#these things are legit going to get people killed
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(despairingly) ... lack of funds...
... it's not even like we're overly wasteful... haven't blown money on luxuries at all... it'd be so nice... uff... seriously, why is it so hard to settle our cash...
NERO: "Well, you are right that the Bout is rather promising in terms of funds."
MUSASHI: "Speaking of the Bout, my match is coming up. We've gotta go-- you too, managers! Let's get moving!"
Heading to the arena, you found yourself in the locker rooms, speaking with JAGUAR MAN.
JAGUAR MAN: "Normally, it'd just be our lovely Samurai running solo... However, since she's a Servant and Moby Dick is considered a 'final boss-tier enemy', I figured you could come along. If you want to keep things legit, you can just sit back and watch instead of helping."
It seemed like you were allowed to come and help this time around.
Really. With JAGUAR MAN running things, the rules were more akin to 'suggestions', weren't they?
JAGUAR MAN: "Anyways, don't die! You acted as a real promising heel during the match with the Fairy Guy, so I'd like to see more of you! Bye!"
Wasn't killing banned? Did the Moby Dick program understand that?
Before you could ask any other questions- you were suddenly warped into the 'battle zone' along with MUSASHI. You were falling from quite the distance, the samurai flipping in the air and swooping towards you, clutching you in her arms and holding you to her chest as she touched down onto the ground, her boots skidding against rock and gravel.
She put you down, looking around. You saw a drab-looking coastline, surrounded by dark waters and heavy cloud cover.
MUSASHI: "...Phew... let's do this, Managers!"
It was quiet. You heard the sound of the waves crashing, before a transmission echoed over the zone you had been transported to.
--
JAGUAR MAN: "Oh man, I know you've all been waiting for this! Two prime fighters! Moby Dick, our nigh-undefeatable oceanic behemoth! The Null Zero Samurai, our cold-blooded, beautiful rookie! And we have a rare guest, one of the few people who's bested Moby Dick- the mighty Jishnu has suddenly found free time during the Main Bout matches, so he's here to help with commentary!"
DURYODHANA: "Ha ha ha. Would you like to keep pouring salt on the wound, or can we get started?"
DURYODHANA: "Anyways, this is a rather momentous occasion. There aren't many fighters that I think will be able to even last 10 seconds against Moby Dick, but I have a feeling that we're seeing a fighter that will make it to the rare echelons of 'people who aren't obliterated instantly'."
JAGUAR MAN: "While Father Kotomine will be covering Adamant and the Man-Slayer, and Miss Cat will be guest-commentating on the Cuauhtli and Strong-Mask Bout, we'll be doing double-duty covering the-- huh? Hang on, the Wandering Blade just lost. That fast? Really? I guess we're just covering Moby Dick and the Samurai, then! Jishnu, do you have any last minute advice?"
DURYODHANA: "Not just anyone can fight Moby Dick. It takes a solid awareness of your surroundings, and ingenuity. Hardly anything ever works twice against that thing. But, the goal is simple-- either knock it out for 10 seconds, or get it to fully retreat. In other words, the resourceful tend to have better chances."
JAGAUR MAN: "And with that, fine people of the Solar Cell-- let's have ourselves a Bout!"
--
Once it ended, you found yourself back in the eerie atmosphere of the beach, the only noise coming from the waves lapping against the shore.
Off in the distance, you heard the sound of a whale bellowing. No sights of anything, however.
The first thing that caught your eye was a small dock, and a person standing on a large ship. That was probably used in the fight against MOBY DICK, to give people a nautical advantage.
The first thing MUSASHI saw was herself in the water's reflection.
MUSASHI: "Hel~lo there..."
...Right. The charm effect on the Mystic Code. She stood, looking at her reflection in the ocean water before a wave broke it up, MUSASHI blinking a few times before looking around.
MUSASHI: "Oh, sweet! A ship!"
SABER beamed, rushing over.
MUSASHI: "Yoo-hoo! Hi there, beautiful lady standing next to a beautiful ship!"
The person on the ship looked down, leaning over the railing with a disarmingly friendly smile.
PRIVATEER: "Hahaha, what an introduction! You can just call me the 'Privateer'. I was summoned for a more flashy purpose, but this and that happened, so I'm working freelance. Anyways-- 1500 PPT, and you have a boat set and ready to sail against Moby Dick!"
Oh, alright. That made sen--
--Huh?
Wait...
