#they had 200 years to domesticate these guys into being something so

[lordofthefeline]

I need someone to hear me out:

Domesticated Deathclaws

[horrorisunknowntoyou]

[Simon "Ghost" Riley x Wife!-Reader] Headcanons

A/n: my birthday is today! so I wrote this as a treat for myself. I been hella sick and unwell so yeah :) also there's a lack of fluff and domestic stuff so I'm here to provide! + Birthday stuff at the end! 🎂 🎉

TW// dark topics, mentioned of Simon's trauma and mental illness, It's like brief.

Song recommendations:

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

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You been married to Ghost for a long time, hell the task force didn't even know you existed until later this year or so.

Your meeting with your husband's buddies/co-workers (?) was quite a pleasant suprised.

Captain price was a lovely fellow, very much the father figure of the group. But he can be very cruel if need be.

Soap was.... interesting, you understand why your husband both love/hate the guy. But he was definitely fun to talk to. He was the most surprised to see you.

Gaz was a sweetheart, nice young man. Funny definitely. Didn't talk much.

Laswell was nice, she seem like the cool aunt type to drink wine or something.

But they definitely were surprised at the revelation that Ghost was married. Which isn't surprising considering the type of man he is.

(also you definitely showed the team your guys wedding photos/videos much to Ghost's protest.)

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But speaking of marriage, you been married to Ghost for around 5ish years. You met him by chance during an errand. It was really cliche, you accidentally bumped into him. And he was very awkward, and kinda stood their staring at you. You just laughed it off.

In some sense, you two were polar opposites that was interchangeable. He was the moon and you were the sun, etc. You balance each other out.

Also if it isn't obvious, both of you have some sense of dark humor. His was more shitty dad jokes and yours was offensive ones or very niche references to stuff. *Cough." Tumblr "Cough."

Also considering your husband, you were used to his interest in the morbid or macabre. Of course you had to tell him to dial it down so it doesn't hurt him. Specifically his interest in live leak. Also cause you didn't want to see that.

You were also the only person who could properly calm him down, or deal with his anger issues. Reminding him, it's fine to take a step away to breathe. Of course in the beginning it was hard but, you learn to understand him well.

You knew his triggers, his traumas and fears, of course it took ALOT of time and trust for him to even tell you this. But he slowly open himself to you and vice versa.

Also one of his bad habits, be it anger issues, but he sometimes unintentionally gaslight you. You know it means no harm but sometimes it can get overwhelming or lead up to fights. He tries his best not to do it often.

He may not be a great person for comfort, mainly sitting besides you or awkward hugs. But it's obvious he tries his best and that's enough for you.

And he's very protective of you considering what he's been through.

He trained you to defend yourself and how to use a firearm in emergencies just in case. It helps put his minds in ease. But as mentioned earlier, due to his anger issues. He will have the urge to fight anyone who upsets you or hurts you. That's the only time you can't hold him back much to your pleas.

But at the same time, you, yourself is highly protective of him. Of course he's more then capable to defend himself afterall he's a highly experienced military man. Who's 6'4 and 200+ pounds, but even so you will protect him. After all you love him with all your heart. Of course being a civilian, there's not much you can do but you try. And I think that's enough for him.

Also both of you have this weird complex of "I'll put my life aside for my significant other." You both definitely need to work on it.

He also knows your triggers and issues, he doesn't fault you for it. Be it whatever you suffer from, he's always willing to help you, or at least something to lean on.

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Domestic life between the two of you is interesting.

First things first, Simon wears his mask even at home. He doesn't show his face often and you don't really mind it. As it just became part of him in some sense.

However he has to do face mask with you to make sure 1. His face is handled and cleaned, 2. To wash his masks and hoodies he wears. It makes you cringe at how dirty his mask are.

You two also sometimes play videogames, funny enough first person shooters. You suck at it though, your not terrible but Simon dies inside when your aim is shit. However you force Simon to play Just Dance with you so that's a win in your book!

Also chores between the two of your are planned out before hand so not much issues between that, but if you both are tired you just order out take out lol.

Also surprisingly, Simon's a really good cook he's just lazy or pretends to suck because he doesn't want soap to know. lol

You both have your own specialized mugs to drink tea or coffee in it.

Simon likes to play and brush your hair, it kinda calms him down. He sometimes braid it or style it. You have no idea why he knows how to do this but you ain't complaining.

Simon is also a HUGE sucker for cuddles, either be it sleeping or laying down in the couch. But specifically in bed he's either sleeping as if he's in a casket or he's holding you protectively around his arms. No in-between.

In the more colder months, even though you have your own hoodies, Ghost allows you to wear one his. It engulfs you and it's very comfortable to be in.

But you, you love spoiling Simon. It being some expensive knife he wanted or little charm to add on his weapon. The glee in his eyes make it worth it at times, especially the slight hints of red brushed on him. Of course you respect his boundaries and not overdo it.

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During Ghost's deployment he likes to keep a picture of you, either a simple picture within his pocket or a locket he hear around his neck.

Same goes for you, you mainly have a picture of him sleeping peacefully while watching TV as your wallpaper, You smile at it every time.

You also have a Polaroid that you keep on deck in your wallet. It has a little note on the back from Ghost. It's cute.

You even have your own version of his skull mask for you too wear, if you feel lonely when he's away weeks at a time.

He does worry his work will put you in harms way or affect you negativity. It plagues his mind and it makes it hard for him to sleep in his cot or wherever.

You do get lonely while he's away, but you manage it.

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+ [Birthday stuff!] Characters are ooc lmao

When it's your birthday, Simon is alot more soft around you. He truly does care about you, and thankful for you in his life.

You usually have a small birthday party at your guys house with the task force (and some people of your choosing ) Especially, by now you really grew accustomed to them and it felt like a family to you.

You knew the first time round, they definitely struggled, as it was a surprise party. And Soap and Ghost were arguing over the placement of the banner.

Price was absolutely tired but gaz and Laswell (+ her wife) kept you distracted so you didn't even notice much to his relief.

Eventually Ghost sort it out, much to Soap nagging.

And when gaz and others brought back you were surprised with a birthday party.

You were so happy, you almost cried at how sweet everyone is. You were so thankful for this.

You had alot of fun with everything, they absolutely tried, it was like birthday party mixed potluck. It was fun!

There was also a bunch of moments you remembered.

One, Soap got drunk lmao. After the pinatas in which Gaz got most of the candy in his sweater, Soap starting doing some karaoke thing. He was singing California girls. The best thing though, you recorded it and you can see in video Ghost giving him a death stare.

You and Gaz did rock, paper, scissors over shots. You don't drink but it was fun till price like any father figure immediately stops it before it goes out of hand.

Also did you guys get a bounce castle knowing very well you all are grown adults? Yes.

You have alot of videos of it, mainly ghost and soap wrestling each other in the castle. Even though ghost refused to at first but soap pissed him off lol.

Laswell and price mainly stated out there.

You however joined in, and almost gave Ghost a heart attack when you grapped the roof part of the bouncy castle and got lifted up. He immediately pulled you down.

Gaz was the kid who mainly stated in the corner on his phone. But he did join in for a couple of games.

After that mess, you guys did the birthday cake. It was you favorite cake with white candles. And you say at the center of the table, and smiled.

They sang happy birthday and you blew out your candles.

Opening presents was a mess, you had alot of presents, that you didn't expect. Ghost obviously gave them tips what to get you.

You have alot of photos/videos of you opening the gifts.

Overall it was a really fun! You were the second person to fall asleep. Soap was asleep on the couch, you fell asleep on the recliner hidden in a hoodie.

Gaz fell asleep on two party chairs like it was normal. The rest either left or talked.

Overall you had a really fun night.

Also Ghost definitely teased you the next day over the stupid shit you did. But he's happy you enjoyed it.

[maddrumsticks]

Since I didn't have an art piece specifically for Undertale's 8th anniversary and I don't wanna burn myself out. So instead, I'm gonna introduce a couple of my Sans AUs! (I have more than two but we're just gonna start with two.)

Introducing: Soul and Broken!

Detailed background and lore dumps under the cut! (Beware, it will be long and probably a lot of reading. I will include a couple TLDRs at the end.)

Soul's Story

TW: murder (that's the only one I can think of, but please lmk if others apply to this)

Soul is the first Sans AU I have ever made. (His design used to be just a Sans recolor, but I have tried to change that a bit.) And so his design is pretty lackluster but his backstory is super long because that's how I was years ago.

Soul was just a normal Sans until the human's reset went wrong. Somehow, it glitched all the way back to when the human with the justice soul fell. Soul felt like something was off, and decided he should kill the justice soul-ed human. Why? Probably felt like this was the only way to break away from something keeping him tied. So he did just that and absorbed the child's soul.

He was able to cross the barrier. He made sure not to enter the large city near Mt. Ebott. Instead, he found a very small village with probably only about a population of 200 or less. Something dark had taken over his mind and he killed every human in sight. (Honestly, I don't remember why, but it was probably because he didn't want to go back to that torturous loop he was stuck in.)

Then he saw someone who was definitely going to reset. In his panic, he grabbed the two souls closest to him, a bravery soul and an integrity soul, and ran. He absorbed the integrity soul, giving him more agility and speed. He was miraculously able to make it back to the underground before everything was reset. Without explanation, he forced Papyrus to absorb the bravery soul. As soon as he did, Soul found they were now back to the normal timeline.

But this time, Soul and his brother, now named Trait, still have the souls they absorbed, but more ingrained into their very beings. There was no way for them to separate from the souls they absorbed now.

Soul and Trait were now able to remember every timeline, Trait didn't show he knew, and Soul could check people's stats, including his own. But any time he tried to check his own stats, he would see them, but he would begin to hear these strange, murderous voices.

These voices started quiet and got louder over time until Soul caved in and killed someone. Then the voices would get quiet again and it would start all over. The only way they would disappear is when a reset would happen.

The only thing Soul forgot about a timeline is his own stats and evil voices. The moment he checked his stats, he would remember all of that.

Eventually, he and Trait snapped. They were done dealing with being stuck in a loop. They had a discussion with each other and came up with a plan to defeat the human.

Said plan kinda backfired. While it did defeat the human, it also destroyed their whole AU, leaving behind Soul, Trait, and an empty white void.

They did mostly fine in this white void, but eventually Soul checked his stats and the voices started. And of course, that doesn't bode well.

Soul's large amount of negativity drew Nightmare, who decided Soul would make an interesting "plaything." (Aka Soul gets tortured and treated horribly by all those guys ig. But he escaped eventually. And don't worry, Trait was taken to the Omega Timeline.)

After Soul escapes from Nightmare, he kinda just explores the multiverse.

Which leads us to Broken's story.

Broken's story

TW: Major domestic violence and abuse

In Broken's world, colors were swapped around somewhat randomly, and they had slightly altered personalities and HP. This Papyrus was angered much more easily than the normal Papyrus. And this Papyrus would build up until he lashes out. (Ps, this is not supposed to excuse anything I describe next as okay in any way, shape, or form.)

His pent up anger had nowhere to go other than to at Broken. It started verbally, then escalated to physical. Some days, Papyrus was so angry that he just wanted to break Broken.

And, unfortunately, he did.

It started with Broken's leg. He watched it dissolve into dust with horror. He was given a cheap, crappy prosthetic so people wouldn't suspect anything. This Papyrus told others that Broken fell off a tree, his leg got ripped off and fell into the river. And they couldn't afford a more expensive leg. This was obviously all bull.

