#they really really nailed this as a moment of ellie to ellie without it being out of place at ALL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

abbyonmars · 4 months

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cw; fem!reader, mentions of sex, swearing.

wc: 1.7k. angst/fluff.

this is also kinda toxic imo sorry x

ellie can't won't sleep without having you in her arms.

but since the sun's setting your evening looked like hours of waiting for her. spamming her phone, chewing unsparingly at your already short and mutilated nails, heart beating relentlessly in your chest — all in result of each rapid thought that gushed through the boundless blackhole that was your worried mind, and the ceaseless growing pit of anxiety that dropped to endless oblivion in your stomach.

she had told you before she left that she would be back by 7:00pm to watch that movie she promised to watch with you. the one in which being the sequel to your favourite franchise, as well as it being the movie you had been begging her to come see with you for weeks. not only this, but it also happened to be your one year anniversary with her; you had spent so much time and effort to weave in a plethora of sentiments like dinner and gifts that you thought she would like and so patiently, you sat cross-legged on your side of the bed like the good, loyal girlfriend you were, waiting for her to come home.

and since hours before, you had been dolled up and ready to see her. your hair was intricately made, glitter was tapped to your eyelids — and underneath your tightly hugging button up and the thin fabric of your skirt laid a set of pretty pink lacy lingerie you were excited to surprise her with later.

but you were sat there for hours. you watched the clock turn from 7:00pm to 8, 8:00 to 9. but 9:00pm turned to 10, which soon turned into 12am and yet, no ellie.

some would argue that this isn't such a deal. you could claim your own indifference — just tuck yourself in, indulge in that perpetual doom-scroll before you fall asleep. you could just ask about her whereabouts in the morning, just don't make this such a big thing. she probably just happened to have too much fun.

however, this has happened one too many times, too many times for you to count. making in advance plans only to have her screw you over without word, continuously coming home to you with the same and overused, pathetic excuses that always resulted in an argument and tears — notwithstanding the heated make-up sex she'd treat you to in order to to ease her 'guilt' and to compensate for her assholery that day.

but this time you decided you were tired of waiting. you didn't feel like having that habitual screaming match at whatever time she'd decide to come home that night and you knew that whatever you did, you would always end up in the same predicament that was reimbursing your forgiveness, despite constantly being treated similar to the dirt barred between the crevices in her converse soles.

'she can do whatever she wants.' you tried to reassure yourself; after all, no one was there to do it for you. why fret? 'i'm not her mother. i don't control her.'

with your back turned to her side of the bed, you tried your best to fall asleep, watching the moon's gentle spill of light from the glass window of the room with half-shut eyes. for now, you were at some state of serenity, finding solace in the teasing winks of twinkling stars and small snippets of the wind's light whistles.

you'd been half-asleep for longer than you thought, merely lost in your absent thoughts about anything but her. but soon, it wasn't just you and the moon — interruption came by the creaking of the bedroom door along with the obnoxiously bright and artificial light that forced itself in through the crack of the entrance. by then you knew she was back, but you remained still and seemingly unstirred by her entry.

"babe," she whispered, her enunciation almost blending in with the wind's breeze. "you awake?"

but you stayed silent. no longer watching the darkened skies, you froze, shutting your eyes without any utterance and really tried to fall asleep that time — a few moments had passed, and your mind had eventually come to being on the brink of unconsciousness, almost derailed of its endless foreboding.

you shouldn't have gotten used to the feeling of your head no longer spinning, nor the induced tranquillity by being solitary. because once you felt the bed dip in next to you, your stomach was suddenly in knots all over again. all the progress towards the settlement you were better off with was expeditiously diminished, and all from hearing a singular sigh from the girl next to you.

although you tried your best to contain it, a sole tear happened to roll down your reddened cheeks, and a small sniffle was made from your allegedly sleeping peace.

"baby," she breathed, sliding her cold hands onto your bare shoulder, "you're awake - listen, i'm sorry i didn't call, or—"

with an abrupt movement you turned to face her with wrinkled eyebrows and a scrunched face, lips turned downward into a lip-bitten frown and with eyes that turned glassy instantaneously. she met you now with a similar looking frown as she eyed the fresh dampness of your cheeks, her stomach now swirling with shame.

"where were you?" you rasped. you took in a sharp and shaking breath, watching the way her blinking green eyes bored back into yours. "where were you?"

"i'm sorry," she answered, her voice quietening to a murmur upon seeing your eyes roll in response. "i just lost track of time—"

you scoffed. letting out a dry chuckle, you swallowed down the lump that threatened to form in your throat, well aware of the one also forming in hers. "we had plans. don't you care about me?"

with that, her eyes widened as she instantly sat up, and her voice all of a sudden grew louder in her attempt to defend herself.

"what? of - of course i care about you, y/n. i just—"

"you just, what?" you huffed, sitting up next to her. "you just - lost your phone? couldn't get away? or did you just.. forget? because, i wouldn't be surprised if you did, since—"

"jesus, will you just let me talk?" she muttered exasperatedly, bringing up a hand to rub her temples with her thumb and first two fingers. "y'know, you're always jumping to these ridiculous excuses. just let me explain."

"fuck, i wonder why," you sighed. sarcastically smiling, you leaned forward to your knees, delving your face into the palms of your hands. "do you even know what today was?"

she blinked. she let a beat of silence pass, her mouth being slightly hung open with a sort of blank cluelessness. "... w-what?"

and came another scoff from you and weak tears slipping from your orbs, you responded, "our anniversary. our one year, together."

as if she couldn't feel or look any worse than she did now, blood drew from her face, bestowing upon her freckled cheeks the palest you have ever seen her look. she withdrew a quiet breath, sliding her narrow fingers up her neck and over her mouth as she payed mind to the growing disappointment on your face.

you waited for any development of voice, but alas, to nothing. you bit your lip, muttering a quiet, 'forget it' as you turned over to lay on your side, and your head plunged back into the sinking air of your pillow as you pulled the duvet up to cover the shivers upon your bare neck.

she sighed. sliding her hand back onto your shoulder in a forbearing attempt to get you to turn back to her, she gritted her teeth and her hand moved away once you shook her off, only tucking yourself tighter into the covers.

"go to sleep, ellie," you muttered, sniffling once more.

"baby — please. you are so important to me."

"sleep."

forthwith, ellie grew tense. her other hand shot up to nervously rub at the lobe of her ear as she continued to plead with you, but having unsuccessfully drawn any sort of amenable answer she eventually gave up, deciding that she'd push for some stage of absolution of the sort in the morning.

but having barely endured the unresponsiveness from you, the next half hour was spent restlessly by the girl; within short intervals she kept shuffling an uncomfortable amount in her space, consequently perturbing you each time. it took quite an ounce of strength not to tell her to stop because you knew that if you took action, she'd take it as an initiative to talk again.

yet unknowingly, you were in that same dilemma. your side of the bed felt particularly colder than normal, and your heart spiked with something other than your determining stubbornness — suddenly, you no longer felt consoled by the room's solitude from earlier. even with her next to you, you couldn't have felt more alone.

"y/n," she whispered. "i know you're awake."

you sniffed. shuffling slightly in place, the warmth that you were well accustomed to gradually felt like it moved closer to your own body, and you felt the light graze of her fingers once more, skimming gently along your arm.

"please," she breathed. "angel, i- i can't sleep. let me touch you."

a moment's hesitance happened to come alongside a huff that indicated you finally caving into her touch. without turning you reached for her hand and you threw it around your waist, squeezing your eyes shut in slight regret and yet, ease.

letting out a small sigh of relief, she tightened her hold around your torso and pressed your back up to the front of her body. her hand moved to the dip of your hip and stayed there, and you could feel her heart racing against you — somehow, even after the torment she unintentionally put you through, your own stomach swarmed with butterflies and the tension within you dissipated almost in an instant.

"thank you," she mumbled, lips lingering around the crook of your neck. she moved your hair aside, planting soft kisses up the skin of your tensed shoulder and to your ear.

"i'll make it up to you," her warm breath hit your skin and tickled the back of your ear, the rasping of her low voice sending a different ray of knots into your stomach. "i promise."

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

hii i'm back

i hope you're all well :')

pls let this be a (very poor) reminder to not let anybody treat you less than you're worth. if this happened to hit home, i'm sorry — know that whatever you've been through, you are worthy of love and respect. please don't think otherwise

#ellie williams #lesbian #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #tlou2 #the last of us 2 #the last of us part 2 #tlou ellie #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #wlw

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coeurify · 1 year

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i keep thinking about begging ellie to kiss you while taking a pause when making out and she realizes how much of a hold she has over you. your voice has gone all whiny and wobbly like you’re about to cry grabbing at her shoulders even though she was JUST kissing you. she’s almost laughing because you seem scared she’s gonna get up and leave when there’s no else she would rather be ARGHHHHH

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18 + under the cut. making out. whiny!reader , dom-ish ellie.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i wrote most this then it got deleted so it may be a little short sorrryy

The moment Ellie pulled away from the kiss, you had chased after her lips in disapproval. Shifting in her lap when pulled back again.

“Nuh uh babe, need you to take a breath,” she hummed— swiping a thumb over your red cheeks. A pout pressed on your lips. So what if you were getting a bit breathless? Who needed air in their lungs when Ellie’s lips are against yours?

“ ‘M fine els, stop..” you try to keep your voice steady— but both of you can hear the slight whine to your tone. Ellie just shook her head, seeming to eye you up and down.

You take a large breath in to please her, albeit a bit dramatically. Then you look at her, at the unreadable expression.

It makes Ellie want to smile, how needy you seem to be for the next kiss. She doesn’t let the emotion show though— falling into her own thoughts as you breathe in small frustrated puffs above her.

At first the pause she started was genuinely sweet.. wanting you to catch your breath and calm the fast beating heart she could feel against her. But upon taking in your attitude.. well it changed.

To push this test further, she leans her back against the wall behind her comfortably, bringing you two even further apart.

Pouting still, you grab her arms, nails scraping against the skin there. Again you lean forward to try and kiss her.. and she turns her cheek.

This denial hurts, enough to make you whine and press your face into her neck, face flushed with embarrassment. This embarrassment twinges your whole being.. eyes stinging. Why was she denying you? All you wanted was a kiss. All you needed was her.

Ellie though? Ellie is having the time of her life. The way you squirm in her lap.. the feeling of your hands gripping at her like she may run away. It makes her feel on top of the whole fucking world.

“El, you’re being mean,” you say upon pulling back up to look at her. “I want a kiss,” you continue— your lip quivering. Unable to help the upset rising from not being pressed against her. If you weren’t already teary eyed you sure were when she shrugged like it didn’t matter.

“I want a kiss, please- Ellie c’mon..”

“What was that baby?” Ellie taunts, tilting her head innocently like you hadn’t spoken loud enough.

You blink back frustrated tears, squirming around more. She was being no fair. What if she really got up without kissing you again?

The thought alone pushes you to speak. “Please let me kiss you again Ellie,” you say it this time as clearly as you can, your chin tilting up to try and seem serious.

“Was just kissing you baby, you really cant wait more than a few seconds?”

Her words send a small jolt through you, the way she coos them in a taunting way.. the way she licks her lips to drive home the point. It’s maddening. A more dramatic part of your brain swears you will die if not kissing her again within the next minute.

“Ellie..” you crumble into her. unable to keep up the strong front as more words tumble from your lips, “please please kiss me again, need it. need you, stop teasing,” you sniffle— like you may actually cry.

God does it do things to Ellie’s brain to see you like this.. a whiny mess over a simple kiss. Your arms are trying to tug her close, tears ready to spill.. how could she say no? How could she ever say no to you? As much as she may be playing hard to get right now.. she was almost as desperate for another kiss too.

“my needy girl..” she patronized— but after another long second leaned forward to finally kiss you again.

#i hate my writing in this #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #rins reqs ❀.

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cyberels · 5 months

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IT WILL COME BACK

PLEASE GOD LISTEN TO IT WILL COME BACK BY HOZIER IT MAKES THE FIC BETTER GOD BLESS

(my requests are on btw plsss send fic ideas pleaseee)

PART TWO HERE CUZ MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO ADD IT my bad

summary: ellie hates one night stands, while you couldn’t care less. she barely manages to catch your name before you’re pulled away from her. she makes it her goal to find you again.

warnings: NSFW, MDNI!!!, drinking, language

(i am a whore for subby!ellie so that’s all i wrote in this fic, it’s all e!receiving)

wc: 2.4k

a/n: okay i so lied about the other fic it’s not done yet so take this one instead lol it’s my first time writing smut in years so… please be patient if it’s not good i will improve eventually 🙏 (i didn’t proofread this, sorry if it sucks LOL)

my masterlist

divider credit to benkeibear :)

The music's overwhelming, and you're certain your hearing's screwed, if it wasn’t already. The lights flash, illuminating the room and all the people in it. You'd been told this was just a small get together, so why are there so many people here? who goes all out for a fucking get together?

you stick to the corner of the room, sipping your drink occasionally while you pretend to scroll through your phone to look casual. originally, your plan was to stay home and study for finals, but you agreed to go because your friend had promised she'd be with you the whole time.

“come onnnnn, don’t be lame. just fuck someone and have a good time, you’ve been studying for like yearsssss.” your friend pleaded. somehow she was already drunk.

“i’m not really in the mood for a hookup—“

“liar, your ass was swiping through tinder not even 30 minutes ago.” she grins at you, “look, let’s just go to the party, yeah? have a good time and shit, get fucked up… maybe get fucked, you feel me?”

“you’re stupid and i hate you.”

“you love me.”

