of the messages, Andrew Lincoln, AKA Rick from The Walking Dead messaged me back.

*Hello Miss y/l/n! I've actually seen quite a few of your nature shots and I have always wondered how your photos would turn out with people. I would love to be your Guinea Pig.*

He sent me days he was available and I did his shoot. After posting his pictures, my popularity shot from there.

That was a few years ago, I was now taking photos for multiple celebrities. I was ultimately known for my black and white shoots. I had, in fact, just gotten done with a shoot of A.J. Cook. She had requested *me* to take her pictures for an up and coming article that was being written about her. I, of course, gratefully said yes, being a huge fan of hers, along with the whole Criminal Minds cast.

I emailed her all of the pictures I had taken, edited and all, while simultaneously posting them on my instagram.

It was mere hours later before a notification popped up on my phone of an email that I could not believe. Theres no way that he was emailing me, right?

*You have an Email from Matthew Gray Gubler*

*Hi there! I saw your shoot on AJ's instagram and my birthday is coming up. My manager wants me to do a birthday shoot, and we both like your black and white style. I know it's not usually the kind of thing you, birthdays, do but I figured it was worth a shot, and I think you have some real talent. Let me know when you are free next. I am on a break so my schedule is relatively flexible.*

I could safely say that it was a good thing that I lived alone because I don't think I have ever screamed louder into a pillow. Matthew has been one of my favorite celebrities for the longest time. If we were going to be completely honest, once I started watching Criminal Minds, I immediately had a crush on him. This wasn't exactly the profession to be in if you were going to have a celebrity crush. I was often invited to red carpets and movie premiers, so I met quite a few stars. I never thought I would have to worry about slipping up on my professionalism.

Because I never thought I would even meet him.

My obvious answer to his request was yes. I would never *ever* miss an opportunity to have a photoshoot with someone so inspiring and meaningful to me. So I started writing an email back.

*Hi Matthew!*

Should I address him like that? Is that unprofessional?

*Hi Mr. Gubler*

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

*Hi Matthew!* We are gonna stick with that. *I don't know if this is too short of a notice, but I actually have a free spot tomorrow. (Of course if that doesn't work for you, I can figure something out for later, and try to fit it in before your birthday). I have a few ideas for props that I can send you? Let me know how I can help.*

I sent it and ran my hands through my hair, tossing my phone back onto my comforter. I had taken pictures of so many awesome celebrities:

• Selena Gomez

• Robert Downey Jr.

• Dylan O'Brien

• Grant Gustin

• Holland Roden

• Danai Gurira

But this was by far the coolest one, in my mind at least.

While waiting a little to anxiously for a reply, I decided I was going to make myself some lunch, Ramen. I set my phone on the counter as I boiled my noodles, peering over at the blank screen every few seconds (but really they felt like **minutes**).

Just as I was adding the flavour packet to the bowl my phone buzzed. I jumped slightly, spilling part of the packet out of the bowl.

"Damnit." I quickly wiped the salt into the trash can and snatched my phone, seeing another email.

*Tomorrow is actually perfect, and I would love to hear your recommendations on props, clothes, anything really. I'm going to leave my number on this email so we can have easier contact of that's okay with you.*

Wow, alright. I will now have Matthew Gray Gublers number in my phone. I made a contact for him.

**It's y/n, soooo for props. I figured I could bake you a cake! I took a few baking electives in college so I could make a really nice one and we can do something with it. I recommend you bring clothes you like to wear that are black and white. (Other colors work too, but it just looks and flows better if it's black and white). I will set the rest of the stuff up. I will be ready for you by 1 pm if that's okay.**

*You would bake me a cake?! That would be super cool thank you! I would love that. I will bring a few black and white outfits. Would it be weird if I brought a black and white Kimono?*

A chance to see Matthew in a kimono? Please yes.

**Oh my gosh please do. I would love to take pictures of you in an infamous kimono of yours.**

*Awesome! I will see you tomorrow at 1. Heres my managers info for you to sell the billing to.*

He attatched his managers email. I just sat at my kitchens island, smiling like a true dork at my phone.

**And here is my address, I run the studio at my house. What is your favorite cake and icing by the way? :)**

Was a smiley face unprofessional?

I need to chill out.

*Vanilla cake and chocolate frosting possibly? I will eat anything though probably. :)*

Now I was really smiling at my phone like a psycho idiot.

**Alrighty, see you tomorrow**

Since I didn't want to wake up too early tomorrow, I decided I was going to start the cake tonight. I had quite a few recipes held in my cabinets. I located my vanilla cake recipe and put my pre-made chocolate frosting on the counter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about an hour of preparing, making a cake from scratch, and putting it in the oven. The cake was finally done and cooled. I added black cocoa to the frosting to make it completely black and got out my white gel.

*You made it 3 decades :)*

Was scrawled in calligraphy on the top of the cylindrical cake. I added white drips down the sides and white multi shaped sprinkles to the bottom part.

I set it in my fridge and got ready for bed. I know it's going to be hard to sleep just thinking about tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My alarm woke me up at 10 am, never before this had I woke up with a smile on my face before 12.

I took a quick shower and dressed in a white and blue floral romper with my hair in a high ponytail. Now it was time to set up backgrounds for the shoot.

I had two stations downstairs where I took all my photos. I set the first one up very normal with a white background and a rustic black stool. The second one was set up with another white background but littered with black streamers and big *30* black and white speckled balloons strung at the top.

Once I was done with all that. It was nearing 1. I slipped the cake out of the fridge and slid it onto my island. I glanced up at the clock above my stove.

*12:49*

Since I just had a little bit of time, I went a put some simple makeup on. I usually don't wear makeup when taking pictures of people, but for obvious reasons, I was making an exception.

Just as I was leaving my bathroom I heard a knock at my door. I walked swiftly to my door and opened it shakily.

"Hi!" He held up the clothes that were hung lazily over his arm. He smiled that million dollar smile and I could have sworn he looked me up and down.

Wishful thinking I guess.

"Welcome!" I stepped out of the doorway, silently inviting him in. "If you wanna set your stuff down, those stairs to the right lead you down the the studio."

"Thanks." He scurried down the stairs as I grabbed the cake and followed him down. I set it on a table that I had down there, he peered over at it and immediately burst into fits of laughter.

"I knew you had a sense of humor, so why put something normal and boring on the cake." I laughed with him as he tried to catch his breath.

"This is so perfect." He laughed a little more. "Thank you, so much." I shrugged with a smile. I posed him in front of the streamers with the cake.

He made some silly faces and smiled like there was no tomorrow. Next I brought him to the more plain station, sitting him on the stool. I looked through the lenses of the camera and glared a bit.

