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yelena-bellova · 1 year

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Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Luck

Plot: Joel, Y/n, Tess and Ellie encounter Clickers, and sacrifices are made.

Warnings: tlou ep.2 spoilers, language, violence, gore, blood, guns, death, (16+)

Word Count: 4.4k (what else for chapter 4? lol)

A/N: So the only reason I was able to get this out so fast is because chapter three and this was supposed to be one big chapter. It ended up being too long, so it got split. Please don’t make this your expectation 😂

I love reading all your comments, even if I’m horrible at responding to them. I’ve never had this kind of response to my writing and it’s a lot to keep up with. I, once again, have to reiterate that this is a 16+ series and if your name is not listed on your page, I will not be tagging you. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀 I hope you enjoy this chapter! There’s no flashback, but a lot of hints about things to come later…I’m a terrible tease 😂🤫 Enjoy!!

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The museum doors were covered in fungus.

“This feels like a great plan,” Y/n sarcastically stated.

Joel ignored her disapproval, going ahead and kneeling down at one of the fungal sites. He ran a hand over it before breaking through it with the butt of his rifle.

“It’s bone dry,” he reported, “It could mean they’re all finally dead in there.”

Could was the key word of the sentence. ‘Coulds’ were like ‘probablies,’ hope with barely a breath left in it. The adults all started going through their packs, puling out their flashlights.

“Oh, man…” Ellie muttered.

Joel whipped out his light and looked exepctantly to Ellie, “Marlene pack you one of these, or just sandwiches?”

“Yeah,” Ellie answered, searching through her pack.

Y/n nudged the kid’s arm, drawing her focus. “You stay behind one of us at all times,” she instructed, “Slow and steady. Do not wander. Got it?”

Ellie nodded, “Got it.” When Tess crossed her hands, a gun and a flashlight in each, Ellie took notice. “I have a spare hand.”

“Congratulations,” Joel noted sarcastically.

With her pistol drawn, Y/n watched Joel move forward. It bothered her that he had been leading them the whole way. Their talk on the highway proved he thought he was capable of more than her. He assumed that just because he’d known her when she could afford to be delicate, she couldn’t have possibly grown into a fighter. Setting caution aside, she marched forward to walk parallel to him.

“Get back,” he ordered.

“Get bent,” she grunted.

The four of them moved as silently as they could through the museum’s lobby, posters and signs proving it had once been a landmark. Y/n moved alongside Joel, at one point taking a step ahead of him and finding a corner full of dry Cordyceps.

“We’re good,” she announced.

“Oh, finally,” Tess remarked, “Some fuckin’ luck.”

“I guess we should’ve gone this way in the first place,” Joel acknowledged.

“Oh, shit!” Ellie exclaimed, the three of them ran to join her. She’d broken Y/n’s third instruction like it was nothing.

There lay a body, covered in fresh blood and claw marks through its clothing.

“What the fuck did that?” Ellie inquired.

Y/n, Tess and Joel shared a knowing look.

“Maybe,” Tess’ voice shook as it lowered, “Maybe he was attacked outside and crawled through the doors. The door was open. Could’ve been him. I don’t hear anything.”

“Who would you hear?” Ellie asked.

The adults shushed her, Joel held up a hand.

Ellie lowered her voice, “Who would you hear? Are you saying an Infected did that?”

“Shh,” Tess crooned.

“Because I’ve been attacked by one and it wasn’t like that,” Ellie added.

Joel took a breath, it was all he could allow himself. “Okay, from this point forward, we are silent,” he whispered, “Not quiet…silent.”

“What-“ Ellie began.

“No, no questions,” Joel stopped her, “Just do it.”

Having very little trust in the man who had openly admitted to wanting to kill her, Ellie peered at Y/n, who nodded in solemn agreement. Things had suddenly become very, very real.

The four of them made their way to the museum’s staircase, taking slow steps up the creaking steps. Joel and Y/n made it to the top first, only having to stop when a piece of debris fell in a cloud of dust. They shined their flashlights across the way, a massive piling of death and fungus-covered bodies laying tragically still.

Crunch.

The exes spun around to see Ellie baring her teeth nervously, a skeletal hand below her sneaker. Everyone held their breath. There was creaking coming from above them, every step they took was a step closer to being buried alive.

Joel and Y/n made it into the Independance Hall exhibit, taking stock of their surroundings and coming up clean. Ellie followed with Tess close behind her.

Suddenly, there was a crashing sound; the building was finally giving out. Lightining fast, Y/n surged forward and grabbed Ellie’s arm, pulling her forward as Tess nose dove to the floor. Y/n let go of Ellie to extend a hand to Tess, who braced herself with it and got to her feet. They barely had a second to gather their thoughts before a loud, animal noise echoed through the room.

Then came the clicking.

Y/n and Joel drew their guns together, aiming in the direction the sound had come from. They slowly backed up, Tess and Ellie moving behind them, as the noises drew closer.

Fear can stop a clock, and none of them could tell how long they waited until the snarling, shriveled monster stepped into the room.

Y/n and Joel’s grudge ceased to exist as they moved in sync, silent as the grave they prayed they weren’t about to meet. As their group passed a doorway, more clicking sounded through it. They startled, backing up as the erratic footsteps came closer.

Two. There were two Clickers.

The foursome sought shelter behind a glass display case as the Infected began to roam the room. Each of them were processing the situation spearately, but they needed to move together as one.

Joel saw the fear in Ellie’s eyes, he couldn’t take it from her, but he could prepare her. “They can’t see,” he mouthed, leaning over Y/n, “But they can hear.”

On the other side of the display case, one of the Clickers walked past, shrieking as it jerked around. It had been over a year since Y/n had been this close to one of them, she’d forgotten what it was like. The way experience melted away and fear overtook all your senses.

Joel held up a finger to the three of them. If the Clickers could pass through without noticing them, they could make a straight shot up to the passageway and be gone. Everything rested on how the next thirty seconds went.

Y/n was too afriad to shut her eyes and too scared to face the creature head on. She simply stared ahead, trembling with each sound the monster made.

They listened as it turned the corner of the display case, until it was mere inches from them.

Ellie gasped.

Y/n grimaced.

The creature spun around to them and screamed.

Joel unloaded his rifle on the creature, who reached out and dragged him forward.

“Run,” Joel screamed.

Tess took off with Ellie, shooting at the other Infected before escaping the room. Y/n stayed, firing shots at the creature as it fought Joel. It knocked the rifle out of his hands, leaving him with only his pistol. Y/n was able to wound it enough to momentarily stun it, giving Joel and her time to run away.

They sprinted down the hall, Joel turned around and fired a shot before they dove into the next room. He knocked over a podium, creating an obstacle in the Clicker’s path, buying him and Y/n a few extra seconds. Joel grabbed her wrist and threw them behind a shelving unit.

Now fear, it turns out, is a powerful thing. It can cause people to turn on one another, or it can bring them together. Y/n had spent the last twenty four hours listing all the ways she wanted to kill Joel Miller, but face to face with the reality of losing him, she was doing everything she could to save him. They both were.

Joel’s hands shook as he reloaded his gun, his flashlight tucked between his shoulder and his chin. Y/n stretched her arm out over his chest, her breath trembling in time with his as they waited…

The Clicker was right next to them.

Joel shone his flashlight around the corner, the Infected was a mere ten inches from them. Mercifully, it hadn’t sensed them, and headed around the other side of the shelving unit. Y/n peered through the dusty screens, charted a clear path, and motioned for Joel to come forward. They crouched as they walked, Y/n spotted Ellie hunched against another display case.

Joel and her quickly crossed the space and got down alongside her. Joel looked to his side, signaling for Ellie to follow them around the case. They crawled in the opposite direction, the Clicker only a few feet away from them and but a second from discovering them. It just needed to take a few more steps and then it would be in the other room….

A piece of glass crunched under Joel’s boot.

The three of them stopped.

The Clicker screeched and leapt across the case, tackling them to the floor. Ellie thrashed and yelled as it pinned her down. Joel and Y/n each kept an arm against its chest, pushing it away with their combined strength. Y/n freed her arm from between her and Ellie’s bodies, pressing her gun against the Clicker’s abdomen and shooting it three times. It stunned the monster, giving Joel time to shove it off of them. Y/n shielded Ellie, who was gripping her jacket, and Joel shielded Y/n. Joel aimed his pointed at the Clicker once again, and gunned it down as it ran towards them. He fired a few final shots, just to ensure it was dead.

The second Clicker charged towards them, Joel and Y/n shoved Ellie behind them, no time to draft an attack plan. Saving the day, Tess came from the side and lodged an axe in the Clicker’s head. Thinking quick, Joel left Y/n and Ellie to retake his rifle, firing one shot before a second that did the creature in.

Joel surveyed the Clicker, examining the bloody chunks of fungus laying around its head. Fear was enough to create doubt, even in front of fact.

“You all right?” Joel asked Tess, who was getting to her feet.

“Twisted ankle, but…yeah,” Tess answered.

Y/n turned to Ellie, “Are you okay?”

“Well, I didn’t shit my pants, so…” she responded, glancing around her in case they’d missed one. She stopped and rolled up her sleeve, revealing a bloody mark, “You fucking kidding me?”

Y/n didn’t know whether or not to be scared. Joel knew exactly what to feel.

“I mean, if it was gonna happen to one of us,” Ellie muttered.

Joel didn’t let his anxiety come over him often, but he could feel it building. Tess was tuned into him enough to see it happening.

“Hey,” she coaxed, “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”

The four of them filed out the top window, Y/n offering Tess her hand to help her onto the roof. Joel went to work immediately, pulling out a first aid kit and a piece of cloth.

“Put this around your arm,” Joel instructed Ellie, handing her the cloth. In the chaos, he hadn’t even thought to ask Y/n if she was injured. “You-“

“I’m fine,” Y/n said coldly, eager to settle back into blind hatred.

Ellie made her way to the makeshift bridge, a few wooden planks, and took the first step. “Over there?”

“Yeah, I know,” Joel spoke as he examined Tess’ ankle, “It looks scary.”

“That was scary,” Ellie replied, “This is wood.”

Y/n followed Ellie, her legs steadying more with each step across the divide. In the world they lived in, fear had to pass as quick as a summer storm.

“Are they always like that?” Ellie asked once they were both on the rooftop.

Y/n sighed, “Not at first. I mean, they’re always scary but at the beginning, they look…” she paused, forcing the memories out like a tide in the ocean, “They look normal.”

Ellie hummed, wandering off to the edge of the building. As Joel crossed the plank, Y/n went to stand beside Ellie. The sun was shining gold down on the remnants of Boston, illuminating the good and the bad.

This. This was what still gave Y/n hope. She needed to believe that maybe, maybe, there was a way to restore the world back to its beauty. That was the key difference between her and Joel; she still wanted to find what little good was left out there.

Joel came to stand on Ellie’s other side, peering over at the girl. “Is it everything you hoped for?”

“Jury’s still out,” Ellie gave a half-shrug, “But man, you can’t deny that view.”

Tess rejoined them, walking with new purpose. “C’mon, let’s get there before it’s dark,” she grunted, climbing over the edge and scaling down some siding.

Joel and Y/n stood at the edge of the roof, each staring out into the horizon lost in their thoughts. Their severed connection lived in the space between them, sparking and straining as it tried to pull them together.

But they’d had twenty years of ignoring one another’s memory. It was going to take more than a fight and a sunset to come to any kind of truce.

Y/n silently climbed down the side of the building, leaving Joel on his own. He glanced down at his watch, taking a valued second to himself, before heading down after the rest of them.

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The rest of the way to the State House was spent in quiet suspicion. Everyone watched Ellie with more interest than before, waiting for something to happen.

When they arrived, Y/n spotted the truck that was supposed to transport Ellie and her. There was supposed to be someone outside waiting to meet them and yet, the place looked as deserted as the rest of the city.

Joel glanced at Y/n, silently asking if this was right. She answered with a distant shake of her head as she looked around them. She drew her gun and got up, stepping strategically through the grass. Joel huffed in exasperation, coming out in the open to follow her.

Y/n approached the truck cautiously, her breath already trembling like she’d already seen what lay inside. She ignored Joel practically breathing down her neck as she swung open the vehicle’s door. Empty.

Joel held up a hand to Tess, who stood with her gun aimed and Ellie protected behind her. “Stay back,” he mouthed. When he turned back to Y/n, he found air.

Y/n rounded the vehicle, examining the other side before her eyes and nose were drawn to the ground. There was a bloodied body laying underneath the truck. She knelt before it, whatever had happened to it hadn’t been more than an hour or two ago. The blood was still new, but the flies had already found the poor soul.

Joel was at the rear of the truck, bracing himself for whatever fight lay inside it. He threw the back door open and took a stance, finding the same nothing they had in the cab.

“Joel?” Tess called, coming to join them, “What the fuck is going on?”

“I don’t know,” Joel said, looking around the corner of the truck to Y/n, “What was the plan?”

Y/n sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “Driver was supposed to be waiting here, one or two Fireflies just to verify it was us…we were supposed to jump in the truck and go.”

“They went inside,” Ellie announced, staring at the steps leading to the State House. The three adults peered over to see the bloody footprints painted on the staircase.

“Come on,” Tess grunted, grabbing Ellie’s hand and letting the blood tracks show them the way.

“Tess,” Joel called, Y/n wasn’t waiting for him to call the shots. She jogged up the stairs with the same urgency as his partner. “Tess!”

Tess burst through the doors, holding both Ellie and her pistol in front of her. Y/n flanked Ellie, ready to attack whatever could been lurking in the building. Joel followed the women, exhausted by their recklessness.

What they found was worse than they could have imagined.

Every Firefly body was on the floor, their blood spread across the slick marble.

Y/n could feel her chest cave in on itself. Her comrades, the plan to take Ellie west, hope itself, it all dead lay around her.

Tess showed the same panic Y/n was trying so hard to contain. “Okay, I mean there’s gotta be a fuckin’ radio or something, right?”

“Start looking,” Y/n holstered her gun, running to check the crates, the equipment…anything that could offer them a morsel of chance. If she could get in contact with Marlene, they could form a new plan. She’d take Ellie herself, if necessary, doubts be damned. They couldn’t admit defeat so easily.

“Tess,” Joel called, having already deduced that one Firefly had got infected and it had spread to the others, “What’re you doin’?”

Y/n threw open crates, scouring the contents for a radio, with Tess searching beside her. They both ignored Joel.

“Where did Marlene say you two were going?” Tess asked Y/n.

“Tess-“ Joel tried again.

“Just west,” Y/n answered, her breath quickening, “We were supposed to get the exact location here.”

Tess threw her hands out in exasperation, “Just west. Fuck. Okay…well, one of ‘em’s gotta have a map on them, right?”

Y/n was already examining the bodies without touching them, “Check each one.”

“Joel, can you help us?” Tess impatiently asked, kneeling next to Y/n and searching through the victim’s pockets.

“No,” Joel bellowed, refusing to indulge the fantasy any longer, “Tess, it’s over. We are goin’ home.”

Tess spun around, shooting daggers out her eyes, “That’s not my fucking home!”

Her cry was loud enough to silence the rest of them. Tess hung over one of the bodies, fighting back her tears enough to stand up and face Joel.

“I’m stayin’.”

Y/n stayed on the ground, confusedly watching the scene play out.

“I mean…” Tess almost laughed, “Our luck had to run out sooner or later.”

Joel stood perplexed. Perhaps he’d have figured it out if he had looked in between her words. In her eyes. In her quivering lips.

“Fuck,” Ellie exclaimed, her voice lowering to a whisper, “She’s infected.”

Joel felt the very ground they stood on crack down the middle, a divide separating him and the only person he’d allowed himself to care about in twenty years. The unspeakable plague had finally come for one of them, and it had attached itself to the wrong person.

“Show me,” he muttered.

“Joel,” Tess said softly, taking a step forward. Joel flinched, jumping back an inch away from her. He regretted it immediately, it was pure instinct.

Tess pulled back her jacket and shirt to display the reddening bite mark.

Y/n got to her feet upon seeing the wound, unafraid to close the distance Joel was putting between them. Joel threw out a hand to pull her back, but Y/n smacked it away and placed her fingers around Tess’ wound. In another life, it could have been extremely well done Halloween makeup. She wanted it to be.

“Oops,” Tess tried to smile, “Right?”

Y/n rubbed her fingers against Tess’ shoulder, if these were her last minutes, she wanted her to feel human touch one more time.

“Take your bandage off,” Tess ordered Ellie.

The girl unwrapped the cloth from her arm, showing the adults her newest bite mark. It was already healing.

Tess surged forward and took Ellie’s arm, holding it up to Joel. “Look. Joel? This is real,” she pulled Ellie forward, “Joel, she’s fucking real.”

Joel and Y/n spotted it at the same time: Tess’ hands were beginning to shake.

Tess retracted her arm into her person, her breaths quickening with passion. Passion for a future she would never see.

“I need you to get her to Bill and Frank’s,” Tess stated.

“No,” Joel started to argue, a flurry of emotions hitting him at once. It was real. This was real.

“They’ll take her off your hands,” Tess continued, unstoppable in her pleas, “They’ll handle it from here.”

“No, no, no,” he shook his head, sounding like a child in denial, “I can’t. They won’t take her. They’re not gonna take her.”

“They will,” Tess insisted, “Cause you’re gonna convince them.”

“I’ll take her,” Y/n said from behind Joel, “Tell me where they are and I’ll get her there.”

Tess squeezed her eyes shut, “No, it has to be him,” she looked to Joel, “I never ask you for anything. Not to feel the way I felt, not to-“

“No,” Joel said, a kneejerk reaction. He had spent so long caring for her as much as his grief would allow him.

“Shut the fuck up,” Tess snapped, “Cause I don’t have much time. This is your chance. You get her there, you keep her alive…” she bit back her tears, “And you set everything right. All the shit we did…please say yes, Joel, please.”

Joel could feel what was left of his heart beginning to break. He couldn’t lose anyone else.

A strained gasp from one of the Infected Fireflies echoed behind Ellie, “Oh, fuck!”

With all the tranquility of a piano melody, Joel stepped forward, cocked his pistol and blew a chunk of the one-time human’s brains out.

The strands of fungus began to stretch out around the Infected’s hand. The signal had been sent. Within minutes, hordes of Infected would descend upon the State House.

Joel exhaled, realizing what he’d done and ran to the building’s door. He could hear the distant snarling and choking of the Infected. Whatever pitiful amount of time they’d possessed had just gotten slashed in half.

“How many?” Tess asked calmly.

“All of them,” he reported, “Maybe a minute.”

Y/n took a shaky breath and raised her gun to Tess’ head. Joel was quick to aim his rifle at her head.

“Don’t you fuckin-“

“Do you want me to do it?” Y/n ignored Joel, locking eyes with Tess. It wasn’t an act of anger, it was an act of mercy. She was trying to save what was left of Tess’ life.

Tess shook her head, taking stock of her surroundings and rushing around the room. She tipped over barrels of gasoline and crates of grenades, letting them spill across the floor. Twenty years of sin and her last act was to save. This was Tess Servoupolis. Not her reputation, not who she’d been forced to become to survive…her.

Joel watched, heartbreak etched in each line of his face. He wanted to scream, to cry, to punch, but time had numbed his emotions enough to be able to keep it all inside.

Tess finally came to face Joel, keeping a foot of space between them. She couldn’t handle watching the man she loved move away from her like she was…what she was.

Y/n backed up to stand with Ellie, feeling like they were intruding on an intimate moment.

“Joel…” Tess said his name one last time, knowing just how much weight the words she was about to say carried, “Save who you can save.”

He was holding so much back, so many things he wanted to say, even just to touch her one last time. His grief overwhelmed him, for both women he wasn’t able to save. But if he couldn’t heed Tess’ final wish, he’d never be able to look himself in the mirror again.

Joel took one last look at her, the two of them committing each other’s gaze to memory, and Joel turned on his heel, grabbing Ellie and dragging her away.

“No!” Ellie yelled, hitting Joel’s arm to try and break his grip, “We’re not leaving her! Get off me, you fucker!”

Y/n, let them pass, standing firmly planted in front of Tess. She wanted to say something, but nothing rivaled the weight of the moment. She wanted to thank her for her sacrifice, tell her how sorry she was that she was about to what was to come…something to let her feel some sort of compassion before she lost herself entirely.

“I-“

“Protect her,” Tess urged, staring straight past the Joel and Y/n’s resentment and into her soul, “Protect him.”

Y/n’s breath shook as she considered what Tess was asking of her. She wanted to know the man she loved would live to see the days she wouldn’t. Y/n couldn’t fault her that, it was so easy to care about Joel. If Tess was a better woman than Y/n and had earned that devotion he showered upon a select number of people, she would feel the same devotion to him till death.

Y/n wanted to run in the opposite direction, but she wasn’t so heartless that she wouldn’t obey Tess’ last request. She nodded, pouring out her condolences through her pained stare, and took off the same way that Joel and Ellie had.

Leaving Tess to die.

She found them outside, Ellie still fighting Joel tooth and nail. Y/n pressed her hands to Ellie’s back and urged her forward, running alongside them in a desparate effort to escape the tidal wave of Infected encroaching.

They’d put a safe amount of distance between them and the State House when the building exploded.

Joel wrenched Ellie forward to shield her, letting him and Y/n take the heat of the blast. They drew their guns, waiting for a stray Infected to pass through the violent flames, but none came. Tess had succeeded.

The three of them stayed perfectly still, except for their heaving chests, watching the fire consume the State House. Twenty years ago, Joel would have allowed himself to break down. He would have let his knees hit the dirt, his fists ball and his grief would have spilled out of him as if he was made of it.

Twenty years ago, he could feel whatever he wanted. But to survive, you had to bury your desires with the dead. Joel knew that better than anyone.

And so, skipping the eulogy and going straight for repression, Joel lowered his rifle and walked away.

Y/n, who wasn’t as hardened as her ex-love, could no longer keep her tears at bay. She crouched down in the dirt, pressing her hands to her lips in a praying position, and allowed a silent rain stream down her cheeks. Losing anyone was awful, but losing someone who wanted redemption, who wanted to atone for their sins and leave the world better than they’d found it…that was tragic. Tess had sacrificed herself to save them, to save Ellie, to save a future she could only hope came to pass. Perhaps Joel couldn’t mourn her, Y/n knew his grief was the match that lit his whole being ablaze, but she could. She would.

Ellie stood beside her, tears filling her once-innocent eyes. Her naivety had always been on life support, but it was fading with every minute she spent outside the Wall.

Deciding her momentary memorial would have to serve as enough for Tess, Y/n got to her feet and wiped her eyes. “Come on,” she whispered, her voice strained as she put a hand to Ellie’s back. She led them down the dirt, following Joel’s ghostly silhouette…

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TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest

Joel Miller Taglist: @xsnak-3x @xmoonknightlyx @simplybarnes @stolenxkissess @mandoshoney @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @deanlovescassie @paintlavillered

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us fanfic #the last of us imagine #the last of us fanfiction #twenty years later

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daughterofthequeen · 4 months

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A New Diagnosis

Pairing: Joel Miller x autistic daughter!reader

Summary: I have an idea. Joel Miller x daughter!reader, based in the camps they had everyone in after the outbreak(so a couple days after Sarah’s death technically) and the reader is a high functioning autistic who stims. So when they get to the camp and because of all the stress she has been under, it’s causing her stimming to flare up like crazy. So Joel and Tommy had to beg and plead to the soldiers, trying to let them know she is autistic and she wasn’t infected, that she just can’t control her stims.

Warnings: Angst, crying, cussing, stimming(not really a warning but its in the story), overstimulated meltdown, denial, most likely inaccurate chain of command about construction work or construction jobs in general, might be a little ooc Joel in one scene I’m not completely sure but it feels like it and I hate it😠😤.

A/N: the reader symptoms and preferences are based on my own, which is also where this idea came from. Ever since the show came out I just wondered what did they do to the people with ticks and stims at the beginning of the outbreak. I mean they eventually had to come up with a way to tell a difference in the beginning of the outbreak before they had the infection detector things, right?

I honestly might rewrite this because I don’t know if I like how this turned out. Usually I’m pretty good at picturing what characters would say in a certain situation, but there’s one part of the fic that I’m not so sure about( you’ll know it when you read it I’m sure). But it’s crazy because I’ve been living like this since the ages of 4 or 5 and it still extremely difficult to describe stimming, even harder writing about it. But I wish I had a Joel Miller parent so I guess I’m projecting a bit in this fic. And this may also be longest fic yet.

So I decided to make this into two parts because I want this posted today because it was supposed to be out yesterday and I don’t want to wait any longer.

Mockingbird (Part 2)

Taglist: @miss-celestial-being @ilovemydinoboi @taraiel @distorted-twink @geralallfandoms @your-shifting-gurl @daemontargaryenwhore @mihstar

What started out as a regular day went to hell in the span of a couple hours. I mean homes being set on fire, families separated, innocents slaughtered due to the fear of a sickness they had no cure for. But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s start from the beginning. My name is (Y/n) Miller, and this is the story of how everything went to shit.

I was only 4.