…unfortunately for you, your friend's plan to stick with you only lasted about 15 minutes before she saw her old fling and disappeared up the stairs with them, so you're on your own now. great.

screw it. might as well have some fun, too. you push yourself off the wall, discarding your empty cup on some random shelf, and immediately going to grab another drink to replace it. you look around, maybe a hookup wouldn’t be so bad?

you never believed in divine timing, but you lock eyes with a girl that’s sitting on the couch across from you right when you decide to find someone to fuck. you can’t bring yourself to look away; you’re too dumbfounded that there’s a girl here that’s literally the human embodiment of your type.

the girl smiles back at you, also not breaking eye contact. she beckoned for you to sit down on the couch next to her.

ellie was never the type for one night stands, if she was gonna fuck someone, she’d want them back for more later. but there was just something about the way your outfit hugged your body that made her not care at the moment.

ellies previous situationship had gotten a girlfriend without warning, so needless to say she was in the market for someone else to take her spot. when she saw you and the way you were looking at her like she was the only girl at this stupid party, she figured you were just as desperate for sex as she was right now.

you carry your shot of don julio back as you flop onto the seat across from the girl. you quickly take the shot, being unable to stop the cringe on your face as the alcohol burns your throat. real smooth, she’s definitely gonna wanna fuck you now—

“can’t handle your tequila?” she teased, leaning closer to you so she was able to be heard over the music.

“shut up, i can’t help that it tastes like fucking nail polish remover.”

ellie laughs at your response, and you swear you’ve never heard something so fucking cute before in your life. you try to play it cool, but the way she’s looking at you is making you practically drool. you tense as you unintentionally conjure up a mental image of her hands up your shirt, her lips on your skin, her fingers in your—

“at least it gets the job done.”

you blink a few times, her voice ripping you from your fantasy, “yeah, it does. ‘specially don julio, that shits like a hundred bucks a bottle.”

“and it’s worth every fucking penny, dude.”

you hadn’t expected to be fantasizing about some random girl fucking you, but… here you were. maybe it’s the tequila, or the few drinks you had beforehand, but you decided you absolutely needed this girl despite only speaking two goddamn sentences to her.

your eyes fall to the hallway, moving towards an empty bedroom door, and then back to the girl. you never were a fan of small talk, anyways.

ellie’s breath catches when she follows your gaze to the bedroom. she had been hoping for a distraction from the party, and she was just as eager for you as you were for her.

“wanna go talk in there?” you smiled, nodding towards the room. “it’s quieter.”

the girl grins back, not bothering to answer, just getting up and grabbing your hand, leading you into the bedroom.

usually you’d try to learn her name first, or at least learn more about her, but not tonight, not with her. you needed her as quickly as possible.

you barely let her lock the door before you push her roughly onto the bed, a mischievous smile spreading across your face as you move your body to straddle hers. “you sure you wanna do this?”

“yeah, i’m sure.”

“perfect. gonna be good and let me take control?”

ellie's eyes widened. she’s not normally the submissive type, but… tonight was a different game, and you were hot, so she simply nodded in response as you moved to press kisses into her neck.

you shake your head, pulling away from her for a moment, “nuh uh, not a good enough answer. use your words.”

“mmh— i’ll be good, i’ll let you take care of me.” ellie chokes out, heat pooling between her legs already, and all she wants is to grab your hand and shove it down her pants.

“perfect, good girl.” you coo, rolling your hips and dragging your crotch over hers, your jeans colliding with her sweatpants. your movements are slow and deliberate, you know exactly what you’re doing.

you brush your lips over hers, but you don’t kiss her, instead you move to the side of her face, leaving a trail of kisses across her jawline.

ellie whimpers, “teasin’ me.”

you laugh in response, “maybe i am, pretty girl. you’re gonna have to prove you deserve it before i give you more.”

the noises she made in response go directly to your clit, and if you weren’t having so much fun teasing the girl, you’d be touching yourself right about now.

the other girl grabbed the hem of your shirt, forcing your lips against hers. you moan into the kiss, tangling your hands in her hair and pulling slightly.

ellies so enamored that she doesn’t even realize your knee slipped between her thighs, and she instinctively pulls away as you press your knee further into her, “fuck, ah— s’good, baby.”

you grin, moving your knee up and down slowly, “you like that?”

“yeah, i fucking— shit, baby, fuck—“

you barely give ellie the opportunity to speak before you replace your knee with your hand.

you trail your kisses down to the hem of her pants, smiling up at her, “this alright?”

“fuck yeah it is.”

you giggle, continuing to move your hand slowly against the other girls clothed slit as you place more kisses onto her thigh.

after a moment, you pull back and tug on her pants, “need these off of you.”

you know you sound desperate, but you don’t care.

ellies cunt aches at the absence of your touch, so she quickly obliges, leaving just her boxers on, “take yours off too, babe, please. wanna see you.”

you want to deny her and play your game a little longer, but there's something about the way she’s looking at you, eyes watery and half-lidded, that makes it impossible to say no, “only ‘cause you asked so nicely.”

soon enough, both of you were left in just your underwear and bra, and you thank god you wore a cute set tonight. the only regret you have is not bringing your strap, because god do you want to get this girl pregnant.

“so fucking hot.” you say, moving back so you could see her whole body. you move your hand to trace along her tattoo, and you smile at her, “you’re so fucking pretty.”

ellie whimpers again, and she moves your hand back to her throbbing clit, “more.”

“m’not done admiring you.” you say, “you can wait a little while longer.”

you lean closer to her again, pushing her bra back slightly and sucking on the skin, leaving small red marks across her chest.

at this point, ellie is certain she cannot wait any longer, her legs squeezing together to try and get some friction. “mmh, can’t wait baby, need you now. please— fuck, oh my god— please, baby.”

you push her legs back open, giggling, “you’re so cute when you’re needy. stop moving, m’gonna take care of you eventually.”

your move so your head is in between the other girls thighs, and you place gentle kisses on the girls legs, leaving more red marks every now and again.

“fuck, please touch me, you’re killing me— you can’t do this to me. fuck.”

you grin, you hand hovering over the girls crotch now, just barely touching her, “you’re such a little slut for me, aren’t you? you don’t even know my name and you’re still begging me for more.”

ellie presses your hand down further into herself, she’s getting tired of waiting, “god, babe— please, i need it. please baby, i’m bein’ good, please.”

you bite your lip to stifle a moan, “so fucking hot when you beg.”

your hand moves to her clit, and you rub small circles into her. you’re moving painfully slow, but you can’t let her win just yet, you like hearing her whimper. “so wet already, pretty girl. you’re turning into my bitch, huh?”

you’d be lying if you said you weren’t wet too, and the sounds of ellies moans aren’t helping your case, but ellie doesn’t need to know that right now.

ellie goes to say something in response, but you don’t give her the chance, you speed up your movements, and she whines pathetically into the pillow she has pressed up against her face.

“not— not fair.” she whimpers, “fuck, faster— m’ gonna—“

“not yet.” you say, stopping what you were doing and tugging off her boxers. you’re certain you know the answer, but you ask again, “this alright?”

“mhm.” ellie replies, biting her lip, she can’t bring herself to say anything more. she wants this so bad.

you discard her boxers on the floor, and then bring your head in between her thighs again, “want you to cum in my mouth.”

ellie nods eagerly, and once again moves to press your face into her cunt. she forgets she’s in public for a second, unable to hold back her moans. she’s lucky the music's loud, because god she felt like she was going crazy with how good it felt.

you lick a stripe into her already sopping wet slit, and after a minute, you get to work. the second you stop teasing her, it only takes a few seconds for her to cum all over your face.

the noises she makes as she finishes make it hard for you to focus on anything else, your own clit begging for her touch, but before you do anything else, there’s a bang on the door.

you can’t hear exactly what the person outside is saying, but you’re able to hear one word, cops.

well, fuck, at least the other girl got to finish. you’d definitely be taking care of yourself once you got home.

“shit, i’m sorry.“ the girl starts, grabbing your clothes and throwing them towards you before putting hers on, “usually i wouldn’t just—“

“it’s fine.” you insist, “i’m just glad i got to make you feel good.”

ellie could die, right there on the spot. you look so fucking hot, and right now she was yearning to return the favor and make you feel good, too. “what’s your name?”

you smile and tell her, and then start to ask for hers, but you’re interrupted by the banging starting again. you grab her hand once you both are clothed, and run out of the house.

it didn’t take long before your friend spotted you, pulling you away from the girl and into the uber she called.

“dude, who the fuck would call the cops? it wasn’t that loud of a party— uh, dude, your shirts on backwards.”

“my wh—“ you look down, and sure enough, it is on backwards. that's…. embarrassing. “oh, well, um—“

“—no way! you— with who?! i thought you said you weren’t in the mood for that? you’re such a liar!”

“i don’t know her name.” you admit, brushing your hands through your hair, “wish i did. the cops got called before i could… y’know.”

you didn’t want to say anything further, deciding to spare the poor uber driver of knowing the details of your sex life.

“maybe you’ll find her again, it’s not that big of a town.”

“maybe. but it’s no big deal if i don’t. i don’t normally keep track of my hookups.”

“yeah, but usually you get to finish, too.” she counters.

“it’s whatever, i don’t mind.” you shrugged, and it was the truth. you had toys at home that would satisfy you enough, you’d just use them.

and that’s exactly what you did when you got home.

you turned on the shower and cleaned yourself up when you were done. usually your hookups don’t stick with you like this, but this girl was just so damn hot, and the way she begged— god. you figure you should probably think of something else, because you’re gonna make a mess of yourself again if you keep going like this.

when you hopped into bed, you still couldn’t get the image of her out of your head. this… wasn’t normal for you.

you even fucking dreamt of her that night, and you cursed at yourself once you woke up, because now you were aching for her touch once more.

stupid, you think, i’m so stupid. can’t get attached, don’t even know her name.

luckily enough for you, you don’t have to worry about that much longer. when you open your phone, there’s a dm waiting for you.

…how the fuck?

#max writes ☆#ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams #the last of us #wlw smut #wlw #tlou #Spotify

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honeyblonde8929 · 3 months

Text

My Sunflower Girl - Ellie x Reader Fanfiction

TW: swearing, light smut, mentions of depression & tobacco use.

summary: You and Ellie take a trip to a nearby field to pick some flowers for Joels grave. You try to cheer her up, despite her depression. It’s good that you can help her, be a beacon of light, and… so much more.

•

The sunlight peeking through the thick clouds twinkled on Ellies tears. Your heart constantly stung for her. She hasn’t stopped crying since…

“Can we stop here?” Ellie said while avoiding to look at you, blinking back the tears and wiped her wet nose.

“Of course, babe. Do you need anything?” You held your hand out, gesturing a comfort of warmth to her cold fingertips.

“No… no. I’m sorry, i’m a fucking mess.”

You wish that she would stop apologising for her grief. That night they all came back without Joel tore your soul, and even more so for Ellie. They were everything, and now, it’s disappeared to dust.

Her voice was shaky, wavering about from the flowing tears. She told you that most nights she couldn’t sleep, and you could tell from her dark eye-bags circling like a haunted shadow. Her knuckles were bruised and bled from the amount of times she punched the cabin walls, waking you up from your slumber and having to hold her while she broke down, crumbling into a shell of herself.

She wanted to stay strong for everyone around her, especially you.

You are her last hope, if there really is one.

“Hey, come here Ellie. There’s a pretty nice patch of grass. Lay on me, if you’d like?”

Ellie sniffed and weakly nodded. You put your backpack down and placed a blanket on the soft grass. It was so quiet that you would easily be able to hear clickers or runners here. Not that you were too worried, all of your focus turned to Ellie now.

You patted your hand to your thighs, then she put the back of her head on that spot. She was still shy to look at you and realise herself that she was shaking and crying away. You just softly stroked her hair, placing a strand of it to the back of her warm ears. Your nails slightly gliding on her forehead, wiping the sweat from her eyebrows. It took a while, but you could tell that Ellie was a bit more relaxed now. The tension on her neck relaxed, sinking deeper into your white dress. It was great that now the sun was more intense, it created an angelic aura around the both of you. So calming in the eye of the storm.

“I wish he was… here.” Ellie sharply exhaled. Whenever she tried to mention Joel it felt like being stabbed in the chest. You could almost feel that pain digging and carving into you, Ellie must feel it ten times the amount.

“I know, i know.” You whispered, still stoking her hair. Normally she gets overstimulated by this but today, you suppose, she wants to get lost in the present moment.

“Oh can you roll me a cigarette please Ellie?” You thought it would be another distraction. She muttered to herself when the light breeze was blowing some of the tobacco away, you laughed subtly.

“You laughing at me?” She lifted her head up to you for a second, concentrating on the roll. You almost couldn’t tell if she was taken back by your expression.

“Not at you!” You chuckled again, trying to lighten the mood. You traced your index finger and swooped it down her button nose. She smiled the tiniest bit you almost couldn’t see it, but that made your face gleam. Your eyes glistened in the golden sun, gazing at the world, your world, her.

“Hey! I almost dropped it!” You wiped her tear and rubbed your sleeve against her damp nostrils.

“Get those boogers away. My little baby, hmmm?” You hummed. You loved mocking her, it’s not as frequent as it was before the incident, but still brings a little joy to your conversations.

“Fuck sake, I’m not a baby. Darling.”

She licked the paper and smoothed out the edges, creating a perfect cigarette.

“This is why I’m with you.” You said to her as she lit it with the lighter you handed to her.

“For smoking?” Ellie almost chocked on the tar hitting her lungs.

“No! Not just that!” You reached across and gave a gentle tap on her kneecap.

“Ellie. I know you don’t want me to mention anything. But I want to tell you that i’m here for the long run. I could get infected, captured by the WLF, or fall off a goddamn horse and break my neck. But please, please know…”

You inhaled the cigarette and picked a couple of lavender and daffodils that were planted next to you, and handed them to her. Her eyes stared intensely into yours, not breaking eye contact, barely blinking.

“If you’re okay with it, you’re stuck with me. I wont leave your side, however you chose to deal with things. Giving up on you is not an option, I will always be here.”

You could see her pupils dilate and her breathing quicken a little. If she had any remaining tears, they were blinked back faster than anything.

“… Thank you, baby.”

She sat up and you hugged her, she gripped onto your waist as you cozily placed your face into the side of her neck, nuzzling in and lightly kissing the soft skin. She chuckled, similar to how you did earlier, it tickled her but you know secretly that she enjoys the sensation.

Ellie then placed both of her hands on your cheeks, feeling the radiating warmth onto your jaw. She kissed you vibrantly. Her pale lips collided onto yours and the world stopped spinning. She hasn’t kissed you in weeks, sure, a little peck on the nose but not a full on make-out. It almost felt as magical as the first time, you soaked it all in. You didn’t want to be too passionate or seductive with her during this vulnerable time, in case it was an overload of emotions for her.

