#they really put this poor boy through the wringer huh

[lizard-dumbass]

The writers for Steven Universe Future: *slaps roof of steven* this thing can fit so much trauma in it

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Fandom lore from back in the day

The fandom during the years the show was on was booming with constant content being churned out, especially fanfics. Most of the BTR fanfic community knew each other and formed collective headcanons and lore that were then spread and picked up by the rest of the fandom (ie tumblr). I had only just recently discovered online fandom spaces at the time, so I didn't contribute fanfics or anything (which is good because I was young, and they would have been terrible), but I did absorb a good deal that stuck with me. Thought it might be fun to share. A lot of this might still apply today but truth be told, I don't really know much about the current fandom headcanons. I'm still learning things as I continue to interact with people on here! Also! Idk if anyone currently in the fandom was around during Miss Fenway's reign, but she was the Queen of the BTR fandom and most "famous" of the fanfic community. A lot of the headcanons adopted by the fandom started with her and were quickly picked up by others.

Kendall • Pretty much unanimous agreement that his father was a deadbeat who had walked out on the family very shortly after Katie was born. This explains why there is ZERO mention of him in the show, no family pictures in the background that hint at a father still being in their lives, etc. He caused them a lot of pain, so they erased any trace of him. • Some people took a little bit of a kinder approach to him, where he was a genuinely loving dad when Kendall was very young, but then things unraveled, and he ended up leaving. • He was big into hockey, which sparked Kendall's love for the sport. • Lots of sad fanfics involving Little Kendall dealing with his parents deteriorating marriage and being forced to "take charge" once his dad left. • Also agreement that he likely dealt with a decent amount of anxiety and very clear abandonment issues, along with a hero complex. • Naturally, Kendall was very often the focus of intensely angsty fics. He was always being pushed to the limit, ignoring his own issues, sacrificing himself, etc until he reached his breaking point.

Logan • Prior to the airing of Big Time Moms, it was generally headcanoned that Logan's mother had died when he was very young, and he was being raised by his father. • It was also headcanoned (in the fanfic-sphere at least) that Logan's dad was an awful person. Don't ask me how this came to be because I don't actually know. All I remember is discovering fanfiction, reading fic after fic of Logan's dad being horrible, and going, "Huh, I guess that's a thing." • Logan's dad ranged anywhere from being a raging workaholic who totally ignored & neglected Logan to being outright abusive. • The main reason Logan threw himself so hard into school and being "smart" was so his father would notice him. It did not work. • Because of this, the fandom headcanoned that Logan was pretty much "adopted" into the Knight family from the moment he befriended Kendall. Mrs. Knight is the one who raised him and gave him love, and so he and Kendall grew up as brothers. (Several fanfics even had Logan be officially adopted into the Knight family at some point) • If there was an award for most tortured character in BTR fanfiction, Logan would have won hands down during the 2009-2013 fanfic era. This guy was put through the wringer! He was always experiencing trauma. When he wasn't being emotionally scarred by his dad, he was dying tragically or losing an arm in a shark attack or getting brain damage or being kidnapped. Logan suffered constantly lol the poor guy.

Carlos • He likely got the best, most lighthearted side of fandom headcanons and probably suffered the least in fics. Largely because he's Carlos, and nobody wants to hurt Carlos. • From a big, loud, happy family. Definitely the healthiest, most stable upbringing of all the boys. • Babied and loved so so much by his parents. • People had different ideas regarding the actual makeup of his immediate family, but most people headcanoned him as the oldest and only boy, with 3 or 4 much younger sisters. • His father was often written as having a special bond with Logan. I remember a trend in fics where Logan called Mr. Garcia "papa" and looked to him as the main father figure in his life. • It's still assumed that Carlos has a serious case of ADHD, right? Because that was a given back in the day. James • Honestly, I remember the least amount of James lore. Let's see... • Only child • Uses his superficial exterior to hide the fact he's deeply insecure • Actually feels everything so deeply that he has to pretend he doesn't care to avoid getting hurt. This was used to many fic writer's advantage. • Loved by his parents, but they don't show it well, and he grew up feeling disconnected from them. And that's about all I've got!

I should dig back through my old list of bookmarked fanfics at some point and make a post of the ones that were my favorites.

