#they're having a mother-off. millions dead

[twinkle-art]

rage against the heavens

[californiaquail]

subaru count while waiting for the bus while my phone is almost dead: 23 or possibly 24 i didn't get a good look at some and also i have the memory of a goldfish. no offense to goldfish

[kvtnisseverdeen]

after 9/11, my mom had her hijab ripped off her head. muslim-american communities were shattered due to the american government suspecting every muslim in america of terrorism and subjecting them to interviews and even deportation. i was in school afraid to embrace my religion because islam was being equated to terrorism. i was bullied for being a muslim and constantly called a terrorist. and let's not forget the millions of muslims that were killed and displaced because of the war on terror. MILLIONS.

it took years for muslims to feel "normal" again. of course, we still felt the uncomfortable stares and the subtle islamophobia. but it was so subtle. we almost forgot it was there.

and now, we're back to straight-forward, blatant islamophobia:

a 6-year-old muslim palestinian boy was stabbed 26 times

rashida tlaib is being censured and her colleague openly said 'all of them’ when a democrat asked how many dead palestinians will be enough?

van jones said to take a stand against muslims at a pro-israel rally

there were 1,283 reports of anti-arab and anti-muslim bias since oct 7 which is a 216% percent increase from last year

pro palestinian protestors are being called terrorists and terrorist-supporters

celebrities like amy schumer, brett gelman, karlie kloss, noah schnapp + more are spreading lies and propoganda against muslims

this is why its so frustrating to me when celebs like noah schnapp and amy schumer are sitting in there million dollar penthouses saying they're "scared." no, you have nothing to be afraid of. the world governments are clearly standing with YOU and protecting YOU. muslim women wearing a hijab are scared. muslim mothers and fathers are scared. muslims that can't openly practice their faith are scared.

muslims have been suffering in their own countries AND in america. we've always been afraid. how can we not when a muslim child was stabbed 26 times, simply because he was muslim? how can we not when people are asking to take a stand against muslims? how can we not when a genocide is happening and no one is doing anything to stop it?

[evilminji]

...Wait. ACTUALLY???

The Portal is basically a doorway right? Big ol solid and sustained gateway from Realm A to Universe B? Unlike the brief blips of natural portals?

As IN... a Ring could therefore, theoretically, send out it's Search For Willpower. EXE vibes? Hit the portal -> go THROUGH the portal -> and continue expanding as the search continued until it hit a Confirmed Match(tm)?

You know... somebody INCREDIBLY SUPER LIKELY to match? Like... say... a Dead Green Lantern who? Had the WILL to continue on as a Ghost? Probably would get priority over any untested "new" Lantern candidates? Since they are somehow both in the system and not?

Recognized, yet a different species somehow?

The Rings records mark them deceased. Yet here they are, without a Ring. Which they OBVIOUSLY need, as Lanterns. Because once a Lantern, always a Lantern. Nyooom~ off it goes.

Off? Probably a whole SHIT TON of them go. Like? A truely, TRUELY alarming amount.

Think hundreds of thousands, suddenly wrenching themselves free of their stands and SHOOTING into the sky. Yes, a few at a time is normal. Day in, day out. Hundreds a day.

Not upwards of millions.

Not all at once.

A SEA of green orbs shooting up into the night sky like shooting stars. So many it chokes the sky. Drives everything to a stand still. All of them going the same direction. Some... EVENT... has just happened and no one knows what it is.

You have no choice but to follow them. Figure out where they are going and what's DRAWING them. You fly for weeks. Take shifts, following them. Alarm countless innocent people and more then a few governments.

It's....? Earth? Fuck. Of COURSE it had to be that God forsaken rock. EVERYTHING seems to come from there! Do you have ANY IDEA how many Lanterns they have stationed there by now? Multiple times the amount ENTIRE QUADRENTS usually take.

Why is it ALWAYS that planet?? Someone call Hal and his merry band of migraines. They're coming in hot. And NO, we CANT stop them. Don't bother asking. We ALSO have no idea where they're headed.

Think about being in Amity. Quiet day for once. You don't trust it. Something gonna happen, you can FEEL it.

A ring shoots past you. Then another. And another. Then dozens. Hundreds. THOUSANDS. Green, glowing, and like they were shot from a gun. The sky hailing ghost jewelry because God hate Amity specifically, apparently, and FUCK your premiums. You dive for your car.

Watch, baffled, at the Fenton house is SWARMED. The local crack pots are trying to shoot at RINGS. Failing to hit a single one. The swarm organized, writhing, and gracefully ALIVE somehow.

Aliens shoot past your car. They're wearing LANTERN get ups. Fighting the local crackpots. The sky is FULL of Lanterns now. Oh god, first Ghosts, now Aliens. Your mother was right. You SHOULD have stayed in Ohio with her sister.

The Rings break the Fenton's door down. The clattering is CACOPHONOUS as they push and shove to race inside. You watch the doorway. Some instinct telling you not to look away. Even as Lanterns and crazy people are shooting at each other not yards away.

Watch. The. Door.

Ghosts come back out. ALIEN Ghosts. Wearing LANTERN rings. Your jaw drops as they just... just KEEP coming. Every last one of them wearing a ring. You struggle to remember how many there WERE. As the sky turns GREEN. As Amity truely DOES become the most haunted place... anywhere.

You're pretty sure in the oceans of GREEN you spot the Justice League. You DEFINITELY spot Phantom. Thank god. No Spooks ever get away with shady nonsense on HIS watch, so whatever happening? 'S gonna get sorted.

And JUST? As you think... maybe, JUST maybe... you could just? Inch your car into drive, and sloooowly get the fuck out of whatever THIS mess it? Those white suited crazy people from the Feds show up and start trying to ARREST the SPACE COPS. For not letting them take unprovoked attacks on OTHER Space Cops!

Oh Shit(tm).

@hdgnj @ailithnight @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes

[cypherscript]

Pulling a favor

Been watching Hazbin Hotel, really enjoying it so far. Time to mix my obsessions together cause that's what we do here, ain't it?

_____________________________________________________________

"Okay, I can get you the meeting but once you're in Heaven I wont be able to go with you. Will you be okay?"

Charlie takes Lucifer's hand into hers, "I'll be fine."

Lucifer places his other hand on hers, "That's my girl". He steps back, a look of pride on his face before sighing, "Good luck, kiddo." His magic flares from the ground, taking him away in a swirl of power before he steps out into a room full of his rubber ducks. Flopping down into a pile of ducks reveals a throne like chair that he slowly sinks into. "What should I do? Heaven's never going to listen to her... but maybe... YES! Where is it?" He begins digging through the multitude of ducks before pulling out a scroll with a note, 'One Favor-open when shit hits the fan'.

With a flourish he breaks the seal on the scroll, tossing it into the air as it bursts into an acid green flame and grows larger and larger until it's nearly 6ft tall, Lucifer lowers his head: not quite a bow but somewhat respectful, "King Pariah, I have a request, I have need of-"

"Uuuuh," a voice most definitely not King Pariah spoke, "I don't know who you are but Pariah's long gone."

Lucifer looks up to see the flames displacing a human boy sitting at a table eating food with his family. "Someone... Someone defeated the Infinite King?"

"Who is it sweetie? One of your ghost friends," The mother asks as the boy stands up, grasping the 'frame' of the green fire. "Isn't Pariah the ghost that stole our town?"

"Yeah mom, I'm not sure who this is so I'll just take this into another room."

"Alright Danno, I'll save you some meatloaf," the massive man who was obviously the boys father.

Lucifer's mind was going a million mile an hour, 'The Infinite King was defeated... The scroll opened to this human boy... This boy defeated Pariah Dark in single combat... HOW?! Human's are so squishy.'

The boy released the flame to float in front of him, "So why were you trying to contact king edgelord?"

"I am... sorry... but who are you?"

"Ah... so you're not a ghost," The boy asks, tilting his head before a ring of pure white light travels over his body transforming him; hair whiter than the holy light, eyes as green as the flame he spoke into, a cloak of stars that continued for what seemed forever over a black and white hazmat suit with a crown of aurora over his head. "My name is Phantom, Pariah tried to take what was mine and I had to put him back where he came from but I suppose you've already pieced that together..." Phantom gestures to introduce himself.

"Yes sir, I have, I am Lucifer of the Morningstar."

"The archangel?"

"Yes, that's... usually not the first guess people go with, I'm also the leader of Hell. I had used this scroll to ask a favor of the Infinite King. My daughter, Charlie, is going to Heaven to meet with the other angels about this plan she has to save the sinners from being slaughtered by the angel exterminators."

"Slaughtered? Aren't they already dead?"

"Normally yes but the angel's weapons can completely destroy the sinner's soul when they're exterminated."

Phantom stills from messing with his cloak, his face stony and shadowy as the lights in the room begin to flicker, "Their souls are destroyed?"

Lucifer feels something he's not felt in a long time creep up his spine, "Yes sir, I was hoping to ask for a favor to protect Charlie while she's up there. They can easily kill her, I'll happily agree to make a deal with you for it."

"No," Phantom says, cutting Lucifer off.

