#they swapped books... and nobody is having a good time.....

[genshin-impact-updates]

Happy Birthday, Alhaitham!

[waxingrunes]

Ghostface Thriller

This was supposed to be my original fully fleshed out Halloween gig but I changed my mind at the eleventh hour to something else. I only have these very rough shallow sketches to offer that started the whole thing. Read on for a little texting excerpt of their conversation from this moment.

And for one single (quite tame?) Ao3 continuation.

Sirius: you know, this whole conversation is just proving more and more disappointing ghostie

Ghost: Why’s that.

Sirius: well

Sirius: the more you talk the more you

Sirius: this is gonna sound weird but you know when you can grow attracted to the way someone sounds without ever seeing their face? the way they hold themselves like through the screen, the way they talj

Sirius: talk*

Ghost: Are you about to tell me you’re crushing on me, pretty?

Sirius: i mean

Sirius: im telling you i think the way you talk is attractive and despite the damning circumstances you’re actually kinda smart

Sirius: you have to be to get away with the sick shit you do :)

Ghost: Mm, nobody’s made me blush before.

Sirius: me calling you a sick shit made you blush?

Ghost: And sent a jolt straight to my c*** little pretty.

Sirius: romantic

Ghost: Struggling to understand what’s disappointing about any of this.

Sirius: oh right

Sirius: well it’s just you sound hot but obviously you’re not actually you know

Sirius: hot

A moment passes where Sirius swaps the phone between one clammy palm to the other, doubting his turn of phrase with the radio silence that’d been dealt.

Staring at the bottom of the screen he waited another whole minute for the three dots to appear, which was excellent restraint in his books, before huffing out a breath through his nose and yielding.

Sirius: no ten wears a mask

Sirius: if you were as attractive as your fancy words make you sound you’d make it known

Ghost: You’re trying to unmask me through the phone and here I was thinking I was the pervert.

Sirius: doesn’t pretty get at least one photo

Sirius: of something? anything? to aid my crush :(

Ghost: Ask nicely.

Sirius readjusted, looking up to the ceiling as if he was going to find some sort of resolve there. What wasn’t yet clear, was whether it was the weight of the situation that was getting to his head and making his tummy swoop with this roleplay he’d voluntarily landed himself in, or, he really had a fucking crush.

Wetting his lips, he swallowed and was already blindly tapping out his response before his eyes fell to it again.

Sirius: please ghostie

Moments passed. Deadweight moments where Sirius convinced himself his shadow was moving on its own accord. In reality it was a handful of seconds but it felt like minutes, ticking by with the faint feeling of something hot dripping down the back of his throat.

Ghost: I don’t make a habit of sending selfies to my toys.

Sirius stared at the photo. It was his time to go quiet now, for reasons he planned to take to the grave; an event which may end up closing in sooner than anticipated if he plays his cards wrong.

Ghost: Tick-Tock, pretty. What you looking at?

The bastard.

Sirius: not much apparently

Sirius: i mean nothing i haven’t seen before apart from your legs

Sirius: never seen those out before

Ghost: You a leg man?

Against his will, Sirius giggled. Flushed in an instance from shame and shock and the feeling of very sudden self-awareness, but still had to swallow the tail end of it.

Sirius: am i going to get anything else more

Sirius: motivating

Sirius: i’ve been good all week and followed your orders

Sirius: i haven’t argued

Ghost: Oh, pretty. Come on now.

Sirius: okay but

Sirius: wouldn’t you get bored if i made it easy

Ghost: Clever boy.

Sirius squeezed his legs together, sinking further into the cushions.

Sirius: then reward me

Sirius: please

Sirius: please please please

Ghost: You’ll get what you want soon, but for now…

Another picture came through and for a sharp second, Sirius hesitated. It wouldn’t be his face, surely. He knew that and yet the moment felt pivotal either way as he hovered his thumb over the attachment and tried levelling his rattling heart.

He opened it, simultaneously losing feeling in his fingers and gaining it elsewhere.

Ghost: I wasn’t kidding about that jolt, not that hard yet but you’re doing a good job pretty.

Picture no.2

[earthstellar]

Just jolted awake at 5 AM to share this idea lmao:

Cosmic Storm: Accidental Alt-Mode Swap Scenario

Some kind of cosmic electrical storm hits the Lost Light and everyone switches alt-modes

They can't figure out how this is even possible, best they can figure is that one of the waves of cosmic electricity rolled over the ship and bypassed their shields enough to affect the crew, just this huge arc of space electricity scrambling everyone all at once

And as it arcs from crew member to crew member (and zaps the shit out of the ship too), somehow this messes with everyone's systems enough that their t-cogs all attempt to reboot while everyone is still connected by the cosmic storm energy

Which results in everyone's t-cogs getting alt-mode data confused, as everyone simultaneously tries to stabilise their systems by purging stored energy so they don't get fried, so because they're all connected by this singular pulse of space bullshit it's like one massive accidental transfer of spark energy, personal systems data, and cosmic electroshock

It's 5 AM sorry if I'm not explaining this very well LOL

But nobody dies, and their systems actually seem to be relatively OK afterwards as far as they can tell, so nobody actually realises there's a problem until First Aid and/or Ratchet asks everyone to book in follow up appointments for full systems checks just to be sure

And as part of checking t-cog function whoever the first patient of the day is gets asked to transform briefly as part of a physical exam designed to help spot any non-critical t-cog damage

And there's no t-cog damage, not to the t-cog itself. Scans come back okay, everything looks good, so OK, time to proceed with the transformation test. Root mode to alt-mode, and then back to root mode.

If the t-cog and associated systems are functional, it should be pretty straightforward.

And the bot does successfully transform...

..Just, into the wrong alt-mode.

And immediately, The Problem Of The Day becomes clear.

Gradually people around the ship figure it out on their own as well, while the Med Bay staff are trying to figure out what the fuck is going on

Over in the Science Lab, Perceptor is messaging Ratchet frantically because he's realised the problem as soon as he tried to switch into his alt-mode to study some samples of a metal panel from the ship which has some damage from the cosmic electricity and uh oh turns out he's a fucking helicopter now

It's a problem that also alters their root modes, but only after their first transformation post-space storm. Something fully triggers whatever is wrong with their t-cog data only once they enter alt-mode, their root modes then re-configure to accommodate these changes following that initial "wrong" transformation sequence.

They have their own colours, their paint nanites etc. remain the same as always, but their modes have changed. So they get any kibble etc. that might come with that new alt-mode.

So Brainstorm goes to pick up some energon for both of them, then comes back and Perceptor suddenly has rotors and holy shit

Eventually everyone on board figures out something weird/potentially bad is happening with their t-cogs. Some people are too scared to test it and find out, while others immediately can't resist their curiosity or think it's better to figure out as soon as possible so they can adapt, and test it as soon as they hear some bots are just turning into completely different things, totally reconfigured.

This could be fun, also sort of terrifying (there is potential for body horror to some degree), and either way it's chaos.

When Drift triggers his alt-mode, he turns into a cat-- Seems like he's got Ravage's t-cog data. Nobody can find Ravage, and Megatron makes it clear that he'll be the only one to attempt to find him.

Rodimus turns into some kind of aqueous vehicle. Maybe Camien in origin. (Turns out it's Nautica's t-cog data.) He's fine with it as soon as he realises he's space flight capable for short distances and Magnus has to talk him out of trying to race the ship.