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Okay this isn't exactly a thirst but it's been months since I read your Hanma kinktober and it's still living rent free in my head, it's already part of my veins. Which made me think that in my opinion, after a really shitty day, Hanma would cry if you treated him with such a care (sex or not) he would try to hide it ofc, he's too prideful but still. I just want to kiss and caress every part of his body whispering sweet-nothings against his skin. And once he starts to cry and let everything out, dry his tears away while also kissing his pretty lips.

I just love him to death, my boy deserves a break (they all do frfr)

(That's so flattering waahh!! 😭💕)

I completely agree! In the back of his mind Hanma's probably thinking "Oh- They care about me? Wh- huh?! Wtf they're being so... gentle-"

His mind would be racing, might even cause the poor guy to blue screen for a minute while he processes the fact that someone genuinely cares about him and wants to treat him well. The tears would flow without Hanma even registering it, and when he does he's embarrassed and trying to hide his face.

The whole damn cast has been put through the wringer and I also just want them all to be happy 🥹

[rainofthetwilight]

LEVI LEVI

In addition to Evil Arin, another thing that is potentially the saddest of all is if you compare his situation with the rest of the kids.

He always wanted to be a ninja, Sora and Wyldfyre didn't, and yet they're still "better" than him. They manage to contribute to the team more easily because they have powers while he has to work twice as hard to feel useful with a skill that he hasn't even mastered yet.

Sora finally found a real family on the team, Wyldfyre still has Heatwave (and she has begun to get closer to the team), but Arin can't allow himself to feel happy there because his parents are STILL missing.

The others can allow themselves to be happy with their new family, but for him, the guilt is overwhelming because his other family is still missing and he feels like he is failing to find them and be useful to both sides. And it's unfair because the one thing everyone keeps telling him that makes him a valuable member of the team (being a spinjitzu prodigy) is no longer enough to keep up with everyone else.

I want you to know that all your posts has inspired me to make a short comic of the poor boy because I love the potential angst of this so much

USGKRKKWJDJSKRJSWSHHSJAWJ YOU ALL REALLY WANNA KILL ME W/ ALL THIS ANGST HUH

UGHBBFBDBDFBJF THIS??? ALL OF THIS????

HE ALWAYS SO BADLY WANTED TO BE AN NINJA IT WAS HIS DREAM...AND WHEN BE DID HE FEELS UNWORTHY AND FEELS LIKE HE CAN'T CONTRIBUTE, WHILE SORA AND WYLDFYRE EASILY DO BC THEY HAVE POWERS...AND THE ONLY SKILL HE HAS WASN'T ENOUGH...

UGDHHDJE HE'S SO FULL OF GRIEF AND TRAUMA AND WHILE HIS CLOSEST FRIEND HAD MOVED ON AND ADJUSTED TO HER NEW LIFE, HE WAS STILL GRIEVING AND MOURNING WHAT HE LOST...

like. Oh my gosh. do you see how much happier and playful sora is in s2? she's so more animated, more cheerful, more like herself, as she finally let go of the past. so when you compare her to arin this season, who's grief has been attacking him in every waking moment, who everytime he speaks he's full of nothing but hopelessness and denial, still having his past haunt him more than it ever did. he still cannot find his other family, he still can't adjust, while sora already did, letting go of the other...

and wyldfyre, she still has her own family while adjusting to the new one, and she's happy! she's so happy, she has good dynamics with them (especially with kai), and is even told by rontu how much potential she has!!!

while arin, who's whole dream was to be a ninja, to be useful and worthy, was immediately crushed. the skill he was once praised for is now suddenly not enough, it's suddenly too weak and sloppy and unmastered. while sora and wyldfyre easily fit in, despite them not wanting to do anything w/ the ninja at first, he's still off in the corner, the jealousy consuming him even tho he doesn't want it to

they easily adjusted to their new families, while he still can't, because just like you said the guilt is overwhelming him so so much because he still can't find his other family and it hurts. he feels useless to both families, literally the first thing he said when he thought he saw his parents was that he wasn't good enough dude...

and all of these? these are all motives for him to snap, to crack his facade and become someone no one knew before, his self doubt absolutely eating him up and he succumbs to ras's words about the ninja holding him back....

