#think i might've hit art block

[stickfigurebrainrot]

Now I'm imagining Purple with 'Drift away"

[thatonekreachur]

hhhhh finally I have time to now post this hshshshshhshs

anyways au

so um, yeah, so um uh...

Some days ago I decided to listen to a song for the first time, Symbiotic by Starset, and then i thought "wow. this is absolute broppy material." until it came to me.

guys, hear me out... in this au the trolls have glowy markings all over their body, and the bergans are giant machines that feed on their energy.

Also, the colors of the glowy bits on the pop trolls are like the colors of stars... they can be blue, like a hot blue star, or red, like a cool red star, or yellow, like our sun (even though it's kinda white...). Just a little detail of think is cool, and it's gonna be overall space and glowy themed and such!

And it will of course focus on our famous duo over there! Some things under the cut

The perks of this au includes:

Space and glowy themed ofc

Adding in to the worldbuilding

It will cover all three movies, and I will rewrite the story of each

More interaction between characters

Extra action and suspense and violence

So I am like torn between turning this au into a ao3 fanfic or a comic, or maybe both... idk... let me explain.

So, for comic, which is what I am really leaning into more, my art would look a little... flat at the start, and I would improve and advance as I work on it a little more. One disadvantage is how long the comic will take to complete. One other comic that I read on Deviantart literally took ten fucking years to complete, and for something that's going to cover three whole movies, I don't really think it's gonna be plausible.

Like, the comic will have an introduction chapter, and will be divided into three parts, each representing the three movies, with more being added with future installments. Like, if it will take ten fucking years to complete one part, then I will literally grow old and die before I even start one that will cover the potential fifth or sixth movie, not to mention the high chance of hitting artist's block. So my solution is to keep this short, but not too short to not make the plot feel rushed, and not too long so it won't literally take more than 2 years to complete...

So, for fanfic, it will take a lot less time to complete, and I get to learn how to write, but not how to draw. And for doing both, I get to learn how to draw and write but then I might overstimulate myself doing a buncha things at the same time.

But one thing for both of them is that I have to overcome the fear of writing the characters names on there, so you guys have to help me out on this one. I have no idea why I am afraid of putting the names on there, like its a bunch a words... what harm can they do?

I might've made the conclusion, I will do the comic one better. Guys if this feels a little rushed and the grammar feels broken is because I am writing this at the point where I need to go asleep and the melatonin is kicking in. so, yeah goodbye

[tired-reader-writer]

Okay so, ask game incoming.

Character(s) (you can choose one, if you want): Our son Arslan, Give, Isfan or our queen Farangis! (You can also do one of your OCs, if you want ☺️)

Questions: 2, 5, 14 and finally 23 for a wonderful end!

Hope you have a wonderful day!

(I have HARD Azar/Maar/Daryun/ArSen brain rott today... ugh my brain is OVERFLOWING with ideas and scenes!)

(I'm so sorry for the many options I can't decide on characters)

What an ask! Here's the original ask game post for others who might want to participate.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Arslan

There's a lot of things I like about him, so much that I struggle to pick a favorite. I think I'll settle on the fact that he remains kind despite everything, where other stories might've made him “disillusioned” and become more ruthless in the name of character development, I am incredibly thankful that it didn't happen to Arslan. He gets to be kind. All the strengths he gains and the growth he goes through happens to support his kindness. Parts of him aren't being taken off, he's becoming stronger so that he could be allowed to continue being kind. And I find that revolutionary especially in a historical fantasy type story like this.

Gieve

The fact that deep down he does want to believe in something good, want there to be something worth believing him. He's grown cynical due to reality but the fact that he does hope even if unbeknownst to himself does something to me. Also, the fact that he's like an onion I guess. He's got them Layers™ and unraveling those layers might or might not make you cry.

Isfan

His absolute earnestness I suppose! He's so eager, he puts 100% into things he does (like, apologizing for not being able to capture that sorcerer despite having reduced that one onto one leg, despite having fought so valiantly? boy's a perfectionist and overachiever). I find it admirable even if I can't relate in matters except art, lol.

Farangis

Her refusal to entertain Gieve's bullshi— okay, that aside, her ability to step back and see the bigger picture instead of being caught up in emotions, and thereby having the ability to gently nudge other people (especially Arslan) back on track. Also her courage because damn is she daring as fuck.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Arslan

• Kamado Tanjirou no Uta by Nakagawa Nami (more canon leaning)

• Untitled world by ReoNa (more Wolfpack AU leaning)

• Yakudou by Sakamoto Maaya (applies to both but also leans a taaad more towards AU if only because all those bells in the song)

(all three songs included in the playlist!)

(also I know this is technically three songs instead of one but have you considered he is my darling son?)

Gieve

There hasn't really been a song I hard-associate with Gieve just yet, I don't know why but nothing quite hits the sweet spot for me so far. If anyone's got recommendations I'd verily appreciate it!

Alternate joke answer is Yakety Sax.

Isfan

Wolf Blood by Adrian von Ziegler! It's an instrumental with no lyrics but I immediately think of him whenever I listen to it.

Farangis

I think I've said it before but Trøllabundin by Eivør always makes me think of Farangis! To add one more to that, Dance of the Spirit by Kokia.

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Rather than assign one if the modern aesthetics bc frankly I know nothing about them, I'm just gonna take this opportunity to infodump about my character design choices. Also, my answers will be for Wolfpack AND my character design sheet stuff because why the fuck not.

Arslan

His clothes reflect the most the people around him. He's surrounded by two cultures and he combines them to express himself. In terms of silhouette I tried to make him look Solid. A solid block of friendship LOL.

Gieve

Loose, free, flowy stuff. There's always something flappy hanging from his clothes. Wind is an element I associate with him so yeah! You'll see when my design sheet of him is done.

Isfan

Clothes that fit him very well in terms of tailoring. Rather than the clothes creating a specific silhouette they adhere to the body instead if that makes sense. On the more traditional side of things. Due to geographical proximity, the regional fashion of the Gorgan region is influenced by Turanian (Mongolian) ideas.

Farangis

Flowy, but in a different way from Gieve in that it's much more well put together and tidy. I don't really know how to explain it, but I chose the clothes that I did for Farangis for a reason!

23. Favorite picture of this character?

HOO BOI HERE WE GO.

Arslan

Gieve

Isfan

Farangis

[cheesycokeart]

Rambling about scrapped projects so I don't feel like the work went to waste

I've only really made like, 3 little games. Which admittedly, I should be trying to make myself Finish more projects just so I can get more experience and be able to reliably work on something larger. Inbetween, I get the spark to make a buncha different ideas that usually don't get very far for one reason or another. I know this is a bad habit, and I'm tryin' to work on it.

Otherwise though, gonna talk about a few projects where I wanna show off what little work I did put in before deciding I was better off killing it, including a "follow-up" to Grenade Volley.

This is just some not-even-prototype-level stuff with myself rambling about things I wanted to do. So be warned before hitting read more!

Drivin' Breach

So this was started in part based on my desire to create something utilizing the Grenade Volley world with a more "safe" gameplay style. I absolutely love old distance games, like Learn to Fly, Kitten Cannon, Shopping Cart Hero, etc etc but I realized it wasn't a super common style of game these days so wanted to take a crack at making one.

I had the basics of it going and I was pretty proud of what I had artistically and in terms of tone. Ambitiously, I even wanted a fully animated opening cutscene, but in hindsight that might've been a bit much to try and pull off.

To try and set it apart, I imagined that one main hook would be having a wide variety of "special items" that you could used to propel yourself further, each one controlling differently for players that wanted some variety, and maybe even implementing individual upgrade lines for said special items. I wanted to make the "Magic Tail" item a buttplug tail.

After a bit of time of working I just realized things weren't coming together how I would've liked them to. Physics weren't quite satisfactory, I couldn't figure out how to implement gliders, and I wasn't super confident about balancing it to stretch the game out but also make it feel rewarding. Those combined with waning passion for the project just kinda killed it off. I was pretty proud of the art and stuff I did for it, though, and what I had going so far.

I also ended up applying some of the code (where the world moves around the player, allowing for infinite movement) to Downhill to Infinity!

(Also that shop music you here is Closed on Sundays by Mana Junkie, a CC3.0 track I found online)

Earth Servant Ms. Usagi

I was super enthusiastic about this one for a while!! I was stoked about the idea of making a game using Ms. Usagi because she was one of my many characters made with games in mind from the get-go. I ended up settling on this weird mix of Megaman-style, fast platforming, and stylish melee combat. Notice, though, the animations are not finished at ALL.

I wanted to push fun and snappy combat, encouraging the player to bounce between enemies while using environment and speed to their advantage. Think like a hectic anime fight where the main character is running around boppin' every bad guy while darting between them. A style meter was also applied, rewarding chained attacks.

To go over the moveset: Attacking from a standstill performs an uppercut, attacking in the air performs an air kick. If you only tap the attack button for the air kick, it stops Usagi in mid-air and keeps her close to the enemy. If you hold it, however, it will both put her current speed into the kick AND launch the enemy according to said speed. Holding down while attacking in the air will slam to the ground. She also has a blaster move that's especially good for continuing combos. For defense, I added dashing maneuvers and a block/parry inspired by MGR.

I still think this kick feels fuckin sick to pull off.

Few problems came up. First one was just plain ol' being scared of level design, but that one I coulda bruteforced through. More importantly at one point I took a break and went back to it later only to realize that it Wasn't Fun. Movement felt way too slippery, I wasn't making the fast momentum-based movement blend well with the fast combo-based combat. If I wanna do anything like this again, I'd have to figure out a better way to blend this.

Either way, I know for certain I'd LOVE to make a Ms. Usagi game in the future, I think she could make for something very fun and poppy and stylish.

BONUS

During one of the beta versions of Godot 4, I had short-lived thoughts of wanting to make a wave-based FPS to play with its 3D features. I wanted the game to have a gross, crusty aesthetic. It never got far at all, but I made a "gore harvester" machine for it and I still really like that thing. It was fun to draw such ugly textures.

[useless-bi-otch]

Cookies'n Cream - Chapter 11

Last chapter / MasterList / art by @aneenasevla

Chapter 11 - Intercession

"Kanny... you didn't need to do that..."

"Yes, I did, Tomori," Kanami interrupts her without frills, cracking her fists, the right one being currently bandaged with gauze "I might've hurt my hand hitting that bowling ball head, but it was worth it."

Hiro laughs mischievously, throwing his head back. Tomori, on the other hand, can only smile weakly. A surge of affection for her overprotective friend filled her up completely and made her feel warm inside, which was a welcome change from the cold sadness she'd been feeling since the night before. But thinking about Okubo getting punched, as much as she agreed it was deserved, didn't make her feel any better.

The three of them had just left the Heavy Bakery, after calling the day's activities closed. After such an emotional morning, especially for the sous chef, the most logical conclusion to come to was that they deserved a break, preferably with food cooked by others on the side. Ohma and Paikon were invited to participate, but both declined the invitation, each with their own reasons for doing so.

"Drinking and eating grilled meat would be a good way to enjoy the weekend, but I'm going to have to stay late to clean up the trail of destruction that that big idiot left," The janitor pointed to the tables that had been overturned after the altercation between Kanami and Okubo, and the baker had managed to look just a little bit embarrassed.

"Thanks, but I already have something else to do. Koga asked for a sparring session," Ohma explained when saying goodbye to them, after the bakery was closed. "And at a time like this, I think she needs you guys more than me."

And with that, it was just the three of them, walking together through Tokyo's shopping district, Kanami and Hiro flanking Tomori like they were a pair of bodyguards, if bodyguards had the habit of acting like high school girls who were determined to make their heartbroken friend forget the loser that had hurt her.

"It sure was! And you deserve all the applause I can give you before you tell me to stop embarrassing you, love," Hiro declares after laughing, very satisfied "Have you ever knocked down a pachyderm that size before, Kanny? If not, we can now declare this your new record."

"Nah, it was nothing worth geting praise over," The baker snorts, now looking sincerely frustrated "It doesn't count as a victory when the opponent literally let you win…"

That makes Tomori turn to her, surprised.

"What do you mean? Did he... did he let you punch him?"

"Yep. He didn't even try to parry, the son of a bitch," Kanami grunts with disdain "In addition to being a jerk, he's also arrogant. Underestimating another fighter like that, thinking he's hot stuff just because he has a stupid belt..."

"Or maybe he thought that if you got some satisfaction out of that punch, you'd be more willing to comply with his requests..."

"Not a chance! Tomori didn't want to see him, so he wasn't going to get close to her, no matter how many punches he let me throw at him," Kanami declares with conviction, and Tomori blushes slightly, her smile widening a little.

“Seriously, you guys are the best. But… I didn't expect him to do something like that. If he let himself be punched, I mean...," She admits, lowering her eyes in contemplation "I thought he was going to try to block, or at least run from the bakery when he saw that you were willing to fight him. He does have a bit of a history with the police, after all..."