“I know i’ve been all over the place.” Ellie breathed heavily, releasing from the kiss and breaking the heat forming between you.

Ellie swallowed loudly, licking her top lip.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here.”

You didn’t dare to venture further into her meaning, you can do that when she’s ready. You knew her boundaries and boiling points.

“Oh, Ellie.” Now you could feel yourself tearing up, the heat of nervousness flushed the tips of your ears and your heart started to beat irregularly, thumping.

Thumping.

Ellie leant in and rubbed your nose with her. Feeling the dampness and skin flushed from her previous tears.

“Who else? Just you, angel.”

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

This was extremely intense, and you both couldn’t hold back for a second longer. Waiting for the tension to die would take a lifetime. Just fucking do it.

Your tongues swirled from the brewing heat evaporating your goosebumped skin. You’ve never done French kissing before, but you might’ve as well be fluent in the erotic language. To feel her pressing grip onto your throat, you knew that she was more than ready to devour you, right here, in the outside.

Oh, to claim you.

What happened next? Let your imagine run wild, babygirl.

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #fanfic #fanfiction #the last of us 2 #tlou fanfiction #tlou2 #ellie x reader #ellie x you

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mxlktxa · 8 months

Text

𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘰𝘴

𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘧!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦, 𝘫𝘰𝘦𝘭 (𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥), 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢 (𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥)

𝘤𝘸; !!!𝘔𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘚/𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘚 𝘖𝘍 𝘚𝘜𝘐𝘊𝘐𝘋𝘈𝘓 𝘛𝘏𝘖𝘜𝘎𝘏𝘛𝘚/𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘕𝘊𝘐𝘌𝘚!!!, 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘭𝘧, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴/𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴/𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

𝘸𝘤; 1.7𝘬, 9.5𝘬 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝘵𝘭𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

Cold and beyond exhausted. That’s all Ellie had really felt as of late. Of course, livid was also in the picture but not as prominent as the others. It had been weeks since she was forced to watch the dirty blonde bash Joel’s skull in. Weeks since she watched the very man she cared for get brutally taken from the nasty world she had to stay on. The only thing stopping her from following right behind him now was how disappointed she knew Joel would be if she did follow as well as you.

Here you were at the very moment walking into her little home, a small trail of snow from beneath your boots melting away slowly but surely on the mat by the front door. She stared at you from her bed, biting her nails and the skin around them, legs bouncing up and down, and mind seeming to calm down with the ‘I should leave. Track them down,’ and the ‘Do I stick around or not? Should I stick around or not?’

“Ellie,” you came off as angelic and soft, something Ellie wasn’t exactly used to from you. It almost made her uncomfortable. Your usual demeanor was you being an absolute nut case, always loud, always happy, always… annoying, “Ellie, I brought you some food. It’s just some pasta I made with Maria,” the medium-sized Tupperware was placed on the coffee table, fogging up on the inside seeming to indicate that it was still warm, a fresh meal.

Ellie only stared at the meal, glancing to you and back to the food as quickly as possible to avoid your freakishly gloomy eyes. You sat on the couch across from her, not wanting to invade her space, though in your head you already had done so by entering her home without any permission. Little did you know, Ellie didn’t mind it.

“I know you haven't eaten. Just… Just one bite, yeah? That’s all,” you were nearly crying already, but you kept that strong and calm composure nobody knew you could hold up in the first place.

“Don’t do that,” the freckled, pale teen got up from her bed, shuffling over to you. More specifically the opposite side of the couch, still avoiding contact with you, “You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine.”

Your head hung low, feeling as if looking at Ellie would turn her into dust or offend her, “Yeah, no, sorry. Uhm, I’m just… Agh, sorry,” playing off your sorrow for a laugh, Ellie reached for the food you brought to her. You watched in your peripheral as Ellie had slowly ate the cooking you worked so hard on with Maria. As much as the angry girl wanted to, she couldn’t bring herself to tell you that she was going absolutely nuts over the food.

You both sat in an odd silence, Ellie eating quietly while you got up to begin cleaning and organizing her small home. She hadn’t picked up after herself for so long it was starting to get really bad, but you understood. You probably got a little carried away as Ellie had to put a hold on her eating to stop you, “Please, stop. You don’t have to—,” Ellie paused as your eyes had finally connected for the first time tonight, “It’s fine.”

“No, yeah, I’m just… I wanted do a little something nice is all. Make you a little more comfortable,” you nodded, eager to look away and proceed with the cleaning.

Ellie started putting the food up, having made it through at least half of the dinner. You cleared your throat, offering to put up the food and Ellie agreed, staring at you as tou took care of the task. She admired how you still seemed a bit happy and was so grateful. It almost made her sick alongside jealous. You were just so helpful and grateful, but evem Ellie could tell you were just trying to hide how much Joel’s death had also taken it’s toll on you. She knew it was bad but didn’t know how bad it was.

“How do you do it?” Ellie mumbled, “How do you manage to hide everything you’re actually feeling?” Ellie let years fall from her eyes for what she swore was the hundredth time today. You walked back to the couch, immediately hugging Ellie, furthurmore letting your own tears fall and that happy-go-lucky façade fall. It was so bad that you couldn’t even answer her and Ellie had followed suit in absolutely bawling, hugging you so tight you nearly couldn’t breathe.

“Oh, Ellie,” you whispered, still holding onto her while she lossened her grip on you, “I’m a fucking wreck. In reality, I am so hungover that I’m surprised I’m even awake right now. I don’t eat either, I barely sleep. I just put on this attitude so no one tries to console me. I don’t need it,” you finally answered her, shaking your head while leaving the comforting hold you had on each other.

Ellie grew even more furious with how you didn’t want anyone to comfort you, scanning your body language and expression. You shrugged, wiping your face clean. You sighed, hugging your knees to your chest and peering at the girl, “Els?” you called to her, “I saw a sign that said falling rocks,” Ellie furrowed her brows, questioning your words.

“What?”

“It was weird because I tried it and it doesn't,” you shook your head, watching as the confused teen gradually realized what you had just done. Ellie scoffed, a weak grin forming.

“You’re terrible,” she huffed, looking down at her hands, “Wanna know a fun fact?” Ellie thought of one almost on the spot, watching how gently you nodded, “Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary.” You grew worried, lifting your head, “Yep. It runs in your jeans,” Ellie’s green eyes looked to you through her gorgeous eyelashes, chuckling at how she could damn near see your brain connecting the dots.

“Oh, you goober.”

“It’s a good one, you have to admit.”

“Yeah, yeah. It was.”

Silence took over once more. Now you and Ellie were coming down from your little fits of laughter, getting more and more comfortable with the silence. Okay, you both lied, looking to one another, obviously going to ask one another a question. She squinted at you, raising a brow, “What were you gonna ask?”

“If I could spend the night. I can sleep on the couch,” you fixed your face, now curious about what Ellie was going to ask, “What about you?”

“I was gonna ask if we,” she paused, the question caught in her throat and mocking her, calling her a pervert and ridiculous for even thinking to put those words together, knowing the request was going to seem odd, “If we could just have a night to ourselves,” her question changed her words, just wishing to form a different connection with you, thinking it could lead to something else to distract the both of you.

Ellie felt like she had just spoken such vile words, heart racing while half of her begged you to say yes and the other hoping, praying that you would be grossed out and leave. You being the angel you are, silently took Ellie to her bed, waiting for her to get all comfy until she gave you a look that let you know she felt safe.

“I’ll be on the couch, okay? Do you want the light on or off?” you asked, barely even looking at her at this time.

“Off, please. It’s fine. If it’s off,” the auburn-haired beauty nodded, watching you trudge to the couch, wanting to scream at you that she wanted you in her bed instead, “The couch isn't very comfortable… by the way,” she spoke hurriedly before you could even reach the coffee table.

You veered around with a slight grin that made Ellie's heart warm, “Yeah, I know. I just thought I'd give you space,” you occupied the space on the other side of her, calmly getting under the covers, though you were excited to be sleeping beside her now.

“Please don't. I just… It's cold,” she somewhat lied. Ellie could handle the cold but she was almost going nuts over the fact of you keeping her company just as you were.

She watched as you got situated beside her, still avoiding touching her and facing away from her. You sighed gently, warming up beneath the covers. Ellie did the same, facing the back of your head as she did so.

‘Please, look at me,’ she thought to herself, hand rising to tap your shoulder. As if on cue you turned to the freckled girl, tears streaming down your face, “C’mere,” Ellie pulled you in for a hug, hiding your face in her chest. You wrapped both your arms and legs around her, wishing that you'd tell her how you felt sooner.

“I miss him, Ellie. So fucking much.”

“I know, I know. Me too.”

You’d spent fifteen minutes whining about about, Ellie doing the same, it was as if your crying had triggered hers. Then you both lay in the bed, brains figuring out another stupid pun to change the subject and break the silence.

“Why was the baby ant confused?”

“What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?”

Your voices started up in unison, leaving you both giggling, waiting for one another to finish the joke, “No, go ahead. Why was the baby ant confused?” Ellie could only stare at your lips as you answered.

“Because all his uncles were ants,” you bit your lip to stifle a laugh.

“Oh, shut up,” she snorted, rolling her eyes, “Now, what do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?”

“I don’t know. What?” that smile persisted, Ellie still staring at it but this time not with envy but with a grateful attitude.

“A thesaurus.”

“And you thought mine was bad,” your eyes rolled playfully, giving Ellie an urge to laugh even harder than she already was.

Ellie's eyes scanned the expression you held, a sigh leaving her. All she hoped was that you too wouldn't be gone in the morning. That and hoped that the other feelings she was currently hiding weren’t just so she could distract herself. Lord knows your feelings weren’t to distract you. But they sure did grow stronger. If only now was the right time. Who were you kidding you couldn't admit your feelings to her ever?

You both couldn't bear to lose two people in such a short time.

#𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ⋆˚✿˖°#the last of us #the last of us p2 #the last of us fanfiction #tlou #tlou2 #tlou fanfiction #ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x f!reader #ellie x you #ellie x f!reader #ellie imagine #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #the last of us imagine

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unwillingwriter · 11 months

Text

Treatment

Pairing: Jumin x 707 (Jumciel) (Juciel)

A/N: Also on A03 - I was tired when I wrote this.

Description: When Jumin first came home from his horrid day he didn't question why Luciel was right there at the door, he didn't question why the redhead dragged him to the living room and practically demanded him to sit down, he didn't question why he had a mischievous gleam in his eyes– already used to it by now– he didn't question why his partner had left the room in such a gleeful way and returned with the biggest grin on his face holding a set of nail polish.

He didn't question it.

Jumin is a man of natural intelligence and foresight— he mentally prepared himself for the day before him, ready to deal with the headache that is both his job and his father's unholy relationships that he seems— without a fail— to get into every time Jumin takes his eyes off him for more than a second. It was a real pain really. How long would this one go? He wondered endlessly everyday.

How much missing money will it take for him to notice?.

Jumin was tired of the same old routine it was tiring. He’ll never understand his father and his obsession for women; they all seem to be the same when his father picks them.

When will he get—

“Jumin.”

Jumin straightens at the sound of his name, his onyx orbs moving towards the voice.

Oh right. Back to how Jumin usually knows and plans out his day.

He didn’t see this or plan this. He didn’t see or come up with the scene that was happening right now, he was sitting on his couch with Elizabeth The 3rd on his lap mindlessly petting her his free hand currently in the hands of a hacker.

A hacker who was dead set on painting his nails perfectly without any mistakes and errors.

“Quit thinking about your dad, you get twitchy when you do— and stop petting Elly! You’re gonna get polish on her fur, then you’re gonna blame me!.” Luciel said a hint of annoyance laced in his voice, his red brows drawn together in concentration— a look Jumin always admired even before the two were dating. Jumin remembered the countless times he mentally and sometimes physically smacked himself when he found himself admiring Luciel not understanding.

The raven hair man sighs moving his hand off the white cat— Elizabeth taking that as her cue to get off her owner, stretching her body out before jumping off his lap strutting away.

‘She’s so sassy.’ Jumin recalls Luciel saying when he had first met Elizabeth The 3rd.

Indeed she was.

When Jumin first came home from his horrid day he didn't question why Luciel was right there at the door, he didn't question why the redhead dragged him to the living room and practically demanded him to sit down, he didn't question why he had a mischievous gleam in his eyes– already used to it by now– he didn't question why his partner had left the room in such a gleeful way and returned with the biggest grin on his face holding a set of nail polish.

He didn't question it.

Jumin looked at his other hand that was already painted to perfection taking in the dull shine of the polish on his nails– black mixed with midnight blue– a combination that worked pretty well.

He has to admit, Luciel has done a remarkable job.

“Aaannnnd done! Haha! Your pinkies are awfully hard for no reason. What's wrong with them?.”

“I'm Wolverine,” Jumin says cooly, carefully moving his hand away from his boyfriend blowing onto the polish to dry them as Luciel closed the tiny vial.

Luciel looked up towards Jumin.

“Was that a joke?.”

Jumin stops blowing, his mind halting for a moment. Was– was it bad?.

Jumin side-eyes the hacker.

“Was it ominous?.” he questions.

“It wasn't the best but you're cute for trying,” Luciel responded, giving Jumin a reassuring smile.

“Hmm,” he responded, looking back at his painted nails. They weren't too bad. Jumin found himself being quite fond of the outcome…

“It's okay Ju I still like it!.”

Of course he did.

Even Luciel found the beauty in horrible jokes, he is the one who told them 90% of the time.

The hacker stared at Jumin Raising a brow.

“Why do I feel like the universe just insulted me?.”

“Don't be dramatic Seven.”

“I'm not!.”

Leave it to Seven to make Jumin feel better after a tiresome day.

Jumin listened to the one-sided argument allowing his love to be himself.

#drabble #jumin han #jumin x 707 #mm jumin #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger 707 #707 headcanons #god 707 #luciel mystic messenger #saeyoungmysticmessenger #mystic messenger #Jumciel #juciel #jucifer #Fluff #mm fluff

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frannyzooey · 5 months

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I feel like I’ve been following the SDLN crew for nearly the amount of time passed in the story (this is not a jab at your posting speed lol). Something about a fic that’s just two people for so long, and then a third… it’s soo intimate. Being faced with the prospect of a new community both puts me at ease and terrifies me. I love them and wish them safe passage.

