#they love each other an unfathomable amount

[small-spark-of-light]

Hiya spark :DD

How many ocs do you have/remember??? (I have way too many lol)

hello :DD i currently have 3 ocs, excluding my persona!! heres two of them! they dont have names tho ;A; but they're a lesbian angel demon couple loosely based on good omens

and heres the other! this one is Julietta, shes a dancer based on a small porcelain swan figurine i have.

PLEASE forgive how messy it is, i left it as a WIP ;A;

[snapbackslide]

i just can't believe i'm never going to watch him score a goal again. it doesn't make any sense, i feel like it never will. he should be here.

[bilal-salah0]

While children around the world enjoy the summer holidays within the safety and comfort of their homes and plan fun beach trips with their families, our kids' childhood has been reduced to securing the bare minimum of food and water, fending off swarms of disease-carrying insects, and enduring the stifling heat inside the hellish tent. Seeing them fill water containers and struggle to carry them with their tiny hands breaks my heart into a million pieces. Our babies fall asleep drenched in sweat and keep waking up crying and gasping for breath. What makes it even more unbearable are the plagues of flies and mosquitoes that keep torturing their little fragile, malnourished bodies, increasing the risk of contracting infectious diseases, with no medical care available. They also face a very real and imminent threat of dehydration due to water and formula scarcity.Their older siblings are encumbered by burdens way beyond their years. They think it is their responsibility to fill heavy water containers and protect the newborns, but the truth is they are as vulnerable to the same threats that keep growing every day. No child should live in such a hostile environment. Rubble, garbage, and the smell of death are all around.

Our kids used to have a beautiful spacious home built after years of toil and sacrifice, just to be turned into ruins in the blink of an eye. Now, they are given no other choice but to be confined to the tight airless space of a makeshift tent swarming with all sorts of insects. Even if they go outside the only things that await them are the scorching sun, the hot summer air, and foul smells all day long. The summer nights are often equally suffocating depriving them of desperately needed sleep.

Using a wood-fired self-made stove to cook is beyond torture in such heat. It is also very dangerous to the children who keep going close to it. My heart sinks each time I see pictures of them next to the fire. Even preparing a baby bottle,if ever available, is an ordeal in such conditions but my family have no other options. They have been enduring unfathomable, relentless suffering for nine months straight, and they have been more than resilient but they are now way beyond exhausted. They have been daily fighting for their very survival but there's no guarantee of safety anywhere in Gaza as not only what is left of the buildings but also the tents are being indiscriminately bombed every single day. Even going to the beach to escape the sweltering heat has become a perilous journey for my family, and countless others, since civilians keep being targeted with airstrikes there too.

My family were not allowed to have even the slightest respite since the beginning of this waking nightmare. They have been striving to survive bombing, malnutrition, disease, the cold winter, and now the deadly heatwaves.

When I left Gaza shortly before the war, my dream was to build a brighter future for my loved ones. I have never imagined, once in my life, that I would be raising funds to literally save their lives. Now, my only wish is to keep them alive and as safe as possible, given the circumstances.

Your support is their only hope and solace amidst all the pain and loss. Please do whatever you can to help me save them from this brutal literal decimation of our people. Every contribution counts! Keep our babies in your thoughts and prayers 🙏 And Please donate any amount you can spare and reblog as often as you can. It is beyond words to say how grateful I am to everyone standing with us 🙏

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

"Don't You Know It's Bad Luck To See Your Bride Before The Wedding?"

Warning: I write reader as female 

Masterlist

One of the most interesting things about having a girlfriend from another world is learning about the culture and traditions that her world possesses. Normally, he would consider every part of the home of the love of his life nothing less than perfect, since it managed to create such an exceptional individual - the very same individual that he can proudly call his. This was, however, before you mentioned a certain tradition/superstition that you had where the soon-to-be husband and wife spend the night before their wedding apart and forbids said betrothed couple from seeing each other until they meet at the altar.

Here’s how our dear NRC boys would react when told this news:

Is cool with it. At least on the outside. They understand that it’s a silly little tradition from your home world so they let you spend the night with Adeuce (you bet that those two are your bridesmen/men of honour and the three of you and Grim are going to have the greatest bachelorette party of your life)/Papa Crewel 

But of all traditions, why this one? He seems perfectly calm when you say goodbye - you pretend you don’t notice how he holds you much longer and tighter than he usually does when he hugs you - and your text messages to each other are as normal as they can be, but no matter how hard he tries he just can’t shake off the cold feeling of loneliness your absence brings and how his body feels empty without yours to anchor it.

Once the festivities of his bachelor party are over, it takes five minutes of him trying and failing to keep himself occupied and distracted before his desire to at least hear your voice becomes unbearable and he grabs his phone to call you. He wordlessly slips off somewhere where none of his friends would find him and he gives you a ring. The two of you speak to each other until one of you falls asleep.

He would actually go through with it in its entirely and seeing you walking down the aisle in all your glory and beauty, emerging through the door like a celestial being, after hours of not seeing you had him completely awestruck, like a dying man seeing an oasis after spending hours crawling through the desert. It nearly almost made the wait worth it. 

Just never make him go through that again. Please.

Trey, Jamil, Silver, Jack, Sebek

Instantly shoots it down. 

Listen, Y/N, he loves you so much it hurts. He’ll move mountains for you, pluck the stars and moon out of the sky for you. He’d make the sun rise from the west if that’s what you desired. If there’s an option to carve out his heart and present it to you on a silver platter he would. Every breath he takes, every time his heart beats, and every hour of every day, he’s dedicated to making you the happiest person in the world - the ring on your finger is an attest to that.

But he won’t, absolutely will not nor ever, deprive himself of a single minute of your presence. He’s trying to make up for the years he’s spent without even knowing you and now that he has you in his life, do you think he goes a day without thanking every force in the multiverse that you found him and filled his life with light and colour and laughter. Do you truly believe that he would ever even attempt to get any amount of rest when you’re not in his arms? It’s absolutely unfathomable and he will stand for it. Now come over here and spend the next hour cuddling him for speaking such nonsense.

It does not matter how long your respective bachelor and bachelorette parties last, you two are spending the night together and that’s that. Full stop.

And don’t worry about the consequences. Whatever supposed ‘bad luck’ that befalls you as a result of his actions, he’ll shoulder it all. In sickness and in health until the end of time, after all.

Riddle, Vil, Jamil, Azul, Leona, Malleus, Idia

Haha, no ♡

Leona, Lilia, Jade, Floyd

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM???? 🥺😭

Ever since you brought it up, he’s been nothing but clingy. It’s hard to tell where you start and he ends from the way he’s hugging you so close it’s like he’s trying to fuse the two of you together. 

He wants to do it for you since you’re already sacrificing so much by being away from your home but-but that means that he has to spend a whole entire night without you! Don’t you know he can’t live without your goodnight kisses? And your good morning kisses? And your breakfast kisses and lunch kisses? And you’re just going to desert him like that? Abandon him and then deprive him of hours of kisses and cuddles that legally are his right to have? Starve him of his well-deserved affection and leave him when he needs you the most? Just tell him that you hate him, it would hurt less.

This boy is going to be facetiming you throughout his entire bachelor party - the rules of your world be damned. He’s going to be marrying you in less than 24 hours and he wants to spend every second of his excitement and pure elation with you. 

These boys are also the reason as to why you have to have people stationed outside your changing room like guards to make sure that the surprise of your wedding dress isn’t ruined because ‘they just had to see you’.

Needless to say, you are going to be spending the night together

But seriously he’s tried to follow you into the bathroom. Just tell him that it’s an old custom that no one abides by anymore before he breaks the door down.

Ace, Deuce, Cater (100% snapchats/live tweets his feelings of betrayal), Ruggie, Epel, Kalim, Azul, Floyd, Rook

You used your impeccable negotiation skills (puppy eyes) to reach a compromise. You’ll spend the night in Ortho’s room and the two of you will spend the entire night before your wedding playing video games using your matching couple headphones. Ortho will run interference until you leave the next day to get ready to make sure that you don’t end up seeing each other.

Or at least that was the plan until Idia woke up in the middle of the night to find his room devoid of the only lights in his life. Without even thinking, he leaves his bedroom and goes over to where you and his brother are and he gets into bed with you and cuddles you.

Listen normie, you’ve wormed your way into his heart so take some responsibility. If your world is right, then he’ll take the L. He’s used to doom and gloom so whatever bad luck happens can’t be worse than the life he had without you and it certainly isn’t worth even an hour without you by his side.

Idia

Are you kidding him, Herbivore?

First he has to go to some stupid bachelor party that his brother, Ruggie and Jack are throwing because no one would shut up about it when he could be sleeping with you and now you’re telling him that you want him to spend the night alone when he could be sleeping with you?

No. Absolutely not.

He doesn’t care if you think it’ll bring him bad luck or whatever. He’s not spending the night without you. In fact, he’s not even going to go to that blasted party. You and him can just spend the entire time napping in bed.

What? He has to go. Fine. They get one hour. Then, you're his. And if anything tries to get in the way of yours and his happiness, he’ll turn it to ash with his very claws.

Leona

Child of Man, he does not understand. You mean to tell him that in your world, a betrothed couple must spend the eve and morning of their nuptials apart lest a curse of bad luck shall befall them? He’s never heard of such a thing. Humans have such strange customs from where you’re from. You needn’t worry, however, as the future king and powerful mage, he is more than capable of handling whatever calamity that comes your way. A measly little curse is no match for a fae such as he. Therefore, there is no reason for you to deprive him of the warmth of your body for he shall always be there to soothe your fears. He has sworn to protect you and made an oath to you that no harm shall ever befall you.

For if anyone dares to prove him otherwise, he shall deal with them. 

Personally.

Malleus (it takes him a while to realise it’s not an actual curse since your world doesn’t even have magic to begin with but he still makes you wear enchanted jewellery on your person just in case - even though every piece of jewellery he had gifted you prior to that is chock full with protection charms and that’s not even counting the heaps of blessings he gave you) (It’s like that time you told him about the curse of ‘The Scottish Play’ all over again)

[mysicklove]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

DAY 19: PROSTATE MASSAGE

With: Nagi Seishiro

Word Count: 2.0k

Warnings: Sub! nagi, gn! reader, anal fingering, twitching, hand job, crying and drool

A/N: This is my first Kinktober fic i completed!!! lowkey hate it, and def need to make them shorter but...enjoy?

Nagi, for what it's worth, is a pillow prince. But of course, you could have assumed this a first glance. He doesn't expect much in bed and doesn't do much either. He liked receiving pleasure but didn’t like the tedious work to gain it.

But the arrangement worked out well for you guys. You love watching his pretty face contort from pleasure and the way he grips onto you with each upcoming orgasm. And besides, putting in the work was the fun of it all.

He has heard the lines, "Just sit there, and look pretty." so many times now that they seem now slightly turn him on. Whenever he hears them he prepares himself for unimaginable pleasure. To sit back, relax, and let you take care of him.