"Hey can you put your left leg up on the second peg of the stool?" I asked, pointing to his leg.

"This one?" He put it on the third. I shook my head. "This one?" He moved it down the the fourth. He was smiling a sly smile, seemingly challenging me.

"Let me do it for you." I had to pose people often, but posing him was going to be a little harder for me, considering I found him painfully attractive.

I moved his leg up to the second one and patted it.

"Now leave it there, so I don't have to help you again." I giggled, walking back to my camera. Taking a picture of him leaning forward on the stool and smiling. I then made him laugh and got a good genuine one of him leaning back and laughing. After all that, I proposed that we eat some cake and took a break.

I cut him a slice and handed it to him with a smile.

"So, tell me about yourself." He said, eating a bite of his cake.

"Well, I have always enjoyed photography. I love all types of art, so I also draw and paint often. And I have a black cat upstairs. His name is-" and I stopped, blood rushing to my cheeks. He is most certainly going to ask me the name, and I do not want to tell him.

He stared at me expectantly. "What is his name?" He motioned me to go on.

"Uh," I laughed a little awkwardly, setting my hands in my lap and staring at them. "His name is Spencer. As in Spencer Reid..." I glanced up at him and saw a huge grin break out on his face.

"So you like Criminal Minds? I never would have guessed. You just don't seem the type."

"Well all my memorabilia is in my room, just so people don't think I'm weird for having quite a few framed and signed posters." I smiled up at him, pushing around the remaining cake crumbs on my plate.

"One, That's not weird, that's awesome. Two, can I please meet Spencer and take pictures with him in my kimono."

I don't think I have ever heard a better sentence in my entire life.

"Yes, absolutely! I'll go get him." I clunked up the stairs on my search to find Spencer. I went to his usual spot first, my bed. Luckily he was sitting there, licking his outstretched foot. "Hi baby! You are about to take pictures with the guy you are named after. He almost as cute as you!" I grabbed him from the bed an headed back downstairs. I walked in with the accidental impeccable timing to see Matthew in his barely tied kimono, showing off his chest. My eyes widened a bit and he tied it off fully.

"Is this the famous Spencer?! He is so cute!" He reached his arms out at Spencer. My little fluff ball curled up into him instantly, cuddling into his silky kimono.

We took many many pictures of Spencer and Matthew together. I think maybe my cat likes him more than he likes me now.

"Okay, last idea. How about we just take some more up close pictures of me feeding you some cake?" It came put as a question because I didn't know how comfortable he would be with it.

"Perfect!" I cut another slice of the cake and brought it over to him. We were both sitting on the floor.

"This might be a little awkward, okay?" I giggled as I leaned back to get his whole face in the shot. This proved to be very difficult as I was using my left hand to take the picture. I fed him the cake with the right as he looked at the camera with a more seductive look. I could have melted into the floor.

I decided to switch hands so I could take the photos better, but now my very uncoordinated hand was the one picking up the cake. As I went down to get another section of the cake for another angle of feeding this sculpture of a man, I instead dipped my thumb right into the deep black frosting.

"Shit, I'm so sorry hold on." As I went to stand up and grab a napkin to wipe my thumb off, Matthew grabbed my wrist lightly.

"Hold on, uh, I have an idea, before you do anything." I sat down with a confused look. "I saw someone do this in another shoot. But we totally don't have to do it. I just thought it would be a different idea." His words were more rushed than usual.

"I'm sure I've done weirder things for other shoots, don't worry. It's *your* shoot." I reassured him, though my head was swimming wondering what he was going to do.

"Ok. So. What I'm going to do is put your thumb in my mouth, and I'm basically gonna, uh, suck on it while kinda smiling?" He could barely get through the whole thing without laughing.

"Alright, weird request but I like it!" I giggled for what seemed like the 30th time today. "And to make you feel better, yes, I have done weirder."

"Thank God."

"So I am guessing you want me to do something like this with the rest of my hand, ya know, the part that's not in your mouth." I stated as I placed my hand on his cheek. He let a slow breath out, staring into my eyes.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Okay." I said with a shrug, grabbing my camera from the ground. He opened his mouth with an all too familiar wide grin as I placed my thumb in. His mouth closed around it and he smiled, just a little. I brought my camera to my face, capturing the moment that I would have forever in my mind and in a small frame on my bedroom wall, for sure.

I slipped my thumb from his mouth and watched as his face turned extremely red. To save him embarrassment, I immediately stood up and grabbed a napkin to wipe the rest of the frosting off.

"Can I see it?" He motioned to the camera. I nodded, sitting down right beside him, showing him the picture. It showed off a closer look at the rose tattoos I had near my wrists and the shiny watch that was gifted to me by my mom. "It turned out good! I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Oh no! Of course not. Total opposite." As soon as I said that I regretted it.

"So that made you extremely comfortable?" A sly smile was making it's way onto his face.

"That's, that's not- You know what? Sure, yes." I chuckled. "You don't really make me uncomfortable at all to be honest. So no, you didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Well I'm glad." He smiled and we sat in silence for a moment.

"Well I guess that's it yeah?" He nodded. "Well this was fun. Thanks for being an excellent subject to take pictures of."

He gathered his stuff as we went back upstairs. Once at the door, Spencer came up to him, rubbing on his leg. He bent over to pet him.

"So, I'm not sure if you are single or not." I could feel the blood draining from my face. Was this really happening right now? "But I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date?"

Yes, this was happening right now.

"Really?" I could tell I sounded extremely excited, but at this point, I didn't even care.

"Yeah, you are super laid back, funny, talented, and you aren't scared away by how weird I am." He laughed, "So yes?"

"I would absolutely love to."

"Great. I'll text you." He winked and waved as he closed the door, leaving.

My back went against the door. I couldn't keep in the squeal so I just embraced it and squealed my heart out, doing a little dance.

Which was quickly ended when I heard a knock at the door.

"I'm sorry, I want to get to know you better immediately." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Are you free for the rest of the day?" I was sure that my face was red as a tomato.

"Yes I am." He grabbed my hand, dragging me outside.

"Then let's go."

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if 

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good,  the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

[urcharactersclasspect]

Another mage of light!

Funnily enough, I've been doing classpecting as a hobby for a bit now, too. Only reason i haven't made a blog for it myself is because i haven't really. Wanted to draw much attention, as you may understand. Sometimes, there are people you just don't want to draw to you. While I'm aware this may apply for this ask to you, i suppose however you take this ask is, in fact, your business.

Regardless, a rogue and seer of breath, knight of void, page of life, and a few unreadable others, so to speak, are in my circle for now. Although I've got a. Habit. Of reading for fictional characters that have no importance aside from what i feel i see them having, i suppose? Im sure you understand.