oh my god I'm actually INSANE for him bro SHDHSKDJJAJS....POOR ARIN DUDE THIS SEASON HAS PUT HIM THROUGH THE WRINGER 😭

ALSO I'M GLAD I INSPIRED YOU!! :D you better thank everyone that sent the asks for that, you are all feeding me with all this angst bro 😭 also would you mind tagging me when you finish that comic? 👉👈 👀 I need more arin angst despite the fact I'm about to explode rn OUDHDHS

[yamagucci-x]

Read on Ao3 Soul Eater AU: The Super Written Exam is only a week away, and with a selective meisters-only training camp on the line Kageyama has to get his shit together. Fast. Rated: T

“I’m sure I don’t need to reiterate to you that opportunities like these are integral to your development as a meister. In general the Academy doesn’t try to dictate where your priorities should lie, and understands that each weapon and meister pair has a, hm, unique journey...” Takeda fiddled with his glasses, frowning across his desk at Kageyama. “But, um, how should I say this?”

Ukai, leaning against the chalkboard, huffed. “Let me take over, Specs.” He pushed himself off the wall and brought his hands down hard on Takeda’s desk, leaning to glare at Kageyama. “Your grades are shit, that’s what he’s trying to say. The Super Written Exam is in one week, and if you fail that you’re not going to the Soul Force intensive training. Instead you’ll be in remedial lessons with Washijo. So if you wanna go, get your ass in gear. Got it?”

Kageyama gripped the sides of his chair with the look of someone who just got an anvil dropped on their chest. Takeda flinched, hurriedly reprimanding Ukai, “M-Maybe not so bluntly-”

Ukai straightened up and folded his arms, surveying his student with pursed lips. “Listen, Kageyama,” he said in a gentler tone, “You and Hinata have grown at an incredible rate. You’re one of the most promising meisters in the class, otherwise you wouldn’t have been chosen for this intensive camp to begin with.” He scratched the back of his head, smiling a little. “I’m still getting the hang of this teaching thing, myself, and I’ll admit I wasn’t big on schoolwork when I was your age-” Takeda, who had been nodding approvingly, shot him a look. “-But right now you’ve just gotta work harder at this one thing so you can give your all to what you really wanna do, y’know?”

Takeda’s smile returned, and he tried to sound as comforting as he could. “I can’t speak from experience, but I think part of being a good meister is being able to juggle life’s pressures, and at this stage school is still one of those pressures. I know the physical aspects of training might be more appealing to you, Kageyama, but just remember that your studies are equally important. Understand?”

Kageyama, slowly defrosting from the initial shock, nodded. When his professors seemed satisfied that he’d gotten the message he stood up and bowed. “Yessir!”

He was almost out the door when Takeda called, “Oh- Kageyama?” His smile had an edge to it that sent a shiver up Kageyama’s spine. “You might want to pass these sentiments on to your partner as well.” 

He left the school and headed toward the group’s usual hangout, Death Scoops Ice Cream (Sweet treats colder than the grave!), walking as if in a trance. He chewed his lip, deep in thought. There was no way he was going to miss such a big opportunity and fall behind. But what could he do? Cheat? No, Professor Ukai was too sharp for that. Study? How did he do that? What was the exam even on? 

“Kageyama-!”

A voice hurtling toward him jolted him out of his reverie. In a flash of orange, Hinata collided with him and sent both of them tumbling to the ground. 

“Hinata, you idiot!” Kageyama growled, untangling himself enough to sit up. 

“Sorry, you usually catch me,” his partner grinned, stubbornly keeping his arms around Kageyama’s neck so he could pull him in for a kiss.

For a second he froze, still not used to the rush of blood in his cheeks at Hinata’s touch, but after they stood up he gave Hinata another peck on the lips. “You taste like chocolate,” he said.

Hinata grabbed his hand and pulled him to the cluster of tables his classmates occupied after getting banned from the lobby of Scoops. “I got you frozen yogurt!”

Daichi, Suga, and Yamaguchi waved, while Tsukishima smirked knowingly. Tanaka was grinning at him, hands on his hips like he’d been waiting for him to show up. 