Of course, because it's Nautica's t-cog data, when he reverts back to root mode, he has a distinctly femme Camien-style frame. He loves it, because his armour isn't as heavy in this form, so he can go faster. (Once this is all over, he is strongly considering keeping some of these femme frame alterations...)

And if you want to use this as a setup for any shipping, yes indeed, some bots inevitably try to test out their newly altered frames with their partners or amicas. (The medical staff all advise against this because oh god nobody knows all the functions of their new systems yet, please do not end up in the Med Bay with "makeout related injuries" they are dealing with so much right now LOL)

Anyway my moving date is 25/01 but as soon as I'm settled into my new place I might turn this into a fic if I have time lmao

[sainamoonshine]

Okay so I saw that @foxy-alien made art of a TLT house swap AU and it started me thinking about how I’d do a similar AU… I did that instead of sleeping last night btw.

So here’s what I have so far:

Ninth House: Ianthe, Corona and Babs. Once upon a time a woman and a baby fell on their planet. When they saw the woman’s red hair they thought “ugh what Third House bullshit is this” and while they kept the corpse, they sent the baby back. We don’t want this keep your trash. They have their own drama to deal with anyway; the tomb needs its keeper to be a necromancer. Corona, while officially the heir and Reverent Daughter, is not one. Ianthe and her started hiding her lack of talent before their parents explained the whole “unbroken chain of the tomb keeper’s necromantic bloodline” thing. So long as Ianthe is around, the twins expect that everything is still fine. Still, their house hovers on the edge of breaking a promise of ten thousand years once their parents die and Corona inherits the duties of the tomb… unless they find a way to make Corona a necromancer, either by turning her into a lyctor, by making Ianthe a lyctor and then Ianthe makes her necromantic (?), or they just straight up ask Jod for a boon.

Eight House: Abigail and Magnus. Everyone is surprised when they meet them, as they do not meet the traditional pattern of their house; especially when you know the fact that Abigail’s cavalier was supposed to be a cousin but was replaced by Magnus when he married Abigail — their blood type was, luckily (or unluckily?) compatible. Like, who the fuck would want to be an Eight House cavalier??? (Magnus would. He think going into the river is exciting. He also trusts his wife.) It’s usually only when Abigail starts actually doing necromancy that people remember she’s scary AF. Through her interest in ghosts, she has developed her own custom safeguards against Magnus getting possessed when she siphons him… or if he does get possessed, she is a quick and extremely brutal exorcist.

Seventh House: Palamedes and Camilla. Pal decided on his medicine focus due to his house’s propensity for weird necromantic cancer. He firmly believes that if he can just find a way to either stabilize or treat it, the inhabitants of the seventh house will live more comfortable lives. He is considered something of an heretic due to this, but house leadership is willing to ‘let him cook’ -> they’ll wait to see if a necromancer with a stable cancer is still powerful before they decide whether to censure his research or not.

Sixth House: Jeannemary and Isaac. They’re still young, but very good at getting into places they’re not supposed to be, particularly by breaking wards and then rebuilding them better. Both of them keep trying to apply into the cohort but the scholars of the Sixth see Isaac’s skills with wards and want him to pursue academia instead. When the summons to Canaan House came the council all looked at each other, remembered they still had to appoint a new master warden after the last one passed, figured that nobody wanted to abandon their current study/experiments to go participate to what would be sure to be a tedious dick measuring contest with the other house heirs, and decided to invoke an obscure emergency clause in a law book somewhere in order to appoint Isaac to the title. He and Jeannemary really were the only ones who actually wanted to go to Canaan.

Fifth House: Dulcinea and Protesilaus. It is a shame that her health is so poor, because she would otherwise have become a hell of an ruler. While she has an ease with history and academia, her true skill is diplomacy. Dulcinea can get a very accurate read on most people, and she knows how to use their own psychology against them to make them agree to her ideas. She looks nice and fragile, but she is cunning. Meanwhile, Protesilaus is surprisingly good at paperwork for a guy who looks like he eats skulls for breakfast.

Fourth House: Judith and Martha. This AU version of them is less cocksure, but just as proficient at gathering information, profiling people, and writing down ample notes. Their rank in the cohort is lower than in canon, and they often get assigned to the tasks nobody else wants. Such as: overseeing security on ships bringing prisoners to the Ninth House prison installation… and this is how Judith and Corona met.

Third House: Harrow and Gideon. Once upon a time, the Ninth House sent them an orphan they claimed was theirs. The King and Queen didn’t pay the mystery much mind and stuck the baby in an orphanage. They had their own troubles to deal with: the royal family had not been able to produce a necromantic heir yet, and the vassal families were closing in. They figured that they couldn’t let a lesser branch of the family inherit the Third; it had never been done, would discredit them in the eyes of the other Houses, and would cause political instability. So in order to ensure the necromantic potential of their latest vat baby experiment, the King and Queen sacrificed the children in one of the lesser orphanages. They claimed that an hull breach in the space station caused the poisonous air of the planet’s upper atmosphere to get inside the ventilation system… except there was one survivor. The King and Queen were weirded out by that seemingly unkillable toddler but public opinion was heavily positive towards the ‘miracle survivor’. Not to mention having at least one person survive the incident helps make the ‘it was an accident’ excuse sound more credible. So the King and Queen brought the child to the palace and decided to do some PR by giving her a place to live and an education, and eventually made her the Cavalier of their (powerful) new daughter.

Second House: Silas and Column. Duty-bound, fanatic, no fun allowed Silas is a bit young for military service, but that doesn’t stop him from climbing the ranks. Column is still used as a battery, even in this AU, except his role is to start killing people to produce the initial necromantic boom to give Silas something to work with when they deploy to new battlefields. He hates doing this btw.

[madmaxified]

letting myself cook and sharing my dead boy detectives swap au on here ‼️

( also i wanna note that if an adult and teen swap so do their ages, so some characters are aged down and some are aged up )

the night nurse ( or charlie as i have graciously renamed her in reference to what charles said in the finale ) takes edwin's place, still dies in the 1920’s but however, instead of dying at the boarding school, she dies in a ‘I hate women look i have a spell book boom demonic sacrifice’ style hate crime and that’s how she ends up in hell ( it’s giving rosalie from twilight’s death ) she’s still a bookish, nerdy little shut in, but there’s less of edwin’s sass and more of her being so blunt and straight to the point that she often comes off as quite rude

jenny takes charles’s place, she dies in the late 1980’s early 1990’s but instead of getting attacked by classmates her abusive, alcoholic father almost beats her to death and then she wanders out into the night in the middle of winter and dies of extreme hypothermia. she’s a lot more upbeat and outgoing than canon jenny is but is still giving jade west vibes. when it comes to her trauma and how she died, she’s alot more cagey about it and gets angry and just flat out mean any time someone brings it up so charlie always avoided talking about it. she’s a gay little fella and is one hundred percent fully aware of and comfortable with that fact.

charlie is still absolutely and one hundred percent in love with jenny but has a really hard time understanding feelings and so she’s not really sure what she feels most of time. jenny is utterly devoted to and in love with charlie but never knows when to tell her

esther is swapped with crystal comes from a long line of witches and has inherited those magical abilities and ability to see everything supernatural, but she’s lost her memories due to a sketchy deal with a demon she made in order to get out of some ‘trouble’ ( she killed her cheating boyfriend and his lover and wanted it covered up ) her and jenny make out a lot and it’s very messy and filled with way too many feelings and they’re not super good for eachother and it only makes charlie hate esther more. she’s a lot most mischievous than crystal is and legitimately believes lying, scheming and violence is the solution to every problem the agency encounters, she eventually leans tho because character development!