Also, even before realizing it was Tess, I loved the characterization of the lead woman so much. What a strong and warm person, reaching out to offer help to another woman who could be in trouble. It was such a soft strength rarely seen in TLOU universe fics. Thanks for writing ❤️

You hit the nail on the head - just two people, alone, for that long...you would become incredibly in tune with the other one, and it would be such an intimate relationship, no matter if it turned romantic or not. I sort of imagine them as one unit, so in tune with each other and having shared (by now) so many incredibly vulnerable moments/things with each other...it would be both hard to leave a place like that, but also needed because to be very honest, I think total isolation without the ability to leave is probably a means for insanity, lol.

I am SO happy you liked Tess! I was BEYOND nervous to write her, and that is where I was on my knees for @the-scandalorian and @bageldaddy to help me because 1) they are both incredible writers and sources of support, but 2) their versions of Tess are so fucking good!? I took a ton of inspiration for her characterization from those two and I owe them everything. ❤ I also really loved watching the show and seeing the many sides to her: hard, calculating, ruthless...but also reasonable, willing to act with logic...and also so feminine in the flashback, and so caring when we see her with Ellie? And the HOPE - when she becomes frustrated with Joel for not being able to have a glimmer of it?

Her role in this story has been planned from the start, based entirely on her portrayal in the show and I was so excited to finally get there!

"Soft strength" is everything to me and I am so, so, so happy you saw it in there ❤

Thank you so much for reading!

#short days ask

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chanstopher · 1 year

Note

The 2nd episode!!! 😭😭😭 Bella Ramsey is the PERFECT Ellie. The snarky dialogue, the cursing, her playing around and being so curious of her environment but then being scared shitless and immediately following Joel and Tess without question. I felt her fear in the museum in my bones. Also LOVED the change of the horde overrunning the capitol building instead of the soldiers. It was so much more poignant because we got to experience Tess' dying moment from her perspective and it was her literally coming face to face with her own fate and that of humanity as a whole while still desperately clutching onto that little spark of hope for a better future. She chose to sacrifice herself and put her faith in Ellie as well as Joel but for a moment she actually had to reckon with the possibility that her lighter wouldn't work and she'd end up turning into the monster that was about to consume her. But the spark came to life at the last moment. The whole scene was so smybolic and exceptionally executed as well as acted. I bow down to Anna Torv. Also "I never ask you for anything, not to feel the way I felt" THE PAIN 🥲 And "That's not my fucking home" was so powerful. Tess and Joel lived in the world before the outbreak and remember it. She was saying that not just the QZ but the world as it is now is not her home and never can be again because it's just death and hopelessness. So even if she wasn't infected she could never go back because there's nothing to live for there, just empty survival. The only way lies ahead and choosing to believe in the hope of Ellie's immunity. That's what I took from it at least. I feel that Tess' character fully got her moment and the significance she deserved. Also love the flashbacks in the beginning from pre-outbreak giving context to how it all went down. It adds so much to the story. Ok I'm done with my ramblings now. This show is unreal. Oh one last thing: the infected all look INCREDIBLE??? Holy shit makeup/prosthetics/CGI team 👏👏👏

bella is SO perfect, and so true to game ellie im loving show ellie more and more every episode. and having ellie and tess bond just for another person she starts to care about to get ripped away just to REALLY plant how much joel is going to mean to her the more they're together is SO good im glad they added more tess. anna torv was absolutely amazing. crazy how we keep having perfect casting and then get the characters killed just so the emotional impact of everything constantly feels SO raw. i think anna brought a lot of real emotion to tess that wasn't necessarily there in the games, it made her death so much more impactful.

the flashback openings are so good, really nailing the fact that this is hopeless, that there is no way out of it. and just how much of a miracle ellie really is. and the prof was so amazing she really nailed her role and absolutely upped just how crazy and terrifying the whole situation really is.

The infected is SO game accurate. terrifying and absolutely gorgeous. the whole desgin team is literally doing SUCH an insane job of making everything look so exact to the game and so lived in and realistic. i really hope they win so many awards they deserve so much for the effort that is so clear.

i also love the tiny game nods, like joel moving the bookcase and boosting tess up. im constantly sitting there like

#drm.ask #anon #dreamy tlou asks #thank you for coming back ilu <3 #long post #not skz

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savannahsdeath · 8 months

Note

Ellie with a fem reader girlfriend that loves to get her nails done ?

ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! please, kinda loser!ellie?

writers note: GUYSS ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!🗣️🗣️🗣️also im not a nail person so its just a bunch of thoughts i got about it🫣

you were sitting in the nail salon, just like evey month, pointlessly clicking something on your mobile with one hand while the manicurist worked on your other one. a soft glow emanated from the phone's screen as your fingers gently scrolled through the contents. the quiet humming from the nail salon's machinery provided a soothing background, and you let out a sigh as you glanced around the room. a few other women were scattered around, with their own manicurists tending to them. you caught sight of several painted designs in various colors on their nails.

the manicurist in question is a middle-aged woman with a kind and patient demeanor. she's not the most talkative, but she knows exactly how you like your nails done by now and that saved you some time.

you looked down at a text from ellie, asking you where you are. of course you warned her where you're going, but she never bothers to remember.

you could reply with a simple 'in the salon' message, but that wouldn't satisfy her. you could also add 'i will be home soon.' to alleviate her worries, but then she would respond with 'why aren't you home now?' so... maybe a creative approach is necessary.

you sighed and typed out a response; "i'm at the place you always forget about."

ellie's response came in mere seconds later.

"yeah, right." she replied. "sorry, remind me where you are again?"

you shook your head, this was a very common occurrence now. it was getting a bit annoying, to be honest. you knew she had good intentions, but her forgetfulness really tested your patience sometimes.

you typed out another response. "i'm at the nail salon. the same one i always go to."

instead of an answer you got a cash transfer from her with a title; 'just needed an excuse to text you'.

she may be your girlfriend for almost two years now, yet she was so bad at making small talks while not being face to face. it's not the first time she did something like that, she always explain it with 'it's a lot more important for me to have a conversation with you than to keep that $50'.

"can't you just... message me without any reason?" you always reply that.

and in answer to that, she just shrugs. So you spared her that question this day.

you texted her again, hoping she'll feel the slight taunting in your statement; "well played, ellie. i appreciate your honesty and free money".

as you sent the message, you were thinking about how this would likely play out. ellie had quite the prideful side to her. you knew she would take offense to your comment and send back a witty response in return.

sure enough, a few more seconds passed, and another text appeared, titled, "payback: i knew where you were the whole time".

you couldn't help but scoff and chuckle at ellie's response. she may be a bit forgetful at times, but she's very much aware of her situation now.

you typed out another text, still keeping up the playful banter with ellie. "mhm, i guess you're not so forgetful after all, huh?"

as if her pride was challenged by your words, ellie shot back quickly with another text. "no, i'm not. and to prove it, i remember all the embarrassing moments you've ever had".

oh, oh no. oh no no no. you immediately regretted having said those words. this could be very bad. you had no clue how ellie would respond, or the embarrassing moments she would bring up. maybe you were better off forgetting. time to change the subject. you sent another text to ellie, hoping to distract her. "how has your day been, ellie?"

ellie's response took a surprising turn. "it's been okay, but something you just reminded me of just made it great".

you wondered what ellie meant by that, and you couldn't help but simply ask her. you typed out; "what did i just remind you of?"

your heart started beating faster as you started to realize what ellie was going to say. you sent another text to ellie quickly. "don't, ellie. please don't say it".

ellie took what felt like an eternity to respond, probably fighting her cute and nice side. finally, her text response came in. "remember that time when we were in college..."

you felt your heart sink into your stomach as ellie's text completed itself. she remembered exactly what you were trying to forget. the memory came back to you, that humiliating moment from so long ago. your face flushed in embarrassment as you remembered what ellie was talking about, and you sent a quick text to ellie in response. "stop right there. i don't wanna hear it".

"oh, good to know that you do remember it" she answered, her message followed by a silly emoji she always uses ironically. she knew you felt the urge to throw your phone across the room eveytime you saw it.

you didn't have a proper response, so you decided to just take it all in with no protest. no point in making things worse by trying to prove otherwise. "yep. i remember."

ellie laughed softly behind her phone screen.

you typed out a text to ellie. "just wait till i get you back for this, els."

you were sure that ellie knew about the smirk on your face right now. she probably had one on her too. you couldn't help but wonder what your manicurist thinks you're doing.

"oh, you wouldn't want to mess with me now" ellie's another message appeared on your screen. "not when i'm so nice, waiting for you in the parking lot for half an hour now"

aw, that's so sweet.

but the realization hit you suddenly.

ellie was parked outside, just waiting for you. she must've known you were going here all along, and she just used her forgetfulness as an excuse to taunt you.

you typed out another quick text to ellie, while trying to not look suspicious at the nail salon. "be right out. and, ellie, i hate you"

your manicurist laughed softly as you quickly paid her (with money from el's transfer) and got up from your spot. ellie was outside, leaning against the side of her car, with a smug smile. you just rolled your eyes, and got into her car. she turned to look at you as she drove out of the parking lot, and said with a grin and a slight wag of her eyebrows. "so... remember when you..."

you quickly covered her mouth with one of your hands before she could say anything stupid. ellie, of course, struggled and tried to get her mouth free. she was much stronger so she pulled your hand away but didn't let go of it. instead, she started checking out every one of your nails.

you watched as ellie inspected your nails with her expert knowledge of nail care (feel my sarcasm). as she continued with this, you managed to get a hold of one of her hands. a quick struggle followed as ellie tried to regain control of it. you were just about to get in a full arm wrestling match when you both heard a loud honk from the car behind you. the driver was getting agitated with you for slowing down the traffic. ellie rolled her eyes and put both of her hands on the steering wheel.

you frowned, expecting some more reaction (compliments) from her. she paid for these, after all.

you waited nervously for ellie's reaction to the new designs on your nails, expecting some words of praise and such. instead, she just drove the car forward while glancing at your nails once in a while.

you looked at her confused, and asked a question while keeping an eye on the road. "ellie, don't you have anything to say about my nails?" her opinion was actually important to you.

after a few minutes of driving, ellie stopped at a red light. she glanced at your nails one last time, and finally responded. "they're great, as always. but why would you do these two in the same color and just change the shade?" she pointed at your pinky and middle finger. "it ruins the whole colorful conception."

you laughed, knowing she's no one to speak about 'conceptions', especially in the manicure world. "do you really not see a difference between pink and purple? it's two completely different colors."

ellie remained silent, looking at your nails. she then turned her eyes to you with a curious stare, before replying with a straight face. "pink and purple? these two colors are exactly the same, just a different shade."

you raised your eyebrow at ellie's response. "are you being serious right now? they are completely different, like blue and green" you pointed at them as you said that, trying to hold back your laughter.

ellie finally broke her straight face, as she too started chuckling. "i'm honestly jealous." she then added a little smirk as she spoke. "i have to keep my nails short for you."

you raised your eyebrow again, trying to understand what she meant by that. "for me?" you repeated back.

ellie nodded and gave you a sly smile, her eyes glowing while doing so. "yes. for you."

realization hit you, as you finally began to understand her response. your face flushed with embarrassment while you turned your gaze away from her.

ellie laughed at your visible embarrassment. she turned to you with a smug smile, not believing that she got you so red so easily.

you turned back towards ellie, who had just started talking. "your also won't survive for too long. not when they'll be digging into my skin every night." she teased, getting a little bit too enthusiastic with her response.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #reqs open #ellie the last of us #nails #fem!reader

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julemmaes · 3 years

Text

Honey - part one

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: today I found a list of prompts that I just l o v e d and I decided to write an Elorcan short story cause I really really love them and I just don’t write them enough, so please enjoy this fluff turned mild angst and then again fluff I guess.

masterlist

Word count: 3,073

Elide would have loved to sleep. To be able to put on the soft plaid pyjamas that Lysandra had given her for her birthday only a few days before and slip under the warm covers - the General Psychology paper sitting in front of her as that black dash at the end of the sentence flashed was her only enemy at that moment.

She huffed, closing her eyes for a moment, enjoying the soft music coming out of the computer. She didn't know the song, because the playlist she was listening to had been sent to her by Lorcan and she hadn't had time to scroll through the song titles to memorize the ones she liked best. She couldn't even hear the words, just the soothing melody, but she could guess that it was a love song.

After all, every playlist Lorcan made for her to study with consisted mainly of sappy, romantic songs. Quite the opposite from what Lorcan himself represented, with his trademark grumpy, pissed-off attitude.

She giggled wearily, sliding even lower into the pillows as she thought about what their friends would say if they found out that her roommate looked for chill, love songs in his spare time just to help her out.

Elide never had too much time on her hands, always busy between university and the two jobs she worked to support herself, and when she could actually relax she never thought about finding new music, it was far too much work and tiring. But Lorcan wasn't studying and the shifts at the toy shop or the animal shelter were very often lonely and quiet, so he had time to listen to music for hours on end without anyone interrupting him. Only later, when he would have free time and nothing to do but play video games with Aelin and Rowan, would he get on the computer and create yet another playlist with the songs he thought she would like the most.

She was about to fall asleep when she heard Lorcan's scream and several alarms going off all over the neighborhood.

"No, fuck!"

She snapped her eyes open as she sat up and was surprised to find the room shrouded in darkness, the only source of light coming from her computer. She frowned, reaching for the switch and trying to turn the light on and off. Nothing.

She closed her eyes again, banging her head against the headboard.

This was the third blackout in a week. She couldn't take any more. And she could only hope that the alarms would all be turned off within the hour, because the last time, the building next door had taken over three hours to turn off the last one, causing everyone to lose hours of sleep in the middle of the night. She was just waiting for the dogs' barking to start as well.

Her plan to go to sleep early dissolved like candyfloss in water.

"Lorcan? Everything okay?" she said loud enough for the boy to hear. When no answer came she shook her head, huffing.

