#they have flaws and value and its all shit that makes them

[fandomsnrambles]

Got like… a question for people who hate or dislike misako, nya, harumi, maya and other female characters…

Who are they to you outside of being someones love interest/ sister/ mother?

Like genuinely can you describe who Misako is without tying her to Garmadon or as a mother? She’s flawed but hating Misako to lift up Garmadon has never made sense. Can you add nuance to your takes when realising she left in order to find a way to make sure her family didnt break further? She left to make sure her husband and son didnt kill eachother?

can you give me a reason for why you hate Nya other than her valid criticisms for Jay? In fact, could you listen to her criticisms before saying ‘i hate how she makes Jay feel’ as if shes not lashing out BECAUSE of how Jay is making HER feel? Or do her feelings not matter as much as his?

Could you add nuance to Harumi that isnt calling her degradatory words like ‘sly bitch,’ ?

Why can’t you give the same grace and nuance to the female characters as you do the men? Are they just not worth the same effort and time to understand?

[left-reminders]

People who will be voting for Harris as a vote against Trump, people who will be voting third party (Green, Socialist, Communist, etc), and people who will not be voting for anti-hegemony philosophical reasons need to stop strawmanning each other. The case can be made for each of these, and I am not going to begrudge principled individuals who arrive at different conclusions from me.

I mostly wanted to make this post because I get annoyed when I see people in the first camp condemn people in the latter two camps — accusing them of "valuing their abstract moral purity over domestic lives" (because most actually-principled first-campers will concede that lives abroad are destroyed either way). There's always this strawman of a white, straight, middle-class brocialist/anarchist who refuses to vote for the establishment candidate out of some privileged crusade, rather than the reality of the situation (people of all demographics having valid and nuanced opinions on the topic of not voting or voting third party). In order for the strawman to work, you need to ignore the millions of people — of diverse backgrounds and identities — who don't fit the mold of a sheltered obstinate brocialist non-voter.

By the same token, most people in my life fall into the first camp and I'm not comfortable assuming that they (and everyone else doing the same) are just shills capitulating to imperialism. People are free to vote defensively (especially in a heavily-constrained "democratic" system where voting offensively so rarely bears fruit) and I don't think that compromises their anti-capitalist principles. So long as they're not spending their energy blasting people in the latter two camps, people in the first camp ought to be respected.

Whatever the case, I hope we can all recognize the flaws in the camp that enthusiastically votes for Harris and the Democratic Party. The camp that acts like they're The Resistance™ and yet can't be bothered to conceive of a world beyond the limits of the neoliberal imagination. The camp that will sweep genocide-enabling and corporatism and climate change acceleration under the rug if it means Their Team can win the next election. The camp that thinks Trump is some aberrant force outside of the American system, rather than a natural outgrowth of its injustices and imperial histories.

Let's all at least agree that that shit is worth condemning. This bullshit, and this bullshit, in other words.

This bullshit ☝️👆 is neoliberal brain rot

[arcan3-reliquary]

VERITAS RATIO HEADCANONS (because we need more content of him that's him-centric)

And because you guys asked. Most of these headcanons are purely based on my readings of him or have 0 basis in canon, so if you don’t like them, feel free to scroll past them!!

fighting the war on autism on the side of autism. As a neurodivergent he's very nd coded to me, especially with the fact that he's a very caring person but terrible with emotions and words. He's losing the idgaf war so badly like there's no way a neurotypical person has a temper that short over the most (seemingly) inane shit

Kind of pasty. not just like porcelain skin, like clay-sickly-victorian-boy type palor. He tries to go outside more often, but by the nature of his job he's rather sedentary and inside alooot. He's perfectly healthy, he just looks like that. Same complexion as Freminet in my head, with fewer freckles and a tooth gap he likes to deny he has.

Wears the alabaster headpiece not just to deal with idiots, but to self regulate out in public. It blocks out smells, and dampens sound and light enough for him to tolerate some of the veeery overstimulating environments he visits.

For a man that values creativity explicitly, not enough people seem to believe he’d have an interest in the arts. So I think he's into sculpting. A chisel and hammer are very comforting weights in his hand, and while he doesn't particularly care for pottery or wet clay, he gets why it's so well liked. He uses himself as reference mostly because he's most familiar with his own body and asking others can be awkward or seen as weird.

The dude has extremely obscure taste in sci-fi novels. Like he will yap on and on about why he can't stand most sci-fi and recommend the most odd shit out there if asked.

Not really a hc, but he has very brittle self-esteem. It simply comes with the territory of being labeled “gifted” or “a child genius.” For years, a lot of his perceived worth came from the quality of his work or academic validation, and now his big reason for staying in academics isn't the knowledge itself, but rather the joy of teaching and sharing the things he knows.

Somehow both touch starved and touch averse. Contact must be initiated by him on his terms, or a shutdown will happen. But when someone he trusts does this, it's the funniest thing because he thinks he's being so subtle about his enjoyment of it. (Aven played w his hair once and Veritas passed tf out like that and Aven couldn't move for an hour.)

Chronic over-explainer. Either he misreads someone's tone and thinks they need the detail, or past conflict was caused by him thinking he didn't explain enough (it was usually just people being purposefully obtuse or daft.)

Unsurprisingly terrible to deal with when sick. Non-verbal, sits under a mountain of weighted blankets, and only communicates via the notes app on his phone or having Aventurine help him.

Ratio is terribly farsighted - just genetics. Lasic surgery fixed most of it, but he still needs reading glasses and contacts.

Intimacy issues alert. Vulnerability is scary and being put on a pedestal your whole life tends to make letting down pretenses a lil nauseating. Mortifying ordeal of being known and all that.

Girl Anachronism by the Dresden Dolls makes me think of him. I can't explain it. I think it's a combo of him being hella self aware of his issues but also just kinda treating them like something of a character flaw or moral failing rather than something he can ask for help with. Just a thought

AND THATS ITS IVE YAPPED ENOUGH ABOUT RATIO. The Aveenturine and Golden Ratio posts will come soon but for now have these. He makes me insane.

[shrimz08]

AANG ＆ OZAI PARALLELS: DEBUNKED

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because apparently the true villain is the sole survivor of a genocide of his entire nation, and not the imperialist colonizer.

Where do I even begin?? Because I’m genuinely holding in laughter writing this, it’s absolutely insane how certain people can make such egregious parallels that aren’t even found in the first place. 

AH, so a little backstory on how this fucking shit stained idea even came to existence, well our dear z^tara fans pissed their pants over Zuko and Katara not tying the knot, so, as a way of retribution for their supposed “honour” They take any chance to jump on the Aang hate train and make him into some irredeemable abusive demon, aaand they got that perfect opportunity because the LoK decided to take a lick out of the great “Main Characters Must Be Bad Parents In The Sequels” Trope. Which personally, does absolutely nothing to the protagonists resolution aside from cheap family drama but I digress. 

Now, I’m not behind the idea of the writers trying to make Aang a “flawed” Parent, I think it really makes no sense by how they went about it, (I might touch on this in another post) 

((And it’s so very clear that they’re trying to give it a soft “retcon” And even taking extra steps saying that Kya and Bumi just “remember wrong” Which I’ll actually take, because season two of LOK was hell on earth anyway so you might as well give it some saving grace.)) 

--------------------------------------------------------------

There’s three main parallels that they got from Ozai and Aang: (god help me)

Favouring a child

isolating the rest

leaving pressure On the golden child

I’m going to debunk all three of them while trying not to fall into complete lunacy over how ridiculous they are. 

Favouring a child + Leaving pressure: 

OK, so people are clearly blind with context clues and media comprehension, got it. No surprise whatsoever. I can’t be disappointed if I didn’t even have any expectations to begin with. 

Let’s compare the treatment on how Ozai treats Azula, and how Aang treats Tenzin. (Holy Shit)

Beginning with Ozai, well.. It doesn’t take much of a rocket scientist to understand that Ozai essentially could not give two fucks about Azula, as she in essence, serves the role of an attack dog, as long as it does its job, it’s worthy. 

Ozai favoured Azula because she was molded to match his ferocity and hunger for power, she was a prodigy bender, and was cunning and calculated, all traits that Ozai found endearing and someone worthy to be crowned the next “fire lord.” His “favouring” Of her didn’t come out of genuine love or care, she is his tool who serves a purpose. In short, she showed more competency and more ruthlessness and callousness in comparison to Zuko. Which earned her, her place as the “Golden Child.”  

-------

None of this is even remotely similar to how Aang treated Tenzin and his kids, aside from the fact he supposedly “favoured” Tenzin more, but that is such a baseline statement and has absolutely no relation with Ozai's reasons.

You have to understand that an entire FUCKING NATION IS DEAD. History, Culture, Tradition, is at the BRINK of being wiped out, Tenzin is quite literally the only Airbender that will be left after Aangs passing. Why do people devalue this concept so much? 

“B-BUT THE AIR ACOLYTES1!!” Still have limited knowledge, airbending is so heavily tied to its spiritual roots, you LOSE your ability to AIRBEND, if you aren't inclined to your spiritual side. Which is a core part of the air nomad culture. Tenzin is... Literally the only god forsaken part left of that, so yeah. It’s a pretty big fucking deal. Aang values his culture and teachings to such a high degree, he is literally the survivor of a genocide. His favouring of Tenzin was done out of necessity and love, not out of a need for power and a new attack dog to send orders around. 

Tenzin will literally be the future “Director” Or guide for the next avatar to learn airbending, people still forget this, and it’s hilarious. He needs to know all the moves, all the teachings because he will be the next avatar's personal guide. 

Aang constantly reassures him, and apologizes for the pressure that may be put upon him but he always reaffirms that he’ll be there to guide him and they’ll “learn together”

---------

So yeah not the same thing at all. Fuck you for being so inept at understanding the different reasons and perspectives of those situations, just for some petty ship discourse, genuinely disgusting.

Isolating the children:

OK this part, I have to say that the writers definitely messed up with aangs characterization, but I think the execution came out way differently than the intention, so I will try to look more into the intention of each decision.

Ozai isolated Zuko, mistreated him, belittled him, PHYSICALLY ABUSED HIM, but yeah totally on par with Aang actually. 

I don’t wanna touch on this part much mainly because his treatment was literally explained all throughout the show, and granted, while I understand most of these people haven’t touched the show aside from reading fanfic 300000 Where Aang is revealed to us as satan himself, but perhaps, even a small peak at Ozai's parenting would reveal the laughable contrast between the two.

Zuko was a slow learner, and much more of a softie, and a “mama's boy” To Ozai’s heavy dislike, he was thus treated as such, he was belittled, turned down, and literally burnt alive for showing “weakness” He is meant to serve as a direct contrast to Azula, ”The everything he isn't.” 

Kya and Bumi on the other hand, don’t show any actual signs of trauma aside from some petty jabs they threw at Tenzin, 

Bumis talk with Aang at the statue was *very very* Clearly, meant to highlight his own inferiority complex that he internalized growing up. His need for proving himself to be capable of doing just as much if not more than a “bender” Probably happened because his two parents were both prodigy benders and him being a first born son who was a non-bender must’ve hit pretty hard for him, and I’m so sure that katara and Aang reassured how special he is but that kind of thing doesn’t really go away.

------

------

Kya: [while healing Bumi] I told you those rocks were slippery. You're lucky you didn't kill yourself.

Bumi: You done with the lecture, mom?

Kya: Oh, grow up. You haven't changed one bit since we were kids. You're still trying to prove you can do everything a bender can. Well, you can't. Deal with it.

----------------------

 That talk with Aangs statue was very much meant to unveil an internal struggle rather than a conflict he had with his father. Kya even doubles down on this, telling him “of course he’d be proud of you” Basically spoon feeding to us, the viewers, that this is much more of internal than an external conflict that he has to overcome along the show. 

“Why Didn’t he share his culture with them 1!!1!” 

He most definitely did, or tried to, but it’s clear they didn’t show much interest so he didn’t pester, this is shown many times throughout the show. 

“You know I could never keep all those gurus straight… There were like a million of them!

remember that long boring story about the guy who never ate?”

This is literally Kya’s remark to Tenzin just after he tried teaching the airbender students this story, basically telling us that Aang DID try to tell them about his stories and culture, but much to their disinterest, didn’t try any further. 

And Bumi, literally could not pay attention to the story to save his life, and instead decided to fool around in his literal 60’s!! I mean Imagine what he was like when he was a kid!! 

I could imagine their dynamic was very similar to Jinora with Meelo and Ikki, Tenzin being the only one with actual interest and care, whilst Bumi and Kya goofing off and not putting much focus onto it. WHICH IS FINE BTW!! 

It only goes to reiterate that Tenzin was the only one who was actually giving interest and attention to the air nomad culture, and it was of Kya and Bumi’s own personal choice to not partake in it. To each their own I see. 

“BUT WHAT ABOUT THE VACATIONS” 

This.. I agree, weird for the writers to decide this, but given how they low-key are retconning it in interviews, my best guess is that each of those trips were side-quests during their journey to teach an important lesson that might’ve just drowned out because Tenzin may not have remembered it as well. 

Also keep in mind that Tenzin was put into a lot of pressure, Aang probably saw this, and as a way to still keep it enjoyable, he took him to trips that would help ease the mind for a little kid whilst also learning something valuable. That seems pretty on brand for Aang actually

And given that Kya and Bumi are literally in their fucking 60’s it wouldn’t surprised me if they didn’t have the greatest memory. Hell, they didn’t even fault Aang as a parent until Tenzin started boasting about “trips” That Kya and Bumi gave petty jabs but weren’t actually showing genuine hurt, just annoyance.

Kya even comments how Aang was too busy “Trying to save the world, and doing his duty that he didn't have much time for them” 

Phrasing as if it wasn't anything "important" But it's clear that this was Kya's own personal irritation towards Tenzin rather than an actual evaluation on Aang's duties.

A continuation comic best explains it in a deeper way:

----------

Literally showing that “neglecting” His kids wasn't up to him, and was out of a sense of necessity, trying to cram as much knowledge onto Tenzin, the only one who was basically putting his lessons into practices. Kya and Bumi were left feeling neglected. But that wasn’t out of his decision; he still loved them dearly.

-------

This. Literally highlighting how much pressure was forced upon Aang, so yes, as any person would, he struggled with making time for everybody. Holy shit who knew?? 

GASP!! IS THAT… A REALISTIC BUT UNDERSTANDABLE FLAW!!?? HOW DARE YOU! ITS OZAI #2 

The fact that the smiley energetic person forgets to SMILE, is a big deal, man was put through hells amount of stress but he never cracked.

So tell me, how is a genocidal freak, who treats his golden child like a tool and abuses the other both physically and emotionally for showing “weakness’ 

Even remotely comparable to

 the sole survivor of a genocide, trying to withhold his teachings and culture onto literally his only child that showed actual effort in doing so, while also maintaining the balance of an entire fucking world and being literally the biggest “advisor” And “Mentor” For society, OH! And also building and managing a literal city, but along the way struggling to make time for his children. 

Guess what, they’re not. And if you think they are. You are an idiot, with bias and headcanons.

So the conclusion is, Aang is a flawed parent, but he isn't a "bad" Parent - confirmed by the literal writers.

Comparing him to Ozai a literal dictator, is absolutely sickening, just for your petty shipping discourse when this show's been over for a decade is insane. Indulge in what you enjoy, but stop projecting delusions like they're canon.

