#they're all jews your honor

[germiyahu]

This phenomenon of so called Leftists throwing up their hands at the tiniest pushback, or criticism, or suggestions on how to not actively be antisemitic needs to be studied. Because what do you mean instead of just accepting that an antisemitic troll claiming to be on your side said "Zionist Occupied Government" and denouncing this and moving on with your life... you double down, defend, and deflect. It's classic DARVO, but like, when people are very patiently and slowly explaining how this is a literal KKK Nazi white supremacist fascist phrase, it's not enough? You don't care?

It's clear that the "pro Palestinian" left have been fully infiltrated by fascists, both Western fascists who have always been nakedly antisemitic and are finding the perfect avenue to mainstream their Jew hatred... and Islamist fascists who simply never cared that Jews are a global minority group that has faced oppression and violence in multiple different continents, they don't care about social justice or fundamental human rights. It's not part of their intellectual tradition.

The "pro" Palestine movement has been captured by people who have decided that a) Palestine is emblematic of all of the problems of the world, and that b) every Jew is worth sacrificing to correct these problems, because c) if Palestine is emblematic, aren't Zionists responsible for everything then?

Now the prevailing thought is that someone should be able to call for violence against Jews, someone should be able to harass or even assault Jewish Americans, because bringing it up, complaining, taking a stand, that's the equivalent of telling them you like children blowing up, you like hundreds of thousands of people being homeless and food insecure, you like prisoners being detained in Guantanamo conditions without due process, where anyone can torture them as revenge even if there's no proof they're an actual Hamas member.

Is there a reason they argue like Republican Fox News addicts? I guess that kind of explains how easily the "movement" is falling apart to literal fascists.

They say "nobody cares about your hurt feelings ZIONIST!" if you mention literal stabbings and firebombs. They say "but we should talk about how pervasively synagogues indoctrinate the vast majority of Jewish people with Zionist ideology." They roll their eyes because "don't you know Palestinians are suffering 200x what these cushy American Jews could even imagine?" Facts don't care about your feelings uwu~

But at the end of the day, they care a lot about their own feelings, much more so than the facts. They feel entitled to hate all Jews all over the planet, to secretly revel in antisemitic rhetoric and acts, to want to take out their impotent frustration and despair on any and all Jews they'd like. This is very much about their feelings and not any Jewish people's feelings.

They've been waiting for this, or many of them never cared at all. Now it's finally Leftist to quote Nazis and openly make fun of Jews who are getting stabbed. Now it's finally Leftist to call for incinerating all of Israel and maybe we should consider a lot of Diaspora Jews too, you know they can't be trusted! Oh but don't forget to honor the victims of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, innocent civilians should never have been targeted by America's vicious imperial violence!

The fact that it took this substantial contingent of watermelon twitter less than a year to go full mask off like this... is that revealing or troubling?

[hindahoney]

If you want to code-switch so often that you are nearly incomprehensible to goyim, here is a list of my favorite and most-used Jewish terms:

Schvitzing - Sweating. (Ex: "I'm schvitzing so much it's showing through my clothes.")

Schlep - A tedious and long journey, depending on usage it can mean that you were carrying something. (Ex: "I had to schlep all the way across campus, my backpack was so heavy." Usually denotes a long walk, but other forms of transportation are acceptable too. "You drove all the way to New York from Florida? That's quite the shlep.")

Shtati - Something really cool. (Ex: "I visited my friend's place and they had a shtati mezuzah!")

Neshama - Soul. (Ex: "Mazel tov on your conversion, you have such a strong Jewish neshama!")

Balagan - A big mess, chaotic, confusing (Ex: "Moshe forgot to bring challah for shabbat dinner, and it turned into this big balagan")

Achi/Achoti - "Achi" literally means "my brother," but can also be used like bro or dude, "achoti" is the feminine equivalent meaning "sister"

Yalla - Come on, let's go (Ex: "Yalla yalla, you're going to make us late again")

Mishpacha - Family. Doesn't have to be literal blood relatives, usually a sign of warmth or friendship. (Ex: "I care about every Jew, they're all my mishpacha.")

Pshhh - Interjection sound, to express respect or agreement with what someone is saying, but can also be playfully poking fun at someone taking themselves too seriously, can be used sarcastically.

Achla - amazing, awesome, great, the best (Ex: "You graduated from university? Achla!")

Sheina Punem (Shayna Punim) - Pretty face (Ex: My bubbe kept pinching my cheeks and calling me a sheina punem) Can be used ironically, in which case it means "a disgrace."

Ahavat Yisrael - to love your fellow Jew (Ex: "I firmly believe in ahavat yisrael, even if it's hard sometimes.")

Schande - Shame, dishonor among the nations, meaning a Jew who represents Jews badly, a serious insult. (Ex: "He's a schande, he feeds into antisemitic stereotypes.")

Schmutz - Dirt, stain. (Ex: "Use your napkin, you've got schmutz on your face.")

Amalek - Any enemy of the Jewish people. ("[Fill in blank] is the modern Amalek, they hate the Jews.")

Lanceman/Landsmen - Two jews from the same place, a point of connection between two Jews who now live far away from their hometown. (Ex: "Your grandma is from Crown Heights? Mine too, our grandparents are landsmen!")