Elide looked for the phone among the blankets so she could turn on the torch, but she couldn't find it anywhere. She placed the computer on the floor, getting out of bed and paying attention to where she put her feet, "Where the fuck did I leave it?" she muttered to herself, moving the stuff she had on her desk over to the chair. It wasn't even there. She looked down at the bed again and then touched the pockets of the jeans she'd promised herself she wouldn't take off until she was done studying - nada.

She was about to leave the room when the door jerked open, "Ellie?" the computer screen was pointing too low for it to give enough light for Lorcan to see her, "Are you asleep?"

"Nop," she said from across the room, "I can't find my phone."

Lorcan sighed, "Mine's dead."

"Shit." she cursed, she wasn't a fan of the dark, "Do you remember where we put the candles last time?" she asked walking tentatively towards the doorway.

Suddenly, the music stopped and the computer made the worst sound it could have made at that moment, shutting down for good. She didn't worry about the paper that she had to finish, she knew it would be there once she turned it back on.

"I can't believe it," Lorcan muttered. They were plunged into darkness. "Can you make it over here without killing yourself?"

Elide was trying not to panic. She knew there was nothing in the dark, but that stupid childish fear had never really left her and her heart was beating wildly in her chest. It wasn't anything crippling, but it certainly wasn't a pleasant feeling.

She nodded, realizing then that Lorcan couldn't see her, "Yeah, wait."

"Take my hand."

Elide walked with her arms outstretched forward, moving them to avoid hitting the wardrobe or dresser she kept near the door, but her strategy didn't seem to work as she slammed her side into the latter and knocked half the stuff on it to the floor.

She grunted in pain, bringing both hands to the sore spot, "For fuck's sake."

She heard Lorcan chuckle, "What did you hit?"

"I think the dresser," she whined, then raised her head, as if she could see him, "Where are you?"

He snorted, "I'll try to get there. Stay right where you are."

"Where do you want me to go." Elide frowned, speaking so softly that even she struggled to hear herself over all those alarms. Another chuckle was soon broken by a growl of pain, followed by a series of very colourful swear words that made the girl burst out laughing.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," continued Lorcan, who, by the sound of the various thumps, was probably hopping on one foot, "I think I stepped on one of your stupid earrings."

"Oh, god," Elide wheezed, more out of exasperation than anything else, "pray you didn't break it because I might kill you."

"It's already taken care of that. We'd only be even if I broke it," he said, cursing as he put his foot back on the ground, "Just stand there and I'll try to pick everything up."

Elide couldn't keep the smile off her lips, "I'll help you."

They hadn't realised how close they actually were, because the second she lowered herself to kneel on the ground, her head slammed into something very hard. She grunted in pain again, bringing her hands to her forehead, but burst out laughing soon after. The situation was getting ridiculous.

"Christ, Elide, are you alright? Please tell me that wasn't your head." asked Lorcan immediately, stretching his hands forward.

Elide didn't know what he had wanted to do, probably make sure her head was still in one piece, but what his hands touched certainly wasn't her head. The laughter died in her throat with a broken sound and before Lorcan realised he was palming her, several moments passed. When he too seemed to come to realisation, he let out a squeak and immediately moved his hands away.

Lorcan squeaked.

"Did you just touch my tits?" asked Elide in a whisper. At the sound Lorcan made, Elide's entire body was covered in shivers.

He cleared his throat, "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay." she grinned. Elide managed to sympathize with the darkness in that moment, almost thanking it for hiding what was sure to be the reddest face Lorcan would ever see.

"Are you okay?" he asked her again, "Sorry I didn't mean to knee you in the forehead."

"I think I might have a concussion," she said, deciding to fuck with him.

"Ha ha," he huffed, "very funny."

Elide imagined him frowning more and more, then sighed, "Okay come on, let's go find these damn candles." she pulled herself upright, one hand on her head and the other on her hip, then muttered, "And tomorrow we're going to go buy a supply of electric torches."

She heard him chuckle, "Can you follow me or do I have to hold your hand?"

Without a second thought, she reached out a hand towards where she thought his would be. Only her fingers didn't meet bare skin, but the fabric of Lorcan's sweatpants, who with a surprised yelp took a few steps backwards, "What's that? Are you trying to even the score?" he said amused.

"Please tell me it was anything but your-" the words died in her mouth. She would have rather died and groaned, bringing her hands to her face when he burst out laughing.

"If you wanted to touch all you had to do was ask, babe," he teased.

"Fuck, knock it off," she said throwing a hand forward, at a safe height, and hitting him in the chest with her fist.

He grunted, but grabbed her wrist, finally intertwining his fingers with hers, "Was that so hard?"

She said nothing, but dug her nails into his flesh and that was enough.

She dragged her feet on the floor so she wouldn't risk sticking earrings or anything else in the soles of her feet and when they were finally in the hallway, she didn't worry about where to walk because she was simply following Lorcan. The warmth of his hand clasped in hers was reassuring her greatly.

"How long do you think this will last?" she asked once they reached the kitchen.

"I honestly have no idea," he said. Elide heard the light switch being turned on and then a faint, "Ah, yeah." coming from him.

She giggled, then brought her hand to her mouth as she yawned, "I just wish I could sleep."

"Rough day?" asked Lorcan, opening the hand that was gripping hers. It took her a while to realize that he was silently asking her to let him go. She felt herself flush again for not realizing it right away, and with deep chagrin she pulled her fingers away one by one, immediately missing him.

She nodded, flinching when one of the alarms changed pace, becoming louder and more insistent. She sighed, knowing they were doomed to at least another hour like that, "Classes this morning were boring as hell, but they were important so I spent six hours on books and there was no one at the café this afternoon, which means not getting too tired and not running after every order, but it also means-"

"-no tips. Yes, I know," Lorcan finished for her. She could feel him opening drawers and rummaging through items looking for anything candle-shaped.

"Your day?" she asked, yawning once more.

She heard Lorcan halt, "God, you're exhausted." she didn't answer, so he continued, "Nothing much. They came to adopt one of the newcomers this afternoon though, and I'm pretty positive that family is perfect for that pup."

Elide could hear the smile in his voice.

Lorcan might have seemed like a mean person on the surface, callous. And indeed he was a bit of a jerk if you weren't one of the people he 'put up with', as he always said, but anyone who really knew him could confirm that he was one of the most loyal and trustworthy people ever.

The fact that he worked at an animal shelter and cared about the families to whom the puppies were entrusted or at a toy shop where Elide had often seen him help multiple parents choose the perfect gift were just two of the examples that could be given to prove such a point.

"Good," she murmured.

"Ro's going to kill me," he complained, "We were playing against a bunch of kids online and now they're going to think I quit because we suck."

Elide grinned, "But you guys do suck."

The shuffling sound stopped again, "Say that again. I dare you."

She chuckled, moving a chair and sitting down. She yawned for the third time and furrowed her brow. She didn't like yawning.

"Ellie, what the fuck," Lorcan huffed in disbelief, "help me instead of just sitting there."

She groaned, "You kneed me and I'm dead tired, I have every right to do nothing," she justified herself, "Besides, the light will be back on in a few minutes. Chill out."

"Chill out." he mimicked her voice. Then he cheered, making her gasp, "Found it!"

"Good luck finding the lighter." she whispered, crossing her arms over the table and resting her head on them.

He whistled, "How nice we are tonight," then he closed the drawers slamming them shut one by one and Elide wanted to punch him again for all the noise, "But it doesn't touch me, because it's in my pocket." and then a flame lit up the room just enough for Elide to see his face.

She scowled, "Why do you have a lighter in your pocket?"

The victorious, sly expression Lorcan had had fell away so quickly that for a second Elide thought something had happened or he'd been burned.

She was almost afraid to ask, "Have you started smoking again?"

"No." he answered too quickly.

Elide stood up, throwing her arms in the air, "Lorcan!" she opened her eyes wide, "You quit over three months ago."

He grimaced, "Not really." he spoke so softly she almost didn't hear him.

Her frown deepened, "What do you mean, 'not really'? You're such a dick," she mumbled, shaking her head.

In the meantime he had lit more candles and was arranging them on the kitchen counter, but when he spoke he looked at Elide and she saw that he was holding back from insulting her in turn. "I'm not a dick, I simply didn't tell you that I had resumed..." he trailed off, then huffed, "two weeks after I quit."

Elide opened her mouth wide, "Two we-" then exploded, "Lorcan, it's bad for you. B-a-d." she spelled, drawing the letters in the air with her finger, "Do you understand that if you keep smoking your lungs will turn so black they'll look like ash?"

Lorcan clenched his jaw, "I know, thanks for reminding me."

Elide crossed her arms over her chest, speaking in a strained tone, "Why did you start again? Why didn't you tell me?"

He turned his back to her at that, with the excuse of arranging the candles around the kitchen better, but Elide knew it was because he didn't want to look at her face. He didn't answer.

"Where are they?"

"What?"

"The cigarettes. The packet? Where is it?" she demanded to know, walking up to him.

Lorcan turned, taking a step back when he realised she was less than a metre away from him. He frowned, "I'm not telling you."

Elide's eyes went wide, "Why?"

"Because you'd snap them all," he said in an obvious tone.

She nodded vehemently, "Yes, exactly!"

Then he sighed, "Can we just let it go?"

"Sure, if you want to let it go that you're going to die of cancer and that you've been lying to me the whole time, we can let it go," she said, biting her bottom lip and shaking her head. Then she huffed out a laugh, "You're unbelievable."

"Ellie, listen, I'm not smoking as much as I used to, we're talking about one to two cigarettes a day at most," he tried to reassure her, running a hand through his hair. She could hear it in his tone of voice that he felt guilty and embarrassed, whether it was because he had lied to her or because she had found out she couldn't tell.

With a little more light brightening up the room, Elide realised only then that he was shirtless.

Fuck, she thought. Lorcan with his shirt off was a feast for the eyes.

She quickly shifted her gaze to the floor as the light returned in a flash and she was forced to close her over-sensitive eyes. They heard the tv turn on again and the melody of the video game fill the silence.

"Thank fuck." Lorcan muttered as almost all the alarms went off. Now only the few that had to be turned off manually and the dogs continued their assault on their ears.

When Elide opened her eyes again, she cursed. There was blood on the tiles. She leaned forward, looking down at the crotch of her jeans to make sure it wasn't hers, even though she knew she wasn't on her period. "Lorcan?" she asked hesitantly, then turned her head towards him, not moving her gaze from the floor, "I think you're bleeding."

"What? Oh fuck." he chuckled. Elide looked up at him at that point and saw him leaning on the table with one hand and placing the ankle of his right foot on his left knee. He looked up at her, "Your earring stabbed me."

A laugh bubbled out of her, "I'm sorry."

Lorcan looked into her eyes and his shone, "Don't worry, I'll clean it up."

"I'll help if you want." she offered, then yawned and cursed in the middle of it.

He snorted, one corner of his mouth curled up, "Nah, go to bed. I'll take care of it."

Then she let go a whine, "Oh my god my room is going to look like a crime scene if you managed to get blood in here too."

Lorcan smiled tightly, "I'll take care of that too."

Elide nodded, admiring her friend's bare torso and arms one last time.

If Lorcan noticed, he didn't show it, and Elide was grateful for that moment of discretion, they'd had enough of awkward moments for that evening.

Warning him that she was going to bed, she went into the bathroom, undressing very slowly and slipping into her soft pyjamas. When she returned to her room, she noticed a wet spot on the floor and smiled, realising that he had started cleaning from her bedroom. She shouted a simple "goodnight" to him and without waiting for an answer slipped under the covers, ready for a deep and well-deserved night's sleep.

Just a second before she could fall asleep, the door opened slightly and she heard what could only be Lorcan place something on her bedside table. She couldn't open her eyes or bring herself to talk in that moment to ask him what the hell he was doing, but when she woke up the next morning, two packets of cigarettes and the lighter he'd used the night before sat there.

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)

@maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @ladywitchling @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @anne-reads @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @simping4bookboisngrls @thewayshedreamed

#elorcan #tog #throne of glass #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #roommates au #elorcan roommates au #honey #elide x lorcan #tog fic #fluff #elorcan fluff

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paintingcrimsons · 4 years

Text

Slow Down

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

A/N: so um this was the most random idea I’ve had in my entire life but honestly I was thinking that someone has got to stumble upon something like this since they existed before the outbreak right?

There are no spoilers for part 2 as I’ve set this for before that all happens!

Warnings: NSFW, hardcore smut, fingering, oral, use of sex toys (trust me it makes sense once you read it), pretty much porn without plot, violence, blood mention, in charge Ellie, swearing.

One last warning, this is literally pure filth, so, good luck.

Ellie had always thought she was going to end up dying, alone, with no one by her side. But now looking at you, she knew that wasn’t the case anymore.

She really admired you. The way you smiled even in the toughest times, or your thoughtfulness to others even though they showed their dislike for you. This was it, for Ellie, she was completely enamoured with you.

Even though she knew you could take care of yourself, she was always worried. Worried that you might get bit by an infected, or severely hurt by another group that were taking no prisoners along the way through your patrols. Ellie’s heart would always stop when you ran out into the line of fire, it was almost as if time would stop when you would do that.

This is why currently during the patrols that you had with one another, she was always ready, overprotective and twitching, ready to fight at any moment. You, however, were relaxed, a spring in your step as you walked down the rocky pathway leading into the street. You looked back, watching as your girlfriend adjusted the backpack strap on her shoulder. Her eyes caught yours with a glint of something you couldn’t recognise.

You gave her a small smile as you turned back around, carrying on as you entered the street. Your eyes trailed over the plants now starting to overtake the buildings that were once filled with bustling people wanting to buy things to decorate their homes, new clothes or...

What the fuck is that? Looking over, you notice a shop that looks completely out of place for what the other buildings were for. You squinted, looking at the name of the shop, jogging over to see what it was.

“Dark Desire...” You mumbled, frowning at the odd name of the shop. Looking back, you see Ellie trying to catch up with you, in which you grin at her before shoving open the door to the store.

The door opened with a loud bang, causing a runner to yell at the sound, your head snapped to the sound but before you could grab your gun out of its holster, the runner was on top of you, arms flailing at you as you held it by its chest in attempt to shove it off of you.