It started with Broken's leg, then his arm, and finally half of his head. From the day his head was destroyed, Broken was rendered blind, and basically magic less.

One day, Broken was hiding in his room, just wishing he could run away when there was a sound at his window.

Soul found his way in, and they talked. Soul and Broken talked for a long, long time. Unfortunately, Broken's horrible brother returned, and Soul had to leave.

The next time Soul visited, he didn't hesitate to offer Broken freedom from this horrible place. And Broken didn't hesitate to accept.

Soul and Broken's life together

Soul took Broken to the empty, white void that used to be his AU. And together, they built a house. Originally, the house was intended for only Broken. But things changed. They fell in love with each other.

And so, Soul and Broken live together, married and extremely happy. They do their best to overcome their traumas together (mainly Broken, he struggles) and live the best life they can. They often explore other worlds together.

Soul is what keeps Broken afloat, and Soul would say the same about Broken.

Broken knows he can do anything with Soul at his side, and everything will be okay. He has Soul at his side.

Until he doesn't =)

TLDRs:

Soul's Story: Soul kills a child to go and kill a bunch of humans, absorbs only one soul of those, gives another to his brother and then things reset. Eventually accidentally destroys his whole AU with the help of his brother. Goes and explores other AUs.

Broken's story (abuse TW): gets abused by his brother really horribly. Soul finds him and takes him to the empty void of his AU.

Soul and Broken's life together: two gay skeletons get married and use each other to overcome traumas.

Feel free to ask me anything about these two if you want :D

[disturbedbydesign]

Lie To Me - Epilogue

Pairing: dark!Professor!Bucky x reader

Epilogue Word Count: 800

Summary: After getting a spot in Professor Barnes’s coveted writing workshop, you start to form a close relationship with your handsome new teacher. But Bucky Barnes is not who he appears to be, and once he has you where he wants you, he’s not going to let you go.

Warnings (for complete work): noncon/rape, dubcon, sexual assault, daddy kink (not ddlg), voyeurism (hidden camera), blackmail, manipulation, age gap (reader is 21, Bucky is late 30s), student/teacher dynamic, physical violence, reader has history of physical and sexual abuse by a family member, mentions of domestic violence, mentions of campus rape, body image issues (reader has scars), ableism, smut/explicit sex (oral, vaginal, anal), unprotected sex (wrap it up, kids!), choking, biting, breeding

A/N: Written for the @writing-in-the-dark-bingo challenge (bingo card at end of chapter). This one got away from me but there’s just something about creepy manipulative Professor Bucky that really does it for me. I apologize in advance for how messy this gets. Also, please heed warnings. This is a dark!fic and you are responsible for your own media consumption. 18+ only, no minors.

If you prefer to read on AO3, you can do so here.

Epilogue

Three Years Later

You’re walking through Washington Square Park when your phone rings; it’s Sharon, and you almost don’t pick up, but you know what it’s about.

“Hey,” you say. “So he’s out, then?”

“Yup. They released him last night. How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” you reply. “Just fucking pissed.”

“He’s a rich white guy with connections. There was no way he was going to actually do all the time he got.”

“I know, but two-and-a-half years for all of that? What a joke.”

“Look,” she says, “it could have been way worse for you. You know that. And he can’t come within 200 feet of any of us or else he’s going right back in.”

You sigh because she’s right, even though it doesn’t feel like it.

“Listen, I gotta run,” she says. “Call me if you want to have dinner next week. And I still want you to consider the internship over the summer. I know you wanted to travel with Zara after graduation, but Nat really thinks it would be good for you and I have to agree with her.”

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask. Talk soon.”

Sharon hangs up and you make your way to class. After all this time, you’re finally in your last semester of college. Natasha had helped you transfer to NYU when you were finally ready to go back; she’d helped you with a lot of things you didn’t even know you needed help with. She’d confessed to you that she’d known some of the things Bucky was doing to his students over the years—not the full extent of it, but enough that she should have done something knowing how dangerous he could be.

You’re not bitter about it; she had suffered with him, too. Half the stuff he’d told you about their relationship—all the stuff about her using him and his family for money and connections—was complete bullshit, designed to elicit sympathy from you. Sometimes you feel like her charity case, but you really like her. She’s become a mentor and a friend.

Sharon you have a tougher time with. You go between blaming her and feeling kin with her. She suffered, too, you have to remind yourself, and she was the one who got rid of the evidence that could have put you in jail. You’d never known that her literary skills were matched only by her technical skills, but you’re grateful for it. Sometimes you hate her, but you always come around.

You have a date tonight—your second date with a guy you met at the coffee shop near your apartment. He’s very cute and very nice and very funny, but you’re not ready for a serious relationship. He doesn’t know about your past, but he does know that you want to take things very very slow, and he’s cool with that.

“I just like being around you,” he’d said. “No pressure.”

You head to your apartment to shower and change after class, and as you’re putting your makeup on you get a text from Zara.

Miami is awesome. Met a cute guy at the club last night. Probably gonna sleep with him. I’ll send you pics from the wedding xoxo

Zara is away for the weekend for her cousin’s wedding in Florida. She’d invited you to be her plus one but you’d thought it was a bit much. You could spend a weekend in your apartment alone. You were doing ok now, most of the time at least.

Your dinner date goes surprisingly well, and you think that maybe there could be something there—in the future, when you’re ready to open your heart up and feel feelings again. He walks you home but he doesn’t try to kiss you goodnight. Part of you wants him to, though, because you’re starting to feel like it’s time to let yourself live again. You haven’t had sex in three years. You’ve wanted to a couple of times, but you stopped yourself.

You’re still afraid, but your therapist (and Zara, and Sharon, and Nat) all say that you’ll know when the time is right. You say goodnight to the cute boy on your doorstep and walk upstairs, thinking that maybe that time is coming soon.

When you open the door to your apartment, the cold air from the open window hits you. You know you didn’t leave the window open. You never leave the windows open. You look over to the coffee table and see a dozen red roses in a vase. You turn on your heels and start to run but a cold metal hand clamps down over your mouth. Your nose is filled with him and his breath is hot against your ear.

“Hey, babygirl. Daddy’s home.”

[lea-andres]

Got any headcanons for Silver adjusting to being around and living with the other members of the chaotix, besides Espio?

*deep breath*

Okay, so obviously Silver's met the Chaotix prior to living with them (I don't need to mention Rivals 2, TSR is definite proof of Silver and Vector interaction, I like to think they all interacted in Generations and Forces too.), so he had an idea of what he was in for when Vector starting insisting he stay with them.

I will follow instructions and skip over Espio, since we all know I can talk for hours about those two. 😂 And I will skip straight to Charmy.

Charmy pretty much followed Silver around nonstop for the first week or so, just peppering him with questions about the future and his powers, and saying stuff like "I can fly too! Can you do THIS?" and then doing a flip or something. Espio and Vector tried to get him to give Silver some space, but he never seemed to bother him. Silver would answer his questions, and show off his powers, and do whatever flying tricks Charmy would ask about. Charmy was easy to impress, Silver was pretty relieved to learn.

I believe it was @sonicsmeteor who was saying the two would go flying together to burn off some of Charmy's extra energy (please correct me if I'm wrong so I can credit the correct person! But I'm 85% certain it was Jayce.). They'd race, see who could fly higher (Silver always let Charmy win that one out of fear they'd go TOO high and the bee would wear himself out and fall.), And Silver would make stuff float around to create obstacle courses for Charmy.

Charmy likes to give Silver shit for not being able to predict the immediate future (usually after he threw something at him or pulled a prank on him), which usually results in the frustrated hedgehog reminding the bee he's from about 200 years in the future. It becomes their version of the "You're adopted."/"SO ARE YOU!" I said that Charmy and Espio do in my domestic headcanons post.

Silver originally stayed out of the Espio/Charmy tussles, because he really wasn't familiar with sibling dynamics and what HE was supposed to do during them, but after a while he found himself jumping in them too. Usually on Espio's side, sometimes on Charmy's, occasionally he'd annoy THEM and they'd team up to get payback. It became a normal sight for Vector to see SOMEONE getting pinned to the floor or a wall with Silver's telekinesis during these spats. 😂

Vector was harder for Silver to get used to. I headcanon Silver's been on his own for a LONG TIME, so he's not used to being part of a household with a parent/guardian figure that's in charge of everyone else, so that was a HUGE adjustment to get used to. Vector was surprisingly patient with him on this point, though. And Silver found a lot of stress and anxiety he didn't even realize he'd had slowly went away as he learned to wrap his head around 'Vector's got it.'

Also, he'd tear up sometimes when Vector would compliment something he did, say he was proud of him, or would tell him he loves him, because Silver was not used to hearing those sorts of things from a father (or HAVING a father, for that matter.) And sometimes he just couldn't handle it. 🥺

(And that in turn was hard for Vector to get used to. Espio and Charmy aren't nearly as emotional as Silver, so Vector sometimes worried he was overwhelming the poor guy.)

Silver also stayed out of the taunting Vector sessions at first, because they intimidated him a bit, but as he realized mocking each other was part of the Chaotix's love language, he jumped in on that too. 😂

The hardest part by far was learning the ropes of being a detective. Silver was SO nervous during his first case, but he picked it up quick. Silver's VERY observant, plus he had Vector, Espio, and Charmy to fall back on if he got stuck. And even if he felt like he didn't contribute much during a particular case, Vector always complimented all of them on a job well done after it was solved, so he wouldn't feel like a failure for too long.

[crimsonbluemoon]

I suggest not going on twitter rn

It’s all on fire and wild. Even I’m logging off for tonight

Hope you are doing well tho

Oh I saw a bunch of stuff on Twitter last night and it just kind of made my head hurt.

Long rant below about my feelings regarding cancel culture and how we're only hurting ourselves in the process.

Listen, this is just a personal opinion, and people can get mad at me or unfollow me or whatever, but it needs to be said; we've slipped too far from the original goal of believing the victim. What I mean by this is that our society wants to show support for those who have experienced something terrible, especially domestic/sexual abuse, due to our history's track record with it. And I'm all for that! I supported the Me Too movement, the BLM movement, I speak out regularly against bigotry and prejudice in my homelife to a not-so-accepting conservative town. I love seeing people being informed and engaged in social topics! But here's the problem...the 'informed' and 'engaged' part.

When we hear about someone being used, or hurt, or other terrible things, we instantly jump on it and be like 'omg cancelled'. But this actually hurts the cause. For one, we don't do research. If one random twitter website shows us a page or one random famous person makes a comment, we instantly believe them. Hearing a victim statement and asking informative, respectful questions is one thing. Trusting doxxed information is another.

By allowing TMZ or Enquire or whatever trashing media source you use to influence your decision, you're taking away the free will of the victim in the situation. Again, I'm not saying whether or not the information is true, because here's the thing; I don't know. I need more evidence. There has to be a situation where both sides explain their views/situation and then I can maybe make an opinion on that. But again, I don't mean 'well this website had a picture of a tweet sent out four years ago' or 'well the person being accused just said it wasn't them'. Imagine if that's how we solved murder cases? Just one guy pointing at another and going 'well bobby said he did it' and that's all we needed? Or the murderer just going 'yeah, that wasn't me' and we're like 'sweet, glad thats over.' ?