Goyisch - Something not Jewish (Ex: "I don't listen to Taylor Swift, her music is too goyisch for me.")

Goyischekop/Goyische-kop - Goyisch head, a jew who thinks/sounds like a non-jew. (Ex: "How could you say about your fellow Jew? Do you have a goyische-kop or something?")

Kindaleh/Kinderlach - Little children (Ex: "I passed by the school and saw the kindaleh on the playground, they're so cute!")

Chamud/Chamuda/Chamudi - Sweetie, cutie, usually aimed at children, but can be a term of endearment between a couple. Can be condescending when said rudely to another adult, like "Sweetheart" can be in English. (ex: "Goodnight, Chamudi. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.")

Daven - to pray ("Are you going to join us for davening?")

Frum - A religiously observant Jew. ("He's frum, he davens three times a day.")

Treif - Unkosher, generally something not good, doesn't have to literally refer to a food. ("I trained my dog to stop barking when I say 'treif!'.")

Bubkis - Zero, nothing, nada ("Moshe got a gift from bubbe and I got bubkis.")

Kvetch - To complain ("I'm just kvetching, I'm not that upset about it.")

Kvell - Extreme pride. ("I heard your daughter made it into her top school, you must be kvelling!")

Mensch - A good, admirable person. ("He volunteers every week, he's a mensch.")

Chillul HaShem - Disgracing God's name, someone who does something that makes Jews look bad.

Kiddush HaShem - Something that sanctifies God's name, brings honor to God. ("I love seeing you wear a kippah, it's a kiddush HaShem!")

Bubbe meise - Little white lies ("He told his teacher a bubbe meise about his dog eating his homework.")

I should acknowledge that these are mostly Yiddish words, as my experience is primarily with Ashkenazi Jews. If you would like to add common slang from your community (like Ladino phrases, Judeo-Arabic, Italki, etc) I would love to learn about them!

[edenfenixblogs]

I’ve been thinking about this song a lot lately. There’s so much ire about songs by people on both sides of the I/P conflict right now. But I keep coming back to this.

When this song came out, Ireland was steeped in The Troubles. But the conflict was within Ireland. And the beauty of this song was that it honored the dead and condemned violence of all people. And it spoke up for the victims. Regardless of who they were or what side their families were on.

I wish the world could hold Jews and Palestinians in their hearts the same way. I wish we could all mourn together then start healing together too.

Some lines feel like they’re written about us all right now:

But you see / It’s not me / It’s not my family / In your head / In your head / They are fighting

I feel this so deeply. It’s not me or my family. Whoever you’re imagining in your head that is wanting this violence and whoever you are imagining in your head is thrilled to wake up and go to war—that’s not me or my family. That’s not anyone I know. That’s not any Jew I know.

And I know many Muslims and Palestinians feel the same way.

It's the same old theme / since 1916/ In your head, in your head / they're still fightin'

With their tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns / In your head / in your head / they are dyin'

This line, to me, makes me think about the people who are fighting and who do want war. The extremists on both sides. They’re not fighting for their people now. Not the ones who are alive. They are fighting to avenge people whose grandparents wronged someone else’s grandparents who wronged their grandparents, etc.

And it’s not that those wrongs are unimportant and shouldn’t be addressed, but no amount of fighting will undo damage that’s already done. “In your head they are dying,” but they aren’t because they’re dead and gone already. And the people you’re hurting now are just going to remember that you’ve hurt them. But you can’t change the past or bring back the dead. They’re not fighting anymore, and we shouldn’t either.

While I understood the emotion of the song, I never really understood the importance of the word zombie in the song before 10/7.

In your head / in your head

Zombie / zombie / zombie-ie-ie

What's in your head / in your head?

Zombie / zombie / zombie-ie-ie-ie…

I get it now. This conflict is like a horde of zombies but they’re all piloted by the zombies in your head. The mutated corpses of the ones who’ve already died at this all-consuming disease of a conflict. And more violence won’t solve anything. All it will do is create more zombies. The only solution is just to stop. We can’t keep sleep waking into killing each other like we’re mindless zombies. It has to end. We have to tell Netanyahu and the Likud and Hamas and Hezbollah all to go fuck themselves because their strategies aren’t solving anything.

We have to stop letting them turn us all into zombies in their heads or their politics will turn us all into corpses in reality.

Choose peace.

Choose life.

Choose a future.

[forthegothicheroine]

Do you have any thoughts about how to do fascism in Arthuriana? Like partially inspired by T.H. White I was thinking of writing Lucius as a sort of combination of a 30s Dictator and the crusading ideal that you get in Medieval literature, which of course looks quite repugnant by today's standards.

I've been turning this over in my head for a few days as it's a very interesting question! To start, let me talk about two versions that did it to different ends.

As you mentioned, in The Once and Future King, Mordred becomes a Hitler (or British fascist) analogue, and predicates his rise to power on persecuting Jews and Moors. I wasn't sure how I felt about this at first, but after thinking it over, I realized that World War II was the defining trauma of White's generation, and if he's going to write about a political faction destroying Britain and plunging it into apocalyptic war, how could they not be fascists? (Plus I got a fanfic out of it.)