As a kid you’re oblivious to almost everything, but sometimes a child’s behavior can reflect the type of day the family will have whether they realize it or not. And my attitude had been off all that week, until my father’s birthday aka outbreak day. I called it the calm before the storm. That week I was in an overall bad mood. All of my senses had been on high, being overstimulated plus the struggle of always being alone in school. I mean don’t get me wrong I use to talk to some of my classmates, but most likely than not I would’ve been playing by myself either from trying to avoid the bullies or because nobody wanted to play with me in general. But hey, you can’t miss what you’ve never had. I never really understood people, I still don’t but I had my family and they always made everything okay. They never made me feel different about myself. Regardless of me being only four, I understood that the repetitive behaviors were definitely not normal. Along with the what I now know as stimming; physical, vocal, scripting, ticking, etc. I could go on and on about everything that makes me different, but my family had always helped me feel normal. To be honest I didn’t start realizing I was doing all that stuff until one day my dad sat me down and asked me ‘what are you doing’ and ‘are you okay?’, which made me more self-aware. And then there was school, the weird looks and the mean jokes came into play. I’ve rarely caught my family staring, but I knew they were. Growing up and remembering the past helps you realize things you might’ve missed or didn’t understand as a kid. Like the concerned/confused stares I would catch my dad or uncle Tommy giving me before I was diagnosed. I just didn’t know what the looks were for. But the day my father finally decided something was indeed wrong, that it wasn’t just a phase, had him making an appointment to my clinic fast. It was the first time my stimming caused me serious pain. Well, from what I can remember anyway.

July 23, 2002 - Austin,Texas (Y/n is 3 years old)

The day started out like any other. I woke up in my sister’s bed, once I got my bearings I got out of the bed and headed down stairs to see my dad and my sister having one of their many daily debates

“I’m just saying your generations music has nothing on ours- (Y/N)!” After hearing Sarah saying your name, Joel turned around seeing you standing in the kitchen doorway rubbing your eye.

“Hey babygirl. Did you have a good sleep?” He asked as he turned off the stove top and went to pick you up.

“Mhm. I’m hungry, daddy.”

“That’s good because I just cooked your favorite breakfast.” He said as he kissed your cheek and sat you down in the chair across from Sarah, who got the two of you orange juice. Joel then went to grab the plates. There were eggs, sausage, french toast, and he sat a bowl of grapes next to you knowing how much you love them. You all started eating your breakfast. You went straight for the grapes and started eating them, until you spotted something that looked weird to you. Frowning, you push the bowl away and went to the food on your plate.

“Something wrong with your grapes?” Joel asked you noticing the way you frowned up.

“They dirty daddy.” Causing Joel to frown in confusion.

“Dirty? I just washed ‘em.” Joel leaned forward and grabbed the bowl and didn’t see anything abnormal about the grapes. The water in the bowl didn’t even black specs in it that grapes leave behind. “They look fine to me.”

“No. They dirty daddy, look.” Standing in your chair, you leaned over and pointed to a grape with a light brown streak on it and another where it was brown from where the stem was.

“Oh, that doesn’t mean they’re dirty, baby. Grapes just to look like that sometimes or because they’ve gotten older. That’s all.”

“Ew.” You mumbled.

“They’re gonna taste the same.” Joel said as he sat the bowl back down next to you.

“I don’t want them anymore.” You say pushing the grapes away.

“They’re fine, (n/n). I actually think the small brown areas actually make them sweater.” Sarah says trying to reassure her baby sister.

“No.” That was your final statement before you went back to eating the food on your plate.

“Ok, you don’t have to eat ‘em.” Joel states as him and Sarah go back to eating their own food.

———

“(Y/n)!!! Come back here!”

“No!”

“We go through this every time you use the bathroom!”

Sarah was currently chasing you around the house. A daily thing really, but for the last few months you have determined on not washing your hands after using the bathroom. And not with just Sarah. With Joel and Tommy too. Joel usually would have to keep a firm grip on you that disabled you from moving away from the sink, and to keep you from running or flailing your arms around as an attempt to keep him from making you wash your hands.

The first time that happened you guys were at a restaurant. He would be surprised if that whole side of the restaurant didn’t hear you,

“Daddy, I have to use the bathroom.”

“Ok.” Usually he would have Sarah take you but her and Tommy’s food had made it to the table. And since he was still waiting on his, there was no sense in stopping her from eating. He took you out of the high chair, and you two headed to the restroom. After the long process of putting toilet paper on the seat, he sat you on the seat and let you do your business. Once you were finished cleaning yourself up and him flushing the toilet, he waited for you to go towards the sink. But you headed towards the door instead.

“Don’t forget to wash your hands.” Joel said from his spot on the wall he was leaning on with his arms crossed.

Turning towards the sink, you clasped your hands to your chest, letting out a low groan of disgust.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to touch it.”

“What the sink?” You nodded.

“You have to wash your hands, babygirl. Come on.”

“No.” You whined, and Joel knew then the two of you were going to have a problem.

“Babygirl, please.” He said in a pleading tone and tired tone.

“No!” Joel sighed then picked you up and held you over the sink as he usually would when washing your hands, but this time due to your decision of fighting and squirming in his arms, he had to get a gentle but firm grip on your hands to wash them himself.

“(Y/n).” That caused you to stop in your tracks. The sound was unfamiliar until your mind put together it was your father’s voice. He never says your actual name unless you were in trouble, and even then it would depend. But him calling your name was enough time for Sarah to scoop you up and head to the nearest sink which was the kitchen.

Sarah sat you down after she finished washing your hands. After getting free you pouted and went into the living room to continue playing with your toys before your bladder interrupted you. So invested in what you were doing, you didn’t even hear your Uncle Tommy come in the house.

“What’s for dinner today?” He teased, rubbing the top of yours and Sarah’s head as he passed by each of you.

“I don’t know you’ll have to ask this guy. He was supposed to go to the store but surprise, he didn’t.” Sarah says with a sarcastic smile towards her father who was going through bills. Joel head turned towards Sarah giving a bored look.

“We’re ordering pizza.”

“Fine with me.” Tommy states triggering Joel to role his eyes.

“Of course it is.”

Sarah went upstairs for the book the two of you were reading. To ‘keep her ahead of her future classmates’. While Sarah was upstairs, Tommy eyes trailed over to you, he smiled as he watched you in your own little world playing with your toys while talking to yourself. He watched you for a minute until he saw you stretching your neck. Normally he would’ve thought nothing of it until he realized it was happening constantly. At first they were only seconds apart, then you would stop for a few minutes and start again. There wasn’t an exact pattern, but he caught the rhythm of it.

“Buns neck been bothering her?”

“No.” Joel answered absentmindedly, still invested in the papers he wished he could use as a coaster without consequence.

“You sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?” Joel asked, getting annoyed by the fact he kept getting interrupted with his task.

“ ‘Cause she keeps stretchin’ it like it’s bothering her.”

Joel looks up at Tommy who had a slight worried look on his face. Joel then turns around in his chair to see what his brother was talking about. And true to his little brother’s words there you were stretching your neck and shoulder in a way that looks painful if he’s being honest. Joel turned back around to his brother with an equally concerned look. He leans closer towards him and lowers his voice before he started talking signaling Tommy to do the same.

“I don’t know why she does that, and every time I ask her if she’s ok she tells me she’s fine.”

“Maybe she has a crook in her neck.”

“No, if it was a crook we would know. She would be a lot worse. She tends to panic when she has one of those, and doesn’t do a lot of moving around. To stop the ‘bouncy feeling’. This. This is something else. And it’s been getting more frequent lately.”

“Frequent?”

“Yeah, this started a few months ago. It’ll leave and come back after a few weeks, but like I said it’s been happening a lot more often lately. She does it with her hands and wrist too.”

“Hm.”

Joel turned back towards his youngest. “Babygirl, you okay?” He said in a tone reserved for only you and Sarah when she’s upset about something.

You look up from your toys, bright innocent eyes finding your father’s concerned ones.

“Yeah.”

“You sure? Your neck not bothering you?”

“No.” You replied while standing up from your place on the floor and walked over to your father. When you got close enough he automatically picked you up and sat you on his thigh.

“Then why do you keep rollin’ it around honey?”

“I’m not.” Joel frowned in confusion. He’s clearly watching you do it so, either you’re lying for some unknown reason or you just don’t know that you’re doing it. But he’s always able to tell just by asking one question.

“Are you telling me the truth?” Simple, but it works. It was a question he would ask you every time he would think you were lying. And every time you answer you have a tell. When you tell the truth you tend to answer pretty confidently, but when you lie, you always fiddle with something whether it be your clothes, your fingers, or just bouncing your foot.

“Yes.” There’s no fidgeting. Covering up how even more confused he was in the moment he just nodded in understanding even though he didn’t.

“Ok baby, you want to go back to playin’ with your toys?”

“Yeah.” You replied getting down from your father’s lap before he even had the chance to put you down. Then you ran off to start back playing until Sarah came back down the stairs.

“(N/n), story time.” Hearing that you stood up and headed over to the couch with your sister. Before you sat down you picked up your stuffed bunny, Tommy got it for you when you were two. They used to use it to stop you from crying, but now you take it wherever you go. You laid down across the couch with Sarah and had your bunny in front of you in the same position you were to Sarah. She opened the book to where you two left off and started reading stopping at every few paragraphs to let you read.

Joel watched the two of you, his world. He would never understand how a mother would want to give this up.

“Have you thought about getting her checked out?” Tommy’s voice broke Joel from his thoughts.

“Checked for what?” Joel asked frowning at his brother.

“Joel, are you serious? Something could be wrong.”

“She’s fine, Tommy. She’ll grow out of it.”

“Grow out of it? Don’t you want to make sure?”

“Tommy, please.” Now Joel was lying. To himself especially. But that is understandable, what parent wants to accept that something may be wrong with their child. It was a scary thing to think about.

“What if it’s somethin’ wrong? Wouldn’t you want to get Bun’ the help she needs as soon as possible.”

“She doesn’t need help Tommy. I’m telling you she’ll grow out of it.”

“Joel-”

“Just let it go.” Joel whispered in a hardened tone, trying to keep his voice down so the girls wouldn’t hear that anything was wrong. “Look, would you order the pizza for tonight. I’m trying to finish up these bills.” Tommy mumbled a ‘sure’ and got up to make the call. He understood why Joel didn’t want to talk about that kind of stuff, what parent does? But knowing his stubborn nature he won’t act on it unless something happens that causes him to. After hearing the voice of the pizza lady on the line, Tommy uses it as a distraction to get his mind off his niece and his stubborn mule of a brother.

January 16, 2003 - 6:30am

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Sarah sat up with a soft groan and stretches, when she heard whining. She turned toward her sister who was hiding under the covers.

“Time to get up (n/n).” Sarah was about to stand up until she heard you cry out. She pulled back the covers to see you in a fertile position, hands covering your ears, eyes squeezed shut. “Come on (n/n), we- what’s wrong?” Sarah asked starting to panic seeing a tear fall from your eye.

“Too loud!” Sarah was confused for a second before she remembered the alarm was still going off. She quickly reached over to turn it off, and brought you into her arms. She laid you on her chest, rocking you back and forth while rubbing the top of your head, and she softly shushed you until you calmed down. When Sarah heard your cries turn into sniffles and looked down at you.

“You okay?” She asked softly rubbing the top of your head. She was confused as to why you reacted this way but, whatever the reason, it had her extremely worried. After seeing you nod your head she was able to relax, but she knew she still needed to tell dad about what just happened. Sarah got you up so, the both of you could start your morning routine. Everything went semi-smoothly, but that’s to be expected after your reaction to the alarm clock she’s not all that shocked about your agitated behavior. Sarah had just finished fixing your shirt when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“Come in.”

“Hey, you girls almost ready?”

“Yep, we were just about to head down for breakfast.” Sarah stood from her kneeling position in front of you, letting you know that she was finished. And after going to tuck your bunny in bed you walked over to Joel.

“Unfortunately, you two are going to have to eat breakfast at school.” He said as he picked you up.

“Ew, why?” Sarah asked.

“Well your Uncle Tommy called and said there’s been an emergency at the house we’re working on so, when he pulls up we gotta go.” He grabbed your book bag and started down the stairs since you had decided to fall back asleep, not that he blamed you if he could he would have too. A minute later Tommy pulls up and surprisingly the Adlers weren’t outside, then again they were leaving a little earlier than usual. But, either way they didn’t have time to stop and talk. Sarah was dropped off first, then you. And it wasn’t until Sarah sat down in her first period class when she realized she forgot to tell her dad what happened this morning.

———

Time Skip

Normally, when school gets out you would ride home with Denise, due to her daughter going to the same school and Sarah’s school getting out 10 minutes after your school does. Then add another 20-30 minutes of her having to take the school bus then the city bus to get home. When Sarah makes it to the neighborhood she has to pass by Denise house to get to yours which is when she picks you up, but today didn’t work out that way. It started when Joel got a phone call from your school.

Joel and Tommy were currently managing the workers that were doing the framework of the building they were working on. Well Tommy was, Joel was trying to keep calm while talking to the construction manger.

“Look all I’m saying is we should be getting paid more since we’re working more hours than what we were told we would be working, don’t you think.” The construction manger has been going back and forth with Joel for about 10 minutes now, way too long for Joel’s liking.

“No, I don’t. Especially since the reason we’re in this situation is because you guys didn’t do your jobs right in the first place. You’re lucky you’re still gettin’ paid the amount that was agreed upon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that if you and your guys spent as much time working as you do talking and taking breaks you probably would’ve done your jobs right the first time, and we wouldn’t be in this situation, or behind a day.” The manger didn’t take too kindly to that statement, and Joel was so close to losing his nerve until he was saved by the bell, literally. Right before he was about to tell the construction manager that he can stick it where the sun don’t shine, his phone started ringing.

Joel sighed while taking his phone out of the carrying case to see it was the preschool calling much to his confusion. He didn’t even notice the construction manager was still talking.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take it up with Tommy.” He said while waving him off and answering his phone. “Hello.”

“Mr. Miller.”

“Yeah.”

“This is Elizabeth, (Y/n)’s teacher. We need you to come to the school.” Joel immediately sighs, dragging his hand over his face.

“What’d she do?” He replies in an exhausted tone. He never gets calls from your schools unless it’s to let him know he needed to bring a change of clothes for you. All the preschoolers have to have an extra pair of clothes that’s to be kept in the classroom just in case the kids have an accident or something. But you’ve been acting out a lot lately, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was for something like that.

“It may be better for you to come up to the school so we can explain it to you face-to-face.” Joel didn’t like the way this was sounding. It was hard for him to pinpoint the emotion that was coming off her voice, which worried him more.

“Okay, I’m on my way.” He sighed while hanging up the phone. He walked over to Tommy who looks like he actually did tell the construction manager to shove it, going off the look on the of their faces. “Tommy, I need you to watch over everything here for a while.”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“That was (Y/n)’s school, they need me to go up there.”

“Is everything okay with bun’?”

“I don’t know her teacher wouldn’t tell me anything. I’m sure she’s fine, she probably just got into it with a kid in her class again.”

“Okay, call me when you find out what’s goin’ on.”

“I will. Alright I’m off, and make sure they actually do their job correctly this time.”

“I got it, go on.”

After that Joel made his way to the truck. Even though he says he’s sure she’s fine, he couldn’t help but worry about you. The tone of your teacher didn’t sound good at all. She sounded worried. And sad? Were you sick? He could deal with a common cold, but your teachers tone indicated something worse than that. And there has been a deadly virus going around the world, it hasn’t made it to America yet at least that’s what they’re telling everyone. But what if it has made it over seas? There’s no cure for it, and what if you had it? That couldn’t happen, to you or Sarah. He wouldn’t know what he would do if he lost one of you. No. Stop. That’s not going to happen. That would never happen. He hates when his mind gets like this, but as a single father the need to protect the two of you is the most important thing to him, and that makes him worry even more because that’s something he can’t ever fail at, and he doesn’t even want to think what’ll happen if he does.

He gets out of the truck and speed walks towards your classroom. He had gotten into his own head, but there’s something inside of him that’s telling him this is as serious as it feels.

“Mr. Miller.” He turns upon hearing his name being called, seeing your teacher standing in the doorway of the office.

“Where is she?” He asks as he makes his way to her. Once he got close enough he realized the tone in her voice wasn’t sadness, but pity? Why would she pity him, and where were you?

“She’s in the principals office. But! But before you go in we should probably explain what happened and why.” She said stopping him from brushing past her.

“What did she get into a fight with another kid or somethin’?” Joel ask impatiently.

“No-”

“Okay, then it can wait.” He moves to fast for her to stop and walks into the principals office to see you sitting in a chair with dried tear stain down your cheeks. He quickly kneeled in front of you gently grasping your hands in his.

“What’s wrong, babygirl. What happened?”

“I wanna go home.” You mumbled

“Ok, you want to tell me why?”

“Mr. Miller, we really need to talk to you.” The principal finally spoke up motioning to the officer hallway. He huffed as he stood up and followed the principal out, but not before he kissed your forehead and told you that he would be back.

“Okay, what’s so important that you had to drag me away from my daughter, who’s been crying? And why is she crying? I swear if that Richardson kid put her hands on her again-” He was annoyed with everyone at this point everyone besides you obviously, he just doesn’t understand why they couldn’t tell him while he comforted his daughter.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Miller. We just didn’t want to make her think that she was in trouble, we just got her to calm down.”

“So, she’s fine?”

“Physically, yes.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“Ms. Elizabeth?” The principal could he was getting upset so she found it best to let your teacher explain what happened.

“Mr. Miller.”

“Would y’all stop calling my damn name and actually tell what the hell’s going on with my daughter?

“Well (Y/n) has been in an agitated mood all day, but that’s not the problem. Uhm, the kids just got back from lunch about 30 to 40 minutes ago, and after they eat I usually let them have play time before I start their last lesson for the day before nap time. Today during play time (Y/n) had a little outburst.” Elizabeth knew she was beating around the bush, but that’s because she has heard this conversation happen many times with other teachers and parents and most often than not the parents don’t respond to well.

“Little outburst?”

“Well not really an outburst, but more of a meltdown. This is the special needs teacher, Ms. Thomson, and a friend of mine so I know what signs to look out for in a child. And (Y/n) has been showing these signs since the beginning of the year. They can be overlooked especially in girls and be seen as ‘normal’ and in a way it is. For her anyway.”

“What are you talking about? Signs for what?” Joel asked in frustrated tone.

Ms. Elizabeth look over at the special needs teacher to nervous to continue, and to make sure that she’s positive of (Y/n)’s condition. To which her friend responded with a nod.

“We think (Y/n) has autism. And before you say anything, the signs are all there. I’ve been watching her since her first day of becoming my student. And we highly recommend that she be tested.”

“What? She’s not autistic. I think I would know if my daughter had autism. Look at her, does she look autistic to you?”

“Autism doesn’t always have a look Mr. Miller, and just because she doesn’t have a physical disablement doesn’t mean she’ll be any less autistic than someone with one. That’s why we recommend getting her tested to find out how far she is on the spectrum.”

“You sound so sure that, that’s what it is. How did y’all come up with autism from her having a ‘meltdown’? And what do you mean by meltdown?”

“Well after I sent the kids to go off and begin playing I noticed (Y/n) hadn’t moved from the table, she just sat there, covering her ears with tears in her eyes. She had been in that position since they came back from lunch. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me the other kids were being too loud. But before I could offer a solution the students behind us started screaming louder than what they were, which triggered somewhat of chain reaction with the rest of the class, so I turned around make sure everything was ok but when I that’s when (Y/n) ran to the bathroom and locked herself in. I had to send the other kids to sit in a classroom with another teacher. (Y/n) was crying. Sobbing. When I unlocked the door she was sitting in the corner squeezing the sides of her head so hard it looked painful. All to try and block out the world because it was too much for her. It broke my heart to see her like that because (Y/n) is sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, and to see her in pain like, any child, it’s a hard thing to see. I had to wrestle with her a little to keep her from hurting herself, but I was able to get her calm enough to sit her in my lap and have her hold onto me while I called Ms. Thomson, who was able to calm her further until she reassociated with everything around her.

“Pain?” That’s when the special needs teacher finally decided to step in and say something.

“It’s called a sensory overload, Mr. Miller. It’s very common in the Autism Spectrum. It’s when someone on the spectrum becomes to overwhelmed with the world around them, and if they can’t find some kind of outlet from everything more than likely it’s going to cause a break down in one way or another.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s autistic-“

“Mr. Miller. Does (Y/n) walk on her tippy toes?

“Yeah, but all babies do that.”

“How does she act when she is in a large crowd or around someone she doesn’t know.” Ms. Thomson was completely calm while asking these questions. Knowing that getting agitated or saying something wrong could keep you from getting the help you need.

“The same as any other kid.”

“Does she get in mood where she doesn’t want to talk or just can’t talk in general?”

“Ok look, you’re only naming things all kids do.”

“Yes, but like every thing else on the spectrum there’s a line where it occurs more than it should. Let me ask you one more question Mr. Miller.

He doesn’t even reply he only took a breath to let her know he didn’t want to talk about the topic anymore. Still in denial, even after everything they just told him.

“Does she tend to twitch, or repeat her movements? Have you ever seen her stiffen or strain her body?” Joel didn’t even reply.

“Your silence speaks volumes Mr. Miller. Please, get her tested. It will help her make it in a society that wasn’t made for her. Giving her benefits she can use to even the playing field with neurotypicals. Don’t you think she deserves that?” Joel really didn’t want to accept this. Knowing that if you are autistic, you’ll face more difficulties in life. All because you were different. Difficulties you’re already facing, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“What do I need do to get her tested?” Joel asked after his little debate. All he can hope that the test comes out as negative, but that’s a long shot, given the special needs teacher already seems so sure, the test was just to confirm it.

Ms. Thomson who was smiling after hearing his agreement answered him. “Nothing, I already have an appointment set up for her with a neurodevelopmental pediatrician, who is also a good friend of mine. So, as soon as she finishes with the evaluation you will get the results. I just needed your approval.”

“Okay. Uh, thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Is it ok if I take her home?” Joel ask looking towards your teacher.

“Yes, I think that’s the best thing for her right now. Being in her safe space with all her things will help her get some much needed rest. I will write down the appointment information and what you’ll need for the evaluation and put it in her backpack for you.”

“Thank you.” After that Joel walked back into the office to see you playing with one of the pens on the principals desk in one hand and your head laying on top of the other. “Hey babygirl. You want to go home?” He asked as he kneeled in front of the chair, while making sure to keep his voice at a low level. Once you nodded he stood up, gently grabbed your hand, and the two of you went to get your bag and appointment information.

January 20, 2003 - 1:00 p.m.

Joel and Tommy were on their lunch break at a burger place when Joel’s phone started ringing. He cleaned his hands and took his phone out it’s carrying case before answering. “Hello?”

“Is this Joel Miller?” A woman’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, good. This is Tonia, the neurodevelopmental pediatrician that did (Y/n)’s evaluation.”

“Right, so what were the results?”

“Well, the documents are ready for you to come and get them, and I will break everything down once you get here, if you want.”

“Uhhhh yeah, I’ll be there in about 20-25 minutes.”

“Ok, see you then. Bye bye.”

“Bye. Get up Tommy, we gotta go.”

“I’m still eatin’”

“Tommy, bring it with you. Jesus.” Joel mumbled as he rolled his eyes at his younger brother.

They made it to the building, and Joel was doing his best to remember the way to the correct office while also trying to calm his anxious mind. When they made it to the office, Joel knocked on the door frame of the open door before walking in Tonia’s office.

“Here you go.” She said as she handed the papers to Joel who noticed it was about 15 pages.

“Wha-what am I looking at?” He asked looking up at the pediatric who let out a low chuckle, she gets the same reaction from almost all of the parents she encounters.

“Well first things first, I’ve concluded (Y/n) does have ASD. She is what we call a high-functioning autistic, and I came up with that diagnosis based on her teacher’s observations, your own, and from the activities I had her to do. The evaluation explains everything of what that means in detail like her sensitivity to sounds, her not liking to touch certain things, lack of social skills, etcétera.”

“So, what does this mean for her?”

“Well, she can stay in Ms. Elizabeth’s class, there’s no need to move her to the special needs class permanently. But she does have special education, and all that means is that Ms. Thomson will take her in her classroom to help her find ways to calm herself when she feels herself getting overstimulated. Or if she can’t and Ms. Elizabeth sees she is getting overwhelmed or she tells Ms. Elizabeth she’s getting overwhelmed they’ll send her to Ms. Thomson class or a quiet place for her to calm down. And maybe she’ll even have better luck with making friends in the special needs classroom than she does in her regular class. And education wise it means when she gets test she can go to a different classroom to take it and she’ll be able receive more time on any tests she has to take as well.” She looked up from her notes, making sure she got all the main checkpoints, but when she did Joel’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“Mr. Miller, the worst thing you can do for her is to feel bad for her. There’s no reason too.”

“No reason to? The whole point of this was to make sure she gets the help she needs to keep up with everyone else.”