"Ah... I see, thank you for your time," Lucifer goes to cut off the flame video.

"I mean 'No' to the deal. I'll help you but not for a deal, I'd also like to have a word with these angels as well"

"Oh thank you, Phantom! Do I need to bring you here?"

"No need, one second," Phantom leans away from the flame, "Can you guys put my food up?! I've got some duties to take care of love you!"

"Can do, Danno!"

"Love you, sweetie!"

"Right, step away from the flame please." Lucifer does so and Phantom steps through flame with a ripple. Once he's through the flame poofs out of existence. "Nice place, love the... ducks?"

"Ah yes, they're a project of mine..."

"Well, I've seen weirder obsessions. Now what's this about destroying souls?"

"Right, let me explain while I set up the meeting with the angels for Charlie.

_____________________________________________________________

Danny had never heard of such bullshit in his unlife and he worked with the observants for ancient's sake! He steps out of the portal provided by Lucifer, switching to his human form, to the so called Pearly Gates with some Suburbia Ken standing at a podium.

"Welcome to Heaven! May I please know your name?"

"Danny Fenton."

"Right let's see; Dan, Danielle, Ah yes, Daniel Fenton. Oh goodness, you've been dead for some time, why are you just now getting into Heaven?"

"Traffic?"

"..." The angel stands in silence then bursts into a smile, "Well regardless, welcome to heaven!" He throws open the gates and Danny steps inside, his nose twitching at the lack of anything. His eyes lock onto the tallest tower and makes his way to it, the elevator inside playing harps and lyres for elevator music. As he gets closer to his destination he can hear the angels and Charlie musically their debate.

"Ancients I hate Musical dimensions," He says as the elevator comes to a slowing stop. "Showtime," Danny smiles as his transformation takes place, the holy lights in the elevator dimming and flickering.

_____________________________________________________________

Sera looks to Charlie, "I'm sorry, the court finds that the souls in Hell can not be redeemed."

Adam is all smiles at this point, "Ohhohoho YES! I win. Suck it! You better save the day c*&ts because we're coming to your hotel first."

"Are you now?" a male voice asks from behind him, grabbing his hand as he and crushing it in his grip.

"Ah fuck, my hand! Who the fuck are you," Adam screams as the courtroom fills with the inky void of space and Phantom fades into view.

Sera looks down on Phantom and then do his crown, "What are you doing here, Phantom? You have no right to be in this court!"

"No RIGHT?! Do you know what this bastard's doing?! I have every right to be here." Phantom tosses Adam easily to the ground. "You're destroying souls!!"

Adam gets up and summons a sword and swings at Phantom with it scream, "What's it to you freak-show?! Who cares what happens those piss bastard sinners?!"

"Sinners huh? Then why are you here?" Phantom turns frigid as a chain of ice appears on Adam's neck, the end in Phantom's hand. He yanks it tightly, pulling Adam to the floor. "Mister First Sinner. How could you get into heaven?"

The other angels in the court whispering, asking the same question.

"How are you doing that?!"

"None of your business. I was hoping Lucifer's daughter would be able to talk some sense into the lot of you but it seems there's just to many rotten apples up here. Let me fix that." Phantom steps onto Adam's back, grabbing his wings and ripping them off in a quick pull, filling the court with his screams. Lute tries to come to his aid but is slammed into the ground by the inky blackness.

"Phantom that is enough," Sera shouts down to him as she flashes down to the floor, "Why are you here? How did you know know this meeting was taking place?" Phantom glances at Charlie, still holding Vaggie, causing Sera to sigh, "Of course it was Lucifer..."

"I'll freely admit he asked me to be here to watch after here but it became so much more when I found out what this asshole's been doing."

"He did what he had to do, the demons were going to rebel and we had to protect our own souls. They need to be kept in line!"

"There is no their souls or your souls. You are disrupting the balance, if you kill the soul there's going to be issues with the mortal worlds and if the mortal world goes so do yours. You were so worried about the demons attacking you? You keep destroying souls and all you're going to have to worry about is me."

"Are you threatening Heaven, Infinite King?"

The wings in Phantoms hands turn to ice and shatter into billions of pieces, "I don't make threats, Sera, I make promises." Phantom treads over to Charlie and Vaggie, thrusting his hand out and portal much like a blackhole opens up, "Come along you two." They simply step through with him as the court of angels burst into a cacophony of angelic shouts of alarm and outrage.

[abcd-adventures]

Not an "easy read"--feel free to skip.

Friends, it has been a week. I am so. freakin. happy. to have zero plans today (other than, of course, catching up on a million chores). B even slept in until 6am. I was so grateful I'd turned my alarm off because that meant that I also slept in until 6am; I honestly cannot remember the last time I've done that. Even my mother coming out here to disrupt our quiet morning and make a jab at me about not going to church isn't going to derail this sense of peace. *eye roll. She's been sick, so I just casually asked her if she was going to church today. She responded, "Yes. Are you?" Look, man, I fully support anyone's spiritual or religious choices and practices so long as they're not harmful to others. Personally, I have never felt further away from my own sense of spirituality than I do in a church. It's not for me; I wish that didn't translate into my mother constantly in anguish about me going to hell, but what can you do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, on Monday, I left work to take a friend to the psych ER for severe SI and a transfer to inpatient. Let me tell you, that process is horrific. As a therapist--and just...you know...a human--I actually cannot think of much worse for a person having a mental health crisis than to be put into what is essentially a cell in a psych ER. (And, please don't come at me to explain why they are the way they are because I do actually know all of that but my statement stands.) Thankfully, I was able to stay with my friend and eventually even able to transport them myself--SEVEN HOURS LATER--to the inpatient hospital, but everyone else was there alone. I honestly cannot imagine. While there, I got a call from CPS...nothing like that to scare ten years off of your life. They were actually calling about one of C's siblings because they needed an adult relative to release said sibling to or they were going to have to spend the night in CPS custody. I am not actually a relative, but I explained that my son is and gave them his number and then called him to prep him and talk him through the situation. Holy. Shit. Our house is already full to bursting, so I gave him money to get a hotel nearby and some essentials and dinner. Then, the SAME NIGHT, my husband had to call in a wellness check on my MIL and said, "It just feels like this is the night I'm going to hear that they've found her dead." That was not the case, but she is...not doing well, but was doing well enough to refuse EMS intervention.

I am very grateful to be able to support the people I love in facing difficult things. My friend is doing so much better already. My son is making me very proud of how he is being there for his sibling, and my husband and I are making a plan for what we can do for his mother. It is a lot, and it is heavy, but quiet days at home help. And, I would take the heaviness any day if it means that we have the privilege of being there for others.

[starlightiing]

I saw you were sad about your writing before you deleted that post. Wanna tell us about some WIPs you have? 🥺 ❤️ 💙 💜

Thanks anon I appreciate you. I kinda want to throw all my WIPs in the trash actually ahaha but uh lemme gather my documents and see what I have...

Pierresteban:

1. Car Crash fic. Pierre gets in a horrific car accident while they're in Texas a week before the GP. He and Esteban had a nasty break up and quite literally only speak for work purposes. Pierre, however, forgot to update his emergency contact and Esteban got the call at 2am. Tired and annoyed, he brings himself to the hospital with his proof of identity, expecting to hear that Pierre was stupid and broke an arm or something. It's much worse.

2. Android AU - Pierre is a very high tech android, the first and only of his kind. He's incredibly hyper realistic, so much so that he managed to fool a doctor. However, when he's debuted to the investors, they're afraid of how realistic he is. They tell the devs to turn him off and put him away for now, but Pierre was built with self preservation and he knows that means death. He runs away from them and seeks refuge with one of the mechanics that works for the company that created him - Esteban Ocon. Chaos ensues. Esteban steals this multi million dollar android and runs away with him to save his life.

3. Jurassic World AU - Pierre works at the hatchery with baby dinos. He's a "veterinarian" in a sense, and he plays with/mothers the baby dinos and makes sure they are socialized and enriched and such before they're put in their enclosures. Esteban works park security and special operations. When the park goes down, a series of events leads them both to miss the evacuation boat and thanks to Esteban losing his heart monitor in the scuffle, his security team sees him "flatline" and they think he's dead, so no one is coming for them, either. Survival AU for the boys.

Landoscar:

1. Young Forever AU - this one is a bit odd, but it's a sort of "if you fall asleep you die" scenario, only its "if the music stops you die" - based on the line "the best of the drums keeps us alive" from the song Young Forever by The Ready Set - tying it into the beat of the drum being the beat of their hearts. If they're without music, they're without a beat, and therefore their heart stops. It sounds dumb. I promise it won't be. I'm still working out the kinks. It's going to be the strangest thing I ever write I think.

2. Soulmate AU - Don't want to go too far into this one, but Lando is a star that is humanized when he makes it to Earth. Yes, it sounds similar to the movie Stardust, no, it's actually not. Oscar has Lando's stardust inside of him, and so he literally lights up from his veins up to his heart when Lando touches him, because it's the stardust inside of him reacting to its host. Oscar has to help Lando figure out how to be human, they fall in love, there's issues, ect ect. Their bond is moldable. It's cute.