On the other hand, in the 2004 King Arthur movie, which I actually overall enjoyed, they made Cerdic the Saxon their fascist villain. He orders all the Celtic women killed so that his men won't breed with them and produce more of their disgusting race...which, if you know anything about the Saxon invasion, is more or less the opposite of how it went. It's like a darker version of the 'tightlacing into dresses without waists' scene in Bridgerton- I'm not a stickler for historical accuracy, but I need it to at least make sense in the world that's being presented to me on screen.

So, what's the deal with fascism? I'll let Umberto Eco give the greater picture, but when I think of fascist villains, I think of three things- an "us" who is great, a "them" who are simultaneously weak and strong, and a mythic "good old days" that never really existed. Given that Arthuriana is a mishmash of time periods and ethnic groups as it is, you have a lot to choose from, both in terms of making it make sense in universe, and in terms of it feeling resonant to a 21st century reader.

If Lucius is your villain (a good choice, I think, he's not used as much as he could be) then you're positioning the "us" as either Rome or Italy. I say "either" because Malory et al had him as an anachronistic Roman emperor, but the Squires Tales series made the interesting choice of him being an Italian prince styling himself the modern Caesar. I'm not Italian, but I think this is something that politicians from Mussolini to Berlusconi have tried to position themselves as to some extent, so I think there's room to explore there.

If "us" is Rome, then "them" must be wherever they're trying to conquer. If you've ever played Fallout New Vegas, the Cosplay Roman Fascists there have "The West" as their enemy, with speeches about how they're doing a great job unifying all the disparate tribes but are hindered by the "degenerates" of the NCR and New Vegas. There are certainly tribes to go around in the British isles, any of which could be your "them" or your "future us, once then kneel." The good old days were the height of the Empire, of course, and depending on whether your Lucius is a Catholic or a Roman pagan, he can call upon a huge history of grandiose mythology to support himself.

If Mordred is your villain, then both his mythic past and his "us" could harken back to the glory days of King Uther, back when the Britons were strong against the Saxons and kings were revered for their might, not their codes of honor. The song Fie on Goodness in Camelot is dark comedy because nobody really talks like that about themselves- but they could voice the same sentiments in different language. "Them" could be Jews and Moors as in T. H. White, but you can pick any influence from the Picts to the Gauls as the simultaneously weak and strong enemy who turned Arthur into a man too soft to lead.

"Uther was a barbarian because he stole another man's wife," Mordred might say, "but Arthur claims to be civilized because he gives his away!"

And then there's that old medieval standbye- the crusades. Just what the hell time period Arthuriana takes place in changes with the writer, but having your villain either outright be a Crusader King or modeling him on one would give you a chilling model to work with. Slaughter and pillage all who get in your way, and you can justify it with ideology. Send every available one of your own men and boys to their deaths and you can do the same. And if the war never ends, so much the better, as your wartime powers never go away.

Thank you for this question, and I'll be very eager to see what you come up with!

[jewish-vents]

I lie to my parents constantly. They know antisemitism is bad and they're worried I'm encountering it but I know my father's heart condition is made worse by stress and stress will weaken my mother's immune system and make it even harder for her to recover from cancer. So I lie and tell them that I'm fine, I don't tell them about all the things I'm dealing with, I don't let them know about the things people have said to me or the ways people have treated me, and I feel awful about it. I know it's wrong. But I want them to be okay. I want them to survive more than I want to be honest. I don't know if that justifies what I'm doing or if I just tell myself it does. I feel like I'm a shitty excuse for a Jew, between the lying, the eating disorder that sometimes results in my breaking kosher and the dyslexia that makes my Hebrew so pitiful and broken. I'm trying my best. I just wonder if my 'best' is actually good.

It doesn't sound to me like you're a bad Jew. It sounds like you're dealing with extremely difficult situations in as Jewish a manner as you can.

Kibud av va'em, respecting and honoring our parents, is a central tenant of Judaism, but there is centuries worth of discussion on exactly how to do so in practice, just as there is plenty of of writing on the subject of lying for a good cause--such as protecting someone from a truth that would only hurt them.

It is also a central tenant of Judaism that your health takes precedence over nearly any of the mitzvot, including kashrut. Millenia before they had any knowledge of EDs, the Rabbis of the Talmud were already discussing the importance of eating non-kosher food, not only to prevent starvation if kosher food isn't available, but also if pregnancy cravings demand it. Now, there is plenty of responsa on the specific topics of kashrut and fasting with an ED, and the overall consensus is that being healthy about your eating comes first.

Struggling with how to apply the laws and principals of Judaism in a complex world is not being a bad Jew; it is perhaps the most Jewish thing you can do.-🐞

[columboscreens]

I hope it isnt rude or presumptuous of me to barge in and vent, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on Columbos family. I just finished "no time to die" and I can't get over how bad that episode was. Maybe its me and my headcanons getting in the way but No Way is he from a family of cops. And not a single one of them sounds like they're Italian or new yorkers the blasphemy! To me that mans from an Jewish immigrant family, and proud of it.

combined with:

yeah the whole "family of cops" thing in no time to die came off as cheesy, contrived 90s copaganda, so i just kind of ignore it. it's hardly canon, so feel free to do the same! i picture columbo with a big, loud, italian family myself, in which he's just about the only cop.