“No, the reason for this was to make sure she had the help if and when she needs it. Academically (Y/n) is one of the smartest kids in her class, actually in her grade. It might take more effort, but she’s keeping up with her classmates. Some of the worst things you can do is pity her, hold her back due to being overprotective, or use it as an excuse to make her seem more fragile. I’m not saying she’s not going to have challenges because she is, but all you have to do is stay beside and make sure she keeps working at it till she gets it. And stay way from describing her condition as ‘slow’ or ‘retarded’. And you can’t punish her because of her stimming or overstimulated behavior. Not saying that you would! I mean- you just wouldn’t believe how many parents would get agitated and angry about things their child can’t control, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re attentive to her, and that’s something she’s going to need from you growing up.” Joel nodded in understanding still skimming through the evaluation packet.

“Thank you for doing this in such short notice.”

“No problem. She’s one of the sweetest kids I’ve met. And cutest.” That caused a smile to appear on Joel’s face. He hasn’t been able to smile much since Thursday, always thinking about you and the whole situation. Which has been weighing on his mind literally 24/7.

“Thank you for this, you have a nice day.” He said before turning around to leave out the office.

“You as well.” She replied also smiling at Tommy, who smiled and winked back, reaching his goal of getting her to laugh.

Joel barely made through the door before Sarah hit him with a “what’d she say?”

“Uhhh- where’s (Y/n)? And how’d you know she called?”

“She called the house phone first. And (Y/n) is upstairs, I just got her out the tub, which she didn’t like, at all.”

“She didn’t want to get out?”

“No, she didn’t want to get in. But she should be finished putting on her pajamas by now.”

“Ok, go get her and I’ll tell y’all the results.”

“Ok.” Sarah ran upstairs to get you, when you both got down stairs and sat on the couch, Sarah sat on the right side of Joel, and he picked you up and sat you on his lap tucking you into his side.

“How was school today, honey.” Joel turning his head towards you.

“Good. Ms. Elizabeth gave me headphones to put on my ears when everything got too loud again.”

“Did she? That was real nice of her.”

“Yeah. How was your day, daddy?”

“It was really good, babygirl. Thank you for asking.” The smile you gave him made his whole day. He thought back to what the pediatrician said about not pitying you because that’s not something you need from him. Looking at you now he realized she was right. He’s going to do his best to give you what you need. Whatever it may be, and he knows you’re going to grow into a smart and beautiful woman. He reached down and kissed your temple getting laugh out of you, a sound he would never get tired of.

Joel turned his towards Sarah, about to ask her how her day went stopped him before he started.

“My day was fine, the same. What did she say?” Joel paused for a second before he chuckled at her before pointing to the where he sat the evaluation.

“That’s the paper, she gave me that explains everything.” He blinked and Sarah had the papers in her hand, while she started reading he turned back to you to explain everything to you somehow.

“Ok babygirl. Do you remember test you had to take with the lady a few days ago?” After you nodded he continued. “You remember she told you it’s going let us know if you think differently than everybody else?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it turns out you do.”

“Is that bad?”

“No! No, no, no. It’s not bad at all, and don’t let anyone tell you that it is. Ok?”

“Ok.”’

“All it means is some things may be a little harder or more overwhelming to you than other people, but it also means better at other things too.”

“Like what?”

“Like being artistic, and solving puzzles. But it also means you can be smarter than others in your class. You may have to learn some things in a different way, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be smarter. You already are. Ms. Elizabeth told me you were one of the smartest people in your grade.”

“She did!?”

“She did.”

“Wow.” You whispered in awe.

“Yeah, that’s a big deal, and daddy is so proud of you. You remember that, ok? No matter how big you get.”

“I promise, daddy.”

“Good. I love you babygirl.” He said, pressing another kiss to your temple.

“I love you too, daddy.” You said placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Awwwww, that’s so sweet. What are we eating for dinner? I’m hungry.” Sarah interrupted and Joel huffed out a laughed placing a quick kiss on her temple as well.

“I’m proud of you too baby.”

“I know, dad.” She said softly smiling.

“How about we go out for dinner? I really don’t feel like cookin’.”

“Fine with me. Come on (Y/n), let’s go put some clothes on.”

“Okay!” You said as you jumped up from Joel’s lap and ran off to catch up to your big sister.

A/n: Long story short the story was too long🤭🙇‍♀️😭 so I decided to split it into two parts. I hope you guys enjoy, sorry I took so long. But I love you guys for being patient, I really appreciate it.

#joel miller x autistic!reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller x reader #hbo tlou #tlou fanfiction #A New Diagnosis #joel miller x autistic!daughter!reader #joel miller x autistic daughter!reader

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harmonictechnicality · 1 year

Text

Eddie’s Memory Log: Day 2-5

part 1 here | part 3 here | part 4 here | part 5 here | part 6 here

(ao3 link here)

There’s chewed up bits of food splattered violently all over the hospital lunch tray.

“Are you trying to feed me or torture me, Harrington?” Eddie wipes his mouth with the back of his arm.

Eddie still remembers Steve’s name.

“Kung Pao Chicken.” Steve over enunciates each syllable.

“My memory is fucked - not my speech, asshole.”

“Your attitude is fucked worse than your memory is.” Steve grumbles. “You asked for this yesterday, remember?”

Eddie chooses not to answer verbally and instead, shoves the tray away from his bedside.

Eddie doesn’t remember asking for Kung Pao Chicken yesterday. If that weren’t already obvious.

He dramatically chugs down a styrofoam cup of water. “Seriously, my tongue feels like it’s been assaulted.”

Nah, his fucking behavior today is all very reminiscent of that Shakespeare play - Steve only read the cliff notes for it during his junior year English class. Taming of the Shrew? Take a wild fucking guess who is the shrew right now…

Steve spoons a bite of his food into his mouth without throwing a tantrum. “Maybe your taste buds changed.”

“Maybe you’re wasting your time.” Eddie snaps back. “Maybe you should leave.”

Steve is not in the mood for this. Not today. Robin is still borrowing his car and he didn’t get a window seat on the bus, so his Patience has clocked out early. Not even in the goddamn building anymore.

“Fine.” He gets up, packing up his meal that he can’t even enjoy. Look, Steve’s not asking for a candlelit dinner by any means. But changing the weather forecast - dramatically pouring food out of his mouth in that way? Munson is a goddamn piece of work (Pollocks probably, considering the mess).

That reminds him:

Eddie remembers how to be dramatic. Theatrics must be in his bloodstream or some shit.

“Are you leaving or what?” Eddie is flipping through the tv channels, not even looking at Steve.

“I swear on your stupid little board game, you better be an angel tomorrow.” Steve scolds, gathering all of his things underneath his arm.

“What was that?”

“You heard me.” Steve points a finger at him. “Your memory is fucked, not your ears.”

“Your tongue is fucked for having such shitty taste in food.”

“Nice comeback.”

“And you shouldn’t come back at all.” Eddie hits an imaginary cymbal at the end of his lame joke. At least there’s humor in his damaged mind. Too bad it’s at Steve’s expense.

Eddie remembers how to tell jokes again. Mean jokes. (tbd on the rest of his humor though)

Steve isn’t planning on saying goodbye, but he remembers the kids. They’ll whine him into an early grave if he doesn’t return to Hawkins with a little more insight on Eddie’s memory levels. So he decides to ask one more question before leaving:

“Hey. Munson.”

Eddie flips the volume down on the tv, and looks at Steve. “What now?”

Still remembers his own last name.

“When’s your birthday?” Steve asks again. He already asked this yesterday, but it’s worth a shot.

Eddie looks out the window, closes his eyes for a few seconds. For the first time today, his expression goes serene. All the frustration lines on his face relax. Ease up.

He opens his eyes and answers calmly.

“January 10th.”

Interesting.

Eddie knows his birthday.

Memory log: Day 3

Steve should consider a career as a psychic or some shit. Maybe he absorbed all of Eddie’s memory skills unintentionally or maybe his little DnD threat was worth the added bitchiness. Whatever it is, Eddie is actually tolerable today.

“That’s the least vomit-inducing shade of yellow you’ve ever worn, Harrington.” Which isn’t exactly a ‘hello, it’s nice to see you,’ but Steve will take it because -

Eddie still remembers Steve’s name.

“So you remember me wearing yellow?” Steve clicks his pen excessively. “Seems pretty advanced.”

Eddie turns the tv off today. Woah. “Last week, yeah. Wanted to join PETA just so I’d have a good excuse to throw fake blood all over it.”

Okay yeah, still mean - but also, his memory isn’t so shabby either:

Eddie remembers Steve’s yellow sweater he wore last Tuesday!? That seems impressive.

Eddie knows who the fuck PETA is (Steve makes a mental note to tell Robin about that one cause holy shit)

Eddie is making snort-worthy jokes today. (Are they still at Steve’s expense? Hell yeah, but who the fuck cares? There’s goddamn chunks of memory in his cynical comedy.)

Steve stays for the entirety of visiting hours. Eddie doesn’t ask him to leave - not once. They mock shitty soap operas on tv and theorize that all of the actors are actually rejected pornstars.

Steve likes This Eddie.

Steve hopes this version of Eddie is still here tomorrow.

“Did you think I’d forget?” Eddie asks slyly while Steve heads for the door.

“Forget what?” Steve isn’t following at all.

“The Chinese takeout.” Eddie says sort of irritated. “Kung Pao Chicken, remember?”

Oh. Steve does remember. Eddie does not.

Eddie doesn’t remember redecorating the hospital bed with his chewed up food.

His face suddenly drops at Steve’s change in posture. “What?”

“I did bring it.” Steve hates this. “Yesterday.”

“Oh.”

“Do you remember yesterday at all?”

Eddie whispers into his palm. “I remember you.”

“Right.” Steve’s chest gets tighter at his answer though.

While it’s encouraging that Eddie knows who Steve is everyday, and is comfortable dragging his style through the mud (or fake blood) - this puts such a damper on their good day. Steve can already see Eddie reaching for the tissue box, ready to soak his disappointment into off-brand snot rags. He can’t let the day end like this. No fucking way.

“Hey.” Steve knocks his knuckles over the wall, grabbing Eddie’s attention. “We’ll try again tomorrow, yeah?”

Eddie bunches up the unused tissue in his hand. “Whatever.”

“Take a good look at this non-vomit-inducing sweater.” Steve teases gently. “Don’t forget it.” He does a goofy twirl, and wiggles his ass while he turns around just to see if Eddie will laugh.

He doesn’t, but it seems like he’s trying incredibly hard not to. Always a good sign that ass-shaking is still humorous even after inter-dimensional brain trauma.

“Never said it was non-vomit-inducing.” Eddie retorts after fighting back his amusement. “I said it was the least vomit-inducing.”

“Ugh.” Steve rolls his eyes, gives Eddie a small wave as he heads out the door.

He can still hear Eddie trying to get the last word as he leaves:

“Maybe you’re the one that needs a brain scan, Harrington!”

At least it was a better day.

Memory Log: Day 4

Well so much for the Better Day. Somehow, Eddie’s attitude is now reaching Mister fucking Hyde levels today. He’s the bad dude, right? The Jekyll guy is a doctor, which must make him the chill one… ya know, medicine and shit. And seriously, doesn’t Eddie need to be on some more medications anyways? If Steve were smarter, he’d write the fucking prescription himself.

Whatever, Eddie is Hyde and that Shakespearean shrew lady all chopped up and tossed together today. He’s slinging insults like softballs and snarling his bruised upper lip every time Steve utters a single sentence. Steve is reconsidering his comment about not taking money from sophomores, cause this is bullshit.

“What sexually transmitted disease brings you to the hospital today, Harrington?” Eddie asks rhetorically. And annoyingly.

He remembers he strongly dislikes Steve Harrington, that’s for damn sure.

But… he still remembers Steve’s name so that’s a plus.

And wait -

“Hold on. Did you just make a Steve is a Hometown Slut joke?” Steve is way too excited about the prospects of Eddie remembering his promiscuous past.

Eddie tilts his head to the side. “Hometown Slut would be a good band name, actually.”

“Focus, Munson.”

“Uh, I guess?” Eddie reaches for his pudding cup. Huh. Maybe he’s sick of jello. “Why are you about to piss your pants over that?”

Steve flips to the first day of notes when Eddie didn’t remember jackshit about Steve in high school. He looks back up at Eddie. “Because that means you remember at least something about high school.”

Eddie shrugs. “I failed a lot of shit. It’s probably because there’s just way too much high school to remember. Something was bound to stick.”

Eddie remembers flunking Senior year.

And even though Eddie is living up to his satanic stereotype with his behavior today, Steve is beyond excited that memories are coming back. He just has to ask one more thing before leaving:

“Do you remember what color sweater I wore yesterday?”

Eddie examines Steve for a very long time. Hoping to spark the correct answer, Steve twirls again. Wiggles his ass. Gives a big, goofy smile.

“You’re weird.” Eddie looks away. Looks down.

Steve exhales loudly.

Eddie doesn’t remember Steve's least vomit-inducing yellow sweater.

Memory Log: Day 5

After Dustin analyzes Steve’s daily entries, they hypothesize that Eddie is struggling the most with short term memories (since he never quite remembers one day prior to the current day). It appears that some of his long term memories are gradually returning, so perhaps a little coaxing will speed those along.

“Well well well, if it isn’t -”

“Catch, Hyde!” Steve tosses a crushed velvety bag into Eddie’s lap.

Eddie pokes at the bag. “Hyde?”

“It’s either Hyde or Katherina.” Steve finally asked Robin the name of that bitchy character from the Taming of the Shrew. “But if you’re gonna play nice today, I’ll just call you Eddie.”

That solicits an audible gasp from him.

He must remember that Steve never calls him by his first name.

“Your references and gifts confuse me.”

“Maybe if you just open the bag, it‘ll un-confuse your sloshy brain.”

He dumps the jangly items onto his side table.

It’s slow - the smile that forms over Eddie’s face. It’s the first time Steve has seen Eddie smile with teeth since that night in the Upside Down. One of his teeth on the bottom row is chipped, but it doesn’t even matter. He’s smiling wide enough to show all of his teeth and that’s the fucking win for today. Everything else is just a bonus. Sprinkles and candles and confetti and party hats.

After so much loss, they needed this win.

“So?” Steve wants words now. Needs smiles and words combined. “See something you like?”

“My dice collection.” Eddie says it like the lyrics to a hymn. As if these geometric blobs are his religion and he’s praising their existence at the altar of his hospital tray.

“Do you remember what kind of dice?” Steve had Dustin give him some key definitions on this fantasy shit. Not for his knowledge, of course - for Eddie. Duh.

“D20s.” He answers fast.

Steve nods, walks over and tries to pick one up. Eddie slaps his hand away quickly. “Get your Grease Lightning fingers away from my children.”

Okay. Well.

Eddie remembers his dice/children (and what they’re called)

Eddie remembers Grease? (Of all the movies Steve thought this guy would reference… Grease? Is it the leather? Hm.)

“Do you…” Steve is nervous for this question because he desperately wants Eddie to get this right. “Do you remember the name of the game you play with these?”

For a second, Eddie’s face drops the same way it did yesterday when he couldn’t remember the color of Steve’s sweater. But the dropped corners of his lips begin to twist into a devilish smirk.

“My dearest Stevie boy,” Eddie’s voice is dripping in that poisonous tree sap kind of way. “Dungeons and Dragons isn’t just a game. It’s a fucking worldwide phenomenon.”

Holy shit. Within those three sentences, Eddie almost sounded like Name Brand Eddie Munson again. The tone he always used with the meatheads at Hawkins High - that tone is back. The eyebrows that inch along his forehead like witchy caterpillars - those eyebrows are back. It’s just three sentences, sure. But it was Eddie rising from his gurney of a grave in many other ways.

Eddie remembers how to use his snarky tone of voice.

Eddie remembers how to make his eyebrows dance around on his face.

Eddie remembers *Dungeons and Dragons*

Steve is so excited, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands? What do hands normally do when they’re excited? Clap? Stay at his side? Flap around? Fuck, he has no goddamn clue, so he just decides to give Eddie a thumbs-up with one hand and ruffle his knotted hair with the other hand.

Multitask the shit out of his excitement.

Eddie laughs along with him now, still admiring his collection. Not even bothering to stop Steve from his hair ruffling thingy. Huh… why is Steve still ruffling Eddie’s hair in the first place?

Okay. He finally stops himself. Has to pull his own wrist away but he stops.

“Guessing it was good day, Munson?” Steve wonders curiously, still watching Eddie roll the dice around in his palm.

Eddie nods. Multiple times. “Good day, Harrington. Good day.”

A prickly sensation hits Steve as Eddie says good day. A sensation that suggests to Steve that he wants Eddie to have more than just Good Days. Steve wants Eddie to have Great Days. Steve wants to give Eddie great days and present them to him in tiny velvet bags.

That’s definitely a turnpike of a thought.

He did this on purpose too. Dustin is coming on Sunday, which means Eddie will remember this moment. He’ll remember the dice and the Good Day. That’s part of Steve’s plan apparently. He’s making plans like that now. Strange.

“It’s funny.” Steve is pondering over his own discoveries, but also Eddie’s faulty memory patterns.

“What is?”

“You have the hardest time remembering the events from the day before…” Steve pauses to reflect. “But you always remember me.”

Eddie drops the dice out of his hands. He doesn’t look at Steve though, he just freezes up. His bangs have grown out quite a bit, but Steve thinks that Eddie’s face is redder than it was just a second ago.

Eddie remembers how to blush.

And Steve is going to milk that reaction completely. “You always remember that I’ll be here the next day. Isn’t that funny?”

Eddie kind of choke-answers him. “Funny sure yeah ha ha.”

Eddie remembers how to feel flustered as all fuck.

“Well,” Steve lifts up - still as smug and devious as ever. “I’ll let you have some alone time to catch up with your children. I’m sure you have lots of adventures to plan together.”

“Right.” Eddie finally sweeps his bangs back, watching Steve head for the door. “Does that mean I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“God willing.” Steve is sort of itching to ruffle Eddie’s hair again, but he doesn’t. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

Eddie waves and starts cleaning up his collection, swiping them back into their bag.

“Yellow.” Eddie mumbles very quietly. Almost inaudible.

Steve stops. “What?”

“Your sweater.” Eddie explains anxiously. “The tacky burnable one. It was yellow.”

Eddie remembers Steve's sweater again.

And Steve couldn’t be happier about that. Now he’s the one smiling with all of his teeth. The bonus type of smile on a day full of wins.

“It sure was, Eds.”

#steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #I'll keep tagging in future parts unless you would like me to un-tag you ☺️#thank you for the love on this ficlet #this one is a little longer but I hope you like it #steddie ficlet #post season 4 au #I thought it might be fun to make my posting date Eddie’s birthday :)#just a smol thing

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gojos-thot-patrol · 8 months

Note

i DEFINITELY want more Frat Boy Sukuna!!! 😍😍😍😍

Oh man, you're twisting my arm so hard here nonnie, what ever will I do?

I guess I'm just going to have to post some headcanons and frame work I have for the up coming part 2 (Of which you can get on the tag list for it: here!) Oh! And if you want a refresher, you can find Seven Minuets in Heaven Here!

Now Presenting...

Some supplemental reading if you will ;)

Ok, lets start with just some basic information on our boy

Hes in the Alpha Beta Omega frat, or the ABO frat. The entire Frat is very quick to point out they’ve been around longer than ABO when you bring it up, minus Ryomen.

He just tells you he’s an Alpha and asks if you’re trying to be his Omega. It normally gets whatever reaction he wants

He’s majoring in business against his will (Remember this: It will come up) with a minor in he’s really about: History

If taking over his fathers very lucrative business (Again: This will come back up later) fails, he wants to be a history teacher.

He often bonds with Nanami over hating their shared major and being annoyed with Gojo and Geto making out in the most inconvenient places.

He sells drugs on the side to supplement his income, but nothing harder than weed because “Weeds not even a drug when you think about it.”

Is known for being the biggest manslut in the manslut frat. But hey, at least he gets tested regularly.

Ok, so now I want to start with a little bit of his background because it informs a lot about how I characterize him.

He’s Yuji’s older brother by about 4 years. Both of them look almost exactly like their father. The man really said Ctrl C, Ctrl V, Ctrl V.

Their father left when they were 7 and 3 respectively. Yuji doesn’t remember, but Ryomen very clearly remembers how horrible their father was to their mother. To him, it was a relief when that asshole finally abandoned the family for good.

The family moved in with their Grandpa, who was one of the very old school “I will only tell my kids I love them on my death bed” types. He also died when the boys were only 13 and 9.

Meaning our boy never really had a good role model for how to perform masculinity, and now that he’s an adult he finds himself pretending to be the type of man media told him he was supposed to be. Somewhere between Tyler Durden and Joey Tribbiani. He doesn’t think he’s very good at this performance.

The moment he turned 16, he started getting piercings to try and look less like his dad. The moment he turned 18 he got his tattoos to really separate himself from his father. Yuji thinks it’s insane, but Ryomen thinks it’s worth it to be able to look in the mirror without wanting to punch it.

His father reached out to him his senior year of high school. He offered to pay for 100% of Sukuna’s college tuition, as long as he majored in business and took over the “family” company once he graduated.

Yea, turns out dear old dads new wife couldn’t conceive, and his smoking had finally caught up with him in the form of lung cancer. Faced with an inevitable death, he was desperate for an heir.

Ryomen may have despised his father with everything in his being, but he realized how stupid it would be to throw away not only a free education, but also a guaranteed career. So he agreed.

OKAY now that that’s outta the way, let’s get into how he is in a relationship 😈

You are his first real relationship. He’s had “relationships” that lasted officially about 2 weeks at the longest. He’s had a plethora of situationships where he’d make promises he had no intention to keep. But as far as actually, serious, relationships you’re number one.

And genuinely this new emotion kinda scares the shit out of him. The first time he got love pangs he thought he was having a panic attack, the first time you brushed him off he felt like he shattered. this shit sucks yo, no wonder the Greeks thought it was a mental illness.

He has no idea how to properly love someone, he’s winging this shit: Doing everything entirely based on vibes

In his past “relationships” the moment conflict arose, he would leave. He doesn’t want to do that to you though, so head it is.

I’m not joking, the moment you have an issue he’s taking you to bed to try and distract you. And he’s always shocked when you still want to, ya know, communicate about issues you’re having after the fact. And he’s always even more shocked when you don’t just leave the moment conflict arises.

Did I mention he has no real concept of how healthy relationships work?

He’s trying though. He’s trying harder to make this work than he’s trying to keep his grades up.

Often catches himself flirting with other girls without even realizing it, it’s just second nature to him. He’ll always disengage the moment he realizes

Oh he’s jealous. Oh he’s so jealous. He sees you just talking to another guy and he’s spiraling in his head. He’s immediately getting involved and planting hickies on your neck right in front of whoever you’re talking to, because you’re his god damn it.

As such he loves to buy you jewelry. His dad’s got fuck you money, and he plans to spend it all on you. His current favorite thing to see you wear it a dainty, golden chain, with a ruby encrustedfrat b R hanging from it. It looked gorgeous on you, and marked you as undeniably his.

Suguru has 1000% had to talk him out of getting a tattoo of your name, this man is down so unbelievably bad. He’s never really been in love before, and now that he’s feeling it he’s overwhelmed by it.

This man really thought he was above getting pussy drunk until he hooked up with you. Now he realizes he’s is Not. At. All immune to it, and is actually quite prone to it!

Ultimately, his goal is to marry you after graduation, even though his fraternity brothers are highly against it. Not because they don’t like you, quite the contrary, they love you! But they all know that marrying your first love probably isn’t the move, and that the two of you have a lot of problems to work through. They want him to at least wait a few years before popping the question.

Still, every once in awhile he catches himself looking at rings and day dreaming about the future.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #jjk frat boy au #fratboy!sukuna #frat boy sukuna #sukuna ryomen #ryomen x reader #jjk sukuna #frat boy! Sukuna x reader

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mrs-monaghan · 7 months

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Hello Shaz

I would love to hear your opinion on 3D and all the talk around it

My thoughts on the talk around it is; "wow, well this is a load of garbage" (no offence to any friends I may have who don't like the song I just disagree that its a terrible song)

Alright. 3D. Let's talk. My thoughts. First, what's with the fucking homeless trousers??

I hate rich people 😭😭😭😭 if I wear this people will wonder why I didn't go back home to change after I fell in mud 😪

Anyhu, before i even say a thing. We should probably all try to remember that JK said this

(Thanks @chicknbunny13)

Yeah sure, even if he doesn't write a song, he may resonate with it. But not everything he does is a reflection of his actual life. This one, is for the Jikook antis btw. This is why my anons are still off. People, I dont have the energy for antis rn. JK sang 'girl' so what? This topic is super old and tired and consider it officially retired from this blog. I'm sooooo over it 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Now that we have that out of the way let's tackle the fact that our JK is a grown, grown adult. I don't need to bring back the live where he told people he's an adult and he is almost 30 and he will do what he wants to do. And if he wants to sing about this, that's exactly what he will sing about.

Oh my,

Even Jimin knows all about it

BAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

Let is be known i am choosing to take that sentence literally. I think JK just means him, the girl, with champagne and confetti. I really don't think it means anything else here. But, seeing as this is another sex song, I won't put it past him.