He also didn't mind trying new things; he was bolder than most and was easily persuaded with kisses down his neck. As long as he didn't have to do much, he was completely fine with it.

Today the two of you were trying a prostate massage.

You brought it up to him a couple of days earlier, and for the next couple of days, he watched an unfathomable amount of porn on it. He decided that he can lay on his stomach, and wouldn't have to do a thing. So the idea didn't sound too bad.

He has never tried anal play. It wasn't like he didn't want to, but it takes so much effort for the prepping and the cleaning. It seemed to be a bore, and besides he was content slumping against your chest as you jerked him off. So, this was a whole new world to him.

True to his word he lays on his stomach, clutching a little nervously at the sheets as his head lays on the pillow in front of you. You've lifted his hip so that he has to balance on his knees (he of course whined, not wanting to hold some of his weight). It gave you the perfect view of his ass and made it easier to plunge your fingers into him.

You sit cross-legged on the headboard with his legs on either side of you. In front of you is his ass, slightly trembling from what you could guess nerves. You rub at it, gently kneading the pale flesh. “It's alright, we are going to go slow Seish.”

You grab the lube when he slightly nods, gulping, but trusting you. Slowly, you drip some on your fingers and the rest on the actual source itself. He flinches at the coolness and you smile fondly at him, trying to hold back a coo from how cute he is.

You move slightly forward, and grab one of his cheeks, pulling it apart to give yourself a better view. When your eyes travel to hit the pink hole, you gulp and grab the other cheek to really show the whole thing.

He lets out a small whine at the movement and he buries his face into the pillow. "It's embarrassing."

You ignore him and release one to slightly drag your fingers across his hole. He slightly jumps and your eyes lighten. "Oh Seishiro you're so cute. I'm going to have so much fun with you."

He doesn’t say anything, but unconsciously he pushes his hips slightly backward at the praise. “I’m putting one in,” You say, trying to break the intense stare at his hole that was now clenching and unclenching around nothing.

He nods, and you slowly press your finger into the now slippery enterance. You stare as your finger slowly begins to disappear and take notice to how warm he is. It almost makes you shiver, and you have to hold back your teasing.

You continue forward as he continues to whine and gasp until you are knuckle deep. You feel around, and he jumps, moaning into the pillow beneath him.

Then you bring your other finger up, and begin to prod at the room next to you finger. "Just one more, yeah?"

"Mhmmm."

You take that as a yes and slightly push the next one in. His thighs twitch, and it's noticeably harder to press in. "So tight," You coo, using your other hand to gently slap his thigh in approval.

"S-Shut up. I've never done this before."

"I would hope so. I wouldn't want you presenting your ass for anyone else."

You force the finger in, and he keens, gripping the pillow. You giggle and continue forward, until like your other finger, buried completely inside him. "Alright let's try to find it." You mumble, curling your fingers inside him.

He cranes his neck to look back at you, his eyebrows slightly raised. “Find whaaaahhh!”

His eyes slightly roll back, and he bites onto the pillow at the sudden intense pleasure he has never felt before. “Well that was easy. We are trying to stimulate your prostate, remember? Don’t tell me you’re fucked dumb ready?”

Your fingers continue to curl and rub over the spot, and the poor boy is now leaking on the bedsheet. He tries to ignore it and instead focuses on the strange pleasure that rocks his entire body. “I-I knew that…Just is that it?”

In response, you press down on the gland, and his eyes widen. His legs collapse in on themselves, and you have to forcibly lift him back up. You watch with a grin at the way his legs tremble and struggle to stay put, twitching in front of you. “Think so. From the way you are reacting.”

His hips are pressed upward, and his back is arched all pretty for you as if this is what he was meant to do. But, he shakes his head in denial. "It f-feels weird."

He moans into the sheets and begins to slowly press back into your fingers, making you slightly giggle. “Weird? Or maybe good?”

“Don’t know!” His mouth is open, and he’s panting into the pillow, and with every drag of your fingers, he seems to forget how to breathe. Holding his breath as he tries to process the pleasure he has never felt before. 

You switch movements to sliding in and out of his hole. His body jerks at this, as he feels your fingers prod in full force at his prostate. More precum drips out of his cock, and he’s rocking back and forth, confused about what he wants. Was it too much or too little?

He seems to be withering under you, and it was adorable. You’ve never seen him like this. He was usually pretty composed. You’ve seen him drool and cry, but never have you seen his body move so sporadically from the intense pleasure.

He starts to cry, slightly scared of how much control this gland has over him. But he can’t seem to hate how his legs tremble and his fists clench unintentionally. It feels so good.  He wants more, even if it causes him to break.

The bed frame begins to creak from his frantic movements, and he starts to drool. Everything about this was so endearing. Usually, he laid limp against your chest while your stroke him off and only moved ever so slightly with his orgasm. This is what you wanted to see. Withering completely, eyes wide and confused on the intense pleasure. He was the prettiest like this.

"You’re so cute, Seishiro. Look at how active you are today!"

He lets out a small whimper and clutches harder onto the pillow. You've started to move your finger quicker, and he can't keep up with the ruthless pace. He was growing dizzy and confused. "Not trying to. My body keeps moving and I don't know why!"

Your eyes widen, and blood rushes to your crotch from his words. Your hand finds his cock, and as a reward, you begin stroking him off. “S-Shit,” He mumbles into the pillow when he hears the lewd squelching sound of your hand and his leaking cock.

His hips now rock forward into your hand, and then backward into your fingers. The twitching has stopped, and by now you’ve had to pick up his hips multiple times because he kept crumbling on himself. You couldn’t even tease him about it, you knew he was trying to not escape the pleasure. It was just making his legs weak and the thought sent your own head spinning.

“Do you want to cum from your ass Seishiro?” His cheek is now smushed into the pillow, tears and drool dripping down and onto the white pillow. His hands are interchanging between clenching and falling limp on the sheets. He doesn’t know what to do. He feels powerless under your hold.

“Wanna. Wanna,” He mumbles, as his hips begin to crumble again. His eyes are hazy, and he must have fallen deep into the subspace now. You don’t mind, but his legs continue to give out. You pick them back up before he collapses on the bed, sending a light smack to his ass in a teasing warning. The poor thing hisses but holds his ground on the bed even with the trembling of his legs.

He then slightly whines without the hand on his cock and you roll your eyes with a smile. Then, you add some more lube and continue your frantic movements. His back arches deeper, and moans fall with every breath. 

You hum, and continue your antics, silently laughing at how composed you are contrasting his twitching form. His mouth tries to form words, but he can’t because with every press of your finger, his mind goes blank.

You press a kiss to the smooth flesh, and mumble into it, “I want you to cum for me.”

His hands grip at the sheets and he gulps, feeling his orgasm build up. It’s different this time, it feels so much stronger, and he’s nervous about how he is going to react. But you are soothing him, kissing him, and cooing at him. If its too much, you’ll be there with him to coax him through it. You have to be.

He cums, harder than he has before. He was right, it was different, his whole body tightens and contracts. He can feel himself even tighten around your finger, and tries to ignore the way you hum in approval at the warm, hugging feeling.

His legs finally do collapse on himself, and this time you don’t bother to pull him up. He’s shaking, from the way his toes curl, to the tips of his fingers that grip onto the sheets above him. Tears pull at his eyes, and he has let out more cum than he is used to. The liquid stains the sheets and is trapped between his stomach and the bedding. 

He doesn’t speak. Instead, he silently screams into the pillow, and lets the tears drip down his face. His legs move forward and back, and his hands twitch. It was cute seeing how little control he has over his own body. And just from a couple of touches from his prostate? He was in heaven. 

He loves it. He loves it so much. How hasn’t he experienced an anal orgasm? He wants more of this.

He comes down from his high, and you smile at him. You lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek, hoping to help soothe him from how intense it was. He’s still gasping, when he finally comes down, and you pet his hair through it all.

You reach for the washcloth next to you, knowing the white-haired boy well enough by now. He was always done by the first round, and nothing could persuade him. 

But, much to your surprise, he grips at your wrists before you could grab at it. He looks at you, an unfamiliar lazy smile pulling at his lips. “Again?”

You grin, sending a harsh smack to his cheeks, which causes him to jump. “Glady.”

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[if-loves]

etude tableau op. 39 no. 6 (little red riding hood)

// Yandere Boothill

sum: The wolf wins.

wc: 2696

warnings: written before boothill release, boothill character story spoilers, fem! reader

a/n: i love cowboys

likes & reblogs are appreciated! asks are more than welcome ❤️

You’re good at hiding.

As a child, your favorite game to play was always hide-and-seek with your siblings, with you as a hider. You prided yourself on always being the last to be found, if they ever found you at all, but you were never the seeker; you never found the role as appealing, nor were you really any good at it.

You were a child when you decided that you always wanted to play hide-and-seek. Whenever you watched those cartoon shows of those silly characters running away from each other on the dingy television in your small house, you liked to imagine yourself in the shoes of the runner. The type stunts you’d pull off, the unique places where you’d hide, the strange disguises you’d put on to escape capture - that was your dream.

All children want to live their dreams, but not all of them get to. Many give up and leave, or worse, forget their dreams, leaving them to the past, while others cling on to them but are forced to part. There are few who are lucky enough to live their dreams, but the effort required is no small amount. No, you risked your life to be able to do what you loved most.

You started off as a thief, stealing candies from the local store. You liked those candies, but your family was far too poor to afford them regularly, making theft your only option. A child like you had no place at work.

The thefts grew bigger over the years, from small candies to necessities and finally to precious jewelry. You didn’t like that there were people out there who could afford everything they wanted and more, when there were people like your parents who had to work day and night to be able to even afford a home. This resentment grew, until it eventually morphed into a desire to be the greatest thief the universe had ever heard of. If you couldn’t and didn’t want to work, then you’d just steal!

One day you left, but not before leaving your parents and siblings the money you earned from exchanging precious goods. Staying in this world was not what you wanted, and you were going to get yourself free by any means necessary, even if that meant leaving everything you’ve ever known behind.

Before you left however, you picked out a red coat, bright as blood. You remember a story from your childhood, one your mother told you and your siblings when she finally wasn’t working. It was called Little Red Riding Hood, and it stuck with you. You enjoyed the cunning wolf, and you even found it particularly funny that he dressed up as her granny. It was unfathomable to you. Surely anyone would notice if their grandmother had become a big hairy wolf with sharp teeth, wouldn’t they?

Little Red Riding Hood's naivety was almost adorable. She was a child, so the blame was on the mother for the most part - who would allow their child, probably no more than ten years old, into the woods of all places, alone?

The ending of the story was a tad bit sad, but at the same time you admired how the wolf was smart about getting its meal. Thus, you wished to be cunning and sly like the wolf, but appear innocent like Red Riding Hood. It would also serve as a reminder of your home, and like the embrace of your family.

