#they do practically everything for me anyway bc I can’t do shit by myself

[exopelagic]

sudden realisation that the thing holding my art back is that I never had an anime phase

[cottonconnielvr]

Okay so, we’re obviously Connie’s very spoiled girlfriend

Reader had eyes on this really expensive bag that she’s been dying to have. She asked Plug!Connie and he has the audacity to tell us no, just to see how we’d react. Reader starts having a really nasty bratty attitude for a week and now daddy gotta set us straight 🫣

WARNINGS ✩ — squirting, smoking, sloppy messy blowjob, reader calls con daddy, reader is sensitive emotionally,rough sex, crying, handjob,overstimulation + just nasty stuff (may b a couple mistakes bc i didnt feel like re-reading imma do it later tho😭)

JEAN passed the blunt over to Connie, slightly shaking from coughing. Connie, who was sitting on Eren’s couch, shook his head as he scrolled through your ig story. “Swear this lil girl want me to fuck her shit up,” Connie mumbled as he hit the blunt.

Eren laughed from the floor, sitting in a bean bag. “What she do now?”

“She got a lil attitude with me because I told her not to let her fucking demon dog in the room anymore. So now she posting shit she know will make me mad” Connie passed his phone to Eren, letting him look at your story.

“You spoil that girl wayyy too much anyway,” Jean added.

“What you mean?” Connie asked with an attitude.

“She never listen to your ass because you say yes to everything she says. She literally gets whatever she wants from you.” Connie fights the urge to defend his spoiled princess but, Jean was making a point.

“I mean he did kinda do it to himself, not her” Eren passed the blunt to Jean.

“Bro you’re her bitch” Jean says in disbelief. “Shut yo long headed ass up. I am not her bitch” Connie defends himself, although a part of him agreed with Jean. Connie never really did put you in check unless it ended with angry sex. He was never super stern with, just letting you get by with everything.

But that was the way it was supposed to be. You were his spoiled little princess who always got what she wanted because she deserves it more than anyone.

“Just tell her no to see how she reacts”

Connie doesn’t give an answer, just contemplating on it.

“Ight”

“Isn’t she gorgeous baby just look” You practically shove your phone in Connie’s face. Connie looks at the pink purse. “I’ve been obsessing so bad and I neeedd it, please” Your glossy lips pout as you beg.

Connie furrowed his eyebrows, “Mhmm no I think you’re good.” You jerk your head back, trying to process that word, No.

You don’t have a great history with the word no.

“No y/n you can’t have this”

“No y/n you can’t have that”

Why would anyone deny you anything?

“What? Why! What did I do? Why not!?” You whined feeling the need to cry.

“You don’t exactly deserve it. You haven’t been good”Connie fought the urge to smile at you, such a crybaby. “What!? Baby I have what are you talking about?” You sat up, sitting on Connie’s lap.

“Your instagram stories, you keep going to parties I tell you not to go to. You needa get your act together” You gasped, offended that he was acting so nonchalant. He was basically telling you that he didn’t love you anymore.

“So until you fix your attitude then maybe, you can get it” Connie practically brushed you off and reached for his blunt. You sat there frozen for a minute, feeling betrayed and heartbroken.

“Okay Connie.” You said in a monotone voice before getting off of Connie and walking out of the room.

The rest of the week has been hell for Connie.

You had one of the worst attitudes ever, giving Connie silent treatment, short answers, and no sex.Were you trying to kill him?

In your point of view, you weren’t gonna stop until he apologized ( with an apology gift to go with ).

Connie walked in the house, hearing you blast “Me, Myself, and I” by Beyonce. Connie shook his head, obviously understanding the message.

“Baby!” Connie yelled from downstairs.

Meanwhile you sat at your vanity, fixing your hair. Connie opened the door to your beauty room, “You ain hear me calling you?” He asked while squinting his eyes at you. “I guess not.” Connie watched as you rolled your eyes.

Connie leaned on the door, poking his tongue against his cheek. “What’s yo problem?” He finally asked.

You stayed silent.

“I’m talking to you, Y/N.” Connie said sternly.

“Nothing Connie” You stood up, fully showcasing your tight outfit.

“ where you goin” Connie looked you up and down, ignoring his boner and licking his lips.

You were wearing a tight denim mini skirt with baby tee, showing your boobs practically poking out the top. “Just going out” You grabbed your purse which Connie recognized it as a new one.

You had to buy it yourself since no charges came from Connie’s card and you’ve been avoiding him like crazy. Connie knew you were really mad if you start paying for your own stuff. You walked passed him, purposely hitting him with your purse and a small oops leaving your mouth.

Connie just smiled to himself, shaking his head. You were gonna sleep really good tonight.

“What I tell you about walking away from me mama?” Connie followed you to the living room. You didn’t answer, walking to the front door.

You stood a little shocked as Connie sat on the couch. He got pretty comfortable, reaching for his phone out of his pocket.

Just as you reached for the lock, “Y/N come sit down with me”

Your legs practically went numb as you heard the tone in Connie’s voice. He sounded very very stern which meant he was not in the mood to be fucked with.

Your boldness melted away. Your head immediately went down, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

You sat in the loveseat across from Connie, messing with your fishnets. “I said come sit with me Y/N” You didn’t hesitate to move the second he said your name.

Yeah he was pissed.

You walked over to Connie, his hand grabbing yours as he pulls you on his lap. You land on Connie’s muscular thigh, his hand immediately going to your inner thigh.

His touch felt good, your attention now focused on the feeling. His tatted fingers massaging your inner thigh.

“What’s yo problem? Didn’t even care to ask me how my day was,” Connie looked up at you as you stayed silent. A pinch was sent to your inner thigh, making you jump.

“I don’t have a problem Connie. I was just trying to have fun”

“Why you lying to me Y/N” Connie grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

“You just made me upset and I-I just really wanted the bag” Connie’s thumb wiped against your bottom lip, smearing your lip gloss.

“Instead of acting like a brat you should’ve told me that you were upset. I thought we agreed to talk like adults whenever we feel upset with eachother, not do this petty ass silent treatment shit.”

“I’m sorry Con” Your voice small and quiet out of guiltiness.

“I don’t believe you ma” Connie leaned back on the couch, removing his hands from your body.

You whined, missing his touch after you ignored him for days. “I really am daddy”

Connie almost folded at the pet name, fighting the urge to pound you into the couch until your makeup comes off but that could wait. He wanted to make you beg a little longer.

“I don’t believe you. Gonna show me how sorry you are hm?” You quickly nodded, taking place between his spread legs. Your hands immediately went for the band of his sweatpants, tugging them down with eagerness. Connie lifted up his hips, letting you pull down his boxers as well. His cock springing up against his stomach ( his name ain’t connie springer for no reasonnnn)

Your tongue ran up his balls, going all the way up to the tip. “Fuck” Connie mumbled to himself, it’s felt like forever since you’ve gave him a blowjob.

You hollowed your cheeks as you took him down to the base. You flattened your tongue against the underside of his cock, feeling him stuff your throat.

Your hands rested on the floor besides your knees, stabling yourself as you tried to breathe through your nose.

You gagged once you felt Connie buck his hips upwards. Connie’s hands went to your head, keeping you in place.

Your nose was flush against his lower stomach. Connie thrusted up into your mouth, groaning to himself. The more he looked down at you, the angrier he got.

How dare you ignore him and keep this pretty little mouth away from him. You could feel your scalp become sore from the deadly grip Connie had on it.

The sloppy sound of your gags and the wetness of your mouth filled the living room. The scene was so nasty and filthy, your saliva leaking all around Connie’s cock and your mouth.

Your hands tapped at Connie’s thighs. Connie lifted your head up, letting you breathe. Strings of spit connected from your mouth to Connie’s cock, making him groan.

You panted, feeling your sticky lip gloss all over your mouth.

“Stick your tongue out” Connie slowly stroked himself. You stuck your tongue out. Connie slapped his dick around your tongue, making your saliva drip down to your boobs. Connie rubbed his dick all over your lips before bringing it down to your chest.

“F-fuck” Connie moaned deeply. Your eyes watered, feeling so humiliated and used.

“You sorry baby?” Connie asked, slapping your wet cheek. A tear ran down your cheek, running black with your mascara. “Y-yes” You whimpered. Your hands twisted up and down his cock.

“ Gonna b-be g..good for me hm?” You stuck your tongue out, looking up at Connie. You watched as Connie pushed out a glob of spit, it landing on your tongue. You swallowed, Connie slapping your cheek once again. “Look at me ma” Your eyes locked with Connie’s before he pushed your head down on his dick again, moving your head up and down. You moaned lightly, causing a vibration to run through connie’s cock. “Make me c-c..ah..cum” Connie hissed, feeling your take him so deep. Connie could feel his stomach tightening , toes curling, and thighs clenching. “F-fuck baby” Connie pulled out of your mouth, ribbons of white cum squirting in your face. Connie winced as he rubbed his cum into your face with his tip, smearing it all over your lips (since you like lip gloss so much)

Your mascara ran down your face, making you look an absolute mess. a beautiful mess

“f-fuckfuckfuck m’sorry! i-im sorry daddy, i’m s-s..i’m so sorry” Your muffled cries fell on deaf ears, Connie continuing his brutal thrusts. He was fucking you so so so hard.

It hurt so bad but felt so good. Your legs went numb rounds ago and your body was a mess, covered in your own fluids mixed with Connie’s.

Your mouth was open, sending your screams into the silk white pillow. Connie hovered above you, holding onto the headboard as he slammed his hips into you. “F-fuck cum again” Connie ordered you, reaching between your legs to rub your swollen clit.

“I-i can’t-” You gasped out, on the verge of passing out. You gripped onto the cold pillows, trying to pull yourself up and away from his torture. Connie took notice of this and wrapped his hand around your throat, pulling you back.

“You are.” You heard Connie sternly mutter.

You whined, your hand reaching behind you to push Connie away only for Connie to grab both of your hands. He pinned them down on the deep arch in your back, absolutely churning your insides.

“I-i..i promise pa- m’not go..gonna act up anymore” You cried out, loosing all of your body strength.

You body physically went numb altogether, a rush of pleasure washes over you. Your legs shook violently. You let out a scream that you were not aware of, clenching hard on Connie’s cock.

“S-shit” Connie looked down, seeing you wet up his lower body

(“they told me to stay out that water park😔” - future baby daddy connie with his five kids tackling him)

The pressure pushed Connie’s cock out of you, causing him to paint your ass with white ribbons.

Connie took a moment to breathe before he moved from above you, your breathing was now steady and you laid flush into the bed.

