#this bitch is so attractive it's kinda annoying idk

[cu7ie]

💋 big mouth ☆ ～('▽^人)

⠀⠀✿`` content warnings : gojo can't shut up. cervix fucking. switch reader and gojo. (gojo gets dommy at the end.) porn w/o plot. dirty talking, throat fucking, handjob, face humping, a lot of cum bc i said so nyeh nyeh, oral (dick-sucking/pussy licking), big dick gojo (and he knows it), reader has experience, gojo a little less so. stamina, gojo has it, you don't. cursing (lots of it). name-calling (both sides), afab reader. raw sex minors do not interact! 3.8k words Y'ALL.

⠀⠀✿`` author note : gojo cock is good. based as fuck please talk to me about gojo cock <3 also i fr think hes so annoying hes never quiet!! in my mind he so blah blah blah blah blah during sex . even if he dont like u he blah blah blah. also if you like my porn, reblog it! oh yeah!!! and leave comments omg... this fic got so away from me, idk how long it is its just so much fucking porn- also! @enchantedforest-network partner! join us hehehe

Gojo has a bit of a talking problem.

He's a blabbermouth at the best of times, and maybe in any other situation would you appreciate his insight. He's good at making mountains out of molehills, take your nothing and make it something; even when it's as mundane as the weather, he'll draw up his own storyboard and play all the different actors - reporter, news anchor, cameraman and "Satoru, coming to us live with the forecast,"

and at first it's charming, right? It's what endears most people to him; what attracted you in some respects. Bordering on bit of a god complex, Gojo's always been effortlessly confident; disarmingly charming; handsome to the point of aggravation. He's never a dull moment, always gives it his all, extra even when he's lazy.

But you thought maybe, just maybe,

if you shunt his pants down till they bunch around his ankles, and licked his cock from shaft to tip,

would he shut up then? Would he allow you a moment of silence (relative, because the sound of you sucking all up on his dick is decidedly extremely loud) to let your hair down, let your head bob back and forth, tongue slurping on the underside of his cock while your lips are wrapped firmly round the middle of his shaft?

"You really like sucking my dick, don't you?"

No. The answer is no.

His face has broken out into a smile, and you don't know if he's giggling out of incredulousness or nervousness - but you are surprised that all his blood hasn't gone to his dick, cause his cheeks are red. His hand cradles the back of your head graciously, sweat sliding down his nose because he has to crane his neck to ogle you.

"C'mon. You can take more of it inta your mouth - suck. Fucking suck." His hips shifty as you work your way towards the base of his shaft, and you chose to ignore the comment, what with cock in your mouth and all. He's gotten mouthy before, not like this, but it's nothing you can't handle.

See, Gojo's kinda ... easy. He can act all hard to get - er, mysterious and what not, but he's like any other aloof man with a pretty face. Afraid of gettin' close and not knowin' what to do with it. It, you know, -

And you do, but he keeps fucking up your rhythm by trying to fuck your hand. You give full strokes, rotating your wrist and pumping steady and quick, trying to look Gojo in his eyes as you're doing it, where as his gaze is dead set on your point of contact. "You're just a dog aren'tcha? Hump, hump, humpin', away." Your smile curling at the corners, at how easily he's giving himself to you. He's dripping pre,

His fat fucking cock. Thigh clenching, pussy watering, eye-widening kind of fat. Shit is so big can't even hold itself up, so you tell him "I can hold that for you," and he pants out as he nods rapidly, "Yes, please do." You get to jerking his cock and he's a whiny little bitch. "Faster" this, "More" that, moving your hand up and down his cock like you don't know what you're doing.

"Back up Satoru, I got this."

"Look at you - you're fucking panting."

And you think you'll get away with it. Get just grunt or a sigh in response. But of course his motorboat mouth starts going on...

"Yuh ... you're good, but, " He attempts nonchalance in a cherry tomato cosplay. Red red red all over. "You're holding out on me..." His tongue lolls at you playfully, and you decide anything not singing your praises wasn't worth hearing. He opens his mouth to say something else.

Your stutter your stroke (effectively cutting him off,) working your way to the head and massaging it between your thumb and forefinger. Sweat is pouring from Gojo's forehead. He's hiking his leg further apart on the couch so you have more space to touch him, your body snaking over his thigh, getting close enough for him to be able to feel your steady breaths on his cock. "Fuck! Stop - haah.." He groans like you're working him. You most definitely are. "Stop teasing.."

"A blowjob?" You purse your lips, ponder it over. "Think you'll be able to make it to the fucking?" Your breathing gets closer, and you feel him throb in your hand. "You sure seem excited! Just don't blow your load down my throat, save it for my pussy." You're teasing, licking your lips and pressing a sloppy kiss to his mushroom head. You could swear it'd gotten a little harder than before.

Only in those moments could you have recognized you gave the man a little too much power. When your pillowy, spit slicked lips wrapped around his throbbing cockhead, licking up the pre on your eager tongue, looking down and breathing deeply through your nose. He can hardly keep himself from lifting his hips and trying to pop through the other side of your throat with the damn thing!

Now, he's just a boy too big for his damn britches. He knows you give good head because of the way you move your tongue and jerk off whatever you can't reach, but it's not good enough head. He's big, sure, but for someone who talks like they fuck n' suck on the regular, something about the performance is feeling a wee bit lackluster...

And while you're busy thinking about how you got here, he's impatiently jutting his hips against your face.

"You listening to me?" His finger teasingly taps at your forehead, getting you out of your train of thought. "Don't tell me - I've already fucked your brains out? Maybe you're just a lil' cock-drunk. Got a remedy for that..."

He thrusts his hips and the rest of his dick tucks itself snugly into your wet warm mouth, head brushing past your uvula and nestling comfortably in your throat. You can't see the way your throat bulged a little, but you most definitely feel it. You make a noise, half-choke-half-whine, and he laughs gaily at the way his balls pap your chin. "Ah? You said something?" He peers down curious, your nose mingling well with the fluffy little hairs at the base of his cock.

You don't forget to breathe, although your eyes tear a little from his size. Your jaw and throat are being stretched to capacity, but you remind yourself 'through your nose'. It's fine for a bit longer - you bob up and down in relatively uninterrupted peace, til Gojo's hand on the back of your head gets a little too comfortable. "Just a little more... suck a little harder..."

Your face burns and you clutch at it, staring at him your the gaps in your fingers as he tucks into your pussy like it's supper. He's alright at it. He doesn't do it like all he's seen is shitty porn - he's really ... getting in there, actually. Oooh.... Ohh..

He starts trying to take over your flow, his grip firm enough to start bobbing your head up and down all on his own. Like your throat is just some fleshy, tight hole to fuck. Kinda makes your pussy drool, but that's besides the point. "Oh fuck.."

You moan and take it. Let him hump up into your mouth as his musk sorta clogs your nose. He's moaning so loud it drowns out most other cohesive thoughts in your mind, the plumpness of his balls cushioning your chin a little every time he tugs your head down. He's muttering stuff you can barely hear over the sound of sucking.

"Pretty baby. Here's to hoping you'll never suck anyone else's dick this good again.... holy shit..."

Eventually his grip lets up a little. It allows you more freedom in your movement for a bit. Though your jaw starts hurting sooner than later, so you give his balls a little pinch and he finally lets you up to take in a big good gulp of air.

His voice is a little shaky. "That was ... fuck ... that was nice." Your voice is a little raw, more croaky when you respond, "Just nice?" flicking his balls in irritation as you take huffing breaths. His cock twitches, shiny and coated in saliva, your drool dripping down over his sack - altogether one of your prettier pictures. "Y'know... what'd make that blowjob just a bit better?" He breathes like he missed oxygen, his sigh half content and mostly wheedling as one hand creeps towards the base of his cock, and his other gets comfy on your ass.

"You wanna fuck, Satoru?" He feigns a gasp, his mouth popping into a little surprised 'o' shape. His face can't belie his excitement, his palms clasping together almost comically before he realizes what he's doing and stops.

"Where could you have ever got that idea from...?" He says, jerking his cock a little and pointing it up to the sky. "Get over here." He pats your cheek with it. You're not against the idea, but Gojo hasn't impressed you enough yet. You poke it away with your finger, sitting up and shuffling out of your underwear. There's enough space on the couch that you can flop onto your back, looking at Gojo from between your legs, pussy pretty and glistening with your arousal.

The way he looks at you makes you squeeze down on absolutely nothing. Flustered yet wild like an animal, apprehensive like he's never sucked a clit before.

"Head first, then we fuck."

"Oh?" Gojo starts fighting to get his shirt off his head, scampering forward so fast he nearly falls into your pussy lips. "Easy boy! Down, down..." You mutter, his fingers digging into your thighs and spreading them clumsily. The aforementioned effortless confidence of Gojo seems to break away into something more sincere and somber when he lowers himself down to kiss your clit. The way he chooses to maintain eye contact throughout makes your heart flutter, and you get a bit of slick on his lips on accident.

His tongue darts over it. "Itadakimasu."

"Oh my fucking god..." Your chest almost deflates at how serious he is, nodding like he's bowing before going in with his tongue.

"Mmf..." Your sigh flutters out of you, becoming a full blown moan as his mouth firmly suctions over your clit and little labia, licking firmly and decisively. Like all of a sudden he knows what he's doing. His attention is most often directed towards your clit, suckling on it and making your thighs twitch. You push them against the side of his head but he forces you to spread them wider again, just to fuck a finger or two into you first.

Your pussy makes a little schlick noise, readily accepting him in the hot warmth of your cunt. "That's a good sign.." He meanderingly strokes his chin. "Take dick that well too?" Your head perks up, teasing underlined with irritation.

"Course. Now suck please, I liked you more with a mouth full." You smile shakily and Gojo seems to laugh in kind. Your smile is cut off by a gasp and shudder as Satoru firmly presses his finger into your wall, lifting his mouth to get a better look at your pussy as he's stretching it open. "M'sorry, did I cut you off?"

He licks the remnants of you from his damp lips, two fingers slowly thrusting in and out. All you can do is sigh, one legs flopped off the couch and the other slung over the back of it. He's alright at this. Not as good as him giving head, but it's not terrible either. Maybe you just like seeing him be quiet for more than a second.

His fingers feel like they're looking for something. First he's pushing down, and when you only grunt in response, he starts gently feeling around for that little pocket of sunshine...

"Up." You whimper, aroused but irritated with his finagling. Your hand slides down the front of your stomach, pressing softly on a spot right before your lips start and where your hair would begin to grow. "Around th-there... You got thaat?-" If his grin is anything to go by, he most certainly does. First he presses up into it like it's a button, which makes you squeak and yelp and clutch the couch, bracing for impact. Then he slowly opts you into the pleasure, trying to apply the right kind of pressure to massage a couple moans out of you, your juices coating his hand and dripping to his wrist.

"Oh, oh.." He winks cheekily as you sling your leg over his lap, positioning his cock till it's brushing up against your pretty lips, pre-cum dripping from the head of his cock as your warmth beckons him further. "...save a horse..." He sighs happily as you sink down onto him.

"Hey - don't turn my couch into a slip n' slide now." You groan, clenching down on his fingers like you mean to squeeze the life out of them. "Need - I need more." You snort when he tries to go for a third finger. He clues in quick.

"Dick? I gotchu, don't even worry about that." He tries to slide atop you to complete this jigsaw, but you got a different idea in making these pieces all fit. You push him backwards with your foot a little, getting up off your back in one motion. He backs up to allow you space, clocked in to your movements just a tad.

"Oh my God Satoru." You groan out as the tip of his cock stretches you out, your pussy sucking him up so so greedily, like you'd been waiting all night. "What... don't like my banter babe?" Gojo grunts and your brows furrow, his hand jumping to your hips and steading you when you swoon.

"N-no... Just ... aaaah .." You squeeze his shaft and he actually honest to god chokes on air. "Just - oh fuck - just shut up for a sec. Let me have thissss..." You're halfway down now, Gojo gently coaxing you further and starting to rock his hips.

Pulling up with ease and sliding down further on his fat shaft with effort, Gojo stretches you open so good your legs keep trembling, your breathing hurried even after a couple minutes - and while Gojo seems to be enjoying himself (very, very much so), he's smiling up at you and your effort, very plainly amused. Sweat starting to trickle down your forehead, you're sat wondering what's so funny.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Go on - I'm definitely not stopping you." He sighs deep, his head lolling over the couch as you start lifting yourself up and down, your hand reaching up and going for your nipples. He's too focused on your wet pussy to pay you mind for a bit, but then he's drawn to them, hypnotized. He pulls on your left with his fingers, nibbles on your right with his teeth.

"Oh!" Gojo's blue eyes flick up, wrinkled at the corners. "Mno teef?" He says, still attached to your nipple. The vibration makes you laugh, more of his cock pressing into you as your muscles relax. "Teeth is ... teeth is fine." Gojo resumes his plucking. He lets you use his cock a little like a dildo. In fact, he kind of reminds you of a perfect Ken doll. Smooth muscles you can run your hands over, nice built shoulders, pornstar dick...

"Nuffin..." He mumbles around your areola, going back to sucking and scheming. Whatever. You focus on bouncing on this cock.

...

Opting to do most of the work probably wasn't the best decision. Your legs are championing through, but you're pretty tired, and after figuring out Gojo's dick is big enough to meet your cervix you've been having the time of your life. Sometimes you get too tired to lift yourself, so Gojo is oh-so-very helpful in grinding up into you, smearing his little pre-cum kisses up against your cervix.

"I'll even do all the work." His grin was smarmy, but you didn't clock it at the time. It's cute and still makes your pussy throb, so "Go," you say. "Go off, babe."

You're gonna cum soon. Gojo notices how tight you get when it's about to happen. His take over is a little subtle, but you're so interested in reaching that stiff peak, that tightening in your stomach, just chasing, chasing, chasing,

Gojo thinks, "like a dog." He smirks into your chest. Your cursing abruptly cuts into his thoughts, however -

"Shit! - fuck fuck fuck - ugh!" Every word is punctuated by a last effort of raising and falling, raising and falling, raising, and then being pulled. Gojo tugs your hips down and your pussy spasms as your body jerks.

"Satoru!" You yelp reflexively before something like a whimper weasels itself from your lips. You tighten around Gojo and it hurts a little because he's so thick, but you moan into his shoulder unbothered. A little broken, voice horse, but mostly unbothered. Til he starts moving his hips again.

