#they all learned something important that day

[mehiwilldoitlater]

please my dear author , please!!!!! I'm begging you, Give me satisfaction with your story, please😭❤️...

May i've a reaquest headcannon for, wife s/o x sun wukong,They both are always together and fight together, even die together 😭... Please my dear author, you are my only hope .

(btw, s/o is good at healing magic, she even fights using magic)

How funny and how ironic, Wukong thought, to be held in his last moments in the arms of the sword brother that once he had tò defeat in battle.

His breath reduced by a raspy whisper, his chest now covered in blood by the wound... eh, come to think of it, he didn't feel any pain now, just numbness.

His hears, then, grasped One of the many breaths there, one that, like him, was reaching their last moments. He could recognize that breath between thousands, and then he sensed a feeling of dread. He wanted to reach her. The bull sensed his desire and obliged.

In a pool of blood, a feminine body lay. Her chest covered in arrows, her once white hanfu now in a Splendid Crimson shade. The eyes of the monkey gleam from the sad view.

A bride, even in her last moments. His bride, his wife, his everything.

You were his, and he was yours, and so the sage wanted to be until the end.

The bull was able to lay him down next to you, a small moment of peace on the battlefield.

You two really did a lot together?

///

You were mere servants for one of the seven fairies, a body between many. You never asked for something more, you never asked to be different, and you never asked to be noticed by anyone. Too much trouble, you always thought.

But you were different. Despite your humble position, you were born with abilities that, even amongst many immortals, were quite rare. Healing powers, a sacred ability that just a few could learn but were born with? You were special, but you just hoped for a humble life. 

But even in the celestial realm, nothing can just stay the same.

You first saw him when he was ordered to the Jade Emperor. Hiding behind some officials and other servants, the first thing that caught you was his manners. He wasn't a bride; he was just treating the most important being in the world like some random people. You should be shocked, but... It's nice? You wondered what kind of person was the new keeper of the horses...

///

"Master Wukong Is Amazing!"

"Since he's the one who's taking care of the celestial steed, all of the beasts are in great shape!"

Wukong was always someone who loved the praise and the compliments, but something was quite off. It was true, he was the best keeper that the Celestial stables everything had, but he had noticed something a little strange.

Sometimes, maybe by accidents or by distraction of the owner, one of the horses came back injured or with some small wounds. He had always done his best to take care of them, of course, and the next day the same wound was soon gone. More than anyone, he was supposed to be happy or proud by this, but he knew something was playing a trick on him. Surely, another one would have believed that it was the same horse that had such an ability like that, or everything that stables themselves, but why then call for someone to take care of the horses if there was something like that?

One day, he finally knew the answer.

When the day was almost over and the Night Patrol deity started to prepare for his work, Wukong wanted to check on the horses and remembered that one of them seemed quite unwell after a bad day with its owner. 

When he reached the stables, he seemed quite pleased to find the door unlocked, especially since he knew that all of his helpers had left for the night. He noticed there the light of a small lantern, and there he decided to move. Taking the form of a fly, he started to buzz in the direction of the light, and what he saw left him pleased.

"Poor one, did they mistreat you, uh?"

Your voice seemed so kind and gentle; the horse was immediately putty in your hands. Sitting on an overturned bucket, you gently caressed its snout and Maine, coercing it to give you its injured leg.

"I know what it means; don't worry, I'll treat you right away."

And, under the incredulous eyes of the Great Sage, a dim light started to shine in your hand, and, by just caressing it, the wound was good and gone!

"There, all done!" You said happily, keepnon caressing the horse, "Now you look good as new!"

The Great Sage couldn't control himself; you had picked up his curiosity like nothing before! Like a bolt, he immediately took back his true form and started you and the horse.

"Easy horse, brother!" He esclaimed, calming the beast, "Do not scare the precious one!"

You feel a sense of panic. You were caught, red-handed, in the celestial stables tending the horses that weren't even your own duty, by the keeper himself. You kneel before him, your face in the dirt, hoping to appeal to his kindness.

"Forgive me, master! I didn't intend to do any harm! I just wanted to cure these poor creatures! Please don't report me! I beg you!"

He looked at you with quite the interest, bent down to touch your head, laughing a little.

"Come now, precious one! I'm not in need of this kind of guidance! I punish who's wrong me, not who does good!"

You raised your head a little, your forhead dry from the mud of the pavement.

"You...you won't?"

"Not as long as you're going to share with me that trick of yours, precious one!"

"My Lord, I'm not precious at all! I'm just a servant."

"Tell me your name; even if you'll be precious to me!"

"I'm Y/N, master; I work under the Seven Fairies, daighters of the Jade Emperor. And...my powers are just my powers; I was born with them."

"Oh, a servant?!" He seemed indignant by your statement, "How can it be?! Such powers are for gods and immortals! Not for servants and cleaners! They had made a mistake with your position!"

"Oh, no, master! I'm where I wanted to be! I do not care for my position; I just enjoy my life as it is."

He pondered, Little, what a strange little thing you were. Such amazing powers, and yet so humble?! So interesting, very much indeed! He circled you a few times, causing you to emit a few giggles, even if you tried to keep them in your mouth. 

"Say, do you like these horses?"

"Yes, master! Quite Indeed!"

"Then! Come to me every day at this same time! I want to know you better!"

///

And so you kept your promise. Every day, after your choirs, you were welcomed in his own palace, treated like an equal. Sometimes you've dined, sometimes you've just drunk tea, but every time talking with him seems so natural. You showed interest in his home, to the point that he wanted you to pay a visit there with him next time.

He loved having you around; you've never looked him down, always so modest and kind. You were truly a precious one to him! He never loses a chance to greate you, even in front of the other servants and celestials.

And so rumors started to spread. 

The Bimawen found a friend in the Seven Fairies servant. The girl likes to spend time with horses and monkeys, they said. Some even complained that you smelled of animals.

Once, one of the seven sisters even forced you to take a bath and tò not touch anything until you were completely cleaned. It was so humiliating.

But you decide not to tell anything to the Bimawen, afraid of some reaction. And yet, something still happened.

One incautious immortal had decided that he needed to provoke the monkey and reveal his true position in the heavens! You were sure he was aware of it. Instead, they decided not to inform him! He was furious! He destroyed the stables and fled away from Heaven.

He had one regret: leave you there alongside those foolish arrogants! But he could not force you, not someone like you.

So imagine his surprise when the youngest monkey proclaimed to have captured an immortal, only to come to him withbyour in their grasp!

"Y/n?!" He screamed, reaching you with a jump and taking you in a bone-crashing hug. "My precious! Why are you here?! Did you finally decide to come and green my children?!"

"Oh Wukong," you caressed his head. "The Celestial Palace is enraged! They want to capture you! They're sending an army here!"

He laughed, finally setting you down, caressing your delicate hand.

"Old Wukong is not afraid of them; I'll let them regret having provoked the Great Sage equal to Heaven!"

And while you wondered when the battle could begin, he showed you his kingdom. A land with no palaces, no rules, only swore brothers and sisters that believed in each other's strength and power. They were equal in each eye, and all of them were ready to fight for each other. It felt right...

Sun Wukong had shown you to everyone with pride, calling you his precious one, the one that can heal with her hands. And even if he loved to braga about you to everyone, he had always shown respect and never forced you around. He wanted to praise you like he should, but he wanted you happy.

It was the first time in his life.

///

"My precious... I wonder...do any of those morsels up there ever tried to court you before?" He lay on the ground, enjoying your scratch on his head.

"Not at all, my Lord. They never looked me at all, and since I know you, they avoided me."

"It feels me with pride then! That I'm the only one that had the chance and the right to court you properly!"

"You...courting me, my lord?" Your cheeks took a crimson shade, embarrassed but yet intrigued.

"But...why me? Of all the matches, why me?"

"Because you had made something that a few had done, you had intrigued me." His hand taking yours, covering them in kisses, "so say yes, bye mine forever. Let's live in peace!"

And so, with a kiss on his lips, you accepted.

///

He did keep his promise; he defeated the immortals that had been sent to capture him. He forced him to find a new strategy, giving him what he wanted!

And most definitely, he decided to have you have his own. His wife, his precious wife, was the only one that he really cared to have by his side.

You wanted to be more—not for everyone to acknowledge you, but for him. Rakshasi had you as her disciple. She taught you, and she was able to unlock your true potential. And he knew, and he loved you for that.

When you both returned to the Celestial Palace, he wanted people to greet you both, but your hopes weren't so high.

In their eyes, you were still a servant, and he was still just a monkey. That was something that they would never stop seeing.

But you learned that respect should be earned, not given, so you stopped being the respectful one. If someone offended you, you responded, well, know that now not only your own fury was feared, but the one of your husbands too.

///

"My love, this is wrong!" You tried to convince him, whispering between the peach trees. "We shouldn't! We should guard the immortal peaches! Not eating them!"

"AH!" He picked another one, giving it a huge bite. "I'm the Guardian! Why shouldn't I? And those knuckles head Will never noticed of a few have been eaten, my dear." 

He extended the same peach, his mischievous eyes tempting you.

"You and I... We deserved more, my love. Why deny it?"

Yes, why? The immortals were never Just with both of you, that was the right payment that he deserved. Your mouth became full of the peach pulp, and soon the lips of the monkey claimed your now immortal ones.

You desecrated even the same soul of that orchad.

And soon, you both were meant to desecrate more.

///

When he learned from your former masters, the Seven Fairies, that you weren't invited to the banquet of the mother of the west, he was furious.

You were at his side when the Seven Maiden started to mock him and yourself.

"A stone monkey and his mate to the royal banquet? How absurd!"

"He can come and make a dance for us; she can serve us for sure!"

Their laugh was what enraged him the most. How dare they mock you in front of him?! How dare they make funny of the Great Sage wife?!

When the maidens were immobilized by his spell, by the look on his face, it was clear that he planned nothing but troubles.

When the two of you came in the Great All, he put everyone to sleep and then started to drink and eat everything that his eyes could possibly lay on.

"Wukong, this...this is not necessary! We should stop!"

"Stop?!" He looked at you, throwing away a cup full of wine. "They made me do it! They've never been fair to us! I won't stop! I refuse! Come, my beloved, let's drink and wine at their own expense! Let's feast! And when we're full, let's bring the rest to the children!"

And so you did; you drank and drank wine with him, uncertain of this action. The emperor... he would be enraged... but he was right, they treat you both poorly... still...

And so you drank, trying to put down your worries in the alcohol, afraid of the future. You tried to put at rest the fear. And so, Cup After Cup, you fell asleep. You didn't remember all; only your spouse brought you something shining in your mouth, with a huge grin on his face.

When you woke up, you were both back to your mountain, and your fear was true.

///

"I BEG YOU!" your head on the ground, like the first day you both met, "ask forgiveness! Do as they say! Don't bring your people to war! Do not harm them! Please!"

His swore brothers Look at you with pity while he keeps on looking at the thundering skies. He couldn't turn back down.

"My precious one, I refuse to beg for Mercy! I'll make them see what happens when they play against me!"

Then his eyes became gentle only when he looked at you. His hand cupped your face, looking at your crying eyes. How he hates to see your gorgeus face crying.

"Go with Who can't fight my beloved; stay with them! The world of war is not meant for you."

"If you refuse to beg for Mercy," you held his hands against your trembling chest, "then I'll fight with you."

///

And so you did; you did fight alongside him and his generals against the celestial army... but it wasn't enough.

Not against Erlang Shen.

When he was taken away, you were held hostage in the palace, forced to see the tortures and every plan to kill him. But in the world, nothing has ever worked.

When they put him in the Lao Tsu Trigram furnace, you thought they had lost him. No matter how much they torment you, no matter what pain, the thought of the loss of your husband was too. much to bear, but he wasn't dead; no, he became stronger.

Nothing could have beat him, and, for a moment, you really thought that he could become the new emperor...

But he played against more capable opponents.

///

You could still Hear him moving, struggling against the rock, gnawing at the mud, trying to get out and break free from the golden sigyl.

"You're hurting yourself more..."

"WAIT until I break free!"

"You won't..."

"Are you doubting me?! "

You get, starting to walk away, your cold expression couldn't even manage to hold his fiery eyes longer than a second.

"Where are you going?! Stop!"

"I'm going to find our people. They fled in the fight. I'll do what I can."

"We'll do it when I'll break free! WAIT!"

When you turned around, you were the one holding an enraged expression. Your fists were so tight that your hands were white, and your lovely (y/c) eyes were of a deep red color.

"I wanted you to stop! To reconsider it! But you didn't listen! We could have been happy and serene, but you... you just wanted more."

He wanted to scream back, but he heard it—your hiccups, your sobs.

"No, please! Don't cry! I can hold everything, but seeing you cry breaks me deeper." He struggled again to reach you, to console you, but another strike from the sigyl stopped him. You didn't want to hear him again; you just wanted to leave, and so you started to walk away again, ignoring his screams.

"PLEASE! I'll Fix Everything! I'LL DO IT! PRECIOUS ONE, PLEASE!"

///

As the seasons change, you change for the worst. You became something else.

Your power, once maid to help and protect, became cold like ice. Your colors disappear, pure white, like a ghost you became. You even started to forget your name.

With no one to come back, your people were hunted by the Celestials, abandoned, and hated by everyone. With no place to go, you became a demon.