Connie squinted his eyes, slowly turning your face. No way this girl is sleep right now I ain done

“Baby...Baby…..Baby” Connie shook your body, waking you up. You whined, going right back to that bratty attitude that Connie loved oh so much.

“Whattt” You were so exhausted, moving was not an option right now.

After a much needed bath, you fell right asleep with just a bra and panties on. You were knocked out, sleeping all the way until 12 pm.

You woke up to just you in the bed, your house ringing silence. (Marshmallow is at a doggy hotel getting groomed #materialgworl💅) Instead of waking up to Connie’s presence you woke up to a box with a note on top of it.

‘Had to leave early and handle some business with Ony, I’ll be back before you know it. Thank me later sexy’

You sat the note aside before taking the top off of the pink box, only to see the very purse the got you in this situation to begin with.

[pinknightsinmymind]

【 let's drive - ellie williams 】

ellie williams x fem!reader

wc: 1.8k

content: modern!au, so much fluff you got a stomachache, cute gf shit, use of pet names(love, baby, princess, babe, etc.), reader and ellie are between 20-21 here for sake of driving laws lol

based off request prompt: I have a really bad fear of driving and I've been trying so hard to get over it but it's just tough, could you possibly write an Ellie x Fem! Reader where Ellie tries to help her get over her fear of driving?

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this! i'm still learning how to drive myself so this was somewhat comforting. i hope yall enjoy this oneshot! and to the person who requested it, i hope you like it as well! this shit had me screaming and crying and throwing up bc ik ellie is one of the sweetest, most gentlest, and encouraging ppl out there.

Your hands shook nervously as you sat in the passenger seat of Ellie’s car. You bounced your leg up and down as you looked outside the window at all your surroundings. Everything blurred together: the street signs, the trees, the buildings, the night sky, all of it. Ellie kept glancing at you as she drove, making sure only to do it at red lights or stop signs. She felt it’d be kind of hypocritical of her to be that kind of bad driver while trying to teach you how to drive.

She finally pulled into the extremely empty parking lot of a local store and parked. She turned towards you and saw how you continued staring at your shoes. She could always read you so easily. She turned down her music, which was a playlist you had compiled for her to play while she drived.

“Hey…you okay?” she asked. You shook your head. “Nervous?”

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be okay. I’m here to help you, alright? Why don’t you tell me what’s making you so nervous.” She offered her hand out for you, and you gladly took a hold of it. The warmth of her hands comforted you as she rubbed her thumb against your skin. It grounded you, in a way.

“I’m just…This whole driving thing, you know? It makes me anxious and scared. Shit, one wrong move and everything’s fucked. Not to mention all the other drivers that are around you and all the rules you gotta remember. And, God, don’t even get me started on freeways. You literally can’t stop. And the idea of possibly getting in an accident scares the shit out of me. So many things could go wrong. Oh, and not to mention, dealing with insurance and all those sorts of things. Parking, backing up into spaces, parallel parking.” You could keep going for hours on why driving was so scary. The idea of having a whole machine under your operation that could quite literally crash terrified you.

“You listed a lot of things,” she commented in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn’t work. “I’m gonna start with the most obvious thing I know you’re scared about. You know, car crashes only ever happen when you’re careless or someone else is doing stupid shit. Mostly everybody driving doesn’t want to get in a crash, so they’ll do their best not to. And you’re not a careless driver, and you won’t be doing stupid shit before or while you’re driving.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“It is true. But that’s why you gotta be careful, babe, and you are. I don’t doubt you’ll be able to pay close attention to everything and maneuver around the idiots who can’t drive.”

“Okay, but what about freeways?”

“That’s what the slow lanes are for. You use them when you’re gonna go slow and when you’re a new driver. You’ll be okay.”

“It’s the fact you can’t stop and that it’s an endless stretch that scares me.”

“Think about it a different way, then. Endless freedom.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her fearless and optimistic attitude. “Of course you’d see it that way.”

“Shit, I’d be a race car driver if I could. Sometimes I sp—Actually, forget I said that. Don’t be like me.”

“Yeah, I bet you were going to say something real insightful then.”

“I said nothing,” she insisted.

“Anyways, what about parallel parking? Or backing up into spaces in general?”

“That’s what practice is for,” Ellie replied.

“Well, what about other drivers? Some of them are such assholes.”

“Fuck other drivers. Literally just don’t care about them or the stupid shit they do, especially if it’s because they think you’re going too slow. They’re not important. You can just flip them off like me.”

“Oh, you mean the famous Ellie Williams technique?”

“Yes, exactly,” she said while smiling at you. She kissed your cheek. “Instead of thinking of all the things that scare you, look at them differently, okay? Don’t see what could go wrong, because then you’ll scare yourself. Just see it as things you want to avoid, and then they become reasons to be careful.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“No, I am right,” she insisted.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure.”

“Still nervous?” Ellie asked, looking you earnestly in your eyes.

“A little bit. I don’t know. The thought of driving makes me feel like everything’s out of my control, but also like there’s too much control in my hands. Does that make sense?”

“I get what you mean, but you can’t let yourself get caught up in that. Have some faith in yourself. You’ll do great.”

“It makes me happy you have such faith in me.”

“Of course I do! My amazing girlfriend is capable of anything. You could even pilot a spaceship.”

“That takes it a bit too far,” you laughed. She laughed a little, too, before getting somewhat serious. She moved a piece of hair behind your ear, staring at you as she was deep in thought. You watched as a smile spread across her face.

“Hey, you know how you call yourself my passenger princess? Because you sit there and look pretty, you give me directions, you handle the aux cord, and I get to touch your thighs?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Well, I love having you as my passenger princess, but just think about it. I could be your passenger princess.” Ellie didn’t particularly like the term for herself, but if she needed to call herself a passenger princess to encourage you, that’s what she’d do. She liked that term better for you since she loved treating you like a princess, but, hey, she saw how much your eyes lit up when she suggested the idea to you.

“Ellie, you’re a genius!”

“On occasion,” she gloated. “You’re free to put your hands all up on me.” You smiled so big, and you seemed so much happier than you did when you first pulled into the parking lot. “You ready to practice driving?”

“Yeah, just one question.”

“Let me hear it.”

“Are you even legally allowed to teach me how to drive?”

“Uh… I should be. But, if I’m not, doesn’t that make it more thrilling?”

“How long have you been driving for?”

“Well, I got my license when I was sixteen, but I learned how to when I was fourteen because Joel taught me.”

“So way before the recommended age.”

“Yeah, but that’s what made it fun,” she reminisced. “I think you have to be twenty-one to teach someone, so we’re good.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath. “I think I’m ready.”

“Alright, let’s get to it.” Ellie opened her door and hopped out. She didn’t move to the passenger side just yet as she waited for you to round the back of her car. She opened the door wide for you to step in, and as you did so she smacked your ass.

“Ellie!” you yelled. She just laughed at you.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” she said, then walked over to the passenger side and jumped in. “Alright, babe, show me what you got. It’ll be okay. I’ll guide you every step of the way.”

You nodded as you took the car out of park and put it into reverse. You back out of the parking spot slowly, then shift back to drive. You made sure to keep a steady foot on the brakes, and in general you were careful as you shifted between that pedal and the gas.

“What now?” you asked. Your heart sped up somewhat, but that was until you felt Ellie rub your shoulders.

“You’ll be okay. Let’s just try driving around. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Yeah.” You slowly drove straight, then when you reached the end of the row of parking spaces, you made a turn into the next area. Ellie stayed silent as she watched you.

“You know more than you think, love. You’re doing great.” You made another turn after that, then another, until Ellie spoke again. “You wanna try parking? You can do it, babe.”

“Sure, I’ll try.” You were nervous as you drove forward until you found a spot you wanted. You were careful as you curved Ellie’s car to the left and parked in the spot, making sure not to get too close to the line that separated the two sides. Once you did that you practiced backing up and parking into the space behind it. After you finished you put the car in park and let out a huge breath. “Oh, God, that was stressful.”

“But you did it!” Ellie cheered. “I’m so proud of you! See, it wasn’t so bad.”

“Well, there weren’t any other people.”

“Don’t discredit yourself like that. The way you drove right now, that’s how you should drive when it comes to being around other people. Don’t let them intimidate you. You've been learning how to drive and practicing for a while, and what you did just now was perfect, okay? Perfect just like you.” You could faint because of the way she looks at you. “Next time you practice, I’ll be with you as you drive around other people, okay? And that can be whenever you wanna do it.”

“Alright.” You nodded as you tried to gather your breath and not get anxious again. Maybe if Ellie was with you it wouldn’t be so bad. You could do it with her by your side. “We can do that in a few days, if you want.”

“I’m off work on Thursday. We can do it then.”

“That works for me.”

“Good.” Ellie looked out the window and stared at the moon before checking the time. 11:34 P.M. “To celebrate,” she said excitedly, “let’s go get milkshakes or something. On me.”

“Really?” you asked.

“Yes. You did such a good job, so of course we’re gonna celebrate it. For the time being, you’re still my passenger princess, so I gotta treat you like it.”

“If you insist.” You undid your seatbelt and hopped out the car as fast as you could. You decided to wait for Ellie as she came out from the passenger side to the driver’s side. You pulled her in by wrapping your arms around her neck. Her hands immediately found your waist as you kissed her in thanks, but also with love. “Thank you for helping me out today.”

“Of course, babe. It was my pleasure.” She gave you another small kiss. “Now hop back in so I can buy you a milkshake.” You unwrapped your arms from her neck, and in the split second she turned around, you smacked her ass harder than she did for you. “Ow!” she yelled, covering her ass as she fell into her seat. “[Y/N], what the fuck?”

“Payback,” you said, as you sauntered over to the passenger side. After you got back in your seat and put your seatbelt on, you noticed Ellie glaring at you. “What?” you asked.

“I changed my mind. No more milkshakes.” She crossed her arms and shook her head comically.

“What? No, please, baby, we have to get milkshakes.”

“Should’ve thought about that before you smacked my ass. That’s my job,” she scolded.

“Are you serious?” you asked.

She shook her head and started laughing. “No. Now where do you wanna get milkshakes from?”

[withlovewriting]

Mixed Drinks and Smoke Rings 23: The Forte of a Woman is The Brain, Not The Body

Chapter Twenty-three: The Forte of a woman is The Brain, Not The Body

Over obsessed with every second I waste her time, She gets aggressive the very second she takes that line, Well, calm down, I hate to see that look on your face, She said it’s hard to escape, But girl, I think you gotta give it a break

Summary: New to town, you didn’t need a friend, you needed a dealer. Thankfully, a girl from your Narcotics Anonymous meetings knew just the guy.