"Oh no, Tomori! Don't let that bout of masochism on his part get through you, girl!," Hiro commands, pointing to his friend imperiously "Men like that are capable of anything, even putting up with a little public humiliation, if that means they're going to get what they want later. None of this is necessarily a sign of regret, my dear."

“And even if there was some regret, would it make any difference?,” Kanami complete, serious, "Would it change anything he did? Would it make you feel less hurt or disappointed?"

"… No, it wouldn't," She concedes after sighing, hugging herself as if she's cold while averting her eyes "It wouldn't change a thing. I think it's just the fan inside me talking, trying to cling to some bleak hope that he's not a complete idiot, that there's a good explanation for what happened yesterday..."

"Well, you can send this inner groupie to a extended vacation, with no return date," Hiro makes an incisive gesture with his right arm, as if closing the matter "You deserve better than to be treated with such neglect, Tomoh."

"Well said! Now let's forget about that asshole a bit while we focus on this rest of weekend," Kanami tries to smile "Let's stuff our faces with meat, drink something cold and non-alcoholic and, later, we can go to the karaoke. Is that good enough for you?"

"Haha, karaoke is always good enough for me," Tomori laughs softly while pulling her phone out of her purse "I think now is a good time to call Akane to see if she's available to party…"

"And when that girl isn’t available to party, my dear? It's in her blood!," Hiro laughs, to which Kanami rolls her eyes a little.

"And in yours too, I suppose. Where did I get myself into when befriending you...," She smiles when that makes Tomori laugh more openly. And then she adds, “But she'll definitely ask about yesterday, since she was the one who helped you get ready. Inevitably we will come back to that subject again..."

"Which is good, because in that girl's venomous tongue, baldie's name will turn into a curse!," Hiro chuckles. “Soon, all of Tokyo will have joined the trend of saying that screwing up with something simple that has everything to work out is 'making an Okubo out of yourself'."

They continued their way through the shopping area, laughing and joking, and as Tomori had predicted, it was helping to keep her mind well off the events of the previous night. But she still dreaded the moment when she would be alone again, at home, far from any human warmth that could comfort her. Then the depressed thoughts would come back full force.

Maybe she should come up with some excuse for not having to sleep alone that night. Her parents would certainly welcome her with open arms if she said there was a leak in her bathroom or something. She felt like a teenage girl again, wanting her mother's lap to comfort her from her disappointments. And with company around, it would be easier not to think about him all the time...

* * *

On Wednesday, Tomori went to work feeling strangely anxious. That was the day she had come to see as the “garbage day,” when fighters and gym-goers allowed themselves to leave their regulated diets behind and indulge in sweets, fried foods and other high-calorie foods.

The day Okubo used to show up at the Heavy Bakery with Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda.

"If he shows up, it's simple: I'll kick him out, with as many more punches as that masochistic gorilla wants to receive," Kanami growled when Tomori shared that thought with her, after they entered the kitchens.

"But… what about his friends, Kanny? Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda... wouldn't you let them in too?," She asks, a little distressed, to which Kanami looks to the side with an expression of displeasure.

“They didn't do anything, as far as I know. They might even have participated in parts of that Saturday idiocy if they were at a bar waiting for their friend. But there's no way to prove that, so...," She shrugs with a sigh "If they show up, we'll serve them normally. Now if they do anything stupid, like defend that idiot or try to convince you to give him another chance, they'll all become personae non gratae from then on."

Tomori had just nodded, not wanting to extend the subject. After a fun Sunday with friends and a good night's sleep at her parents' house, she started that week feeling a little bit better, even if not completely recovered. She doubted the bruise she'd suffered would heal quickly. And she wouldn't want anything to do with dating, even casually, for a long time to come.

She hadn't heard much from Okubo either since Saturday night, the last time she had seen or spoken to him. He'd sent a few texts on Monday, which she hadn't responded to, and tried to call her on Tuesday, which she hadn't picked up. But even though she was ignoring him, she hated herself that she still couldn't muster up enough courage to block his number. She didn't know what she was waiting for. A grand gesture of regret on his part, perhaps? What difference would it make at this point?

And why would he bother to make a grand gesture anyway? They never had anything, not even something casual...

She'd tried not to think about it too much throughout her shift, focusing on her job and being pleased that, for once, she wasn't making mistakes stemming from her depressed state. At least that hadn't been taken away from her... at least until the moment when she heard the sound of the bell at the bakery's entrance door, and when she looked out the pantry window, she felt her stomach do a somersault when faced with the duo who had just entered.

"Kanny...!," She hisses while moving out of sight of the window, alarmed, flattening her back against the kitchen's tiled wall "It's them!"

Kanami grinds her teeth a little, dropping the spatula she was using to coat a cake with ganache and quickly peeking out the pantry window 

"How many of them?"

"Just- Just two," Tomori risks peeking too, still cowering "Himuro and Kaneda..."

They watch, Tomori distressed, Kanami suspicious, as the two men head to one of the tables near the windows, both talking quietly to each other as they take seats on opposite sides. They look toward the front door, waiting, but no one else enters after them.

Okubo wasn't with them then. Thank God. But it was strange that the blonde one, Rihito, wasn't there too. They look at each other.

"Kanny, do you think…?"

“They won't come all this way to bother you. I don't know them that well, but they seem to have a little more sense than those two gorillas. But during your lunch break...," Kanami frowns "Maybe it's better for you to have lunch inside the kitchen...?"

Tomori closes her mouth, staring at the marble countertop, and then shaking her head 

"I won't stop myself from eating in peace because I might be approached. And like you said, they know better than the other two."

Kanami doesn't seem to approve much, but concedes with a nod.

"Okay. But if they bother you..."

“I'll let you know right away,” Tomori promises, and that seems to be enough to convince the head cook. The two go back to work after that; concentrating on her duties always helped to diffuse some of the tension.

It doesn't take more than ten minutes for Tomoyo to appear at the window, bringing the newcomers' orders on a small sheet of paper, making a sour expression that made the sous chef worried.

"What's wrong? Did they... did they say something?," she asks, and the waitress shakes her head.

"No, they didn't. They placed their orders normally," She then snorts "But even so, I'm only attending to them because it's my job. They have a lot of nerve to show up here after what their friend did to you."

And despite her nervousness, Tomori doesn't resist and opens a tender smile. Tomoyo's grimace intensifies when the older one reaches out of the window, squeezing her right cheek playfully.

"You're so sweet. But it was their friend who messed up, not them. Let's separate the personal from the professional and serve customers properly, Tomoyo."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Stop it, I'm not a kid...," The girl grumbles while taking Tomori's hand away from her face "Anyway, they want a BLT and a katsu sandwich, an espresso and a chocolate milkshake and a small box of sugar cookies."

Tomori nods, trying not to let on that the last item on the order had upset her a bit. Jeez… they really liked her cookies, didn't they? She'd be lying if she said she wasn't happy about it, though.

As it turned out, her lunch break coincided with picking up their orders; fate seemed to be having fun playing those coincidental tricks on her, apparently. She hands the tray to Tomoyo while removing her apron, turning to Kanami and saying, "I'll be back in an hour, Kanny."

"Okay. And if you feel uncomfortable...," The head cook does not complete the sentence, but her stern look says enough. Tomori just nods, picking up her lunchbox as she goes to look for an empty table.

The only vacant table turns out to be the one right in front of Himuro's and Kaneda's. Of course. Just like her luck, right? She approaches with her head down, trying not to make eye contact with either of them, until she hears Tomoyo ask, a little dryly, "Is there something wrong with the order, gentlemen?"

That makes her lift her head, brow furrowing, turning to peer at their table. Himuro and Kaneda stared at their plates with slightly annoyed expressions. But the smaller one managed to smile politely at the waitress anyway.

"Haha, no, everything came right. Thank you, miss..."

Tomoyo still looked a little suspicious, but clearly she wasn't in the mood to extend the subject, so she just nodded and walked away. It's only after making sure she was far enough away that Himuro sighs.

"Damn, everyone always gets confused, but I'm sick of correcting them..."

That makes Tomori pause. Confused with what? Their food? She was sure she had prepared their order correctly. It wasn't possible that she had become so tense as to get confused, or make another mistake...

��Yes, but it's to be expected, considering how we present ourselves,” Kaneda laughs a little, holding the dividers of his robes with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, before picking up the plate where the katsu sandwich was and giving it to Himuro. "Here. Now my BLT, please..."

"There you go. Enjoy it," Himuro imitates him, shaking his head "Perhaps, if you start wearing more casual clothes, this kind of confusion will stop happening."

"Not a chance. Exchanging plates with you is easier," Kaneda laughs softly, and Tomori, finally understanding what had happened, can't resist and chuckles. Who would have thought that someone who dressed as traditionally as Kaneda could have such a western taste in food...

The sound of her laughter had the two men lifting their heads, though. Tomori looks away automatically, embarrassed, but their expressions remain neutral.

"Hello, Miss Uta," Kaneda greets her, and she concluded that it would be very impolite to ignore them.

“Hello…,” She nods. And after a second of awkward silence, she decides to comment, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, "You guys scared me for a second. I thought I had made a mistake with your orders or something, and it would be one more for my quota for the week, hahaha..."

"Nah, everything came just fine. It's just that we find it funny how everyone looks at Kaneda and automatically associates him with the most traditionally Japanese things possible," Himuro points at Kaneda, who smiles and shakes his head.

"If you had grown up in a traditionalist environment where you were barely allowed to buy a Big Mac after school, you would understand my more westernized tastes."

Tomori laughs a little, putting a hand over her mouth. And then she clears her throat, saying sheepishly, "Well, I'll let you eat in peace. I'll be at that table in case you want to give feedback. It always warms the cooks' hearts, hehe."

They nod, and she quickly goes to sit. She wasn't going to eat in a hurry, she knew the harm that could do to her stomach, but she also didn't want to linger there too long, where she could probably hear their conversation...

"... He still hasn't answered?," She hears Kaneda's voice, low, but still audible.

"No. Neither of 'em did. I tried not to, but I'm starting to get worried...," Himuro replies in the same tone.

"At least try calling Rihito..."

"Hell no! He'll keep asking if I'm gay, if I'm in love with him or something..."

"I don't think he's in the mood for that kind of joke, honestly..."

Tomori would love it if covering your ears and starting to hum wasn't considered childish. Damn it, she didn't want to hear that conversation! Perhaps she should have accepted Kanami's suggestion to eat inside the kitchen...

"Yeah, but still. He won't want to talk about it. Neither will Okubo...," She hears Himuro sigh "Wanting a little time just for themselves while they lick their wounds is understandable, but it's been days, dammit!"

"I know. I wish we could schedule a day for all of us to talk, for them to work things out, with the two of us acting as mediators so things don't escalate. But I don't know if things have calmed down since Sunday," She looks over her shoulder, not resisting tha impulse, and sees the top of Kaneda's head move slightly "I just wish I could do something..."

"Me too… the worst part is that, besides being worried, I'm getting pissed, man. When are these two going to quite their whining and face the consequences of what they did and said? It doesn't even seem like we're all grown ass men in our thirties, I swear to... uuh...?," Himuro stops chattering, blinking, while staring at a point above Kaneda's head. The smaller one frowns and turns around, confused, and lock his eyes with Tomori's, who was trying to discreetly peep on them over the back of her seat. She blushes furiously when she sees that she's been caught.

"S-Sorry! I didn't mean to pry, I swear...!," She assures, hiding behind the backrest, looking to the side "It's just that I couldn't help but hear… sorry, I swear I'll leave as soon as I finish eating…"

Himuro and Kaneda looked at each other, seeming to communicate non-verbally, before the latter turned again, opening a gentle smile and sayingl "We understand. You'd certainly want to know, considering everything..."

"He. You must be wanting to ask questions, to find out what happened from the mouth of those who saw it...," Himuro deduces, and Tomori, still looking to the side, nods slowly.

"I mean… not that it's going to make any difference…," She shrugs, uncertain "But it's just… I don't want to go around making accusations, but I can't understand how anyone could have the kind of idea he had and not being stoped by his friends, you know...?"

"We weren't at the bar when it all happened," Kaneda replies after taking a sip of his coffee "I arrived after Okubo left and only found Rihito there."

"And I work at that bar. My shift started at eight that Saturday. Okubo and you showed up there not long after I clocked in," Himuro takes a bite of his sandwich, chewing slowly and swallowing before continuing "By the time Rihito told us what had happened, it was too late for us to do anything. Sorry about that..."

"No need to apologize. No one was to blame for what happened but himself...," Tomori sighs a little. She didn't know what she was expecting to hear from them. Maybe feeling like that chapter was closed and she could turn the page? It was unnerving not to have that satisfaction "But Rihito was there with him, wasn't he? I thought he could at least have done or said something..."

"Rihito was drunk too. He himself says he has trouble remembering everything that happened, so we couldn't get many answers out of him other than confirming that Okubo and he drank together," Kaneda explains "Maybe that's why he didn't show up here today. Hu must be to embarrassed to show his face around here..."