:D

[austinsastrology8991]

Venus in the houses (p1) -> and how you convince others your a beautiful person until your not Venus is beautiful, and entrancing but she is also greedy and vain; believes she deserves what she wants. venus gets hurt if she doesnt get it, then finds someone else who will help her get it.... Venus in the First - Charming people, love to get attention and adoration from others and know how to get it through their beauty and flattery, but they expect twice the flattery from you because usually they are more charming than you, plus they know they a prize. but they are quick to be resentful when others take them for granted. beautiful people who break easily at slights > makes others fall even harder for their fragility Venus in the Second - strong values, good at self affirming themselves, and their pride/self respect swoons others. but if you question their 'code' they will literally ignore you, because they are very prideful with what they value. its what got them so far, and its usually what stole your heart in the first place. plus they valued you, and you questioned them, now they are questioning their values.... get it? you fucked everything up by making them question themselves Venus in the Third - confident players, that know how to make you sit down and listen to their every word. good with their words, until you point out a flaw, then its game over for you. so if you dont play their games they will find someone else to play with. but they know how to emulate their voice well too, can talk to you like your mother or like your duaghter... whataver your into they just want to play with your brain Venus in the Fourth - know exaclty how to make you comfortable, very sweet and mothering, but if you ask for too much, you will receive zero comfort, or maybe just one less thing. but they love to mother you, but if you dont respect your momma (them) they will either try harder to make you a mommas boy once again (they'll blame it on your mum first) or will withdraw completely and adopt a better son Venus in the fifth - love to entertain and be the centre of attention for the sake of applause. if you fall for them just know they like more than one set of eyes on them, but they only have eyes for one... so if you csn handle jealousy that will go a long way for them, because they will not stop shining for you or for anyone. its what they like okay.. you know what you signed up for so put up or shut up. plus thats what got you interested in the first place, their flair for the dramatix Venus in the sixth - love to be of service, help you with your life, be a mentor, and watch you grow as their little pet. but if you cross the line and take a shit on the carpet, they will not clean up your shit, becsuse now the role play is over and you crossed the line. and you thought they would help you because they helped you with everything else. TF IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU TOOK A SHIT ON DA CARPET?! DISOWNED Venus in the seventh - will do anything to please you. whatever it is you want they will become it and be the perfect partner for you. they dont have many requirements because they want you to stay so badly, but if you dont give them the basic necessities that they require. they will give you the coldest shoulder till you apologize. then love bomb you all over again. then expect you to have changed, when realistically you haven't, you had only apologized. then the cycle repeats itself for eternity.

[asksythe]

Hi! I was looking into some stuff and came across a post talking about WWX’s arrogance. It was about WWX’s character and how the fandom insists that his arrogance was one of his main flaws when that’s not true and so on. Then I saw some people saying that arrogance is not inherently bad in Chinese novels and that I might have to do with the way the novel was translated.

I was just wondering if you had some insight on this. Thanks!

On some level, it can be considered a translation issue. But the real reason why WWX's characters, as well as countless other details in MDZS specifically (and Chinese novels broadly speaking), tend to be misunderstood on such a massive scale is... cross-cultural value mismatch.

Consider this:

1/ There is a tendency in the international fanbase to judge WWX (and other characters) on a modern Western moral standard. I don't have to tell you how illogical this is. Imagine if you come into the world of Game of Thrones and start spouting 21st-century judgment. You are likely to become human shishkebabs in less than five minutes. Most people who watch Game of Thrones or read the book understand that's not something you do unless you are a moron or looking to start shit. But for some reason, this is not the case for the MDZS fandom (and many other Chinese media fandoms out there). I'm not sure why this is the case. It might be because of the cultural distance making people not really realize they are coming into an entirely different world, and then they forget to check their modern expectations at the door. Like how tourists become obnoxious when they come to a foreign country, expecting the foreign country to cater to their whims.

I've once seen someone made an addition on TV Tropes saying WWX is a mass murderer that never got punished for his crime. I... I don't know what to say to that really. My expectation is that the person who wrote that is someone under 30, never left America, and never served in the military. For somebody who has never had this kind of experience, no amount of words will explain to them that for major parts of the world and for the vast majority of mankind's history, you have to be able to kill to survive. In fact, for most of our history, killers are our heroes. War is a reality that we live in. The ones who survive are the ones who win wars, the really accomplished killers.

2/ MDZS was not written for an international audience. That is to say, it's written with the expectation that it doesn't have to explain its intricacies and tropes to its intended readers. Because its readers already know. MDZS is xianxia danmei. Danmei has only had about 2 decades of modern history. But xianxia as a genre has stretched back millennia. Its tropes are very set. Chinese (and Sinosphere) readers don't need an explanation because we grow up consuming this kind of stories.

We don't need to be told in plain words to know WWX's only crime is to be possession of the Yin Tiger Tally, and the Jin's scheme is the real reason behind his tragedy. Because it's such a standard trope in our culture that there are millennia-old proverbs about it.

匹夫无罪，怀璧其罪 - pǐ fū wú zuì，huái bì qí zuì. Lit. The commoner is innocent, but his possession of treasure is a sin.

We don't need to be told that it doesn't matter if WWX goes along with the cultivation world's ceaseless demands (keep Suibian with him, consult more with Jiang Cheng before he does things) to know that none of that matters. Because none of those are actual rules, just trivial bullshit made up and used to socially isolate WWX and manipulate the public opinion against him. WWX's true crime is that he is alone. He is an orphan. No one will stand up for him. And unlike his big mouth, he's a real softie. Because if he wasn't then all of them would be dead ten times over with the kind of martial power WWX possess. Only WWX's good heart holds him back from really using his ability. Therefore, you can spit on him, you can cut him, you can trample on him without fearing retaliations.

Nie Mingjue has no sword. Ain't nobody try to lip him about it. Yu Furen has no sword. She uses a whip. Ain't nobody lip her about it.

WWX's undead cultivation is also not really the problem. That kind of cultivation is vanilla as girl scout's cookies. It's only made out that way because it's a method of cultivation that is very easy to learn and does not require enormous resources (i.e. caste issue, not class, caste) to cultivate. Which means it's a method that can be practiced far and wide by poor commoners. Which means it's an infringement on the cultivator House's power and financial base. That's its real crime. Not all that justice bullshit.

For many international fans out there, MDZS is their introduction to danmei (and xianxia). So they come in not knowing these things. They don't see the caste issues, the tragedy, the difference of philosophies and choices between WWX and JC. Their conclusion is built on ignorance and misunderstanding.

It doesn't help that most know little to nothing about Chinese culture which is a high-context culture, the polar opposite of most Western cultures (low-context culture). Something that may seem small and insignificant for a Western reader base can be a really big deal for the Chinese reader base, because it's inbuilt in five thousand years of history and culture. Like why Jin Guangyao buried his mother's corpse in the Guanyin temple and why he needed to reclaim it and take it with him when he tried to flee to Japan.

So it's no surprise there is such a massive divide in fandom opinion.

[jjs-brainrot]

And finished Girls band Cry.

Is it the best band anime of all time? Yes. Is it up there with stuff from Studio Orange as one of the best 3DCG anime? Yes. Is it absolutely my contender for anime of the season? Hell yes!

It's honestly been a long time since I've seen a completely original series just keep up such a consistently high production value and writing quality through out its run time. Like what ever you choose for the "weakest" episode would still basically be the highlight episode in any other anime.

The CGI genuinely might be some of the most expressive and fluid I've seen in a 3DCG anime. Like not even just in terms of framerate or character movement, I mean every scene each character has so much detailed and intricate facial and body language going on at every moment. It doesn't translate well into screenshots but it genuinely feels like you can just get how a character is feeling and what their personality is like in any given scene based purely on body language a lone which is incredibly impressive.

Writing-wise, it's hit after hit after hit. While some episodes are higher then others, there's never a moment where the series isn't doing everything in it's power to hit the emotional beats it's wanting to hit. The writing also just fully commits to feeling just really well grounded? Like nothing feels too out of left field or unearned and it just feels like a pretty natural story about a band coming together to try to make it in the modern music scene.

The entirety of the main cast is just fantastic.

Nina is easily going up there as one of my all time favorite protags. She's brash, goofy, has a sense of justice she never strays from even when it actively does her harm, she's angry af and she genuinely acts like how a teenager who's been though some shit would act. She's a flawed person (an outright hypocrite at times even) but that's what makes her such a relatable character.

Momoka comes across as a hot headed but confident rocker girl, but the reality is she's a bit of a coward. She sees herself as a complete failure and the only reason she hasn't already run away is the angry little hedgehog girl, whom she sees so much of her younger self in (even if a lot of that might be projection), keeps stopping her at every turn.

Subaru: the actress, the liar, the goofball, the hedgehog wrestler. So much of her personality is being as blatantly fake as fuck as she can every scene before someone calls her out on it. And so much of her fakeness just crumbles anytime she has to deal with her bandmate's antics (Nina especially) to the point that she can just be herself around them. She also has the funnest facial expressions and body language. She just has to be extra in every scene she's in.

Tomo and Rupa did feel like they got a little bit shafted in the series if I'm honest. A lot of that is because they really didn't get to get much screen time until the half way point though the fact that the series is much more focused on Nina and Momoka's storyline so the other three got less focus. Tomo tended to act like the band's straight man but she def got her own goofy moments. Rupa is the friend mom of the band. She does have the most depressing backstory but she always has to keep the mood lively (especially if there's beer involved).

The Music in GBC is absolutely fantastic. If Bocchi the Rock! is an homage to the current J-Rock scene, referencing bands like Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Tricot and 88Kasyo Junrei, Girls Band Cry is much more focused on paying homages to J-Rock from the 90s and 2000s, referencing bands like Yura Yura Teikoku, Gingnangboyz, Spitz and Eastern Youth.

Togenashi Togeari themselves might be my all time favorite J-Rock band now. Their music just absolutely hits and I just can't stop obsessing over them. What's particularly wild is that the VAs/musicians comprising Togenashi Togeari are all first time VAs who were all hired through an audition process that was specifically looking for women who never sung in public, played in a band, or played rock before. The series is just that committed to being grounded that it forms a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band to play a band of nobody's who didn't know about each other before becoming a band.

So anyways, I've rambling for far too long. Girls band Cry is amazing, you should all watch it in whatever way you can and then listen to all of TogeToge's songs on endless repeat like me.

[hood-ex]

Your post about that dialogue from Gotham Knights (the game) made me think back on how much I miss Bruce and Dick's relationship tbh. Like obv it was never the healthiest thing ever, and Bruce was always emotionally constipated, but it always felt a little more... equal? Recently it's just felt so toxic, like Bruce will be an asshole, and Dick will be hurt by it but will still come back to him and will remove the burden of Bruce apologizing for anything from him. Like the scene between them in Nightwing 100, where Bruce is rightfully apologizing for his crap and Dick says he doesn't have to. I do like that scene (even if it was over the top), but that's not right. Like, no sir, he has a lot to apologize for lmao. But that's literally been their dynamic for so long. Whenever Bruce should be called out, Dick just forgives him and Bruce goes back to doing the same old shit again, and Dick forgives him again, and rinse and repeat.

Honestly, it feels like whoever wrote those scenes took a look at that one meme of Batman slapping Robin and said "hey, they like that, let's do that!" Like, you can't go a long time without Bruce hitting Dick. Because they think fans eat that shit up ig. They are so attached to their shock value Bruce and Dick fights and their image of brooding Bruce that they won't address their fucked-up relationship and won't change the status quo. We have gotten many scenes of them being great together and having sweet moments, but those all feel tainted by the rest of it. It's as recent as the amnesia arc where Bruce re-traumatized Dick and then didn't help him when he was living in his car and then pretty much emotionally manipulated him to become Nightwing again. Recent comics really have forgotten what Batman is about.

And it sucks, because Dick is my fave of all faves, but I also love the hell out of Bruce Wayne, and it's so sad to see him be reduced to this... only brooding, borderline abusive asshole. They won't let him grow or develop. I don't mind conflict, and I like that they have a complicated relationship. I didn't even mind Bruce punching Dick, because it's interesting. Once was fine, twice was fine, the same thing happening all the time without addressing it and with no change across years is kind of a problem. I'm only keeping up with the Nightwing run out of loyalty to my boy, but from what I've heard of the events that are happening outside of that, it seems that they are having issues again, and I'm waiting for the next Batman issue that features Nightwing to also feature another punch or something. It's always Bruce being coddled by the story and never being asked to make the step forward, it's always Dick that has to give in and make Bruce feels better about his flaws and free him of any responsibility for his actions even when it's time for Bruce to step up and grow up.

It's why I prefer the animated adaptations or the retellings. I think world's finest did a good job with their relationship, I feel like Robin: Year 1 from back in the day did too, and Young Justice animated for its many flaws has a solid dynamic between them. They still have a complicated relationship, but it isn't so dramatically awful. It allows for a more balanced and well-rounded portrayal of the character when you aren't pandering to some people by flanderizing the character ig. Anyway, sorry for ranting, you're like my fave Dick Grayson blog so I just wanted to share. Hope this wasn't a bother.

No yeah I hated that aspect of Nightwing #100. If TT wanted to do a scene like that, he should’ve built up a conflict between Dick and Bruce to give us some context as to some type of thing Bruce actually needed to apologize for. Then he could’ve had Bruce apologize, Dick accept the apology, and end it with that reconciliation.

Instead, he just had Bruce apologize like, “I’m sorry I failed you, I’m sorry I pushed you away, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I wasn’t proud of you,” which would’ve hit much harder if, again, they had shown some kind of recent conflict between Bruce and Dick to warrant that sudden apology. And for Dick to then express his own hurt and such over said conflict. And then for them to come to some reconciliation. But yeah it’s very unsatisfying for Bruce to just list things he’s sorry for, and for Dick to hug him and just reassure Bruce. Like nooo let Bruce feel bad. Let Dick feel bad because of what Bruce did to him. Let Dick be angry. Let them both hurt. Then let them heal.

As for the amnesia arc, I feel like they really did a disservice to Bruce by not focusing enough on his trauma from the sniper incident. If they really stressed how much it traumatized him and then showed how his actions were effected by that (like giving him a dire need to have Dick return to normal bc otherwise it’s like Dick just died in his arms on that rooftop) then that is much more sad and compelling, and we can at least kind of see where Bruce is coming from by showing Dick the sniper video (though it would’ve been better if they just… hadn’t done that all).

If I had been writing that issue, I would’ve had it from Bruce’s POV where he would’ve constantly been in a state of flashbacks. Like seeing his parents getting killed and then comparing it to Dick getting shot. And then having flashbacks of Dick when he was younger but then Bruce imagining that Dick keeps getting shot in the head in each of those memories. And all of that literally just like… pushing Bruce over the edge. And then of course when Dick wakes up and asks Bruce “Who are you?” Bruce spirals even further. And we see his descent to this very isolated and dark place where he just wants his son back at all costs. That would’ve been waaaaay more interesting. Extremely dark ofc. But interesting.

Yeah the comic Dick and Bruce relationship can definitely be toxic (and I’m not totally opposed to that bc I think it makes things interesting between them), and there are animated shows that show them in a more balanced light. The Batman (2004) is one of those shows as well. Dick was Robin then ofc, and Bruce wasn’t so dark at that point in life. But when you watch shows like that, it reminds you of the character Bruce is supposed to be, and it reminds you of what you like the most about him. So definitely nice to watch shows like that sometimes to remind yourself of the Bruce Wayne that exists outside of modern comics.