Characters: Fezco (euphoria) x Non-descriptive Reader

Words: 2,924

Chapter Warnings: Talk of drug use, implied threats, implied sexual content, Fez with a gun bc phew

Series Warnings: Addiction, sexual themes, cursing, abuse (various), smut, drug use, teenagers being fucking idiots. 18+ only, minors DNI

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taglist: @iamasimpingh0e​​ @chelseagirl77​​ @zeida​​ @f8talism​​ @alanis-altair​​ @purplebtsmagic​​ @fuckrigthoff​

Walking through the school corridors, you felt like you were dragging cement-coated feet.

"Hey, where'd you run off to at the party?" The boy placed an arm around your shoulder but quickly removed it when you sent him a glare, "OK, hands to myself, I get it. But seriously, where'd you go?"

"I uh, I had some things to sort out."

Sure, everyone who attended the party that night and was sober enough knew it was Fezco who'd attacked Nate, but you weren't about to add fuel to the fire by telling someone who most likely didn't see it and had no obligation to keep the information to himself.

"Where did the rest of the drugs go? The ones I specifically told you not to take without me?"

Shrugging, he sent you a wide smile, "You didn't come back. It would've been rude not to. Feel free to hit me up anytime though, I got a shit ton back at my place."

Sending him a side glance, you couldn't hide the suspicion that was etched on your face. Seemingly understanding, Elliot made himself a little clearer, "I mean, Rue comes over all the time. For real, nothing weird. Just drugs. I'll give you my number."

"Uh, maybe. Yeah."

Elliot raised a brow, noting your distraction, before turning his head. Seeing Jules and Rue seemingly mid-argument, the former turned to leave without so much as a proper goodbye.

"Everything good, Rue?" You questioned, making your way toward your friend, who was hanging her head in frustration.

"I get you in trouble?"

Sighing, Rue glanced between the two of you. Why couldn't she of seen you when Elliot approached her and Jules earlier? Hell, she could've made up the excuse that she knew him through you, and Jules probably wouldn't even question it. It was too late now, though.

"Yeah, kinda."

Throwing his arms over both yours and Rue's shoulder, this time ignoring the glance you sent him, he only smiled, "I feel like we should do drugs."

"I um, I can't. I gotta go head to the store."

"Ah, young love is calling, right?"

Turning your head toward Rue, your brow creased in confusion, prompting Rue to continue, "I mean, Fez practically dragged you outta there, right? Some people were talking about it."

"Uh, yeah. We... I dunno. It was a long night, one I'd really rather forget," shaking your head, you removed yourself from Elliot's hold, "But yeah, I need to go so... Don't have too much fun without me this time."

Rue hadn't mentioned her very near overdose that night to you. Just as you hadn't told her about the little habit you'd picked up from Faye. A 'one-time thing' wasn't really in the vocabulary of an addict.

Walking into the store, you spotted Faye sitting on the freezer box, "Hey, Fezco around?"

Looking up from her carton of juice, she sent you a small smile, "Yeah, in the back."

Faye didn't really care what people thought about her. She was too high most of the time anyway, but even when she wasn't, she knew the realities of how people only gave a fuck when they had something to lose. So why should she care what they thought of her? That was their business, not hers.

But you... She liked you, or was at least, growing to.

She didn't have that many friends, spending most of her time with Custer, but even she knew that your predicament wasn't very normal. She had presumed that you would feel very much like Ash did about her, unwelcoming and rude, giving Fezco an earful when you thought she couldn't hear you.

And yet, you'd sent her kind smiles, and tried to placate Ash, distracting him in hopes that one day, he might not leave the room as she entered. Sure, you weren't exactly friends, but since she had to stay at Fezco's for an undisclosed amount of time, maybe you two could at least be friendly.

You pottered around the store as you did last year, straightening items whilst Fez finished putting out any stock, both meeting back at the till.

Fez was perched on the table, arms wound tightly around your waist and chest pressed to your back as you stood between his legs, tongue battling with a jellybean stuck on your tooth.

Fez's small kisses to your shoulder stopped abruptly when a small voice could be heard from the entry, "Oh, hey."

Turning, you saw Lexi stood with hands clasped behind her back and a timid smile on her lips. But her eyes decieved her. She wasn't there for a friendly chat, and something about her demeanor set you on edge,

"What's up, Lex."

Taking in a deep breath, Lexi finally did what she never had the courage to do. She spoke out.

"Cal Jacob's came to my house," when your face didn't change, she continued, "He was asking about the New Year's party. About who attacked Nate."

"I mean, nobody's stupid enough to actually tell him, right?" You questioned, not too worried. If your classmates wanted to continue their weekend habits, they'd know better than to point the finger at their dealer.

Sighing, Lexi crossed her arms in front of her, nerves on edge, "Well, one person was-"

Stopping abrutly, Lexi's eyes caught a movement in the convex mirror, cursing under her breath as she quickly turned around, pretending to browse the fridge as the man of the hour walked in. As if just the thought of the man was enough to conjure him, like some sort of demon.

"Evening."

Turning his attention toward Cal, Fezco's body remained calm, yet his eyes watched him as he began to wander around the store, "Sup, man."

By the look on Lexi's face, it was clear enough to you both why Cal Jacobs was here, of all places.

Fez pulled his eyes away from the retreating man's back, connecting with Ash's through the fridge door, a silent conversation that told him to be on guard.

Your heart was pounding in your ears as Cal wandered along the small aisle, picking up items just to place them back down, feigning interest.

"You got any spearmint gum?" He asked, passing Faye who, even despite not being at the party or knowing anything about Fezco and Nate, sensed something was up.

You felt his arms tighten around your waist, as if he was ready to push you away from him at any moment, for your sake, not his.

"I don't know man, the gums right here."

Cal passed, a slight smirk on his face as his eyes connected with yours. Your poker face was nowhere as advanced as Fez's, and you only prayed that between Lexi and yourself, neither of you gave anything away.

"I didn't know you two knew each other."

Fez's fingers were now digging into your hips, and he wished he'd just shoved you in the back with Ash the moment Cal came wandering in. You both remained silent, bar your slight nod in his direction. Releasing a huff of air, Cal picked up a stick of gum, returning his attention to Fezco "This your store?"

"It's a family business."

Cal walked around the aisle where Fezco could only see him via the security mirror, the man leaning next to Lexi to pull a pack of candy from the shelf as she stayed as still as a mouse, "So your parents own it?"

"You usually ask this many questions, man?" Fezco's voice remained calm, hiding any worry from his tone, yet you could tell he was on edge.

"Just you," He made his way back toward the counter, eyes dropping down to where Fez's fingers rubbed small circles over your hips, your eyes remaining on the floor below, begging yourself not to make eye contact with the man, "She tell you who I am?"

Fez's eyes widened a little, unsure whether Cal meant Lexi, or you, "Nah, man."

"-Are you a cop?" Faye spoke up, yet it wasn't enough to break the tension.

"No," his hand moved toward his coat pocket as he looked around the group, his face stoic.

Hearing a slight crinkle, you looked up through the fridges, noting Ash grabbing a pistol that was hidden in a cereal box. Holding your breath, you remained still, eyes darting toward Cal's pocket as he fished around, only to eventually pull out a couple of notes.

Yet the threat remained, still keeping you on edge even after you'd exhaled.

"Just a concerned father."

Placing the notes on the bench, Cal began to walk away, only stopped once he had stepped a foot outside, "Oh, tell your father I said I'll see him tomorrow, bright and early."

"What?" Your voice was quiet, but Cal had finally caught your attention, eyes wide as you looked toward him.

"Didn't he tell you? After his arrest, he got let go," you knew that. Of course, you knew that. You’d been discussing his need of a job not that long ago, "Lucky for him, I have a position available. He works for me, now."

His words should've been reassuring, knowing that your life wouldn't fall apart because neither of you could pay the bills, but his tone had just enough venom in to be a threat.

Sending you a dry smile, he finally made his exit, getting in his car before pulling out quickly. Fez had moved you to the side, following him out, just in case. Watching the man's tires screech against the wet concrete, Fez took a deep breath once he was finally out of sight.

Fez wasn't stupid, he knew that Cal knew, and that this wouldn't be the last of him.

Fez returned to the store, his face a little paler than usual, "The fuck was that about?"

His eyes settled on Lexi's as she fidgeted, swapping her weight between her feet, "Cassie. He came over last night, and threatened her. Said he knew that she knew, and he'd get the police to question her if she didn't tell him. That's why I'm here. I'm so sorry, Fezco-"

"Ain't your fault," he sighed, running his hand over his head before leaning against the table and pulling you close to his side, as if you were some sort of security blanket, "Your Dad really ain’t tell you?"

You shook your head, eyes meeting Ash's who had stepped out of the fridge the minute Cal had left, "No. He hasn't said anything."

"I don't think you should be stayin' there tonight. He knows where you live-"

"And you don't think he knows where you live, Fez. You're a way bigger target to him than me right now, maybe you two shouldn't stay there."

Shrugging, Fez shook his head, "Grandma."

Understanding, you nodded your head before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, hand delving into his pocket as he raised a brow at you. Pulling the cigarette pack from him and placing one behind your ear as he always did, you sighed, "I gotta get going anyway. Got a meeting."

You could feel Lexi's wide eyes on you, making you feel slightly uncomfortable talking about a NA meeting when you knew she also knew you weren't sober.

If this was what shame felt like, it could take a long run off a short bridge.

"Want me to drop you?"

Accepting a small, chase kiss from Fez, you placed your hands on his chest, "No, I uh... I think after that I could do with the fresh air. See you later."

Fez dug through his pockets for a second, grabbing his key out and placing it into your back pocket, "Come round after, alright?"

You nodded, before turning to Lexi, sending her a soft smile, "And thanks. For the warning."

Your words might've seemed sarcastic, since she actually didn't get to warn you about Cal, but she tried. And that was enough for you. Sending you a polite nod, she mumbled a goodbye as you left.

Deciding to scrap the idea of a meeting, you pulled out your phone and dialed a new number. Answering right away, Elliot sounded a little confused until you told him who it was.

"Shit, didn't think I'd actually hear from you. If you're looking for Rue, you-"

"No, I'm not. I know where Rue is," most likely at the meeting that you were currently skipping, "You still got some shit on you?"

You heard a huff of laughter, almost sounding condescending, but ignored it as the next lot of words left his mouth, "Always. I'll drop you my address."