monty is swapped with niko and is the scooby doo obsessed nerd that lives across the hall from esther. he’s just as sweet as he is in canon and is the girl’s emotional support, grounded in reality member who’s job is essentially to make sure nobodies emotions get so incredibly out of whack no one can do their job

crystal and niko are a witch / physic medium and her cat familiar who was once a human girl. niko’s relationship with charlie is not romantic at all and instead niko and crystal have an insane toxic yuri arc going on. once they were both human and in love and happy but after lillith granted crystal eternal life niko realized she needed a way to be with her forever. crystal promised they could be together if niko let her ‘change’ her and then she made her gf into an immortal cat who she kinda emotionally manipulates ( toxic yuri save me save me toxic yuri )

edwin is esther and monty’s landlord, instead of running a butcher shop he runs a small independent bookstore and is still struggling to figure himself out. he’s less mean than jenny is initially, except to crystal he’s very mean to her, but is still very overprotective of his tenants

charles is the night nurse, overworked, underpaid and stuck in a job he doesn’t want, he’s just working towards retirement, and if he can catch those slippery dead girl detectives that might just been the case that fills out his retirement requirements. he’s just as fed up, if not more, than the night nurse is in canon

maxine is the cat queen, and on top of flirting with charlie and giving the poor girl a horrible sexuality crisis, she’s also flirting and teasing jenny every time the two get close, something jenny does not appreciate at all. her connection to crystal is through niko because since she’s a cat most of the time she’s technically one of maxine’s subjects so she’s always looking out for her

thomas ( the cat king ) is the pet shop manager with big heart eyes for edwin, who after being set up on a date with edwin by monty, reveals that he’s actually a creepy weirdo and then he dies ( everyone cheered )

bonus : when charlie confesses to jenny on the stairway to hell jenny confesses back and they share a kiss before escaping hell forever

( bonus two : this is only one of two swap aus I have for this show mwa ha ha )

[mirach]

About Job and coffee (GO2 spoilers)

This is a synthesis of several theories I've seen and some of my own. There are several hints throughout s2 about what is important:

- Gabriel arranges the books by the first letter of their content. The playlists released by Amazon have messages in the first letters of the songs. First letters are important.

- As @cassieoh pointed out, the coffee is, specifically, Oat Milk Latte with Almond Syrup. OMLAS

- Omelas is a city in a story by Ursula Le Guin where everyone is happy and comfortable for the price of one child being kept in misery.

- The story about Job reflects this. Job is good. Job is God's favourite. He loses everything (but not what matters most, thanks to A&C's deception).

- There may be a parallel between Aziraphale and Job. Aziraphale also loses everything at the end of s2. Earth, his bookshop, Crowley.

- We don't see the full conversation with Metatron. Others already pointed out his manipulation techniques and that the coffee might be poisoned. I don't think it is poisoned, but I think the other option offered was in the name of the coffee shop. So predictable that nobody picks death, right?

- (I already made a post about this but I'll mention it again) the Book of Life was mentioned several times, but never used. I think that was the other option: Aziraphale and/or Crowley would be erased as if they never existed. Apocalypse 1.0 would happen (and one of them would be lonely for 6000 years)

- Erasing things from existence is important, too. We saw Nina erasing the Eccles cakes from the board, and they're never seen again where Aziraphale put them in the bookshop (noticed by @ariaste)

- Writing is also important. We see Aziraphale writing a script for what people will say at the ball and we see them saying it against their will. Metatron could do that, too. We can’t be sure about anyone saying anything here... (again @ariaste has a deeper theory about this)

- So what does it mean? Is Aziraphale recruited for the position of the child in Omelas? Is he being tried like Job? Did Metatron erase God since we don't hear God's narration anymore? Did Aziraphale and Crowley talk in a timestop and swapped places as @lonicera-caprifolium suggested? I guess we need to Wait and See. But the plot is much deeper than it looks on the surface.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 1

oooh and now we have another countdown - this time its five days until the tomb opens! which is both concerning and mildly confusing given Harrow already opened the tomb

and a new image for the chapter header - not an animal skull or a skull at all but a cave with chains over it! presumably representing the tomb itself which in of itself is very intriguing

‘Late in the year of nobody she really thought of in particular’ hah, take that John

ok so Nona’s dreaming of a painted face … the first two immediate options that come to mind are Gideon and Harrow, clearly. in a body of water, could it be the River? or possibly, if the ‘her’ in ‘her hands’ she’s talking about is Alecto, it could be the saltwater of the tomb?

so far the first thing thats struck me is just how sweet the relationship between Nona and Camilla is 

‘A beaker of violently orange liquid, radioactively orange even in the dark’ what the fuck kinda eggs are these guys eating

and Nona has black hair! very long black hair which grows fast, which very much suggests that this is Harrow’s body, given what Ianthe did to her hair last book. this also pretty much rules out another initial theory i had for Nona, which was that she might have been in Gideon’s body, since we know that was picked up by the BoE last book

and another point for being some kind of amnesiac Harrow - Nona appears to have a lot of issues with eating 

Okay … so Camilla and Pal are sharing Camilla’s body, kind of a reverse of Gideon-in-Harrow last book, but not quite given that they somehow seem to have swapped each-others eye colours. it’s not just that they’re sharing a body, since Gid & Harrow explicitly retained their own eye colours, but some kind of other situation

hmm Nona seems relatively upbeat, but there’s a lot of conversation about militia links and black market goods, life wherever they are doesn’t seem all that great tbh

and they’re hiding something about the overall situation they’re in from Nona, and its very unclear whose side they’re on. given the end of the last book, the fact they seem to be in some kind of hiding on a non-House planet, I doubt they’re fully with the Emperor/Nine Houses. but then they definitely don’t seem to be onboard with, and have a very uneasy relationship with, the Blood of Eden, especially given the whole kinda-Lyctorhood situation they’ve got going on. 

and there’s an awful lot going on here. they keep mentioning a search and recovery mission, which begs the question for what exactly are they looking for. it can’t be the Tomb or anything because its pretty well known where THAT is. and Pal and Pyrrha have very different philosophies on whatever’s happening - Pal seems to want to help some kind of situation with people trapped in barracks, while Pyrrha thinks its not worth it. and on top of all of that BoE is not quite one cohesive group as it was described in HtN, there’s some kind of inter-organisational conflict going on. 

‘I know how to farm … I can teach you and Nona’ rip G1deon who never got to live his Stardew Valley dreams. Locked Tomb: the Farming Simulator when?

also it is interesting that even G1deon, seemingly the most loyal of the Emperor’s lyctors (or at least the only one seemingly not actively trying to kill him) still had a backup plan and wanted to run away to just lead some kind of a normal life

and they need masks of some kind? and Nona’s immune - more points for her being Harrow, or at least in Harrow’s body, Nona’s body clearly works like a Lyctors 

oh shit there’s a mysterious blue light in the sky that’s ‘periscoping’? It could be some kind of surveillance but i think its far more likely to be the seventh Resurrection Beast, which is there for … some reason? Lotta questions raised just in this one chapter

[the-meta-tron]

The Book of Lies: A Good Omens Theory

One of the thoughts I’ve had since watching and re-watching Good Omens Season 2 were all the references to the Book of Life. In the very first episode, Michael threatens that anyone involved with Gabriel’s disappearance will suffer extreme sanctions, aka the Book of Life.