Honestly I would jokingly go for my mage of light supremacy joke and say others dont exist but I feel like this ask is way too on point characteristically for another mage of light or how i would address something that its almist unsettling to read it.

Yeah, I COMPLETELY understand that first part. Making this blog scared me shitless for that exact reason honestly and it still does for the same one. But I just kind of went for it and keep my head down when interacting with other blogs, Rather not draw in the wrong kinds of folks around here ir get too carried away with something I just consider something fun to do when I feel like it. So far so good. Overall really its just better to be disconnected about it as its just that, something fun to do and something to work the brain muscles with as a hyperfixation. But that took me a minute to push myself to think about and ya know, its always kinda hit or miss with things like that for mages of light socially or otherwise, so only make one yourself when and if you absolutely feel like doing it or like you really can. Idk ya but Id obviously rather you not give yourself a panick attack like I had the first attempt at creating a blog like this if its just not for you in particular or something you couldnt handle when weighing the pros and cons out for yourself and your own situation.

The struggle between wanting attention for cool ideas or stuff you might do and fearing it is always very strong when you have a mage of light classpect, so weighing it all out really is important as we both surely know. What conculsions ya get to is obviously on you though. I dont see many mages of light actually doing things like this-- and its definitely for that reason lol. We are hella conflicted usually, and we just tend to stay that way. Im obviously an outlierin action alone bc Ive kept it up but only because I decided I just wanted to go nucking futs one day and to me the pros outweigh my cons presently. Im sure youll get me here. When i say it might be a small decision to others to just make a fun little blog, bit for us its a possibility of getting too much attention and getting overwhelmed and failing contextually at something. It hits that light player pride hard.

Youve gotten an interesting circle there. I also have a Seer of Breath on my radar of people! I recomend you keep those breath players around, breath players are always great friends for Light players to have around in some compacity in my honest opinion. They always have a good energy about them. Although, Id be mindful of a Knight of Void, but also like I dont wanna scare you about your interpersonal relationships based on that alone. Void players can be just a little tricky to figure out on my end.

I also get that last thing there too. But its like- less important characters also deserve to be analyzed too. So i get why it would have pretty good appeal. Theres even more bread crumbs to follow and pick apart sometimes with those types of characters and that can make theorizing and concocting a classpect more of a challenge. But a good one nonetheless!

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

KiriDeku - Manliness

Requested by: @ride-the-bifrost

Kirishima and Deku found themselves alone in the common room one night, the girls who had previously been watching some movie having gone to bed just as the two arrived.

All of their things were still strewn around the room, them being too tired to pick them up, and Deku saw multiple nail polish containers placed around the small coffee table. He picked up the bright yellow one, studying it, and Kirishima spoke up as he sat down onto the floor.

"Wanna paint our nails?"

Dekus eyes widened a bit - he honestly had no problem with painting his nails, but he didnt want anyone to think he was weird for doing so. But - then again, Kirishima was asking him - the man obsessed with manliness. If he didn't care, then he shouldn't either.

"Sure... but I've never done it before, so I probably won't do any good."

Kirishima laughed, taking the yellow bottle from Dekus hand and motioning for him to put his hand on the table. "That's fine, I wasnt any good the first couple of times I did it either, but you'll get the hang of it. I'll show you."

He opened the bottle, and wiped off the excess paint on the side of the opening before beginning the painting process. Deku stared in astonishment, something so difficult sounding made to look so easy.

"Kirishima? Not to be.. rude, or anything. But arent you into manliness and all that? Isnt painting your nails kinda.. girly? Not that I think theres anything wrong with boys painting their nails! It's just society makes it seem like they shouldn't..."

Eijirou laughed, now starting the second coat as he responded. "I know, society's dumb sometimes, huh? But you know what I think manliness is? Not caring about societal norms, just being yourself and doing what makes you happy. So if you wanna paint your nails, go for it bro!"

Deku laughed softly at Kiris enthusiasm, even in something like painting nails, he still found himself admiring the red head.

"Alright, other hand now while this one dries. Then I'll do the top coat, then you can paint my nails."

The two conversed as Kirishima finished applying the yellow paint onto Dekus nails, talking about how their training was going and sharing stories about Bakugou. Soon, Kiri had finished the second coat and the top coat, and Deku frantically shook his hands in the air to dry them off faster.

"What color do you want?"

Kirishima hummed, and looked around the table seeing a variety of colors, from rainbow colors to black and to sparkles - but he settled on a simple red, causing Deku to laugh. He shoulda known.

Once Kiri decided that Dekus nails were dry enough to where if he accidentally touched something his nails wouldn't be ruined, he laid his hand out flat for Deku to begin the process.

"Make sure you get the whole nail, it's fine if you get it on my finger, just get the sides of the nail too."

"Ah, dont put that much - or itll make a bubble and dry weird"

He guided the green haired boy through the whole process, and albeit messy, it ended up being a thorough job.

"I'll take a shower in the morning, and itll scrub off all the excess. But good job dude!"

Deku beamed in delight, proud that he had managed to succeed. But then he remembered that they were using probably Mina or Momo's nail polish.

"Do you think they'll be okay that we used it?"

Kirishima waved his hand, nodding, "Of course, they wont mind at all, I've used Minas nail polish before and she didnt care."

They soon went their separate ways to their dorm rooms, Deku being painstakingly careful with his nails as he moved around. Even though they had been dry for a good 30 minutes now, he still didn't want to ruin all Kirishimas hard work. But hed get used to it soon.

[lobster-peach]

The Girls Bathroom

•••

Part 1

Part 2 -

This is a short story I wrote for my 10th grade creative writing class and I thought I'd share:)

*trigger warnings*

Eating disorders

Mental disorders

Drug/alcohol use

Violence

Child predator/abuse mention

Implied suicide

Another night without sleep. It’s growing less uncommon now. I’ve taken so many things to help me sleep, you’d be surprised that something hasn’t worked by now.

My window is open. I’ve always  liked it that way. It lets the night time air into my room, and it fills my lungs with the sweetest scent, that if it were bottled, I would keep it on me at all times. I’d be the girl people would ask what perfume I was wearing. I’d be the one they complimented. I’d be the one they talked to, in an admiring way. 

The smell reminds me of my childhood home. It reminds me of the smell of a thick and damp forest. It reminds me of the silent happy times. I let the night breeze create ripples in my curtains. 

And It’s peaceful. 

It’s peaceful to watch a force of nature calmly move something as simple as a sheer white window curtain to the beat of its own rhythm. To make it move like it’s dancing in water. 

