#theyre just like. 'idk what a gender is i am just some guy'

[toytulini]

thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.

[pastadoughie]

Read over what was going on with anon asks and your posts, and tbh, if you are 16 and you are reaching this kind of critical thinking and actively trying to better yourself through meaningful debates and convos, you are doing god's fucking work from early. I couldn't even begin to form the kind of arguments you are articulating at your age in your posts, so fucking kudos.

I have a similar opinion of sexism being bad no matter the form it takes, patriarchy affects everyone because it imposes roles on everyone, not only women. Breaking those roles on all sides and genders should be the ultimate goal, not try to benefit from the system to become the oppressor.

In any case dude, good luck with the unavoidable influx of people who will misinterpret your posts. Also, your art is hella cool!

i think that alot of ppl just have a rlly hard time like, getting over the gut response to defend themselves when they recieve some kind of serious critisism, like, i think ppl understand on some level that sexism as a concept is stupid, but it can be hard to fully see all the nuances it takes and like, actually recognize it when its subtler

sexism is bad and when i point out that alot of you guys believe ideas that are like, really sexist then thats like, im assuming none of you are like "YEAA SEXISM RUELZZZ!!!! I HATE PEOPLE BASED ON THIER GENDOR" and u rlly rlly dont wanna be lumped into that group

its rlly normal to not wanna be mischaracterized and if you dont self identify as sexist then when someone points out sexist retoric it feels like an unfair and reductive veiw of u

and its like, you really really really need to work past that, im talking abt this stuff because i want ppl to change and be better and if you want that for yourself u have to like rlly chew on these kinds of things

i think what alot of people have issues with is like, relatability in artwork, like "of course im gonna like art with queer women in it more and find it more valueble if im a queer woman" but i think that this points to a really rigid and uphelpful veiw of gender

ive discussed before that, because the mind numbing ammount of biological differences people have theres no actual objective definition of sex or gender, its socially constructed and entirely arbitrary and subjective

i think that labels for sexuality and gender are useful shorthand in our current society though ideally we wouldnt need them, but you need to remember that these things arent rigid

butch lesbian is not a definable group, gay man is not a definable group, they are arbitrary words that mean something different for literally every different person

likewise acting like those meaningless labels somehow make some artwork more or less valueble just points to a bias against people with a certain label

like, the labels dont mean anything they shouldnt change your veiw of a work, if you resonate with a peice of work why does it matter what label is put on it? why does that affect your veiw on the peice?

and yes you are objectively going to relate to some experiences more then others, but i dont think relatability should effect how you value the work, infact id argue seeing perspectives different then your own is incredibly incredibly valueble and, if your disregarding (even subconciously) certain things because theyre made by men then that not only hurts men but it hurts you, it isolates you

maybe i didnt word that perfectly im not always the most articulate but like, i think most of the issues people are having with this are coming from me articulating things maybe not as intuatively as i could or from people refusing to properly engadge with what i have to say

idk, regarding the people accusing me of transmysogeny i just wanna say that like, I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO TALKING TO YOU ABT THIS!! i want to be better and i dont want to be mysogenistic! and if you do see concerning behavior in me i want to be told of it, you keeping these kinds of things to yourself or refusing to engadge with me when i actively am trying to be like, thourough and nuanced about things is just kinda, not productive

[eirian]

hey so. i may be making a really big decision regarding mirrors. and in the end im not taking anyone's opinions into account because it is my story and my characters and i can literally do whatever i want b/c im not getting paid for it.

but like what if i changed all the characters into women LOL

im ngl if i hadnt already come so far in mirrors i would be more matter-of-fact about changing the main characters' genders. i seriously think that if i had started mirrors at the point im at right now, the whole cast would be women instead. at the time i created these ocs i was heavily projecting transmascness/masculinity onto my ocs and thats why theyre all guys. but now im like. damn i wish they were all women actually. nothing changes about their character or personality its just that theyre now women. thats it. because im realizing there is an EXTREME SURPLUS of not just male dragon ball ocs but male characters in media in general? and ive LITERALLY been part of the problem despite always being like "oh i wish there were more women characters :( i wish i could make more women :(" like im realizing i can just Do That. if i want my ocs to be women now i can just Make Them Women. i have that power as the owner of these characters

so im thinkin like. idk man. i could honestly just make a page or even a little panel that says "hey just a heads up theyre all women now" and then from then on i draw them as women LMFAO like i dont even give a fuck anymore

in regards to the ethics of me "genderbending" my ocs which is what this seems like (although i think genderbending is in the realm of an au, whereas this would be Canon Changes. but still), ive decided i dont give a shit anymore <3 i am trans myself and ive stopped really seeing genderbends as inherently problematic and offensive. yeah theres ways and reasons for genderbending that people do that i definitely dont like (namely the "genderbending to sexualize" and "genderbending to make the pairing straight" things) but i think genderbending as a whole is like...fine i guess. like i dont care man

again, in the end this is a decision for Me and what i want for myself and my ocs and story. literally nothing will change except the gender of the characters lol (which WILL include some physical features such as calabris not having a goatee anymore and now a lot of them have bigger boobs i guess). but honestly if u dont like it then feel free to read another comic i guess idk. i'll be disappointed but ur free to do what u want

long post over <3

[windypuddle]

enstars headcanons

ok im going in order but i dont have headcanons for a few characters for sure. so. whatever on we go . just saying in advance these are mostly gender and Autism

fine:

eichi tenshouin: look i cant say anythinf about this guy hes already canonically terminally ill and gay. like what do you want me to do

wataru hibiki: genderfluid. whatever gender fits the performance. shes the moment hes the star theyre the epitome of an actor

tori: boy you are so gnc. princess but not a girl you know

yuzuru: has definitely had impulse thoughts about dying his hair and having a scene phase at 3 am