Abuse is also a very touchy subject that we, the outsiders, then demand answers for RIGHT after the situation happened. If something happens with a famous person, every reporter, interviewer, website, news outlet, all are in that person's face and recording and analyzing every single movement they do. Then we, the public, feel its our right to condemn or praise them depending on their emotional reactions. Case in point; look how the media tore Britney Spears apart to the point she shaved her head and bashed in a window with an umbrella. Everyone called her insane and made memes about her, only to find out a decade later she was a victim who was being abused for years. But we, as a society, picked out one TMZ article and ran with it. TEN YEARS she lived with that because of us.

Now again, people on my page know I've got a psych degree. Most people also know I've have some pretty severe abuse, both childhood and sexual/domestic, in my life. So when I tell you that sometimes even I, a train professional, have found myself (in my personal life) speaking out of anger or other emotions before due to a triggering situation, only to regret it the next day, I'm not saying it to excuse anyone. But there have been times where a situation happened that people on Tumblr wanted me to address and even when it wasn't my drama or my conflict, my heart got all tangled wondering if what I was going to say would end up with everyone turning on me.

Perfect example: I was a part of a discord with roughly 200 people at one point, and I was a mod who I think(?) most people liked. Then something was told to me by a member that a group of people were going to come into the server and just...mess things up and cause discord. I panicked, in the moment, and lashed out, @ing everyone and just kind of making it clear that would not be tolerated. I think I like, threatened banning people and swore? I dont even remember. I was speaking from a good place, but my choice of words and intensity scared some people, and really upset others. I got a bunch of people who then came into my DMs and on my Tumblr and made comments about me being a bad person/role model. It messed me up for days. I got super depressed and held so much self-hatred. The only reason I didn't leave Tumblr/that discord was because of my other friends going on there and defending me.

And this was 200 people, to a person with trauma intervention training; imagine 20 million with no training? 20 million people who demand you to say the right thing, in the moment, and want you to fix all of their negative feelings while also being the people attacking your family/friends/self with information that has legal/financial/safety consequences. I've seen someone be accused of sexual assault and the person's family get threatened with death. Not the person, but their children and wife. And again, I'm not saying this person did or didn't do it, but people were saying they hoped something like that happened to a two year old. I'm sorry, but how does that help anything? That someone's innocent family members get their lives ruined for simply sharing the same bloodline. What are we, Medieval japan?

Last thing I'm going to say before I go and try to work on stuff; recognize that everyone in the situation is human. It's not black and white, it never is, but the people in this situation are also experiencing upsetting feelings. If you post someone on your twitter, congrats, your 200 followers see it and if 1 percent of your followers don't like it, then you're made 2 people mad. But most likely, nobody's screen shooting it, sending it to your family, harassing you about it daily, etc. If some of these people say something that 1 percent of their viewers don't like it, that's 200,000 people all coming after them, their family, their loved ones, their houses, their pets, everything.

So if you think you're high enough on that horse that you'll never say something out of panic or anger or spite, then everything I said today just ain't gonna reach you. But if you are able to slow yourself down and just give people time to correct their mistakes or provide factual proof, then I've done something good today. Let the victim(not an unconfirmed mouthpiece who, if you're following them/liking their stuff, you're part of the problem because these sites are outting people who never asked them to), if they want, speak about the topic and hear their words, see their story, and then let the person accused say their piece and show their response. THEN make a decision on those two, and only those two, but stop dragging everyone else into the mud.

So yeah, long rant over. Thanks <3

[sugoi-writes]

KC! Would you write domestic headcanons for my boy Karamatsu????

As a KG, I got you boo 💙

Can you say adorable? That would be the best way to describe your lover.

Whether you chose to get married, or do away with traditional relationship norms, he is perfectly content to be a Y/N Boy

With you living together, you may end up being the “bread-winner”. But he still manages a job to keep up will bills, and to take you out on dates every chance he gets!

He's the type of guy who strongly rejects complacency, so if he ever senses you being dissatisfied, he will spice things up. Whether that’s through the way he tries to court you (he will still call it this even after 10+ years) or other things... he’ll do it all. 

This man will burst into tears at the sight of a grand or small gesture. Whether you spoil him with a fancy date or set up a pillow fort to watch Princess and the Bride... he’ll fall in love with you over, and over, and over--

He’ll be sheepish about it at first, but will totally let you read through his journals, where you can find sappy first drafts of songs about you, and sweet sonnets/love letters that were never delivered. 

Some were written even before you started dating 

What can he say? He falls hard and fast. 

The way he prefers to wake up is with you by his side, facing him somehow. He loves the way the sun dances off of your hair and your skin. He’ll give you gentle head scratches while you sleep, in no hurry to wake you up. 

If you ask him to cook, he will do it. If you ask him to help with dishes, he’ll sing along to any song you put on. Chores are a wholesome part of your daily routine together (even when he tries to be lazy/distract you). 

If you ask him to dance with you, he’ll sway with you in the kitchen, or (try to) rouse you with a dorky samba or tango.

Birthdays and holidays are a HUGE deal and time commitment. He will have to dedicate equal times with you and his family (he will bring you along, as always!)

His brothers and parents adore you, as you’re the reason why Kara thrives. 

They can see and understand his love for you, and it makes almost every Matsuno beam. Kara has always struggled to be genuinely confident and happy. 9 times out of 10, it’s usually a facade that he pulls to make others worry/dote over him less. 

But with you... he’s 100% transparent, and happier than ever. 

He’s had some rough patches in life... and his family loves that you’re able to make him see the good in himself. 

They will practically beg you to stay anytime you’re there (whether that’s secretly because they enjoy your company over Kara’s... that’s up for debate.)

He’s still that fashion-deaf, hopelessly romantic knuckle head, after all. 

Don’t be surprised if his fashion sense either cranks up 200%, or down a few notches. He knows he can be himself around you, but that you appreciate him without the makeup, the clothes, his aesthetics. He can just be a sparse-browed, soft man while he cuddles you in bed. 

11/10, if you ever mimic his fashion sense, or you wear something with his face on it... he will sob. Openly. And he will never let you wear anything else. He thinks it’s so endearing, and he can’t help but try to hide the blush that’ll rise on his ears. 

If you steal his shirts??? Keep them. He’ll wear them when you’re away so he can have you there with him 

He’s a little weird about it, but loves your scent. Whether it lingers from your laundry/clothes, or on the bedsheets... every little thing about you drives him crazy.

As far as preferences for the future... your ideal scenarios may change as time passes. He may want to adopt or have children, depending on your circumstances. He may want to buy a minivan and travel the world with you. He may want to settle in the country, and raise a bunch of plants and animals with you. Kara is a very openminded person. If your preferences or goals ever change, he CRAVES communication.

He can get hyper fixated on pleasing you, so if there is something you want to change, or that you’re not as into anymore, let him know. He has trouble being direct, as we’ve seen in the show/manga... So be sure that if something needs to be said that you be as clear with him as you can. 

As you get older, don’t ever expect the passion to die. There will be photo albums, memories, big trips, momentos from dates, songs and poetry... everything he can hoard and lock away for you two to enjoy later, he will absolutely keep it. 

As long as you’re with him, he doesn’t care what you do together with the time that you have. Whether it’s meant to be forever or not, he will treat you right. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed so far! Here are some n/sfw headcanons, under the cut! Juuuuust in case you’re curious~

F r e a k in the sheets, if you demand it. But he tends to be on the romantic, submissive side. 

Don’t expect him to know a lick of anything about sex, unless you casually mention it or bring it up. All Kara knows is what he’s read in erotica (or worse... hentai/porn). 

HOWEVER: Kara is an incredibly patient and FAST learner. 

He would absolutely lose his shit if you were dominant in any way, and may even dabble into darker fantasies, as long as you lay out what that means in its entirety. 

His top kinks involve body worship, oral of any sort (giving/receiving), facesitting, dirty/flirty talk, and a few others. He can be a mostly tame guy, but cranks it up a few notches if there’s something you’re into. 

If anything you’re into involves something that can be dangerous or harmful to either party, he establishes safe words and spaces in advance, so the act can stop at any time. Communication during the deed is so important to him. He will bring himself to an entire halt if you’re not okay/hurt/want to stop. 

SO UNDERSTANDING...SO HANDSOME;;;;;

If you call him baby, angel, good boy, Daddy...expect this man to be puddy in your hands. 

He will probably be a big ass/thigh fanatic, but absolutely loves every part of you. He’s also VERY. VERY.... into facesitting. So much it has to be said twice.

Just know that anything sexual is a fire that GROWS over time. Instead of your flame withering over the years, you find that he’s only growing more and more into you. 

[horrorslashergirl]

Alexander Chirilă Headcanons 3

Alexander has been training for years in a very isolated place similar or a temple that his former Master owned, although it was much darker. It was a place where people with potential were trained into being assassins and killers with very strict rules, no relationships were made and the people like Alexander were viewed more as weapons than human beings, and this is the reason for his lack of social skills. The schedules and program were made by seconds that he didn't have time to interact with people.

Like I noted in another headcanon list for him, Alexnder has a very big IQ of over 200 and can be described as having an elephant memory; that combined with very delicate working with his hands and having a God's patience with certain tasks, like cooking and gardening. During his assassin training, he also learned medical techniques and procedures from wast various medical books. Alexander has the hands of a surgeon to say so, saying that he can suture wounds, do bone fracture surgical repair, operate on internal wounds for example a stabbed lung or other internal organs. He could be described simply as a warrior-medical-technician.

During his stay with his Master, he was also the medic and surgeon there, for he only had the capacity of knowledge into the medical department and the hands' skills for that. His former Master decided to was valuable enough to save and who not, and Alexander could only watch as the non-valuable ones were left for slow and painful deaths. That's why one of his quotes is 'Everyone is disposable at some point.'

Alexander could be described as having multiple personalities that switch depending on the situation at hand and we have quite many moods on: His quite reserved soft self that usually is most of the time out, his straight all business assassin self that enters during battles and fight or dies situations, his combusting temperamental self that is an in and goes meaning he is very passive-aggressive, the precise medical technician, the house-husband or servant self to say so that does every domestic chore. Combining all these together we have Alexander's unusual personality that makes him be quite bipolar.

According to his little sister Nadia, one of Alexander's top strengths is his power of concentration, meaning that if he has a task at hand, he will put his whole focus on it. He is the type of guy that if he starts something he wants to finish it. Slacking off is not something he likes... on himself.

Alexander's weakness according to his sister, Nadia, is his short temper and lack of social skills.

Alexander feels most at ease in the rain, meditating like he did most of the time during his training. He believes that after each rain the sun will come out of the clouds and with that brighter days.

Alexander is ambidextrous in all tasks from double sword fighting to cooking to operating surgery, able to use the right and left hands equally well.

According to both his siblings, Alexander has a thing for strong people, both female and male, because he is the type that looks people up, like he does with Decebal, viewing him as someone he would have loved to be like.

He has high respect for women, mostly because of his sister, Nadia.

Alexander is noted to have a particular fascination with numbers, and that can be seen when he explains certain things with percents.

If it comes to relationships, he would be like his big brother and sister, a giver.

When fighting, his moves are very fluid and flawless, giving you the impression of a deadly dance with swords. Think about it like a ballet dance with swords coming your way. He moves with slick movements, plus his impressive flexibility and impeccable balance add to the combo.