What?
1500 PPT?
MUSASHI: "Wait, you're charging us? Don't you work for the Bout? I thought it'd be free!"
PRIVATEER: "My contract with the Jaguar just requires me to have a boat available for any participating fighters. Which I do. There's a free one down there. Look."
She pointed at a run-down, wooden dinghy next to the ship. It looked… stable. In the sense that it could float. And it didn't really seem to be doing that very well either.
Did JAGUAR MAN know about this?
...Actually, knowing her, she probably approved it.
PRIVATEER: "But… A good boat, and maybe some extra help? That costs money. It's not like my price is steep, it's only 10% of the prize pot… and if you can beat Moby Dick, don't you have a solid chance at being the champ and winning all that cash anyways? Besides, I'm sure you've heard that Moby Dick is a 'final-boss tier' Enemy Program. You'll need everything you can get. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. So, whad'dya say?"
…Did you somehow find a person more shrewd (greedy) than PRETENDER? Still… it wasn't like you had to use it. It was a luxury…
…A luxury, that's all it was…
...You didn't NEED to have a good ship in order to take down Moby Dick, right?
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Watched a few videos and reviews of the tesla cybertruck and like I can't even joke about it anymore these things are legit death machines and it is truly horrifying that they are allowed on the road at all. I'm not kidding, we are like days away from our first cybertruck fatality. And it will not be the last.
#cybertruck#these things are legit going to get people killed#and I am no longer joking if I see one on the road with me I'm pulling over until it leaves
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It does genuinely shock me how few people in the DA fandom are willing to acknowledge that the Grey Wardens are kinda extremely horrific and fucked up
#like they’re more egalitarian that any political system in Thedas sure#but idk maybe giving an uncentralized military power the ability to conscript anyone they want#lie to recruits about what this entails both whether they were forced in or joined willingly#and then kill them if they hesitate and maybe kill them anyway in the process of recruiting just by failing to drink poison#and then shorten their lifespan and force them into a fate of slowly becoming tainted if they manage to survive long enough#maybe that’s bad actually#maybe you should tell people what this entails at least#‘oh but then no one would join’ i promise you people still would stfu#maybe I’m just at the end of the day a city elf filled with rage at being forced into a military#because I fought back against rapists and protected my family#like legit tho getting fucking conscripted on top of all the shit that happens in the city elf origin#if fucking terrible and my warden is always going to be angry at Duncan over it#maybe I’m just eternally bitter at that but you will never find me respecting or wanting ti be a warden again#my HoF disappearing after Awakening and trying to cure the blight to fuck off from them is the most in character thing for her tbh#but yeah this is also part of why I never make Bethany a warden in DA2#she seems genuinely happier if she joins the circle for one thing#but also she at least gets to escape that in the end
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the next person to spam me is going to watch me kill myself in their home. i am literally gonna change the trajectory of your life
#it literally says. do not spam like posts. it should be the first thing you read.#killing everyone with my mind.#literally the ONE thing i ask of people and and yall can’t be bothered 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#idk it pisses me off when people ignore a boundary that is very easy to abide by. cuz that boundary means a LOT. to me. like a lot a lot#and literally people go out their way to be actual dirtwipes actually get bent#i refuse to believe people aren’t doing this on purpose. like legit.#anyway that’s it that’s the vent goodbye#shut up momo
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It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move
Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)
Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back
...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet
#legit; as small as it is it gives me a hint at the direction things will head and that costco will get more and more anti consumer#and I'm in minutes going from an 'I love costco; it's how I afford to eat; go get a cheap pizza'#to 'you know costco is kinda frustrating and annoying and I don't trust their ceo... I'm not sure if it's worth your time and money'#like look back and; tumblr search willing; you'll find posts of me singing costco's praises; literal free advertising#cause while it's not right for everyone; man is it so much cheaper than places like walmart#but... I legit don't know if I can recommend it anymore#for one thing; when I signed up I just spotted the members desk; walked in the backdoor up to the desk; and gave them money#now... what? you gotta ask permission? I feel like there's a chilling effect on wanting to join... at least for my socially anxious ass#and again; I just whiff this as like when games companies add DRM that breaks the game... for people who actually pay for it#they're making me suffer a pain in the ass for no reason cause someone might not be giving them money#and now that person never will give them money... and frankly... if they don't pay the membership but spend $500 how much did you lose?#but like I said; I feel it in the air; that costco will start doing more and more anti consumer stuff#...do I think it's a good idea to join up when they're gonna slowly start turning this corner?#I mentioned that quote by the founder about killing them if they raise the price of the hotdog#but... the fact the founder felt the need to say that to begin with told me something#kinda gotten the impression that the ceo is greedy as hell and wants to drain the consumer (so... a normal ceo)#and this just smacks of netflix/disney#oh... did you hear about disney killing someone with a food allergy despite being told about it multiple times like when the dish arrived?