I’m writing all my thoughts down again, like  I do every time my mind won’t sleep. I’ve noticed that everything feels so surreal at these times. Everything is quiet, the moon is the only light source in sight, the wind making the only other movement besides myself, and the world is still. I lay on my back and stare up at the ceiling, just stare and think about the world, and about life. Stress comes and goes at these times but it usually doesn’t stay that long.

 I think about my family, about myself, about strangers. I wonder if strangers do this too? Do they wear themselves out in the adventure we call curiosity?

I keep asking questions until I finally fall asleep to the sun peaking over the mountains. 

...

I haven’t been to school in weeks. I haven’t actually left my room in weeks either, if you’re not counting the trips to the bathroom. I feel like I've just been a whirlpool of emotions. One second I feel fine, and the next I feel like I’m in someone else’s body, wanting to scream. But today- today is the day I’m changing that. 

I get up, take a shower, and apply the minimum amount of makeup I actually have.

No one is awake in the house, so I slip out without a sound. 

If I’m honest, I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to go to school now, because the second I stepped through the glass doors, I was bombarded with shouts, shoves, and the smell of axe body spray. But right as I was about to turn around, get back into my car, and drive far, far away from this hell-hole, the vice principal noticed me. I saw the shock, and excitement light up in her eyes.

She made a b-line for me.

There was no escape. 

  ...

After an hour or so of sitting and listening to her gush about how much the school had missed me, and that if I "Ever needed anything to come talk to her, or any of the school faculty", I was able to leave her office. If I knew that I would get this bombarded with unwanted attention, I would have never left my house in the first place.

I would just dwell in the thought that I would have to make a living becoming a fast food worker, or selling my body to Sin City herself.

But that would still be better than this. 

...

The brick walls of the school seemed to piss me off even more than they used to now. They seemed to mock me, to make me feel like even more of a failure, with their posters of encouragement and activities. I headed into the girls bathroom to take a breather. Everything starting to kick in. I dashed into a stall and let my empty stomach empty itself even more. Nothing had actually happened to trigger any sort of panic, and I hated myself for it even more. I hated the fact that I couldn't be around people with no filters. I hated that I couldn't sit still in class. I hated that I couldn't just be normal. And now I'm just sitting on the floor trying not to think. But then I hear a knock, and a voice, gently, and quietly asking if I'm alright. My eyes widen. I don't know why I didn't think I would be the only one in a public highschool's girl's bathroom. Theres a part of me that hopes if I stay silent then whoever it was on the other side of the door would go away. But the voice comes back a second time. Still quiet, still gentle, but more urgent. Sounding like they were actually worried. Coming to the conclusion that I can't hide, I stand up and open the door to see one of the school's cheerleaders, Vanny. Her real name was Savannah, but everyone only ever called her Vanny. She looked as surprised as I was when she saw who was standing in front of her. 

    “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bother you. I just heard.. gagging, and I wanted to make sure that  whoever it was, was alri-”

I quickly cut her off.

    “It’s okay! Really!” 

Wow, I sound flustered. 

    “I just needed to let some things…uh… out.”

She let out a small breathy laugh at that. 

    “Yeah, I can tell.” she said

I can just feel the temperature in my cheeks raise at record breaking speed. My internal panic growing with it.

    “I- uh- sorry…”

God, I'm a mess.

She lets out another laugh at that, but this time something that looked somewhat like sympathy showed in her eyes.

    “Don’t be sorry. Really. I get it. It happens to me too.”

I gape at her a little.

But not so much that she would notice. Or at least I hope I so.

What on earth is happening.

But before I can even finish that thought, she's speaking again.

    “I haven’t seen you around all year.  I didn’t think about it that much till now. Do you wanna talk about it?”

She didn't wait for an answer and made her way into the handicap stall and sat against the wall. She just gestures for me to do the same. Part of me wonders if this was some kind of joke. If she had people outside the girls bathroom just waiting to torment me. But against my better judgement, I sit. I can't figure out how I am supposed to act, sit, or even breath. Is there even a right way to handle this?

She begins talking about her history with depression and anxiety. And normally when I hear someone say they have it, it’s not actually the “real deal” if you will. It’s just someone who thinks that it’s the end of the world when something unexpected and bad pops up in their life.

And I know it sounds terrible to judge a person like that, but it's just how things tend to be around here.

But she, she wasn’t like that. 

She tells me everything. How she can’t sleep at night, so she goes on drives. And how she finds that puking her guts out, nasty and as toxic as it seems, feels a little like a release. She tells me about her “friends” and how much she wishes that she could talk to them about everything that’s going on. She just tells me everything. Every feeling she gets. Every reason a tear sometimes slips from her brown eyes.

Everything.

I didn’t know that a person could feel the same way I did. I didn’t know that I could understand a stranger more than myself in just 30 minutes. 

These talks become a regular thing for us. After our second period classes, while the rest of the school left for lunch, we would go into the girls bathroom on the second floor. Into the handicap stall on the far right. And we would talk about everything.

    Vanny was kind. She held the door for me when we were together, she spoke to me like a real person rather than a joke, and she felt like home. There were days however, where she didn’t talk to me. She would send me apologetic glances from across the room so I tried not to think too much about it. I understood. She had a reputation to uphold. And I wasn’t apart of that. If I was, everyone would think of it as a joke. That she was just getting close to me to make fun of me. That was the part I worried about. 

I just wanted to mean something more to her than that. 

I just wanted a friend.

    Everyday that I spent with Vanny lead me into a deeper spiral of what I would call bliss. It was almost like, any trouble I had, any insecurity I had, she could instantly wash away with one look. 

...

I was stopped at an intersection driving home from school, when I noticed the people in the car in beside me were fighting. I didn’t want to invade their privacy, but then I noticed who was sat in the passenger seat. Vanny. The guy, was much older. Dark grey hair, and stubble across his chin. He had his hand on her thigh. I couldn’t see what his expression was clearly, but I had a pretty solid guess. Vanny looked very uncomfortable, she slapped his hand away and said something with her brows furrowed. The guy just laughed and put his hand back. She tried to push it away again but the guy wouldn’t budge. 

I decided to try calling her to make sure she was alright but the phone went straight to voicemail. I started to panic. I didn’t know what to do. I started to roll down the window and shout but the light finally changed to green and the car sped off. I wanted to change lanes and potentially follow them, but I couldn’t with all of the traffic of eager teeangers wanting to go home after a long day. I tried to try calling a few more times, but failed to get any sort of answer. 

My phone was hot from being pressed to my cheek for so long. I got home and the house was empty once again. This time though, my heart sank. I didn’t know who to ask about what I should do.