For 500 years you prey on mortals, other demons, and such, until fate acts again and a monk and three pilgrims cross your path.

And your heart longed for two things: your husband and the flash of the Tang monk.

But your story was short-lived, you guessed. 

///

Wukong held you in his arms, your fragile body against him. You were like a child, deep in slumber, while your old color started to come back.

He did what he could; he suffered enough, all for one thing: a second chance for you.

He sensed your struggle in your sleep, his footsteps echoing in the depths of Mount Huaguo. 

"Shhhh...sleep..."

Yor hands grasped his tunic, feeling the rasp material under your finger.

"Wukong, I had... a dream."

"A Dream? It was good?"

"No, it was a nightmare. I did so many bad things... I hurt you and someone you care for."

He stayed silent, only holding you closer to him. "It was Just a Dream, my love...nothing more."

He laid you down on the altar, covering you with some furr. He stayed there, admiring your tired expression.

"Sleep now; when I'll be back, you'll tell me all."

"Where are you going?"

"...finish a job...but I'll come back soon, so do not fret. Your husband would never abandon you."

You smiled, feeling his lips caressing your forhead. You felt safer now; he would come back soon.

And so he closed the door made of rock of your secluded prison. A sygil, one similar to the one that he once had, and a spell made to you sleep.

He didn't noticed, but he started to weep while he was closing It.

///

He did it; he finished the job. He became Buddha; he obtained a position so secure that he could grant you and himself freedom.

But he was never meant to be free, wasn't he?

He wanted you out of this conflict; he tried to protect you, but you were so stubborn, so eager to protect the husband that had pulled you back from those 500 years of misery...and instead there you were, at the brink of death.

How ironic and unkind...

He felt something—a warm touch to his chest. Your palm emitted that kind light; you tried to use your power on him one more time. He held your hand and stopped you.

You were so tired and you looked at him. He seemed so tired...and yet he smiled.

It's fine. That's enough. No more.

In your last moment, you couldn't help but cry, sobbing, with one consolation of dying at his side.

He wanted to hold you close to him, tell you that everything would be okay, and not be scared because he was there with you. He could only caress your face, trying to stay closer to you, avoiding more pain from the arrows.

And while the divine light was ready to engulf you both, he prayed one last time.

He prays that, if his plan works out, to meet you again, to fix the mistakes of the past, and to tell you how much he love you one more time.

@sun-jglim @crimsonflameproxy @everlastingmoonlightsworld @biankanoir

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[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Fate - spin, measure, cut

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

🌙 Leon S. Kennedy x reader

Based on a request by @bat-yo-us 🫶🏻

《Content》: blood, injury, big feelings, Saddler being ew

After a sick twist of Fate, you're tossed into a nightmarish situation with your lover. Vows of protection and safety fall short when you're injured just to save his life.

Please support your creators with likes/comments/reblogs ♡

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A dull, pounding ache sat deep in your bones as you dragged your body further down the path of this hellhole.

You were exhausted, littered in bruises and cuts, and your head was starting to spin from the lack of hydration.

The mission was clear; rescue Baby Eagle and then get out of there as quickly as possible.

Neither you nor Leon had anticipated this to become a matter of days where you'd fight for your life and run from literal nightmares.

The Fates were cruel mistresses, and apparently, they took joy in making you suffer as Ashley was continuously ripped away from right under your nose.

You found her admirable and strong, handling this situation better than you did.

Maybe it was the adrenaline and the survival instinct that kept her going. Whatever it was, you needed a whole dose of it.

You were a medic officer, only sent to take care of any of Ashley's potential injuries on the flight back, not run from Infected, giants, and mutated assholes that wouldn't shut up about their God.

Leon, on the other hand, treated it like just another Tuesday, something that both impressed you and pissed you off beyond belief.

You knew what he'd seen and that this probably was just another Tuesday for him, something that never failed to make your heart ache for him.

But now, under the circumstances, you were forced to pick up a weapon.

You needed to protect yourself. Leon couldn't keep both you and Ashley safe, and no matter how harsh it sounded, she was the important one.

A faint feeling of safety returned when you took the elevator deep into the castle, reaching the Merchant's shooting range.

You slid down the wall and sat on the floor, a sigh of relief slipping past your lips while Leon practiced his aim on the wooden pirates.

You watched him closely, his concentrated expression and slightly narrowed eyes, down to his stance and how the muscles flexed in his bicep.

Maybe you could've enjoyed the sight if your doom wasn't hot on your tail.

It was like the Moirai were watching from above, Atropos sharpening her scissors with a sinister smile while Lachesis measured the string that was your life only to end it in a second whenever they pleased.

The weight of it all lay heavy on your shoulders, a feeling of dread that's been in the pit of your stomach since the beginning, only sinking deeper into your insides.

"It's your turn. Come on." Leon said, holding out his gloved hand to you.

You snapped out of your thoughts with a small 'huh?', your brain needing a second to catch up. He saw the distant and glazed over look in your eyes, and to say it didn't worry him would be a lie.

You weren't made for this.

Hell, neither was he (was anyone?), but he learned to deal with it. But you weren't supposed to see this.

Your job was saving lives, nursing them back to health with a comforting, almost matronly smile on your lips, not take them, no matter how lost or corrupt.

His heart cracked.

He became an Agent to protect innocent people from nightmares like this, yet here you were, the most important aspect of his life, the one that delicately held his heart, subjected to all the horror he tried to shield you from.

"I'll teach you how to use a gun without hurting yourself and to really hurt someone else." He smirked, although it didn't reach his eyes.

You only managed a pathetic laugh but took his hand anyway. Leon pulled you off the ground and led you to the correct position at the shooting range, angling your stance with his hands on your hips.

The simple touch made you want to melt into his arms and forget everything you'd witnessed the last few days.

"Alright," he sighed, his chest pressed to your back while he shoved one of his guns into your hands, "hold it like this, you don't want to hurt your fingers. Now, tighten your muscles, lock your elbows and don't forget about the recoil. And aim, obviously." Leon huffed a half-hearted laugh.

You mumbled a quick affirmation and exhaled, steadying your hands before locking your eyes on the wooden pirate and pulling the trigger.

The sound, along with the recoil, made you flinch. Pain shot from your wrists up to your shoulders. Out of instinct, you dropped the gun and rubbed at your sore hands.

"Jesus Christ.." you muttered.

"It's pretty hefty. Are you alright?" Leon asked softly, a comforting hand resting on your back.

"Yeah, it just caught me off guard." You chuckled awkwardly, swallowing thickly.

"No worries. Let's try again." He gave you a small smile and gently placed the weapon back into your hands.

You felt a tense feeling crawl up your spine, a feeling that often led you to being overstimulated, hoping the world would just go quiet for a moment.

You tried again anyway, pushing down any discomfort that bubbled up. Leon was breathing down your neck. He was caging you in and mumbling corrections and tips into your ear.

Those things were usually very welcome, but right now, they were driving you up the wall.

The gunshot was too loud, the recoil made the marrow in your bones shake, and all of his touches were only cutting more at the thin string of your sanity.

Your bullets kept missing, whizzing past the wooden decals as they mockingly stared you in the face.

The frustration was unbearable as you gritted your teeth. You aimed at their faces very clearly.

How come you still hadn't hit a single shot?

Leon sighed, tugging at your arms to bring them in a better position.

A position that didn't help at all.

"No- not like that. I already told you, you need to-"

"No, stop!" You snapped, flinging the gun out of your hands and shoving him off of you.

"I can't- I don't want to do this. Any of this!" You said loudly, your arms moving as you spoke while Leon only stared at you in mild shock.

"It's okay, everyone misses, you'll get it eventually. You just need to try again." He tried to encourage you with a lopsided smile but it only fueled the raging fire.

"I don't want to try again! It's not happening, okay?! This isn't my job, I wasn't trained for this- you were! The only thing I was supposed to do was make sure Ashley, and you, were okay on the flight back home. And now, I'm stuck in a literal nightmare where even the fucking dogs want to eat me and I can't catch a break!" You yelled, tears welling in your eyes as all of your emotions spilled out of you.

"Not to mention that I already feel useless as it is, and you feel the need to drill me like-like I'm some stupid soldier, telling me all the things I'm doing wrong as if I don't know them myself!" You heaved, angrily wiping at the tears that managed to fall from your lashline.

Leon watched with a frown as everything unraveled and you fell apart at the seams.

"I... I hate this. I don't want to keep running and fighting only to keep falling on my ass. I wasn't made for this! If it wasn't for you, I would've given up already and I'd be dead." You spit the words his way and he couldn't tell if it was an accusation or not.

"I'm tired and hungry and disgusting and scared and.... I just want to go home." You didn't stop the sob that ripped from your chest as it all came down, the horrors of the last few days fresh in your mind.

You hated the dirt and blood that was caked under your fingernails. You hated how you reeked of sweat and guts. You hated how your throat felt dry and your stomach twisted in hunger.

And right now, you hated him, too. You hated how resilient he was, how he managed to pull through even when there was no easy way out.

Perhaps it was jealousy that you couldn't be like that. The thought only made you cry harder because it wasn't true. You didn't hate Leon, not at all.

You loved him. You loved him so much that it hurt sometimes, but the world was a cruel place that somehow managed to pit you against him.

Leon looked helpless and stunned as you wailed, screaming your throat sore. These days would change your life forever, and only for the worst.

He could feel an uncomfortable pull in his chest, and he swallowed thickly, his head hanging low.

With each heart-shattering cry, you could feel the exhaustion take over as all your strength you had left was drained.

Leon felt ashamed, in a sense, that he hadn't taken care of you better.

You were right.

You were never supposed to be here, to see and live through any of this.

He had made the mistake of thinking your mind was like his, that you were like him.

But you weren't, and that's why he loved you.

You were the moon in his pitch-black night, giving him your sacred light to guide him to safety.

You were the sun that filled his days with joy, making the flowers bloom as your warmth tickled his skin.

You were the stars that would keep him company on a lonely evening, sparkling with love as he wondered what fascinating tales could be behind them.

You were his everything, and he had failed you.

Without a word, he pulled you into his arms, delicately cupping the back of your head as he held you against his chest.

All you could do was weep into his shirt, trusting him to catch you if your knees were to give out.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled into the crown of your head, following it with a soft kiss.

His lips moved to your forehead, gently holding your face. Your sobs had quieted down to sniffles, gasps for air and soft cries as he wiped the tears from your cheeks and the snot from your nose.

Your arms were tightly wound around his middle.

"I'm sorry for not protecting you better. I'm sorry for thinking you were like me. Ashley might be important to the government, but you're important to me. And I will make sure we get home. I promise you I'll keep you safe." He spoke softly, gently stroking his thumb over your cheekbone.

You sniffled at his heartfelt words and and rested your forehead against his sternum.

"Thank you. Thank you for being you. Even if you're reckless and care way too much about others and it makes me want to lovingly kick your ass." You giggled wetly, followed by yet another sniffle as you wiped at your nose.

Leon huffed laugh, a soft smile gracing his lips.

"Thank you for allowing me to be the way I am." He responded gently, wrapping you up in his arms once again as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

You sunk into his embrace, a soft sigh slipping past your lips.

"I love you." You mumbled into his chest.

"I love you more."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Your face dropped when Saddler twisted and contorted, limbs breaking while new, insectoid ones sprouted from odd parts of his body.

You watched in horror as he turned into a grotesque mutation of legs and eyes. You thought it was over. A foolish thing to think on your part. You should've expected this. After Méndez, and Ramón. Bile rose in your throat at the sight.

No matter how horrifying this was, his salvation didn't help him in the looks department.

You watched, heart pounding, as Leon threw himself into the thick of it, literally.

You stood back at a distance, doing your best to help him out with your mediocre shots. You managed to hit what you assumed was his knee now sporting a sickly looking eye.

His leg buckled and a scream ripped from his chest.

The fear that rushed through you when Saddler, or what was left of him, stared right at you with his disgusting eye was something you never wished to feel again.

The look was bone-chilling, your breath catching in your throat as you came face to face with the abyss that was the black pupil of his eyeball. Suddenly, you snapped back with a gasp, and your instincts kicked in.

You ran like you've never run before, your boots a heavy sound against the metal grate beneath your feet while your muscles burned.

From the corner of your vision, you could spot Leon with a determined scowl on his face while he continued to fill Saddler with mag after mag, hoping the lead would seep deep into his bones. Your lungs hurt as you sprinted away from Saddler.

You gulped heaves of air, hoping to get more oxygen to your muscles. Your one mistake, however, was slightly turning your head to look how far he was behind you.

He was hot on your tail, moving in an uncanny manner.

Like a broken toy, the mechanism jumbled.

One of his insectoid limbs hurled your way, your eyes widened, and in the split of a second, you threw yourself to a lower platform to evade his attempt on your life.

The air was knocked from you and pain shot up your nerves as you harshly hit the metal. You groaned and rolled onto your back, holding your side that would surely bloom in shades of blue and purple come morning.

If the morning ever came.

Leon's head snapped towards the noise and a bellowing call of your name made you turn to look at him. As best as you could, anyway.

He fed Saddler a few more bullets until he was stunned, collapsed in on himself while he spat illegible curses Leon's way, before running in your direction. You'd managed to get yourself to sit up but your gun was knocked out of your hand when you landed on the grate.