#and now disney is trying to forced arbitrate cause they had a disney+ trial in 2019#you hear about that one? cause that's a real news story; I'll find you an article if you don't believe it#anyway; this smacks of cracking down on password sharing to make up for hypothetical lost revenue#and let me tell you... if I could switch to pirating my groceries I would; I would download eggs#so this doesn't change costco fundamentally; but it does make it feel more hostile and like it doesn't trust me#it makes things feel more adversarial instead of like a partnership where they get me good prices on good things and I give money#and I just wouldn't be surprised if they start doing more things I don't like#things that make things worse... things like raising prices to increase their profit#...makes me want to... work on figuring out how to make everything myself since no company is trustworthy#they'll all turn on you in the end; the moment the wrong person takes charge they'll start to metastasis#towards the cancer of infinite profits#not saying don't go to costco... I'm saying don't get attached if you do; I think they're ready to do what every company does these days
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Philippus? Wym philippus this is a wholeass other woman?????? She's white?????? Guys come on now
ALSO cursed white Euboea in this same sequence.... homeboy she's Asian please stop
Joe Phillips I'm sorry but this is some shitty ass guest pencilling how can you not know anything abt what these people look like thats literally your job... you also just needed to read the issue before this to know?
Editors should have caught this one these are major Amazon characters
#also i did a quick wiki check for one thing and basically confirmed that i was right about this entire arc so i win i guess 💪💪💪💪#like “the amazons are starting some crazy murder shit!” are they really now. which amazons may i ask? are you sure its not the bana-#oh yep its the baba mighdall. well then. TOTALLY didnt see this coming (said w love)#i mean its like maybe im being perceptive but they literally showed two of them in their armor and had one say phthia aka one of the#founders of the bana. like okay i had to do a wiki to check that and obvi id know slightly more than a pérez run reader abt them#(but not much honestly ive read the same stuff they wouldve just plus some fandom osmosis/knowing who artemis is) but i digress. do think he#maybe could have put showing them off but i understand the motive of not wanting readers to go months thinking the amazons were chopping#ppls heads off. but they could have teased the mind control red herring (probably? think it was a red herring although it could pop back up#the arc is still ongoing) a little bit more considering weve had dr psycho starting shit for the past 4 (at LEAST) issues but well whatever#anyways the pencilling on this one needed help like its not even a coloring issue at the core of it its legit this guest guy drawing#totally different people... very lame#anyways maybe im too quick to blame it all on the bana i am only halfway through the arc#like i do think it is the bana. i think thats the answer. but again dr psycho IS causing problems and theres been hints of the cheetah being#involved (“animal attack” killings + a shot of her in arkham) AND circe was namedropped (although now we know it was dr psycho) but im still#slightly suspicious bc there seems to be possesed animals... like they are v much laying different hints and pathways here#but i think its the bana. i think its psycho fucking around and also the bana and MAYBE a psycho controlled cheetah or the bana mimicing her#patterns. or are the bana even there if psychos involved??? he could just be fucking around then- okay you know what. maybe im less sure of#this than i thought and should just read more. wait but how would psycho even know about the bana to have ppl hallucinate hed just use the#themyscirans-- okay i need to read more im getting distracted. the bana are definitely involved though im calling it. its them and maybe#psycho. and maybe cheetah. and maybe circe but likely not bc we already established that was a false lead. unless that was also a trick. and#WHAT ABT ARES ALL THE STOLEN ARTIFACTS HAD TO DO WITH WAR--#.... guys im losing it. fuck it im saying its all giganta and calling it a day i cant do this#no but i love how this mystery is set up its like they just dropped clues for every single ww villain onto it and said “here. good luck.”#this is before the big ww crossover too so it could actually be all of them im losing my mind here. WHO IS IT#ive twisted myself in a circle here i dont know anything now. only that i did call it if it was the bana. or if theres mind control or smth#sus about heracles cup. i also called that although its seeming less and less likely now that the bana and psycho are likely involved. and#maybe cheetah. and circe. and ares. guys im falling apart here#what was the point of this post then? oh shitty guest pencilling and editor flops. the editor flop part i can understand im sure they were#busy even if this is a big thing to miss imo. the penciller though is just silly come on now. someone should have caught that. anyways--#swishy liveblogs
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"xD instead of saying some cringey thing you should just say youre gonna kill yourself xD"
well i did spend a very long time doing that :) and still do sometimes :) and it turns out it made my brain feel really shitty :) and i dont want my brain to feel like that anymore :) so i'm gonna dive into the sea and become a beautiful humpback whale instead :)
#its like. ok. i get the point is like#people on this website think its an 'unaliving' type thing#like cringey self censorship on other sites bc there is a legit or perceived risk of being flagged if you say certain things#so like haha this is the website where you can say faggot and sex and kill#but like. trying to change my automatic thoughts is just. its therapy. and maybe you should go to that#or at least google coping techniques or talk to people#cuz it turns out that a bunch of mentally ill people masking their issues by saying its just an ironic meme was really fucking me up!#it turns out thinking like that all the time and saying that shit all the time really fucking sucks!
