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#these are the kind of people who saw ben standing up for himself and somehow didnt like. care. which i cannot fathom
arundolyn · 2 years
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ngl i sometimes forget cishet nerdbros exist and are the only ones who like kenny pretty much, like to the point of nigh worship, which is like On Brand. these bitches like genuinely try to make him some kind of christ figure almost as if he doesnt fucking suck terribly and is mediocre and iirc its never even CONFIRMED confirmed he ever did the one good merciful act that he ever SEEMED to and put him in We Don’t Know If He Died limbo. and its very funny also how they hate anyone who rightfully calls kenny out on being an ass and say theyre weak cowards (BEN. BEN. BEN.) or evil and lying (JANE! WHO WAS FUCKING CORRECT ALWAYS! YOU HATE HER CAUSE SHES RIGHT). anyone who killed jane over kenny is wrong and a coward and he dies anyway so die mad.
admittedly there is SOME nuance and depth to kenny’s character for sure. but these people are just straight up making shit up completely all the time. cope and seethe die mad etc etc your cool white guy died. boo hoo. which is really funny these were probably the same bitches crying when vasco wasnt playable anymore in indivisible and replaced by a cooler black man and genuinely got big baby mad when there was not a playable white man anymore. that happened
#crow.txt#yes the game is about making choices But there are wrong choices (picking kenny over literally anyone else for anything ever)#IDK HE SUCKS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO JUSTFIY IT! HE SUCKS IN S2! DIE MAD IDC!#idk idc i dont give a god damn kenny aint shit and never was. kenny fans are the signora mains of twdg#twdgposting#jane also dies anyway to be fair but i mean at least it wasnt as insane and gruesome i suppose? for her at least?#and its sadder imo. whatever whatever kenny whatever the fuck jane literally like hung herself from the ceiling fan. which like#iirc it was on. and i feel terrible for laughing. but like she was literally slowly rotating. as a zombie. im mad it was so fucked up#but in my brain it was funny just looking back. like it was shocking but did you have to do it in the funniest way possible. girl.#not to mention kenny like. being southern Obviously. says some fucking WILD shit a few times#and implies some wild ass shit that i dont appreciate. idk abt yall but im not gonna side with the racist redneck guy#hes literally the type to own a confederate flag. i bet he did in the first draft of the game#idk unpopular opinion i like ben and im fucked up over like..... sure i get why kenny was pissed. but jesus fucking christ have some empathy#you arent the fucking protagonist surprise surprise! though he sure does want to be#these are the kind of people who saw ben standing up for himself and somehow didnt like. care. which i cannot fathom#like honestly kenny aint fucking shit!!!!!!!!!! im actually mad now#ben went through sooooo much worse. like a LOT fucking worse. but its always about kenny of course.#kenny apparently goes so far as to praise lee if he lets ben fucking die in crawford which. fuck you for that#and ben CLEARLY feels fucking TERRIBLE about it the whole time and is absolutely riddled with guilt after he ruins kenny's family#and is honestly just kinda telling people to kill him after cause he feels he deserves it and shit. and then his death IS sad as fuck#if you spared him from falling in the bell tower thing. like arguably worse than breaking his legs and being eaten alive maybe#idk i just like the cringe little failboy. he was doing his best. BEN did nothing wrong actually i think. kenny genuinely sucked#ben was just scared and confused. justice for ben 2k22.#like even after the supposed mercy kill kenny shit talks him postmortem after purportedly starting to understand him#what is his fucking issue. didnt ben literally like JUST graduate from high school. if he had graduated at all. christ i hate kenny.#...and also the nerdbro kenny obsession is totally cause hes like the white guy power fantasy every dude like that has in apocalypse setting#theyre always Cool and Right and doing the Best For Who They Care About while being a fucking asshole to everyone else#and from the outside seeming like an utter fucking tool in spite of the times they do good. cant stand him#hot takes from me today i guess?
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Two sides of the same coin - A day at the beach
The sun was beaming down brightly, and Ben had a wonderful day on the beach. He was on vacation and here with some friends. Being the only single in their social group, Ben often felt like the fifth wheel, but he didn't mind that. While the other guys were out with their girlfriends in the city, window shopping or sightseeing, Ben could just lay on his towel, soak up some rays and watch people going by - especially girls of course. There were a lot of beautiful girls here and at some times, Ben considered hitting on one of them, but the truth was that he was just too lazy. So instead, he enjoyed watching the ladies walking by while thinking about how hot they are.
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Of course, there were also other men on the beach, for example the one not too far from him, sitting under a parasol and reading a book, while simultaneously looking at his phone. It probably wouldn't hurt that guy to get out of the shade and soak up some sun, Ben thought, considering how pale he looked.
Jason, the guy in question, was trying hard to relax, he really was. But neither reading nor browsing the occasional meme site really helped. Sure, he had his peace and quiet here, but he found himself watching the time pass, bringing him closer and closer to the end of his day off. Both off work (which he hated) and away from his wife (which he ha... found difficult at times). He sighed. He was already in his 40s and it felt like most of his life story had already been written. He was married, had no kids, worked in a dead-end public service job and each day was like the next. If he somehow had the chance to start over again, he would probably do things differently. Like, not marrying so early. He grimaced, as he saw another message from his wife dinging into his phone, checking up on him.
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He put the phone down in the sand besides him, deciding not to answer. That would probably be a bad idea coming back to him this evening, but at least for now it gave him so much needed peace of mind. As he put down the phone however, he noticed a small object half buried in the sand. A small coin, glittering in the sunlight. He would need to have a closer look later, he decided and pocketed it.
Immediately, the coin vanished while still in his hand. Jason didn't have much time to think about it though, as not only the coin vanished but also his shorts, t-shirt and book, leaving him completely naked from one second to the other on his chair. What was happening?!
Ben had just looked at another lady walking by. As he looked back to the reading guy, he had to take a double take. He had barely looked away for a few seconds, but now the guy had undressed and was now completely nude!
Ben was not gay, but he was certain enough in his sexuality to recognize a good looking man. This was definitely not one of them. His skin was pale, he had literally no definition, a small belly and a tiny dick. Regardless, he found himself standing up and walking over.
"Dude! This isn't a nudist beach. Nobody wants to see that!" Ben said loudly, pointing at the man's crotch. The guy jumped up and covered himself with his hands, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry! I don't know what happened, I just..." stammered Jason. "I'm so sorry."
"Are you having a boner? What are you, some kind of pervert?!" Despite his disgust, Ben stepped even closer to the guy, violating his personal space now. He didn't know why he did that, but he just did. He also wasn't sure why he was so hard on the other man, who looked really embarrassed.
"I... do?" Jason asked, lifting his hands from his crotch, revealing his indeed stiff dick. "I'm so sorry! I..."
Something changed in Jasons head, forcing him to end the sentence different from what he intended. "I need to do something about that."
It wasn't Jason who was in control, but it was like an outside force had taken control of his arms now, grabbing the surprised Ben roughly at the head and pushing him down to his crotch. With a rough push of his hips, Jason shoved his cock inside Ben's mouth. Ben gasped for air and tried to pull away, but it was like his body refused to obey him. All he could manage was to keep his lips closed around the shaft of the other man's penis, sucking and licking it without hesitation.
Jason moaned and grabbed Ben's hair with both hands, pulling him harder onto his cock. Ben struggled against him but couldn't break free. His body seemed to move on its own. His face flushed red from exertion, a color that would not go away again.
Meanwhile, while he thrust his cock into the unknown other man's face, Jason felt like he shed away years with each thrust. His body felt more and more energetic and younger, regaining flexibility and developing new strength. Strength that he had never had in his entire life.
His belly retracted into his body, leaving behind only well-defined abs.
Ben was feeling weak. He had less and less power to resist the handling of the changing man in front of him, both physically and mentally. He didn't want this to happen, but it just happened. He looked down at his own body. The skin was lobster-red now, and he had shrunk considerably. Hadn't it been for the other man, who pressed his face to the groin, Ben would actually fall down, so short was he now. His feet didn't touch the ground anymore and his body was swinging between the other guy's legs like a pendulum with each thrust.
Ben was afraid and tried to cling to Jasons hips as best as he could. His arms didn't reach around the midsection of the gigantic body anymore, but at least this way, he felt a bit more secured against falling down, if the other man got tired of violating him.
Jason felt better and better. It was a beautiful day, and the corner of the beach was secluded enough that not too many people saw him as he handled his very large cock through the face of... Jason shook his head, as he watched his skin darken to a rich dark brown tone. His hair became a very short buzz cut and his face became square and masculine. The face of... No. What face? Jabari felt confused, and brought his other hand down as well, smoothing the flap of fabric hanging down from his crotch like a loincloth and drawing it in between his legs until it connected to the waistband on the other side.
Ben, no, the speedo, could hear his owner moan loudly, as the large black cock contained in its pouch pulsed and fed him his cum. The part that was still Ben was horrified of what had happened to him, but there was another part, which was nothing more than an object. A speedo, worn by Jabari, the beach life guard.
Jabari didn't hide the fact that he was gay, and sometimes, there were just too many hot guys on the beach, and he needed release. Fuck it if anyone saw him. He knew fair well that his hot chocolate body was what brought a lot of girls and guys to the beach, so he really didn't care about some indecency. Besides, he had been wearing his red speedo the whole time, so technically, he hadn't actually exposed himself.
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If you liked this story, there is a good chance, you might enjoy the other "coin"-stories!
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icharchivist · 7 months
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As someone who thought that the Lucius just had a bunch of nicknames, I’m somehow just now realizing he’s three different people??? :(;゙゚'ω゚'):
i'm sorry to make matter worse, but i think you meant Lucilius... because Lucius is another character who's completely unrelated to the bunch.
But yeah there's three Luci- characters whom we nickname the Lucifaces who have the same face (and same voice actor), which makes things confusing for everyone who's not used to it.
The long story short is that they're clones of one another.
Lucio is the Original
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On the left is his real appearance, his real name being Helel Ben Sahar. He's one of the two Speakers of Bahamut, the God of this world. He's basically one of the most powerful person in existence. On the right is his newish appearance, and now he uses the name Lucio as he pretends to be a stage actor to infiltrate our crew. The crew knows something is fishy with him and MC saw his powers in action, but very few people knows about his real identity. He flirts with Sandalphon sometimes but Sandalphon can't stand him.
Personalitywise he's defined by the fact he's teasing and mysterious, and overly loyal to God, despite the fact Bahamut has been ignoring him and his calls for the past few thousand years.
Lucilius is his clone.
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No one knows the circumstances behind Lucilius's existence. He's an Astral, one of the immortal people of the stars. He himself didn't know he was a clone if not for the fact he was plagued with dreams of Lucio's life, which made him believe God was tormenting him personally. So he developed a God Complex, coming up with plans to destroy the world and take God's place. He was beheaded by Lucifer during one of his apocalypse plans, and thousands of years later, Belial set up a plan to behead Lucifer in order to sew Lucilius's head on Lucifer's body to bring him back to life. Thus the second zombie look. Currently, Lucio has locked him and Belial in an interdimensionnel prison called the Rainbow Dimension in order to stop them from going on rampage, after Sandalphon stopped their last attempt at destroying the world.
Personalitywise he's cold, mean and calculating, the only person he ever liked was Lucifer, and no one else. He hates God more than anything in the world.
(as a side note his Japanese name is Rushifaa which is the actual way to pronounce "Lucifer" i Japanese. GBF!Lucifer is pronounced Rushiferu, a variation on how Lucifer could be pronounced by accentuating the "r" ending)
Lucifer is Lucilius's clone.
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In his convoluted plan to take down God, Lucilius created the very first Primal Beasts. One of the very first (the second one after Belial, in fact) was Lucifer, whom he created to be the idealized version of himself. Lucifer was made to oversee evolution itself. he was considered the light of the skies. Because Lucifer was meant to look over evolution, he was able to evolve himself enough past his programing in order to see Lucilius's destructive way and behead him when his apocalypse plan was threatening to destroy it all. He then watched over the skies for thousand of years before being murdered and beheaded. In his last breath he passed down his powers to Sandalphon, his official replacement and the one person Lucifer always yearned for the presence of, and because of that Sandalphon often has dreams of Lucifer's memories. And because of this bond, he hasn't fully moved on to the afterlife, stuck in between worlds, watching over Sandalphon.
Personalitywise he's kind, caring and dutiful, though a little dense. Also he created coffee. God likes him. Literally Bahamut put Lucio and Lucilius on mute but he actually talked with Lucifer recently-ish and values his opinion. Which is kinda hilarious.
So those are 3 drastically different people, but they are clones of one another with various degree of knowing about it. All of them have also very unique relationship to Sandalphon and it's why the real test is "put Sandalphon in a room with them, you'll know who is who in due time"
So those are the three Lucifaces: Lucio, Lucilius, Lucifer. Three different people. Not to confuse with Lucius who has absolutely nothing to do with those guys.
It's easy once you know i swear!
The more you know then?
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swbumblebee · 3 years
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What if Qui-Gon Jinn was not particularly special in his post-mortem abilities?
AKA “Old Ben” and his many Force parents.
They had all watched, their collective Force aura swamped in sadness, grief and longing, as Qui-Gon finally introduced himself to Obi-Wan.
They’d never call him ‘Old Ben’. The fact that he was only 40 years old notwithstanding, this was the boy they’d raised, grown up with, idolised. They remembered him toddling about the gardens, fascinated by the brightly coloured flowers; Getting shy around pretty people and developing awkward crushes. They remembered him standing alone at the head of an army, quietly confident and immeasurably capable. They had vivid memories of him carrying them back to the creche, so steady and strong; of his measured wisdom, and the confidence that Obi-Wan Kenobi would always triumph.
They remembered the mullet.
Nobody named “Old Ben” ever had a mullet.
The man they now, as they always had really, looked to for a light when everything else went dark.
They didn’t catch the murmured words. They were Jedi after all, (even if they were now technically one big Jedi rather than a temple full of Jedi) and eavesdropping was rude. Nobody listened to the sulky mutterings of the presence that was Quinlan Vos.
Their boy was nodding, sitting quietly on the floor whilst he finally, finally after weeks of careful and gentle persuasion, of them all keeping a tight rein on the order’s maverick (“Do not, we repeat do not, come out of the water tank. You’ll give him a cardiac arrest or something”) believed in the presence he saw before him.
They watched once more, pleased, as their missing piece allowed himself to be bullied to his feet, and guided over to the pile of blankets he called a bed.
They could feel Qui-Gon’s bitter relief as he perched next to his former student, his longing to pull the blankets up around his boy and smooth back his hair.
But words were all they had.
Still, as Obi-Wan Kenobi had shown the Galaxy; you could do a lot with words.
---
They’d argued (as much as an incorporeal fusion of spirits could argue) at length over who got to go next.
“I knew him longest, he’ll trust me!”
“He needs someone calm, measured. I will go”
“No offence Master Plo but you’ll make him cry. He needs cheering up, I’ll go!”
“Vos so help me Force-“
“I was the Master of the Order, I should do it”
“Master, we’re dead. I’m not sure seniority applies.”
In the end it was narrowed down to two options; Bant Erin, Obi-Wan’s oldest friend. Sweet natured and kind, she would be the perfect choice.
And Mace Windu.
It turns out seniority does still apply beyond the grave.
---
A small part of Obi-Wan’s subconscious was telling him that it was starting to get a bit awkward.
The transparent blue form of Mace Windu was looking down at him, the welcoming smile quickly turning into a grimace.
“…Obi-Wan?”
No. no no no this was not happening. He didn’t have time to go round the bend he had a child to protect!
He wasn’t sure if it was reasonable to measure sanity on the volume of dead loved ones he was hallucinating, but somehow one seemed saner than two.
Though it turns out he’s insane, and so not a good barometer of these things.
He knew his stare was starting to get very unnerving as his hysterical inner-ramblings reached a fever pitch.
“…Obi-Wan, are you alright?” Imaginary Mace Windu asked, concern and a tiny bit of nervousness showing on his face.
“I’m fine, how are you?” Obi-Wan asked, remembering a solid piece of advice from his formative years; Always fall back upon good manners when in unfamiliar territory Padawan mine.
Well, this was about as unfamiliar as it got.
Imaginary Mace looked at him, utterly baffled for a moment.
“Well…I’m dead, I suppose, is how I am” he answered awkwardly.
“Right. Obviously.” Obi-Wan nodded politely. “My condolences”
There was another awkward silence.
Imaginary Mace tilted his head for a moment, listening for something.
“Well…here I am” he said, spreading his arms a little.
“…yes.”
The other Jedi frowned at Obi-Wan’s strained reply and his act of scrubbing his hands down his face as if to wipe away the image in front of him.
“Qui-Gon didn’t…didn’t mention we were coming?” he asked tentatively.
Obi-Wan shook his head, wordlessly.
The frown on Imaginary Mace turned into a complete scowl as the pieces seemed to fall into place.
“JINN” he bellowed, and Obi-Wan felt it echo in the Force like nothing before.
“He can’t hear you, he’s with Yoda”
Another figure popped into existence next to Mace, and Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes once again as Depa Billaba bowed to him.
“Obi-Wan” she greeted with a grin.
“…hi” He took a deep breath, mentally cursing his absent-minded Master.
“Are you alright?” Depa didn’t stop for a reply as she looked down with him and gestured at him, gently instructing him to get up from the floor. “Oh look you’ve scraped your knee there! Master I knew you’d startle him!” she scolded her former Master.
It felt like he was having an out of body experience as Depa ushered him into a chair (the only chair in the hut), Mace looking on anxiously.
“There we go” Depa soothed as she got him settled “I wish we could make you some tea my friend.” She said disappointedly.
Obi-Wan cleared his throat.
“You ah…you can’t?” he asked, something permeating the haze. Of this whole situation, that seemed by far the most unfair thing.
Mace smiled encouragingly, seemingly happier to be on more binary ground.
“I’m afraid not, we are beings of the Force, like your Master.” He explained, before scowling again. “Who, I would kill if he weren’t already dead,” he growled.
“I’m so sorry Obi-Wan” Depa said, dismayed “We all wanted to come and be with you, but we though Qui-Gon might be best to start with, so as not to overwhelm you”
“Sorry about that” Mace said apologetically.
They sat in silence a moment, Depa and Mace watching him process.
For the first time ever, Obi-Wan had exactly zero thoughts in his head.
He was starting to feel the pressure.
“All?” he tried.
Depa and Mace looked at each other.
“You ah…you said ‘all wanted to come’” he clarified.
Depa nodded happily.
“Yes yes, we’re all there Obi-Wan” she smiled at him
“Any Jedi slain by a Sith, or the machinations of the Sith, is there” Mace explained.
Obi-Wan was having the slightest bit of trouble taking deep breaths. Neither of his companions seemed to have noticed.