20 minutes later, you were at Elliot's door, sending his sister... cousin... maybe even girlfriend -- You didn't know, nor care -- a polite smile as Elliot led you into his room, shutting the door with a slight slam.

"You should probably know, I'm already really, really high. Rue came over earlier, so..."

Wiping your nose, the powder causing your nostril to itch, you shrugged, "It's fine, I don't care."

"You didn't go to the meeting?" Stopping short, your head popped up as you sent him a perplexed stare, a second, neat line just waiting for you "Rue said that's how you met. Pretty fuckin' ironic if you ask me."

"Well, I didn't ask you." You glared before angrily leaning down to snort the rest of the line.

Eyes widened, Elliot stuttered a little, "Shit, no. I didn't mean anything by it just... I dunno. I thought it was-"

"Hypocritical?" Pushing yourself against the boy's headboard as he sat on the floor below, he shook his head at you.

"No. Funny. Just... kinda funny."

When he struggled to hold in a smirk, you felt your own lips pull, a hearty laugh forcing its way out of your chest, Elliot's own cackle following after. You supposed it was pretty ironic.

You'd hoped the fresh air would've sobered you up as you stumbled toward Fez's house, deciding you'd take him up on his offer, but alas the slow walk did fuck all.

Pushing the door open, you managed to send it flying, the handle hitting the side panel behind it, "Shit, fuck... shh," you whispered, as if it was the door's fault.

Stumbling past the living room, you had to force yourself not to just collapse onto the couch and pass out there, tiredness making your eyes burn and the need for sleep causing your already not great agility to falter even more as you shin bone caught the edge of said couch.

"Sorry, shit..." you huffed, a side glance toward Faye who was fast asleep on the opposite couch.

You stumbled into the bathroom, not bothering to turn the light on as you shut yourself in, hands gripping the sink as you tried to stop your heart from beating right out of your chest.

The door creaked open, and before you knew what was happening a gun was thrust to the back of your head. Releasing a yelp, you span around too high to actually be aware of the danger behind your actions.

"Fuck, Ma. I could've blew your fuckin' brains out." Fez sighed, his eyes squeezing shut when he realized it was you. Running his hand over his head, gun still clenched tightly, he sighed, "What you doin' getting in so late, making a shit ton of noise?"

"Sorry, I just... I had to pee real bad, and it was dark." You whispered, a feeble smile gracing your lips, hoping that due to the darkness, Fez wouldn't be able to see the size of your pupils.

Seemingly forgiving your sudden invasion, he pressed a small kiss to your forehead, "You get to bed, I'ma go lock up."

Crawling into bed, you let out a long exhale, relishing in both the warm bed, and your sweet high. When the bed dipped next to you, indicating Fez was back, you turned toward him, lifting a leg up over his pelvis and snuggling into his side, body desperate for sleep.

"Everythin' good at the meeting?"

Keeping your eyes pressed together, you forcefully swallowed before nodding, hoping he'd get the hint that you didn't want to talk about it. Unfortunately for yourself, Fezco wasn't the best at reading social cues.

"How long you got left of meetings? Or is it like, a lifetime thing?"

"I don't know Fez." You mumbled, pushing your face further into his chest as his fingertips traced swirls into your thigh. He knew you weren't exactly sober, but you were fully aware that he didn't know how bad it had got, especially since he hadn't been the one to supply you with drugs for a while.

"What about Rue? She good, or she still-"

Using the last remaining energy in your body, you pushed yourself up, sliding your leg all the way over him and straddling his hips, pressing a forceful kiss to his mouth, "I don't wanna talk about Rue right now."

He grunted as you rocked your hips against his, your tongue pushing it's way into his mouth before creeping down his neck as your fingers pushed up his grey shirt, dancing along his abdomen.

His own hands gripped your hips, fingertips playing with the lace band of your underwear before pushing you down harder onto him.

You should've felt a little amoral, using sex against him, but it was a sure-fire way to both distract him, and stop the guilt in your veins bubble.It would also guarantee a peaceful night sleep for the both of you, Ash and Faye’s ears be damned.

[rahleeyah]

So I read a lot of fic lol and one of the things I find so funny is that authors either write that Liv still can’t cook a thing and still gets takeout for everything or they’ll say she had to learn for Noah’s sake and now she’s actually a decent cook. (And as someone who now lives alone and had to grow up and figure some shit out and has actually gotten pretty good at cooking now if I do say so myself it really isn’t that hard so I’m usually team liv figured out how to use her kitchen for Noah’s sake)

Anyways I always have this head canon (that I’ve never wrote out but maybe I should) that when liv got Noah she got a phone call from Nick’s abuelita who was like “my Nicky tells me you have a baby and you cannot cook anything” 😂 and then Liv goes to her house and learns how to cook. And probably Barba’s mom and Mrs. Carisi teach her some things too cuz I want to believe they shared more time together than could be shown on screen.

Anyways I’m thinking about this mainly because there’s been some fics from Mrs. McCann’s POV and obvs she’s an excellent cook. And that’s not to say liv doesn’t get takeout often I’m sure she still does but I mean she’s also an adult with a child I’m sure she learned how to make some meals😂

You mention food a lot regarding svu and how it was nice in 1.0 when the characters sat down to meals together and how it made them very human which I totally agree with so I was wondering if u had any thoughts?

Have a great day!! Happy L&O Thursday!! ❤️

I love this so much thank you friend!!

So the thing is like. 1.0 Liv doesn't ever cook, it's established there's no food in her fridge, she's always getting delivery. There's a scene early in s13-14 where she is actively trying to cook at home when Nick brings her bad news and she throws her half cooked dinner in the sink, as if she no longer has the strength to keep trying (or as if she no longer thinks she deserves it, but that's another post). By s15 she is throwing dinner parties, of the manic kind (@calliopecantaloupes being of course the expert on the trauma response dinner parties). When Noah is going thru his particularly unbearable phase we see Olivia actually making dinner for him and trying to get him to eat his vegetables.

So my theory is that Liv always knew how to cook in theory, but never spent the time on it in practice. When you're just cooking for one delivery is so fucking easy, and she's barely ever home, why bother? I live alone and I love to cook and I'm pretty good at it and I know a lot about it and I cook once a week on Sundays and heat up leftovers or order in every other night of the week. It's not lack of knowledge that held her back, it was lack of need. She just didn't have to.

Now we know Cassidy cooks, at least a little, and cooking with someone is a special kind of intimacy, and I like to think he taught her some recipes. But then he's gone. But then she has a baby.

And Olivia is devoted to being a Good Mom. She sings to Noah she's working with him on his speech she's buying him all the little toys and outfits and trying so fucking hard. I absolutely think Liv started to cook more - not learn to, bc she already knew how, but started to actually do it - bc she had a child and feeding her child is important emotionally and practically.

But she took the boy to get shake shack this season, she is not above a return to her old ways lol

But I love your thought bc I love the idea of all these older women who are tangentially connected to Liv - Nick's mom even looks after Noah! - taking her under their wing and I love the idea of Noah growing up in this rich and varied quasi family with influences from multiple cultures/traditions, not being any one thing but being deeply loved.

But I do think Elliot can't really cook (beyond one or two set meals like spaghetti or whatever) and if I see one more fic that treats cacio e pepe like it's a fancy complex dish that Elliot "learned" how to cook while he was in Italy I am going to start biting people

[arrogantsuggestion]

I honestly think you should be called smth more like ‘assertivesuggestion’ bc honey these are not arrogant, you’re just spitting facts all the time! It’s true, we are all inherently worthy as people and none of us need to put up with shit 😌

first off— thank you sweetie!☺️ and you are deffffinitely right on that last part too. I do have my reasons though! (warning: this shit ended up pretty lengthy… get a snack or smth)

So I’ve gotten a lot of asks like this over the years, and my main response has been: it’s called arrogant suggestion because if you live this true to yourself, the insecure & mean people in life WILL call you arrogant. And personally, after escaping various abuses, I straight up was not prepared to be seen as arrogant when I had just started genuinely loving and prioritizing myself. so I call this blog arrogant suggestion, and always have, because I am wary of people who come at me, and now I try to be prepared for it. Like, go ahead, call me arrogant, but I know who I really am. I know the effort I put in to loving myself and the people around me.

And from another perspective, some people who have submitted posts in the past have reallly used this platform as a venting ground for all sorts of stuff, and I wanted to leave the original intention pure, in a way. As if to say something like: if you can go through everything you’ve gone through, make it out, and STILL get called names for pulling yourself outta there, you have complete and total permission to disregard your haters. even and especially when they call you arrogant. (Like this blog is not solely positivity. It’s got the other halves to it too. Like it’s more about trying to empower kind people [like you] to not be torn down by other people being assholes. cus their intolerance is most likely not about you anyway)

also calling it arrogant suggestion, to me, is almost a nod to the ethos behind our individual self-preservation. Like, by calling myself arrogant, I’m challenging You to think critically about what I’m saying. Some people have gone in the replies of hyperspecific posts and been like “this is not a healthy way to live your life” but like.. not every post I make (or some stranger sends in) is true and endemic to the entire world. Sure I have some posts that are like “every day is beautiful!” But even if you go around to everybody on the street with that, you’re eventually gonna find someone who wants to combat you on it. Not necessarily because you’re wrong, but because they can’t see you’re right. And they might call you arrogant when you leave that conversation. But I want anyone and everyone to be prepared to go home, look themselves in the mirror, and know who they are (without those rudeass opinions clogging up their minds!).

So I suppose, (because I’ve gotten so many asks about this,) if you find that the blog title “arrogantsuggestion” bothers you, may I suggest that perhaps you can let that go, as practice to letting go of the things that are actually legitimately hurting you?

And guess what? if that thought experiment is irrelevant to you, you can totally dismiss all of that too! Shit if you want you can even call me arrogant for assuming shit—whatever! idc! It’s up to you! just like everything else! :) this blog to me is like an experiment or a lesson or practice for and in critical thinking & decision making. god that’s complicated. but if I said I was assertivesuggestion I think people would assume I’m just Right more often (which is the opposite of what I want). I ACTUALLY want people to do that thinking of “do I agree with this? or do I think it’s bullshit? because that decision is personal and entirely up to me.” (honestly because I never got that practice enough and I think it set me back. Led me into abusive relationships where I couldn’t figure out what was bullshit or not. So like ya I’m not gonna change my thing to assertive suggestion just because you think I’m right. Even though I am right sometimes, defending one singular moral truth all the time defeats the purpose of the blog imo.)