Tomori doubted it a lot. Shame didn't seem to be a feeling that outrageous and inconvenient guy felt very often. She sighs again.

"Maybe. Thank you anyway. As I said, the only one who was responsible for what happened was Mr. Okubo and no one else. So don't feel guilty."

Himuro and Kaneda looked at each other again before the former assured, "Believe me, we don't. But it's still hard to see a friend of ours so down, you know? Walking like he lost the biggest match of his career or something..."

"Come on, Himuro, don't make her feel guilty too," Kaneda warns while Tomori shrinks a little on her seat, a painful twinge hitting her right in the chest "She was the one who got the short end of the stick, after all."

"I know that. I'm not defending Okubo or anything," Himuro assures "I just wanted to explain our position."

"Yeah… that's good," Tomori frowns a little. "I thought you'd come all the way here to intercede for him or something…"

"We do not have that obligation. And neither the right to ask something like that from you," Kaneda says simply "We came because we like the food and the atmosphere here... and also because we kind of promised last week," He opens a slightly embarrassed smile "It's not the best of situations, but since we were still welcome..."

"You are. Believe me, we know how to separate things around here. We know that you are not to blame for anything," She assures, smiling shyly too "You can show up whenever you want. And if you see Nakata- I mean, if you see Rihito, you can tell him he's welcome too, as long as he doesn't insist with this story of wanting numbers from women he doesn't even know, haha."

Both laugh a little, Himuro saying in sequence, "We'll remind him of that when we see him again. But I guess you don't have any message for Okubo, do you?"

"… Not right now," She concludes after thinking a bit, her expression tightening again "I'm still in the recovery phase, so I'd rather not talk about it. But thank you for telling me what you knew. It's more than what he did for me... oh, sorry! I'm not going to speak ill of your friend as if you shared my anger," She shakes her hand a little when the two exchange a somewhat embarrassed look. "You don't have to be angry with him on my behalf..."

"Too late. We already are," That's all Kaneda says, and Himuro reinforces the statement with a brief nod "What he did to you, miss, no one deserves. A true friend does not overlook these things."

That made her smile more. It was nice to feel validated by people who weren't part of her social circle, and who were still close to whoever had wronged her. She just hoped that hearing reprimands from his own friends was enough to open Okubo's eyes, make him realize his mistakes...

"Not that that's my problem, of course."

"Thanks for that. Anyway, tell me what you think of the order! Kanny made the BLT and the milkshake, and I made the katsu sandwich and the espresso. I even tried drawing with foam on its surface, sorry about that, haha."

"Miss Uta, we aren't like Rihito. We don't feel that our masculinity is being threatened when someone does things like that for us," Kaneda laughs again "The sandwich is delicious, and so is the coffee. The foam design turned out great, like the icing drawings you do on your cookies," He indicates the cookie box that was delivered with the rest of the order.

"I also have nothing to complain about my sandwich and milkshake, just like in the other times. But seriously, do you paint by any chance?," Himuro asks her "A person who manages to make drawings like that with icing and coffee foam has to have an artistic streak, in my opinion."

"Thanks! And yes, I paint and illustrate, not just in my culinary work. I even thought about studying visual arts before deciding on gastronomy...," She keeps commenting while eating, and when she realizes it, Kaneda, Himuro and her were talking like old acquaintances who had met by chance. It was good to know that Okubo's presence wasn't necessary for her to be able to blend in with them.

At one point, she saw Kanami discreetly watching her from the pantry window. The head cook makes an inquiring gesture with her hand, and Tomori smiles, discreetly raising a thumb, signaling that everything was fine. And it was. Even better than she would have imagined when those two showed up.

* * *

And it was on Sunday, a week after Kanami kicked Okubo out of the bakery, that this feeling was cemented inside Tomori.

The day had started overcast, which was not unusual during summer. She went to work with an umbrella safely inside her purse, and at the end of the day, the sky was already cloudy enough for her to keep it in her hands, preparing to have to open it at any moment. With luck, she would make it home before the rain came down on her head.

The wind was already picking up when she got off at the train station, the distinctive smell of rain reaching her nostrils and making her quicken her pace. But her haste was only due to the fact that she didn't want to get too wet. She had no plans for that Sunday. Her parents were out of town visiting her paternal grandparents. Her brother and sister-in-law traveled to Hokkaido for a conference. And Kanami and Hiro each had their own commitments; she had a strong suspicion that Kanami's involved a certain ravenous brute with hair that resembled black seaweed, and the thought made her smile sadly. At least one of them was getting lucky in that department.

When she was a block away from home, already hearing the sound of drops hitting the plastic of the umbrella, she took her phone out of her purse, clicking on Akane's contact.

Wolfie:

hey girl

do you have any plans for today?

I'm thinking of baking some cookies here at home 

gotta take advantage of this rainy weather to stay on the couch watching some dumb movies

you comin? It’ll be chocolate chip cookies, your favorite

Panther:

bitch you only remember me when you need a shoulder to cry on don't ya?

LMAO

Wolfie:

LMAO fuck off

I'll never invite you for a bad movie marathon with cookies on the side again u.u

Panther:

good, I'm on a diet lol

no seriously I'd love to but I can't

do you remember Roki, my fuck buddy?

mf showed up outta the blue offering a dick appointment

Wolfie:

girl is this a laundry day for ya?

the fuck you gonna do with a wet blanket smh

Panther: 

Wetter than that blanket is my cunt, bitch LOL

I was gonna tell him to fuck all the way off

but my hornyness got the better outta me

I'm no anaconda to eat and then fast for the next 4 months LMAO

so I'm going on a date with him later, sorry

Wolfie:

it's okay 

you already had plans

go to your dick appointment and have fun

Panther:

I should be the one telling you that honey

you still sad over that stupid gorilla?

you even eating cookies, and I know you're sick of them

girl, fuck that shit

go talk to one of your college mates and ask for a dick appointment too

throw those memories into the trash were they belong

Tomori's smile fades with the last message. Hell, why did Akane have to remind her of her still-wounding heart on that lonely Sunday? She knew her friend just wanted to cheer her up, but at the moment, she wasn't in the mood to even think about dates, nor the uncommitted ones. It was still a very fresh wound…

The drizzle soon increased in volume, gradually becoming a thunderous downpour, and Tomori had to put her phone away to quicken her pace, running while holding the umbrella more firmly above her head. It was a good thing she wasn't far from home, and it was with relief that she turned down the street from her house. The heavy rain made it a little difficult for her to see, closing in like a damp curtain, so from this distance she could only make out outlines. A couple of parked cars, a couple of trees lopped from the neighbors' yards... and a single person on the street. 

That made her frown. What could a person be doing on the street at this hour, in the pouring rain and apparently without an umbrella?

The person seemed to be a bit lost; Tomori saw them wander aimlessly along the sidewalk opposite her house, seeming to be looking for something. They were tall, full-bodied, and she quickly concluded that it was a man. Her wariness meter immediately went off, making her walk even faster, splashing in the water and wetting her shoes. It could have been some drunk, and she had already reached her tolerance quota with them for quite some time. She pulls out her  phone again as she opens the gate, walking quickly to the door as she goes back to typing.

Wolfie:

girl I'm in no mood for dick appointments

that blow hurt like a bitch and I need some time to recover

I'll be off now, it's raining cats and dogs and there's some weirdo walking up and down the street

not gonna stay here to see what he's doing

see ya!

She puts her phone away again, closes her umbrella and takes her keys out of her purse as she stops under the porch, waiting to hear the sound of the gate automatically locking behind her...

"Shit...! Uh- That doesn't count as a home invasion, does it?"

"AAIEEEE!," Tomori squeaks when she hears the male voice, above the sound of rain. Fuck, the weirdo had followed her home! She turns with a snarl, raising her umbrella and slamming it as hard as she could into the intruder's head. "Get away from me! I'll call the police, I'll-"

"OUCH! Fuck, what- wait, stop! Calm down, Miss Uta, it's me!"

She widened her eyes, stopping in the act of lifting the umbrella again as she recognized the voice that squealed, as well as the green eyes wide in fear and the bleached hair being shielded by huge arms that protectively covered the area she had hit.

"What- Rihito?!," She exclaims, putting the umbrella down, but still holding the handle firmly between her fingers "Wait, was that you wandering around in the rain back there?"

Rihito raises his head a little when he realizes that he won't be attacked anymore, at least not for the moment. He was completely soaked, his hair dripping with water, his sodden sweatshirt clinging a little to his muscles. He shudders hard and hugs himself, smiling wanly, his chin trembling a little.

"If- If it looked like a drunk trying to imitate Gene Kelly and failing miserably, then it was- it was me. I - brrr! - I was trying to remember where your house was..."

"For what? What did you come here for anyway?," She demands to know, gesturing a little with the umbrella, and Rihito follows the trajectory of the object with a somewhat alarmed expression.

"I- I- I kinda decided to take Sunday off for a surprise visit! So... surprise...?," He waves his hands in celebration, grinning like a half-desperate idiot. Tomori looks him up and down, stunned. And then she clenches her fists and frowns. If he had bothered to come all the way there...

"Mr. Okubo sent you here, didn't he?"

That makes him widen his eyes even more. He shakes his head quickly, and Tomori blinks irritably as droplets of water fly towards her face. 

"Wha- no! He didn't!"

"Yeah, right," She huffs, nearly dropping her keys and umbrella when her hands shake with indignation "Why else would you've come here? You could've at least gone looking for me at the bakery instead of following me home like a stalker."

"I- I didn't follow you! I kinda just found the street actually..."

"That doesn't change anything! Look, I'm sorry, but you wasted your time, okay? I don't want to hear anything Mr. Okubo told you to tell me," She says decisively, turning her back on him while looking for the right key in the bunch "I'm going to unlock the gate, so you can leave my property now-"

"Miss Uta, wait!", He suddenly exclaims, and Tomori jumps a little when his huge hand hits against the wood of the door, above her head. She turns, startled, wondering if the neighbors would come to her aid if she screamed loud enough...

But the urge to scream wanes when she sees his expression. He was leaning towards her a little, and tall as he was, he seemed at first glance to be trying to intimidate her. But she didn't see any hostility in his face, in his big, expressive eyes. He then says, pleadingly, his voice trembling from the cold:

"I swear, Okubo didn't send me. He doesn't even know I'm here, we haven't spoken since last week. I- I came on my own. I just wanted to talk to you. Please, Miss Uta..."

Tomori wanted to tell him that she wasn't interested. She wanted to send him away, to tell him she would call the police if he continued to bother her…but she couldn't. The way his eyes fluttered, looking almost teary amidst the rainwater that continued to run down his face... it was like staring at a puppy that had lost its mother and wanted to make up for it with the first human that showed it some kindness. Or like staring at a big, frightened child.

This didn’t look at all like the loud, womanizing, somewhat self-centered man, the poster child for the concept of toxic masculinity that she had been getting to know in the last few weeks. And maybe that was why she felt herself letting her guard down a little, against what her common sense dictated.

“This…this isn't about you wanting my friend's number…is it?," she finally asks uncertainly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other in her discomfort. He looks away, straightening up as he scratches the back of his neck.

"Well, it wasn't, but now that you brought that up… just kidding!," He exclaims quickly when she frowns again "Just kidding, I swear that's not why I came. I… uh… I actually wanted to talk about… about last Saturday," He scratches his left arm with his right hand "Himuro and Kaneda… did they show up at the bakery on Wednesday?"

Tomori just nods in confirmation, feeling even more uncomfortable. Of course that was what he wanted to talk about. What else would it be about? She didn't even know if she wanted to hear the excuses he would give to justify his friend's behavior.

"Alright…," Rihito nods too, again rubbing his arms and shuddering "Did they tell you what they knew? Okay…," He swallows hard when Tomori nods again "Then I… I want to tell my side. What I saw and heard on Saturday and... and how that whole thing came about. If- If you want to hear it, I mean."

Tomori ponders for a moment. On one hand, she no longer wanted to dwell on a subject that was still painful. But on the other hand, she was talking to one of the only people who knew in detail what had happened that night and who could fill her in completely, solving all her doubts. She might regret sending him away now.

On Wednesday, she'd figured she'd like closure on this story. That she wished she could finish that chapter and turn the page. This could be the opportunity she had been waiting for. She sighs a little after thinking.

"I... I think you must be cold, don't you?"

"Me? What- No, I've been through way worse! Snow, ice, sun that burn your brains out and much more! A little rain like that is nothing to... yeah, I'm cold," He admits, his teeth chattering, when she didn't seem very impressed. And Tomori ends up not resisting, laughing softly.

"Ahaha, okay… wait here under the porch, I'll bring you a towel. Then we can come in and talk here in the living room.

"Alright! Thanks, Miss Uta... and dammit, Egghead would be pissed if he knew I was going to see the inside of the house of the chick he's into before he even does, hehehe," He gives a high-pitched laugh, and Tomori just rolls her eyes before opening the door and stepping inside.