“Where?” he asked, only mildly aware that his voice was getting just a little pitchy.
“In the Force, we’re all one in the Force” Depa started again, and then paused a little lost for words.
“We’re all together and we kind of…share our presences” Mace picked up, with difficulty “Everyone who was killed by Palpatine’s evil, everyone from us right down to the littlest initiate, we share one consciousness in the Force.”
Obi-Wan was none the wiser.
Mace waved a hand frustratedly.
“Sorry, Plo explains it better”
“Plo?” Obi-Wan loved Master Plo. He loved all of them. And they were gone.
“Hello Obi-Wan”
“Well, if Plo and Depa get to see him I’m bloody well here too!”
“Hi Obi”
“Obes!”
He could only watch, speechless, as the faces of old friends, comrades, mentors and carers crammed into his hut, all looking at him with unadulterated, unfiltered pleasure and love was the last thing he saw before his scrambled brain decided it’d had enough, and he knew nothing but darkness.
---
It turns out, living with the forms of all your dead teachers, carers and friends was actually rather trying, after a while.
“Oh thank goodness you’re not still drinking that awful caff”
“I like caff – Master Plo please don’t try and lift that”
“Relax Obi dear, we’re incorporeal”
“Can still see things though”
“Vos get out of my fresher!”
“What does this do?”
“Never you mind. No don’t – Ugh. Why don’t some nice, well behaved padawans ever come to see me?”
“They’re not allowed, only those who knew you personally can visit. We thought it might get a bit stressful otherwise.”
“…I can’t imagine.”
Aside from having to adapt his busy routine to accommodate half a dozen fidgety and curious…ghosts (?) poking around his small hut at any one time, another unexpected addition to his (attempted) isolation on Tatooine was the nagging. And Force could they nag! The concentrated worry of many, many, beings with nowhere else to direct their extra energies was powerful.
“Obi-Wan you haven’t drank enough today. Go and check the vaporators”
“Padawan aren’t you going to eat?”
“Listen, that plie of cloth can’t be good for your spine”
“Force! Get some sun block Kenobi or you’re going to look like an old shoe in three months”
“No right, I saw a sunhat he can buy at the market”
It was…weird. He’d always been very self-sufficient, not to mention being the centre of everyone’s attention was difficult, to say the least. But as the months went on, he found himself transitioning from awkward acquiescence to see-sawing between mulishness and good-natured obedience. The stubbornness rising usually when the despair did. But those days were few and far between.
And now, when they did occur (for one can only avoid one’s demons for so long) and he felt like he was drowning in the weight of existence, he could rely on his friends for encouragement, care, and the motivation to carry on.
“If you join us before your time I will KILL you Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now kriffing well eat something!”
---
Of course, when their brother, friend, son, comrade, teacher and last hope did at last join them, there was no nagging or disappointment (or violence). The ultimate Jedi was back in the fold and they were once again complete.
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sirensmojo · 3 years
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"Depth Over Distance" Hubby! Tommy Shelby x Reader
Warnings: Angst & Fluff.
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Summary: Tommy remembers the time he fell in love with you when he realizes that you are falling out of love with him.
A/N: It's Tommy's point of view all along. [it was supposed to be out yesterday but I fell asleep WAY TOO SOON and on my computer....]
PS: Inspired by "Keep your Head up" by Ben Howard.
*Masterlist*
*Arrow House*
The clock was ticking, it was the only sound that could be heard in the office, along with the smoke Tommy exhaled. His eyes were blankly staring at the void forward him, his vision blurred by his thoughts.
She was standing in the chair right in front of him but she wasn’t saying anything, she probably didn’t even notice he was standing near her.
She wouldn’t even look at him in the eyes anymore or even throw a single glance his way. He used to say he’ll not eat with Y/N when just coming home from the House Of Commons, but for several months she wasn’t even expecting him at all. When he would arrive late for dinner, he would rush to the dining room but found it empty.
No plates on the table, and no Y/N waiting for him. It was maids that would welcome him and tell him his wife took supper earlier before going to bed, using the excuse that “she had to wake up early”.
What was she doing early in the morning anyway?
Why was she out all day long? But most of all, why wasn't she looking at him anymore?
Y/N and Tom met during the war, she was a nurse in his department. Being a tunneler meant you weren’t going out often, but when you did, it was solely to put out the bodies of the dead or reach for help for those who were deeply wounded.
He remembers she used to always come to him to take care of his scars when he refused to let anyone touch him until all his soldiers would be taken care of.
She wasn’t saying anything when he would do so, but her eyes… Tommy remembers vividly the way she was looking at him, the aggressive burning fire that was animating her eyes and her stern look contrasting with the way her lids softly fluttered whenever he would catch her looking at him.
She used to panic a little before understanding it was his way to tell her she could take care of his wounds and scars.
Her touches were so soft and sweet, her skin was always smooth and cold. Not in a bad way, it was easing his own that was burning like hot coals.
Being under the ground in very tiny tunnels with all his soldiers, Tommy had to take on his shoulders an amount of pressure no one could ever even imagine, he had to give them orders and lead them to death from time to time. No errors would be acceptable, so he had to calculate everything for everyone.
The air down there was toxic, hot and tense. That’s why he loved Y/N’s skin being cold, it would remind him about the life above the ground, what fresh air felt like, and even if at the time he hadn’t had much space to think about that, she was bringing him hope.
A hope that would be killed as soon as he was back in the tunnels, but still. He could taste hope somehow, so it was better than nothing.
When returning home, he forgot about her for some time, but soon enough, the universe, destiny, or whatever, sent his angel back in the streets of small heath.
She was working in a bakery, and soon, Thomas was bringing bread everywhere he would go. Even in family meetings or the betting shop. Every occasion was an invitation to visit the woman that didn’t seem to recognize him… Or so he thought.
“Y/N! Give your Sergent Major what he needs and close the shop! We need you at the back!”
Her cheeks reddened.
“I’m coming!” Y/N responded by turning her head to the back door before slowly facing Tommy again. She was keeping her head down, but when she met the icy blue staring-eyes of the man she once knew in another time, she cleared her throat and gained composure again.
“So what do you want?”
“Huh?” He responded, aghast.
“What bread this time?” She answered back and he raised his brows.
“You remember me?” He will not order anything, but he wanted the truth.
“Who can forget what happened there.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement and the bitter tone of her voice alarmed him. Did he do something to her personally or was that tone about the war itself? Tom was confused.
He frowned and was staring at the woman in front of him.
“You heard my boss, I gotta close.” She let out before she walked around the counter to join him. She seemed to be aware he was going there only to see her, that’s why she didn’t wait any longer to put him out of the bakery shop.
Tommy, that was now out, under the rain, turned back to look at her through the windows, confusion filling his eyes.
She was aware of his scheme and she indeed kicked him out the shop.
Her attitude made him forget he was a peaky blinder and that he should be served like a fucking Prince. With her, he only felt like a simple man. Not that it was a bad thing, but since he returned his business was the only thing he could think about until he saw her again.
Now she became the key to this other dimension where Tommy Shelby was just Tommy Shelby, not the leader of a backstreet gang, not the head of the Shelby family, no. None of those things mattered or even existed in that dimension. It was just him, her, and the way she was looking at him.
Tom maybe didn’t know what to say that day, but he eventually came back the next day with only one purpose: She will not kick him out this time. This wasn’t too ambitious, or was it?
Because last time she made no effort to kick him out. Her Y/C/E eyes were enough for Tommy to be unable to say anything back.
But he wanted to believe this time will be different.
He pushed the heavy glass door and entered, no clients. He quickly glanced behind the counter but he was surprised to see a blonde girl. It wasn’t Y/N.
“Mr Shelby!” The woman began, a huge smile on her face, she surely knew about his position in this town. “What brings you here? Can I help you?”
But he glimpsed a form, in the tiny room at the back of the shop, and here she was, lifting huge bags of flour from the ground.
He turned back to the girl that was speaking to him and cleared his throat, “Give me my everyday order.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand… It’s my first time serving clients, I do not know what you usually take…” She seemed sorry and scared. So, she heard about what happened when the peaky blinders didn’t have what they wanted.
He got out a cig, lightening it up slowly before puffing on it and lifted his eyes back on the woman, “Well, bring someone who knows.” Was all he said.
“Y/N, please come!” The blondie girl ran to the back door.
“Is it something you do often, to frighten people?” Y/N asked, outright, when nearing the counter.
“Give me my everyday order.” He was looking deep into her eyes, and he could swear he saw her gritted her teeth as the muscle of her jaw tensed.
She grabbed a couple of pieces and wrapped them in fabric, shaking her head.
“Is it something you want to tell me?” He raised his brows, still smoking.
She handed him his order and exhaled, “I don’t understand why you chose that path. Haven’t you got enough with the killings?” She looked at him straight in the eyes, and he would swear she was looking into his soul.
Tommy didn’t say anything for a moment, his body stiffened. It was when his cigarettes burnt his knuckles that he blinked, grunting. He frowned and looked at the burning on his pale skin as the cigarette fell on the ground.
How did she do that? It was as if she understood him better than he did. And her words made him feel like he was cheating on himself.
She grabbed his hand in both of hers, which startled the man that looked up to her face.
It had been forever he hadn't seen her that close, her hair falling perfectly on each side of her face, framing her judging look. “Now you act like you don’t remember who you are, huh? Or maybe you truly forgot.”
Her words echoed in his mind but he was still desperately searching for their meaning. What was she saying?
“So, you hate me.” He concluded, not because that was what he thought but because it was his way of knowing what he truly wanted to know without directly asking her a question. He didn’t need her to think he cared what she thought, even if that was the case.
She put his knuckle in her mouth while frowning at him,” No, I don’t hate you, of course, no.” She was taken aback by his remark. As if it was the dumbest thing she'd ever heard.
“So, what is it? You always be looking at me with those eyes,” he pointed to her with his free hand. That’s when he realized his finger in her mouth, making him flutter his lids a couple times out of confusion, “like I did something wrong.” He concluded while staring at her mouth.
Y/N scoffed, “Stop speaking in the name of my eyes. It’s not my fault if you see your own conscience in them.” She said as letting go of his finger.
She pulled his arm, leading him in the tiny room at the back of the bakery shop. “Sit.” She motioned a dusty table and two chairs while she went away.
Tommy obeyed, patiently waiting for her.
He rewinds the time and hears her voice again, “It’s not my fault if you see your own conscience in them”, well. Maybe she was right. Maybe all of the things he thought he saw in her was in imagination, but here he was, about to have a full conversation with the woman that saw the real him.
“Give me your finger,” she let out while sitting right next to him. “I never hated you, Tommy. It’s who you become that I can’t stand. I thought you discovered your true self there, I guess I was wrong.”
“Don’t speak in my name. It’s not my fault if you see a version of me you want to see and not who I am.”
She lifted her gaze to his, “I saw you looking at your soldiers there. You felt powerless in front of their distress, and it seemed to burn you from the inside. I’m not lying.” She said, putting some kind of liquid on his burn.
“That’s why I become who I’m becoming.” He snapped back, staring at her movements, wincing of pain.
“To never be powerless…” She muttered utterly to herself, but he heard her, and noticed her nodding to herself, she was genuinely trying to understand him.
“And I saw you.” She tied a piece of tissue around his knuckle before exhaling deeply.
“Back then, yea” He completed before she could add anything as if to let her know he wasn’t the same anymore.
“It’s so depressing how you want everything out of life but not the life itself.” She smiled at him faintly, raising a hand to his cheek.
She fondled his skin and shamelessly brought her lips to his, kissing him softly.
Tommy was surprised but in a good way. Now he was sure about what he felt between them since the war.
He put a hand at the back of her head, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss, his other hand she took care of cupped one of her cheeks, tenderly.
He couldn’t believe it was the same Y/N in his vivid memories that was ignoring him right now.
He wanted to say something, but the words refused to form in his mind, and his voice was tied in his throat.
He knew she never approved his business even if she never said anything, and he was pretty sure this was the reason he was forced to watch the spaces grow between them.
A heaviness settled on his chest, making him cough even harder than usual. He abruptly crushed his cigarette in the ashtray and clenched his jaw as he grabbed the paper Y/N was reading.
He wanted her attention, he wanted her to look at him the way she used to. He wanted to see his own conscience in her eyes, he needed his wife. And she wasn’t there anymore, or maybe it was him who wasn't there?
Maybe the fact he entered politics was the last straw that broke the camel’s back? It was love or business and he made a decision.
That last thought made sense and would explain why she didn’t even look at him after he grabbed the paper and just left the office without saying anything.
(...)
In the morning, as he just entered the Shelby Brother Company Limited’s office, he saw his wife, sitting in one of the two armchairs in front of his desk.
“Y/N.” His voice was full of expectations.
When he saw the suitcase near her legs, he realized what was bound to happen.
“Sit.” She spoke with a low voice. And that’s when he realized...
It was him who changed. She was still as calm as usual, her hair still perfectly framing her face by falling at each side of her head.
Her Y/C/E eyes that, for the first time in months, met his blue ones were still animated by the same burning fire that when he found her in the bakery shop.
She was the same.
He came and sat at his desk, taking advantage of the fact she didn’t refuse to look at him, to stare at her face, printing as many details as he could before she would vanish, because that’s what she’ll do. He knows it.
“You had been away.” He succeeded saying. He didn’t want her to go silent again or to ignore him, so he made a step towards her, hoping she would do the same.
Tommy didn’t speak the first words coming to his mind, he meant something while saying this.
He wasn’t talking about distance here, no. He was talking about depth, she had been far too in-depth for him to reach for her.
She seemed to understand the depth he meant because she quickly looked away, fleeing the judgment in his icy stern eyes.
“Keep your mind set in your ways. It’s who you are now.” She mutters, giving him a faint smile.
He knew a ���but’ would be coming at some point, he was patiently waiting for the sentence to drop on his head, so she could finish him off as if her ignoring him didn’t already do enough damage.
“It’s the time we go separate ways, Tom. But it’s okay, cause I’ll always remember you the same….” She tilted her head to the side, closing her eyes abruptly. A couple of tears racing at the corners of her eyes, “Eyes like wildflowers… with your demons of change.”
So that was it, he was right, he was the one who let her down, the one who changed.
“May you find happiness there… May all our hopes all turn out right.” She concluded, finally opening back her eyes.
He closed his eyes at each of her sentences, they were like bullets to him. One hitting him deeper than the previous.
No tears were to be found in her eyes anymore, it was his Y/N right here, right there. The one that once saw him, but couldn’t see him now.
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The Dragon has Three Heads
"Three heads of the dragon... yes... but the third will not necessarily BE a Targaryen..."
~ GRRM @ at some convention
The conclusion is simple. The heads of the dragon refer to people and while the two are Targaryens, the third might not be one.
We can ignore anything that says this group of things are of different things (for example, I've seen "two Targaryens plus a concept"), as that makes no narrative sense. The key is exactly that last sentence, the third one may not be a Targaryen, which implies the three heads are all people and that two are Targaryens and the third is not quite one. Therefore, these three dragon heads must refer to people associated with dragon, with two of them being Targaryens but the last one not necessarily being one.
The most popular theory is that the two Targaryens are Danerys Targaryen and Jon Snow, with the third being the youngster that claims to be Aegon VI Targaryen and appears first in ADWD. This identification ignores the narrative framework for both Aegon VI Targareyn and Jon Snow.
On one hand, Aegon is often associated with kingly imagery (for example, the chapter he's introduced starts with six chests, the kid himself is introduced as standing at a higher ground than the rest, and ends with a turtle who is said to witness the birth of kings), he's accompanied by a lot associated with his parents such as Jon Connington (his father's hand of the kind) and some dornish / royne people (his mother's land and culture). Another thing to note is that Varys introduces him as the real thing to a dying man.
Moreover, there is at least one "baby switch" story that shadows this one, a prince baby being switched with a nobody, sent away to protect against a Baratheon. In specific, Mance Rayder's son (the wildling "king") being switched with Gilly's son, then sent South for protection against another Baratheon, which is notably a plan concocted by Jon Snow (another of Rhaegar's kids, as if preparing him and the reader to "believe" such a scenario is possible).
On the other hand, Jon Snow's core character revolves around two facts, that he is a bastard and that he loves his Stark family. The reveal that he's not Eddard Stark's bastard but Lyanna Stark's child doesn't erase the latter, as he's a Stark through his mother. Still, the nature of Rhaegar and Lyanna's relationship may erase the former. If Jon is illegitimate, that doesn't erase the former, but if he's legitimate somehow (Targaryens are said to take multiple wives), that erases the former and replaces it another. It can go either way.
Moreover, there is at least one "legitimized bastard" story that shadows this one. In specific, Jon Snow is offered to be legitimised both by Stannis Baratheon (something that is a true temptation, as it would give him everything he secretely longed for all his life), but also by Robb's will as it names Jon Snow as his heir over sisters and that's only possible through legitimising him. It's my conviction that "the rule of three" applies, therefore that Jon will reject Robb's will like he rejected Stannis' offer, but will have a third legitimization opportunity and that this time around he'll acept.
To be more specific and in contrast with Aegon, who's introduced with kingly imagery, Jon is introduced with bastardy imagery. Bran introduces him into the narratve as his bastard brother, while Jon's first POV chapter starts with him musing that he's a bastard. While Jon has "kingly" imagery, it doesn't come associated with imagery from his father's side, and seems to be self-contained to the North (for example, the first inside joke is "kings hiding under the snow" or Mormont's crow calling him king while he's at the wall). Jon's hidden parentage comes along with prince imagery instead (for example, the anti-parallel with bastard prince Joffrey). With my conviction explained above, I do believe it will come to Aegon legitimising Jon as his heir until he has kids (a parallel to Robb's will). Most (if not all) foreshadowing falls into place. Aegon VI is king, Jon is the (bastard) prince. An example would be Sansa's "Glory to your betrothed," Ser Arys answered at once. (...) "He is the dragon's heir." which fits with Jon as Aegon's heir.
Combined, this interpreation suggests that the popular theory is actually backwards: Aegon VI is the real thing while Jon Snow is the Blackfyre (bastard Targaryen). This is in accordance to the way the text is presented.
House of Undying
"THe dragon has three heads" is referenced for the first time to Danerys Targaryen in a prophetic inducing Shade of the Evening tripping out at the House of Undying.
The man had her brother's hair, but he was taller, and his eyes were a dark indigo rather than lilac. "Aegon," he said to a woman nursing a newborn babe in a great wooden bed. "What better name for a king?"
"Will you make a song for him?" the woman asked.