"The fuck?" You stutter, a little caught off guard as you're suddenly shifted, up and down not from your own movement, but Gojo's rabid humping. "I'm almost there - soo close - can we keep goin', pretty please?" He grinds his hips into your orgasm terribly slowly, trying to get your brain to clock into overtime.

He carefully saws himself in, making your back arch at the sensation. He slides your knees apart and holds the back of them firmly, tugging you the rest of the way onto him. The meandering pace of sex before is tossed to the side.

And regret isn't quite the right word, but you'll feel something a little like it in a second.

"Whatever you say."

Your body is boneless, so it's pretty easy for Gojo to scoop you up, though it doesn't surprise you any less. Says there's not enough space on the couch for him to spread his wings, so he lugs you back to his cozy little room, and plops you onto his bed. Towards the edge of it, so your legs dangle off as he positions himself in front of you, holding his cock at the base - which now looks angrier than before. Instead of the blushy pink dusting it at the tip, it's a deeper, aggravated red now - slapping against your cunt like this motherfucker has places to be. "Open uppp~"

You were fucking Gojo before. Now he's fucking you. Any apprehension, slow-to-start bashfulness, gone with the wind. Once the head pushes past your entrance, a good five inches of cock go alongside it immediately after. Gojo's hiking your legs onto his shoulder's as he watches your eyes suddenly blow wider than saucers, laughing genuinely at the break in your nonchalance and worn facade.

"I should have answered you properly earlier." He says, brushing a stand of sweat slicked hair away from your forehead. He leans down so close, lips a little touch and go, the intention in his eye serious and cutting. With the movement, the last couple inches of cock fill you out, making you eep! But not breaking his focus in the slightest. "I want to fuck." He drags his hips molasses like, till the head is back at your entrance. He slides it back in smoothly, earnest chuckle overshadowed by your pitchy whimper.

"But I assume you got the memo - so," The sound of skin slapping against skin resumes, his pace almost breakneck. His balls slap against your ass with such ferocity it makes you yelp the first time, whimper the second, moan the third. Gojo seems more serious now, the balls in his court and the way you squeal and reach out for anything to hold only spurs him on further.

And are promptly cut off by a vigorous pounding, the sounds of your own moans, and an downright visceral embarrassment when you realize this is the second time you're cumming and in spite of all your fucking and sucking, Satoru hasn't even came once. And as if hearing your thoughts, Gojo's playful expression closes in - his brow furrows as each roll of his hips gets more decisive.

"Pussy tryna close up shop?" He mutters near your ear when you clench on him a little too tight. "You tryna break my dick or something? I know it's good, but you can't keep it -" You don't know if your sigh is from pleasure or exasperation.

"Gojo, please." He tweaks your nipple and makes you squirm.

"Ohhhh, I see how it issss. It's Gojo now?" With every drag of his words he slows down dramatically, dragging his cock along your walls so painstakingly sensual it makes you want to scream. "What happened to Satoru?"

You start placatingly. "Satoru, I-"

After a moment, his hand comes over yours, your fingers weakly folding over his. His pumps grow harder, but slow down, his eyes clamped shut as he looks up, and -

"I'll try to make this one a two-fer." He speaks with that same smile in his voice, and you're two far gone to offer a groan or snap in response. "Y-yeah. Cum, Satoru - I wanna, I wanna cum," His eyes dart up to yours, and it's a little hard to hold his stare, but you manage.

"Yes yes pretty baby. You'll - we'll cum. Soon... real s-soon."

Your muscles feel tired, used from your last orgasm and forced to prolong operation just to take more dick. It's harder to take the full length of his shaft, your tummy flipping and your mind beyond fuzzy and fucked out. But you hold out. Just a little bit ... longer.

His thrusts start getting sloppy. The bruising piston of his hips edge off their intensity, and -

You're cumming again. Your legs are shaking and your ass feels a little numb and you're clenching so so so hard, for dear fucking life-

"Fucking hell!" Gojo bites his tongue, and pumps into you for the last time.

"Good." You gasp. "That was good." Satoru runs a thumb over your clit, teasing.

He heaves sighs like he's moved mountains, but really he's just offloading hot cum from his throbbing nuts, pressed into you very closely before going entirely still. You thought you were full before? Now you're kind of... bursting. Is that the right word? Feels that way. Gojo does a full body shudder and stretches his back out, trying to fuck his load you before he's even came it all out.

There's so much that it spurts around the sides of his dick and you can feel some of it slip out, run down your thighs, and you quiver one last time before feeling strength leave your body. Satisfaction blankets over you, a nice, full-bodied comfort. When Gojo slides out, he spurts a little cum on your tummy, the rest of it oozing out of you slow.

"Haha," His voice is a little raspy, like yours now. He arches a brow before he bends down, planting a loving kiss on your lips.

"Just good?"

[auras-moonstone]

heyyy idk if you like take requests at this time but can i req an ethan fic with the concept of better than revenge by tay like y/n is dating ethan and someone stole him and like shes planning revenge and like raging and that kinda stuff? tysmmm and your writing is so *chefs kiss* take ur time also mwa

hiii omg thank you for this!! i LOVE better than revenge and i think your idea is so cool, hope you like what i came up with <3 !

better than revenge — ethan landry

word count: 1,468

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: y/n founds out why rebekah took an interest in ethan and plans her revenge.

based on: better than revenge by taylor swift

author’s note: today i started classes again so i don’t know how often will i be able to post. they have already assigned me a novel to read and analyse. i want to die😫

SUMMER HAD BEEN THE SEASON THAT BROUGHT ETHAN AND Y/N TOGETHER. Quinn, Ethan’s sister, had introduced them and they instantly clicked. Because of his shyness and lack of experience with girls, she had been the one who made the first step. And they had dated for two amazing months. Until Rebekah came along, got him alone and it was the downfall of their relationship.

“What do you mean he broke up with you? That asshole!” Quinn said in anger.

Y/N sighed. “It’s her, Quinn. She’s taking advantage of him, I know it”.

“Rebekah being interested in my brother was not something I saw coming”

“Me neither, I wouldn’t have suspected it” Y/N frowned, hitting the pillow with anger. “It’s weird, and sudden”.

“Are they together?” Quinn asked.

Y/N shook her head. “No. He told me he likes me but he is confused, and he needs time to clear his feelings up. He said it wasn’t fair for me to be in a relationship when there are doubts in his mind” the girl was gripping a teddy bear with force.

“There are these rumours…” Quinn started, and Y/N looked at her expectedly “Rebekah secretly dates guys to pass the subjects. Makes them do her homework, summaries she can use to cheat on exams”

“Wait, she’s about to fail Econ. And Ethan never got anything lower than an A” Y/N realized. “Do you think she’s…”

“I think so” Quinn frowned “That bitch is using my brother to pass Econ”.

Y/N clenched her jaw “She’s so gonna pay for this. She underestimated who she was stealing from”

“HEY, Y/N/N” Ethan said shyly, sitting next to her on the bench while she ate her lunch.

“Hey, Eth” she smiled sweetly. Even though the pain was beating on her like a drum, Y/N still wanted to be around him, even if it was as his friend. Besides, she could never get mad at Ethan.

“Do you mind if I eat with you?” he asked.

“You are always invited to eat with me” Y/N answered, making him blush. “What are all these books?” Ethan shifted uncomfortable in his seat, and Y/N understood immediately. “They are Rebekah’s”.

“Yeah… I’m sorry, Y/N/N”

“You don’t need to apologize” she reassured him, although the thought of them together made her heart break “Just… don’t let her treat you like your lap dog, okay?”

“She’s not. She just needed to do something and asked me if I could carry them” Ethan said.

“Okay, if you say so” Y/N nodded, not convinced at all.

“Y/N…” he looked at her, regret filling those puppy brown eyes Y/N loved so much.

“No, Eth. You don’t have to explain anything. Not anymore” Y/N sent him a weak smile.

This statement created a knot in Ethan’s throat. He missed Y/N very much, but he also knew he was attracted to Rebekah. He needed to figure his feelings out.

“What are you talking about?” said the annoying voice of the girl who got between them.

“Nothing” Y/N brushed it off.

“Okay” she said in a over-friendly tone. She was trying so hard to act nice. “Eth, can you help me with my Econ assignment?” she asked, putting a hand on his bicep and batting her eyelashes at him. God, Y/N hated her and her stupid vintage dresses so much.

Ethan gulped, she made him nervous. And Rebekah subtly smirked at Y/N. “You haven’t done it yet? It’s for today”

“I tried, I just don’t understand it” she said in a fake saddened voice.

“Have you tried asking the teacher? You know, he’s there for something” Y/N said, acting as if she really wanted to help her. But it takes an actress to know one, so Rebekah just glared at her.

“I can’t right now. I’m having lunch with Y/N/N” Ethan said, and Y/N did her best to hide her smile of victory. “Maybe you should talk to the teacher”.

As much as she hated how Rebekah was taking advantage of Ethan, she needed him to do her homework once more. But this time, Y/N was going to make sure Rebekah doesn’t get away with it.

“It’s fine, Eth. We can hang out later”

“Are you sure?” he asked, he really didn’t want her to leave.

“Yes, don’t worry. See you later” she kissed his cheek, making him smile widely, cheeks turning even more red. “Bye, Rebekah, it was so nice meeting you”.

WHEN REBEKAH SLAMMED Y/N LOCKER WITH ANGER, SHE KNEW HER PLAN HAD WORKED. Y/N showed the fuming girl her best smile, which made the other girl even angrier.

“Hi, Rebekah. Can I help you with something?” she asked innocently.

“Drop the act. You did this, didn’t you?” Rebekah showed her the failing grade.

“Um, no. I believe the professors are the ones who grade our stuff” she replied, explaining as if Rebekah was five years old.

“Don’t act like a saint, and don’t smart talk to me. You told the teacher Ethan did this assignment, and now I’ll have to re-take the entire subject” she spitted in anger. “Why did you do this? Is it because you’re jealous? Because Ethan likes me more than you?”

Y/N finally smirked “Nah, jealousy certainly added fuel to the fire, but the main reason is because I don’t like seeing the people I love being walked over. Ethan is an amazing guy, he deserves so much better than your bullshit and manipulation”.

“Please, that guy is a loser” Rebekah scoffed. “He’s so insecure and attention deprived. I swear I didn’t even have to kiss him, I would just put my hand on his arm and he would do anything I asked. How pathetic”

“If he’s pathetic, then how should you be described? I mean, asking guys to do your work for you on every subject because your little brain is not capable of even comprehending one subject? Now, that is pathetic”

“Did you just call me pathetic?” Rebekah pushed her harshly against the lockers.

“Yup. Add ex-swim team captain to the list” Y/N said.

“What do you mean?” Rebekah asked appalled.

“Oh, you don’t know? My god, this keeps getting better. My dear Rebekah, it’s with great sadness I inform you that if you re-take a subject you can’t be captain of any team. I’m so sorry!”

“What?!” she screamed.

Y/N smiled, enjoying the scene in front of her “Do you still feel like you know what you’re doing? I don’t think you do”

“You’re a bitch” the mad woman said between gritted teeth.

“Mm, no. I’m actually pretty nice, but you played with Ethan as if he was a toy. You have no dignity, and this is me teaching you not to push people down to get you where you want to go.”

“I’m going to tell Ethan what you did” Rebekah warned me.

“No body, no crime, Rebekah. You can’t prove it” Y/N smirked.

The unhinged girl turned around and smiled when he saw the nerdy boy leaning against the locker “I think I don’t have to prove anything. He heard it on his own”.

Y/N looked in that direction and her face fell. She tried to tell herself that, even if Ethan got mad at her for sticking her nose in his life, at least he won’t be Rebekah’s puppet anymore.

“You did that? You snitched on Rebekah?” Ethan asked, he didn’t seem mad.

“Yes” Y/N admitted. “How much did you hear?”

“Everything” the boy laughed. “Thank you”

Both girls stared at him in surprise. “Ethan, she handed me in!”

“You deserve it. You know, I should’ve known it was all an act” Ethan looked at Rebekah, there wasn’t any hint of sadness in his voice. Then, he looked at his ex-girlfriend and his eyes got glossy. He had never regretted something so bad “I’m sorry it took me that long to realize, Y/N/N. I love you”

Y/N smiled “I love you too”

“Do you forgive me?” Ethan asked hopeful, Y/N nodded.

“You two are ridiculous” Rebekah scoffed.

“Whatever, Rebekah. Enjoy seeing the swimming team compete without you” Y/N threw a fake smile at her, and then the girl left them alone, throwing curses as she walked away.

“When you left us alone the other day at the bench… I thought you had already moved on from me” Ethan confessed, as he hid his face on Y/N’s neck. “Not that I don’t deserve it”

“No! I so wanted to punch her in the face for using you, but I needed you to do her homework so I could turn her in” she explained.

Ethan laughed “You’re good”

“There’s nothing I do better than revenge” Y/N joked.

“I can think of a few things…”

Y/N blushed at the suggestion “Janitor’s closet. Now”

“God, I missed you” Ethan kissed her roughly as he led her to the closet.

[babiebom]

Where they fall in omegaverse Dynamics (stardew edition)

A/N: no i don’t know what’s wrong with me but now we all get to experience the inner workings of my mind :) enjoy OBVIOUSLY KIDS ARE NOT INCLUDED I was gonna do everyone but decided I didn’t know enough about a lot of the characters so only people I know :)this is hella old btw

Tw: sexual mentions, cursing, some insults to certain characters but like that’s not new here.

Genre: shitpost, headcanons

Masterlist

Alpha- top of the hierarchy. Dominant, and usually in charge. Hot heads and breeders.

Abigail- i think she would be an alpha that acts like a beta or omega. No one would actually know she’s an alpha until she loses her temper or goes off scent blockers or something.

Alex- typical dudebro and will be doing the breeding thank you. I feel like he would be a stereotypical alpha like this is a given.

Sebastian- DONT KILL ME PLS this is kinda biased because I know for a fact that I am literally Penny but an actual person and he is the one I am attracted to so naturally I want to put him here. I am probably delusional but I also think he could take charge so hmph.

Shane- can’t see him being bred bc i think he would be doing the breeding. When he takes control of his insecurities and stuff I think he could be super confident and leader like. Just needs to not be depressed.

Pierre- it’s his personality tbh. Like while I desperately do not want him to be in this category based on how much I dislike him, he would go into this category purely because of how he acts. He wants the most money, he’a the “man of the house” and provider, he has a temper he would just be an annoying alpha.