Anyone else notice a recurring theme here?

Okay then. 😳

Also shout out to this random kid with the horse

I can't be the only one who has no clue what his point was 😂😂😂

While we are on the champagne topic,

I mean....

Make no mistake, SEVEN and 3D are singing about the same thing. If SEVEN was in your face, 3D is subtle. But they are both just talking about sex here. Which is why it doesn't make sense to me why people are so upset??? As a person who likes Harlow and has heard his songs before, this did not shock me one bit. There is nothing wrong with this song. It is meaningless and shallow but guess what, thats the type of music the GP is listening to rn. I understand why Asians have an issue with this line

And I can respect that. I don't have to understand it, but if Asians say its offensive, then its offensive. In which case I think that's just ignorance on Harlow's part. The people behind the song and JK himself are not going to okay something degrading. So it is of my opinion that people are reading too much, way too much into something that aint even meant to be deep.

It's a song, about sex. The only thing deep about it, is the holes that will be getting penetrated.

This song doesn't require to be analysed. Okay, maybe when trying to decipher the analogies being used but that's it. JK has one agenda and one agenda only; release music that the general public will devour, get his name out there and be a huge pop star. And it is working.

Cue Boracity's new video about each member and who their target audience are for each solo project

youtube

JK did not write these songs. If he did I'm sure they would have more meaning. But that's not what he's aiming for rn. Right now the man just wants to put out something that he knows will sell. Wants to put out something that will be a hit. And 3D is exactly that. Just like SEVEN. Mans was asked for the meaning of the song and by his answer, I'm not sure even he knows.

What??

Did anyone understand that???? If you did, break it down for me coz I did NOT understand that 😂😂

This song has no meaning. Its shallow, catchy, easy to remember and move to. Enough with trying to complicate shit! It ain't that deep. Period.

JK cared more about the choreo.

While Jack is calling himself a whore for wanting 4 women, JK is busy dancing throughout. So I will listen to JK and enjoy the song and choreo. Because there is nothing in the lyrics and there was never intended to be.

Idk why y'all mad when we stan a consent king:

Personally I dont have time to be angry because 1) i see no reason to be, and 2) i am too busy admiring JK's body proportions 🤤🤤

Damn, Jimin's man is hot!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

#jungkook thirst trap #3d jungkook #3d jk #jungkook 3d #ask shaz #bts ask #jungkook #jeon j #bts #jikook #kookmin

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ladykailitha · 1 year

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Can Anybody See Me Part 4

Yeah...I’m sorry for the long wait on this one. I’m like a crow, I see a shiny, I go after said shiny. But I’m back to working on this one. Just a heads up tag limit is 50 and it’s been reached, so I haven’t replied to you about being on the list, that’s why. I’m sorry. I don’t know how people can do lists of 100 or more. I just can’t.

But because it took forever, this part is longer than usual. And you get Max AND Wayne.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

It was the last day before winter break and Steve still sat by himself. It wasn’t that Eddie hadn’t asked him to sit with him and his friends but Steve was resolute in keeping his distance from the Corroded Coffin boys. His reasoning was he was trying to protect them from the popular kids.

Eddie rolled his eyes, but respected his wishes. After all he had the rest of the year to wear him down.

But not today. Eddie immediately sat down when Steve did.

Steve looked around him in fear. “You can’t keep doing this, man. I don’t them to pick on you, too.” Billy had hip checked him into his locker just that morning.

Eddie grinned. “I’m immune.”

Steve’s jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. “No one is immune, Eds.”

Eddie leaned forward. “Their drug dealer is, especially if they want to keep buying weed.”

Steve blinked. “Oh shit. You’re the one Tommy would buy from.”

Eddie’s grin turned feral. “And if I wanted to make their lives miserable, I could get up on this table and declare you off limits and all the bullying would come to a complete standstill.”

Steve’s mouth worked but no words came. He settled for blushing and going back to digging at his food.

“But that’s not why I’m here, Harrington,” he continued, gleefully. “I was wondering what you were doing for Christmas.”

Steve’s brain went off line and it took a bit to come back on. “Um...I don’t know. My parents didn’t come home last year, just sent me a check to buy myself presents.”

Eddie winced. “Ouch.”

“If they weren’t expecting to see piles of loot around the house, I would have blown the whole thing on booze and weed.”

Eddie scoffed. “How much did they send you?”

Steve looked down at his tray, poking at his food. He licked his lips and coughed, “$375.”

Eddie’s eyebrows went up. “That’s a lot.”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t want fancy cars or piles of clothes I’m only going to wear once. Instruments I’ll never play. The latest movies and the biggest TV. I don’t want any of that.” He stabbed at his food again, this time with more force.

“You want them to care enough to come home,” Eddie reasoned. “When was the last time they were home?”

Steve scratched his cheek in thought. “Before Thanksgiving.”

“But not for Thanksgiving?” Eddie asked. The picture Steve was painting was starting to look pretty fucking grim.

“I think I ordered in,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, okay, dude,” Eddie growled. “If they don’t come home, you are coming over to my place.”

Steve put down his fork. “No, man. Please. I’ll be fine.”

Eddie jumped up on the table and slid across it. He planted both feet on the bench next to Steve and clasped his hands. “It’s not okay, dude. I know.”

Steve looked up at him in shock. “I didn’t‒I mean.” He looked down at his tray again. “That sucks.”

Eddie nudged him with his foot. “So you’ll come over if they don’t come home?”

Steve nodded. “I’ll give you my phone number, if you’ll give me yours.”

Eddie grinned. “And if you pretend that they came home, I will find out. I promise that.”

Steve laughed. “Whatever you say, man.”

“Munson!” the lunch lady screamed. “Get off the table!”

Eddie grinned. “And that’s my cue.” He jumped up.

“Exit stage left?” Steve asked.

Eddie laughed. “Drama’s already got it’s hooks into you, hasn’t it?”

Steve shrugged. “It’s been fun.”

“I’ll put my number in your locker later,” Eddie said.

“And I’ll get you mine after school,” Steve replied.

Eddie walked back to his table with his friends waiting for him.

“So what did he say?” Jeff asked.

Gareth huffed. “Let me guess, skiing in Aspen or even the Alps.”

Eddie shook his head. “His parents haven’t been home since before Thanksgiving.”

“But they’ll just send him a plane ticket to wherever they are, right?” Brian asked.

Again Eddie shook his head. “Last year they sent him a check to buy his own presents.”

The three other boys looked at each other in shock.

“What? Jeff squeaked.

“That’s what he said,” Eddie huffed. “I don’t think he’d lie. Not about that.”

“That is so messed up,” Gareth grumbled. “He loses his friends to fucking Bill Hargrove, his girlfriend to Byers, and now his parents aren’t coming home for Christmas? What the hell did this dude do in a past life to get fucked up so hard in this one?”

“I don’t know,” Brian said softly.

They all looked over at Steve who was pushing his food around his tray morosely.

“We’ve got do something for him,” Jeff said. “Eddie you know him the best.”

Eddie munched on a pretzel. “I guess. It’s not very well.”

“It’s better than nothing,” Brian pleaded.

Eddie dropped the pretzel he was holding. “Actually, I think I might have an idea on how to get more information on him without letting him know we’re doing it.”

The other three shared glances.

“Watcha got?” Gareth asked leaning forward.

“I’ve got a Max.”

They all looked confused as Eddie grinned.

Eddie had called Steve a couple of times over the weekend, but he was biding his time until his opportunity opened up.

It came that Sunday when Max slipped in front of her trailer while Eddie was cleaning off Wayne’s truck so that he could get to work.

“Whoa!” Eddie called out and jogged over to her. “Hey, you okay?”

She looked down at jeans and cursed when she saw a rip in the knee. “No. Those were my favorite jeans.”

Eddie winced. “I know how that goes.” He pointed to a rip in the knee of his own jeans.

“Yeah, but you make them look cool,” she grumbled. “I’m Max.”

Eddie grinned. “Well, Max, I’m Eddie.” He jutted his head over to the trailer behind him. “I live just over there.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know.”

“Which part?” he asked with a wink.

“All of it.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Fair enough.”

“Billy buys from you,” Max muttered.

Eddie grimaced. “Ah.”

She shrugged. “I get it, really. No judgment here.”

He stood up and held out his hand to her. She looked at it as if it would turn into a serpent, but sighed, taking it anyway. She slid a couple of times but he held her steady until she was firm on her feet.

“Want some hot chocolate?” he asked jutting his thumb behind him.

She looked at her trailer and then nodded. He opened the door and let her in. “I just need to finish the truck and I’ll be right in. And don’t worry about Uncle Wayne. He doesn’t bite.”

Uncle Wayne burst out laughing from inside the trailer. “Not hard anyway.”

Max smiled and went inside.

Eddie finished clearing off the truck of snow and went inside. He found Max at the counter with a mug in front of her. She had chosen the “Fuck Off Before I’ve Had My Coffee” mug. Eddie liked her already.

He picked the Garfield mug and went to cupboard, getting out the can of cocoa mix.

“How rich do you like it?” he asked, digging out a couple of spoons from the drawer.

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I like mine super rich, like half the cup is mix rich,” he said.

Max grimaced. “Not that rich.”

Eddie laughed. “About half that, then. You can always add more if you want.”

“Sure.”

He filled their mugs and went to the fridge. He pulled out milk and added some to his mug.

“That’s weird,” she said.

“Can’t afford to buy whip cream all the time,” he explained with a shrug. “So it adds a little creaminess to it.”

She scoffed. “Still weird.”

“Don’t knock until you try it.”

Just then the kettle went off and he filled their mugs with hot water.

“What grade are you in?” he asked after taking a sip.

She leaned over the counter. “How come yours is frothy and mine isn’t?”

Eddie grinned. “Should have had that milk, kid.”

Max thumped back into her seat. “I didn’t know it could do that.”

“Next cup,” he promised.

“You’re on,” she murmured.

“Still haven’t answered the question,” he said smiling over his mug.

“What are you the cops?” Max grumbled.

“I think it’s pretty obvious I’m not,” Eddie said with a chuckle.

She cocked her head to the side. “Yeah, I guess. Eighth.”

“You like it here?” he asked.

She scoffed. “No.”

Eddie laughed. “I hear that.”

Max frowned. “Weren’t you like, born here?”

“Oh hell, no,” Eddie said after drinking from his mug. “Moved out here when I nine or ten.”

Wayne came out of the bathroom, tucking his shirt into his pants. “You were nine. It was just before your birthday.”

Eddie grinned. “There you go. I can never remember if it was before or after.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Wayne said with a chuckle. “You came to me with a concussion.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “Best day ever, though.”

Wayne just shook his head. He grabbed his coat and gave Eddie a kiss on the cheek. “Be sure to lock up if you go anywhere.”

“Waaaayyynnne,” Eddie whined. “I’m nineteen! I’ve got this figured out.”

Wayne just raised an eyebrow before waving goodbye to them both.

Eddie looked over at Max who was glaring at him. “I thought you were in Steve’s class.”

Eddie grimaced. “Yeah...about that.”

She raised both her eyebrows.

“I didn’t graduate last year when I was supposed to,” he explained. “So they’re making me do a do-over.”

“You suck,” she said and went back to her cocoa.

“How do you know Steve?” Eddie asked leaning on the counter. “Like you said, he’s in my classes. You, however are an enigma.”

She shrugged. “He saved my life from a pack of rabid junkyard dogs.”

Eddie blinked. “Come again?”

Again she shrugged. “I’m not supposed to talk about it.”

Eddie raised his hands. “Okay then.”

She wrapped both hands around the cooling mug. “He talks about you a lot.”

Eddie frowned. “Yeah, what’s he say?” He wrapped his arms around his waist.

“That you’re too good for your own good,” she said.

“That was not what I was expecting, I was honest,” he murmured, shoving his hair into mouth.

Max reared her head back. “Why?”

“You’re new so you probably haven’t heard,” Eddie said through gritted teeth, “but they call me ‘The Freak’. I’ve tried to turn it into a positive, but it still stings.”

Again she shrugged. “I’ve heard Steve used to be an asshole. But I have yet to see it, so...”

Eddie set his mug down and hopped up on the counter. “He keeps trying to protect me, it’s a little disconcerting to be honest.”

Max laughed. “That’s Steve for you. It’s like an honest to god superhero.”

Eddie hunched his shoulders up around his ears. “I’m older than he is. I really don’t need his protection.”

She huffed out a breath. “You’re going to just have to deal with it.”

“I’m starting to get that,” he said. “But I’m going to wear him down and befriend the asshole if it takes until graduation.”

She shook her head. “Good luck. Usually it takes trauma for people to break to down his unusually high walls.”

“And you know all about those high walls, wouldn’t you?” Eddie said with a sly smile.

“It’s safer.” She paused for a moment. “But it would be good for Steve to have friends his own age that don’t include his ex and her new boyfriend.”

He winced. “Tell me about it. He spends time with them, but I can tell it hurts to do so.”

“I could help,” she murmured. “I could tell you what his interests and hobbies are.”

“You’re on.”

Eddie grinned. That worked better than planned.

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

Tag List: @the-redthread @howincrediblysapphicofyou @lovelyscot @dangdirtydemons @jaywhohasthegay @whimsicalwitchm @xjessicafaithx @cr0w-culture @kohlraedirectioner @jinxjinn @be-the-spark-bitch @chasinggeese @reportinglivefromsoda @bookbinderbitch @awkwardgravity1 @shucks-yuckyuck @stevesbipanic @phantypurple @huniibee @ashwinmeird @justforthedead89 @emly03 @evix-syne666 @renaissan-vvitch @deadlydodos @scarletzgo @messrs-weasley @kodaik97 @thedragonsaunt @butterflysandpeppermint @gregre369 @nelotegreitic @sundead @artiststarme @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @thing-a-ling @anaibis @garden-of-gay @matchingbatbites @spectrum-spectre @winterbuckwild @steve-the-hairrington @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @babyblender @cursedfoxteeth @novelnovella @throwbackthrowaway @strangersteddierthings @shrimply-a-menace

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #canon divergence #the boy with the bat #ladykailtiha writes

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heyidkyay · 2 months

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10 Things Y/n Can't Live Without | GQ

Got to watching Matty's old one of these and just decided to try and write one for reader, it's silly and short but if it might be something you're into then I hope you enjoy x

“Hi GQ, I’m Y/n, and you might’ve heard a couple of my songs if you’re stuck watching this- if not, then boo, you suck.”

She pauses, thinking on it, then winces slightly and looks straight past the cameras at one of the shoot’s directors.

“Can I say that? Is that too mean?” Before anyone can actually answer though, she waves a hand, “Ah fuck it, I don’t care. If Matty can act like a twat on his one, then so can I.” She bears a giant grin and then the lens closes in, switching from frame to frame to capture the few items she’s brought in.

“Why are you here then today?”

She blinks and then exaggerates her eyes at the sudden reminder, “Not even five minutes in and I’ve already messed this up. But yeah, sorry! Today, I’ve brought in my ten essential items, and I guess you’re wanting to see them.”

Wiggling her fingers, the scene then changes.

1 - “A Lighter.”

She hums in reply to the voice, looking down at the item and then back up again. “I bet, like, if you had Harry Styles on here, his first thing would be something really nice and lovely, like Emma by Jane Austen. Seems the type, right?”

Scratches her nose in thought, “But no, you’ve just got me.”

“And what a privilege it is.”

She laughs and gives a mock bow.

“Anyway, yeah.” She continues on, fiddling with the clunky silver antique in her hand, “Not much to say about it, really. If you need a light, I’m your gal. Always prepped for arson or the odd joint.”

“Okay, probably shouldn’t say that.”

“Right, yeah ‘course, sorry. Um, don’t smoke weed then, kids?” She points at the camera with a mocking salute before the scene then changes again and she’s asked to flick open the lighter for a different shot.

There’s a click and then the flame dies.

2 - A ziplock bag sits on top of the table. A basic run of the mill seal-again with a fading Tesco’s branded on one side.

“Ah, this is probably my most prized possession, I reckon.” Her eyes dance under the studio lights and a few chuckles can be heard from behind the camera.

“What are we looking at here?”

She drags the plastic baggy in closer and unzips it, taking a sniff of the strong scent that escapes. “Tea bags.”

“Tea bags? What kind?”

“Yorkshire through and through. Here in the states it’s so hard to find even a basic PG pyramid, let alone one of these babies.” She cradles it close to her chest, “Honestly would kill for a brew right now. But these things help me whenever I get a little too homesick- both on tour and when I’m just travelling.”

“Very lovely.”

“Very British.” She corrects with a wide grin.

3 - “I honestly want to meet the person who first invented headphones, because? Wow. What a man.” She sighs, almost reverently, opening up the AirPods case she holds with a single hand, one which seems to be covered in tiny stickers and a difficult to read engraving.

“Reckon they had to have been the world's biggest introvert at the time. I mean, just imagine shoving shit into your ears trying to escape the idiots sat ‘round you, but then doing one better and deciding that you’d much rather prefer to listen to something sick.”

“How are they essential to you?”

“It'll sound dramatic. But I actually feel like I’d be lost without them? In a sad way. They let me disconnect when I need to, and with a job like mine that’s really hard to do at times.”

“And the last song you listened to?”

She smirks, eyes squinting at the question as she glances into camera one. “A demo.”

“One of yours?”

She merely laughs, and the joyful sound of it echoing around the studio space. “No, I wish! We’ll be waiting on that one for a while longer still.”

4 - The next item is slid into shot.

“Ah, my phone.” She clutches it in one hand but looks down at it, almost saddened.

“It feels so stupid to say it’s an essential, because I miss the old days when we were all forced to go outside and knock about. But it really is. It has everything I need to keep me safe stored on there and also keeps me updated on things happening back home, just stuff like that. Plus, it really helps to keep my brain occupied on long flights and during meetings. So there’s always an upside.”

“What kind of case do you have on it?”

Her nose wrinkles as she glances down at the battered protecting she’s had since she first got the phone, and hums, “Just one of them hardshell ones- that what they're called? But yeah, it was a present- very much me, or so I’ve been told- and I was grateful for it. It’s scratched to bits now though, but my screen has yet to break!”

She winces, “I say that, but that’s it now. The next time it drops it’ll shatter, won’t it?”

5 - We watch as she sits a clunky old disposable before herself. It’s black and yellow, and slightly scuffed, but looks very well loved.

“Pretty self-explanatory. Just a camera, I take pictures, these things pair well together.” She turns it on and an unexpected flash goes off, “The price to print film is fucking extortionate though. So, don’t expect a copy of that.” She chuckles, alongside a couple of the camera crew and then slides the camera further down the table.

“If anyone were to get hold of it though, they’d have a proper field day- but alas, what happens on tour, stays on tour.”

6 - The next item is one she toys with for a long moment, looking down at its yellowed pages before settling it down gently before her so that the camera can get a close up.

“A novel?”

She shakes her head, wearing the beginnings of a fond smile.

“No, this little beauty is my first child.” She states, splaying a hand over the cover of a leatherbound journal. Which earns her a few raised brows that she just laughs at before picking the thing up to flick through. “It is! But it’s also your quintessential songbook. Packed full of stories and lyrics and messy scrawl. I’ve got things sellotaped in there too, just as reminders or for when I lack inspiration.”

“What sort of things?”

With a hum, she thinks about it. “Bottlecaps? Um, a couple polaroids... Think there’s a seashell or two in there as well, from the time I was visiting a friend of mine in Barbados. So yeah, I’ve had it for years, just keep adding pages in. Need a new one though. Desperately.”

“Can we have a look inside?”

She peers down the book, hands cradling it almost protectively now, then chews on her lower lip.

“You can say no.”

Her eyes dart upwards again, “No, you’re all good. It’s just personal, you know? But yeah, I can show you the first page or so.”

Slipping off the elastic binding it altogether, the book practically bursts open on its own. She’s quick to flick to the very first page, which sports a couple of film pictures as well as the odd sticker, but is mainly just filled with miniscule scribbles.

The camera zooms in for a closer shot.

“So, all the doodles and wobbly words are just from friends or other writers I’ve worked with.” She points to a little drawing of a t-rex in the corner, “This here, was my mate George’s work. He’s vandalised quite a bit of this book, I can’t lie. But we’ve known each other for ages, and he’s produced and worked on most of my music.”

Then she trails her finger lower and across a couple of names, “There, Lewis Capaldi wrote that I’ve got a great arse, and then Noel Gallager graced a corner with his scribbled signature- still aiming to get Liam’s somehow. But I’m working on it.”

She peers a little closer, looking for another story or detail to mention, “Oh, down here you can see a bit of blood! Like two or three splatters that stain the page.” She grins wickedly and glances back up at the camera, “That was from a time I tagged along to a Bring Me The Horizon tour, way back when. Oli sliced his hand on a guitar string and it was a proper mess. Bit mad looking back on it actually.

“What can you tell us about that main photo?”

She practically beams at the question, her gaze immediately shooting back towards the picture sat in the page’s very centre. It’s square and has its own doodled frame.

“That’s me and a couple of very good friends of mine. Bit of a difficult picture to make out, but only because it was taken with a flash and it’s about a decade old now.” She relays, dropping the notebook down on her forearm so that the camera guy can get a better look. “That’s Hann and Ross, and there’s G’s big smile. My oldest mate, Vin, is the idiot leaning over the shoulder of my cousin, Lol, in that very top corner, and then at the bottom there is Matty and I.”

“Very cosy.”

She smirks.

7 - “Number seven, what have you got for us?”

She huffs around an amused smile, “Do you know how hard it was to think of ten items? Like, if I was back home I’d’ve probably brought my mum’s dog along- or my settee. But I’m not, so I got stuck and as I was thinking about it I figured that these had to be an essential of mine. ‘Cause when I’m with the guys I’m sort of known for always having some sort of sweet treat on me.”

A pack of Haribo is placed down onto the table, alongside a red and yellow wrapped lollipop and a single bar of chocolate.

“So, you lot haven’t got any Tangfastics here- which is, I can’t even begin to fathom how you survive. Someone start a petition, please. But anyway, instead I’ve got these Zing things? Which are similar but not as good, no hate! Just the truth.”

She shrugs gently before opening the packet up and nicking one, then offers the rest of the packet outwards, smiling as a few step forward.

“These two… these are from back home.” She claims as she drags the remaining two items nearer, “The lolly is a drumstick, don’t know if you have them here, or have even heard of them, but we typically get them in mixed or party bags back home. They’re a favourite, but I reckon that’s just mainly down to my mum’s love of them. And then this,” She moves swiftly on, twirling a wrapped chocolate bar between her fingers whilst she smiles, “This is one item I can't live without. They’re the messiest things, but taste so fucking good.”

“What’s it called?”

“A flake? Usually we get them on a 99, but they do them in multipacks and in like your local.”

“A 99?”

Her eyes widen theatrically before she drops her head into her hands, “I can’t do this today. Do you really not know what I’m on about?”

8 - A blue passport is chucked up in the air and she almost topples out of her chair to catch it.

“Ha!” She grins, waving the thing about smugly before dropping it down again. “This felt so stupid to include, but I couldn’t not. I need this for most places I go; hotels, airports… sometimes even a club if I’ve forgotten or lost my ID. But yeah, I couldn't just show you a pack of Haribo and then not include my passport.”

9 - A clinking breaks up the quiet filming they’ve been wrapped up in as they move onto the next item.

“House keys!” She exclaims happily, rattling the horde of keys she now carries.

“To how many houses?”

She rolls her eyes, not unkindly, and then smiles, wrapping the keys up in between her palms. “Three. But don’t worry, they’re not all mine!” She feels the ridiculous need to make known, but she only receives a few curious glances in return.

Taking the first set between her forefinger and thumb, a silver key and brass chub, she shows them off to the camera lens, “These are to my mum and dad’s house, they let me in through the front door whenever I want. Although I guess they're more so for emergencies, ‘cause I still like to knock when I turn up.” She shrugs a single shoulder, swiping through the keys again, “Also have the one to their garage on here somewhere as well- see, it’s that small one right there.”

Next, she dangles a single fob key and another silver cut in view. “These are mine. They let me past the front gate and the other one opens the majority of whatever else. Probably shouldn't be letting the world know that.” She snorts, but ultimately shrugs before moving onto the last of the three.

“And these,” She says as she rattles the chain to reveal a rather large horde of other keys, “Are to my very first flat. I shared it with a mate at first then things evolved and changed, so we moved onto something bigger.”

“Why do you keep them?”

“Why not?” She quips, grinning down at the set, “I mean, they hold a lot of sentimental value to me. Not just in the sense that they belonged to my very first place, but the memories I made there.”

She smiles back up at the camera a second later, now holding a little lego person that had been dangling from one of the many rings, “And there’s this little guy, too. Never had the heart to get rid of him or separate him from the others, so he just stays there. He’s beyond recognition now and definitely seen some shit, I can’t lie- actually, you can barely even make out his face or the shirt he’s wearing. See?”

She holds the yellow figure further outwards. She’s right about how disfigured the thing is, but there’s a slight mohawk to be seen and a faded outline of what once would’ve been its shirt.