[reddbuster]

Ace attorney is about a lot of things. It's got themes of corruption, about family, betrayal, and revenge. And we see these things in every case in the trilogy. Even in the most hated cases like turnabout big top, we see these themes displayed very plainly (if not particularly well). We see how, no matter how good you think you are, no matter how perfect you try to be, bad circumstances can can turn your world completely on its head. We see how this stuff can affect a family for generations. And nowhere is this seen more clearly than in the Fey family. The Feys are at the centre of everything in the trilogy. Every major character is deeply and messily involved with them, whether they know it or not. And really, they're more than a family. The Feys and the Kurain Channeling Technique are an institution that, like the courts, have a bloody history full of corruption. If Ace Attorney in the broader scale of things is about the flawed nature of the justice system, the Fey family is almost like a microcosm of that. They're both a generally shitty family and an example of a long standing establishment whose flaws have gone unchecked. Which is why the Fey women themselves are to me the culmination of everything the trilogy is about.

The Kurain Channeling Technique has a long and prestigious history across multiple countries. Pre DL-6 the Feys were all highly respected and had a lot of influence through all of their their political and legal connections. It's made pretty clear that this legacy is...REALLY important to those living in Kurain village. Like, more important than their children. Which is why said children were raised to believe that their value is dependent on their power, because raising powerful heirs is what keeps the clan's reputation alive. And then THOSE children will go on to do the same thing to their children, and etc. etc.

A prime example of this is Morgan Fey and her relationship with Misty. The title of master of Kurain is supposed to go to the elder sibling. Morgan must've dreamed of inheriting that title for SO long. In a world where you're always fighting to prove that you matter, the title of Master means security. It means you've solidified your title as the one who matters the most. So when the village went against tradition to give that title to Misty it would have stung so bad. And Misty probably felt kinda shit about it too. Because now not only does she have the weight of the entire Fey Legacy on her shoulders but the literal value of her sister's life. Because if Misty, the one that was so much better than her sister that the uber-traditional Kurain decided to ignore tradition, can't do a good job as the master, than what does that make Morgan? Their relationship, probably the only semi-healthy relationship the 2 of them had, disintegrates, and the both of them are alone. So, when Misty is called to investigate DL-6 and disgraces the Fey name, of course she leaves. She has destroyed the only thing in the world that gave her worth. She took what little reputation Morgan had left and kicked it deeper into the mud until it was funny submerged. Her whole life she's been nothing but a curse to those around her. There's nothing left to do but run away.

[ofthecaravel]

Heaven In Time

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3: Bleeding Hearts, Angel Voices

Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka

Summary: The last supper. Or is it?

Tags: Religious trauma, hella guilt tripping/mentions of religious upbringing, internalized homophobia, sliiiiiight slut shaming, sibling fighting, slight sauciness

Words: 10k

A/N: As promised, here's the playlist, as well as the last chapter of this little series. Thank you all so much for being so sweet about it and I'm so happy you liked it!! Tell me all your thoughts!!! OH also, I'm aware that only Catholic priests really wear clerical collars, but I decided to include it because Josh is dramatic and would think it looks cute. Okay enjoy

~~

“This is it?”

“Yup.”

“Wow. Somewhere along the way you failed to mention that it’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“It’s practically sinking into the lake, Dan.”

Already crabby, Sam really wanted to be able to trash the house looming in front of them. But for all its ghosts and lonely corners, Sam couldn’t write off the fact that his childhood home (and Jake’s new permanent place of residence, apparently) was and had always been a sight to behold. It wasn’t particularly flashy with its modest white paneling having been frayed by weather and stained with mildew, and it certainly wasn’t modern by any means. However, with the silver maples conspiring around it and a lakeside view from the bottom of the hill it rested on, the house with all its flaws and farmhouse style charm was enough to make Danny’s eyes widen. 

“I didn’t know my parents had moved,” Sam noted softly, heart racing as he observed his brothers’ cars in the driveway and wondered where his dad’s station wagon was parked now. 

“I’m sure Jake will fill you in on everything,” Danny assured Sam as he parked next to Jake’s crappy Volvo. He cut the engine and studied Sam’s apprehensive expression out of the corner of his eye, selfishly hoping that Sam would call the whole thing off and they could drive off towards the loving embrace of Danny’s own childhood home just beyond the state border. He knew his parents and sister would absolutely adore Sam, but he wasn’t sure that Sam’s brothers would welcome him as readily.

“Okay,” Sam blurted, smacking his hands against his thighs and letting out a fast exhale. “Quick overview before we go in.”

“Right,” Danny nodded. Honestly, he could use a refresher. It was always a struggle to get Sam to talk about his family like this.

“Josh is the oldest,” Sam started, beginning his list of points by marking them on his fingers. “Technically. He’s older than Jake by, like, I don’t remember, a couple of minutes. Super friendly, loud as fuck, took up my dad’s pastoral duties after he got deep into the televangelist bullshit that I’m sure he’s still doing now. He was a natural, of course, given that there’s nothing he loves more than the sound of his own voice.”

“Harsh.”

“Dude, trust me. You’ll get what I mean. Anyways, you’ve met Jake. Sort of. He’s very…passionate, which you’ve seen. Kind of hot headed, very one track minded. He basically runs the whole ministry from the shadows, even when Dad was still pastor. Josh gives the go ahead, but Jake’s the organizer. He’s busy 24/7 and has been since they were, like, 12.”

“Doesn’t sound very sustainable,” Danny commented. Sam let out a laugh and shook his head.

“It is not,” Sam agreed bitterly. “But he likes barking orders and playing puppet master, so I guess it works for him. And, I mean, school and youth group pretty much taught us that there was no other way for us to live other than doing church shit all day every day, so I can’t say I’m surprised he turned out this way.”

“Pretty relentless, huh?”

“Yup. Especially when your dad’s running aforementioned church and giving you shit for doing anything, I don’t know, childlike? Or for just enjoying stuff?”

“Definitely explains why Jake was such a dick about your cute ‘fit,” Danny said. “Those values trickle down if you let them, I guess. I still don’t think you had to change, by the way.”

“I definitely did,” Sam muttered, looking down at the plain jeans he’d pulled from his suitcase and the thin flannel he’d buttoned over his chest after their backseat tryst. “Josh would’ve lost his shit. No way he’d go full ‘Ooh, look at me, I’m a man of God and that means I get to preach with corporal punishment’ route, but he’d sure as hell think about it if I showed up in those shorts.”

“Baby,” Danny lamented, heart sinking as he watched Sam fiddle with a button while wearing a sullen expression. “We don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” Sam insisted, reaching for Danny’s hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “For, you know, closure.”

“Okay,” Danny relented, still hesitant but trusting in Sam to know when enough is enough.

“Okay,” Sam echoed. “Okay. Okay, let’s do this.”

Sam pulled Danny in for a quick kiss of courage, bounced once in his seat, let out a nervous sound and then threw open the door and climbed out. Danny chuckled and got out, locking up the truck and watching with adoration as Sam shuffled towards the peeling front steps. 

-

“One second!”

The voice came booming through the rattling front door after Sam had given it a timid knock to the beat of three. Almost instantly, Sam’s nerves flared with electrifying panic and he spun to face Danny.

“Actually,” Sam declared in a rushed, reedy tone. “Fuck this, let’s go.”

���What?”

Before Sam could drag Danny down the stairs and bail harder than anyone has ever bailed before, the door swung open with a melodramatic bang and then there was Josh. Danny could immediately see the startling resemblance between him and Jake, but there was something particularly unique about Josh that immediately set him apart. Danny assessed his tidy curls and the clerical collar nestled snugly at the base of his neck and knew it must be these physical differences, but he stood there puzzling nonetheless. Josh’s face was lit up with a plasticine cheer that seemed to be his resting expression, but at the sight of his deserter younger brother turning to him like a deer in the headlights, his face morphed into uncharacteristic shock. Once again, Danny stood in awkward silence as the useless mediator. This time around he had the good sense to step to the side before the situation devolved.

“Oh,” Josh said simply, his graceful hands rising to cup at the sides of Sam’s face with practiced theatrics. “Oh, praise be to God. Sammy. You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Sam repeated, already faltering under Josh’s fiery gaze. “Hi.”

“I can’t believe it,” Josh breathed, tears glittering in his eyes as he shook his head with wonder. “I just can’t even believe it’s really you. It is, right? Or are you some agent of the Lord sent to test my faith in His protection of you?”

“Pretty sure He’s not worried about your faith, Josh,” Sam muttered, grasping Josh’s wrists and lowering them. “I’ve been protected just fine. It’s me, I swear.”

“Thank God,” Josh blubbered, throwing his arms around Sam and pulling him into a crushing hug. Despite it all, Sam accepted it gratefully, crossing his arms behind Josh’s back and holding him just as hard. This was the reunion he’d been dreading the most, but his shame was temporarily assuaged in the comfort of his brother’s embrace.

Danny kept his silence as they hugged, but eventually Josh caught his eye and appeared to register that there was someone on the porch other than Sam for the first time.

“I’m sorry, I’m being rude,” Josh began after he let Sam go, wiping a tear with the heel of his palm and presenting his other hand to Danny. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“Danny,” Danny introduced himself, giving Josh a firm handshake and smiling nervously. Even though so few words had been exchanged, Danny had to admit that it was enough to feel that Josh’s presence could quickly become overwhelming.

“Daniel,” Josh grinned, pleased. “I assure you our home tonight will be no den of lions.”

“Of course,” Danny smiled, completely disbelieving of Josh’s sentiment. “Pretty sure that was revealed to me in one of my many visions. …That is what Daniel did in the Bible, right?”

Josh’s laugh erupted out of his chest and he clapped Danny on the arm with an approving grip. Sam shared a look of surprised amusement with Danny, whose shoulders flickered with a shrug as Josh came down from his laughing fit.

“Good man,” Josh wheezed. “Ah, that’s funny. Am I right in assuming you’re Sammy’s companion in the travels I’m sure he’s had? The travels I simply cannot wait to hear about?”

“Correct.”

“I’m happy to hear it,” Josh beamed, flashing his wide smile back on Sam. “I knew this would happen, you know. That He’d send you a guardian angel to watch over you. I prayed for it.”

“I’m truly blessed,” Sam agreed, giving Danny a private, bashful smile while Josh became temporarily distracted by propping open the door.

“That you are,” Josh professed, gesturing into the house as he crossed the threshold again. “All of us are, really. Now I don’t want to keep you waiting on this drafty old porch, please, come in, come in.”

Josh went in first, flying ahead of Danny and Sam as the door closed behind them and the house swallowed them whole. 

“Here we go,” Sam whispered, nearly inaudible. Josh guided them, humming and singing under his breath as he reached to graze his fingers against the walls of the hallway lined with crosses of all sizes and finish.

“It’s going good so far,” Danny whispered back. “He likes me.”

“Wait ‘til he finds out what kind of guardian angel you are,” Sam murmured. Danny flushed and snaked his arm behind Sam and gave him a pinch on his side, only inches away from the situationally appropriate angel wings messily inked on Sam’s lower back. 

Sam bit back a muffled squeak and smacked Danny in the arm. He was ready to send another flirty whisper his way, but when they emerged in the kitchen, Sam froze up once again at the sight of Jake stationed at the stove. Jake’s hair had been relieved of its outdated ponytail and skirted over his shoulders in messy waves, swaying with motion as he tended to a pan.

“When you said surprise guests, I was certainly not expecting a surprise like this!” Josh cried, shaking Jake by the shoulder. “You drive me nuts.”

“You drive me nuts, it seemed only fair,” Jake smiled. “I’m surprised you saw me come home acting the way I was and didn’t immediately know Sam had something to do with it.”

Sam let out an offended little exhale from his nose and Jake finally regarded him and Danny, renewed tension stretching between them all as he gave them a curt, impersonal nod.

“You really came,” Jake noted plainly, gaze lingering on Sam before turning back to the stovetop, pushing sizzling green tomatoes around the skillet.

“You invited us,” Sam reminded him, cautiously approaching and watching him work. “Enthusiastically, actually. Is this Grandma’s recipe?”

“Yup,” Jake answered flatly, still refusing eye contact as the oil snapped and leaped when he flipped the tomatoes.

“It smells divine,” Danny piped up. Jake gave him a side eye that Danny honored with a nervous, polite smile, but Jake ultimately shut him down with empty air. 

“It’s all divine in this house,” Josh followed up dreamily. 

“Well, hopefully it doesn’t taste like ‘disappointment’,” Jake muttered pettily, bringing up Sam’s words from the gas station. Sam sighed and took a step back from Jake, who filled his space by moving from the pan to open the oven, poking noisily at a covered tray. 

“Come on, Jake,” Sam groaned. “We come in peace. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

“And I don’t want this catfish to char,” Jake countered. “Scoot.”

“I’ve scooted, thanks,” Sam frowned, taking another step back. “Why are you acting like we’re showing up uninvited? You literally asked us to come.”

“Hey, what has gotten into you two?” Josh interjected, finally absorbing his twin’s clipped tone. “We should be celebrating. And we have company, so if you could save us all the trouble of picking apart your rude semantics, that would be lovely. I mean, honestly.”

Jake let out a huff and continued working to pull dinner together, plunging the kitchen into icy silence as Sam sneered at the floor to prevent any tears from creeping up on him. Danny wanted nothing more than to hoist him up and carry him out of the house, but he watched helplessly as Josh came over to Sam and gently pulled him out of the room.  

“You two can hash it out later, okay?” Josh whispered, and Sam nodded as they crossed the threshold into the wood paneled dining room. The dining table was set with four crisp placemats, all of them centered in the middle of the table under the flowering hands of the chandelier. It was odd for Sam to see, considering he’d never known the table to be set without a placemat at the head of the table for his father. 

“Sorry,” Sam apologized, falling into old habits. “We ran into Jake at a gas station and it ended…weird. You know he can be kind of-”

“Snippy?” Josh finished for him, pulling out a bundle of cutlery from a drawer. “Righteous? Yes, he can be. Lord knows I know. He’s working on it. Been working on a lot since you left, actually. Some days I swear he out prays me.”

“When did Mom and Dad move?” Sam asked, changing the conversation while robotically accepting and laying down silverware as Josh handed it to him.

“Two months ago,” Josh replied nonchalantly. “Turns out Dad’s broadcast made its way to Nebraska and amassed a following there, so they picked up to be closer to his flock.”

“Nebraska?” Sam exclaimed, nearly dropping the bundle of forks in his hand. He swallowed the revelation with a shiver of relief and an equally strong wave of grief, no doubt felt by the lonely little boy he carried inside him. Sam realized with blank shock that there was a very good chance he would never see his parents again.

“So, what, they just up and left?”

“Yeah…”

“For Nebraska?”

 Danny walked in then, unable to withstand Jake’s angry clanging for another minute.

“What’s in Nebraska?” Danny asked innocently. 

“Our parents,” Josh explained with a weak smile. “I trust Sam’s told you about our Dad’s post preaching venture?”

“A little,” Danny lied. He’d heard plenty about what the Kiszka patriarch had been up to since retiring and passing on the torch of preacher to his oldest son: good ol’ American televangelism, complete with the incensed ramblings and an addiction to being on screen. From what he heard from Sam, this came at the cost of quality time with his family. Sam had assured him the blow was softened significantly considering they’d all been fruitlessly clamoring for his affection for their entire lives and were long accustomed to the scraps they’d been dealt.  

“I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised,” Sam laughed flatly, shooting Josh a knowing look. “Lord knows Dad has the means to afford it.”

“Oh, here we go. I don’t want to hear your conspiracy theories, Sammy,” Josh replied sternly. “I have faith that every drop of his viewer’s donations go right to the Convention.”