Some Alexander Quotes:

“There are fates worse than death." - Speaking about the fact that death comes, you know you are dying and that's the end, but when you know that death doesn't come, you shall know that there is something much much worse.

"Everyone is disposable at some point." - From his time with his Master, he saw people come and go, as in, they were left for dead when they weren't needed anymore.

"If you cannot feel anything, nothing can hurt you." - That's something his Master thought him; if you are emotionless, you cannot feel the pain of the wounds, the pain of seeing people dying next to you.

[iwaisa]

request. Ohh congrats on 200 followers! Can I get the sfw alphabet for Daichi? (You don’t have to do the whole thing if you don’t want to, whatever you’re feeling inspired to do at the tim is fine ❤️ I just love the team captain so much haha) - @vs-redemption​

a/n. thank you so much for requesting ! <3

► now playing...

- warnings. slight spoilers

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

↳ he’s not extremely affectionate, but his favourite way are quick pecks before going to class or volleyball. if you’re feeling down and you’re walking away before he can give you a kiss he pulls you into him by his wrist :)

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

↳ you probably went to one of his volleyball games to cheer him on and he noticed <3 he’d be super doting and since he’s had a crush on you for a while he’s always trying to be near you

c - cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

↳ he’s a sucker for after practice cuddles after getting out of the shower. big. spoon. never will settle for being little spoon. it’s either big spoon or you laying on top of him.

d - domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

↳ he definitely does. he’s the absolute BEST at cooking, but maybe not so much cleaning. his room is messy at times because of how busy he is but he hates feeling messy so he’ll try to keep it clean.

e - ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

↳ he would only do it if his partner was extremely toxic. if you guys had a few arguments he’ll dismiss it. however, the deal-breaker is when his s/o is manipulative, unsupportive, or has cheated. in these certain situations, he’d tell you straight up. if he’s just not feeling it anymore he’d take some more time to figure out if he should or not. he’ll be supportive of you no matter what.

f - fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

↳ so so so committed. he would probably wait a few years after college and base it off when you want to settle down - if that’s something you want to do.

g - gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

↳ he’s super gentle both physically and emotionally. of course, he likes to push you to be the best version of yourself but will lay off if you ask him to.

h - hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

↳ he doesn’t really give long hugs often, but if you’re in need of a hug he’ll hold you for a couple of minutes. he’s patting the back of your head and pressing chaste kisses to your neck.

i - i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

↳ probably says it three or four months in. i think your relationship would be very laid-back and loving at the same time, so i believe that he doesn’t want to rush.

j - jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

↳ he’s only jealous if it’s certain guys talking to you. kuroo? no. get away. he would wrap a hand around your waist and pull you into his side and continue talking to whoever you were talking to with a smile on his face.

k - kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

↳ light and sweet. you would probably have to take initiative if you want to go further. he loves kissing you on your lips mainly. he loves when you kiss his nose, it makes his heart feel warm :,)

l - little ones (how are they around children?)

↳ kids are kind of intimidated by him, but he’ll try to talk to them. he’ll get sad if the kids try to stay away from him :,(

m - morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

↳ he wakes up to an alarm, but as soon as it goes off he turns it off so it doesn’t wake you up. he definitely makes you a super nutritious breakfast to ensure you have all of your nutrients <3

n - night (how are nights spent with them?)

↳ he’s exhausted if he’s coming home from volleyball or police work (timeskip), so he’d definitely just want to shower and climb into bed with you. he falls asleep as he’s telling you what happened that day.

o - open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

↳ he definitely takes a few weeks to a month to open up. he likes telling you stories as long as you tell him your own.

p - patience (how easily angered are they?)

↳ he has a ton of patience from dealing with the first-years and tanaka and noya, so he doesn’t get angry easily.

q - quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

↳ he doesn’t like admitting that he remembers every single minuscule detail about you. he blushes super hard if he does bring something up and you poke fun at him for it.

r - remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

↳ the look on your face when (spoiler for those who haven’t watched lol) karasuno won against shiratorizawa. you looked so proud of him and it only solidified his decision that he wanted to be with you into adulthood.

s - security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

↳ he’s extremely protective. he needs to make sure you’re okay all the time. if you’re in an uncomfortable situation he’ll hold your hand and give it little squeezes. he loves when you whisper sweet nothings into his ear to calm him down.

t - try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

↳ he tries just the right amount. he’s another one who pays for every date and he does something super romantic like a big dinner for anniversaries.

u - ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

↳ he tends to doubt himself as a leader, and he shuts himself out because of it. he hates feeling useless, so assure him that he’s the captain and he makes the team come together at the end of the day. and that you love him of course <3

v - vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

↳ he’s not super concerned, but he will check his hair and uniform in the mirror to make sure he looks good just for you.

w - whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

↳ he wouldn’t feel incomplete, but he will feel weird if he doesn’t have you by his side.

x - xtra (a random headcanon for them)

↳ he likes listening to oldies music <3

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

↳ he wouldn’t like someone irresponsible or immature. he is immature at some points in the anime / manga, but he needs someone who will be responsible with their homework and such. of course, he’ll help you if you’re struggling.

z - zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

↳ he likes to play games on his phone before he goes to bed lol

issa’s 200 follower event!

[tangled-cl0wn-core]

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

Name and link some of your favorite works, please!

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

 HI!! since you asked before sending it, I knew this was coming but my First Cool Guy Tumblr Ask is so neat,, anyway!!

This is my only IT-specific account, but I post almost everything I draw on my instagram, https://www.instagram.com/fabricsofteners/ (I don't know how people make links cool on tumblr aaa) I also have an AO3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangledheadphonecord , where I might post this one really long fic I’m working on (maybe not, as it’s super lame but God am I putting in work)? But mostly it’s just really old stuff atm, and no IT content right now - just some random drabbles from past hyperfixations tbh.

I used to be ‘fabricsofteners’ everywhere besides here - tangledheadphonecord is a username I used for my tumblr because I want a change from the fabricsofteners brand, as I've had it for quite a few years and have just grown kind of bored - just waiting a bit to change my instagram user. I also used to be ‘unbrandedmarkers’ like, three years ago on instagram? but, that era ended fast. I think I might have an old Tumblr under some variation of ‘fabric softener’ but honestly even if anything is up on it I’d probably be embarassed to look at it now.

I watched IT for the first time in 2019, I believe, but wasn’t really in the fandom until actually like, April of this year. I entered the fandom and developed a hyperfixation (sobs) by complete mistake - I read all the fics for michael mell/rich goranski on ao3, and was on a camping trip and wanted to read some Homosexual Fanfiction and literally remembered IT on a whim (rich-to-richie association) and read a bunch of Reddie fics, and it was all down (up?) hill from there.

Unshockingly, I’m sure, Reddie is my number one favourite IT ship. I’m also an enjoyer of Benverly, as well as Stanley/Patty - IT is like, the only fandom where I actually like the canon ships. I do also think Streddie/Stozier is really cute and Bill/Mike (unsure of the shipname?) is nice when I see it!! I think Reddis is cute because I am a total sucker for best-friends-to-lovers, as well asthe  ‘I tease everyone but mostly you’ and the ‘I’m so tired of you bullying me but if you ever stop I’ll cry’ and... just, the entire dynamic that they have. Stanley/Patty - there is no reasoning, I just want Stanley to be happy. Benverly - the way they were each other’s first Meaningful Interactions in so like?? agony, they’re so cute. They both deserve to be happy, and I’m so happy they find that happiness in each other. 

As for characters - Richie is absolutely my favourite. I (unfortunately /hj) kin and relate to him on so many levels it hurts. Having a character that feels that fear of their sexuality because of a horrible environment is painfully real. covering up struggles with humour and all that?? yeah, mood (also, crushing on your best friend-). What he means to me, in a sense, isn’t really canon - I read strictly fix-it fics, because I want to feel that hope that like fanon Richie, I don’t have to hide forever. I can be myself and be happy. Obviously I can’t much look to the movies or anything for that but hey - what’re Andy or Stephen gonna do, tell me to stop reading fics? 

I also really like Stanley!! I don’t,, have a reason. I just think he’s adorable and I love his dynamic with the other Losers a lot. Stanley breathed like, once, and instantly became a comfort character and not even I know why at this point, he just is. Eddie & Bev are up there, too - honestly, Bill is the only Loser I don’t have a strong attachment too. And honestly, he’s growing on me rapidly.

I mostly draw whatever my goblin hyperfixated brain can think of, as well as rebloging just about every post that I see and like (art, jokes, edits, fics, etc.) - I start and stop a lot of fics, maybe one day I’ll finish one but as of yet I have not... Sigh.

I honestly don’t think I do have anyone to tag for inspiration? I follow IT blogs but none I would go to for inspiration (no offense to any mutuals-) inspiration for me is mostly just seeing a pose and going ‘okay’ and suddenly I have a drawing - I have no clue what happens in between.

So, my current all-time favourite IT fic atm is https://archiveofourown.org/works/18213215/chapters/43087232, though I will say it’s a really heavy fic and to read with caution. Going away from Angst, any ‘famous Reddie’ AUs are amazing, but I constantly reread the entire https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560019 series. It’s cute and funny and I THRIVE for domestic Reddie content. 

Actually not Reddie, I throughly enjoyed https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201011 for giving me the Mike content the movies have robbed me of for too long, as well as https://archiveofourown.org/works/25262698 which is pure stanlon greatness and made my heart flutter for the boys more than once.

I don’t really have any IT fics up of my own creation, and honestly my reception in way of Tumblr notes is far better than I expected so honestly, I have none to link lol. As long as I get minimun interaction I will thrive.

I wish I could say I’ve been in anything like a zine or anything, but I have not! I’m relatively new to the fandom (and having a social media dedicated to one thing) so I wouldn’t even know where to begin to join or be qualified for one, y’know? I’ve done art weeks in the past and found them incredibly fun but haven’t seen any for IT - but if anyone does happen to know of any... Feel free to send them my way-

As for the last question - other than like, hyping up Chosen and Jeremy just as much as we do the other IT kids (which, honestly I’m not even sure if is still a problem - I’ve just seen posts about it and it’s made me wary), I’m not sure? I’ve honestly not encountered anything in the fandom I find awful and honestly, for a fandom about a movie that is... Well, IT, I’ve really just kind of enjoyed my time in the fandom thus far?

(I will say we need 200% more attention being drawn to 1990s adult Eddie Kaspbrak, who is one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen - but I also feel that way about James Ransone, so I’m not mad.)

(Also, we should be calling out the 1990s IT more, I watched it recently and it’s so bad /lh)

Anyway!! I feel like this answer was incredibly long and I am so sorry!! But like, thank you so much for asking me anything at all fihabsfhbafb I thrive at any chance to talk about the dumb clown movie. (Also, i’m sorry I say ‘honestly’ so much-)

[truecrimeweekly]

Richard “The Iceman” Kuklinski

This week’s post is about my favorite hitman/serial killer to read about. This man scares me more than any other monster I have researched because I find something comforting and familiar about the way he looks and the sound of his voice. His story actually scares me so much that it’s taken me a couple days to write this post even though I’ve already done the research because it triggers my anxiety, specifically writing about his family life. Hope you guys enjoy, feel free to send me any feedback or requests.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of child abuse, death of a child, animal abuse and death, murder and domestic abuse

Richard Leonard Kuklinski, also known as “The Iceman” was born on April 11, 1935 in Jersey City, New Jersey. It seems as though he never had a chance to be a child. His father, Stanley Kuklinski, was a very abusive alcoholic and beat him and his siblings daily. When Kuklinski was six years old, his father beat his older brother, Florian, to death while intoxicated. After this, Stanley abandoned his family. Unfortunately, Kuklinski’s life did not get any better with his fathers absence. His mother, Anna Kuklinski, believed her children should grow up in a strict household so she hit him routinely. Kuklinski even claimed his mother broke a broomstick over his back. On top of the abuse he suffered at home, he was a target for bullies thanks to his small size. This all made Kuklinski a very angry person. In order to cope with that anger and give himself a sense of power, he would mutilate cats and dogs. 

