#thinking about porsche giving him a LOOK and kinn responding i will take care of my family no matter what

[wiccawrites]

Childhood best friends kinnporsche au where Kinn is quite literally the prince of the underworld and he's sick of putting up with his asshole father so he decides to fight his way through the levels of hell just to make it to the surface but he neglects to tell Porsche -- who is death personified btw -- and now Porsche is sulking because he thinks his best friend is leaving him forever.

Which is preposterous if you ask Kinn because he has never been that good at denying Porsche anything, but Porsche seems to be upset enough to make himself scarce and avoid Kinn at any opportunity he gets so Kinn makes it a point to save all the ambrosia he gets on his numerous attempts to break out of the underworld and gift them to Porsche when they finally run into each other.

Their next meeting is purely out of coincidence and Kinn doesn't know when he'll next see Porsche after the latter disappears into the shadows so Kinn hands his best friend his gifts and makes sure that Porsche understands Kinn is looking for a break from the underworld but of course he'll come back. After all, the surface didn't have Cerberus and they sure as hell didn't have Porsche.

And maybe Porsche takes a while (aka a few dozen bottles of ambrosia) to come around but when he finally does, their whole dynamic shifts.

Kinn thinks it might be his fault.

Sure he initially gifted Porsche the ambrosia because he wanted to get back into his best friend's good graces but Porsche's face had lit up every time he received those gifts and Kinn... well, Kinn might have grown too fond of seeing Porsche smile like that.

"I already forgave you," Porsche says when Kinn comes back from another failed escape attempt and offers him three bottles of ambrosia.

"I still want to show you I care," Kinn shrugs, looking at a corner of the hall. He wasn't avoiding eye contact or anything -- Cerberus was just trying to figure out which of its three heads could best scratch an itchy spot on its back and Kinn was very interested in finding out the answer. "This is the only way I know how."

"Oh, there are other ways," Porsche hums, voice suddenly low and sultry and so, so close that Kinn feels like he has no choice but to look at him. "Would you like me to show you?"

Kinn doesn't even get the chance to try responding to that when Korn arrives and summons him just to berate him for being an utter failure of a son.

When Kinn next runs into Porsche, it's at Elysium. Porsche challenges him over who can kill more enemies and awards him a centaur heart when Kinn wins. Before he leaves, Porsche gives Kinn a coy smile and leans in close enough that his lips brush against Kinn's cheek.

"Good luck."

When Kinn fails yet again (seriously, damn his father), he crawls into his room bone tired and finds Porsche waiting for him with a very convincing alternative to sleeping his frustrations away.

Hours pass and Kinn holds Porsche in his arms as he tries to catch his breath, knees weak and a mess between his thighs.

La petite mort, Porsche says, is best received from death himself.

Kinn finds it hard to disagree.

....Basically what I'm saying is kinnporsche hades au 🙃

because can u imagine rebellious Kinn not giving a fuck about anything else because he just wants to piss Korn off?? He makes that first attempt to reach the surface without thinking to tell anyone and fails spectacularly. every shade in the underworld knows. they start talking.

and suddenly Porsche is SULKING and AVOIDING HIM and Kinn is like WTF WHAT'S WRONG???? but Porsche is just like YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT ME 😾 BEFORE DIPPING and it bothers Kinn so much but he doesn't know how to fix it 💀

[snickerdoodlles]

hi! i just read some of your ask responses about chan while I love the take some people have in fanfic with Chan being like a father figure to the Theerapanyakul boys, i definitely agree with you more. he's korns right hand man, and likely the person that oversaw the boys' training as well. I mostly write kim-fic and ive thought a lot about his training and his "leaving the family" and personally hc that he hates Chan almost as much as he hates Korn, and probably has a good deal of trauma relating to him and his training! do you have any headcanons on a scenario where he survives the coup, and his role in the family later on (even after Korns death?)? I'd love to hear your thoughts !