I will say though, i actually totally agree that he comes off as more jewish than not. columbo is, in canon, a good little italian boy married to a catholic woman, so the natural assumption is that he, too, is catholic. but peter falk was a very organic, naturalistic actor--as a student of sanford meisner, his primary acting imperative was to live and behave truthfully to the self under imaginary circumstances. so for someone who was barely religious himself in the way "cultural jews" tend to be...

what i'd pay to hear the words "had the fuckin bar mitzvah'" come out of that man's mouth

...to me, falk's "truthful self" is just so jewish to his core that, because he puts so much of himself into the character, it bleeds clean through to columbo, and we get all these jewish mannerisms out of the supposed catholic! (jews, of course, have a rich and historic presence in italy, so there's no preclusion on that front.)

once you notice the little things, you can't stop. his phrasings, his gestures, the ways he interacts with others, his boiled eggs, his gastrointestinal sensitivity, even his sense of humor.

chag pesach sameach

there are, of course, more substantial pieces of evidence than ordering chinese food for his extended family or needing an antacid every time he eats too quickly. i'm not jewish myself, but i grew up in a very jewish neighborhood, had more jewish than gentile friends growing up, and my partner of seven years is jewish. to me, what really codes columbo as a jewish man is how well he embodies many aspects of specifically jewish ethos.

being honorable, sensitive, and humble, he's the ideal mensch. one tenet strongly prioritized in judaism is tzedek, or one's ethical obligation to righteousness, equity, and compassion. he is both moved by suffering and tenaciously committed to justice.

jews hold the deepest respect for both religious and civil law, and you will note that columbo is neither an outsider nor a vigilante--he is a sanctioned agent of the legal system respecting and following the process of the law in his pursuit of murderers. he functions within it, sometimes in spite of it, but not outside of it. when he gets creative, he toes, but never quite crosses the line.

he thinks for himself and thus has a strong moral compass; he treats everyone with kindness and empathizes readily with individual struggle. he is patient, courageous, and clever--all particularly valued qualities in judaism.

(rakish semitic looks aside)

paramount is columbo's intellectual curiosity, love of learning, and propensity to question, which is, too, seen as fundamental to a faith built entirely on asking questions. whether he's gently yet methodically poking holes in a suspect's alibi or wondering how much a random stranger paid for his shoes, he never has a shortage of them. he's a little guy bursting with chutzpah, perfectly at home both asking a prime suspect if he can have a closer look at his hand, and God Himself to spare sodom and gomorrah if he can only find a few good people...

if you really needed any further evidence that he's God's Chosen...

[luesmainblog]

by saying that being against israel(as a nation/government/military) is antisemetic, inherently, you are equating Israel to Judaism; to hate one is to hate the other. by saying that, you are saying some fucked up shit about judaism. last i checked, the average jew is not in favor of bombing children, destroying hospitals, humiliating women, raping prisoners, despising arabs, stopping humanitarian workers or forcing people out of their homes. last i checked, jewish teachings call for one to respect and honor the holy land, not bathe it in blood and destroy the olives that spring upwards. last i checked there is NOTHING about treating your fellow man like cockroaches that need the world's supply of raid.

but israel's all for that shit. the government leaders are actively pushing it, the military are making tiktoks PROUDLY showing off the horrific shit they're doing, this is undeniable. they are NOT equal, and there is NOTHING antisemitic about having a problem with a country committing evil. you might as well be saying it's Anti-Venezuelan to hate Nicolás Maduro, or Anti-American to hate MAGA. even suggesting such is saying some very, very awful things about the neutral group.

or hey, maybe you can't think of ANY possible reason to hate israel EXCEPT hating jews! in which case.... you're just. Okay with all of that other shit, and don't get why everyone else is so very very upset. which is its own form of awful. edit: this is absolutely NOT to say that you Can't Possibly Be Antisemetic in the pro-palestine movement. some of y'all DO use it as an excuse to hate jews, and it's fucking disgusting.

[jellybeanium124]

a saw a post on here the other day that said something like "when someone says they can't do something because of their religious beliefs and you just have to be like 'ok.'" it was clearly incredibly dismissive and disrespectful, and I'm beginning to think a lot of you don't know or care how to respect other people's religious beliefs and choices.

Obligatory piss-on-the-poor disclaimer: I'm very sorry if you were raised very strictly christian, and yes, evangelicals trying to turn my country, the united states, into an evangelical country, pisses me off too. I believe in the separation of church and state, and I do not think religious beliefs should play any part in government or science. (in fact, an interesting tidbit I like to bring up is that jews do not believe a person becomes a person until they take their first breath, so fetuses are not people and stillbirths are not people, if we were going to make abortion laws according to jewish beliefs, then you could have abortions, theoretically, right up to term.)

back to the main point. if someone choses to honor religious traditions for themselves, and is not trying to force it on anyone else, then you fucking respect them. you don't scoff at a hijabi for wearing a hijab, you don't try and trick your friend who keeps kosher into eating pork, or even just act dismissive of it because "you know that's not real right? that your god doesn't exist and his rules are dumb and you're dumb for following them?" like what the actual fuck. how can some of you have so little respect for your fellow humans? and this applies to individual christians too. like as long as they're not being weird and pushy and in constant proselytizing mode, then you don't fucking make fun of them either. like this doesn't just apply to all us minority religions which aren't Big Evil Christianity.