Me, in my panicked state decided to call the police.

I started blurting out everything that happened but it didn’t help. Without the guys name, plate number, or address, there was nothing they could do besides go to Vanny’s house and see if she was there and OK. 

    I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing with all of the possible things that could be happening right then to my Vanny.

No.

Not my Vanny.

Just Vanny.

I got a call from the police station just hours later. They told me she was safe at home and that I had no reason to worry.

Everything was fine.

...

    I still however rushed to school the next morning, calling and texting her trying to get some sort of insight to if she was really alright. I kept tapping my foot all through my first two periods. My mind couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than the thought of Vanny.

She needed to be okay.

What felt like years of waiting for that wretched bell to signal my release from this prison of unmatched bricks and books, it rang.

I all but ran to the second floor bathroom. And let me tell you, I have never been so happy to hear someone crying. I knocked on the door precisely six times to let her know it was me. I heard her shuffle and stand up. When the door unlocked I rushed in to hug her.

Her face was tear stained, but her eyes were empty.

We sat down and I held her.

Everything just felt... wrong.

I didn't know how to ask her what happened.

I didn't know if I even should.

She felt so fragile in my arms, that I was scared I would break her by saying anything else.

We sat in the bathroom in silence for the rest of the day.

I just let her cry.

At the end of the day I offered to take her home but she fervently said no.

I took her to my house instead, only so I could make sure she was safe.

...

The car ride home was quiet. I was waiting for the right time to ask her about what had happened but I still just didn't know how.

She had stopped crying hours ago but she kept the same empty look in her eyes.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, just staring at the passing houses.

Her brown hair falling over her shoulders like silk.

I finally spoke up.

"Savannah, what happened?"

She jumped at the sudden sound of my voice.

I couldn't tell if she was going to answer or start crying again.

She was so unreadable.

But her dry lips parted, and her voice rasped out.

"My..."

She breathed out, sounding so wounded.

I had pulled the car into an empty grocery store parking lot and faced her.

"My stepfather... tried t-to...."

She couldn't finish. Her eyes welled up again with tear and she broke.

Her face buried in her hands.

I didn't know what to say.

So many thoughts were racing through my head.

I couldn't speak.

I just stared at her completely horrified.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

She lifted her face and looked me in the eyes.

"Please don't tell anyone."

"Vanny we have to call the cops we-"

"No!" She yelled, I had never heard her yell.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone. Not your family, not any teachers, not the police."

She was urgently begging me.

"Vanny I can't just let this be. This is serious. He needs to be put in prison for this-"

"Please." She said once more.

"Please."

I looked at her.

Red, wide, eyes staring deep into my soul.

"I-I can't..."

...

I called the police once we got to my house explaining everything.

They got a warrant to search Vanny's stepdad's things and found digital folders of child pornography. They didn't have enough to charge him with the assault, but the files were enough to put him away.

When it happened, Vanny didn't speak to me for weeks.

She was convinced I had betrayed her.

But she eventually came back.

[withtheghostofblue]

theres so much that i want to tell you. i wanna tell you how I got all the scars. i wanna tell you why I flinch when someone comes near, why I don't like to tell people when things have gone wrong. you're the reason I keep going right now. that fucking scared. i wanted to tell you how I was fucking scared that I was gonna lose everything, that I was gonna lose myself. that I was gonna end up fucking everything up. that day you walked up and started talking about how you liked my hair color I was planning on ending it all. i have the notes. you had no idea how much that occupied my mind. that it distracted me. it kept my mind busy. since then you've done nothing but live in my mind. you don't mean to. but every time I don't hear from you I wonder what you're up to if you're safe. i wish I had the time to tell you about everything. i wish I could tell you how I wish I went deeper so that it would scar me because I was told earlier in life that I didn't go deep enough for it to count. i was scratching at my cuts and you realized and instead of yelling at me you put your hand there so I couldn't. you came to me that night not caring about what it meant for everything. you didn't care that you may get in trouble, you didn't care that I was a mess, you let me cry and just held me. you are the first person since my green that did this. i don't know how to handle this. I'm scared. scared that I'm going to lose you, scared that I've fallen too hard too fast. scared that once you find out about the shit I've been through that you arent gonna fucking want to deal with me. there will be times ill stop taking my meds just because I want to feel something. there will be days that I feel like I cant fucking get out of bed. that I cant move. there's been so many days that i called out of work because I couldn't function. i don't want to drag you down. i don't want to scare you. to hurt you. i get attached too fast. too fucking hard. you're addicting and you make me forget. forget that I hate my body, hate that I cant go three days without panic attacks and breaking down. i wish I wasn't like this. i know you don't like talking about things, neither do I. i cant tell you how many times that I needed you but I was scared to ask for you. i miss you already. i cant stop thinking about all the times I almost went through with it. how many times it should have worked but I'm not fucking sure why it didn't. i wish it did sometimes. i wish I didn't have to deal with everything. i wish that my head stopped spinning for more than like five minutes at a time. i wish my vision wasn't going shotty all the time. i wish that I wouldn't get up too fast and fucking almost pass out. i keep saying that I would sleep but I'm not gonna lie I stay awake just thinking. thinking about ways out. thinking how I can leave without hurting anyone anymore. i almost had it but you came into my life. i wasn't gonna let you get close, I didn't want you to get so fucking close. i just wanna be done with everything. I'm so tired, every time I close my eyes all I see is the dark from that night and the cuts and bruises. all I can hear is "up. now." and then "I'm sorry, you didn't really seem to hate it". i don't know what the fuck to do. i just want everything to stop. I'm so fucking tired all the time. i quit my job, I couldn't go somewhere where everyone knows of him. the fact he knew where I worked, the fact that he had the schedule. everything hurts and I don't wanna fucking be here. genuinely. it scares me. everything hurts a lot less when you're here. and that scares me even more. i don't know how I would say goodbye to you. i think it would break you're heart, and I cant see your pretty face cry. that's what scares me the most, you know? being responsible for your heart. I'm not good with things like this. hell, I cant take care of myself. let alone someone else. i worry about you so much, the fact you have a plan. the fact that at any moment I could lose you and that I couldn't do anything about it. I'm spiraling. i need to go.