Suddenly, two loud bangs went off, blood spurting across your face as the runner’s face had exploded from the impact of the bullet, for it to then go limp in your arms. Shoving it off of you, you stood, your hands on your knees to try and catch your breath. “Holy shit.” You breathed out, your voice weak and breathless.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Ellie’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you to look up at her, noticing her concerned but angry expression.

“I know it was reckless and stupid and I should’ve been more careful-.” You started, before a sigh came from Ellie, stopping you from finishing your sentence.

“Look it’s fine, just...” Her voice trailed off as she looked down, kicking her feet against the floor in embarrassment. “Just be more careful okay? We’re not in Jackson so nothing is safe at the moment.”

Nodding, you two exchanged a look without anymore words before you looked away, wondering where the hell you were. Your eyes trailed from the provocative but ripped pictures to the lingerie that was still in the store. Your eyes widened as you felt your face get bright red, knowing exactly what the store was now. Rubbing the back of your neck you decided to act as though you were looking for supplies rather than looking at what the store was about.

“Y/N,” Ellie spoke as she looked around, a slight smirk on her face. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Your head snapped up. “No, no! That’s not it!” Feeling your whole face go red in embarrassment as you waved your arms about as if that would distract her from what was inside the store. “I just didn’t know what it was and I wanted to check it out!”

Ellie’s smile grew as she didn’t reply, turning and walking deeper into the store. You decided not to follow her, worried that you would embarrass yourself even more which would cause her to tease you when you got back to Jackson. Groaning, you rubbed your hands across your face when thinking about what Jesse or Dina would say if Ellie told them what you two had found during your patrol.

You sighed, not even wanting to go and find your girlfriend in fear of being teased more or finding something even more embarrassing than the sexy lingerie barely hanging on their hooks. So you then decided to go and wait by the door to keep a lookout for anything suspicious.

Leaning against the wall by the door, you waited until Ellie came back out, a small glint of something you couldn’t read was in her eyes as she looked at you, once again adjusting the backpack on her shoulder.

“Find anything?” You asked hesitantly, trying to figure out what she was feeling. She shrugged, gesturing with her head to follow her back down the street once again.

“Nothing important.”

-----------------

You both arrived back to Jackson unscathed. It was a quick and short route, considering it was quite close to the place itself, so you two were back just as the sun was beginning to set. Your mind had completely forgotten the incident at the store and you both were just entering the small house you lived in together.

It wasn’t much but it was cosy enough for the both of you to live in, it was close to where your parents lived and wasn’t too far from where Joel lived so Ellie could go and visit when she wanted to. You frowned at the thought of Joel, knowing for a while that Ellie was quite hostile with him. You had assumed that they had a fight but didn't even consider that it would cause their relationship to be strained for years.

Shaking your head, you tried to not think into it too much as you dropped your bag by the door of the bedroom, your feet slowly dragging your body towards the bed before lying back onto it. Putting your arm over your eyes, you listened as Ellie came into the room and the bed dipped. “Babe.” Ellie spoke softly, to which you grunted a response.

Feeling her shift her body so that she was basically straddling you, you removed your arm from head to look at what she was doing. Your eyes trailed to hers as her arms held herself up beside your head.

She grinned as she leaned over, her lips attaching to your neck, nibbling and sucking at different spots, knowing that they were going to leave marks after she was done. “What’s gotten into you?” You giggled as one hand moved towards her hair and the other went to her waist.

Ellie didn’t reply as she continued to attack your neck with kisses before pulling away, her eyes showing a look of love when she looked at you in which she then leaned down to kiss your lips. You tasted sweet almost like sugar as your tongues mingled together, your hands going towards her hair while one of her hands went to caress your cheek.

You kept kissing, only breaking it when you both started undressing each other, the clothes soon going everywhere, seeing as your shirt landed on top of one of the lamps across the bedroom. Giggling, your hands wandered towards her nipples, your hands pinching and twisting, causing you to elicit a small moan as Ellie leaned back. Her hands then moved over yours before taking your hands and pinning them above your head, pinching them together with one hand while the other trailed down your body.

Her hand trailed down to your thighs which were currently clamped together, before using it to pry your thighs apart, which you easily let her do so. You gasped as you felt her fingers against you, your whole body jolting as you felt one of her fingers run up your slit. “Ellie...” You groaned as her thumb gently rubbed circles on your clit.

“That’s it babe,” Ellie muttered, her breath hot against your neck as she gently inserted a finger inside of you. “Just like that.”

Your breath was shaky and you gasped at the feeling as Ellie began curling her finger inside slowly, watching your reactions as your back arched slightly from the sensation of her finger inside of you. She then slowly inserted another finger, her other hand soon letting go of your hands in which you wrapped them around her back, your nails digging into her as the sensation of something inside of you overwhelmed you.

Ellie grunted as she continued to move her fingers, curling them and moving them slightly while her thumb attacked your clit. You watched as she moved her body, her lips trailing down your stomach and towards your core, her tongue replacing her thumb as she licked and nibbled on your clit.

Your hands moved towards her hair, gripping it tight as the sensation of her was overwhelming, your high almost peaking as your moans began to become louder, the breathy sounds of Ellie’s name coming out of your lips as the fingers inside of you began to quicken the pace.

But just before you could reach your peak, she pulled away, licking her lips as she pulled her fingers out of you and then proceeded to lick her fingers, tasting you on her tongue once more. You watched as your breaths tried to catch up with you, frowning as she suddenly stopped.

“Why did you stop?” You asked, running one of your hands through your hair as Ellie leaned over towards her bag that was right next to the bed.

“I wanted to try something different,” she paused as she grabbed something out of her bag before leaning back up and showing you what it was. “Are you up for it?”

Your eyes moved from hers towards what she was holding...

A strap-on?! You thought as you slowly nodded, your words failing you, watching as her grin widened and she began to put it on before coming over towards you, her body leaning over you once more before stopping and looking at you.

“Are you sure you want this?” She asked, one of her hands moving towards your chin, making you look up at her once more. You nodded again to which she gave you a discerning look. “Use your words, Y/N.”

“Yes, I want this, with you.” You finally spoke, your voice wavering from being slightly nervous with trying something completely different out for the first time. She nodded, happy with your answer before adjusting herself over you fully, holding the strap-on and moving it towards your entrance. She slowly pushed in, earning an uncomfortable grunt from you as you took on its size.

Once it was fully inside, Ellie paused, waiting for you to adjust just like she did when she had her fingers inside of you. Your arms wrapped around her once more, one hand back in her hair gripping it as you buried your head in her shoulder as you waited for the pain to subside while she stroked your head in the small amount of comfort she could give you.

After a few moments you finally nodded to let her know to try and move and experiment with what she had on her. Getting into some sort of good rhythm took her a few tries as Ellie tried to figure out how to get it right, but after a few tries she was able to thrust into you with ease, with you moving your lips towards her to bite and nibble on her neck just like she did to yours.

“Fuck, Ellie.” You gasped, pulling back from her neck as she hit a spot inside of you that caused intense pleasure. Your hand travelled down to between her thighs, pushing two fingers in and curling them inside of her, moving it alongside of her thrusting inside of you.

She gasped at the unexpected feeling as she continued to go faster, the moans leaving your mouth were becoming louder and both of your climaxes were approaching. Ellie leaned down, catching her lips with yours and muffling both of your moans, hiding them from the rest of the world so that they couldn’t hear.

You pulled back as your thumb circled her clit, trying to reach both of your highs at the same time. “Baby, I’m going to-” You were cut off by your own moans as Ellie nodded in agreement.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She groaned as with one last thrust, both of you reached your peak, groans and swears falling out of both of your mouths as you tried to help each other come down from your highs.

Ellie collapsed on top of you as her body trembled. You tried catching your breath as you removed your fingers from her and as she removed herself from you. You breathed heavily as she took the strap-on off of her body before coming back over to you. You rested your head on her chest as she wrapped her arms around you.

It was silent for a few minutes, both of you still rolling in your ecstasies. After a few more moments, you moved to look over at her, an eyebrow raised. “Where did you get that?” You questioned.

“That store you stumbled upon and then refused to go further inside of,” She replied, shrugging her shoulders at you as a small laugh left her lips. “Guess it was a good idea to go look inside after all.”

A gasp left you lips as you slapped her arm lightly, “So that’s why you were acting so weird earlier!” This earned a loud laugh from Ellie as she tightened her hold against you.

“Hey don’t blame me, you seemed to like it.”

#tlou #tlou2 #tlhe last of us #the last of us 2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #tlou2 dina #tlou ellie #tlou joel #Joel miller #joel miller x reader #angst #fluff #Smut #x reader #video games #videogame #naughtydog

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yeeyee-alumni · 3 years

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Ellie’s (lack of a) character arc & why the result is an unsatisfying story

Let’s state the obvious: Ellie does not have a character arc in The Last of Us Part 2. A character arc is defined as a gradual transformation or inner journey of a character in response to changing developments in the story. And you may argue that Ellie from the beginning of the game is not the same as the one at the end of the game, and I would agree with you. She went from a woman consumed by revenge (not really but we will stick with that for now) to a woman able to forgive her aggressor and move on. However, there are problems with this supposed inner change on multiple levels. a) the change is not gradual b) the change comes out of nowhere c) the change is not informed by anything I don’t think there’s any need to thoroughly explain the first statement. Ellie has the same goal from the beginning to the very last second before attaining her goal. At no point in the story is she self-reflective, questions her methods, there’s no moral dilemma for her, no inner conflict, no doubt that causes her to put her own actions into a new perspective and possibly change her motivation. From beginning to end she believes to be 100% justified in her goal to kill Abby. Subsequently, if Ellie were actually consumed by revenge, the only logical conclusion to her story would be for her to eventually drown Abby.

Which neatly leads me to the next point: her change comes out of nowhere. The decision to let Abby go, as is implied by the narrative, is triggered by a random, arbitrary flashback of Joel. First of all, the timing here is outright comical. For what reason is she having this specific flashback at this very moment? Sounds like contrived, convenient bs to me to give the appearance that her decision is informed by something (which it isn’t, and we'll get to that in a moment). Second of all, getting a flashback to the most important person in your life that has been brutally murdered in front of you, seeing an image of what could have been and what was unjustly taken from you, is not gonna inspire you to forgive your aggressor. If anything, it would make you more determined and sadistic. And third of all, I hear you all yelling "but it was a flashback to their conversation about forgiveness and that inspired her to forgive Abby." And I have multiple qualms regarding this line of thinking. Number one, forgiving the person you love most in this world for having lied to you cannot be compared to forgiving the person who brutally took said person from you. This actually further accentuates my previous point, this is the person that robbed you of your opportunity for reconciliation. Implying that Ellie's thought process here is „I wanted to forgive Joel, but this person robbed me of any opportunity to, so I have to forgive her” is muddled, nonsensical and quite frankly unrealistic. And number two, is the implication here that this is the first time Ellie has thought back to that conversation? That’s a whole new level of nonsense. She will have reflected on all moments with Joel, including this one, and yet at no point prior to this moment had she considered even the possibility of forgiveness, as I have illustrated earlier. So why now? Very obviously to get a payoff, which was neither set up nor properly developed. And moving on to my last point: it is not informed by anything. I know a lot of players didn’t want Ellie to kill Abby, and even I felt that way at first, albeit presumably for entirely different reasons (I was so drained and removed from the narrative by that point that I only thought to myself "just go home, you psychos"). But upon reflection, I concluded that that would have been an unsatisfying conclusion narratively speaking. Nevertheless, Abby seems to have grown dear to many players. After all, they have spent several hours with her, they have seen her struggle, overcome her obstacles, fight for what she believes to be right. Their feelings towards Abby are informed by the person they have seen her to be and by the experiences they went through with her. Yet Ellie is missing all of that context. She has not been with us throughout our three days in Seattle, she doesn’t know Abby outside of her having horrifically killed Joel and she has not gained any new information that would lead her to change her opinion about her. And so, we have another example of the story making characters do things that are not informed by anything, for the sake of a poor payoff. And since we're talking about characters acting nonsensically, let's talk about the roughly three minutes leading up to Ellie nearly drowning Abby, shall we? Ellie approaches the beach absolutely determined to find and kill Abby (repeatedly murmuring Abby’s name to herself). Yet when she reaches the pillars, she cuts Abby down, letting her free Lev and follows them to the boats, indicating that Ellie has changed her mind, showing pity/empathy upon seeing Abby a mere shadow of her former self. And yet again, we have Ellie acting in a way she never has before. She didn’t have pity for Nora who was coughing her lungs out, or for Jordan who had advocated for letting her live, or for any other innocent WLF or Seraphite that came in between her and killing Abby. But the one person she holds a grudge against to the point of killing hundreds of innocent people without batting an eye, that is the person she is suddenly capable of feeling pity/empathy for? Is it really that surprising that Ellie's actions here feel forced, uncharacteristic, and illogical? But it actually gets worse. In an additional display of Druckmann not knowing how humans work, we have Ellie putting her backpack with all her gear in the boat, looking at her bloody hand and then remembering "Oh yeah, that's the woman who killed Joel. I almost forgot.” And at this point in my playthrough I was laughing out loud. And so, we have Ellie all of sudden determined to kill Abby again, so much so that she is willing to threaten an innocent child’s life (this by the way was the final nail in the coffin for me, they thoroughly obliterated Ellie’s character throughout the entire game, but this goes against the very core of her being). And we know the rest, they fight, Ellie nearly kills Abby but eventually lets her go. To summarize what happened in the three minutes before our big emotional payoff to our 25 hour-long journey of playing this epitome of misery porn: Ellie has 3 - count them 3!!! - changes of heart. Her motivation does a perfect 180 almost every minute. This is not how people work! That’s lazy, contrived beyond believe, and borderline comical levels of writing, because Druckmann prioritized having a final boss battle on a beach over organic, coherent, and logical storytelling (but I guess it was worth it for the goddamn visuals). However, what’s most infuriating is that there are such easy fixes if one only thinks about it for more than two minutes that could erase nearly all for the major issues I just illustrated while maintaining the plot points of the two fighting on a beach and Ellie letting Abby go. If we have Ellie walk to the beach immediately, finding Abby there untying the boat (Lev nearly passed out in the boat, Ellie not seeing him) and she then attacks Abby, immediately we have erased two of Ellie’s changes of heart, she remains consistent in her goals/motivation, not jumping back and forth between two extremes. The two women fight much like we see it in the game, and then as Ellie is about to finish it, we hear Lev calling out to Abby. And there we have our motivation for Ellie to not kill her. Not because she gets a random, convenient flashback, not because she forgives Abby (Abby has done nothing to earn Ellie’s forgiveness), not because Abby has earned her redemption, but because Ellie cannot find it in her to put an innocent child through the pain Abby has put her through. Because at the end of the day, Ellie’s hatred for Abby does not outweigh her capacity for compassion and empathy for those deserving of it (a core characteristic of hers that was established in the first game). Because Ellie would rather let an individual live that is undeserving of it than cause the same pain she was put through to an innocent child that is undeserving of it. Granted, if we were to go with this ending, we would still have to build towards it properly and therefore would have to tweak the rest of the game, mainly by showing Ellie being self-reflective, merciful towards innocents, and even doubtful about her goals at times to make her final decision informed by prior developments in order to have the character arc actually be a gradual transformation leading to a logical conclusion. I have been a writer for nearly 4 years now, which means I am in no way an expert, or the most creatively talented person around and yet I would argue that this ending would be much more satisfying to most players than the alternative we were presented with. Because as it stands, none of our actions or decisions (and yes that is something important to consider when we are working within the medium of video games), or Ellie’s for that matter, lead up to this conclusion. The conclusion to this story, the final moment, the big emotional payoff hinges on a random flashback, not on any other developments that previously occurred in the story. Subsequently rendering all of the 25 hours entirely pointless, none of it had an influence on the finale, none of it mattered narratively speaking. So, is it even a surprise that many found this to be dissatisfying? I noticed a few people who are fond of Abby accusing people feeling differently of having too much of an emotional bias or even going as far as to say they are less emotionally intelligent. This is problematic for two reasons, a) different people have different reasons for disliking Ellie’s final choice. Some still hate Abby as much as in the beginning, others feel drained and indifferent, and others still feel similarly to how I feel in that it’s mainly narratively dissatisfying. And b) the same story can have a different effect on any amount of people (otherwise, we would have settled the discussion about what the greatest movie all of time is long ago). My point being, that no matter how you feel about this particular story you are 100% justified in feeling this way, and yes that includes people that by the end of the game still hate Abby just as much as they did the moment she bashed Joel’s skull in. That does not necessarily have to be personal bias, more often than not it’s the ability to see through the storytelling techniques used, rendering them mostly ineffective for these people (and I include myself in this). I wanted Ellie to kill Abby not because I was unable to empathize with her or couldn’t see past my own personal bias, but because that would have been the logical, narratively satisfying conclusion to this specific story.