trickstar

hokuto: bigender. sooooo queer . also autistic

mao: um ritsu braided his hair sometimes when they were younger

ryuseitai:

chiaki: trans guy i have many feelings about this but he leans into the hero thing because its gender affirming. also autism

kanata: no gender only blublublub. likes wearing long skirts. filipino. has like 1 million fish earrings. also autism

tetora: TRANSMASC ‼️💥💪

midori: transfem... also autistic.. she is so important

shinobu: Autism Autism Autism. bonus the detachment from gender that sometimes comes with the autism but he hasnt really thought about it. hes just some guy

alkaloid:

hiiro: transmasc autistic i will die on this hill

aira: my lovely mutuals have convinced me with blasian aira its canon to me now. white french? no. cowards happyele are cowards i tell you. theres such a vast portion of the francophone world that is not white . also transmasc

mayoi: scaredgirl weirdboy core. whatever gender is easier at the moment. she likes being pretty

tatsumi: ok yknow what. fuck it. aroace tatsumi

eden:

nagisa: so much autism. nonbinary guy. religious trauma

ibara: lesbian. not going to elaborate bc thats not my problem ibara is just a lesbian

hiyori: hes just gay idk what to tell you. cisboy gay who is so annoying. when people complain about "gay isn't a personality trait" theyre complaining about him. also chubby

jun: also gay but fans love him for being normal about it. one of his main motivations for working out is being able to princess carry hiyori. hes so polite usually its insane but with eden he doesnt care because he loves them so hes a bit of a bitch

valkyrie:

shu: god is a woman and her name is shu itsuki. transfem and autistic i will Also die on this hill.

mika: transmasc and autistic

2wink:

hinata: men liker but dont ask me about her gender idk

yuuta: i see those slipups in twin peaks girl u are transfem nonbinary i think

crazy:b:

rinne: bigender [wild cheering] also demi aka down bad for niki specifically

niki: tboy swag but hes not really bothered too much about medically transitioning. arospec i think

himeru: Sooooo nonbinary. so so so nonbinary. i like to hc afab nonbinary himeru and mainly got top surgery to more easily pass as kaname but like gahdamn of course you have blue hair and pronouns (they/it/no pronouns)

kohaku: tboy swag . the gender in crazy:b is off the charts

Undead:

rei: 1 million genderqueer and SO gay. has all the problems of an older sister but also the hotness that comes with issues u know.

kaoru: ok. bear with me. aussie. also transfem... like what do you mean you hate men and only hang out with girls. definitely arospec

koga: AUTISM!! weirdgirl to autism boy wonder transmasc swag pipeline

adonis: also autism. he can be gnc. as a treat

akatsuki:

keito: come on man we all know youre gay and insufferable about it

kuro: he should get to have piercings i think

souma: autism boy wonder. while you were busy learning social cues he was studying the blade. also applies to gender norms

ra*bits:

nazuna: boy there is something gender going on with you. weirdboy or maybe a gender cis people have never heard of.

tomoya: That Is The Normalest Girl I've Ever Seen

mitsuru: autism

hajime: girl what is your gender. hes like the narrator of the arch nemesis cynthia post. so poor they cant afford a gender

knights:

tsukasa: autistic and please please please let him be chubby. staring at happyele with my biggest saddest eyes Please let tsukasa be chubby. while you're at it can he wear a skirt. please

leo: ok i give a lot of characters autism because i have autism and i get it but i think leo has adhd

izumi: agender. any pronouns. idk what to tell you he said in next door that he doesnt care about gender only beauty

arashi: only normal one in knights. i love aranee she should get 1 million hours to stress bake if she wants to

ritsu: ah i understand why vampires are gay. occasionally a girl if its funny

switch:

natsume: Diversity win!! the angry witch is transmasc!!! neurodivergent but i think its funnier if i dont specify.

tsumugi: new gender unlocked its pathetic wifeguy. hes every spirit in the fields of punishment and he does it willingly for natsume

sora: wahoo autism ^_^ yippee!!

madara: is cowboy a gender?

feel free to reblog and throw in ur own headcanons i love hearing other fans hcs it is so awesome!!

[communistkenobi]

sorry for sending this and getting involed while everyone else is being a dick about it. please dont think i agree with them.

but i do want to say that like. the genital preference thing is just like, a preference. like some people prefer to have sex in certain ways and thats not always possible with a given person's anatomy. i dont think its like a moral issue to say like for example "i like eating pussy but i prefer not to suck a dick" because those are two different things? and it doesnt necessarily come from transphobia either, i think theres more nuance than that.

there are plenty of reasons that someone might prefer a given set of genital traits (idk how to phrase that) like some people vastly prefer sucking a dick and thats great and fine and someone without that wouldnt be able to satisfy them in the ways they want to

like it will ofc get transphobic if there are assumptions about a persons anatomy based on whether theyre trans. like "i wouldnt have sex with a trans woman bc i dont like dicks" IS transphobic. but the statment "i dont want to have sex with a person with a dick" is just, a preference. the transphobia, i think, comes from the given assumptions about what trans bodies look like, both before and after surgery, thats where the political and social implications of genital preference come in. well that and the set of sex acts that people assume are possible with any given genitals.

wrt the sex acts thing like i, a pre bottom surgery trans guy, can have piv sex using my dick, which people would not think given the political and social implications of having a vagina. i think at a certain point blanket statements dont cover it and you would be Much better off confining it to specific sex acts and discussing with a person beforehand.

ftr i dont think cis people use the term genital preference acceptably and we should absolutely take that phrase away from them. but that doesnt make the term itself transphobic imo

I guess I’m just not willing to give this line of argument a lot of credit given how deeply this conversation is entrenched in (especially transmisogynistic) transphobia. I do not think it is possible to fully extricate yourself from cis-heteronormative ideas about bodies when talking about genitals in general.