"He has a song," the man replied. "He is the prince that was promised, and his is the song of ice and fire." He looked up when he said it and his eyes met Dany's, and it seemed as if he saw her standing there beyond the door. "There must be one more," he said, though whether he was speaking to her or the woman in the bed she could not say. "The dragon has three heads." He went to the window seat, picked up a harp, and ran his fingers lightly over its silvery strings. Sweet sadness filled the room as man and wife and babe faded like the morning mist, only the music lingering behind to speed her on her way.
I'll say that whatever the House of Undying shows, may not be reality. Rhaegar wanting to fulfill some prophecy with three kids is not referenced anywhere else, except this moment which is the equivalent of a very bad drug trip. It's worth mentioning though, Ratgar saw a comet in the sky and thought he should impregnate his wife, against medical advice because she who was recovering from giving birth his first child. It could be, but it could not be.
Regardless, what's important to note is what's being prophetized. Much like GRRM's convention remark, Rhaegar identifies the three heads as people. So far so good. However, he also gives us an order: omitted Rhaenys as she was born already, Aegon in mother's lap, Danerys when Rhaegar looks up to "see" her at the door, then finally Jon when he says "there must be one more". On one hand, Rhaenys was murdered and Danerys is in this as well, so the conclusion is that the former "replaced" the latter in the prophecy. On the other hand, if this had been a real memory, than Rhaegar would have two legitimate kids at the time (Rhaenys and Aegon) such saying "there must be one more" suggests a third child (Jon), which goes well with GRRM saying "the third may not be a Targaryen". So in order, we have Aegon, Danerys, Jon.
Danerys later reflects upon what this prophecy means and comes the conclusion that these heads are supposed to be people. This is because the Targaryen coat-of-arms is a dragon with three heads, each head representing three Targaryens.
"The dragon has three heads," she sighed. "Do you know what that means, Jorah?"
"Your Grace? The sigil of House Targaryen is a three-headed dragon, red on black."
"I know that. But there are no three-headed dragons."
"The three heads were Aegon and his sisters."
(...)
"Prince Aegon was Rhaegar's heir by Elia of Dorne," Ser Jorah said. "But if he was this prince that was promised, the promise was broken along with his skull when the Lannisters dashed his head against a wall."
"I remember," Dany said sadly. "They murdered Rhaegar's daughter as well, the little princess. Rhaenys, she was named, like Aegon's sister. There was no Visenya, but he said the dragon has three heads. What is the song of ice and fire?"
(...)
"Your Grace," he conceded, "the dragon has three heads, remember? You have wondered at that, ever since you heard it from the warlocks in the House of Dust. Well, here's your meaning: Balerion, Meraxes, and Vhagar, ridden by Aegon, Rhaenys, and Visenya. The three-headed dragon of House Targaryen—three dragons, and three riders."
(...)
When Brown Ben left, she lay back on her cushions. "If you were grown," she told Drogon, scratching him between the horns, "I'd fly you over the walls and melt that harpy down to slag." But it would be years before her dragons were large enough to ride. And when they are, who shall ride them? The dragon has three heads, but I have only one.
(...)
"No dragon has ever had three heads except on shields and banners," Armen the Acolyte said firmly. "That was a heraldic charge, no more. Furthermore, the Targaryens are all dead."
"Not all," said Alleras. "The Beggar King had a sister."
(...)
"The dragon must have three heads," he wailed, "but I am too old and frail to be one of them. I should be with her, showing her the way, but my body has betrayed me."
The prophecies in ASOIAF are always misunderstood. Danerys is no exception, as she's wrongly identifing people and their motives. One thing is for sure in all these mentions though, the "dragon heads" are meant to be people and one of them is Danerys.
Danerys thinks these three dragons are supposed to mimic the original trio, with herself as Aegon and two men she'll take as lovers as the two sister wives. This is where the misunderstanding is, because it's obvious from the framework that is backwards.
These at least she could rely on, or so she hoped . . . and Brown Ben Plumm as well, solid Ben with his grey-white hair and weathered face, so beloved of her dragons. And Daario beside him, glittering in gold. Daario and Ben Plumm, Grey Worm, Irri, Jhiqui, Missandei . . . as she looked at them Dany found herself wondering which of them would betray her next.
The dragon has three heads. There are two men in the world who I can trust, if I can find them. I will not be alone then. We will be three against the world, like Aegon and his sisters.
Danerys is a dumb bitch and the text shows us exactly how. The idea of Danerys being betrayed comes together with the other two heads. They're not lovers, they're betrayers. It occurs again in ADWD as she's in the Dothraki Sea, contemplentanting if the "king" betrayed her and a wolf answers in the distance.
The framework fits this foiled scenario. The original trio was a man married to both his sisters, but only he became king (later, only the man could rule according to Targaryen law). In contrast, Danerys is a woman (foil) and both her brothers are dead (foil), whom are replaced with nephews that have a bigger claim than her (foil) and whom will not be involved / married with her (foil).
It's also thematically relevant and poignant for the trios to be foiled. The Targaryen king dynasty started with an alliance between three dragons, it's fitting that it ends with a war between three dragons. It's what they've been threatening all along with the Dance of the Dragons after all.
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anxiouspotatorants · 3 years
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Whoopsy daisy I made a Shadow and Bone random thoughts post:
The costumes in this show are impeccable. I was drooling over all the keftas and the ball gowns in 1.05 and the crow outfits. Hell, even the winter-camo outfits that Mal, Mikhael and Dubrov wore in 1.04 were amazing.
Am I the only one who isn’t surprised by the kruge pronounciation? Because I thought it would sound like how English people say Scandinavian words and I wasn’t wrong.
Coming in to this show as someone who had only read the Six of Crows duology, I expected to at least tolerate Malina based on the trailer clips. I kid you not: less than five minutes into the very first episode they owned my ass. That might be a new record for me.
Seriously the friendship? The pining? The finding home in each other and being able to acknowledge their faults and apologize to each other? Both of them having massive “fight me” energy and protecting each other? Hugs?? Why am I surprised that I ship this?
Some of those scene transitions/flashback edits were so good! Like I know they repeated that meadow scene a lot throughout the season, but the cuts from kid-Mal looking at the rabbit to grown up Mal psyching himself up for the fist fight? Poetic cinema.
The Darkling was horrible and I love it. He wasn’t a carbon copy villain, nor did his complexity redeem him. He was a perfectly complex and understandable monster and I am living for it. I have not been so happy to despise a character in ages and I genuinely bow in gratitude to both the writers and Ben Barnes, because I finally got to enjoy watching a character I did not for one second root for ( #writevillainswellagain)
Look I already loved Jesper in the book but his on-screen translation elevated him from a fave to the fave. I was worried that they would push him into a comedic relief-role, but he got to keep both his heart, his depth, and his humour. Kit Young did an amazing job bringing what was already a great character on page to an even greater character on screen and I once again applaud.
Am I a bit bitter that the casting had some interesting choices for certain roles (aka hiring light skin and mid-size actors for explicitly darker skin and plus-size roles)? Kind of. Do I think there are important discussions worth having about this? Yup. Do I also think that every actor hired for Shadow and Bone did an amazing job and deserve zero hate and massive amounts of love? Also yes.
I had Alexei for one episode and one episode only, and I still miss that poor sucker. This show did a surprisingly good job with making me care about a massive amount of characters considering the screen time they had and the amount of episodes this season had. Good job.
For some reason I expected Inej to be a lot more brooding based on how I perceived her in the books but I love what Amita Suman did with her. Her translation completely recontextualised everything I remember from the books and just brought this truly fresh character to life. Assassin with a conscience indeed.
Also I did love the Kaz we got in this season but I can barely contain myself as I wait for season 2 to be made and for a certain flashback to take place because that moment in the book was visceral and it stayed with me for a long time and I knew before the show announcement that this flashback could become a television moment. 
Speaking of Kaz the crows were so chaotic and messy and I’m here for it. Their interactions with each other and their improvised back-up plans were everything. I somehow didn’t expect the crows to become the comedic relief of the season but it honestly makes so much sense.
A couple episodes in I still didn’t get the Zoya hype (remember I haven’t read the books) but was a massive Genya fan. By the end of the season I was like “oh both of these girls are getting redemption arcs and I am here for it”.
Speaking of redemption I still don’t like Matthias. I’m sorry but I just don’t. I get that he is important to many and that they like his relationship with Nina, but I just don’t have the patience for him and feel like Nina can do better. I still want him to get a redemption... but maybe not through a romance with the grisha woman he repeatedly slutshames, is bigoted towards and chokes at least once (twice if that SoC scene from book 1 happens). That being said this is just how I see him, so feel what ever you feel about him and ship to your heart’s content!
Alina’s journey through this season made complete sense to me. It hurt to see certain things, but they were necessary in my eyes. Seeing her go from this essentially insecure but brave girl to a manipulated pawn to an even stronger and more self reliant girl in spite of everything was amazing. It did feel like a well-written hero’s journey and I’m looking forward to seeing where she goes next.
Apparently a lot of book-readers don’t like Mal (and I am not here to change anyone’s mind about that) but the Mal I saw on the show was amazing. I actually kind of wish we had seen more of who he was outside of his relationship to Alina (f.ex. other flashbacks than the meadow, maybe something about any of his missions while separated from Alina pre-show), but I also loved what we got of him with Alina. We still got to see a guy who was brave, stubborn, flirtatious, a bit judgemental but with a strong sense of humour, and a lot of loyalty (to Alina but also to his friends). I can hardly wait to see what’s next for him.
Milo the goat. Where do I even begin. Not only did we get that Jesper-scene, but their farewell actually became a Chekhov’s gun for Mal in 1.07? Milo is the true hero of the season.
Speaking of 1.07 I loved the tent scene between Alina and the Darkling. She both got to be realistic about her feelings for the Darkling and stand up for herself and for others and call him out. The way I interpret the Darkling, he is the kind of villain who creates a saviour narrative around himself but cares more about power than anything else. He’ll say he’s doing everything to protect his people but is the first to kill the very people he claims to love. And Alina’s tent-speech really hammered that in for me.
I adore Baghra. Is she morally dubious? Yes. Was she incredibly mean to Alina during training to the point where it might have been excessive? Yes. Did she not take any of the Darkling’s bullshit and act as the proper mentor for Alina when the Darkling had said that he was going to train her? Yes. Am I kind of a Baghra stan now? I mean maybe.
The antler-collar was so evil and gross but from a visually narrative stand point it was perfect. 
Also I still have no idea who David is but I want redemption for him too. Honestly I feel like half the supporting cast is gearing up for redemption arcs next season and I am excited for most of them.
Nina’s reaction when she hears Kaz on the boat? Priceless. Actually the whole boat scene from when she goes up on deck again to the cut back to the fold was priceless.
That being said the final scene had me even more ready for season 2.
Jesper kind of gave me messy period-fantasy James Bond? Does that make sense?
And Mal kind of gave me Lois Lane energy? As in he’s the mortal love interest that many assume is the hero/heroine’s weakness but actually functions as their emotional strength and inspiration? Am I reaching here or am I getting somewhere?
Mikhael and Dubrov. What a duo. Absolute madlads.
Also I’d like to see more Nadia if that is possible? Because the few scenes we had of her had me intrigued but then she sort of disappeared? Is she going to be important or was she just more of a temporary supporting character? 
I entered this show a casual Six of Crows fan with mild interest in Kanej and I finished this season a mess. A mess who ships Kanej and Malina and Genya with that David guy even though they had about 30 seconds of screentime together and Zoya with redemption and Jesper with main-character status (hey we’re not getting Wylan until season 2 at least) and kind of those two Ravkan army guys and Nina with anyone else and Matthias with a better redemption storyline and the Darkling with karma! Also, a mess with a whole new set of comfort characters!
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cursing
summary: i can’t think of a plot so maybe something like the reader first joining the group and she’s rlly shy and innocent so all the losers don’t want her near richie but one day he tries talking to her alone but they get detention somehow bc of him so her and richie have to do work like cleaning up classes and he rubs off on her and she picks up his sayings so the losers freak out?
A/N: I’m so sorry it took me this long to write it, I hope you still enjoy though 
Richie Tozier is characterized by his crude remarks. Friends, peers, teachers and parent alike know that if they want their respective students, friends or children to behave and remain innocent, they best separate them by a mile from Richie himself. New kids are warned to scoot if Richie tries to approach them, and if you’re seen talking to him, it’ll come as no surprise to anyone that curse words will become your second nature.
The losers club, aka Richie’s friends, accept this about him - except for Stan, who maintains his near perfect grammar despite being Richie’s oldest companion- and would never try to withhold him from getting to know new people and forming a friendship, but that doesn’t mean they try to shelter said person on occasion.
The first day you arrived at Derry high, eyes casted downwards as to not initiate eye contact with anyone out of shyness, the losers knew that they had to keep Richie’s crude words and humor away from you. They approached you, and just like any descend peer and classmate would do, took you under their wings. It wasn’t a secret that you were a shy person, riddled with social anxiety and the apprehensiveness to stand up for yourself, but the losers had tricks up their sleeve to help you overcome that fear. They do after all have a lot of experience in that department.
Your calmness contradicts everything that Richie claims to stand for -he’d never openly admit to his softer, more well-spoken side-, and though there is nothing wrong with either, the losers still maintained that you had to be eased into getting introduced to Richie’s abrasive persona.
Richie still hung out with you plenty, in fact it seemed as if you and Richie developed the closest friendship out of all of them, but as soon as the first syllables of an explicate would be formed, the other losers would loudly cuff of gently nudge Richie to let him know to stop talking.
For the most part, at least in the beginning, Richie stuck to his promise he had made with the losers. He tried his best to not let any lewd langue’s slip around you, with the exertion of mom jokes - the losers couldn’t convince him to forgo those – and with a few misshapes not counted in, they rarely happened.
But then, unexpectedly and unfitting for you, both Richie and you get detention. Richie has gotten detention before, a lot in fact, but never had their timid, newest addition of the losers club been in any kind of trouble. It frustrated even Bev and Ben, and Richie of course, when Eddie, Stan and you ganged up on them to be the voice of caution, refusing to do anything remotely illegal or dangerous. So you getting detention was not something any of them ever saw happening.
It came as no surprise to find out Richie had pulled you into trouble with him, by babbling away in class and trying to get you to respond to his hyper antics in the middle of the class with the teacher every student feared most, Miss Michez. He would throw props of paper your way, write stuff on it and beg for you to respond to it, yell out random things until you caved in and laughed so hard you nearly snorted. Miss Michez, never one to allow any descriptiveness in her class, hurried to give Richie detention, and by default you, to find any reason to chase him out of her classroom.
It didn’t matter to her that today was the first day of the year that the sun actually warmed up the surface, and that a bunch of test were impending and the losers had hoped for one last day of relaxing. All she thought of was punishing her students.
The losers, already planning on hanging out that day, decided to wait for the two of you outside of the school, even knowing that you and Richie were likely to be stuck there for at least an hour after everyone else was dismissed.
They were waiting in a state of uncertainty. They’d never seen you upset, or sad before, and you might not be now either, but they had no idea what to expect. They didn’t know if you were the type of person to freak out over getting in trouble with elders, or if you didn’t care. Assuming you would be upset, the losers collectively bundle their pocket money and got to the store around the corner of the school and bought heaps of comfort food.
When they were done shopping, they made sure to loiter around the front of the school. A part of them was hopeful that Richie managed to keep you bright and happy and smiley, but they know that detention isn’t a joke so prepare for the worst.
At the hour and a half mark, the usual duration of detention on a Wednesday, Richie lanky body flew out the door, the door sweeping open and shut behind him. He had his arm tucked over your shoulders, and he laughed as he led you away from the - what he described as - grounds of hell.
‘G-g-uys, are y-y-you okay?’ Bill asks as soon as you and Richie are within reach. There’s no visible upset on your face, not as far as he can tell, but you might have just been covering it up very well.
‘What? Oh yeah we’re fine, the old hag couldn’t wait to get rid of us’, Richie laughs as he leads you closer to the group.
‘Yeah, I don’t think she realized she was setting herself up for more time with Richie’, you say as you duck under his arm. ‘Whatever, the bitch deserved it.’
Ben chokes on his own spit, while Beverly cackles so loud it’s surprising miss Michez doesn’t storm down the stairs to shush them.
‘Did you just curse?’ Stan grounds out, wide eyes looking at you like it’s the first time he has ever seen you.
‘Some people deserve it’, you answer, that same shyness the losers are so used of you coming back slowly. Apparently, the moment of brave boldness has come and gone. ‘Kind of like Eddie’s mom.’
Bev roars louder, holding herself up by a beam so she doesn’t fall over laughing. Eddie’s face turns white, and his gaze slowly, almost imperceptibly, shifts to Richie’s face. Then he states calmly; ‘I’m going to fucking kill you.’
Richie is granted three seconds to run.
253 notes · View notes
css1992 · 3 years
Text
Guilty Pleasure
[Porn AU]
Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.
All the warnings listed on Part I apply.
Read on AO3
Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue
-x-
As it turned out, Tony did make great pancakes. Peter woke up the next day to the smell of them, and shyly headed in the general direction it was coming from, until he reached the kitchen. Tony was standing there, wearing impeccable gray dress pants, a crisp white shirt and a green tie, as he added batter to a frying pan. Peter supposed that was what heaven would look like when he died.
“Oh, hey, kitten, you’re up.” He grinned at him, who smiled in return, nodding. He had put his clothes from the night before back on, and he was glad he did, because Tony was dressed to the nines and it would have been awkward if he had shown up in just his boxers or something. “Sleep well?”
“I did, thanks.” And it was surprisingly true. Peter hadn’t had such a good night’s sleep in a while, he supposed he missed sleeping next to someone. He did share a bed with Beck for two years, so it felt awfully lonely to sleep by himself. “Are you headed to work?” He asked as he sat on a stool by the kitchen island and Tony nodded guiltily, fixing two plates of pancakes.
“I’m so sorry, I tried to make arrangements to get the morning off, but duty calls.” To his credit, he did look genuinely sorry, so Peter thought maybe it wasn’t just an excuse to get rid of him. Maybe.
“It’s okay, I have to be home soon, or my friends will worry.” Which wasn’t exactly true, but not exactly a lie either. They wouldn’t notice he was gone until lunchtime, since they both had work or class in the morning, but when they did notice, they would freak out.
“I thought you lived by yourself?” Tony sounded interested as he sat beside him by the kitchen counter and pushed a plate his way. Peter thanked him, taking a bite of the surprisingly good pancake.
“I do, but we live in the same building, so we’re always checking in on each other.” Tony hummed, nodding, and they were silent for a little while, until the older man spoke up again.
“Can I ask about your relatives?” He felt his eyes on him and knew that, much like the night before, he was testing the waters, making sure Peter was comfortable with that subject.