“Right,” Sam muttered. “Just like the college fund did.”

Josh stiffened, bright eyes suddenly cast in shadow as he set a glass down on the table. Danny’s eyebrows silently rose in curiosity. He’d never heard mention of college.

“Always the firecracker, Sammy,” Josh said with a brusque laugh, recovering with shocking speed and slipping his cheerful mask back on with ease. Sam rolled his eyes and carried on doling out glasses and napkins, but Danny found Josh’s abrupt mirth disturbing and studied him from where he leaned in the doorway. Danny had felt quite certain in his assessment of Jake when they’d met, but with Josh, he couldn’t quite pin what it was about him that kept Danny’s attention.

-

Dinner had gone off without a hitch, much to the surprise of everyone at the table. There was a bit of a rough start when a chilly direction from Jake had Danny positioned at the seat farthest from Sam, one that also conveniently faced the portrait of Jesus on the wall. But after they’d all sat down, Josh had led them in a tearful round of grace praising Sam’s safe return and then insisted on hearing every single detail of their cross country journey. Knowing that “every single detail” would send both his siblings into cardiac arrest, Sam had regaled them with only the most entertaining stories. Danny felt his heart swelling in his chest watching Sam settle into his natural element, rolling his wrists in the air and grinning like a madman as he detailed engine mishaps and eccentric motel squatters. The biggest surprise of all was Jake slowly warming up as the conversation rolled along, never contributing more than a few words at a time but eventually offering up the smallest of smiles and persistent eye contact as his little brother rambled away.

“I just can’t believe it,” Josh noted brightly at the tail end of one of Sam’s stories. “You’re so bold now, Sams. I remember when you were such a little scaredy cat too scared to get the communion wafers from the back room by yourself. Now you’re out there roughing the wilderness and pushing cows off the road.”

“Trying to push cows off the road,” Daniel corrected with a smile, remembering how hard he’d laughed watching Sam push with all his might against a cow where its herd had blocked the road somewhere in Texas. “Emphasis on trying.”

“I pushed that big one with the brown spot!” Sam argued. “You saw! He went running!”

“He felt bad for you, Sammy.”

Jake let out a snort that set them all off into their own fits of laughter, save for Sam who open mouth scoffed and mouthed threats to Danny across the table. Despite his faint indignation at Danny poking fun at him, Sam felt a great rush at the light hearted mood that had settled over the room. For a split second, he thought of a world where they could eat dinner like this on a regular basis, but he held himself back from indulging in that hope and laid it to rest in a far corner of his mind as quickly as it had risen.

Sam found it to be a wise choice when the laughter died down and Josh, completely unknowingly, killed the mood.

“Is it a hassle to find churches near motels?” Josh asked with sincere interest. “Or is it nice to settle for one day a week when you’re always driving around all willy-nilly?”

Jake let out another snort and Sam and Danny made awkward eye contact across the table.

“They don’t go to church, Josh,” Jake answered for his brother. Josh blinked and Sam bowed his head, suddenly very interested in tearing at the seedy heart of the tomato at the end of his fork.

“I suppose we can be few and far between,” Josh nodded. “I don’t think it’d hurt to peek in on a general Christian service, though. It’d do the job if the Baptist radio stations don’t reach wherever you end up.”

“They don’t want to go to church, Josh,” Jake continued. Sam kicked him under the table and Jake shot him a snotty look, raising his eyebrows haughtily as Josh turned to Sam.

“Is that true?” Josh asked, sounding a little hurt. 

“Did nobody here read the note I left?” Sam mumbled childishly, keeping his eyes down as Josh sputtered and looked between him and Danny. Danny couldn’t muster anything more than an embarrassed cough, also looking down but keeping his eyes firmly glued to Sam.

“I did, about a thousand times,” Josh insisted, shifting his entire chair to face Sam. “But I figured you’d, you know…well, maybe I don’t know.”

“I bet there’s a lot we don’t know,” Jake added, kicking back when Sam kicked him again. 

“What are you, 12? Stop it,” Josh snapped, adding his own kicking leg to the fray. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You should’ve seen what he was wearing when I saw him,” Jake said conspiratorially.

“Jake, shut up!” Sam hissed. “You’re so fucking prissy.”

“Woah, language!” Josh scolded, throwing his hands up. “Everybody take a brea-”

“He was practically naked. From where I was, I actually thought he was a girl.”

“Okay, Jake, give it a rest,” Danny snapped, anger finally giving him the courage to speak up.

“I’ll “give it a rest” when you stop necking my brother in broad daylight, how about that, Florida?” Jake snarled, tossing his fork on the table with a furious clatter and crossing his arms. Danny’s mouth clamped shut at the same time Josh’s fell open. Sam let out a strained howl, staring daggers through his brother’s skull as Jake sent them right back.

“God, Jake, you’re so, so,” Sam stammered, insults piling in his mouth. “You’re so fucking jealous!”

Jake didn’t reply, but his eyes fluttered from the sting of Sam’s words. Sam had hit a nerve with sharp precision and they both knew it.

“What on God’s green earth is Jake talking about?” Josh asked, eyes glued to Danny where he wilted in his chair. Danny drew in a breath like he was about to answer, but they all found that the silence he gave instead was just as clear as if he’d spoken. 

“Sam?” Josh asked, a little desperate. For some reason, he didn’t sound as deeply disappointed as Sam had imagined, and certainly not as mad as he’d feared. 

“I hate you,” Sam whispered across the table to Jake, ignoring his other brother searching his face for something he’d missed entirely. “I said I didn’t want to fight.”

“Are we fighting, or am I just saying things that are objectively true?” Jake countered with eerie calm. “You don’t go to church. You dress like a girl. You’re screwing a total stranger. Anything else you’d like to add? Is he paying you, perhaps?”

Sam’s chair scraped loudly as he got to his feet and sent it banging against the wall. He crumpled up his napkin and threw it in Jake’s face before storming out of the dining room, leaving behind another frustrated cry that was cut off by the metallic clang of the front door. Josh turned to Jake with his own expression of genuine anger. 

“Do you want him to leave again?” Josh growled, glaring him down before casting his eyes on Danny. “Daniel, I am so sorry. Please, forgive us.”

Jake’s face grew cloudy and sullen at Josh’s fury, clueing Danny into whose opinion he must value most in this world. He sank further in his chair when Josh breezed past him and followed Sam’s warpath out of the home, leaving Jake and Danny to sit side by side in their private rages after the door had slammed for a second time.

-

They sat there for a very long time. Danny wanted to run to Sam (he was always running to Sam, and he thought maybe he always had been) but knew that Sam needed Josh more than him. As much as he was not enjoying this trend of being left alone with Jake, he sat with the storm cloud beside him and did his best to steal glances and collect information without Jake’s knowledge. When they’d first encountered him, Jake had seemed so eager to fly Sam back home to the nest. He’d seemed almost understanding, or as understanding as someone like him could be, but it’d spun out within seconds. Danny was trying to figure out the exact moment that had turned him into a cold shouldered teenager so desperate to cut Sam down. 

 When slyly sliding his eyes to try and gauge Jake’s expression, Danny startled slightly to find that Jake’s focus had shifted from the wall to him. When he followed the low trajectory of his tired gaze, Danny saw that Jake was staring at…Danny’s scuffed cowboy boots. From the looks of it, he was tracing the stitchings in the brown leather. Lost in a daydream, maybe? Danny considered with a note of private amusement that Jake might be looking at his boots and tucking himself into a fantasy of cowboys and fast horses. Maybe that was something he and Danny both did; escaping into an idealized reality when the one at hand was too much. 

Then, with a jolt, it clicked. The way Jake had grown cruel when Sam had defended his new look and new life, no doubt shattering Jake’s pre established perception of his baby brother. Inviting him to dinner and cooking what Danny knew were some of Sam’s favorite foods, only to spoil it all with appetite stealing jabs. How he had shrank under Josh’s disappointment. How he sat now, staring at Danny’s boots like he wished they were his. 

Like he wished he could run.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” Danny blurted. Jake jerked at the sudden sound and regarded Danny with wide, confused eyes. He blinked once before his face crumpled, perplexed.

“For what?” Jake asked, all bite gone from his voice. He sounded almost friendly. He sounded a little like Sam, actually. Danny used that familiarity to gather his confidence.

“I’m sorry Sam didn’t invite you to go with him. That must’ve really hurt.”

Jake’s expression held its dumbfounded composure but Danny could see the emotion shift from confusion to something akin to being completely crushed. He barely blinked and Danny watched his eyes fill with tears.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jake hissed, his voice wobbling slightly as his lip curled in feigned disgust. “You two are going to die out there, one way or another.”

“You must be a masochist, then,” Danny accused, continuing to find his nerve. “Because I’m willing to bet that Sam wasn’t too far off when he said you were jealous. I’m really not trying to be rude, I’m just trying to understand.”

“Understand what? Why I hate your guts?”

“You don’t hate my guts, Jake. And I sure as shit don’t hate yours.”

“Could’ve fooled me. You didn’t even give me a chance.”

Ah. There was another puzzle piece clicking in place for Danny.

“That’s another thing I’m sorry about,” Danny said honestly. “I shouldn’t have shut you down like that. It’s just - and this isn’t an excuse, it’s just an explanation- it’s just that I’ve spent the past year trying to get Sam as far away from what he was running from. And, well, you’re a part of all that in one way or another. But I should’ve understood your circumstances the same way I do Sam.”

Jake was quiet for another beat, swallowing and sniffling before letting out a sigh.

“I guess I shouldn’t have shut you down like that either,” Jake admitted. “And I guess I should thank you for keeping him safe and, well, alive. It’s just so weird to see Sam like this. He’s so…”

Jake’s lip trembled in a particularly Sam fashion and his eyes drifted off into space as tears began to roll down his ruddy cheeks.

“He’s so happy,” Jake breathed, in awe. “He was right, he was never happy here. I pushed him too hard. Josh was too wrapped up in his own crises. Our parents never gave him a second glance. And now he’s so free. He got out. You two have done so much and gone so far that it just makes everything at home feel even smaller. I guess I didn’t realize until I saw him again that there was something to ‘get out’ of.”

“It’s okay,” Danny whispered, reaching out and putting a hand on Jake’s arm. “Hey, breathe, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Jake wailed, fully swept up in his hysteria now. “It’s not okay. This is supposed to be a place people flock to, not run from. And, shit, if it was so bad that he had to run, you’d think he’d have the decency to at least tell me and Josh. You’d think he’d ask if...”

Danny thought he’d be more distressed watching Jake completely spin out, but he was actually pretty calm. He supposed this was par for the course in a place like this. Another holy man laid to waste by a betrayal. Another brother struck down by his brother, laying still while the other wandered. In some twisted way, there was something divine here, but not in the way that any of them wanted. Danny suddenly felt even closer to Sam, and he shivered a little with the understanding and satisfaction of it despite the gaunt atmosphere over the entire estate. He kept a steady hand on Jake’s arm when he crossed his arms on the table and buried his face shamefully, the lean crest of his back shivering with an unruly sob. 

“You should go, Jake,” Danny whispered. “I mean, you should leave, too. You can’t be happy here.”

“That’s not an option for me,” Jake laughed, his face still hidden by his periwinkle sleeves. “There’s too much here for me to leave behind.”

“Josh?”

“Josh,” Jake repeated, voice wobbling. “Always gonna be Josh. As much as I’d love to have a week to myself without having to set up a million church activities or food drives or buying a trunkful of candles, I know he can’t handle the responsibility all on his own. It’s just easier if I do it so he can focus on writing sermons and doing confessions.”

“What happened to having faith in each other?”

“He doesn’t want to handle the responsibility on his own,” Jake corrected. “That’s another thing. In all honesty, I always thought if any of us were going to make it out of here, it’d be him.”

“Really?” Danny asked. From what he’d heard, Josh was more than happy with a microphone in his hand and adoring congregants standing at the ready to harmonize with his gospels. 

Jake calmed slightly, resurfacing from his arms to rest his chin and catch his breath. His round face was still flushed with emotion and Danny resisted a very genuine urge to brush his hair back from where it lay lingering on his cheeks, kept there by stray tears. 

“Josh…” Jake trailed off, his gaze finding comfort counting the slats in the blinds. “Josh struggles. I mean, we all do, but he…I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me much. I just know something keeps him convinced that he’s not worthy of being the pastor. Which is ridiculous, in my opinion.”

“Really,” Danny repeated, slightly more somber as he thought back to his first impressions of Josh and the immediate recognition whose source alluded him. It came to him in a wave, then, along with the fond ache of understanding.

“No one is more deserving,” Jake continued. “There’s no one as kind or as devoted as him. I think it’s just the church, well, the Convention, really, that has certain ideas that make him feel…unworthy, maybe. There’s an expectation he thinks he doesn’t live up to.”

“He’s..?” Danny trailed off, testing the waters cautiously in case the conclusion he’d jumped to was entirely wrong. 

“He’s my brother,” Jake said firmly, finally looking Danny head on. “And my best friend. That’s all that matters to me.”

Danny sat back in his chair, a long held breath (of relief?) escaping his chest as his understanding of Jake finally crystallized. He wasn’t really a sharp tongued, verse slinging Bible thumper with a million little hills to die on. Jake was a man who was first and foremost devoted to his family, and he was willing to forego all of his wants for their needs. He was a brother, and he feared for how the world would treat his brothers, both inside and outside his little world. And at the end of it, he’d withstand feeling forgotten if it meant they felt seen. He had never been angry, not really. Just hurt.

“You’re a good brother, Jake,” Danny insisted, flashing Jake a smile. “You and Sam should have a chat before the night is through. And I still believe you should think about leaving. Both you and Josh, actually. There’s a lot of world you’d really like to see. Obviously it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but I do think it’d help.”

“You’re probably right,” Jake agreed. “And thank you. Sorry for, you know, everything.”

“It’s no problem,” Danny said genuinely. “I’m happy to help.”

“You are, aren’t you?” Jake laughed. “I’m surprised you’ve stuck around this long, honestly. Especially since you’re not religious. But I guess if you’ve put up with Sam for a year and not jumped overboard, you must be accustomed to some nonsense.”

“I don’t ‘put up’ with him,” Danny asserted. “It’s a privilege to get to spend so much time with him.”

Jake watched him with an arched, amused eyebrow, finally straightening in his chair to smooth his hair back and settle with his arms crossed. 

“So, what, I’m gonna wind up being your brother, too?”

“I mean…in a way,” Danny laughed, heart racing. “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,” Jake answered, shaking his head slightly. “I figured. I mean, after he hit 21 and had no dating prospects or interest in dating at all, I assumed he was gonna forgo it completely. I just guessed he was more interested in his commitment to the church, like Josh.”

“Seems they both had their reasons to stay away from girls,” Danny noted.

“I suppose they did,” Jake said with a light laugh. “And still do. But, wow, Sam really does light up around you. I’ve never seen that with him.”

Danny smiled, blushing with warmth again as he tried to recall Sam’s expression when he was around. He’d always been smiley and wide eyed when looking at Danny, complete with pupils blown wide and overtaking the honey brown of his iris while he mapped Danny’s face. Wasn’t that how he’d been before they met? Apparently not. 

“You’ve got good intentions?” Jake interrogated, nudging Danny’s knee with his own. “You treat him right?”

“I do, I do,” Danny insisted, crossing his own arms and grinning. “I sure try. He’s easy to love.”

“You love him?”