And to be clear, I agree with you in the sense that I think moralising all aspects of sexual desire can lead to really bad conclusions - my stance on this issue is not predicated on the fact that I think all sexual desire and sexual expression is indicative of some underlying moral principle (ie the notion that BDSM or kinky sex means you love abusing people, or that engaging in group sex means you’re needy and self-centred, etc), because I don’t believe that and I think that can quickly lead to reactionary ideas about sex. But I am unwilling to cede rhetorical ground to “it’s just a preference” not because I think it’s impossible to prefer certain styles of sex over others - or even certain genitals over others - without attaching grand moral values to those preferences, but because of how deeply violent and malicious these ideas are so often expressed in the world. There is a dedicated slur for trans women that is premised on the fact that they have “the wrong” set of genitals, and by “pretending” otherwise (ie by being women) they are “tricking” men into finding them attractive or having sex with them. Because genitals are synonymous with gender by societal standards, because their presence and absence within gendered spaces are so deeply policed, because trans people having the genitals we have is itself seen as a criminal act (“concealing” our “true nature” for “nefarious” purposes) as well as evidence of the fraudulence of our humanity, I am extremely reluctant to entertain casual conversations that conclude with “well it’s just a preference.” Like, okay, maybe it is! But when I see that articulated in ways that frame some genitals as universally “repulsive” or disgusting, both of which are aesthetic assessments with very loaded (even if unintentional) moral judgements, transphobia alarm bells start going off in my head. Trans people are existentially dislocated from public spaces because our genitals determine access to basic necessities like bathrooms, changing rooms, dressing rooms, and the like - we do not belong because we are trying to enter gendered spaces with the “wrong” genitals attached to our bodies. Because access to public spaces is gendered, and because that gendering process is mediated through your genitals, it’s not just our identity being called into question but our ability to be human beings in public space. Our genitals are the site of metaphysical societal anguish over the nature of gender itself. Those are some pretty high stakes!

If someone prefers some sets of genitals over others, that is not an automatic comprehensive condemnation of their moral character vis a vis trans issues - it is, however, if the way they articulate that preference is indistinguishable from transphobic rhetoric, and if you step two paces in any direction you will encounter crowds of people doing just that.

[ghostcrows]

im not going out of my way to find discourse yk like i dont know what im finding is that even people i thought i was leveling with, im not level with at all. like people im mutuals with im finding myself seriously disagreeing with and you know how that goes on this website...you do not wanna go against the grain unless its in a way so extreme that it makes people go "this guys obviously right due to his extreme opinion and utter conviction about it"...

im finding this so fucking frustrating because of the framing of it all around. i'm frustrated that i feel like i've turned into some "transandrophobia truther" mouthpiece when that isnt how i feel either, i'm frustrated that any criticisms around, idk what else to call it, baeddelism?? i guess?? insofar as i understand it? which may not be very much, i get that...but it's like being framed as such that if you are against that style of framing of gender politics then you are against trans women, which i am not...i'm against SOME beliefs of SOME trans women but that is not the same thing

what i'm interested in is not "shutting down tma people" what i'm interested in is not "telling women to shut up and respect men(?! the kind of thing i keep seeing people saying and itll be over like...'trans girls and trans guys shouldnt fight we should have sex' posts that corny as they may be at times have been around for years and years but are now being recontextualized to fit an argument)"...all i am interested in is refuting the spread of repackaged radical feminism...which does not mean i am calling tma people terfs either...

it's touchy, i get that it's touchy and of course it would be BECAUSE of the very real conditions tma people live under and the very real shit that comes their way all the fucking time for everything they do...and it's hard to find people who both agree that the environment as it stands IS touchy and hostile and not also be like "yuppppp and thats trans womens fault" its not their fucking fault man this is like years of underlying Weird Gender Conceptualization coming to fruition in, really just the logical conclusion of tumblr style identity politics. and thats not on trans women to fucking answer for cause they didnt start this theyre just one part of a very overarching and frustrating Thing you know.

i guess it boils down as ever to "average tumblr user has never known nuance" . like . fuckkkk lol

[kurjakani]

FOR THE CHARACTER ASK THING!!!!! Im quite curious about your peter lucas thoughts, whats goin on with that old man?

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

PHEW THANK YOU I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS MAN. I'm gonna say. I definetly have a bit of a version of him in my head - it's been ages since I listened to MAG and he's kind of taken a life of his own. Also sorry i got so rambly here man i. Ill b real im lik3 right abt to fall asleep but i got exited abt him so here i go nevertheless..m

Sexuality Headcanon: HMM like. Bi. I dont think i can imagine him call himself that tho.

Gender Headcanon: old man. Like thats a part of his gender identity, being old.

A ship I have with said character: w MEEEE. My mag self insert. Lol. But yeah i am not that into the lonely eyes ship, just. Bc i do not care abt Elias all that much! I don't know many ships that include him otherwise. I haven't seen mary keay and plukas shipping but I'd love to. Idk. Awful vibes i think it could be great. Salesa maybe??? But I feel like its more like. Plukas likes looking at Salesa and Salesa kinda forgets hes even there sometimes.

A BROTP I have with said character: martin please. Please martin hang out w him tricking him into thinking ur getting more into the lonely but ur actually occupying his space and u are drifting away from the lonely TOGETHER. Also if u guys have heard the tim & plukas behind the scenes jokes abt cayacking and train documentaries. Yeah that too theyre """"buddies""""

A NOTP I have with said character: haven't come across anything that bothers me !

A random headcanon: i am really split on weather he barely eats or if he's like, a lowkey foodie. Idk why.

General Opinion over said character: For me I do view him as someone HURT by his loneliness, though in the show, if I recall right, he seems quite content? With his existance. Or says he is, and how he's drawn to it.