(prev: 1, 2)

this isn't quite what you asked nonny, but i have a lot of thoughts about Chan's canon relationships and won't know where to go for post-canon Chan thoughts without talking about them first. so! post-canon thoughts towards the end, but first i will annoy you all with a mini rant on why i Do Not Like the "Chan is close to the Theerapanyakul boys" headcanon* 😂

(*this is not shade on that fanon or people who like it, this is just why i personally back out at the speed of light for anything that has them on good terms)

my first problem with this particular premise is that it makes zero sense to me. Korn would never in a billion years allow his sons to cultivate a close father-like relationship with anyone besides him. if Chan was close to any of his sons in a parental way, he'd shoot him and tell his son(s) it was their fault. Korn wants complete control over his kids, he wouldn't let them cultivate that sort of loyalty outside of family.

but also i just...why the fuck would Khun, Kinn, or Kim WANT a good fatherly relationship? they don't know good fathers. Korn is terrible, Gun is awful, Granddad is worse. there is one (1) good father in all of kp and he got killed in front of his son.

i get that people want these boys to have a good parent relationship. so do i! that's half the basis of my mama theerapanyakul characterization! but why do they have to have a good father relationship with anyone? this just screams of fandom forcing found-family dynamics into het nuclear roles again. why is it so prevalent that the true sign of a good relationship between these boys and any older man is a fatherly nature. ugh.

it's also just very OOC to me. Chan responds to the bodyguards bickering with Extreme Irritation. he looks so fucking annoyed when Big's upset during episode 6. any time someone brings him an emotion, Chan's mentally running through his escape route options. and that's with adults! Chan doesn't want to deal with kids, he'd be awful at it!

anyways, with that ~spicy~ pre-rant preramble out of the way, i don't actually have any headcanons about Chan and the boys specifically in regards to him training them. because with the exception of Khun, i don't think any of the boys' trauma comes specifically from violence.

Khun is personally very affected by violence i think, and i don't think he can overcome his aversion to it without a lot of distance from it and it being in the name of protection (see: his big reaction to Ken, but his ability to send out motorized cars with bombs) (tho i also point to how those bombs were distraction, and any kills from them were mostly by coincidence). but other than him, Kinn doesn't like violence but he doesn't have any issue with it and Kim almost relishes in it.

like, this is personal preferences, but i don't think the boys ever had physical training that was bad enough to give them trauma. 1) that is a terrible message for Korn to send to anyone, and Korn cares a lot about images. 2) in show, Korn never physically punishes Kinn when he's upset with him. he punishes Kinn's guards. Porsche's punishment in episode 5 was 100% directed at Kinn, and it fucks him up worse than any physical punishment Korn could've inflicted directly onto him, and Korn knows this.

for Kim specifically, Kim likes violence. and given how good he is at it, he's the driving force behind his own training and likely always has been, especially since Khun was likely kidnapped when Kim was very young. i don't think Korn ever had to 'encourage' Kim to violence.

Kim ran away from Korn's control, not the family violence. i think Kim looked at the role his uncle had forced Vegas into and realized that it, or something very similar, was his destination if he didn't run as fast as he could. he loves his brothers dearly and while he probably does fear them reacting to his love of violence the way they do to Vegas, i think his bigger concern was Korn turning him into a weapon against Kinn. because Korn certainly tries to. and with someone like Korn, who sees the world in terms of things (including people) that are and are not beneficial to him, there's no playing against his games. the only win is leaving the game completely.

this wound up being all about the boys ajfjf, back to Chan! i think all three brothers see Chan as an extension of Korn's control. they trust him...kind of. it's less of "we feel safe around you" and more of "you're familiar." in a turbulent time (like Korn's fake death), having Chan around at least feels safer because it's one less unknown to juggle. but there's not really space for him if Korn's gone. i think in any situation where Chan lives past the finale's fight, he's right back to being Korn's shadow and right-hand man, and if he can take a bullet for Korn, he will. but in a situation where Korn dies first...Chan wouldn't act out against the brothers. it's not advantageous to him. but there's nowhere for him to go. Kinn would keep him around, because of the above reasons and Kinn is extremely loyal to anyone he sees as 'his', even the ones that don't deserve it, but Chan's duties would still slowly siphon away to other people Kinn trusts more imo. Chan's still there, but he just...has nothing. Korn is his everything, and without Korn, he has nothing.

(personally, i'd have Kim kill Chan in any post-Korn survival situations. not because Kim has it out for Chan, i just really like the idea of Kim running a risk probability on him and deciding he doesn't like those risks for Kinn.)