I don't think some of you grasp that this stuff is like, important to us? Judaism is important to me. Following the traditions (ok not all of them, I am reform and eat bacon lol), and one day passing them on, is important to me. Keeping my faith and culture alive is important to me. I can't even come up with a metaphor to explain the importance of religion to people who follow one because any comparison would feel incorrect.

most of my friends are atheists. sort of comes with the territory of being a gen zer lol. and guess what it's literally fine? none of them try to "debate me" or make me feel like an idiot because I do believe in gd. I've actually had some really good conversations with one of my friends about all this stuff.

You don't have to agree with your friends' religious practices. You can think "I would never chose to do that myself." As long as they are choosing it for themselves and not harming anyone, though, you have to give them fucking respect. It's their life.

[silversiren1101]

👕 for cascade or jubilee? 🥺👉👈

For... Cascade! Minovae's eyes light with something between awe and nervousness. Cascade is so utterly gorgeous and her style... Mino presses her fingers together and begins to think. Maybe she'd like to go dancing together?? Mino is highly trained and experienced in Taldan Tango and other partner dances and there's a showcase coming up soon... would Cascade enjoy the honor of being her dance partner? She hasn't had anyone to seriously dance with her in... well decades! Aside from Woljif who she pretty much press-ganged into being her dance partner at the victory gala since she forced him to learn the moves as a training exercise.

Top: The first thing Mino notices is the color motif: the gold and black and white with red shawl. Hmmm... not Mino's typical color scheme but she can work with it! They'll have an opposite's attract kind of vibe for their paired entry. For this, she's going to go with a little bit of a swap on primary colors, bringing red to the forefront to counter her own paler and greener natural colors. For that, this deep crimson halter dress is absolutely gorgeous! The shimmer and shine on it will look great with all the jewelry she knows Cascade loves, and is what she would call 'tastefully' revealing. It calls to mind Cascade's usual red shawl but in primary, and the free-flowing hem will look great in the spins. There's a subtle floral motif that she'll carry into other parts of the look, too [and don't mind the silver, Mino will swap it for gold].

Bottoms: The dress is a bit short cut, though, so Mino also slides forth these shorts to wear beneath! They keep up Cascade's black and gold preference, and will create a fun peek-a-boo effect. They'll keep Cascade comfortable and should be plenty capable of keeping up during the dance :)

Shoes:  Right, the 'shoe' situation. Hrmm hrmm hrmm, Mino hasn't had to work with hooves before. She trusts Cascade to supply all the jewelry she has but doesn't want to go with just that... so how about these 'barefoot sandals' in gold color? They continue the floral motif and will look so fun between the hem of the shorts and Cascade's hooves! They're delicate looking yet sturdy enough that they won't need to worry about pieces flying off or getting damaged, too. Mino will make sure they're probably fitted to hooves!

Hair/Hat: What's that? A little bit of green in your wardrobe, Cascade? Well what a perfect color to round out the crimson and gold and also tie back into Mino's own outfit and colors she'll be wearing! It's tough to pick something that wont interfere with Cascade's pretty horns (why would we ever want to hide those!), so for her hair, Mino'll help tie up those pretty black tresses into this gold and emerald piece with vine and floral motifs! She'll leave some flyaways to to accentuate the spins, but not enough to get into Cascade's eyes, and this will pull everything back to really show off how pretty those horns are.

Other Accessories: So. Many. Accessories.... Rather than a free-flowing shawl (that could get lost in the dance!) Mino is supplying this golden lace shawl instead that fits more like a bolero top! The deep golden hue is so, SO pretty and will look gorgeous with Cascade's own natural tones. It won't be at risk of flying off and the front clasp can be adjusted with any piece of jewelry from Cascade's own (impressive) personal collection. NOW! That being said, Mino has picked out a few suggestions! She wants to continue the emerald compliment color with these various pieces: a chain circlet similar to what she's seen Cascade rock before but not as in her face and possibly a distraction; these thick cloth emerald and gold bangles and bands (love a solid block of color!); these bracelet and ring combo with chain across the hands (a classic look for her); and lastly these gold floral ear cuffs (modified for tiefling ears!) that'll pair well with the hair piece. Mino of course encourages Cascade to supplement whatever jewelry she wishes! She knows she is but an amateur in comparison >flushed<

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

"We know that these self-identified Jews aren't actually Jewish because their Haggadah is different than ours and I don't like it"

AKA

"Reform and Reconstructionist Jews aren't real Jews, and no real Jew has ever altered the Haggadah via a Jewish lens of modernization....what do you mean Jewish feminists did exactly that and a huge chunk of progressive Jews actively incorporated those changes into their regular Haggadah material, what could women possibly have to contribute to the Haggadah that The Original Jewish Patriarchs didn't???"

I have absolutely pissed myself laughing at these fucking xenophobic shitheads and their alternate reality, but man, eventually the threshhold for "blood is leaking from my eyes" gets reached.

Anyway, here's a bunch of links to different Haggadah booklets so you can all see for yourselves how many different translations, iterations, and adaptations ACTUAL FUCKING SYNAGOGUES AND THEIR JEWISH MEMBERS have been making over the last few centuries.