“Sure. I don’t have any, though. I’m an orphan, I’ve lived in foster homes for most of my life.” Peter didn’t really mind talking about that period – it was basically all he knew. He was too little when his parents died and was only ten when Ben and May passed away, so the foster homes were where he made most of his memories.
“Oh. I’m so sorry to hear that.” Tony winced, maybe thinking he had touched a sensitive subject after all, but Peter smiled and shrugged.
“It’s okay, it was a long time ago. My friends are like family to me now, so I’m good.”
“I’m glad you have them.” Again, he gave him that genuine smile that made Peter believe he was actually glad to hear that. Like he actually cared. “So… Can I see you again? Or was this just a one time thing?” The older man turned his body to face Peter, who froze for a second with the mug held to his lips, mid-sip.
“Oh, uhm…” Peter almost chocked on the coffee, not quite believing his ears. He honestly thought that the older man would slowly disappear from his life. Or maybe not even that slowly. Peter figured he had gotten what he wanted, so why would he stick around? “I mean, sure. If you want.” He said, like an idiot, and Tony raised a brow.
“I really do, but I don’t mean to pressure you, so if you want to say no and just go back to what we had, that’s okay. Or not even that, if you prefer. Just say the word and I’ll get out of your hair.” He sounded honest enough, but Peter quickly shook his head, eyes wide.
“No, it’s okay, I definitely wanna do this again.” He assured him, and Tony seemed satisfied with his answer, expression softening as he nodded.
After breakfast, the older man insisted on driving him home and when they arrived at his building, he felt a little awkward as to how to say goodbye, but Tony made it easier by simply leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips, one hand stroking his knee in a gentle caress.
“I’ll call you later, kitten.” He promised and Peter just sighed quietly, feeling dizzy.
He was a little out of it for the rest of the day, both Ned and MJ asked what was wrong with him in separate occasions, but he just said he was tired from his new routine. They had dinner together and when he went back to his apartment that night, he was just mildly surprised that he actually got a call from Tony. It was an innocent, sweet phone call, too. He did not expect that, to be honest, they had been sexting for two months and they had actual sex the previous night, so he kind of expected Tony to just go for it.
But no.
He asked about his day, about his friends, he told him about his own day, then somehow they ended up talking a little bit about Peter’s childhood, his parents, aunt May and Uncle Ben, it was just a really nice chat, which he appreciated. Not that he didn’t enjoy talking dirty to Tony, but the fact that he called just to have a normal conversation with no second intentions was, well. Nice.
He didn’t really know where they were going with that, probably nowhere, really, Peter was an ex-porn star, Tony was an A-list celebrity, a billionaire and a fucking Avenger, so there was literally zero chance they could evolve to something else. They would probably just go out a few more times, have mind-blowing awesome sex, and then go their separate ways. And Peter was okay with that.
It was fine. Really. It was just fine.
And it was for the best, otherwise how would he explain to Ned and MJ that he was dating Tony Fucking Stark? It would be a nightmare. MJ would kill him and lecture him on how big corporations like Stark Industries were destroying their way of life and Ned would pass out – and possibly die – so, yeah. It was a good thing they had no real future together.  
That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy it while it lasted, though. Tony was really nice, a true gentleman, a good conversationalist, a great kisser and an amazing lay. So whatever he could get out of those moments they had together, he would. Everything was perfectly fine and under control. And did he mention fine?
The next morning, he woke up early and went for a jog around the block. He had been experimenting with different types of workout routines, but he thought he might stick with jogging and yoga for a while, he was even looking for a yoga studio close to his building so he could start training more seriously. When he got back, he took a long shower, made breakfast and spent a few hours answering people on Just4Fans, then posted a few pictures there, linked it to his twitter account and let people know on Instagram.
Tony texted him mid-morning and Peter blushed like a teenager when he read his message.
“Just saw the new pics, you look stunning as always, baby, but I have to admit I’m spoiled now, pictures are not enough. Can’t wait to see you again. Dinner tomorrow?”
“Flattery will get you everywhere, sir, keep it coming.” He smiled to himself and bit his lower lip, excited by the prospect of seeing Tony again so soon. “Tomorrow sounds great, where are we going? Should I start stressing about the dress code?”
“I was thinking you could come over. Did I mention that I’m a great cook? Pancakes aren’t my only specialty.” Peter felt butterflies in his stomach. It was stupid, of course, but he just found it endearing that Tony wanted to cook for him.
“I’d love to. I’m curious about your cooking, your pancakes did taste fantastic.” Just the thought of that morning and, more importantly, the night before that, made his mind wander, as a quiet sigh left his lips.
“Prepare to be blown away.”
“You’re so humble, I love that about you.” The young man smiled to himself.
“Thank you, kitten, it’s one of my many qualities.” Peter laughed at his antics.
They settled on a time and Tony insisted on picking him up, even though it was obviously inconvenient since they were having dinner at his place, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Peter gave in. They talked a little more, but soon Tony had to go back to work and now that the younger man knew exactly who he was, he imagined it was a lot of work.
He went on with his Saturday – in the afternoon, he took a few pictures and videos with different sets of lingerie he bought with MJ when they went to Victoria’s Secret, and that should be enough to last him at least a few days. At dinnertime, he went down to his friends’ apartment, as usual, and they were both home.
“What’s up, nerd,” MJ greeted from the couch, but didn’t raise her eyes from her phone.
“Hey, Pete, dinner is almost ready,” Ned called from the kitchen island.
“Want me to set the table?” He walked over to where Ned was fishing a plate out of the microwave.
“Sure.”
Peter knew his way around the kitchen, so he got to work, placing the plates and cutlery on the small, square table by the counter.
“Hey, are you up for a Star Trek marathon tomorrow night? I don’t have any classes next Monday morning, we can stay up late.”
“Oh, uhm. I –“ Fuck, he hadn’t really thought of an excuse for why he wouldn’t be having dinner with them. “I can’t, because…” He noticed that MJ had finally raised her eyes from her phone, only to stare at him suspiciously. “I have this thing, uhm, on my Just4Fans… Tomorrow night.”
“Can’t you just schedule the posts?” MJ asked from the couch, because of-fucking-course she knew about that.
“Uhm, yeah, I can, but – uhm. It’s a live stream. I’m live streaming tomorrow for the first time. It’s good for tips and stuff, so. Yeah. I’ve already let everybody know, I can’t cancel.” He gave them an apologetic smile, trying to look convincing, but he was pretty sure he just looked like a nervous wreck.
“Oh. Ok, then.” Ned shrugged and didn’t seem bothered at all, but MJ kept staring at him from the couch, like she could smell his bullshit from a mile away. She didn’t say anything, though, for which he was grateful.
The next morning, he woke up early and decided to skip his usual jog around the block and just did a short yoga session in his living room, warmed by the morning sun that flooded his apartment at that time. He had lunch with his friends and spent the afternoon with them, but left early with the excuse that he had to get ready for his “live stream”.
When the older man texted to say he was waiting outside, Peter was already showered and dressed and skipped downstairs two steps at a time. He didn’t know what he was supposed to wear to a billionaire’s house, but he decided casual was probably fine, so he put on a pair of light blue jeans and a light pink, thin sweater.
Tony was driving a low-profile, black SUV and he got out of the car when Peter stepped outside the building. He had a baseball cap and tinted glasses on, dark blue jeans, a Metallica t-shirt and sneakers, and if Peter didn’t know it was him, he would never have thought that was actually Tony Stark.
“Hey, gorgeous, looking good.” Tony didn’t think twice before reaching out to pull him closer by the hips, stealing a chaste kiss from his lips. Peter blushed and completely forgot he should be worried that Ned or MJ might see them if they came downstairs for something, or even if they looked out the living room window. He wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck and deepened the kiss.
“Thanks, but you should get your eyes checked.” He joked as he let go, taking a small step back.
“Yeah, I think so too, I think constantly staring at such beauty is taking a toll on my eyesight, I’m an old man, after all.” Tony pulled him by the chin and stole yet another kiss. When he pulled away,  Peter shook his head and laughed.
“Oh my God. Seriously, do you practice these lines in the mirror or something?” He had a feeling that if it was anyone else saying half the things Tony said to him daily, he would find it corny and possibly annoying, but somehow the older man made everything sound charming, sweet, sexy, endearing – hell, everything at once. And he always knew what to say to make Peter’s knees go weak, it was unnerving sometimes.
“No, you just inspire me daily, baby.” He gave him a charming smile, as he opened the door and gestured for Peter to get in the car.
The ride to Tony’s place was filled with the sound of the older man humming along to the music playing. Peter didn’t recognize any of the songs, it was a classic rock playlist, but then he heard a familiar beat and thought it was a great opportunity to stick his foot so deep inside his mouth he almost choked.
“I love Led Zeppelin!” He didn’t exactly love Led Zeppelin and he was quite sure he had just heard a cover of that song, not the original version, but he thought he’d sound cool if he said that. When he looked over, though, Tony was laughing his head off. Peter blushed a deep crimson, eyes widening as he realized he must have said something incredibly dumb.
“Oh, you’re not joking.” Finally seeming to realize that the younger man wasn’t laughing along with him, Tony turned down the volume, as they approached Stark Tower’s garage entrance. “That’s Back in Black by AC/DC, kitten. But hey, I love Zeppelin, too, who doesn’t?” He smiled warmly, looking at him sideways, and Peter nodded.
“Oh, right. Yeah. Of course.” Fuck his life. Of course he had to make a complete fool of himself right at the beginning of the night. He wanted to jump out the window from embarrassment, but it would only add to his humiliation, since Tony had already parked and got out of the car.
The older man opened the door for him and Peter avoided eyes contact, as he led him to the elevator. He could still feel his cheeks burning on the ride up, his head was starting to hurt from shame. Was that a thing?
“Hey, don’t be like this.” Tony pulled him into a loose hug, kissing his temple with a soft smile on his lips. “It was an honest mistake. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to identify whatever it is you kids listen to these days.”
It was oddly comforting to hear that. Even though he knew Tony wasn’t trying to be mean to him back in the car, it was hard not to feel attacked in situations like that. Beck always tried to make him feel dumb, inferior and juvenile whenever he got the chance.
So he rested his head on Tony’s shoulder and nodded slowly. He was going to say something like “don’t worry, I’m fine” but it got lost somewhere in the back of his throat when the older man held him a little tighter and stroked his hair.
The whole interaction lasted merely a few seconds, soon the elevator doors opened to the familiar sight of Tony’s living room, looking just as impeccable as it did a couple of nights earlier. The older man gestured for Peter to lead the way and he did, paying closer attention to the details, since he was a little too nervous to do it the last time he was there.
What he realized when he took a look around, was that the penthouse didn’t look lived in at all. It was all glass and metal, shiny floors and sophisticated furniture, black and gray decoration – it looked ready to be featured in one of those shows that listed the most beautiful houses in the world, but it didn’t look like a place he would like to go back to at the end of the day.
“You don’t spend a lot of time here, do you?” Peter asked, as Tony led them in the direction he remembered the kitchen and the dining room were.
“That obvious, huh?” The older man winced and Peter flushed, realizing he might have been a little rude in his observation. “But yeah, when I’m home, I spend most of my time down in the workshop.”
“Ah, the famous workshop. I suppose if I were to visit right now there would be pictures of me hanging on every wall?” He joked, remembering that Tony had once told him that he would hang his pictures in the workshop and never get any work done.
“I mean, not every wall…” He turned to him and winked, leaving the younger man a little unsure if he meant it or if he was just messing around. Sometimes it was hard to tell with the man’s sarcastic sense of humor. “I’ll give you a tour after dinner.” He promised, when they finally reached the dining room.
The table was set in a simple manner, for what Peter was glad, it made him feel more comfortable and at ease. Tony pulled out a chair for him then headed to the kitchen, which was separated from the dining room only by a long, wide counter, where the had breakfast the other day.
The man came back with wine, pouring two glasses for them, then he started placing the dishes on the table. There was mashed potatoes, grilled veggies and roast chicken, and the smell was to die for, Peter’s stomach rumbled and he wasn’t even that hungry.  
“Voilà. This was my favorite meal as a kid, my grandma used to make this for me all the time when I spent summers with her.” He took a seat across from Peter, looking at him expectantly. The younger man found his enthusiasm amusing, so he fixed a plate under Tony’s eager supervision. “Tell me what you think. But be nice, I haven’t cooked this in a while, it might be a little dry.”
Peter took a bite of the chicken first, and it took him a few moments to feel the explosion of flavors on his tongue. The meat was tender and juicy, cooked to perfection, and the seasoning tasted inexplicably like home – it didn’t taste like something he could order at a restaurant, let alone a frozen meal he could buy at the supermarket. He then tried the mashed potatoes along with the grilled veggies and almost cried.
“Tony, this is so good, have you considered dropping everything and starting a restaurant?” he gushed, taking another bite of the chicken only to confirm that, yes, that was probably what paradise tasted like.
“Don’t exaggerate. I already like you plenty, kitten, you don’t need to flatter my cooking skills.” Tony smiled, shaking his head lightly, and if Peter didn’t know any better, he might think he was blushing.
“I’m not, this is seriously the best homemade meal I’ve ever eaten,” he insisted and Tony cocked his head to the side, with a confused smile and a frown
“What the hell have they been feeding you, kid?” He asked and Peter chuckled.
“Well, I spent most of my life in foster care and I was never lucky enough to end up in a family that liked to cook.” The families he stayed with weren’t bad – not compared to some of the horror stories he heard from other foster kids he met in the past – they just weren’t good. They provided him with the bare minimum for survival, so water and enough food to avoid starvation. “And uncle Ben and aunt May, dude… They couldn’t cook for shit.” He laughed, remembering Aunt May’s date loaf, which was probably the worst thing he had ever tasted in his life.
“Well, now I feel obligated to feed you properly,” Tony announced, and Peter quickly shook his head, feeling his face grow red for the hundredth time that night.
“Oh, no, you don’t need to, I wasn’t–”
“I want to, if I’m your only source of good, homemade food, then I’m taking this seriously, kitten.” He pointed a fork at him as he spoke. “And you can help me cook, what do you say? That way I can teach you a thing or two so you won’t starve to death.” Again, the idea that Tony wanted to cook for him was too sweet. He was an incredibly busy guy who probably didn’t even cook for himself, but he was willing to waste that kind of time on Peter. It just–
“Sounds amazing.” He smiled, nodding, and the older man’s face softened when their eyes met.  
“Good.” He took a sip of wine and topped off both of their glasses. “Did you tell your friends you were coming here today?” That seemed like a polite way to ask if they knew about him, and Peter wasn’t sure what kind of answer he was expecting.
“No, they think I’m home.” He watched the man’s face, waiting for his reaction, but there was none, so Peter felt like he should explain himself further. “After my ex – they’re just a little too overprotective, so, you know. I just don’t want them to worry.” Tony raised his eyebrows and Peter’s eyes widened, realizing what that might have sounded like. “Not that I think you’re my – that we’re – I mean, I’m not assuming anything, I just meant –“
“Hey, it’s okay, I know what you mean.” He reached across the table to squeeze one of his shaking hands. “Your friends sound like good people, by the way. You’re lucky to have them.”
“Thanks.” Tony smoothly changed the subject and started talking about his summers with his grandmother and how she taught him everything he knew about cooking. He said that was the reason why his repertoire consisted only of comfort food and Peter thought that was the sweetest thing he had learned about him so far.
Once dinner was done with, Tony kept his promise and gave him a tour. The place looked like a labyrinth made of glass and steel, there were five floors, several rooms with various purposes, but everything seemed sterile and impersonal, like nobody ever stepped foot in any of those places, which somehow made them look lifeless and even a little scary – like a ghost town of sorts. Peter couldn’t help but think that his tiny, mostly empty apartment felt more like a home than all five floors of Tony’s.
Well, all except for one.
“And this is the workshop,” Tony declared with a flourish when the glass doors slid open, revealing a wide, open space filled with worktables, holographic screens, robots, cars, Iron Man suits, and so many other things he had never seen before in his life. “Sorry about the mess.” He didn’t sound sorry, though, he sounded happy and proud, and Peter thought it was the only place in the penthouse that felt weirdly cozy and homey. To his relief – and secret disappointment –, there were no pictures of him in lingerie hanging on the walls.
“This is amazing…” Peter breathed out, realizing that that was Tony’s actual home. There was even a kitchenette in a corner, and next to it there was a small, cozy couch in front of a reasonably sized TV and a fluffy rug. He supposed Tony took naps there, too, because there was also a blanket draped over the back of the couch.
He walked over there, followed closely by the older man, and took a seat, sinking into the soft pillows.  
“I think this is my favorite room.” He blinked up at Tony, who regarded him silently for a few moments, and Peter started to think he had fucked up again. “What?” He whispered, but his answer came in the form of a kiss. He immediately melted into it, all worries flying out the window as he opened his mouth to taste him better.
Tony pushed him gently until he was lying on the couch with his larger body on top of him, and he’d be lying if he said that wasn’t the best feeling in the world.
It was a tight fit, but they made it work, as pieces of clothes were thrown to a pile on the floor; as skin met skin and made the room feel unbearably hot; as hands explored and mouths danced together and teeth left secret claiming marks on eager necks; as he felt, once again, full and sate and whole, and then spent and lax and dazed in the best of ways.
Suddenly, what had been frantic and passionate became slow and soft, what had been loud and messy became quiet and wholesome.  
The room was silent then, as their bodies slowly cooled down. Tony was lying on his back on the couch and Peter was lying on top of him, chests flush together, breathing in and out in sync. He felt a blanket being draped over his shoulders and he all but melted into the body underneath him.
“Can I ask you a question?” He whispered quietly into Tony’s neck, after several minutes, not sure if the older man had fallen asleep, his breathing was slow and constant.
“Baby, you could ask me anything right now, there’s no way I’d say no to you.” He answered right away and Peter giggled, pushing himself up on Tony’s chest to look down at him.
“Why did you want to meet me? For real?” Tony, whose eyes had been closed until that moment, opened them to gaze at him. He was quiet for a while, as one of his hands found the small of Peter’s back under the blanket and started rubbing circles on his skin.
“I liked talking to you.” He answered quietly, eyes locked on his. At first, Peter thought that was all the answer he was getting, and he would have been fine with that, but Tony kept talking. “You made me feel alive again.” His heart raced and his breath hitched in shock. He blinked down at the older man, who raised his free hand to tuck some of Peter’s curls behind his ear. “You see, things were… rough. After Thanos.” He remembered the funny story Tony told him in the restaurant a few nights earlier and was surprised to see such grief in the man’s eyes. “I had these nightmares. Anxiety attacks. Couldn’t sleep most nights.”
Peter reached out and ran a finger across the man’s forehead, trying to smooth down the frown that had formed there. Tony smiled, grabbing that hand to give it a little kiss.