Daniel 12:1: At that time Michael, the great prince who protects your people, will arise. There will be a time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations until then. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered.

Later that episode, we see Crowley and Beelzebub discuss the extreme sanctions:

BEELZEBUB: According to what I’m hearing, on a grapevine that obviously doesn’t exist, upstairs is seriously troubled by Gabriel’s disappearance. I’m hearing that anybody they find involved in this affair will be dealt with.

CROWLEY: How?

BEELZEBUB: Extreme Sanctions

CROWLEY: That isn’t actually a thing. That’s just something we used to joke about to frighten the cherubs.

BEELZEBUB: No, it exists! Extreme sanctions. Anyone found involved in Gabriel’s disappearance will be erased from the Book of Life. They won’t just be gone, they will never have existed.

This of course is the thing that pushes Crowley to help Aziraphale with Gabriel, to protect him from being caught helping.

Despite being a fairly serious threat, it isn’t brought up until episode six, again by Michael.

MICHAEL I am authorized to remove the name of anyone who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. You will never have existed, Aziraphale. I am the Supreme Archangel.

URIEL: Duty officer.

MICHAEL: And I-

METATRON: Excuse me, I’m sorry. I must interrupt you there. Um... Oh, and I’ve brought over a coffee.

MICHAEL (not recognizing him): I don’t believe I asked for any interruptions.

METATRON: I couldn’t help it. You’re talking utter balderdash. I mean, complete piffle. You don’t have the authority to do anything like that.

So... that’s it? This Chekov’s gun, this ability of Michael’s (and Heaven) to remove anyone from existing past or present is just a bunch of bullshit? Was it all just a contrived and poorly-written plot device to get Crowley to quickly make up with and help Aziraphale in the first episode and then this scene in episode six is the clumsy way of resolving the loose thread?

It is possible, but I’d like to operate under the assumption that there is a different story happening here than the one initially presented to us. I could very well be wrong. But this is just a theory.

So I’m going to make a couple of possible conclusions based on what is presented two us in these two scenes.

The Book of Life can erase people from existence but Michael doesn’t have the authority to do so, and was bullshitting the entire time.

The Book of Life can’t erase people from existence and Michael knows that and was bullshitting OR doesn’t know that (and was probably still bullshitting).

I don’t think that the first conclusion is true, either, and simply because if Heaven did have the ability to erase anyone from existence or modify reality on such a grand scale, why have they never done it before? You could argue maybe they have and nobody knows because of the whole existence-erasure. But I would argue that even if that were the case, why would they use it in some secret, unknown situations and not in the situations we see play out on screen where erasing certain people from existence would actually be useful?

Take season one, for example. The whole triumphant ending of the last episode was that Crowley and Aziraphale tricked Heaven and Hell by swapping bodies so they could avoid execution. Why, if hiding an Archangel is sufficient for extreme sanctions like being un-written, is stopping the apocalypse not? Do we really think if Gabriel “shut your stupid mouth and die already” the Supreme Archangel had the ability to erase Aziraphale and Crowley from existence, he wouldn’t do it? If anyone in Heaven had the power to erase Aziraphale and Crowley from existence, they would have done it already.

One could argue maybe also Gabriel/the Supreme Archangel doesn’t have the authority, but then who does? The Metatron? Then why didn’t he let Michael erase Aziraphale from existence (or do it himself) instead of manipulating a loose canon like Aziraphale to come back to Heaven? If the whole point of splitting Crowley and Aziraphale up is to stop them from averting the Second Coming, again, why not just delete them if Heaven has the power to do that?

And going back to The Beginning, if Heaven really could erase any being from existence, even demons, why did they not just do that instead of having them all fall down? Why not just erase Gabriel when he nah’d the apocalypse instead of wiping his memories and demoting him, if Heaven didn’t want him to become an indication of an institutional issue? That would have prevented him from being a problem and retroactively undone his nah.

So, in conclusion: I believe the Book of Life can’t erase people from existence and someone was telling a lie before that piece of information trickled down to Crowley.

But it does raise the question, what does the Book of Life do?

Some might argue that the rules of world-building in Good Omens doesn’t have to follow scripture exactly, except they really like to.

According to the Virtual Jewish Library:

BOOK OF LIFE, or perhaps more correctly BOOK OF THE LIVING (Heb. סֵפֶר חַיִּים, Sefer Ḥayyim), a heavenly book in which the names of the righteous are inscribed. The expression "Book of Life" appears only once in the Bible, in Psalms 69: 29 (28), "Let them be blotted out of the book of the living; let them not be enrolled among the righteous," but a close parallel is found in Isaiah 4:3, which speaks of a list of those destined (literally "written") for life in Jerusalem. The erasure of a sinner's name from such a register is equivalent to death (cf. Ps. 69: 29, and the plea of Moses, Ex. 32:32–33).

In the Mishnah (Avot 3:17), R. Akiva speaks in detailed terms of the heavenly ledger in which all man's actions are written down until the inevitable day of reckoning comes. On the basis of the above-mentioned reference to the Book of Life in Psalms, however, or, according to another amora, of the plea of Moses, the Talmud states "three books are opened in heaven on Rosh Ha-Shanah, one for the thoroughly wicked, one for the thoroughly righteous, and one for the intermediate. The thoroughly righteous are forthwith inscribed in the Book of Life, the thoroughly wicked in the Book of Death, while the fate of the intermediate is suspended until the Day of Atonement" (RH 16b).

So getting erased from the Book of Life doesn’t mean you won’t exist anymore. It just means that you aren’t on God’s nice list anymore. The Book of Life is for those who are good and righteous, Book of Death is for those who are evil and wicked, and the people who aren’t wholly either exist in some kind of intermediate limbo waiting for future judgement. It’s the exact same structure that we see for the construction of Heaven vs Hell vs Earth.

Remember how we were talking about the Second Coming being the big set-up for the next season? Well, fun fact, the Book of Life also makes an appearance in Revelations from the Christian New Testament:

Revelations 20:12: And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

Revelations 20:15: And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

So if being erased from the Book of Life means being cast out of Heaven into a lake of fire, aka Falling, why do Beelzebub and Crowley care? They did that already. Crowley wasn’t that bothered by the concept of extreme sanctions until Beelzebub brought up the Book of Life. It means something to them. Maybe because they know what it really does?

Now admittedly I’m not 100% sure that this works with Beelzebub because they seemed pretty convinced that Michael was telling the truth in their conversation with Crowley. But that entire conversation was hiding a lot, because we learn later on that Beelzebub was after Gabriel the entire time to protect him.Their desperation wasn’t selfish self-preservation, but saving the one they loved.

Gabriel was told that he would remain an angel, but his memories of his time as Gabriel would be erased. As if after his memories were erased, he would no longer be Gabriel, just a 38th-class angel. Then, when he put his memories in the fly, Heaven couldn’t find them anywhere or find Gabriel at all. All Gabriel had done was store his memories in something from Beelzebub (something from Hell, from The Book of Death) and take an elevator to Earth, but to Heaven he basically disappeared. When Beelzebub described what happened to Gabriel, they said that he vanished. There seems to be a strong connection with Gabriel’s amnesia and his absence from Heaven, for Heaven to not know where he was once he forgot who he was. Remember, they only “found” him because of Crowley and Aziraphale’s miracle drawing their attention. And they only actually found him after Crowley realized where Gabriel stored his memories and Beelzebub returned them.