Kent- sexy hawt military man is obviously an alpha. There is no way he is being bred, there is no way he is going to be the homemaker, being an alpha is literally the only thing that makes sense for him.

Mr.Qi - he gives off alpha vibes, no omega or beta could be this confident and mysterious for absolutely no reason other than just being that way idk.

Evelyn - she gives off the vibes that when she and George were younger they were the “it’s fine/HE ASKED FOR NO PICKLES” couple. I think she could whoop somebody’s ass back in the day.

Robin- she is the woman with a business, she is providing, she is building, she is alpha no question about it.

Gunther- it’s the way he tips his hat idk. Also the way he’s just like “oh you don’t have any cool artifacts? Get out of my face then.” Maybe not that mean but like vibes.

Sandy- HAVE YOU SEEN HER? she is alpha, the would never be a beta or omega that is not her style at all sorry.

Marlon- man kills monsters for a living. Like no omega is going to waste time on that or even do that if I’m honest. Leave monster killing to the people who don’t have other things to do.

Pam- she gives off alpha that had their omega leave them vibes and that’s why she’s a crappy mother because it was not supposed to be her job.

Lance- literally a fighter/adventurer. The man protects and attacks he has to be an alpha, there is no way an omega can do this, and due to him being an active adventurer, and him being protective makes him more alpha than beta.

Olivia- an alpha mother that wants her beta son(spoiler) to be more like her. She active in getting money, or at least I think she has stocks. And she’s more ambitious than I think an omega or beta would be.

Andy-is this because he gives off asshole vibes? Mayhaps. He just seems like he’s an alpha whose family left him so he’s bitter at the world. A corpo slave to so where else would he go?

Suki- boss bitch that actually sneaks into the capital(or whatever it is) and steals and gets other people to give her contraband so she can sell it to bitches at a high price for her risking her life. Would never bow down to anyone.

Beta- in the middle simply because they are neither dominant nor submissive. They do not give off smells nor do they have heats or ruts. Basic people tbh.

Emily- she is just vibes. No amount of sex or heats or ruts or pheromones will bother her. She is above that and is too busy making clothes for birds.

Leah- I think she would literally just be middle ground because she gives off those vibes. Also because I think she could possibly end up with either an alpha or omega, it literally doesn’t matter to her.

Maru- she is literally just science. I am sorry but there is no time for breeding and going feral because of heats, she needs to make this robot and she needs to make it now.

Harvey- I also would’ve put him in Omega but since he is a doctor I feel like that means he is a beta. Like I don’t think alpha or omegas would be able to have this job since instincts and stuff are a major part in how they act. Betas would be able to ignore everything else and just work idk.

Clint- doesn’t give omega vibes but definitely is not an alpha. Like not to jump on the Clint hate train, but he gives off angry beta vibes that wishes he was an alpha. He doesn’t have confidence, and he seems like a loser tbh. He probably wishes he was an alpha to get Emily, or even any girl that he likes, but doesn’t realize that she and maybe even the rest don’t really care if he’s an alpha or not so he’s mad for nothing.

Morris- he is literally just a worker bee. No sex, no love, just working and getting to the top and having money. The man is only ruled by money, no amount of good smelling things and sexy prospects will entice him.

Willy- a man who just wants to fish. He also gives off alpha vibes, but I think he is too comfortable to be around and too chill and level headed to be an alpha. Love him.

Magnus- I think he just magically made himself a beta in order to not have any distractions. Was married once, it was a mistake, he impregnated a person that lives in Pelican Town (*cough* Caroline *cough*) and she went back to her husband so he doesn’t want any other distractions. It’s only time for magic and protecting the town.

Linus- cannot be an alpha or omega and be comfortable living alone in a tent. He is just a nature man and it would not make any sense for him to be anything but a beta.

Demetrius- like father like daughter, the only thing that matters is science he just somehow ended up with a hot wife. She is happy being a provider and he is happy doing his science.

Grandpa- I have no idea I refuse to put him under either because it’s either admitting he is fuckable and submissive or dominant and a fucker. Absolutely not.

Lewis- hate him he has baby balls with how he treats Marnie, yeah he’s a leader being mayor, but no true alpha would act like this. He’s an asshole that is making himself seem like an even bigger asshole in an attempt to seem like an alpha.

Victor- is only ambitious about things he cares about, which is similar to the others on this list. Doesn’t wish to really do anything with his life other than what he is passionate about, like bridges.

Susan- all she wants to do is be on her farm as far as I know. I would’ve put her in alpha but she doesn’t give off those vibes she just seems normal? Like she’s able to take charge but won’t if she doesn’t have to?

Omega - definition of submissive and breedable. At the bottom of the hierarchy and their main purpose is to breed and serve the alphas. Sadge.

PENNY- the literal definition of submissive and breedable. Like yes? This is her actual dream? She would love this.

Haley- has the personality of an Alpha but is not one. Just extremely bratty. The right person will make her submit naturally and not just because of her status.

Sam- sweet boy Sam is deffo an omega. Maybe not super submissive but I think that underneath the childishness he would be a good homemaker. Like I think that his relationship with his younger brother shows that he is on the more nurturing side rather than the I have to provide side.

Elliott- Elliott stans don’t hate me. But he gives off worshiper vibes and not the person being worshipped. Maybe it’s his love notes and letters but I think he would do good with an alpha he could serenade all day.

Caroline- I feel like only an omega could deal with Pierre. She always complains about him working all the time and how he behaves but she never does anything about it. Omega behavior.

Jodi- an omega that hates being an omega. She is in charge of child rearing, and is the homemaker but hates it. Wishes she could be a beta and wishes she could’ve waited to get married and have kids. She is so unhappy this is her biology.

George- Evelyn’s bitch. I’m sorry. But like we all know that George is Evelyn’s sub. Idc.

Marnie- the most obvious out of the villagers that isn’t a bachelorette. Like yearns for a family and marriage and romance. She wants it, she needs it, unfortunately attached herself to an asshole.

Gus- yes he is a business man, but all he cares about is feeding everyone and providing a place for them to Hang out. He is an omega that found his calling in serving people instead of having kids and we love him for it.

Sophia- this girl isn’t Alpha at all. Like bffr she’s depressed, shy, and quiet. And her hobby is cosplay. Girl is one hundred percent an omega. Even though she owns her parents company, I think she isn’t like business motivated, only is happy that it’s this company specifically and allows her to garden idk.

Claire- she is different from the others on this list. Because she is motivated, she wants to be an actress and does work and provide for herself. I think though if she met the right person that would provide while she chases her dreams she would like it. Even her hobbies seem soft to me (reading, ballet. )

[emilsendo]

Hii!! I saw you were doing requests and I read some of your works and I love your writing!! Could you do Toman with a partner who does dance- all styles but mainly ballet, jazz, and lyrical -and goes away for competitions and stuff?? Just stuff like it they’d go watch them or things like that? Idk I hope that makes sense, sorry💗💗

Hiya! I'm glad you like my writings, it makes me so happy :) I hope you will enjoy this post.

Mikey

The best boy ever.

At your competitions, he would be THE LOUDEST, 'cause he support ya will all his heart.

He is literally your Number one fan, and if someone will judge you because of your passion for dancing "'Cause that's cringe". Trust me, Dude. He will beat the living shit out of them.

He would act childish (nothing new) when you refused to go out together because you had to practice for a dance competition. He would try to bribe (force, ahem 👀) you to go with him.

Bro is the type to learn dance with you and call ya his "teacher", just to tease you.

Sometimes when you're dancing, you can see Mikey lying on the floor on his stomach, one hand supporting his chin while he looks at you with a smile and a loving face. Of course, he would then eat dorayaki too.

Draken

Supportive boyfriend af.

He would be like your bodyquard. He is very protective of his partner, so when they are begin bullied or judged by stares just because of their passion for something, he isn't afraid to end the stranger's life with strong punch in the face.

After every dance you do, he will clap with his hands and whistle with adoration, having a small smile on his face.

When you will try to teach him how to dance to some of the songs, I have to warn ya, he's stiff as hell.

He have a big secret. Ya want to know what? Bro tried to learn how to dance to one song, so he would not feel awkward when you will ask him to join you. But he failed miserably.

Keisuke Baji

He would dance with you, I think he have a thing to dancing too.

But he would laughs his ass off when he saw you dancing ballet....Don't get him wrong, he just find this type of dance funny.

Keisuke will always be there for you at your dancing competitions, even if it means failing a year because he forgot to study for a test.

If he found a nice song he likes, he will quickly go to you and ask you to make some dance system, so you both could dance to at your free time.

If he felt bored from watching you dance for too long. He would slowly approach you and then bite your neck to get you to pay attention to him.

Nahoya Kawata(Smiley)

This little bitch would distract you a lot.

He one time even played a romantic song without lyrics, while looking at you with this evil smile. Before saying "Oi, Y/N~ Can ya dance to this?😁"

Idk why, but I am feeling like he would "look" at your ass all the time xDD

If someone will judge you, I swear, Nahoya would give them the most sadist, bombastic slap they ever receive.

Please, have patient, 'cause the boy will be sometimes VERY annoying with his words and actions. Example: You're dancing to (type of music), while Smiley was sitting on the couch in your room. He was also eating VERY loudly a chips, he was doing it on purpose. After he ate them all, it was silence for a minute, before he process to call you without stopping. "Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! BAE! BAE! BAE! BAE! BAE!!!!", and when you answered "WHAT?!", this mf said "Nothin'😁".

Souya Kawata(Angry)

This cute blue bean would be embarrass while watching you dance.

He thinks that you're at some moments too attractive for him. Yea, that's true. Dancing makes you look hotter than you look, in his opinion.

When you will ask him to dance with you, he would not know how to make some steps to the music. But he wasn't bad too! Actually, he is kinda good at dancing.

He loves watching you dance jazz, ballet and lyrical. Even if he feels shy, he finds this whole thing beautiful to watch and listen. The movements you are making with grace and perfection, without any small mistake. It's just a peom for Souya.

Mitsuya Takashi

He would act like a supportive husband.

You have competition? He is there, supporting you with all his energy. You want him to watch you dance? He will do that, while giving you a lovely advice about some things in it. You need clothes for dancing? No problem! He'll sew you the most beautiful and elegant suit/dress ever.

He loves helping you with achieving your dreams, but he HATES when you're overdoing with practicing for competitions.

He feels like choking you for not listening to him about taking care of yourself!

Mitsuya went out of the kitchen and enters the room where you were dancing. He smiles at that sight, before he said with calm voice. "Y/N! Breakfast is ready, you have to eat somethin' to have energy for your training." When he noticed that you're too into your thing, he narrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest. "Coff Coff" He faked a cough. Catching your attention. "Are you again overdoing yourself? Y/N, we have talked about it..." If you would try to complain about giving you one more minute or some, he would raise an eyebrow and you already know what that means. NO.

Pah-chin

His yelly brain would not understand WHY you have this kind of hobby. He is finding dancing as a borning thing to do.

Don't ever ask him to join you, he will say "No".

At your competitions, he would bring you your fav snack as a reward.

He would sometimes forget about your competitions.....don't blame him! After he will realize that you have it, he would run as fast as he can, even if he hates running.

"*pants* I- AM! *pants* h-here!! *pants, pants* I would- NEVA forgot, *at the end of passing out*"

Chifuyu Matsuno

He would actually dance with you with a lot of enthusiasm.

Even if he doesn't know how to dance ballet or jazz, he would try to dance it while clinging to you affectionately at some time.

You two even got peke j to dance with you two. Ya all looked like a happy family.

He is your biggest fan, of course, Peke J is too.

He treats you like his private teacher, he wants to dance even a bit similar to you. So he need to learn from a master, right?

"Y/N, I am doing it good?" Chifuyu asked softly, as he repeat the same dance movement after he got your attention on him. "Almost perfect, you need to be a bit faster and less stiff with it. Let me help." You put your hand around his waist, making him blush a bit. Then your other hand showed him the right way of doing the dance move. When he did it right, he laughs happily and hugs you to thank you.

[judasgot-it]

You know what I’ve been thinking these days? If jouno had the chance to see how his workmates faces are. But I think when he became a hunting dog, he was already a hunting dog

🪻

OMG WAIT I've had headcanons about this.

I think jouno has ideas of what they look like, but they might be like. kinda off in some way.

like, i think teruko is probably the most accurate - shes a little girl in his head who looks a little annoying. the only thing that's off is her hair, i think he just assumes its black. same with her eyes.

if he ever did see her. wow. he wouldn't be too surprised but also he'd be mad about being called 'annoying peppermint bitch' all the time i bet - like, she has pink hair. really? at that point she was just making fun of herself.

fukuchi is also close i bet. teruko probably describes him in GREAT detail, but i dont think he REALLY knows some details. like how muscular fukuchi is (his six pack abs? his titties?) or how weird his hair is or his grinning face

he probably thinks he looks younger than he does. so seeing him would be weird. and i think he'd notice how sad fukuchi really is like, straight away. he is perceptive, it just his brain.

also he would probably be forced to watch fukuchis movies if he gained sight all of a sudden. he would hate it very very very much.

i like to think he's CONVINCED tecchou is ugly as hell sometimes. like, no way is he remotely attractive. why is he like that if he could get laid, right? bro uses the saddest bar soap alive, he has to have something weird

people tell him tecchou is hot, but he refuses.

then he sees him and is pissed as hell because:

bro has the ugliest ass haircut alive. he knows its long, but he was unaware tecchou thought that was a good idea

he has facial tattoos?

His eyelashes?

he never smiles? he knows he's happy or not from his heartbeat, but him not smiling? it's so weird to watch it. jouno now knows why he is asked by others if tecchou is mad or not - no one can tell by his face

he isn't ugly.

the worst is tachihara because i think jouno thinks he's like. a real delinquent - the kind who has a shaven head and a beaten lip and eyes that show that he killed a man

but no. tachihara just looks 19. he looks like a kid who plays pokemon. i think jouno would be disappointed - he doesn't look aggressive at all. jouno would steal his lunch money if he was still in a gang. he felt disappointed the most there, i think.

anyway idk, i think there would also be a heartfelt aspect too it but i remember some blind dude on youtube who mentioned that if he got his eyesight back (he was born blind tho, so he never really saw like. ever) then it would take him like weeks probably to adjust to seeing since he spent years orientation his life around a life without vision.

i think jouno would struggle to just be able to see, since his senses are so heightened. i think maybe he could see on a microscopic level or something if he got it back. or maybe not, these are just ramblings though

[heejayy]

Here’s my take on Hierarchy that no one asked for 😁 (spoilers below)

Overall this show was meh, it’s not as horrible as people tried to make it out to be. Was it boring? Yes, but for some reason I couldn’t stop watching. They focused too much on the pregnancy thing tho like ok? A teen got pregnant whoopty doo that happens like ALL THE TIME. Plus their families are filthy rich they could make that easily disappear let’s maybe focus on pfft idk the boy that got murdered?! The show progressed so slowly I give it a 4/10.