When Kuklinski was thirteen, he set out to get revenge on the leader of a small neighborhood gang that had been bullying him. He beat the boy to death with a wooden dowel then, to prevent authorities from identifying the body, he cut off his fingers with a hatchet and pulled out his teeth with pliers. Kuklinski claimed he hadn’t planned on killing the boy but proceeded to seek out the rest of the members and beat them almost to death with an iron rod. 

As time went on, Kuklinski became a well-known pool shark who was heavily feared because of his short fuse. He claimed to have killed anyone who he felt rubbed him the wrong way, but had one rule. He would not kill women or children. Unlike most serial killers, Kuklinski did not abuse drugs or alcohol and he did not kill out of lust. He only killed out of anger and later on, for money.

It seems as though Kuklinski was as transparent as can be right? Except he wasn’t. His crimes were kept a secret from his family. His own wife had no idea what he did for a living, though by the time he met her, he was already an experienced killer. When Kuklinski was twenty-five, even though he was already married and had a little boy, he met and fell in love with the eighteen-year-old secretary, Barbara Pedrici, at the trucking company he was working for at the time. Barbara said Kuklinski was charming and always told her he loved her. As their relationship got more serious, Barbara grew worried that she was becoming isolated from her family and friends. She decided to try and end their relationship. When she brought this up to Kuklinski, he took a hunting knife and stabbed her in the back. He told her, “This is an object lesson: never leave me.” After this incident, Barabra found out she was pregnant with his baby. She decided to marry him in order to protect her image. Her family even paid for his divorce. They ended up having three children, two daughters and a son. While Kuklinski adored his family and even said that the time with his family was some of the happiest moments of his life, Barbara said there were two sides to her husband, describing them as “bad Richie” and “good Richie.” She said she never knew which one was going to walk through the door. Good Richie was loving and caring. He spoiled his children, took his family on expensive vacations and regularly visited Disney World with them. Barbara enjoyed these times, living with no worries about finances. If she wanted anything, good Richie made sure she got it. She didn’t know how he was able to afford their lifestyle but she knew better than to question him. Bad Richie was angry and violent. He never hit his children but he beat Barbara so bad, it caused two miscarriages. 

Kuklinski gained a connection to Roy DeMeo(let me know if you guys want to hear about him too) and began pirating pornographic films for the Gambino Crime Family. He was quickly noticed by the higher-ups thanks to his now very intimidating look. The small, weak boy who was bullied for his height now stood six feet, five inches and weighed over 300 pounds. He became an enforcer for the family, making sure debts were paid. He became DeMeo’s favorite enforcer so he decided to put him up to a test. DeMeo randomly selected a target on the streets for Kuklinski to kill. He walked up to the man walking his dog and shot him in the back of the head with no remorse. From this point on, he began doing hits for the Family. He continued this life for thirty years, going out of his way to keep his “work life” away from his family. He claimed to kill anyone who threatened his family, sometimes even entire rooms of people. Since he didn’t have a preferred weapon or style of killing, it was very hard to catch Kuklinski. He also used different methods of hiding the bodies. He earned his nickname “The Iceman” from hiding bodies in a freezer after killing them then dumping them years later. This made it almost impossible to determine the time of death. In 1986, an undercover agent finally caught up with Kuklinski. On December 17, 1986 investigators set up a staged cyanide purchase deal and arrested Kuklinski.

In March of 1988, a jury found him guilty of five counts of murder, though he claimed to have killed over 200 people. He was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences. He would turn 110 before he would be eligible for parole. On March 5, 2006, Kuklinski died from Kawasaki disease, a disease most common in Japanese children. His death was deemed suspicious because it was right before he was supposed to testify against Sammy “The Bull” Gravano(again, if you’d like to hear about him, let me know), a former mobster being tried for murder. One of the things Kuklinski was known for was poisoning some of his victims. Kawasaki disease has almost the exact same symptoms as mercury poisoning. Though his autopsy determined he died from natural causes, many people believed he was poisoned to keep him quiet. What do you think?

As for Barbara and their children, Barbara has changed her name and lives anonymously in New Jersey with her youngest daughter, Christin, and Christin’s boyfriend. Barbara has told an interviewer, “Look at me! I used to shop at Bloomingdale’s. We had a pool. I had the best of everything. I had a cleaner and a housekeeper. I wanted for nothing. If I wanted it, Richard saw that I got it. Now, I worry about the price of paper towels. But I have never been happier in my life. My husband’s dead and gone. Thank God!” Kuklinski’s oldest and favorite daughter, Merrick, keeps his ashes and has done a few interviews about her father. She is the only person to love him until the day he died.

[cecilspeaks]

164 - The Faceless Old Woman (Live)

[applause]

Jeffrey Cranor: I’m really excited, we wrote this script recently coming up in this last performance for tonight. And I got real excited for writing it, cause we haven’t written like a, to do a live show full length in a new voice. And it was a lot of fun to do.

Joseph Fink: Yeah so tonight we are presenting the first Welcome to Night Vale show that is entirely from the point of view of someone who is not Cecil, this is the time when the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home gets to step out from her secret.. place in your home. [laughter] And tell you a little bit about herself.

Jeffrey: One of my favorite things about writing the Faceless Old Woman stuff is cause the way Joseph and I work is that we’ll write episodes or write parts of episodes and pass it to the other and that person will, sometimes have questions but oftentimes just maybe like add something to it. So a lot of times it’s either, when I get stuff back from Joseph and I dunno if he feels the same way getting stuff back form me, with the Faceless Old Woman script it was always either something really hilarious for something really upsetting. [laughter] And I really love that a lot.

Joseph: This is maybe the most upsetting thing we’ve ever written, I hope you guys enjoy it. [laughter]

Jeffrey: Have fun, good night! [applause]

Joseph: I guess we should start that show we talked about.

Jeffrey: Let’s do it. You guys, let’s welcome to the stage your friend and ours, Mara Wilson!

[applause] [long silence]

Mara Wilson: I am the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. Hello. You don’t know me, but I know you. I know you very well. I’ve been going through your medicine cabinet. You take too much Advil. Do you realize how hard that is on your digestion? I know a couple gelcaps and a glass of water before bed can alleviate a morning hangover, but it also puts you in a bad mood, because you don’t get good sleep with all that extra stress you put on your guts. You know what’s a better hangover cure? Not drinking like it’s the last day of community college. I replaced your vodka with clear Windex, and your Advil with Ipecac. This won’t help your hangovers, but it certainly will be more entertaining for me. I don’t sleep, so I need better late night entertainment than Netflix. I’ve already watched every episode of “Money Heist” and “Criminal Man” and “Planet documentary”, I have to spice it up a little bit.

Which reminds me, sorry about the tarantula incident last week. And here I’m speaking specifically to you, Tony. Yes you, in the shirt. The one hoping I’m not talking about you. I’m not sorry you woke up with a tarantula covering your face, nor that it bit you, causing your eyelids to swell up like Kinder eggs filled with purulent discharge instead of toys. I am sorry that I forgot to turn the flash off of my camera, which alarmed both you and the spider, and I never got a good photo. I’ve been building up my portfolio for an art exhibit I call “Gross Things on a Sleeping Tony”. It’s going up June 1, exclusively in your living room.  I’ve already gotten “Open-mouthed Centipede Bouquet” framed. You’re gonna find this show absolutely terrific.  Wait no, not terrific, what’s the word? Terrifying.

Tony, you’re one of my favorites in Night Vale. I know you hate your direct marketing job selling high interest credit cards to twenty-somethings, but the benefits are great. You have health care, a 401k, and you get to take advantage of people less fortunate than you. Everything is its own reward. But I’ve read your poetry, you love poetry. To be fair, there isn’t a big job market for poets, but you need to explore what makes you happy. I tattooed one of my favorite lines of poetry on you last month. It’s by Mary Oliver. “Instructions for living a life. Close your eyes. Be scared. Good luck.” And then I drew a little butterfly next to the words. I’m not the best artists, though, so it kind of looks like a radish or a sarcoma. Doesn’t matter, you still haven’t noticed. It’s just right below your right shoulder blade, don’t try to find it now, it’s still healing and given that I used the metal rod from that fondue set in your closet as the needle, it’s possible it’s infected. Better to leave it alone.

Tony, look at me. Imagine where my eyes would be. You have a lot to work through. I’m here to help you, I really am. I’ll prove it by giving you some advice. If a venomous arthropod is on your face, don’t scream.

Anyway, it’s not you Tony who’s bothering me, it’s the new people. They are elderly, like me, and they just moved into a house in the center of Night Vale. Or maybe this is decades from now, time is a little hazy for me. I’ve never been in this house nor noticed it before they moved in. it’s a one bedroom and there are three of them. I thought polyamory, but they have three separate beds and they never speak to each other, rarely look at each other, and never leave the home. The first night I secretly lived in their home, I realized they never slept either. They brushed their teeth, put on pajamas and get into bed. But they all lie there, eyes open, through silent hours of darkness.

I tried whispering to them but got no response. Usually when I reveal myself in the dark, I get the thrill of witnessing horror dawn across a person’s distorted mouth and bulging eyes as they see my faceless face pressed up against their own. One of the best parts of visiting new residents. But not these three. For once, I’m the frightened one.

Speaking of frightening, did you get your taxes (-) [0:08:20] on time Alex? You, you’re Alex. You with the shoes. I had to file for an extension. I don’t owe any money because I have no income, but I’m over 200 years old, never got a social security number, have no permanent address and I wasn’t born in this country, it’s a lot of paperwork. And Alex, you know your Wi-Fi is terrible and I was having a hard time downloading the forms I needed, so I just wrote my name on some yellowish-black Boston lettuce you’ve left in the crisper for the last three weeks. But the leaves kept falling apart, I think more like melting. After about 20 minutes, I got frustrated and just made myself a salad. Also, I used the last of your parmesan cheese, but don’t worry, I replaced it with dried skin I’ve been collecting from your bed sheets. Don’t be grossed out, Alex. Same texture and nutritional value, you won’t know the difference. I got the idea from a Food Network’s “Beat Bobby Flay”, where this one winner tied up Bobby and ran a (micro-) [0:09:17] across his forehead to make a chimichurri sauce.