I will say- I partially mirror some of my own experiences of loneliness onto him. I was so afraid of opening up to people at one point that I convinced myself that I WANTED to be all alone. I used to want to move into a little cottage in the woods and cut off all contact to people. But it was a self destructive coping mechanism. At points a survival mechanism. Maybe canonically Peter Lukas is a reliable narrator?

I recall him talking about the warm glow coming from the windows of houses though, and the loneliness it made him feel- if i'm attributing this right. And i have a really hard time contributing that to anything but YEARNING. And reveling in yearning. I also have experience w that. Yearning is a DELIGHTFUL feeling.

So yeah I think I do find a lot of comfort in the version of Plukas I have in my head.

Honestly he's burrowed a little nest into my head abd become something beyond a little blorbo from my shows.

Like i have thought about marrying him as a performance art piece. But i dont think rustied featherpen would like that.

Anyways hes the hands. I reach out to the old hands with swelled joints and paper thin skin almost translucent yet the palest veins i ever did see like they'v been drained. Bro. He is the medival manuscript where the sun orbits the earth and that's his eyes and where they land on me. He is so far away and like honey 2 me bro

[smileymoth]

ok so i gave up figuring out my gender bc i have school and i don't have time for it. However.

its so fucked up to me that i can only ever relate myself to men. like there's so few female characters who i can relate myself to it's always male characters. I don't know if its due to in traditional media being a lack of well written women who aren't 100% traditionally fem, but it feels WEIRD ok!!! the only one i can kind of relate to is Bones from Bones(TV) lol. but thats also bc she's autistic and I'd rather date her instead. And in non traditional media like idk say mcrp, I love all the girls but I don't see myselt in them, it's always some freak whiteboy instead (cough etho cough)

I've felt so guilty for only ever relating to male characters (hence why all my ocs who i relate the most to are men/not women) All the women I see in media/social media, its not a "omg shes like me" moment, its more of a "I want her so bad it makes me look stupid" situation. Which makes sense since I'm a lesbian but uh. Wjere aum I

But like. I'm not a guy? I don't per say want to look like a man. Like my overall gender envy visuals come from, like, embarrassingly, fcking slimecicle, the thomas(? the blond one) guy from Maneskin, fuckin add jozels to the list and most worst of all w**bur s**t bc????. (He does make me me unbelivably angry when i look at him for too long? weird lesbian things ig). But most of them already look like lesbians. WHAT AM I. Weird girlboy freak who looks like the most average woman. But the idea that I look like a woman makes me feel ill . Kind of. If i get my medically humongous tits (still shocked the doctor told me theyre big enough to cause medical issues LOL) reducted it'll be easier to not feel like that much of a womanly woman tho lol .like i dont feel like a woman but i also dont feel like anything else .i dont confirm to the capitalist ideal and the societal idea of a woman, but if gender is a construct then i am a woman? But then me not feeling like a woman has nothing to do with my actual gender and more with societal expectations that i dont want to fill? I feel more like a girl than a woman even though i am an adult woman . Maybe its because i feel like people wont take me seriously bc im a kind of stupid overweight ''woman" . i am also a lesbian and that complicates things even more since have dykes ever been normal abt gender

I got so derailed oh my god . I still dont know why i dont find myself relating to other women. I love spending time with women, theyre wonderful and all, but i just. I dont feel like i fit in with them? I feel like i fit in better with a group of men??? But I also feel more in line with women/femmes???but i dont relate to them????

Like i feel guilty for this but i

??? What the fucj

my ideal gender is loser girlboyfriend who loves her girlfriend and also gets tossed around by her to a acceptable degree. Like i see couples and i just Yearn to be the boyfriend of a girl. I DONT KNoW

I still only like she her pronouns tho lol. And im not particularly butch . Im more femme/futch presenting than anything. I want to be an emo boy): my gender is emo dyke boyfriend JAJWSJWK

[misspickman]

fero pickman and xue yang. i know all your comics friends have you covered

fero !

Sexuality Headcanon: bi i think. i dont think hed care about defining that tbh. also keith once called him aromantic on twt and idk if thats generally considered canon but i enjoy it<3

Gender Headcanon: little guy. again to me? genderqueer but idk if hed care about it. in a modern au maybe, but less because he wants to define it and more because people would ask that of him. which maybe just makes him refuse to define it even more. much to think about

A ship I have with said character: ephero.. theyre so real in my heart.. i dont think about them much anymore but when i do. ah :(. also ferol he fucked that old man

A BROTP I have with said character: fero and hella and adaire,, what we could have had,, also mother glory. and samol. anyone of the main pcs tbh just put this guy in dynamics

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk honestly. i cant think of anything rn? im sure i have some but ?

A random headcanon: do you remember when we gave him a bunch of cats in our au. also: always fixing shit. this is how he shows he cares. he will not say it but he will fix that hole on hellas roof and be grumpy the whole time

General Opinion over said character: he has changed my brain chemistry irreparably. listening to seasons of hieron and going hes just like me fr (derogatory)

pickman!!!