“I…yeah, I do,” Danny affirmed, certain of his answer. “I didn’t even mean to say it like that, but, yeah. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, it’s alright,” Jake smiled, yet slightly subdued. “Just…be careful, okay? At least as long as you’re in Alabama. Especially in Shady Grove.”

“I know,” Danny said softly, a little more morose. “Sam warned me about that. Another reason he left.”

“Another reason we should go,” Jake replied reluctantly. “Right?”

“Right. Believe me, nowhere is going to be perfect, but I think you’ll like the version of Josh you’ll meet when he can be himself. I’ve loved watching Sam come out of his shell.”

“I wish I could’ve been there for that,” Jake whispered, choking up again. “He’s probably out there right now telling Josh how much he hates me.”

“Don’t say that.”

-

“I fucking hate him.”

“Sam.”

Sam had bolted the second he was out the front door, but Josh had known where to find him. Ever since Sam had been young enough to start throwing the tantrums that had made him so intolerable to their parents, he always fled to the dock at the bottom of the hill. Ever the mediator, Josh had spent his fair share of time on the rotting wood planks listening to Sam vent his frustrations as they plunged sticks and rocks into the murky water, eventually advising him with echoes of affirmations he’d heard from the mouths of older congregants. But they were adults now, and as Josh sat on the dock with Sam curled into his side, he realized with a faint panic that there were no more words to borrow but his own. 

“I do,” Sam insisted, his head resting on Josh’s shoulder as he glared out over the blurred surface of the small lake. “I really do. I’m done with him.”

“No, you’re not,” Josh sighed, throwing an arm around Sam’s shoulder and rubbing his arm. 

“Whatever,” Sam grumbled. “I want to be.”

“You don’t have any kind of hate in your soul, Sam,” Josh told him. “God takes it from you and leaves you even more kind and enduring.”

“Josh, stop,” Sam whispered, sending an embarrassed thorn right into Josh’s side. 

“Stop what?”

“The God stuff. Please. Just, not now, at least.”

“The ‘God stuff’ used to make you feel better.”

“No, it didn’t. I just didn’t say anything.”

They sat without speaking for a minute. Without their voices, the rushing rain sounds of the mayflies and the hush of the surrounding trees filled the void between them. 

“You could’ve said something,” Josh murmured. “Especially if it would’ve stopped you leaving.”

“It wouldn’t have,” Sam answered. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I think I would’ve left no matter what happened.”

“Oh,” Josh said, sounding small. “Did you know that before you left?”

“To some degree.”

“...I would’ve liked to know that, too, Sammy.”

Sam swallowed a guilty lump in his throat and sulked further against his brother. 

“Sorry,” Sam whispered. “It was selfish. It’s just…I was scared if I told you, you’d tell Jake, and then he’d tell Dad, and then you’d all hatch some master plan to keep me here.”

“I suppose that’s not an unfounded fear,” Josh admitted. “Remember when Jake had his little Sunday school girlfriend? I didn’t see him for, like, three days after Dad got wind of it.”

“Exactly. And then you would’ve written up some elaborate, guilt trippy sermon and sat me down in the kitchen and made me talk about my feelings for 2 hours minimum.”

Josh laughed a little, drawing a knee to his chest against a cool breeze that rolled off the lake.

“I’m pretty predictable, huh? Goodness.”

“And that wouldn’t have worked because if I talked about my feelings…”

“What?”

“...”

“What, you wouldn’t want to hear my feelings about the whole thing?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s too late for that now. And that’s not-”

“I haven’t even told you how I felt,” Josh pointed out. 

“I know how you felt,” Sam murmured, tears searing his waterline again. “Maybe it’s you and Jake with your creepy twin telepathy, but I felt you both the whole time, even all the way out in California. It’s horrible. Some days I couldn’t even enjoy myself because I could feel the disappointment two thousand miles away.”

Josh felt tears of his own threatening to spill over hearing that. It had never occurred to him that a lifetime of observing at the sidelines would’ve made Sam so accurately attuned to his family’s emotional patterns.

“Sammy,” Josh exhaled. “It pains me to listen to this. You don’t have to feel so guilty about everything.”

“Neither do you.”

Josh bristled slightly, lifting his cheek from Sam’s hair and looking down at him.

“What do you mean?” Josh asked gently. 

“I know you didn’t want to be pastor.” 

“Well, I love it now.”

Sam pulled away from Josh and crossed his legs under him, staring out over the water before staring Josh in the eye with a look so sincere and cutting that it made Josh lean back slightly.

“It’s okay if you don’t, you know,” Sam said evenly. “It’s okay if you’re upset.”

“What do I have to be upset about?” Josh teased, pushing Sam’s bony shoulder. “I live in this beautiful little town and get to spend my days with its beautiful little people talking about what I love. Plus I just got my baby brother back. I’d be a fool to complain.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Josh, cut it out,” Sam snapped, grief fizzling into frustration. “You sound like Dad at his worst. Why can’t you just drop the act for 2 seconds and admit you hate it here?”

Josh’s eyebrows flew up and he let out a reflexive laugh, anxiety coloring his tone as it fluttered cautiously out of him. Sam looked at him pleadingly, grabbing his brother's hand and gripping it tight.

“I know you didn’t want to be pastor,” Sam repeated firmly. “I know you wanted to go to college. And I…I know you’re gay.”

Josh immediately froze, falling silent as Sam stared into his eyes and what felt like his soul. 

“And that’s great,” Sam continued on, a tear escaping his eye and rolling down his cheek. “It can feel amazing if you’d just let yourself feel anything. Trust me, I know. You’re not trapped here, dude. You can still go to school and be yourself and be happy. You just have to put yourself first for the first time in your fucking life.” 

Josh, struck dumb, couldn’t do anything but breathe as his heart burned in his chest and pushed up hot tears that blurred his vision of his brother. His brother, who was undressing his façade with effortless impatience that made Josh begin to wonder just how transparent he truly was. Or was it only Sam, who was part of him in so many ways, that could see how blind Josh was? When he spoke in dizzying circles of hell and damnation, were his congregants shaking their heads in pity with the knowledge that all Josh was really doing was scaring himself back into submission?

“If you’re really okay with how your life is turning out, tell me now and we can never talk about it again,” Sam promised. “I swear to God. I will leave it alone.”

Josh hesitated further, pulling his hand from Sam’s and letting out a slow breath. Looking down at the cloudy water swaying underneath them, he wondered how big of an inhale of it would take for him to sink right to the bottom. 

“You’re right,” Josh confessed, his voice as soft and as uncertain as Sam had ever heard him. “I didn’t want any of this. It’s too much pressure. And the more I read the Bible and listen to the sermons from out in Texas and Georgia…the more I lose faith in what I’m supposed to be telling people.”

“Yeah,” Sam whispered, finding respite in Josh’s honesty. “I never really believed we were all born sinners.”

“I still kind of do,” Josh admitted. “But now I’m thinking there’s no amount of trying that’ll change that. I do all of this praying and writing and confession but I’m still…”

“It’s not sin, Josh. How you feel, how we both feel. There’s nothing to be saved from when it comes to that,” Sam insisted with quiet urging. “Seriously.”

“Maybe,” Josh whispered, picking at the skin around his nails as a dark coil of shame slithered in his stomach. “It just isn’t natur-”

“It’s like this,” Sam started, trying to put something into terms that would get through to him. “God is everyone and everything. Maybe that’s something I still agree with. And when you stop dedicating yourself to trying to get him to pay attention to you, you start to see Him or whatever “He” really is everywhere. You realize that you’re honoring Him by honoring yourself and doing what feels right to you. I don’t know if that’s something we’ll get rewarded for in heaven, but the reward of it on Earth is enough for me.”

“‘Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it’,” Josh recited with a nod. “Hebrews.”

“Sure. Yeah, actually, yeah. What I’m trying to say is you should live for yourself, Josh, not God or Dad or anyone. And if you still want God, you’ll find that without even trying.”

“Did you find Him with Danny?” Josh asked quietly. “In Texas?”

Sam blinked in surprise. He’d never thought about it like that, but…

“I guess I did,” Sam breathed, a smile drifting onto his face as he thought fondly of Danny. “At the start, at least. Now it’s all just him, no capital H.”

Everything was Danny to him, in complete honesty. Even though Sam only half believed the whole speech he was giving to Josh, he couldn’t deny the divinity he felt in the presence of his boyfriend. His best friend.

“I want that,” Josh murmured. His throat closed with emotion as he forced the words out, but it felt good to say. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d expressed wanting out loud, and based on the look on Sam’s face, he realized it may have never happened before.

“Go get it,” Sam said fiercely, his grin growing wildly when Josh’s eyes lit up a little at his encouragement. “You wanna come to Florida with us? We can find you a nice, alligator hunting boy.”

“Slow down, slow down,” Josh laughed, holding up his palms in surrender. “One step at a time.”

“Just Florida, then. We’ll ask Danny.”

As if summoned, there grew the sound of hushed voices and the sound of shoes on the wooden steps down to the deck, bodies hidden by the trees and the dark. Eventually they emerged, Jake hopping down from the last step that had been laid too high, bending at the knee from the impact as long legged Danny casually stepped down beside him. Sam and Josh turned to face them, leaning back on their hands and giving little waves. Without any words, they all knew the night’s battle had blown over, and Sam reached for Jake as he sat down between him and Josh. Jake received him with a hug, both of them bent into each other awkwardly as they murmured brief apologies to the other. Josh, unable to stay out of anything ever, leaned into their embrace and struggled to wrap his arms around both of them. Danny laughed as he settled next to Sam, their knees bumping as Sam attempted to wiggle out from the hold Josh had joyfully trapped them in.

“I’m just so grateful,” Josh wailed with phony passion. “I love my family!”

“You’d hug Mom and Dad like this?” Jake asked incredulously.

“...I love my brothers!”

All 4 of them laughed again as Josh finally released them, immediately proceeding to chastise Jake in a low voice as he fiddled with the frizz his hair had accumulated. Sam teetered backwards and landed with his back to Danny’s chest. Danny took advantage of the twins getting distracted and planted a kiss on top of Sam’s hair, letting his eyes flutter shut for a moment at the consolation of Sam back in his arms after the whirlwind day they’d had.

“All good?” Danny whispered in Sam’s ear, smiling when Sam nodded and tilted his head to grin up at him.

“You?” Sam asked, humming when Danny mimicked his own nod back to him.

“Jake said we can stay the night in your old bedroom,” Danny informed him, repeating what Jake had said in the conversation on their way out of the house. “But he won’t make us breakfast.”

“Fuckin’ liar, he will,” Sam laughed, reaching a hand up and lovingly stroking Danny’s cheek as he utilized his other hand to smack Jake’s thigh. “What’s this about no breakfast? You want me to burn the place down trying to make toast?”

“I’m just not babying you anymore is all,” Jake announced, smacking Sam right back. “Danny agrees it’ll be good for our relationship.”

“Traitor,” Sam complained, smacking Danny on the cheek and squealing when Danny scoffed and smacked him back. Jake let out a brash cackle and Josh a defeated groan.

“You’re like the Three Stooges,” Josh whined. “Also, coming from you, Sam? That’s a bold accusation.”

“Wow!”

“Look who’s finally growing some balls,” Jake continued to cackle, hooking his elbow around Josh’s neck and pulling him into a side hug. 

“The state of my balls are none of your concern,” Josh muttered, which made Sam and Jake let out identical barks of laughter. The three of them got whipped up into a frenzy of bickering and Danny watched with a grin and a bloom of warmth flowering in his chest at the sight. There was something being healed here, he thought, and he could almost see the misguided little boys they’d once been as they tussled and giggled on the groaning dock.

It was strange to think how differently he had felt just a few hours ago. With Sam in Danny’s life, it seemed like things changing at the drop of a hat was something that Danny was going to grow well accustomed to as long as he was around. After that night, even with Sam squirming out of his grasp to try and push his brothers into the lake, Danny knew with complete certainty that he wanted Sam to stick around forever. It was time he told him that.

-

“How was your shower?”

“Arctic.”

Danny laughed and opened up the wing of the sheets and comforters to welcome in Sam, who came rolling in with his hair still wet. He was clad in linen pajamas from his teenage years that fell slightly too short on his wrists and ankles, while Danny lay under the blankets in only his boxers and socks. Even though Sam’s skin and hair was freezing cold from the shower and dampened his own skin, Danny pulled Sam against him and struggled with the blankets to bundle them together as best as he could. 

“There, now we’re a proper burrito,” Danny smiled, kissing the tip of Sam’s nose.

“I’ve never had a burrito,” Sam whispered in a hushed, secretive voice. Danny gasped.

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not!”

“Well, that's okay, we'll remedy that. Plus, they’re not half as good as this,” Danny mumbled, using his grip on Sam’s back to pull him further into his bare chest and tuck Sam’s head into the crook of his neck. “Was the water really that cold?”

“Sub-zero,” Sam promised with a shiver. “Those assholes hogged all the hot water, I bet. Typical.” 

“I’ll warm you up plenty,” Danny purred, sliding his hand up Sam’s shirt and tracing his fingers along his cool skin with featherlight touch. Sam shivered again and giggled, nuzzling deeper into Danny’s neck.

“Not in my childhood bed you won’t, pervert,” Sam murmured against Danny’s skin, which seemed to be radiating great waves of heat like he were a human furnace. 

Said childhood bed had been a source of poorly hidden smiles from Danny, who finally admitted through a smothered laugh that the entire room looked like his grandma’s room back in Florida. No doubt done up and never redecorated for the daughter his mother had been expecting and never received, the wallpaper was pale, flowery and hung with silver crosses. Picture frames held stitched psalms that sat cheerfully on the vanity facing the bed. The double bed barely fit the both of them and, as Sam admitted through laughs of his own, the sheets and comforters that surrounded them now did, at one time, belong to his granny. When they’d first walked in, Sam had felt the loving ache of being remembered upon finding that the bed had been made and the room had been tidied for his return.

“How about some sleep, then?” Danny offered. “We’ve had a long day.”

“No kidding,” Sam quietly agreed. “I’m glad what happened did happen, shockingly enough. I really thought it was going to be a trainwreck. I should’ve had more faith in them, I guess.”

“You’ve got just the right amount of faith,” Danny hummed, eyes drifting open and shut as he grew sleepy from the perfume of Sam’s shampoo and his natural sweetness. “I’m really proud of you, baby. I know that was a lot for you. You’re a tough cookie.”

“I’m your tough cookie,” Sam murmured, tickling Danny’s neck with his nose and planting a lingering kiss on the pulse thrumming violently under his lips. Danny let out a breathy groan and gently dug his fingers into Sam’s back as Sam mapped a sleepy path of kisses along Danny’s neck.

“Easy, cookie,” Danny raggedly chuckled, smoothing his palm up and down Sam’s back as he fought in vain to stave off the growing pressure in his boxers. “I thought being in this bed was a no go.”

“It is,” Sam doubled down, lips dragging against Danny’s skin as he whispered. “Just saying thank you real quick.”

“You and your fuckin’ ‘thank you’’s,” Danny smiled, eyelids fluttering fully shut as he tilted his head back and gave Sam more area to cover. “This is like that first night all over again.”

“I was so embarrassed,” Sam giggled, his breath fanning out in warm bursts over the thin layer of saliva cooling on Danny’s skin. “I thought I’d gone and fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Sweetheart,” Danny cooed, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“No, I’m not,” Sam refused, pressing his cheek into the hollow of Danny’s collarbone.

“Yes, you absolutely are, my little California love.”