The ground shook beneath you as Leon jumped to your level, the steel bending under his weight.

He was beside you in an instant, pulling you up with a steady hand on your back.

"Are you okay?" He heaved, a worried crease between his brows.

Breathing hurt, you'd surely cracked a rib or two if they weren't broken.

"Y-Yeah, I'm good..." You forced out with a very unconvincing smile.

He gave you a sharp nod.

"Stay behind me-"

"WATCH OUT!" You yelled, watching in horror as Saddler came at the both of you with one of his pointy legs.

It was headed right for Leon, a fatal blow if you didn't act now. With only one thing on your mind, you smashed into him, pushing him out of the way as he fell with a grunt, the cling of metal echoing through the heavy air.

You had no time to get away yourself, so you were the victim of Saddler's attack as the spiny point of his limb pierced your abdomen.

It was a hot and agonizing pain as you sacked to your knees with a blood curdling scream. A raw and desperate scream erupted from Leon's chest as he watched the horror unfold in front of him.

His worst nightmare was now realer than it ever was in any of his dreams.

Everything became blurry as you desperately tried to stop your blood from spilling out of you. The crimson liquid spilled between your fingers.

You could barely make out Leon's silhouette as he heaved himself off the ground to reach you, only to be flung across the platforms by Saddler until he hit one of the metal railings with an unsettling noise.

It was like your head was wrapped in cotton, all sounds muffled as you tried to keep your eyes open.

Your breathing became shallow, and your fingertips felt cold as they slowly numbed. You could make out Saddler's taunting remarks and a kneeling Leon that had a rage in his eyes like you've never seen it before.

Your consciousness was slipping away from you, a hand still firmly pressed to the wound on your stomach even as your remaining strength was fading away.

You blinked away salty tears from your burning vision, touching your wet cheek only to leave behind a red stain.

"Leon.." You breathed out before your eyes rolled into the back of your head, and your arms fell slack to your side.

Leon's eyes burned with tears as he watched your form go limp, a sharp tug in his chest. With a newfound determination, he picked himself up, tightly gripping Saddler's staff before driving it into his large eye with a chilling scream, watching as all the grotesque lies spilled from him.

"So much for your salvation." He spat bitterly, burying one of his throwing knives right in the middle of Saddler's forehead for good measure.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The next thing you knew you were envolped by a comforting warmth, strong arms holding you like so many times before, muffled promised whispered into your ear, the delicate stroke of a calloused thumb on your cheek and chapped lips pressed tenderly to your temple.

Your vision was dark still, only a faint string of consciousness making you aware enough to pick up on the familiar sound of helicopter blades.

Relief settled in your bones.

You'd done it. Well, Leon had, really.

Ashley was safe, Leon was safe, Saddler was gone. That was all that mattered. Your part was done.

You'd leave it to the Moirai whether to cut your string or to deem you worthy enough so Clotho would keep spinning it.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Leon was a mess.

Red, bloodshot eyes with dark circles beneath them as he sat by your side tightly grasping your hand in his.

He hadn't slept in days, keeping himself awake with unhealthy amounts of shitty hospital coffee.

The only time he'd gone home- your shared home- was to shower and get a few things for you. And that only happened because Hunnigan was stubborn and persistent.

You looked so peaceful, a soft expression on your face as you took shallow breaths. You had all kinds of wires and tubes connecting you to various machines, but at least you could breathe on your own.

You were lucky, really, the surgeons had said the blow narrowly missed your spine. You were alive. You were stable, and the doctors were positive you'd make a full recovery.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that this had happened on his watch. He had promised to keep you safe, to protect you, and he'd failed once again.

The moment he saw you laying there limp, blood gushing from your abdomen, it felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest. That image would play in his mind over and over again until he died.

Leon sniffled and wiped a stray tear from his lashline, his thumb caressing your knuckles.

He didn't want to think of that horrible moment, but it was like that was all he could see when he looked at you. Your beautiful and angelic face now tainted with a horrific memory.

His hand found your cheek, cupping it gently.

"You're so stupid. So, so stupid. But if you wouldn't have been, I guess that would be me right now." He chuckled sadly, wiping at his nose.

"I wish it was." He mumbled, a heavy sigh following.

"Come back to me.." he whispered, his voice giving out as he brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face.

Leon pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before he left with a heavy heart, promising he'd be back tomorrow.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

He grew accustomed to the harsh white lights and the sterile smell of the hospital.

He looked terrible.

Sleep hadn't come easy to him, especially not on the ratty couch in your apartment that you'd wanted to replace for ages now.

Leon refused to sleep in your bed without you- not when you were in that horrible hospital fighting for your life.

He resorted to wrapping one of your shirts around his pillow, hoping it would give him the bit of comfort he so desperately craved, only to stain it with his tears.

The halls seemed to glum around him as he made his way to your room, rounding the corners with a familiar ease.

He took a deep breath as he stood in front of the door, collecting himself.

Leon was falling apart every time he left the hospital. Sobbing and crying in the shower, praying to whoever was up there to not take you from him, too.

He grasped the door handle and stepped inside, only for his world to stop for a second when he gazed upon you, awake, sitting up in the bed, laughing with a nurse.

The color had returned to your face, your eyes had that sparkle back that he loved so much, and your smile was enough to mend the tears in his heart.

He must've made a startled noise, his eyes wide and lips parted when the nurse turned to look at him with a soft expression.

You followed her gaze only to have tears welling in your eyes at the state of Leon.

"Leon." You choked out, shuffling to sit at the edge of the bed, dressed in one of his comfortable sweaters.

Any of the nurse's concerns fell on deaf ears as you opened your arms for him with a pleading look and glistening eyes.

His startled expression fell, replaced by a feeling of relief washing over him as a sob escaped his chest and he rushed over to you, falling to his knees and wrapping you up in his arms as carefully as he could.

Leon rested his head against your sternum, listening to the steady beat of your heart as he cried in your embrace.

You joined him, weeping as you gently stroked his sandy locks, your cheek pressed to the top of his head.

The nurse slipped out of the room promptly and quietly, leaving the two of you to let out all the overwhelming feelings that sat inside your chest.

"I thought I'd lost you..." he cried, slightly tightening his grip.

"I'd never leave you." You hiccuped, gently pulling his face from your chest, a wet patch on the fabric.

The pain and fear in his baby blues was enough to break your heart.

"No more crying, this is supposed to be a happy moment." You chuckled wetly, wiping his cheeks with the sleeves of your sweater.

"Sorry, I just-.. you're okay." He smiled sadly, cupping your cheeks.

"I'm okay." You nodded with a small smile.

He sighed heavily, resting his forehead against yours.

"I was so scared, I-"

"Shhh, it's alright. I'm okay, you're okay. A little roughed up, but nothing we can't handle." You spoke gently, nuzzling your nose with his.

Leon nodded and swallowed. He let out a shaky breath.

"You're right. I'm just glad you're alive." You smiled softly.

"So am I." You breathed out contently, letting your eyes fall shut in comfort.

"I love you." Leon whispered, his arms loosely wrapped around your middle, minding your bandaged stomach.

"I love you more." You replied with a soft giggle, pressing your lips to his in a gentle kiss. He sighed against your lips, one of his hands moving to cup your face. You pulled away with a soft smile.

"And another thing." You said quietly, making a puzzled expression take over his face.

"I quit." You said with a chuckle, pulling a laugh from him.

To see his face light up like that and to witness the dullness in his eyes vanish made your heart swell.

"I'll put in your notice with Hunnigan." He smiled, sniffling as he stroked your cheek.

You nodded with a giggle.

You let him climb into bed with you, snuggling into his chest so he could catch up on all the sleep he's lost.

You couldn't help but smile when you heard him snore softly, his breathing steady. You let yourself slip into sleep as well, giving your body the rest it needed to heal all while you were safely in his arms.

Perhaps the Sisters had deemed you worthy enough; Clotho was still working her spindel with skilled hands, Lachesis was carefully and delicately measuring your string and Atropos was taking her time polishing her scissors to a sparkling shine, so the blades would be sharp to cut your golden thread when the times was right.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Let me know your thoughts!! 😊✨️

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[ghouldtime]

*slides into the DMS*

S O. What does social anxiety for König look like through your fantastic characterization then? 👀

(Love your Alone operator series btw. Got me on the edge of my seat with each chapter!!)

(Thank you!! 💚💚💚 I'm so glad you're enjoying :D you all have been so so sweet with it and Im over the MOON so many people have liked it)

To answer this question I'm going to have to be a biiig yapper and explain why I think of him the way I do

Going to say this to start, but I'm going with the true fact that König is indeed diagnosed with social anxiety - anything else I'm saying is based off of my personal interpretation of how he acts in game as a disclaimer

I'm also going to state that personally, the König I write is in his lower to mid 40's. Sorry not sorry, I don't see him as a young dude. Especially not when it's pretty much agreed upon that he's a colonel. So he's had a SIGNIFICANT amount of life experience, and a significant amount of time to work on himself and have introspection.

To me, it makes the most sense that he was diagnosed with social anxiety earlier on in his childhood since it was significantly more obvious when he was younger. Something that severe wasn't unnoticed by those around him because some of them did care about him. It's also stated he's suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life so that's how I took it.

I personally go with he grew up in a more rural town in his homeland of Austria, which meant there weren't exactly others around during the first few years. "Go play with the neighbors kids" didn't really work when there weren't neighbors around. It was mainly him and his parents and an occasional relative over.

What could be brushed off as initial shyness clearly couldn't be anymore when he finally was enrolled in school.

Even on the first day when it's "introduce yourself to everyone", he fucked that up so monumentally it'll be engraved forever in his hall of shameful memories that he thinks about late at night. School was an utter nightmare, quite frankly, from moment one. The whole situation was too much, too stressful, and too different from the life he had at home. He flat out refused to get up and present in front of the class and wouldn't talk in group projects just for the fear of embarrassing himself. At that time, he was hitting all the indicators for social anxiety like they're the targets he shoots at today.

He missed out on a lot of interaction with other kids initially because of how awkward he was - and having any form of anxiety never helps in social situations. Talking to others wasn't something that came naturally and his own panic amplified it tenfold. Most times, he'd either pretend he didn't hear them, avoid them, or stray as far to the edge of the group as possible to avoid it. Unfortunately this made him an easy target because kids are RUTHLESS and turned him into even more outcast as well which only worsened it.

School always sucked for him due to that, despite the fact that he was a smart kid. No amount of smarts could save you from social persecution when you had nearly no social skills to boot. [ side note but I'm dying on the hill that he's incredibly intelligent and has a bachelors degree (at the very least)].

His parents kept him in therapy to help him manage because without it, he'd be back at square one refusing to go to school and faking a cold just to get out of it. And of course, therapy is a very important tool when it comes to healing, coping, and managing severe mental disorders. The whole reason why he doesn't show such bad anxiety anymore is because he kept the skills he learned and applies them so much that it becomes his second nature.

He's had at least 35 years of this, he's good enough to mask and to keep up his facade.

Another part of why he doesn't show it nearly as much is because he joined the military and was thrown through the wringer with it. Being bullied for so long was a major motivator for joining in the first place, as he needed something to get away from the peers who tormented him so and he needed a new life where he wasn't known as target #1. But he ALSO wanted to gain actual confidence and more certainty in himself.

Joining the military really means you're not left with such things as many choices when it comes to anxiety in social situations. You're forced into quarters with others, have to work side-by-side, do nearly everything together, so on and so forth. He knew that going in but at that point for him it was like extreme exposure therapy, the last step he needed to really put everything he learned in therapy to work.

That doesn't mean he didn't suffer or loved it. No, it was terrible, intense, and nerve-wracking. But he wouldn't have done it otherwise if he didn't want that. Being in the military didn't give him the leeway to avoid what made him anxious, it taught him to face it head on and fight.

Now that he's up there in age and has considerable more experience (and leeway with having a higher rank), the ways he expresses it [look at me finally answering the question] are more subtle.

On the field, you're likely not going to notice it. Because that's him turning the little auto pilot switch in his mind to on when he has a job. The job is his focus and everything has been so engrained in his mind that it's muscle memory. He's, quite frankly, focused on not dying and getting any job done over himself. The joking you often hear him do and taunting alike is part of how he's expressing the confidence he feels when he's in his element, when he KNOWS what he is doing.

If you look closely or approach him off the field, however, it's another story. He usually tenses or straightens himself out when people approach and will hold that until they leave (unless they're someone who he truly knows). Many assume that's a taught habit of the military, but that's only half-true. He did that before then.

Unlike when he's working, he doesn't have a guide or things he knows he has to do in a specific order to best ensure survival - no matter how much talking to other people feels like the heat of the battle, you can't (legally) solve it with a gun or throw a frag and book it out of there. There's no true guide to social interactions and that stresses him out. There's no manual, no field guide, no ten step card on how to successfully navigate them.

He knows things that are normal to say, he knows sometimes what he should say - it's just a matter of finding the phrasing and how to say them. Yet it seems like whenever someone doesn't follow his pre-programmed line of thought when it comes to their talking, his mind can shut down and go blank as he stares, trying to figure out where to go or what to say (spoiler: it usually doesn't end well).