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian. probably not something she thinks about much, a la "im probably nb but i have a job so idc about that now"

Gender Headcanon: my big butch wife. but in general same as above, she is what she is and shes too busy to dwell on it, and its not like its anyone elses business, right? also what even Are gender expectations of a caprak? i dont think this is ever discussed but i would like to know

A ship I have with said character: pickman/chantilly scathe.. man

A BROTP I have with said character: alekest :) and colette<3

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk i cant imagine her with men. the lesbian energy is off the charts

A random headcanon: i would like to think she gets more into art after zevunzolia. maybe into wood carving. it would be sweet. would she write poetry.. i dont think she would consciously sit down to do it but she is Very good at writing letters (thanks jack, for that<3)

General Opinion over said character: miss pickman my wife miss pickman.. we shall have a spring wedding.. i think about her six travelers ep So much. "I think it is something magical that separates us. Again, I am not speaking metaphorically."

xue yang :)

Sexuality Headcanon: probably bi. similar to what i said for fero but for entirely different reasons, i dont think hed care

Gender Headcanon: you see this is a Question. its been so long since ive actively thought about this so i cant articulate it but theres something going on there

A ship I have with said character: songxue, songxuexiao, i love a very horrid and messy xueyao too. any ship with xue yang is horrid and messy but in most cases the horridness is one sided but in xueyao its both of them. this increases the levels of horridness. u get me

A BROTP I have with said character: in my beautiful mind and nowhere else? wen qing. in a more realistic sense aqing and meng yao

A NOTP I have with said character: oh im sure there are many xue yang ships i would not enjoy but i dont wanna think about it rn. but uhh him and mo xuanyu? i just dont vibe

A random headcanon: in any modern au i am giving this guy soo many tattoos and piercings. also motorcycle guy

General Opinion over said character: i miss him its such a shame i can never step back into that fandom. also changed my brain chemistry but in a completely different way

[funnier-as-a-system]

ok wait question kinda abt plurality can an alter cause like. gender envy in a way? like the really bad kind where u think ur gonna cry if u cant be that guy immediately. maybe thats closer 2 straight up dysphoria idk. and like if so can i also ask like. how i guess?? like would it be them just wanting their actual body?? asking specifically in a case where theyre either not fronting at all or are maybe cofronting but being like really super subtle about that fast

This seems like complicated situation for you. To summarize what I believe is going on, you are envious of another alter in your system to the point it is causing you emotional distress, correct? And this distress is either similar or identical enough to gender dysphoria that you feel making the comparison is at least somewhat accurate, but you're not sure why it's happening, or if it's even possible in the first place. (If I have misjudged the situation, please do let me know.)

Firstly, I'd say this is possible. You're experiencing it, aren't you? That alone makes it possible; dysphoria, gender envy, and systemhood are all personal and subjective experiences, so the only way to judge how "possible" a situation like this is is to ask if there's a personal account of such experiences, which you have. Perhaps you've gotten some wording or details incorrect, but I'm not worried about that. The gist of the problem is communicated well enough, and I believe you when you say you have this problem, so I'd say yes, this is possible.

Besides – similar things happen with singlets. There are plenty of trans and genderqueer people who want to look/sound/etc a certain way, and who get dysphoria from seeing or being around those that are, in their eyes, living as they wish they could. It's not too terribly hard to believe that the same thing could happen in a system.

Secondly, I can't say for certain "how" this has happened, but I can make some guesses.

If it's something that only pops up when this alter is fronting, it may be a matter of behavior; many actions, both subtle (like the way one stands or takes off a shirt) and not (like the hobbies or career a person has), are seen as traditionally either masculine or feminine, and it's possible that this alter behaves in a way that is usually considered more masculine or feminine.* For example, if you have dysphoria over appearing masculine, and this alter happens to stand in a way that is traditionally considered feminine, you may find yourself experiencing dysphoria over not standing in a way that is "feminine enough" by comparison. In short, the (subconscious) line of thought here is, "They're acting in a way that clearly communicates the gender I feel I am, but I'm not as good at acting that way, which makes me dysphoric."

There's also the matter of... well, for lack of a better term, vibes. Some systems are able to "sense" their headmates/alters to some degree, and sometimes alters can "feel" masculine or feminine. Or, if it's a matter of internal communication, an alter may "sound" masculine or feminine – or, if it's a matter of appearance in the innerworld, an alter may appear more masculine or feminine. There's a lot that can go into expressing gender, even in your own head! If you feel your gender presentation/expression doesn't match your desires as well as your alter matches it, that may be a source of dysphoria. To restate a point made earlier, this is something common for trans and genderqueer singlets – no reason why it couldn't happen to you, too.

Gender dysphoria is tricky as a system, as not everyone may be able to properly present as themselves. Alters who are dysphoric over having breasts may find themselves in opposition with alters who would feel dysphoric without breasts. Alters who find their body's deep voice to be euphoric may be in opposition with alters who find such a deep voice to be dysphoric. So, yes, it may be a case of wanting your own body – one where you can make decisions about presentation and transition without worrying about causing stress or tension in their system. But that's not really what you're getting at, is it?

You were asking about how one may have distressing gender envy – or dysphoria – as an alter. I believe I've answered this to the best of my ability, although it should be noted that I am not an expert on your mind or gender. These are merely theories based on what I know about your situation and the accounts I've heard in both system and genderqueer spaces.

Now, then – why don't we discuss some methods that might decrease your dysphoria?

There are, of course, the classics – voice training, gender affirming clothing, gender affirming hairstyles, packing or binding. There's also using makeup to make your face appear more masculine or feminine, or engaging in specific hobbies that are more closely associated with your true gender, or at least less closely associated with your assigned gender. For system specific tips, I would suggest trying to give yourself a more affirming appearance in headspace – it may take a while, and isn't achievable by all systems, but we've known many alters and headmates that could partly or fully change how they look in-sys, given enough practice of visualizing themselves differently.

You're far from alone when it comes to dealing with gender dysphoria, anon, even if it's from such a specific cause. Why not look up some other suggestions on how to reduce gender dysphoria? Remember, though, you know yourself best, and that means that whatever gender you feel you are, you are that gender, no matter what your dysphoria says.

Hope this helps and you have a good day, anon!

*(Note: I focused on masculinity and femininity because it helped keep my response and explanation as clear as possible, but similar cases could be made for androgyny or other gender related expressions/identities.)