[silverynightsoul-fearhasanewhome]

Annie96 Is Typing...

annie96: you asleep??

mcdavey: no.. guess you're not either :p

annie96: can't.. it's the wind.. sounds like cats fighting. whats your excuse? :p

mcdavey: studying :(

annie96: so that's what they call porn now? :p

mcdavey: annie wtf!!!

annie96: not denying it? :p

mcdavey: I still can't believe what johnny did today!!

annie96: me neither.. that boy has issues..

annie96: wtf the winds so loud.. that doesn't seem normal lol

mcdavey: No wind over here. Just rain.

annie96: Lucky you. i need my beauty sleep! :p

mcdavey: Damn right you do ;)

annie96: what? you mean i look

annie96: shit i think i heard footsteps on the gravel outside

mcdavey: Get your crazy dad to check it out :p

annie96: i'm home alone! the fam are on holiday remember? i told you this!

mcdavey: Really? Till when? We should hang out :D

annie96: they really sound like footsteps but theres something odd about them.. i should look out the window but my bed is so warm!

mcdavey: Sure you wanna look out the window when you're alone? What if there really is someone there in your garden, looking up at you? :p

annie96: NOT FUNNY DAVID

mcdavey: wow chill.. I'm sure it's nothing

annie96: gonna check brb

mcdavey: if there's something strange in your neighborhood

mcdavey: Who ya gonna call?

annie96: David theres someone in the garden!!!

mcdavey: What really?

annie96: YES, i can see a mans back...

mcdavey: What's he doing?

annie96: he's looking for something? on his hands and knees in the bushes...

mcdavey: haha he must be high.. probably looking for his drugs :p

annie96: david this is serious! what should i do??

mcdavey: nothing? He'll probably go away by himself :)

annie96: omg now he's digging with his bare hands.. he's ruining the garden!

annie96: shit hes turning around

mcdavey: What does he look like?

annie96: DAVID WTF THIS ISN'T FUNNY

mcdavey: What??

annie96: HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?

mcdavey: what are you talking about??

annie96: i can see you! in my garden! how are you writing here wihtout touching your phone? look up! i'm by the window can't you hear me banging on it?

mcdavey: Fuck annie now you're scaring me too.. I'm definitely not in your garden. That's not me.

annie96: STOP PLAYING AROUND. i can see your face. and youre wearing that stupid football jacket your so proud of!

mcdavey: It must be someone who looks like me.. honestly annie i'm at home. I wouldn't play around like that.. :)

annie96: it has to be a friend of yours david.. playing a sick prank.. how else could he be wearing your jacket??

mcdavey: there are loads of jackets like that! my friends don't look anything like me.. you just have me on your mind ;)

annie96: hes digging again

annie96: fucking leave already!!!

mcdavey: annie, do you have a gun in your house?

annie96: don't be stupid david. i couldn't shoot anyone.

mcdavey: you don't have to use it. just show that you're carrying.

annie96: doesn't that jacket have your name on the back?

mcdavey: yeah the team all got one with their name on

annie96: i can see your fucking name!!!

mcdavey: what

annie96: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DAVID

mcdavey: Annie that jackets in my closet...

annie96: FUCK HES SEEN ME

annie96: WHY IS HE SMILING LIKE THAT

annie96: HES COMING

mcdavey: CALL THE COPS!!!

mcdavey: ANNIE?!

mcdavey: ANNIE PICK UP

mcdavey: i've called the cops, told them theres a break-in attempt at your place. they said they're on their way but it'll take about half an hour

mcdavey: annie are you there?

annie96: its in the house. cant talk i have to be quiet. lights off. im in a closet with a knife. hard to type shaking too much

mcdavey: fuck fuck hang in there annie the police will be there in 20 mins.. do you know where he is?

annie96: IT. not he. the look it had when it saw me David.. no person could look like that..

mcdavey: jesus christ does it know where you are?

annie96: no i grabbed the knife when i saw it running toward the house and i got in the closet when i heard it breaking in

mcdavey: ok good you'll be fine.. a druggie doesn't have the brains to find someone hiding in the closet.. the police will be there soon!

annie96: oh god its calling out to me

annie96: it doesn't sound like you david

annie96: its voice is so deep

annie96: filling the house

annie96: filling my head

mcdavey: what is it saying

annie96: "come out annie."

annie96: "i just wanna look at you."

annie96: it keeps repeating that over and over

annie96: have I gone mad david?

annie96: is this what it feels like?

mcdavey: just 10 more minutes annie! keep it together! you are so strong you will get through this!

annie96: its coming up the stairs but so.. slowly.. irregular steps

annie96: why does it look like you david? why you??

mcdavey: i don't know annie!! please believe me

annie96: can you make it stop?

annie96: please make it stop?

mcdavey: i would if i could i promise you

annie96: its at the end of the hall

annie96: david i didn't say anything to my parents when they left

annie96: i was listening to music

annie96: is that the last time i see them?

mcdavey: annie

annie96: this has something to do with you david.. only you can make it stop.. think fast..

mcdavey: I DON'T KNOW ANNIE GOD PLEASE

annie96: please...

mcdavey: it might be... because i think about you so much

mcdavey: i think about you all the time

annie96: so stop.

mcdavey: i dont know how

annie96: its scraping something on the walls the walls getting closer.. please david..

mcdavey: im trying. i'm trying so hard

annie96: it's slowing down. Try harder.

annie96: Whatever you're doing, it's working.

annie96: it's stopped. I can't hear anything.

mcdavey: really?? don't go out yet! stay put until the police get there!

annie96: What should i tell them if he's gone?

mcdavey: EVERYTHING annie EVERYTHING you told me

annie96: I didn't know you felt that way about me, David :)

mcdavey: i'm so glad its stopped

annie96: Can you come over in the morning David? I really need to see you :)

mcdavey: of course annie i'll be there

annie96: Great! Can't wait!

mcdavey: annie...

mcdavey: annie how do i know this is you?

Annie96 went offline.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 8

A/N- Im sorry if this is bad! 😂

*Contains Defending Jacob spoilers*

When i finally got home later that day i ordered a pizza and decided to take a quick shower while i waited, knowing they usually take a good 45 minutes this time of night. Walking out of the bathroom 10 minutes later wrapped in a fluffy purple towel i passed the window in the hallway and spotted Andy sitting outside in his car. I walked to the bedroom and picked up my phone from the bedside cabinet and hit his number.

As it rang i walked over to the window and watched him staring at the phone in his hand for a few moments before answering.

"Hey" he finally answered.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah of course! Why wouldnt it be?"

"Well the fact your sitting outside my house....."

"Shit, sorry! I wasn't being weird i swear! Its just.....i should just go" he sighed shaking his head.

"You wanna come in for a minute?"

"I dont wanna interupt...."

"Your not its fine, let me just come down real quick and open the door....wait for me in the kitchen" i told him making my way downstairs.

"....okay" he finally agreed, I ended the call and quickly unlocked the door pulling it open just a crack before running back upstairs to get dressed.  I tossed my phone on the bed and grabbed my sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt. After towel drying my hair real quick i tied it up out the way and made my way down to see Andy.