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i was legitimately fully lucid dreaming last night and the second i tried to conjure up Anton I WOKE UP. WHY
#it was soooo cool tho#a lot of my dreams are in a sense lucid because i kinda know im dreaming in most of them but just#don’t try to change anything and just go with the flow#but last night was cool like i was fully in control of the dream and i was a little ghost flying around#and also everyone was trying to kill me for some reason (and then i legit killed someone in self defense. my bad)#so i like flew away as a ghost and i was supposed to be invisible but it was raining so that fucks up my ghost powers i guess#and i found this really cozy looking cottage and went inside and had to barricade the doors from the mob of angry people after me#and i’m like. oh you know what would be cool. anton should live here#and the SECOND he showed up in the dream i woke up and was PISSED#like every time one of my ocs show up in my dreams is the coolest thing ever but i always wake up right away probably from excitement tbh#because like. my ocs are the most important things to me in the world so yeah i guess i’d get excited to meet them#wyrms says stuff#anton oc#dreams
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fascinating message from my mother vis a vis the camera in the living room that i unplug any time she leaves. her reasoning is that shes been cheated on in the past, so shes paranoid and needs to keep track of who's coming into the house. my reasoning, i feel, is that reason makes 0 sense because i am her Son, and if i bring someone into the house thats not... even close to the same thing??? what the fuck kind of logic line is that??? i might be doing secret illicit relationship stuff with... my own boyfriend? in my house where i live? what kind of an example for needing the cameras is that????? shes not in a relationship anymore, my """"dad"""" moved out already. what is the fucking issue here.
#saddle says#'having people do secret hidey stuff like having other women in my house is why theyre there'#okay well im not bringing in women and even if i was they arent the 'other woman' because you are my Mother#explain to me why your relationship issues should impact my ability to have an unobserved conversation with my partner#explain to me why her kneejerk response to me not wanting her to know everything im doing is immediately to go#'are you having sex in my bed?????'#no!!!!!!!!!! that would be weird!!!!!! why do you bring it up every time!!!!!!!!#i just dont like being Watched when im trying to relax in the living room alone#i dont think she believes me abt not fucking in her room also#she never has and she never will its some gross fixation of hers#if shes still on this shit when i get home i might legit just call it here bc im not abt to sit there and let her do this shit again#shes wildly paranoid and doesnt listen to a thing i say and i swear to god if she turns this into a whole thing im going to kill myself#and on god ill try to burn the house down at the same time#smash every camera before i do it
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I know it's been said before but for real if Dean had heard Cas saying werepire his only thought until he could get home and do it would've been kissing cas
#cas would be like oh sure now that i think about it it being a werepire makes sense#and dean would said something like what what did you say#and cas would repeat it making that sound he does when he gets a tiny bit upset that people don't get him#and since dean would get attack he would go 'hang on hol that thought'#and almost everything there happens the same#only that when he kill the thing and goes back to the car cas asks him if he's okay#and dean remembers he said werepire and he has a sudden urge to just kiss the hell out of him but he can't#so he just tells cas he'll see him home and swallows big#and when dean gets home even when he's covered in blood and all he kisses cas#and cas just tilts his head and asks what was that for#and dean looks at him half scared half excited like a little puppy and tells him almost whispering that he said werepire#whyyyy didn't i get this#legit the writers knew if dean had heard well#destiel