He's usually awkward to talk to because he's running over everything in his head as he tries to think of what best to say to avoid further interactions or ones that could be more targeting to him. And, as mentioned, he lacks the average set of social skills that plenty learn in childhood because he didn't have that proper socialization. He's also still not the best at talking itself and can be blunt and to-the-point, which also doesn't usually go down well.

Not to mention, he's bad at small talk and has a terrible, sarcastic sense of humor that many can't read and it quickly turns things uncomfortable very fast because everyone takes him seriously. It never helps he usually doesn't explain himself all too well, usually leaving it as is as he secretly wishes he didn't talk at all when mortification sets in. Hurrying away with an excuse of some paperwork or something else to busy himself is his go-to after those.

When possible, he'll avoid small-talk and greatly prefers gestures instead. Someone who can appreciate his greater need for silence and a lack of talking is someone who he will greatly appreciate in turn. He's a firm believer that not all silences are uncomfortable and sometimes, it IS best not to say anything at all.

Due to his childhood too, he's not really fond of being around many people and will do his best to avoid it. Unless he has to grin and bare it, he won't. He finds his mind calmest when he can just be himself without having to worry about saying the right things to appease others or to be friendly. That way he can focus on what he wants, think how he wants, and feels how he wants without second guessing himself or having to worry about existing.

He's going to avoid most public settings when possible. Though he can now suitably manage his anxiety, they're something he passes up on. Grocery store trips are something he does maybe once a week or two, if that - stock piling so he has to go to the store less is his usual strategy. Anything he can do himself, he WILL do himself, if he doesn't have a trusted person who can do it better or can help.

Notably, he also doesn't have many friends. He's like talking to a brick wall and unless you're considerably persistent and understanding of his need for space, you won't get far. A lot of people don't have the time nor patience for it, but if you do get close to him, he does come out of his shell. He appreciates anyone who cares enough to actually get close to him and get to know him despite how awkward he can be, and will be loyal to the end because of that.

Another side effect is that he doesn't sleep well. Between the massive amounts of trauma from his job and the trauma from his childhood, he doesn't sleep well as is. But the social anxiety aspect comes into play because many nights, his mind is rerunning all the interactions he's had as he chronically overthinks them. He always wonders what he could've done, how he could've improved, and what they're thinking of him (even if they're someone he may never run into again). Its very hard for him to shut his mind off and doing such usually requires him drowning everything else and making himself not think about that, or anything, any more.

[Another side note: He's an avid reader. Reading gives him new things to think about and can help put him to sleep, especially before bed. It's a good way for him to stop thinking about whatever was nagging him and shifts his mind into thinking about other things he enjoys instead)

Basically, IN SHORT this isn't my full in-depth detailed characterization of exactly who I think he is - the reason he's not presenting it as an anxious ball of pure energy who is so uwu shy and soft is because he is incredibly well-managed with his severe social anxiety at his age and that's uh, just not him. Social anxiety doesn't mean he's a blubbering mess or will cry at the slightest inconvenience and reducing him to that or treating anyone with social anxiety like they're a child because of it does not help at alllll.

He's had extensive therapy for this, he's got his methods, he can mask very well. He's a WHOLE GROWN MAN who is responsible for not only his actions but how he manages his emotions and he knows it. But if you know him and know what to look for, you'll be able to pick it up.

(Also the sheer amount of scenarios I've seen where people think he just would... cry if you took his mask off??? Him???? HIM???? König, "I can make you talk, where are they?" the skilled PMC operator? That one? That guy? Yeah no, anyone dumb enough to do that better have signed their will prior or hopefully has an intensive love for scrubbing all the floors with a single old toothbrush. He won't tolerate people harassing or hustling him or pressing on his nerves. Sure, it reminds him of his childhood bullies, but quite frankly that behavior as grown adults trying that is RIDICULOUS, it pisses him off and immediately lowers his opinion on them.)

To whoever made it this far, I hope this made sense, I took melatonin before I got the ask so I'm in another realm right now LMAO. König is one of my favorites and was the first character I realllly really loved and I just hate seeing him done so dirty. Especially as someone with severe social anxiety myself, it irritates me when it's portrayed just so... wrong and quite frankly, in a lazy, offensive manner lacking any nuance especially in relation to the character who has it. Like just making him stutter and cry isn't all social anxiety is and there's SO much depth and things to work with despite the... actual substance as far as his bio goes

[sitp-recs]

Between the Power Lines by @tackytigerfic (M, 3k)

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy. Or: this is not an AU! It's just Harry and Draco meeting by chance in an imported food shop in Connecticut and going on a road trip together. Featuring motels, cacti, Americana, and a hefty dose of pining.

In New Orleans, they got drunk on Bourbon Street, and Malfoy danced on his own (arms bare, laughing; Harry could have watched him all night) and later on, so late it was almost morning, they let themselves into the St Louis Cemetery—Malfoy unpicking the lock so sweetly—and walked around until the sky was pink-edged with the promise of another day’s heat. Then they sat on the steps of a crypt, watched over by sightless eyes of the statue of an angel. She looked exhausted rather than sad, Harry thought, and that made a lot of sense when he thought about his own longstanding, dull-edged grief.

It’s been ages (or 2 years) since I last wrote a rec for Tacky (I usually write for other readers, except when I’m reccing friends - then I write for them) and their birthday was the perfect excuse to put my reccing muscles back to work. I almost bailed out because I know this is one of T’s own faves and “what if I don’t do it justice?” but that tired angel banner has been sitting in my drafts for 3 long years and it deserves a proper rec!

Where to even begin? Anyone who knows Tacky is aware of their superb prose - rich and nuanced, compassionate, effortlessly funny, with a strong sense of place and a soft spot for suds scenes and filthy m-rated sex I mean devastating romance. Their writing breathes heart and personality, very much like Tacky themself. So knowing that this fic came out exactly as they intended it to should be enough to make you go read this right now, but in case you need further incentive, see below all the reasons why this oneshot is so special to me:

1. The *vibes*: if you thought that 3k is nowhere near enough to build the sexiest, most intriguing Americana atmosphere you’ve seen, think again. The aesthetics are impeccable here, decorating the beautiful and strange landscape - cacti and cheap motels included - into something peaceful and desolate, an overarching melancholy making it even more compelling. The dialogue is brilliant but the silences are just as loud and meaningful, with a quiet intimacy and a dreamlike quality that make you feel as if you're intruding a memory.

2. The romance: at this point everyone and their dog know that pining!Harry is Tacky's jam - they luxuriate in making us all suffer with him until the realization that Draco has been loving him back all along slaps us in the face. Harry is so stupid and desperate and wanton, I love it. And the way Tacky reinvents this delicious trope to make it work in new angsty ways blows my mind. Imo the slow burn is particularly effective here, a feat in any 3k story, because the narrative gives us so much character insight. We learn all the little things that make these two lonely boys tick as we watch their ever-changing perception of each other evolve from a tentative truce to reluctant confidants to a comfortable, easy love that comes naturally and earned. We often get those bits of information from imagery and emotions alone, no dialogue needed, and a road trip is the best way to explore those dynamics in a smooth, unhurried pace.

3. The journey: this is truly an immersive journey, not only physical as we keep jumping from one destination to the next, but also emotional, as we learn more about their vulnerabilities and desires the more they gravitate towards each other. This story shows that being far away from home can be both freeing and grounding, when you’re stuck with your hot enemy someone who knows about your darkest hour. It gives you the chance to heal and visualize a different future without forgetting your past or letting go of that which has shaped who you are. I love their chance encounter and how this poignant 30k love story is told in such impressive economy of words.

TL;DR: if you’re a short form fan and prone to melancholy like me believe me when I say it doesn’t get any better than this. The whole road trip shebang mixing grief, romance and nostalgia wrapped in Tacky’s lush writing is a gift to any reader and an elegant work of art. Enjoy!!!

[monsoon-of-art]

Little Writing thing, wanted to write some Hayday, but from the perspective of Xavier, his Ray-Of-Sunshine coworker at a grocery store.

Xavier really wasn’t sure what to make of his new coworker. Sure, Mister Murphy was going on about needing a cashier, and Xavier was a little happy to have another dude to hang with, there was just…something about Lee.

His name was Lee. Or, at least that’s what he liked to be called. Mister Murphy began saying a name starting with a “C”, but Lee was quick to speak over him. Lee was fine.

Lee was…strange. For starters he was tall as anything, and he grimaced when Xavier tried to crack a joke about it. Maybe he had heard that one before. Lee was tall and pale, had green eyes (with very dark circles around them) and dirty-blonde hair about the length of his shoulders.

Tangerine playfully asked if he cut it himself, and Lee - without any hint of sarcasm - nodded.

Xavier was more than happy to train the man, showing him how to clock in, where his locker was, where the cash registers were stored, how to set up his till, all standard practice.

(He swore he saw Lee’s hands twitch when he opened the safe with the registers inside. Maybe he was nervous at handling them, and Xavier wouldn’t blame him one bit.)

Lee had been silent on his first day, save for a nod or a shake of the head. But by the end of the day, he thanked Xavier for the help, and the man had the thickest southern accent he had ever heard.

Xavier tried to crack a lighthearted joke about the accent, earning himself only a sneer. He had probably heard that one too.

Soon enough, Lee settled in well enough.

He was…a little strange. Xavier wasn’t quite sure what to think of him.

He was skittish, jumpy almost. He barely smiled, and when he did, they were hesitant, tight-lipped smirks. Xavier had only heard him laugh once, a downright sinister sounding snicker when Tangerine tried to do a tiktok dance on the table and fell. He was helpful to customers and to the other coworkers, but the moment he was on break, Lee wasn’t going to let anything stop him from taking it. He drank coffee like a fish drank water, and Xavier had never ever seen him bring a lunch, but Lee was happy to ‘take care’ of products that couldn’t be sold.

Xavier thought of his level thirteen Harengon rogue in his current campaign when he thought of Lee. He was definitely jumpy like a rabbit, and he definitely had some rogue-like qualities.

Mister Murphy locked himself out of the office one morning, and Lee quietly offered to pick the lock on the condition he got to leave with a full day’s pay and zero questions.

Mister Murphy had called bullshit, and truthfully, so did Xavier. But Lee pulled something out of his pocket and picked the lock then and there.

And immediately walked out.

Lee was…a mystery. Xavier couldn’t help but think of the mystery campaign he ran two winters ago, where the key to solving it was learning more about the mansion’s mysterious owner. But this wasn’t his campaign, and Lee stubbornly remained closed off.

Xavier had tried; he tried all the jokes he knew, he tried inviting him to places afterwork, he even extended a seat in one of his Dungeons and Dragons campaigns, offering a freshly written half-elf rogue just for Lee.

Lee rejected all of his efforts. He rejected everyone else, too; Joy offering him to join her book club (a thinly veiled ask to make him do work around the house, something that Xavier had fallen for), Tangerine asking him to do tiktoks with her, even Hannah had sheepishly asked him for drinks after work.

“‘m busy.” he’d say sipping from his seventh cup of coffee. (Yes, Xavier had counted.)

“With whaaaat?” Tangerine asked, leaning closer. “What do you even do after work? You’re always in such a hurry to leave.”

“Not important.” Lee continued to deflect, free hand tapping on the table. By now, Xavier knew he did this when he was nervous. “Man’s allowed his privacy.”  

“Right you are!” Xavier cheerfully agreed, giving Lee a good-natured slap on the shoulder. “We only bug you because we’re curious, dude.”

Lee gave him an unimpressed glare over the rim of his coffee cup.

A strange development happened a few weeks later. The newspaper had arrived, with details on a relatively new villain that had begun to stalk the city streets at night. Updates on villains wasn’t anything out of the ordinary…but this new villain gave Xavier the creeps.

This villain had yet to identify themselves, had yet to make a grand, dramatic speech about their goals or wants. For all the city knew, this new villain robbed places blind, and had tried to kill Dragonfly the very first night they appeared.

The papers were calling it ‘the Scarecrow’. Xavier wondered if the thing was even human, he certainly didn’t think so. Gaunt and lanky with patchwork clothes and a wide-brimmed hat, looking like it had walked right out of a horror movie with the scythe it held.

Luckily, the papers weren’t on his checkstand. Xavier honestly didn’t know if he would be able to handle it.

They were on Lee’s checkstand, though, and the poor guy looked shaken up about it. White as a sheet, one hand covering his mouth while the other anxiously tapped on the counter. Sure, Lee was jumpy, but Xavier had never seen him like this before. Not even when he broke a bottle of wine and Mister Murphy called him into the back office to reprimand him.

“Oh, dude, Lee-” Xavier started to say, voice sympathetic. “-I’m sorry you got those on your checkstand. I wouldn’t be able to handle it- That thing gives me the heebie jeebies, man.”

Lee’s eyes darted over to him, wide and frantic. He cracked a nervous smile, half-covered by his hand, “I-It’s just a man in a suit, ain’t it?” he asked, voice cracking. The tapping grew louder and faster. “H-He hasn’t hurt n-nobody…”

Xavier winced, hissing through his teeth. “I dunno man. I heard it like- eats people’s hearts? Or something like that!”

That’s what one article hypothesized, anyway. The author was a little far-fetched, but she was the only one coming up with actual ideas. Her theory was that the scarecrow had been brought to life by some kind of ritual, and now sought precious gemstones for its master, and blood to keep itself satiated.

Lee’s entire demeanor changed. Now, he looked at the man as if Xavier had suddenly started speaking Russian backwards. “...yer not serious.” he said, sounding completely unamused.