You had managed to sneak on to one of many ships heading for another world, sat in the peasant-class, blending in with the rest. When you arrived at the new world, your escapades started, and now you were happily on the list of the IPC’s most wanted criminals. Their incompetence in being seekers amused you greatly, for you always managed to slip right between their fingers as if you were air.

One day, you met a mysterious man on a planet you’d long forgotten the name of.

“You don’t look like yer from around ‘ere.” He says, a strong accent to his voice. His hair, a mix of black and white, caught your eyes, as well as the sharp teeth in his mouth. You wondered how much you could sell those for.

“Perhaps not.” You smile, pulling back your hood. “I am just a visitor.”

“‘s that so?” He holds out a hand for you to shake. “Then how do ya do, my lady?”

“Quite alright, thank you.” You shake his hand gently. “Could I have the honor of knowing your name, my good sir?”

“The name’s [???], nice to meet ya.” He tips his hat and sends you a wink.

“My name is (Y/n), good sir.” You put a hand on your heart and bow.

You get along well, for the time that you’re there. You’re more interested in what they have in store for you. Some diamond or gold, perhaps some rare ore? Or perhaps just a trinket you like, that you’d keep for yourself as a souvenir of this place. Something is bound to catch your eye, and maybe this man could lead you to where it is. After all, there’s no better guide than a local.

He shows you around sincerely, helping you ride his horse. The sunset is beautiful, and the sight of the people looking out for each other warms your heart. You have no intention of staying of course - like a hurricane, you may linger in one place for a little while, but you must always be moving. Getting caught by the IPC would be no fun, who knows what they’d do to you.

You’re almost sad to leave him behind. The last few days were spent with him touring you around the land he grew up in, introducing you to his adopted daughter, showing you secret places that you would’ve never found yourself. You like him, you really do; but you’re not a fool.

It’s late at night when you leave. You know he’s asleep by the soft snores you can hear from the room over, and his daughter is of course sound asleep at this time of the night. You wave them a silent goodbye, and as a souvenir for yourself, you take one of his bullets. Surely he wouldn’t notice such a tiny thing, not when he probably has hundreds of them.