“Pepper wanted me to give up the suit for good, said it was killing me and she wouldn’t stand by and watch it happen. On top of that, my relationship with some of the Avengers was strained, to say the least. I thought retiring from the Avengers would be enough to solve most of my problems, but I was wrong and everything just kind of snowballed from there. So what I mean to say is that by the time I met you, I was… Fucking exhausted.”
“Tony...” He frowned, heart clenching, because he could hear the pain in the man’s voice and how much he meant every word and it was devastating.  
“I looked forward to talking to you every night, you know. Still do. I don’t why you got under my skin like that, but you did. So when I said I needed to meet you, I meant I needed to meet you.” He smiled and Peter’s heart skipped a beat. The whole confession was almost too much to handle, too much to believe. At the same time, he knew what Tony meant because he had also been in a very dark place when they met and, somehow, talking to him brought some light back into his life. “My turn?”
“Sure.” Peter smiled, entwining his fingers on Tony’s chest and resting his chin on top of them, looking at the older man��s face.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer, I have a feeling this might be a bit of a touchy subject for you.” He cautioned, and Peter gulped. He knew what was coming and he thought about not answering, but Tony had been honest with him, so he took a deep breath and nodded.
“O-okay.”
“How did you end up doing porn? Not that it’s bad or anything, you just sounded so uncomfortable the other night... Like you’re ashamed of it, or regretful.” Tony asked carefully, one of his hands was still rubbing soothing circles on the skin of his back.
“Hm… Well. It’s complicated. I guess the short answer is: I was young and dumb and my older boyfriend convinced me it was a good idea. Then he left me and took all the money and everything we’ve ever built with him and – and now the only thing I know how to do is porn, so… Yeah.” It was a very short version of what happened, but very accurate as well. Tony frowned, raising an eyebrow.
“What do you mean he took everything?”
“He told me to pack a bag and leave. Whatever I couldn’t fit in my bag stayed behind, as well as the social media accounts, the channel, the money… He locked me out of everything.” Peter’s voice grew weaker as he spoke, because he felt so fucking ashamed. Of everything. Of admitting he let a man like Quentin into his life, that he made so many terrible decisions just so he could stay with him, only to be treated like that in the end. It was fucking humiliating.
Tony sat up in a haste, forcing him to do the same, until they were both facing each other on the couch. The older man’s eyes were wide, he looked so shocked it was almost funny. Almost.
“Peter, that’s – why – wait, and what do you mean he convinced you to do porn? Is it not something that you want to do?” Peter dropped his gaze for a second, not really sure what the true answer to that question was. If he was honest with himself, most times he just avoided thinking too much about what he was doing.  
“Well… I don’t hate it anymore, I guess,” he settled on that, after a few minutes of silence. “Sometimes I even enjoy it now, like… Like when we talk,” he mumbled the last part, raising his eyes again to look into Tony’s warm ones, and the older man looked back at him with – what? Worry? Regret? Guilt?
“So you hated it? Before?” He insisted, and Peter knew he could still choose not to answer if he wanted to, Tony wouldn’t force it out of him, but still – Peter wanted to tell him. He wanted Tony to know.
To know him. All of him. Even the parts that hurt.
“I did.” He whispered, holding back the tears that filled his eyes when the confession left his lips, because that was something that he never wanted to acknowledge. It took all he had to hold Tony’s gaze and not look away in shame. “I just felt… kinda shitty sometimes. Like… I wasn’t even human, just an object to be used and abused and disposed of.” He continued, swallowing a lump in his throat. He couldn’t read Tony’s expression, but his eyes were gentle as always, there was no judgment there. “I didn’t feel like my body belonged to me anymore.” Saying that aloud came almost as a surprise to Peter himself. He always tried so hard not to think about those feelings he almost believed they didn’t really exist, even though they were always there at the back of his mind.
“Pete...” Tony cupped his face in both of his hands, he looked so torn, it almost made Peter regret telling him.
“I’m doing okay now, I promise. I’m in control of my body, my choices, my money. I’m fine now, really,” he vowed and Tony pulled his head closer and pressed their lips together – it wasn’t even a kiss, just a caress.
“I can help you.” He offered with determination, holding his face in his hands, looking straight into his eyes and they were burning with anger, but Peter knew it wasn’t directed to him. “I can help you get everything back, I can make his life a living hell for doing that to you, I can –“
“Please, don’t,” He winced, shaking his head firmly, lifting his hands to hold Tony’s wrists, feeling his pulse and how fast his heart was beating. “Okay? It’s in the past. It’s over now. I don’t want to – relive it, I just want to forget.” His heart raced when the older man closed his eyes and started shaking his head. “Tony?”
“Peter, you can’t ask me to –“
“I am asking you leave it alone.” He insisted, a little desperately, but Tony’s face was locked in a frown and panic started creeping up on him. He couldn’t bear to think about confronting Beck, having to see him again, maybe talk to him again, he just wanted to move on, to forget he ever existed. His eyes burned and he closed them, trying to get his breath under control, but he could feel his hands shaking. “Please, please, don’t make me –“
“Hey, no, no, no.” Tony gathered him in his arms, rubbing his shoulders in a soothing way. “I’m sorry, no, I would never force you to do anything, okay? It’s your choice.” He cupped his face in his hands again, peppering kisses on his cheeks and forehead. Peter started calming down slowly, and even laughed a little when the man’s beard tickled his nose. “You know that I see you, right? And I mean I see you, Peter Parker, not the persona in the videos or the pictures, and you sure seem pretty fucking human to me, kid. You know that, right?” Tony kept holding his head in between his hands, forcing Peter to look back at him, which wasn’t necessary, he couldn’t look away if he tried.
He smiled, nodding slowly, leaning in to kiss his lips. The older man lay back down, pulling him along, until they were back to their original position. He rested his head on Tony’s chest and closed his eyes, sighing in relief.
He felt Tony wrap his arms around his waist, holding him tight, and he thought to himself that if heaven looked like Tony making breakfast in the morning and tasted like his cooking in the evening, it certainly felt like holding him at night.
-x-
Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list):  @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud @staticwhispersinthedark @bluestarker
Sorry for the long chapter, guys, it really got away from me 🥴 Only four more chapters to goo ✨✨
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crystal-moon-101 · 3 years
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Right! So I’ve decided to do some redesigns again, planning on doing the main villains of Generator Rex, Ben 10 and The Secret Saturdays. Vilgax and Argost will be coming up soon, but I thought I’d start with Van Kleiss, as this fellow has been an interest of mine for sometime, in terms of the potential of his character. Unlike the other two, I’ve always just...felt like Van Kleiss didn’t need to be dog kicking evil to be a villain for Rex, that being evil for the sake of evil wasn’t something they needed to do to make him and Rex opposed to each other. I’m not saying to make Van Kleiss soft hearted and kind to every person he meets, but add more of a complicated story to him, show more to this man than just a jerk who likes being a jerk. After all, this is a show about things not being so black and white. So I shall share my rewrite background for him! I should also note that I mentioned in the Hong Kong Gang redesign that Circe is his daughter, so that will tie into this. Warning for mentions of deaths by illnesses and murder!
“Van Kleiss is a man you could say has not had the easiest of life, especially when it comes to social things. Raised by strict parents with high expectations, he felt like he was never good enough for them, eventually kicked out of their home for not living up to their ideals. He wasn’t exactly good with making things either, coming off as odd, a strong loner who was easy to mess with. Most of this resulted in him being anti-social for quite sometime, afraid to reach a out hand to people incase they bite back. Then, while trying to live his young adult life the best he could with what he had, he was caught up in a terrible accident, one that resulted in him losing his left arm. He was stuck in recovery for a long time, with no visitors of course. He was quite use to being alone at this point, a cast out in people’s eyes, so you could imagine his surprise when meeting his physiotherapy, a bright, young woman around his age by the name Cassandra, who was in no way put off by Van Kleiss’s demeanor. He will admit, he was taken aback by how pleasant she was, so chipper and ready to strike up a conversation with him, kind and gentle towards him as she helped him learn to live with a prosthetic, and yet would also respect his boundaries, treating him....human, for a lack of a better word. At first, Van Kleiss was keen to just stay quiet and ignore her, mostly uttering how short sentences to try and make things process quicker. But there was just something about her that made him feel alright, calm, as if those walls he built up to protect himself weren’t needed when she was around. It was like some strange magic Cassandra had, slowly able to get him to open up more, share stories, ideas, goals, dreams, thoughts, never once judging Van Kleiss for the person he is, while others had been so quick to. Quite the people pleasing person she was, the opposite to Van Kleiss, but he wasn’t complaining, especially when the fool started realizing his he beginning to fall head over heels for this woman. He was a bumbling mess when asking her out the first time, and yet it somehow worked. Life seemed to be going up hill since then, the two hitting it off so fast, becoming a couple, then finances, and suddenly marriage was right around the corner. And just when Van Kleiss felt like he didn’t need anyone else other than her, another surprise came in the presence of their daughter, Circe. A family life wasn’t something he had thought about, nor did he think he would ever get the chance, but here he was and he was happy to be there, he had even gone back to school to study. But...he bad luck in life would soon return. Circe had only just turned five when it began to happen, and no one had seen it coming. Cassandra was starting to seem off, tired, dizzy and feeling faint often, at first assuming it was the flu or something...but she didn’t get better, instead getting worse. She started collapsing, struggling to breath, eventually coughing up blood. She had gotten sick, a disease infecting her that had no known cure. The best they could do was pray that she could recover, could beat it, after all she was a tough woman, with a lot of hope and love from her family. Sadly, love isn’t always going to be enough, and Cassandra passed away after saying her final goodbyes to her daughter and husband... Struck with grief, Van Kleiss went quiet, a haze with his manners. He wanted to scream, cry, yell at the world for taking away his love, the one who showed him why he should keep going in life. But he didn’t allow himself, for he had to keep himself steady for the sake of his daughter. Circe needed him, and he was afraid to see what would happen if he gave into those painful feelings of grief inside him. So he locked it away, and pushed forward in life, eventually graduating school and began looking for a job. He applied and worked for a few places, but none of them really stick, especially since he still struggled to get along with people. Many were still uncomfortable around him, or quick to crack a nasty joke at his expense. He did his best to ignore it, again locking it all away, pushing forward for him and his daughter. And then, one day, he caught word of a project in the making. The nanite project, rumors of microscope machines being built to do many tasks, like solve world hunger, regrow limbs and even cure disease. The thought of something able to help others survive something his wife could not...it caught Van Kleiss’s interest, something he could do to honor his late wife. And so, after some applications and interviews, Van Kleiss eventually found himself landing a role in this project, which also meant him and Circe would move to the labs location. It was hard to pull Circe away from the life she already knew, but he felt it was for the better. But there were to noticeable issues right away. Again, the way people saw and treated him, and his general demeanor sparked some problems with other scientists. Most kept it professional, but many cast doubtful or harsh clears his way, or mutter whispers about him. He was use to most of this, though...he did end up caught in quite the nasty rivalry with a certain man. Caesar Salazar. Neither of them knew exactly why, but right from the bat the two did not like each other. Maybe it was because they were similar in many ways, maybe it’s because they both were bad a socializing, maybe each other’s backgrounds caused some sparks. They just could not stand each other, quick to criticize the other and speak badly. It did help that Van Kleiss felt like he had no one backing him up, as many were already familiar with the Salazars and were even friends with them, while Van Kleiss was alone in the ordeal. Strangely though, the opposite could be said with the younger brother, Rex Salazar. It didn’t take long for Circe and Rex to meet and become friends, given they were the only two kids there, which often resulted in Van Kleiss watching and babysitting the two in his lab space, sometimes even getting dragged into their games. He was happy that his daughter wouldn’t be lonely out here, but Rex being her friend wasn’t why he thought the kid was good, it was rather his friendship with Van Kleiss himself. Rex was a lovely kid, very kind and understanding for his age. While he cracked jokes and often got into trouble, he treated Van Kleiss like a human being, and often liked talking to the man and asking him many questions. Van Kleiss was a little stand-offish at first, but the kid managed to soften his heart a little. Things seemed to be going as good as they could for a while, but then things started happening. It first started with Rex’s accident. Van Kleiss had been watching Circe and Rex, but when he got caught in something, the two snuck off to play hide and seek. Next thing anyone knew, Rex got caught in a lab accident in the main nanite room. It took a while to get him out of there, as there had been a lock down to prevent any loss nanites to escape, but he was quick to be rushed to the medical section of the labs. He was found to be close to death, with no normal means to save him, but Rex also had a few nanites in him from the accident. However, instead of taking them out, the nanite project group, including Van Kleiss, decided in the end to try and use the nanites to save him, with the help of the Omega to the side. After a long struggle, it eventually began to work. Things became complicated for Rex, now being used in testing, developing strange technological powers he was struggling to control, now feeling off...different. Van Kleiss and Circe were there to support him, but because Van Kleiss had been the one who was suppose to watch him before the accident, there was tension between the Salazar and Kleiss families. Eventually, while there were new changes, lab life started to go back to focusing on the project, even a new member called Ebony Hale (Black Knight) joining as an assistant. Things started going back to normal, or as normal as they could be, until that fateful day. Word got out in the chief scientist that their sponsors, The Consortium, had no only put a unknown spy among them, but were planning to use the nanites to take over the world. A large debate broke out on what to do, some arguing to destroy the nanites and all the data on them, some saying to keep the project going but find a way to keep the Consortium out of it, and some even saying they just wanted to do the project and didn’t care if the Consortium taking control. Van Kleiss was part of the side saying to keep the work, but kick out the Consortium. But eventually it was decided to destroy the project. But the spy must have caught wind of this, as while they began to remove their work, the Consortium sent in a heavily armed team to take out everyone on the project. During the chaos many things happened. Not having time to get rid of everything, members of the project decide to give Rex the Omega to hold onto, as he has enough experience with nanites to handle it for a few hours. Van Kleiss did try to say otherwise, not thinking it was fear on Rex, especially when his parents and Caesar agreed to this. In the end they did end up giving Rex the Omega, with the plan that he would meet Caesar at the docking bay. Van Kleiss had originally wanted to go with him and take Circe, but next thing they knew armed soldiers came in and everyone spilt. Rex managed to wander by as not only did the soldiers have no interest with the kid, but Ebony, who turned out to be the spy, ended up letting him past without knowing what he was hiding. Van Kleiss and Circe ended up running into Rex’s parents, who were busy trying to wipe the computers. The three parents got into quite the arguments, with Van Kleiss eventually leaving the room with his daughter, only to be confronted by some soldiers. They noted that the room that Van Kleiss just left was locked, so they made him an...offer. Either he unlocks the door and let them in, or they kill him and Circe where they stand. Despite how harsh the Salazars were on Van Kleiss, even he didn’t want to make this choice...but after everything, and looking down at his own daughter...he made the choice to let them in, holding his daughter as they heard gun fire. With everything coming to a head, it suddenly happened. With scientist messing with computers and machines, soldiers raining bullets everything, and Rex off somewhere glitching out with the Omega, it just became too much and the nanite event happened. A massive explosion that sent out a wave of unfinished nanites across the world, and for Van Kleiss, everything went white briefly... Then, he opened his eyes...finding himself feeling different. To his shock, he found himself to be mutated, his prosthetic arm gone, now replaced with an arm of wood and vines, a deep connection to the earth around him. Thankfully, his daughter was still by his side, but she two had changed, with the agility to emit a powerful scream. As days turned to weeks and then to months, Van Kleiss found himself turning his old home into something new...into a place that him and the out cast could belong into...But after everything that happened, the things he lost and was hurt by, he began to put up those walls again. He could no longer risk getting attached, not if he were to complete his goals....” And there we go! My tale about Van Kleiss in my rewrite. It does go into other things that I will eventually write down that happened in this rewrite, but it’s a good place to start as any. I wanted to give him a tragic back story, something that shows why he behaves the way he does today, and how it ties into his goals. I like the idea that he does believe in the dream of turning everyone EVO and ruling them, but so that he can start a new age and era where people don’t have to be out casts anymore. After all, if everyone is different a monster, then no one can be judged, at least in his mindset. So Abysus is a safe haven for EVOs that need a home, and he does want the best for his subject. The only problem is that one, Van Kleiss doesn’t want to get deeply attached to anyone, as many past friendships eventually failed on him, so it’s bound to happen again, and two, he can get a little power made because well, he’s spent so long being the underdog and kick to the ground, so it feels great to be able to be the one standing tall. It also helps make him feel like Rex’s opposite, not only with the nature vs technology design for the two, but the idea that one is someone who wants to get attached to people, while the other is someone who doesn’t want to get attached anymore. A tragic hero and a tragic villain, who have history tied together. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my version of Van Kleiss, and for hearing me ramble! 💙
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Spider-Man no way home spoilers
I don't know why people keep forgeting, that Peter was that friendly neigberhood spiderman since the begining. He helped people in suit made by himself, before Tony showed up in his life. He and May never had money, the only expensive thing that he had was a gift from Tony. His last fight with Voultron was in his own suit. He even didn't joined Avengers because he wanted to stay on the ground and help minors.
He became Avengers only when he followed Tony to space because he wanted to help.
It piss me of that after NWH people keep saying that now Peter is truly a Spider-Man. Since when beeing alone, and poor, and having homemade suit makes someone that? What makes Spider-Man is his kindness and sellfnesses and his pure heart and Peter had all of that since the begginig.
Peter never needed an uncle Ben moment to realized that he should use his powers for good, because he already knew that. That's what he told Tony, when he asked him why he does what he does: when he could do what you can do and you don't do anything then if something bad happens that's on you. He was only 15 when he said that. So why May said it anyway?
People say that they never saw Peter so angry as he was when he fought Osborn at the end, but that rage was there since the Mysterio.
After what happened with Beck and everything that followed it, Peter got lost and forget that anyone deserves second chance and that no one deserves to die, and you should at least try to help them if you can. When he said that he will send everyone back, because they're not his responsibility and he doesn't care anymore, that was he's lowest point. There was May, who even despite the fact that she got deadly hurt, because of them, told him that it's wrong, and that he needs to help them. That was he's uncle Ben moment. He needed that reminder of what he knew all along.
Maybe Peter is not the most powerfull avenger or a superhero, but he's the one with the purest heart. That's why he somehowe along the way become my favorite. He always put others before himself, and never gives up even in the dimmest of the circumstances, and partly it's because he had such an amazing people in his life who tought him that. Even if they gone now, they will always be reflected in what he does in the future.
Even if I know Peter will be fine on his own, I will sue Sony and MCU if MJ, Ned and Happy won't remember him in the next movie. I love all of them too much to stand for that.