I love that show, but I’m a bigger fan of HGTV’s “House Hunters”, the desert dystopian version. That’s where I met you, Addie. Yes you, with the face. You were shopping for a new home here in Night Vale. You told the realtor - who was inside of a living deer, its belly horrifically distended and quivering with every one of the agent’s words and gesticulation – that you wanted three bedrooms, a back yard, and something close to an outdoor community space. The first home, the yard was not in good shape, lots of (- remains) [0:09:55] and the lawn was glowing, perhaps from underground radiation testing. It was well under your budget, but you would have had to spend your savings on fixing it up. Also, in the bathroom mirror you saw, crawling across the ceiling, a faceless old woman devouring what looked like a rat. You didn’t need to worry about a rat infestation, Addie. It was a chipmunk. The second home was a condo right in the heart of the arts district. You loved the design: a simple large black cube, no doors, no windows, no interior. A true closed floor plan, so popular these days. But you weren’t sure there was enough room for entertaining, or anything else at all. The house you selected was perfect. Three bedrooms, a Jacuzzi en suite, and a large patio backyard. Plus it was right in the middle of town next to a community dog park. Although you would be disappointed later to learn that your dog had been arrested for domestic espionage after peeing inside the park’s forbidden walls. I think you made the right choice, Addie, but I can’t help wondering every time I watch “House Hunters”, who is this person running away from? You left Queens to move to Night Vale. Queens is where your family lives, where your best friend lives, and your girlfriend of two years. Are you afraid of stasis, Addie? Of being loved, of commitment? You might be afraid of that pinkish ooze coming out of your ear, might wanna see an ENT about that. Or if not an ENT, an entomologist.

Speaking of putting woodboring beetles inside orifices, I tried a similar thing with the elderly room mates who recently moved to town, or will move to town many years from now, again time is strange to me. But these room mates are also so strange. When I went to put a beetle into one of their ears, I noticed a lot of scar tissue there, making the hole too small. In my haste, the beetle scurried away and I got kind of desperate and just made a bunch of spooky moans and hisses like this: [moans, hisses] but not one of the three responded to me. They continued their meaningless pantomime of sleeping, and in the morning they got up and each went quietly about their days. One of them made coffee, but did not drink it. They then went to the window and waved at their neighbor, Susan Willman, who was on her porch stretching before her morning run. Susan looked at the figure in the window next to her and froze. She stared in terror, then darted back into her home and locked the door. Susan has always been unfriendly. I ran her bed sheets through her office shredder as a reminder to be more open and loving toward the world.

The other two room mates climbed into the shower at the same time. I’m not one to get off on others’ sexual activities, I just thought I might see something new, something human here. But no, they stood side by side, cleaning their cold gravity-defeated bodies, not once looking at each other let alone speaking. A squelch and a squish and grey water falling around yellow toenails. They toweled off, but when they hung the towels up, those towels were completely dry.

I’m used to being the one who does inexplicable and disturbing things. Last year during the community players’ production of “Romeo and Juliet”, I decided it would be more fun if they used actual poison. But it was a last minute idea, so the only poison I could find was Borax. Which just gave the two kids playing the leads several unhappy hours in the bathroom on the night after the show ended, so I don’t know. I could have made a stronger directorial choice. But so could the actual director, I get that Shakespeare plays are long, but he cut out all the best parts like the train robbery, and also Tybalt winning his bowling league. Although I did appreciate that they left in Juliet’s famous line: “Good night, good night, your blood and guts and marrow, which worms shall eat inside your grave so narrow.” It’s a classic story. Kids these days just don’t try to fake their own deaths anymore.

Oh. And Morgan. Yes Morgan, I’m talking to you, you with the fingernail sand the teeth. I need to explain something to you. You tip 20 per cent. You can afford it, stop using it as a measure of how much you approve of the restaurant service. A 20 per cent tip is not  bonus, it’s a fee. Restaurant owners don’t pay their staffs, instead they make the diners pay their employees through this idiotic notion of capitalist meritocracy. I don’t care how bad the service, tip them. You have money, Morgan. I would also tell you to stop asking to speak to a manager every time your Long Island Ice Tea is a bit like, but I got out your tongue last month, so they wouldn’t understand you anymore anyway. Do you know what a cut human tongue tastes like, Morgan? Yes you do. You just don’t know that you do. Remember Applebee’s last week? You ordered soup. It was a beef base with  little onions and little perfectly sautéed flecks of your own tongue that you had used to lash out at a manager the last time you ate there. You could blame them for poorly expediting your orders, but really the onus is on you for going to Applebee’s. Which serves neither of the items its name promises. It’s false advertising. It’s like an egg cream soda, or Taco Bell.

Speaking of eating, the elderly room mates made lunch together, but not for each other. They were all in the kitchen at the same time making separate meals in silence. They sat around the dining room table together and ate. They carved and stabbed and pushed foods quickly into their mouths, but their eyes were empty. One of them began to spit out their food. No one seemed to care or notice. They all began to vomit, but not with muscular heaves of shoulders and necks, the vomit spurted out like water from a hand pump, their torsos and heads perfectly still. After each bodily rejection of food, they would start shoveling it back to their mouths, repeating the same process. Eventually one of them stood up and threw their plate into the kitchen window, glass bursting everywhere. That person leaned into the hole and began punching the jagged shards out with their clenched fists as blood poured out of their forearms and wrists. They screamed mournfully into the suburban street. Neighbors and passers-by passed only briefly, as if they had barely heard the sad howls spreading across the valley. Susan’s lemon tree next door died instantly and all the lemons fell with wet plops to the ground. The fruit pealed open and inside of each was a fleshy crimson pulp, like meat that has been ground for too long. The other two room mates kept eating and vomiting, not even noticing the shattered glass being subsumed by the growing pool of blood on the floor.

You know, I wasn’t always like this, faceless or old. Secretly living anywhere. Once I was born upon warm water. The smell I remember is sharp citrus and the peppery sting of grass. The salt funk of ocean. I was once a child. I grieved once. I smelled blood. Once I was a thief. I lived among thieves, I saw empires rise and fall, centuries cast themselves upon infinity as fruitlessly as waves upon cliffs. Once I was a recluse. I lived amongst bandits and farmers, I spoke a different language then. I’ve spoken many languages.

Once I was under the sea. That was a quiet time. I lived amongst the coral and dead-eyed fish. Once I was a wanderer. I’ve seen the (head) [0:18:14] waters of the Mississippi and I’ve seen the cobbled streets of Paris and I’ve seen the empty arches of Franchia. But I’ve never seen anything like those three room mates. Of all the things I've been – child, thief, recluse, wandered, faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, I’ll tell you this: I’ve never been more scared.

Fear is in the unknowing and the mystery. Fear is seeing everything about an old woman except her face. Fear is the uncertainty of her secretly living in your home. Fear is not the spider you see on the wall. It’s the spider you no longer see on the wall when you look back again.

In the unnerving din of shattered glass and mournful howls of that house, I found the loose thread that unraveled this mystery. The room mate who screamed had no tongue. And one of the others had an ear swollen shut from a previous surgery. And the other had a red mark, like a radish or sarcoma adorned with poetry drawn upon their shoulder blade. I realized I knew these three strange room mates. They are you, Tony, the special tattoo I gave you. And they are you, Addie, with your oral scar tissue from the beetle I jammed in there. And you, Morgan, with your tongue removed and digested. The three of you do not exactly live together in that home, not at the same time. You are living three different lifetimes in that same space. You do not speak or respond, because you are dead. Each of you alone in that house together, or you will be, time is confusing for me. Decades from now after you die, your souls will be trapped in the house, because something in this world is unresolved for you. You know this, paranormal neuroscience is required for all high school freshmen. But what they don’t teach you is how to resolve it. I know how and when each one of you die. I wrote it down on the back pages of your journals. Iv’e done this for everybody, but nobody ever reads it, because while people always think they’ll write every day, after a few pages they fall off the wagon and never see the lsat pages of their journals. Except Jonathan Franzen. He didn’t seem bothered by what he read. But he did cross out all my adverbs and added some Oxford commas. In case you’re wondering how Jonathan Franzen dies, here’s the answer: he doesn’t.

I am the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. You might find this ambiguous, after all the word “home” is singular. So whose home is it that I secretly live in? Listen, some things in this tangled world are simple. I live in your home, and your home, and your home, I live in all of your homes simultaneously. I am many. [echo] I am many. I am one. [echo] I am one. You all live such different lives, teeming, that’s what you are: teeming. And I am there watching you.

You, Tony, you dream of being a poet. Resolve the unresolved. The worst that can happen is crushing disappointment and public mockery, and eviction when you can’t pay your rent. Many more awful things after that, get to it!

And you, Addie, you fled your previous city to escape a murder charge. Strangely, you didn’t commit the murder you were charged with, but you have committed murder. Weird choice to go on “House Hunters” as a wanted fugitive, but maybe it was a good first step to healing your soul.

And you, Morgan. You have an idea that could save us all, an epic defining idea, one of the greats, but you don’t know which one. You have so many ideas. I can tell you this: most of them are not important. One of them is vitally important. Good luck. Also, tip 20 per cent.

And you, I forgot your name, you tweet too much. We all tweet too much, but that doesn’t let you off the hook. That’s why I ate your phone. You can thank me later. You can all thank me later. Because you all will be seeing me soon. I think that tonight is the night to let slip my secret. You’ll soon see me fumbling wet and gray from out of the bathroom mirror, or folded up strangely loose skin and mashed bones in the bottom drawer of your dresser. Or you will see me scuttle on your walls, the hair hanging down from my faceless face. Or you will look out your kitchen window and there will be someone standing in your driveway, and it will be me, and there will be no one in the driveway and instead, I will be next to you in the kitchen. Faceless and so very very old. Won’t that be nice?

I’m the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. And your home. And your home. And every home. And I will be seeing you very, very soon.

[music, applause]

Today’s proverb: Never judge a book by its cover. Judge it by the title page instead.

[vaguely-concerned]

Here have some Codsworth thoughts

because I love him

- Can you believe... that he kept himself going for TWO HUNDRED YEARS... on the faintest glimmer of a hope that one day he might find the distant descendants of his family... fuck... I’m not crying this is just eye condensation I’m never leaving you again buddy

- I find it very interesting that Mr Handys (and the ‘female’ models like Curie I forget the name) seem to come in an extremely wide range of how self-aware/sentient and, for lack of better word, person-like they are? from Deezer and the ‘thank god these robots are still around to educate our children about the ocean’ bots, who seem completely unable to even take in their surroundings, through the ones that have been reprogrammed and gone a bit... wonky, like the ones at graygarden, to the likes of curie and whitechapel charlie and codsworth, who all very much seem to have Their Own Thing going, constructing and following their own interests and values. this might really be a case of how much ‘leeway’ the humans around them have given them in going outside their default programming, if Curie’s case is anything to go by. it might also have something to do with what models they are -- codsworth was intended for domestic tasks including child rearing and was pretty new, so maybe that makes a difference in capabilities?