You’re off to the next world by the time the sun rises once more.

~~~

It’s been many years since you met that cowboy, and it’s all water under the bridge. You’re not one to linger in the past, not when the present and the future stand in front of you, awaiting your next move.

The IPC are still hot on your tail, eager to put your misdeeds to rest, while you’re just as eager to keep playing with them. You only lament their incompetence as seekers. Hide-and-seek is no fun if the seeker doesn’t try.

You, however, have noticed someone else participating in this game between you and the IPC. They are no lackey of the IPC, because then they would obviously be using their signature gear and weapons and subordinates, but whoever they are, they are a lone wolf. They’re a far better seeker than those intergalactic disappointments, and you know you’ve almost been caught at least once. You can’t say you’re scared though, because you live for this thrill.

It’s in Penacony when you catch sight of your seeker. He dons a hat, heeled boots, a mechanical body and black and white hair. He is a familiar sight, but you couldn’t say who. There are countless people who exist in this universe, you’d never be able to remember all of them. As you plan your escape from Penacony, a cold hand catches your wrist.

“How do ya do, my lady?” You’ve heard those words before, once upon a time. A long, long time ago.

“Quite well, my good sir.” You reply the same, just as you always have. You know this man, yet you cannot remember his name. And his appearance… he has changed. He has changed greatly.

“Fancy seeing you ‘round these parts.” He smirks, and you see the jagged teeth that decorate his mouth.

“Would you do me the honor of your name?” You smile, subtly trying to twist your wrist out of his grip. His grip tightens.

“Poor ol’ me. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than when a man’s little lady doesn’t even remember him.” He chuckles, and forcefully pulls you close. “Darlin’, do ya swear ya don’t remember a man like me?”

“You’ll have to forgive me, for I am no follower of the Remembrance. Many memories of my encounters with others have been taken by the cruel hands of forgetfulness, and I am merely the victim who can do nothing but watch it happen.” You dip your head in mock regret.

“That bullet on yer belt says otherwise.” The mention of the bullet has you momentarily surprised. You never imagined he’d remember such an insignificant thing that you took on a whim, not when it looked like any other bullet in his arsenal.

“This was a gift from a friend.” You explain, your smile strained.

“Unless that friend is me, yer nothin’ but a cold-hearted liar, sweetheart.” His free hand reaches to the back of your neck, and with no warning, latches onto it like a parasite. “Could ya believe that? My darlin’ Red Riding Hood’s a liar!”

“Sir, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are. Is it possible that you’ve mistaken me for someone else? It would be great if you could let my hand go, and we could both be on our merry ways.” You try to plead with him, but from the look in his eyes, he’s not buying even a second of it.

“Nah, I’d never forget yer red hood. After all, yer Little Red Riding Hood, aren't cha?” He grins wolfishly, leaning down to your face. He eyes your lips, and for the first time in years, you feel an inkling of fear.

“Red coats like these aren’t uncommon, it’s a popular fashion trend nowadays.” You lie through your teeth, your free hand clutching the fabric of the coat. You try to lean away from him, but his grip on your neck doesn’t allow more than what he decides.

“That so?” He finally, finally, pulls away from you, and you feel relief like you’ve never felt before.

“Of course! I have no reason to lie to you, not when you’re obviously the stronger one between the two of us!” It’s not a lie. He has a mechanical body for the love of Aeons, he could obliterate you in seconds if he so wanted. You’re only alive because he hasn’t decided that you’d be worth the bullet.

“That’s something you're honest about!” He barks out a laugh, and you wince at the sound. There was something… inhuman, almost robot, about it. He laughs for a few moments too long, and you want nothing more than to leave, to hide again. Anywhere else was better than being with this man.

“Sir, I have a ship to catch. If you would excuse me…”

“Nah, not on my watch.” He is unrelenting in his insistence. You don’t even get the chance to attempt to leave before he’s dragging you off into a more secluded area of the hotel, where he’s sure there’s no prying eyes nor ears that would lay witness to his actions.

“I’m pretty sure this is illegal-”

“Good thing it ain’t then, eh?” He cuts you off in an instant. You furrow your eyebrows. You didn’t take someone like him to be well-versed in inter-astral law.

“How do you know it’s not-”

“‘Cause laws,” he starts, finally stopping when he deemed the area acceptable. He turned to face you, leaning down once more until you could feel every breath of his, and there was a glint of something in his remarkably human eyes. “Don’t apply to criminals like you, darlin’.”

“You’re falsely accusing me-”

“Nah, I know you like the back of my hand.” He grins once more, extending his hand as if this were your first meeting. “Nice ta meet’cha, Little Red Riding Hood. The name’s Boothill, yer number one fan, and yer beloved seeker.”

It was rare that you lost your composure, that you let yourself stand there dumbfounded and vulnerable. You’ve imagined meeting your mysterious seeker, the taunting words you’d exchanged. If they are to be as humorous as you are, then you’d have a fun banter; but if they’re as cold as the IPC, then it would just be you. Never in a million years did you imagine that it would turn out like this, him with the upper-hand, and you, the helpless prey.

“Nothin’ to say? C’mon now cutie, I didn’t waste my time chasin’ ya ‘round for ya to clam up on me.” He, or rather Boothill as you’ve come to know, finally frees your wrist from his grip only to move up to your chin, forcing you to stare at him. “That bullet on yer belt belongs to me. Ya know that don’t’cha, ya thief?”

It seems that all your wit has left your lips, and you’re now overtaken by silence. What could you say? He knows you. He remembers you. If you open your mouth, you’d only be digging your grave further.

“Don’t wanna speak? Fine. Then I guess that means yer mine now.” He shrugs and takes your wrist once more, the cool metal of his hand sending shivers down your spine. Suddenly, he laughs again, and you think it’s a horrible, screeching, sound. “Ha! Guess the wolf really does win!”

“B..Boothill,” you start, slowly, and his laughter ceases in an instant. His eyes lock on yours, as if daring you to speak further. “Please think this over. I know the IPC has a bounty out for me, but it’s not that big, not as much as what I’ve sold things for. I-if money is what you seek, then I’d be happy to split with you.”

“Ha? The IPC?” His face visibly sours at the mention of the corporation, and you fear that you’ve pissed him off. “Nah, I don’t want nothin’ to do with those cuties. They could die for all I care. ‘sides, I don’t need no money. A Galaxy Ranger can live without that. What I’m after is you, sweetcheeks.”

His face leans impossibly close, and you instinctively try to move away. He only leans in closer, until your lips are touching, and his sharp teeth bite down on the bottom of your lip.

“I’ll make sure yer never gonna forget me, doll. I’ll carve every inch of myself into yer heart, and that bullet will serve as yer reminder of what ya got yerself into.” Boothill smirks, and you can’t help but shrink under his eyes. There’s a wolf staring at you, ready for its next meal.

He closes the distance without giving you a second to react, and latches onto your mouth with his own. You struggle desperately against him, but you’re no match for a hunter, so you opt to keep your mouth sealed shut. Boothill doesn’t like that.

He bites down on your bottom lip without warning, drawing blood. Your mouth opens to yelp, but he swallows the sound. Like a man starving, he doesn’t give you a moment to breathe, and it isn’t until you’re starting to wheeze that he allows you to be free. Licking the saliva around his lips, he pridefully stares down at you as if you were a trophy.

“I like it when ya say my name, doll.” He coos, squishing your cheeks together, leaning down once more as if to continue his assault. “Say it again.”

You remain silent as an act of defiance.

“Don’t wanna? We’ll see for how long.” He releases your cheeks. They ache. Dragging you once more, he doesn’t turn to look at you when he says his next words, but you know the look on his face perfectly well. “I bet you’ll be sayin’ it like a prayer after tonight.”

His laughter is a horrible sound.

[haebi-nd]

FERRARI GETO SUGURU'S GF

POV: being f1 driver!geto's adored gf w/ moodboards & headcanons

a/n. i fear i know too little about geto's personality, and racing in general, to make fully developed headcanons with this au but when i saw this fanart by @aransmind i just had to. (they have more art as well and it's all amazing so check their acc out!) anyways, i hope you enjoy the few headcanons here that i've made + the moodboards which i'm far better at, thanks <3 also while i was researching.... "researching" i came across this amazing fic by @rorja that I've taken a little bit of inspo from—go check it out along with the fanart that inspired this all!

“INTRODUCING THIS SEASON'S HOTTEST DRIVER YET, GETO SUGURU”

f1 driver!geto who drives his pr manager up the wall because he's constantly retweeting, reblogging paparazzi photos taken of you as you sit in the audience tentatively watching him

+ especially the one they've got of you pretty crying after one of his earliest victories

f1 driver!geto whose fans always manage to find every single photo you guys have ever taken together and absolutely gush about how cute of a couple you guys make

f1 driver!geto who always ends up giving into your wishes for him to stay just a minute longer in each other's warmth before he's off for training

f1 driver!geto and gf!you who loves brainstorming strategies and plans together

f1 driver!geto who makes sure to credit your input on the cunning pit stop strategies or undercuts his team is known for pulling off

pretty ferrari boy geto whose love for racing, although passionate, could never even compare to the unfathomable amount of love he has for you and only you

© haebi-nd, haebi nice day

[dotthings]

Let me debunk a few more misinformation things about what Misha or Jensen say about Destiel. (Bolding some particularly relevant things I really want people to notice).

At Darklight Con Nov 8, 2020, Misha firmly said Cas's confession was about romantic feelings for Dean. (Notably, this is a European con, not CE in the US). Misinformation has sometimes been spread that Misha said Cas's confession wasn't romantic. Not true.

Misha then added that in his "interpretation" it was "unrequited" but continued on that "I'm speculating" and "I don't know what's in Dean's head. And Cas doesn't know." Misinformation has gotten around that Misha ever confirmed that Dean absolutely isn't in love with Cas back.

He then said the same things Jensen has said about supporting people's interpretations. They align on this viewpoint. (Antis don't want to listen, it's inconvenient for them).

He confirmed that Jensen was all in supporting Cas's confession scene. And that Jensen was told 3 months in advance. Since some have tried to claim it was sprung on Jensen at the last minute, a week before filming or something, and it was all an evol nefarious plot to lie to Jensen, trick him, and ambush him.

I mean, come tf on.

Jensen had three months to think about it.

And it's not only common practice on TV to have actors not know things too far in advance so their performances can be as spontaneous as possible, Jensen himself has said it's his own practice not to read ahead, so Dean's reactions can be as spontaneous as possible, and Jensen was in fact was given more than the usual amount of lead time about Cas's confession.

And was all in.

But especially interesting to me is how Jensen and Misha's comments mirror each other's take about the other's character.

Jensen and Misha have both told us they talked about Destiel.

Am I being clear enough here? They have talked about it. With each other. Often. They have an understanding among each other. (Yet antis seem to be in complete rampaging denial about this little fact).

And Jensen and Misha's takes often complement each other's, fit each other's on certain points, or even align via different styles and slightly different approaches and takes but actually boil down in essence to the same thing, plus both of them keep saying to fans...run with your interpretation.

It's like...both of them were trying to hand it to us, in any way they could manage, despite all those network shenanigans where it's not going to be acknowledge on any official SPN PR (like DVD set extras...and it seems like Misha kinda went, you know what if the network won't back press about this, I'll do it myself so he said things, here and there, to say what this was, dodging the CW sniper).

Misha's take: Cas has no idea what's in Dean's head and Cas doesn't know whether Dean is in love with him romantically the way Cas loves Dean or not. Jensen's take: in Dean's pov, because of Cas being an angel, assumption that his love is so cosmic and unfathomable no human can grasp it, so Dean has no clue as to the specific nature of those feelings for him. Mirroring!!!

(Side note...there's plenty of room here for an interpretation that Cas did know how loved he is at the moment The Empty took him. And I think that too...but that doesn't mean he knows Dean is romantically in love with him back, just that Dean loves him, period).

BTW, Jensen never said anything about how he played things wrt Dean's feelings for Cas, what he said was he never played Dean knowing Cas was in love with Dean (because Dean didn't know Cas was in love with him!!!!).

(And omfg I am so sick and tired of seeing Jensen misquoted about that, and it's never done with good faith motives, ever.)

It's about what Dean didn't know. It's about what Cas didn't know.

Which is the actual plot!! We watched!!! Dean and Cas not realizing the other one is in love with him is just so *chef's kiss* exactly miscommunication destihell. Was always part of the story, how many times did we talk about this ourselves?

Receipts below.

[lavenderprose]

Tbh the true Steddyhands dynamic is Stede's "I can fix him" versus Izzy's "I can make him worse" combining into a secret third thing which turns out to be "With our powers combined, we can make him and each other into the least dysfunctional version of the most dysfunctional relationship dynamic the world's ever seen." Which isn't saying a lot, seeing as Stede and Ed broke up three times in three(?) months and Izzy 'Chihuahua' Hands can't go ten whole minutes without shoving his own foot (toe) in his mouth in spectacular fashion. Would polyamory save them? Unclear. Would it make them so so unfathomably powerful vis a vis the potential to cause great amounts of chaos? Of course. And given they're pirates, this can be used to great effect and is, in the end, likely all Ed's ever wanted. Edward Teach wakes up in the morning and shifts the entropy of the universe by doing so and having two people follow in his wake who are A: Stupid in love with him I am talking just dumb and B: Horny for that kind of thing is just. Well it's not BETTER but it's sustainable.