“Yeah man! Blood rituals! That’s what I heard. It’s kind of like an encounter in the Curse of Strahd-”

“I need to open my till now.” Lee cut him off firmly, heavily implying he was done with this conversation.

Xavier watched him for the rest of the shift, worried. Lee didn’t smile once that day, and his hands shook when he’d hand bags of groceries to customers.

Lee had somehow become even more withdrawn afterwards. He barely spoke, and he looked even more tired than usual. 

This puzzled Xavier. Lee had never reacted this way to other villains in the newspaper. Maybe he was just scared and didn't want to talk about it. Toxic masculinity was a hell of a thing, and Xavier gave Lee his space, encouraging the others to do the same.

Once the newspapers were replaced, he slowly started acting as he usually did. His weird, closed-off, usual self.

During a slow day, Tangerine grabbed the TV remote from Mister Murphy’s office. “Guys, guys, Dragonfly’s on the news!” she shouted, turning up the volume to the little television on the corner of the ceiling.

Seeing their city’s Superhero during the day was a rare sight. It looked like she was fighting a giant robot of some kind, the news report barely able to film the fight.

“Ooh, I hope that’s far from us.” muttered Joy, pretending to sweep as she watched.

Tangerine shrugged. “That looks like the other side of the city, we should be fine. Not like the boss would let us go.” She said with a giggle, taking out her phone to start taking selfies.

Xavier noticed Lee was watching with keen interest, and gave him a playful nudge. “That’s right, you’re not from here.”

Lee briefly tore his gaze from the television to give him a sarcastic glance. “What gave it away?”

“This is probably the first time you’ve seen her, huh? The Dragonfly!”

“It’s just Dragonfly, not ‘The’ Dragonfly.” Tangerine corrected, not looking up from her phone.

Xavier rolled his eyes, but turned back to Lee. “What do you think? She’s something, huh? Not every city has their own Superhero!”

Lee didn’t answer. But Xavier could practically see the gears turning in his mind, thinking of a response.

“She’s…she’s somethin’ alright.” he finally said, repeating what Xavier had said. There was a strange tone in his voice, one that Xavier couldn’t really identify. Hesitant? Strained?

“I think she’s super cool. I mean, I sure couldn’t do that, man!” Xavier said, trying to move on. With a sly grin, he said in a hush. “I think she’s kinda hot. Easy on the eyes, you know?”

Xavier nearly burst into laughter at how red Lee’s face got at that. “Leeeee, you’re a dog! I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry!”

“She does her job.” Lee tried to insist, crossing his arms over his chest. “And she does her job well, from what I’ve seen. I can respect that.”

How very pragmatic. How very…him. Xavier smiled and pat him on the back. “Least we got one thing in common, huh dude?”

Lee gave him a long, unimpressed look before shrugging. “Sure. One thing. One thing in common.”

[m-y--p-a-s-s-i-o-n-s]

Supernatural Fanfics

Title: Couples Costumes

Rating: E

Words: 4k

Summary: Dean and Cas are attending a Halloween party with all their friends, and Dean has decided on the perfect outfits for them.

Title: Whatever This Is Between Us 

Rating: T

Words: 2.3k

Summary: Dean discovers just what kind of relationship the 2014 versions of himself and Castiel have, and maybe he can discover something about himself too.

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Summary: Crowley went to Bobby's to die, but instead the hunter might have just saved his life.

Title: Drawn To You

Rating: E

Words: 5.7K

Summary: Dean is a stripper at 'Crossroad Cowboys' and gets called in to work a hen's party. Dean's expecting all women in the party, but then there is a blue eyed man in a trench coat with them and Dean is instantly drawn to him. When the ladies pay for the guy to have a ride with Dean on the mechanical bull it's clear that the attraction is mutual, is either of them willing to do anything about it though?

Title: Within Blue Gaze

Rating: T

Words: 1.5K

Summary: When Dean is transported to 2014, he spends some time with Cas catching up on the last five years. During that time he discovers something that changes everything, is he ready to pursue it though?

Title: Under the Versatility of a Dream

Rating: T

Words: 942

Summary: Their dynamic has changed now that they’re free from the cage, Adam tries to hide how he feels, but Michael figures out a way to help his human get what he needs.

Title: Under the Storage Shelf 

Rating: M

Words: 1.1K

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Title: Coming Home to You

Rating: T

Words: 3.1K

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Rating: T

Words: 1.4K

Summary: After Dean dies in the final episode he spends a lot of time in Heaven thinking about Castiel, who he never expects to see again...

Title: Human Things

Rating: E

Words: 1.5K

Summary: When Adam and Michael are released from the cage they head to Earth and Adam takes a little time do some human things, Michael wants to help.

Title: The Things That Really Matter

Rating: T

Words: 3.4K

Summary: When Dean is zapped forward to 2014, he learns an important lesson, but its not the one Zachariah wanted him to learn.

Title: Forever

Rating: T

Words: 570

Summary: What happens if Dean never got rid of the 'Mark of Cain'?

Title: Dean's Angel

Rating: T

Words: 865

Summary: An alternate scene in ep 11x18 "Hell's Angel" where Crowley smokes into Castiel's vessel to convince him to eject Lucifer, and things go a little different than he expected.

Title: First Day

Rating: E

Words: 14K

Chapters: 9

Summary: It's Lu's first day at a new school as a Math teacher and he instantly falls for the French teacher, Balthazar, who has an affinity for skinny jeans and v-necks. Balthazar's ex shows up and wants to get back with Balthazar, will he go back with his ex or stay with Lu?

Title: Two Worlds

Rating: E

Words: 9.1k

Chapters: 6

Summary: Castiel is nobody in high school and Dean is the captain of the football team. When Dean asks Cas to help him study, their two worlds start to merge, but can they become one?

Title: Coffee Beans & Motor Oil 

Rating: E

Words: 14.6K

Chapters: 10

Summary: Dean meets Cas at his favourite coffee shop where Cas has just started working after moving into town a few days previous. They hit it off immediately, Dean asks Cas on a date and it all unfolds from there.

Title: Wings 

Rating: T

Words: 1K

Summary: Castiel's back is itchy, could it have something to do with his wings?

Title: Under The Wooden Staircase

Rating: G

Words: 301

Summary: Bobby sets a trap for a crossroads demon but Crowley turns up instead.

Title: Under The Stars

Rating: G

Words: 327

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Title: Under The Roof Of The Impala

Rating: G

Words: 385

Summary: Dean and Cas find themselves under mistletoe and Cas makes his move.

Title: Acceptance

Rating: E

Words: 25.4K

Chapters: 17

Summary: Dean & Cas are 3 months into their relationship & living in a house with Sam when Bobby calls them to come & check out his new overfriendly neighbour. Things become a bit mysterious & Dean doesn't like what he finds.

Title: Winning Over Hearts

Rating: E

Words: 12.6K

Chapters: 11

Summary: Castiel returns from a holiday at Gabriel's house with Gabe, that night Sam is invited over for dinner and it is love at first sight for Gabe, not so much for Sam. Gabe has two weeks to win Sam's heart, but will he be able to?

Title: House Hunting 

Rating: E

Words: 1.2K

Summary: Dean is a real estate agent and Cas is a nurse. Cas comes to look at a house to buy and they flirt and christen the master bedroom, but Cas buys the house in the end.

Title: Guessing Games

Rating: E

Words: 15.3K

Chapters: 10

Summary: Sam and Dean are in high school and make deals to ask out their crushes and dates ensue. John isn't too happy about his sons having boyfriends.

Title: Stuck In The End

Rating: T

Words: 471

Summary: Set in 2014, based on things we saw in 'The End', basically Cas is high and ends up crying and Dean comes in to comfort him.

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Rating: M

Words: 666

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Rating: T

Words: 537

Summary: Dean and Cas had a fight which leads to them understanding their feelings.

Title: A Small Misunderstanding

Rating: G

Words: 548

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Rating: T

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Summary: Gabriel wants to play truth or dare, and Dean and Cas find out things about each other that changes their relationship for the better.

[crazylittlejester]

i'd love to hear all your head canons on Warriors! and the others too if you have any. :)

i'm trying to get into writing fanfiction but its difficult when the canon version of Link is just "blank stare and sometimes arson" /j. Warriors is one of the Links i have the most difficulty with characterization lol (Legend, Hyrule, and Four or also giving me trouble /lh)

aight this is definitely gonna be so much more than you asked for but im not havin a great day and you asked about my special guy and gave me permission to yap about him, so here are a lot of headcanons + the way that I write/characterize him in my own fics! (my bad for spelling errors or if this is incoherent)

- I hc he came from a rather large family out in the country, so he had a lot of sisters growing up and a lot more space than the city but he moved to the city and has stayed there since he joined the army at 15/16

- I know most people hc all the Link’s parents are dead but NOT ME, Wars still has his mom, but he hasn’t been home since he left. I hc he hasn’t been able to bring himself to go home because he feels like the war changed him so much as a person that he won’t belong there and nothing will be the same, and that his family won’t take him back because they’re expecting the same kid who left and he just isnt that person anymore

- I will die on the hill that this man is a fake blond (and that he also straightens his hair). I hc he started dying his hair because he was so desperate to fit in and also to look like the other heroes because his image is incredibly important to him. A whole war was started over him because Cia wanted him, he feels like he needs to at least LOOK like that classic image of the hero. Tied in with this i think he has a lot of insecurity about himself and how he looks because he forces himself to look such a particular way and he’s created this character of himself and acts it out so thoroughly he’s forgotten who HE actually is

- This is a popular hc for him because in his game soldiers turn against him, and you have to fight them in game so a lot of people hc there have been assassination attempts against him and that these include poison. So I hc he has a very intense fear of food that sometimes prevents him from being able to eat all together because he can’t trust where it comes from. Some days he has to watch it be made, some days he has to make it himself, and rarely he just can’t do it. This is all based on my own food allergies and fear of cross contamination, and I also gave him a safe food: oranges! My thinking behind this is that when I get like this eating prepackaged foods are the most comforting to me because it makes me feel like it couldn’t have touched something I’m allergic to, and oranges have a peel which is just a barrier between them and the world. Can they still be poisoned? Absolutely, and Wars knows this, but he’s irrationally dependent on them because in his mind they’re safe because he NEEDS them to be, otherwise he just can’t eat. Like deep down he knows it’s stupid and they’re not guaranteed safe for him, but when he’s panicking he’ll grab those because he’s convinced himself they’re safe and he’s yet to be wrong

- Purely self indulgent hc but I also gave him my blood sugar issues, which is truly just an angst source for me because he’s caught in a trap of having an issue where he HAS to eat semi frequently or bad things will happen but his deep rooted fear of all his food being contaminated makes it really really hard for him to do so

- I hc he’s got a journal that has so so much in it that’s a mix between a diary, battle plans, history book in the making, sketchbook, and more. To me he’s got such a big big brain and a thirst for knowledge and he absorbs history like a SPONGE. He met all these people from other eras during the war and he learned so much about them and their cultures and times, and now he’s going through time to some of these places??? He’s writing that shit DOWN. He’s absolutely the first one to figure out where everyone is on the timeline. He also got used to observing soldiers during battle and noting their strengths and weaknesses so he could plan where to put them in battle and thats just somethin he cannot turn off, so he analyzes the chain and all his notes on them are in this book too. He TELLS them these things, with the intent to help them grow stronger, and he absolutely offers to help them work things out and because of this the group has really become a solid unit. Also the whole thing is written in his native language that NONE of the others can read (I hc he’s brazilian/scottish and his native language is the equivalent of portuguese)

- He’s a very touch oriented person, though the war and his trust issues kinda messed that up for him, but he IS getting better with it. He does much better if he’s the one initiating contact, and he’s definitely a shoulder to lean on for the others and his hugs are very nice

- I hc he HATES shit rubbing against his neck, which is one of the reasons why that scarf is so thoroughly pinned down

- I also hc he came from a family of tailors, so he’s definitely one of the people the chain goes to if they need sewing help

- He’s the one who gives the others haircuts, and he taught Wind how to properly care for his curly hair

- I hc he has temperature regulation issues because of the severe burn scarring Volga left him with, so he and Wild are ALWAYS the first two to overheat

i have more, i could talk about him for hours, but my brain is getting fuzzy so i’ll stop here for now lmao sorry for yapping so much 😭

[genderqueerdykes]

gonna be honest your blog has helped me call myself out on thinking shit that like isn't "okay" & made me constantly remind myself that if whatever someone is doing isnt harming themselves or others then who the fuck am i to tell them that they cant do or be x or y yknow? very helpful . i have also began to reiterate some of these points to my family because obviously . doing a service 2 everyone i fear

i honestly think this is my favorite ask i've ever received, or at least, it's really up there, because that's all i really want in life. like yes there's more, but i really just want people to learn went to say "not my business." and care about something else

i'm really glad that's what you've gotten as the takeaway from my messages. this really can be The Reading Comprehension website, and I see a lot of people fly off into strange tangents, and it always baffles me that by now it is somehow difficult to parse that this is my message at the end of the day

telling people when they're out of line is important, and standing up for one's self or someone else, but sometimes we really need to mind our own business. we really need to focus on ourselves, and what we are doing, and not fussing over someone doing something that confuses us. there are tons of confusing things in life. there is no reason to obsess over not being able to turn something over in your head if it is a form of identity or lifestyle or state of being that is genuinely not harmful to anyone. and we have a core belief of what is genuine harm, deep down in our instincts- physical and mental harm.

if someone walks a weird path in life that nobody else understands but they are content doing so, and it affects no one around them, let them. that's their life. that's their choice. you have your own life to live. it is not worth trying to live in the head of someone else- it's not possible. we have to live our own lives, because no one else can live them for us.

also that is great, i'm really glad to hear that! i hope it falls on receptive ears, and that it settles in after a while. it can take time to stop getting pissed off about certain things, but it's really important to take a step back and go. am i making a mountain out of a mole hill here. is this actually a big deal or can i just forget about this and go on with my day. like seriously: we need to ask ourselves this question when we find ourselves in these situations, because often times, we are.