“Even after today?” Sam asked, sounding more uncertain than he wanted to. “I can’t think of a single other person on Earth who could’ve sat through all of that bullshit and still liked me at the end of it. Like, I really can’t apologize enough. Especially for Jake’s crazy ass.”

“Especially after today,” Danny insisted. Sam lifted his head from Danny’s chest and looked up at him with an unconvinced sneer, their noses brushing as Danny raked his fingers through Sam’s damp waves and searched for the fortitude to say what he felt. These were the moments where Danny felt it the strongest; Sam burrowed into him with his eyes as wide and wondering as the day they’d met. This was what love was to him.

“Sam,” Danny whispered sincerely, voice low and breathless. “If it meant I got to keep you by my side for 10 extra minutes, I’d live today over and over again. Do you understand? There is nothing you could put me through that I wouldn’t stick around for. Not when I’m this ridiculously in love with you.”

Sam’s already wide eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets at that, pupils expanding slowly as a nervous smile wound its way onto his flushed face. Danny smiled at him, feeling a flush of his own beginning to heat his body from his heart outwards. 

“You’re what?” Sam asked, leaning back slightly to look at Danny properly. 

“You heard me,” Danny teased, pinching the rosy apple of Sam’s cheek. “What do you think about that?”

“I think you’re crazy,” Sam laughed, shimmying in their cocoon of blankets and limbs to readjust his arms to wrap around Danny’s neck. “And may have been dropped on your head as a baby.”

“How did you know that?”

“It’s the only rational explanation as to why you’d go and say that,” Sam flouted breezily. 

“Is it really so hard to believe?” Danny asked, making a pitiful face that made Sam’s heart flutter. “You make it very easy to be in love with you, as a matter of fact. I don’t have to try at all.”

“I love you,” Sam murmured, in awe. It’s not like he was stupid, he knew Danny had to have loved him for them to have gotten as far as they had, but it still felt entirely unexpected to actually hear it. After a year of being startled awake by Sam’s sleep talking, patiently listening to stories of the worst of Sam’s childhood punishments, even sleeping sitting up in a jail cell in New Mexico when Sam’s newfound chutzpah found purchase with a rowdy biker, there was Danny at the end of it all. Patiently awaiting what fresh hell Sam would drag him into next. 

“I love you, too,” Danny assured him. “But are you in love with me?”

“Fucking obviously,” Sam blurted. “I'm so in love with you, Danny, fuck. I didn’t realize I even had to clarify that.”

“Of course you did! How else would I know?” Danny laughed, eyes glittering with glee and relief at Sam’s confirmation.

“I thought I had made myself plenty clear when I followed you across the country with zero hesitation. Twice.”

“I guess that’s fair.”

“Also, I mean, you popped my cherry, so.”

“You weren’t gonna give that up for just anyone, huh?” Danny laughed, his freckled nose crinkling. 

“Nope,” Sam smiled flirtatiously. “I was saving it for truuue looove.”

“Is that what this is?” Danny asked softly, his smile paling with uncertainty as he searched Sam’s dark eyes. 

“I hope so,” Sam breathed, his heart racing just as fast as it did when he was still learning to look at Danny without feeling faint. “Do you think it is?”

“I do,” Danny said sincerely, cupping Sam’s jaw. “Let’s say it is and go from there.”

“Works for me,” Sam agreed, nervously tilting his chin forward and melting from the inside out when Danny met him with a fiery kiss.

Sam was no stranger to the possessive pressure Danny preferred to apply when kissing, but there was something fierce behind this kiss that left Sam feeling utterly and completely loved. Lying in the same bed just over a year ago, Sam recalled how he’d bundle the blankets into a wall to press his back against as he slept, pretending it was someone to keep him steady and wake him in the morning. He thought of how that was something he didn’t need to dream about anymore. He thought of how lucky he was. How blessed.

“I’m starting to think Josh may have been right,” Sam sighed against Danny’s mouth, now tucked under him with Danny’s loose curls tickling his cheeks. “I think you’re my guardian angel.”

“You’re the angel here,” Danny insisted, thinking of Sam’s tattoo and feeling his thighs tighten unconsciously on either side of Sam’s hips. “Never gonna let anyone clip your wings ever again.”

“I’m serious,” Sam whined, twining his fingers in Danny’s hair and pulling him closer. “You’re the real deal.”

“Maybe Josh did get one thing right tonight.”

“Speaking of Josh…how do you feel about another passenger on our way to Florida?”

“He’s going to have to share the backseat with Jake if that’s the new plan, ‘cause I’m pretty sure I convinced Jake to pack up too.”

“Family road trip,” Sam sang. “I hope your parents don’t mind.”

“No, they’ll love a full house,” Danny answered. “And my sister will love peer pressuring them into doing stupid shit.”

“I can’t wait to see them drunk for the first time,” Sam confessed with a laugh. “They’ll be fucking ridiculous.”

“I don’t know if you’ll want to see them like that if they’re anything like you were the first time you got drunk,” Danny teased, nipping at Sam’s earlobe. “I’ve still never heard you talk like you did that night.”

“Stop that,” Sam giggled, muffling a squeak when Danny kissed the sensitive skin under his ear. “I don’t even remember half of that night.”

“Your brain is protecting your dignity,” Danny joked, his voice low and warm against the shell of Sam’s ear. “You were kind of a slut.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked weakly, panting slightly from so little. Danny tended to do that to him.

“Oh, yeah. Big time. You cried when I wouldn’t put it in.”

Sam immediately slapped a hand over Danny’s mouth and shushed him theatrically, attempting to smother him when Danny laughed hysterically and tried to lick and bite at his fingers.

“What if they heard you!” Sam hissed, his wrists now pinned beside him as Danny held him down with visible triumph.

“Then I’ll apologize!” Danny laughed, jostling as Sam tried to wrench himself out from under him. “You’re the one making the mattress squeak all suspiciously. This is a Christian household, Sam, I mean really.”

“Shut up!”

“You shut up!”

“I hate you,” Sam declared quietly, sharp eyes trained up at Danny with a glimmer of mischief dancing at his waterline. Danny smiled fondly and lowered himself so their chests were pressed together. He cocked his head, looking Sam over with his hazel eyes lush with emotion.

“And I will love you ‘til the day I die, Sam Kiszka,” Danny announced, pressing his lips to Sam’s with careful appreciation and keeping them there for the hours that followed. 

In the morning, they’d clamor and argue and shed tears before pulling out of Shady Grove with a body in every seat of Danny’s beat up little truck. They’d follow the fate line to Florida to settle and heal and wander from the path like they always did. But that night, they had nothing to do but lay under the blanket of the whistling Alabama sky and love each other.

They’d find in the years and decades that followed, it never got much more complicated than that.

~~

Taglist: @holdingup-fallingsky @milojames16 @spark-my-nature @bladenotblaze @currentlyfangirling10

[utilitycaster]

If you've read that recent article on polygon about Candela Obscura - "Critical Role’s Candela Obscura fails to differentiate itself enough from its inspiration" (6 November 2023) - I don't know much about the other systems and have trouble being objective about things I love, I was wondering what your opinion is

Hi anon!

I have! I will also admit I don't know Blades in the Dark terribly well, or rather, I have roughly the same BitD knowledge as I have Candela knowledge: I've watched (or in this case, listened) to a actual play show run in it (TAZ Steeplechase) and I've looked at the SRD. The Candela full rulebook doesn't come out for a week, so I really can't judge it for myself. So this isn't going to be objective either, but hopefully it will point out what I think the flaws in this article are regardless of the merits or failures of Candela Obscura as a game.

I think my overall issue is what I said about Polygon on the whole earlier this week: it really feels like their metric is first, is this innovative; and second, "does this reinforce my pre-existing political values in a way that allows me to feel warm and fuzzy and virtuous because I played a fun game/watched a fun show and lets me continue to ignore that I haven't actually engaged in any of that tiresome and inconvenient meaningful anticapitalist action."

I also, for what it's worth, think that this mentality very explicitly conflicts with what Critical Role is doing. I think a lot of people interpret the whole "a group of friends playing games" image as encouraging parasocial behavior (which, frankly, is weird in that while the CR fandom has had a parasociality problem, it's no different than any large fandom - Laurisha shippers or the Twinnies & Husbands crowd are literally just the Actual Play Fandom equivalent of Gaylors and Larries; also like, the pitch for WBN earlier this year was basically "hey, we're four friends playing games" and no one has blinked at that, nor should they have) when I think it's intended to mean "we are friends having fun making and playing the games we want to play; it's great if you'll join us but we're doing what we want." Given that Polygon has shown something of a bias towards those shows that give them early access, I do think it might be that they're just cranky they're not being given any special treatment or catering by an actual play show they've been shitting on for years, and this is simply a vicious cycle.

All that aside, more importantly in this case, I think the article shows a notable lack of Ebert's law: "A movie is not about what it is about. It is about how it is about it." Samantha Nelson, the author of this article, appears to be both incapable of evaluating Candela Obscura outside the context of Blades in the Dark - which is frankly, in my again admittedly limited opinion, vastly overstated as an influence (the Forged in the Dark engine is certainly a strong influence, but that's purely mechanical and also it's still only an influence - more on this later) - and also seems to want Candela Obscura's rulebook to flesh out Newfaire and Oldfaire in the same way that Blades in the Dark fleshes out Duskvol.

The thing is, those wide-open spaces and the vagueness of OldFaire? That's deliberate. The Looper interview with Spenser Starke and Rowan Hall as well as the Tabletop News interview both make this clear. The aim of Candela Obscura is to be very easy to pick up, to not have a bunch of intimidating lore that players and GMs need to know before they jump in (and I say this as someone who, when invited to her first D&D game, was the person who read the PHB and sent the other new players a brief summary of each race and class; I love intimidating lore), and to accommodate a wide range of styles. They considered making Oldfaire much more detailed in the book and then decided not to so that GMs felt more free with the world. Again, my knowledge of Blades in the Dark is heavily skewed by an actual play of it that's explicitly not in Duskvol (which I think is a very interesting commentary, namely, maybe Nelson just really fucking loves Duskvol but no one else gives a shit). I genuinely think they are, as more and more Polygon TTRPG/Actual Play coverage seems to be, barely paying attention to what's in front of them and just deciding based on who put it out.

As I said in my earlier posts I do think Candela distinguishes itself from BitD in a number of ways mechanically. The gilded dice mechanic is obviously one of the biggest ones. The lack of flashbacks - a pretty core element of Blades in the Dark - is another. The fact that scars change your stats rather than dealing a permanent penalty (as Trauma does in BitD) is seen as a flaw, as is the lack of lair-building, but I think these things work in tandem. Blades in the Dark is very much about growing territory and becoming a more and more powerful crime syndicate; while four traumas will take you out of the game the same way scars will, there's a lot more opportunities to heal and I believe you have much more room to take stress. Candela Obscura, as another interview I read states (ScreenRant), is a gothic/eldritch horror game about normal people in unfathomable circumstances. You don't really get much better! You adapt, but progress against these monsters is always a long shot. Candela as an organization has been operating for millennia, and the war seems to be one of attrition, and the mechanics, from what I know from the show, reflect that.

The bit about the criminal crew and the lair is honestly kind of funny to me, because in the TAZ Steeplechase wrap-up I listened to last week the McElroys noted that the lair element of BitD was actually really hard to incorporate and they largely ignored it. Obviously that's not true for everyone, but famously D&D in the earlier editions guided high level play towards running one's own dungeon, and there is a reason that hasn't survived to the newer editions, namely, that shift from being a crew out there doing wild and exciting heists and adventures to painting the walls of your clubhouse and hiring guards is not actually fun for a lot of people.

So in summary: I really don't think the author of this article paid a single scrap of attention to the motivations behind design choices, is mad the horror game doesn't give them a kiss on the cheek and tell them they're So Good at Leftism (the comment about not understanding that the restrictions on scarlet aren't tied to anti-immigrant sentiment is particularly egregious), and generally is like "why is this game that shares some similarities but ultimately rather different goals than Blades in the Dark not literally Blades in the Dark but with slightly more aggressive ghosts."

[craacked-splatters]

"I know"

"Do u want to see what I added today?"

"Sure buddy"

(insane rambling below!)

Scrapbooks! Scrapbooks! Hell yeah!!

Hello to the 5 ppl seeing this👋 Ima be real Im running on 7 hours of sleep after 5day grind brain mushy rn and I scribbled everything maniacally by memory at 3am after having one of those revelation moments so I have no idea what I'm missing lmao. This is actually the first time drawing them like this 2. Really proud of it

and B4 u ask anything hear me out.

So like tmnt2012 mutant apocalypse am I right?

Yeah it's flawed and pacings off and stuff BUT! The implications it left behind are haunting and it has been stuck in my brain for years. One of the things that stuck with me was the fact that Raph and Don had stuff like April's tessen, Mikey's stuffed bear head, The Creeps containment jar, and Casey's skull(horrifying btw) with them and that it's like :((

I fully believe it was Donnie who collected and carried them everywhere in their car. Not only for Raph(to help with this memory)but also for himself.

Why? Well maybe I'm reading 2 much into it and it's also partly a HC of mine but also bc canonically Donnie has a bit of a hoarding habit collecting trinkets and pictures and stuff. He likes to keep things around that hold a lot of significant value to him.

We see this in The Creeping Doom during the intro

AND I swear he's got a literal wall of family photos in his lab somewhere I can't for the life of me find it but I know he did! He even took some to the farmhouse with him when they escaped during the invasion.

They're memories yk? Reminders..

Ok im having difficulty expressing this shit rn words r failing so like give me ur brain 4 a sec.

Imagine ur donbot.

You're stuck in a cold metal limbo for the rest of ur last remaining family members life. Everything and everyone you knew and cared about is dead and gone. Over thousands of species and ecosystems that made ur world unique wiped out. No more animals no more wild things no more blue clear skys. Death can't come for you. Not in a way that matters anymore.

And no matter where u go you are haunted by shadows of what once was. There are so many echoes and ghosts and cultures and stories and lives that were buried & left to rot by the gaping maws of fear & the desperate need to survive. No one cares for the past and the only other person around you can't remember it. Time will claim its domain again and there will be nothing left except empty metal husks to show sentience even existed in the first place.

Like holy shit he was just a kid bro and he never got the chance to even reach full adulthood!!! I can't possibly imagine the grief and guilt he must've carried with him all those years. He lost EVERYTHING

His family. His home. His world.

Did Donnie even get the chance to mourn??? Do u think his new body allowed it? Do u think he even ALLOWED himself to mourn? He had a hurt amnesiac brother who still needed to eat, who could still starve and bleed and die if they weren't careful enough.

So between his habits and the ✨Angst✨ and human pollution, him hoarding random ass things Wall-E style and making these shitty little scrapbooks or keepsakes didn't seem so far fetched to me. I also highly doubt there was enough time or resources to build shrines or graves in the middle of apocalypse. But yk honoring/preserving the memories of the things and ppl we love is natural for us so like SORRY if its a bit cringe of me wanting him to have SOMETHING to comfort him during the really bad days.