The 4 idiots

They were horrible friends to each other thats it just horrible.

Especially Hera she envied Jaei so bad, I don’t understand why? They were both rich, pretty and in the same friend group.

Then in the end she made Woojin pick between them and her

Kang Ha

His character was ok he’s one of my favorites

Felt horrible for what happened to his brother I wish he told him what was going on 🥲

I secretly hope he’s rich! Like he’s a little confident with playing in these wealthy people faces not to have some sort of back up plan.

He’s a cutie tho, and I hope he gets his revenge! I’m rooting for him 😝

Yun Hera

Certified hater for NO REASON 💀

Failed man stealer…like girl why you all up on your so called ‘childhood bestie’ man? He clearly didn’t want you

Needs to learn self respect 😬

Started to hate her a slightly less after she bitch slapped Jaei’s brother for the video he took. Glad she didn’t take it and use it against her.

Boring character but kinda entertaining to watch

Had a good giggle when her family went broke, and she still didn’t learn her lesson after that

Kim Rian

His character was useless…like this dude was beyond BORING

So emotionless, you’re suppose to be upset your girl isn’t talking to you but instead he looked like he never wanted to be there

He even looked bored while fist fighting Kang Ha lol

I will say he was a real one. I mean this man did not let up on Jaei! Even when she told him she never loved him, broke up with him and got with another dude in his FACE. He was still obsessed.

Also him and his little group of ‘Mean Boys’ were annoying.

Jung Jaei

Don’t have much to say about her

She’s another emotionless character…

I felt bad for her during the beginning but as the show progressed I stopped liking her just a tad.

But I do give her props for helping Hera out after her family went bankrupt because if that was me I wouldn’t have 😭 she went after her man and tried to ruin her image. Like girl fuck you

Also idky why she didn’t beat the breaks off her brother because I would’ve. He’s a little conniving little bastard 😒 and a pervert like ew! You filmed your sister having s3x and shared it. I’m not too well versed on the rules in South K. but that definitely is distribution of child p0rn.

Lee woojin

Babes UR A VICTIM

also my favorite character! And ridiculously fine! 😭

One of the few who’s acting was enjoyable to watch

Didn’t like him at first but he definitely grew on me. I couldn’t stop staring at his lips (not in a weird way) but they’re so plump! What lip plumper does he use?! I need it!

But getting back on track that teacher x underage student relationship threw me off like ew I hate seeing that trope in media it gives me the ick.

I’m glad he broke up with that teacher

But his character leaves me with a bitter feeling because he covered for that predator who offed Kang Ha’s brother 😑

Ms. Han

PREDATOR!

I hate her! She offed a high school student because he accidentally found out about her affair…how sick and twisted can you be? That means you knew it was inappropriate

I worry for people who find underage kids attractive, get someone your own age!

Needs to be in prison IMMEDIATELY!!

[moonchild-in-blue]

Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.

So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.

My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?

Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).

Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.

Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?

Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.

I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.

[sorcerous-caress]

Witnessing you play pathologic 2 is such a fucking trip bc like?? I own both 1 and 2, but I’ve only actually played pathologic 1 and like?? How in the blue fuck do you have 15 shmowders????? I think I got like- 6 in my entire playthrough- I was not doing well with my quests tho so that probably contributed but??? 15??????

16 now just baught some from my buddy ol'pal dead items shop man on day 7

But if you want an actual answer

Shmowder kid

Find a building with shmowder kid in it, exist and enter until they have the shmoder in their inventory for trade. 10% spawn chance.

Rare cache farming

I save before 7:30 when cache reset. Then I go and check all the assigned "rare" caches with a chance of spawning shmoders, usually 3-6 each day. They're scripted so they never change locations. I reload until I'm sure at least two of them have shmoders then bag it quickly. 20% spawn chance per rare cache.

Rob people

You don't find shmoders, but you aquire nut funds for your shmoder supplier kid. Basically get the cape and all the protective gear, waltz into infected houses with at least 8 immunity boosters then go haywire and grab all nuts you can find.

Quests?

Only two give a guarantee Shmoders so uhh...maybe if you feel like it? I did them either way.

Here is my progress so far

I could squeeze 3/4 more shmoders out of my plug girlie, but I'm running low on food, so I rather trade them for eggs instead. Plus, I'll get 2 more when it hits 7:30 from caches.

I'm saving up for the shotgun! Maybe a revolver too idk.

I found out brewing antibiotics is annoying so I rather trade for them instead, but + immune boosters are a must.

The town so far is good, I gotta start repairing water sources.

I think Peter's infection is scripted because he had like 75% chance to NOT get infected, lost twice in a row when I reloaded.

Eh, he's not one of my bounds so Imma wait for Daniil to come begging on his knees for a shmoder.

Side note, Artemy is so fucking stunted when talking to women he is attracted to. It's almost hilarious.

Meanwhile, compare it with his flirting with men, and he becomes as smooth as silk.

Artemy is so down bad for Rubin it's sad and funny at the same time.

It's like a love triangle i can't. Artemy wants childhood sweethearts romance with Rubin, but Rubin keeps rejecting him for big city dandy educated Bachelor of medicine, but Daniil is tripping over his own feet trying to subtly (failing) to get closer and more intimate with hunky bottom surgeon Artemy.

Making us "indebted" to him.

Trying to get us to be his "Aide"

By day 6, we're drinking buddies. He even ADMITS how his arrogance hurts him and is a bad trait. IN LESS THAN A WEEK OF MEETING US.

DANIIL ADMITING A MISTAKE, A FAULT, BY HIMSELF AND NOT UNDER THE THREAT OF A RIFILE.

I'm still not over how he invites us to EVA'S house, doesn't tell her and doesn't inform the hunching brooding gaint Artemy that a soft hearted woman lives where he's squatting at for free and instead let her panic at seeing Artemy bust in unannounced.

"The milkman" I FUCKING CANNOT. Daniil is the roomate who's late on rent, keeps flirting with you to make you forget that he is late on rent, then his grinder date shows up unannounced.

Daniil is so much nicer than people made him seem? Idk, maybe I'm too autistic to pick up on his normie passive-aggressive condescension-which feels very in character for Artemy-but also, he just seems like a decent swell guy!

Kinda useless, but he's trying his best without time turning protagonist active player powers!

If anything, he's too friendly. He asks US to be his aide? Even when it's clear that Artemy didn't attend a single day in school all of his life.

Because let's be real.

"Where did you graduate??"

"Medical...school"

ARTEMY YOU DUMB BITCH I LOVE YOU BUT IT'S TIME TO BEG FOR SPARE BRAINCELLS ON THE STREET.

Daniil's "you don't have to watch your tongue with me" omfggggf

The sabotaged water sources must be getting to Daniil's head for him to act this thirsty in a makeshift hospital IN PUBLIC.

Artemy is clearly someone that Daniil would absolutely look down on MORE than he would to the average person, and yet how does he treat us?

Like what the fuck were those youtubers about???? Daniil is so nice oh my god. I had completely the wrong idea. He is so helpful and friendly, not once did I feel antagonised by him.

Also, I didn't insult him, ever. So he never replied with any insulting comment. You treat him with respect, and he does the same. It's endearing!

He entrusts us and confides in us! He clearly values our input and help. He vents to us and listens to our theories!

Side note, people's reaction to Artemy's height and gaint size is gold.

Also, I think they have a kink for his hands because of the whole surgeon thing, like come on, it gets mentioned TWICE?

there is also this time where Artemy had a nightmare that he was sleeping through class, and for some reason, Daniil was just ???? In the corner ??? For misbehaving?

He barely met the guy and he already figured out how 90% of his time in the education system must have went.

also Artemy REALLY likes cats and dogs.

First he calls himself like a Kitten, then he says Murky is like a cat and finally:

Artmey is just phenomenal in this.

I bought the first Pathologic HD Classic today, too! It was on sale for so cheap my god it felt like highway robbery.

See this loser wet cat kiddo right here?

I will behead every man, woman, child and elderly in this entire town with a rusty Axe if even one of them touches a single hair on his head.

[euphorroria]

Some of my thoughts about Lucifer/Lilith. Please ignore at your leisure lol

Lucilith annoys me at the moment. I feel like people act like their chemistry is the best in Hell, simply because of their Jessica/Roger Rabbit silhouette. Tall beautiful queen and her short silly husband.

Lilith hasn’t even had any speaking lines yet, so her personality is just not there atm. There’s no chemistry I can see for that reason. Unless Vivienne got real creative with her, idk if I’m ever gonna be into this pairing. Not accounting for my straight fatigue and hetero repulsion which could make me biased, but I think I have a point.

I’m kinda worried Vivienne didn’t get that creative though. Like, it’s not enough to make a relationship interesting to be like “oh yea, she tops him”. That’s super bare minimum to me.

If bad bitch milf is her only personality trait I’m gonna continue being bored. Maybe I’m wrong though, maybe she will be a really interesting character. I’m certainly interested in the mystery around her, but that doesn’t make a compelling character on its own.

Also, Lucifer IS short and silly but he’s also drop dead gorgeous and sexy as holy fuck, and has so many flaws and sooo full of personality, I might just be gay but comparing him to Lilith, she just looks like every typically attractive skinny blonde model popularized in the 80’s. She is very unremarkable looking compared to Lucifer, when people talk about how she’s the most beautiful being in hell I’m like, where? She’s pretty but so is everyone else in Hell. So, already the Morticia and Gomez visual dynamic isn’t there.

I feel the same way about her face as I do Adam’s, they are both very average faces. (Also they are white, why are the first humans white, why oh why oh why was that the final decision)

So until her personality is shown there’s no chance that Lucilith has any intrigue to me. I’m not including Eve because we know even less about her than we do Lilith.

Also she was made from Adam’s rib, and I don’t wanna get into the implications that that would technically mean she’s made from Adam’s DNA. Bible is fucked up.

Then even if you don’t believe that, the innocence only lasts until the generation after them needs to procreate. That’s some unavoidable and very gross territory when talking about the genesis creation narrative.

Just wanted to inject my inconsequential thoughts onto the internet, thank you for indulging me, I reaaally like Lucifer if that wasn’t clear.

[malachiexists13]

Would I Punch This Character?: [KNY] Uppermoon Edition

These are based on the little info I have so, maybe update post sometime in the future. Also I know I didn’t do Nakime but shhhhhhhhhh. 

------------------------------------------------------

Uppermoon 6: Kaigaku 

Opinion: Apparently the male demons are meant to be ugly but this dude proves that wrong. But also loserr lmaoo. Imagine challenging Koku to a fight and then LOSING and then deciding to serve under grandpa mcgee over there. He’s also the reason Zenitsu doesn’t HAVE a grandpa anymore! 

Conclusion: Yes. Beat his bitch ass. 

Uppermoon 6: Daki 

Opinion: You can just TELL she’s mean by the way she smiles. Annoying as fuck too. Like, spoiled brat much? AND SHALLOW TOO- Not a fan, especially of how I’ve seen some people take the way she dresses as the cue to sexualize her. Ya’ll do realize that she’s still mentally a 13yr old girl, right? 

Conclusion: I am not above punching a child. Especially if that child annoys me. Just don’t tell Gyutaro.  

Uppermoon 6 (real): Gyutaro 

Opinion: I know he’s meant to be ugly. And he is, don’t get me wrong. But like, it just works for him. He’s ugly, but he’s so ugly that he’s attractive, you feel me? But also everytime I look at him, all I can think of is that one scene in the Entertainment District when he’s petting Tanjiro’s hand and without any context or dialogue, it seems kinda sweet, but then Gyutaro reaches down, grabs Tanjiro’s hand and just fucking snaps two of his fingers and start maniacally laughing. Like bro, you ruined the moment!!

 Conclusion: Bro, he’ll break my fucking hand. I need that to draw and write. 

Uppermoon 5: Gyokko 

Opinion: I don’t know what the fuck I just looked at. Put it back in the pot. He’s the supporting argument to the “male demons in kny are hideous” claim, what the fuck. WHY ARE THERE MOUTHS WHERE HIS EYES SHOULD BE?? WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A TERRIFYING MERMAID?? 

Conclusion: I do not want to touch that with a 100ft pole. Burn it. 

Uppermoon 4: Hantengu 

Opinion: Idk much about him? He has like, split personality or something. 

Conclusion: Eh. Sure, why not. Might die in the process but at least I’ll get to say I punched upper 4 for no reason. 

Uppermoon 3: Akaza 

Opinion: Basketball lookin’ ass. Like cool, he respects women, he has a wife, he looks like a basketball, he killed Rengoku, anything else? He hates Doma? He refuses to eat women and exclusively eats men? Sounds kinda gay to me /j 

Conclusion: He’d punch me back and then I’d die. 

Uppermoon 2: Doma 

Opinion: Imma get flammed but I don’t hate Doma, nor do I love him. Like, I do not give a fuck that he eats women or lacks emotion. Like cool, he’s a sociopath, he grew up in a fucking cult what do you expect? Also Daki and the swamp demon eat women too so if we gonna judge Doma, judge them too. The swamp demon SPECIFICALLY eats 16yr olds. But yeah. Equality. Don’t judge someone for the circumstances of their childhood. And if you judge one demon for eating women, judge all who dared to eat a woman. 

Conclusion: He’d call me a bully but.. Sure. Gotta test out the new metal bat (with nails!) on someone, right? 

Uppermoon 1: Kokushibo 

Opinion: He’s the prettiest one, out of the men. But also, a cannibal. Like, (dunno if this is true or not, but I’ve heard it enough times to joke about it-) apparently (hear that? apparently. IT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE AND I AM NOT SAYING IT IS.) Kokushibo will eat the demons who dare to challenge him for his position after beating them. Like bro, wtf, first you destroy their pride, then you take their life?? Nom nom I guess. But I also like to headcanon that he has multiple eyes covering his face because Muzan didn’t wanna be reminded of Yoriichi in any way. And I use him as an example against Muzan’s shit behavior. So thank you, Koku, for existing. 