The Book of Life is more than just a list of names of people, it’s a record of their works. This sort of stems from the Mesopotamian belief that the gods kept records of mankind’s actions and destiny. In Good Omens Season 2, there’s a lot of emphasis on people’s memories. Gabriel’s missing ones are the focus of most of the plot, but we get important flashbacks woven in with the story in present day, Crowley and Aziraphale even make references to their past events in the current day.

A lot of people have also pointed out how Crowley seems to be suffering from his own subtle amnesia. He doesn’t seem to recognize Aziraphale in Eden when we saw them meet before the Big Bang. He doesn’t remember Saraquel but she remembers him and their nebula work. He knows he helped create the stars but not that he was responsible for Banging Out the Big Bang and Letting There Be Light. Later on, he doesn’t remember the specifics of the gravitational rules he helped write and was once geeking out over. He remembers fighting the war, but he doesn’t remember doing it alongside Furfur. In short, I think it’s very possible when angels fall, they forget things. Maybe not everything, but certain details. They forgot their good works. Crowley didn’t remember what he did very clearly, except for the thoughts and feelings that led to his fall. (I admittedly have no explanation for how this can be true and how Crowley can ‘remember’ Heaven’s password but so many other things seem to match up. Maybe Heaven’s passwords just suck).

Once Gabriel lost (hid) his memories, he seemed to disappear from existence to Heaven and Hell (something further perpetuated by Crowley and Aziraphale’s joint miracle). Even Crowley and Aziraphale hiding Gabriel altered the memories of other characters, like Uriel and Michael, who could barely remember even meeting Jim once they got back to Heaven. Forgetting and erasing/hiding seem to be parallels to one another, if not basically the same thing.

So to go back to my previous question: What does the Book of Life do? It’s a record Heaven keeps of “good” people and the “good” works they did. Erasing them completely from the Book of Life may not erase who they are and what they did, but it would erase the record and more importantly their memories of who they are and what they did (at least for Angels and Demons). It wouldn’t retroactively re-write the universe, but it would take away someone’s sense of identity and their existence. And if that person were an Angel, they would probably also Fall.

Which, to me, sounds like a pretty good reason for both Beelzebub and Crowley to be worried for their respective angels, right? They may know that Heaven isn’t threatening to literally un-write them from existence, but that their angel is in danger of suffering some kind of cruel and terrible fate where they forget fundamental aspects of who they are (maybe even the person they love?). Which is a different way of erasing someone than what Michael was threatening, but still fairly awful. Crowley, after learning about the Book of Life being involved, only cared about Aziraphale, which admittedly doesn’t mean much since he usually does that. But also, Michael only threatened to erase Aziraphale for his role in everything, not Crowley.

Maybe that’s because Crowley has already been erased?

It’s interesting how the show refuses to tell us anything about who the demons were before they fell. Particularly Crowley, who’s angelic name purposefully is a large hanging question mark. It could be because Gaiman doesn’t want to commit to a certain angel for Crowley to have been, or it’s intentionally vague because the whole point of Crowley’s character is that he isn’t an angel anymore. But it’s also interesting to think the reason why it hasn’t been said is because it can’t be said. From a metaphorical standpoint, Crowley’s name from when he was an Angel has already been blotted out.

Who whole idea of “existing” with Angels and Demons reminds me of this weird response Neil Gaiman gave one time:

The angel Lucifer doesn’t exist anymore. Now there’s just Satan, the Adversary. Like whatever made Lucifer an angel was erased, and Satan is what remains.

It doesn’t fit everything perfectly and there are still a lot of pieces of the plot regarding the Book of Life that I still don’t entirely understand. But I feel like I’m onto something with the themes that memory is linked to identity/existence and how that is linked to Falling, and that the ability of the Book of Life as it is explained to us by Michael (and Beelzebub) in the show is misleading in some way.

Anyway, this is just a theory I came up with while reading some other theories about season 2, and it’s all in good fun so please don’t take it too seriously.

[punsmaster69]

24/JAN/20XX

managed to sleep badly again.

papyrus definitely noticed.

we were making pancakes and i almost burned myself without even realizing.

says he might make me go to bed earlier for now.

could help, could end up with extra time spent staring at the ceiling.

tried to read something but all the words looked like they melted together on the page.

when i was talkin' to alphys, she said undyne and her were having trouble too.

that whole thing with tori the other night, plus knowing how long frisk has been secretly staying up, combined with the other's sleep issues, i realize...

"nobody can sleep lately, huh?"

"IT SEEMS NOT."

"OH! BY THE WAY! I DID GET THE CUBE SOLVED!"

he showed it to me. sure enough, fully solved.

"so, was this what you did instead of sleeping?"

"......."

papyrus tapped his foot twice and rocked a little.

"...YYYES, BUT, I WOULD CONSIDER IT A FAR MORE WORTHY INVESTMENT OF MY TIME!"

"you can't just."

"not sleep."

"to solve a puzzle."

"I DON'T SLEEP. YOU KNOW THIS."

"....."

"I'LL MAKE UP FOR IT SOME OTHER NIGHT."

"that is not-"

"WAIT!"

"I HAVE AN IDEA!"

"yeah?"

"WE COULD HAVE A BIG SLEEP-SLEEPOVER!!"

"you mean like-"

"A SLEEPOVER WHERE EVERYONE ACTUALLY SLEEPS!"

"hopefully."

"HOPEFULLY."

so we invited everyone over and got a blanket fort going.

——

papyrus covered the floor in every comforter, pillow, and cushion he could find.

i let myself fall backwards onto the now bed-like floor. frisk copied me, falling backwards and almost hitting me. probably intentionally.

"hey. i'm no pillow."

they positioned themselves horizontally so that their head was resting on me as if i really were one.

".....well."

they looked at me and giggled, getting comfortable.

"..guess i am now. can't argue with that."

"YO! PAPYRUS!"

rotating around on his knees with flowey on his lap.

"YEEES?"

"Can you toss me that long one?"

undyne pointed to the pillow near his feet.

handing flowey to toriel for a moment, papyrus grabbed the pillow and hurled it at undyne.

she caught it and added it to the section she was building with napstablook.

a pile of cushions draped with a blanket sat directly in front of the tv. i hear mettaton and alphys quietly discussing what to put on.

"Ooh, this is such a good one."

"But will it make for good background noise?"

"Here, let me suggest a nighttime 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘤."

the tv changed to display a movie thumbnail of mettaton in branded pajamas and a stuffed toy of some kind in his arms.

"......."

"Oh, you're so 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, dear."

swapping to one where he's holding a book while laying sideways over an armchair by a fireplace.

"The storytime one 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 be perfect for this."

alphys glanced at the runtime.

hint: far too long.

"..Yeah, i-it'll definitely put everyone to sleep."

"With my soothing voice? Of course it will."

"Uhuh."

——

the tv was put on low, though i think papyrus was the only one paying much attention to it.

mettaton moved over to sleep next to napstablook in their pillow-enclosure-thing that undyne is proud to have contributed to.

it took a long time for everyone to settle, but the second the lights were off most of them were out.

alphys and undyne were in the couch, but undyne slowly slid to the floor over time, ending upsidedown. she seemed unphased. alphys got up and laid on the cushioned floor beside her to make up for the movement.

i looked down at the child mostly asleep sprawled across me like a dog in a dog bed and pulled a blanket over them.

speaking of dog; the little thing appeared at some point. even it needed sleep apparently, curling up by my feet with a surprising calmness.

tori's been semi-buried under some pillows (flowey's doing) and is peacefully asleep like that.

on the opposite end of the spectrum, papyrus is asleep within a gap in the floor cushion layer where it opens directly to the carpet of our living room. despite being odd, he seems to have found it comfortable enough.

flowey's propped up with some pillows between the two of them.

and i should probably be closing my sockets too.