[marshmallowprotection]

Have you ever done a post talking about how Ray stopped obsessing about MC on his own route?

I don't believe I've ever done one in depth before but I would LOVE to talk about that to clear up misconceptions. So, we're all well-aware of the fact Ray is completely in love with the idea of you. To talk about it in depth, we need to start at the beginning of Ray's awakening. While talking about his infatuation, it's important to understand the reason why he became so captivated with you in the first place, so that you'll be able to see how his love changes from mere infatuation with some idea to the conceptualizing of true love.

I'll start at the very beginning of Ray's identity in Mint Eye. When he realized who he was and what he had to do for the Savior, this person who has forced him to undergo torture the likes of which we only see brief spurts of and cannot even conceptualize just how horrible it was for him to experience, he understood the rules. He had to obey every order to survive, even if it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Any sort of deviation from the Savior's expectation would have him back into a basement that held nothing but nightmares.

"I have no one left for me. I have been abandoned by everyone but the Savior. I should be grateful that she hasn't given up on me like everybody I've ever known. I should devote my life to hers because that's all I'm good for. If I was good for anything, V and Saeyoung... wouldn't have left me behind. I see nothing but torment in my life, but that's all I've ever known and that's all I will ever know. I need to be grateful that the Savior saved me, because her torment is what can save me... if I can be good enough for her... maybe I'll be good enough to exist."

You have to understand that this is Ray's core foundation. He has been pressured to believe something that goes against who he is. Ray is described best as someone who cannot stop dreaming, and Suit Saeran said it the best, "Ray won't stop dreaming of a day that might bring V and Saeyoung back to his side, even if Rika's forced us to believe they'll hurt us. Unlike Ray, I know we can't go back to what we had, but he won't stop dreaming. If he stops dreaming, we won't have any hope. To dream is to have hope, and Ray is my hope. That's why I want to help him and you escape this place. So, our hope can... survive."

Ray's very existence is defined by his value to Rika. That's what he's been forced to believe and trust me when I say this, Ray doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be defined by what he can do for Rika to give her proof that he shouldn't be tortured anymore. He wants to be able to exist without the fear of a hammer swinging over his head, but he isn't allowed to have that. Rika's controlling him through fear, through the idea that he has to show her he has value so she won't throw him away like "V and Saeyoung threw him away".

She abuses Ray with a blend of verbal abuse and love-bombing on the regular and this back and forth of "you're an airhead and maybe Ray shouldn't exist in the first place because he keeps failing every task I give him," vs "Oh, Ray, no one in this world will care for you the way you need except for me... I didn't abandon you, so you can truly believe me above everyone else."

How would you feel if the only way you could evade being drugged in Mint Eye's basement would be to work your fingers to the bone?

Would you fight the Savior? Would you try to reason with her even though it is futile to argue with someone who refuses to listen to you? Would it take long for you to realize that the only means to your survival will be to obey? What if you fought her and she cast you aside, sending you to fight for yourself on the streets of Seoul? The very streets where one wrong move could have Saejoong Choi kill you?

What's worse, to be tormented in a basement with drugs until you learn your "lesson", or to be killed the minute you step foot into the outside world your Mother always told you would kill you when you did? You don't want to die. You don't want to die, do you? How long will it take before you accept this awful reality... because you don't have another choice? It didn't take Ray very long to accept that he had no other choice. It was Rika's torment and "salvation" or death.

He understands that he'll probably die in Mint Eye, but at least... in Mint Eye, he can tell himself that Rika didn't abandon him. At least, he would die knowing one person didn't "give up" on him. He settles, because what else can he do but settle? This is the greatest good he may ever get. Is it any wonder why he wants to make the "best" of the nightmare he's living in? No, it's really not.

It's not okay, though. He shouldn't have to make the "best" of what he's given because he doesn't deserve any of the suffering he's been forced to experience at the hand of Rika. None of the believers who found themselves trapped in that place deserved what happened to them. What Ray suffered doesn't justify his decision making, though. His suffering doesn't make what he does with the player before he's able to realize the error of his ways right.

Mind you, as I'm writing this post and explaining Ray's perspective, I don't want any of you to get this twisted. Ray's actions aren't justified in any way. He shouldn't have lied to the player, he shouldn't have told you the RFA were characters in a game, he shouldn't have risked your life and safety for his obsession with the idea of you, etc, etc. I know a lot of people are more understanding of Ray and Saeran than they are of other characters in this game, but I'm still going to say this since it has to be said so often.

Understanding a character, enjoying a character, and knowing the rhyme or reason why they do something doesn't mean you justify their actions. It just means you like that character and tried to get more information to understand why they did what they did and it's okay to morally dubious characters. Let's break down our important critical thinking skills and remember that.

Anyway.

Those images I stitched above are from his diary and show you a tiny glimpse into his formula for bringing someone to Mint Eye.

Ray starts out as the head of security for Mint Eye and he has to work his way up to the creation process that brings us to the RFA "game" he sells the player. He spends the first few months stalking the RFA as best he can to learn more about their habits and how to either eliminate them or bring them to Mint Eye for the Savior, it's only after he has proven himself worthy of gathering information that Rika tells him that he will be allowed to choose whoever he wants to help him take down the RFA.

This is a "reward" he's given for good behavior, as in, doing his job until his fingers bleed and he has to wear gloves to stop himself from dislocating the joints, chugging caffeine pills and his elixir like a "good boy", and keeping his mouth shut about anything but breathing and Paradise. He gets the "honor" of finding someone to help him do his job, and during the process of hunting down that person to help his mission, he finds... you.

I don't think he set out to find someone who could like him. I think he originally sought out someone who could listen to him and believe his lies about the RFA. He wanted someone who wouldn't question him... after all, how can you get someone to be your eyes and ears when all you hear is: "Why is this so life-like? Why do these characters feel so real? I'm starting to believe what they're telling me and I'm having so much doubt what you've been selling me, Ray."

He was looking for a person who would be incredibly naive, but kind-hearted. It's just that in the process of trying to find someone to fit that bill, he discovered you. It's not entirely clear how he found you or what made him like you, that's always left open to the player so they can decide what he liked about them. All we know is that he watched you visit your favorite cafe now and again. Everything else is really up to the player to decide... meaning however dark or light you want that imagery is up to you.

Regardless, he discovered you, and something about you captivated him so much that he told himself there could be no other person to test his game. It would have to be you. There was something about you that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside... it made him feel so good. Here's the thing about his feelings for you in the beginning. He could learn as much as he wanted by scouring information about you online, but that would never be the same as actually getting to know you.

So, from the get-go, Ray's foundation of who you are is based on what he can find.

Everything he can't find is built on what he creates in his head.

This is why he becomes obsessed with the idea of you, and it's so easy for him to slip into this fantasy. The idea of someone can be better than who they really are sometimes, because a concept can't disappoint you or break your heart. Ray spends most of his time fantasizing about what it would be like to be close to you, what it would be like to get to know you, and as he continues to fill in the pieces with his fantasized version of you, the line between reality and fiction becomes blurred. 

You become the only constant in his life that has a driving force for good, frankly. Whenever he is being tortured for a mistake he made or criticized for not being good enough, he slips into his head to just fantasize about what it would be like to be treated with respect by the object of his obsession. The concept of you, it comforts him, it brings him peace, it brings him joy, and it keeps him ALIVE. If not for those months he spent dreaming of you, he might not have survived as long as he did.

Ray, at his core, needs a reason to have hope.

If you strip away all of his hopes and dreams, there is nothing left but a shell. There is nothing left but a husk... and is it really any wonder in this world why Suit Saeran was angry when he woke up and saw his Ray was tortured for daring to dream the impossible?

When that was all Ray ever wanted? To dream? He wouldn't even allow himself a chance to ask for what he wanted, he would beat it out himself to let the Savior know he wouldn't try to fight her for ANYTHING.

Ray was trained to destroy himself from the inside out because Rika intended for him to disappear someday. For Saeran to "take over and prove that strength is only born from survival of the fittest."

The fantasy of you wasn't the real you by any means but Ray could settle for a fantasy if he couldn't taste reality.

The idea of you gave him strength to survive until tomorrow, and that's important to understand. Why else would Ray consistently say, "I will settle for whatever you give me. I don't deserve anything. Use me as you please, even if it hurts me, because I just want you to be happy."? Ray has to settle for less all the time. He is so desperate to be liked, to never be abandoned again, that he's okay with you doing anything to him as long as he can stay with you.

That's what Bad Ending 1 is all about—if you decide to take his offer to hurt him for your amusement.

When all he can dream of is his fantasy and what he settled for, it should become abundantly clear to players why he is so dead set on wanting you to stay with him. His desperation for you to stay with him stems from the fact that he doesn't want to be abandoned. Ray believes he was left behind by everyone who loved him except for his Savior, so when he begs and pleads for you to stay later on, it's 100% because of this fear.

Is it wrong for him to beg and plead to make you stay with him? YES! It's not okay! But, it's easy to understand WHY he's begging so hard in the first place. Ray wants so badly for his fantasy of you to be real. To be liked by you, not even loved, is all he wants because you have become the only thing that makes a smile stay on his face in this den of torment.

Do you know what you do as the player during Ray Route? During your time with Ray, you are constantly and consistently telling him that he should value himself, that he shouldn't beat himself down, that he shouldn't take Rika's torment and believe the horrible things she tells him, and that he should think for himself instead of what he thinks Rika wants him to think. You are actively working to help Ray understand his value as a person, nudging him to decide for himself what he wants.

Do you owe him that kindness? No, no you don't. You don't owe him this, nobody does, but if you decide to love him and give him the time to grow from his mistakes, this is where Ray Route takes you. Tumblr won't let me post more than 30 images, so I will point you to read just a couple of specific chatrooms I can't post snippets of.

Day 5, 19:23, "Small Coincidence" & Day 6, 03:17, "If I was stronger" & Day 6, 20:49, "Suddenly Afraid". Those chatrooms specifically give a player the option to reassure Ray at every turn, to tell him that he is a person who matters to you, and that he needs to trust your words as you say them, and not assume they come with a stipulation like every word out of Rika's mouth.

You're not telling Ray that you want to stay in Mint Eye with these choices.

You're telling him that you want to stay with him.

MC is actively making the decision once they realize the truth to see what they can do to get Ray out of Mint Eye. You may not trust V at first, you may not even believe him, but you have seen Ray suffer at Rika's hand and you know he doesn't deserve that. You want to get him away from this place, far, far away... and the closer you get to the kiss visual novel, the closer you get to helping Ray overcome what was done to him.

I understand it can be difficult to grasp what's happening during the first two days of the route because realistically this would be playing out throughout a couple of months. But, what you're doing is helping Ray undo the brainwashing. You are working to deprogram the cult manipulation, and I don't know if any of you know how hard it is for someone to do that in real life, but it's not easy.

There is a reason why it is so difficult to remove someone from a cult once they are knee-deep in the trenches. You can't just tell someone to leave, even if it's detrimental to their health and safety because they won't leave the cult. Cults are designed to keep people inside. Even if you present someone with logic and reason, they have been taught not to listen to anyone who tries to tell them anything that goes against the doctrine they have been forced to believe. 

You are more likely to lose a person if you try to force them out of a cult than you are to save them. Obviously, every situation is different and you need to approach this with care if you encounter something like this in real life, but I would pray nobody would have to learn about this information or how to use it.

I don't want anyone to be trapped in a cult. But, hey, look into how folks do help remove people from cults with SAFETY in mind. It's interesting, if a bit dark because there's right and wrong ways to help people.

That's why I advise you to look in those chat rooms if you want more contextual evidence to understand what's happening here since my images are limited and I had to chop this down to what I knew would be most helpful to someone's understanding of the situation. So, I've got two phone calls below that point out what I'm talking about and show what the MC is doing.

Reassuring Ray of his desires by telling him he's allowed to think for himself, and then down below, you're working to tell Ray that he can trust other people, not just the Savior. It is the little things like these choices that build up to what happens when you kiss him and it just about clicks for him that this place isn't sustainable.

This language the player uses is important in those chatrooms and during every phone call where this conversation topic comes up. He needs to hear it. He needs to know that his life is bound by what he can do for Rika. He can have more what he's been given, he doesn't have to settle for torment and torture. He can have whatever he truly desires as long as he's willing to face the facts. Ray's just... so afraid of what will happen when he stands up that it takes a long time to get him to that point.