3. Flatliners AU - this one has a lot of pairings but the main focus is landoscar. Lando, Oscar, Pierre, Esteban, Alex, George, Charles, and Logan are med students in their residencies at the same hospital. Lando is focusing in neurology and has taken a special interest in "life after death" and what the brain does when the heart stops. He approaches his friends with a very casual, "I want you to stop my heart" to mixed reviews. Oscar's focus is cardiology and also he has the most sense out of them all so he highly protests such a stupid idea. Majority rules, though, unfortunately for him.

Lestappen / Galex / Landoscar / Pierresteban:

1. Angel AU - first part has been posted. Post apocalyptic world. Some humans started being born with genetic mutations: wings. Wings are worth a lot of money on the black market because the feathers have dust on them that are used for making hallucinogenic drugs. Humans are viciously hunting angels down to make a buck. A lot of underground bunkers from the apocalypse are commandeered by GOOD humans who set them up as sanctuaries to hide angels in. Alex Albon runs a sanctuary (he's also a doctor). Charles is his right hand man, and alongside Lewis, they lead raids and missions to find angels, save them, and take out hunters. Lots of subplots in this one, but it's a lot of fun. And a lot of pain.

Alex/Logan:

1. Soulmate AU that I have not decided on yet.

Yukierre:

1. Soulmate au with soulmarks. Featuring Pierre being rejected by his soulmate which causes the biggest downward depressive spiral when his soul make disappears and another doesn't manifest in its place. Lots of angst here. Yuki saves the day.

Charles/George:

1.Inception AU - this can also fall under Pierresteban and Landoscar. It is literally just the dumb boys in the universe of Inception, invading dreams and doing very illegal things while dressed up in very fancy expensive clothes. Also they have guns.

[neoyi]

Six-page comic headcanon of Resh'an and Aephorul's first meeting. Some headcanon worldbuilding behind the "Keep Reading."

I had to alter some dialogues because the canonical text indicated the two "became alchemists", implying they achieved this job when they've already met. So I kinda implied that with Aephorul's line that he isn't officially sanctioned. ...Also, they're probably both not full-fledged alchemists yet.

Haven't pegged their ages in this comic other than "young adults." Somewhere in the college-aged range.

Still working on their younger personalities, but so far, I've settled on Aephorul being relatively calm, giving off an impression of a stoic warrior that people mistake for pure muscle. In reality, he's thoughtful, academically intelligent, and picks up on people's body language and gestures easily (perhaps the latter started off as a survivor's method.) He gives the impression he's lead a very rough life.

It also means he's good at hiding his worst secrets which, well, that won't come back to bite both him and Resh'an in the ass at all.

Resh'an, on the other hand, is impish and spoiled, a vast far cry to whom he will be later. He's lived a comfortable life in one place since birth, so he's used to a certain level of privilege. It also means his eccentricities are as much restrained by exasperated servants as it is a force that cannot be contained; he will get on his hands and knees on muddy grounds if he spots something scientifically fascinating and they'll have a field day he ruined his clothes (again.)

Resh'an's mother may actually still be alive. XD

Aephorul's family, as far as I'm currently deciding, are all dead.

There's a lot of stuff Resh'an wants to escape from, but the big one (that he hasn't told Aephorul, though why would he at this point, this is literally their first meeting) is his family's constant pressuring for him to get married, which is a ticking time bomb in and of itself, as it's not a matter of "if", but "when." Resh'an has been making a million excuses to put this off for as long as he could.

Aephorul totally is not a virgin, but Resh'an is. The latter is significantly more horny because of frustrated limitation on his sexual orientation (he loves his home, but it is not perfect.) He absolutely was eating up Aephorul as pure eye candy.

Aephorul more liken Resh'an as like a beautiful diamond in a sea of sand because he's far more romantic than people assume. ...He does not change his mind when Resh'an pushes him into the fountain.

Resh'an's home is generally portrayed as a good place to live, largely because I have story ideas that the ugly sides of it that heavily affects Resh'an's negatively is what will eventually prompt an immortal Aephorul centuries later to literally burn the entire city down, kill everyone, and end its dominance. By present day, it's all ancient history and Resh'an is the last survivor of that kingdom. As always, Aephorul did it for love ("Why are you so upset, Resh'an? Kingdoms die, cities fall; you're beyond carrying sentiment and yearning for home.")

[aingeal98]

I have like. Two versions of Damian Wayne in my head. I think it's a consequence of getting to know and love him via Morrison's run on him and then wanting to know more, doing research into his mother's side, and being horrified by how racist the retcons made were. It didn't really change how much I enjoy Damian in any significant way, because I liked him for his dynamic with the batfamily and how entertaining he is as Robin. It's just that when it comes to anything deeper than that, about what motivates him, what he internalized growing up, the impact his childhood abuse had on him, anything to do with Ras or Talia really... A lot of writers fail so badly at making it compelling and instead just make me cringe and want them never to touch the al Ghuls again. And so we end up with two Damians:

Damian Wayne aka the Damian I love: Most easily described as an in-character, well written Damian with a solid backstory. Robin Son of Batman and his Robin run both pull this off pretty well. They don't downplay the horror of his childhood but they don't cross over into cartoonish territory either, and they allow Damian to have complicated thoughts and feelings about what he did and what was done to him. You can see how his abuse shaped him without it being shoved hamfistedly down your throat, and I don't come away thinking "I have to ignore all of this no matter how important it is to his character because logically Ras and/or Talia would not fucking do that". Also he's hilarious and makes me root for him whether he's insulting his enemies or electrocuting Jason or dying for the fifth/sixth time. Like that's my son and I can write a million words on his mentality and how it's changed and his opinions on his parental figures and his character development and how he'd interact with x or y character and-

And the second Damian, aka the Woobie Damian. The one you get where hack writers want to give him a sad backstory to justify how Edgy and Badass and Damaged he is and write the most cartoonishly over the top evil Ras and Talia possible. Most recent example I can think of is Tom King saying Ras locked Damian in a box with no water for a week because he didn't tie his shoelaces right. Or Morrison's Talia murdering her own son. Or how SuperSons wrote Talia. And look, it's not that I won't accept horribly, ridiculously evil villains. My favourite character's dad abused her in more extreme ways than even the worst al Ghul writer could come up with. It's that these are characters with already established personalities and traits. Unless they are being mind controlled they would not act like that and do these things. Just like how Bruce Wayne wouldn't lock Dick in a cave and feed him rats. There are ways you can show the impact of growing up in a cult and raised by an evil grandfather and being told repeatedly that you are destined to lead them all into a better world and trained in the art of killing a man. And these writers fail miserably at pulling any of that off. It's as shallow and boring as "You know why I'm mean to you all the time? Because my family taught me love is a weakness. I said mean things to you and stabbed you but my grandfather used to beat me for showing kindness to animals. Don't you feel sorry for me now?"

It sucks. I hate it. Anything with that Damian in it, I automatically filter out of my personal canon. The only way I can think of making it good is if it's like the "Slice the Baby Saturday" meme, where Damian is just bullshitting to see how much he can get away with and deliberately testing his family with stereotypes. But unfortunately those writers are dead serious about Ras making Damian climb up a whole mountain with no safety gear even if he falls and breaks his arm or dies. Because that is definitely something you would do with your one and only heir. They're literally two minutes away from saying Ras gave Damian a puppy and then told Talia to kill it in front of him.

So basically when I say that I love Damian and he's my favourite male Robin, know that woobie Damian is not a part of this conversation. Real Damian I would kill for. A writer puts woobie Damian in front of me and says his mom stabbed him I say let him bleed out so I won't have to endure comics about him anymore.

[nexus-my-beloved]

Little Destiel thoughts.

I like to think from time to time about how Dean and Cas kissing would go for the first time. I'm sure most people might say that it would be a spur of the moment decision on Dean's part or that he'd be confident or it'd be a rougher kiss or just-this-side of sexual, almost. But I don't think that's right.

Cas has been one of the few constants in Dean's life. A life of people on the road he'd kiss, fuck, never see again or maybe just once or twice— a place to stay at if he got stranded, a face to get off to, maybe, but more often than not it's a phone number that sits in an address book and collects dust, one that gets forgotten along with the person's name and face. A life of family that left, a dead mother and a deadbeat and dead father, a brother he'd argue and fight with that would head off sometimes away from Dean and leave him on his own. A father figure who died when Dean needed him, then the ghost of him he was forced to put to rest. Cas is the main thing in his life, something precious, fragile, and as rude as Dean could be and as hard he could be to be near, he wouldn't want to lose him. He wouldn't want to push Cas away. And because of that, anything he initiated wouldn't be rough or fast to start off.

I think that when they'd kiss for the first time, it'd be soft, gentle, slow and uneasy and careful for the slightest thought of something going wrong. And I think Cas would start it.

Cas watched humans forever, tried to learn how they were and understand how they worked and be like them. He would watch movies and soap operas, and, as random as it was, he'd watch porn, just to understand people. He'd probably read books about people falling in love and try to understand it and he'd look for those emotions in Dean's actions, try to see each example of human things in Dean, would look to see if Dean felt love the way he did. He'd take note of each stare, take note of each smile, look closer at the tape of Led Zeppelin music and realize it as a gift of affection. He'd notice the way Dean might cuddle closer when they'd watch movies on his laptop, would notice the way Dean might make an excuse to have them both under the same blanket, but he wouldn't press when he knew it was something that wasn't necessary.