[literallys-illiteracy]

so the poll has probably reached everyone who would end up seeing it, and even then i dont expect the results to change particuarlly much from now on, so it looks like the projected essay shedule in order is:

Free will, determinism and fatalism - Featuring: Will Wood , Angela (Lobotomy Corporation/LoR), Yan Vismok (Library of Ruina), Macbeth (Macbeth), Woyzeck, [at least one other literary source which is undecided], and Forrest Valkai oddly enough(?)

Analysis of the shared thematic of a more literal "Psychological horror" explored within the Magnus Archives and Lobotomy corporation - This one may be delayed if i can find time to listen to the Magnus Protocal

Catt in Wonderland (Alice through the looking glass//Alice in wonderland) (wonderlab) (also im planning on eventually doing a creative writing peice related to this)

Vanilla Extract. (2 cups)

Netzach//Floor of arts (this one and Gebura might be swapped as ive been accidentally alternating between the roland and Angela floors prior and i think thats cool)

Gebura//Floor of Language

Pedant's overview of Rupture, (this one may be moved up as i actually did a section of this script back when i first was making these overviews and never finished it.)

Death, life, rebirth, and metamorphasis as an allegory - Featuring: Emil Sinclair (from the book), Emil Sinclair (Limbus Company), Yi Sang (limbus company), the odyssey, Will Wood (Momento mori)

Option 9

Nobody tagged an "other" despite it getting votes, so the first other option to be tagged gets a free essay

Also i still have some other projects im working on, which arent on this, as i want to make them as good as i can (Yeah its the Carmen essay).

[meekmedea]

Your blonde v blond subplot is so cute!! I especially love the small romance possibility with livia and clemmie!! do you have any more livia and clemmie thoughts, or even clemmie and Persephone thoughts?

Ah glad you're enjoying the blonde vs blond!

Ooh thoughts about the girls, let me see....

This would take place maybe in their Academy years, maybe like somewhere in the 16-18 age range?

Livia & Clemmie & Persephone

Clemmie is a good dancer - we're talking ballroom / partner dances. While she prefers/defaults to dancing as a follow, she can lead the dances just as well. (Iphigenia and her swap roles all the time since they sort of learnt it together. All the high society families probably make their kids learn how to dance but most usually stick to being only a lead or follow.)

There's some event and Clemmie decides after a few dances that she wants to switch things up. Or she can see Livia getting annoyed with her current partner and sweeps in to steal a dance. And she's GOOD.

A possible Livia thought if we want the romance route: why is this sort of attractive... I mean, impressive. Way better than that sweaty boy from earlier.

`

Maybe Clemmie decides to play matchmaker too. Being from the future, she knows Persephone and Festus eventually get together, but right now the two are in their pining era and ahhh she can't stand it. (Nobody else can either. They're all like, someone please make a move.)

Livia is also invested in helping her best friend getting her dance with Festus.

The oldest trick in the book: Make him jealous!

`

The dance:

Persephone and Clemmie having the time of their life on the dance floor!

Operation I might steal your girl if you don't make a move soon Festus.

Persephone + Clemmie: *casual 'flirting' on the dance floor* Festus, squinting: Are they flirting or just really good friends? Livia, fanning the flames of jealousy: Don't they look great? I could totally could see them as a couple. In fact– Festus: *spiralling*

Festus hadn't considered this happening. Scaring off other boys is one thing. This is another. Has never considered Clemmie as a possible rival. Everyone knows about the Dovecote charm... he's a bit worried now.

Festus, in great distress. Shaking Coryo back and forth as he panics: Coryo, what do I do??? Help a guy out here!!

"Umm...Clemmie, can you please dance with someone else?" 🥺

Clemmie makes him sweat for it before agreeing.

The vibes are sort of like this meme:

Bonus

If we do go down the romance route of Livia/Clemmie, this is what I'd see in that future:

The ultimate blonde vs blond showdown -> presidential election edition

Guess who wins :)