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i hate tumblr new format. alsooo whatd i miss
#listen my tumblr writing voice is disappearing since all i post are instagram CFs.#alas whats#errr i went to ecuador over the summer and holy i love cocktails#i got drunk for the first time and the next date went hungover to a diff date and then got into a relationship but i broke up with him like#two days ago#IB Y2 is effectively killing me and the last thing i needed was someoen that drained me#also i found an argentine show called rebelde way from the 2000 s#go di need to rant about it i feel so strongly like i just im so frustrated school is so much and i am bf-less (for the better) and#i turn 18 soon and i start college next sept and im gonna major in math and OH BUT i dont want to be alone i hate being alone oh oh oh#bu the show is so good but my deadlines are so heavy but the show but pablo and marizza#IB took over sm of my life like yeah i let it consume me but oh god oh oh oh#i hadnt had a legit interest or show i liked bc i know i get deranged about them#godd im also one of the only 2 girls left in the program#and i need to hit the gym bc like. grad is soon and why are boys in my school so mean#in ecuador this isnt a thing like friendships are sm closer in ecuador and dynamics are so different and oh i yearn to be with tehm i reall#do but the country is like not okay and i had a kidnapping scare but oh oh oh to feel loved by the people around you#anyways what else#sorry i disappeared fellas
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I can’t take people who say that Sneasler is the worst pokemon ever designed seriously when Aromatisse has existed since 2013. Especially since Sneasler is kind of the poster child of video essays regarding why “Legends Arceus bad”.
Let’s be real here, if Blaziken and Lucario were 8th/9th gen pokemon rather than 3rd and 4th gen respectively, they would be loathed and reviled instead of seen as untouchable and iconic.
#pokemon#pokemon memes#hey I have my issues with modern Pokemon too even if I usually go to bat for any given main series game#and by usually I mean any game that isn't BDSP#I'd sooner stand up for baby's first bethesda game in Scarlet and Violet than BDSP#I will say that we're in a dark age for the franchise#but it's a Disney dark age#Sure we get our Black Cauldrons and our BDSPs#But we also have our Fox and the Hounds and our Legends Arceus(es?)#TLDR the Pokemon fandom gives me a migraine#The DS generation has become the thing we hate the most in the Genwunners who shot down BW for dumb reasons all those years ago#It pains me to admit this as a staunch fan of the DS era#I grew up with D/P/PT and BW/BW2#I adore those and generally agree they're the best games in the series#but wow the fans can be so elitist#they're so condescending towards all the 3D games and get more obnoxious with each new game#And like guys considering we've had more anthropomorphic-style pokemon since Gen 3#I legit don't get the hate behind pokemon like Incineroar or Meowscarada or Sneasler#Again if the Gen IX and Gen III starters were swapped y'all would be revering Meowscarada as your right hand man and childhood best friend#While Blaziken would be the one people scream AAA TWO LEGS KILL IT at#It's the truth and you know it#also if they're purely hated because internet artists will draw weird art of them like not being bipedal has stopped them before#see Absol and Latias and Serperior#TLDR stop gatekeeping#and I'm not asking you to turn your brain off but if you go in looking for things to hate of course you're going to have a bad time
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not gonna lie my characterization and rationalization of akira's character has been easier to do once i found out he shares the same personality type as me.
like sure it's subjective or whatever but as one myself, ENFP akira makes a lot of his actions make so much more sense. same with ENTP goro. god it makes everything so much easier with arguably complex characters like them.