A shortened Haggadah for "first timers, people with short attention spans, and hungry families with noisy kids":

A more standard length Haggadah emdorsed by the Jewish Federation of North America's Rabbinic Cabinet

One version of a Reconstructionist Haggadah

Another Reconstructionist Haggadah based on the work of several Reconstructionist Rabbis

A Reconstructionist synagogue's supplemental material to the first Reconstructionist Haggadah chosen to incorporate more work and writing from Jews of color from several significant JoC communities

One of the most well known Feminist Haggadahs

The National Council of Jewish Women's supplemental Haggadah material

The overarching Reform Judaism leadership's main page FULL of different haggadot

A "Haggadah for everyone!"

Chabad's take on the Haggadah

I'm out of space to add more Haggadot, but please understand that even if you try to seek out a "traditional" "orthodox" haggadah, you will still be directed to A BUNCH of different translations, transliterations, content structure, and messaging. Literally, there IS no such thing as "what the Haggadah is supposed to say" and deciding that someone isn't Jewish because *they're just using different Haggadot than you* is some of the most hateful kind of intracommunal erasure I can fucking imagine. It would be like Israel having a history of saying that the Jewish people (and their descendants) who renounced their faith under duress during the Holocaust need to convert to Judaism officially in order to be considered eligible for Israeli Jewish citizenship, or that only converts to *specific* sects of Judaism "counted" legally as Jews

Oh wait....

https://elibrary.law.psu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1329&context=psilr

Truly, I love being a Jew in a deeply antisemitic country where neonazis have more rights to free speech than Jews criticising holocaust deniers do lmao. Truly, it is a pleasure and a delight to be denied my history and my heritage by people who insist that accepting and endorsing war crimes is the price I have to pay for "safety". I have never been happier to revel in the beauty of my faith than now as I watch the world justify crimes against humanity in our name when literally two years ago, all those same people were insisting there were "good people on all sides" in Charlottesville. What a lucky little traitor I must be to my people, my faith, my G-d, and my family if I dare to think that we Jews have the right to evolve and grow culturally in line with halacha, even when that means rejecting established tradition in favor of modern halachic and Talmudic conversations about equality, justice, and compassion. How silly must I be not to realize the necessity of denying our own people their existances because they dared to disagree with you, oh great speaker for Hashem itself!

May your names be buried in the muck you sling, and may you receive all that you wish upon others.

And to anyone who decides NOT to be rabidly antisemetic in my notes, I hope you have fun looking through a bunch of Haggadah formats because truly? Pesach has always held a special place in my heart. It's the religious holiday I have always most loved and treasured. Like yeah, Purim's fun, yeah Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are important (don't tell my rabbi, but she talks sooooooo long on Yom Kippur and it's hard to sneak out to keep my blood sugar from harming me without disrupting my loved ones in their practice, so between RH/YK and the erevs, everything is usually just a fuckin blur for me by the end of it. My rabbi's dad, our former rabbi, does a great story hour tho). But pesach is about grief and love and meaning making, and the memories we treasure, and I could spend a lifetime talking with my aunties and my adopted mom and her friends all talking and sharing stories and singing in the kitchen.

There are SO many different interpretations of the haggadot, and I don't think I've ever used the same one two years in a row, but I've almost always loved the one chosen. Jewish introspection at Pesach speaks to me in my so, and I hope it makes yours sing too.

[brain-stewz]

A rant.

There's nothing that I hate more than prejudiced people. People who hate others just because of their skin colour, ethnicity, gender, or sexuality. Or even if they're neurodivergent. Like what the fuck is that about. Let people be people. Like what do you mean you think women belong in the kitchen? Also that people under the Trans umbrella are born something and they should stick with it. As well as how people of the LGBTQIA+ community shouldn't love who they love and that people of colour don't deserve rights because they're different than you, a straight cis white boy. Not a man. A boy. Because a man wouldn't be biased because somebody is different from them. I just don't get how some people are just so hateful. It's sickening to me really. How dare you, a person who didn't have to fight for your rights and freedom, hate someone who did. You should be honoring them. Because their people who they stand for, worked hard in to getting where they are now. But you still decide to make fun of and berate them. I don't get it. We should be celebrating each other. Not hating each other. Hate is the worst thing this world created. Hate is strong, but love is stronger. We should love each other. We should be equal. World Peace. I want a world where people love and celebrate each other. Not one where we hate and berate each other. All of my love goes to the POC community, the LGBTQIA+ community, All religions, and all of the women out there. Blacks, Asians, Mexicans, Whites, Indians, Mixed, Albinos, Natives, anyone indigenous. I love you. Gays, Straights, Trans, Cis, anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community. I love you. Muslims, Jews, Christians, Atheists, Satanists, Agnostics, Hindus, and religion. I love you. And to every single woman out there, I love you. I love every single person out there. Even despite their differences. I love you. And other people should love you too.

[germiyahu]

When you try to make the legacy of the Holocaust a political favor done to Jews, you are paving the road to Holocaust denial. You're even planting nice trees on the boulevard!

To the historically illiterate Westerner, the true sincere belief is that Israel was "gifted" to the Jews as an apology for the Holocaust. This is actually a quite ingenious mental strategy to handle the cognitive dissonance of both wholeheartedly believing the society you live in was the "hero" of the story, but also that Western society is morally bankrupt and worthless.