[rose022]

Okay 150 questions I will just pick random numbers

8 21 32 38 64 77 83 106 108 122 135 148

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

uhm. well my gender doesnt really have an opposite and i dont thibk anyone is particularly on my mind rn other than my friends. uh 2/3 have a tumblr and one hasnt posted like anything since ive been following him so. theyre cool tho i love them

21. What are you bad habits?

i bite my nails and skin a lot i think. i also forget to do stuff a lot. even whrn i really have been meaning to do it. uh theres a lot more but idk rn

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

. ik u chose these randomly but. wow. thats a. sure a question. ... i mean i am an adult so uh. assuming they were ok with it uh. nihachu and uh. miura ayme? idk those are the only two celebrities i can think about. that. with. weird question. uhm. maybe i shouldve just opted out (<- still writing)

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

i really like black hair. not super taller than me that i cant reach. likes me a lot super duper much. understanding when im unwell. good with physical affection. uhm idk

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

oh gods. okay. uhm. wow. so uh. whvsoabdisjdbsbjqbfisbfkabdjendifdh. so it was late october 2020 and we were having a sleepover at my house (yes ik we were being bad abt the lockdown, its been years shush) and uh i forget how it started or like what we were talking about beforehand but we were on my bedoom floor on the mattress i got for her and my mom and sister were asleep already i think cus it was like past midnight and uh. idrk. we were goofing around and nervous and we had some gum first and then idk?? got it over with?? her lips were so soft. and. afterwards she started talking about fish (she loves fish), specifically big mouth billy bass, yknow the one that moves and sings?? look it up. anyway it was great but i dont think she really cares anymore. its ok

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

i havent seen the second so the first

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

gods i hope not but. fuck. maybe. haaahhh

108. What should you be doing?

sleeping soon i thibk. i will i promise...

122. Is cheating ever okay?

my go to thought for this question is about tests and yes. but for relationships no. just communicate whatever your problem is or break up. its not worth the alternative.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

i dont remember. i barely remember anything ever. sorry </3

148. What’s your favourite quote?

i have a list on discord but. can i judt do the minecraft end poem? "and the universe said i love you because you are love". hey fun fact that's my senior quote

[fvedyetor]

Fyodor and Chuuya for the character ask game

oooh ty for the ask! sorry for how long and messy it is i have lots of thoughts just not very coherent

ok fedya first:

Sexuality Headcanon: bi but denies it. lowkey just anyone with white hair huh. actually yk what?? aroallo. hes soooo aro omg (projecting). fyodor himself would be very no-label tho.

Gender Headcanon: um usually just cis actually. cis guy or cis woman. but valleykey's fics are so so good and xir fyodor gender fuckery is so fun. again i think fyodor is pretty no-label. could have queer vibes, but would never tell you. OMG ESPECIALLY IF FEDYA TAKES OVER OTHER PEOPLE'S BODIES wait i wanna see him take over a woman. genderfluid fyodor?

A ship I have with said character: fyosig :3 theyre my toxic yuri. i ship fedya with so many people but him and sigma's relationship is so interesting and brain itching omg. in canon itd be so toxic and bad and fucked up and in my aus its also that but sometimes its fluffy.

A BROTP I have with said character: um. yk what? agatha and fyodor. i want to see what their relationship is like... but for now im just imagining them drinking tea and talking shit abt fitzgerald and stuff.

A NOTP I have with said character: ummm i rarely have notp's. i am super non-judgmental when it comes to stuff like this in fandom. fyodors one of those characters that pretty much every ship i see is super cool

A random headcanon: strawberries. he likes strawberries. idk just thinking abt fyodor and bloody fruit hehe (pomegranates!! he'd struggle opening pomegranates he'd need help from kolya or other)

General Opinion over said character: very cool!! asagiri is hurting my brain with all the lore drops abt him that actually isnt enough explanation of lore. i love fyodor and his religious symbolism omgggg

chuuya!:

Sexuality Headcanon: um gay or bi w/ very masc preference. hes the guy who'd think he's gay and then realize hes bisexual, not the other way around. theres a fave fic of mine with transfem dazai? chuuya is sure hes into men and then after dazais two year defection he comes to the basement and sees the most gorgeous woman ever and is like "oh wait nevermind" also i think he'd be into yosano. but thats it for the women he's attracted to.

Gender Headcanon: trans masc loser :) love him

A ship I have with said character: sigchuu. i have a legend of zelda au with them and omg <3 <3 chuuya would fix sigma. but not really. anyways sigchuu my beloved <3 they have similar pasts if you look close enough... theyre so silly!!

A BROTP I have with said character: tachihara and chuuya!! i mean obviously the flags ofc but i was just reading some fics and omg tachihara and chuuya are besties. they need to hang out more

A NOTP I have with said character: again... i dont think theres anyone here... tho maybe i'll say romantic skk. platonic and queerplatonic skk is so cool and more fitting i think. i'll still read romantic skk fics tho

A random headcanon: ummm hmm i dont think about chuuya enough for this huh. i think he'd be into theatre but it'd be a guilty pleasure. in the privacy of his own home, he's jamming out to rock musicals, but in public he'd never squeak a word about theatre bc hes so embarrassed.

General Opinion over said character: so cool!! hes so awesome. i like him. i like how hes so powerful but then also just so chill. as much as people are sad about how little we see him in canon, i really like how he'll only pop in once a while. good for him for skipping out on the canon's bullshit all the time hehe

haha sorry for how long this is!! i dont have any solid headcanons really, theres so many ideas out there i cant pick lol

ask game

[grapecaseschoices]

I discovered so many cool ifs thanks to your blog. I must say your taste in characters and stories is exquisite. Do you have a certain type of favourite ROs as in are there some romance tropes that you always go for? I'm a sucker for the emotionally unavailable ROs, so Orion and August have me in a chokehold rn. I'm honestly having so much infamous brainrot after reading that amazing demo. Do you prefer gender-selectable or gender-locked ROs? I personally don't mind either way as long as they're well written and portrayed. And you're so right we need more NB/Trans ROs for sure! Specially more that are POCs! <3

Oh, anon you don't know how much this makes me SMILE! Not so much about my tastes (though I'm smiling on that too, you flatterer :-P) but because of the IFs. I think Interactive Fiction is such a delightful medium with SUCH potential, and I love trying to stuff it into more people's faces.