Conclusion: The fuck? I think he’s pretty but I don’t simp hard to want him to EAT ME. BECAUSE HE PROBABLY WOULD IF I HIT HIM. 

Demon King: Muzan Kibutsuji 

Opinion: Ya’ll, it’s the ultimate Grandpa! Grandpa McGee!!!! Haha.. I hate him. I don’t like people who take advantage of others for their own selfish gain. Especially when they’re emotionally vulnerable. Fuck you, Muzan. 

Conclusion: I MIGHT HAVE TO GO MEET GOD BUT I DON’T FEAR THE CONSEQUENCES. BEAT HIS BITCH ASS. JUSTICE FOR LITERALLY EVERYONE HE KILLED, EVEN IF THEY DESERVED IT. THEY HAD TO SEE HIS FACE BEFORE THEY DIED, HOW UNFORTUNATE. 

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[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Broflovski/ Eric Cartman (SP fic)

('What's up with the fatass?')

/Let me slide into your mind/ part 4

'Technically, I'm not gay if I'm testing, right?'

Slight warning ⚠️ this fic is kinda deranged and would probably (will) be outta the ordinary, wacky in a sense but also trauma? Maybe, idk could be? Mmhh..

~~~~~~~

He was stoked by the confession, couldn't even manage to bare a retort back with some snarky comment. A brief silence, a light breeze brushing their way.

He looked at Jackson's green eyes, as the sunset reflected on them. Making this all feel even more like a fever dream.

He chuckled nervously, not sure if the feeling he felt was flattery or uneasiness.

How the hell is he gonna get out of this?

On one hand, Jackson was Stewart's best friend: who is seemingly the leader; he was also a very important part of their friend group and they wouldn't bat an eye to trow him out to the gutter over Jackson.

So if he were to reject Jackson now, would that demolished all opportunity to still be friends? Would they kick him out? Would they target him again?

It's not like it's his fault that Jackson was some gaywad and was madly in love with him, but they will definitely side with nerd geek over his coolness.

On the other hand, he also sorta liked Jackson? Not in the gay way ofcourse, but he's warming up to him. Also, Jackson was the first to talk to him and even somewhat got along when he first arrived in this damn town.

He's been nice, a little hot headed but he is also kinda into that aswell, helping him with studying, oddly enough they do get along and they also share a certain type of humor aswell!

It'd be a pity if he ruined a possible great ally over some dumb crush. Besides, he's fucking rich.

And he doesn't make a big fuss over him taking over and picking what they'll watch on Netflix in his big flat tv unlike Tolkien.

He was finding it quite difficult to pick what to do, it's not like Jackson was bad looking.. not the type you'd be horrified by even the thought of holding his hand type of way. He in fact is quite attractive for a guy, no homo, but he COULD endure being in a relationship with him if it were necessary..

".. y-you can't be serious are you?" He mustered out, expecting to be contradicted and be told it was just a fucked up joke.

Jackson hold on to his hands making him eye him weirdly, his mouth flattened, "I've never been this serious in my entire life, Eric."

The way he said it made it all seem like some kdrama rom-com, his eyes landed on to his lips then back to Jackson's eyes feeling nauseous.

This was.. different.

His heartbeat pounded recklessly, as he felt his eyes squinted shut, maybe expecting something more unintentionally leaning forward.

But the entire mood was interrupted by two other obnoxious boys.

"Goddammit, took you long enough!" Stewart shouted, as he walked towards them alongside Hershey who brushed some leaves off him coming from behind a tree.

"You guys ruined the mood, assholes," Jackson groaned annoyed, rolling his eyes and letting go from one hand still latching on to the other.

"A confession shouldn't take that long," Stewart complained, as he shoved his hands inside his pants.

"Yeah, it's been like two weeks and dog park hadn't gotten the hint at all," Hershey huffed as if he was the one desperate for it to be over.

"I would've made him my bitch by now if I were you," Stewart kept on rambling, "like, it's not hard to say 'I like you, be mine' or some shit like that."

"You lack skill," Hershey joined in the mutual bashing on their friend's timing.

He felt himself small, looking at the three as they banter like if he had actually said yes to Jackson's confession, as he had no other choice but to be his—

"Wait, you said this been going on for awhile?," he mustered out confused, it wasn't long since he's got there.

"Ha, you blind fuck. I guess southies lack attention skills too? Ofcourse it was. Why would you think we'd even let you in our friend group to begin with?" Stewart commented casually but was nudged lightly from Jackson as a 'that's enough' kinda way, earning a eye roll from the redhead as a response, "you've gone soft," he mustered.

He felt like he wanted the ground to swallow him, that only means one thing. Saying 'no' will be his dismay, he'll be cast aside if he were to reject Jackson.

He bit his lip, contemplating the situation he's put in. He hangs out with Jamie but that wouldn't be enough to not be targeted, and he doubted the brunette would even care if he were.

Unlike with these assholes he felt a sense of security, a place he can run off to and shield himself from being a tp loser.

"Jackson approached you with all intention to fuck you, he saw you walking near our neighborhood while we were skateboarding looking like you were about to pass out and in his eyes you were the most—," Hershey teased deviously, before being nudged angrily by the blonde.

"Okay, guys that's enough," he blurted out embarrassed, putting his attention on his own quietness.

"He's into bigger boys," Stewart added with a wicked grin, now Jackson shoved him aside as he snickered and ruffled his blonde locks playfully.

"So you two going out now or what?," Hershey then spoke after a brief silence and some rough play from both best friends.

He couldn't help himself feel flustered, if his actual friends were there they'd bash on him for being a complete gaywad or even saying something remotely gay. Which is why he retrained himself by doing many things like; karaoke or dressing himself up and dancing with cut out celebrities he liked, makeup, tea parties or gushing over stuff animals, painting his nails and trying out his mother's heels..

Not that he's gay, but he genuinely did enjoy those things.

But these dumbasses? They don't seem to care at all.. they even expected him to act a little gay...

"Maybe.." he blurted out, startling Jackson who looked his way with sparkling eyes and blushed face.

Okay, he was kinda cute.

°°°°

So it's official, he's now dating Jackson Hu. You may ask, what're the benefits of being the blonde's boyfriend?

They're plenty, in a matter of fact. There wasn't even a single student that had said anything negative his way or any tp comments. On the contrary, he's been making a lot of new friends!

They actually approached him with all intention of wanting to befriend him and hang out. Unlike with the southies they always nagged and nagged that he was some burden they couldn't just get rid off.. and as much as that shit did kinda hurt him, he wouldn't deny he hated them aswell!

These north parkers had made him somewhat feel welcome even if they started with a rough start. They invite him to parties, games and do shit together! Yes, they were common bashing and naming, but that's just typical kids behavior.

They treated him like an actual friend than some pest. And are even very openly affectionate to each other, unlike with his old gang that type of affection was mostly excluded from him and exclusively just a 'bff' thing only the gay bitches of Stan and Kyle had, and sometimes Kenny.

Ofcourse Kenny has time in time proven to him that he does care and he doesn't mind being all open for a hug from Eric Cartman, compared to Hippie dick and Jersey jew that would immediately make an assumption that he was scheming some shit or they'll just stand awkwardly not daring to do something back.

They weren't very opened with hugs or hand holding when it came to the three, not that he couldn't say the same, by that point it was just too weird and kinda an anomaly. He felt he had a whole different thing going on between his dynamic with Stan and Kyle, contrast with Butters and Kenny.

He could be freely emotionally himself with the blondes but with the 'super best friends'? He just couldn't, it was always a hesitating thought and just searching for a opportunity to do so.

He could count the times they had hugged with all intention to do it, with his fingers.

They weren't as evenly close as he'd would like..

But the kids from North park, his now gang. They're so— chill, and cool. And never excluded anyone from giving some love, maybe because they kinda acted like hippies? Even though they claimed just being liberals or some pretentious shit like that.

He could hug Stewart who is the most jock douche of the group outta nowhere and he wouldn't even bat an eye! He'll hug him back or pat him lightly like an actual bro.

Not that he's touched starved ofcourse but..

It actually feels nice.

Other of the good perks of being Jackson's boyfriend, is that he feels more freeing on being more himself in a sense?

He can do things he'd normally think pussies would do, being reassured by his friends and boyfriend that the things he liked didn't defined his sexuality and all that lame opened minded shit.

He loved it, he also liked how Jackson looks at him, and call him by pet names.. even the pecks on his cheek before entering class or being walked home. It made him feel fuzzy and funny..

Also, being completely loaded he buys him stuff! Shoes and sometimes even dresses cause he somehow found out he liked drag!

And his friends, they are willing to try things his southie friends would call him lame for! They even gone to a karaoke and sang together.

But not only that has changed, but he's feeling a little different since his move. The town really is making him shift in to some.. he couldn't recall what, but he feels he could change for the better being.

He also noticed a huge change on his mom too!

She turned PC not long ago.. he wasn't entirely sure what started it but she did mentioned she turned a member at work and that she'd be a better mom from now on, the typical shit he's already use to hearing from her emotional outburst or when she's drunk.

But he's noticed she has kinda kept her word for it, the other day he mentioned about feeling a little insecure about his weight now that he had a boyfriend and all, she actually talked to him like them parents he'd see on TV 'tell me more, I'd like to be of help' 'you know you're perfect in every way, you don't have to change who you are for anyone' 'if he doesn't like the way you are then he isn't for you' 'I think you should try doing a diet if that makes you feel any better but you really are beautiful, poopsikins' giving him actual advice instead of running away!? Actually listening to him instead of distracting him with toys and food.

They also been getting along better and they talk more, his mom even admitted to him that she's been feeling lonely for years now and that loneliness just drove her into making him her only friend and she now realized how bad that truly is for his development. He even admitted how much it affected him to not actually have a father figure in his life, the absence and hollowness it felt everytime he saw his friends bond with their dads. And it was all just emotional and heartwarming moment between the two. A bunch of sobbing and apologetic promises that he wasn't sure they'll actually commit.

Maybe they could fix things out or maybe not? Only time will decide.

He layyed on his bed recalling his mother's words once more, feeling a tight feeling in his chest, hiding under the covers with a soft smile.

North park kinda rules.

°°°°

He was panicking, Jackson had stolen him a quick kiss on the lips. It was a small brush but he felt like he was swooning, being swooped up in the air by his strong arms as he carried him bridal style to the nursery cause he clumsily sprained his ankle in p.e class.

"How you're feeling, babe?" He asked softly, while he couldn't help but look at him dreamily.

"Good.." he mustered with a dumbfounded smile, gripping on to his shirt, butterflies popped inside his stomach. And with out further hesitation he place his hands on his cheeks and made him leaned forward, planting a passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck as he felt Jackson deepening it before breaking it off.

Still inches apart, "Goddamn that was amazing.." he mustered out dumbfounded, eyeing him soft, "maybe I should carry you often if that makes you want to kiss me like that more," he admitted with a cheeky grin, nuzzling his nose against his.

"Maybe you should..?" He teasingly said, eyeing him playful before planting a small peck on his lips.

In a blink of an eye, after a couple of days

They were found making out furiously in the living room couch of his mansion. He couldn't help himself, he was feeling deluded by all of things Jackson did to him, he wanted to be touched, kissed, the pleasure it gave him when he'd grabbed his waist and pulled him closer. It was amazing.

'Technically, I'm not gay if I'm testing, right?'

He gripped on the blonde's t-shirt, making him mumbled a couple of 'mmph' before being sunk in deeper on to the couch, hearing him whisper sweet nothings to him as a voice echoed the room, snapping him out of him.

"Cartman~" Jackson kept murmuring his name against his neck, but not with his usual voice, it was..

He pushed him away with his hands against his boyfriend's chest slightly, as his eyes widen in contemplated horror.

"Kyle?"

Kyle found himself on top of him looking at him with a devilish smile, before grinning wide like a triumphant.

"AHHH!!!" He screamed like a chick that was about to get murder in some classic 90s horror movie, pushing him off from his lap as he rested his weight on his elbow still eyeing the boy.

Now vision getting clearer, as a concerned Jackson looked his way.

"Babe are you alright? Who the fuck is Kyle?" He asked, standing up; as he had fallen to the floor by being pushed so abruptly.

He panted heavily, still grasping some air as he clenched hard on to his chest, this shit is gonna give him a heart attack.

"Is this because you miss your old town? Is that it?" Jackson still continued to asked worrisome, before biting his lip as he contemplated something looking at the floor.

"Y-yeah.." he managed to mustered, still, the scare was still haunting him.

Jackson look at him with pitying eyes, "do you want.. I can give you your password, maybe that'll make you feel better? Only if you promise me you would be discreet about it?" He tried reassuring, approaching cautiously and sitting far in the other end of the couch.

"U-huh, that'd be awesome, thanks.." squinting his eyes shut and nodding fanatically, he took this as a good opportunity to talk with Kenny, he hasn't been able to contact him in so long.

He gulped hard, sweat falling drastically as if a bucket of water had been splashed on his face, now looking at Jackson's eyes, feeling himself get calmer with each passing second.

Being back home, he let out a long tiresome sigh, the episode from early still was eating him at whole, he needed to calm down or he could mess things up with Jackson.

He grabbed his laptop and typed in the password and email Jackson gave him.

And lord and behold, he was now online.

Another thing he had to do was change his number, as people there would recognized immediately the area code of South Park. Bad thing about it, is that his now friends erased all his contacts excluding his mom and family (cousin and uncle's) luckily for him, he did manage to slip out saying Butters was a cousin when he notice his friends doings.

Finally back on his old account '@ EricCart_brah' he looked for Kenny's active status, he knew by this hour he'd be back home and scrolling endlessly on his phone ignoring his parents common arguments.

Kenny Mccormick online•

He bit his lip, he knew Kenny would demand answers because he's clearly been 'ignoring' him, which is why he told Butters to calm Kenny's tits down and tell him that he was just really busy, which wasn't far from the truth. In reality he was busy, being a North Parker wasn't easy you know!

'Sup poor boy' common, not too desperate, and quick to the point.

He waited a couple of dreaded seconds, as he looked at his screen. Kenny was taking his damn sweet time to read his message, longer than usual, oh, he must really be pissed. It was definitely on purpose cause Kenny would immediately reply back to him once receiving a message while being actively online the only times he wouldn't answer back immediately was when he was doing his shifts or walking Karen home from school.