Cas would recognize his own feelings, would know his emotions but he wouldn't say something until he was sure that Dean felt the same. And once he was sure, he'd make that last step.

A night when they're watching a movie; some random plot that'd been done a million times before but they watched it because it had one of Dean's celebrity crushes in it. Some random point in the movie, someone is having a heartfelt conversation with someone, but Dean stops paying attention when he notices Castiel’s eyes on him rather than the laptop screen. The volume gets turned down, and Dean looks back to Castiel, opening his mouth in a question before he's cut off by his own conscience.

"What's up, Cas?" Dean asks around the sudden dryness in his throat, and Castiel wants to soothe every ounce of anxiety that Dean is feeling, able to hear it in his voice.

Dean wouldn't be the one to lean in. Cas would. Cas would be the one to move forward, to cup Dean's face in his hand like he'd seen in so many movies and read on so many pages. Cas would be the one to hold Dean like he was made of glass, to move forward until he could feel Dean's breath on his lips and pause for a moment to ensure it was alright. Cas would be the one to wait for Dean's hands to rest on his chest or on his lap over the blanket, to wait until Dean's eyes fell closed. He would wait until then before he leaned in the rest of the way, kissing Dean so gentle it might almost have been a dream, feather-light and careful. He would be the one to allow Dean the tenderness he deserved for the first time in his life, and would be the one to brush his thumb across Dean's cheek and not mind the stubble that was there.

When they'd pull away, Cas would be the first one to say it with no expectations for a response, without any future ridicule of it being hard to reciprocate with the life they lived, to allow the words to so easily tumble from his lips in a whispered confession: "I love you."

Dean would stumble over his words and stutter, trying to respond, and Cas would press the tip of his thumb to Dean's lower lip and shake his head softly. "You don't have to say it back. I know," Cas would promise, knowing the truth and knowing how hard it was for Dean to say those words.

Cas would be the one to treat Dean so gently, the one to initiate it, and while Dean might ask the first official date or something, Cas was the one to start it all. I know all of you might think Dean would start it, with his history and all, but I think Cas would.

[quirkless-accident]

Runaway/ homeless Danny saves Eri (with or without his sisters)

Danny could only go near to her only in ghost mode

(cant bring the dead back to life but she may revert him to before he got his accident)

Danny honestly doesn't know how he ends up here.

He's been on the run from months. The Guys in White are relentless. As soon as they found about him, kicking the door down with way to much force, he went along with them to keep his family safe.

The look in his mother's eyes still haunts him. Her cries, her grip being broken by agents in white, as she's separated from her baby boy. It hurt both of them.

After a couple of new guards had been assigned to him, it wasn't hard to get out. Well, it was because he was held together with nothing but hasty stitches and luck, but overall, it wasn't the worst experience he's ever had.

And now they're after him.

He escaped nearly four months ago. He managed to get the inhibitor collar off, and therefore is fully healed, at least physically. He's spent all of his time running from one end of the country to another, trying the skies and the roads and even the seas. The only place where they can't follow, he's found, is the ground.

He usually hides out in small pockets that are just big enough for his lean frame, or the sewer system, but that's more open so he tries to avoid it. He travels with his flight and intangibility, and if he's in the sewers he uses his invisibility as well. It makes covering ground-literally-a hell of a lot easier.

Or, at least it was supposed to.

He's lucky he's invisible when he flies into this new place he's found himself in. It's not a sewer or compacted earth. It's an underground base, with tall ceilings and narrow halls, and if the purple bird guy is anything to go off of, it's also run by bad guys.

His metaphorical kryptonite, if you will.

Bad guys mean danger, and danger means he has to protect, but before he can do any of that he needs to figure out what the fuck they're even planning.

He follows the bird guy. He's quite prideful, and he talks about his plans openly to his direct underlings.

"The test was a success against Suneater," bird guy, Chisaki, is telling someone. "However, it seems as though the effects were only temporary. If we want to make any kind of change, we need to adjust the formula to make the quirklessness permanent."

"Do you want me to receive the girl for you?" Chisaki's assistant asks.

"No, her body is too exhausted to do anything. I'll have to continue my tests tomorrow. But do get her something to eat."

Danny's core hums in discontent. He's only gotten a few pieces of the puzzle, but he can't put them together quite yet. If there's a girl here that they're using for this permanent quirkless bullshit, he needs to find her.

He follows the assistant to the kitchen where he picks up a plate of something pretending to be food, and then to a large, locked door. Inside is dark, with nothing but a large bed, a million unopened toys, and a small, small girl, trembling in fear as the assistant comes in. She can't be older than five or six, and her arms and legs are covered in bandages.

I'll have to continue my tests tomorrow, Chisaki had said.

Danny understands what kind of tests they are.

The flash of metal. The burning just beneath his skin. The feeling of his skin being pried apart, and the way the tools poked and prodded at his muscles, his tendons, his core. He'll never forget the tink tink tink sound that Agent O's tweezers made as he poked Danny's core. The painful sensations going down his spine, so painful he couldn't even scream.

The door closing brings his attention back to the present. Right. Girl. Tests. Quirklessness. He has to get her out of here and get her somewhere safe.

He pokes his head back outside, and once he's sure nobody is coming back in, he pulls the rest of himself back in and takes a deep breath.

"Hi there," he whispers. The girl's head shoots up from the slop that was given to her, eyes wide and terrified. Danny drops his invisibility, and she scoots away from him.

"Hey, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just-I'm...A hero? I'm gonna get you out of here."

"You can't," the girl tells him. "No way out. Or they'll-they'll hurt the nice hero..."

"I promise I'll make sure the nice hero is safe, too. What's your name?"

"I'm...I'm Eri..."

"Eri. Such a pretty name. My name is Danny. And, look. I don't-I know what they're doing to you is wrong and scary. And I get it. Tests have been run on me, too."

"Really?" Eri asks, voice full of childlike innocence as well as the world weariness he's only ever heard from adults.

Danny doesn't want to freak her out, so he pulls his sleeve up to his elbow and shows her the bright pink surgical scar running from wrist to elbow instead of the autopsy scar on his chest. She puts her hands out, and gently touches the raised skin, before looking up at Danny with something that looks like hope.

Danny gently pulls away and pulls his sleeve back down.

"I can get us out. But if I'm gonna do that, I need you to be very, very quiet, okay? Can you do that for me?"

Eri nods, and with her permission, Danny gently scoops her up. He pressed a long finger to his lips, and she mirrors him as she nods her head.

"Okay, this is going to be a little cold, okay? Now, shut your eyes, and hold on tight."

Eri shuts her eyes and hugs Danny's neck, burring her face in his shoulder. He slowly, as to not startle her, turns them invisible and intangible before lifting them up through the ceiling, through the dirt, and into the fresh air. When he's high enough he looks down and makes a mental note of where they are before flying away.

"Okay, you can look now," Danny says when they're far enough away. Her face moves, and he hears a small gasp. He drops the intangibility as well, letting the warm night air flow through her hair. And though she's not smiling or laughing, she does relax more in his arms.

It's the middle of the night, so they probably won't notice her gone until the morning. He thought about taking her to the police, but he also just doesn't rust them. Not after they ignored complaint after complaint about the abuse he went through when he was quirkless. And he's not going to touch the Hero Commission as long as he lives.

But he does know one safe place. He had applied, but because of reasons he never had a chance to actually take the test to get in. It's full of heroes and hero students, and if anybody is going to take care of this girl it would be them.

It takes a little while to figure out exactly where he is, but when he does he's quick to change his course and head to the only safe place he knows.

U.A. High School.

When they get there the sun is just peaking over the horizon. He doesn't want to waste time or energy with whatever security system they've got going on, so he turns them both intangible once more. he flies over the gates, and through the halls of the school before he eventually finds what has to be the principal's office.

When they arrive, said principle's head shoots up. He sniffs the air a couple of times before offering Danny a sharp toothed grin.

"If you're going to sneak in here you're going to have to try a lot harder than that," Nezu says, eyes the general area of where Danny is.

"Sorry, sir," Danny says as he drops his invisibility and intangibility. "I wasn't trying to sneak. Well, I was but not-anyway, never mind. This is Eri," he says, bouncing the sleeping girl on his hip. "I found her waiting to be experimented on by the Yakuza."

The explanation takes a while. Danny is protective and hasn't let go of Eri, but Nezu doesn't seem to mind that at all. At one point another hero joins them, and then two hero students who are interning under the guy who's spearheading the operation against Chisaki and the quirkless bullets he's been trying to make.

"This is all well and good, and we're thankful that you've rescued her," the older, dark haired hero says. "But what exactly were you doing there anyway?"

"I was just looking for a place to crash when I came upon them."

"In their underground base," the hero bluntly states, face emotionless except for the single, raised eyebrow. "Why not crash at home?"