Fuck hahaha that shit is sooo complicated. I can’t believe this turned out to be such a long explanation too lmao like normally I just don’t answer these… BECAUSE ITS SO COMPLICATED HAHA ! anywayyyyy thank you for all the kind words you said💖💖 & I hope you have a great day💕💝💝

[loved2]

221122

I’ll just say this month has been heavy as fuck.

My life has been so imbalanced since my birthday (oct 29) which has been frustrating to say the least bc i was very hopeful my birthday would bring more ease and just open up more paths for me. I’ve been putting in so much work this year and i feel more stagnant than ever at this point. It feels like all that work, time and energy has been put to waste. To make it worse, i’m very burnt out atm so i can’t even work on getting this sorted out lmao. Lost everything at the beginning of this year (literally) and it’s insane how i am continuing to lose things i didn’t even think were possible :s.

Anyway i’m so tired of changing, transforming, healing. But there’s no way around it i guess. I’ve been getting so many messages from others about the heavy energy atm. I’m hoping this new moon will lighten things up for us 🤍 I’m not going to recommend to work on yourself for the rest of the year or to complete the rest of your goals/plans or whatever. Just give yourself what you need. Even if it’s sitting around doing absolutely nothing. Let’s stop figthing to feel fulfilled and going after things that will give us temporary satisfaction. Listen to your body. Be kind to yourself. Let go of those fucking people if they’re weighing too heavy on you. Stop trying to be perfect or to “fix” yourself. Stop ignoring your emotions bc you’ve got shit to do. Maybe we just need to release everything instead of constantly taking on more.

Something that keeps coming up for me this week is “the body keeps score”. It absofuckinglutely does. Let us treat our bodies with grace please. With an influx of external energies the best we can do is be strong in our mind and body. The rest will come when it needs to. Let us be present. No more fighting for the future or concerning ourself with the past. It literally doesn’t fucking matter. What are we even here for if not this exact moment.

This time last year i was at my lowest of lows (seems to be a pattern lmao). I listened to Jessie Reyez - No one’s in the room (which i’ll recommend to anyone who will listen) everyday and journaled about it. I was taking 10K steps everyday bc i was going insane lmao. Helped me lose weight which i desperately wanted gone either way so i was happy about that. I was high almost everyday which allowed me to gain so much clarity. I built such a strong sense of self and i finally felt like i knew myself again. Also helped me to start planning for 2022 which went so well bc i started early and clearly knew what i wanted. So that extremely low period ended up giving my exactly what i needed.

This time around its different. I’m sober. Substances don’t give me the clarity i seek anymore so i don’t even do it for fun. I’m too tired to go on walks. People keep messing up my schedule and i can’t really say no bc of difficult (family) circumstances. Finally made some friends then realized these girls are just not a fit for me. Work is so draining and i have creative block. Healing is so heavy and it feels like its getting worse instead of the other way around. My health is terrible eventhough i’ve taken it so serious this year and got lots of consults. Even holistic healing isn’t going well. My family treats me like a slave and also doesn’t notice i’m crying for help but when do they ever lol. There is nowhere i can escape to. Not even my mind. I’ve been praying but it seems no one is listening. I wish my mother was still alive. My meditation practice feels so empty for some reason for the past 2 months. There is a lot to fix to say the least lmao. Either way i’m still optimistic about all of this. I don’t feel like venting everytime i come on here and i hate dropping all of this heaviness here so i’ll end it with this. I miss this space so much and i think i’ll come back soon. I’m using these 30 days to get back to myself in some way. I don’t know how it’ll go. Not working is not an option atm but atleast i’m not putting any deadlines for myself for the first time this year. No routine or plan or whatever. I’m just craving some shadow work maybe eventhough i do that all year long. Maybe a different approach this time. Also discovered i have a BAD food trauma which i need to get sorted out asap. I might also have magnesium deficiency bc no way i’m this depressed and tired. Also breaking ties with anyone who needs to go as if i have any ties to break at all. Doing whatever the fuck i feel like i guess. Trying to eat well. Hoping my meditation will go back to normal. Lots of journaling. Mirror work. Crying. Maybe i’ll do some reading if i can find the time for it. Baking, cooking. I’ll be spending most of day outside like last year but with my puppy this time 🤍 I’ve tried everything so this is my last hope lmao. I’m positive. I’m wishing you all the best my angels. Happy new sag moon, may this bring the expansion we’ve been waiting for 🐚 Btw my puppy’s name is Jupiter lol and her bday is nov 25! My little baby is turning one in a few days. I am going to cry. If there has been one highlight this year, it’s certainly her.

[nonbelievermp3]

stress 😵‍💫

so much shit is happening at work rn and i so badly want to just quit and like. never go back to that place but i can’t for so many reasons and i’ve also maybe just lost the trust of someone who i thought of as a friend bc i could not associate myself w his anger and shitty coping mechanisms and his way of making everything worse for my other friends at work and it all just sucks, it feels so awful and i hate being in this situation. i don’t even know what to say to him because i have absolutely no power in this situation and i want to be on his side but he’s acting like a child and i’m willing to risk my job for a good cause but i’m not willing to burn all my bridges for someone’s else’s misdirected and extremely half baked revenge plot. also this is why i’m not friends with FUCKING MENNNNNNN he’s pulling the worst Male Communist shit rn by wanting to do what’s best for the group in theory but in practice just being selfish and destructive and vengeful!!! and it is so frustrating to watch. also the way that i am being forced to think abt all this shit and i’m being paid $11 an hour and working my ass off every goddamn day and watching everyone’s mental and physical health deteriorate and i get why he’s mad, i get why he’s full of rage, but i just don’t have that Man Urge to make shit worse to feel better and i never will idk. also a lot of this is guilt bc i feel like i made him feel like i was on his side and then i wasn’t but that was bc i didn’t know how violent and shit he was getting at work when i wasn’t around like throwing shit and yelling and kicking boxes and making my partner and my close friend who is my manager feel like. genuinely afraid to tell him to do his job. but i still feel so bad idk i feel like something is clearly wrong w me to be like aw shit now i gotta be responsible for this grown man like girl. no you do not.

anyways this ^

[borderline-gays-club]

12/23/23. 10:48 am

I’m more deeply realizing how much time BPD takes away from you. And I’m thinking abt this is my present self not even just from the past.

Bc it’s easy to see how much time BPD has taken away from me: from substance abuse times, being in fucked up relationships/situationships, being an addict in general, deep chronic depression, etc etc.

And now that I’m past the most chaotic self and leaning into some semblance of internal stability, I’m really looking at it from this current perspective.

I was chatting with my friend abt how I’ve been a lot less triggered lately. Or if I do get triggered I can move thru it with much more ease and can get myself to a neutral state much faster. And I realized it’s bc I’ve had a lot more time to myself these days, and I’ve been able to move through life at a slower pace. Which is still not slow enough imo, bc I’m still constantly stressed abt money and the future but it’s worse with that stress on top of being overly burnt out.

I’ve only been working one day a week for the past 2 ish months which has been a blessing. I’ll have to go back to my 30 hours nxt month but im glad I just had this time I did get. Moneys been fully fucked lol, but honestly I’ve been learning how to still make the best of what I have. And after this month I’ll b ok again financially. More or less.

Anyway, working thru BPD triggers takes a lot of TIME. Like long term and short term. The long term work is that consistent daily practice (if not daily as much as possible) of learning urself, reflecting, learning skills, etc etc. and that takes a lot of time. When I was working btwn three jobs I sure as hell did not have the time or energy to be reflective. Burnt out means im on edge and brain dead lol. I can’t work with that. And now I’ve been taking Monday fully to myself where I have no responsibility for anyone but myself. And these mondays have been great. Even tho I’ll prob only have one more fill day to myself bc of a new job, I think I’ll still do like a half day or something.

As someone with BPD, I really need time to recharge and b fully alone. I need that time everyday and I need it every week. I’ll work with the time I’ll have.

And then going back to the short term working thru triggers, that shot can take hours or even overnight to really work thru that immediate intensity of feeling. And I’ve noticed I’ve been getting better at it. It’s still difficult but this process is slow and I’m really learning patience.

I remember the question being posed on a Reddit BPD thread, “if you could get rid of ur BPD wud u?” And I remember at the time I thought no I wouldn’t. It’s everything I know, it makes me me and it’s my whole personality. But now I fully don’t feel that way at all. Not even a little bit. If there was a magical pill or solution that cud immediately get rid of it I would think twice. That shit wud b gone!!! It’s because I’m slowly revealing my personality and identity that’s been buried under this godforsaken disorder. And I’m grateful for these constant shifts and changes that I’ve been consistently going thru.

And it’s crazy bc I haven’t been going to therapy nearly as much bc I’ve been broke as shit and yet I’m able to make active change within myself. It’s really amazing. Also not saying I don’t need therapy lol, if anything I still need at least two therapists. But under these tight and undesirable circumstances I’m still able to work thru all of it.

Anyway I guess In conclusion BPD just steals ur time away and it feels like a full time job that I’m constantly working overtime at with no pay lol. But it’s possible for this full time job to slowly become part time and eventually just become a little side gig haha. Im grateful everyday for this diagnosis (not for the disorder), bc now I know how to move forward. Since I got diagnosed my life has changed so dramatically.

[la-lauren]

I love her and she is doing nothing wrong. In fact, she’s doing EVERYTHING right. She knows how to handle my triggers (this is so huge), and she speaks life into me when my fears are holding on for theirs.

I wish I could play the conversation we had tonight. She spoke to me in ways I have only dreamed of being spoken to. She validated my feelings (important first step!!!) and then walked me through the fears.

But I think this is sending me straight into the arms of my eating disorder, and it is not her fault.

One of my biggest triggers is my own body. It was a miracle in itself that we had the sex we had this weekend. I’ve NEVER had sex that good. I’ve never been able to let go of my disgust of my body long enough to enjoy sex. I didn’t think it was possible. She isn’t hung up on her body seemingly at all, but she said she has never met someone and gone to bed with them so quickly. Me either, at least in this context. Anyway, I had an amazing time.

I triggered myself today bc I wanted to send a nsfw selfie to her since she had sent me one this morning. I tried several times but my body just made me want to throw up. Which sent me into a mental spiral — “this is what she sees, and I can’t deal with this.”

Her voice was so calm, so full of genuine care, when she said things like, “Yes, it is what I see, but your opinions about what we’re seeing are not my opinions. I will tell you this every day if you need to hear it, but I love every inch of your body and can’t wait to keep exploring it.”