It was their best friend thing to always prioritize their messages over anyone else's, they kinda agreed on doing it out of spite because Stan and Kyle once ignored them on the group chat a couple of years ago sliding into a roblox server with out them. Fucking dicks. They still couldn't somehow let that go.

After a minute, he finally read it, but it was left on seen. He frowned, 'Goddammit, kinny,' he thought.

'Typing...'

Those three minutes were torturous coming from Kenny.

Meanwhile he waited for Kenny to stop bitchin' with him, he scrolled through his inbox, he had two unread messages from Kyle and one from Stan, ofcourse he didn't bother answering so he left them unread, they're bitches anyways, and because they were very old messages too, like a day after his move and Stan's was at 3:00 am pretty much while he was still on the road to get to North park. But there was also messages from both Clyde and Craig, these weren't entirely far apart from the day he left south park but he was curious.

'Hey, fatboy, pleaseeeee come back I beg you🙏🏼' that was pretty much it with Clyde, sometimes he wondered if that dude was okay from the head, cause damn what gives?

And Craig's was just a '🖕🏼' he rolled his eyes, hoe.

*Ding*

About fucking time.

'Took you long, u got bored of your little north dickers?'

He snickered, now HE got his sense of humor.

'C'mon, Butt's didn't gave u mah mezzage?'

'He did'

'Okay, so Y u bitchin at me?'

'What's with the new account? Embarrassed by your people, fatboy?'

'Iz da it? U worried I forgot about u?'

'Seen'

Goddammit, 'I would never, asshole 🙄 yk I've been buzy with my move'

'Why r u writing with typos? I saw u got nice grammar in ur dumb np page'

'U stalkin me?'

'Yes, what're u gonna do about it? Send me a grenade via inbox?'

"Hahahaha!" He laughed out loud by Kenny's ridiculous shit talk, how he missed that.

'Don't be an ass🤣'

'Your so dumb...'

'*you're' he couldn't help but slapped himself in the head, what was all that about? Why did he correct that shit, he's acting like the dumb jew now.

'Sure, bitch. Okay, so how's it been?' Atleast Kenny seemed to shrugged it off easily, neither did he seemed angry anymore.

'Itz been good but itz lame ass fuck, wbu anything going on over there?'

'Not really, everything seems to mellow out since ur fat ass left town'

'Aye! Stfu!'

'It's true tho, everything is as boring like when we took that hunting bunny exhibit'

'Ugggh don't remind me🥱'

'Man, when would u come visit? Or is it like a temporary thing? C'mon tell me *dick sticker*'

'Not sure tbh, just hang in there got things handled from a tea just u wait👌🏼'

'This is my new number btw (+1)***-***-**** don't give it to those assholes of Stan and Kyeeel'

Kenballz added (+1) ***-***-**** to his contacts.

'U still angry at them for the party?'

'Nah... just want to be a dick to them thatz all'

'Fair'

'Gotta go, ttyl?'

'Sure'

He sighed exhausted sliding out from Kenny's dms, looking at the hour an it was just 2 am. Maybe he should give a peek at the hippie's message?

Stan Marsh offline• 25 min ago

'Hey, Cartman. Sorry about earlier, yk me and Kyle didn't mean to actually just not give a damn about you..

I kinda really feel bad about it rn.. hope you can forgive me? Even so, I wish you luck with the move. Ik how difficult it is to adjust to the changes but Ik you'll manage better than I ever did:)'

Way to make it gay Stan, he sighed, getting off from the couch and heading to his room in a slouch. In all honesty, he really wasn't angry at them, he kinda actually expected them to act like dicks? But still, something about Kyle just pissed him off, but being angry at Stan was very hard to do. He was so emotional and for some reason he pity him for it.

Maybe that's why he had a weak heart for Stan.

He layyed down reluctantly, opening his laptop once more, might aswell look at kyel's, or curiosity will get the best of him.

Kyle Broflovski offline• 2 hrs ago

'Hey fatass'

'Fuck u then'

Well, that was short and quick. He huffed throwing his laptop to his side, covering himself with his blanket kinda pissed off and dozing off to sleep.

°°°°

"Damn, theres a lot of people in your town," He said in a 'awe' looking at the crowd of people surrounding the mayor hall.

"Our town now, fatboy," Stewart added, wrapping a arm around his neck.

He blushed, they're very welcoming and friendly to him for some reason all of a sudden. Maybe he's been doing so damn good so far, his act has already went beyond the limits of fantastic, cause it seem his tp vibes weren't as strong as when he first arrived. He smiled accomplished.

Jackson eyed him from his side with a small wink.

He beamed even harder, he felt his cheeks stiffened by how much he was smiling that day.

He wrapped his arms around Stewart's waist resting his head against him while seeing the mayor walked towards the microphone.

"It's a nice evening today for our beautiful town," He began, it was an old man probably in his mid fifties, grey hair and had one of those fancy suits on.

"Today we've managed to make a great accomplishment, being at a rate of 55% of popularity," the man beamed proudly at the crowd.

The crowd roared cheerful, he even heard his friends shout '¡fuck yeah!'

He honestly didn't quite understand about the popularity ratings that was going on between states, but he honestly cared less it wasn't his problem.

"If we keep our rating up, will be in the 90% in lesser than a month," the man fist upwards to the air, "but that's not all, we've been given news that were offered for a possible show next fall!"

Everyone gasped, and he was left confused, just arching a brow.

'Who'd want to watch a show about some dumb town?,' he couldn't help but think about how lame that was, but said nothing. His friends seemed to be stoked about the idea.

Maybe that was his southie side speaking in him.

"Now moving that aside, time for the announcement for the winner of next judge for this yearly cat costume competition!" The man exclaimed, causing some of the people watched eagerly as the mayor took out a small piece of paper from the box to announce the winner.

"And the winner for this yearly competition is— Eric cartman?"

The people gasped as they all eyed him, even he was left bewildered.

He didn't recall ever written his name in that slip.

"It's the southie" he heard a man whispered, and a couple of others murmured.

But later roared cheerfully as they boost him upwards with their hands dragging him still dumbfounded to the stage.

"Go, Eric!" He heard his boyfriend screamed from afar, as he stepped on the stage, seemingly still confused.

He smiled awkwardly as he approached the mayor.

"Seems the town picked you for the role, it was just destined to happen," The man stated before gesturing the crowd to applaud.

He gulped seeing all those people cheering for him, it really boosted his ego and pride.

All the admiration he craved is now becoming overwhelming in a matter of seconds, the fact he just doesn't know, unaware of what's not knowledgeable maybe that's why he felt that hidden unease squeezing feeling inside his stomach.

After all that, he walked down stage and was greeted once more by his boyfriend who hugged him tightly.

"Congrats, baby nuts."

"I- I really don't know how my name got there?"

"Who cares? You got such an honorable role being from Shart Park," Stewart chimed in, approaching them with Hershey by his side.

"I suppose.. but I really don't know my role or anything?"

"Don't worry about it, we'll tell you everthing you need to know for the big day," Hershey added with a grin, "btw, Jacky your parents were looking for you just now."

Jackson groaned, "no fucking way, seriously? My god.."

"What's wrong, babe?" He eyed him curiously.

"It's- it's nothing, Eric," he shrugged giving a look at Stewart.

How fucking weird, he hated being excluded from shit.

Another day ended, and by that point and on he learned that this cat festival was a honoring tradition, the competition however was just as important than the actual festival itself so it was necessary to not mess it up or his reputation will go down the line. He did wonder why the hell they'd pick him for it, but it was way too beneficial to bail out from, he also liked that he was being recognized more by his name than by the town he was born in.

He looked through his clothing finding a perfect outfit for the evening, ignoring the voices from his head, the constant whispers and the small curses against him. Kyle's voice resonated in him like a damn devil, a curse yearning to release it's dangerous magic on him.

He wasn't sure why Kyle out of all people would be the one to haunt him. Okay, now that he thinks about it, he may be certain of why.

Ofcourse Kyle would be capable of doing that! He has always been envious of his luck and awesomeness, who wouldn't want to curse him more than Kyle ever did?

'Eric~'

"Shut the fuck up, kahal!" He screamed out, covering his ears.

'C'mon, Eric don't be such a wuss'

"I'm no wuss!"

'Ofcourse you are, fat boy'

"Aye! I ain't fat you dumb jew!"

'Don't belittle my people, fatass!'

"So stop using your dumb magic on me, and leave me alone!"

'Never, you're a traitor. A imposter'

"What're you talking about?""

'You really think these north pussies give a fuck about you? You're just a southie for them-'

"That's not true I'm changing!"

'No, you can never change. You got it in your blood, Eric. You'll be for ever be a bigoted south park faggot–'

"¡Shut up!" He hissed out, everything went silent and he no longer heard Kyle, "¡shut the fuck up!" He kept on whining while squinting his eyes shut, trying to shut all the demons out, falling on his knees now gripping on to his hair.

It was night time, meaning the beginning of the festival has now started, Jackson picked him up walking from hand to hand to the center of town. He visualize all the cute cats everywhere. He couldn't help but feel a pit in his stomach thinking about Mr kitty.

He still can't believe his mother forgot to bring Mr kitty! But he shouldn't have trust her knowing damn well she took some crack beforehand.

His cat would've been the cutest among all, sadly she would not be able to participate in such wonderful event.

'Maybe if you actually stayed in south park instead of moving your ass over here. You wouldn't be struggling about your cat, fatass'

"Quit it, Kahal! Not now" he hissed in a whisper as he side eyed his boyfriend who was seemingly distracted by some decorations.

Ofcourse Kyle wouldn't let him enjoy his night, his gonna follow him until he fucks up something.

'Don't blame me, this place sucks ass'

"It does not!"

'It does too'

"Nuh-uh!"

"Eric, are you alright?" Jackson snapped him out of it, now looking at his direction.

"Yeah baby, ofcourse I am!" He exclaimed nervously, "how about you show me those kitten mittens you told me about the other day?"

"Oh! Fuck yeah, dude!" Jackson beamed excited, before dragging him to somewhere else.

'How rude, bluntly ignores my presence'

"Shut up, Kahal. I don't want him to hear you!"

'Mhm, I don't see why you're so damn in to him, I'm soooo much interesting than him and you don't seem to like me like that?'

"Cause you're a stupid jew, that's why!"

'So you admit you're a gaywad?'

"Fuck off, dude." He shoved away with his free hand next to his face, as he were capable to shoo Kyle's annoying voice from him.

"Ms Ellen has always had the best of mittens," Jackson spoke, approaching a small stand letting go now from his hand as he gestured all the colorful mittens.

'*cough* gay *cough* *cough* what a gaywad'

"Tsch, quiet!" He sneered in a whisper, before continuously to eye Jackson in an awe.

He's so cute, he felt his eyelids fall slightly feeling that fuzzy feeling once more in his stomach. Now he wondered how he scored such a wonderful boyfriend with zero efforts!

'Stop looking at him like that, your eyes are gonna fall'

"Don't tell me what to do, Kyel," he mustered out while smiling dumbly, seeing how Jackson seemingly spoke as his blonde locks move in such a memorizing slow way.

'I'll give it two weeks max'

He heard that last bit but decided to ignore it, he is planning to enjoy his night with Jackson and succeed as a great judge.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, he and Jackson had played many of the games there. It was just the two of them that night as both Hershey and Stewart we're doing their own thing with their girlfriends, so it'd made sense for he and Jackson to do the same.

"You know.. I'm glad you're here," Jackson said out of the blue, grabbing his attention.

"Yeah? Why?" He asked munching on a corndog.

"Well, normally I'd be alone in these type of things cause those assholes are always latching like slugs to their girlfriends and shit," he said, obviously referring to the guys, smirking slyly, "now I can do the same with out feeling envious of their own love life, let's be slugs together, baby nuts"

His heart skipped a beat, he smiled warmly.

Jackson approached him, a step forward planting a kiss on his cheek he instinctively closed his eyes not wanting for it to end.

'Dumbass, he doesn't like you. He likes that he's no longer the only gay one in town'

He frowned, as he opened his eyes once more softening seeing Jackson look his way in such a lovingly way.

He hold on to his hand, "don't worry, baby. I love you," he reassured more to himself than to his boyfriend.

Ofcourse he loves Jackson, why else would he feel this immense feeling inside his chest. He's a great friend not that he 'like-like' him like that, he's just so awesome and amazing to ignore, he stands up in the crowd, he's different.

'You're confused. You don't like him, you like feeling praised'

He moved his head frantically, dragging Jackson by the arm leading him to the apple bucket game where men surrounded it cheering for the next loser to grab a red apple among the greens while blindfolded.

'You can run all you want, but you know I'm right, fatass'

"We should try it out," he ignored the echoing voice against his ears.

"Sure, did I ever mentioned you I was stated 1st place state champion of apple bobbing?"

"Really?" He looked at him surprised, Jackson winked at him placing himself in line.

'Gay'

He scoffed, "grow up, Kahal. It's sooo 80s of you to be so close minded," commenting that as he stood next to Jackson sharing him a toothy smile.

'Ugh, you two gross me out'

'Why don't you set the bucket on fire? Wouldn't it be fun if you put gasoline inside and let the next player get it? Hahaha!'

He shook his head, "no, kahal, that's awful," whispering annoyed.

'You use to do it all the time with Butters and Kenny. What's the big deal now? Afraid your pussie friends can't deal with some actual fun?'

He gritted his teeth, clenching his free hand, eyeing the next player who was a blonde girl with two big ponytails.

'Dude, wouldn't it be awesome if we do one destiny final on her? Her hair is perfect to get-'

"No, it wouldn't be 'awsome', get over it" he stated still looking at the crowd.

'Man, what's happened to you'

He bit his lip to that, in all honesty he really thought it'd be funny to see the blonde chick be dragged by a horse because her hair was tangled and tied up on it's leash.

But that wasn't a North park way to think.

'But you're not from north park'

"Tsch, what did I tell you about reading my mind Kyel!," he blurted out, flinching once he noticed he screamed too loud causing a few people to look at him weird and Jackson to eye him carefully, "you're invading my privacy," he murmured in between teeth

'You do it all the time! Don't be such an hypocrite. You don't even know what personal space is'

"I feel like I've already said this many times, but are you alright, babe? You're acting like a little pyscho."

'Cause he is. Are you blind?'

"I'm fine, babe. Just ignore it." He shrugged now getting ready to play next.

"Ignore what?"

The game went on an he managed to witness the competitive spirit Jackson had, he was rabid to win a stubbornness no one can wear him off from, ruthless almost murderous over some dumb apples noneless!

'Pst, you never seem to care when I do it?'

"Shut up, kahal. It's different, my baby is gonna get hurt," he looked at the bloody looking hound who was glaring daggers at some big chunk of a man with a cool looking beard holding on to a couple of apples in his mouth, probably five.

No longer had their blindfolds on as they circled around each other as if they were about to go in combat. Jackson had three apples, making his cheeks look all puffed up like a angry squirrel. He would laugh by the adorable display but there were other more important matters in hands.

"Hon, why don't we just truce this and-?"

Everyone gasped, going all silent, before the beard dude spit out the apples from his mouth in a bursting laugh.