"It's not safe. Not for me, anyway. I've been running from the Guys in White for months, and that's the first place they'd think to look for me."

The organization doesn't ring a bell for this new hero, but the principal sits up a little straighter. The hair on his back rises, and the smile he had been sporting is gone completely.

It opens up another line of questioning from the principal, who apparently has some personal beef with the organization. At some point Danny tentatively gets up to show him the surgical scars they've given him, as well as the autopsy scar on his torso. The hero students are sent out before that, though.

Danny sits back down, careful not to jostle Eri too much, but she ends up waking up anyway.

She doesn't recognize him. At least, not at first. But the panic takes over before her brain can stop her, and her quirk activates. Her horn is glowing, and Danny is trying to calm her down. It's affecting him. He can feel his body changing, but he ignores it in his attempt to get Eri to calm down.

And then, after what could only be a few seconds, it stops abruptly. Eri falls forward, exhausted from her quirk, and crawls back into Danny's lap before falling asleep again. When Danny looks back up, he's met with the glowing red eyes of the older hero. And, well, it doesn't take much more than that for a fanboy like Danny to figure out who he is.

"What was that?" Eraserhead asks.

"I have no idea," Danny answers. "This is the first time I've seen her use it. I feel...Better though. Not brand new, but not as tired as I've been lately."

"I have a theory," Nezu says, clapping his hands to get Danny's attention. "Danny, if you would please show us your chest scar once more?"

Danny once again gently puts Eri down on the couch before standing up and lifting his shirt.

"How fascinating," Nezu says. Danny quirks a brow, before looking down himself.

He's still got all of his ghost hunting scars. The burn from Skulker and the stab wounds from Technus, but the newest addition to his chest is gone. No more autopsy scar, as if it had never happened. Danny checks his arm, a little sad to see that that surgical scar is still there, but relieved altogether to find that he doesn't have to be reminded of what happened to him every time he looks in the mirror.

He pats his face, too. It feels less angular than it had been a few minutes ago. He hasn't been able to eat properly since being on the run, and he was only fed granola bars while under the custody of the GiW. But this, this saves him months of physical recovery. He's almost back to a healthy weight.

"It appears to not be a quirkless quirk, necessarily," Nezu says, "but some sort of rewind quirk. How interesting." Nezu turns to Eraserhead. "I'll contact Sir Nighteye. Please escort these two to Recovery Girl and have Lunch Rush make them something warm and hearty."

For the first time in months, as Eraserhead leads them both down the labyrinth of U.A., Danny allows himself to relax.

He knows, somewhere deep down that as long as he's under their care, he and Eri will be okay.

[superman86to99]

Action Comics #700 (June 1994)

"THE BATTLE FALL OF METROPOLIS"! Metropolis falls, quite literally! But, on the bright side, so does Lex Luthor, because Lois Lane finally busts his ass after 700 issues (give or take).

This super-sized anniversary issue starts with Lois recapping all the dirt she's dug up on "Lex Luthor Jr." during the past several months, including the fact that he's actually the original, supposedly dead Lex Luthor in a clone body. Lex tried to have Lois discredited by planting wacky headlines with her byline at the Daily Planet's computers and framing her for financial crimes (on top of blowing up her apartment), but now she finally has hard evidence of his crimes thanks to her informant at LexCorp, only known as "Deep Quote." (Is this the first reference to Linda Lovelace's oeuvre in a Superman story? Comics and/or porno historians, sound off in the comments.)

Despite having been fired from the Planet (see: "wacky headlines" above), Lois manages to present her evidence in front of Commissioner Henderson, Perry White, and Planet owner Franklin Stern... who still thinks this cloning business sounds like "science fiction." That's a weird thing to say when you live in the DC Universe. Hell, there's a whole government agency devoted to cloning just outside Metropolis! Or maybe I should say there was, because, right when Stern is about to apologize to Lois, everyone hears a massive explosion coming from Project Cadmus' direction -- as seen last issue, some of Lex's armored henchmen just dropped a goddamn mountain on Cadmus while fighting Superman and Superboy.

Superboy, who was all laughs last issue but seems to be taking his friends' apparent deaths much harder now, wants to look for survivors, but Superman again tells him there's no point, because "there's no one alive in Cadmus that needs our help anymore." Instead, they go look for the Lex-Men who caused this whole mess so they can bring them to justice. They're soon joined by Supergirl, who takes every opportunity she can get to destroy LexCorp property since breaking up with Lex himself in her recent miniseries (and that was before she found out he's actually a creepy old guy in a young body).

Meanwhile, Lex (whose clone body is rapidly deteriorating) is hiding in his yacht with his most faithful cronies, his scientific aide Dr. Sydney Happersen and his long-time physician Dr. Gretchen Kelley, the same woman who pretended to be his "mother" for the Lex Jr. ruse. Since Lex is gonna be here for a while, Dr. Kelley volunteers to go to the city and pick up some meds for him. Lex thinks that's a great idea... until he sees Kelley on TV, spilling the beans on his whole operation to Lois. That's right, Kelley was "Deep Quote" all along! Which was pretty obvious if you've been paying attention, but then again Lex has a long history of rejecting the obvious.

Kelley also spilled the beans on Lex's location to Superman, who suddenly bursts into the yacht to nab him once and for all. But Lex has an ace that he's been hiding up his sleeve for a long-ass time: a slew of "sonic torpedoes" reverse engineered from tech left behind by the alien invaders from DC's 1988 Invasion! crossover, which he hid somewhere under Metropolis in case he ever felt like pulverizing the city. Lex, who thinks he'll die any moment, seems perfectly willing to take millions with him -- until Superman asks him if he really wants the people of Metropolis, "his" city, to remember him as the guy who blew the whole place up. The "American Hitler," as Superman puts it.

Lex, who got into this whole mess in the first place because he wanted people to love him more than Superman, breaks down and agrees not to launch the torpedoes.

And then, for the first time in his life... Dr. Happersen disobeys Lex Luthor's wishes. Too bad those wishes were "let's not destroy a city."

After years of quietly taking abuse from Lex, Happersen finally snaps and launches those torpedoes. Lex tries to stop him by shooting at him with the death laser in his iron lung (of course Lex Luthor has a death laser in his iron lung), but it's too late. The torpedoes are activated, meaning that the city is as cooked as Happersen himself, who dies in Superman's arms seconds later.

Superman asks Luthor where the torpedoes are buried, but Lex, who looks genuinely distraught, honestly doesn't know. He always let Happersen handle little details like that.

Before Superman can even reach Metropolis, one of the torpedoes has already hit the WGBS building. He gets there right in time to race against the torpedo headed for the Daily Planet... but, as you might have guessed from this issue's cover, the torpedo wins the race.

If the city hadn't been evacuated a few issues ago due to the Underworlders' terrorist attacks, everyone in the Planet's staff would be dead now (thanks, ugly sewer mutant terrorists!). Superman does manage to prevent Lois, Ron Troupe, and, unfortunately, Jimmy Olsen from getting rolled over by the Planet's iconic globe after the building collapses, but only by destroying what's left of it. Perry White is following the action from the Planet's temp offices outside the city, and he looks about as emotionally devastated as he did in the issue when his son died.

Meanwhile, the other underground torpedoes are doing their best to turn Metropolis' skyline into a flat line. The only major building spared is the one belonging to Clark Kent's old employer, Newstime Magazine, but only because its owner happens to be a demonic entity with torpedo-deflecting powers, Lord Satanus. To his credit, Satanus does plant an idea in Superman's mind for how to stop the rest of the torpedoes: digging a big ditch all across Metropolis to intercept them (thanks, demonic entity posing as media magnate!).

As Superman, Superboy, and Supergirl stop most of the torpedoes, Satanus helps them out by redirecting the remaining ones to a more deserving target: LexCorp's giant L-shaped building, which is now shaped like a bunch of rubble.

With the torpedo problem solved, Luthor is finally arrested and exposed to the citizens of Metropolis as a no-goodnik, as Superman begins the long task of rebuilding the city by putting the Daily Planet globe back together. Yes, Metropolis is in pretty bad shape, and even Superman himself seems discouraged for a moment, but as Lois correctly points out: hey, at least it ain't Coast City!

Creator-Watch:

This issue marks the end of Roger Stern's distinguished run as Action Comics writer, which began exactly 100 issues ago... sort of, since he started writing Action when it was a weekly series and Superman only got two pages per issue. When John Byrne suddenly left the Superman books some months after that, in late 1988, Stern was an obvious choice to replace him, given his closeness to Byrne, his ample talents, and, well, the fact that he was already there.

Since then, Stern became one of the main architects of the over-arching storyline that made this era in Superman comics so special. His role as the Super-Squad's resident "continuity cop" enriched these comics tremendously. For instance, according to Dan Jurgens, it was Stern's idea to bring back an obscure character called Hank Henshaw as the Cyborg Superman instead of creating a new baddie for "Reign of the Supermen," which is the sort of thing that makes digging through hundreds of backissues worth it. Stern also wrote the bulk of the years-long Eradicator saga, Supergirl's evolution from lump of goo to proper hero, and, of course, Lex Luthor's long, strange journey leading to this issue (more on that later).