(they also seem to be capable of remaining in a ‘shallower’ level of programming almost as a trauma response, to stave off truly taking in the horrors around them and, presumably, going slightly nuts from it the way a human also would. Codsworth clearly sticks with a slightly manically chipper EVERYTHING IS OKAY ACTUALLY I’M GOING TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF WAXING THESE IRRADIATED FLOORS AND NOTHING IS WRONG LALALA (much to the chagrin of the vault tech guy which... is so funny fjsdkafhsdf). but from the moment he sees you again that starts to crack and it’s clear he’s known what’s going on beneath that the whole time -- just consider how he reflects on how deathly quiet it was the first few days after the bombs fell.)     

so my feeling here is that the Sole Survivor & fam kept Codsworth’s programming pretty free and treated him as part of their family and thus... that’s exactly what he became, and on top of that he’s been around for a really long time in an unchanged state so he’s been able to grow and change solely under his own judgement. (I like to headcanon that removing some of the restrictions on his programming is where my SS got a lot of her knowledge of computers, actually; she had to occupy herself with something while heavily pregnant lol)

- ...it is a sobering thought that every single Mr Handy bobbing around the Commonwealth might have the capacity for developing true sentience and personhood and that only restrictions in their programming stops them. this is like the first time I thought a little too long about the droids in Star Wars and had to pour myself a drink all over again

- logically it seems like he’s probably spent a lot more time with the female PC than the male, since he would have been away at war a lot of the time after they bought Codsworth. (which makes it all the more devastating that his voice line for dying permanently sounds like he’s scared but mostly confused if you’re a male character and heartbroken and terrified when you’re the female. fjdfhasdlfh right in the heart) 

Codsworth can comment that he remembers waiting at the airport with her the day her husband came home, and just -- the grief in his voice as he catches himself T____________T fuck dude

- and it’s not like he’s blindly loyal to you either -- in fact he’s one of the most vicious companions in reprimanding you if you’re being cruel and he’ll leave permanently if you let it go on for long enough. his dedication isn’t just preprogrammed fawning, he has the ability to choose and he will. (I mean the reason he is SO disappointed in you if you’re an asshole is that unlike the other companions upon first meeting you, he already loves you -- or at least he did, 200 years ago, and if you fail to live up to the person you were back then it’s almost like you’ve taken his family from him all over again 🙃🙃🙃 boi I love pain)

- the fact that he shares a voice actor with nick valentine still has me reeling. that dude must be a goddamn magician, I would never have guessed it

- anyway thank u bethesda for letting me tell him I see him as family too, now pls let him react to me bringing bb!shaun home with me because you know no one would ever have been happier about anything in the history of the world

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

well done for 200! could I have a HP ship please! I’m 5’3, ENFP, enneagram type 7, ravenclaw! I have quite a few hobbies and am always down to try something new- often I crave change! I can’t really stand silence and WILL open my mouth and not stop talking. I’m also v clumsy, forgetful and lack common sense so someone streetsmart would be ideal! My love language is acts of service, I like to tease ppl and playfully fight! Ideally, someone smart and level headed, as I’m argumentative. (Part 1!)

I’m def a city girl! as there’s sm to do and see! I’d also like someone who’d go to the gym with me, and I’m a complete sucker for domestic stuff!! I love cuddles and am a teeny bit touch starved! Oh also, I’m vv squeamish and can’t stand the sight of wounds/operations/needles etc. I’m also easily scared and vvvvv ticklish! I hope I’ve given you enough!! and congrats again for 200!!!! xoxo (part 2) A/N: I hope you enjoy!!! Read about my monthiversary celebration and how to participate here!  masterlist 

I ship you with... Fred Weasley! You meet during your 5th year when you are paired up for a transfiguration project. You didn’t know each other, due to being in different houses, but you had definitely heard of the infamous Weasley Twins. You were a bit nervous, thinking you would have to do the entire project by yourself, but you were pleasantly surprised.  He is extremely smart and level headed, not to mention weirdly motivated. He had always thought you were cute (having seen you in classes,) so he had his heart set on impressing you. Not to mention, he is naturally rather clever so the project wasn't hard to begin with.  As you two grew closer, he started to pick on you a bit for your height. All in good fun, of course. You’re cute when you’re angry, I can’t help it, babe. You would fire back with a tall comment, and thus the tease war begins.  Much like you, he doesn’t like silence, so there is never a silent moment between you two. He could speak to you for HOURS-- and he does. He loves to hear about small things like your day, or how whats-her-name from Ravenclaw has a crush on Professor Snape. Even when he doesn’t care, he still at least pretends to listen.  When you disagree on things, though, he will sit and listen to your argument before offering his own. He’s very stubborn with his opinions, though, so good luck trying to sway him. BUT! He is extremely respectful and will never take the argument too far.  If you like change, Fred is the guy for you. He is constantly trying to liven up the place, so he doesn’t really get stuck on things for long periods of time. Expect you, of course. He is CONSTANTLY working on something new or trying new business strategies, so there is never a dull moment with him.  Due to your clumsiness, he always has a tight arm around your waist. Don't want you to fall and break such a pretty face, love. It would be such a shame.  When Fred and George leave in their big fireworks show, they convince you to go with them. The school was a hell hole in the first place, so you happily agreed. Living with Fred is a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.  You obviously live with them above their shop, so you’re smack dab in the middle of the city. After Fred and you were done working at your jobs, he would take you out on the town to the cinema or to get drinks. Or, if you had a bad day, he would run a nice warm bath for you, make you your favorite meal, and put your pajamas in the dryer to warm.  It’s all about the small things with this boy, so expect a lot of small things to be done. You hate laundry? Fred’s got it covered. Can’t walk to bed cause you’re so tired? He’ll carry you. On your period and need tampons? He’ll get them for you. He loves your laugh and will do anything to hear it. Especially tickle you any chance he gets.   All and all, Fred loves you to death and will do anything for you. 

[irikahkrios]

i've talked about this before but postcanon emmett goes to college, gets a degree that lets him teach theatre and becomes a high school theatre teacher. and boy do i love that for the aesthetic alone, considering how emmett looks and acts at this point postcanon

so picture this chubby, hairy guy, scruffy red beard, long (mid-back) curly red hair in a ponytail with a bit of gray at the temples, shows up to work every day in either 1) hawaiian shirts with cargo shorts or 2) elvis-style jumpsuits (which isn't actually that weird for the sci-fi setting. jumpsuits are very much A Thing in mass effect just like they're A Thing in 90's star trek, but most probably aren't as shiny and flamboyant as the ones this dude is wearing), mechanical prosthetic arm and leg, generally kinda looks like he's Been Through Some Shit but in like, a cool uncle kinda way. personality-wise, he's a riot. insists students call him by his first name (because, he tells them, he hyphenated his last name when he got married and hoo boy is it a mouthful), shows the class videos of his cats and the students all know his cats by name, his little office in the back of the classroom is plastered with more cat pictures, as well as pictures of him with his wife and two husbands, and their three or four kids (there's an adult drell who's obviously his husband and wife's son/his stepson, but his students aren't sure if that big-ass krogan is really His Kid Who He Raised or if he's just fucking with them. attempts to ask him have not cleared this up in the slightest) who are all different species. he's openly bi and trans, has pride flags hanging on his classroom walls (shhh it's the future public schools won't be so shitty in 200 years) and wears pride flag pins to match. he tells bad dad jokes. he's the warmest, funniest presence who makes you feel so seen and listened to and appreciated. if you're being bullied he'll fight like hell to get the "little shit" responsible (also he is capable of swearing like a sailor in front of his students and it's great) to answer to the school's higher authorities. he's that teacher all the "weird kids" bond with. he's every cool teacher you had in high school rolled into one sweet, jolly bastard.

and the funniest part about this silly, loving dude who makes learning about the history of theatre fun? he's the greatest, most famous, most profoundly respected war hero in the history of the galaxy. he led the team that saved the galaxy from total annihilation on no less than three occasions. he personally detonated the device that destroyed the reapers, fully prepared to sacrifice his own life in the process. he has literally died once before and was brought back to life after his stalker stole his corpse and gave it to a terrorist organization that spent two years rebuilding him to fight the reapers, because they knew that he was the only one who could. he's space jesus, in the flesh, he saved the lives of everyone in the galaxy and now he's working at your high school going off on a pre-class tangent about the musical cats and its unfair treatment after some bad vid adaptation in the late 2010s-early 2020s. one of his own cats is named after the model of shotgun he used the most during the reaper war. one of the husbands he tells silly domestic stories about so fondly is garrus goddamn vakarian, his famous right-hand man and lover, a respected war hero in his own right and, depending on how many decades this is post-canon (i feel like he needs 20-30 years to grow into it/get the experience required/become comfortable with the idea), possibly the fucking primarch of the turian hierarchy. and your theatre teacher talks about him like it's no big deal, "oh garrus did this," "oh garrus said this funny thing to me the other day," "oh we were at disney world this past summer and they had dextro churros so garrus got to try a churro for the first time." you try to picture the turian primarch eating a churro. you cannot. not until your theatre teacher shows you a picture, himself and his husband with their levo and dextro churros, respectively, in hand. they are both wearing mickey mouse ears. these men stopped the reapers three times.

this man walked into your school and asked for a job teaching theatre to high schoolers. hell, he probably wouldn't even have needed to go to college and get a degree for it if he didn't want to, he could have just walked up to the front desk and said "hi i'm emmett shepard, i want a job here teaching theatre, my qualifications are that i'm emmett shepard" and they would have fucking given him the job. it's surreal. it's something out of a comedy vid. you can't fucking believe it. his wife, irikah krios, is the brilliant doctor who singlehandedly jump-started research into the treatment of her species' most common terminal illness, all while on the run from batarian slavers who wanted her family dead. you just learned about her accomplishments in your biology class yesterday. she and her husband thane fought in the reaper war too. there's a picture on your theatre teacher's wall of her holding up a corgi that's dressed like wonder woman.

your theatre teacher, emmett fucking shepard (shepard-vakarian-krios, he is quick to correct people), saunters into class today, his wild red hair pulled into a bun and his cargo shorts a camo pattern in garish rainbow colors. ("found 'em at the thrift shop the other day! my size, rainbow as hell, only thing is i fuckin' hate camo. stood there for twenty minutes tryin' to decide if i should get 'em or not. eventually thane said i should go for it, that it was meant to be or somethin'. so here they are!") thane, as mentioned before, is their other husband. he is one of the most deadly assassins in the galaxy. through your teacher, you know that he is now retired and spends his time tending a garden of succulents and practicing yoga. you have seen pictures of him somehow managing to balance six cats on his body at once. emmett fucking shepard-vakarian-krios, the hero of the galaxy and the guy who teaches your fifth period theatre class, starts on one of his characteristic pre-class tangents. he calls the phantom of the opera a "creepy incel." you like him very, very much.

[thedenimdentist]

Role Club Underdogs: Ordering Process, Unboxing & First Impression

Introduction

Brian Truong (@brianthebootmaker) is a boot maker based in Los Angeles, CA. He works out of a shop with his teacher, where he works resoling and building custom boots. Over the years, Brian has created a catalog of several styles of boots and shoes, most of which can be seen on his Instagram. He is most widely known for his iconic engineer boot (which I have already placed an order for).

In order for Brian to build you a pair of custom made to measure boots, he requires a set of measurements for each foot. Ideally, Brian takes these measurements of your feet himself (for those lucky enough to live nearby or are willing to travel to his shop). For everyone else, Brian allows you to submit your own foot measurements using a guide available on his website. 

Ordering Experience

Living in California, I was lucky enough to be able to stop by Brian’s shop to be personally measured. During my visit, I was wearing my Java Waxed Flesh Trumans. Just by looking at the way these boots were creased and broken in, Brian could immediately tell that these boots were too large for my feet. I explained that I have to size up in all boots in order to accommodate my full length orthotic inserts. When I told him that leaving out the orthotic was not an option, Brian said he could wrap a pair of my memory foam orthotics in vegtan leather, and use this in place of his standard leather insole. By doing so, he would be able to size my boots appropriately rather than leave room to accommodate both my foot plus the additional insert. 