When she returned, carrying a towel fresh out of the dryer, she found him in the doorway, hugging himself tightly, shivering, his lips a little purple. She immediately went to his aid, guilt taking the place of exasperation.

"Here. I'm sorry I made you wait outside, it's just..."

"It's just that you didn't want me dripping all over your floor, I know…," He nods, picking up the towel and immediately drying his wet hair. "Thanks…," He mutters, his chin trembling a little as he tries to dry the rest of his body. And when concluding that his soaked clothes would not help in this endeavor, he turns hesitantly to her, muttering, "Uh... would it be a problem if I...?"

“If you keep those clothes on,  you're going to get my floors wet, so no, no problem at all. We're all adults here, aren't we? C'mon, you can come in," She makes room for him to pass through the doorway, locking it as soon as he does.

"Excuse me...," Lihito makes a small bow and takes off his shoes, leaving them there by the door. He then lets out a heavy breath through his mouth, handing the towel back to her to remove his soaked sweatshirt as well. Unsurprisingly, he wore nothing underneath, and she chided herself as she quietly admired his muscles. Damn, there was a body that many bodybuilders would envy... and he was even wider than Okubo, who was taller and therefore had a more distributed mass...

And why the fuck was she analyzing that guy's physique like she was a judge in a bodybuilding competition, and all without getting Okubo out of her mind in the process?! Yeah, maybe her libido wasn't as far below zero as she'd thought.

She looked away, but apparently she wasn't fast enough because Rihito had arched an eyebrow in the middle of reaching out for the towel again.

"Hey, lady, I know it's hard for women to contain their instincts when I take off my clothes, but I really don't intend to back-stab my pal-"

"Do you want to go back under that downpour? If you do then just tell me," She grunts, blushing with embarrassment and anger, pointing to the door with her thumb. He widens his eyes and shakes his head vehemently.

"No! I was just joking, trying to lighten up the mood... sorry, but please don't throw me out. Not yet. I really want to talk, to explain some things, and I want to do it in the right way," he raises a hand as if he was making an oath. "I swear I'll behave."

"Hunf... I would apologize for not being able to believe you, but anyway...," She snorts with some sarcasm. And she regrets it a little when he looks away, again looking upset. But dammit, he couldn't blame her for thinking that way! He'd been proving to be the type of man she loathed the most since their first interactions, so he had no one to blame but himself for that. But her good manners spoke louder than her discomfort at the moment, and that made her sigh and continue, in a milder tone, "Look, I don't want to argue either. Just go put those soggy clothes in the dryer. It's in the bathroom upstairs, first door on the left. You can wear one of the robes that are in the laundry basket. But it's going to be small on you, so..."

"Got it. I promise I won't take my underwear off. Jus' kidding!," He exclaims when she gives him a warning look "Excuse me, I'll be right back," And he quickly goes up the stairs, Tomori following him suspiciously. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let him go upstairs alone, she didn't know him well enough to know how far his perversion went. But since seeing his pleading expression outside, she felt like she had nothing to worry about, against all good sense.

When Rihito returns, dry and wearing a robe that was indeed too small for him, she was already making the cookie dough in the kitchen, more to distract herself than anything else. He watches her, leaning against the door frame, looking very out of place.

"Uh… are you expecting someone?," He asks "Since you're baking and all..."

"No. I've just decided I'm in the mood for cookies today. And relax, these aren't the 'sissy' ones," She guarantees, looking at him over her shoulder with an arched eyebrow "They're the American ones, with chocolate chips. Nothing that could defy the sanctity of your manhood."

"... Ouch," He makes a face, then laughs embarrassed "I was already prepared to take some moral beatings when I decided to show up here, but damn, you hit harder than I imagined. Worthy of working in a place that calls itself the 'Heavy Bakery'...

"I told you, you don’t know me," She shrugs, trying to hide how his words had made her smile "Cooks have to be tough, especially women, otherwise we won’t survive in this industry…"

"Yeah, I saw it with my own eyes these days ago," He nods, crossing his arms "With those idiots and stuff… you handled them well before auntie went crazy on 'em.

"Yeah… and before they ganged up on me and almost lynched me, or worse," She comments casually, although the memory still made her stomach feel unpleasantly "I played tough and then needed to be rescued a few hours later..."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't give up without a fight, if that shattered bottle in your hand meant anything," He comments, and when Tomori doesn't resist and looks at him over his shoulder, he smiles. "I think we should expect this from someone who is so fanatical about martial arts… for that and because of all those posters on the walls back there…," He points at the living room over his shoulder, the corners of his mouth twitching, and Tomori puffs out her cheeks a little.

"Hey now, it's rude to judge the hostess's choice of interior design..."

"I wasn't judging! I was just curious because I know some of those guys... you really are a fan of Sekibayashi and Gaolang Wongsawat, huh? There are at least three posters of each of them, while the others only have one...," He comments, and Tomori blows a strand of hair away from her face as she stretches on tiptoe, trying to reach one of the highest cabinets above the counter.

"What, you counted them or something? What is with all this interest? Were you looking for someone specific, by any chance?"

"I was, actually," He admits, hesitating a little. "I could've sworn I’d find at least one poster of Okubo over there..."

She concentrated as hard as she could on trying to reach the topmost cupboard, not wanting to turn to him and let her expression betray her embarrassment, her sadness. Rihito would have found posters of Okubo, if he could somehow go back in time and visit her the week before last. But he wouldn't find them now, after she'd taken them off the walls and tucked them away in a drawer somewhere, so she wouldn't have to look into his face and have to remember the disappointment over and over again...

"Yeah, but you won't. Not after all that," She pants with the effort she was making "I'm not that much of a masochist, y'know."

She hears his heavy footsteps as he approaches her from behind. She hears his voice, which again sounds pleading as he says, “Look, I… I know you're mad at him, and I don't blame you, but... but if you listened to the whole story-"

"I don't need to hear the whole story to know that that was wrong!," She growls over her shoulder "That it was ridiculous, embarrassing and I didn't deserve to have gone through that!"

“Nobody's saying otherwise, Miss Uta. But... what if I told you that it wasn't one hundred percent his fault? What... what if someone else had a hand in what happened?," He made that embarrassed face again, and Tomori was not impressed.

"Please, Rihito, don't give me that shit. It'll look like he's trying to blame everyone but himself, and that you're just enabling him. Who else was to blame?," She rolls her eyes, and that's when she sees his arm, reaching above her head and opening the cabinet for her. She cranes her neck, looking up, finding his green eyes staring back at her, full of embarrassment.

"Me."

"... What?," She blinks. And he swallows loudly, seeming to be trying really hard to keep looking into her eyes.

"I was... I was the one who convinced Okubo to drink, before your date."

Tomori stares at him as if she doesn't quite understand. Rihito finally couldn't bear to hold her gaze any longer, diverting it to the cabinet he had just opened, trying to change the subject by saying, "Uh... so, what- what did you want to get in there anyway? There's a bunch of chocolate chips and sprinkle bags, which one-"

"Wait a minute, what- what did you say?," She turns completely to him, leaving the bowl full of cookie dough aside "You convinced him to drink? What do you mean?"

"Uuh...," He takes two steps back, cringing a little, as if the much smaler woman was in fact intimidating him. He then sighs heavily "Okay, I'll get real with you. That's what I came for anyway... Okubo showed up at that bar where you dropped him off a couple of hours before your date. I wasn't expecting him, I swear we hadn't arranged anything," He assures, waving his hands a little "I even asked what he was doing there, if you had canceled the date or something, but he said that you didn''. He didn't go into detail, but... he 'was very anxious. Like, really nervous, to the point of sweating."

"Nervous? With what?," She inquires, distressed, approaching him in two quick strides "I didn't give him any reason to be nervous! Unless...he- he wasn't regretting asking me out, was he?," She asks, her stomach dropping unpleasantly, and why, why was she caring so much when shit had already hit the fan?!

"No! On the contrary, it was precisely the fear of doing something stupid and disappointing you that made him nervous," Rihito assures, again waving his hands "I really don't know why he got so anxious, he didn't want to go into details, but I I couldn't stand watching him just  bitching and expecting the worst from himself. So I...," He scratches the back of his head "I suggested he drink with me. Y'know? Just a few sips...," He opens a mortified smile, as if wanting to soften the blow. And as one might imagine, he wasn't able to.

“How- how could you suggest such a thing to him?!," She can't help but squeal, astonished, gesticulating nervously "You don't drink before a date, it's basic common sense! And he still went to accept it quickly like this..."

"No, it wasn't like that! He was hesitant at first, he didn't want to drive after drinking and neither that you'd smell booze on him and became mad because of it," Lihito shrinks a little "I was the one who insisted until he gave in. And we both never know when to stop, so... one thing led to another...," He can't finish the thought, very embarrassed and again barely able to look into Tomori's eyes, since she'd gone from pale to red with rage in the blink of an eye.

"If you knew that, why did you insist that he drink? What were you thinking?!," She screeches indignantly, and he blushes.

"Well, I... I kinda wasn't thinking to begin with..."

"But why? What did you intend with that?!," She demands to know, a possibility popping into her mind and making her even angrier "Was it on purpose? You couldn't accept that I rejected you and that's why you decided to sabotage my date? Sabotage your own friend?!"

"No! Honestly, Okubo and you were made for each other, you're both crazy-ass paranoids and- aaargh, no, I didn't come here to argh with you!," He interrupts himself, grabbing his hair and growling in frustration "I would never do such a shitty thing to one of my pals, do you hear me? Never! All I did was try to help! I just wanted him to relax, let go a little and forget about whatever was causing all that anxiety, because with him nervous like that, he could do something stupid that'd screw the whole date up..."

"And that's exactly what happened!," She opens her arms dramatically "He did screw the whole date up! And all because of something he could have discussed with me, if it was really getting to him...," The volume of her voice dies along with her will to continue ranting, her arms hanging limply on either side of her torso, her expression collapsing as her eyes began to sting. Shit, shit, she had thought she was starting to heal, to come to terms with what had happened so she could move on, but her certainties had been abruptly shattered again, courtesy of the overzealous man who was now staring at her in a mix of disbelief, worry and remorse. She shakes her head, sniffling, "I... I don't know what to think anymore, I really don't..."

"Think that he didn't want to do any of that to begin with! This was all my idea, Miss Uta," Rihito touches his own chest, leaning a little towards her, speaking in a hurried, somewhat desperate tone "I told him to drink with me, I insisted when he hesitated, and I couldn't stop him when I saw that he was going to far! I... I just wanted to help, I just... I just wanted things to work out for him, for you two... but I just screwed everything up...," He swallows hard, and Tomori feels her traitorous heart ache to see his devastated expression.

"Rihito..."

"No, please, don't try to comfort me! It's just going to make me feel even shittier," He asks, his voice a bit squeaky "You should be pissed at me, like Okubo was. So please, Miss Uta, if you're going to hate someone, hate me! Not him!," He makes an exaggerated bow, making her start a little "Much of the blame for what happened was mine! If it wasn't for my stupid-ass idea, your date would have worked out, you would still be seeing each other and Okubo wouldn't be pissed at me right now-"

"Wait, wait!," She interrupts him, astonished. "Mr. Okubo… is pissed at you? Because... because of what happened?"

"Well… yeah," He nods, looking up pleadingly at her "He sort of blamed me for what happened. He also accused me of trying to sabotage your date... then I got pissed off, and we ended up fighting. At the time I just wanted to cave his fuckin' face in, make him even uglier than he already is... but now I just keep thinking about how he must be feeling. He was a mess that Sunday. Devastated. He almost cried in front of us..."

Tomori wanted to reply that that wasn't her problem. But the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. She remembered when she heard him arrive at the bakery the day after their disastrous date, she remembered how Kanami said he let himself be punched, the text messages and calls she ignored... and if he wasn't talking to Rihito or to any of his friends in the meantime...

"Himuro and Kaneda... they also said they didn't hear much from him during the week...," She comments hesitantly, and Rihito nods slowly

“Yeah, he- he hasn't called any of us since last Sunday. He had never been like this before, isolating himself like that... and that's why I came here," He again makes that devastated expression that made her heart ache, even bowing even more while asking, "Please, Miss Uta, talk to him! You don't have to forgive him, that was totally unjustified, but at least listen to what he has to say!"

Tomori instinctively places a hand on her chest, taking a step back away from him, conflicting desires making her stomach roil anxiously. She didn't want to see Okubo... at least not until that moment. But now, with the things Rihito had revealed to her, with this new knowledge that he hadn't ruined their date out of sheer negligence on his part...

"... You know you're demanding a lot from the person who was most harmed in this situation, right?," she asks hesitantly, and he nods sheepishly.

"I know, and I'm really sorry for that. But it's just that I can't think of any other way to help that idiot pull himself together. I know he needs this, if only to have some closure and be able to move on. And… I'm sorry if I sound like a cocky ass, but I think you need it too," He faces her again "You want to at least hear his side of the story, don't you? And to be able to tell him how you're feeling too. I don't think either of you will be able to be at peace until you're face to face with each other, talking about what happened."