May I present your next President of Panem, Livia Cardew, & her First Lady, Clemensia Dovecote.

~~~~

masterlist of AU thoughts :)

[bloodgulchblog]

Have you seen that YouTube video where some guy reads every Halo novel back to back and then reviews them? If so what did you think

The Brian David Gilbert one? Oh yeah, all my friends showed me it when it came out. (It was honestly kind of cute seeing how many people thought of me immediately.)

Rewatching it to refresh myself because it's been a couple years and a full-novel reread for me since the last time...

High fiving BDG because the Master Chief parts of The Flood were definitely the most boring parts.

He didn't have anything to say about First Strike which I think is a shame because I think it's better than The Fall of Reach and actually has A Theme I Find Interesting.

Rightful recognition of Contact Harvest as pretty damn good.

Rightful recognition of the Forerunner Trilogy as dense oldschool-style SF with deep worldbuilding. (Also the San'Shyuum thing.)

I disagree with him about, and have significant problems with, Kilo Five. He is correct that Kilo Five actually delves into some of the dark places in Halo in a way it really needed, and I would even say that its writing is extremely engaging by Halo novel standards. However, while he does notice the obvious parallels between what ONI is doing post-war and the kind of shit the CIA has pulled again and again irl, I think he misses some of the subtext I see where it feels like it justifies some shit a liiiiittle too much if you know the author's irl politics re: the military. He also doesn't seem to notice the character assassinations (particularly of Catherine Halsey) that I and a lot of other fans see/object to in those books. I kind of gaze into the middle distance with a haunted expression at the suggestion that these are the ones to read if you don't touch any of the others just because they are, ironically, so heavy-handed and feel like they treat certain kinds of evil as inevitable in a way that actually feels way worse to me than the excuse plot offered by the earlier/lighter Halo novels. (But idk, that's me? Nobody is committing a crime if they disagree with my frenzied insane person red string diagrams about Kilo Five.)

I'd swap Pariah for Dirt in the Evolutions anthology if it were me, but I think these are solid standouts.

Broken Circle is neat but really nonessential he's not wrong.

A one-sentence review of New Blood is probably not enough space to get into how fucked up the Spartan-IV program is, but yeah. New Blood is fun if you don't find Buck's first person narration annoying. (It comes and goes for me in that one.)

BDG you're an absolute sweetheart, I think Hunters in the Dark is kind of goofy in a way I cannot in good conscience ignore if I'm gonna review it. But it really really is so much fun and I love that one a lot anyway. The "it's like Halo 3... 2" observation is solid.

High fiving him again because I also found Last Light disappointing. And it is also a me problem.

Fractures!

Hell yeah these are all good pulls from Fractures, I would say Shadow of Intent is the pick of the litter in that anthology for me. Interesting that as a Kilo Five enjoyer he didn't single out Rossbach's World, which is the last we've heard about Osman and Black Box. (Also, that one is good.) I think Oasis is worth an honorable mention because I'm an Envoy stan, and the Forerunner stories are interesting but I wouldn't go for them if you don't already have a healthy interest in the trilogy.

This tangent is so fucking funny now that we know more things:

Oh BDG, oh buddy, it's really not for the people like you and me huh. (Disclaimer: I have no idea if BDG likes the Halo tv show or not and I have no desire to dig up evidence about it.)

Also, while you're here, this is the bloodgulchblog origin story:

Smoke and Shadow is fun so it's a little sad that when he ends that sentence with "whatever," I can't actually say he's wrong to. (Sorry Rion your part of the lore just.... hasn't... touched anything that touches anything else anymore.)

ENVOY IS GOOD AND EVERYONE SHOULD CARE ABOUT IT okay okay I'm cool I'm normal, anyway. Envoy is the Halo novel that restored my faith in reading Halo novels and reminded me that authors can care and know how to do nuanced, interesting themes in this space. It's great. Everyone in this book has war refugee trauma (except the Spartans which have Spartan trauma) and that's incredible to me. Please care about Envoy if you have spare room in your heart for Halo side characters.

I am cheered to see someone indifferent to the Veta Lopis stories, but I still feel petty for feeling it.

I don't have a lot to say about Legacy of Onyx here but it's always so fun seeing someone else suffer and care.

Bad Blood, the Blood is Bad now is a fun joke but lol yeah. It does have this very vital moment where Chief and Arbiter talk, though. For the first and only time in years.

PROPS FOR NOTICING THE YA NOVELS they're actually pretty nice.

"The Master Chief is the protagonist and boy does he shoot some people" is most of how I feel about Silent Storm and Oblivion too, I know they have their fans but Troy Denning's Chief books don't do much for me personally.

Renegades hadn't had its followup Point of Light yet but yeah, Spark stuff is interesting.

I had to remember that oh yeah, there are multiple books now that didn't exist when this was made. I wonder if he read them?

OKAY I THINK THAT'S ALL I HAD TO SAY as always if y'all want specific book opinions, I might have a tag for them. Or just yell in my ask box, I'm sure I can scrounge up some thoughts.

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

hey so I’m currently attempting to plot out (just plot out, I’m probably not gonna write it myself) a sanders sides murder mystery au (inspired by Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone and also all of the Agatha Christie books I’ve ever read) and I am doing Not Great at it.

right now I think it happens on a ship, and all of the sides took the voyage independent of each other. then someone dies, and at least five of the sides become suspects in a murder case. they’re the only (continuous) suspects because Random Witness #1 saw a middle-aged white man with brown hair, and there’s only so many of those on the boat. as well as other reasons (ooh, motives. juicy!), but those don’t come up until later (aka I haven’t figured them out yet). nobody can leave until the boat docks on the other side of the Atlantic. and maybe not even then, because murder case. (idk if that reasoning holds up in reality. suspend your disbelief, I gotta keep them in one place for this to work)

anyway. people keep dying. investigations are made. can you tell I’m completely winging this.

the story is told by all of the sides as they investigate the murder(s), switching POVs. if a side dies, their POV switches from present tense to past, and begins describing the time before their death. all the sides are morally grey if not downright unsympathetic, because it’s kinda hard to make them proper suspects if they don’t have at least one good motive each, and having good motives to murder someone makes you morally grey by natural consequence. unless it was self defence, but I feel like the majority of the sides would confess in a self-defence case, so I’m ruling that at least the first murder was committed in cold blood.

I don’t know which of the sides should be the killer. which is kind of vital to know when writing a murder mystery. which of the sides is most likely to get away with murder? should it be all of them, Murder on the Orient Express style? how were the victims killed? what time period is this happening in? am I even asking the right questions? does this au seem at all plausible? I haven’t let it marinate in my brain juices for very long yet, so it might not make sense. thoughts? suggestions? I Am Struggling, so anything’s helpful.

-🐢

OOOH!!! That sounds like a pretty cool AU and definitely seems plausible!!! I'm not sure how much help this will be since it'll take me a while to come up with actual motives and murder methods for them (I've had my Danganronpa AU for 4 years and planning isn't even near finished) but I think all of the Sides being killers has really good potential especially with the POV swaps and if you're struggling on who exactly would be the first to start it you can always use a wheel generator with their names and whoever it lands on does?

[heartfullofleeches]

Hybrid Cafe - Wisteria

Female Plant Monster x G.N Reader

The day marks your fourth back after another renovation at the owner Cafe. The front area had been gutted of the small garden outside of the store planted by the previous owners, making room for outdoor seating. In the few nights that the terrace had been available, you noticed that strangely nobody was sitting outside.

When you asked, you were informed that someone called in and booked the entire area for the week. Sure enough, when you peak outside there was someone sitting at a table in the far back, all by themselves. You couldn't see her much of her features except for her long green hair and hands business at work on something. The woman never ordered a thing, but management didn't seemed to care. You didn't think much of it at the time- till one of your co-workers tapped you on the shoulder the following day as you were leaving the break room.

"Hey- the lady outside requested you today. Booked the whole afternoon too."

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know." You grab a menu and head out to greet the woman. There she sits again, in the far corner of the area; right where the sun hit at that time of day. You notice that the flower vases on tables had been swapped with real one and not the plastic ones meant to avoid certain customers from snacking. The woman keeps her head down and focused on her task until you reach the table, finally looking up as she removes her sun hat."

"Good afternoon."

A large pink rose covers majority of where any human features would be on her face; her jaws kept in place as she offers you a faint smile. Vines wrap around the bare skin of her shoulders; small flowerbuds along their roots. A small crown of smaller, colorful flowers sits on her head; the little plants standing to full attention as she directs her attention on you.

"Good afternoon!" You reply with a cheerful grin. "What can i get you stared with today?"

The woman doesn't respond directly to your question; tapping the chair beside her. "Please, sit down for a moment. I'm not finished yet."

"O..kay." You take a seat as she resumes her work. Looking at the table, you see an unfinished flower crown in her hands. The woman holds up her palm, a bud on her wrist blossoming into a full daisy which she weaves into her creation. Final satisfied with the craft, she places it atop your head.