(Above is the orthotic Brian wrapped in leather and used for my insole. I purchased these off Amazon and mailed them to his shop after my visit.)

After a few discussions with Brian (both in person and via Instagram afterward), we settled on the following Underdog design:

Leather: natural Essex vegtan leather

Upper stitching: white

Hardware: Brass eyelets/speed hooks (5/2/1)

Last: 100 last

Toe: unstructured

Outsole: white cork half sole and heels

Heel style: low woodsman

Edge finish: raw/natural

Custom orthotic-leather hybrid insole

(Left: A mock-up I created on Photoshop of what I was looking for, using photos off Brian’s Instagram. Right: The photo taken by Brian of my actual Underdogs. Not bad!)

For my Underdogs, I was debating between Brian’s 2307 and 100 last, but ultimately decided to get the 100 last (mostly due to my affinity for slimmer profile boots). For a more in-depth summary of all the lasts/toe shapes Role Club toe has available, I will link you to Brian’s YouTube video.

If I had to describe my interactions with Brian, I would say they were...concise. He is a man of few words, always getting straight to the point with fairly short responses. I feel like my level of excitement when I visited his shop may have been a little over the top for Brian’s more soft-spoken personality, but I still found the whole experience quite enjoyable. He’s a nice guy who is passionate about his craft, and it was cool to be able to meet and support him.

Price, Lead Time, & Shipping

The cost to reserve a pair of Role Clubs is $200, regardless of which model boot/shoe you are ordering. I made this deposit during my visit to Brian’s Los Angeles shop on 8/21/2019, reserving me a pair of boots he estimated would be completed in April 2020. After months of waiting, I received an email from Brian on 4/27/2020 stating that my boots were completed. I paid the remaining balance for the boots ($880 + $35 domestic shipping), my boots were shipped on 4/30/2020, and they arrived on 5/3/2020. In total, I waited about 8.5 months for this pair.

Unboxing

The boots arrived fairly quickly (a day earlier than expected). Upon arrival, there was nothing overly extravagant with the packaging. The Role Club box seems fairly sturdy. It’s a nice white box with vibrant blue print. A nice touch is the information on the side of the box containing my name and details of the boot.

Within the box, the boots were packaged individually within clear plastic bags. Clean, standard, basic. No frills, greeting cards, extra padding/card stock dividers, or spare laces (like some of the other MTO boots I’ve received). Nevertheless, this packaging was enough to adequately protect the boots during transit, as I could not find any scratches or damage to either boot.

Top View & Toe Shape

Surprisingly, the 100 last didn’t result in as slim of a toe box as I had expected. This may just be due to how Brian had to adjust the last based on the measurements of my wide bunions? Comparing them to some of my other boots, I would say my 100 last toe shape is similar to, but slightly less angular than the Truman P-79 last and drastically rounder than my Onderhouds.

If anyone is interested, I’ve also written reviews for both of these boots: my Java Waxed Flesh boots by Truman Boot Company and my Onderhoud Handmade derbies in Badalassi cognac. 

Design & Pattern

Front view. Pretty standard service boot.

The inside neck of the left boot (above) is embossed with Brian’s Role Club logo. These boots are unstructured, so I’m excited to see how the toe box collapses with wear. 

The outside neck of the right boot (above) shows the outline stitching for a Role Club fabric tag visible from inside the boot. Brian mentioned in one of his YouTube videos that he does this intentionally, as the white thread will pop more and more as the leather darkens.

I really like the stitch design of the heel stay and counter. I’ve always liked the look of triple stitching, and the wavy loop stitching going up the vertical strip is very tight and clean; beautiful!

Sole & Heel

It seems (based on Brian’s Instagram feed) that most of his natural Essex boots are finished using his Role Club natural cork half sole and heels. While this look is very clean, I personally found it a little too monochromatic and uniform. Thus, I decided to go for something a little more unique and chose his white cork half sole and heels. While the white is a little more flashy, I think it adds the perfect amount of contrast to break up the natural leather and raw edge finish of the midsole. It may not be for everyone, but I like it, and I figured I could alway resole the boots with a different color in the future (like brown or black) after the upper leather darkens with wear. 

As for the heel shape, I decided to go with Brian’s “low woodsman.” At the time I placed my order, I did not have any experience with anything other than low block heels. Brian’s full woodsman heel would’ve been a huge jump out of my comfort zone, and honestly felt a little daunting. The low woodsman heel seemed like a safe middle ground and a nice stepping stone toward a more substantial curved heel. (Since placing this order, I’ve had experience with several other boots with woodsman heels, and may choose to get Brian’s full woodsman on my next pair of engineers.)

Of all the woodsman heels I’ve seen online, I think Brian’s style is probably one of my favorites. The angulation and curvature of the heel are more subtle than a lot of others (like on my Onderhoud derbies), and they’re finished very tightly to the upper, leaving a very slim and minimal welt around the heel of the boot. The stacked leather and soles are all nicely polished and smooth to the touch.

Stitching & Finishing

After thorough inspection, I’ve found the stitching on both the uppers to be some of the cleanest work I’ve seen on a pair of boots. The stitch density is all uniform and tight, with all stitch lines parallel and evenly spaced. I didn’t find a single stitch out of place or loose/hanging threads. 

Here is a detailed photo of Brian’s embossed logo on the left inner ankle. The logo design is clean and simple, and it’s placement is discrete and will be hidden majority of the time beneath my pant leg. I personally really like it, and I look forward to seeing how it patinas.

If you look closely, you can see that the sewing needle may have sightly punctured the leather beyond the boundary of the tag (above the top left corner). I don’t have any issues with it, and I would hardly count this as a “stitching error.” 

Look how symmetric, parallel, and evenly spaced all the stitching is, even along the curved heel strip. Not sure how difficult this is to do, but I’m impressed.

Below I’ve provided an excessive amount of photos of the welt stitching. Overall, very clean, tight, and uniform. I’ve grown to really like when each individual welt stitch is slightly angled, which can mildly be seen on these Role Clubs. 

Here I’ve compared the single welt stitching of these Role Clubs to the Veldtschoen double welt stitching of my Onderhouds. I would say that the actual stitch length between the two is fairly similar, but the Onderhoud stitches may be pulled tighter, resulting in slightly larger stitch holes and spacing between the stitches. The angulation in the Onderhoud stitching is also slightly more pronounced, which I do like, but both of these look awesome. 

Below I’ve placed my Trumans with stitchdown construction alongside my Role Clubs and Onderhouds for reference. I’ll let the photo speak for itself. (Although, I will acknowledge that stitching over a toe cap may be difficult and could be to blame for some of the stitchdown inconsistencies, but that’s beside the point.)

Now I don’t mean to bash on Truman here, as I believe the structural integrity of all three of these boots are solid. That being said, you can definitely see a difference in the cleanliness and precision of the welt stitching of the Role Clubs and Onderhouds in comparison to the Trumans. However, the Trumans are also a fraction of the price ($480 vs. $1080), so I would expect the finishing on these Role Clubs to be a step above.

When it comes to buying premium boots, at a certain point the law of diminishing returns really comes into play. In other words, once you hit a certain price threshold, you’re going to get a quality-made, functioning, long-lasting boot (assuming you’re buying from a legitimate, well-known boot brand). As price continues to increase, you’re no longer paying for a higher-functioning boot, as much as you’re paying for the attention to detail and craftsmanship with which the boot was made. This can manifest in visible qualities (such as the cleanliness of the stitching, sole polishing, and overall finishing of a boot), as well as details below the surface (like 360-degree hand sewn welting the uppers to the insoles, or making all your thread by hand (*cough* Goto-San of White Kloud *cough*). If this attention to detail and appreciation for the craft are qualities you appreciate in your boots, then these higher-end boots may be worth their higher price point. If not, it’s all good. To each their own.

Lol sorry. End rant.

Above, you can see a couple spots where the welt stitches aren’t perfectly aligned. Extremely, extremely minor, and the closest thing I could find to an “inconsistency” in stitching on the entire boot (the upper included), which is quite impressive.

A couple little rough dents along the edge of the welt here on the outside of the left boot. Doesn’t bother me, I can’t see it when I’m wearing the boots, and will probably disappear quickly during the break-in process.

All the stitching on the soles is very clean, with the outer stitching being a little more dense than the inner row. If you look closely, both the half soles fall slightly short of the pencil guide lines. Again, this will fade away once broken in. It’s also on the bottom of the boot, essentially invisible during wear. Zero issues. 

Sizing, Fit, & Comfort

According to the box, my size is a 29 1/2 (whatever that means). All I know is, these boots were custom made by Brian based on the measurements he took of my feet, so they should fit like a glove (boot?)—and they absolutely do.

In my hand, these feel like a sturdy boot and have a good amount of weight to them. They felt comparable to my Java Waxed Flesh Trumans, which are a rugged tank of a boot. As soon as I slid them on, I could tell these boots were definitely custom made for me. Up until now, I’ve had boots that were “wide enough” for my bunions, and were a size large enough to accommodate both my feet and the full length orthotic insoles. Never have I been able to comfortably put on a properly sized pair of boots without my orthotics—until now. 

I just want to take a second to spotlight the magic that Brian worked with this insole. TMI: The main reason I need to use these memory foam insoles is because the balls of my feet are terribly bony, to the point where I can’t even stand on hard floors barefoot without wincing in pain. Thus, I can barely even stand on the hard leather insoles typically found in boots without added cushioning.

As I mentioned earlier, I mailed Brian a pair of these memory foam orthotic insoles. If you look closer at the orthotics, you’ll see that they come with a contoured top surface with a plastic skeleton supporting the arch and heel cup. Brian managed to remove the plastic cup and all of the contour, and then stitched leather over the top. This created built-in flat leather insole with the cushion in the forefoot that I need! I’m absolutely mind blown. Brian is a magician. (I apologize if I’ve dwelled too long on this topic, but this is a big deal to me...and this is my review, so sorry not sorry.) 

Compared to the rest of my boot collection, these Role Clubs probably have the chunkiest toe shape. However, once these were on-foot, they didn’t look or feel chunky at all. The tongues are thinner compared to the rest of the uppers, making them a little floppy and tend to fold when tying the boots. Luckily they’re gusseted, which helps keep them in place. Overall the upper leather is already fairly soft and supple, so I don’t foresee too terrible of a break in period. 

Conclusion

Overall, I am extremely happy with how these Role Club Underdogs turned out. Keep in mind that I was inspecting these boots with my 100mm macro lens, so all the irregularities I pointed out are actually very tiny and essentially unnoticeable in social settings. These are my first pair of natural vegtan boots, so I can’t wait to start breaking them in and seeing how this leather patinas. 

These Underdogs, as well as all other Role Club boots, may cost a little more than the average stock boots from other reputable brands. However, but I believe the customizability offered by Brian, as well as his build quality and pristine finishing, makes it worth the premium price. Would I order from Brian again in the future? Yes, and I already have. I placed a second $200 deposit last October 2019 for a pair of his classic engineers, which are due to be completed in November 2020. From what I’ve heard, Brian’s waitlist has already extended well into 2022 (at least June), so if you’re thinking about picking up a pair for yourself, I’d recommend jumping on that quick.

I still plan on writing a follow-up review on these gorgeous Underdog boots, where I will be able to expand upon the fit, break-in, and patina of this natural vegtan leather. But until then, HAGS and TTYL.