When i walked into the kitchen Andy looked up and smiled at me, he was sat at my small kitchen table, his coat and suit jacket discarded on the empty chair beside him.

"Im sorry to just show up like this Y/N" he said shaking his head.

"Its fine don't worry about it"

"I don't even know how i ended up here....."

"Another shitty day?"

"Yeah" he scoffed "the kids aint talking, none of them knew anything. Most of them where more interested in the fact that i was Jacob Barbers dad"

"So no leads?"

"No. But Duffy found out there's a guy who lives near the park, Leonard Patz. Done for Indecent AB on a minor"

"Why didnt you know about him before?"

"Duff said he only moved to Newton in the last year. Never registered. One of the ADA's in the child abuse unit flagged him"

"What exactly did Patz do to this kid?"

"Grabbed the kids package at the public library, got out on a personal"

"He groped a kid and got out on a personal?" I asked wide eyed at the idea of this man walking free around town.

"Apparently there was some question about the kids testimony. Duffy also said we gotta keep in mind the Rifkin kid had no signs of sexual assault"

"But its something for you to look into, right? If your getting nowhere with the kids at school it makes sense that Patz is the next point of call"

"I just, i have to be careful how i play this one.... i told Duffy i needed to sleep on it. My heads all over the place"

"You want a coffee? Or i have beer?"

"I'll take a beer please" he gave me a tired smile.

I grabbed a couple beers and we went to sit in the living room, he sat on the sofa and let his head fall back with a contented sigh as he closed his eyes.

"Thank you for this Y/N, i always feel like i can relax with you. Everyones always expecting things from me you know? But you.... you just let me be myself"

"And your not yourself at home?"

"Not at all, not for a long time anyway" he replied lifting his head to take a mouthful of his beer "Laurie and I were talking about divorce before all this happened"

"Oh...." i was genuinely surprised to hear that and didn't know how to react to this new information!

"Im okay about it though, is that bad?"

"No, people get divorced all the time Andy"

"I know. Its kinda scary though, i've been with Laurie since college.... i think we got too comfortable.... we lost that spark"

"And theres no getting it back?"

"Im pretty sure that boat has sailed" he chuckled to himself "i will aways love her don't get me wrong im just...."

"Not IN love with her?"

"Yeah" he nodded looking a little sad that his marriage hadn't worked out "You ever been in love?" Andy asked cocking his head to the side and watching me closely.

"Me?.... um, yeah once" i nodded as i picked at the label on my beer bottle "college boyfriend, he was everything to me.... kinda sad looking back at it"

"What happened?"

"I caught him in bed with my best friend"

"Shit"

"Yeah, i cut all contact with the both of them after that. You wanna know the kicker? ...their still together with their second kid on the way"

"Im sorry to hear that"

"It happens" i shrugged "i haven't been in a relationship since. Guess i have some trust issues"

"And you and Frank?...."

"Me and Frank, right" i shook my head getting up from the sofa "i need another beer before talking about Frank, you want another?"

"Sure".

I sat on the opposite end of the sofa facing Andy when i returned with fresh beers.

"So whats the deal with Frank?" He asked but averted his eyes while he mentioned the other man in my life.

"We spent some time together" i shrugged feeling like an idiot for thinking i could do the whole casual/non exclusive thing.

"And your not anymore?"

"At the moment i don't think so"

"What happened if you don't mind me asking?"

"I was supposed to be meeting his friends yesterday but i told him i had to reschedule. With everything going on i wasn't feeling it you know? This morning when i was getting coffee i saw him with some blonde....we want different things i guess. I mean you warned me what Frank was like right?.... i thought i could do the casual thing.... turns out i'm not a fan so much"

"The guys an idiot.....Im sorry" Andy said keeping his eyes down on his beer bottle casually raising his eyebrows.

"No your not" i laughed shaking my head at him, it was written all over his face that he was pleased to hear this news.

"Your right i'm not" he finally looked up at me "your too good for him".

"Andy..."

"Im serious. You're something else....." he took a deep breath putting his now empty beer bottle on the table then turned to face me "i have to tell you something.... its been eating away at me for a while now"

"What is it?" I asked him putting my beer down and giving him my full attention.

"I remember what happened in Vermont.... the things i said... the kiss"

I was not expecting that!

"Oh...."

"Im sorry, i just didn't want things to get weird between us. I didn't want to loose you"

"Andy.... i..."

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss in the elevator Y/N. I cant stop thinking about how much i still wanna kiss you every damn time i see you!"

"We can't...."

"We can! Its okay to want this" he reached across and took my hand rubbing circles on the back of my hand "tell me you don't want it too and i'll leave right now and we can forget this happened".

I sat there staring at him shaking my head "i cant tell you that...".

Before i knew it Andy was pulling me into his lap and kissing me breathless. His hands slipping under my t-shirt caressing my back. My heart was racing as we finally parted for air, i placed my hands on either side of his face, my thumbs stroking his cheeks that were flushed as we tried to catch our breath.

The moment was interrupted by knocking at the door.

"Leave it" he mumbled leaning forward and kissing me again. I pushed him back and laughed before climbing off his lap "thats my takeout! Im not just gonna leave it, i'll be back in two seconds".

I grabbed my purse from the table and headed to the front, i opened the door with a smile.... a smile that fell when i saw Frank standing there instead of the delivery man!

"Frank....."

"Hey sweetheart".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @rainbowkisses31

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Unexpected Arrival - 7

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Possible Steve x Reader

Summary: As if working with the Avengers wasn’t exciting enough…. an unexpected visitor is about to change your life forever.

"You’re holding back on me Steve" i smirked at the Captain as i got back to my feet and took my stance again.

"Is it that obvious?" He laughed shrugging a shoulder "just thought you should ease back into training"

"Im fine! its been 6 months since i had Evie and Ive already been training with Sam and Nat a few times a week"

"Still, i think we should take it easy doll"

"Scared i'll kick your ass Captain?" I taunted him, he grabbed me suddenly and swept my legs from under me. We both landed on the mats laughing with me pinned beneath him.

"Im not concerned about that...you’re harmless" he winked before laughing again. I suddenly wrapped my legs around his head catching him off guard and flipped him over.

"Huh, would you look at that.... not as harmless as you think" i shrugged sitting on his chest with my thighs still round his head, it was only then that i realised i was practically straddling his face!!

"Apparently not!....Nat teach you that move?"

"Of course she did" i laughed before standing up and going to grab my water bottle from the side. As i turned i saw Bucky standing in the doorway with his arms crossed across his chest.