Tomori wanted to say that he really was being a cocky ass when he said those things, but if she did, she would be lying. She hugs herself, looking down at the kitchen floor.

“I… fuck, I do. I want to better understand what happened and to listen to his explanations, but... but I'm afraid," She admits, closing her eyes tightly "I'm afraid to get my hopes up and then getting hurt all over again, depending on what he tells me..."

"I know, and that's why I'm saying that you don't have to forgive him or anything. But...," He seems to measure his words, considering the time it took until he spoke again "But I don't think that will happen. I'm sure he would do anything to listen to you, understand how you're feeling and find a way to make up for all the shit he's done. Because... I've never seen him like that before, Miss Uta. Not because of a girl..."

“I… yeah, maybe my rejection was the most violent he's ever got,” she says, embarrassed, but shuts up when Rihito shakes his head.

"It's not just that. I had never seen him like that, period. Since you two met, I mean. I had never seen him so fascinated, so determined to do everything he could to impress, win someone over... and I've seen several attempts on his part. Like, a shit ton of 'em. I know that because it's been almost five years since we've been partying together, haha...," He laughs nervously "That we hit on chicks together... that we get rejected together. And we are the type to recover quickly from these rejections. Only this time it's different. This time everything was going to work out, and he... we screwed everything up. After everything he's done, after going to that sugar shack just to see you, after learning how to cook rice balls to surprise you at work, after dragging Himuro, Kaneda and me with him because he wanted someone to reassure him that he was doing everything right... the thought that he destroyed all of this with a single mistake must be tearing him apart. And nothing, none of this would be happening, not even these attempts and this depression, if he didn't really like you. I know that dumbass, Miss Uta," He says, more serious than she's ever seen him since she met him. "So no one else can be as sure of that as I am."

Tomori can only stare at him, feeling her eyes sting. Her more rational side knew better than to cling to his words with such fervor, because he was interceding for his friend and he could say anything to sweeten her up and make her easier to manipulate. But her more sentimental side couldn't see all that malice in those big, expressive, child-like eyes. All she could see was a giant willingness, even an acceptance with the possibility of humiliating himself, all to fix his own mistakes.

And she wondered if Okubo was as willing as he was. She decided she wanted to believe so. As much as that made her vulnerable again, susceptible to being hurt, to being disappointed all over again, she felt like she wanted to take that risk. She felt that she wouldn't be able to stay at peace and accept whatever it was if she didn't talk things through with the one who'd caused all that mess in the first place.

That's the only reason she wanted to see him, she tries to convince herself. Just for closure, nothing else...

"I…," She swallows hard, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I don't know if I can do this now. I don't know if I'm ready to face him yet..."

"It's fine. No pressure," He flashes an anxious smile, and she suspects he was fighting the urge to indeed pressure her "It's complicated stuff, I'm aware. It's just... it's been a week since we've even looked each other in the face. I... I miss him... uuugh!," He puts his right hand over his face, grunting as he blushes "Now I sound like a fucking fag! Okubo's going to owe me big time, I swear...!"

Tomori doesn't resist, letting out a nasal laugh that evolves into a loud snort, quickly covering her mouth as he stares at her, half stunned, half embarrassed. He snorts too, looking away.

"Grunf… I’m not pissed only because it's better to see you laughing than to see you angry or crying."

"Okay, that was very sweet of you," She clears her throat, trying to control her laughter, and then smiles "Look, Rihito… I can't promise you anything about the conversation with Mr. Okubo. I don't even know what will happen when that time comes... but the fact that you convinced me to give him a chance to explain himself already means a lot. You're a nice guy, y’know? More than I imagined."

She expected him to swell up like a balloon at her comment, or to smirk, all full of himself. But what he did was blink, a little dazed, looking delighted with what she'd said, and she wondered how many compliments like that he used to receive to be fascinated as if she'd presented him with gold. Damn, how could he look so cute when making such a face?

"Wow… thanks, Miss Uta," He smiles from ear to ear. "It's really nice to hear that coming from a girl, for a change. And you know what that makes me think?"

"What?"

"That friend of yours certainly deserves the opportunity to go out with such a nice guy, who you yourself recommend!"

Aaand there went the affectionate warmth that had settled in her chest, turning into a physical pain when she rolled her eyes hard. She snorts, turning her back on him, returning her attention to the cookie dough bowl.

"God, I guess I should've expected that. Don't make me want to change my mind, c'mon..."

"Sorry! I- I got carried away, but I swear I'll shut my mouth! Unless...," He looks at the cabinet, smiling shyly at her "Do you still want what's inside that cabinet?"

She glances at him over her shoulder, arching an eyebrow. And then she smiles back.

"I want the chocolate chip bag. The red one. And you? Do you want to eat cookies?"

"Your sissy cookies? Always!"

She laughs again. "Then please help me. They won't bake themselves..."

* * *

The rain only stopped a few hours later, leaving a cool and pleasant breeze to soften the summer heat. The sun was going down in the sky, Rihito's clothes had dried, and with that it was time for him to leave. Tomori escorts him to the gate, unlocking it for him.

"You're not used to automatic gates, are you? I almost called the police and accused you of breaking and entering,” She laughs, and he snorts, blushing a little.

"It wasn't on purpose, dammit! I saw you going through the gate, then I panicked and ran after you. When I saw the gate closing behind me, it was already too late. That can stay just between us, right?," He smiles a litle, adjusting the box he was carrying under his right arm. "But seriously, thanks for giving me the leftover cookies, Miss Uta. It's another thing I'll be able to rub in Egghead's face, the fact that I got a box of cookies from the girl he's into while he had to pay for his, hehehe."

"He had to pay because Kanny would've never let me give bakery products like that, for free, without being sampled. And consider this box a thank you for helping me," She gives him a friendly pat on the arm "Both for helping me with the baking and for helping me decide what I'm going to do."

“Heh, you're welcome. I came here for this. I just thought you'd be a lot more furious with me when you found out...," He comments, and Tomori shakes her head.

“I kinda was. For a moment. But I later concluded that your actions, while stupid, were not malicious. You wanted to help your friend, even if it was in the wrong way. And...," She gets serious. "That doesn't exempt him from blame. He could have refused to drink, but he didn't. It's not right for him to single you out as the only culprit like that."

"Yeah... but he was sad and pissed off at the time. You don't think straight when you're hungover, with your head throbbing from a right hook," He leaves through the gate, turning to her as he sets foot on the sidewalk. "It's nice to see how protective auntie is with her employees. Okubo holds no grudges, I'm sure of that."

"She’s one of my best friends, not just my boss. She really cares about everyone who works there," Tomori assures him with conviction "And even she was taken aback when he let himself be punched…"

“He knew he deserved it. He knew it was the least he could do, after what he'd done. And that's why I think he deserves to be able to at least explain himself. He accepted being pummeled, hoping it would help you feel a little better. A fuckin' simp, am I right?," He asks playfully, to which she shakes her head again, smiling exasperatedly.

“I don't know, but whether it's enough or not is for me to decide. Well... that was fun, Rihito. Thanks for the company," She takes a couple of steps back, waving. "Enjoy your cookies. You've earned them. Your intercession was successful."

He swells with pride again, smiling from ear to ear.

"You can bet I will! And... I'm the one who has to thank you. For not giving up on him that easily. He's right, you're really cute, haha."

Tomori blushes hard, dismissing him with a blunt wave of her arm.

"Oh, you...! Just go away, shoo! You human golden retriever..."

He laughs out loud .

"Okay, okay. See you when the urge to eat baked goods hit. Until then, Miss Uta!"

"See ya…," She waves again, and after returning the gesture, he leaves, walking along the rain-soaked pavement while whistling a happy tune. Apparently the conversation had done them both good. Tomori smiles to herself. She was going to need all that positivity to face what was yet to come.

She turns to go into the house, and as she locks the door behind her, she pulls out her phone and clicks on Akane's contact, who had left a few messages over the past few hours.

Panther:

girl be careful

don’t let he see where your house is

send me a message later so I know you arrived well

Tomori?

girl how can you say these things to me and then fuckin disappear????

do you wanna kill me or something??

now I'm going to stay here, wondering if this weirdo did something to you

Despite her guilt, Tomori can't help but laugh, typing a quick reply.

Wolfie:

girl I'm here

don’t get your tits in a tangle lol

I'm sorry I didn't reply, but you don't have to worry

the weirdo didn't do shit to me

he definitely didn't

And with that cryptic note she closed the phone, sighing. She set it aside while she went to take a bath, delaying the inevitable. Because there was one more contact who deserved to receive a message from her.

NEXT CHAPTER

[hayakawashousewife]

Jump Author Survey -- Tatsuki Fujimoto

From "The Shonen Jump Guide to Making Manga"

What knowledge would have benefited you when starting your manga career?

I was working digitally, so I wish I'd known exactly how big a draft is supposed to be. I did my research on the internet and even trusted the info on Shueisha's official site, but that info turned out to be wrong! What a mess!

What did you do first after deciding to become a manga author (e.g., practicing, strategizing, etc.)? And/or, did you have an efficient way to practice?

Draw real stuff (dessin). Reproducing manga and anime by hand is more like an exercise for people who are already decent at art but need to figure out what good designs look like. So instead, I recommend drawing real people and places.

Also, you should always be thinking about what there is to be gained by drawing one thing or another.

What are you mindful of when revising your own storyboards (either when self-editing or taking advice from editorial)?

When I hit a stumbling block in the plot, I either alter the main character or scrap that bit of the plot entirely.

I understand why people get attached to their work, but if you spend all day every day staring at your own story, you're bound to lose that essential objectivity. Don't fall too in love with anything you do. Kill your darlings.

Is there any way you could have been better prepared before your serialization began?

Minding my health!

What do you bear in mind when creating manga (e.g., personal themes and throughlines)?

I try to create scenes that readers will remember until the day they gasp their dying breaths!

What's your approach to creating strong, memorable characters?

I take inspiration from people who might exist, who do exist, or who I might've seen somewhere! I'm not sure, really!

How should one practice creating those strong characters?

I never have!

How many works/pages did you create leading up to your first real submission? How many works/pages from that first submission until your magazine debut?

Sever or eight different works, I think!

What's your approach to creating manga that's readable?

Keep the text and explanations to a minimum.

How long does it take to create the storyboards for a single nineteen page chapter of manga?

One or two days!

How long does it take you to finish the full draft for a single nineteen-page chapter of manga?

Four to six days!

Beyond creating your storyboards, what do you do to come up with ideas and plot points for your work?

Nothing!

Is there anything you referenced when creating your one-shots?

I watched movies!

[joeys-piano]

A03 2022 Wrapped

Tagged by @flowercrown-bard (let's see what happens)

Works published: 15 oneshots

Word Count: 64,190 - much more than I thought

Hits: 9,673

Bookmarks: 137

Most...

By Kudos: Stumbling Once We Found It (a winter date)

By Hits: Stumbling Once We Found It (my first 2022 fic)

Longest: Damn, You're Reckless (most ambitious work ever)

Shortest: Portrait of an Orange and Two Halves (art vibes)

Most Comment Threads: Damn, You're Reckless

Fic that made me cry: I've had frustrated spats with each fic in one way or another. It's part of the writing love; it's not rainbow and sunshine forever. I think the few times I might've cried is either early in the morning or late at night when I'm working on something and I've yawned.

Fic that made me smile: You Find A Way - I adore this story. It tried to kill me, yet I'm here. It's just a 5+1 with soft cozy vibes about having to go to work but wanting to stay in bed longer with whom/what you love. Fuck, that's me. That's me every day, all day. I just want to stay in bed; I got to live that (vicariously) through writing.

Gifts:

To someone -You'll Make a Fool of Me - gifted to a fantastic dreamling writer whose works got me through a rough writing patch/block/doubt/fuckery earlier this year and reminded me why I enjoy writing when it feels like it's trying to take no prisoners.

From someone: None for 2022. I didn't expect any.

Events: None. I don't have the patience to write something and just sit on it, waiting until I'm allowed to when I know I could post it any time I want. That's the closest form of torture I've experienced and never again. I also don't have the energy to actively participate in events.

Resolutions: Have something you enjoy/look forward to in each writing session. Writing is as hard as you make it AND as fun as you make it - and fuck knows I did some really cool stuff with my writing when I had fun even though I didn't feel like writing. So let's continue that.

Tagging (should you want): @voxofthevoid, @duplicitywrites, @thechaoscryptid, and any other ao3 writers because frankly, i do not follow that many writers so this is an invitation for all and all to do this and feel pride in what they've done and share the stuffs, yeah

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 6

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Maybe it was an attempt to get over him, or maybe it was just from embarrassment, but you'd decided to avoid James. The only problem was, your best friend was making that very, very difficult to do.

wc [4.6k]

all chapters | <- Chapter 5 - Chapter 7 ->

The weekend had ended without excitement, if you don't count kissing your best friend and practically getting rejected by said best friend the next day to be excitement.