"There we are. I apologize for the brief silence, but it is hard for me to speak with you in person despite preparation. My name is Wisteria. Yet another fan of yours."

You fix the crown properly on your head. "Thank you. I don't mean to sound rude, but have we met before?"

Wisteria stays quiet. Her hands fall into her lap; head dipped low as the soft pink petals of her face slowly bleed into a deep red. Your eyes grow wide.

"O-oh- I'm sorry if I offended you someway. We can drop the question."

The woman shakes her head. "No, it is only nature, considering we are strangers. I just grew a bit flustered remembering the first time I saw you. I enjoyed the garden that was here before the owner took it away, but one the day- I saw you. I didn't even know it was gone until this week as I've been sitting in the back of the cafe observing you. I was too embarrassed to request your attention as closed spaces like that cause my petals to wilt."

You place your hand on her shoulder. "I... I'm sorry to hear that. They're beautiful- by the way."

A red rose blossoms in the crown above her head. "Thank you.. Now that that's out of the way, may I have a glass of water? Preferably with some sugar?"

"Of course! I'll be right back." You stand up to go get the water, but she grabs you arm.

"I know I should request things of you outside of work- but could you please take care of the flowers in that crown? The knots are loose if you'd like to pot them."

You nod. "Sure. Let me go get that drink for you."

Wisteria let's you go as you head off, leaning against the table as you exit the room. She picks up a rose from the vase on the table; twisting it in her fingers. She sits back in her chair, following you through the busy Cafe through the eyes of her little spies. She smiles, know that now she could be with you wherever you go.

[monsterblogging]

If you're thinking about reading the Pacific Rim novelization... you should know this first.

The only thing Alex Irvine's novelization of Pacific Rim is good for is scraping lore; and if you wanna do that, you have to compare it with all the other available text (Beacham's blog, creator interviews, Pacific Rim: Man, Machines, & Monsters, Tales From Year Zero, and Tales From The Drift) because some of the information is wrong or outdated. (Oh, and also, some of the information in PR:MMM is wrong or outdated. And Beacham occasionally hecks things up. You have to really compare your texts here.)

The novelization, you see, is just constantly like this:

Extra racism!

Nobody did embarrassment like the Japanese. Mako blushed right to her hairline and bowed several times.

Pretentious prose over authentic emotion! (Also, bonus typo!)

Whenever he got to construct something, he had that crackle in his head… especially when he was about to do something as balls-out crazy as Drift with a sample of a dead kaiju. Swap neurotrasmissions with a silicate cerebellum. Open himself up to the alien alpha waves of a nonhuman sentience.

Casual misogyny!

Mako Mori was a puzzle, and she didn’t seem to be interested in letting anyone solve her.

Hanging lampshades on "problems" that only exist in Alex Irvine's mind!

“Everybody out of here, now!” Tendo Choi started yanking cables out of the control console, hoping to cause some kind of crash in Gipsy Danger’s systems. It occurred to him that he’d shouted in Chinese, but people seemed to have gotten the message.

Capitalist bootlicker Newt!

Newt was almost as surprised. The entire Pan-Pacific Defense initiative was funded by a black marketeer who recouped his investment by selling parts of the kaiju whose killing he had financed. And some of the parts were purchased by Kaiju Science! Newt probably had tissue and organs on his lab tables that came from this Hannibal Chau person. Now that was a public-private partnership, Newt thought admiringly.

So yeah, if you're going to read the novelization, please know what you're getting into first. It's honestly one of the worst books I've ever read.

[penig]

a question of power, Pt 1

"Hastur was a Duke of Hell. Crowley wasn't even a local counsellor." Good Omens, the Book, 1990, p. 186 of my (apparently 1st edition, 1st printing, sweet; too bad the dust jacket's so torn up) hardback copy.

This is probably the only definitive statement concerning Crowley and Aziraphale's power levels we will ever get. Between Gaiman and Pratchett's cavalier attitude toward worldbuilding and the ineffable accounting of supernatural powers that human minds can't properly conceive, we're on our own quantifying this stuff. Certainly anything we figure out now may be confirmed or contradicted or cast in an entirely new light when we finally have the entire story in front of us.

Will this stop us from trying before we get all the data in hand? No, of course not.

Personally, I only care insofar as it relates to characterization, but to some people it matters a lot. And Crowley looks a lot more powerful than a local counsellor, on the face of it, in the video adaptation. (Which is where the "Crowley was Raphael" headcanon comes from. Personally, I despise that headcanon, but you do you.) Whereas Aziraphale often comes across as barely powerful at all, and reluctant to use what power he has.

This is unsatisfactory for those of us who want equality between partners. And we want to be satisfied with the story, don't we? So let's look at what we've got and examine the ways we can justify seeing them as equals, and where that gets us.

First, and most obviously: Crowley can stop time. That seems really powerful, and we don't see anyone else do it - which doesn't mean nobody else can. The way we see it used, however, implies that it's not something other angels and demons are accustomed to. Crowley stops time as Satan comes up through the ground, even though Satan is presumably more powerful than he and Aziraphale put together by several factors. So either he expects Satan not to notice it's happening, or he expects the effect to stop when Satan notices and acts to end it. Crowley also stops time when they swap bodies and checks to see whether anyone's looking, the implication being that it's not a showy power, that unless someone in the know is looking straight at the phenomenon, they aren't likely to notice it.

What if stopping time is a specialist skill? What if it's a power routinely used only by starmakers? In fact -

In the S2E1 teaser, we see Crowley crank up the new nebula to start it running. What if what he's doing there is not just powering the nebula itself, but initiating time in that area of space, to give all the processes the room they need to happen? What if that's his role, or part of his role, among starmakers - not building stars, directly, but starting time for them, or switching them over from the outside-of-time angelic workshop to the material plane where time runs? What if he's one of the few angels ever made who ever learned that skill? And what if, being the curious heedless little bugger he is, he extrapolated from that skill and taught himself how to do the reverse, and stop time in a localized area?

That's a lot of what ifs, but it would also explain a lot, reasonably parsimoniously, including the question of why nobody else is hanging around the nebula ready to hold the scroll for him and he has to call in Aziraphale to lend a hand. Everybody else had finished up their part of the job, and gone home. I am open to other suggestions, but I quite like this one.

Second, in the second series he easily accesses a file which should only be available to thrones, dominions, or above. When the archivist goggles at him he shrugs it off - he used to work with those guys, and they never change their passwords. But why did he have their passwords? Was he their supervisor? Was he a higher rank and security clearance? This, and Saroquel's recognition of him, are the best evidence the Raphael people have gotten to date.

Okay, sure if that floats your boat - but I've worked in a lot of offices. I've never had a supervisor who was any good at system security (or the work itself, not the work I was doing). Even when I was temping, I generally knew more passwords than the boss did. In my offices, the person who knew all the passwords was the snoopy little clerk who a) had legitimate reasons to get into everybody's workstations, b) read over people's shoulders, and c) liked to know what was going on and be one up on everybody else, including playing pranks on them. What's more likely, that somebody put Crowley in charge of other angels, or that his coworkers were the kinds of people who set passwords like "password" and Crowley was a nosy bastard? I rest my case.

Third, he drove the Bentley through hellfire and on to Tadfield, still burning - but we know, because God said so directly in the show, and the authors implied it in the book, that this is because Crowley had developed what, for a demon, was basically a superpower: he could imagine things, including that he and his car were getting through the fire, and shape the world with it. If we adopt the popular fanon that the Bentley is sentient and supernatural in itself (possibly as a result of prolonged contact with Crowley and Aziraphale) he even had help there. It's a power that doesn't originate with his demonic nature, but with his acclimatization to Earth.

Fourth, he can detect things that are obscure to others, including to Aziraphale. He "smells" when the hellhound finds the Antichrist. He can tell when someone's looking. He clearly has finely-honed senses. The only other character who seems able to do anything unusual with the sense of smell is (of all angels!) Sandalphon, who can "smell evil" in the bookshop, but apparently can't tell the lingering scent of a demon who sat all night in the space drinking from Jeffery Archer books. This seems more subtle than we are accustomed to think of power, and it may in fact have been developed out of relative helplessness, a skill honed by hypervigilance, rather than an innate trait. Or it could be innate and individual, or tied to the type of angel he originally was, or related to his beast aspect - we simply don't have enough information on the point.

All the other powers we see him use - shapeshifting, size change, transformation of objects, passing unnoticed, influencing living people (and plants, and rats, and cars), transportation along the telephone lines, mending his car - are things that seem to be routinely available to angels and demons of all ranks. He calls fire to sign the invoice for the Antichrist, but it's a modest amount of fire compared to what Hastur lights a cigarette with, and seems to hurt him. Driving 70 miles per hour in central London must involve superhuman reflexes and a capacity to clear people and cars out of his way. It's all treated in story, and can easily be assumed by the reader, as bog-standard demonic factory settings that anyone can do.

This is probably as long as anybody wants to read through, so I'll have to make another post about Aziraphale and the relative power levels between them.