“So, you survived the beat down, huh?” Tanaka called, “Did Ukai tell you to get your ass in gear too? He loves that line.”

Kageyama nodded, forcing Hinata to scoot over so they could share a seat. “He said if I fail the written exam, I’ll have to take remedial lessons and-” He shuddered with a pained look like brainfreeze, despite having taken one bite of his half-melted froyo. His head and his voice dropped. “-And I won’t be able to do Soul Force training.”

“Ye-ahh,” Tanaka rubbed his head with a grimace, “Nishinoya and I got the same threats. I sure as hell don’t wanna be stuck in remedial lessons with that nasty old geezer, but poor Noya was pretty freaked out about missing the meister training.” Suddenly he smiled with a twinkle in his eye. “But never fear- Ennoshita promised to help us study, and just in case I have a secret weapon up my sleeve!”

“Where is Ennoshita?” Daichi asked. 

“He went ahead with Noya and Asahi. Said something about needing alone time to ‘emotionally prep’ for tutoring, whatever that means,” Tanaka shrugged. Suga forced him to sit down again with a snicker.

Hinata nudged his partner. “You really are stupid, Kageyama,” he said condescendingly. “Guess they don’t call you King for being top of the class.”

Kageyama almost shoved him off the seat. “Your grades are just as bad as mine, dipshit. Takeda said you’re screwed too if you fail.” 

Hinata looked stricken, as if he’d never considered the possibility before.

“Well Hinata doesn’t have to worry about the training intensive, at least,” Suga pointed out, “But I’m sure you guys will be fine if you just study hard this week!”

Hinata gripped the table, babbling loudly. “Really, Sugawara? I can’t do more remedial lessons with Washijo, I can’t— will I really be okay, even if I’ve never gotten double digits on a quiz?”

Silence fell over the group. Tanaka had a faraway look in his eyes. Tsukki snickered. Daichi changed the subject. “I heard from Kuroo that Yaku has been putting Lev through the wringer for weeks, even though Yaku’s the one going to the training camp. Apparently the kid’s pretty hopeless.”

“Sounds about right,” Suga laughed as he patted Hinata absently on the head. “Man, I wish I was going. But they’re so selective, and there’s already a big group this year. Akaashi’s invited too. Tendo, Sakusa, Ojiro, Hoshiumi. Oh! You’re going, right Tsukishima?”

Tsukki sighed. “Yeah. Personally I’d rather not have to spend two weeks crammed in some DWMA dorm with a bunch of guys I don’t even talk to-” He shot Kageyama a leering smile, “Y’know, since Kageyama won’t be there.”

The little frozen yogurt spoon clattered out of Kageyama’s hands. He stood up, his eyes flashing. “You’re going?” He clenched his fist. “Dammit, I’m going to pass that exam!” 

Hinata, whose mouth had been hanging open, jumped up too and shook Kageyama’s arm vigorously. “What are we going to do, Kageyama? We can’t lose to this asshole! If we fail I’ll never become a Death Scythe!” 

They put their heads together, muttering furiously as they tried to come up with a plan to beat the test. Tsukki raised a brow. “You could try not failing?”

“Aha!” Hinata raised his fist triumphantly. “We’re going to break into Professor Ukai’s house and steal the exam!” Kageyama nodded approvingly.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Daichi cut in, looking stressed. He was about to launch into a lecture when a loud voice interrupted them from across the street.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto called as he jogged over from the convenience store across the street. “You guys talking about the exam?” He managed to ruffle Tsukishima’s hair for a second before getting coldly pushed away. “I was a little worried- Akaashi and I are trying for top marks but my grades haven’t been the best lately. But we’ve been studying our asses off for weeks so I’m sure we’ll come out victorious!” He flashed a smile. “We even have a great system. If I get a question right, I get a snack. If I get one wrong, I have to do thirty crunches. Reward and punishment is a great motivator, y’know?”

“Does that work?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Well, sort of...” Bokuto deflated, clutching his stomach. “My core is so sore.”

Tsukki snorted. “It’s like training a dog.”

Yamaguchi and Suga laughed but Bokuto threw an accusing finger at him. “You take that back! Say I’m wise, like an owl! Say it!”