It's hard to imagine our beloved '86-'99 period without Roger Stern. Good thing he'll be back before too long, albeit in a reduced capacity...

Character-Watch:

With this issue, we a bid adieu to doctors Sydney Happersen and Gretchen Kelley, two of the most memorable characters ever to serve as Luthor's lackeys. Both were introduced in Byrne's Superman #2 (1987), and it's interesting that both were instantly portrayed as somewhat sympathetic: Happersen doesn't want to remove the kryptonite from Metallo's chest because he thinks it'd kill him (and looks shocked when Luthor pulls it out anyway), and Kelley is the one that warns Lex about Lana Lang's bizarre allergy to truth serum.

(Probably didn't help that they had a serious mold problem in that room.)

It's also interesting that Kelley was the only lackey on a first-name basis with Lex, hinting at the backstory that was revealed in Action #660: she was a small-town doctor until a young Lex swept her off her feet and turned her into his lover, only to ditch her for someone with larger boobs. Kelley became an alcoholic and ended up in jail, ruining her medical career, until Lex came to "reclaim" her and gave her a permanent job. I'm guessing the "old lovers" bit was added mainly to make the Lex Jr. story seem plausible, but it also helps explain why someone like her would stick with Lex for so long. She was clearly still in love with him, and the Lex Jr. ruse allowed her to imagine an alternate life where they were more than just employer and employee. I always like this bit from Action #676, before readers found out Lex Jr. was Lex Sr.:

In the Lex Jr. storyline, Kelley wasn't just lying to the world; she was lying to herself. Until she just couldn't lie anymore, I guess.

As for Happersen, he never had a backstory, but he didn't really need one. He was the prototypical meek henchman who'd do anything for his boss despite being treated like trash, which is why I found his breakdown at the end both logical and satisfying. Kelley and Happersen will each get a couple of flashback appearances after this issue, but they've been completely ignored by every revamp and reboot since. As much as I like them, I'm completely okay with that because their stories are over, and that's such a rare thing in comics.

Plotline-Watch:

The big subplot in this issue is Lana Lang's wedding to Pete Ross, which she said she wanted to hold "as soon as possible" after encountering Bizarro (and confirming that she's absolutely over Clark) in Action #697. Lois, Clark, and Supergirl are a bit busy to attend, but Ma and Pa Kent are there and even lend Lana their farmhouse for the ceremony. Other than Pa watching the chaos in Metropolis on TV, these scenes are completely disconnected from the rest of the issue, and I suspect they're only here for two reasons: 1) to tease readers with "Someone's getting married!" in the preview blurbs (remember that Lois and Clark had been engaged for a few years by now), and 2) to give Superman legends Curt Swan and Murphy Anderson some work. That last part makes the scenes worth it, in my opinion, especially since we even get a peek at how Swan would draw the Super-Mullet when Lana is thinking back on everything she's gone through with Clark.

The "we've had buildings dropped on us" scene Lana remembers is from Action #644, and the one who dropped the building was actually Supergirl/Matrix when she was suffering from Eradicator-triggered insanity. The "I've been kidnapped" issue, meanwhile, is Byrne's classic Superman #2, which leads us to...

Intentionally or not, there's a good numbers of parallels between this issue and the aforementioned Superman #2: Lana's most tragic moment and Lana's happiest moment; Happersen and Kelley's introduction and their exit; Superman angrily bursting into Lex's office and triumphantly bursting into his yacht; Lex getting away with it and Lex getting arrested. But the most significant connection is the fact that Superman #2 was the first time Lex put on his kryptonite ring, which is what sets off the long chain of events leading to this issue: him getting cancer (Action #600), faking his own death (Action #660), moving his brain to a younger body (revealed in Action #678), being infected with a clone-only disease (circa Man of Steel #31), and ending up as a sick, raving lunatic in an iron lung outfitted with death lasers.

What's definitely intentional, knowing Stern, is the fact that Lex's last stand happens in the Sea Queen, the same luxury yacht where he first met Superman (The Man of Steel #4). Both issues end with Lex getting arrested, but presumably he'll be behind bars for longer than two hours this time -- or maybe not, since the last time we see Luthor, he's thinking that "there are cards I've yet to play!" We'll find out what he means in Action #701.

While Lois is presenting her evidence against Lex, we learn that she first came into contact with Dr. Kelley/"Deep Quote" at the end of the "Bizarro's World" storyline, right after she learned of Lex Jr.'s sickness/shocking baldness (Superman #88). Unsurprisingly, Lex didn't like Lois seeing him like that and ordered Happersen to capture her, but Kelley helped her escape and they hit it off.

When exactly did Kelley decide to turn on Lex? A flashback suggests that it happened during the Supergirl miniseries, where she has an uncharacteristic outburst towards Lex for the way he "uses" Supergirl even though she loves him. We didn't even comment on that scene at the time, but now it seems pretty obvious that, even though Kelley does care for Supergirl, she was actually talking about herself.

Deep cut: at one point, Superman tries to find Lex by taking a Lex-Man's helmet to Professor Hamilton, who says that he recognizes this technology from the armor Lex once trapped poor Jose "Gangbuster" Delgado in, forcing him to act as a remote-controlled bodyguard (Adventures #451). Hamilton's efforts go nowhere, but I appreciate being reminded of Jose's most delightfully bizarre misadventure ever. Miss that dude and his horrible luck.

I also appreciate the shout out to Invasion!, and I wonder if Stern was planning Lex's sonic torpedo gambit from way back in Superman #28, which includes a scene in which Pentagon officials give Lex access to the alien weapons recovered in Australia. I also wonder if Lex thought to himself, "Hmmm, Australia... seems like a nice place to pretend to be from if I ever clone myself a new body."

Something that doesn't pay off is the implication that Colin Thornton/Lord Satanus would become a major villain now that Luthor is (temporarily) out of the picture. He'll pop up here and there, but something tells me that if Stern had stayed on Action, he would have made sure Satanus factored more heavily in big storylines going forward (or even just one big storyline).

Patreon-Watch:

This post ended up being double-sized like the issue itself, so this time we owe double-thanks to our patrons Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Gaetano Barreca, for helping us take the time to write it. Double-thanks! Join them at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99

And believe it or not, we have even more to say about this issue, so don't miss Don Sparrow's section after the jump...

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We begin with the cover, and it’s something of a strange one for such a huge numbered issue.  Jackson Guice rightly recognizes that the destruction of the Daily Planet is the most arresting image within the story, so that’s what he highlights, Raiders of the Lost Ark-style, but it’s a bit hard to know what to focus on here.  It’s not the best figure drawing of Lois Lane, with her hands in a claw like shape, but she’s still front and centre.  The other possible area of focus is on the Daily Planet globe itself, which then boasts an uncomfortably spread-eagle Superman trying to stop its roll.  But, I give points to Guice for going with a moment from within the story, and not just a generic “this is an anniversary issue” type cover, like we often see. Plus the cross streets of Jurgens/Grummett/Bog/Kitson on the street sign is a fun find.

Inside, we’re greeted immediately with a full splash of a satisfied Lois.  Guice’s Lois has always looked photo-referenced to me, for better or worse.  In this case, I think Guice is a little let down by the colourist, who extends the pinkness of Lois’ bottom lip all the way to the corner of her mouth which turns her smile into more of a smirk than I think the inks on their own intend.

On page 6 we get another version of Guice’s rubble pits—not a strength for him as much as someone like Tom Grummett, who was born to draw rubble (And everything else!) as the edges of the pit always look a little sharp to me.   

Superboy’s rage at the destruction of Cadmus is well-observed—and Superboy looks very much like the youth he is—he can sometimes be drawn like a small adult, instead of having softer, teenaged features, but Guice does a good job on this page. Supergirl’s coy expression as she lets the libidinous Superboy down gently on page 14 is a funny drawing, and a great character moment in all the action, to boot.

It may just be novelty, or nostalgia, but the quieter moments back in Smallville, as Lana Lang prepares for her wedding ceremony, are my favorite pages.  Curt Swan’s gentle, naturalistic lines are a nice counterpoint to the hectic pace of the fall of Metropolis.   

The entire page of Lois revealing Lex Junior’s crimes to a live television audience is all well drawn—there’s an urgency in Lois’ posture to the camera that feels very real as you read it.  This, followed up shortly by Lex’s horror at Dr. Kelley’s betrayal is another great piece of drawing.  Then, on the very next page, Superman Kool-Aid-Man-ing his way through Lex’s hideaway is maybe the best single image of Superman in the book. 

There’s a cute tribute to former Super-teamster, Jerry Ordway, as Peggy (who shares her first name with Jerry Ordway’s real life wife) plays De Koven and Scott’s “Oh Promise Me” not on a Steinway piano, as she might have on our Earth, but rather a “Jordway” piano.  If the lyrics we see sound familiar, it could be because this same wedding song appeared in numerous film and TV weddings, including All in the Family, Mama’s Family and, for you Canadian readers, the Sullivan-produced Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel, during Diana’s wedding.  I do wonder if Revered Brewster was supposed to look like Ordway—his hairstyle is similar, though Brewster is a little heavier set than Ordway.