Case in point, the fake elixir. He became so incredibly paranoid about his decision to have you forgo the elixir that he decided to cultivate a fake bottle that nobody could distinguish from the real thing just to protect you. He lied about you taking the elixir in the first place and that was dangerous in itself, but it was a decision he made that truly began to send him down a path that would lead him to run away from settling for the hell Rika gave him. 

This lie Ray made was huge, and I don't see a lot of people point that out.

He tells you multiple times that he's afraid of what might happen to you if they find out he lied about your initiation ceremony. He knows what's going to happen to you, and he knows what will happen to him because he lied about it. He might never be able to see you again, and he might never exist again after they're through with him, but he still decided to lie about it because he couldn't stand the thought of seeing you in pain.

Decisions like that are ones that help you understand the "generous" organization you're in isn't trying to help you, it's trying to kill you at every corner. Ray’s devotion is based on fear and fear alone. He truly doesn't believe what he's been sold, the only reason why he fights so hard for this paradise is because he believes that he doesn't have any other choice.

Why do you think he wants Paradise to be as good as he can make it? 

When you try to tell him you want to leave, he tells you that he could never survive in the outside world. It has been beaten into him over and over again. He won't be able to survive out there without the help of the savior. He won't be able to survive anywhere without her help.

That's why he tries to fight so hard to survive, to make the best of this nightmare, because one day he'll be able to catch the carrot on the string. Even if he knows that's never going to happen, he doesn't believe there's any other way for him to exist, and if he's going to be happy with you, the only place he can have it is here. Even when you make him want to believe in the impossible dream, it still feels very impossible.

That's by design, Rika's design.

So, when he actively starts to make hard decisions that go against everything she's tried to beat into him, that shows him breaking away from Mint Eye. That is the first step in the process of getting him out of there. It is not easy by any means, but by God were you so close to getting him out of there. Lying to Rika? Huge. Making a fake elixir to protect you? Huge. Owning up to the fact that he's terrified for what he's done by bringing you here? Huge. A process of accountability on his part and the beginning of Ray's journey to do the right thing.

Every conversation you had with Ray up until this point has helped him little by little realize you care about him and it's not something you're going to throw away. Your affection for him isn't something that's going to be yanked away like a carrot on a string, you intend to give him kindness because you believe he deserves it very inherently, meaning that he doesn't have to prove himself to receive it. He is all deserving of love, just as anyone else is, and you want him to know that because seeing him destroy himself is painful.

Even at the moment when you hold him close to your heart and there seems to be nothing in the world that could tell him you didn’t mean what you told him, there’s still some unease in his chest. You can't help somebody overcome years of insecurity and months of torture with a single kiss. But, it's a start, and the decision to start a journey towards self-reflection is what’s hopeful. 

There's still a hint of what he thought was love when you kiss him. It's not hard to miss. But, if you've been paying attention to the way he's been talking, you'll have noticed that the pressure he laid down to stay with him near the beginning of your journey has decreased by a significant margin. He is no longer trying to find ways to manipulate you into staying with him. 

He's trying to find ways to understand your heart and what it means to be close to the real you.

He's less focused on trying to convince you that this place is great, and he starts to reveal what's going on inside his head. He tells you why he’s lost and afraid, he tells you what keeps him awake at night, and he tells you how he’s come to believe this is truly the only place for him to exist.

His desperation is what asks you to stay with him because he wants to be with you if you’ll have him, but he can’t understand why you don’t want to stay in Mint Eye when he's been coerced to believe this is the only place he can exist. It's important to understand the huge difference in language.

But, now as you hold him close to your heart, his fantasy is starting to fade away by the minute. He's less focused on trying to make sense of his dreams and more focused on trying to understand the reality of what you're living in. You know, "If there really is a paradise, I wish you would be there with me." He's not calling Mint Eye a paradise, he said he would want to be in a "paradise" with you.

Little adjustments to his manner of speech stand out. Read between the lines and compare and contrast the way that Ray talks to you at the beginning and more so as you get closer to him. All that work you laid down as you got closer to him mattered so damn much that I can not even begin to explain it in a single sentence. Do you know why it matters so much?

Rika had eyes and ears on Ray. She knew what you were doing, she knew what you were telling Ray, and she knew Ray was on the cusp of leaving her behind. So, what did Rika do when someone told her Ray kissed the Special Missionary? She got rid of him, or she tried to get rid, at least.

She is using him for everything she can get out of him. She intends to use him until he is no longer useful, and your trying to convince him that he has value goes against everything she's been fighting to make him believe. The minute you help him realize that he has more worth than what she's given to him is the minute he decides to leave. Rika can't have him abandon her, she's the only person who can abandon someone, she says. I'm the only one who gets to decide who suffers after V tried to decide everything for me.

The only reason why he is punished is because you were only an inch away from helping him escape Mint Eye. 

You were THAT close.

He manages to call you somewhere amidst the torture because he finds the courage to tell you the truth. He wants to be with you more than anything in the world because he finally realized being with you made him feel like he was worth something, but he isn't allowed to exist in paradise. He was never meant to know what this felt like this, what it felt like to be loved by someone as kind as you to him, and if he doesn't take this torture, you will know this torture. 

"I must be gone for our salvation. I need to be gone for you to stay in paradise."

vs

"No, no! I want to stay! I want to see you so much! Please, I don't want to disappear! I miss you, please... please! Abandon me, save yourself!"

This is Ray trying to fight the programming that was beaten into him, but he ultimately lost his battle in the basement. He was so close to getting out of Mint Eye but Rika knew better than to turn her back on him. She knew she had to snuff out his light if she wanted to use him for what he was worth.

I do not doubt in my heart that he fought as much as he could to survive those hours of suffering and torment, but he was fighting Rika and God knows how many guards as they shoved elixir down his throat and told him he was a failure. I can't blame him for not being able to believe in his dreams when they held a bottle of poison to his throat and told him he needed to obey or you would suffer. 

Your last interaction with Ray as himself is when Saeran shuts down. When you tell Saeran that you won't treat him like Ray to give him the love he deserves, because you know treating Saeran like Ray won't be good or healthy for him. You want to love him as Saeran, not as Ray... and the idea of being loved as himself is torture. He'll die if the Savior finds out you love him (and he, you, in return) because that's literally what happened to Ray.

Pretending to be Ray was his only hope of tasting that adoration for even a moment. Because he understood inherently that love and kindness would always be a weakness in Mint Eye. Showing even a small amount of that weakness would’ve had him destroyed, and if they destroyed him, there would be nothing to protect whatever remained of Ray, and you. If he's gone and incapable of being the sword and shield of "strength", there will be no hope for all three of you.

I digress, I've talked about Suit Saeran’s desire to be loved before, so I don’t think I need to go too depth about that right here. Just know he craves love too, but he won't let himself have it because he's afraid of being tortured like Ray was for unleashing his desires. He wants to be the strongest so nobody tries to torture him ever again, even when it could cost him a chance at happiness.

I.E. Bad Ending 2, where Suit Saeran goes too far and he breaks the player completely beyond repair and he can't put you back together again even though he realizes he shouldn't have done what he did in the first place.

This moment is the one where everything finally comes to a head and Ray looks you in the eyes and confesses the truth. He apologizes to you for everything he's done, for tricking you, for deceiving you, for putting you in this predicament in the first place all because he was so obsessed with the idea of you.

Even if you decided to give him a chance, even if you decided he was worth fighting for, and even if you decided you wanted to be with him despite everything—Ray understood in that moment you deserved an apology because he shouldn't have deceived you in the first place. He acknowledges that he is guilty, not just Saeran.

They both hurt you and there is no excuse for their actions. Ray is able to conceptualize this need to apologize first, and his ability to own up to everything that's happened so far is what opens the door for Saeran to do the same.  

He tells you that you need to put yourself first, that you need to protect yourself and if it comes down to it, if you need to choose between him or yourself, he would want you to choose yourself. After all this time he spent trying to convince you to abandon everything and stay with him in this false paradise, he realizes that you deserve to decide for yourself what it is you want and after everything that's happened, it's your choice and he can't blame you for whatever you choose. 

He can't force you to stay with him. He can't manipulate you to stay with him. He can't get on his hands and knees and tell you not to abandon him just because he's afraid.

If you want to stay with him, it should be because that's something you want, not because it's something he's tried to make you do for him.

He understands that now, and he began to understand that before, it was hard to see it under all the torture and pain he was experiencing before, unfortunately.

You helped him realize that he's always been a person deserving of love and affection, and if it wasn't for this dire situation, if it wasn't for the fact that he knows if he's not careful you'll be tortured within an inch of your life, his words in this moment would be filled with more gratitude at having the chance to have known you. He's unfortunately still beating himself down because he's not sure if there will ever be a way for him to exist in a world that won't try to destroy him. 

But, he wanted you to know, no matter what, you helped him realize he was worth more than what he thought he was. You made him see meaning in what he imagined was NOTHING. Rika never for Ray to be anything but a tool, and you showed him that Ray mattered.

His existence mattered.

It meant something.

He meant something.

Ray: “Ever since I met you, I thought that I might be able to stay in this world. You made my name mean something when it was never meant to mean anything. You're kind, one of the kindest people I've ever met, and I wish... I wish I could stay with you... but I've hurt you so much.”

Suit Saeran, hours later: "You know, the name Ray wasn't supposed to mean something... but you look a little sad every time I say it. I'm certain that's because you made him feel real... made him feel like he was allowed to be something, more than just an airhead who did all the work they forced down his throat."

Ray realizing that true love sometimes means being willing to let someone go because the environment around the two of you is only going to destroy you in the end is huge for someone who thought his love could only be founded in fantasy. A boy who was ready to cling desperately to you and do anything he could to make you stayed by his side willfully choosing to let you go because he never should have tried to cage you in the first place? 

Character growth!

This here is the pivotal moment when you should understand his love for you has become real, and it is not founded in the obsession it was at the get go. I don't know how else to spell this out any clearer for people to understand, but if I missed anything and you're not sure about something you've come across in the game, please point it out because I would love to talk about it. 

I know that this game is not perfect by any means when it comes to showing his character progression, but the concept is there, and as long as you're looking like you will find it readily. 

[communist-manifesto-daily]

Socialism: Utopian and Scientific - Part 12

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In England, the bourgeoisie never held undivided sway. Even the victory of 1832 left the landed aristocracy in almost exclusive possession of all the leading Government offices. The meekness with which the middle-class submitted to this remained inconceivable to me until the great Liberal manufacturer, Mr. W. A. Forster, in a public speech, implored the young men of Bradford to learn French, as a means to get on in the world, and quoted from his own experience how sheepish he looked when, as a Cabinet Minister, he had to move in society where French was, at least, as necessary as English! 

The fact was, the English middle-class of that time were, as a rule, quite uneducated upstarts, and could not help leaving to the aristocracy those superior Government places where other qualifications were required than mere insular narrowness and insular conceit, seasoned by business sharpness. [2] Even now the endless newspaper debates about middle-class education show that the English middle-class does not yet consider itself good enough for the best education, and looks to something more modest. Thus, even after the repeal of the Corn Laws, it appeared a matter of course that the men who had carried the day – the Cobdens, Brights, Forsters, etc. – should remain excluded from a share in the official government of the country, until 20 years afterwards a new Reform Act opened to them the door of the Cabinet. The English bourgeoisie are, up to the present day, so deeply penetrated by a sense of their social inferiority that they keep up, at their own expense and that of the nation, an ornamental caste of drones to represent the nation worthily at all State functions; and they consider themselves highly honored whenever one of themselves is found worthy of admission into this select and privileged body, manufactured, after all, by themselves.

[2] And even in business matters, the conceit of national Chauvinism is but a sorry adviser. Up to quite recently, the average English manufacturer considered it derogatory for an Englishman to speak any language but his own, and felt rather proud than otherwise of the fact that "poor devils" of foreigners settled in England and took off his hands the trouble of disposing of his products abroad. He never noticed that these foreigners, mostly Germans, thus got command of a very large part of British foreign trade, imports and exports, and that the direct foreign trade of Englishmen became limited, almost entirely, to the colonies, China, the United States, and South America. Nor did he notice that these Germans traded with other Germans abroad, who gradually organized a complete network of commercial colonies all over the world. But, when Germany, about 40 years ago [c.1850], seriously began manufacturing for export, this network served her admirably in her transformation, in so short a time, from a corn-exporting into a first-rate manufacturing country. Then, about 10 years ago, the British manufacturer got frightened, and asked his ambassadors and consuls how it was that he could no longer keep his customers together. The unanimous answer was:

You don't learn customer's language but expect him to speak your own;

You don't even try to suit your customer's wants, habits, and tastes, but expect him to conform to your English ones.

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[aylen-san]

Decades passed, and as Maglor wandered the vast lands, he occasionally found himself among evolving beings who, in his mind, were still the descendants of the humans he had known. In each group he saw the rudiments of what had once been greatness, but they were primitive, barely discernible. Yet something drew him inexorably to them, like threads of destiny he could not break.

At first he joined a small group of creatures who had barely learned to tame fire. They could not speak, only make crude noises, but they already had rituals. Maglor watched their fires, watched them stack the stones in a certain order and remembered the old days. He didn't try to interfere in their lives, didn't try to speak - it would have been pointless. But one night he hummed a melody to them, soft and ancient as time itself. The creatures stood still for a moment, as if sensing something important, but then went about their business, not realising that the song was meant for their ancestors.