See the West saved the Jews from the Nazis, but they also severely blundered by rewarding Jewish suffering with the state of Israel. It's clever. You can feel good about being the hero but also curse your own society for turning around and doing something that you'll argue was even worse in the long run (and they have been saying it's worse).

But then, it gets better! Since Israel is seen as an extension of Europe, and arm of European ideology and interest, it can be argued that the West had good intentions when they magnanimously decided to give Jews someone else's homeland. But they could never have predicted how brutal, how violent, how racist, how genocidal, the Israelis would end up being. You can curse the West but acknowledge it's not really their fault, because then it's not really your fault either.

All this context of the Holocaust being a "lesson to learn" or a precursor to some political reward for the Jews, that Jews have always been crafty and Westerners gullible... it's already on the precipice for those with conspiracy oriented minds. And this is already true and we've all seen it on social media. To those who think the Israel was a reward for the Holocaust, they think that the Holocaust warranted a "reward" in the first place. They can switch those around, and start thinking the Holocaust was a pretext to Israel. They can think that the Holocaust was exaggerated to wring more sympathy from the Europeans. They can think that the Holocaust was staged to trick the West into enacting the Jews' grand plan.

All it takes when you're at this point thinking of the Holocaust as transactional, is a genuine Neo Nazi, or perhaps a Hamas simp, to come along and say "Isn't it suspicious though? Don't you think there are inconsistencies? You should really check out..." and due to the coincidences and incorrect narratives that you made up in your brain, that have no basis in reality, you just might consider hearing them out.

So no, the Holocaust is not being weaponized or hijacked, for any reason. It was a historical event that happened. There are no lessons for the victims of all people to learn. There was no divine intervention or grand conspiracy to make the Holocaust about anything, or use it to bring about some political goal. You want there to be one or all of these things, because it justifies your preconceived notions about Jews.

So if a person is at this point, thinking the Holocaust was transactional, thinking that Israel was a reward, they're already on the road to Holocaust denial. And at this time in the Zeitgeist, they are way more likely than normal to go down that road, readily and eagerly. So be careful, be more cognizant if you actually care about the legacy of this genocide, about honoring its victims and its survivors and their descendants.

[fierceawakening]

Yeah no, people are just on a hair-trigger on the internet and are probably incorrectly pattern-matching you to the kind of a-holes who say "if you can't provide a logical reason for your traditions (that dont hurt anyone) they're unnecessary so we aren't gonna accommodate them". And anyhow they are being way too narrow about what being Jewish is, I'm secular Jewish and I only follow the traditions that are meaningful and valuable to me, I don't do or want to do All The Things right now

Thank you! That makes sense to me. Like the actual Jews I know, including the ones I follow on here, seem when they tell me what they’re actually DOING to be picking and choosing like I am. But then they make these broad info posts that make it sound like the only people in the world who question tradition are ex Christian atheists, and that we’re only doing it because we’ve experienced religious abuse. And it just feels super rude to me?

Like yes, part of why I vehemently defend anyone’s right to depart from tradition if they want to is that I’ve been in coercive groups! Sure. Guilty as charged your Honor.

But! That’s also had a positive side. Looking at traditions with a critical eye isn’t always about being upset! Sometimes it’s about noticing something is meaningful to you and thinking in depth about why, and realizing neat things about yourself along the way.

Like, I never thought that I’d go back to Christianity. But when I really thought about what religious practice HAD felt good to me, I realized that actually, for myself personally, I want spirituality to be about believing everyone is redeemable. Religion gives me a place to put that, as a higher value, without it being my personal duty to forgive when I find I can’t or feel unsafe.

Which led me to the idea that what I wanted was modified Christianity actually. I already understood and knew the traditions of a religion that did that, and the only thingsstopping me were 1) worry people would find out I don’t literally believe in god and 2) feeling like I’d be giving in to the man.

With 1, I realized that actually a lot of practicing Christians ARE functionally atheist. People don’t say it too loud, but if you look into a lot of art and writing, you’ll find “if there is a God, I pray that…” I realized this is super common! You can find people in Ancient Greece saying things in this way! If it’s common, then… people know about it already, and they only avoid saying they’re agnostic out of neurotypical social conventions. Which I’m not good at, so I say it openly.

Which means there are a whole lot more me's out there than a lot of people think, and that was ultimately enough for me to decide I was True Scotsman enough.

With 2, I realized that I’d become hugely invested in finding something cooler, but that I really didn’t have a concept of what this was. So I was posturing, when I already knew there was a community I would like and fit well into. So, you know? It was 2016 and I was scared and fuck it, I wanted to feel better and I didn’t care anymore.

But is that “I dunno I’m Christian because I just am lol?” It could be said, yes! Likely the reason I went back to how I was raised is in part that it’s how I was raised.

But I would not answer the question that way.

Instead, i would say that I spent a long time suspicious of religion in general, and ultimately thought about what purpose I wanted it to have in my life, so while “practicing Christian “ PROBABLY describes it, I mean something very personal and not generalizable about what I decided religion should be for.

I would be really surprised if some people’s relationship to their Judaism isn’t similar! But the narrative Tumblr has latched onto for dear life is “only Christians are like that. If you think it’s common for adolescents to have concerns around religious identity you don’t know what an ethnoreligion is.”

Which is ESPECIALLY galling to me. Yes I know what an ethnoreligion is, many of my relatives are Greek Orthodox.