As much as you willed it not to, the events of the past two days played in your mind well into Monday, perhaps being the reason why you skipped out on breakfast in the Great Hall and showed up to Defense Against the Dark Arts with hardly a minute to spare before class started.

Your professor this year, Professor Higglebottom, silly as her name was, was the adventurous type and always started class with some hands-on interaction. That's why you all crowded against the walls instead of taking a seat at one of the desks in the front of the room.

You were sandwiched between Marlene and Sirius, the latter you knew was trying to get you to respond to his whispers. You weren't much in the mood for whatever kind of conversation he was trying to spark up, especially not after the one you'd had with him last night that you most definitely did not lose sleep over.

"Alright class," your professor announced. Her bob haircut bounced lightly as she took quick circling steps before your class's waiting eyes. "Let's begin with a quick review of last week's shielding charm. Pair up with a classmate and practice, and no harmful hexes this time, yes?"

With a snicker from across the room, Higglebottom waved her wand and the desks all gracefully swept into organized rows against the far wall, leaving the center of the room open for spell practice.

Within the blink of an eye half the room had begun to shuffle around in search of a partner, and it hit you with a surge in your chest that you and James always paired up in this class. You stayed rooted in your spot against the wall for a second, looking around amongst the chaos. Sure enough, that head of curls and those eyes like honey were on the other side of the room, searching the crowd for someone—for you.

Maybe you weren't exactly thinking in that moment, but you acted before you had time to consider much of anything.

"Hey Alice!" your voice was raised to almost a shout that alarmed even you, and Alice turned to you in surprise.

"Hey," she said, and before she could get another word out you were practically running to her.

"Could we be partners?"

You figured that it might've been the desperate look in your eyes that had her nodding yes, but it didn't matter because at least you didn't have to pair up with James. Facing that awkwardness and ignoring the twinge in your chest whenever you saw him seemed impossible right then.

You walked over to the front left corner of the room with Alice, catching James in your peripheral. He was watching you, you knew he was. It only made avoiding him even more difficult in your heart.

You began practicing with Alice as Higglebottom instructed, though you put up your shielding charm with just a fraction of a second left before Alice's stunning spell would've sent you flying.

"Woah," she said, and you took a second to shake out your arm before preparing for the next round. "You alright?"

"What?" you asked, half listening. "Yeah. Just slow reflexes, I guess. Sorry." She sent another shining blue stream at you from her wand. "Protego!"

This time you blocked it properly, but it didn't leave Alice feeling satisfied.

"It's just," she began, flicking her wand again wordlessly. "Don't you usually partner up with Potter?"

You tried your best to contain any reaction, focusing on saying the spells as instructed. You shrugged. "I don't know, I wouldn't say always."

Alice laughed. "Okay, so ninety-nine out of a hundred times, then." You gave her a look that was half joking half annoyed, and she smiled with a tilt of her and a gesture that said it was your turn to aim some spells her way. You flicked your wand with a wordless spell, and she put up her shield in no time, continuing. "I was just wondering if everything was okay, is all."

"No, yeah, everything's fine." Your shoulders felt tense as you sent out another spell. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, for one thing, he keeps looking over here." As much as you tried not to let her words affect you, the thought of them made your heart race and your forehead crinkle anxiously.

You shook your head busily, lips tight. "Don't know why he would be." That was a lie of course, and you knew it deep in your bones as you said it. You fought the urge to ask her exactly how he was looking at you as you sent another spell her way. "Rictusempra!"

Alice deflected the spell with yet another shield from her wand, and you could feel your focus slipping from you with every exchange between the two of you on the topic. "Maybe he wants to talk to you?" she reasoned, and you chewed on the inside of your cheek.

"I'd rather not." With that, you prepared another spell.

Alice glanced at something somewhere behind you. "Well he's coming this way."

"What?"

You panicked, and your spell shot completely in the wrong direction, aiming diagonally at Higglebottom's desk instead. You cringed as your gust of wind had a stack of papers go flying, falling through the air without any grace.

Everyone in the room stopped their dueling at the commotion, and Higglebottom let out a tiny gasp from her position across the room. You stood there, stunned. But somehow, the most mortifying part of it to you was the sight of James watching it all unfold a few feet away from you, looking like he both wanted to laugh and ask you a thousand questions that you didn't know the answer to.

"Well, that's alright," rang Higglebottom, and you could've ran up and hugged her when she clapped her hands and made everyone go back to practicing spells. That included James, who wandered back over to a smug looking Sirius. She daintily pointed her wand towards the mess and it was cleaned up in a matter of seconds, though your embarrassment lingered deep in the pit of your stomach and refused to leave you.

Your professor had spent the rest of the class going over proper spell-casting stances and dueling strategies, and you'd found that the more you focused on your classes, the less your head seemed to run amuck with thoughts of a certain someone.

You'd spent the rest of rest of the day doing just that, paying attention to your professors' lessons for every class like your life depended on it, and speeding off in between each one.

By the time you made it to Potions you felt like your mind was finally calming down, though the world loved to test your patience. You had to walk straight past James on your way to your seat—the seat that was right in front of his—and he didn't give you the grace of pretending not to see you. His eyes followed you the whole way to your seat, and somehow it felt like you could still feel them lingering on the back of your head as you sat down. You sighed; if he could do you the favor of picking up on your attempt to get over him and just go along with it, your life would be a whole lot easier.

"You alright?"

You turned to see Sebastian sitting in his seat next to you, looking as dashing as ever with his tie undone from the uncharacteristically warm weather that day. The fact hadn't left you that Sebastian was apparently a top prospect for girls in your year looking to find a date.

He looked at you with concern, though his expression was still warm. He was the second person to ask you that that day.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you said back, though the way he looked at you made you feel suddenly insecure. You patted at the back of your hair. "Do I not look it?"

"No, no," came Sebastian quickly, laughing slightly. "You look great. Trust me."

From the way his eyes hovered over you, you felt like both hiding from embarrassment and blushing. You were about to thank him until Slughorn stood up from his desk, tone somewhat more bubbly than usual as he spoke.

"Say, my eager students," he began, and you felt the class collectively sigh from around you. "The air does feel fitting for some friendly competition today, does it not?"

With his statement, the room seemed to perk up from their afternoon drag, though you felt a sense of dread settle into your stomach. The word "competition" said in a room full of Gryffindors and Slytherins was practically a death sentence. Slughorn didn't pay it any mind.

"Each brewing station should prepare a Wound-Cleaning Potion within the hour, and I'll determine the most well-brewed potion by the end of class. The winning group gets five points extra credit."

If the prospect of competition didn't scare you already, the fact that you were never any good at Potions definitely did the job. Sebastian turned to you with an optimistic grin on his face, something casual and confident, all while you felt the exact opposite.

"Don't be so worried," he said, like he could read from your face how you felt already. "We're gonna do great. Half the others can't even talk to each other without ... that happening."

He nodded over to where Sirius and Slytherin Quidditch Captain Marcus Craggy were already arguing, practically shoving each other as they both stood up to get ingredients.

You snorted into your hand. "Maybe you're right."

Between the two of you, you sorted out a plan of action and went to get the ingredients while Sebastian tended to warming the cauldron. If your staying-hyper-focused strategy went according to plan, you had confidence that with Sebastian's Potions skills you could actually do well.

You measured out the proper amount of the necessary ingredients, taking what you needed from the stacks of shelves aligning the classroom wall. You handed off the jar of dandelion root to a girl next to you before turning around, but that was when you turned right into a body.

You looked up. It was James—of course it was. You knew for a fact you did a horrible job at hiding your alarm, but were still in your ignore-your-feelings-and-focus-on-school mood so you didn't think twice before awkwardly avoiding looking into his eyes.

"Sorry," you said quickly. You briefly smiled at him, though you were sure you looked anything but casual.

"It's okay-" he began, his voice fading away as you rushed past him within a second.

You felt horrible.

Focus, focus, focus. When you returned back to your table and a waiting Sebastian, you did just that.

He naturally took the lead, since you didn't know the first thing about brewing a Wound-Cleaning Potion, but he was surprisingly understanding and explained each step in a way that made more sense than anything Slughorn had ever said. There weren't even any of the usual slip-ups that happen when you brew a potion yourself, though you couldn't say the same for the groups around you.

About halfway through class you peaked over to where Sirius and Marcus Craggy were working and saw the monstrosity that was their cauldron bubbling over the surface, a swampy green that most certainly was not the right color.

You heard a mousy laugh come from behind them, Peter giggling at the sight of his friend's failure. Within a second his own partner yelled his name, and with a terrified look he focused back on his own potion. It was safe to say your group was working better than any of your friends'.

In no time you were all finishing up your potions and Slughorn had begun coming around to review them, hands tucked behind his back like a true judge.

The first cauldron he'd surveyed belonged to Frank Longbottom and a red-haired Slytherin girl who you knew Alice was uneasy over. And, now that you got a good look at her, you could see she was the same girl you heard whispering about you and James's supposed broom closet snogging. So maybe the slight amusement you felt when Slughorn looked at her and Frank's cauldron and immediately grimaced wasn't completely impersonal.

He did the same to a few other groups, granting some an impressed nod until he finally reached your table. He gave Sebastian an enthusiastic and familiar smile, and nodded at you without any particular warmth, which you ignored.

The two of you stepped back and watched as Slughorn leaned over the side of the cauldron, peering it into it wordlessly. Sebastian glanced at you from the corner of his eye with a curious look and you fought a smile.

When you turned back to your potion, Slughorn's face was lit up satisfactorily. He clapped his hands together. "Splendid! Absolutely splendid."

You felt like you were hearing wrong, like words as positive as those could've never come from Slughorn in regards to you, but sure enough, he was talking directly to you. You were definitely sure you were dreaming then.

"Say, I believe we may have found our winners!"

Your jaw was hanging then, and Sebastian was beaming proudly. You were about to turn to him and celebrate, when a Gryffindor boy at a table in the corner of the room shouted out in protest.

"You didn't even look at the last three groups!"

Slughorn turned to him at first in alarm, but then his expression then morphed into a tightlipped smile you could tell was meant to be sympathetic. "I'm sorry dear boy, but I can see from here they're all the wrong color." He scanned the row of cauldrons behind you. "I can also smell them."

The room chuckled at that, and Slughorn turned back to you and Sebastian unbothered and cheerful.

"I expected nothing less from one of my star students, yes?" He shook Sebastian's hand firmly like he was an old family friend, and then, to your surprise, held out his hand to you too. You took it, feeling suspicious of how well this was going. "Very impressive work today." He smiled at you more authentically then you'd ever seen him smile at you, and you felt like bursting from happiness, though you watered it down to a prompt "Thank you."

"You two pat yourselves on the back," said Slughorn, regarding you both one last time before taking his leave.

You turned slowly to Sebastian, sporting the biggest smile you'd worn in days. The groups that weren't as upset over the loss clapped lightly from around the room, and you were so happy you could've literally jumped for joy.

"We did it!" You looked at Sebastian, and he was grinning down at you with a smile that met his eyes, looking half like he wanted to laugh at your overexcitement. You were so happy you even ran up and hugged him, not exactly thinking before you did it but it didn't matter because he hugged you back, chuckling.

Right before you went to pull away, you heard a bubbling noise coming from next to you. It grew, rumbling and groaning, and not a second more went by before the potion behind yours splattered all over.

You both stepped only slightly back before the mess reached you. You were lucky you were standing where you were, because most of the potion got on Sebastian instead. That didn't change the fact that it made an absolute mess.

"Goodness!" Slughorn shouted, and you stepped away from Sebastian right away, scanning over the mess the cauldron had made. A blue-gray goo covered the left half of his shirt, not an insane mess but still a concerning amount of slimy potion to be covered in.

You turned to the table who'd been sitting behind you, and realized with a sense of both dread and annoyance that it had been James's cauldron to explode.

You looked at him in dismay as he stood there, backed away from the table like the explosion had come completely as a surprise to him. But, judging from the way he took in Sebastian's appearance without so much as a grimace, it very well could've been just the opposite.

James's table partner, the Slytherin boy on the smaller side, looked beyond mortified. "Oh Merlin," he began, arms outstretched towards Sebastian. "We're so sorry, I don't know what happened, I-"

"Now, now," Slughorn interrupted, moving swiftly over to where the mess was. With a face that showed he was trying very hard not to react, he pulled out his wand and muttered a spell that cleaned up the mess from the desks and floor, and another one for Sebastian's shirt.

"That should take care of the mess, though I do recommend you pay Madam Pomfrey a visit, Sebastian. The possible side effects of an improperly-brewed potion are quite impossible to determine externally." He patted Sebastian on the back, who looked not angry but dazed, if anything, and turned to James and his partner. "And as for you two, pay better mind for what ingredients you're using. Next time, I won't be so kind about cleaning up for you."

