#they'll like any comment as long as its not unsolicited criticism

[cosmicgesture]

I'm gonna make my own post about this, but regarding the ever decreasing number of comments on things like AO3 and even commentary and reblogs on tumblr posts:

I think some of it might be coming from a state of hyper-vigilance regarding what is appropriate, what is allowed. It's not just a case of we don't want to be perceived as cringe; it's also a case of not wanting to over step boundaries, wary of creating an impression of over-familiarity, wondering where that sweet spot of acceptable distance is, which is different for everyone.

When you don't know where the social boundaries are, it's safer to say nothing. Leaving kudos or likes or even reblogging with only descriptive tags is a safe, stealthy way of saying "I like this" without having to jump the hoops and hurdles of "I don't know what is appropriate to say to this person."

I think about this aspect because this is how I am specifically, and it occurred to me that I might not be the only one. If I consider leaving a comment on something, I spend hours scrolling through other comments or digging around to find the author's social media and see if they've answered asks, and how they were answered, trying to gauge what kind of wording would be acceptable and not cause some disgust or discomfort. I don't want to come off as mean with some joke, I can't come off as overly-familiar because the author and I are not Friends, but some mindless throwaway line seems ingenuine, sometimes a play by play works but talking to the characters rather than the author is ??? (either fine or wildly unwelcome), are keysmashes still appropriate or is that not okay anymore? Does this person like that kind of response? What if they don't?

etc. etc. etc.

Idk where I was going with this, just thoughts. And maybe it's just me that's like this, and I do sure feel damn guilty about it.