Hinata watched all of this unfold with a dawning realization. He pulled Kageyama close by his shirt and whispered something in his ear. His partner’s face immediately darkened, his brows knitting. “No, hell no. I’d rather fail.”

“C’mon, what other choice do we have?” Hinata looked up at him with those bright eyes, the ones he couldn’t resist no matter how strong his resolve. “Please, Tobio?”

Kageyama made a disgusted noise. “Fine.”

Hinata squeezed his hand before springing up and bowing so low he almost smacked his head against the table. “Tsukishima!” he yelled, loud enough to cut through the chatter. “Please tutor us so we don’t fail the exam! Or at least give us some study tips! You’re way smarter than us! Please!”

For a second Tsukki looked completely shocked. But then a devilish look spread over his face and he tapped his chin. “Well, I might be willing. But it doesn’t seem very fair that Dumb is the only one groveling. Dumber should be polite and ask too, don’t you think?”

Kageyama hesitated, scowling. His partner elbowed him. He bent stiffly at the waist and blurted out, “Please help us study, Tsukishima!” He distinctly heard someone take a picture and his face promptly started burning.

Tsukishima looked like he was ready to drag the scene out for as long as possible but luckily Yamaguchi cut in. “We all have the same lunch period- maybe you can help them then, Tsukki.”

He scoffed. “I’m not giving up my lunch for these clowns. I’ll help you for ten minutes before Takeda’s class.”

The boys straightened up and bellowed their thanks. Their gathering was promptly broken up when the owner of the shop stuck his head out the door to chew them out for shouting so much. Everyone quickly gathered their things and waved their goodbyes before they could get banned permanently.

Hinata seemed satisfied, skipping along with a determined expression. Kageyama, however, was not as confident, still chewing his lip and calculating exactly how far behind he’d fall if he didn’t make it to the training. After a couple blocks he felt Hinata’s soft hand fold around his. He glanced over to see his partner looking up at him with flashing eyes. 

“Don’t worry, Kageyama,” Hinata said, giving his hand a squeeze. “We’re not going to fall behind. Even if it means asking Sucky-shima for help.” 

Hinata flashed a smile so bright it made Kageyama stop suddenly. He buried his hand in Hinata’s hair and pulled him into an exuberant kiss. When they broke away, breathing heavily, Kageyama kept their foreheads pressed together with a determined grin. “Yeah.”

“Waa-hoo!” Hinata leapt into the air, crying, “We’re gonna beat everybody and ace the Super Written Exam! We’re going to become the most powerful weapon and meister the Academy’s ever seen!” He walked backwards in front of Kageyama, still grinning. “But first, I’m gonna beat you home!”

Kageyama laughed and cursed as he sprinted after his partner, his heart full and the weight of exams temporarily vanished. 

They collapsed on the stoop with gasping breaths, agreeing to call it a draw due to excessive shoving from both parties. Hinata was the first to jump up, declaring he was going to get a head start on studying to really stick it to Tsukishima. Kageyama agreed and ambled up the steps behind him.

About halfway up, Hinata paused to ask over his shoulder, “Hey Kageyama, what are we even supposed to study?”

Kageyama considered it for a moment. “I dunno, notes?”

“Have you ever taken notes?”

“...No.”

[calliecat93]

Star Trek TOS Liveblogs: S3EP8 - For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky

Boy is that title a mouthful…

Okay clearly the sickbay scene was supposed to be before the scene on the bridge and they putright reuse the footage after the opening credits… so WHY did they play it out of order in the cold opening? As a draw in? IDK, that kind of thing with continuity always bothers me.

This whole episode essentially hinges on DeForest Kelley’s performance the whole episode to make this episode work. He nails it roght off the back. The clear controlled frustration at Christine getting Kirk, his anxiety at having to tell his captain/best friend that he’s a dead man, trying to delay the reveal for however briefly… God he’s just so freakin’ good.

Kirk just sounds like he hates having to note all of this even in his log.

Yeah when Kirk outright tells McCoy that he doesn’t have to go on an away mission and is reluctant to drag him into it, you KNOW that this is serious. Same goes for McCoy actually wanting to go on it without so much as one gripe about it.

Kirk’s so worried about McCoy, and I just… 😭😭😭

You know Kirk he was only passed out like… a minute longer than you and Spock were. Was it just THAT hard to resist Spock’s prying?