She means it too. The girl kept trying to kiss every part of my body, including my belly, but I kept redirecting her because it activates my gag reflex.

At some point, she was like, “Your body could be bigger or smaller or whatever, and you will always be so sexy to me because of who you are. You are the kind, caring, communicative woman I fall harder for every day, and the body you inhabit deserves to feel good no matter what form it takes.” Obviously I’m paraphrasing, but it’s not far off.

I ended up in fetal position, naked, crying on my bed. This conversation was purely uplifting, but I still can’t accept what she’s saying.

And because of that, I can’t bring myself to eat.

On top of all of that, she is very practical and essentially said I need to get my shit together. She doesn’t mind helping now but wants me to finish the degree, take steps to move to LA, fix the credit, etc. She made it very clear it isn’t about results but about trying. She called me tf out and said she knows I’m doing enough to scrape by but she knows it isn’t the life I want, and she is ready for US to have the life WE want, together, traveling the world and just being comfortable. She (of course) wants a balanced relationship (as do I) financially and wants to live together before getting married.

I was stuck on “Demise” by Hannah Hill for several days, but now I’ve switched over to “Renegade” by Big Red Machine & Taylor. It just feels fitting.

Very “Is it insensitive for me to say “get your shit together so I can love you””-esque of my life now.

Maybe this is the crossroads. A spiritual, physical, emotional love pure enough to break some of my chains… but I have to get my shit together to fully experience it.

The eating thing though, I really don’t know how to address it. I never want to make her feel like she’s causing me harm, but her body and eating habits are massively triggering tf out of me. I can’t say that to her. Her existence shouldn’t trigger me, and if it does, I’m fucked.

She still only eats once a day and very little.

I seem to have adapted the habit. I’m very hungry now but terrified to eat because I hate my body, especially in relation to hers.

If I ruin this relationship with my fears, I will scream from the rooftops.

[toomuchdickfort]

Ok um. Potential medical grossness down here, it’s just a minor thing but I’m icked out and need to Stop letting this bounce around in my brain or I’m gonna make myself sick

SO. I have a habit of biting at my fingers. Bad habit, I know, it came from biting my nails short and one time dad mentioned an ingrown toenail from clipping his nails too short and I very promptly got Terrified of getting an ingrown fingernail and started biting at the skin around the edges of my nails too to try and prevent this. Ik that’s not how it works now, but it’s a habit.

Starting off strong, yeah? Gets worse.

SO. I like needlefelting. I’ve been making moths recently. But the thing is I’m stubborn and work on as small a scale as I can do using the leather thimbles isn’t really an option I’m willing to use bc I gotta know what the hell im doing and if the piece you’re stabbing is small enough u can’t see it then u damn well wanna feel it. Which leads to getting urself in the finger every so often. I think this may be related bc I recently got myself in the finger in this area a couple times and it fuckin sucked, if ur needlefelting keep the things away from the edges of ur nails, shit hurts like hell. But um.

SO. I said that I’ve a habit of biting my fingers yea. Well um. Caught myself doing that tonight and realized I’ve got like a yellowish scab or smth there and also where id been biting there was pus now. Um. This is the bit that makes me feel kinda sick bc I KNOW it’s just from my body and with blood and hair and skin I don’t really CARE but this is DIFFERENT and the idea that I might’ve swallowed pus is like legit sickening. Um anyways. A ways back when I got a p rough scrape from biking I looked up what a yellow scab means and it was like well if it’s not from a scrape it could be a sign of infection. And I mean this is a very small injury anyways but I basically tweezers off the scab bc I was Determined to wash the area well and if there’s smth I can get off/out I wanna and I put on some antibiotic and a bandaid which I usually don’t bother with bc I’m very lazy u see but rn I’m a little bit trying not to let myself freak out about the matter. I’ve set timers for 12 hours from when I put the bandaid on to take it off, look it over, wash it again, etc etc, and I’ve done everything I can for now so like there’s no practical point in having a freak out abt it now bc at this point I can’t really do much abt it that I haven’t already but the point of this post is mainly to ramble out my thoughts bc if I put them out for the public or say it out loud that usually helps my brain stop rattling the same shit around so

[kultured-kuromi]

Tw: heavy vent, topic of suicide, and self harm

I’ve had this in drafts for a few weeks just added on as I felt sad so if it seems jumbled that’s why

Idk how to add the little page break thing on tumblr mobile so if you’re sitting here scrolling for a minute I’m genuinely so sorry

So every winter my depression gets extremely bad as it does with most people so it’s no shocker that I’ve been in a slump for the past month but it’s bad this time the last time I could remember it being this bad was when I went through with my first attempt in 7th grade and I’m ngl I’ve heavily been thinking about trying to make another attempt on my life I don’t only for my younger siblings I can’t handle the thought of them walking in on my dead body which they inevitably would (my brother wakes me up every morning) and everytime I think about this scenario I start spiraling it’s hell but yeah not gonna kill my self ig. I’ve been using quite literally all my strength not to relapse and start self harming again I’ve been clean since November and I’m really trying to break the addiction but it’s so hard and I don’t really have any other coping mechanisms. In all honesty tho the real reason I don’t go back to cutting is bc I threw away what I was using to do it and I have like actual knives but I’m scared of going to deep (kinda ironic ig). So I’ve had a group of friends since last February (feb 2022) there’s been 3 main people with others along as well I don’t feel like going into our whole history but a cliff note version of it is we started hanging out in feb in may I started dating person B in July I broke it off with B and ever since it’s basically been me vs B (the others occasionally joining me) well I started talking to B in November after not talking to him for 2 months and shit was great it was basically how it was back before we got together he even got me a shiny Pokémon for my birthday (which means a lot to me) but practically since it’s been new year’s he went back to how he was in September (when we first stopped talking) just an asshole we obviously were annoyed by each other then we got in a “fight” so we stopped talking again anyways so that was Sunday I didn’t have school Monday but Tuesday and Wednesday he’s still been hanging around my group which is fine they’re his friends to but like I hate it bc they’re not talking to me pretty much at all throughout the day bc the only time I see person A and C person B is also there… it feels like he’s stealing my friends from me even my moirail (person A) is hanging out with him more and they don’t even like him so I feel left out completely I feel invisible and alone but not alone bc when I was alone it didn’t even feel this painful I just sit there in silence tears in my eyes but not letting them fall I stare off into space with one AirPod in trying to now ignore the outside world making little stories in my head with my f/os but in reality I just want my moirail to hug me and let me know everything’s alright and that I’m not losing anyone and that if I were to kill myself they would care they would be upset by it stuff like that but no nothing. I haven’t been able to do any school work bc of my mental state even if I take my meds (adhd meds I should probably clarify) which is weird bc my meds always keep me on track but not now ig fuck for example I have like 6 algebra assignments that become 0s tomorrow and I frankly just don’t care. When people I know tell me they don’t have tiktok i always laugh at them like c’mon it’s not that bad but it is it is that bad for example I posted a few videos of my face today and I got tons of comments fat shamming(which really helps my eating disorder but whatever),being called poor, and genuine trans + homophobia I have some pretty tough skin when it comes to these comments usually but if you haven’t noticed I’m a single problem away from violently killing myself so these comments got so bad that I had to private my account which in my 8-9 years on the internet i have never had to do. I think that’s it idk.

Oh there is actually one more thing I want to mention this happened months ago but has been pissing me off since so to put this lightly I had a dream where Murdoc from Gorillaz sexually assaulted me (yes Ik he would never do this but I can’t control my dreams) I have trauma when it comes to stuff like this bc I was sa’d as a child and I’m on the asexual spectrum so I don’t like to think of my f/os in a sexual light anyways I go to vent in my discord server that has all my friends in it looking for support (even though they were all asleep venting then makes me feel better) so I feel really dirty and sad bc again this was a sa related dream I post a kinda detailed version of the dream in #venting channel then Person B starts typing and replies with “nice fanfic” and I wish I fucking screenshoted that bc wtf dude it’s bc he’s never had/really heard about a sa situation i understand that but still why?

Vent Over

if you read this thanks ig it’s just nice to know an another living body knows my problems so I’m not necessarily suffering alone <3

TL;DR I really need a hug ffs

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader 

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands 

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better 

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor 

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever 

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal 

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh 

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head 

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard  

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing 

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it 

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager 

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking 

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3 

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public  

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy 

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there 

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie 

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain 

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite 

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does) 

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart 

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute 

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage 

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS 

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough 

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands 

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while 

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis 

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie 

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary 

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land 

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,) 

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored 

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea 

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn 

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself 

miss girl is an AMAZING cook 

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all 

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out 

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest 

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical 

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to 

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks 

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue 

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES 

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you 

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something 

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for 

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on 

this man,,, THIS MAN 

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful 

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him 

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse 

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″ 

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him? 

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest 

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute 

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg 

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together 

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck 

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him 

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day 

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3 

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!! 

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met 

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3 

[lacheri]

Okay so... you might not even take requests but I’ll give this a shot anyway bc I love everything you write. I fucked up at work big time today and I feel tremendously anxious and guilty. Which made me think... Levi scenario with gf reader messing up on the field? I know he’d prob be harsh af at first but maybe... some fluff in the end? ): only if you want ofc.

hi nonnie! sorry for taking a few days to write this! but I hope u like it <3 (sorry to hear about your bad day btw ):)

accidents and apologies

pairing: dom!Levi x sub!fem bodied reader

content: canonverse, impact play, mild choking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex/creampie, oral (f receiving), some humiliation/degrading, reader is clumsy and Levi is mean, minors DNI

wc: 3.2k

Fat tears sat in thick clusters on the brim of your lash line, a hiccupping sob racking your body. You were as good as dead, having possibly made the biggest fuck up of your military career thus far. Titans seemed like ants in comparison, the fly that buzzes by your ear that irritates you to no end. Levi’s odm gear sat in pieces on the floor, and somehow this loomed over you like the Colossal titan, maybe even larger.

The polish container sat forgotten on your captain’s desk, the wipe slipping from your trembling hands. Your bottom lip quivered, your lungs filling with air quickly as you slumped to the floor next to the shattered metal. Your off duty position of being Levi’s assistant was practically over, it had barely even begun. You had begged for this job for weeks now, only a few days into being his helping hand, you reflected on how poorly of a job you’d done.