“Can you remember where it came from?”

“‘Course! A friend, at the time, gave it to me. I got proper jealous of the one he’d been given at some wedding or other, like, just loved playing with it whenever we were driving and stuff. I did end up forgetting I had them at times though, so he got me one of my own just so that he could finally have his keys back.”

Her laughter is contagious, and she looks to be caught up in the memory of it.

10 - “I haven’t really got a tenth one!”

Her claim is met with quiet protests to which she mirthfully shakes her head at, “Honest! I was really stressing about it on the way over here.” She chuckles before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Have you got a special mention then? Something you’d like to claim your tenth spot?”

She gives a wily little smile, as though she’s just thought of something but can’t say it. “I do.”

A silence settles, and they’re waiting for her to continue on so they can wrap up the shoot, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Well?” One of the directors asks with an intrigued chuckle, wanting to know now.

That smirk of hers doesn’t dim and so she just shrugs, “I can’t say, but they’ll know. And they’ll be so miffed they didn’t think of it first.” She almost cackles at the thought but just shakes her head instead, grinning away happily.

“They?”

“Uhuh,” She agrees and then sits up further in her chair, a sudden realisation hitting her, “You know what? I think this essentially is my ‘get away’ bag.”

“Pretty sure Matty said something of a similar degree.”

A scowl etches into her features at that and she rolls her eyes, “Oh my God. He’s such a copycat-”

…

“You have your ten essentials now.”

“I do! I have my ten essentials.” She smiles into the lens, eyes skimming over the people laid out beyond it, “Honestly thank you all so much for having me, this has actually been pretty fun. Like, sort of got to go down memory lane and whatnot.”

“Glad to have had you.”

“So, I guess the question now is, who’s on next?”

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@/user actually obsessed w her @/user so many questions 😭😭 @/user Swear I’ve seen that lighter before ⤷ @/user :link to an old instagram picture on @/the1975 account: @/user anyone see what was engraved on the airpods case? @/user A demo?? I swear if it’s one of the bands I’ll sob. @/user HER SONGBOOK. THAT PICTURE. THE FACT THAT SHE HAS OLI’S DNA JUST ON HAND ⤷ @/user They’re so cute. It hurts. @/user i want Lewis to look at my ass:/ @/user George’s lil dino kills me off 😭 @/user ‘What happens on tour, stays on tour.’ WHAT HAPPENS ON TOUR Y/N? ⤷ @/user THE WAY SHE JUST SMIRKS TOO @/user What this video’s taught me, if you need an arson accomplice yn is your gal x @/user The lego man’s shirt!! Definitely a box there. ⤷ @/user And the mohawk too?? Dead giveaway. @/user Her tenth has got to be Matty no? @/user THE WHOLE HOUSE KEYS BIT? WHAT?? Didn’t she share a flat with Matty at one point? ⤷ @/user No, they did. But also “..things evolved and changed, so we moved onto something bigger.” So WE moved… WE 🙂 ⤷⤷ @/user We’re really just skipping over “a friend, at the time” then.. Okay! @/user 6:12 That bit at the end?! They?? This has to be about Matty, right? He’s the only one who’s been on before! @/user Have they always been together? This has me so confused rn 😭 ⤷ @/user Welcome to the club lovely!:) ⤷⤷ @/user At this point I’m actually scared we’ll never know ngl ⤷⤷⤷ @/user They are my roman empire @/user Can we get one of the Derry Girls on please! It’s not a want, but a need.

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loveinhawkins · 1 year

Text

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 ao3

Eddie turns so he’s lying stretched out on his side, leaning on one elbow. Steve shifts gingerly so that his head is half propped up by the pillows—tilts his body to the side as much as he can with his cast. With Eddie’s couch pressed against the bed frame, it almost gives the illusion that they’re in one bed together: maybe it’s that, the casual intimacy of it, that makes it easier for Steve to start talking.

“It really wasn’t that bad to start with,” he says.

Oh, okay, Eddie thinks, so we’re doing this bullshit again.

He doesn’t dare interrupt though, because he understands the need to talk around something before getting into the heart of it—like letting a faucet run and run until the water turns clear.

Still, Steve must sense some of his thoughts, because one of his eyebrows twitches and he says, a little wryly, “Fuck off, I mean it. It was just, you know, the clock and all that haunted house crap. Like, yeah, I’m not exactly a fan of spiders, but I don’t have a phobia or anything.”

Eddie doesn’t contradict him, doesn’t say But it wasn’t just haunted house crap, was it?; doesn’t say that he remembers every moment of that awful drive, remembers Steve rambling about being late to someone who definitely wasn’t there. Right now, he wouldn’t stop him for anything.

“Things didn’t get, um, fuzzy until we were at my house. My head started killing me, I was worried that I was gonna throw up in the kitchen sink when I was talking to the kids—thank God I didn’t, at least they actually listened to me, and… When I was in my room, and Dustin—Dustin followed, that’s when…”

Steve gives a little grimace. “It got worse, felt like there was a fucking spike right in here.” He rubs at a spot in between his eyebrows. “Anyway, guess it sorta affected my whole, uh, thinking abilities ‘cause, um…” He winces with an embarrassed half shrug. “I’m sorry about the tape. I really didn’t notice until… Well. Pretty stupid of me.”

This time, Eddie can’t stop himself from replying. “No.”

Steve blinks at him. “No what?”

“No. Nope. You’re not gonna—don’t you fucking dare apologise for… for…”

For staring death down without complaint, for hiding pain silently…

Because I know you, Steve Harrington—you were so damn focused on keeping those kids safe that everything else was background noise.

Before Eddie can even begin trying to put all that into words, Steve says, “All right, okay. I’m—”

“Don’t,” Eddie says quickly, then realises that he’s been had, because Steve gives a tiny smirk.

“Gotcha.” He sighs, sobers. “Seriously, though. This is why I didn’t want… Didn’t want you to worry.”

“Oh, okay,” Eddie says faux brightly, like the thought’s only just occurred to him. “I won’t, then.”

It’s somehow the perfect thing to say, because Steve snorts, and the levity must ease him into the next part, because he keeps talking with barely a pause.

“So I was thinking—well, I kinda thought I knew what to expect from Max. She described… like nightmare stuff, red sky, all that Upside Down shit, and… But it—it wasn’t… It was like real life, to begin with. And that—” Steve inhales. “That tripped me up.”

He blinks rapidly a few times, as if steeling himself.

“I didn’t know it had… started, at first. Just thought I was still in your room. I should’ve guessed, ‘cause I couldn’t feel your—um, your hand anymore, but I wasn’t—there was a knock. At the door. Um. Well, like not just one knock, it was crazy loud, and—I just had this—I felt like I had to check, so I went to the door, and...” Steve’s voice fails, and he swallows once more, like the word is catching in his throat. He tries again. “A-and.”

Eddie reaches out, touches Steve’s forearm. “Steve, it’s—”

“It was Dustin,” Steve says in one breath. “He’d—it looked like he’d followed us. He was yelling, Eddie, he was so fucking angry, and I kept trying to tell him to—to go, but he wouldn’t listen, and then he—” Steve bites down hard on his bottom lip. “It was like when Max… but I couldn’t stop it. I-I was too slow.”

Eddie can feel Steve trembling. He doesn’t withdraw his hand.

“And then he fell, and he—he was so small, Eddie.” There’s a tremor in Steve’s voice, too. “There was so much blood, and it got in his hair, and I could…” Steve shakily rubs his fingertips together. “I could feel it. But then I… I knew it wasn’t right, ‘cause you weren’t there, and you would’ve been right behind me, I know you would’ve—and it was like, as soon as he knew I’d figured it out, everything went all creepy, all vine-covered and shit, but I just thought—” Steve laughs breathlessly. “Fuck, it was the best feeling. I just thought, oh, thank God, and ran.”

Eddie thinks of last night, of Steve’s nightmare. His chest floods with rage, with horror. His heart hurts.

“But then it got… it felt really… really weird, like, my head went all…” Steve tilts a hand back and forth. “Swimmy? I couldn’t remember what was happening, why I was—and then, it was a memory of—well, it felt like it was happening to me for the first time, like I couldn’t remember it was a memory, if that makes sense? Fuck, I don’t know.”

“It does,” Eddie says quietly.

“Okay. I, um. Do you know about Starcourt?”

“Buckley mentioned the… basics, I think,” Eddie says. “It sounded… nuts.”

Steve chuckles. “Yeah, pretty much. So for this—well, long story short, Robin and I got interrogated, and I got, uh, knocked around a bit.”

Eddie puts this through his Steve Translator, mentally changes a bit to a whole fucking lot.

“And we got drugged with this truth serum, don’t know what the hell was in it, but it was intense, and…” Steve’s hand drifts up to the side of his neck, rubs absentmindedly. “When the needle went in, I realised it was a memory, that it was wrong, because… someone else was drugging me. I kept thinking shit, he looks kinda young, like he kept staring, and I realised it must’ve been him—Vecna, I mean. When he was human. The drugs started—um, working, I guess. It felt exactly like it did when…”

Steve presses his lips together for a moment.

“Sorry. I don’t really like—I didn’t have control, like I was laughing even when I didn’t want to be, and that…” He shrugs again. “It messed with me for a while, after. There was—that winter, I had to get a tooth taken out, and I didn’t want them to use numbing, because it felt a bit like… Anyway.” Steve shakes his head. “Sorry. Got sidetracked. Where…?”

“You were in the memory,” Eddie prompts gently. He sort of hates himself for adding, “Drugged at Starcourt?” but he can tell that Steve needs a bit of a guide through the maze.

“Right. Yeah.” And inexplicably, Steve’s lips curve into a triumphant ghost of a smile. “That’s where he fucked up. ‘Cause, yeah, being drugged sucked, but it was also tied to—me and Robin, we…” Steve smile gets wider, but he also looks one second away from bursting into tears. “It was one of the best times of my life.”

Eddie smiles back, lets his hand drift down into Steve’s. Squeezes encouragingly.

“Once I’d remembered, made the connection, it was easy to… break out of the interrogation? I just ran to Robin, tried to stay there. Whenever the lights flickered, I guessed that he was catching up, so I went somewhere else, tried to keep outrunning him, basically. But I… it was hard to keep… I was getting tired.” His eyes close momentarily, deep in thought. “Sorry. Just trying to… things got foggy.”

“S’okay, Steve,” Eddie says—is not sure he can say much else with the growing lump in his throat. “Take your time, man.”

There’s a pause, and then Steve says, with mild surprise, “Oh, I saw El. I forgot… like, it was just a flash, I was in the woods with you—”

“Sorry?” Eddie says, and he doesn’t even cringe at himself for interrupting; that’s how baffled he is. “With me?”

“Uh, yeah? It only just happened, Eddie, your memory can’t be that bad. You know, The Upside Down, telling me I was a ‘good dude’, ring any bells?”

…What? You counted me being an asshole as a happy memory?

“No, that’s not why—of course I remember, I’m just… honoured I made the cut,” Eddie says, tries to tease.

But Steve doesn’t laugh, just blinks in confusion. “Yeah, why wouldn’t you—? Anyway, we were talking, and then I was sure I saw El just out the corner of my eye, and—she was yelling, I couldn’t hear her, but I could tell she needed more time, so I… tried to give her that.”

Eddie feels a hint of trepidation. “How?”

Steve sighs. “Okay. This bit really was stupid. I sort of…” Steve cringes slightly. “Goaded him?”

“…Steve,” Eddie says. Not stupid—stupidly fucking brave, but never… oh, Christ.

“I know, I know.”

No, you don’t.

“I dared him to find me. Said I wasn’t gonna stop running. And then—everything just disappeared for a moment, and then my head hurt, the worst yet, and then… He must’ve really been trying, ‘cause I couldn’t remember what I was doing again, and… It was all memories, and it felt almost like… you know when you’re dreaming, and a little part of you knows it’s a dream, but you still have to go along with it? Like that.”

Steve goes silent for a minute. Eventually, Eddie taps the back of his hand.

“You good?”

Steve sighs. “Yeah. Just… It’s… it’s silly.”

“I promise you it’s not.”

“It really is.” Steve’s mouth twitches, like he’s disapproving of himself. “Those memories, they… they weren’t horrific or anything, it was just mundane shit. Like, dinners or nights at home or whatever, and I was five, then ten, then…”

Eddie thinks of how he used to lump the Harrington House into the same detached scorn he’d view all of ‘the big houses’ in Hawkins, treat them like big, empty landmarks—as vacuous as the rich kids they’d shelter.

“But in one of them—the memories, I mean—I just snapped, ‘cause it was so boring. I smashed a plate, and that—it never happened in real life, but I just…” He closes his eyes, smiles ruefully. “I remember wanting them to look at me. Just once.”

Eddie lets out an almost inaudible breath, but it’s enough for Steve to shift in discomfort, as if he’s already trying to take back the words.

“Hey, chill,” Eddie says, not unkindly. “It’s not like your folks are gonna hear you say—”

“I’m not—it’s just, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“What?”

Steve is frowning. “It’s not like they were hitting me, Eddie.”

Eddie thinks of Steve in the RV, slipping into another memory, desperate to be heard: I didn’t, Dad, I didn’t. I’m not lying.

Eddie realises that he doesn’t need to say that there’s more than one way to hurt someone, because, of course, Steve already knows. Instead he digs deep and echoes something Wayne has told him, long ago.

“Once is enough, Steve.”

Steve blinks. One tear falls. Another. Then more. It’s quiet, but not forcibly stifled, not this time. It’s like a release.

“O-okay.” He sniffs, slowly wipes at his face. “He… he caught me, eventually. Or I guess not eventually, if it was really quick on your end. He was—furious. Whatever El was doing along with Robin and Nance must’ve been hitting him, and…”

Eddie feels Steve flinch. “Hey, are you—?”

“He clawed at my…” Steve gestures down to his healing bat-inflicted wounds. “It… hurt. But what was worse is that he—” Steve grits his teeth, swallows back more tears. Eddie can hear the painful click of his throat. “He said that I failed. That after he killed me, he was gonna kill… e-everyone. That I was an idiot to even think I could save… And then I was falling, and I could—I could hear you, but it was all distant and I couldn’t… it fucking scared me, ‘cause I knew you must’ve been touching me, but I—I couldn’t feel…”

Steve’s eyes look haunted. He glances at Eddie.

“That must’ve been when I…?”

Eddie can’t speak. Nods.

I felt you go.

He doesn’t realise that he’s crying until Steve’s hand tentatively reaches across, swipes underneath his eyes.

“Hey, come on. It’s not worth all that.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Eddie says shakily, manages a wet smile. “I decide who’s worthy of my tears, asshole.”

And you definitely are. A thousand times over.

He feels when Steve’s hand slowly falls like he can’t find the energy to hold it up; when instead of his breath catching on a word, it catches on a yawn.

“Shh,” Eddie says when Steve looks like he’s trying to speak again. “That’s enough for now, huh?” he adds gently.

Steve sighs, but he looks grateful. He lets his head sink down more into the pillow and says, “Thanks, Eddie.”

But every time his eyelids so much as droop, he seems to banish the drowsiness with fierce determination, over and over again. It looks like it hurts.

“Why don’t you want to sleep?” Eddie whispers, when it’s clear Steve isn’t going to stop.

Another sigh. “It’s not that I don’t want to—it just… feels too much like.” For a second, Steve’s eyes drift to that unknown point in the distance again. “Like… leaving,” he says. Then he jolts in alarm, fingers reaching out to carefully brush Eddie’s cheek and oh, this again, Eddie thinks, as he blinks through more tears.

“Can I try something?” he asks when he knows his voice won’t break.

Steve nods.

Eddie’s hand returns to the bedsheets, finds Steve’s palm. Traces two letters.

Hi.

“Feel that?”

Steve smiles. “Yeah.”

“Even when your eyes are shut, you can still feel that, yeah? You’re not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Oh, well, if you promise,” Steve teases. His blinks are slowing now, each lasting a little longer than the one before it. But he doesn’t allow his eyes to stay closed.

Eddie feels a surge of affection so strong that for a fleeting moment, he wonders if he’s going to cry again. “Hey, Sir Stubborn. At least rest your eyes, sweetheart.”

“What if I want to—” Steve barely manages to suppress a yawn, “—keep looking at you?”

“Uh-huh. Flatter me all you want in the morning.”

“Rude,” Steve laughs sleepily. “Meant it. Hey, Eddie. Wanna know a secret?”

“Oh, if I must.”

“In… in the RV.” And Steve yawns deeply, like it’s been building for a while; he looks so, so tired. “When all the… haunted house crap. Know why it was… so easy?”

He keeps having to yawn every few words. Eddie’s heart twinges.

“Why?” he murmurs.

“Whenever I looked at you… all that shit… never touched you. You just stayed… you were so… lovely.”

Eddie’s throat is tight with emotion. He reaches out, drifts his fingers along Steve’s brow, until Steve’s eyes finally remain shut, until he feels him drift into sleep.

#steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #the self sacrificial steve agenda #steve x eddie

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sattlersquarry · 1 year

Text

the end is here (steve harrington x gn!reader)

Summary: (Season 4 adjacent) Your boyfriend Steve Harrington is keeping secrets from you, and you aren't sure how much longer you can take it. (Title comes from "I Know The End" by Phoebe Bridgers.)

This is a direct continuation of the video store frame-up of '86. You don't have to read that one to get it but I recommend it!

Word Count: ~5.3k

Warnings: angst up the wazoo w/ a happy ending, language, mentions of sex, some violence and mentions of medical emergencies/broken legs/painkillers.

A/N: Tonally, this is quite different from the video store frame up of '86 but I wanted to explore what it'd be like to be an outsider in Hawkins during Season 4 when all the shit is going down.

gif is from the Netflix giphy account

March, 1986

Working with Steve is fun, and your relationship blossoms the more time you spend together. However, there’s still a nagging thought in the back of your mind—the thought that he’s keeping something from you. Something big. You ignore it as best you can, but you have a feeling that your curiosity is going to catch up to you.

And it does the day you clock into your shift and see Steve, Robin, and two of their friends searching the Family Video database for an unfamiliar name.

“Uh, who’s Rick Lipton,” you say, “and why are you four stalking his rental history?”

The group whirls around, startled by your sudden appearance.

“Y/N! Hey!” Steve says. He angles his body so you can’t read the computer. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for my shift, same as you,” you say. You crane your neck to get a better look at the screen. “So, does he have mega late fees or something?”

“Who?” Robin asks innocently.

“Who else? Rick Lipton, the guy you’re looking up.”

“It’s nothing like that,” the curly-haired boy with them says. He’s Dustin, one of Steve’s closest friends.

The name of the girl, with plaited red hair and sharp blue eyes, escapes you. Margie…Melanie…Meg…it starts with an M. You’re certain of that much.

“Max and Dustin were just leaving,” Steve says, giving them a look.

Max! That was it.

“But we need you to drive us,” Max says to Steve.

“Drive to Rick’s?” you guess. “Why?”

Steve looks different than you’ve ever seen him. He’s agitated. Not the kind of agitated you’re used to: frustrated with Keith’s many demands or annoyed with his role as resident carpool king. No, he seems…scared.

“Rick and Dustin have a mutual friend,” Steve says coolly, attempting to assuage your curiosity (and failing). “We just need to check up on him, that’s all.”

“And it’s a time-sensitive matter,” Dustin says. “So we need to go now.”

He starts dragging Steve and Robin toward the front doors, Max on their heels.

“Can’t it wait?” you say. “I can’t run the store myself!”

“Sorry!” Robin says with an apologetic grin. “We’ll make it up to you! I’ll cover any shift, promise!”

Steve wrenches free from Dustin’s grasp. He returns to the counter, and you think he’s going to say he won’t leave you alone.

Instead, he reaches under the counter to grab his jacket and car keys.

“I’m so sorry to ditch,” he says quietly. “Seriously, I know this is a dick move.”

“Mm-hm,” you say, eyes narrowed.

“But it’s important. Dustin’s friend might be in danger.”

“What kind of danger?”

“I can’t tell you.”

You scowl.

“Please don’t be pissed,” Steve begs. “It’s a slow day, and Keith will be around later. You’ve got this!”

You’re mad. But you’re also a bit worried. Steve’s very responsible and wouldn’t leave unless it was important. And he still looks so scared…

“Steve…what’s really going on?” You step closer and lower your voice. “Is everything okay with you? I mean, I know you’re worried about Dustin’s friend, but—“

“I’m fine,” Steve says. He kisses your temple. “I’ll call you tonight. Okay?”

You nod and force a smile, watching him race out of the store and unlock his car for his friends. They pile into the BMW and zip away.

Someone clears their throat. You snap your head to the right, where a punk kid with spiky hair stands by the cassettes.

“Do you have the newest Madonna tape?” he asks, shocking you with his music taste, considering his whole vibe.

“Uh, yeah,” you say, thankful for the distraction. “I’ll help you find it.”

***

Steve doesn’t call you that night. Or the next morning.

And when you arrive for your next shift, you’re greeted by Keith at the counter, not Steve or Robin.

“Where’s Steve?” you ask.

“Your loverboy called in sick,” Keith says, before taking a huge bite of a breakfast burrito. You wince as he continues talking with his mouth full: “Buckley is sick too, so it’s just you and me today.”

“Great,” you say flatly. Both Steve and Robin being sick the same day isn’t inherently suspicious—they are best friends and hang out all the time. But after what transpired yesterday, their absence is fishy.

That, plus the fact that Steve had the time to call Keith and not you, sours your mood.

“And since they’re out, I’ll need you to work a double.”

“Fantastic,” you snap. “That's exactly how I wanted to spend my Sunday.”

“Hey!” Keith says. “No sass. Family Video employees must remain upbeat and positive at all times. We want our establishment to be a welcoming place. Not a dark hole of pessimism…like Blockbuster.”

You plaster on a big, fake grin.

“Much better,” Keith says smugly, before disappearing to the back room to file some paperwork.

The day drags on. There isn’t much traffic to the store, due to the announcement that not one but two Hawkins High students were killed. People seem too scared to go anywhere or do much of anything.

On your lunch break, you call the Harrington house. No answer. Either Steve is too sick to reach for the phone on his nightstand, which frightens you, or he’s off with his friends.

You wonder if Dustin’s friend, the one they went to find, is one of the victims. The thought makes your stomach twist. Maybe that’s why you hadn’t heard from Steve or why he wasn’t home—he needed to comfort the younger boy through his grief.

When it’s finally closing time, you decide to drive by the Harrington house to check in. No BMW in the driveway confirms that he’s definitely not home sick.

You feel a bit sick yourself wondering where he is and what’s going on.

***

The next day is your day off. You call Steve first thing when you wake up. You also drive by his house again after breakfast. It’s like he disappeared off the face of the earth…

…until you take a shortcut down Maple Street and see his BMW parked at the Wheeler’s house.

You haven’t heard from him in two days, and his car is at his ex-girlfriend Nancy’s house. You feel numb.

Steve didn’t seem like the type of person to stoop to infidelity, but you haven’t known him for that long. And he (and his friends) are definitely keeping something from you. Maybe all that “Rick Lipton” stuff was a cover-up so Steve could hang out with his friends and cozy up with his ex.

You hate how jealous you feel. You hate how it makes you want to cry, scream, and throw a brick through the BMW’s windshield.

Against your better judgment, you park by the curb and stomp toward the front door. You aren’t usually a confrontational person, but you feel a spark of anger that won’t be tamped down unless you get some answers.

You ring the doorbell and knock, for good measure. A tired-looking, middle-aged man opens the door.

“Can I help you?” Mr. Wheeler drawls.

“Is Steve here?” you ask, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

“The troublemakers are in the basement,” he says. He sarcastically adds, “We already have enough guests to legally be considered a hotel. What’s one more?”

Mr. Wheeler opens the door a bit wider and allows you in, pointing you in the direction of the basement door. You thank him before charging down the steps.

Dustin and Max are down there, along with their other friend Lucas. Max scribbles furiously at the desk while the boys sit on the sofa, heads bent low while they discuss something with hushed voices.

“Where’s Steve?” you demand, scanning the room as if you expect him to pop out from behind a corner.

“Whoa!” Lucas says. “How’d you get in here Y/N?”

“Mr. Wheeler let me in. He’s a real peach. So. Steve?”

“He’s upstairs in Nancy’s room,” Dustin says.

Your eyes widen.

“Not like that!” Dustin says quickly, sensing the miscommunication. “They’re just talking!”

“Talking alone in her room?”

“To be fair,” Lucas says, “Robin’s there too, so it’s not like it’s romantic.”

“And it wouldn’t be!” Dustin says. “Steve only has eyes for you. He told me so.”

“You, and Phoebe Cates,” Lucas corrects.

“Right. You, Phoebe Cates, and maybe Cindy Crawford.”

“Definitely Cindy Crawford,” Lucas says. “Have you seen her?”

Max turns in her seat and glares at Lucas. He gulps.

“I mean, Cindy’s not my type. But Steve loves her.”

Your turn to glare.

“Not as much as he loves you!” Lucas says. He turns to Dustin. “We’re making things worse, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” you say. “I’m gonna go talk to him.”