[ronanlvnchvevo]

thinking about how vegas got to the hospital after being shot like 5 times in the chest thinking about who was the one to find pete sobbing over a dead vegas thinking about pete going absolutely feral after being told he needed to let go of him so that they can get him to medical thinking about how many hours pete had to wait and how many ‘he’s still in critical condition’s he got before getting the all-clear thinking about how long it took before pete accepted that vegas was still alive

[atlasshrugd]

something i’ve noticed is that while kinn is the one who likes to initiate conversations and hash things out, porsche is the one who likes to give verbal affirmation once the relationship is established. for example. he would say things like “last night was amazing,” “he is jealous that we are in love,” “you look great,” “smile, that’s when you’re cutest,” “you are really adorable,” “feels so good,” “so kind,” etc. most of these lil comments kinn doesn’t comment back, he usually just agrees or smiles. this is interesting bc porsche seems to put more weight on words of affirmation and acts of service (see: porsche always fixing kinn’s hair, being his bodyguard etc.), while kinn puts more weight on physical touch and quality time (see: kinn kissing him when he says “you never trust me” in ep 10, mutual masturbation scene / staying handcuffed to porsche in the woods etc.) as ways of expressing love/giving reassurance. 

let me elaborate:

kinn often initiates conversations (see: asking porsche if he is okay multiple times, “are we good now?”) to clear the air — because his way of thinking is efficient and organized. porsche often avoids these confrontations and would prefer to forgive and forget (see: kinn apologizing for “that night” multiple times in the woods but porsche not really wanting to talk about it). this is because porsche is not used to talking about his feelings (i.e. not having parents to talk to, not wanting to burden porchay, having to put feelings aside to get things done etc.) or having them be important/listened to. 

so, porsche uses words of affirmation to establish feelings because he was so starved of that for most of his life. mirroring this, kinn is also not used to verbal affirmation from loved ones. so when porsche offers this — he often doesn’t know how to respond, but is pleasantly surprised. 

porsche also uses acts of service to express love, as no one has ever taken care of him. he takes care and protects the people he loves, often sacrificing his own feelings. mirroring this, nobody has sacrificed for kinn, either. he has always been the one making the sacrifices (inheriting the mafia job despite being the middle child, putting aside his love life and freedom to do a job he doesn’t want), and nobody has ever cared for him beyond what he can do for them (his father, his people, tawan). 

so when porsche performs acts of service, (such as taking him out on a date/carefully planning, fixing his hair, coming back to save him, offering to cut off his hand, etc.) — this is completely new to kinn. he is used to people doing things for him out of obligation and duty. but with porsche, he rarely does anything he doesn’t want to do. he does these things for kinn by his own choice.

(see: porsche trying to “seduce” kinn by pretending he’s sick so kinn can look after him. this is an example of what porsche sees as love. taking care of someone.)

in return, kinn performs acts of service for porsche. he lets go of porsche in the woods, takes the bullet for him, gives his lucky gun to him, lets him borrow his phone to call porchay, gives him his own phone, pushes porsche out of the way of a bullet and cleans his wound, etc.

in contrast, kinn uses physical touch to anchor and communicate his feelings because he was touch starved for most of his life. the only touch he got was from callboys, and it wasn’t exactly loving or gentle. because he is so used to the trivialities of words, he often resorts to touch to speak louder. porsche responds to this bc he is equally touch-starved and lacked physical affection all his life.

additionally, kinn also uses quality time as a way to express love. he doesn’t take off the handcuffs because he knows he can only get this time with porsche if they are stuck together away from everything else. “we know each other so much better this way.” kinn decides to make it up to porsche by going over to his house and forcing himself to awkwardly sit with him and his drunk friends for hours. “if i didn’t care about you, why am i sitting here?” (see: kinn not being annoyed with all of porsche’s trivial demands on their date, instead looking fond. bc he doesn’t care how he spends time with porsche. as long as he is with porsche, he is happy.)

back to my original point. kinn likes to initiate conversations and gets straight to the point, especially when checking in on porsche. (e.g. “what now? [about us]” “are you okay with it? [kissing]” “are you okay? [after first time]” “are you good now?” etc.). this could be because he realises words of affirmation are important for porsche’s way of identifying love to himself. but where porsche affirms with compliments and revealing comments, kinn affirms by reassurance (see: “promise you will return to me no matter what” / “i promise.” / “return the gun, and yourself.”) — these reinforcements are short but important, quick and efficient (just like kinn’s mind). 

anyway damn. i just find it interesting how their languages of love differ yet they begin to incorporate and integrate the others’ into them — and how they respond to the other in their own language. this is their mode of communication. perhaps others won’t understand, but they do. and that’s what matters.