Even if its more bitter than sweet

Bonus doodads cuz I was indecisive:

The 1st was purple tinted cuz of donbot vision get it hehehe

[xiaoshengnu]

𝕸𝖞 𝕵𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖄𝖔𝖚 (2023)

overview : episode no - 24 | genre - wuxia

yun weishan has only ever known darkness. brought up and honed from a young age to become a spy under the mysterious sect wufeng, she longs for freedom. the drama begins as she is sent on a mission into the gong family, the enemy sect of wufeng. if she succeeds, freedom she gets. surrounded by schemes and treachery with possible death looming on both sides, yun weishan must navigate the dangerous waters of the gong family and her own turbulent emotions towards her target, gong ziyu.

l⃣e⃣ t⃣’ s⃣    b⃣e⃣g⃣i⃣n⃣

YALL THIS DRAMA. THIS DRAMA. this drama was simultaneously the worst and best thing I have experienced in a long time. however, if I could only use one word to describe this drama, it would 100% be stunning. the drama is absolutely stunning. from the music to the costuming to the makeup to the actors- this drama's visuals is quite frankly something never seen before in chinese dramaland- its so dark and brooding and so cool. the plot on the other hand...? let's get into it.

o⃣u⃣t⃣     o⃣ f⃣     t⃣ e⃣ n⃣

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙 - 3/10

𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 - 7/10

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 - 7/10

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 - 10/10

𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕖 - 6.7

o⃣u⃣t⃣    o⃣ f⃣    f⃣ i⃣v⃣ e⃣

𝖍𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝖌𝖊𝖒 𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖚𝖊 - 💎💎💎💎💎

[ honestly, this drama is pretty unique I have to give it that much. in every way. the characters? the premise? and the style? I think the visuals alone grants it it's five gem value. ] 

𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖆𝖙𝖈𝖍 𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖚𝖊 - ✨✨✨

[ despite the plot that is quite literally held up by like two stitches, I would probably rewatch it for the characters, but probably not think too deeply about the drama's construction as a whole because honestly- it would frustrate me to no end. ]

‘keep reading’ for detailed review

 𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙 - 3

okay- hear me out y'all. I know people absolutely LOVE this drama and I am one of them, but I have to admit the logic in this plot sucks ass. like it really sucks ass. recently i heard a youtuber describe the characters as people who thought they were zhen huan but in reality were just a bunch of xia dongchuns and it really made me laugh- and guys... unfortunately, its true. some of the methods that the characters use to scheme and idk "verbally spar" honestly were just so- sigh. so ridiculous.

generally speaking, I felt that the drama didn't really have a "thread" or a central purpose, which I think is mainly a result of the build up to the ending. it failed to answer so many questions and instead made it worse by creating even more. overall, the plot kind of just felt like wading through a gigantic mud marsh with pointless confrontations and plot points popping up everywhere. the scriptwriters gave the drama a super complex framing that they just weren't able to do justice. two powerful sects and two people from completely opposing sides. one is an assassin-spy that initially (?) yearns for freedom and one is the leader of the sect that she is trying to destroy. add to that all the scheming that goes on the gong family. and a lot of childhood trauma. that's a shit-tonne of emotion and plotting to deal with which you can't realistically develop to a good quality within just 24 episodes.

I also got the vibe that the scriptwriters were scared to pin point any of their characters down for the sake of mystery, which honestly instead of making the drama better, really just made it worse. so many characters' motives were constantly doing 180s and big revelations were thrown in without any evidence of it being interlaced with the rest of the drama (I'm looking at you Big Plot Twist At End of Drama). like, the general concept was amazing, show-stopping, fantastic, never seen before, but then came the execution and it all just sort of fell apart.though I did enjoy the plot and watched the show until the end, ultimately I felt that there was honestly just too many frustrating flaws to justify it getting anything higher than 3. I loved the drama all the same though, the concept, the music and cinematography was just insane.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 - 7

ugh all the characters in this show where literally sO COOOLLL. they all had such distinctive characters, styles and personalities, it was amazing. honestly, literally never seen before. their tragic backstories were so so heartbreaking. while plot wasn't fantastic, the drama was pretty good at establishing and handling the characters and their emotional attachments to each other. its kinda funny to me that for a drama which marketed romance as it's main thing, the non-romantic relationships were so much better written. I loved yun weishan and yun que's relationship to their master han yasi and the relationship between xue chongzi and xue gongzi. and omg, gong ziyu's relationship to lady wuji? brought me to tears.

speaking of the romance department; I found it really hard to invest in the ships. while I approved of all the pairings and thought a romantic dynamic between them would be very interesting, it did feel like the storytelling was yet again lacking. I couldn't be sure wether I could really invest and ship the romance between shangguang qian and gong shangjue bcs both their motives were so unclear, and neither of their feelings towards one another were never really explored properly? and while I definitely understood yun weishan's attraction to gong ziyu, I didn't really get why gong ziyu loved her and risked so much for her which made some of his actions seem really silly and hard to stand by. overall, for the romance, i think I liked what it had the potential to be than what we actually got.

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 - 10

Y'ALLL. time to talk about my absolute FAVOURITE part of this drama. THE PRODUCTION. the colouring, the lighting, the sets, the cinematography?? the makeup? the music? the costume design?? THE COSTUME DESIGN?? its quite obvious that a huge amount of the budget for this drama has simply been poured into the design, like I've seriously never seen a drama shot like this ever before and it was absolutely insane (though they definitely had to cut down on the cast and extras, the whole drama has this weird kind of empty feeling for a manor that is so rich and famous and so tightly guarded, like yun weishan didn't even get a personal handmaiden) I remember seeing the trailers for this show and literally screaming- the drama itself did not disappoint. I would even go as far to say that I would watch this drama completely just for the aesthetics.

𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 - 7

in my personal opinion, no complaints about the acting, it was pretty great. although it's pretty dramatic at times and everyone speaks at the volume of a whisper, at no point in the drama did I get taken out of the show by the acting. esther yu really slayed in her new assassin role which was so fun to watch especially since most of her roles thus far have been rather cutesy and light- and her marital arts scenes ate- in fact all the martial arts scenes ate in my opinion. I think even the side characters did fairly well, it was all very nice. no complaints.

.

.

𝖇𝖔𝖓𝖚𝖘!!

favourite character(s) : 

yue gongzi ( who doesn't love an angsty angsty man? he's literally the definition of that teary wet cat meme and I love that for him ) 

xue chongzi (yet another angsty man- you can see a pattern forming lmao- his arc at the end was literally so heartbreaking. one of my favourite characters from this show fr. )

.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖜 (source mydramalist)

lead actors : esther yu, zhang linghe, lu yuxiao, cheng lei

director : guo jingming, luo luo

screenwriter : guo jingming

[mars-is-me7]

man, i have so many thoughts about qfoolish. he's just a silly little goofy guy but then when you peel away the first layer that you see of him and realize that he's rather a complex character. I feel like he's such a different type of character than what is usually shown. (and honestly, it's something that brings me a lot of comfort as i relate quite heavily to his very laid back nature that people will sometimes take as being unserious or even uncaring) Warning, this gets long (like 2.2k long to be exact) lol and i ramble a lot- also, disclaimer for my own sanity: this is an analysis of the characters! i adore any of the creatures mentioned here so please don't take any of this as a negative view on them! :D

Foolish's motivations are just very different than what typically motivates a character forward and in some sense it's really easy to skew what you think about him. As in, it's really easy to misinterpret his character i think. He express himself in a different way than i think most people are used to. He laughs in serious situations and is constantly just joking around. I think this causes people to think he cant/wont ever be serious, but the thing is that he's perfectly capable of being serious when he needs to be. For example, if he thinks that he and Leo are going into a serious situation, then he tells her to put her armor on. Really, just anything involving Leo he makes sure to be serious if the situation calls for it. Or like, fighting in dungeons only if he deems it dangerous enough to take seriously. but like, if he doesn't think a situation calls for it, then he just continues to be his goofy self. And sometimes when the situation calls for it, he is just in between those two points in a way that others aren't. He's just not afraid to joke around even when the situation seems dire (cellbit's kidnapping and rescue comes to mind. like, he played such a large role with his symmetry wand, but despite all the serious moments going on,, he was still just a goofy guy).

And one thing about him being so silly all the time is that even the other members on the island sometimes get a misconstrued picture of what they think foolish's goal and wants are. I think in some sense it's true to say that what motivates his wants is what the value of something he perceives is. For example, the sunbird he only wanted because of how cool it sounded and how rare it was. The cloud he wants because its something unique and useful. He wants Cucurucho's friendship because that's something no one else has and Cucurucho has access to items and is powerful.

But these wants aren't the most necessarily the most important things to him. Their something he has interest in, yes, but they're not more important than say his friends and family. Which, i feel like some people might not recognize about him. After all, he is constantly talking about wanting a cloud or how he'd have no issue in killing Bad (and holy shit is landduo and their relation something i could go on about for a whole more hour cuz there's so much there)

Because one vital thing that's so *so* important to recognize is that Foolish is very possibly one of the most loyal people on the island. And despite all of his flaws, he would never really want to truly hurt those he cares about. He is loyal to the people he cares about to an absurd amount. I think it's very clear to see his devotion for Vegetta and his adoration for Leo, but his loyalty also applies to his friends on the island. He would never *intentionally* want to harm anyone he cares about. I don't think some people understand that Mr. Mustard fell under that category as someone he cared about. The entire reason Cucurucho was able to lure him into accepting the mission It gave him is because it brought Mr. Mustard's name into the mix. It told Foolish that Pac and Mike were the ones responsible, and with nothing better to do, Foolish set out to complete this task.

To talk more about the recent events with him arresting Tazercraft: he would never truly want to harm or hurt them. However, when you're looking at the grand scheme of how things went down, he was manipulated and really had no other choice. Sure, he seemed to enjoy arresting them at first, but the thing is I don't think he really processed or even thought about how this action would be received by others. To him, arresting Pac and Mike sounded like enough fun, and it was coming from Cucurucho (who he's wanting to be friends with for actual months now, and Cucurucho literally called him friend in the book it handed to him) and being arrested sounded like something he'd enjoy. Again, like something *he'd* enjoy and that he therefore thought Pac and Mike would enjoy.

You have to realize, Foolish doesn't have the same perspective on these serious situations as some others do. And the thing is that he judges how others react based on how he would react to them. So, in that sense, he views being kidnapped/arrested as a good and fun thing! he even said today on stream, "apparently when you arrest someone, others won't find it funny". it might have just been one line, but in my eyes this gives a really clear insight into his character. To him, arresting Pac and Mike was only a positive thing because it would help him find his friend and it could be a fun event for them. His friend that he was told, by cucurucho, that had disappeared because of Pac and Mike. Foolish doesn't hold any ill intent, but that doesn't necessarily come across in others view of him. Although it might not be clear, he cares about Pac and Mike. Today he even expressed worries about them and said that he still considers them his friends (even though he's aware that they might not share those feelings about him anymore). He doesn't know about their past traumas, to him this was just a fun little event that would be fun for both them and him. When first accepting Cucurucho's mission to him, I'd say he doesn't realize the consequences his actions would have. That by arresting Pac and Mike, it'd leave the other members of the server doubting him and mistrusting him. That others would be angry at him for something that he hadn't realized the gravity of.

(just random thing i want to say here: honestly, if Foolish had any malicious intent towards Tazercraft, he could have easily made their arrest go unnoticed for at least a few days. just think about it: if he had said that the surprise he had was just for the two of them. if Jaiden hadn't accompanied them as a witness. people wouldn't of known then what happened to them, but the thing is that he wasn't thinking in this way because he would never seriously want to harm them. he even wanted Jaiden there as a witness)

I think he realized the backlash of his actions in the Favela when everyone seemed to swarm him and then when he got interrogated. In which, he never really lied. All things considered, Foolish is a rather honest guy. I'd even say that he almost never lies. Like, if he's trying to hide the truth about something, he often times will find a way to skirt around the question without lying. Like, just looking at the mess that was the interrogation yesterday (/lh) you can see that he doesn't ever actually lie. He just blabbers a bunch of nonsense and skirts around the issue without ever revealing anything. The issue arises when you look at the lie he did tell.

for those that don't know, Foolish gave Jaiden a rundown of what happened before arresting Tazercraft. and in this he tells her that Cucurucho gave him the option to either 'arrest Pac and Mike' or to 'kill Richarlyson'. Not even going to lie, when he said this is took me (and i think all of stream) off guard. because Foolish practically never lies in that way and so blatantly. because this was just 100% untrue. However, it makes sense why he did it. At that point, he realized that people were going to keep badgering him on why he arrested Pac and Mike, but at the same time he knew they wouldn't take him telling the truth seriously. He may care about Mr. Mustard but the truth is that the other members don't hold those same thoughts towards most the Capybaras in general. Like, just look at Fit's interaction with him today. Foolish literally reiterated the truth of why he did it over and over again, but Fit didn't believe him even slightly. Foolish didn't lie once about his motivations and yet he was just not believed.

I think he realized at some point soon after arresting Pac and Mike that people weren't going to trust the truth. Not from his mouth at least. So he lied to Jaiden because it's a lie that people will easily understand. it's a choice they'd stop questioning him about. Again, he doesn't do this out of malicious intent but because it's something easier for people to understand and relate to. It's something they're not going to hound him about, not like they will when he tells them the truth. This lie is more easily digestible for the island members and it also brings Foolish less stress if they take this and believe it. Everyone is willing to make sacrifices in order to protect the eggs. And he had to of realized that Jaiden was going to tell other people. The islanders almost always spread these types of details to each other, that's just how it goes. Telling this lie to her in secret makes it all that more believable when she goes and tells some of the others about it later cuz it's something Foolish told her in confidentiality. To the other members, it paints foolish only in a good light. Of course he wouldn't have actually wanted to arrest Pac and Mike, he did it to protect Richas! and that's all it takes to stop them from getting angry at him. All things considered, it's a smart move to pull. Although, I do have to wonder how this will come to bite foolish in the butt. Because i can only imagine that it will be revealed eventually, some way or another.

From what i understood, Cellbit immediately dropped his anger on Foolish once he was told it was to protect Richarlyson. When Jaiden tells him this information he doesn't even thing to consider that Foolish could have lied. After all, why reason would anyone have to lie about that? In my mind, i can only imagine that the lie will protect him for now and in the short term, but once revealed that it's a lie, i think there will be some repercussions against Foolish for sure. Like, even Jaiden doesn't know that he's lied. Jaiden, whom he's been telling everything about. Jaiden who is only one (aside from Leo) who now knows of Foolish's secret detective role. Jaiden, whose the one he's told almost the entire truth to.

An interesting thing to note though, is that I think Foolish's decision to lie to Jaiden was still rather spontaneous. like, it's not something he thought too much about. it's a fib that makes his life a little bit easier (a little bit less lonely) and right now it doesn't seem to hold any repercussions. the interesting thing, though, is that he hasn't repeated the lie at any point in time. and like, he also hasn't done any lying to reinforce the lie he's told. it'd be so easy to paint a story that he's being blackmailed, but he just *doesn't* even though it's a lie he's made himself.

Foolish, all in all, is someone that just acts or speaks before really thinking too much about what he's doing. About the possible side affects of his actions. He just *does* them.

I think it also plays in very well with the idea that he's lived for thousands of years. the things that affect the typical mortal just don't phase him in the same way, not when he's viewing everything as an adventure or an element that is fun. i think that also taking into consideration that he's lived for such a long time, it's rather surprising how easy he is to manipulate. Because that is what Cucucrucho is doing, when looking at the whole picture. cucurucho holds a lot of power and we all know that it easily could have arrested Pac and Mike without the intervention of Foolish. So why make him do it anyways?

Well we don't know that for sure, but we can make some guesses. To sow distrust between the members. To see how far Foolish was actually able and willing to go for the Federation. To place blame on someone aside from itself. All possibilities.