#tlou #tlou2 #the last of us #the last of us 2 #the last of us part 2 #ellie #ellie williams #joel #joel miller #abby #abby anderson #writing #storytelling #character arc #rant #themes #motivation #rewrite #I posted this before but deleted my account so here it is again

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duchesschameleon · 3 years

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the way comfort grows

summary: five times Rafael Barba comforts Olivia Benson and the one time he admits there's something more to it. | ao3

pairing: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson words: 5.5k a/n: huge, huge, huge thank you to @qvid-pro-qvo for the support, title, helping me finish this thing FINALLY, and the beta. literally this fic wouldn’t be done without you, I love you. if I tagged you in this, I think you’d like it

1 The first time Rafael Barba comforts Olivia Benson, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

He knows his job, knows the facts, knows how to work a courtroom. He doesn’t know how to handle a detective who is questioning if he can get a jury to hand down a guilty verdict. There aren’t many people who doubt Rafael Barba, and those who do are usually reassured by his reputation and confidence. But Olivia Benson doubts him and it’s clear as day. It’s clear she doesn’t trust him to be empathetic with victims, that his main concerns are his case record and reputation. And if it is, so what? He’s an ADA, a prosecutor. His job is to take the facts to trial and present them in a way that shows the perp is in the wrong. He represents the law, he sways people. He tells stories and gets people to believe them. With the amount of prep it takes to bring sex crimes cases to trial, he doesn’t exactly have time to coddle and empathize people.

And yet, he finds himself assuring Olivia Benson. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing. You get me the evidence, the information, I’ve got the jury,” he tells her softly. She nods at him, the look in her eyes telling him he better be certain about it. And he doesn’t know what possesses him to do it but he’s opening his mouth again, “Really Olivia. I’ve got a plan. We’re gonna get this right and if the jury has any common sense they’ll be handing down the guilty verdict real quick. We’ve got this,” he says, resting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

And then he drops his hand, schooling his face into a neutral expression. His hand burns slightly, the contact unfamiliar and foreign. But he’d done it, on instinct he’d reached out to comfort Olivia Benson, to reassure her that justice would be served. And if he’s being honest with himself, he’s not totally sure why. Rafael Barba is not a comforting man to the people he works with. He is ruthless, stubborn, and focused. His typical brand of reassurance comes from a place of confidence, not comfort.

And yet, he comforted Olivia Benson and finds he wouldn’t mind doing it again.

2 The second time it happens, Rafael would swear that Olivia Benson has a tracker on him.

He’s not expecting to see her until the morning. He’s at a bar, eating dinner and having a drink while pouring over the case. But here she is, crestfallen and dejected as she tells him that her team hadn’t been able to turn up any female victims, making this case a hard win. Or so she thinks.

“You say that like it’s bad news,” he says, patting the barstool next to him. He explains the plan to Olivia, that if Jones turned down a woman and is only hunting gay men he can get extra years added to the sentence but she’s still skeptical. He can feel the adrenaline of a good court battle racing through him, the excitement of finding a way to nail this guy. But when he looks at Olivia’s face, there’s hesitance. She’s gripping her wine glass and he can see the tension in her hand. “Hey,” he says, catching her attention, “I’ve got this. If he refused a woman who was basically inviting him in, it shows a pattern and a preference. I can work with that, this is good.”

“But he’s a gay man married to another gay man, I just don’t know-”

Rafael puts a hand on Olivia’s arm, cutting her off. “It’s something, and I’m going to do everything I can to make it stick. There’s pattern, there’s preference.” His thumb is rubbing her arm, doing it subconsciously but it has the desired effect. She nods, meets his eyes and he can see that she believes him.

“Okay, then let’s get this son of a bitch.”

3 As Rafael Barba settles into the rhythm of the SVU squad and their cases he becomes closer to Olivia Benson. His moments of comfort for her become more commonplace, a bolstering smile or some reassuring words are more frequent than they once were.

And yet, the first time he hugs her still takes him by surprise. It happens within the first few weeks she’s back at SVU following her kidnapping and she’s still on edge. Rafael can tell, and he wonders absently when he got to know Olivia Benson that well, but it’s a moot point. He knows she’s on edge, that she’s not at the top of her game and he knows he wants to, needs to, do something but he doesn’t know what.

She’s pacing around his office, piecing together a case, thinking out loud. He’s listening absently, he’ll butt in if he needs to, but he knows this is how Liv thinks sometimes. Liv. When did he start calling her Liv? Sometime around their late night talks and walks between the courthouse, his office, and the precinct he supposes. She’s become such a staple in his life and he can’t exactly complain. Except that right now, she’s wearing a hole in his carpet pacing and her thinking aloud is spiraling and going in circles more than it's helping. So he knows he has to put a stop to it.

“Olivia, Liv,” he says, standing and placing his hands on her shoulders, “take a breath. We’ve got this, we’ve been over the case a million times. There’s nothing more we can do unless you manifest a witness or DNA or a pattern of behavior out of thin air. This one isn’t going our way, it happens,” he reminds her. She looks down at her feet, dejected and disappointed. Not in him he knows, in herself. “Hey, look at me,” he says ducking his head to meet her eyes, “it happens. We put up a good fight, you got me all you could, and I couldn’t bring it to the finish line. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it.”

“But if we had-”

Rafael pulls on Liv’s shoulders, hauling her into a hug. It cuts her off more effectively than his words do. He can feel some of the tension leak out of her as he wraps his arms around her shoulders and feels her arms wrap around his waist. “It’s just the way the chips fall Liv, it happens. There’s nothing more you could have done,” he whispers against her ear. More tension leaves Liv’s body, she sinks into him and he holds her tighter, supports her like he always does.

4 After the first one, hugs between Liv and Rafael become frequent.

Rafael has learned over time that Liv is a tactile person. She might not vocally admit it, but the way she melts and relaxes when he squeezes her shoulder or holds her hand speaks volume. And if she sometimes turns to him for a hug in the privacy of their offices or at a bar after work as they discuss cases more? Well, it’s just another way for Rafael to support Liv.

Liv’s grown stronger and more confident as she continues therapy and gets separation from William Lewis. She becomes a sergeant, is named the commanding officer of SVU. There’s a swell of pride in Rafael’s chest when he sees the new name plate in her office, the markings of sergeant. Taking those steps at work helps Liv’s confidence, and then baby Noah helps her heart heal.

Rafael’s met Noah a few times now, Liv inviting him over to talk about a case instead of meeting him at a bar. He can’t say he’s totally comfortable around the baby, but with each visit he gets more used to him. And Noah makes Liv smile, makes her look at life beyond SVU and Rafael will always be grateful for things that make Olivia Benson smile.

He steps into her apartment, not fully knowing why he’s there. Just that she’d asked him over to talk about something they can’t discuss in the office. It puts Rafael on edge, and having to hold Noah isn’t helping him. He’s an only child, his cousins were close in age to him. Holding a toddler, a child of any age really, isn’t something he’s familiar with and he’s almost too happy to hand Noah back to Liv when she’s ready to settle in and talk.

“Johnny D is still in federal custody right?”

Rafael nods, explains that he was denied bail despite his lawyers’ best efforts.

“What if our investigation turns up information that Johnny D fathered a child,” Liv pauses and takes a steadying breath, “with Ellie Porter?”

Oh. That explains the meeting place and time, Liv’s nervousness and how she’s clinging to her little boy. Rafael can’t blame her, having Noah in her life has been the brightest light and best thing this past year. She’s smiling more and growing both at home and at work. And now this could threaten to take it all away, take away her light.

Rafael pauses and clenches his jaw. “This conversation is hypothetical as of now, okay?” He settles onto the couch and picks his words carefully, telling Liv that NYPD doesn’t have to disclose that Johnny D is Noah’s father. Given Noah’s early life and his history, there’s no way they could be expected to know Noah’s father. The fact isn’t exculpatory at all, there’s no need to disclose,” he explains. He’s racing through it in his head, going through all the possibilities and contingencies. There’s no need for it to be disclosed, it can’t be used to get Johnny D’s sentences reduced or rid him of his charges. No, letting this information out would only cause headaches for him and Liv, it’s not necessary nor is it useful.

“You’re certain? We don’t have to say anything?” Liv confirms, running her hands over Noah’s hair and holding him close.

Rafael reaches out and pats her on the back, “No, we don’t. He doesn’t have to ever find out.” They sit there in silence together, the secret Liv’s revealed hanging between them. Not for the first time, Rafael is grateful Noah has Liv. He has someone who loves him, cares for him, and will always be there for him. Who will show him love and kindness and a fun childhood. Noah needs Liv as much as Liv needs Noah and he’ll do anything he can to keep them together. The courts don’t need to know who Noah’s father is. No, they don’t. They don’t need that complication.

Rafael stays with Liv a little longer, reassuring her and playing with Noah. This little boy with a great smile who is going to permanently be a part of their little SVU family soon, once Liv’s papers are finished and the judge signs off. Rafael can’t imagine life without Noah now, can’t imagine Liv without him. His heart clenches at the thought of Liv losing Noah, how it would hurt her and how much he’d miss the little boy. No, the courts don’t need to know that Johnny D is Noah’s father. No one needs the pain that’ll bring.

When he stands to leave he gives Liv a strong hug. “They don’t have to know, this doesn’t change anything,” he says again. He presses a kiss to Liv’s hair, the scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils and flooding his senses. God, what he wouldn’t do for this woman. He’d move the world, face down any jury, just to make sure she keeps smiling and gets to keep her little boy. “They don’t have to know, and he’s not gonna take Noah from you. I promise you that.” He presses another kiss to her hair before stepping back to leave. She meets his eyes and nods, silently thanking him. Rafael returns it and leaves the apartment, his chest filled with a warm feeling. He doesn’t know what it is and he doesn’t want to think about it too long. Thinking about it too much leads to rabbit holes he won’t ever leave. Dreaming of a future with Liv, with Noah, a future where he gets to comfort Liv daily and remind her that everything will be okay.

But it’s just a dream, he reminds himself as he shakes his head and walks out the building.

5 Comforting Olivia Benson is second nature to Rafael Barba.

They’ve known each other now for five years, and over that time Rafael has lost count of the hugs, the forehead kisses, the bolstering talks, and the late nights spent reassuring one another. Comfort is a two way street in their friendship and truthfully a staple in it.

And it’s just a friendship. Rafael tells himself this repeatedly, tells himself he comforts Liv to restore her faith in her team, herself, and him. It’s all about the job, it all ties back to the job someway. He’s her equal, she doesn’t have to be the strong lieutenant that has it all figured out when it’s the two of them. She can lean on him and let him be strong and it’s become harder and harder to convince himself it’s just a friendship and part of the job the more often it happens.

Because if he really thinks about it and analyzes it, Rafael Barba is in love with Olivia Benson.

Each threshold crossed in their relationship marks how deep it runs and how close they’ve gotten. The more he comforts her, the more he wants to continue doing it and make sure that her world isn’t completely bleak. The more he wants to protect her and reassure her things will all turn out right.

But he won’t and more importantly, he can’t. Because theirs is a friendship born of late nights working cases together and dinner discussing discovery and how to gather evidence, how a trial is going and who’s going to need to testify. It’s a friendship born out of proximity to each other, the way their worlds are intertwined because of their jobs and nothing else.

Rafael Barba might love Olivia Benson, but he has no proof she loves him back. And that’s okay, he has her friendship and they work well together. He wouldn’t want to upset that balance, the partnership they have and the lengths they’re willing to go to for each other.