They both nodded obediently, James wearing the placating face he always did when confronted by a teacher, and staring down at his feet. Was he ashamed? Hiding laughter? You couldn't tell, but certainly had suspicions, knowing his dislike of Sebastian for some unidentifiable reason.

Slughorn dismissed the class, and Sebastian gathered his things to go to what you assumed would be the nurse's office.

"Let me go with you," you said.

He turned to you in surprise, shrugging his bag over his shoulder. "Oh, don't worry about it."

"It's no problem, really." You smiled at him assuredly and he let in, waiting for you to get your things and walk with him out of the classroom. "Are you okay?" you asked once you turned the corner. "The color of that potion was definitely concerning."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. Or at least, I feel okay."

"Good."

The two of you walked in silence for a moment, and you let your thoughts drift to the class you'd just finished, and how amazing and odd it felt to get a handshake from Slughorn. Soon you found a smile creeping into your cheeks.

"Are you laughing at me?"

You escaped your daydreaming, whipping your head to Sebastian who was looking at you with a disbelieving smile of his own. "What? No! Of course not," you assured him, shaking your head rapidly. "I'm just really happy our potion did so well."

"Yeah, me too."

"I mean seriously, I don't think I've ever smiled so much in a Potions class. Or that Slughorn's ever said anything that nice to me." And you meant it. Visions of nights spent practically crying over a bad potions grade flashed through your mind.

"Well," Sebastian began, eyes looking down at yours with fondness. "You deserve it."

You looked back at him, feeling like he really meant those words. A kind of odd feeling simmered in your chest, but it was warm and you invited it as you kept walking beside him.

"Hey," he began again after a beat, shifting his attention fully to you. "I've been meaning to ask you something-"

"Can we talk?"

Both of you stopped as you reached the staircase at the end of the hall and, somehow, there stood James. He was looking at you with an intention behind his eyes that flickered over you like he hadn't noticed Sebastian was with you at all.

You frowned at him, eyes glancing between both he and Sebastian in both shyness and irritation. "You know, I'm kind of in the middle of something-"

"It's an emergency." James leaned closer, eyes wide. "About the you know what."

You did not 'know what,' but James didn't seem to pick up on that. Your confusion only extended the interaction and had Sebastian stepping away.

"It's okay," he said to you with a neutral tug of his lips. "I'll talk to you later." Before you could tell him it was fine, that you wanted to hear what he had to ask you, he'd smiled and turned to climbed up the steps, leaving you alone with James.

You turned fully to face him, your irritation masking whatever nervousness you felt at finally looking him in the eyes. "What kind of 'emergency' was so important that you had to interrupt my conversation with-"

"Sebastian Vance. I know." He said his name like it was a chore, and it only had your forehead creasing even more. "There's, um, a problem with the prank."

"Really?" you deadpanned, staring at him blankly. "That was the emergency that couldn't wait?"

"You haven't let me finish," argued James defensively.

"Okay," you added, tone impatient as you motioned for him to continue.

"Wormtail lost the list of passcodes to the Slytherin common room." He ended his sentence as if there was more that he wanted to say, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"And?"

"And ... we were wondering if you could find a way to get them from Vance."

"What?!" you shouted, lowering your voice when you realized how loud you were being. "No, have you gone mad?"

"Oh, come on," James said, tone much too lax for your liking.

"You really expect me to trick my friend into letting us prank him?"

James let out a huff that sounded like a scoff, raising his brows at you. "Oh really? He's your friend now?"

"Yeah, he is." You crossed your arms, staring at him disbelievingly. "Is there a problem?"

"No, no problem." James shoved his hands in his trouser pockets, peering somewhere down below and not at you. "Just didn't know you guys were so close, is all."

Something about the way he spoke was infuriating you, tone casual but clearly masking judgement, as if he had any kind of control over who you could and couldn't speak to.

You scoffed. "Why are you being so weird about this?"

"I'm not."

"Really?" you deadpanned. "You interrupted my conversation with him when I was trying to walk him to the nurse after your potion exploded all over him, right after we won-"

"You don't really think I did that on purpose, do you?"

"I don't know!" you shouted. "With your house rivalry, and the way you lot are so obsessed with pranking people-"

"'You lot'?"

You stopped, realizing how much this was escalating when you really didn't want it to be. You pressed a hand to your forehead. "Sorry that's... that's not fair." You shook your head, as if doing that would rid you of the mess that was your mind right then. You hated arguing with James. "I'm just annoyed right now, is all."

"Yeah," James said with a nod, voice quieted. "Look," he breathed. "I'm sorry I interrupted you. And I really didn't mean for my potion to go exploding all over the place. I don't know what happened. I guess I was just ... distracted, or something, when we were brewing it. I'm sorry."

You let your eyes scan over his face, noting that he truly did look sorry. Something churned in your gut, something that you filed away as uninportant in that moment. "It's alright," you sighed.  "Although, it's not really me you should be apologizing to."

It took him a second before he caught what you were referring to, him realizing with a look to the side and a half-laugh. "Yeah right."

"James." You gave him a warning look, and he raised his hands in surrender.

"Alright. I'll apologize to him."

You uncrossed your arms, feeling a bit better. "Thank you."

He tipped his head in acknowledgment, and you stood there for a moment debating if there was anything more to be said, knowing in the back of your mind that there certainly was, but you took a step up the stairs anyway.

"Wait." James took a light hold on your wrist that seemed to burn right through the skin, the contact making you feel unstable on the steps. "That's ... that's not all I wanted to talk to you about."

You stilled, glancing over his unsure expression. "Oh, okay." You waited for him to say something, but he stayed silent, out of character for him. He didn't meet your eyes as he thought, throat bobbing. "James?"

"Are we okay?"

He looked up and into your eyes then, the motion striking you as you were more level with him now from your stance on the step.

You felt your heart rate pick up. "What?"

He drew his hand away finally to run it uneasily through his curls. "I just feel like you're ..." He trailed off, voice going soft.

"Like I'm what?"Slightly heartbroken? Avoiding you? You knew exactly what he meant, of course, and it was eating away at you to lie straight to him.

"It's nothing." He waved a hand, though you could sense his seriousness in the tenseness of his stance and the darting of his eyes. "I just wanna make sure everything's alright between us."

You nodded because you felt the same way, though you knew the answer. "Yeah, I get that."

He looked expectantly at you, eyes intent but not prying. "So, is it?"

A beat went by before you could answer, your throat going dry with the effort of your lie. "Yeah," you assured him. "Of course."

He seemed to visibly relax, and the way his features softened made your shoulders sink. "Good. Great."

Were you a bad person for this? Maybe. Probably. But avoiding him had felt like best coarse of action and the only way to get by, at least for the time being. You knew, or hoped, that eventually things would go back to normal. Or rather, the 'normal' that existed before you ever had feelings for James, if that even really existed.

He offered you a smile of his pink lips that eased your thoughts even if only for a moment. Then, he leaned in and hugged you, and you felt like melting for too many reasons. You were at a height that let one of his curls brush against your cheek just like it did the night you kissed him—ignore, ignore, ignore—only, you weren't sure how much longer you could keep doing that.

If you weren't going to avoid James all together anymore, than you'd have to just avoid certain situations; situations like this, where you could feel the rise and fall of his chest against your own, something dizzying yet comforting in a way that made you want to hide in your dorm.

You pulled away, reminding yourself that hugging him was the last thing you should be doing, and turned towards the steps again. "Let's go find the guys, figure out all this prank business."

"Good idea," James said, who followed you up the stairs without missing a beat. You hadn't reached the top step before he froze, ending up a few steps behind you.

"Crap," he cursed.

You frowned down at him. "What's the matter?"

"I just remembered that I booked the Quidditch pitch for this time."

Your jaw dropped for a second, lips curling up at the stupefied look on his face. You waved your hand towards the top of the steps. "Well then, go! Hurry!"

James's face set in with a hilariously determined expression and he set off up the steps in a jumble of robes mixed with his bag hanging limply off his shoulder. He passed you with ease, zooming off down the hallway.

"See you!" he called. He turned over his shoulder with a grin before disappearing around the corner, and your heart hurt at how easily laughter came to you around him. Because he's your best friend.

You reminded yourself of that fact with a small but stern nod, probably looking like you'd lost your mind standing alone in that hallway. It didn't matter, because you were going to keep those thoughts out of your mind from then on, and that was the end of that. Or, at least that was what you told yourself all the way back to the common room.

taglist!!

@hisparentsgallerryy @msmk11

[lyjikyu]

　　MY PRECIOUS SECRET。 ★ 박지훈

✧.. . grammar & spelling errors! | fluff | strangers to friends | word count: 1k+ | repetitive words ? | mentions of artist!reader | kinda a soulmate!au?

playing.. . ❍ somewhere only we know by keane ( chevy cover )

you had been staying here on your aunt and uncle's house on the countryside for almost a week now. so far, its been nice and normal. you definitely found comfort and peace with the non-busy atmosphere here and recovered from your art block, that you had been suffering with for about months now. you had been sketching this mansion that was a few walks away from the house you were staying in. it had this big lake that stopped you from going near the mansion, but that didn't stop you from seeing it everyday. somehow, the mansion gave you this sense of familiarity. as if you've seen it in your dreams before. .

tonight you were going on a nightly stroll like usual. this had become your routine, surprisingly. as you continue to walk, you take a glimpse of the mansion and, weirdly, it looked like there were people, which intrigued you. you rush down the steps down to the shore of the lake as you try to take a closer look of the mansion, you trip from the rock you hadn't seen but someone grabs your wrist preventing you from hitting the ground. "woah there, careful" the person lets out a soft chuckle as you redo your position-turning around to meet their eye.

"t..thank you" the person smiles but you get distracted by their outfit. they were wearing a black suit and their hair was styled in a very neat way. Is he supposed to be at a party? you think. and the person might've sensed your curiosity, for they let out a chuckle before speaking. "I'm sure you've seen than mansion a couple of times before." he turns to look at the mansion, his hands clasped behind his back in a very courteous way. noticing that you got distracted, you step close to his side nodding your head swiftly. "I live there, with my parents. though, their not home a lot because of work. so I'm left with our maids mostly. I also have an older brother but, he doesn't live with us anymore. anyways, speaking of my parents, their actually home right now and they've hosted a party. which explains my whole getup. but I wanted to take some fresh air so I went out."

you nod your head, humming as you process this new knowledge. "I'm jihoon by the way. you are?" he smiles once again as he extends his hand to you offering a handshake, you stare at him and at his hand feeling a little surprised but you take it either way as you introduce yourself. "I'm y/n nice to meet you jihoon. I actually have been admiring your house since I got here. and I'm sorry if this seems a bit unusual, but I'm an artist and sketching your house helped me with my art block." jihoon's mouth agape slightly as he feels astonished by the sudden revelation.

"that's.... wonderful y/n! I'm glad it helped you. and I heard you say you were an artist?" you nod your head once again. "that's lovely, if you don't mind do you want me to take you somewhere you might like?" you pause as you think deeply about his proposal. you just met him and he's already taking you somewhere you don't know? was it safe to say yes? your trust issues say no but your gut feelings say give him a chance. you glance back at him as he gives you a genuine smile. you really didn't get any creepy vibes from him, maybe you should agree but not let your guard down just incase. "sure, where is this?"

"its not that far away actually. also you don't have to force yourself if you do feel unsure." it was kind of weird that everything he has said this past few minutes linked with how you were feeling. but then maybe it was just coincidence. as you reassure him that it was okay with you, he tells you to follow him and you do so. he takes the route you usually take to go back to your house but he takes a turn and you start to faintly see an entrance. "this is the entrance to the mansion by the way. that one by the lake, that people usually see, is the back." you let out an oh as your mind takes in another knowledge. he sure does live a great life you tell yourself as you look at this marvel of an architecture. but it was later on cut off when you bump on to jihoon's back. you were about to ask why he suddenly paused but he pulls you with him to run at the side of the mansion.

"sorry about that, I had to take a look if people were here." he says, never letting go of your hand, as he walks you to a garden. "here we are! its a nice place isn't it? very cliche to take you here but when I heard you were an artist, I just had this urge to show you our garden. since I believe its the most glorious part of our place. feel free to look around." you thank him for letting you explore the place, since it was indeed beautiful to look at. and you continued to silently venture the place for a few hours, with jihoon telling you facts about the flowers and plants you felt curious with.

"y/n do you know why I'm careful of anybody noticing you?" you stare up at him as you let go of the flower you were holding. "no, I actually don't." you stand up intrigued of what he was about to say. "I have always lived a life of isolation. I didn't make a lot of friends as I was home schooled. It was only when I turned 14 that I started to sneak out of my room, when everyone was asleep, that I got to wander the world outside this mansion."

"so you, y/n, are my precious secret."

"I haven't told anyone about you, and I wont. because if someone finds out, they'll only spoil it." he pauses as he sits down at the edge of the fountain before looking up at you.

"please, promise me. that we'll remain a secret." you continue to stare at him for a few seconds before smiling slightly.