"Hahahahah! Awe, how cute. Oh southies and their stupidity, your tp boyfriend is such a loser! Ofcourse, you should definitely listen and be the typical whipped ass licking moron you are and ask for a small cease-fire?"

Jackson eyed the man up and down in a threatening manner silently warning him

"South- Park- ies" The man tilted his head with each pronouncing words, grinning confidently.

"Oooohhhh" everyone blurted out in a shared shocking response, as it was indeed a low blow to be called a south parker, a disgusting insult that's worse than being thrown actual feces in someone's face.

Jackson spit the apples he had out of his mouth and straight up lounge himself towards the man.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Screamed back, punching and yanking the man's beard off.

"Goddamn," he whispered in disbelief.

'Guess your boyfriend is also kinda a little cookoo himself'

He watched bewildered by the intensity of the street fight being unfold, as people cheered like wild animals. He even notice his other friends were already there in the pile of people cheering Jackson on.

This reminded him of the time when Kyle force him to ride a bull for some dumb Terrance and Phillip dolls, he was damn determined to win them he didn't even care that he was a vietnamese prostitute for the temporary being signing him up for the bull ride contest not caring he was drop off by Leonardo dicaprio the next day from who knows what of a night.

That was some immense determinant stubbornness and a whole lot of obsessive competitive spirit.

'In my defense, I really wanted those dolls and you wasted all the damn money'

"Whatever, Kahal," He whispered with not much enthusiasm, looking at the blonde boy smirking confidently as he stood up like he had won some boxing match.

Jackson approached him smiling warming, placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Told you I was number one champion."

'I don't think that's how you play bobbing apples'

"Sorry he call you that, baby," he added lastly before hugging him 'comforting'.

'What's there to be sorry about? You are from South park'

He corresponded back, "thanks, babe," reassuring with a small hum, smiling lightly.

'Stop acting like you aren't, asshole'

°°°°

Being judge wasn't the difficult part is was the people who'd glare menacingly, who'd watch carefully and cautious as other competitors would look like pray, atleast those that seem so gullible that'll easily cease on losing which was rare cause north park; the ones from blood, conceived from the womb of a north park mother will never bail out until they give their last breathe those that were from other states however would budge in one or a couple of rounds depending on how far long they've lived in the town. Yes, rounds.

What he figured out about this whole cat costume competition wasn't exactly just cute kitties dress up in fancy wears, it was a matter of actual BATTLE. They'd prepare themselves in a cage putting two people in and place their cats on a rounded chair. Waiting to be judge as they place themselves in middle of both cats, rules were simple:

1. First cat to jump off the chair will guarantee the owner making the fist move starting first round.

Only thing that wasn't allowed was weapons (guns, knives, swords, grenades, wires, types of acids, any sort of dust powder and flame throwers).

He wasn't sure exactly why the last weapon was needed to be specified with red ink, but he was a man who didn't question much.

Pretty much anything else is valid, so you're basically on your own once you're in the cage.

2. First player who accidentally hurts or (kill) the felines in anyway while being on the cage are disqualified immediately making the other competitor pass to the next round.

Being so damn fucking grateful he didn't bring Mr kitty to this whole thing after all was an understatement.

3. No sex inside the cage (one boner and you're out).

Now that was a rule he wondered why was needed to be added, but Hershey had told him it was because sometimes the tension between the two competitors will turn them up and makeout mid-battle.

This is why Jackson also told him he wasn't gonna let him compete as a player, he wasn't risking his boyfriend on 'falling' for some other dude. Kinda toxic, but he kinda like the possessive attitude.

4. Each meow counts as a double point, so you're current points would be sum together (the cat must be your feline for it to add up).

5. Each round is about 15 minutes (if dragged).

6. They're only 6 rounds per fight.

7. If referee catches you purposely making your feline meow you're disqualified and would be punished being excluded for the next year's competition.

8. Every aim on the gut, calves and armpit is 15 points (must be with a fist punch/ grab or finger thruster it would not count otherwise).

9. Bruises are also counted (1 point), in other cases: any teeth yanked off counts as 4.

Eyes (not preferable) 3 points.

Fingers (please don't) 6 points.

And any limbs (again, mayor Paul Theo won't pay for your hospital bills. Cautious.) 10 points.

10. You must sign the term and conditions agreeing you're aware of all the dangers you're putting yourself in and would not ask for legal action if you're severely injured (don't be a pussy), before festival date. The signature is obligatory or you will not be allowed to participate.

11. Once sixth round is over you must have atleast over 120 points gather up for the win. If both competitors have over that limited amount the competitor who has the highest count is declared winner.

However, if both competitors haven't pass the limit, they're both disqualified and will be called: tied losers until next year. (No one likes a tie you damn finger teaser).

In worse cases, a deceased competitor mid play would immediately disqualify you. If the competitor passes away after the ending round however, is automatic victory.

Eleven being the last rule, made him winced a little worrisome. This wasn't like the cow chase tournament they had in south park. This was beyond that.

What he did point out is that north parkers are VERY and when he says VERY, like goddamn! they're competitive. They don't like losing.

He bit his lip nervously as he was gesture to take a high up seat, sitting while seeing the crowd of people fill up empty seats.

Judge main attribute is to watch and declare winners, also having to count individually each players points, added his own judgment by rating each cat outfit which is important for the final counting.

He had the power to make a competitor lose if he felt like not giving a high score to their cat. Just like the power to make someone win even with a lower point count, he has unlimited points to give. And if he really dislikes the outfit he can take away max 15 points from a competitor.

So yeah, that was pretty sweet.

'You're already feeling yourself aren't you, fatass?'

"just a little... but could you blame me? Everyone is totally boned by the thought of overpowering someone, and I just have the opportunity to overpower anyone."

'That's more like it.. but don't over do it, lardass.'

"Jesus, can you give me a break already?"

'Not until you're back in South park; your real home with your real friends. We're I can keep an eye on you up closer.'

He rolled his eyes not bothering in answering back, spotting Jackson with the gang seating in some seats. Jackson spotted him right away and blew him a kiss. Which he subconsciously grabbed and blew another one back.

'God, you're so gay.'

The tournament began and everyone was riled up, it was a total massacre in and out of the cage, he was lucky being at top of it all. Seeing how aggressive the crowd of viewers were, he even notice his friends joined in the bashing. Unlike the competitors the audience could and can throw shit in, some tried aiming their gun to the competitor they hated the most others just shaked the cage in a rabid manner and some threw rocks with poor aiming.

It was quite a sight, a whole different display than what he was given firstly of the town.

"Wow," he said in an 'awe' admiring the chaos.

'Please, this would never get at a South park level'.

"C'mon, you can't tell me this isn't skewl?"

'Not even the slightest.'

"You're just saying that cause you're jealous."

'Sure~ being jealous over some people attempting to kill each other in a cage is so– exciting. If I wanted to watch that shit I could just see MMA for women on tv.'

"Okay you snarky jew, I get it, fuck. Nothing pleases you."

'I'm just stating facts, nothing beats south park.'

He grunted, reluctantly watching the whole tournament unfold, and eventually get to its end.

He was almost thrown a bucket of literal shit on because for the people's eyes his judgment wasn't going their way, not pleased by his choices. For his luck he had Jackson by his side during his performance, preventing any damages his way. Which he thought it was very warming and protective of him.

"You should give Eon a 10 pointer it'll definitely hit the rail for Jennebie," Jackson whispered in his ear, he could feel his malicious smirk against it.

So he followed through and did just that.

"Also hit Merry with a 5 pointer and let Harry have it with a 3," he continued almost in a sultry manner.

He looked his way, and sure enough it seem Jackson was turned on by pissing people off; he had dilated pupils and he was bitting his lip, moving back and forth frantically.

'He's literally manipulating you under your damn nose aren't you gonna do anything about it?'

He denied with his head not listening to Kyle and continued following his boyfriend instructions. It's not like he's whipped but he didn't mind pleasing him in some way.

He felt Jackson's hands slid next to his arms rubbing them lightly as he rested his head on his shoulder, sighing.

"Eric did I tell you how hot you look today?" He mustered nuzzling his nose against his neck warmly, "you drive me crazy."

He felt himself melt into Jackson's words, smiling dumbly as he saw how the competitors reacted by their scoring, feeling soothe by his touch and soft hair against his cheek.

He hummed as an answer, dazzlingly eyeing the crowd infront of him not caring much of the insults being sent his way.

"Mom, do you think I'm ready to have sex?" He asked his mother, now being back home.

His mom looked his way from the small kitchen practically part of the living room.

She moved her mouth as she was trying to articulate some words, seemingly startled, "uhhm.. well, I'm not sure poopsikins, do you feel ready?"

"I'm not sure either, but all my friends have done it," he shrugged not seemingly sure himself, "when was your first time?"

"Oof.." she exclaimed almost incredulous of how far that was, pouting her lips in thought, "probably when I was your age now that I think about."

"Wow. So does that mean I'm already late?"

"Ofcourse not sweetums," she chuckled, while smiling, "it's takes the right person at the right time."

"Did you do it with the right person, ma?" He asked genuinely curious.

"I did it with the coach of our volleyball team."

"Aye! That doesn't seem very ethical at all!"

"Technically I was learning something new, hon," she tried justifying herself with a light nervous tone to it, "anyways– why do you ask? Is that boyfriend of yours already wanting to escalate towards higher grounds?"

"Well.. not exactly, but it seemed like it!" He admitted, almost exasperated by the whole previous ordeal, "he seemed like he wanted something, he just.. didn't have the balls to tell me.

Even though it was obvious he was trying to hide it from me and he was all touchy too."

"Hmmm.." she looked at the ceiling, thinking carefully, "well it does seems quite suspicious, but you shouldn't get to that type of conclusions yet."

"Why?"

"Because then he'll think you're desperate."

"Really!?" He exclaimed almost nervously, eyes widen by the possibility.

He went to his room after eating dinner and briefly remembering the underwear gnome he and Stan hid in a cooler from a previous episode of theirs while he made an extra sandwich cause he was starving to death and the diet he had set himself off with wasn't it for him. Worrisome of looking like a desperate horny dog to Jackson, that was far what he wanted to give.

He layyed down sighing exhausted, remembering the passionate kisses Jackson gave him before entering his building, backing him against a wall and making out for a couple of minutes before reluctantly drifting ways.

He bit his lip just thinking the possibility of Jackson wanting more than just kisses, gulping nervously as he lightly yanked the collar of his shirt feeling a immense tightness around his neck, sucking in some air.

He took out his phone and texted Butters about his other worry that has also been eating him alive all day. The previous event made him realize how much he missed his little feline friend.

Butters (+1 ***-***-****) 📞

[Inbox✉]

'Butters, make sure Mr. Kitty is well fed or I'll hunt you down and chop you into bits you hear me!'

'No need to worry about it, Eric👌🏼

I'm already making sure your furr baby is alright'

'Please don't call it a furr baby, dude. That's gay as fuck'

'Butters?' He reluctantly added.

'Yeah?'

'If I we're to never come back.. would you miss me?'

'Why golly, Eric. Ofcourse I will, we're best pals!'

'I fell like you're bullshittin me rn just to make me feel better'

'Are you feeling under the weather again?'

He pinch himself, Butters could right outta the bat tell when somethings bothering him even through text.

'Maybe..'

'Do you know if any of the guys have been.. not that I care or anything! But, do they seem to miss me or something?'

'Typing..'

Butters kept writing but it seemed he stopped a couple of times before continuing writing again as if he was contemplating his reply and erasing it back and forth.

Finally after like a minute, he sent a bible looking message.

'This is what I've seen so FAR, it's not accurate so please don't take it as seriously, alright?:)

I've seen Stan and Kyle being the ones least affected by your absence, ofcourse that was just the first few days.

Stan seems to be taking it all pretty lightly but I do see him getting bored easily and shoving his face in junk food all day (probably not you related) but still, it's kinda unlike him yk.

Kyle on the other hand.. well, yk how pissy he gets. It's kinda hard to tell what's in his mind when all he shows is anger. But he does seem to be in denial of you actually staying in north park for too long, he thinks you're scheming something (Which isn't entirely untrue but he doesn't know that) and you already knew that.

Kenny, I already told you. He wasn't taking it well, but he's gotten better since your last call.

And well, to summarize it all, it does seem to put affect in some way for them. So I do think they miss you, Eric.

You guys don't really have the best way in showing it'

'That's useless dunk garbage, I could've guess that myself, dumbass.

But thanks.. I guess'

'Anytime n.n'

'Eric.'

'What?'

'What the hell is dunk garbage suppose to mean?'

He sighed, placing his phone in his lamp stand, covering himself in his covers.

'Are you finally gonna admit you're homesick, dickface?'

"Fuck you, I am not," huffing annoyed, he tossed himself to his other side, "I just miss Mr kitty that's all."

'Mhm, sure, Cartman'

"Tee hee~ tee hee hee~" he heard from the end of his bed, he snapped back up in shock, glancing at that little well familiar devil.

'Oh great'

"The fuck!? I thought I had got rid of you already!"

"Tee hee~ is this how you welcome your little bundle of joy after years of not seeing each other?"

"Fuck you, dude! I don't want nothing to do with you anymore. I'm not a little kid anymore, this is totally lame now," he hissed hiding half his face under the covers, feeling frustratingly embarrassed, "so uncool.."

"So you rather replace me for a gay inner monologue of your gay little friend?" Cupid sneered, approaching him.

'Fuck you, asshole!'

"Up yours, Kyle!" The little creature snap back almost bitterly, now changing his tone to a sweeter one, "Eric we use to be the best of friends! Setting people up with their true love it was so much fun!"

"Yeah, but acting like cupid is a 2016 thing, get over it already. It's sooo totally lame."

Cupid me sighed in disbelief and disapproval, "preteens I swear~" he rolled his eyes annoyed before continuing, "look, Eric. I'm here not exactly to set anyone up.

I'm here to make you realize the real you tee hee~"

"The real me?"

"Uhuh," he nodded beaming wide, "you're so in denial of your true feelings I'm starting to feel pity over you~" he swirled around in circles playfully.

"Aye!"

"But don't worry! That's why I'm here! To open your eyes~"

"To what?"

"Being in love with Jackson ofcourse! Tee hee hee~!"

"WHAT!? NUH-UH! you're bullshittin me right now! I don't like Jackson, I just think he's neat and cool!"