Back to the “action” of Action #700, pages 33-35 all make great use of a diagonal panel layout, to maximize the space as Superman gives chase to the missiles, which unfortunately find their target, the Daily Planet.  Perry White’s shattered expression as he watches the place he loves fall apart is particularly haunting. 

The effect of Collin Thornton’s demonic helmet overlaid his human form is a great visual.  Lastly, for those of us old enough to remember the attacks of 9-11, there’s an eerie prescience to these images of tangled debris and smoking skylines.

On the whole, the events here—Luthor going full villain, Metropolis being reduced to rubble—seem fitting in scale for a nice big round issue number like 700.  But, given how relatively quickly these changes are undone in the issues to come, it also feels symbolic of the post-Death-and-Return era of comics—just trying status-quo changing “events” and trying to recapture the buzz they stumbled into with the death storyline.          

SPEEDING BULLETS:

There’s a funny in-joke during Lois’ phone call with Superman, as editor Mike Carlin slips in a warning to Tom Grummett about an issue being late.  Though Grummett is not normally known for lateness, at this time he is drawing both Superboy and Robin comics monthly, so he can be forgiven for the odd slip.

Jonathan Kent railing at the television in response to Lex’s seeming impunity feels completely modern to me, reading it in 2024.  Honestly, couldn’t you see certain political factions of today defending Lex’s actions, had they been perpetrated by the de facto leader of their party?

How do we feel about Lex not being quite villainous enough to blow up Metropolis?  Does it feel like a cop-out, or would it have put Lex into a level of villainy the writers didn’t want to go to?  Story-wise, I have to admit, it feels strange that the disasters seen on the cover and throughout bear the fingerprints of Sidney Happersen, and not Lex Luthor, the greatest criminal mind of our age. [Max: I like it! Lex is evil, but he does seem to love Metropolis in his way, and he wouldn't spend so much time on philanthropic ventures if he didn't need people's adoration on some level. I think this is an interesting conundrum Stern put him in, and having Happersen do what Lex couldn't is a clever way to make sure the issue didn't end in a big anti-climax.]

GODWATCH: As with many a Roger Stern script, religious references abound in this issue, particularly during the wedding scenes, where the newlywedded Lana and Pete certainly seem devout. The unabashed love the Kents show for Lana is very moving throughout. [Max: There's also Lex saying "God forgive me" when he admits he doesn't know how to stop the torpedoes, which is a scene that's always stuck with me. THAT'S his real punishment: not jail, but actually experiencing guilt for a moment.]

As this entire issue is a study in contrasts, we jump from a country church wedding to a demonic character named LORD SATANUS giving Superman the firebreak idea that saves the city!  There’s something very funny about that.

Does Collin Thornton know that Clark Kent is Superman?  It doesn't seem like he does, but with his array of observational powers, you’d think he’d have figured it out. [Max: I'm sure there's something somewhere that contradicts it, but I like the idea of Thornton offering Clark that editor job years ago because he knew his conscience had been compromised by the Eradicator and he wanted a superpowered pawn to use against Blaze.]

Do you agree with Supergirl, that Dr. Kelley is someone to be admired, or given mercy?  Sure, she helped bring down Lex in his latest evil, but she went along with so much, for so long, she’s hardly heroic, is she? [Max: I assume that by "I hope the courts are merciful," Supergirl means "I hope they give her prison library access and not the electric chair." I do feel sorry for Kelley, but she definitely deserves to go to jail for a long time for all those other horrible crimes she didn't prevent, starting with Lana's torture.]

[random-thought-depository]

Tangential vagueblogging (about somebody I generally respect, and I don't want to add to the pile-on they're getting), but I'm going to note that I really don't like when people present "predators control the population of prey species and kill off their sickest and weakest individuals" as if this is some kind of favor to the prey species, a merciful euthanasia of beings that are literally better off dead.

It's impossible to know how deer feel about the merits of slowly starving to death vs. being ripped up by wolves, but we can look at human emotions and behavior in comparable situations.

"Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it." - Mary Shelley, Frankenstein.

I think humans show a strong revealed preference along those lines. Suicide seems to be a minority choice even in the most miserable conditions in the historical record. Take, for instance, slavery in North America circa 1500-1850 or so; pretty awful. Some slaves did commit suicide. But most of them did not. This is just one many examples in the historical record of humans enduring appalling conditions and apparently mostly not choosing suicide (Irish potato famine, Nazi death camps, gulags, classical era Greco-Roman slavery, etc.). This is actually kind of remarkable if you stop taking it for granted. Of course, it makes perfect sense if you think about it in terms of evolutionary theory; for a species intelligent enough to imagine suicide, choosing to live is a selection pressure, potentially a quite powerful one. We're all descended from the people who chose survival, because those who chose death left no descendants. For a species intelligent enough for long-term planning and suicide, an attitude of "my life, though it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it" is an adaptive trait, and it is no surprise that it seems to have approached fixation before the beginning of recorded history.

The predators alive now mostly do not attack humans because they follow mother's wisdom. The conservatism inherent in the mother's wisdom strategy may keep humans safe for a while, but big predators in most of the world have had tens of thousands to millions of years to eat a human (or proto-human), discover we are quite edible, and add us to the mother's wisdom food list that they transmit to their offspring. Why hasn't this happened? Well, what happens to a predator that kills and eats a human? Other humans follow the people-eater back to its den and kill it! The only predators that survived were the ones that did not habitually eat humans, either as a matter of blind luck or because they were smart enough to learn that we're more dangerous than we look. I suspect the saber-tooth cat, the marsupial lion, etc. are not around anymore because they were unable to make this adjustment. Point is, it sure looks like when humans got smart one of the first things they did was give themselves the same circumstances as deer that have no predators to control their numbers!

You'll often find references to early agriculture actually being a step down from hunting and gathering; primitive farmers are not well-nourished, have a lot of diseases, etc.. To me, preindustrial agricultural humans look a lot like those overpopulated deer; there aren't any predators left to control their numbers (a circumstance they arranged for themselves!), so now what caps their population is malnutrition and infectious disease (and the synergy between the two; malnourished animals and humans get sick and die more easily), so they mostly live on the edge of starvation, so they're hungry and sickly and riddled with diseases (and they are a great burden upon the wider ecology). Being an ancient or Medieval peasant sounds miserable in a similar way to how being a deer in an overpopulated park or a city pigeon sounds miserable. And yet, I think most people would agree that ancient Mesopotamia or Medieval Europe would not be improved by adding Blindsight vampires with the crucifix glitch fixed, even if the survivors the vampires don't eat might have better diets and fewer parasites as a result (because the vampires would kill a lot of the people they'd otherwise have to share their food and other resources with).

It's also pretty suggestive that an often repeated theme of human stories is "what if there was something that related to you in the way a wolf relates to a deer?" and the intended and default reaction to that idea is horror. From dragons, vampires, and Grendel to the "xenomorph" from Alien, the human imagination is persistently haunted by the fear that something may target us for predation; even the ostensibly human killers of e.g. slasher horror are in a sense just another kind of predator. Predation is also a favorite metaphor for human exploitation and abuse of other humans; we speak of rapacious rich people and manipulative abusers as "predatory" even though, of course, they (usually) don't literally eat us.

Humans were a prey species once and, gee, it sure looks like we hated it, like it was a trauma that still haunts us hundreds of thousands years later (probably burned into our genes; predator avoidance would have been a selection pressure), and like as soon as we got smart enough one of the first things we did was to give ourselves the circumstances of those overpopulated deer, choosing chronic food insecurity and high disease load as the lesser evil.

How would you feel about your grandma and your disabled son being dragged away and devoured by wolves? How would you feel about somebody who suggested that such predation was a sort of favor to your species?

How would you feel if you were hungry and sick and in pain and had a broken and infected leg and the wolves came for you? I think I would say, "my life, though it may be only an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it!"

Like, my first articulated objection to "predators are actually good for prey species" thinking is "imagine how ghoulish it would be if somebody applied the same logic to humans!"

I'm not an expert on animal behavior, but it seems to me that the behavior of most animals suggests a similar revealed preference. When the wolves come for an injured deer, I would guess the deer will likely try to hobble away. The city pigeons that occasionally walk by my window are likely malnourished and riddled with parasites and some of them have pretty gruesome foot injuries (I remember reading a post about this once), but they continue to go about the business of survival and even reproduction (I occasionally see them doing what I think are courtship behaviors).

And sure, that's dubious reasoning from analogy. Notably, humans are probably pretty unusual in being intelligent enough to imagine suicide (and also having hands and being smart enough to make weapons, which makes suicide much easier), and therefore present humans are probably the product of a very unusually strong selection pressure for wanting to live. Probably most animals lack the cognitive capacity for suicide, even the passive suicide of suicide by starvation or suicide by predator. I wonder if the point where humans became intelligent enough to imagine suicide is marked by a genetic bottleneck... Deer likely don't have the cognitive capacity to imagine their own death, and if they did they might be more at peace with the idea than we are, because they've experienced no selection pressure for conscious avoidance of death qua death; the injured deer likely tries to hobble away from the wolves because of some combination of pre-programmed reflexive instinct and fear of the pain of the bite, or something like that. If you magically gave a deer human intelligence, it might be much more at peace with the reality of its eventual death than we are.