"sure, it'll be our secret."

you didn't know what you were getting into, but you knew you were about to let jihoon enjoy the life he's been wanting for a long time.

𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘: inspired by one of the scenes from when marnie was there! that anime really became my comfort <//3 anyways, I know I said I was going on a slight inactivity but I really just enjoyed writing this one ><. I love you all have a nice time c:

TREASURE MASTERLIST

[eunjidrabbles]

Ok so Sua might've also captured my heart 👉👈 May I request another scenario but this time with her? Also 8th member reader. Sua in Boca era was just absolutely e t h e r e a l (ngl she always looks ethereal) so maybe the girls are also in like another show or just a vlive and reader cant help but stare at Sua bc 🥰😍💞 she gets called out and goes "i'm admiring art" or smthing smoother than that djebdksn then Sua gets flustered? Thanks again for your time, feel free to change anything ✌

Attraction

(Honestly Sua is soft af even though she puts on this tough and loud act. I didn’t exactly write this in Boca era because I kinda wanna bring a bit more comedy so who better to add than Savage Handong? Anyways, this is in reference to that one Handong and Sua Vlive. This was a really short and fun (Get it? Since Bora is short and fun?) one to write tbh hence ya’ll are getting this early even though I said I was gonna be resting.

Edit: I love the fact that the few requests that I got are just chances for me to throw pickup lines and be as cheesy as I want to be.)

Word count: About 1.2k

-

Huffing loudly in frustration, you held your head in your hand and let out a long whine only to cut it off when you catch a head turn sharply to face you from the corner of your eye. Looking up and away from your homework to meet the other’s gaze, you gave a sheepish smile and mouthed out a sorry before going back to your notes. “What was that?” You hear a hum before a hand gestured for you to sit next to her. “That... is our cute (y/n)!” Pouting when you realized that you have to make an appearance, you picked up your notes and sat next to Handong as the camera was turned to you. Winking as you gave a little two fingered salute, you gave a quick greeting to the fans watching the live. Now with another person in the live, Handong easily kept the flow of the vlive by bothering you with questions until you pouted to her and gave a soft shove. “Unnie! I’m trying to finish my homework, you promised that you would help me with it too!” Whining yet again, you laid your head on Handong’s arm and looked to the camera again to entertain the chat. “Somnias, Korean language is really hard.” Picking up your open notebook, you covered your face with it fully knowing Handong was staring at you and your antics, silently judging.

Hearing the door open, you jolt up and turned to the door in fear that it was your manager coming in to reprimand you for your lax posture while your notebook slid off your face and onto the ground. Seeing a familiar face, you relaxed and bent down to pick up your book while the figure made her way into the room, closing the door behind her. Seeing the confused look on Bora’s face, Handong chuckled as the other girl greeted the stream. You set your book back on the table before focusing on what the other two women were talking about.

“I was studying.”

“Upstairs?”

“Yeah, upstairs.”

Picking up your pen, you directed your attention back to your work and begin working on it taking advantage that there is one more added member to entertain the audience. Every now and again, you would give quick glances to Bora who while talking, rested a free hand on your shoulder. Feeling more pressure on your shoulder as the woman leaned down a little to come into view of the camera, you turned your attention away from your work to look at Bora as she laughed.

“Ah, I look like a thief.” Hearing Bora whine right next to you, you casually turned back to your work and chipped in on her comment. “Unnie, I think you are one.” There was a pause of silence before Bora’s voice rang out loudly in the small room and both you and Handong flinched from the volume. “What?!”

Daringly turning and looking at Bora right in the eye, you winked. “You stole my heart, unnie.” There was an awkward silence as you feel both your elder’s eyes staring right at you while you held your breath and gave the camera another wink. A shrill screech started right next to your ear as you flinched once again and tried to escape while Bora started laughing and shaking you in your seat to cover her embarrassment from being flustered by your sudden pickup line. Hiding behind her books and avoiding the camera from seeing her face that was slowly turning red, she started playfully hitting your arms and back. Fully knowing that Handong was just sitting and watching the whole scene happen, you pretend to try crawl into her lap to run away and as expected, Bora followed you and pulled the Chinese woman into her hug.

Relaxing only after the eldest released both of you, you slinked back into your seat and attempted once again to try to answer the questions on your homework. You knew what it meant when you were called by Handong into the livestream while you were doing your homework but this was a nice distraction to get your mind off the confusing assignments. Halfheartedly rereading through the same question over and over again, your attention was directed towards Bora whenever she talks. It got to the point where you were just staring at Bora as she animatedly converses with Handong, and the comments were starting to fill up about the fact that you were strangely silent and just observing. When Handong turned back to read the comments, she flicked her gaze onto you before voicing it out teasingly. Unaware of it, both Bora and you started looking between one another, Handong and the camera.

Opening and closing your mouth, you tried to find an excuse for your staring but the truth was the only reason to speak your mind. “Dongie unnie is right, you look beautiful. I’m just merely admiring art.” Confidently, you looked Bora in her widened eyes once again with a little smirk this time and shrugged. Raising both her eyebrows while her mouth hung open, Handong blanched at the scene before her, silently wondering what she did in life to have to be put through playing third wheel in the little games you played. Handong’s reaction was expected to you, but what you didn’t expect was narrowly dodging a book to your face and taking the hit with your shoulder.

“You’re being weird!” Bora’s shout was the only warning you got to raise your hands to block before a rain of hits of the book came down upon you. Flinching, chuckling and letting out a series of “ow!” whenever a hit landed, you shoved yourself out of the chair to dodge her wrath. There was a standoff moment but the second you saw Bora take a menacing step towards you, you playfully screamed and started running out of frame and towards the door. Taking a risk to stop and turn behind you, there was only a short few seconds where you caught Handong staring judgingly towards you before Bora came barreling into you. Reaching blindly behind you to open the door as the woman continued to land her hits, a loud yelp escaped both of you as the door opened and gave way, causing you to fall backwards and Bora to fall onto you.

Sighing as the both of you let out another series of yells and laughter, Handong shook her head and gave her attention back to the livestream. It was to be expected, when an unstoppable force like Bora came into contact with yet another unstoppable force like you. In fact Handong believed that the dynamics that you both have, pushed one another along to go faster, further and longer. It wasn’t bad per say, but for someone that valued her peace, having the both of your together would just end in her having a headache. Speaking of which, she could feel the beginning of the ache starting at the back of her head as she was reading out a comment and was interrupted by shouts from outside the room. After it happened a few times, Handong decided that it was enough of an attempt for today and would probably do everyone good, specifically their managers if she went to break you two apart before you get another noise complaint.

As the chinese woman was giving her goodbye greetings, yet another shrill shriek echoed in the background as she sighed once again and glared out the open door. “Really... these two.”

[serendipitous-magic]

You might've talked about this already, but any tips for writer's block???

(Disclaimer: many of these are paraphrased from writing advice I've seen and liked myself, but can't for the life of me remember where I saw it or who said it.)

1) For existing stories: have a plan. Even if you’re someone who doesn’t like planning stories, have the most basic of skeleton plans. You don’t have to come up with the whole plan at once, and you don’t have to plan every little detail. But when you think of a plot point or scene or detail or whatever that you want to use later in the story, jot it down. Don’t count on yourself to remember it. You won’t.

And if you’re a person that hates planning stories, don’t think of it as a plan. Just think of it as saving the ideas you want to use later.

-_-

2) Write down your daydreams.

No, seriously. One of my biggest challenges in writing is that when I’m trying too hard, nothing happens. My best ideas happen when my brain is just playing, not even writing, just like... Going off on intangible adventures while I wash the dishes and listen to music. I’ll surface from some complicated daydream about a band of cowboys staging a horseback rescue mission for a friend being held prisoner on a moving locomotive, ending with the horse leaping over a narrow canyon Spirit style, and suddenly I’m like “wait, shit, this is good.” This applies for individual scenes, but also plot - the same thing often happens (to me at least) for larger plot points. I’ll be happily daydreaming a scene and suddenly one of the characters tearfully says, “I expected this from the others. I did. But from you? My own brother?” And I’m like WHOA WAIT, THEY’RE SIBLINGS? PLOT TWIST! And like... sometimes that shit makes it into the actual story I’m writing (or I write it down and save it for a future story) and becomes a major part of the plot, lol.

Point being, the things you come up with when you’re not even trying - when you’re just having fun, fucking around in the fandom or in whatever various universes you’ve created in your brain (anyone else? No? Just me?) - those effortless ideas are often some of the best ones. Because of how human brains work, it can be really, really hard to force yourself to make something good.

So if you’re just happily daydreaming, and you find yourself thinking, “Damn, this is actually pretty good,” write it down. You might be able to use it later.

-_-

3) If you’re in the middle of a story / scene and you get hit with writers’ block, or you find yourself rewriting the same sentence or paragraph or page over and over, or simply feel unable to continue forward - your problem is not that sentence / paragraph / page, it’s several sentences / paragraphs / pages back.

For example: if you can’t seem to figure out what a character should say next, first try the usual thing and plan ahead. Where does this conversation need to go? What needs to be revealed? What emotional beats need to occur? What information needs to pass from character to character? Does it need to continue? Maybe you just need to cut the scene or have the next plot point happen there.

But if none of that (the “usual stuff”) is working, don’t look ahead, look back. Your problem is probably actually a few lines ago. The conversation meandered too far from what it was supposed to be, or the conversation could have been three lines and it just kept going on for two pages after the plot point ended, or you’re not sure what the emotional beats of the scene are supposed to be so you’re floundering.

When trying to move forward isn’t working, look back instead. Mid-story writers’ block is often a sign that something went awry a little while ago, and you’re seeing the symptoms now. The stubborn paragraph is the check-engine light, not the engine itself. Go back and read over the last page (or more, depending on how big the issue is) and see if you can feel out what the issue is. Did the plot point end two or three pages ago and you just never stopped the scene? Are you relying too much on action and dialogue but forgot to describe the scene as it goes on, so it’s all happening in kind of a vague gray void? Did you get into a rut of repetitive sentence structure because you lost the flow a while ago, and now you’re just cranking out words mechanically?

-_-

4) Don’t be afraid to write “stupid version:” at the top of the page and just go for it, in the most cheesy, over-the-top, bad, obvious, flat, boring, illogical, improbable, unbelievable way. Or whatever way ends up coming out of you. You can go back and fix it once you’ve found the ideas you want to hold onto. Remember, “the first draft (whether that’s for the entire story, or just a draft of a single scene, or a single page, or a single paragraph) is for making it exist. The second draft is for making it functional. The third draft is for making it effective.” (I’m paraphrasing and I don’t remember where that quote came from, I’m sorry.)

-_-

5) If you’re having writers’ block on in coming up with new ideas, here are some things that work for me:

-Write down your daydreams (see above)

-Listen to music. Soundtracks and video game music are great because they’re designed to support a narrative, and to almost tell a story of their own. But, like, any music. I often end up making little “trailers” in my head when I listen to songs I’m currently taken with, and sometimes I’m like “Hey those could be some good elements for an actual story.”

-Look back at old notes for story ideas, if you keep any

-Or, look through any medium you use to save ideas - playlists, pinterest boards, art, whatever.

-Consume other content. I know that’s old advice that literally everyone gives, but hey, it works. You’re great and your brain is great, but you are not a closed ecosystem. You can’t just keep creating, growing, thriving all on your own without taking in and integrating other people’s ideas. Read something. Watch something. Read fanfic, see what the fandom’s up to. Reintroduce yourself to an old favorite with new eyes, or seek out something you’ve never seen before. Watch one of those old classic black and white movies that you never got around to watching. Read a book in a genre you don’t usually read. Find a terrible, I mean truly awful show and watch it with someone you can laugh with. Look at art. Ask the people in your life about their passions and their weird little cornerstones of knowledge.

-Give yourself time. Let yourself percolate. Let yourself think.

-Write yourself into an idea. Open up that dreaded blank page, switch to red ink, and just start typing like “Okay so it’s a werewolf story I think but not one of those pulp romances with the Alpha Wolf or whatever shit, I think I like the idea that it’s about the pack dynamic, so like a family story? But maybe the main character is a human. Do they get adopted by the pack for some reason? Why? Maybe they like... saved one of the pups or something. How did the pup end up in danger?” Etc.

6) It’s hard to force your brain to be interested in something it’s not currently interested in. If you’ve been super into sci fi and are all about Star Wars and Firefly right now, but you’ve been meaning to write a gritty crime mystery for like ever... you’re probably gonna have a hard time writing a gritty crime fiction if all your brain wants to think about is spaceships. (Unless you set the gritty crime mystery in a sci-fi setting 👀)

Trying to control your muse is like trying to leash a cat. You’re probably gonna have way greater success (and way more fun) if you just write whatever the hell you wanna write, whether that’s a 300K spy drama or another fake dating AU for your OTP even though you’ve already written two. (I promise you, nobody’s ever gonna get tired of it.)