He left this group and wandered for several more years until he found another. These creatures had already begun to use primitive tools: stone axes, sticks with pointed ends. They had the first signs of language, their cries and gestures were becoming more meaningful. Maglor stayed among them for months, not revealing who he really was. Sometimes he helped them with their chores - showed them how to sharpen a stone, how to make a fire on a rainy day. They accepted him as their own without asking too many questions. But every time he felt his affection for them begin to grow, he would leave. For no matter what he did, their fate was their own.

And so it went, again and again. Maglor wandered the world, sometimes joining those who were already building primitive dwellings of twigs and stones, who were beginning to grow plants or hunt in groups. He saw them make mistakes, try to learn, and each time his heart was filled with the bitter knowledge: how long could they go on before they ruined everything again?

He stayed longer with one group that lived by the river. Here the creatures had already begun to use primitive clay, to make the first pots. They had learned to keep fires burning all night, and Maglor could see a glimmer of reason in their eyes. One evening, sitting by the fire, he hummed to them an old song about a great kingdom of men forgotten in the dust of time. This time some of the creatures listened. One, a little more curious, even tried to imitate the sound the elf was making. Maglor looked at him in silent amazement. Was this the beginning of music? Or was it just an echo of his memories? But he didn't stay here for long. The humans began to change.

[superpyodan]

This is a silly little thing I wrote of @clarisinne's Cringefail Farmer, my Kenny, and The Harvey Debacle™️. Seeing the fanarts inspired me but I wasn't in the mood to draw, so now this exists. It's very self-indulgent (because i am Obsessed with cringefail) but PLEASE... enjoy...

—————

‘’And then,’’ Clarice says, flinging her arms into the air dramatically, ‘’I felt his dick on my leg!’’

Kenny stops dead in his tracks and turns to look at Clarice, comically slowly. Really, he should have been expecting it. She asked him to go out for a ‘walk’, and despite how uncharacteristic it was, Kenny assumed she meant well. It’s a nice day — Maybe she just wanted to get some fresh air, or a break from her farm work. But, she hasn’t stopped talking about Harvey since the second she and Kenny locked eyes. Even when she’s not talking about Harvey directly, he still drips from her words.

‘’Okay? That’s- That’s good though, right? Or bad? Honestly, it’s hard to tell, with you.’’

‘’Uh, bad, obviously. Like - What the fuck do I do about that?’’ Clarice asks. She’s obviously flustered, but hiding it under a thick layer of feigned irritation. Usually, she’s feisty. A firework on the brink of explosion, a person born from the embers of a campfire. Her emotions don’t come out gently, and being abrasive is not something she shies away from. Kenny has seen this exact type of person a million and one times, and there is no way he’d believe that Clarice genuinely believes that she is in a bad situation. Difficult, maybe even a little embarrassing, but not bad.

‘’Was your real motivation for asking me to hang out, to ask for sex advice?’’ Kenny inquires, squinting a little. He figures it’s better to rip the band-aid off instead of dancing around the subject. With Clarice’s temperament, they’d get nowhere doing the latter.

Immediately, she goes bright red, a defensive look spreading across her face. Her instinct, Kenny assumes, is to immediately deny. They’re just friends, hanging out, and talking about friend stuff — Until they’re not. Something Kenny’s been forced to learn over the years is that sometimes, you need other people. Even if it’s embarrassing, or awkward to talk about, you need other people. He can be ‘other people’ for Clarice, if only she’d admit she actually wants help.

‘’Fuck no. Obviously not. I’m just- I’m just saying!’’ She exclaims, just as Kenny expected. So, he holds his palm up to her, preventing a continuation.

‘’No. If you want to talk about this, we can.’’ He assures. Clarice looks straight at him, frantic eyes transitioning into a softness, defensiveness turning into quiet nerves. Quickly, her intentions become clear. She did want to talk about it.

Clarice sighs, and collapses cross-legged into the grass. Kenny shuffles a little then lowers himself to sit in front of her, their knees touching.

‘’I tried to talk to Shane,’’ Clarice starts, ‘’But he was useless. He wanted nothing to do with it.’’

‘’Uh, yeah. Shane’s great at emotional support, but… Yeah. He’d never in a million years discuss sex with anyone. He caught me and Alex making out once and almost killed us and then himself.’’ Kenny reminisces, and it makes Clarice laugh.

‘’Do you fucking know what he said? He was like, ‘I wasn’t even aware Harvey had a dick before all this’, and then started yelling. And then I was yelling, and it was chaos, and I’m never fucking talking to him about anything ever again.’’ She explains, much chirpier than she was while telling the Harvey story. That’s the thing with Clarice — It’s important to match her energy. If Kenny doesn’t make it weird and awkward, she won’t either.

So, he giggles along with her, leaning back on his hands and allowing the sun to hit his face. ‘’Right, well, I’m not gonna yell at you. So, like.. Shoot. I know I seem kind of lame, but I do have experience under my belt, especially with men. Excuse the pun.’’

Clarice grins up at Kenny, before closing her eyes and taking a deep and contemplative breath. It’s a little strange, but he’s grateful that she’s willing to confide in him about something so personal. Sure, he doesn’t know Harvey very well. He can be a bit of a mess, and just as anxious as she is. If Clarice doesn’t get anything productive out of the conversation, at least she will have spoken. For Kenny, that’s good enough. He understands the importance of being able to get things off one’s chest.

‘’I just… Ugh. I don’t know how to go about this situation with him! I haven’t been in a relationship for so long, and like… I really like him. What if it gets ruined if we have sex? What if he thinks I’m a loser?’’ Clarice rambles a little, stumbling over her words, a dust of pink sprinkled over her cheeks. Kenny, however, furrows his eyebrows.

‘’Uh, dude. He got hard just from kissing you. I don’t think you need to worry about him thinking you’re a loser.’’

‘’Men are just like that, though! They’re easily entertained!’’ Clarice retaliates.

‘’Yeah, exactly. If anything, he’s the loser. Men are losers. You’re cool and pretty and literally don’t need to worry about any of that. As for the other stuff, though…’’ Kenny trails off, allowing himself a moment to really think through what he’s going to say. Sensitive subject, sensitive words.

For a moment, he thinks back to the beginning of his relationship with Alex, trying to pull inspiration and advice from that. he was cautious — Terrified of making Alex uncomfortable, terrified of something going disastrously wrong. But, neither of those things happened. They fell into each other very naturally, eventually throwing caution to the wind and exploring each other in a way that suited them both. It seems to have been the way in every relationship Kenny’s had.

‘’I think having sex with someone is something that just, kinda… Naturally happens, over time. If you feel the need to discuss it first, you will. If it just randomly ends up happening, as long as you’re both comfortable, then so be it. Just, go with each other’s flow, you know? I bet Harvey’s nervous about it too, but you guys will come around. It’ll work. And if it doesn’t, then you can just try again. God knows me and Alex had some blunders at first.’’ Kenny says, trying his best to articulate himself well. Clarice nods thoughtfully, but Kenny’s advice isn’t quite enough.

‘’But what do guys even like? I haven’t had sex in so long. What if I’ve forgotten how?’’

He tries to suppress it, but Clarice’s question makes Kenny laugh. Amusement born from love, but amusement nonetheless.

‘’Uh, you definitely haven’t forgotten how to have sex. You forget that humans have been having sex since literally the beginning of our existence. For most of us, it’s pretty hard-wired. You just need to get to know him, explore your options, even ask him straight-up. Genuinely — You’ll figure it out. I know you’re shitting yourself about it now, but, I can promise you with almost one-hundred percent certainty that it’ll be okay. Good, even.’’

Clarice unties the ribbon from her braid, then starts re-braiding it in silence, giving herself a moment to let Kenny’s words truly seep into her brain. It seems to be working — Visually, she’s less tense. Her face is softer, and her shoulders aren’t attached to her ears anymore. Kenny knows that his advice isn’t going to magically absolve her of her anxieties, but if her body language is anything to go by, it’s managed to absolve something. Something is better than nothing.

‘’So, what you’re saying, is that I need to get over myself.’’ Clarice concludes, retying the ribbon in her hair. Kenny smiles at her.

‘’Well — Maybe a little bit. It’s normal to be nervous, but like… I genuinely think you’ll be okay. And if you’re not, you know where to find me, yeah? And please. If you guys do have sex, I want to know all about it.’’

‘’Pervert.’’ Clarice remarks playfully. ‘’But, yeah. Thank you, Kenny. Seriously.’’

‘’Of course. Any time.’’ Kenny replies, soft and sincere.

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiiii how have you been love bug? (Please tell me if your uncomfortable with that term since you are non-binary and they/them I’m not sure what nicknames you are uncomfortable with it’s just what I call my friends and just a nickname I have for people in general🫶🏻🫶🏻 ) so I’d like to to request farah with a adhd reader who is hyper forgetful and sometimes has meltdowns ( as someone with adhd)🧡🧡🧡

Hey! I'm fine! Bought some more yarn for my leftover blanket today, which I'm excited to work on! And don't worry, I think love bug is really cute! I don't mind most nicknames, but thank you for being considerate, I really do appreciate it! Hope you're doing well as well ^^

I don't have ADHD, so I don't know at all what it's like for someone with it! I had to do some research on it, so I don't know if these are actually viable methods of helping, but I tried! Please do correct me with something that might help and I'll add it in this post afterwards! I hope this is enjoyable to you regardless! Thank you for the request!

Farah with a Reader with ADHD

Farah doesn’t particularly know a lot about mental illnesses. She may be traumatized, yes, but that doesn’t mean she ever had the time to research any of them. So she’s definitely not the best person to go to when it comes to things like these, but she tries, even if she can’t always understand everything that’s going on. You’re suffering, and that’s enough for her to know she should do something to help you.

You being this forgetful may be a cause of concern for her, though. It’s not every day she meets someone who forgot what they did five minutes prior. It’s especially concerning when it’s something important, though, like seeing a doctor. Although she may be worried for you potentially developing something as severe as dementia eventually, she’ll try to push her worries aside and help you to the best of her abilities. If you ever need reminders, she can help you. Farah remembers and retains things very well, she’s never had any issues with it since she had to in order to get by. If you need to remember something, she’ll remind you a few times a day. You have an appointment? Don’t forget about it tomorrow, I’ll tell you again then. However, she’s also a big fan of post its and will write down whatever it is you may need and place it somewhere she knows you’re going to see it. I know, out of sight, out of mind, but she’ll also text you and have you make reminders on your phone for important things so you don’t forget. Won’t get mad at you for forgetting your anniversary, she can see that it’s hard for you to remember things and won’t yell at you or anything either. However, she will mention that it was your anniversary, or maybe her birthday. For the most part she just wants to spend those days with you, if she can, and will thus remind you. Again, you don’t need to feel ashamed for forgetting, she’ll tell you that it’s quite alright and that you shouldn’t worry. She’s patient like that.

If you have a meltdown in front of her, she definitely would not know what to do at first. Depending on what kind of meltdown it is, she’ll react differently. If it creeps up on you, slowly making you irritated, then she’ll ask you what’s wrong. Regardless of your answer, she’ll ask you how she can help you, if you would like to be left alone or if you would like to take a small break in any way. She gets it and she’ll get you away from whatever is stressing you out so you can slowly recharge. If you really do want to be left alone for a while, she will comply, but will knock on your door to check up on you every once in a while and will bring you some food as well. Farah just wants you to be well, so she’ll take care of you how she thinks might help. Food is always good, food usually helps her, so she hopes it’ll do the same for you as well.

If it’s a sudden meltdown where you don’t know where left and right are anymore, then she’ll get you away from everyone else at first. While she can’t imagine what it’s like for you, it likely isn’t very pleasant for you to be crying and screaming in front of other people. Hoping that you trust her, she’ll try to ground you, asking you how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling and how she could help you. What happened is also another question she would ask you. Again, she won’t really know what to do on her own, but she tries her best. Farah will talk to you in a soothing tone and try to distract you at first so you can calm down a bit. Whether it be cracking a joke or asking you about your top five favorite reptiles. Even if you can’t answer her properly, she’ll just reassure you that it’s okay, that everything is just bad in this moment and that it’ll pass. She’s with you this entire time and won’t leave you unless you want her to. Asks you to breathe a bit with her. In all your time being together, she’s likely learned a breathing technique or two that might help you.

Once your meltdown is over, she’ll be very gentle with you, especially if she can see you’re beating yourself up over it. You really shouldn’t feel ashamed for something that you can’t help, it’s not your fault. If you feel especially down, she’ll give you a kiss on the forehead and get some ice cream with you. Something like a meltdown seems exhausting to her. While she doesn’t want to seem like she’s rewarding you for having a meltdown, she does want you to be kind to yourself afterwards, that’s what the ice cream is for. And if you don’t want ice cream, then some berries, fruits or a small snack will suffice as well. Either way, she’s there for you the entire time until you feel better.

[rottenlittlefink]

Ok so I’ve combed through the CIA documents like twice already and like… Guys, the gateway tapes *can* help u shift BUT they don’t *shift* you *for you*. This is why they’re called gateways - the focus levels are states you can enter and then shift from via your own efforts

[ggukkiedae]

personal spiel im adding in the tags again bc im once more feeling kinda emotional

[skrunksthatwunk]

why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.