Oh, man. I've actually been thinking of this -- because I once semi-jokingly said/had the thought that I always go for the characters of color [that's not TRUE, but I feel like I'm more inclined to give them a chance regardless of trope as long as I find the character intriguing enough] because I want to make sure they get love. So, I feel like I haven't really been looking at games/stories through tropes of late -- because IFs haven't yet reach a place where I'm afforded that? I don't know if I'm making sense.

BUT this question definitely took me back, lmao. And it is going to expose why TWC will always be on my neck, as well as that I am a LITTLE bit of a liar (because thinking on this made me realize though I may try and be broad with my interests to support characters of color, my subconious is a clown and likes what it likes werew lmao).

TL;DR I do love the stoic ones. I do love the ones that seem indifferent and/or cold or just So Serious and Don't Have Time For Your Tomfoolery but also have a sense of humor, a sense of justice/loyalty, and can get super soft/flustered for MC (but not just mc but their loved ones:

A du Mortain 🤡

Orion Quinn (Orion chuckling at Rowan's jokes privately? I knew he was the one for me BUT THAT SOLIDIFIED IT. I AM GONE FOR HIM)

August Pierce (letting themselves be suckered into things by their sister, being flustered by MC in a romance??)

Calderon (Andromeda Six)

Elliot (OFNA) - though I haven't gotten far in ofna.

D (atoc)

I love the soft and bright ones. Sometimes they're sarcastic (but to a point. There's a reason why I love the Scott McCalls more than the Stiles Stilinkis), they're mischevious. They don't need to have a dark past but I'm not against it. They're still KIND despite all they've gone through. Their hearts are just so BIG. And if you throw in a bit of friends to lovers? I'M THERE.

F Hauville.

Bash (a6)

I think Victoria might fit here, but more of a hardened shell version (which I wanted to add I feel this type has a lot of subcategories that I also enjoy). A more defiant version, a version who is less impulsive, more in control? idk what im saying. Which I'd also put Ayame from A6 here.

Skye Cortéz from Skin and Scales.

I feel Kiran from Unseelie will fit this.

Those are clear off the top of my head but there are other ones I like. I love characters that have poise but also are cunning (I think A from ATOC would fit here if you need an example; Sabir from the Exile, Straasa from TSSW, Leonie from Reaper's Bay .... that theyre all black is a coincidence -- one I JUST realized wqere lmao), I love childhood friends to lovers as I stated, I love enemies to reluctant allies to friends to lovers, I love second chance romances (or reunited friends that turn to romance). I'm blanking at personalties, right now. I'm sorry.

Oh, negl. Sometimes I go for the 'fuck everyone but you' Villain. I like it when the powerful "bad" guy (gn) is obssessed with MC. Like, not an RO but for an example Falk. Or an actual RO Manerkol from The Soul Stone Wars. Krios from Dying Stars.

Sometimes, but not always, I go for the hopelessly devoted and utterly loyal to MC bodyguard sort like Kai from Reaper's Bay. Devoted and protective does usually get my pitter patter - like John from Made Marian, but like I said not always. Especially if OVERPROTECTIVENESS can be a point of discussion between the pair (ie mc and the ro).

There are other stuff but i am blanking right now.

As for gender, I don't care generally -- but I do tend to shy away if there isn't an NB option when they're gender selectable, and if there isn't I want at LEAST ONE NB ro (more than one) that isn't gender selectable. I like it better tho when it's all gender selectable or like two are gender selectable and the rest are set genders but evenly so.

and yes that SPECIFICNESS -- you make a point I hadn't even thought of: DEFINITELY need more trans/nb options, PERIOD, but please writers and artists should consider having them of color as well!!

[dykeyote]

💔 + 🎥 for tpo or rgu (or both!!)

also maybe 📜 for rgu cause i’m trying to get into it

i assume u mean tpp bc idk what else tpo would be tho i may be being stupid ...... so i will do both bc i like to talk >:)

one of my least favorite characters from penumbra and why: oh god i really cannot stand mick mercury . i really cant . i just really dont like himbo characters or anything adjacent ..... unless its handled INSANELY well or in a really new and compelling way i just Do not like cis guy characters where the whole thing is that theyre like incompetent and dumb and thats their main thing and often feels like their Only thing i just Do not like it they immediately get on my nerves and i dont like his voice either so whenever hes on the show i am Displeased ...... theres interesting aspects to him and idk i get why people like him i suppose but i cannot stand him . at all . he just is like the biggest example of a trope i really hate </3

one of my least favorite characters from rgu and why: this ones tricky because like .... i like most of the characters that dont do awful shit . like i can be like "oh i hate akio" and ur gonna be like yeah duh ......