Greek, the ethno, is right there in the name!

[anarcho-neoliberalism]

I want to continue following you because you seem really good on other issues. But I'm a little worried that you might see hamas and Palestinians as the same. Hamas was inevitable from an understanding of sociology and that in no way means it's okay for them to commit the atrocities they are committing. As much as I hate death I think it's okay to vaporize hamas for this evil. And I just still see this as inevitable. I mean I remember that it was I think 2018 when I saw a man praying for peace get shot by an Israeli sniper for being on the other side of a fence and not doing anything. It was a peaceful protest and children were murdered. Obviously the right wing nationalists with blood and foam in their mouths will be the first to fight back. The same think happened in Ukraine when we all saw the azov battalion fight the Russian invasion. Fascists and nationalists are evil and we can still expect them to care about the blood and honor of their group. But all I've seen you do is defend Israel and condemn Palestine. Palestine didn't do this, hamas did. I just really hope you understand that on either side none of the regular citizens are doing this or deserve this. The enemy is the fascists and nazis in government power in Israel and the terrorists in Palestine that have been given aid and political justification from mostly Middle Eastern countries that want jews wiped off earth because let's be real they're also mostly evil governments. I really do appreciate most of your other posts. But it's just that on this issue, it seems like you're forgetting that groups of actors and groups of races aren't the same

This entire time I've been making a distinction between Palestinians in general and Hamas specifically! But, I do understand that especially when it comes to this conflict in particular, people can let emotions overcome reason and they begin to see things that are not there.

Let me clear up any confusion you may have: My honest and unfiltered thoughts on the Israel-Palestine conflict is I think Israelis should be allowed to exist in peace, and that the Palestinians should also be allowed to exist in peace, both living in the lands they have been born in, but I don't have an answer for how to make that happen.

I do believe Israel is fully justified in seeking an eradication of Hamas as an organization, whatever the associated cost may be, but god willing I hope this war is short, and that the cost in civilian lives is low.

Come off Anon if you want to continue this conversation in DM's, or not, up to you.

[batboyblog]

thank you so much. your words are so sweet and thoughtful, you are a very lovely person for taking your time to talk to a stranger online when you had no obligation to. you're incredibly kind.

it's incredibly funny that you mention challah specifically, because one of the things i did after learning about grandma's story was researching a lot more about jewish customs in eastern europe. in doing so, i learned about babka. it's a bread with chocolate rolled into the dough, something i grew up eating - mostly my mom's version, but when we visited my grandparent's house grandma would make it for us with crushed walnuts. i loved it so much as a kid one of my first worries when my teeth started changing was 'how am i gonna eat grandma's chocolate bread now'. We called it chocolate bread, because up until the point of my research I had no idea it was called babka, or that it was a jewish desert from eastern europe. i keep catching these little things our family does that i thought nothing of until now, and that i keep learning are jewish customs. i have no idea how grandma managed to keep the recipe for it, she was so young when she migrated. maybe it was her sister, she was 4 years or so older. and to think that it survived to me and my cousin is striking. grandma is very old now, so i dont want to talk to her about this and risk upsetting her or making her sad, and i wish id had their brother to talk to - from what our aunt says, he was a lot more open about being jewish, albeit not about having fled Poland. So this has been a unique conversation for me. Thank you for letting me open up.

What you say about learning touches me. I want to learn more, to keep learning about this and to do so before Grandma passes on. She and her siblings were so brave, it's an honor to even think of having that story with me.

i hope you know deep in your heart that your words have given me a warmth like none other. thank you.

I love babka! and it is amazing they kept the recipe (and wonderful)

if you like cooking/baking I'd recommend picking up King Solomon's Table, Honey Cake & Latkes: Recipes from the Old World by the Auschwitz-Birkenau Survivors, The Book of Jewish Food, Modern Jewish Baker by Shannon Sarna, Jew-ish by Jake Cohen

any ways on your grandmother, in the last few years my 3 living grandparents passed away in their 90s and I miss them very much. I found each of them much more interested in telling their stories, talking about people who died before my parents were born. This was particularly true after my grandfather's older brother passed and my grandmother's sister. I think we as people have a need to share and an obligation to speak of the dead. I don't know her, but I hope you get to talk about this or at least some part of it, ask whose babka recipe it is, did her mother teach them both? or just her older sister who showed her? or was it their big brother? were they bakers in the old country? I know it gave my grandmother a great deal of comfort when she got Alzheimer's to share photos of her parents with us and tell their story before it was too late, I think focusing on the end of the story is maybe a mistake, she had a life before that and I hope maybe she can remember it for what it was, good.

We're all running out of time with them, every year they do The March of the Living, a march between Auschwitz and Birkenau, in 2019 the march was lead by 70 survivors, in 2022 the first post-Covid march, just 8 and people are saying it might be the last that has any... time is running out. When they're gone, it won't be gone, but our ability to... touch it, to see past horror to find the people the real people, it'll be so much harder

oh I'd also recommend Born to Kvetch, Just say Nu, and Rhapsody in Schmaltz by Michael Wex since at a guess Yiddish was your grandma's first language.

any ways good luck with all this, I do think you should talk with your grandma, just be sensitive in how you do it

shalom and good luck.

[taxiluzern24ch]

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