#aishi.txt#NOW IMMA BE REAL W U i cant pretend to know everything about personality types and learning about it makes my head SPIN#so if im wrong about their types (or god forbid my own type) dont beat me up!!! im just a little guy you wouldnt do that to a silly lil guyy#i know how. passionate people get about these. letters#but i just think knowing even surface-level about it helped Me in particular ^_^#like it rly did. im a stickler for these things and i care if im portraying characters right somewhat in my art n analysis n shi#so putting them in these lil boxes and labeling them helps!#OUGHHH IM BEIN sooo.. smart n organized rn. lets freaking go#like i think its less 'oh akira just like me fr' but more like shit yeah that makes sense people do that#like if someone thinks its weird akira would devote himself to a man who betrayed and tried to kill him twice 🤨🤨🤨#....lets just say they havent met me!#(me forgiving any guy who's wronged me before as long as they say the word or show a modicum of remorse) seems legit!#that being said i think akira just like me fr in the way that if i embraced my quietude or whatever#i think#i am an ENFP though even if i dont know anything beyond surface level ive done multiple tests on various sotes and spaced them out#by months#and kept getting ENFP#So objectively i am one 😎 (dont make me go into identity crisis mode pls! )#i think it speaks volumes though like i understand all too well#hc but i think akira wasnt always quiet but he had to be quiet when he transferred which is obv and also being quiet came naturally?#but its obvious he doesnt always want to be#ie him laughing maniacally in metaverse. frequent flaunting and 'it's showtime!' stuff#for me in the past the 'quiet kid. unassuming' label followed me throughout school and i haaaated that but there was also no disputing it..#i could only try to get close to ppl to show them the real me... -_-#i guess i relate to akira on that front#that being said im also probably mega projecting#but what is media and my own engagement of it if not a sandbox playground for me to do whatever#that being said if im severely ignorant abt this pls lmk im down to learn. i think i prolly am esp in regards to goro's type cuz#i didnt spend that long thinking about him. cuz akira's my fav dhdhdj#🫰goro's just fun to psychoanalyze. akira's my meepmorp if that makes sense
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Leon:”Live:How to do anal from the starting point, make 10k”.
William:Hey, we’re all men here. We’re all friends. I can say this without any judgement, right?
Nathapon:Relax, no one’s going to judge you.
Leon:Okay, say it.
William:I’d do it for ten thousand.
Leon:Nine thousand, come on.
William:Are you trying to negociate my ass???
Nathapon:I thought he was offering his.
William:Would you do it, Leon? For ten thousand?
Leon:I’d do it for less. You know, eight thousand...
William:Eight dollars...
#incorrect quotes#eternal return incorrect quotes#black survival incorrect quotes#i do these tags so automatically that i legit type in immortal soul and go 'ah fucks sake'#i could use it? i could? but i know it's gonna take those two months to BEAT THIS OUT OF ME#williamblacksurvival#nathaponblacksurvival#leonblacksurvival#i think nathapon constantly gets stuck in the single strangest conversations. always. all the time#there's two normal people and suddenly his Aura makes them start talking about weird shit#sometimes he probably writes in his diary thing like 'i hope someone tries to kill me so i can forget this ever happened'
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,
#tag talk#excuse me while I get drunk and ramble about the magic of human connection to my younger friend who hasn't had to deal with all this yet#when people talk about the importance of intergenerational friendships they're talking about me mentoring the gay kids I meet on minecraft#because no one should have to grow up alone.#and sure. “minors shouldn't interact with sex” is a pretty set in stone rule. but do you think the minors are following it?#do you think it benefits kids who are already having sex in high school if we clam up like puritans about the existence of cum?#I did get the chance to refer him to the scarleteen website though so thanks whatever tumblr post offered me that resource#but gay kids with Christian parents deserve the chance to have a safe space to make daddy jokes and talk about having a hard time#and my entire life I've hated disapproving adults who shake their heads and go tsk tsk when you talk about anything they deem inappropriate#I'm not about to turn into one. I'm not about to shut a kid up just because I think they shouldn't think about sex.#they're just going to find that info elsewhere. they're just going to find someone else to talk to. to confide in#no one should grow up alone. I want to be someone people can talk to#I needed someone I could talk about this shit with when I was twelve. you don't get to tell me minors can't ever think about sex#I needed someone when I was a kid and I had no one. I choose caring about others over a rule without context.#gay kids deserve to know that other gay people exist. they deserve to talk to someone who will resonate with their life experience#I do appreciate all the “hey watch out for grooming” PSAs though. I always make sure to steer clear of a lot of those things#cause like. I know I'm above board. but deniability and accountability and all that. but#but kids do deserve to be treated like humans. like beings capable of autonomous thought#which btw this particular friend is legit almost eighteen I'm not getting drunk and talking about sex with a nine year old don't kill me#plenty of seventeen year olds already know about sex and alcohol and drugs and politics and crime and shit#you don't turn eighteen and immediately eat from the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil that's not how growing up works#anyway “people stop having a black and white view about the transition from childhood to adulthood” challenge. there's nuance and ambiguity#I wanted to be treated like a real human being when I was a child. I'm not about to deny that from someone else.