Regardless, Foolish has played right into their hands. He's a silly guy that's gotten himself into a serious situation. One in which he might end up having to navigate alone because even though he has Jaiden he's still lied to her, and even though he has Leo, he would never want to put his daughter into harms way. He said something at the end of the stream about how this might just end up being a lonely road he's taking and i couldn't agree more.

Anyways, that's all i got for tonight as it's late and idk what im getting at here, i just think Foolish is really neat and wanted to attempt to put that into words. :D

[masha-nikita]

How strong is his Mars?- Bernard Montgomery-

Here I am, two episodes of “How strong is his Mars? all at once. I am going to test a theory in Astrology community- you’ve got to have a strong Mars to be competent in the military.

Whether that theory is true or not, you guys know I have to talk about Monty.

Monty has Mars in Virgo; you see, I am writing about his Mars back to back with Patton’s, because Patton also has a Virgo Mars- so far, that makes 3 outstanding generals with Virgo Mars-- even though it is my opinion that Manstein’s Moon, not Mars, is where his military magic happens. Here I can say, Monty and Patton’s Mars works against the odds, and performs better, above Erich’s score.

I commented on Manstein’s Virgo Mars as follows- if stands alone without any other aspects, this Mars is too detail-oriented for its own good, especially in a fast-paced battlefield. An earth sign Mars has poor ability to take actions by intuition and improvising, unless favorably aspected by Neptune or moon. Virgo Mars possesses delicate tendencies to handle smaller details but may easily lose sight of what needs to be done on a grand scale. This Mars makes its native a fussing workaholic.

Monty’s Mars trines Neptune; this indicates that he intuits enemy actions reasonably well. With Mercury and Sun in harmonious sextile aspects, he’s supposed to be very reasonable, and his decision making process grounded in reality. A 3rd house Mars endows active mind. Any malefic astro body in 3rd house becomes innovative and stimulating to the wits (yes, Mars is considered a malefic), which allows the native to be very smart during arguments. I do not think Monty appreciates small talks—small talks would be regarded as petty nonsense by him. His speeches do have very good leadership quality, very exhilarating to listen to.

This is actually a pretty good Mars, but poor Monty has other aspects that aren’t that good.

Monty’s Sun opposites Pluto and Neptune, just like Manstein’s. This brings the native great difficulty in assessing their ego (represented by Sun). This flaw would destine them on a long, hard journey to find who they truly are as an “independent self”. Manstein’s Sun is in 8th house opposite 2nd house Pluto-Neptune; he might have been secretly very concerned with how posterity would value him after his death. What is of personal value that belongs to Erich may be a source of great illusion and inner tension, if handled unwisely. This value struggle may render him a hard cynic whose only concern is money and self-preservation.

Whereas for Monty (4th house sun, 11th house Neptune-Pluto), it looks like worldly reputation for the Montgomery family name is the struggle here—or maybe it is just his own name to be his desperate concern. Family is where a person was born into, and where they eventually establish themselves, and then dies into. He may have an exaggerated sense of patriotism if he could not agree with the family he was born into, or could not find his own family to belong to. He might view anybody who’s outside of his immediate circle “the troublesome other”, a great source of power struggle. It is not easy for him to acquire a smooth friend circle. With a 11th house Pluto, some explosive shit constantly goes down between he and his supposed social groups—he’s a bit antisocial, in a neutral sense of the word.

Now moving on to his Saturn—any planet in conjunction with the ascendant should be given special attention. I admit it is not an amateur astrologer’s place to call a person’s chart “unfortunate”, but there’s something so deeply karmic with Monty’s Saturn.

This Saturn—which symbolizes rigid structure, hard disciplines, delays and pessimism, could act like an invisible iron prison for the native; the tighter the conjunction with the ascendant, the tighter the iron grip. Either he secretly denies himself any personal enjoyments possible, or life would strip him of happiness by taking away important loved ones from him. A positive side of this aspect is that, while it does not give good creativity to weasel oneself out of a danger, it is unphased by any kind of pain and suffering the danger brings.

A Leo Saturn is not fun to deal with, because Saturn is in detriment in Leo. Leo’s natural ruler is Sun; the key words of Sun are “accomplishments, authority, and self-worth”. Saturn not only hollows out Leo’s self-worth, but the native is also very suspicious of any authority over them. Monty may constantly question how come somebody deserves such authority, and how does himself deserve anything? We could hear from Churchill’s single quote on Monty showing how bad he is in getting along with authority- “In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.”

It is very difficult for the native to learn about love, because love always involves a level of surrender. With such a karmic aspect, occasionally when Leo Saturn finds someone to love, he'd lose that person in a traumatic fashion. The native might end up going “fuck it, I give up.” Given this Saturn conjuncts ascendant, Monty sees no problem in denying himself worldly love and enjoyment. Leo Saturn is able to maintain some lightheartedness, a little bit of warped hero complex, thus the native is capable of dark humor.

Monty’s Saturn actually conjunct his ascendant from 12th house- a 12th house Saturn doubles down on certain problems. Saturn generally seeks to hold onto anything structured and concrete, yet 12th house is anything but. 12th house rules the afterlife, the disappearance, dissolution, the invisible worlds and creatures—dreams, unconscious, psychic realms, and illusions. Saturn in 12th native secretly believes in his own original sins, and is acutely conscious of and anxious about the existence beyond death. This Saturn has a tendency to draw the native into hermetic isolation and practices, because it is the world of the beyond that he looks at, the world where his loved ones have gone before he does.

However, sometimes this 12th house Saturn gives the exact opposite effect—what is beyond death and what is out there where everything dissolves into inmateriality, is such an acute issue that the native holds onto things and powers of this world to an excessive degree. For example, Vladimir Putin has a 12th house Saturn.

This series so far does draw a conclusion that perhaps it is not the Mars that brings forth a good general—I see no fire sign Mars. I haven’t even seen a Capricorn Mars (Mars is exalted in Capricorn). But I do see an unexpected common denominator- these commanders are all psychic on some level. I couldn’t help but wonder- what does “being psychic” really mean?

Perhaps it means the special ability either to reach into death, or to walk upon thousands of men’s life and death, the strength of coming to terms with the mortality of all the mortalities.

It might be a hot take for some people, but I really don’t see much psychic power from those famous 20th century occultist, especially Aleister Crowley. Neither his 8th nor 12th house is prominent; I don’t know what’s up with him. Maybe Crowley’s strength lies in his knowledge. I can statistically compare my own psychic ability against my friend, by measuring whose Tarot readings have longer projection into the future via client feedbacks, but what I see featured the most in many self-proclaimed magi isn’t psychic power, but the ego. Ego attracts egos, so there you go, a guru whose ego as big as the universe for the rainbow unicorn groupies to resonate with.

I digress. I love that there’s always smile in the corner of Monty’s eyes despite his Saturn, that’s the sign of an indefeatable man. This song is for him. May warmth and may love conquer all.

[slocumjoe]

What would you headcanon as the companions sexuality and type? If they had to have one.

Companions sexuality + their type + what'd be good for them

Seeing as these guys are all bi/playersexual in canon for game play reasons, the sexuality bit is ignorable and can be disregarded. I also tend to write them all as bi/pan in other reacts for reader immersion so as to not exclude anyone. Just don't worry about the sexuality, its fine

Cait; pansexual queen, has a romantic and sexual preference for women. She lacks a type because she lacks taste. Cait, when choosing her sexual partners, really needs a fucking committee of bitchy lesbians to give their votes. Her type is everywhere but generally bad. Who do I think would be good for her...ultimately, someone she wouldn't get along with, at first. Think Preston. Cait needs a good person who's selfless, kind, empathetic, and most importantly, unfazed. Someone who balks at her and what she's been through wouldn't be great for her. I don't mean fazed as in 'horrified', I mean 'yikes, that's more than I want to know or deal with.' It's fair to have that boundary, of course, but Cait needs someone who can know her and not flinch.

Curie; I personally think Curie is the token straight, but I can see her experimenting, just to really figure it out. I can also see her being heterosexual, but biromantic. Curie seems the type to get gay married just because she loves another lady, even if not physically intimate with her. Her type would have to be similar to her—hygienic, polite, detail and data oriented, curious...a model scientist and gentleperson, really. That would be good for her, if only because that kind of person is just a solid choice for partnership. But someone with more edge—think the pin to her cushion—would balance her out well. And Curie needs balance, and sometimes a different perspective. She needs some challenging. And she'd appreciate it! Peer review is important for growth and learning. I think she'd feel a little stagnate with someone too much like her.

Danse; Demisexual and demiromantic. Don't roll your eyes. This is just a fancy term for "it doesn't matter, as long I have a bond as deep as the marina's trench." Dude? Lady? Both? Neither? It does not fucking matter. You could be the hottest ass and goldest heart, if Danse doesn't have a long history and isn't close with you, he isn't going to consider it. His type is whoever the hell he ends up falling in love with. He could fall in love with Hancock if they worked through their shit and got close enough. But what would be good for him? Danse is both pin and cushion, so we can't make that comparison. Someone patient, I think. Someone who doesn't just tolerate his quirks and his various rough edges and flaws. Someone who doesn't just let him ramble about whatever's on his mind, but enjoys it. Someone who doesn't just allow him to touch them, but wants to touch him back. That kind of thing. Danse has suffered rejection all his life. You could be anything, anyone. He needs to be accepted. Not put up with.

Deacon; ...I'll say straight, but bi-curious piques my interest. He's one of those "late bloomers" I think. I'd say his type used to be Barbara—dry-humored, fretting, stubborn, poised, an extrovert, can-do attitude—but since Shit, he'd just think of her with someone like her, and that's not a relationship he's getting into. His current type would be flexible, open to anything so long as their values match up. What'd be good for him...a lot of people think someone he can idolize. No, pedestals are not good for Deacon. He needs to be himself, not someone else. So, someone perceptive, who can smell bullshit from miles away and calls it then and there. Who won't humor his self-deprecation and harmful coping mechanisms. Everything else, he can work with. Deacon is adaptive. But he's gotta be Deacon, and someone who lets him not be Deacon is just enabling him.

Gage; I say he has no label and I'm fucking sticking to it. Gage is an old ass raider who has probably tried and offered every hole there is—this is not a dude who goes "I'm [sexuality]". I won't even call him demi. Anyway. Type...Gage really only has one type, and like Cait, by the very nature of what he values, this person is unhealthy for him in the long run. They're aggressive. They're selfish and cold. They're not a good person, not anywhere in their bones. Gage ultimately needs to be lured in with promises of being His Type (Awful), but if they end up being Good For Him (Soft spot, principled, picks their battles, has respect and some decency), he isn't leaving. You reel him in, he's biting. He needs someone who's outwardly what he wants, but actually, what he needs. He needs something he thinks is too good for him, so he settles for trash. Like promising your toddler McDonald's for lunch, but just putting healthy shit in a re-used bag.

Deacon; wait hold on i already did you

Hancock*;

Whoops shit hold on the cat just decimated the counter top

Hancock**; Okay. Hancock also is unlabelable, in that he is too fucking horny. It isn't a "be nice to me and I'll die for you" like Danse, or "hole is hole" like Gage. Hancock transcends these pitiful ideas. What is Hancock's sexuality? Yes. He is simply sexual. His type? Yeah. Preference? Correct. Hancock kneels for the flag but that thang be patriotic. This is how I segue into "Hancock's dick is trying to kill him." His taste is whatever seems fun. Fun can mean public quickie. Fun can also mean BDSM with someone he's never met before at a second location. BAD. UNSAFE. Hancock needs someone who can satisfy his thrills, but is trustworthy and loves him enough to keep him safe, and respect him. So, "Yes we can go piss on the Brotherhood as they come from that subway tunnel, but we can't drink beforehand, i don't want you falling." That kind of thing. I can definitely tell you what's bad for him, and that's another substance user. Hancock very much does it as a form of depersonalization and thats not good for him. He needs someone who won't encourage his self-harmful habits.

MacCready; Also see him as a token straight. He gives good ally vibes. Frat bro ally. Mac likes his partners dark-haired, dark-eyed. He likes them visually different from him. Makes them exotic. As for personality, Mac-attack favors the more home-body type. Someone who likes cooking, is clean, good with kids...he just admires it! He likes someone who he thinks has their shit together. Can you blame him? He wants to chill and raise their kids, he needs a partner that does well with that lifestyle. As for what's good for him...about the same, really. Maybe someone more outwardly kind, who can bring out the best in him and help him shave off the mercenary thought process and values. But generally, MacCready wants someone who doesn't do bullshit. Just say what you mean and want to, he'll do whatever you need. Very much wants a partner, not just a significant other. A real partner.

Nick; Good morning bisexual community! This man be queer. His taste? Obviously a femme fatale, all legs and dark lips and suspicious outlines in their dress. Obviously a whiskey-soured gentleman, hard in the eyes, soft in the mouth, and harder in the hands. He likes his pals and gals the way he likes everything—theatrical. But what this old bag needs...firstly, to fucking process Jenny, for one. Good luck there. Two, Nick needs someone who doesn't entertain his philosophical brooding about his circumstances. He's prone to getting in his own head. He could use a referee, someone to point out when he's sulking to sulk. Maybe a callous need, but Nick's pretty well-adjusted save that. And hey, all he really asks for are nice shoulders. Besides, Nicky is old enough he doesn't really need influence with growth. It's more like road-side clean up, picking up years of litter. It's a fair thing to need. You get old enough, you start needing change and challenge.

Piper; Lesbian. Come on. Lesbian. Piper Wright fancies herself a tomboy (she is, at best, a toddboy), and while she says she prefers similar girls, girlie is down bad for femmes. She likes a gorgeous woman in a tiny dress. She likes a nice set of hips. Can't say I blame her. Piper has had few but fraught relationships, and her takeaway from them all is that she can't stand indecisiveness. She wants commitment or a clear, quick answer of 'no'. Piper has done situationships and she is DONE. And honestly, she needs the grounding of that! Piper is a flightly girl, always off on some new trail or adventure. Someone to anchor her won't just be a source of comfort, they very well might keep her from becoming an acolyte of a different cult, or worse, kegchugging more moonshine.

Preston; Bisexual and Pansexual just don't...feel right...like, I think he's an all-doors-open guy, but I just can't put a label on him. Maybe just "open to whatever happens"? Either way, Preston is similar to Curie in that his type is similar to him, and his type is a very good romantic candidate just by virtue of who they are. Compassionate, selfless, reliable, just good traits for a romantic partner. And I can't say he needs anything else, really. Preston doesn't have Curie's limited world experience, he doesn't need different perspective. He's seen and had different perspectives and most of them didn't work for him. The best trait for him, I think, would be someone with more edge to them. Preston is a nice dude who doesn't often want to cause problems, he wants to sort things as peacefully and amicably as possible. But if someone else says what he's thinking...that's just vindication. And Preston deserves some of that. He deserves someone who will sock another in the jaw for looking at him funny. He might not approve, but he'll appreciate it.

X6-88; Asexual, but it's possible for him to fall in love. Demiromantic doesn't feel strong enough a word for it, but I guess that works. His type is very flexible as well. It really depends. X6 is action-oriented, but he does put value on words, especially his own, being someone of few words nd fewer sincere, emotionally-available ones. I feel like his type would be someone who can navigate such things with ease, without being sappy. Emotionally intelligent, but poised and objective without being cold. Anything else would spook or annoy him. But as time went on, it'd be good for him to learn by example and loosen up with his own identity and desires. X6-88's best partner would be an advocate for synths, obviously, but they'd also see the pragmatism of emotional connection and self-worth and individualism. X6-88 exists in a shell—if you can crack him out of it, it's only a stone's throw to a romance developing.