“You can’t,” Dustin says. “They’re a bit preoccupied. And I know that sounds suspicious, but I promise. Steve isn’t cheating on you.”

“Then what is he doing?” you say. “And why hasn’t he called me?”

“All good questions,” Dustin says. “But I can’t answer them.” He gestures to an armchair nearby. “You can wait for Steve if you want. I’m sure he’d love to see you.”

You consider it, but this whole situation is weirding you out. What are Steve, Robin, and Nancy so preoccupied with anyway? Does it have to do with the murders? And why won’t anyone just tell you what’s going on?!

“I have to go,” you say, voice clipped. “Just tell him to call me.”

You storm up the stairs and out of the house. A sense of dread overwhelms you—dread that threatens to swallow you whole.

***

At around 11 o’clock that night, someone knocks at your apartment door.

In a half-asleep stupor, you stumble to it, gripping your baseball bat. No one should be visiting this late, unless—

“Y/N? It’s Steve! Can we talk?”

You huff and put the bat down, opening the door for your (sheepish-looking) boyfriend.

Your facial expression remains stony as you study him.

“Hey,” he says. He clears his throat. “Can I come in?”

In lieu of a response, you turn on your heel and stomp to your couch. Steve locks the door behind him and follows.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, sitting next to you. He reaches to put an arm around you, and you pull away. He deflates. “Babe—”

“Is this the part where you say you can’t tell me what’s going on?” you snap. “And you promise to call me tomorrow, but then you don’t, and the only reason I’ll know you aren’t dead is because I’ll see your car at your fucking ex-girlfriend’s house?”

Steve closes his eyes and sighs.

“I deserve that. But it’s not what you think. Whatever you think is going on, I promise, it’s not that.”

“So, what is going on?” you say.

He turns away and rubs his face.

“I—”

“You’re sorry,” you deadpan. “Why don’t you throw in one more? Best things come in threes, you know.”

You’re being unfair. You know this. Steve’s obviously very upset about something, and you’re being too harsh. But the way he’s acting, and the way he’s not giving you a real answer why, is driving you insane.

He hesitates and reaches for your hand. You allow him to take it.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. His eyes are wide and mournful and desperate. “But I just can’t talk about it. Not right now. I’ll make it up to you. Anything you want me to do, I’ll do it.”

You take a deep breath and feel your anger evaporate at his sincereness.

“You could start by kissing me?” you say.

Steve’s face splits into a grin and he leans in, kissing you softly.

Well, it starts soft. The heat picks up a bit too fast for your liking, and you push him away.

“Whoa buddy,” you say. “I’m so not in the mood for make-up sex right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, blushing. “I didn’t mean to push.”

“I actually need to get some sleep,” you say. “Care to join me?”

“I really should be getting back,” Steve says, glancing at his watch. “Max is going through a really hard time right now. She needs as much support as she can get.”

You want to know more details, so you try not to be too specific and ask, “Do you think she’ll be okay?”

Steve nods.

“She’s strong,” he says. “She’ll be fine. She has to be.”

He kisses you goodnight and leaves.

This time, he doesn’t promise to call. You aren’t sure if that makes you feel better or worse.

***

The next night, Steve shows up again much too late, looking as if he’s seen a ghost.

He’s wearing the same navy polo and jeans from yesterday. You don’t know how you feel about that, as the reminder that Max and the group are staying at Nancy Wheeler’s house rattles around in your head.

“How’s Max?” you ask, pouring Steve a cup of tea.

“She’s a bit better,” he says. He rubs his eyes. “It’s sort of…touch and go.”

You sit across from him at the table with your own mug and ask, “I hope I’m not being insanely nosy, but is she…sick?”

“Not really sick, exactly. At least, not physically.” Steve hesitates before adding, “She’s grieving. She lost her brother Billy at Starcourt. She hasn’t been the same since then.”

The Starcourt Fire of 1985. It was a big stain on Hawkins history, along with the myriad of disappearances, deaths, and government conspiracies that marred the town’s legacy.

You aren’t sure how to respond. You settle for drinking your tea in a slightly uncomfortable silence.

“You know,” you say after a beat, “I have a bunch of old board games and movies. I could bring them over to the Wheeler’s place tomorrow if Max wants to check them out. It might lift her spirits.”

“No,” Steve says quickly. Off your hurt look, he says, “No, sorry. I mean, we won’t be at the Wheeler’s tomorrow. We’re going for a drive.”

“A drive?”

“Yeah, a drive in the…in the countryside. So Max can clear her head.”

He’s lying to you. He’s lying to you and he’s bad at it and it makes you sad and mad all at once.

“Please, for the love of god, cut the bullshit,” you say. You slam your tea down harder than intended and it sloshes across the tabletop. “What are you guys actually doing?”

Frustration flashes across his features.

“I told you, I really can’t tell you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Don’t say that! It’s not!” Steve says, voice raising. He stands from the table. “I can’t tell you! Why can’t you just accept that?”

You stand as well, crossing your arms.

“You’ve got to at least get your story straight if you’re going to lie, deceive, and leave me out!” you yell. “What is this really about? Because first it was all about Dustin’s friend, and now it’s Max. Or does it have something to do with the murders?”

Steve goes ghostly pale at the mention of the recent killings.

“I won’t tell you,” Steve says firmly, a fraction more calm than he was moments before. “It’s too dangerous.”

“So it does have to do with the—”

“I have to go,” Steve says, storming toward the front door.

“Steve Harrington, you get back here!” you call, following him.

Too late. He’s out the door, slamming it behind him.

As soon as he’s gone, your resolve just crumbles. You cry. You cry, because your sweet, sensitive boyfriend is acting like a different person. You cry because he’s obviously hurting and in some kind of trouble but won’t talk about it, making it impossible to help him. You cry because you don’t want to lose him, because you’ve only been dating for a short time but you might love him. Because you aren’t sure how much longer you can do this.

***

You’re back at the Family Video the next day, working alongside Keith and Randy, a former employee home from college on spring break. Randy’s a pretentious film student who won’t shut up about movies you’ve never seen. It makes you wish you were working with Steve today, despite last night’s argument. You aren’t even sure if Steve wants to be your boyfriend anymore, and that thought tortures you all day.

“The Godfather is a perfect film,” Randy drones as the two of you log returns in the computer. “Have you seen it?”

“No, I prefer comedies.”

Randy scoffs.

“Oh, that drivel?”

“Comedy is not drivel!” you protest. “People need to laugh sometimes.”

You spend the rest of your shift defending your favorite movies, and you seriously consider whacking Randy upside the head when he insults The Muppets Take Manhattan.

Again, you drive past Steve’s house, and are surprised to see his car parked in its usual spot.

“Steve?” you call, banging on the door. “It’s Y/N. Are you home? Can we talk?”

You continue knocking and shouting for him to answer, to no avail. Eventually, his next-door neighbor yells for you to shut it, so you leave.

At 2:30 in the morning, your phone rings. You mumble a “Hello?” into the receiver, wondering if you’re dreaming.

“Hey, Y/N.”

It’s Steve. You figured as much. Who else would call so late?

“Hey,” you say, feeling more awake than you did before.

Part of you wonders if this is evidence of some kind of shift in your relationship. Maybe Steve doesn’t want to actually date you anymore. Maybe he just wants to sleep with you, and that’s why he’s only been visiting and calling late at night, and not talking about what’s going on. You don’t like that thought.

“I’m so glad to hear your voice,” Steve says with a deep sigh.

He sounds weary, and almost hoarse. This panics you. Under normal circumstances, you’d think he was just sick. But now, you aren’t sure what to think.

“Steve, where are you?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does! Are you okay? You sound weak.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I don’t mean it as an insult! Seriously. Do you need me to come get you? Or call an ambulance, or something?”

“I’m fine, Y/N. Just tired. Tired, and missing you.”

“Well, then, why don’t you come over?” you say. You tamp down your worry and try a different tactic: “Maybe we can finally give that make-up sex a try.”

You hear a chorus of “Ew, gross!” and “Gag me with a spoon.”

“Sorry, I should’ve told you,” Steve mumbles, “I’m not alone.”

“Yeah, I got that now. Is Max doing okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. We're at her place now. I just wanted to…no, I needed to call you and say sorry. These past few days, I’ve been really shitty to you.”

“You kind of have been,” you say. “But I haven’t been very supportive. I’m sorry too. Whatever’s going on, I hope it, um…gets better.”

“Thanks,” Steve says. “Oh, and about the make-up sex—can we get a rain check?”

“I’ll see if I can pencil you in my busy social schedule,” you tease. “Call me tomorrow night?”

“I will,” Steve says. His voice wavers and he adds, “I promise.”

***

The next night, he does call. Still wearing his gear from the Vecna battle, he calls your house from the hospital payphone minutes after Max is wheeled into surgery.

“Pick up, pick up!” he grumbles. “Why aren’t they answering?!”

“Have you tried calling Family Video?” Robin says. “It’s inventory night. Keith always makes us stay late for inventory.”

“Oh, fuck,” Steve says. He looks at Robin with panicked eyes. “We were supposed to be there for inventory. Did you remember to call out for us?”

“I thought you did!”

“Here’s some more quarters,” Nancy says, appearing from around the corner with a handful of coins. “After you call Y/N, I need to call Max’s mom and the Sinclairs. Robin, have you called your family yet?”

Steve dials the Family Video number and waits with bated breath. He groans when the call doesn’t connect. He needs to hear your voice, to know you’re okay after the earthquake.

Unfortunately, you are far from okay.

You’re at the store doing inventory with Randy, listening to more of his dry takes, when the earthquake hits.

Randy immediately begins to panic.

“There’s no tub!” he screams over the sound of the rattling earth.

“Huh?!” you yell back, holding onto the counter for dear life.

“In an earthquake, you’re supposed to hide in a tub!” He scans the room and gasps. “Or a doorframe!”

He darts toward the doorframe that leads to the back room.

“Randy, stop running!” you scream. “You’ll hurt yourself!”

You notice a tall shelf of tapes tip forward and you surge ahead, pushing Randy out of the way as the shelf hits the ground. In the scuffle, one of your legs gets pinned underneath it.

A bloodcurdling scream echoes through the store. It takes you a minute to realize the sound is coming from you and not from some banshee.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Randy yells. “Y/N, are you okay?”

The earthquake slows, the violent shaking making way for a quiet rumble. He runs back to you and tries to lift the shelf off of you, with no luck.

“It’s too heavy,” he says, face pinched with fear and a bit of guilt. “Can you move your leg at all?”

You wince and shake your head, tears running down your face.

“I can’t move it,” you say. You sniffle. “It hurts really really bad.”

“I’ll call for help!” Randy says. He grabs the phone off the counter and curses. He tries the second phone, and then races to Keith’s office to try the third. “No signal. I guess the quake took out the telephone lines. I’ll go get someone!”

“Don’t leave me!” you cry out. “Please!”

“I’ll be right back,” Randy says. “I promise! And I’ll reevaluate my stance on comedies, just for you.”

“I appreciate that,” you say through sobs.

Randy rushes out into the night, and you hear him shouting, “Hey, hey! We need an ambulance!”

As you lay alone in the video store in unimaginable pain, you worry. You worry about Steve and his friends, hoping they fared better than you in the natural disaster. You worry about your leg, wondering if you’ll ever be able to use it the same again. You worry that you wasted your time being upset with Steve, and—in a particularly dark moment—you worry that you may never see him again.

After what feels like an eternity, Randy returns with a group of paramedics.

“Hey there,” one of them says. “Are you Y/N?”

“The one and only,” you say through gritted teeth. “I can’t feel my leg anymore. Are you going to have to amputate it? Please say no.”

“Amputations are rare,” another paramedic reassures you. You breathe a sigh of relief. “Let’s get this thing off you and get you to the hospital, yeah?”

***

The rest of the night is a blur for you. The paramedics free your leg and pump you full of so many painkillers, it’s hard to focus on much of anything.

You don’t feel fully like yourself again until the next morning, when you wake up in a hospital bed with a bright blue cast on your leg.

A soft snore to your left indicates company. You are so relieved to see it’s—

“Steve!” you shout, startling him awake. “What happened to your neck?!”

“Y/N, oh my god,” Steve says, jumping from the armchair he was uncomfortably squished into. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

“Did someone choke you?” you say, sitting up against your pillows. “Who do I need to fight?”

“You aren’t fighting anyone until that’s gone,” Steve says, pointing to your cast. He gingerly sits on the edge of the bed, careful of your leg. “Geez, I was so worried about you. I called and called, both the store and your house, and then I saw some paramedics bring you in on a stretcher, and I just panicked. I was so afraid I was going to lose you.”

You reach over and hold both of his hands with yours. He smiles at you, but his eyes are sad.

“I’m here,” you say. You wince. “My leg hurts like hell, and I’ll probably never walk, run, or swim as fast as I used to, but I’m here.”

“I’m so glad you are,” he says quietly. He sucks in a breath. “Max got really badly hurt in…in the quake. She’s unconscious and they don’t know when…if…she’ll wake up.”

“Oh, Steve, I’m so sorry.”

You pull him into a hug, and he holds you tightly.

You know you should keep your mouth shut and just be in this moment with him, but a nagging thought in your mind won’t leave you alone.

“Steve,” you say quietly, pulling away. “I don’t usually believe in ultimatums, because things aren’t usually so black-and-white. But I’m about to give you one. Please don’t hate me.”

Worry flashes in his eyes. He shakes his head.

“I could never hate you,” he says, voice cracking.

You squeeze his hands and say: “If you can’t be honest with me about what’s going on, I think we have to break up.”

Steve’s eyes widen.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, before he can say anything. “I know that’s so unfair. But what’s a relationship without honesty and communication, and we just…don’t have that at the moment. I have the sneaking suspicion that this earthquake and the killings are connected, and I think you know more than you’re letting on. The earthquake did this—” You gesture to your leg. “And I feel like I have a right to know the truth. To know what’s hurting you. Please, Steve. Just tell me.”

You watch his facial expression. Unreadable emotions flick across his features, and you can tell he’s brainstorming. Thinking hard, trying to determine the right thing to say next.

“Y/N,” he says, voice low. “It’s dangerous. Really dangerous. I don’t want to involve you if I can help it.”

“Steve—”

“I don’t want you to get hurt—”

“I already got hurt!”

“I won’t put you in any more danger,” Steve says. He looks about two seconds from sobbing, but he says, “Ignorance is bliss, right?”

It guts you to do so, but you gingerly drop his hands.

“Okay.”

“Y/N, can we just—”

“I think you should leave.” You can’t even look at him as you say it, instead staring at some wilting daisies on the windowsill.

Steve opens his mouth as if he’s going to protest, but closes it and nods.

“If that’s what you really want, I’ll go,” he whispers.

You nod, despite the part of you deep down screaming for him to stay.

He hesitates before walking out.

***

A day and a half later, you’ve been discharged from the hospital. From your perch on your couch, you watch ash swirling outside your window. The sight is terrifying, and the news is full of weathermen trying to make sense of the strange weather pattern.

Knock, knock, knock, knock!

You hobble to your feet, clumsy as a baby deer due to your crutches, and open the door.

“Steve!” you say, a bit shocked (yet relieved). He’s got flakes of ash on his head and shoulders, looking like a dusting of snow. “Hey, I was going to call you. I think I made a big mistake—”

“I want to tell you everything,” he blurts out.

You stumble a bit and he grabs your shoulders to steady you.

“Really?” you say. “Because I thought about it, and you don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Steve says. “You’re right. I need to be fully honest. And, frankly, I can’t do this without you.”

So you let him in, and you sit on the couch with your injured leg propped on pillows while he tells you everything. About Will Byers going missing, and how he wasn’t just lost in the woods like everyone thought. About how he came back from another dimension but he brought something dark and twisted with him, an evil sort of presence. How that evil presence latched onto Max’s brother Billy last summer and used him as a general of sorts, collecting more soldiers to create a terrifying monster. How the mastermind behind the plan, Vecna/Henry Creel/One, is the real murderer.

“Everyone thinks it was Eddie,” Steve says, looking down at his feet. “But Eddie sacrificed himself so the bats wouldn’t swarm our version of Hawkins. If he hadn’t done that, the casualties would’ve been a lot worse.”

“And Vecna tried to kill Max too?” you say. The first thing you’ve said since he started his tale.

“He did kill Max. But she came back, somehow. It’s a miracle.”

You aren’t sure what to say. Monsters and alternate dimensions and evil doctors. It’s all the stuff of science fiction…right?

Steve huffs out a laugh at the twisted frown on your face.

“You don’t believe me,” he says.

“No! I do. I’m just…processing.”

“It’s all true,” Steve says. “Every word. And as much as it sucks, I have to help my friends stop Vecna and destroy the Upside Down once and for all. Once we do that, maybe things can get back to normal.”

“Sounds like a plan. When do we start?”

Steve’s brows pull together.

“Uh, did you just say ‘we’?”

“I did. I want to help.”

“No way!” Steve scoffs. “I told you because I didn’t want to keep it from you anymore. Not because I want you to get involved in this fight.”

“Steve—”

“Y/N! Seriously!” Steve says. He laces your hands together. “You’re, like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m not going to let the person I love throw themselves into this mess. I need you to be safe.”

He looks up and is a bit surprised to see goofy grin on your face.

“You said you love me,” you whisper.

Steve blushes.

“Oh, right. I hope that’s okay?”

“You hope it’s okay that you love me?”

“Uh, yeah. And I hope you’ll take me back, but if you feel like you can’t after everything I told you I understand and—”

You grab him by the collar and pull him in for a kiss. He melts into it, wrapping his arms around you.

“I love you too,” you say, once you finally pull away. “And I am taking you back, and I’ll respect your wishes not to get involved in your monster hunting mission, but you have to promise me that you won’t get killed or something, because that would massively suck.”

“You got it,” he says. He checks his watch.

“You heading out?” you ask, a bit disappointed.

Steve shakes his head.

“Nope. I have three hours until I’m meeting the others to discuss our next move.”

“Three hours,” you say, eyes sparkling a bit hungrily. “Huh. There’s so much we could do to fill that time…one activity I can’t get out of my head rhymes with ‘take-up schmex.’”

“Y/N. Your leg is broken.”

“The medical term is actually ‘smushed,’ so I’m cleared for sexual activity.”

“Is that so?” Steve says. “Well, if your doctor says it’s okay…”

In one fluid motion, he scoops you up in his arms. You squeal in surprise as he carries you to your bedroom.

Hawkins had changed overnight. Everything Steve told you makes it seem like a much scarier, darker place.

But you have Steve, and he has you, and you know that no matter what happens next, nothing is going to change that.

***

tagging some people who asked about it and/or expressed interest in this fic! Y'ALL ROCK @crappymixtape @starry-eyed-steve @mrskeery-mclaughlin @sailor-steve

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x gn! reader #steve harrington #stranger things fanfic #stranger things 4 #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington angst #st fic: r&j

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the1975attheirverybest · 2 months

Text

Promises To Keep

A/N: Day 4 of valentines week!

Warnings: none

***

“I- umm,” Jo’s voice quivered. “I’m p-pregnant?”

Matty looked down at the 4 pregnancy tests, all clearly indicating, either in “+” or lines, or big bold letters “PREGNANT.” He grabbed one of the opened boxed, scanning over the fine print. “Mhm. Y-you’re definitely pregnant. It would seem.”

He looked up at her from the bathroom floor, as she sat, wide-eyed on the side of the bathtub, staring down at the mess of tests at her feet. Matty was, of course, overjoyed. This was the best news of his entire life. He’s always wanted to be a father. And the fact that it had happened without them planning it or trying? He’s not one for religion but he was certain that’s what he would call a blessing, if ever such a thing existed. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops. until he could determine Jo’s feelings on the matter, though, he was trying to remain calm. And it was killing him. He wanted to hoist her into his arms and hold her tight. He wanted to kiss her from head to toes. He wants to cry. But he had to stay focused and supportive.

“I- am gonna be a mom? Like- a mother?”

“Mhm.”

“L-life is…g-growing? Inside me? I- have a womb and shit?”

Matty frowned. “Pretty sure you’ve always had a womb- that’s not the point,okay.” He corrected himself. “Well, erm….life doesn’t begin at conception, Jo.”

Her eyes met his for the first time since the tests turned positive. “Right.” She mumbled. “It’s not a baby. It’s just cells.”

Matty’s heart sank. But he couldn’t argue with facts. “Just cells.” He echoed.

Jo’s hand absently moved to rest on her nonexistent bump. Matty’s hand itched to rest atop hers, but he held back. He watched her look into the distance as she pictured her future. 9 months from today. A child changes everything. Her life. Her body. Her career. Not to mention, her relationship. She was under no illusions when it came to parenthood. She’d watched enough of her friends go through the process to know about the sleepless nights, and the breastfeeding problems and the ever-present smell of poopy diapers in the house no matter how much cleaning one does. She was young. Her career had just taken off. She has just started to get a sense of who he is as an adult….and yet….

The notion of having a baby, one that is half her and half Matty, felt bigger, better, more right than anything else that she had planned or foreseen for herself in the future. The idea that the two of them could love each other so much to the point of making a whole third person out of this love was the perfect next step for their relationship.

Tears stung the backs of her eyes; a smile danced on her lips. “Well, we’ve both always said we want to be parents…”

Matty’s eyes lit up at her words. “Yes! We have!” He said, half standing up.

“I mean- nobody’s getting any younger- I make good money-“

“I’m rich, Jo. In case you haven’t-“

“And I work in design I can do that from anywhere-“

“I don’t have to work at all!” Matty yelled out, as if announcing the fact to a room full of people.

“You, do, in fact, have to work. You leave for tour tonight.”

Matty got up to sit beside her on the edge of the bathtub. “Right. If this child decides to ignore school and start a band….they’re going to live in our house for a long time. We’ll need a bigger house.”

Jo giggled at the image that his words had painted.

“Speaking of house….i can’t go tonight. You’re pregnant.”

“Don’t be stupid! You can go. You have to go.”

“And leave my pregnant- not wife.” He chuckled. “Funny, I- always thought: rock band, husband, then kids. Guess not everything happens in the order you want it to happen.”

Jo nodded. “Yeah,” she sighed. “I…always thought I’d feel like an adult by the time that I got pregnant. You know, sort of in the way that moms do?”

“Mhm.”

“Moms always….know everything. Like what to wear to things and what to do if a scab won’t heal, and how to make the perfect roast potatoes.”

“Roast potatoes?” Matty frowned. “You make a good roast, Jo-“

“Yeah but I can never get them quite right. You know, crispy and golden on the outside but tender and fluffy on the inside?”

He nodded along, recognizing what she meant, “sure. Yeah.”

“Our child is gonna grow up eating subpar potatoes, Matty.”

Matty held his head in his hands, letting her words fly by. Their child was going to be subjected to a lifetime of imperfect potatoes. A lifetime. With a child. They’re having a child. He’s gonna be a dad! He’s having Jo’s baby!

“Hey, Jo?” He called out, his voice echoing through the porcelain tub.

“Yes, Matty?”

He picked his head up and looked at her, flashing her a huge, shimmering grin. “We’re having a baby!”

The joy that lit up his eyes was impossible to ignore. Jo’s smile softened. “We’re having a baby….”

***

“I don’t know….should we?”

Jo overheard Matty ask as he paced his home studio with the door only halfway closed.

“I reckon we could postpone at least….”

She peered in. He was on FaceTime with George.

“Maybe we discuss this with….everyone, including Jamie, in the room. That way we’ll have a better idea.” George suggested. “Do they all know already?”

“Ross does. Hann didn’t answer so I left him a vague and cryptic message.” Matty paused the back and forth, finally settling in his desk chair. “Fuck! I’ve got to call mom! And dad!”

Those words were Jo’s last straw. She rushed into the room, snatching the phone out of his hand. “You will do no such thing!” She looked down at George through the screen. “Hey, George.”

“Hey, mate. Congrats on the baby!”

She was surprised by the new rush of excitement that hearing his congratulations had brought her. It was the first outside acknowledge of her motherhood. “Thank you!” She squealed, then, glancing at Matty, recalled the reason she’d barreled in here. “We’re not telling your parents. I can’t fuckin believe you’ve told the boys already!” She sighed. “Sorry, George.”

“No worries. I kinda can’t believe it either, if I’m honest.”

Matty frowned, leaning forward “why not?!”

“You’re meant to wait! Until after the first trimester!”

“Yeah, I know that, but why?”

Jo had began to speak, but George unknowingly cut her off

“Well- it’s usually when the risk of miscarriage is lower stuff…” he said matter-of-factly, recovering a weird look from Matty through the camera. “What? We went over this with Adam and Carly. Don’t you remember? You never pay attention to anything….”

Jo smiled, sitting in Matty’s lap so that they’re both in the FaceTime camera frame. “Sorry to interrupt your call but I think Matty and I need to have a little chat before….whatever this is goes any further.”

George nodded. “Understood. Hey, Matty, listen….in terms of the band stuff…whatever you decide to do is fine, honestly. Just let us know what you need. If you don’t wanna tour, we’ll sort it out.” Matty nodded, and waved goodbye, a silent cue that he was hanging up.