[skythighs]

Calista's Dream: Blood on my Flesh

I don't own the art used per usual. It's all from Pinterest. So we all know Feyd is psychotic so this is me channeling that energy. Tbh I love a fine psychotic love interest that pushes the boundaries of love and toxicity.

Warnings: dub con/non con elements, uninformed voyeurism. 18+ only please 🙏🏽

Word count: 2.2k

Chapter 5

I was seated next to Feyd Rautha near the gluttonous Baron as he shoveled unfathomable amounts of food into his mouth. Feyd barely touched his food and sat stiffly in his chair. There were about twenty noble Harkonnen couples around the table. More than once, I caught the lecherous looks of the male counterparts, and it made my skin crawl. The Baron however couldn’t be bothered to socialize with them, for he was far too preoccupied with plates stacked so high they would surely topple to the floor. 

After dinner my husband disappeared and I was bathed meticulously by the nameless slave who used her body to shield me earlier. She washed my hair very gently, almost as if she was afraid of it, which made me smile. Once we were done I noticed there was a red mesh robe laid out on the bed. 

“We must prepare you for the consummation Na Baroness.”

“Oh, of course.”

She placed the robe over my shoulders helping me put my arms in each hole. I flinch slightly when I feel her move to drape something across my eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“Na Baron requested you wear this tonight.”

“A blindfold? Why?”

“I can not say.” She looked down at the floor like she did so often.

“What will happen once you blindfold me?” I ask hesitantly.

“I will lead you to the ceremony room, where Na Baron awaits you.”

I nod my head slowly agreeing to the terms. With the blindfold secured she grasps my hands and places them on her shoulders before moving slowly before me guiding me away from the quarters that had become familiar to me in this short time. 

The place beyond the doors was just as silent as earlier today when I explored them, and the walk seemed to take much longer than I anticipated.

“Are we almost there?”

“Yes, Na Baroness.”

I hear large doors creak open and I’m led into a warm room. Much warmer than the chilly empty corridors. She removes my hands from her shoulders and then moves away from me leaving me feeling vulnerable and insecure.

“Wife.” Feyd calls out to me from nearby. 

I feel him grip my waist and pull me towards him before I smack against his bare chest ungracefully.

“What’s going on I-”

“Shhh.” He leans down to my ear before continuing.

“Don’t remove the blindfold, no matter what you hear.”

Without another word he lifts me off the floor placing me on an elevated platform. There was a silky material beneath my body but not much give besides that.I rubbed my hand around me trying to get a grasp of my surroundings. Feyd Rauthas hands stroke against my breasts slowly making me seek out his lips blindly. Our lips briefly brush before he shoves me flat on my back seemingly agitated with my attempt. My lips quiver in fear, this level of disadvantage struck a chord inside my brain. Alarm bells were ringing and I try to sit up before his large hand pressing on my chest prevents it.

“Don’t.” He orders harshly. 

“Please let me up, I don’t like this. I can’t see anything.” I plead.

A low chuckle sounds from somewhere else in the room and I jerk my head toward the offending sound. Are there others in this room? Watching us? Horror drains the color from my face. I move my hands up to the blindfold quickly, but Feyd grips my hands and pins them above my head. I feel his lips brush my ear again before he speaks calmly to me.

“I said don’t remove it. No matter what you hear.” 

He squeezes my wrists to emphasize his words. As if to pacify me, he kisses me then. A slow exploring kiss that would have put me at ease any other time, but not now. My body is rigid as he continues kissing me, slowly licking into my mouth deeply. He squeezes my wrists again, silently ordering me to keep them there above my head. His giant hands slither down my frame, gripping and pinching as they travel. I feel each of his hands warp around my thigh and spread my legs as wide as they can go before he settles between them.

His large erection rubs against me suddenly, and he begins to pull the mesh robe up around my waist, not removing it from my form completely. He detaches his lips from mine before slowly moving down to suck on my nipple through the mesh material. A small sigh leaves my lips and he swirls his tongue around before moving to do the same to the other. All the while his erection rests against my heated entrance twitching occasionally. I slowly move my hands down. I want to explore his body as much as he explores mine, and he lets me. I feel him tense slightly at first but then he relaxes as I slowly stroke his muscled back up and down with both hands. 

He bites my nipple and I dig my nails into his back reflexively and he sighs quietly before claiming my lips again. My thighs naturally wrap around his waist as I feel my body become soft again. Forgotten was the misplaced chuckle from somewhere in the room. Right now all I could think about was him, the feel of him, the taste of him. It was all so overwhelming. He reaches between us letting his finger circle my clit bringing back memories of the night we shared together. 

My moan slips out, and he's there to capture it with his lips just like that night. His finger works quickly and deftly before his hand is absent and it’s been replaced with his manhood. He strokes it up and down my slit, letting it slip and slide against me. Earning a groan from the both of us, which prompts him to slowly enter me. I pull away from his lips to breathe slowly and more controlled, preparing myself for what was next.

He breaks me apart, sliding until balls deep in one long stroke, causing me to cry out. It hurts so much that tears are caught by the blindfold. They keep coming until eventually one leaks down my face. Feyd captures it with his tongue and then rests his forehead on mine.

“Such a good pet.” 

This earns laughter from various spots in the room around me. I tense then and cause myself unspeakable pain in the process. 

I whimper aloud and try to push him away from me, out of me, but he won’t budge.

“Don’t fight me Calista, it’ll only be worse.”

“Feyd stop please. Why am I blindfolded? Are we being watched-”

He captures my lips and kisses me harshly as if punishing me for asking questions. He pulls out of me before diving in brutally. Earning a shriek from me, but it doesn’t stop him. He does it over and over, and I find myself trying to scoot backward and away. The faceless voices around the room snicker at my attempt. Feyds grip on my waist stops my attempt to run before he flips me onto all fours and re enters me with a splintering stroke of his cock. He pushes my head down onto the silks below us and holds me exactly where he wants me. What can I do? What can I do? The fear settles into me and I start to cry burying my face into the silk.

“Remove her robe Na Baron. I want to see-”

A resounding hiss from Feyd silences any other attempts at speaking amongst the viewing crowd. Skin slapping skin is all that can be heard now as well as my quiet sniffles here and there. With his hips pistoning into me I bite my knuckles to prevent myself from sobbing. 

Feyd Rautha starts panting like an animal in heat, and I just want it to be over, so I move my hips back, meeting each thrust. His hand settles on my lower back, helping me meet him thrust for thrust, and he moans above me. I feel him lie his front against my back as if he can’t get enough of feeling me. It's as if he wants to absorb my soft skin and bones with his much more hard ones. It's as if he's trying to merge us into a single being.

 He groans into my ear before biting down on the back of my neck painfully as he releases his seed so deeply inside of me. He brushes against a tender spot, and I feel myself reach an unknown peak. I bite my knuckles even more, refusing to cry out in pleasure. Warmth paints my insides, and he keeps stroking until he hisses and shivers behind me. He grips a fist full of my hair, pulling me up with him, forcing his despicable lips onto mine. His arm was placed across me, covering my breasts. He removes himself from the platform before guiding me down as well. 

I try to stand but my legs give out beneath my weight which causes raucous laughter around the room.

“Feyd, what a lovely performance as always. You may go.” Baron Vladimir spoke clearly, no doubt wanting me to know he was present.

Feyd scoops me up into his arms before walking out of the too warm room. All I can do is rest my head against his shoulder and let him carry me out. I was in no state to protest, although I continued to cry silently. Once we reach his chambers he removes the blindfold from my eyes and carries me to the bathing area. He doesn’t speak to me or try to comfort me; he simply watches me as he lowers us both into the tub. The hot water stings my sensitive folds causing me to hiss at the contact. 

“You did well tonight.” He says with pride as he strokes my cheek softly reminiscent of the first time on Caladan. 

“Why?”

He doesn’t respond for a long time as he stares off into space, although he continues to stroke me.

“It had to be done.” He says with finality. 

He didn’t want to continue this conversation. That much was clear.

“Will we ever have to-”

“No. Never again.”

I look him in the eye and see the truth there.

The next morning I woke up alone in the large bed. My core felt battered and bruised and it hurt to move. The nameless slave appeared by my side looking concerned.

“Na Baroness, I’ve been ordered to keep you in bed today. Whatever you need I will provide.” She bows looking at the floor as if she’s ashamed.

“Did you know what would happen there last night?”

“Yes, but I was not permitted to tell you. Forgive me. The Baron demanded the old tradition be upheld, I heard Na Baron Feyd Rautha was not pleased when he received the news."

“It’s not your fault. I just- I don't quite understand any of this or why it happened, and I'm in so much pain."

I felt so hollow. Like a husk of a person. Had I really been reduced to this in such a short time? Was there no fight left in me?

"I have something here for the pain." She holds out a small white pill and a glass of water.

“Are you hungry Na Baroness? I can have the kitchens prepare something special for you.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

After eating and refreshing myself in the bathing chamber I climb back into bed and lounge.

“When will my chambers be ready for me to move into?”

“Na Baron informed the staff you would no longer be needing your own accommodations. You are to reside with him permanently.”

I couldn’t bother responding to her revelation, I was too exhausted. I felt too weak, and I found myself drifting into a slumber even though it was only mid day. I hear movement near me and feel the bed dip, causing me to readjust. I snuggled deeper into the pillow I hugged against my torso. I then felt slow, soft strokes in my hair, lulling me back to sleep.

When I awake the room is dark, but I can feel eyes on me. Watching my every move.

“You slept the day away, pet. Who knew pleasure would take so much out of you?”

Without turning over to look at him I shake my head.

“You’re mistaken, there was no pleasure, only pain.” My shoulders tense as I feel him adjust behind me.

“Is there a difference, wife?” He questions genuinely. Running his large palm down my back. I hug the pillow closer as if it could save me. His touch once excited me, but now I felt only fear. I could remember asking him to stop only to be ignored. I could hear the chuckles from the room and feel the vulnerability of being fucked in front of a crowd while blindfolded. Last night may haunt me forever. 

“Yes. There is.” I say firmly.

He hums contemplatively as if mulling over a brand new discovery. Perhaps for him pleasure and pain were one in the same but that was no excuse.

“I want my own chamber, Feyd Rautha.”

His hand moves from my back to my hair gripping it painfully forcing me to turn and face him. My lips quiver as I look him in his eyes. 

“No.” He bites out brushing his nose against my cheek staring into one eye.

“You said I need only speak my wishes and they would be granted. Was that a lie?”

His hand loosens half an inch as he watches me.

“Are you angry with me, pet? You wish to leave my bed?”

I close my eyes tightly, too afraid to look at him any longer as I speak.

“You hurt me last night and I don’t trust you anymore.”

He laughed a deep offensive laugh for a solid two minutes right in my face.

“Trust. Unfortunately, my innocent little pet Giedi Prime is deprived of trust."

He spits the last word bitterly.

"You will adapt."

Taglist: @mamawiggers1980 @drunkennunicornn @aoi-targaryen @lovereadingfanfic @avidreader73

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.5

Coke Paul is just so pretty

What is the switching glasses supposed to mean in the penny lane video? Any thoughts?

In this interview, Paul seconds John's “go on forever” comment from a few months ago. They really did so well when they were living together, didn't they?

Okay, let's look at the difference in Paul's trips. His first ever trip with Tara Browne and he's just concerned that his sleeves are dirty and just mildly looking through a book of pictures. VS with John? The “I know.” “I know.” The “emperor of the universe” thing? Raving about it to everyone who would listen? Having to leave multiple times because it was scary how tightly they were bonding?

Their songwriting partnership is beyond insane. It's superhuman, it really is. Their abilities, their connection. And Cyn and Terry just reading. Just completely nonplussed. This was very every-day, monotonous stuff for them. Unfathomable. 

That song will always get me, though. “what do I do when my love is away?” “Obviously move my best friend in to take her place and then write a timeless classic with him about how it.”

Astrid: At first I did wonder if the really cared about people's feelings and people's friendship. Maybe this doc's whole thesis is “John and Paul's love for each other was so big they didn't have room for any kind feeling toward anyone else.”

The Pepper photoshoot is insane to me. Like more insane than the David Bailey one. Change my mind. You can't.

John tells an interviewer, "Only now am I beginning to realize many of the things I should have known years ago. I'm getting to understand my own feelings." Were follow-up questions just not invented yet??!! What things have you just learned, John? What feelings?

Never forget Linda took these. She must've been somewhat aware of how annoying this man was going to be about John from the start. And she still went after him. That's how good his . . . Nevermind.

"a decisive moment in the history of Western civilization" Well done, babies. 

I love smug Paul in general, and I especially love when he's smug about John. That “me and the badass bitch I pulled by being autistic” look. But literally. 