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triframbles · 3 years
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Collateral Damage
Part five: Tom Davis
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Summary: (Previous part here) (F!Reader insert) It’s hard to wake up from a dream when you’re so sure it feels real. But when everything that has happened makes it harder and harder to ignore the fact that the dream is just memories, you also realize how hard it is to continue dreaming once you know it isn’t reality.
A/N w/ *Warning: Language, angst (?) mentions of Redfly’s death, injury, guilt, mourning, etc. While this part of the series is titled after everyone’s least favorite character Redfly, it doesn’t include that much of the movie canon character. But he couldn’t be forgotten as we get closer to the end of this series.
Word count: 3,041 | Reading time: ~12 minutes
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Redfly had never been the easiest person to get along with. Even when you had first met him, before the call sign had come about, and he was just Tom Davis. But it was a pretty well known fact that he knew it too, and didn’t plan on changing the fact. Nothing if not consistent, you supposed. It felt like it’s own kind of strange friendship, the way that you two interacted with one another within the group of six. Sometimes it was made up mostly of just glances across the table when all of you would get together, or the small waves he would give on the runway while you’d wave back and hoped he knew that you were glad he was home even if he never gave you the chance to say it to his face. The times that you liked to linger on, the ones that made you feel least unsure of your relationship with him, were the small moments of complete acceptance he gave you.
While they were often presented in small nods or mumbles compliments after he’d pulled you away from the group, you enjoyed the way he wouldn’t forget to let you know how he appreciated or otherwise enjoyed something you did or said. He made sure to let you know, as if he knew himself that it was the way you felt validated in your standing with him. You didn’t mind if that was the reason he did it either, because it was nice to get that validation from him sometimes. Because there were certainly times throughout your time knowing him that he didn’t grant you that, and those times made you feel like you were standing on unstable ground. 
The most unsure times in your time knowing Redfly were the ones where he kept silent, leaving the small comments and nods to fall to the wayside and leave you wondering. Sometimes it left you feeling like you had somehow intruded on their group. Most of the time though, it was only a slight tinge of worry on the fact. It made you think about it no more than when Ben would tell stories about people that everyone at the table knew but you. It never quite felt like Redfly was implying you didn’t belong, but merely that you had arrived a little late. 
After the forced retirement, though, things changed. It would have seemed sudden, and to most people it might have, but you noticed when it started. When the glances he made across the table started becoming colder and harder to interpret as annoyance or simple regard. Then, the glances stopped altogether and it almost seemed like he would pretend you weren’t there at all. Like he could just choose when you existed or didn’t. But, it still never felt like he was trying to keep you out, necessarily. Just away, maybe. 
And yet, you were still sure within some part of yourself that the good memories outweighed the bad. That’s exactly what you are reminded of now, as you think back on each one, even though they almost seem too real to be memories at all. Maybe dreams. Maybe that’s what they are. Because memories don’t usually feel as real as this.
“I’m not scared Ben, I’m nervous. There’s a difference.” You laugh as you work to pull your jacket back on, “and I have a right to be nervous” you added. Being in the front seat of his brother’s car made it a bit more difficult to pull on the jacket, for the lack of space, but you let out a sigh of success once you finally get your arm through the sleeve again. 
“You don’t have to be nervous though, Frankie and I are going to be right there.” His smile was wide as he looked over at you, one arm resting over the steering wheel as he leaned his forehead against it. “Plus, Will is my brother,” he sits up straight, “It’ll be like talking to another me.” His expression shifts slightly, the smile on his face  turning into more of a mischievous grin as you rolled your eyes.
“Every story I have ever heard you and Francisco tell me about your brother tells me that you two are almost nothing alike,” You deadpan, and he shrugs before laughing. You huffed slightly as you sat back in the car seat, sinking down slightly as you crossed your arms over your chest and you almost began to feel childish as you sat with your nerves. “I feel like i’m about to go into some kind of interview,” you decide, “make sure I’m good enough to join the group you guys have created.” You laugh at yourself at how that sounds, and it drives you to spite yourself and finally get out of the car to go inside.
Ben smiles even more before giving the steering wheel a victorious smack as you open the door, and he does the same. “The thing is though,” he shuts the car door behind himself and catches up to you, “If you absolutely hate them, Frankie can take you home early.” He teases you, his elbow pushing into your side. Hard. It was almost painful. No, it was definitely painful.
Too painful. The ache grew to the point that it felt less like a memory as it continued to grow. It begins to burn through your ribs and into your chest, radiating through your side with a pain that throbbed and didn’t fade. It made the bar from your dream begin to fade from view until you are no longer there with Ben at all. You were somewhere else. Where it was difficult to open your eyes, but all you could see when you did was dim lights and cream colored walls. And all you could feel was the pain. That, and the overwhelming longing to go back to sleep and return to the dream that you’d been so abruptly pulled away from by the pain. There was an urgency drawing you back to the- dream? Memory? Whatever it was, it was better than being conscious of the heavy, painful feeling that was beginning to spread through every inch of your body the longer you thought about it. So you don’t, you stop thinking and you find yourself slowly coming back to where you thought you should be. 
“So they left you alone,” a voice comes over your shoulder and you turn, already ready to brush the attention off and make whoever was walking up to you go away. Their timing was impressive though, since Ben and Frankie had left only moments ago to head to the bar after they said they had seen their friends making their way in. When you turn and focus your eyes on the man who had spoken though, you recognize him. The curled hair, the brown eyes, and the way his smiles seemed to invite you in to mirroring the same expression. A smile you only knew from pictures.
“I’m sure it was their idea of a joke,” you say with a surprising ease, “leaving me alone to face the wolves once you got here.” You stood to shake his hand and he laughed.
“Santiago,” he nods as he shakes your hand firmly, and you see two more men being greeted at the door by your friends. It was nice to finally meet the person that you had heard so much about. That was the most exciting part about tonight, finally getting to meet all the guys you spent your entire deployment imagining in your head while your friends told stories about them. More of the stories about the particular man in front of you came from Frankie, and you always welcomed them gladly. He was the quieter one out of your two friends, but when he told stories it was like he was meant for it. And Santiago was often a main player within them. Plus, you always liked the way that Frankie would slip into using Spanish phrases and names when he talked about his friend, even if it sometimes meant you’d lose what he was saying and have to ask him to repeat it in the lingua franca. ‘English, Frankie’ you’d have to remind him, and he'd laugh before restarting that part of the story.
“It’s nice to meet you Hermosa,” Santiago’s voice was gentle as it came to you again, and your smile betrayed you immediately. It was one of the few names you could have recognized, and one the Frankie rarely ever said. So you couldn’t help the way that it made you smile when he said it to you, especially when it just sounded so right coming from the man that was in front of you now. You couldn’t stop yourself, so you let him take in the wide smile that the name drew from you. Until Ben was tackling you both into an excited hug once he saw that the two of you had already started talking. 
Another sudden wave of pain makes the dream seem to evaporate slightly around you. It made every sensation that had felt so real only moments ago, feel far away. Santiago’s hand on yours, the sounds of the bar around you, Ben wrapping his arms around the two of you. It was all suddenly gone. Like the memories were beginning to slip away from your grasp even as you were standing in the midst of them. You wanted to feel Ben’s arms around you, wanted to hear the way Santiago had begun cursing at him for interrupting the two of you when you had only just met. That’s what happened next, wasn’t it? You aren’t so sure anymore since it was pulled away so quickly. Replaced by a wave of pain that felt even more real than the memories. A pain that you hoped couldn’t be real. 
You shift slightly and the weight begins to return again. A heavy aching in all of your joints and over all of your skin, making you feel like you were being pressed down by some unknown barrier. Every attempted movement feels like trying to wade through water, and breathing begins to change into the act of gasping for air that isn’t coming. Why isn’t it coming? 
Slowly, the pain begins to fade again and the weight of your movements begins to dissipate. The memory is coming back, recreating itself around you as if it had never disappeared from you, almost stronger than before. Like you are being dragged past the haze of fog, and returning to a sort of clarity. 
Redfly only laughed slightly at the stories that went around, but you could tell from the way he kept his eyes fixed on whoever was talking, he was really listening. Really taking in everything that was said that would eventually bring that sideways smirk to his face and make his shoulders shake with an almost silent laughter. It seemed so rare that he laughed out loud, but it also seemed like something that everyone else was used to, so you paid no attention to the habit. It wasn’t because of you. 
“It was nice to finally meet you since my brother’s so obsessed with you.” Will had given a wide smile as he reached from your hand again as he stood up to go. Everyone was getting ready, tugging jackets on and finding keys shoved in pockets. You shook his hand again, returning the smile easily.
“Nice to meet you too William.” You hadn’t heard anyone else call him by his entire name throughout the night, but something about it just felt right. You liked the name, so why shorten the time that it took to let it roll off your lips? He didn’t seem to mind either, his smile lingering as you say it and shake his hand again.
Santiago comes around the table and doesn’t shy away from immediately pulling you into a hug “You already shook my hand, that time has passed,” he jokes before pulling away and holding your shoulders lightly. “Seriously, I want to see more of you around. I’m glad we got to meet you.” His smile came again, making the corner of his eyes crinkle slightly and you are reminded again of how welcoming everything about him is, and you nod.
“You too Santiago.” He seems to be pleased with the answer, because he mirrors your nod as well before heading off to clap a hand down on Will’s shoulder as they head out of the front of the bar. 
“Like they said,” Redfly nods as well, slowly as he steps closer to you. He hadn’t shaken your hand when he first came in, so you assumed that it had finally come as a gesture of a newly made acquaintance. “Nice to meet you.” He holds out his hand and somehow it felt like a sign that you’d passed the interview that was never officially announced. You had managed to work your way into a friendship with all five of these men, almost like you belonged there. And you were grateful as you shook it.
This time, it is a voice that interrupts the dream. A soft “Hermosa'' that seems to come from nowhere, and right beside you at the same time. But you had already remembered that part, it wasn’t supposed to happen again. Was it? The voice seems broken as it begins to shift into a repetition of your name, slow and quiet. With it, the voice brings the heavy feeling back, the weight of your bones growing as the pain in your body returns as well. You writhe beneath it, wishing for it to fade as soon as it had come. 
The weight and pain brings the choking feeling back as well, the heaving of trying to breath which it feels like you are trapped underwater becoming unbearable. You are tired of the crashing waves of weight and pain and desperate fear that has come to interrupt these memories that you cherish so faithfully. And you find yourself realizing a question. If these are just memories, just dreams, why is it so hard to wake up? You can feel yourself dragging in a slow, labored breath, finally reaching the oxygen you’d been craving so badly as you feel like the dream may finally be over. But it’s much easier to slip back into a dream when you aren’t entirely sure you want to wake up. And the voice is beginning to fade, so it can no longer pull you out when you want so badly to be there again.
The voice that was slowly calling your name begins to recede into something else; a mumbling that you can’t quite make out, and you can tell it’s getting farther away. It becomes a murmuring before a whisper, a sound so small you’re not quite sure you are hearing it all until it is finally gone altogether. It is only then that you are pulled back into the dream.
At first, you are glad. The warmth it brings is a comfort, the way the dream seems to consume you so wholly that it feels real again, but it has shifted somehow. As if the choice you’d heard moments ago had intruded on your dreams and decided for you what you would see instead. It was no longer what you wanted. The memories are becoming more painful now than the aching that came when you felt yourself beginning to wake up. 
“I’m sorry.” Redfly ignores you as you speak, the rain pouring around you as you all sit under a small ridge, accepting any shelter it can provide. “Tom please-”
“I don’t want to hear it.” His voice is low as Catfish, Ironhead, and Ben talk and Pope seems to be watching the rain. “You know what I want? I want to get through these damn mountains, meet the boat, and get the fuck home.” You could tell by the way he didn’t look at you that he meant it. He didn’t want to hear another word from you. And you would have respected it if it wasn’t such a childish way to act in the midst of what was happening to you all.
You all had greed in different ways, that was really what had led all of you here. Sure, helping Santiago finally get Lorea and take him down was a good excuse to tell yourselves as to why you came, but you all knew the money was the biggest part of it. Or else it wouldn’t have been Pope’s big pitch. So you felt the need to apologize for what you had said to him about his own actions. Sure, he was much more outspoken about trying to get the money home and getting as much as possible, but at some point in this trip, you all had thought about it. And it was understandable. 
“I don’t care if you don’t want to hear it.” You say, and Pope can’t help but turn to glance to the to of you as you look at Redfly again. “I mean it,” you say as his eyes finally meet yours again, and the glance brings an ache you didn’t expect. It felt like an overwhelming sadness was rushing over you, and for a moment you aren’t sure why looking at Redfly makes you feel that way. Until you realize.
Redfly is dead. None of the memories, good or bad, will be able to change that fact. You had seen it happen. It was sudden, and quick, and you had watched it with your own eyes. It makes you want to stay, look at him again, tell him again how sorry you are for what you’d said and how you’d acted, but the dream was fading fast. And it doesn’t feel like you’re going to be dragged down again. It’s different this time, because as you are pulled out of the dream, it actually feels like a dream. It no longer feels like a reality. And it never fails, that no matter how badly you want to stay within a dream, once you realize that you’re dreaming, there’s no way to stay.
•••
Tag, you’re it: @phoenixhalliwell​ @biblioworm​​ @kesskirata​
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shadow and bone rewatch s1e6 while drinking mid-range scotch
I wish I have a face that is as unlined and pretty as Ben Barnes' when I'm 39
Arken you dirty dirty liar
the face Alek is making at his lies that he knows are lies firstly because he knows the art of lying so well and also because he can read people very well
okay Ivan is kind of a bad bitch with his smirk at Arken's lies
alek's eyes narrowing and his little smile when Arken says 'im an entertainer' bitch I love this show
*grabs hand, pulls up sleeve, and discovers Arken's hand is full of marks indicating successful passages through the fold* 'well, that is certainly entertaining' I love this man with all my heart
him screaming is so fucking hot, is that weird for me to say
Nina being the Darkling's spy is quite interesting
Ben giving the Darkling crazy eyes when Arken owns up to his guilt is so cool
also wtf is Arken a fool trying to negotiate with possibly the strongest man in the world
kind of loved the darkness literally eating him
also love Alina learning to use her powers better when she is alone than when she is with anyone else, wish we got to see the cut in this season as per the books, ah can't have everything I guess
the camera pan to Jesper's gun at his side, amazing
god Jessie is literally so beautiful I need to see her bring Alina to the peak of her power so bad
netflix you better renew this series to let the plot run to its completion
HOW THE FUCK DID THEY CAST THE CROWS SO PERFECTLY
INEJ FUCKING TREMBLING JUST THE TINIEST BIT AS SHE BOWS SLIGHTLY TO ALINA SGSHSBSJJSJSSJ MY TWO QUEENS
'And where is my Summoner?' my little Darklina heart ouchie I really wish you hadn't used and manipulated her like this Alek it was incredibly fucked up especially considering you actually caught feelings
'Ivan and I won't fail you' oh Fedyor my baby, my angel, you don't deserve what is coming
Helnik literally recreating Titanic lmao stop this is a joke
I too would jump off the raft if I came to consciousness to see a gorgeous woman with magical powers with her hand on my back
omg but why is ryevost so pretty though
'I know exactly how she felt. The King's soldiers treated me the same way... I'm not myself today.' why must you do this to me, why must you fuel my darklina soulmates agenda idiocy
I don't quite think I have a problem with the Zoya Darkling relationship as much as I have a problem with the line they chose to reveal it to use with.
my drink's over and I don't know if I should have another, considering that it's 7 am
the tenderness with which he looks at Zoya and takes her hand and then when he says 'I shall relax when I have Alina' makes me believe more that the man that is reduced to tears time and again in front of Alina could in fact be the master manipulator I know him to be
god I can't wait for Zoya's character arc
'I speak six languages, it's part of my job' why is Nina literally the fucking coolest
Alina blinding the oprichniki was so hot, I can't wait to see more of her power and her ruthlessness
I know I've said it before but good god is Jessie Mei Li gorgeous
HER LITTLE SMILE AMONGST ALL THE PANIC AS SOON AS SHE SEES MAL, THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
THE SCORE COMING IN AT THE RIGHT MOMENT, THEIR HANDS MEETING, HER SMILE AGAIN DHDHSBSNSNSNSNAN IM IN PAIN
REALLY?! YOU'RE GONNA GO DIRECTLY FROM MALINA TO HELNIK WITH NO CONCERN FOR MY HEART?