It wasn’t enough you had gotten Levi’s tea wrong this morning, adding sugar to the steaming mug, thinking he’d like a change in taste. He didn’t, immediately spitting the liquid out, cursing you into guilt on the spot. To try to make it up to the ravenette, while he was on his lunch, you sat at his desk and began to organize his paperwork by date of importance. You felt pride as you finished with the three piles of stacks, putting fresh ink in his pot for his quill. However, Levi was horribly furious to see what your regret had manifested into. How were you supposed to know he liked his documents organized by date of assignment, not what was most important?

This was the cherry on top, Levi leaving for dinner, mentioning that his gear did need some polishing. Surely, you wouldn’t fuck this up, he thought as he closed the door to his office behind him. How wrong the man had been though. Within minutes, your fingers became slippery, losing your grip on the cold metal as watched in horror as it clattered to the floor, breaking on impact. It didn’t make much sense, how could it have broken? Wasn’t the gear meant to outlast a titan’s grip? Especially Levi’s trusty gear, you couldn’t fathom how his gear was now laying in pieces on the floor.

You sucked back your sob as you heard the creek of the door, your heart falling straight down to the pit of your stomach. Of course Levi would be back before you recite your apology a thousand times over in your head. You heard the thud of his boots hit the floor as he walked over, seemingly calm.

“Oi, what are you doing on the floor?” he barked out, you could feel his presence looming from behind you.

You turned your head up, his face blurry from the rush of tears in your eyes, “Sir, I am so sorry.”

His grey eyes flickered in front of you, finally taking notice of his broken gear. His lips twitched in a deep frown as he sucked in air through his nostrils harshly.

“Get up, cadet,” Levi spoked venomously, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

You hurried to your feet clumsily, trying your hardest to quell your cries from your throat. You faced him, head downturned, attempting to steady your racing heart rate and the tremors in your bones. Whatever control you thought you had slipped from your grasp the second your captain’s lips parted.

“Never in my life have I met someone as insolent as you,” the harshness of his words kept your eyes on his boots, fresh teardrops rolling down your cheeks. Levi was not going to speak to the crown of your head though, and his hand gripped your chin to force your eyes up, looking directly into his own. “You’re going to look at me while I talk to you, understood?”

You nodded, but this was not what Levi was searching for, “Your words, cadet.”

“Yes, sir,” it came out of your mouth as a squeak.

“You want to explain to me why my odm gear is broken?”

“It slipped,” you hiccupped, violently shaking under his fierce glare. “I couldn’t catch it in time. Captain, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” he bemused darkly in disbelief. “This is the third time today you’ve fucked something up, and you’re just sorry?”

“I don’t know what else to say,” you were on the verge of hyperventilating as you stuttered your words out.

“Well, now you owe me new gear, and you’re going to personally pay for the expense,” Levi’s hand left your face as he backed away from you, sitting down at his desk.

You looked on in confusion, “Sir, I don’t have any money?”

“Then I guess you’re fired,” Levi tilted his head back as if bored now with the conversation. “You’re relieved of your military duties as well. We can’t afford to have someone as brainless as you in the Scouts.”

“Captain, please,” you raised your voice, arms wrapping around yourself to contain your shaking.

Levi’s eyes darkened, leaning forward to press his elbows on his desk as he leaned his head onto his intertwined fists, “Leave my office, now.”

This couldn’t be happening. You had no home to return to, having left it behind long before you joined the Training Corps. This was your life, your purpose, your friends were here. You finally felt like you had a place in the world here in the Scouts.

“I’ll do whatever I have to!” you begged, not moving a muscle. “Whatever I can do to stay!”

“Are you deaf or just an idiot?” Levi pushed onto his feet, striding over to stand right in your face as he spat. “Leave my fucking office, that’s an order!”

Your bottom lip trembled, and you felt so fucking pathetic but couldn’t stop yourself from one last attempt, “Please, sir. Don’t kick me out, please let me make it up somehow.”

Your brain took a moment to catch up with what had just happened as you were suddenly staring down at the wooden notches of Levi’s desk. He had grabbed your wrists in a fierce swiftness, pushing you face down, his hands now positioned against your spine to keep you in place. His right hand reached around to fumble with your belt, and your heart began to race for other reasons.

“Captain?” you stuttered, feeling him begin to pull off the belts stationed on your thighs.

“You think you can just beg me in that voice, looking like that, and expect me not to lose control?” his voice was thick with anger, but instead of fear, it tickled bouts of arousal in your lower stomach. “Answer me.”

“No?” it came out as a question, you pushed your thighs together as you felt a pulse run through your core as his fingers tickled the exposed skin of your lower stomach. “Sir, I’m confused, what’re doing?”

“Like you have no idea what you do to me,” Levi chuckled without humor. “You begged me to be my assistant even though you knew you weren’t going to be a good one. You think I wouldn’t notice, your little crush on me?”

It was true, so entirely true. Levi had been the object of your affection for such a long time now, taking every opportunity to get as close to the man as possible. If you were being honest with yourself, this fantasy of being bent over his desk was a constant distraction in your mind. He was right, you were shit at cleaning, you were probably the most clumsy person you knew, you really had no qualifications to be Levi’s aide, yet you still asked for the position.

“Then why’d you hire me, Captain?” the bratty words left your lips as it dawned on you, Levi had found you appealing regardless of your lack of qualities.

With a quick motion, your pants and panties were bunched around your knees, Levi’s palm meeting the now exposed skin of your cheek in a caress, “The same reason you’re fucking soaked right now, cadet.”

You stayed in position as Levi brought his other hand to your opposite ass cheek, fingers kneading the fat as he spread you open to his hungry view. He was right, you were dripping. His pointer finger ran down the seam of your ass, laying a soft touch to your hole, watching it flutter in excitement. He couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face, removing his touch entirely.

You whined, pushing your bottom closer to Levi’s hands, desperate for his touch. Your hips were slammed against the edge of his desk, his fingers digging firmly into the back of your thighs, pushing your legs back together. You felt a jarring sting on your backside, yelping in response as you could make out the distinct imprint of each of his fingers.

“You want to show me you’re really sorry?” Levi’s voice was low and raspy as he soothed his palm over the reddened mark he had made. “Tell me after every slap.”

You were able to brace yourself this time as you felt the strike of his hand once more on your opposite cheek, unable to contain your moans at the contact. You squirmed as you felt removal of Levi’s touch leave you, only to bite down on your tongue harshly as he swatted the back of your thighs much harder than he had on your ass.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he spoke ruthlessly as another slap hit your thighs.

“I’m sorry!” you cried, gasping for air from the impact.

“Again,” his hand smacked the fat of your ass again, his other hand smoothing over the harsh red blotches against your thighs in an attempt to soothe the pain.

“‘M sorry!” you were whining, knuckles white from gripping the opposite edge of the desk as you arched your ass up into his hold. Part of you was genuinely shocked over how much you were enjoying this, thoroughly aroused mentally and physically.

Levi couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front him. The handprints scattered across your lower half had his cock springing to life, hard and painfully erect. His hands traveled down to your pussy lips, using his thumbs to spread you open. Your hole was drooling, Levi let out a deep groan at the sight. He couldn’t stop himself, he had to have a taste.

You let out a sputtered moan as you felt the tip of your captain’s tongue lick a stripe from your hole to your clit. You pushed your hips further into his touch, thankful he resisted in shoving you back into the edge of the desk this time. His fingers held you open and apart, his taste buds rolling circles into your clit before returning back to your flitting opening, shoving his tongue in your walls. You could feel it fold in half, almost in a cupping motion as he bobbed his head, lapping as much as he could.

“Oh my God,” you whined, thrusting a hand behind you to grasp at his hair. His palms circled to the fronts of your thighs, digging his fingers into the fat as he pulled you somehow closer as he buried his face further into your dripping heat.

You were seeing stars, in between the mix of the pain and pleasure, your brain was completely empty. Levi’s right hand left your left thigh for a moment, coming back with a softer slap, inching his fingers to your center. His pointer finger swirled your clit relentlessly, and your breathing hitched as you were brought to even higher heights than before. His thumb joined not long after, pinching and pulling at your bud as you yelped.

You could feel the beginnings of your impending orgasm as Levi twisted and lapped your walls. The burning churn in your lower stomach became almost unbearable as Levi’s fingers worked faster at your bundle of nerves, full of purpose and intentions. Levi could feel the sudden change, your pussy clenching tighter and tight around his wet muscle. Your arousal was thicker, almost muskier as he inhaled through his nose, and Levi could swear he could drink from your core as if you were the finest of wines.

At the first blinding rush of pleasure, your body preparing itself for the intense promise of release, the ravenette removed all touch. You were gasping for air, your entire body’s nerves tingling uncomfortably. You were aching, desperate for anything.

“Look at you,” the return of Levi’s palm slapping your ass was welcomed with a smile on your face, thankful for any form of touch. “Falling apart that easy?”

You mumbled out a 'sorry', remembering his earlier warning. Apparently this was the word Levi was searching for, spinning you around and attaching his grip to your hips, slamming your sore ass on his desk, shoving his paperwork to the floor. Your eyes widened dramatically, seeing Levi’s cock fully exposed out of the zipper of his trousers. He was thick, his tip red and angry as he moved his fist over his length, a quiet groan leaving his parted lips as he relieved some of his own pent up arousal.

“Open,” he demanded, removing his hand from his dick, extending his palm to your pouty lips. You complied, letting your mouth loll open as Levi’s fingers pressed against your tongue, rolling them around to coat his digits.

He pulled them out with a pop from your lips, returning his now dripping hand to his erection, covering the entire member in your saliva. He gripped the backs of your knees after he deemed himself properly lubed up, dragging you right to edge as he positioned himself.

His grey eyes flickered up, fiery and full of lust, his voice hoarse, “You ready?”

“Yes,” you mewled, your fingers wrapping around the edge of the wood to steady yourself.

Without a moment of hesitation, Levi held your legs up as he slid his fat tip along the slick of your folds. It was so wet, so sloppy, you couldn’t contain the whimper leaving your lips as he pressed into your sopping hole. You could’ve sworn you felt your soul attempt to leave your body as he slid in, resting his tip right against your sweet spot once he was fully sheathed, your eyes rolling back into your skull as the mind blowing pleasure. He hadn’t completed a full thrust before you were begging for more.

“Please, please, more,” you managed out in between gasps, Levi rolling his hips backwards.

“You want more?” he chided, ramming himself so hard, the two of you bounced from the impact. You nodded, unable to voice a single word, drool threatening to escape your lips. His fist left the comfort of your bent knees, coming up to squish your cheeks together, a dribble of spit glistening against your pout, “You’ll answer me when I ask you a question, brat.”

“Yes! More!” you strangled out, muffled from his grip on your face. He let go, placing a very soft pat to your cheekbone, almost as a reward.