Gosh the Greece trip looks so beautiful. Idyllic. Paradisiacal. All of the beautiful people are just so blissful and in love. Sigh. (Every time I tried to take a screenshot of it it was too awful. Peter Jackson should clean it up.)

What are everyone's thoughts about the cause of Brian's death? I really liked what Vivek Tiwary said on AKOM. He knew he was taking a dangerous amount of drugs and he was depressed. But he wouldn't have just left so suddenly without leaving a will or setting things in order for the Beatles business. Anyway, no matter the cause, his death is the beginning of the end for the Beatles.  

All those quotes and pictures about the “intensity” between Paul and Brian are fascinating. “Obviously adored” “overcompensate” “little worries” What does it all mean? Was Brian in love with Paul in the end like he had been in love with John in the beginning? Or did he just feel bad because he knew it was unfair to Paul how in love he was with John? 

Wait, Brian was hospitalized for s*icide attempts in 66? Really? Confirmed? I knew he was in the hospital, but didn't know it was due to s*icide. 

Paul's hand at the small of John's back here, helping him onto the bus. It's so tender, so customary. They took such good care of each other.

Interviewer talking about MMT: If I can't see it in color, I'm going to send it back. ... :/

They're directing something and as Paul starts to walk away, so does John. But not because he wants to. He's looking around almost frantically. He has no choice in the matter. Only one person gets to control their legs at a time, and right now it's Paul's turn. 

Look how fucking ecstatic he is. I guarantee John isn't saying anything that monumental but look at those eyes. He's done for. Gone.

Interviewer: just get a tape recorder and you and Paul and the others just start gabbing. John: well, we've got a lot of that lying around the house, actually. Me: First of all “the house?” “the house?” Just casual. Like “our house” Like it's just common knowledge that they've been married and living together since they were fifteen. Second of all, give us the tapes already!! Who has them? Paul? 

All of these quotes from the Hunter Davies biography are just so normal. They're all so normal. It's fine. I'm fine. And here's my tin hat coming on again (and yeah I believe John loved George and Ringo immensely) but I think sometimes in these quotes, when John and Cyn are saying "the Beatles" they kind of mean "Paul . . . And George and Ringo". John himself actually says as much in the seventies, that when he says "the Beatles" he might just mean Paul, or just him and Paul. And there are countless times when Paul or John will start out saying "the others" and end up using just one name in a sentence. Idk this doc makes me such a truther I swear I'm not always this crazy.

And John's self soothing, reassuring refrain playing over all of it, “nothing's gonna change my world.” Right after Paul and Jane get engaged? Someone stab me in the heart, it would hurt less. And this is just the anticipation of the next part. Can I even handle part two?

Have some happy screenshots to bolster us.

[theangelwithawand]

So, as much as I love charming, swaggering Han Solo, the guy is kind of awkward.

At first I thought it was an issue with his characterization in ROTJ where they made him a little too buffoonish for lack of a better word, and in Solo where they leaned a little bit too hard into Han being inexperienced and naive.

Don’t get me wrong, when it matters, the man is suave and dangerous and charismatic, and I love it.

But I was rewatching ANH the other day and I realized that at least when it comes to his personal relationships (except for Chewie) Han is kind of insecure and inept at forming meaningful relationships. To be fair, it makes sense given his backstory (in both Legends and Canon) and seedy profession. But legendary scoundrel Han is not at all slick when it comes to genuine interaction.

His initial introduction in the cantina as a ruthless survivor and his cocky dealings with Jabba tend to be the bulk of what people remember about his character, and for good reason. But there’s also captivating glimpses into a Han Solo who is more human than he probably wants anyone to see.

When Ben trains Luke, Han won’t stop insulting them both, but underneath all of the posturing, he does genuinely try to offer up real advice (that a good blaster is more reliable than an antiquated weapon). Then later, before abandoning Yavin, he doesn’t want to part on bad terms with Luke so, he chokes out a parting phrase that means something to Luke, tamping down his discomfort which is visible to the point that it’s kind of funny.

The first movie largely neglects his lack of social skills in regards to Leia (they do snap at each other, but that’s more to do with their clashing personalities than anything). He winks at her at the end, but Han is good at surface level flirting.

But then we get to Empire…strap in folks.

So, their first interaction takes place in the command center on Hoth, and Han is threatened to leave. And boy oh boy does Han really want/need Leia (and Leia in particular) to say she wants/needs him.

She has her own (very understandable) issues with opening up, so the closest she can get to admitting her own feelings is saying that the Alliance needs him. Leia may see herself as an extension of the Alliance, but that’s a different conversation and not enough for Han who needs to be sure of her feelings before making his own known. (Leia seems to have the same problem. They kinda suck at communicating sometimes.)

He asks her, very subtly pleads with her to open up, to reciprocate the bit of vulnerability he’s showing. She understandably doesn’t (again she has an unfathomable amount of her own trauma), cueing a fight at and Han goes back to the Falcon to be Totally-Not-Sad. Despite the fight though, he risks his life to make sure Leia gets out during the evacuation. (Gotta love how well he knows her.)

Then we get the big kiss scene. This time, Han has decided to acknowledge Leia’s insecurities because he wants to be with her. He specifically asks her “What are you afraid of?” Yeah, he’s kind of teasing her, but he knows Leia freakin Organa is not afraid of getting her hands dirty. It’s such a lame excuse, so he calls her out on it.

Then, all of the sudden, they’re finally together and Leia is just all in (see my post about Leia’s physically affectionate nature). And…Han adjusts. By the time they arrive on Bespin, he’s the one initiating hand holding, giving forehead kisses.

It’s a way more intimate than he would afford a casual hook-up. His scrapped intro in ANH (which was incorporated into the novelization by Alexandra Bracken), literally had him forget the name of the girl on his lap.

He’s still insecure when Lando starts flirting, but above all he’s in a relationship that is so casually affectionate. It’s a part of him we’ve never seen, but it suits him well.

Then we get to the big “I love you/ I know”.

In the original script, Han was supposed to say “I love you too.” Everyone thought it was a very out of character thing for him to say. The now iconic response was created during the shooting of that scene. I agree…to a point.

Now, I love the line. It’s iconic and great and very Han Solo. Yes it’s a smooth response…but it’s also…a really weird response…

Yeah, there’s a lot of people and to be fair, he just told Chewie to take care of Leia (which is very sweet), and once again probably still has some issues expressing vulnerability.

But…he also might die, so it’s weird that he wouldn’t tell her while he still can.

The pattern continues in ROTJ. Han is a bit out of character in this one, however I do like the moment where he’s referred to as a general. It’s usually read as him proving his commitment, and I agree. But I still think it’s funny that he decided to make it a surprise. It’s so cute and weird and very Han Solo.

He’s protective when Leia goes missing after the bike chase, and when they’re reunited picks her up and spins her adorably.

He’s still not super sure how to provide comfort all of the time (there’s a few times where Leia seeks his embrace, and he seems visibly unsure of what he’s doing). During the battle he’s always reaching out to shield her, hide her when she’s injured. Then he just holds her after the battle. The way she asked him to earlier, with a small but very genuine smile.

Finally, we arrive at “The Princess and the Scoundrel” where Han Solo does the GFFA equivalent of proposing on the first date. (For real, this book is one my favorite things. It canonized so many of my head canons like a very casual proposal). It’s perfect for its balance of being both weird and romantic.

Anyway, I like Han’s soft side and I don’t see it discussed enough.

[doorhine]

I think the show does a really good job at validating and empathizing with Akemi’s concerns as a woman living under a patriarchy while also acknowledging her privileges, not just as a wealthy person, but as a literal princess. There’s a lot to be said about Akemi’s dynamic with Madame Kaji and the other sex workers but right now I’m focusing on her and Mizu as two main characters whose experiences as women contrast each other the most. I specifically want to talk about the end of episode 5 because it’s a culmination of so many things.

*SPOILERS BELOW

Mizu obviously isn’t there to personally see the misogyny Akemi experiences so from her perspective, she has no real reason to empathize with her running away. Mizu also just has her own priorities with her revenge quest. But even with the lack of context or understanding of Akemi’s situation, Mizu and the other sex workers' judgment of Akemi isn’t unfounded because she has real privilege over them. As a princess, she has an unfathomable amount of wealth that lets her live a life of comfort and luxury so far removed from other people’s experiences to the point where, Akemi herself states that being rich like that makes you forget that you’re rich. And while Akemi is clearly shown to utilize the skills sets she does have to her advantage when she runs away, it’s not an insult to her intelligence to acknowledge that getting as far as Madame Kaji’s establishment was also the result of luck because there’s so many ways that things could’ve gone wrong on the way there. 

So for Mizu to encounter Akemi

A princess who ran away from all that luxury for the sake of a failed marriage with a guy who bullied/hate crimed Mizu as a child and wants to duel and kill her for his honor/social status in the present (when social climbing was never truly possible for Mizu even when disguised as a man and because we know how her marriage ended)

A princess who tried to kill her and says she only regrets not doing it immediately 

A princess who calls her a monster just like everyone else 

A princess who has no idea Mizu’s even a woman or all the experiences that got her to this point, including the assassination of Kinuyo (who didn’t want to die) at Madam Kaji’s request because women have to be practical and think of the results (not how they get there) when it comes to revenge 

A princess who may have fought to help defend Madame Kaji and her girls but then expected a mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted Mizu (suffering from multiple puncture wounds after doing the majority of the killing/defending) to fight Akemi’s own guards like a personal attack dog when doing so would’ve more than likely killed her and Ringo while Akemi still lived and got taken back home…. *takes a deep breath*

It’s totally understandable why Mizu just lets them take Akemi. 

On Akemi’s part, she doesn’t know the context around why Mizu is the way that she is but at the end of the episode assumes that she’s not capable of love when they’ve only known each other for… not even a day and half technically speaking. Meanwhile Mizu’s assessment of Akemi’s privilege is still accurate in certain ways despite her lack of context that makes Akemi empathetic to us as the audience. Also, not that Mizu sees this happen, Akemi is able to maneuver her way around the shogun’s court and her new husband while also uplifting and hiring Madame Kaji and her girls to both their benefit. A path she chooses to continue taking at the end of the season. It’s still within the confines of the patriarchy and not without its challenges, but Akemi is taking advantage of the privileges she does have when she previously took them for granted. 

Both Mizu and Akemi are just so nuanced and well written and this scene is a perfect example of how and why they clash due to such drastically different lives shaped by their social status. I’m curious to see how their journeys will go from here and what circumstances reunite them (for better or worse) given where they left off with each other during the season finale.

[shalomniscient]

ARCHIVE ENTRY #4: AMATORY

"An Aeon that presides over the Path of Adoration. Known by THEIR devotees as the Pandemos, or 'one who is common to all people', they are the personification of 'love', having ascended an unfathomable amount of time ago after realizing the 'truth' of life." - Loading Screen: Amatory

◆ Name: Amatory ◆ Title: Aeon of Adoration, The Lover ◆ Path: The Adoration

Amatory is a fanmade Aeon in Honkai: Star Rail, representing the Path of Adoration. THEY are known to be among the kinder Aeons, and by virtue of the broadness of THEIR path, often has a hand in the dealings of mortals. It is rumored that THEY even walk amongst mortals at times, and was once a key figure on the Astral Express until Akivili's untimely disappearance.

◆ Appearance Amatory often appears in the form of a feminine human, with iridescent skin and long, pink hair. THEY are dressed in a loose, white robes resembling an ancient Greek chiton, the hem lined blue with doves embroidered in gold thread. THEY wear a crown of gold laurels as well as various pieces of golden jewellery, including earrings and a necklace. THEY sit upon a seashell throne, and in THEIR lap is THEIR familiar, Peristera, the drake-dove.

◆ History -> Ascension An unknowable amount of time ago, a (suspected) human on the planet of Agora ascended to Aeonhood and became the Aeon of Adoration, after realizing the 'truth' of life.

-> Swarm Disaster The range of Amatory's influence is unknown during the Swarm Disaster, though it is noted that Peristera the drake-dove fiercely and successfully defended Agora from attacks from the Swarm. It is assumed THEY watched, alongside Xipe and Aha, as Qlipoth stripped Tayzzyronth's power and sealed the other Aeon.

-> Present Amatory is noted to be active in the current time, hiding their divine form to walk amongst mortals. This information has been confirmed by the Aspects of Adoration, as the Sanctuary of Kitheryia remains empty.

◆ Followers & Factions -> Agora, Planet of Doves Agora is the birth planet of Amatory, and the foremost seat of THEIR following. The planet is known for its romantic, dreamy atmosphere, with permanently pink-hued skies thanks to a specific concentration of minerals in the atmosphere and the angle of Agora to its sun. Agora is also known for it's stunning beaches, which are also popular pilgrim destinations due to the belief that Amatory gained THEIR enlightenment whilst standing on the shore of one of Agora's beaches, part of THEIR body submerged in the sea-foam. Agora is blessed with mild weather across the planet, thanks to the direct influence of its Aeon.