I simply cannot get over Calahan's accent lmao it's really funny
'im not afraid of you' he says to the insanely gorgeous girl with magic
HIM HANGING HIS HEAD IN DEFEAT TO INDICATE NINA HAS MADE VALID POINTS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CAN'T BREATHE
'You're just a man. Like all the others.' she says and then forgets her train of thought looking at him as he strips. god I love this
not sleeping all night and then scotch is not a good idea, I think
'I promise not to ravish you' 'I hate the way you talk' her hand on his chest, his hand gripping hers, my fucking heart feels like it's about to explode
good god these shooting locations and sets are so beautiful
Alina throwing the flask at Mal and Mal going 'OI!' I fucking can't, I guess I am a
simp for childhood friends to lovers, give me more of that banter and childhood friend energy, I am thriving
wow it literally seems like they took book! Mal sl*tshaming book! Alina and made show! Alina sl*tshame show! Mal, hmm, interesting
'They would have split us up!' MAL'S LITTLE SMILE AT THIS, and the 'You wrote me letters?' Mal's nod, the Malina yearning stare, the Malina hug, 'thank you for finding me' 'always. I'll always find you.' NO MALINA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE MADE ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL
I understand they had to split time between my ravkan babies and the crows and that is why there were several aspects that were sort of not reflected on enough but Alina's training at the Little Palace, Alina's cut, Mal's personality, a teensy bit of backstory for the crows, maybe one lockpicking scene from my boy Kaz
random note: we have far too many idols and paintings and pictures and whatnot of Hindu deities in our house apart from the specially designed temple (we are Hindus, so maybe it's not that weird but it's a little weird)
Kaz's cane is a literal star, it's so beautiful my heart wants to explode
'Why would Heleen get the Crow Club?' *literally fucking gets up and walks aways instead of answering the fucking question* I LITERALLY CAN'T BREATHE I'M LOSING MY MIND
'I know that voice' WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME FIGHT FOR PLATONIC SHIPS IN FANDOMS
'We won't starve' omg get you someone who packs food for you when you go on the run together hiding from your ex who wants to capture you and use your powers as a weapon against your consent
Mal looking surprised at her summoning sunlight, Alina looking cautiously at him waiting for him to disapprove or run for the hills in fear or smth like that, 'I'm sorry it took me this long to see you... But I see you now' my dumb little shipper trash heart ouch
they really said we're gonna feed you this part asian couple as the protagonists in this show in 2021 and guess what I'm eating it's really tasty I'm very satisfied as a south asian
NINA'S LITTLE SMILE WHEN MATTHIAS WAKES UP WITH HIS ARM AROUND HER
'I can feel how much you hate sleeping next to me' 👀👀👀 BITCH SAID IMMA SPILL THE TEA AND THEN SHE DID
it's 8 am and guess what I'm getting another drink my parents have c*vid and are in govt qu*r*ntine centres there is nobody to supervise or stop me
I too say 'Why do you have to say things like that?' to my pretty crush when she flirts with me
Nina smiling at Matthias bragging about his conservative ways is my aesthetic
'No, it's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet, oh, there you stand.' MY FUCKING QUEEN
Matthias laughing uncontrollably at Nina saying something which isn't even that funny is a whole ass vibe
Kaz Brekker saying 'The Black General' ooh fuck yeah
YESSSS STEP OUT OF THAT CARRIAGE ALL SEXY BLACK GENERAL
isn't alcohol supposed to like kill germs? well, the amount in my system definitely will
I love my crows so much (always but this time particularly for setting that alarm in the stolen carriage)
ooh Polina recognising Inej by the knife yesss let's go writers
this Ivan Jesper showdown is all I needed from life and yet did not know about
Ivan taking off his cloak was, um, sexier than I wanted it to be
I just realised how thirsty I am going to sound in this post
'Has no one told you that keftas are Fabrikator-made and resistant to bullets, hmm?' 'Oh, I do love a challenge' LITERALLY EVERYTHING
im sorry to be pointing out flaws in a perfect show and adaptation but the line delivery on 'You robbed me of my brother, now I'll rob you of your life' from Polina was kind of weak
'You're a-' *gets knocked out with the back of a gun* LMAO we love the hints
got excited at the prospect of kaz v. zoya until I realised they will not be letting the opportunity of kaz v. darkling pass up
my goodness is Amita Suman a splendid actress
I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU I SQUEALED WHEN I SAW DARKLES EMERGE OUT OF THE SHADOWS IN FRONT OF MY BABY BOY KAZ
THERE BEING ACTUAL FEAR OR ATLEAST DOUBT ON KAZ'S FACE, THE LITTLE BACK STEPS AS
THE DARKLING WALKS TOWARDS HIM, AAAAH I CAN'T
THE DARKLING STOPPING AT KAZ SAYING 'SHE FLED ON HER OWN' AND THE HINT OF TEARS THAT WE SEE IN HIS EYES
'IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN BEING A CAPTIVE ANYMORE' YOU TELL HIM, KING
*ACTUAL FUCKING TEARS IN THE DARKLING'S EYES AS THE SHADOWS APPROACH*
NOT ME YOWLING LIKE A HYENA THAT THIS CHILD OUTSMARTED THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN EXISTENCE WITH A FAKE MAGIC TRICK
'Are you sure you added enough cloves?' literally warranting a wide ass smile from my queen Alina making my entire fucking day
for some reason, no matter how much I push it from my mind, Ben Barnes dressed up as the Darkling, dancing to 'push it' keeps coming to mind, it's absolutely ridiculous
I got somehow distracted with interviews but good things came out of that as it gave my body the time for the booze to kick in
and I would just like to say that I love Leigh for all she has given me
Alina is so fucking compassionate, I have no much love for her. I can feel her guilt and her sorrow as Mal talks of Mikhail and Dubrov
don't particularly like how the stag plotline is woven in, could have been executed better
'You're afraid you might start to like me?' *flaps furs like a bird's wings in frustration*
'I DO like you' my fucking heart you idiots
the sexual tension is so palpable and the moment is so intimate I simply cannot
OMG SHE FUCKING FELL
that moment where you think he might let her fall despite having read the books and he doesn't and he tells her his name I- <3
YOU DARE TRANSITION FROM A HELNIK SCENE TO A KANEJ SCENE YOU REALLY HAVE NO MERCY FOR MY HEART HUH
people have talked about this endlessly but Freddie's little jaw tic after he says Inej because Inej is wounded and he can't physically bring himself to help her I fucking cannot
THE MUSIC PICKING UP AS KAZ LOOKS TO THE DARKLING'S CARRIAGE I CAN'T WITH THIS SHOW ANYMORE
and now for one of my favorite scenes in television and cinematic history, David Kostyk throwing a book at Jesper Fahey without even knowing who he is merely because he opens the door of his carriage and says hello to him before getting knocked out by Kaz Brekker while trying to run away
Immediately followed by another, the scene with David Kostyk raising his finger to put forward his point in front of the Darkling and the Darkling trying to let him know he doesn't have to before obliging is one of my favourite scenes in the world
also sir please stop being devastatingly attractive in your glorious appearance with your face and your black kefta and cloak because all that comes to mind is Ayesha Erotica's Emo Boy and I'm afraid that is terribly inappropriate.
'No, you look great.' *literally looks down from embarrassment or blushing* MALINA RIGHTS?
THE LOOK ON THE DARKLING'S FACE BEFORE HE SAYS 'NO ORDINARY TRACKER, NO ORDINARY GIRL' BITCH IM OUT OF BREATH
'ORPHANS OF KERAMZIN, REUNITED.' 'ADORABLE.' HE FUCKING SNEERED IRL I FUCKING CANNOT
GOD IT'S SO GOOD
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michals · 3 years
Text
(Ok this was supposed to be like, a couple of paragraphs but it turned into a freaking essay, so it’s under the cut haha)
On Klaus, Luther and addiction
So this is something I personally find to have a lot of great thematic potential for these two characters. The idea of Luther falling into the same trap that Klaus has for both similar and different reasons and Klaus dealing with Luther’s addictions while facing his own is such a great thru line for both of them. The show’s set them up with the building blocks for this plot point and it would be so easy for it to come into play this season, especially this season actually.
Luther’s build up to addiction is subtle but I think they’ve planted the seeds enough to make it into something. Him falling apart in The Day That Was and his first reaction is to turn to alcohol and drugs is pretty significant considering it’s obvious that he’s probably been very ‘straight edge’ his whole life, probably never having even drank before then. And he tells Klaus straight out that he wishes he was like him, that he didn’t care and that he could just ignore all his own feelings like he thinks Klaus does. (I’ll get into how the family deals with Klaus’s addiction in a minute.) He goes out and  does things under the influence he would never have done while sober, things that end up being self destructive (ie having sex that he seemed to really not want). But even then he’s gotten the idea that if he’s drinking/on something then he’s not thinking about all his shitty feelings.
Season two really sets it up because it’s not just one event but several. In the first ep at the bar he has a drink very casually, like he’s been doing it for years and not just because his life fell apart in the past how many months. The flask when he goes to Vanya’s is really telling firstly because he has a flask on him at all times at this point, that he uses it to get his courage up to go in the barn, and that he does it even when he’s driving. But it’s the nitrous scene that really cements it for me, again simply because he went from being basically a teetotaler to jumping at the first offer of heavy drugs. And he says he should’ve done this a long time ago. If I may get a little personal I know how easy it is to fall into this, the idea of ‘hey alcohol (or drugs) makes me feel better or at least I don’t think/care as much so why wouldn’t I do it?’. It’s such an easy slope to fall down and on the surface Luther has plenty of reasons to want to.
Now, Klaus: there’s plenty already been said about Klaus’s relationship with drugs and alcohol so I won’t get too wordy. Klaus is defined to us right away as a junkie and addict. Someone who uses substances to avoid dealing specifically with his powers and also his shitty upbringing. He plays very fast and loose with his own sobriety and even his mortality. Basically: he uses drugs to avoid thinking or feeling bad, or at least worse but he’s far, far past the point of entry into full blown dependence.
The scene between him and Luther in season 1 is a personal favorite just because it manages to deal with and establish a number of thematic ideas and the potential for how Luther and Klaus’s relationship can go from there. Luther, like the rest of the family, doesn’t understand Klaus’s addiction partially because they’ve all been estranged for 13 years and partially because Klaus doesn’t take it seriously and puts forth a very flippant persona, hell he doesn’t take anything that seriously. The world’s ending, they don’t have the time or inclination to humor Klaus’s story of chocolate pudding. Luther clearly misunderstands his addiction because yes, Klaus comes across as kind of happy and okay with himself but that’s because of the drugs. To Luther who’s been locked up with their asshole of a father Klaus seems to actually have a life of his own.
But Klaus doesn’t try too hard to walk that opinion back and here’s something I find important that tends to get left out when people point out that the family doesn’t take Klaus’s problems seriously: Klaus doesn’t talk about it or try and deal with it. Klaus really really doesn’t like dealing with things if he thinks he can avoid them. His powers, his childhood, Reginald, Ben, his cult – if he can run away from it or make a joke about it instead that’s what he’ll do. The one thing he ever really shows much initiative with is Dave. He’s self centered and I mean that in the most basic way – everything comes down to what he wants to do and he actually keeps his feelings close to the vest for the most part. Basically he doesn’t want to give the others an ‘in’ point to really address it (bonus they all heaps of problems of their own). And when he does get into it just the barest amount with Luther Luther’s high as fuck.
(Just to touch on Ben he kind of doesn’t count because firstly he can’t talk to anyone else and secondly he and Klaus have such a strained relationship especially regarding Klaus’s drug use that even if anyone else could hear him he probably wouldn’t be that supportive.)
So, actually getting into the whole season 3 thing: the siblings are about to face off with a whole lot of daddy and family issues in this time line and everyone’s got huge potential for emotional and mental shakedowns, but I think Luther’s gonna have the worst time of it. Don’t think I’m going to get into that BS of comparing traumas and saying anyone’s more ‘worthy’ of sympathy than any of the others, I’m saying specifically because it’s to do with Reginald not only rejecting him yet again and outright replacing him but that it’s not even ‘his’ Reginald so does that mean all the shit he put Luther through doesn’t count? I just see it as catalyst for a real breakdown for him.
Not to say this won’t mess with Klaus but Klaus hated Reginald long ago and has accepted that the guy was a douchebag and had no real love for his children, so personally I see his drug use as dealing with Reggie’s abuse but more so to deal with his powers. So yes, this’ll absolutely fuck with him but Luther’s the primo target here.
So what if we see Luther leaning even harder into drinking or even heavier things? Now he really has an excuse to because where’s he supposed to go from here? What’s he meant to do? He’s not the leader anymore, his family doesn’t always treat his trauma seriously (Klaus parallels there) nevermind he doesn’t even like to address it himself, he has no idea who he’s supposed to be and the one person who he thought actually cared about him not only doesn’t but never did and now he’ll never get back what he saw as his purpose in life. The whole Ben being alive thing is just icing on the cake. If he spirals in s3 it would make perfect sense because of all this and all the set up for it.
Klaus spiraled too at the end of s2 again becoming the fatalistic junkie he used to be, he’s gonna run from his problems again but it’s not just his powers this time. So he’s off the wagon but what if he notices Luther is too?
I can definitely see Luther trying to hide it from the others. He’s already given away too much of his weaknesses, he doesn’t want them to see their ‘leader’ continue to fall and I don’t think he’d want them to know he’s still that affected by Reginald. They want him to have dealt with it, like he seems to have at least a little in s2, if he’s completely fallen apart because of his dad again then that just makes him look pathetic. So he keeps his flask and finds excuses to get away with stumbling or slurring his words. But Klaus notices, because Klaus knows the signs.
In that scene in s1 Klaus very obviously doesn’t like seeing Luther like that or using drugs as an escape like he does. He’s self aware enough to know that this isn’t any way to live but is too pessimistic when it comes to himself. But, again, he tends to be pretty self centered. This is not a bad thing, this is a great character trait and it makes Klaus interesting. He does not know how to relate to his siblings on the whole, doesn’t know how to talk about his own traumas and addictions, so when he does hear them out it’s usually because he had was focusing on his own shit first. For instance: when he has the heart to heart with Allison in her kitchen he’s only there in the first place because he was falling apart because of Dave.
Luther having a problem will have to be something Klaus purposefully chooses to deal with because he’s worried about one of this siblings. And for obvious reasons Klaus is the perfect one to help him with it. He doesn’t want to see Luther like that but he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on if he wants him to stop. Hell, if Klaus won’t stop why should Luther? Klaus can’t use ‘do what I say not as I do’, partially because Luther has proven to have some self destructive/self harming tendencies and again, if it makes him feel okay or at least steady then why would he stop?
But Klaus stopping means that he’s going to have to confront his quite literal demons when it comes to his powers (I could go off on how much I don’t love that he was somehow sober for 3 years in the 60’s no problem but it didn’t seem to affect his powers at all but that’s another post). The number one thing he’s been running from his whole life, something the show hasn’t actually done a whole lot with. We knows he hates it, we knows he’s tortured by it, but we’ve seen no evidence that he’s ever really confronted it. He was traumatized by Reggie who did everything wrong so he went the opposite route.
But what if he has to stay sober for Luther’s sake? Even if he doesn’t want to help, even if he just enables it or joins him at first eventually he’d have to come the realization that he doesn’t like this, that he wouldn’t wish this kind of problem on someone he cares about. So he’s going to have to turn inward, he’s going to have to face up to both his addiction and his powers, maybe even finally try to tame and use his powers. And at some point he’d have to talk to Luther about it and stop hiding behind his glib façade.
So in the end we’d get to see Luther falling apart trying to deal with everything that he still very much needs to deal with and his subconscious tendency for self destruction, Klaus confronting his addictions, his own feelings and relationship to his siblings, and his powers and hell, maybe then we’ll actually get him using his powers to his/the group’s benefit.
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theloneliestshipper · 3 years
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I saw you were taking random prompts and I thought of this lol. Boba and Leia are both single parents and somehow their kids meet and the kids hatch a plan to get their parents together? like a parent trap situation but the kids aren’t siblings & Boba and Leia aren’t divorced?
AO3 link
Family Weekend
Rated G
“This is quite an event,” Leia noted, looking around at the gathering of students and family members. “Were you expecting such a large turnout?”
“No, but I’m glad so many came.” Luke was also surveying the mountainside clearing. “I said I wanted this Jedi order to be more transparent, and letting their families see what they’re doing is part of that.” He turned back to her and grinned. “Plus it’s a two day camping trip. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I guess you’ll find out.” Leia spotted Ben, who had claimed two woven mats for them at the far side of the circle. When she drew closer she saw that Grogu was with him. “It’s no wonder they get along so well,” Han had remarked after meeting the little creature. “He doesn’t talk and Ben talks enough for both of them.”
“His dad couldn’t come,” Ben reported to Leia as she sat down cross-legged on one of the mats. Grogu’s ears twitched and his head lowered.
“Sit with us,” Leia invited, patting the mat. Grogu shuffled over to join them as Luke moved into the center of the circle.
“Okay, we’ll get started now. Thank you for coming. I hope this will help you feel connected to what your child is learning. For the first exercise we’ll be doing a meditation similar to the ones we use in training. Please find a mat and get comf-”
A gasp from the sidelines drew everyone’s attention away from Luke. A man in Mandalorian armor was difficult to ignore. Especially when that man was Boba Fett.
“I’m here for Grogu,” he announced. “His dad asked me to come in his place.”
Grogu perked up immediately and made a happy noise, diffusing some of the tension. Luke smiled at him. “Of course.” He turned back to the bounty hunter. “You can take your seat with him. We were just about to start.”
“Oh great,” Leia murmured when she realized who her neighbor would be. Ben looked up at her, concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just someone I haven’t seen in a while.” She smiled stiffly at Fett as he approached. “Never expected to see you here.”
“That makes two of us.” He lowered himself onto the mat, imitating her cross-legged position. Grogu made a happy noise and put a small hand on his knee.
“Where’s your tent?” Ben asked.
“No one said anything to me about a tent.” When Grogu’s ears pricked up Fett’s helmet tilted in his direction. “Never mind, ad’ika. We’ll sleep under the stars.”
The mediation exercises were familiar to Leia, but she found it hard to concentrate with the bounty hunter beside her. For the last meditation stage Luke invited everyone to lay on their mats and focus on the sky as the first stars of the evening emerged.
“Think about the people who aren’t here with us,” Luke coached from the center of the circle. “See the stars and in the sky and feel the connection between every living thing in the galaxy.”
Some movement caught Leia’s eye and she turned her head just enough to see Grogu laying on Fett’s stomach instead of the mat, his eyes in the sky. “Thinking about your dad?” Fett inquired in a low voice. Grogu made a soft noise and turned over, pressing his cheek against the bounty hunter’s beskar chestplate. His hand came up to pat Grogu’s back.
After the meditation exercise was dinner. R2-D2 circled around with sandwiches and cups of hot broth while Luke built a fire in the center of the circle. The temperature was dropping steadily.
Fett removed his helmet to eat, drawing a few more curious stares from the other attendees. No one was rude enough to say anything about the scars that covered his face and scalp. Leia watched Ben closely to make sure he didn’t comment or stare, but Ben didn’t seem surprised. Perhaps Grogu had said something to him or perhaps, Leia realized, Ben had seen him before. If Fett had somehow become a member of Grogu’s circle, it was possible he had been here before with Grogu’s father.
As she ate she tried to come with a polite way of asking about his connection but for once her verbosity failed her. It was probably better if she just minded her own business. She was preparing to head towards her tent when she realized that Fett was moving towards her. Without his helmet she could see the tension in his eyes. “Is Grogu with your kid?”
“I don’t-” she looked around. “Ben?” She called, but there was no answer. Everyone else was headed to their tents for the night.
“Everything okay?” Luke called back. He was standing in the midst of a group of parents and she didn’t want to worry him.
“It’s fine,” she assured him before turning back to the bounty hunter. “I’m going to say ‘yes,’ because they’re probably together. Where did you see him last?”
“Right over there.” He gestured at the edge of the woods. “ Fek. I knew I should have put a tracking device on that little womp rat.”
“Would they have gone into the woods? It’s pretty dark.”
“Grogu has my helmet.” It was a statement he clearly didn’t enjoy. “Do you have a light or something?”
“Yes,” Leia said, keeping a tight lid on her amusement. She could see his frustration and concern. “Don’t worry,” she added as she fetched a portable lantern from her pack. “We’ll find them.”
She had, of course, a natural advantage but she kept that information to herself. “Let’s start here,” she said, letting the Force guide her steps.
They had gone further into the forest that Leia anticipated. They picked their way over rocks and fallen logs, the lantern casting deep shadows behind the trees. “Great,” she muttered. “This could be a long walk.”
“I’m surprised Solo isn’t here to help keep track of his kid.”
“Han did the field trip to the Mon Calamari opera last week.” There was a steep slope to their left, and Leia sensed something in the brush above them. “Wait.” She put her hand out too suddenly and accidentally connected with the bounty hunter’s thigh. She quickly dropped her hand as he stopped, standing close behind her.