"Hey baby" i smiled, i was always happy when i saw Bucky.

"Hey" he gave me a tight smile before looking over at Steve "you two looked like you were having fun".

"I was just proving to Steve that im not to be messed with. Called me harmless can you believe that?? Me!" I told Bucky while looking at Steve, it was then i noticed the looks between the two super soldiers, i'd have to ask Bucky what that was about later. "Ive been trained by The Winter Soldier, The Black Widow and good ol' Captain America himself and you call me harmless?? Shame on you Steve" i shook my head acting disappointed in him.

"Im sorry okay, i take it back" he laughed holding his hands up in surrender.

"So you should" i nodded smugly before walking over and wrapping my arms around Bucky's waist "I missed you" i said looking up at him lovingly "please dont leave me again"

"Doll i only went into town for a couple of hours" Bucky laughed pulling me closer.

"I know but it was too long! Let me go take a shower and then we can curl up and watch a movie while Nat has Evie"

"Sounds like a plan, maybe i should join you in the shower?" He mumbled before pressing a kiss to my lips.

"Mmmm maybe you should" i nodded quickly liking that idea a lot! "Thanks for the training session Steve, same time tomorrow?" I said over my shoulder as we headed towards the door.

"Sure thing doll, i'll be here" he said with a slight smile as he nodded.

"See ya pal" Bucky called to Steve before picking me up and rushing back to our room.

"Hey babe?" I said walking over to the sofa with my glass of wine and Bucky's beer "can i ask you something?"

"Of course you can, whats on your mind doll?" Bucky asked taking his beer and lifting his arm up to allow me to cuddle up to him.

"Whats going on with you and Steve lately?" I asked, i felt his body tense before he looked down at me looking confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You've both been acting weird, I've noticed these looks between you.... like you’re pissed at each other"

"Really?? When?"

"Ive noticed it a few times, but i saw it today in the gym"

"You mean after i saw you straddling that punks face?"

"That was an accident! I didn't think that move through, instinct just kicked in" i shrugged laughing.

"Well don't do it again, my face is the only face aloud between your legs doll" he said burying his face in my neck and kissing me.

"Bucky Barnes! Did you not get enough in the shower??" I giggled as he continued his assault on my neck, his metal hand sneaking under my jumper making its way up to cup my breast.

"I can never get enough of you sweetheart, you drive me crazy" he mumbled "I'm the luckiest guy in the world having you as my girl"

"Im the lucky one Buck, but we might have to finish this later" i told him running my fingers through his hair.

"What? Why?"

"Nat will be bringing Evie back any minute"

"Cant believe I'm being cock blocked by my 6 month old...... can we at least make out until they get here?" Bucky wiggled his eyebrows before practically pouncing on me.

"Mom, dad we're home!!" Nat called 5 minutes later as she entered our shared apartment carrying Evie on her hip, Bucky and I had quickly parted hearing the door open.

"Hey, how was your day?"

"It was really good, little miss is exhausted but she wont give in and go to sleep"

"Yeah she's a proper daddy's girl at the moment, wont sleep until she's cuddled up to him"

Bucky walked over and as soon as Evie saw him she was reaching for him, Nat grumbled something as she passed Evie over to him.

"Hey my beautiful girl" he beamed at her and pecked loads of kisses on her face. Evie laughed before burying herself into Bucky's neck and starting to fall asleep.

"Nat why is my baby wearing a horse suit??" Bucky asked her raising his eyebrows as he looked Evie over.

"Its a unicorn! And she looks cute thats why" Nat shrugged her shoulders.

"Its cute Buck i gotta admit"

"Shes always cute no matter what shes wearing"

"Well i'll let you guys get lil miss to bed and enjoy your night, thanks for letting me spend time with Evie today" Nat smiled, she loved Evie so much and would often ask if she could take her out for the day. At first we found it hard to part with our beautiful girl but we soon appreciated the time it gave us alone, where we could enjoy being together as Y/N and Bucky and not Mom & Dad. We knew Evie was in good hands with her auntie Nat, the woman who would kill anyone who even looked at her funny.

"Thanks for wanting to spend time with her Nat it means alot to us"

"Anytime, you know i love that girl"

I gave Nat a quick hug and then she turned and left us to get Evie to bed.

The following morning i woke up early,  showered and dressed ready for my training session with Steve all before Evie or Bucky woke up.

"Buck?.... baby I'm just going to train with Steve for a hour or so" i said gently brushing his hair back from his face, he slowly opened his eyes.

"huh? Where you going?"

"Training with Steve, you okay with Evie?"

"Yeah sure"

"I wont be too long"

"You wearing that?" Bucky suddenly asked sitting up looking me over, i was wearing yoga pants and a sports bra with Bucky's black hoodie that i had laid claim to months ago.

"Yeah..... why?"

"Dont you want to put on a shirt?"

"This is what i always wear to train" i said looking totally confused at what he was saying.

"Why dont you train with me? Give me a couple minutes and i'll come with you. Nat can watch Evie"

"I cant Buck, Steve's probably already down there waiting because I'm running late"

"You dont wanna train with me?"

"Yeah of course i do! But i cant just leave Steve waiting for me. We can train tomorrow i promise.....I'll be back before you know it" i quickly kissed him before rushing out before he could say anything else about me training with Steve.

It was safe to say that i was a little distracted while training, i still couldn't shake the feeling Bucky wasn't telling me something and that something had to do with Steve.

"You okay Y/N? You seem a million miles away this morning" Steve suddenly asked as he held the punching bag as i carried out the combo he wanted me to do.

"I don't know" i stopped my punches to look at Steve "whats going on with you and Bucky? And don't say nothing!"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know what it is but i can tell theres something going on! You two were always so close and now i catch you throwing death glares at each other when you think no ones looking!"

"Its nothing you need to worry about, we're just butting heads over a difference of opinions..."

"About??"

"Its not important doll, you know how stubborn we both can be...."

"Steve Rogers you are a crappy liar!" I pointed a finger at him "Now tell me what its really about".

Steve shuffled around on the spot avoiding eye contact with me.

"It doesn't matter...."

"It does to me! I hate whatever this is between you two. He even asked me to train with him this morning after questioning what i was wearing..... wait... is he trying to keep me away from you?" I asked Steve even though it sounded absolutely crazy that Bucky wouldn't want me spending time with Steve, Steve was one of my best friends!

"Its possible, yeah" Steve nodded.

"But why?"

"A couple months back Bucky asked me a question" Steve started to say but stopped suddenly looking nervous.

"Okay.... what did he ask you?"

Steve looked up at me, finally meeting my eyes as he took a deep breath.

"He.... he asked me if i had feelings for you".