Temples to Amatory are scattered across the planet, tended to by Devotees. The largest temple complex, the Amatopolis, is also the name of the planet's capital city. Amatopolis is the residence of the Aspects, and the location of other universally famous sites, such as the Museum of Peristera, The Sanctuary of Kitheryia and the Akropoils to Akivili.

-> Devotees of Adoration The Devotees of Adoration are the primary followers of Amatory, and are found in the largest numbers on Agora, although they are also well distributed across the universe. The Devotees can choose to be active participants upon the Path, tending to Amatory's shrines and temples, or they can choose to be passive participants simply by loving and being loved. To Amatory, loving is quite the same as worshiping.

-> Aspects of Adoration The Aspects of Adoration are Amatory's six chosen Emanators. They are chosen by the Aeon as role models, in a sense, to each specific branch of 'love'. Hence, the six Aspects are Agape, Eros, Philia, Storge, Philautia, and Xenia. Each Aspect has their own hall within the Amatopolis, branching off from the temple's main hall which leads to the Sanctuary of Kitheryia. The Aspects are functionally Amatory's high priests and priestesses, and offer advice on behalf of the Aeon to pilgrims and devotees who visit the temple.

-> The Dove Poets Society Contrary to its name, the Dove Poets Society does not solely consist of poets. Instead, the Society is open to all manner of creatives, including artists, writers, sculptors and many others. Joining the Society is not too dissimilar to joining the Genius Society; to do so, one must draw the gaze of Amatory THEMSELF. Creatives who use love or themes of love as their muse are blessed with a dove-feather pin, and are later cordially invited to Agora by administrative devotees. They are then given free lifelong board and housing, subsidized by the Devotees, and are allowed to pursue their art without worry.

As a result of this, many famous and popular works have been produced by the Society. They can all be found within the Museum of Peristera, making the museum a must-visit for those interested in the arts.

-> Peristera, the Drake-Dove Said to be the beloved companion of Amatory, Peristera is a legendary, almost divine beast blessed by the Aeon THEMSELF, and tasked with eternally protecting Agora. The drake-dove resides within the Sanctuary of Kytheryia, ever-slumbering until danger rouses it, or its master returns from THEIR journeys. Several proposals were made by the Intelligentsia Guild to access the Sanctuary and collect biological samples from Peristera; all these proposals were promptly rejected by the Aspects, citing the sanctity of the Sanctuary as Amatory's home, not to be entered by mortal bodies unless invited by the Aeon THEMSELF.

Although Peristera's awakenings usually herald danger, it is often followed by a frenzied scramble by Devotees eager to get their hands on some of the drake-dove's fallen feathers. Much like Qlipoth's Divine Amber, Peristera's feathers are sacred items to the Devotees and followers of Amatory. However, these feathers fade over time, and as a result are often cast in gold and made into jewellery such as bracelets, anklets, armbands, crowns or earrings to preserve them. They are said to bring love to the life of the wearer, hence their popularity.

Developer Notes:

I'm worldbuilding out here like I'm a part of the HSR Writing Team LMAO this OC isn't even playable but I feel like I've fleshed them out the most out of all my OCs lsdfhjsdlfjsdjlf. But frankly I'm surprised and Aeon of something like love doesn't exist, given how (not to get too into philosophy) central it is to humanity or arguably consciousness in general.

Obviously, Amatory is heavily inspired by Aphrodite, as referenced by both their sacred animals being the dove, and their ascension occurring while they were submerged in sea-foam, similar to how Aphrodite is said to have been born from sea-foam, in certain mythological accounts. And the whole love thing. -> You could argue that the Paths of Harmony and Adoration could collide, and honestly, I too can see it happening. Though I would counter and say 'love' is less clear-cut lawful than Harmony; if we're sticking by the Ancient Greek themes, we look no further than the story of Troy, or the response of Demeter to Persephone's abduction. This could turn into a whole back and forth, but truthfully, I'm just here to fuck around and play with HSR's worldbuilding so I'm not going to get into too much discourse about it LMAO. These are MY delusions and I call the shots 😌😌😌

Agora as a planet and culture is heavily based on Ancient Greece. I felt inspired after running around in AC: Odyssey's discovery mode. Say what you will about the game, but as an open-world exploration enjoyer it is SUCH a treat.

Peristera is named after the eponymous nymph who was transformed into a dove by Aphrodite and made her sacred animal. Although Amatory's Peristera is also a dragon, because I'm a sucker for dragons. Appearance wise, it looks a lot like Cinderella from Burn the Witch [image below].

Making a neka for Amatory was hard as fuck, mainly because they end up looking too human and normal and not as godly as I'd like, but I guess they can get a pass because Nanook looks pretty normal too.

Neka of Amatory, as close as to what I can envision in my brain:

neka link: https://www.neka.cc/composer/11939

[bunnakit]

◄ 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 ►

starting soon

ot8 polycule

from the moment the metal spheres entered the sky mankind began to lose its luster; ambitions halted, emotions became a distant memory, and survival was the only thing left on anyone's mind. little fires of rebellion rose here and there only to be snuffed out as quickly as they had come. resistance became compliance and the human race drifted through the years without any further inklings of freedom.

{continued beneath read more, with character teasers}

change was never instant, instead it seeped slowly like a leaky tap. with each drop a new one appeared - a person with hopes, dreams, passion, desire. you could always find them by the sparkle in their eyes where their soul reflected outward. a leak became a trickle and those with the spark for life flocked together to stoke the embers again.

eight particular men found themselves drawn to the flames almost by an invisible tether (or a noose.) they were special for more than just their lust for freedom, each of them touched with abilities almost beyond belief if each of them hadn't witnessed it themselves. hope brought them together, ambition drove them forward, and care kept them close. they were a unit, eight broken pieces coming together to form a mosaic of love, devotion, and a promise of a better future.

this is how eight men promised to reclaim humanity and learned the truth of love and mankind along the way.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 ►

hongjoong could barely remember a time before the other seven were part of his life and frankly, he didn't want to. he remembers shying away at every touch, closing his eyes tight against an onslaught of thoughts that weren't his own, and pulling in ragged breaths until the buzzing pain stopped and the nausea settled. there was always a mark left behind, mottled red and blue against the canvas of his skin.

he'd nearly lashed out the first time one of them touched him, hwa reaching out a gentle hand to check a wound. he had meant to growl but instead he had whimpered like an injured dog, unable to lash out at one of the few people he truly cared for. to his surprise the touch was gentle and the thoughts that flowed alongside his own were quiet, soothing, and welcome.

with time, he came in contact with the others and experienced the same; no painful touch, no mark left behind, and no deafening thoughts that threatened to bring him to his knees. to call it fate felt far too convenient but any answers were not forthcoming.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐫 ►

he knew he was known as something of figurehead among the rebellion and seonghwa did not care to stop the rumors. if he was the face the people needed to follow he was happy to fill that role for them, happy to tend to the flock of free thinkers overwhelmed by the 'new' world around them now that their eyes were open. as much as he wished to take away their confusion and pain there were some ailments even he could not heal

it was something he'd had to come to terms with quickly after meeting the other seven. as badly as he had wanted, he could not mend all of their hurt and one haunted him day in and day out. his eyes followed broad shoulders, traced over a dimpled smile, soaked in the sight of his most formidable and yet most delicate lover

he only wished someone could heal away his own worry.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐜 ►

the amount of comfort yunho found around the other seven was almost unfathomable. he had always felt othered for his abilities, strange in a way no one understood, and then one day he met seven other men that could see him in a way he'd never expected. they didn't mock his fear of heights, the way he woke up with a jolt almost every night, nor did they ask him for an explanation. they simply held him close, knowing smiles on their faces as they sheltered both him and themselves from their inner demons.

he loved them, deeply and intensely, and for once he was all too happy to utilize his ability to keep them safe. he wasn't strong like san, couldn't read minds like hongjoong, and he wasn't a healer like hwa. what he could do, however, was move the world around him.

pebbles became bullets, metal sheets became shields, glass shards became lethal arrows. the violence would have bothered him once but he found he no longer cared when it came to protecting his sanctuary, for each of them was a brick that formed his home.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞 ►

he knew he should listen to hwa's cautionary words but it was nothing he hadn't heard before. it was a dance they performed routinely; he hurt himself, flayed himself open for the greater good, and seonghwa pieced him back together again.

he remembered a late night spent together, freshly bandaged and with hwa holding him close, pressing a kiss to his birthmark before asking, "can you even feel it?"

he hadn't meant to make him cry with his response but he had never been a liar. "the pain? not anymore."

it was hard to feel pain the same way as others when it was so intrinsically part of you. he was built for it after all, born to endure and redirect. he sank a knife into his own gut only to watch a member of the imperial watch sink to his knees across from him, free of any blood or wound and yet still writhing in an agony yeosang only felt somewhere in his periphery.

the others hated it, hated watching the lengths he would go to to secure a victory and often worried that one day he would go too far. he would argue that there was no such thing when it came to his family.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 ►

the first time his chest felt as if it was collapsing on itself he was alone, muscles straining as he moved a concrete slab aside to crawl through the doorway of what would make the perfect hideout. he'd collapsed just inside the threshold, hand clutching over his heart and eyes shut tight in pain. he still didn't know if the tears that slid down his face had been from pain or sorrow. if he died there he would have died alone; no one to ever remember he had existed. somehow he'd survived to pull in slow, measured breaths, though the fear of another attack lingered.

the second time his chest felt as if it was collapsing on itself was when five gazes turned towards him, cautious but deep. san felt like he was drowning but he found he didn't mind dying here, not with such bright eyes to witness him, to remember he had lived.

he doesn't tell them even after five becomes seven. he doesn't want them to worry. he pretends not to hear seonghwa crying himself to sleep beside him some nights.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐫 ►

mingi was the eighth, slotting in to complete the puzzle. he'd come to them with relief on his face, head tilted to the sky and eyelids fluttering closed.

"finally, i found you."

he'd seen them for as long as he could remember; seven men with hearts of gold, eyes full of love, and a thirst for life he felt mirrored in his own chest. he'd learned early on not to mention them, only ever met with either firm denials or total dismissal. he tucked them in his heart like a secret, vowing to find them as soon as he built up enough supplies and enough life experience to survive the journey.

he knew they would change his life, had seen it nearly every night when he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. he couldn't wait to see where they led him.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨 ►

wooyoung had always been too much; too loud, too excitable, too full of all these emotions he couldn't put words to for the longest time. it only made sense that his power burned as brightly and felt as destructive as he felt sometimes. he felt like he destroyed everything he touched, every connection burned away with apathy or outright scorn. he wished loneliness didn't sit in his chest like a stone, wished he could sit alone with his thoughts instead of run from them.

restlessness drove him to travel, aimless and desperate to find someone, anyone that understood. at least he never spent his nights cold, though the flames were never as comforting as he imagined another person's warmth to be. he never imagined he'd find himself cradled between seven others, warm and safe and loved with an incandescence that rivaled his own fire.

◄ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 ►

paranoia and caution were a slippery slope, jongho knew, but it was a tightrope he couldn't stop walking. the feeling of being watched itched at his skin constantly, prickled the back of his neck and clenched the pit of his gut. he knew he'd wandered into someone's territory, knew they were keeping a close eye on him. he just wanted somewhere to exist, somewhere to hide away alone and secure.

curiosity eventually got the best of him, the sounds of life drawing him in like a siren's song. he knew it was dangerous, knew he was putting himself at risk, and yet he couldn't help but peer beyond the walls that separated him from them. four glowing masses illuminated his vision, seemingly talking amongst themselves before turning in his direction. his breath caught, vision fading to sightless black as he staggered backwards and stumbled against a half-broken wall.

he swallowed the spit gathering in his mouth, certain he would die here for his hubris. he never expected the gentle hands that cradled his elbows and deep, warm voice that instantly relaxed his shoulders.

"it's okay. you're okay." and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to believe those words for once in his life.

🌸 if you've read this far i'm kissing you on the forehead, please feel free to jump in my ask and tell me all your thoughts. i'm SO excited to work on this fic, i'm already so in love with these boys and this world.

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

John Price x Reader

Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Romance, Sweet Moments, Crying, Apologies, People being in-love, light existential stuff, falling in love