There was murmur of voices further up the slope, and the rustling of brush.
“My dad has a girlfriend now,” Ben was saying. “She’s nice. But mom isn’t even trying to date anyone. She says she’s not lonely even though she really is.”
Leia pressed her lips together tightly. Well, that loth cat was out of the bag. She started to call out to her son, but Ben started talking again.
“Is it because his face is all messed up? I don’t think my mom would mind. Uncle Luke says what she really needs is someone who can make her take a vacation.” A pause. “Yeah, he seems like he could.”
Leia turned her head towards Fett, prepared to roll her eyes and make some flippant remark, but the expression on his face caught her off guard. There was something new in his eyes, some kind of understanding that made her immediately look away.
She could stomach a lot of things. Pity from Boba Fett wasn’t one of them. She started to move forward, to climb the slope to her son, but the loose stones and dirt beneath her feet shifted and she stumbled.
Fett’s arm caught her around the waist and kept her from sliding down any further. Her cheeks burned with annoyance as she put her hand on his arm to steady herself. “I’m fine,” she said, carefully polite as she turned back to face him. “Thank you.”
“Your brother’s an idiot,” He said. His voice was low and warm in a way that Leia wasn’t prepared for. Her eyes dropped to his mouth because he was that close and technically speaking, there was nothing to stop her from kissing Boba Fett. If she wanted to.
“Mom?” Ben scrambled through the brush. “What are you doing here?”
Fett quickly dropped his arm from her waist and Leia put her hands on her hips. “We were looking for you and Grogu.”
Fett’s helmet emerged, animated by Grogu’s shuffling steps. “Next time, ask,” the bounty hunter said as he reclaimed it. “Come on. It’s bedtime.”
“It’s cold,” Ben pointed out. “Too cold to be sleeping outside.” He looked up at Leia, all virtuous concern. She thought about telling him that she knew about his little scheme, but then again, why not let him have fun with his friend? And it was cold.
“Our tent is big enough to share,” she told Fett. “You and Grogu are welcome to join us.”
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dclsbaby · 3 years
Text
mykonos-crossed lovers (part ii) 🦋
🎶 playlist for part ii
prologue
part i
part iii
part iv
Summary: When you drunkenly book a girls trip to a tropical Greek island to help mend your broken heart, you would never for a second think it will take you exactly to where he is. Him. A tale of the right person at the wrong time, an overused cliché made into plots of movies you never thought would live through in your reality. Two people, still madly in love with each other, hearts still broken, suppressed by the alcohol and distractions consumed on this trip. Will they let their egos get in the way, protect what’s left of their already broken hearts, or will let their hearts speak?
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: angst angst and more angst
Author’s Note: part 2 is finally out! thank you so much for the continued love on MCL, i can't accurately put into words how much it means to me seeing all the positive responses! i hope i haven't upset you too much on last chapter’s cliffhanger, and if so, i hope this one makes up for it a little bit 🤍 please let me know what you think! xx
Gif:
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“It’s funny, I’ve flown out to this island to forget you, yet here you are. I can’t ever get away from you can I?” Dom asks, rather rhetorically. Shocked, you turn your head and see your ex standing in front of you, in Mykonos, of all places. You cringed at his honesty, but you can’t say you didn’t escape to the warmer climates for the same reason. “Hi, Dom,” you smile at him. “The boys are here?” you ignore his initial remark. “Yeah, Mase, Davo, and Ben are sat there,” he gestures to a table close by yours. “Luke’s flying out tomorrow”, he says. “So the full team,” you comment. “It seems you’re in for quite a holiday then,” you add.
He walks ahead to stand next to you, his toned arms resting on the white border, dangerously close to yours and he takes in the view you’ve been absorbing. Silence fills the space between you two. A little to quiet for both of your likings, you could’ve sworn you heard your heart beat out of your chest. You decide to break the silence.
“So, how’ve you been?” you asked, voice a little shaky, unsure if you even wanted to know. You looked up at Dom, and caught him sniggering at the question. “Never better,” he raises his eyebrows. “Got my call-up, ball finding the back of the net week in week out, all’s well. You?” he shifts his body to look at you. “Well,” you pause to face him. “I’m on a tropical island with my girls, away from work and grey British skies, so I’m enjoying it,” you replied.
“British Vogue is it?” he asks. You landed the job a couple of months after your breakup. It was the job you needed to make a life out of yourself, to have a career you loved. It was a job you left him for. So, to say that you were good at it was an understatement. If you had to endure the pain of a devastating heartbreak for your career, it had to mean everything to you. And it was. It had been your dream job for as long as you could remember, you have always loved fashion, and this love was complemented when you began dating your ex who has an eccentric fashion sense, always straying away from the mainstream mediocrity, which somehow, he always pulls off. It’s a gift.
“Yeah, how’d you know?”, you were curious. “Mum’s told me about it, she’s proud of you, by the way,” he stops to look at you. “Sounds like a big deal,” he says as he lets out a small smile. It’s the first time he’s ever shown some warmth since the conversation started. You smile back at him and nodded. “It’s been my dream since forever, if you remember,” you look up at him. “And that’s lovely from your mum, do let her know that I miss her,” your heart warms thought of his mum. “Of course you do, you two would gang up on me whenever she’s around,” Dom chuckles. “Only because we both know how obnoxious you could be,” you joke. “Obnoxious enough for you to break my heart I see,” he jokes as he smiles at you sadly. “I d-didn’t mean it like that,” you feel terrible. “I know, I was messing with you,” he lied. A part of him wants you to know that his heart is still broken.
Two people, former lovers, with so much shared memories, once each other’s worlds, reunite in unexpected circumstances.
“I miss you, you know,” Dom says. Your head turns to face him as you try to catch a look of his eyes that are looking down on his fingers. Standing at 6’2, you had to crane your neck to properly look at him. A painfully gorgeous man, his green-hazel eyes still shine so bright despite the evening sky, lips so full waiting to be touched, his curly locks tied up in a bun only to accentuate his perfectly sculpted jaws. He is so beautiful, the pain so visceral, so intense.
***flashback***
“It’s not fair,” your best friend said. “You two would make the most gorgeous babies,” you and Dom chuckled at her comment. “When they’ve got a mother with a face like this I’d imagine it to be difficult to not produce beautiful babies,” Dom says as he cups your face and plants a kiss on your forehead. “You did not just say ‘produce’!” you move away from him, jokingly made a disgusted face and laughed at his choice of words.
Later that night as you two were tucked in bed, you drift off into a daydream which caught Dom’s attention. “What are you thinking of in that little head of yours babe?” he asked. You softly smile at him. “You really think we’d have babies?” you asked as you look at him. “What do you mean?” he asks, shifting his body so it’s resting on his side, with his knuckles supporting his head up. “I mean, is this where we are headed?”, you clarified. Dom runs his fingers through your hair. “I absolutely wouldn’t mind having babies with you,” he pauses as he moves closer to you. “I want no one else more than you, to be the mother of my children, my partner through it all,” he looks at you with loving eyes. “You mean it?” you asked, a little surprised at his honesty. “I’ve never meant anything more in my life,” he says as he pulls your body closer to his.
***
Dreams of starting a family with who you thought was the love of your life quickly shatter as you realise where you were; stood in front of him, both with hearts that need mending.
“Don’t do this,” you quietly say as you stare into his eyes. “What? It’s true,” he shrugs. “I miss you and I thought you should know. You should know how much you’re hurting me by not being with me,” Dom confesses. The alcohol has definitely kicked in, Dom thought to himself. Liquid courage got him pouring out the subconscious thoughts he’d never unlock without a little help. “Dom, please. You don’t mean it, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” you close your eyes for a second. “You’ve had a lot to drink, you should go be with the guys,” you say as you take your arms off the wall. “Come, I’ll take you back,” you say as you lightly push his elbow to lead the way.
“What more do I have to do to show you that I am still in love with you? Fuck’s sake,” he says as he mutters the last two words. He quickly turns around to face you, shocking you in the process as you drop your arm. “I don’t know, Dom, maybe not have tabloids put pictures of you and different girls on its covers I’d assume?” you sarcastically said, referencing to the covers you have seen of him from the week before.
Dom cringed at your comment and shakes his head. “You seriously can’t believe what those tabloids say-they blow things out of proportion!” he says as he flails his arm out of frustration. “And did you expect me not to see other people? What was I supposed to do, sit and mope around, waiting for you to come back to me? Please, do enlighten me!” he encourages. “Tell me how I can get over you because I am desperate to get you out of my fucking head,” he rants angrily, loud enough to get the attention of several guests.
He pauses to catch his breath. Before opening his mouth again to spill his suppressed thoughts.
“You were my heart, my soul, my whole fucking body—my entire life revolved around you!” he yelled, not as loud, but his frustration was emphasised as he stresses every syllable. Every bit of pride he held onto dissipates, showing his true feelings that still held onto you.
Offended, you retaliated. “You act as if I didn’t do the same for you! But I’m not stood here telling you how much I’ve missed you after I’ve fucked about with random guys!” you replied, matching his volume.
“I’ve never fucked anyone since you, so don’t ever fucking accuse me of that,” he says in disgust. “And you have no right to tell me how I should cope, when you left me! You were the one who left!”, he points at you repeatedly. “You left me with nothing,” he says nearly out of breath, and drops his arms to his sides.
“It surely didn’t seem like it when you go through girls like they’re some kind of pitstop!” you angrily responded. “I was fucking hurt! You fucking broke me! I was sad and desperate, give me a fucking break!” he says as he brings his hands to his forehead. “And don’t act so innocent,” he spits out. You give him a confused face, unsure as to what he meant. “I know you’ve been out with him,” he emphasises. “Yeah, our friends talk,” he states the obvious.
You knew who he was talking about. The friend he fell out with, another footballer friend. Things got too competitive, the words exchanged at the end of a match too harsh to redeem with a handshake. The same friend who could’ve sworn he chatted you up first, but you and Dom’s connection was too strong to deny. Of course, it was nothing like he insinuated. His friend, or, former friend, rather, had dipped his toes into the world of fashion, which caught the attention of your seniors. They assigned you to an interview with him, knowing your connections in the sporting industry and knowledge of it, as you dated a footballer after all. “Th-that was nothing,” you shake your head in disbelief, shocked at what you’re being accused of. “Bullshit,” he curses. He still remembers the day he saw you two on the news. Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s Ex Moves On with His England Teammate?, the headline says. Beneath it were pictures of his former friend sitting opposite you, as you two enjoy each other’s company at his favourite breakfast place in London. It is your favourite too. He recalls trying to ignore the jealousy, he tried to stop reading gossip sites that had the tendency to over-exaggerate, but he couldn’t. It made him angry, so angry, he threw his phone across the room and smashed it into a wall, its screen shattering. Sick and nauseous, he ran to the bathroom and dunk his head into a toilet bowl, dispensing the contents of that day’s breakfast. The effect you had on him was still potent and undying.
Your conversation was interrupted when you feel a hand wrap its fingers around the back of your arm, surprising you as you jump a little. “Hi, hun, everything okay?”, asked two of your friends, who spotted you as they were making their way to the bathroom. You nodded and gave them a smile, “I’m okay,” you whispered. They were beyond shocked to have seen Dom, but they knew better than to mention the obvious. “Give us a shout if you need anything,” your other friend says softly. You nodded. Your friends waved at Dom, then walked to where they were headed, which Dom did the same before you two returned to your conversation.
You take a deep breath before speaking. “You know I never meant to hurt you, Dom,” you look at him with sad eyes. “You know why I had to end things with you, I honestly thought you understood,” you say as you try your best to blink the tears away. “No, I never understood, and I still fucking don’t,” he says as his large hand grips the surface of the wall.
“None of this makes any sense to me! I understand that it is important for you to prioritise your career, be in control of your life or whatever it was you said,” he throws a hand up. “But I will never understand why you had to sacrifice me in the process, of all things,” he replies with absolute honesty. “So, what? You expect me to drop every possibility of starting a career instead, and invest all my time and energy in you?” you ask in disbelief. “That’s not fair, Dom!” you argue.
Dom throws his head back out of frustration as you cross your arms. “I would’ve fully supported you every step of the way, given you the space you needed, anything!” he responds. “But instead you left, and took my entire life with you,” he argues back, panting as he tried to catch his breath. “You didn’t have to leave,” he quietly says.
You two look at each other in silence, both feeling the pain the other endured. The pain heavy, overwhelming, a sinking feeling.
“I wasn’t trying to compromise you,” you say softly. “I had felt so detached from myself and made you the centre of my life and I was fucking terrified, Dom,” you try to justify yourself. “Had you left me at any point, I wouldn’t have survived it,” you sigh.
“Had I left you? How could you ever assume that? You think I am strong enough to be apart from you for even just a day? For fuck’s sake,” he curses as he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose out of frustration.
“I never said you would, I said if you did,” you clarify.
“So, you’re saying you left me purely due to a hypothetical scenario? Come fucking on. Don’t you fucking get it?,” he pauses. “You left me because you were afraid you couldn’t live without me, when that was never the case to begin with. If anything, it was the other way around,” he mutters the last sentence, just enough for you to hear.
“What?”, you asked, looking up at him.
“If one of us were to be too attached to the other person, it would be me. I’m not even fucking ashamed to admit that. I’m just pissed you assumed I could ever leave you. And that you broke my heart,” he reveals, a little too much for his liking but he didn’t care. You had to know.
“I-I never knew you were this upset,” you reply, still trying to process what he just said. “Clearly,” Dom says with sarcasm. “All you do is assume,” he comments. “That’s not fair,” you respond. “None of this is,” he quickly says. “I’m sorry I hurt you, I hope you know I would never intentionally do anything to make you feel that way,” you try to assure him. “Yeah okay,” he looks away.
Silence fills the room once again. What used to only be comfortable silence between you two turned into awkward, deafening silence. Silence between two people still in love with one another, both stubborn, both hotheaded, both their egos in the way.
You hated this. You wanted out. Your heart could no longer handle the different coexisting emotions, the sadness, anger, exasperation, confusion, equally intense, equally felt. It was all too much.
“I-I think I’m just going to go, it’s been lovely to see you, I'm sorry again Dom, truly. Have a great-“, “You’re fucking joking,” he cuts you off and shakes his head. You sigh, surprised at this interruption. “What now, Dom?” you asked, a little agitated.
“You’re leaving? After I’ve poured my heart out to you? Fucking pathetic that,” he said angrily. “What else was I supposed to say, Dom! I told you I was sorry, I told you I didn’t mean to hurt you! What more do you want?”, you responded with aggravation.
“YOU! I want you! How could you be so dense? Honestly, fuck this—you broke my fucking heart and I am not going to let you walk away from me again,” he gestures angrily. “This time I’m leaving you, have a great fucking night,” he says as he storms off, taking half of your heart with him.
At that moment, it felt as though every effort you had put into moving on, all your self-care nights, girls night outs, mental health days, music playlists of happy songs, immersing yourself in work, suddenly meant nothing. All your efforts were countered, destroyed after seeing him again for the first time in months. All you could do was stand there and watch him leave you standing alone, under the blue Mykonos sky with the most breathtaking view of the island, whilst heartbroken once again. The perfect irony.
You were left in shock. You could see Dom walking through the crowd where everybody was partying from your peripheral vision. It took him way too quickly for your liking to wrap his arms around a certain blonde-haired girl in a blue dress you recognised from tabloid pictures. You feel a sharp pain in your chest from a sight you never wanted to see. You knew you had no right to feel this way since you were the one who left, but it hurt you nonetheless.
Two things could’ve come out of this scenario. You could a) suck it up, take three straight tequila shots and party the night away with your girls, who are increasingly growing concerned about your whereabouts, or b) you could call it a night and figure your heart out.
After moments of deliberation, you chose the latter option. The intense conversation you had with Dom was too emotionally draining for you to continue on. Seeing your ex on the exact trip you booked with your girls to remedy your heartache, listening to him tell you how much you’ve broken his heart, how he wants you, but proceed to wrap his arms around another girl minutes after, all in one night... you could not bear it all. You quietly made a swift exit and made sure to text your girls’ group chat as you’re walking.
Babes, I’m heading back to the villa. Rough night. Details tomorrow. Will leave some paracetamol on the counter. Be safe and have a blast! Love you. X
You took the furthest route towards the exit door away from the party scene, not giving your friends a chance to even stop you. You wrap your arms around your body, holding yourself together as your heart crumbles. The only affection you could seek from is yourself. The pain of growth slowly paying off, as you manage to at least leave the scene in one piece.
However, despite extra efforts to not get noticed, Dom caught you slipping out of the club.
You stood outside the breezy Mykonos night and waited for your taxi to come. What just happened? You thought to yourself. You were a bit tipsy from the drinks, your tired body making you feel a little delirious. It seemed like it was all a dream, a nightmare perhaps, but it isn’t. That actually happened. You inhale the fresh air, and pace your breathing to calm your nerves. The background music spilling from the narrow gaps of the doors slowly fade as you close your eyes and focus on your peace.
Peaceful silence suddenly interrupted by a loud sound of doors bursting open.
What the fuck was that? you thought to yourself as you turn your head towards the loud noise. Your heart nearly stopped when you saw Dom clumsily stumble through the door. “What are you doing?” you asked, completely taken aback.  “I saw you walk out,” he says out of breath. “And I know you like to go on walks to clear your head. I was making sure you weren’t, this isn’t the place where you could do that safely,” he continued.  “I know, I’m waiting for a taxi,” you say quietly.  Dom nodded. “Okay,” he looks away. “Be safe,” he says as he looks at you one last time. You look at him with a sad smile and nod.
As Dom retreats back into the club, he had to hold his chest, clutching where his heart is to contain the pain of seeing you force a smile at him, it was too intense, he couldn’t bear it. He wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and tell you again how in love with you he is, but he knows his heart can’t take another heartache.
So Dom does what he does best, fake a smile, join his friends, and power through the night despite the building anxiety of being away from you. He feels sick to his stomach and would love nothing more than to call it a night. He goes on to reject every girl who threw themselves at him left and right, which Mason took notice of.
“Mate you okay? You don’t seem like yourself,” asks Mason. “(Y/N). She’s here. Well, she was,” Dom says. “Here? In Mykonos?”, Mason asks in disbelief. Dom nods his head. “Shit. What happened?” asked his concerned friend. “Told her she broke my heart. I lost my head. Told her I want her, then walked away,” muttered Dom as he looks down to play with his fingers. “Mate, I mean, do you still want her? Even after everything you went through?” Mason asks carefully, cautious to push any buttons.
Dom takes a deep breath.
“There is nothing in this life I want more than her,” he spills, looking at his friend dead in the eye.
“You know what you have to do, Dom.” Mason says.
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