“What’s this I hear about you not wanting to tour?” Joe spoke as soon as she was certain that Matty had put his phone away.

“Jo, you’re pregnant!”

“I’m aware.”

Matty rolled his eyes. “I can’t just- get on a plane and fuck off to another country. New city every other day. No idea when I’ll be home again.”

He watched her face scrunch into a puzzled expression.

“Why not?”

His jaw dropped, shaking his head in disbelief. “Im not gonna miss all the doctors appointments and the- morning sickness and the- everything!

Jo was touched by his determination, not that she ever doubted that he would be anything less than all in. Still; seeing it written all over his face was overwhelming. “Matty-“

“No! He stomped his foot as he spoke. “I’m going to be a dad, now. I’ve got to- to rearrange my priorities. I’m not going to just leave you. No way. Alright?”

“Honey, don’t you think it’s a bit too early to be make decisions like this?” Her eyes looked into his, so Matty didn’t notice when she reached for his hand, he flinched, initially, relaxing to her touch slowly.

He took a deep breath, attempting to slow down his racing heart. “I- I would just- like to know what my options are. If…canceling tour is possible, or if, pushing it back a few weeks might be an alternative. I think….the sooner that I have all the information, the better for baby.”

“For- b-baby?” Jo’s lips involuntarily curled into a smile as she repeated his words.

“Mhm. Baby. As in….our child. Sophia if it’s a girl. Aiden if it’s a boy.”

Jo chuckled, heartily. “Sophia? Aiden? What the fuck, Matty?! We’ve only known about… ‘baby’ for like a few hours. You’ve already named it?”

“Jo, I’ve been naming our children since our first date.”

She rolled her eyes. “That kind of talk doesn’t work on me. I know all of your tricks.”

“And I still knocked you up! Ha! I win!”

Jo ran her hand through his hair. “Seriously, though, Matty. We are not naming our child ‘Aiden.’”

He looked at her with big sad eyes, “No Aiden? You don’t like it?”

“I hate it.”

Matty ducked his head, pressing his forehead to hers. “Fine. His name isn’t Aiden. No weird, artsy French names, though, okay?”

“Really?” She pouted, “but I’ve always dreamed of naming my baby boy Jacques.”

“No, you haven’t” Matty saw through her lie instantly.

She laughed, silently, her body shaking with his arms wrapped around her.

“See, Jo? I know all of your tricks, too.”

***

Jo’s arm felt around in the dark attempting to wrap her arms around her sleeping boyfriend. Instead, she was met with the cold bedding where Matty normally slept.

Half asleep, she turned the bedside light on and saw that matty wasn’t in bed.

Instead, she found him downstairs, in the middle of the hallway, standing on top of a ladder, with a screwdriver in his hand.

“Jesus fuckin Christ, Matty, it’s 2 in the morning!” Her eyes squinted, adjusting to the light.

“Oh” he spared her a quick glance, “hey, Jo.”

“‘Hey, Jo’ ? Really? Matty what on earth are you doing up there!”

“Smoke detectors.” He mumbled “first step of baby-proofing is smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.”

Jo exhaled, it was too late into the night for this conversation and she was tired. “And you’re…doing what exactly?”

“Checking to see if we have that.”

“Matty, this house is worth millions of dollars, I’m sure it’s got the right kind of smoke detectors.”

Matty shrugged, screwing the tip of the screwdriver into the nail. “I don’t know that for certain. I never thought about a child living here when I signed the stuff that got installed in here. I’m sure I thought ‘I’m never in here long enough to be poisoned by carbon monoxide anyway.’ So….”

“My love? Listen-“

“Think I’m gonna have to cancel tour.” He announced. “Postponing my flight isn’t enough. There’s no way I’m going to be finished baby-proofing before rehearasals week is over.”

Jo grabbed a hold of Matty’s leg, tugging on his joggers. “Matty- that’s it - that’s enough. Get down here. You’ve gone over to the crazy side. I need you to step down from there and come talk to me. Please.”

***

Jo brought over two mugs of chamomile tea, handling one to Matty before taking a seat next to him. “Drink it. It’ll help.”

“Thanks, darlin.” He kissed her.

She watched him blow on his drink for a moment, and take his first sip. “Matty, what’s going on with you? Why aren’t we both in bed right now?”

He looked down at his reflection in the tea, avoiding her eyes. “Just couldn’t sleep. So I figured I’d get started on some things. It’s a big deal, Jo.”

“Matty, you don’t have to do it all overnight, you get that, right? The baby isn’t even a baby right now. It’s a tiny cluster of cells! It takes 9 months for it to grow.”

“And I’d be gone for 9 months!” Matty raised his voice for the first time since Jo has met him. “Tour is 18 months at a time. So that’s enough time for a while fuckin human being to be made, and to almost turn a year old! If I can’t leave you knowing that you’re safe and prepared, then im not fuckin leaving! It’s not that hard to understand.”

She set her beverage down, placing her hands on his shoulders instead.

“You know I called some accountants today?”

“Oh?”

“To see about….a will.”

“Jesus fuckin- that’s morbid, Matty!”

“What? I’m just….being practical. If anything should happen to me. I- I want my kid — and you— to be all sorted….anyway, they- they said things would be a lot easier if we had a marriage certificate or whatever.”

Jo withdrew her hands, frowning. “I swear to god, Matthew, if this is your way or fuckin proposing-“

Matty giggled. “No, no! Cmon! I’m insane but I’m not THAT insane. I wouldn’t just…do it like that. I’m just saying….i do wish that our child could’ve been born into a marriage. You know?”

“Why does it matter?”

“It- doesn’t. Not really. Just- would feel more certain.”

She smiled, finally understanding. “I forget that you’re actually a tightly wound ball of anxiety sometimes.”

Matty chuckled.

“Very well, then. Let’s do it.”

“Do what?” He turned around to look at her.

“Get married. Right now. Let’s do it.”

“Right now? Jo- it’s the middle of the night, darling.”

“I know.” She rolled her eyes. “But we can still do it. Between us! The paperwork and the marriage liscence and all that is just legal bureaucracy. You’re rich. Your parents are rich. Baby will be fine with that stuff. So, that stuff aside….what is marriage if not a set of promises that we promise to keep together?”

Matty’s lips parted, but he had nothing to say. He remained speechless, eyes glued to her face.

“So, let’s make each other promises right now. You and me….and the baby. Let’s get married.”

“R-really?”

Jo giggled. “Yeah, if…if saying a promise will make it feel more certain, more forever….if it’ll get you to shut up and go to bed, then why not?”

Matty smiled, wide. “Okay, let’s fuckin do it! Baby and wedding in one day. I’m really doing it all, huh?”

***

She held his hands in hers, their fingers intertwined. “Who’s gonna go first?” She asked.

“Oh! I’ve got one!” Matty said, “I- promise….to learn how to check smoke detectors cuz….if I’m being honest I…had no idea what I was doing up there. I was just gonna crack it open and see if there was a YouTube tutorial that would explain it to me.”

Jo laughed, dramatically. Her head landing in Matty’ lap for a moment.

“Okay….umm…I promise to love you, even when you’re doing insane shit like looking up tutorials of essential safety measures at 3 in the morning.”

Matty brought her hand to his lips, kissing it. “I promise to talk to you first. Before I go off cracking open smoke detectors. I know- I know I tend to- go a bit insane without really saying anything. But we can’t have that. I’ll- be better about it. Promise.”

“I promise to give you grace and be more patient when you inevitably lose it again and start acting like a lunatic. I know you do it out of love. And it’s cute. So, I should just…go easier on you”

“It’s cute, you say?” Matty wriggled his eyebrows.

“Oh, stop that. You’ve already got me pregnant. You know I think you’re cute.”

Matty was surprised to feel himself blush. He laughed, softly, his head thrown back. Then, he straightened his back, looking serious all of the sudden. “I promise to teach our child how to love you right by setting an example for them every single day.”

“I promise to love you second most. Right after our child, of course.”

“I….find that a fair arrangement. May I kiss the bride now?”

Jo beamed at him. “Fuck yeah, you may.”

“I love you, Josephine.”

“I love you, too, Matthew.”

#valentine75 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy imagine #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x oc

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and-claudia · 10 months

Text

Against All Odds pt.4 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

Time skip

WARNINGS: ANGST!!!!!! Mentions of abortions, arguing

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

Wordcount: 4200+ (I am so sorry it's so long)

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

It’s crazy how three years of being happy and in love can come shattering to the ground with a two-word sentence.

“I’m pregnant.” The words seemed to be echoing in the small living room of my and Joel’s apartment.

He stood there. His expression was unreadable. I was debating on if I should repeat myself or just wait it out. I chose the latter. It felt like time had slowed as I stared back at him waiting anxiously. At this point, I would be happy if he would even just yell at me to get out. Anything seemed better than this deafening silence I was being forced to endure.

A heavy sigh.

Okay, good. We’re getting somewhere.

Then he turned and began pacing, running his fingers up through his hair, then wiping his hands down his face as he tried to process what I had said. I stayed quiet.

“How? How did this even happen? We’re always so careful.” He said.

“I mean not every time. Ther-”

“No. I’ve been careful. I know damn well I have been. Maybe you haven’t.” He cut me off with his suggestion.

“I know you’re not implying that I’ve cheated on you, Joel.” I said, clearly hurt, “There have been plenty of times where we weren’t. I mean hell if I had to guess this probably happened on my birthday. We definitely were not careful then. So don’t you dare try to accuse me of cheating.”

I felt a wave of relief when he stepped forward and pulled me to him. I hadn’t realized that tears had begun falling from my eyes until I could see them staining his shirt.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry, ‘m just shocked. It’s okay. Don’t worry, we’ll get it taken care of.”

His words made me pull back but not completely out of his arms, “What do you mean?”

“We can get you an abortion pill, I know they still have those. We’ll get one and take care of this.” He explained.

“No…” I shook my head, “I don’t want to do that Joel… I mean I know this wasn’t planned but I’m honestly kinda excited about having our own little family.” I admitted.

“Sweetheart… I just, I can’t do this again. It’s been so long since I’ve been around small kids, let alone a baby. Shit, it’s been 30 years since I’ve held a baby probably, longer than you’ve been alive.”

That made me step away from him. At first, I thought he meant he couldn’t do this again because of what happened to his daughter. I wouldn’t blame him for that at all. He hadn’t talked about her again in the three years we’d been together, not unless he was waking up from a nightmare.

“So you don’t want this baby because you don’t want to have to start over again?” I asked, disgusted for even thinking that was going to be his reasoning.

“I mean it’s just been so long since I’ve done this.”

“Okay, so? I’ve never done this, hell, Joel, I’ve never even actually held a baby! I am 25 years old and I’ve never held a baby let alone raised one! I was also the youngest in my family so I know literally nothing about raising a kid. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want this baby any less.”

He reverted to silence once again. I couldn’t take it. I needed to get out of here.

“You know what? It’s Wednesday, I was supposed to go to the market earlier… I am going to go now. Do whatever the fuck you want to here. Pack your shit, hell pack my shit, kick me out. I don’t care.” I said, walking over to the kitchen counter to grab my bag and the money we set aside for food at the market.

“Take your gun.” He called to me.

“I am.” I snapped as I grabbed it and tucked it into the top of my jeans before letting my shirt cover it.

When I got to the market there weren’t that many people there thank goodness. I went over to the vendor that always has potatoes and was surprised to see that he still had most of his produce there considering it was pretty late in the day.

“Not selling this week?” I asked as I walked up.

“Nope. Not at this price.” He said, clearly not happy.

“I’m sorry. Give it a week though, they will be coming back next week when they realize how much they need them.” I tried to reassure him.

“Let’s hope. Here is your bag.” He said, reaching down to grab the bag he stashed for Joel and me.

We’ve helped him out with various things and this was how he paid us for it. I finished getting a few other things but took my time heading back to the apartment. When I got there, Joel was passed out on the couch. When I went to set my stuff down on the table I wasn’t too surprised to find the decanter of homemade moonshine half empty again, nor was it a shocker that there was a baggie with a couple of pills left in it. I just sighed and grabbed them both to put them away. When I came and saw what else was left out I was a little confused. Joel had gotten the maps out of their hiding place in the floor. I decided it wasn’t worth my time asking about now, not that I’d be able to wake him up anyways. Ever since his brother went radio silence on him he’s been a wreck. Instead, I put away the food I had gotten at the market and decided to just go to bed.

The next morning when I woke up I heard two voices and I didn’t even have to guess who it was. I knew it was Tess. I quietly made my way over to the closed door, careful not to make my presence known just yet, and listened.

“Trucks no good without the battery. And if I don’t get to Tommy soon, he’ll die out there.” I heard Joel say.

What? Joel hadn’t mentioned anything about going to find Tommy. I continued to listen. From what I gathered this had been in the works for at least a little bit. They had a battery lined up for them but got screwed over.

“We’ll get our money back and get the battery.” I heard Tess say to him.

I finally opened the door making them turn their attention to the sound. They both froze when they saw me.

“You’re leaving, together?” I asked.

“Shit.” He mumbled.

I turned around and slammed the door. I was beyond hurt. He wasn’t even going to tell me. I needed to clear my head, so I quickly got dressed then went over to the window before climbing out onto the fire escape.

I wasn’t sure how long it had been but I continued to sit out there cross-legged. No tears fell, I didn’t have the energy for that, I just simply sat there thinking. Eventually, I heard the window slide open behind me but made no attempt to look at him.

"Yn, come inside. You know it's not safe on that thing." He said gently.

"Oh. So suddenly he cares." I said bitterly, “Thought you would have already left by now.”

"Yn, I've always cared about you, always will." He said.

"Bullshit."

He sighed. I could hear him getting up and sitting back down on the windowsill. He didn't say a word after that. We stayed in silence for a few minutes before I spoke up again.

"I thought my age didn't mean anything to you. I thought it never mattered that I was only 25." I said.

"It doesn't." He said.

"You're such a fucking liar, Joel... you told me that you couldn't do this again. That it had been over 30 years since you held a baby since you've raised a newborn. 30 years, longer than I've even been alive. Clearly, subconsciously my age has been an issue for you." I said finally turning to see him hanging his head down.

He didn't speak up again.

“We’re you going to tell me?” I asked referring to his plan to go find Tommy.

“I was.”

“When?”

“Last night, but then you blindsided me with-”

“I did not blindside you. I wasn’t expecting this either… so does this mean we’re done?”

“I don’t know, like I said I can’t do this again. I think we just need to sit down and have a serious conversation about it all. Maybe this trip will give us both the time to think everything through and we can talk about it when I get back.” He suggested.

“When you get back?... I’m goin' with y’all.”

“Yn, no, you can’t.”

“Why?”

“You’re pregnant, you don’t need to be traveling all the way to Wyoming.” He tried to sound reasonable.

“What do you care? You don’t even want the baby. Now move, I need to pack.” I said, standing up.

He knew it was no use arguing with me once I made my mind up it was made and I was going to stick to it. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t pissed that I was going.

I grabbed my bag and threw in what I would need before tossing my gun in on top. Joel had already left the room and was getting the rest of the supplies together out in the living room. Lucky for Tess, we usually left the QZ from mine and Joel's apartment so she had stashes of supplies with ours so she was able to pack hers as well. Once we were packed we devised a plan. Well, they did. I didn’t know the details and Joel was being petty not telling me them and Tess was following along. All I knew was that we’d go into the old subway tunnels to come up through the bottom of the building where their guy that had their money and truck battery should be.

“Alright, come on, kid.” Tess said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“I’m not a fucking kid.” I snapped.

“Damn, someone is not happy today.” She said, walking out the door.

I grabbed Joel by the sleeve of his denim shirt to get him to hang back for a second.

“Have you told her yet?”

“No.”

“Good. Don’t.” I said.

“Hate to break it to you but she’ll find out eventually. Can’t hide it forever, sweetheart.” He shot back.

“I know. And when I am ready to tell her about my baby, I will.” I said before letting go of his arm and following Tess out.

The walk to the access point of the abandoned subway tunnels was quiet. When we finally made it to the building, the doors had been re-chained and locked once again. That had never deterred us before, it definitely wouldn’t do it today. Joel cut the chain and we were in. We took a second to get our guns and flashlights out. I had never liked going through the tunnels before, they were dark and damp and smelt like mildew. I wasn’t entirely sure if the smell had actually gotten worse since I had been down there or if maybe it was because I was pregnant but it was almost making me gag.

And the deeper we got, the worse it smelt. I was half tempted to just turn back around. But I had a point to prove, I wouldn’t give Joel the satisfaction of leaving me here. When I heard Tess say she found the way out I was relieved. Once we got through the door I stopped in the small entry area as Tess went on ahead.

“Joel, can you grab my water for me, I feel like I am going to puke?” I asked, trying to keep myself from puking, the air in here wasn’t nearly as bad.

“I told you, you shouldn’t go with us.” He said but still stepped over to grab the canteen from my bag.

Before he got a chance to grab it though we heard Tess yell. That caused both of us to spring into action and follow where she had gone, guns ready. When we made it around the corner we saw no immediate threats, but as my eyes scanned I saw why she had yelled.

Fused to the wall was, what used to be, a person. Their body was completely taken over by the fungus.

“It’s dead.”

“No shit, Joel.” I said back.

“I know, I just wasn’t really expecting it.”

“Was he not here last time?” I asked and she shook her head.

“You think he came down here after he was infected?” Tess asked.

Joel was quick to respond with, “Maybe down here is where he was infected.”

“I’m sure we’re fine…” I said trying not to dwell on that idea too much.

“Yeah, let's just keep moving.” Tess said, turning and leading the way once again.

We finally made it to a sketchy-looking ladder. Tess went first, then me, and lastly Joel. As we climbed Joel made a comment about the construction of the building itself, something about it getting updated in the 80s or something. Despite the fact I didn’t always know what he was talking about when it came to construction, I always loved hearing and learning about his old interests. Tess cracked a joke teasing him about his construction-nerd comment, which made me smile slightly. We climbed a little bit higher before Tess got off the ladder.

It was a small landing with only a single door.

“This should lead into the hallway.” She said as she went to push it.

“Is it stuck? Or is something blocking it?” I asked after it didn’t budge.

“What the fuck?” She asked, shoving it again.

Then the smell hit me.

“Okay, I know y’all have got to be able to smell that.” I said.

“Yeah, it’s gunpowder.” Joel confirmed

We all scanned the area around us for its source. Then Tess found it, seeping up from under the door was a stream and pool of blood. She shoved the door a little harder and was able to move the body that was slumped in front of it.

When we made it through I was shocked. There were probably at least half a dozen dead people. Beside one of the men was the truck battery. I didn’t know much about cars, but I did know one that corroded wouldn’t have worked.

As if to confirm my thought Tess spoke up from where she was squatting down beside it, “Well, the battery’s no good.”

“Do you think he knew?” I asked.

“Oh yeah. He knew, and he still tried selling it, twice. Greedy motherfucker.” Tess said as she stood.

Just as she finished speaking we heard something further up the hall. Joel wasted no time, bringing his gun up and going in pursuit of the sound. I was right behind him, my own gun raised as well.

“Stay back I got this.” He said quietly over his shoulder.

“What if there is more than one?”

He gave no answer and just continued down the hall. We rounded a corner and there was someone trying to help another person up off the ground. Before we got close enough to them the door to our right swung open. I stepped back in time, but Joel didn’t react quickly enough. Someone lept out of the now open door, knife in hand. Joel threw them to the ground quickly and pointed his gun at them. It was then that I realized it was a kid, couldn’t be older than 15.

“Joel?” The lady down the hall called out.

I turned my attention back to her and brought my gun up to aim it at her just as a precaution.

“Marleen?” Joel asked back.

They know each other?

The lady, now known to me as Marleen, checked on the girl who said she was fine. But then she went to grab the knife she had lost after getting thrown to the ground by Joel, but he quickly stepped on it blocking her from being able to.

Marleen then called the girl’s name, Ellie, to get her attention. That’s when she noticed that Marleen was hurt. She had just finished reassuring her when Tess joined us.

“So this is who Robert screwed us over with?”

The two of them continued a small banter as my attention went back to the girl. I saw her reach for the knife again. Joel quickly turned to point his gun at her.

“Don’t.” He warned, causing Marleen and the person she was helping to bring their own guns up to point them at him.

“Not at her!” Marleen said firmly, as Tess and I both aimed our guns back at her and the person with her, “Point it at me.”

I stole a glance at Ellie, her hands were raised and she looked terrified. Joel slowly took his aim off her and brought it back to Marleen.

“No offense,” She began, “Our reason for needing that battery is much bigger than yours. Tommy is just one man…” She paused to gauge Joel’s reaction, “It’s our job to know things.”

“To know things.” Joel repeated, “You’re the same cause that caused my brother to turn against me.”

“Okay, Joel.” Marleen said as if they have had this conversation before.

Marleen’s friend finally spoke up, “That was a lot of gunfire.”

“That means FEDRA will be here soon.” I added, knowing we needed to get the hell out of here.

“I know.” Marleen said quietly as if she were deep in thought about something. She sighed before speaking up again.

“We were going to move Ellie out of the QZ tonight. But now we won’t make it anywhere, not for a while at least… So, now I’m thinking, you’re gonna do it.” She said.

“What?”

“Like hell we are.”

“I’m not goin’ with them!”

Me, Joel, and Ellie all spoke at the same time.

I turned to look at Tess as Joel did the same, “Tess we don’t have time this.” He said.

“Who is she?” Tess asked, ignoring Joel.

“For you, consider her cargo.”

“We don’t smuggle people.” Joel said to Marleen.

“There is a team of Fireflies waiting for her at the old State House. I know what’s out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that very reason. Now I don’t have that, and I don’t have a truck with FEDRA closing in. All have now is you. And I know what you are capable of… For better or worse.” Marleen said.

I glanced down at Ellie as she spoke up, “What are they capable of?”

“You don’t want to know.” I said quietly to her, shaking my head slightly.

“You get her there safely,” Marleen continued, “and they’ll give you what you need. Not just a battery, but the whole thing. Anything you need. I swear.”

Joel stayed silent as he looked back at Tess and me. I glanced between the two of them waiting for one of them to make a decision about what we were doing. Tess finally nodded for Joel and me to step away with her so we could discuss.

“I don’t think I trust her.” I said once we stopped.

“Neither do we, but she seems desperate.” Tess said.

“A Firefly vehicle usually means stuff repurposed from FEDRA which would give us a better-than-decent chance makin’ it to Tommy. The second we hand that kid over-” Joel got cut off.

“Y’all can talk it through but keep in mind I am bleeding out still.” Marleen called out to us.

We waited a moment before Tess turned back to them.

“Okay so here’s the deal. We’ll get her to the State House. But we will not hand her over until we have been given everything we want. If not, we kill her, there and then.”

I wanted to protest that plan but before I could, Marleen said it was a deal.

“Really? That fast?” Ellie asked.

“I was thinking the same thing.” I mumbled to myself.

“You are all that matters. Go grab your bag.”

It took her a second but she got up and went back into the room to get it. When she got back I let her go ahead of me, following Tess with Joel at the rear of our small group. We walked through the rain back to the apartment. When we got there Joel handed Tess the key to unlock it. She did and held it open for Ellie, I followed behind her. Then Tess was closing the door.

“Keep an eye on the kid, Joel and I need a second.” She said.

“Seriously? I can help plan!” I yelled through the door.

I could hear them discussing which route we take and Bill and Franks. With a sigh, I turned to Ellie.

“You can go set your bag down.” I said, nodding her over to the living room.

I waited by the door for Joel to come back inside. He eventually did and went straight to the couch.

“What’s the plan?” I asked.

“Kill time until it’s dark, then leave.” He said matter of factly.

“Kill time? What are we supposed to do?”

“Figure it out.” He snapped before closing his eyes.

“Just don’t talk to him right now, Ellie. He’s in a bad mood.” I said.

“Clearly.” She said making me laugh a little.

“You like card games?” I asked, grabbing our deck off the shelf.

“Yeah.” She smiled, walking over to the table where I had already sat down.

We played for a bit before I told her I was going to take a short nap before it got dark and advised her to do the same. I went to mine and Joel’s room to lie down on the bed there.

I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep for, but I was being woken up by Tess.

“You comin’ or what? Get a jacket, kid. Come on.” She said.

I quickly got up and went to grab my jacket but hesitated. I wasn’t sure how long we’d be out there. Hopefully not long but if something goes wrong and we’re away longer than we expect, I didn’t want my jacket not to fit when I start showing so instead, I grabbed one of Joel’s older ones and threw that on. When I walked out wearing it Joel gave me a weird look.

“That mine?”

“I couldn’t find mine, let’s just go.” I lied.

“You’re still coming with us?” He asked.

“Oh my gosh, yes, Joel. I am going. Deal with it.”

And with that, I left the apartment.

We made it out and passed the patrols. Then we made it outside of the walls, but we weren’t in the clear yet. They had patrols on the wall. Tess was leading our group, then Ellie behind her, then me, then Joel. We had just about made it when we failed, trying to sneak past a footguard taking a piss. I felt a wave of panic but then when he realized who we were and didn’t just shoot us I felt a little better.