fav scene from penumbra: i did this a while ago in this post but ill also throw in one that i forgot which is that i do quite like juno and cassandra's interactions in murderous mask also .... its quite entertaining and puts an interesting lens on both characters . and also theyre both really fucking funny

fav scene from rgu: okay like.... there are many INSANELY good scenes in rgu . so beautiful so cool so fucking thought provoking it is an AMAZING show . however ngl the scene i think and talk the most abt (i literally was talking abt this to my friend the other day who was thinking abt watching it) is the goddamn scene in the dub (idk what its like in the sub i havent seen it i might after i finish watching the dub thru bc i struggle w paying attntion to captions) where they like . show this like triple angle shot of utena and all the girls are staring at her with heart eyes and shit and then they go in the silliest fucking anime dub voice "Shes So Cool" when it is so obvious that they all want to say shes smoking hot and they need her rn . love that scene . i think abt it all the time . its so funny . why would u censor the lesbians of ohtori academy which is apparently all the girls ever

plotline of rgu and what kind of media it is: revolutionary girl utena is a late 90s anime that was heavily influential on the anime that came later and on animation in general (: the plot surrounds utena tenjou, a teenage girl (ish . her relationship to gender is VERY complex and she is at the very least clearly butch to me . bigender utena 4eva) who wants to be a prince and who is sort of unintentionally drawn into a duel for (among other things) the hand of the rose bride, anthy himemiya, a teenage girl with some magical capacities who is treated more as an object than a person by those who want to win her. utena wins the duel, and continues to have to defend her spot as champion despite not particularly Wanting anthy to treat her as her owner and bride-to-be. things obviously spiral down and get way more complicated from there but thats the basic synopsis of the beginning without spoiling later stuff (: (and obligatory warning for anyone intrigued by that that it gets very heavy later on check the warnings ideally on smt besides does the dog die bc there is a Large amnt and imo the does the dog die doesnt really cover them properly or explicitly explain how intrinsically tied to the narrative some of said warnings Are)

[polyamorouspunk]

look i know its not friday but i have a 'sleepover' ask anyway bc uh idk why not ur my mutual

i consider myself mlm but every once in awhile i see a trans woman and i go HOLY GF UCKING SHIT and its not that i see them as a man theyre def a woman and i am attracted to them so like. i dont like the bi or pan labels and ive been thinking about this for like. the past month? i think i just like trans people (i would never date a cis person. ever) but idk if i wanna keep using the mlm label cause i dont wanna make a transfem feel dysphoric yk? but mlm gay is the label i identify most with since i primarily like men. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? i dont care about labels *that much* but like. still. idk

youre welcome for the rant btw

*presses hands together* so like tbh honestly I think there are def some trans people out there who would be chill if like. You kept the label mlm but respected their gender identity. I do have a friend that for the longest time identified as a trans guy, they might still but I know the?3 started going back to using she/her pronouns sometimes (if you’re reading this hi feel free to jump in) and they’re dating someone who considers themselves to be a cishet guy so like. Yeah I feel like it’s been a bit confusing on his part but from what I remember them telling me, like they were cool with him still identifying as a cishet guy while dating them, a trans guy. And I mean like I certainly don’t have any issue with someone dating me and identifying as a cishet guy because like I do identify as a girl or with my agab or whatever and like as long as they’re chill with me using he/him pronouns or they/them pronouns every once in a while then cool but like honestly I don’t really enforce my pronouns with anyone unless Punk is strongly fronting. Like I go around just being called she/her all day every day and it really doesn’t bother me. I think it’s really up to the person whether or not they would feel dysphoric because I know that some people including me wouldn’t tbh.

[tezzbot]

Osomatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu (🏳️‍🌈💌💔🧸🪀💬🎃🔊)

not gonna do all of these for all 3 ive been trying since last night my brains gonna melt lmfao

🏳️‍🌈 lgbt hc

osomatsu thats a dyke

jyushimatsu i think w regards to gender probably doesnt give tht much of a fuck tbh. hes just jyushimatsu also woman liker

todomatsu uhhh . hm idk.. theres smth fruity going on there i mean look at it. not sure how id label him hes like a lgbt what all at once type u know HDHJDG

💌 fluff hc

osomatsu has always really loved horse racing even before he had a gambling addiction lol i think as a kid hed go to the library or smth and just Read n Learn about horses and races in general thats the tism baby he knows literally everything you ask him who won whatever race in like 1976 he Knows its like scary impressive (literally how else wld he remember horse racing results from Ten Years In The Past in the movie!!!!) if you gave him a horse he would fully know how to take care of it

jyushimatsu and homura, tho not dating cus i dont think theyre ldr kinda people, they do still stay in contact, they talk on the phone n write each other letters tgey r the world

some of the friends todomatsu has do legitimately enjoy hanging out with him like the barista girls what r their names. aida and s. saachi? they like him a lot! as a friend! he just is in the mindset of im bottom of the social barrel so he doesnt always see it lol

💔 angst hc

do i even need to do this these guys r miserable little freaks as is lmfao

osomatsu. cant think of anythin original just uknow usual. childhood trauma, dependency issues, oldest child 3rd parent syndrome, etcetc

jyushimatsu feels bad abt how he treated ppl in high school, despite the fact tht it was a defence mechanism he didnt Like being so angry all the time :( its why he tries so much to make people happy now. tht anger does still make its appearances but hes better with it now

🧸hurt/comfort hc

osomatsu when he feels like trashgarbage will go and find one of his brothers and if he finds one of them in the house he'll go n sit by them n try strike up a conversation but if hes feeling like considerably bad he'll just sit and maybe lean against them just for the pressure remind him that theyre there keep him grounded

💬 fav line

jyushimatsu - literally all of his big long stupid internal monologues are great but literally the best line in the show is "Samples, my guy" it legitimately made me laugh So loud when i first watched that episode by myself

🎃 sth i think theyre afraid of

osomatsu hemophobia not a fan of blood, why he freaked out so bad in the movie over a scuff

jyushimatsu probably claustrophobic n being restrained fr long not of his own accord, man needs to fidget

todomatsu literally so scared of seeing the hat man in the dark. he watched one five nights at freddys video in 2015 and now his brain thinks hes gonna see bonnie in the bathroom at night he closes the door facing into a room so he has a full view of the room w his back On the door to make sure he hasnt been followed despite the fact he Knows he hasnt. just in case lol (no i am not projecting [lying])

🔊song that reminds me of them

oso - get well city by felix hagan and the family (a lot of their songs make me think Matsus in general tbh lol)

jyushi- dumb dumb by mazie

todo is kinda hard to nail down but - secrets by p!nk