I guess my truest objection to "the wolves are really good for the deer" thinking is that it feels like another manifestation of Just World thinking and therefore deeply conservative - not in the sense of conventional political conservatism, but I think it's a manifestation of a sort of thinking that's one of the wellsprings of political conservatism; I talked about it here. @aksemmi, I'm wondering if maybe you meant something like that.

[transingthoseformers]

Oh yeah. I'd say the transformers baring the beastformers ie Maxamals, Predacons and Ravage their food web is N/A. In a world like TFP they're basically all n/a except for Predaking and he drinks cubes. I'm leaning TFP since i know it best.

Orcas, Dolphins, and fricken octapi would definitely terrorize any Cons in the water. As would the larger sharks.

And humans being omniverous we could get energon from cyber plants, other cyber animals and just cronch the crystals raw as well as drinking cubes of refined energon. There's evidence even as far back as two million years ago our ancestors were hunting megafauna to extinction. And being turned into robots to serve Deceptacon overlords? People would be Pissed. Homo Sapiens techni would be a terror to the Deceptacons as would most megafauna. Scraplets with a vendetta that wouldn't eat you alive just chase you untill you colapsed untill you were too tired to run anymore.

Can you imagine a herd of bison or moose? They will ef up a mofo, and his vehicle. The poor vehicons wouldn't stand a chance agains cyber-ungulants.

Tarantulas where ever he is would be over the moon though. Here you have mechanical organisms retained their organic body plans. And now their easier to fix! Surgons being able to remove and replace wonky organs more easily. Even in the Pit, he'd be swooning with joy. Shockwave would also find this intriguing.

This isn't even getting into the whole Unicron at the center of the earth thing. Would that make us resistant to Dark Energon or more susceptible to it?

Do you think Homo Sapiens techni would be able to transform? Cause in the cosmology Primus is a benevolent diety. Would he adopt the Bastard Children Unicron abandoned? Especially if Optimus did something with the matrix to intervene?

Yeppp, so they absolutely are not prepared for this :)

Goddamnnnnn technoorganic cephalopods would be terrifying, and honestly giving them longer lifespans as a treat WILL probably mean they get to learn more— not necessarily more intelligent, sure, but they'll get more time to apply it. This Will Have Consequences

Also consider: cyberformed dogs. And I don't mean the little yappy fuckers, I mean large hunting dogs and sheep dogs. Imagine how fucking cool they would be, and they too are persistence hunters.

Nopeeeee, ohh. Oh they are in for such a time. Moose are so much bigger than you would anticipate, and I feel like cyberforming would make a lot of these larger herbivores even more bold.

Also bears, don't forget bears.

Tara would be! I've been thinking a lot about Tara but in tfp, and I imagine his little technoorganic spark would be in love with this place regardless of which characterization we're rolling with here. Hell, in this situation, I can see him turning against the cons if we're rolling with a more beast wars style. After all in BW didn't he try to overthrow Megs?? If we're going for Earthspark Tara I feel like he's liable to just fuck off into the CyberEarth woods to study it all. Shockwave's gonna be stealing ideas from Mother Nature: enhanced addition

ooo ohhh adding dark energon into this shit will be interesting as fuck, because we KNOW that shit interacts in interesting ways with energon and if it interacts with the technoorganics... It wouldn't be a surprise if some of the CyberEarth animals that die don't stay dead. zOMBIE SHIT Y'ALL

Adding transforming into this gives us so many more fun things

Not even just including your typical humanoid to vehicle or animal, but being able to transform different weaponry— technoorganic humans and animals alike. Can you imagine if a wolf could have a form more optimized for damage and one more optimized for speed? New opportunities for amphibious lifestyles?? Taking retractable claws and fangs to a whole new level?? I'm staring at a Curious Archives video on "The Future Is Wild" so I might be in the same spec bio heaven mode as Tara is. It would be so goddamn fun if Primus did intervene for the sake of his brother's wronged children, if he (and Optimus, to some degree) wanted to give what's here of humanity and nature a better chance.

[historia-vitae-magistras]

How aware do you think the kids are of their father, uncles and aunt’s childhood? I can see both it being an unspoken thing, but then a drunk Rhys or Arthur occasionally letting something slip. And would they ever talk about their mother?

I think stories from what Arthur considers his halycon childhood between the 1st and 4th century C.E have slipped through. Even with the Roman invasion and the displacements it caused and Boudicca's revolt that literally scorched themselves into a layer of ash still visible today in English archaeology, he remembers being relatively protected and high status both in the Roman world and in the British. Britain under the Roman empire wasn't the most important place in the empire but there were a lot of natural resources the British exploited, and conflict along the borders of northern England and southern Scotland made and unmade several emperors, with at least one being crowned in England iirc. Eirian was forced to negotiate with Lucius (a tentative name for Rome) about Rhys and Arthur but she did keep all four of them close. So Arthur remembers her and references her most when doing human activities done even in a modified sense, since the dawn of time. Things like spinning weaving and ship building he learned at her hand even if his memories of that are kind of bundled into Brighid too. The first apple crop after the Romans introduced them to England, the emptying of the beehives for winter storage, being taught to draw his bow against his cheek and shoot straight. Being scolded for running off without his cloak because he was a high energy ambitious little shit who never thought things through. Those things and the mentions or her make it into his children's lives.

They're less aware of who Eirian was as a person because Arthur especially looks at his earliest years under her guiding hand with rose coloured glasses so thick he's looking at anything pre 500s like this. But they are aware of her existence.

He leaves out the headhunting or maybe not really human sacrifice (the mine level amount of salt I have with the popular interpretation of Lindow man is kind of insane.) He leaves out executions and exile, torture and terror. Eirian loved her children in the way Boudicca did. The kind of love that leaves scorch marks in the earth for millennia. Her death was 1000 years before any of Alfred's generation came into being but considering that craters leave marks millions of years later, she's a presence.

It is a lot of So much of what we consider "Celtic" today is a result of the Celtic revival of the 19th century. Most profoundly in Ireland, but also to a fairly wide extent in Scotland, Wales and surprisingly for me who studied the lionization of the Anglo-Saxons by the British empire, England as well. So Eirian was a shadowy but present figure. The diaspora in the U.S. Canada, Australia and NZ often being referred too as Anglo-celtic gives me brain rot. This perception of her as viewed by children, particularly Arthur, something still concrete and visible. A lot of who Eirian was surrounded this lot as they're growing up. Just in Arthur's Manor house I think there are post holes from roundhouses, reused Romano-British masonry in the first floor, Viking age bodies in the back garden. At least one statue of her that either survived when the anglos saxons reused old Roman and British villas or that was uncovered in church foundations or even an actual pig sty (this actually happens) is around the house.

Also... There's one headcanon I've had for a very long time where he always waits for them to wake up and start breathing again if it happens around him. Sitting vigil through a long night, turning the other way when Matt outright leaves to go check on Alfred and watching him carefully for answers when he returns. He searched Matt's face for what news, what despair, what relief marked his expression when he returned from tugging Alfred's corpse from the piles of dead at Antietam. And that, I think, stems from Brittania's death. When the sun went dark in the sky and pestilence followed hot on the heels of famine and their mother did not wake. Not that last time however it happened. And that may be burned into their perception of their own deaths.

Tldr: God I'm never going to recover from the brain rot that one asinine piece of dialogue from the dub gave me.

Matt: "My Grandma taught me the true power of the maple leaf!"

Alfred: "Your Grandma sounds hot!"

[vanish-lou]

WW1 was started from the assassination of one man.

The Spanish American War started with the sinking of one ship.

The American Revolution was started over taxes.

Yet tens of thousands of children are dead in Palestine at the hands of an invading, occupational, regime, and we are expected to turn a blind eye and ignore them. More than a million people starving, freezing, huddled terrified under the ambience of fire and metal raining from the sky. Schools, hospitals, neighborhoods, places of worship, reduced to rubble. Children buried in collapsed buildings, men stripped and humiliated, the press shot, mothers being forced to give birth with no medical care. Treated like animals. Treated like less than animals. We're supposed to be ok with our government funding and condoning and defending this. We're supposed to think that little girl deserved to sit in that car for two weeks surrounded by the dead bodies of her family. We're supposed to be ok with journalists dropping off the earth one by one. We're supposed to turn a blind eye to the one place Palestinians were told they'd be safe being bombed. To think it's fine they have to pay thousands to escape to Egypt just to survive. We're even supposed to see that regime as the "good guys"

Where is their war? Who is helping them? What do they do when everyone who defends them is attacked? Where do they go?

But no, Israel are the good guys. Hamas is the problem, they're just defending themselves against the thousands of children who are so clearly a national threat. Bombing the hospitals filled with injured and sick folks who obviously threaten their way of life. Destroying neighborhoods filled with common every day citizens who are definitely out for blood. Don't think about it too much, trust your government, listen to the propos. You're anti-Semitic if you ain't a Zionist. Isreal are the good guys.

What a fucking joke.