“Get on your knees!” He kept yelling at us.

“Just do it.” Tess said, getting down.

I followed her lead, no need in making this difficult. Joel and Ellie followed as well.

“Look, you let us do this run we will split the cards with you.” Tess tried to bargain but it wasn’t working. He had us facing away from him and was about to test all of us for infection. I still hated getting this done. Tess went first as she continued to try and sweeten the deal with him. When he got behind me, Joel reached over to grab my hand to give me some comfort, knowing I hated this, but I pulled it away quickly just as the device pricked me. Then he went on to Joel, who also tried to negotiate a better deal for us to be let go, he wasn’t biting. He got to Ellie, but to everyone’s surprise, she whipped around and stabbed the guard in the leg. As Ellie stood I was quick to get to my feet to stand in front of her as the guard aimed his rifle at her.

“Get out of my fucking way!” The guard yelled.

“No.” I said firmly.

By this point Joel had gotten up and was now in front of me, “We can fix this!”

“Move.”

It all happened so fast. One moment Joel was in front of me blocking me from the rifle, next he had tackled the guard to the ground and was beating the shit out of him. There was nothing I could do besides watch.

“Hey, guys!” Tess yelled getting mine and Joel's attention.

She held up the device the guard was using to test us for infection. It was lit up red. Ellie tried to argue that she wasn’t sick. I tuned out her and Tess arguing and just looked at Joel waiting for him to react. The sound of sirens broke me from my trance.

“We need to get the fuck out of here. Now!”

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#hbo the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us #joel miller tlou #tlou #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller the last of us #joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel tlou #joel miller x reader fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x pregnant reader #joel miller

186 notes · View notes

rainiishowers · 4 months

Text

Obey Me Incorrect Quotes

A/N: Haha sleep deprivation go brrrrr

———

MC: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Simeon and not do the thing,

MC: Well there’s a clear right answer here.

MC: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

——

Barbatos’, at Solomon’s “funeral”: I need a moment with them.

Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*

Barbatos, leaning over Solomon’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Solomon, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.

——

Asmodeus: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

——

Satan: ARE YOU-

MC: Fucking.

Satan: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

MC: Fucking.

Satan: IDIOT!

Beelzebub: …What was that?

MC: Lucifer banned Satan from swearing, so I’m helping him out.

——

Simeon: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.

Satan: I would say infinitesimally.

Mammon: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words

——

Leviathan: I lost my fish.. :(

Beelzebub, cooking the fish: …Uhm…

——

Solomon: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Luke: Are you okay???

Solomon: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce. Pay attention.

Simeon: No, they mean other than that.

Solomon: Ohhhhhh.

Solomon: I haven't slept in 4 days.

——

Belphegor: Why were you up yesterday until 3am?

Mammon: How did you know I was up until 3am?

Lucifer: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

——

Mammon: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, MC!

*Neither of them die*

MC: …

Mammon: …

MC: So do you wanna talk about somethi-

Mammon: No thank you.

——

MC: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Simeon finally snaps and commits murder?

Solomon: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to them.

——

MC: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

Mephisto: We’re not friends.

MC, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

——

Asmodeus: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Satan: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them

——

Beelzebub: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Beel*

Beelzebub: …I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

——

Asmodeus: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Satan: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

——

Luke: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Lucifer doesn't take me seriously enough.

Mammon: "Sometimes"?

Solomon: "Enough"?

Luke: …

——

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo? What are you doing here?

Diavolo, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.

——

Mammn: *is throwing stones at MC’s window*

MC: You have a phone for a reason, Mammon!

*THUD*

MC: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

——

Solomon: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way?

Asmodeus: Wait, what’s the difference?

Solomon: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

——

Solomon: Wow, they really hate us.

Asmodeus: Yea, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Solomon: But we’re not gay, Asmo.

Asmodeus: We’re not?

#obey me incorrect quotes #obey me: one master to rule them all #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers #obey me side characters #obey me mc #obey me crack #sleep deprived af

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shygirl4991 · 4 months

Text

SMG3 Sussy Notebook

ima tag smg3 sussy notebook spoilers and have the pics of the notebook under read more so you can pick if ya wanna see the notebook! These are highlights and not every page!

now that we have the pw for club penguin we can all log in and get all the cool skins, honestly i feel if mario just guess the password it wouldnt take him long to get it xD be faster then stealing the notebook and all

ah yes the start of the worlds longest slowburn its a super funny thought that right out the usb he gets his notebook and goes this bitch here ima make him my life rival

oh shit shout out to these two that showed up in SMG3 Gauntlet of gloom

suuuure buddy keep telling yourself that, seems even tho SMG3 marked him as his rival and hated him over what happen in college he still wanted to hang out with 4 and be friends but its not like he cares or anything...baka!

lmao the censor on what happen in the igloo ah yes nothing but hugging happen there nothing to M rated xD im guessing the real book in universe might have it a bit more detail given the big deal it was for wotfi 2023

we really dont talk about that hug

did...did i call it in my fic that this man legit is crazy about beans and hot sauce im dying i guess when your the bad guy with low budget for food you get use to the good classic beans and hot sauce

oh honey thats not how that works xD this man is smart but also oh so dumb i think he gets that from his avatar that and he is a few years fresh from the usb Update: @alianarepasa let me know its from a mad max episode i manage to miss it was a fun watch and now i understand what this means xD these peeps really went wild without internet poor toad

pifft im guessing he has masters degree specialized in psychology? other wise idk how he is a psychologist and he seems to be a good one from what we have seen but who knows he could be bullshitting his way through how evil xD

both our boys are ready to ride forklifts into the sunset someone draw this please xD

im laughing i guess SMG3 isnt much a fan of boopkins but seems he really enjoys being with the crew he wont say it but im sure he is a happy bean to finally be with the cool kids after years of being jealous.

he says but give this man eggdog or eggdog memes and he becomes Tari in a second

hey lads we found the page from SMG4 We Dont Talk About What Happened in the Elevator

he wants a castle but ended up with a sick lair in a coffee shop i think thats better!

okay putting my shipping heart away this is so interesting to me like he starts off thinking 4 is a loser and makes him his rival then gets jealous he has these friends and he isnt apart of them. We know SMG3 is lonely and lost as he doesn't know his purpose before becoming lord of the graveyard now being apart of the crew and now knowing who is he, SMG3 is much happier and closer to the crew. But the way he writes this feels like he likes the close contact with 4 and while he doesnt want to admit it could it be he legit does have romantic feelings? idk i feel these past episodes and this part really gets me thinking they have something here to really make smg34 canon naturally and not have the way they act with each other be to different might go more into this later.

this sparks joy thank you for including this and thats it for my ted talk thanks for reading again this is just my highlights i dont want to post the whole notebook here just stuff that gets my mind going!

#smg3 sussy notebook #smg3 sussy notebook spoilers #shay talks about the notebook #smg3 #smg4

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shortpplfedup · 7 months

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Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 7

Listen, I didn't know how badly I wanted Mew/Ray until there was a legit chance of Mew/Ray and now IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. Another killer episode as all the shit gets laid bare, Nick and Sand cement their bond over being pathetic simps for men who do not love them, Top sits in the loser feeling and DOES NOT LIKE IT and...OH YEAH MEW AND RAY ARE DATING NOW I GUESS. Last week Top ran away with the audience poll as I learned the valuable lesson that y'all actually pay attention to the poll question and I should probably think about it a bit more...lol. Here's my rankings for this week

🔹1. Ray (1)

It’s never too late, Mew. I love you no matter what. It’s all up to you whether you want to open your heart to me.

I almost gave it to Mew because FUCKING EPIC but Ray actually got everything he ever wanted by the end of this episode: Mew has decided to give him a chance, even if it's as a rebound. And y'all, I am INTO IT. They're never gonna have sex, obvi, because Mew high key isn't interested and Ray is #1 simp so dumb obsessed he'll never push it, but I'm still enjoying the flavour. Besides, when Ray gets horny or needs actual affection, he'll just call Sand anyway...OOP. So yeah, Ray wins the week.

🔺2. Mew (3)

I stopped being a good guy. I got no shit from that. To deal with nasty people, I must be as nasty as them.

Wasn't it fascinating that when it was time to break bad Mew a) looked to Ray for style inspo, b) decided to let Ray sniff it one time and c) is leaning into the Ray Life? I wanna dissect Mew like a lab specimen. He's like 'I'm gonna be shitty too' and then just...becomes Ray. Then he Boston-style mansplains manipulates manwhores his way into possessing Boston's sex tape. And THEN in what has to be a 100% Mew move (because neither Ray nor Boston would EVER) threatens to out Boston to his dad, but then Uno reverses it like OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU. And he looked like he REALLY fucking enjoyed that vantage point from the moral high ground. He really looks down on those friends of his huh. And his destiny for always having to 'win' his friendships and relationships is being betrayed and cheated on...don't @ me it's canon. I WANT TO STUDY MEW SO BAD, because from one angle he looks righteous and from another he looks like the living fucking worst. Amy Elliot-Dunne, here's looking at you kid.

🔺3. Boston (6)

Okay. I’m here to get yelled at. Yell at me all you want. Get it over with. Come on. I don’t expect it to be over. I just want you to vent. Fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was unintentional. It was so nice of me to introduce Mew to something new. I just borrowed him for a bit. What’s a big deal? Let’s be honest here. Without my help, there was no way Mew got his hands on a top-tier like that.

Boston sashaying into the hostel totally unrepentant is a top 5 Only Friends MOMENT and I LIVED for it. He decided the 'brazen' part of 'brazen slut' was the part to lean into and honestly, as one of the few people this ep actually owning their shit I respected the hell out of that. YEAH I FUCKED HIM, I FUCKED HIM BEFORE YOU DID, AND I FUCKED HIM AGAIN AND SO WHAT? In Boston's mind, everybody wins here: Ray wins, because Mew is single again, Mew wins because he knows Top's an untrustworthy cheater, and he wins because he wanted to fuck Top and he fucked Top. Everybody wins, let's just move on. I love the simplicity of Boston's worldview, and how internally consistent and oddly pure it is. He has the morals of an alley cat, but he never LIES. He'll manipulate, but he never actually deceives. In some ways you can trust him absolutely, he's unwavering. Fascinating.

🔹4. Nick (4)

I love him. He doesn’t have to care about me. I don’t have to be his number one. But he must not hate me. Do you get it?

Man, Nick and Sand were almost tied because equally pathetic this week, but at least Nick got a teensy bit of a kick in by telling Mew about the sex tape. Also interesting how he didn't rat Sand out to Boston despite Sand clearly not thinking or really caring about how sharing the audio clip would blow back on Nick. Nick's a creep, but he has a little bit of a code. Do I feel sorry for him, no I don't, but maybe a teeny tiny bit.

🔻5. Sand (2)

I’m your emergency staff anyway. I’ve always been since the first day we met.

I cannot believe that in episode 7 of Only Friends we got a scene where Sand and Nick hug each other and cry together over how pathetically they simp for shitty men who will never love them. WHOMST is doing it like Jojo n'em, I ask you? THAT MAN CALLED YOU A WHORE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE and then did it again while flinging you to the ground and in return you rescued him from a car crash, fed, bathed and shaved him. Sand has a degradation kink, that's the only thing that makes sense here I swear, because how can one human be down THIS atrocious? I wanna see how low he can go, and I also wanna see if we're getting that baseball bat and WHOM FOR. All the things I wished for Nick before the show aired, I now wish for Sand. Boil that bunny baby.

🔺6. Top (7)

I will make you fall in love with me again.

Top really stunned that he's lost. Look, I know my read on Top isn't the consensus read on Top, and yeah maybe I'm wrong, but to me this is only incidentally about Mew, because for Top Mew is a means of self-actualization. Getting Mew to be his boyfriend was awesome, because it means TOP is awesome. Losing Mew over a rookie fucking mistake is a tragedy because it means Top is a loser. Getting Mew back would reaffirm Top's awesomeness to himself. TOP LOVES THE IDEA OF MEW, NOT MEW. I wish I could show you guys the parade of Tops that my peeps and I have met in life so you could understand why I cannot stand this man and want to see him in ruins. But yeah, he's on the rise, because Mew is totally gonna take him back after his disaster run with Ray.

🔺7. Gap (8)

That look you gave. Was it intended to lure me to come after you?

Drake is back yet again, my favourite guest star. They totally cheated by not letting Gap and Mew actually touch lips, although that's probably character accurate. But Mew gets somebody else to look down on and feel morally superior to, and that's his version of an orgasm so Gap totally got SPIRITUALLY laid.

🔻8. Cheum (5)

I was rooting for Top. I thought he was a good guy.

At least she's keeping the group project afloat so they don't fail this damn class, but literally NOBODY ELSE thought Top was a good guy, NOT EVEN MEW. Jesus fix it girl.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

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dominimoonbeam · 3 months

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The Adventures of Stardust and Cosmic. Script 4. Part 10 - 12

I was just working on this story and the update came out! Jouska really brings this script to life! Latest part. and the series!

Scripts below if you want to read them too. <3

The Adventures of Stardust and Cosmic. Script Part 4 (chapters 10-12)

By Domini Moonbeam

10.

[Cosmic waking up on the ship]

[disoriented] St-Stardust?

Are you okay?

[groans] How did you get me back on the ship?

Wait…How did we take off? I thought I locked you out of the controls.

Since when?

You sneaky shit… [sitting up, pained sounds]

Did you…patch me up? That’s not bad work.

No, I’m not thanking you, I’m just saying it’s not a bad patch job. Did they teach you how to close a bullet wound at the same school where you learned to hack ship controls?

…I can’t tell if you’re joking.

Whatever. [getting up] I’m still covered in paint… I’m gonna go clean up.

No, I’m not saying you should have given me a sponge bath. I’m just saying I’m going… [door whoosh, walking down the hall]

[Stardust following. Cosmic groans]

Yes, I’m still mad at you.

Yes, because of that! I can’t believe you put yourself between me and a gun. You could have died. Nothing is worth… [stops, groans] I don’t think this partnership is working.

[snaps] I said it’s not working, Stardust.

Yeah, we get along great, that’s the problem. You’re going to get me killed or I’m—[can’t say it]

Stop. I don’t… I don’t care about you. And if I did, I wouldn’t be hauling your ass toward danger, would I? What sort of asshole would that make me? What sort of person would that make me…

[deep breath] Okay. We’re only a week away from the goal. We’ll make it. We’ll get the loot, hopefully get your cousins off your tail, and then we’ll go our separate ways, just like I said. If it’s the sort of stash you think it is, it’ll be plenty for you to get your own jet and hightail it wherever you want to go.

That’s not funny. Knock it off.

No, you don’t.

No. I meant what I said, Stardust. You’re a bounty. I shouldn’t have let you think otherwise. This…you and me…that’s not a thing.

[sighs and repeats] Friends… No. I don’t want to be your friend. Look at the shit you stir up.

Yeah, I said that but you’re more trouble than you’re worth.

[huffs a laugh] Shit, that’s a hell of an ego. I guess I should have expected that from a primer. Of course, you’d think you’re worth it.

No, I don’t. The only thing I care about it my payday and my skin. I don’t need a partner or a friend or… I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.

[bursts] You’re going to leave either way! [cringing] You don’t belong out here. You’re not a mercenary or a bounty hunter. You’re just a spoiled rich kid playing at crime past the edge for thrills. You’ll get over it and go home to the prime eventually.

[sighs] That’s not the same. Your family is a completely different sort of criminal element, and you know it.

What?

You…

Stop it. You don’t mean that.

[Stardust stepping closer, voice lower] Stardust…

[sighs, so close] I wasn’t scared…

I’m not lying…

[Stardust kisses Cosmic]

[softer, conflicted] Why did you do that?

Don’t say that… Don’t. You can’t.

[another kiss]

Damn it… [Cosmic kisses Stardust, grumbles] You make bad choices, Stardust…

Yeah, this is one of those bad choices. I’m a bad choice.

[huffs a thin laugh] You’re cracked if you think that.

[kiss] You taste like paint… [smirking a little despite himself] I wasn’t complaining.

The what?

The score is not one point five to six now! You did not save me. I saved you. It’s my point. I literally pulled that merc off of you.

Are you seriously reminding me about the human shield incident already?

Yes, it’s still too soon. It’s been less than an hour!

So what if you dragged me back to the ship? You think I haven’t had to wake up and crawl back? I told you, I’ve had worse.

Fine. It’s a scratch. No points for either of us.

[longer pause, ship sounds]

[smirking] …Are you suggesting we clean up together?

I don’t think I’m in danger of passing out again. You patched the gunshot wound, remember?

I mean… Yeah, I’d hate to drown in my shower. That’d be a stupid way to go.

Stardust…Are you trying to seduce me? You know that won’t change my mind, right? You’re still on your own as soon as I get my hands on my half of that treasure.

I’ll call it treasure if I want to.

It is too.

Wait. Do you think arguing is flirting?

You are terrible at seduction…

[laughs] I could definitely do a better job!

No! That first time you stole my gun was a fluke. I wasn’t seduced, I was confused.

Absolutely not. Go use your own shower. [smiling] I can’t trust your motives.

I didn’t say it wasn’t tempting… I said I can’t trust why you’re doing it. You might just want to steal my jacket again. Or my gun. Or my ship.

[thinking] I guess that could be worth the risk…

Okay, Stardust. I’ll call your bluff. [door whoosh] Come on in. I’ll get that paint out of your hair and you can make sure I don’t faint from blood loss in the shower.

[Stardust stepping inside, the door whooshing shut, closer, quieter] Really?

[laughs] Yep. The worst at flirting…

[kiss]

[sighs] Okay. Not the worst.

11.

[hum of the ship, space sliding by outside]

[in bed, watching the stars]

Of course, my room has a window and a real bed.

Your room is a cargo hold when I’m not transporting…well, human cargo. [laughs a little] I guess it’s still a cargo hold. That’s why all the meal bars and protein shakes are in there. Did you think I put them there just for you? That room belongs to them! You’re the guest.

[stretch of quiet, space sounds]

Hm… Roll over again? I want to get another look at that map.

[laughs] Why would I be tricking you? You’re already in my bed. I’ve already seen everything…

[repositioning. Looking at the tattoo] Hm… Yeah, the map has moved a little more. It’s getting closer to the destination. I wonder what it’ll look like when we get there. It’s moving ink, so why not give us little fireworks or something when we reach the treasure?

Knock it off, you know it’s treasure.

Even if there isn’t an X and we don’t have to dig it up, it doesn’t make it not treasure. I don’t know why you refuse to call it what it is. Loot. Bounty. Booty. [laughs]

You mean, will it disappear after we find it? I don’t think so, Stardust… I’ve never known any moving ink to vanish on its own. If it bothers you, we could try to find someone to get rid of it. Once the treasure is already found, you won’t have to worry about someone trying to use it to get there.

…No, you’re right. They wouldn’t necessarily believe us that we’d already found it.

It’s not a bad tattoo. It’s beautiful work.

Stardust…[smiling] are you falling asleep?

Yeah. You can sleep here if you want. I mean…tonight. Not like, every night. Don’t try to steal my room.

[stretch of quiet]

[quieter, serious] You know this doesn’t change anything, right?

No. And we were not partners before we slept together. We’re not partners. We’re just… working together for the time being.

No, I don’t.

Nope.

I meant what I said.

Yes, I did.

I—[groans playfully] Stop it! How do you turn everything into a petty argument?

Yes, you— [stops when he realizes they’re doing it again] You’re evil.

[quiet hum of space and the ship]

[smiling] And how do you still have paint in your hair? I thought we got it all out…

Hm? Why do you want to know that?

[laughs soft] Are you trying to say that my life story is sure to be so boring that it’ll knock you out?

No. They weren’t. The only time my parents were ever on a spaceship was when they were being shipped out to the edge to colonize a new mining settlement. They used to say that I was born looking up… I think they just said that because they’d realized I’d have to go eventually. So, they told me I’d always wanted to be an adventurer and eventually I believed it.

The mines dried up sooner than the corporations expected. They stopped prioritizing the settlement. We’re far out, you know? It was close to the edge and that costs to maintain. When they finally decided it wasn’t worth it, they just stopped coming—stopped paying the mercenaries to guard the colony. Pirates and worse started to set up shop real quick after that. It’s still there, the last planetary settlement before the deep.

Hm? Oh, no, it was just me by then. I got on the first ship that would take me. Scariest ride of my life. That ship was a wreck, barely holding together, and we were packed standing inside it for hours. I can still remember the way it creaked and shook, like it was going to come apart and we’d all just be flushed out into space.

We made it to the nearest station. The captain we’d all paid, tried to double cross us by selling us to a skin ship. I was lucky that some of the others were armed and would rather go down shooting then get on that other vessel. It turned into a firefight right there in the station and we scattered. I stowed away on a big cargo ship and got out of there.

Oh, I definitely got caught, but by then we were away from the station and those cargo ships can’t waste time turning back. I guess they could have jettisoned my ass but the captain felt bad for me. I was barely more than a kid. He said he was short-handed so I could work for my food and board.

I was trying to get to the prime. [huffs a small laugh] I’m probably lucky I never made it. What would I have done there? They probably would have put my ass back on a ship running cargo out here.

…Yeah. [smiles] You’re right. If I’d gotten myself one of those legit long-haul jobs, who would have been out here to save you from those pirates?

I wouldn’t go that far.

Shut up and fall asleep already.

12.

[space sounds]

[muffled] Stardust!

[distant alarms sounding and then an impact shudder]

[muffled] Stardust!

[Stardust running to the bridge, door whoosh, ship shudder]

[ship] L-Class yacht closing in.

Get in that seat and buckle up!

Your cousin.

I’m pretty damn sure, Stardust. Aside from the fact that no one else out here has a chrome yacht armed to the teeth, he did have the courtesy to call before he started trying to blow out our engines.

[ship control sounds, impact shudder]

I said buckle up!

We’ll go through that debris, fly close to the asteroids and see if we can lose them… That yacht is huge, maybe we’ll get lucky and they won’t want to take the hits going through. Not sure we can hope they’ll break apart but who knows, maybe we have some luck left…

[ship control sounds]

Here. You have access to the guns. Shoot them if they get in range.

I know it won’t do much against their shields but it’s not like we’re just going to give up.

Really, Stardust? You want a breakdown of the conversation, right now?

[groans] He said I could hand you over and walk, or we’d both get a bullet. Now fucking shoot something!

[ship sounds, muffled gunfire]

Fuck… They’re blowing through the debris… It’s not even slowing them down.

We can’t outrun them. The only reason they haven’t blown us to bits is because they need you alive.

[ship] Exiting debris field.

There’s a gas cloud not far from here… Maybe…

[ship] L-Class yacht is too close for safe—

[ship shuddering, hit by the yacht]

They’re ramming us…

[ship alarm in background]

They’re not outfitted to grab and board us. I think they’re trying to disable our flight. If we’re floating dead, they’d have plenty of time to figure out how to get you out.

[ship] Hull damage to starboard side. Maintenance required.

[scoffs, sarcastic] Yeah, thanks ship, I’ll get right on that.

[another hit]

Fuck!

[Stardust unbuckling]

What are you doing? Sit back down! You’re going to get hurt!

What? No!

[Cosmic unbuckling and getting up]

Stop! We’re not doing that.

[worried and frustrated] …No, we can’t get away, but maybe we could…

[pause, Stardust talking]

[stubborn] I am not trading you.

I said no, Stardust. I’m not ditching you.

I’m not saying it wouldn’t work! I’m saying… I’m saying I won’t do it.

Maybe if we pretend to surrender… They can’t kill you until they get to the treasure.

[groans] Do not argue with me about calling it treasure right now…

We could wait until they dock with us and then—

[desperate] I know it’s not likely to work, Stardust, but what other options do we have?

No…No, I can’t do that.

I…I just can’t…I can’t!

[following them to the escape pod]

Stardust stop!

[ship] Escape pod activated.

Stop. [close] Just… Wait.

[ship hit again, alarm in the background still going off]

We’re only a few days out from the target, Stardust… Once they find it, they’re going to kill you.

We can keep going until they either back off or smash us apart… You don’t have to do this.

[ship shudder]

Fucking forget what I said! I’m telling you to stay.

You weren’t just a payday, okay? Now get back in your seat and—

[frustrated] Stardust—

[shudder a breath] Yeah, we almost made it…

They’re going to kill you. Don’t do this. Don’t go.

[pause, alarms and ship shudder background]

Three days…That’s a bad plan.

No, the tracking nanites are still active but they might be able to detect and eliminate them.

Fine. Fine! Yes. I can find you. Three days… I will find you.

[pod door whoosh]

[ship] Preparing escape pod.

[impact shudder, alarms, his shaking breath]

I am going to find you, Stardust.

Yeah… Because you’re my bounty. I told you I wouldn’t let you go without getting my cut, right?

I will find you. Just… try to stay alive until I do.

[door closes]

[ship] Escape pod release.

#audio script #sci fi romance #jouska #stardust and cosmic #dominimoonbeam #own work #ride or die in space #defying gravity universe #clover down #<3

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