This scene though. You can just tell that Kirk is so sad about McCoy dying and that he can’t do a damn thing about it. In production order this was after both The Empath and The Tholian Web, so having McCoy already almost die once and then Kirk himself almost dying… someone in the writer’s room REALLY wanted to put them and Spock through the emotional wringer, huh?

And Spock just… taking the news in and supporting McCoy/holding onto his arm for far longer than necessary… GOD MY FEELINGS!!!

McCoy with Natira is just McCoy trying to channel his inner Kirk essentially XD

I repeat: this whole episode hinges on DeForest Kelley. Forced romances aren’t at all uncommon in TOS, but the one with Natira falls under this HARD. The only thing that saves it is The acting by De and Katherine Woodville, the actress who played Natira. They were working with what they had, and whiel it doesn’t change it from being rushed, for the most part I can see chemistry with them. I guess tbf they pretty much point it out in-episode how sudden it is so…

Back on De specifically… he has so much going on here. He has to channel McCoy’s sadness, loneliness, anxieties, and just … everything regarding dying and be infatuated all at the same time. And since the show never really went into McCoy’s background (we only know about Jocelyn and Joanna from supplementary materia and his dad’s death likely wasn’t thought up yet) De has to channel all of that too and make us feel for him. Under a lesser actor this worhld have easily fallen flat, but De performs it so genuinely that it’s hard to NOT feel bad for McCoy or understand the pain he’s feeling despite knowing so little regarding him. Just… I love DeForest Kelley, okay?!

I don’t really have an opinion of Natira. She seems like a perfectly nice lady and she is very pretty. I can see why McCoy would like her. But otherwise… eh? Her actress does try to put character into her though, I can appreciate that.

Haha, Kirk and Spock’s faces when Natira says she wants McCoy as her mate. I mean tbf Kirk considering all the hijinks you ended up in with women, you REALLY should have known better. Same with Spock since he’s seen this happen… how many times at this point? YOU BOTH SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

God I have SOOOO much I want to say about McCoy in this episode. I’m saving most of it for the inevitable meta but… AAAAHHHHH!!!

McCoy telling Kirk and Spock that he’s not coming with them… God man. Kirk outright looks like a kicked puppy. I mean o matter what McCoy dying is an inevitability… but McCoy choosing tondie either via illness or being shot down away from his two best friends… God that has to hirt.

Kirk looking up at McCoy when Scotty questions it… God it hurts. Kirk’s pretty much begging him at that point to change his mind, and McCoy silently, almost coldly just steps back and away from him and Spock. Just… ooowwww.

At least McCoy had the good sense to call them when he realized there was a way to save Yonada. It almlst got him killed, but still!

Haha, Natira realizing that McCoy can’t truly leave Kirk and Spock, haha. Poor woman never had a chance.

Give Natira credit, she DID listen and ultimately came around to not blindly believing the Oracle. That’s worth something!

The Oracle gives me serious villain form Wall-E vibes… honestly the whole plot gives me some mild Wall-E vibes.

Well the breakup was pretty contrived… but hey at least they didn’t go the easy route of just killing Natira or something. I’m glad it was amicable at least, they both have different paths to go down in life and they’re commited to it. Plus I think Natira knows that she can’t beat out Kirk and Spock, haha!

The cure is also contrived and really last second, like they coudln’t think kf a better resolution… but honestly IDK how they could have resolved this without having a last second save since the show just didn’t do continuous narratives. but hey McCoy survived and makes it to his 130’s at least, so why nitpick?

The episode is good, but not as good as it could have been. Mainly the ending being contrived and kind of rushed and it feels like they forgot all about McCoy having xenopolycythemia to focus on him finally getting a love interest (who isn’t a salt monster dosguised as his ex, of course). But the overall execution, while flawed, also could have been MUCH worst and there’s still so much going on. Like I said DeForest Kelley is what sells it and I’m glad that someone allowed him have at least one episode where he got to be in the spotlight cause he deserved it. It’s not perfect, but it’s still plenty emotional and an overall good watch and a lot of what we know now helps add more depth. At least enough that me writing the McCoy meta for this is gonna be fuuuun XD