And really, Liv is testing those lengths today.

“Hey Rafa, I know it’s Thursday night but any chance you can come watch Noah for me?,” Liv asks hurriedly, “They need me at the precinct and Lucy’s busy tonight. I put him down 15 minutes ago so you shouldn’t need to do much, just be here to make sure he’s okay and in case he gets up. I wouldn’t ask unless I had -”

“Yeah, of course I can,” Rafael interrupts her. “Give me two minutes and then I’m on my way.”

“You’re a lifesaver, I’ll see you soon.”

Seeing Liv ends up being a less than three minute interaction as she pulls on a coat and gets out the door and tells Rafael where the monitor is and what to do if Noah gets up. Rafael nods along as he follows Liv to the door, ready to lock it once she’s gone.

“Thank you so much again, you’re the only person I could think to call,” Liv says breathlessly.

“Liv, it’s no problem, go, they need you at the precinct.” Rafael lightly pushes Liv out the door and waves goodbye. It’ll be fine, he’ll be okay and Noah will sleep the whole time. He’d had the sense to grab some files before he sprinted out of his apartment, desperate to get to Liv’s and calm her nerves so she could go be Lieutenant Benson. He’ll sit on the couch and work, probably make coffee too. He’ll be fine.

So Rafael settles in, he makes his coffee and relaxes on the couch. He pulls his files towards him and gets to work, building question trees and playing out all the possibilities for trial, the kind of work best done without interruptions.

“Uncle Rafa? Where’s Mommy?”

His head shoots up and finds Noah, looking very sleepy in his pjs, standing by the couch. Rafael checks his watch and sees that he’s been here for an hour. There’s been no word from Liv, so she’s nowhere near getting home. He clicks his pen closed and puts it on the coffee table and turns to Noah, “Your mom got called into work, so she asked me to come hang out with you. What’s up Noah, why are you awake?”

Noah rubs his eyes and it makes something in Rafael’s chest clench, squeezing his heart. He likes Noah, Noah is a massive part of Liv’s life and has thus become a part of his life. He cares for the boy and spends time with him, but something about tonight, about Liv trusting him with Noah, pulls that feeling deeper.

“Had a dream, it woke me up,” Noah says softly and Rafael puts his full attention on Noah.

“A bad dream?” Noah nods. “Hey, c’mere, do you want to tell me about it? Or should we read a story together to chase it away?” Noah shrugs as he shuffles over to Rafael and climbs onto the couch. Instinctively, Rafael puts an arm around Noah and draws him close. Noah snuggles in and again, Rafael’s heart squeezes. He files the feeling away, deciding to analyze it later in favor of focusing on Noah now.

“I had a dream about monsters getting to Mommy,” Noah says bluntly. He’s clinging to Rafael’s arm, more tactile than usual but given this nightmare Rafael understands. “And then she’s not in her bed and you’re here. Is she okay?”

Rafael huffs out a breath, he’s certainly an observant and smart kid to correlate Liv’s job with danger. But praising him for that would be counterproductive, he reminds himself, so he simply hugs Noah and says, “she’s at the precinct with Uncle Fin, Aunt Amanda, and Uncle Sonny. She’s okay, they just needed her there.”

“Why?”

“Because your mom is the best and they can’t do anything without her. Someone has to tell Uncle Sonny what to do, right?” Rafael jokes and Noah giggles. It’s the best feeling, to make Liv’s little boy smile and quell his fears. But he knows that joking will only do so much. He thinks on it for a minute, he doesn’t know if he can call Liv, if she’ll answer, and he doesn’t want to panic her and pull her away from work either. “How does this sound Noah, I’ll text your mom and ask her how things are going and you and I can cuddle on your bed while we wait for her response. And I’ll stay with you until you're asleep. Does that sound good?” Rafael looks Noah in the face, searching for any apprehension or concerns.

“Deal,” Noah says with a tentative smile. So Rafael texts Liv, just checking in and letting her know things are good at home, before he picks Noah up and carries him to his room. They settle on the bed together, Noah curled into Rafael’s side. Rafael wraps an arm around the little boy and hums a lullaby softly. He pulls it from the recesses of his memory, something his abuelita used to sing to him as a young boy. It’s working, Noah’s eyes slowly closing as he nods off. Rafael can only hope it’s expelling the bad dreams and leading him to a peaceful sleep.

He fights it though, forces his eyes open to look up at Rafael. “Did Mommy text?” he asks, words running together.

“She did Noah, she said everything is okay, she’ll be a bit longer. Another hour maybe. She’ll come in to give you a kiss before she goes to bed,” Rafael reads and Noah nods, finally burrowing further into his blankets and closing his eyes. After a few minutes, his breathing evens out and he’s asleep. Rafael stays on the edge of the bed, arm wrapped around Noah, and watches the boy.

There’s a warmth spreading in his chest as he watches Noah sleep peacefully, checking for any signs of a nightmare or him waking up. It’s a similar feeling to the one he gets when he looks at Liv, when he comforts her. A longing for a life he never thought he could have, and a protectiveness. A want to be around always and make the hurt go away, to reassure them that things will be alright.

Rafael loves Noah. Of course, it’s different than how he loves Liv but it’s still there. The pull to be around the young boy, to be there for him and be someone he can lean on. Noah’s not just Liv’s son anymore. Not just a person that Rafael interacts with because he’s in Liv’s life. Rafael cares about Noah as his own person, wants to make sure he’s okay and cared for and thriving. That he has a good life. That he has someone to lean on when needed.

It’s a shocking realization, that the boy he was once scared to hold and who’s toys he tripped over is now a child that he wants to protect and see more often and care for and love. That he wants to laugh with Noah, to spend time with him even without Liv around. And maybe he should have realized this when he agreed to come to Liv’s without persuasion to watch Noah, but regardless it’s there. Rafael loves Noah.

He huffs out a silent laugh, still not entirely sure how he ended up in this situation but also not mad about it. Noah’s a good kid, a caring kid, and being a part of his life wouldn’t be such a bad thing. And if Rafael can make sure Noah and Liv are always smiling, always cared for, always protected? That sounds like a very good thing indeed.

+1 After six years, Rafael Barba knows how to comfort Olivia Benson.

Or he usually does. Noah missing has been hard on all of them. To see Liv in this state, lost and out of control is affecting all of them. The team holds it together pretty well without Liv’s leadership, but he can see they’re missing her. He feels lost, not fully knowing how to help her. And her breakdown, just saying that all she wants is her son…it haunts him.

But he shakes his head before he approaches Liv’s apartment, he needs to clear his mind and just be here for her. Noah’s been back for a few days but Rafael knows Liv, knows she’s probably still on edge and nervous about who’s around and where he is. So he knocks, listens to Liv and vows silently in his head to be there for her and for Noah. To make them both feel safe, feel comforted, feel loved.

Liv’s apologizing for rambling and it pulls Rafael back to the present, “I came here to talk to my friend about whatever she wants to talk about.” There’s a pause, and Liv is searching his face as if doubting his words and looking for the truth. It sends a pang through Rafael’s heart, he truly does just want to be there for Liv. To listen to her, to support her, to help her through it. He keeps his face open and warm, something learned from her over the years. After a beat he says, “is she gonna ask me in?” And Liv’s stepping back, acting as if she’d forgotten her manners when Rafael knows her mind is still putting the pieces of the last few days together and it’s understandable.

He’s the last to arrive, but he figured that would be the case when he left his apartment. It’s okay, Noah’s there and it settles something in him to see the little boy again. He’d gotten the text that Noah was okay, that he was with Liv and safe and on his way back to New York but seeing him finally puts something to rest in his chest. But as always, Rafael shoves it aside in favor of talking to Noah about the deer and settling next to Carisi at the coffee table and building robots. It’s a simple, low-key night of their family. The SVU family, this rag-tag bunch of people that he works with on a regular basis and somewhere over the last few years come to care for. Even Sonny Carisi.

It’s a simple night that warms Rafael’s heart. He knows that Liv is upset about Noah losing his grandmother, that she’s mad at herself for jumping at the chance to include his biological grandmother in his life and missing possible red flags. And Rafael knows he’ll be there to remind her that it’s not her fault, she did nothing wrong, and that Noah does have a family. He has his aunt and uncles from SVU who love him so much and helped his mom go against Chief Dodds’ orders that she not work the case, people who care about him. People who love him.

Rafael stays later than everyone else, making up for being late is what he tells himself. There’s a voice in the back of his head that says there’s another reason, one that has to do more with Liv than Noah but Rafael ignores it. He cleans up the toys they’d all been playing with, collects dishes, and cleans them while Liv puts Noah to bed. He’s lingering, he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to leave just yet either.

“He’s down, for now,” Liv says as she walks into the kitchen, picking up a towel to dry the dishes Rafael’s washed. He nods, and they settle into a comfortable silence. Rafael can tell Liv is still on edge, can feel the nerves buzzing off her but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to comfort her. None of his usual tricks seem right, she’s long past physical comfort or words of assurance. A drink doesn’t feel right and neither does talking it through. Liv has been through hell and back, Noah was taken and she’d let Sheila into their lives. So how does he comfort this woman he cares for?

How does he tell her that he’d been worried as well, that hearing Noah was taken, was missing, felt like getting ice shot through his heart? That he was on edge the whole time and felt helpless, stuck at Hogan Place with his own cases and workload but yearning to be with Liv? That when he did get to check on her part of his not knowing what to do came from the worry and fear that was gripping him? How does he tell Liv that when she’s just gotten Noah back and needs to focus on him, not on Rafael?

“Hey, what’s rattling around in that big head?” Liv asks, patting his shoulder and breaking his train of thought.

“Shouldn’t I be the one looking after you?” Rafael shoots back. It takes a moment for his words to register, when they do his cheeks heat up and he squeezes his eyes shut. Shit, shit, shit. “I meant more that I-”

“Rafa, it’s okay.” She’s squeezing his shoulder and he sighs, knowing he has to say something to her. Has to say something about the fact that she’s more than a friend to him.

“But I mean it Liv, I should be here for you. Asking how you are, helping out. Whatever you need from me, I’m here.” He reaches up to grab her hand and holds on, squeezing it. “I’m here for you Liv, for you and Noah. God, you know that when you texted me you had him and were on your way back to New York I felt the biggest sense of relief? And seeing him tonight, it was like the fear that had been gripping my heart for days finally released. And if I felt like that, I can only imagine how you felt. As his mother, the person who’s there for him all the time.”

The words are pouring out of him at this point, like a dam has been broken. “And then I got the craziest thought, that god forbid something had happened to him, what was the last thing we did together? Have I spent enough time with him, with you? And I promised myself I’d do everything I can to spend more time with him. And with you, though we see each other a lot at work but outside of that. I want to be here, for you and for Noah.” Rafael takes a breath, absentmindedly wondering if he’s even making any sense at this point.

“Rafa, what are you saying?” Liv asks warily, an eyebrow cocked at him. Of course he sounds crazy, he’s rambling in a way he never does unless he’s stressed and even then, it’s never this bad. Never this incoherent.

“I’m saying I care Liv. About you, about Noah. I want to be there for both of you. Liv, you gotta know I care. I care so much about you, about Noah, outside of the job and on it. You bring out this human side of me that, well, I think it makes me better, a better man and a better ADA, and it’s you Liv. And I’m what I’m trying to say in this convoluted, turnaround way is that I care. I more than care, I love you Olivia Benson. And however you want me in your life, I’m there. I want to be here for you and for Noah. Because I love both of you and I know that this isn’t going to be easy but I want to be here and help.”

It’s out there. He said the words - sandwiched amongst other ones and at the end of a winding rant - but he said them. And Liv is staring at him, her eyes searching his and definitely guarded because, well. Noah was just kidnapped. Of course she’s being guarded and cautious. But she’s still holding his hand. Still standing close. It’s something, something Rafael can hold onto and take solace in. She’s here and she’s not backing away. So he reaches for her other hand where it’s resting on the counter and grabs hold of it too.

“Liv,” he says, going to back to the nickname he’s more comfortable with, “I love you. I love Noah. Please, let me be here for both of you and help. Please.”

She’s nodding, her eyes searching his. Looking for the catch, for the caveat. But he just holds her gaze and squeezes her hands. She gives him a small smile, a reassurance that she hears him. And then she’s tugging him into a hug, her arms winding around his shoulders and holding on tight. Rafael snakes his arms around her waist, strong and sure. He knows he wants this, wants to be there for Liv in any way she needs him to be. So he holds her, feels her melt in to him and holds her tight. He presses a kiss to the side of her head, like’s done before in her office or his or on the steps of the courthouse. A grounding thing, a comforting thing. A sign again that he’s there and he cares.

She pulls back from where she’d buried her head in his neck, eyes meeting his again. “You love me?” she asks, his words fully registering.

He smiles at her, small and honest. Not like his big, brash ones at the courthouse, but small and private, personal. “I love you Olivia Benson,” he repeats. “I love you and I want to be here for you, for Noah. Not just now, but always.” He takes a breath, pausing to let his words sinks in. After a moment he asks, “Liv, can I kiss you?”

She nods, and he moves slowly towards her, giving Liv the time to back away still. But she’s meeting him in the middle and when their lips brush, there aren’t fireworks. There’s no flash of feelings, no dam being broken. It’s like a sigh, a relief. Kissing Liv feels as natural as any of the other ways he’s comforted her over the years. There’s a warm feeling spreading through his chest, relieving any tension or nerves he’d had. It’s love he knows, love he feels as his lips press harder into Olivia’s. As his lips move over hers, stealing breaths and gasps. He pulls back slightly, rests his forehead on hers, and waits for her eyes to open.

“Rafa, how long have you waited to do that?”

“Too long Liv, but we got there. That’s what matters.” And it is. It doesn’t matter that she can tell he’s harbored feelings for her for a long time, that they could have had this for who knows how long. Rafael knows they have it now, they got here, and in the end that’s truly all that matters.

tags: @qvid-pro-qvo, @hurricanejjareau, @writefasttalkevenfaster

#law and order: svu #rafael barba #olivia benson #barson #rafael barba x olivia benson #law and order: svu fanfic #rafael barba fanfiction #olivia benson fanfiction #my writing

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