“Atta’ girl,” Levi’s gaze turned dark as his eyes traveled from your eyes to the column of your neck. How pretty would you look with his fist wrapped around your throat?

The thought was threateningly persuasive as Levi found himself doing just that, squeezing the sides of your neck as he began to piston his cock between your folds. The sounds of slapping skin and your pussy squelching had you panting loudly, Levi’s fingers pressing harder into the sides of your throat. It felt so good, good wasn’t even the word to describe it. In fact, there weren’t any words in your brain at all, too consumed by the visuals of the ravenette plowing hard into you.

His hand left your throat upon seeing your eyes begin to flutter, his concern for your ability to breathe over taking his lust. Instead, he circled both his arms under your back, bringing you up into a folder position against his chest. He placed open mouth kisses along the curve of your shoulder, licking and sucking at any skin he could reach. Your ankles hooked around his waist, and you couldn’t hold yourself back from slipping a hand to your aching clit.

“Kiss me,” you pleaded into Levi’s neck as your middle finger rubbed hard at your clit, your thick slick coating the pad. You got curious, letting your hand trail further down, exploring the motion of his cock pummeling into you.

“Put your hands on my back, and maybe I will,” he growled out, displeased that he wasn’t the one bringing you total and complete pleasure.

You followed his orders with speed, his head navigated out of the crook of your neck, capturing your lips with a hasty passion. He tasted sweetly sour, the lingerings of your essence resting in the crevices of his lips, but still, you couldn’t get enough of his kiss. When his hand finally left the middle of your spine, and began to travel down to your center, you could feel the bubbles of climax igniting back in your stomach.

“Levi,” you moaned into his mouth as his fingers moved at lightning speed against your nerves, timed nearly perfectly with the pattern of his thunderous thrusts. The desk was squeaking loudly against the floor as he continued to pound into animalistically, moving it slightly with every move.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, gonna’ cum,” you swallowed his words as he somehow sped up his movements, driving you straight to your climax.

You couldn’t even warn him, you barely had time to realize you were cumming yourself. It almost hurt how tightly you had clenched his cock as the pleasure nearly blinded you, unable to hold back swears and moans. Levi kissed you harder, and upon feeling your contractions swallowing him whole, your plush walls pulling his tip right up against your cervix, his hips staggered and his knees buckled.

Levi’s brain went blank as his orgasm was ripped from him, “Fuck, fuck!”

Levi should’ve felt embarrassed at the noises that left his mouth, whimpers and soft moans exiting his throat as he came hard. It was almost too much, the feeling of your wet heat wrapping around his most intimate part, the closeness of your bodies, although still fairly clothed, had his heart hammering in his ears.

When you came down from your highs, all you could was stare at each other in astonishment, breathing heavily into each other’s mouths. He rested his sweaty forehead against yours, fluttering his eyelashes shut as he kissed you gently. You let out a sleepy giggle, your body entirely spent. His hand finally left the sensitive skin of your clit, wrapping your fingers around the back of your head as his kiss deepened.

When he finally slid his softened length out of the depths of your pussy, you were hissing at the fluttering of soreness intruding your pelvis. Levi shot you an apologetic look, kissing your forehead.

“Does this mean I can still be your assistant?” you mumbled, a small smile on your face as Levi reached down to pull his pants up.

His head tilted back as an uncharacteristic laugh bubbled out, flashing you a mischievous smile, “Get yourself cleaned up, and meet me back in my office. I still don’t believe you’re actually sorry.”

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[venomous--fics]

Anon asked: maybe a continuation of the peter b parker kid thing where they finally confront the mom and get the readers things back 😩💞💞

a/n: ask and thou shall receive! this spent so long in the drafts bc i felt so insecure about it tbh, so any feedback is appreciated! I love seeing messages about what you guys think! really keeps me motivated! also, requests are open

Warnings: mentions of past abuse

Peter was sitting at the kitchen table, constantly looking at the clock. It was almost 5pm, you were supposed to be home an hour and a half ago. Yes, he keeps track of everyone's schedules, yes he knows the exact second you should be walking through the door. He's already texted you, but maybe you had detention. Nah, you were a good student, he highly doubted you'd have to stay after school.

His phone finally rang, and he was way too quick answering it.

"You okay?"

"I need some help."

"What is it?" he was already out the door.

You sighed, knowing he was probably going to give you an earful later.

"Well, it's a really long story, right.. But my mom showed up after school-"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I think. Anyways, we got into it on the way home, which is no- Not normal." you adjusted how you were sitting, "And since she was dragging me back to the house, I figured I'd just get my crap and come home, right? Makes sense, saves us the tri-"

"She took you without permission?"

"Technically she is my m-...Parent. I guess, y'know, legally she can do whatever- But..Okay." you began to feel bubbles of anxiety and pain and even resentment form deep in your core, "She locked me out." You rubbed your neck.

"Are you," he paused, looking around at all the faces passing by him, "Still there?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? Don't apologize, you didn't do anything."

"I keep causing problems for everyone."

"Not for me. Or Mj."

It was quiet on your end.

"You still there?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there in like ten minutes."

"You probably shouldn't."

"Nah, nah." He said, having a sudden wave of anger rush over him, "Let me take care of this."

And true to his word, Peter was there in ten minutes. You hopped up from your spot on the porch as he made his way up to the door and knocked on it as hard as he could. He gave you a reassuring pat on the back.

The door swung open, and your mother seemed awfully surprised and confused to see some random man just standing there. Peter held no emotion has he looked her dead in the eye, "Can we come in."

She opened the door wider so that way you two could step in.

"Go get your stuff." is all Peter said to you.

Wasting no time, and not wanting to be in the middle of a potential argument between the two, you skedaddled to your room. It almost felt like too much to be in there. It looked so empty and barren compared to your room at Peter and Mjs place. Seems really dull. Lifeless, almost. Dust covered every surface, which meant that nobody had ever even bothered to see if you were even still in there.

You heard their voices from the living room, but they seemed so distant, seeing as all you could focus on was every shitty thing that woman put you through.

You remember the day that you got bit. It made you deathly ill, and you just thought you were dying from some sort of allergic reaction to the spider bite. You tried to get her to take you to any doctor or anywhere that could help because all you could seem to see were stars.

Everything then was so loud. Everything was so bright. It was all too much, and you were certain that the reaper was waiting for you. What did she say?

"Suck it up and stop pretending. Everything has to be so dramatic with you."

Or that time you forgot a single item on the shopping list. You got this whole speech about how stupid you had to have been. To forget one item. It was the world's most useless item.

Everything else seemed to play all over again, all at once. Like a waterfall. It should've made you sad. It should've made you cry, or scream.

You recounted all the times you wanted to fight back, or just run away. Leave everything behind and just run until your legs gave out. But you never did. You always found some reason to linger.

The conversation was growing louder where Peter was.

"You aren't going to do this to them ever again. Sign the papers."

You nearly dropped your last belonging on the floor as you scrambled to your door. Papers? He wasn't serious. Well, obviously he was. He just said it.

"Fine. It's not like the-"

"Zip it. Sign the papers."

"Who are you anyways? The law? If so, whatever they've told you is a b-"

"Listen, lady. I didn't ask for any attitude. I told you to sign the papers." he seemed to huff in annoyance, "That doesn't require talking."

"I'm a good mother."

"And I'm the king of France."

"Really. I gave them a good home. I have fed them and kept them warm-"

"Really? You think you did all that? Or are you convincing yourself that you did all that?"

"I am-"

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Ye-"

"I've never said this about anyone, ever. I don't like speaking to or about anyone like this.. Ever, but, you? I think you're a piece of shit."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, look. You finished signing the papers. I'll take those. Thank you."

Realizing that it was your time to go, you stuffed your blanket into your duffel bag and rushed out the door and down the hall. Peter looked at you, expecting to see at least three bags. But he only saw the one.

"Where's the rest of your stuff."

"Uhm," you shuffled around, pretending as thought you dropped some, "This...This is all my stuff."

"That can't be ri-" He laughed a little, and noting the expression on his face, you saw that he was NOT happy. "That? That single duffle bag is all you have? That's it?"

"Yes..." you took a step back, "This is all.."

"I can't believe it." he said, "You're joking! One bag worth of stuff?"

He turned his attention back to your mother, who, for the first time in your life, actually looked like she got caught red handed, "You're pathetic. Absolutely pathetic."

"But they're so u-"

"No! No, you don't get to talk anymore. You've done enough."

You awkwardly shuffled behind him, in the event that you two had to make a mad dash out the door. That and you needed to not be seen as you tried to hide your almost evil grin.

"The hell is wrong with you? You have this amazing kid, and THAT'S all you've ever gotten for them? And you sit there and call yourself a mother? Absolutely, without a doubt, bullshit. I'd be ashamed of myself to call myself a father if that's all I've provided for my kid. Don't even get me started on you as a person, we made that clear."

It almost felt cursed to hear him swear, seeing as he made it a point to tell you to not swear. Every time you did, you have to give a quarter to the swear jar. Mj was always on your side, though. She'd say a swear that was much worse and have to pay a dollar. Each word had a value.

"Maybe we should just go." you suggested, tugging on the sleeve of his arm, "She's not worth it anymore."

"She was never worth it, it seems."

You finally made eye contact with her, and the look in her eye. It's like she understood, but was choosing to not do anything about the situation. She could look sorry all she wanted, but you knew she wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. You know that right."

"That means nothing to me."

"I can change."

"If you can change now, that means you could've changed then. You just chose not to."

"But I'm your mother, you should realize how I feel. You should want-"

"You're not my mom. You stopped being my mom the first time you-" You turned towards the door and started walking towards it, "Whatever. You mean nothing to me."

You practically kicked open teh door just to leave, and Peter was right behind you, shouting about how he'd make sure to egg her house everyday, just to piss her off.

"Do you really think I'm amazing?" you asked, the walk home feeling rather quiet.

"I think you're more than that. Just can't put it into words."

"Did you really mean it...That we could egg her house?"

"You want to? There's a store right on the way home."

"How about tomorrow."

"I'll have to clear up my busy schedule. See if I can work in a drive by egging. Well, swing by egging."

"You promise?"

"You kidding? I haven't egged anyone's house since college."

You had so much more you wanted to get off you chest, but you opted to just talk about it at home, with everyone present. You wanted to talk about how you felt about everything, and the papers. Whatever those were. But you were, for the moment, busy laughing about Peter's story about how he used to Egg this one reporters house. Someone named Jonah.

You wonder if Jonah ever put two and two together.