Word Count: 3k

I hope this doesn't suck... I wanted this to feel concluded in a satisfying way, but alas, I don't write real endings often. So... I hope this is OK?🤷🏽‍♀️ I liked it.🥹 Please Enjoy~

Part One | Two

Masterlist

The sun had already set by the time everyone left Price's hospital room. The place fell into a heavy silence once emptied out, only left undone by the rhythmic beating of his heart monitor and the city ambiance from outside his window. It's the first time he's had the room to himself since waking up this morning, and yet still so much remained to be unpacked.

The doctors informed Price he'd been in a medically induced coma for almost a week since being brought in. Of course, he had no memory of this.

The last thing that really comes to mind, between this morning and that night before, are you and Nikolai helping him into a vehicle, the world around him as shifting and black as when he'd entered it.

You held him in your arms in the backseat the entire way home, cradling his head in your lap as though he were a newborn infant. Price could still pinpoint where it was your hands caressed him, soothing away all of the night's qualms. He had been too tired to speak, as had you. But the warmth you blanketed over him had lulled him into a dreamless slumber, only filled by your former phantoms and memories left deep in his own subconscious.

You had been the last thing on his mind that night, and the first name to leave his mouth upon waking.

"Where is she?" He demanded. "Is she alright?"

Though it took more convincing than they would have liked, the nurses were able to relieve his worries. You'd only left two days prior to him waking. Though your injuries had been no laughing matter, the severity of them had not been nearly at the same scope as Price's. Once your wounds had been treated and the doctors could deduct that your condition has not been critical, you'd been cleared to go.

The same could not be said about the Captain.

They told him he was lucky to had survived. Even with being able to get him to help, the amount of blood he'd lost during his escape had been unfathomable; and that's not even accounting for the other injuries he'd been ignoring. After going lights out, many of the nurses didn't actually think he'd pull through. And judging from the lousy state his body had still been in, Price knew he would feel this for the rest of his life, no doubt.

But as always, in some way or another, his stubborn soul persisted. So long as he could still move, think, and act, he would press on.

Price settled back into his bed with a heavy sigh, before the rough tubing in his nose and throat created an uncomfortable itch he needed to cough out. He brings his coughing to a low-throat clear when he felt the pain shoot in his rib at each sharp exhale, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. No doubt, he'll be bedridden for longer than he was hoping.

They've dimmed the lights in the room in case he decides to pass out. Though frankly, he felt he's had enough sleep. While Price would much rather prefer anything other than the sterile white walls of this hospital room to gaze at, it was better than sleeping.

His blue eyes scan the room, pausing on the flowers Laswell and Gaz brought in moments ago. The white and yellow roses and daisies sit like decorated props on the nightstand beside him, sitting beside a growing pile of "Get Well Soon" cards he had yet to browse through.

He wanted to read them; it warmed his heart just knowing the others had cared so much for his wellbeing. Though anytime he reached for them, he felt this knot start to form in his throat, taking the curiosity away from him. What's written can best be digested in the solitude of his own home, he's soon decided.

To the right of Price had been a window; he hadn't taken much joy in looking out of it. It had a view of the hospital courtyard, where most of the building's budget went into its garden. A despairing sight seeing all the faces that passed by, all miserable and lost in their own minds.

One man, in particular, had made Price decide that window watching wouldn't be for him. A patient being escorted by two nurses. The man looked as though he could not function alone, shaking and wobbling and relying on their guiding hands. Just seconds away from their own mortality. Just as Price had been.

What made dying in such a slow way -- alone and no longer having any true agency over one's self -- so much more terrifying than any near-death experience that came across him in his line of work? Looking down there, Price found himself questioning so now more than ever.

It creeps closer to the Captain with every brush with death he has still somehow managed to evade. Only the death he truly feared, he stood no real fighting chance from.

So his eyes instead tarried to the birds that glided by from time to time, matching with the planes which roared alongside them. Seeing them go only reminded Price that he was in here.

If he stayed in this hospital room any longer, he might go mad.

The door to his room clicks open. When Price looks over and finds you standing in the doorway, his heart monitor all but speaks for him.

The first thing his eyes fall on are all the bandages beneath your clothing, the sling they'd put your arm in, and that starstruck look you had to your eyes. Like you couldn't believe it was him before you now, after spending the last week wondering when he'd wake. It breaks his smile to see. Oh how it breaks him like nothing he's ever felt before.

You had thought about all the different ways you could have surprised him with your visit tonight. You thought about showing up in the dress you wanted to wear on your date, having been too impatient to see an honest reaction later.

You thought about coming when the rest of the team did. Price always was family-oriented, given the lack of an actual family at home. You're sure seeing him then would have left you both feeling as warm as you do now.

Hundreds of ideas ran through you all week, none of which seemed to be quite enough. Eventually, your body took a mind of its own at some point in the evening, finding the keys to your car, then the road, and then the hospital. All the way back to your Captain.

The second your eyes land on him, those idle fantasies could be the furthest thing from your mind.

You don't say a word, merely stepping your way over until you've reached the side of his bed. Each step you inched closer brought back every memory, every single experience shared between you two, until you've let it crumble you into your Captain's arms, sinking your face into his chest. You cry.

Price gently wrapped his arms around you as he sighed to himself. A sigh of relief. A sigh that felt as though a new beginning only awaited.

He lets his hands brush over your hair, soothing you in his arms with gentle words he knew would calm you, words he vaguely remembers you once soothing him with, until he's felt you settle in his arms, the warmth of your body reminding him of every bit he's missed of you. Feathery kisses paint the crown of your head, coming down to your forehead, then from cheek to cheek, until Price has kissed away every tear that dared fall from you.

He isn't sure how much time passes with you in his arms. He hadn't been counting, merely dreading its end. His hold would tighten at the slightest adjustment you made, as though afraid of your departure. Price imagines you had enough tears to hydrate all of the Sahara after having held them in for so long.

Price stops his kissing just short of your nose, however, still not having been used to the thought of bringing his lips to yours. He hadn't meant to be hesitant. Your tears only remind him of the wrench that twisted in his gut still.

His gaze carries over to the window once more, seeing the empty courtyard which once moved with such sorrowful life. He can hardly hear the words leave him when he says it.

"I'm sorry..."

You look up at Price, doing your best not to lean on him and open up any old wounds. "Don't be."

He couldn't quite think of the right words to say, now having put himself on the spot like this. All he knows is that he meant it, and that every time he looked back down at you, it was all he could feel.

"I should have done more to keep you safe," he scolds himself. "If I had just- "

"Price," you try and cut in, though the Captain couldn't bring himself to be done so soon. The words spill from him like a dam, broken down by days of guilt and worry spent from that mission, now having you hear to remind him of it.

"This should never have happened-"

"John," you cup his cheek with your hand, bringing his sullen blue eyes to your tearful ones. "It's OK."

Price freezes, his eyes wavering on yours. He sees now how you hold no ill will towards him. How could you? You were just happy he was here and alive. He could feel himself breaking just seeing how easy it was for you to accept him. How much you had just wanted to be at his side.

"OK."

You let you thumb gently carress his cheek, your hand settling softly against his facial hair. And you smile.

"I love you."

That finally does him in. His smile is as soft and fragile as his gaze, the tears beginning to well in his eyes as a tattered breath leaves his lips. He hadn't noticed how long it'd been since he's heard someone else say that to him. How long he's spent wanting to hear someone say it. Hear you say it.

"I love you too," he whispers.

Now it had been your turn to kiss his sorrows away, your lips finding every inch of his face that you could, until they've found his lips in a kiss long burdened by a once willful distance created between you two. Unfamiliar territory for Price, as it's been too long since last doing so. The man feels clumsy and bashful, even as he's felt your love pour through to him at every kiss you give, assuring him of your silent promises to always be here.

Price only knew he never wanted to see you like this again. Broken, hurt, and crying over someone as sorry as him. So long as he lived, that day would never come again.

A week had gone before the hospital let Price out, and two more weeks after that before you both could find a night that you two were actually free to see each other. But the night had felt worth the wait once that day had finally come.

Those two weeks had gone by within the blink of an, if not for them being both monotonous and life-altering all at once. Health aside, work continued as usual, with Laswell and the others all scrambling trying to pick up the pieces from that last op. Price continued to lead, and you continued to happily follow.

The fondness that had grown between you two since returning had not gone unnoticed by the others either. It seemed any chance you had now, you were in the Captain's office. You all but lived in his shadow now. And the Captain wouldn't have you anywhere else. Nowhere that he could not be sure of your safety.

After all he felt he put you through, he wanted tonight to be the love and apology his words felt too meager to express alone. So naturally, one part of that apology had been to spoil you.

You all but freeze when you see the box of chocolates and bouquet of roses he's brought you, a small gesture compared to the giant stuffed teddy bear you saw sitting in the passenger's seat as well. He all but laughs out loud at your reaction, seeing your face turn beat red and a large smile beam across your cheeks. Even better than what he could have pictured.

You always took the man for a romantic, but it had felt like a whole other thing to be on the receiving end of it. Both everything you could have dreamed for and then some. However, it dimmed in comparison to just the sheer magnitude you felt just being able to look across the driveway and see that it was John standing there.

He stood in front of his truck, having gone to the lengths to look good for you, dressed to a T in his white button-down and dark dress pants. He'd forgone the hat, his dark hair as shampooed and pampered as his beard. Had he not still been bandaged up like he'd just been in an accident (which wasn't entirely false), you'd say he looked ready to model for the cover of some male magazine.

And he could only say the same about you.

High heels, low-cut black dress, tight, spaghetti strapped with the little leg slit, just as you had described it to him in the safehouse. Only his imagination couldn't do you justice. At first, It bothered you that your arm-sling ruined the aesthetic you'd been going for. However, you were sure your Captain wouldn't mind. His smile said as much.

"Are those for me?" The absolute joy in your voice when you ask him had nearly been enough to make the man fall in love all over again. "You really know how to make a girl feel special."

Price watches you take the roses and bring them to your nose, as your eyes shut and you take in its scent. Your hum is lovely, expressing every bit of the joy you'd felt from his kind gesture. He thought it silly now, but a small part of him had been nervous as to what your reaction would be.

However, you couldn't think of anything more perfect than this. The many nights you've spent fearing this day would never come, suddenly felt worth all the sorrow and worry it once left behind.

"Thank you."

"This was a long time coming, love," Price wraps his hands gently around your waist, pulling you closer to him, where you can smell the fresh maple scent of his cologne up close. "I figured I'd make it special."

You set the flowers down on the hood of his truck, bringing your hands to the sides of his neck, as your thumbs rest gently against his skin. "No point in wasting any more time then, right?"

Price leans down, letting his lips hover over yours. Away from work, Price often forgot how alluring you were. How your words could sound like candy when saying even the smallest of things.

The Captain's gaze lowers, his breathing steady. He says to you, "Exactly."

His lips find yours, and they kiss you slowly, lovingly, wanting you to know of every bit of adoration he's harbored for you over the years.

It's you who pushes things further first. You let your lips grow more comfortable along his, hugging your body against him, and taking away that last bit of hesitancy refusing to part ways. The last bit of your past selves you wanted to move forward from.

It's not long before Price has crumbled in your touch, his hands holding you tight, doing everything in their power to capture these parts of you he had not wanted to forget. His kisses longed for yours, lingering just a little longer at each one you left him.

You feel his hands slide back to your hips, pressing you roughly against him, as he sighed into your next kiss, tongues grazing. His hands began to slide up your torso, stopping short of your breast.

But then he pulls away.

You look up to him, a bit confused by his sudden hesitation. "Everything OK?" You ask.

Everything is OK. It's more than OK. It feels too good to be true, he'd thought. And it made his heart race as though he were twenty years old again, having found love for the first time. Except there hadn't been a love that felt quite like this.

"How did I get so lucky?" He asks.

You smile and rest your hand to his cheek again. "You're a sap, you know that?"

"We'll be late for our dinner," he purrs. "Lest you keep me tied up like this."

"Fuck the dinner."

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