#this all came from me seeing that video about gay robins on christmas cards

[willowedhepatica]

Avatrice + snowed in?

A robin wants to escape the storm. It's skittering, wings flapping in hectic motion between the cup of Beatrice palms.

Ava had left the window open.

It thrums, small chest heaving against her hand and Beatrice wonders if it's afraid or simply fights by simple compulsion.

Like she fought the grip of her parents' control to finally find herself amongst sisters.

"You're safe." She whispers, thumb brushing.

Their eyes are black. Small but wide as it looks up at her with a form of indignation.

How strange it felt to see herself in a bird.

"Beatrice?"

She looks up to find Ava standing by the doorstep. Her eyes flick to the open window, then to the wet spot to the floor and at last to the bird in her hand.

"You forgot to close the window." Beatrice says.

Ava walks closer. "Oh my god, did it fly inside?"

"It did. I believe it was trying to seek shelter."

Her eyes glint with awe. She's still ignoring the open window. The storm. The way the hair on her neck stands on end by the cold. "Bea, I need to hold it."

"It needs to be released outside."

Her head tilts to the side and she rocks forward on the heels of her feet. "Come on, just for a minute? I'll let it go afterwards." Her eyes are pleading, soft but still stubborn and Beatrice can physically feel her resolve slip.

Christ.

"Fine." She says, giving in far too easily for her own liking.

Their fingers brush as she transfers it to Ava's hands and she holds on just long enough to make sure it doesn't escape. Her skin tingles from the contact. Her hand curls by her side as she watches Ava bring it closer to her chest.

"She's gorgeous."

"It's a male. You can see by the bright rustic colour on his chest and yellow bill. Females are generally much duller in appearance."

"Oh, sorry." Instead of directing the apology to Beatrice she directs it towards the bird.

He doesn't seem at all amused.

Ava's nose crinkle. "I'm not sure he likes us very much."

"He probably just feels trapped." Beatrice mumbles, more so to herself than anyone else. The snow had come down for days. They hadn't been able to go anywhere for a while and it's making Ava restless. And bored. So bored that the most interesting thing was a bird flying into their living room.

"Can we keep it?"

"Absolutely not."

There's a pause where it looks like she's gearing up to protest.

The bird chirps, stirring in her grip and she looks down and sighs. "Alright, okay. Fine." She walks up to the window, opening it a little wider so she could lean out and release it.

It bursts from her uncupped hands and into its element, dipping past the little store on the other side of the street, wingbeats spasming before it disappears between a large pine tree weighted by snow.

She closes it after her and the room goes silent. The sound of the wind whistling as it drags against treetops seize to exist.

As if they were in a space completely detached from everything around them. From the world.

How risky that could be. How invisible Beatrice could feel.

Maybe now - in this span of time, she could dare to be bold. She could dare to finally, finally, break that tension that seemed to lay between them.

The thread could loosen and she could take a step forward.

“Ava-”

“You know, if I were a bird I think I would want to be a robin.”

Beatrice brows crinkle. Ava always had a talent for catching her off guard. “Why?”

Ava shrugs. “Rumours say they appear when loved ones are near.”

It's said so casually Beatrice has to repeat it in her head a few times before processing it. Loved one? Did Ava believe…

Ava's eyes fall to the space between her neck and her collarbone. “Bea…” She walks closer, Beatrice breath stutters when she leans forward, body close and fingers brushing over the collar of her shirt before she straightens up. “It dropped one of its feathers.”

She exhales. “Ava.”

The feather is brown, pinched between her thumb and index finger as she inspects it with more attention than Beatrice thinks it deserved.

She's right here.

“This one is definitely going in my collection.”

Beatrice huffs, something between a laugh and pure bewilderment. “Ava.”

Ever since they came to Switzerland, Ava had had a tendency to collect small trinkets that normally would be uninteresting. Like the smooth black stone from the lake where they trained or a broken part of a wine bottle she dropped on her first week as a bartender.

Finally, Ava turns her attention towards her, lips setting into that adorably confused frown. “What?”

“Do you believe the robin flew in here for a reason?” She's not sure why she asks. Not sure why a part of her wants to know. That itching, restless part who couldn't stop analysing everything between them like that would make a connection.

“Do you want there to be a reason?” The question seems genuine, curious even.

Her hands ball into fists. She inclines her head.

“Hey.” In the next breath Ava is in front of her, taking her hand in her own. She's gentle, nudging at her fingers to make her open up. Her thumb skims over her palm in a hesitant motion. “I was joking, promise. I mean if I was a bird I would probably just fly headfirst into class or some shit, so not a good fit for me.”

Beatrice huffs, not helping the small smile that slowly tugs free. “You know that's not at all what I mean.”

“I know.” She laughs, eyes softening. “It's okay.”

It's okay. It's okay.

Her chest swells. She exhales, breath shaky as she search for some sort of hesitance. Ava is looking back at her, unmoving - for a change - seeing if she gets it. It's okay. For so long she'd held herself back, refusing to get close to anyone or anything. For so long she's been terrified to let her guard down.

But Ava takes her hand and it's like everything falls apart. All her restraints. All her doubts. Leaving only her left in its entirety.

Ava watches her as if she knows. As if she understands.

For once, it doesn't scare her.

She intertwines her fingers with hers.

“Okay.”