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happy day of egbert
CG: DON'T YOU JUST HAVE THE MANUAL SOMEWHERE?
TG: dude its the most overwhelmingly basic thing on the planet trust me i literally did all the other settings for you
TG: all you gotta do is point the thing at egbert
TG: half press to focus subject
TG: press down fully and bam done the shit is shot
CG: BUT --
TG: i know youre desperate for this to be rocket science but its genuinely like first grade biz i promise whatever pic you take is gonna be fine
===
EB: yeah, come on karkat!
EB: i am only going to be the birthday bad ass for like, 24 hours total you know.
EB: longest birthday of my LIIIIIIIIFE. haha.
EB: oh hey, from one birthday-dooms day guy to another…
EB: i am pretty sure you understand the magnitude of what i just said!
===
CG: OH HEY. FUCK YOU.
CG: I'M JUST ACCOUNTING FOR THE LITERAL FUCKING INEVITABILITY THAT WHEN I TAKE THIS PHOTO, SOME INSIDIOUS LITTLE KARMA GNOME WILL FROLIC ONTO THE SCENE IN AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LOATHSOME SERENDIPITY TO BURY ME IN 12 CUBIC METERS OF FOOL-GRADE FUCKING IDIOT POWDER.
CG: AT WHICH POINT ANOTHER HEFTY BOULDER WILL BE ADDED TO THE BULGING MACRO-BINDLE OF SHAME YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORCED ME INTO CARRYING MY WHOLE LIFE.
CG: SHIT, SOMEONE HAS GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR MY ASS.
TG: alright give us a sec
TG: huddle formation
EB: psssshhh, alright.
===
TG: youre not gonna fuck this up
TG: your ass is completely secure dude
TG: i got the double foam padded booster seat and you know that shit is strapped on this 5mph drive through quaint ol piss-easyville
EB: you know if it really is so bad you can just re-take it, right?
EB: it is really not worth aggravationing your sponge over.
TG: 'xactly
TG: knights honor that shit isnt hooked up to my ishades and will not instantly forward me a copy in crisp HD of whatever blunder youre cooking in your beautiful nugbone
===
CG: IT'S NOT JUST THAT.
CG: HAVEN'T I SHADOWED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY SHENANIGANS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOSS ME A GODDAM BONE?
CG: I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR THIS. I'VE BEEN PRIMED FOR THIS BULLSHIT FOR EQUINOXES AT THIS POINT, WATCHING YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THIS FUCKING THING.
TG: woah wait youre legit into it?
CG: YES, I AM LEGIT FUCKING INTO IT.
CG: AND I KNOW IT HAS SETTINGS YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE A BLACK AND WHITE SHOT, HUH? WHAT IF I WANT TO ADJUST THE "APERTURE" OR THE "EXPOSURE" OR SOMETHING.
TG: alright i dig the enthusiasm but maybe we can unwrap that shit when we dont have someone waiting for us
TG: i didnt know you were scoping photography man you shoulda said something!
CG: I WAS PLANNING TO! I DIDN'T ENVISION IT COMING UP SO FRIGGIN SUDDENLY MAN.
TG: i promise ill open the pandoras fuckin box of snap addicts anonymous afterwards alright
===
CG: OK, FINE. BUT I AM HOLDING YOU TO THA --
===
CG: HA HA EGBERT. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.
CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS JUST AN EMBARRASSING NOSTALGIA-DRIVEN LAPSE IN HUMOR AND NOT A GENUINE ATTEMPT TO "PRANK" ME. I REALLY DO!
EB: huh? who is this "egbert" you speak of? i have never heard of such a character.
CG: OH, JUST THIS BULGECRUD-HUFFING IMBECILE THAT FALLS BACK ON SHITTY PRACTICAL JOKES SO PLAYED-OUT THAT THEY PHYSICALLY HURT TO BEAR WITNESS TO.
CG: MY LOWER JAW IS THREATENING TO REVERSE-DROP WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY TO BURROW DIRECTLY INTO MY THOUGHT SPONGE, KILLING ME INSTANTLY.
CG: SO EITHER GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOUR PICK.
EB: damn, ok. that does sound like some pretty serious bullshit, but…
===
EB: whoever that weirdo next to you is kind of seems like he needs medical resistance more than you do!
CG: WHAT
#homestuck#413#davekat#dave strider#karkat vantas#john egbert#june egbert#j egbert#comix#happy day of egbert
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