"That's being a complete gayway, cupcake~"

'I must admit just this once that the ugly goblin has a point'

He heard cupid me huffed by the name, but he couldn't give a rats ass about it, "Shut the fuck up, Kahal! And shut the fuck up cupid me! I DO NOT like Jackson!"

"Yes you do~"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh~"

"NO!" Panic began rising in him, shoving harshly the little creature to the wall running inside his closet with his hands covering his ears closing the door with a loud slam.

'Sweet, can you do that again?' He heard Kyle say referring about how he had shoved cupid me in a furious attempt to get him away.

He ignored him once more, squinting his eyes shut dismissively shaking his head frantically. Hearing cupid me rise above with angry noises and the flapping of his wings echoing the room in a loud attempt to threatened him.

"That does it, Eric," Cupid me spoke tirelessly behind the door, his sweet tone long gone replacing for a more menacingly one, "I've been very nice and have forgiven you countless times of how you've mistreated me!

Now come out of the closet right now, were gonna speak like real men!" He slammed harshly the door attempting to turn the handle but his little hands couldn't grasp it entirely making it almost impossible.

"No! Leave me alone!"

'C'mon cupid me, leave him alone already. You can't force it either' he heard Kyle try to reason with it in his defense, but Cupid me was way stubborn to let things slide easily.

"Shut up, Kyle, I don't want to hear anymore of those gay little speeches of yours! This is between me and him," Cupid me kept on slamming the door, even trying to budge in with his body, "come outta the closet right now, Eric!

You can't hide yourself in there forever."

"Just you watch!" He cried out, feeling tears fall down his cheeks, sucking harshly some air. He's never felt this scared in his life, feeling how small and suffocating the small space being, sobbing and holding himself for dear life as he hugged his legs hiding his face.

There was a immediate silence, he wanted to take a peek and make sure cupid me was long gone, but he stopped before placing his hand on the door.

'Don't be stupid. He could be acting like he isn't there to make you come out, he isn't called a creepy little shit for no reason'

He nodded, gulping nervously, as Kyle was indeed right. Cupid me wasn't to be mess with, he was calculated, cunning and coldly accurate, he knew his ways to get him, and he hated having let that little shit capable of making him feel this vulnerable.

He rocked himself back and forth in attempt to calm his nerves, but it didn't help in the slightest.

'Breathe, asswipe, you don't want to pass out either'

He squinted his eyes even harder, sucking in some air and letting it out, in and out.

'1–

Breathe in, exhale..

2-

Breathe in, exhale..

3– '

His breathing began to take a slower pace, Kyle's voice soothed him like no other but he was immediately tense back up by the sounds of a chainsaw.

Oh god, no.

He trembled trying to back further away but there was no more end to it. He looked fearsome at the door being torn apart and a crazy cupid me smirking menacingly poke inside.

"Oh, Eric~ come out from the closet, dear~" he sang, finally demolishing the door to it's entirety.

Cupid me gripped him from his shirt yanking him out and with a loud thump he shoved him to the floor, he whimpered trying to reach his bed and try shielding himself under it but Cupid me dragged him by the legs. Sobbing uncontrollably he was left no choice but to look into his eyes.

"Eric, I'm not trying to hurt you.. but you have to listen to me. You're in love with Jackson."

And with that, cupid me pointed a arrow at him, "this is for your own good, be happy and be as gay as you can possibly be tee hee~!" Finally releasing the arrow and knocking him out dead with a hit.

°°°°

He gasped wide awake, looking at his sweaty hands and seemingly back in bed. He looked around and cupid me was no longer in sight.

'Morning gay bitch'

Just Kyle, but that wasn't anything new for him.

He sighed feeling slightly better, "Morning.."

'Sleep well, fatass?'

"Slept like ass, but I do feel slightly better," and with that, he got out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He had noticed it seemed to be quite earlier than usual his mother was still in bed, so he quietly walked passed her room to not disturb her.

Since when has that ever matter to him?

He made himself breakfast not bothering on waking up his mother, and soon after headed outside to meet up with his friends. They had agreed on hanging out for today at the skaters park.

Waving hello as he saw both Hershey and Stewart already sitting in some stairs waiting for the remaining members.

"Morning!"

"What's got you all smile and rainbows?" Stewart asked with a smile, arching a brow confused.

"Nothing, I just feel good you know," he shrugged, sitting in the spot next to him.

"You did a great job as judge, dog park," Hershey added, now sitting with his legs cross infront of them, mindlessly sliding his board from side to side.

"Thanks."

After a few minutes of chit chatting Jackson had finally arrived, eyes widen in surprise as he notice him, planting a kiss right away on his lips.

"Morning, baby nuts. Didn't think you'd be here this early," he gave a hand five to Stewart and a peace sign to Hershey before sitting down, "normally you're the last to arrive."

"I thought you'd be happier to see me~" he teased with a smirk.

"I'm always happy to see you."

His heart skipped a few beat smiling wide and his face felt heated.

"Damn, motherfuckers. Get a room," Stewart added with not much malice into it, taking out a small bag from his pocket of his baggy ass black pants.

"What the fuck is that?" He asked, curiously eyeing what it seems to be a couple of joints.

"Never tried a joint before, fatboy?"

He denied, he thought those shit were for pussies; poor people like Kenny and hippies, definitely for hippies. Goddamn how he hated hippies.

"Damn why didn't you say so!" He exclaimed baffled, his other two friends also looked distraught his way, "here," he passed him a joint but he hesitantly look at it.

There wasn't anything relatively good in those things, he's only gotten bad experiences just being near them. Being his mother a crackhead herself or seeing Kenny get himself high with paint for substituting it; even if he had countless times told him he should just stick with the joints instead of huffing paint like some crazy junkie. He also witnessed dumb highschoolers making themselves look like cringe looking fools being all high and shit promising himself he'll never be like them.

"What? Scared?" Stewart asked, taunting moving the joint in hand with a sly smirk.

And Jackson eyed him with a intense look, interest peeking his way.

'Don't do it, asshole'

He snatched that joint quicker than dashing off in a hurry when he hear the microwave announce with a beep that his hotpocket was ready.

Huffing a deep bunch, coughing loudly as it hit his throat awfully while his friends laughed by the first attempt.

"Killer.." he mustered out, feeling how the substance was already hitting him bad.

He was starting to feel a lot lighter since, also losing appetite and replacing his food with joints. Luckily his mother seem to not mind it much, as she view it being a phase of his now that's he's hitting adolescent anytime soon.

He layyed down, puffing some more of the weed given, turning on the tv lazily.

He laughed incredulous at the big companies that claim being precautious of the environment and safety of the children.

And he bashed on people who show any ounce of hatred towards animals.

Who do they think they are? This world is supposed to be freedom, we're all animals living in the same globe managed and ruled by arrogant men who play god.

Who can say who's to command the world? Just cause they speak and are highly intelligent than most animals there.

Someone should do something about it, go against this corrupted government and protest for the right of change and liberty.

He huffed another hit, before resting deeply his head against a cushion and doing absolutely nothing about it taking out his phone and putting on so music to avoid any mindless thinking.

His eyes widen in realization, "MOOOOOOOM," he screamed out loud in a scare.

°°°°

"Ah, I see," the doctor hummed, as he eyed his eyes with a small flashlight, "you're developing pussie-itis." He concluded.

"Oh my," he heard his mother gasped in surprise.

"What's that?" He asked confused.

"It only occurs to outsiders," he explained, placing back his flashlight in his coat, "it's a condition that could lead to severe head trauma being cause by being homesick or being expose for too long on a diffrent environment far different from your previous living."

"Nuh-uh! I'm not home sick!"

"This is serious, you could turn into a giant pussy."

He gasped by the revelation, covering his mouth.

"Is there any way to prevent that happening, doctor?," his mother asked concerning.

"Well, I could prescribe some medicine. But that still can't guarantee some changes in your son, Ms Cartman."

Being prescribe meds was super lame, but he had no choice into taking them.

However after a few days he got tired and decided to skip a few times and lastly shoving the pills inside a drawer completely forgetting about them as he venture with his friends doing whatever crappy shit hit their way.

Prev —

[warren-keplers-funk-band]

can we talk about how much more daddy quaritch is in the new avatar??

both literally and figuratively i guess hAH

now, listen, let me explain myself!! i know he's a raging annoying bastard asshole but like- actually no i cannot explain myself. that's just who i am ig i look at a man who is actively trying to decimate a whole species, is burning down people's homes and killing beautiful wildlife and i'm like babygirl <3 why you do this to me

god i genuinely don't know what happened i had like no strong feelings about quaritch in the first film past him being a vaguely amusing if unorginal villain but dAMn,, idk what kinda direction they gave stephen lang in this one but he was like 500% more attractive what is wrong with me

and like honestly he was the highlight of the movie for me because i was incredibly dissappointed by the writing and plot, but the image of a band of na'vi bodies in full camo and sunglasses and military buzzcuts combined with the ponytail was so fucking ridiculous that i actually enjoyed myself.

also sidenote,, the colonel and his goons being brought back, while enjoyable, is genuinely some of the stupidest shit i have witnessed in mainstream cinema. you expect me to believe that they put an easily replaceable (as proven by the fact that he was already replaced) dumbass military leader and some of his dudes into bodies of an alien species they fucking hate- because, what, the colonel wanted revenge against jake?? that's enough reason to grow him a fucking, as established, super expensive alien clone backup???? sure. yeah. ok. if they have the technology to grow alien clones can they not just grow human clones??? man idk. sure. it was to infiltrate jake's camp. whatever.

anyways yes quaritch was incredibly fucking hot in this film and i blame it 50% on the fact that he's now a CONFLICTED FATHER??? yes absolutely sign me up that's my type

like sure i high key hated how patriarchal this film ended up being with so much importance being placed on fatherhood, as well as them forcing some connection between spider and quaritch when they literally didn't know each other bUT putting all that aside- i live for!! bastard psycho characters!! going soft!! against their will!!

spider asked him not to kill the na'vi woman and he didn't???? uhuh yes. spider was being threatened by neytiri and quaritch actually faltered??? gave up his hostage, his advantage against jake?? absofuckinglutely yes please

like i hate where the sentiment came from, but i love that it's there.

i was half expecting a quaritch redemption arc when spider was teaching them the language and how to fly ikran and all that- after all, jake did say that the problem with pandora was loving her too much. honestly, it could still come, fingers crossed oml i'd fucking perish, quaritch actually realising pandora is beautiful, quaritch redemption??? pls like he is stuck in this body now whether he likes it or not he's not remotely controlling it, would it take that much for him to start getting convinced??

obviously he has to die, he's going to die, he's committed too many crimes against the protagonists to live bUT even more internal conflict??? deathbed apology??? paternal instincts winning over revenge????? dying to save spider??? please please mr cameron i'll pay anything to watch babygirl get fucked over emotionally it's what i live for

HE'S SO HOT

sorry this was a mess i just needed to get it out there i love my annoying bastard i have some sort of a complex probably

little meow meow, fucked ass bitch love him love him with all my heart

[toffyrats]

saw your bored post, gimme your best hcs abt racetrack and spot, and also jededaius (christ idk how to spell his name i did a wholeass paper on the man) and octavious :3

SPRACE AND JEDTAVIUS YIPPEE

okok i have so much rly random and specific stuff for them sprace especially

ok for sprace i’m gonna do some individually and then collectively

RACEEETRAAACKKK

-race is definitely the little love coach/gossip girl in the lodging house, he definitely picks up on every little hint of feelings between the boys (and bothers spot and jack with it). -for some odd reason i just. feel like race had a crush on davey at some point or at least found him attractive but he slowly turned into javid’s biggest supporter LMAO -he trusts albert with his life (bad idea). probably had to go through the “uh can i tell you about something” shit with him before he started dating spot. it rly stressed him out for a while but he’s good now albert’s fine race’s fine. -he and katherine were probably the first people davey told about liking jack, and he was so fucking exited about it on like an unhealthy level. davey asked him if he could keep a secret, let’s just say he didn’t. -actually like never smokes, just has the cigar bc it makes him look badass and allows him to do fancy flourishes with it at the end of every sentence. -that being said, he gives major theater kid vibes. -jack was his first friend, and crutchie kinda just joined the group later on. he’s the second youngest of the trio, and they consider eachother brothers.

spit concord

-gets no bitches. likes to think he does but doesn’t. race loves him for that honestly. -hotshot became a newsie before he did even though he’s slightly younger. he probably found spot in a trashcan somewhere and dragged him back against his will -they’re besties i’m here for it -huge dog person. i could see him stealing food and then giving it to some street dogs instead of feeding himself 😭 -can not down any amounts of alcohol ever without getting insanely drunk. one shot and he would pass out bro -hotshot was the first person he told about dating race, and he was NOT happy about that 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ -not because he’s homophobic just because he didn’t want to lose spot :(

SPRACE MY BELOVEDS

-race met spot at the races in brooklyn and nearly got beat up for being in his territory, but it was still love at first sight for both of them -so naturally, race came back the next day to say hi. they had like a normal conversation that time and settled on a compromise for race to be able to sell at the races but nowhere else. -they became pretty good friends and were still gay pining over eachother but theyre both dumbasses and didn't realize -race told jack about liking him, and jack nearly went all the way to brooklyn just to tell spot to keep his grubby paws off his brother -eventually they started dating, probably during or right after the strike -race still isn’t allowed to sell anywhere in brooklyn 💀 -race got caught in a storm once and spot forced him to stay in brooklyn for the night because he didn’t want him to get sick or cold (not that he would ever admit that ofc) race didn’t want to make jack worry, but he took it as an excuse to cuddle with spot so he did it anyways -race calls spot short all the time. like all the time. to the point where it’s annoying to everybody not just spot -cheek kisses, neck kisses, occasionally hand kisses but they’ve probably only kissed on the lips like once (they’re too panicky and nervous to do it again) -hotshot and jack are prolly like decent friends actually, just because they can bond over worrying for their gay little younger brothers

wow i love jededaius and octavious from the hit movie trilogy nihgt at tge musiem

i have like a lott LOTT less for them but let’s begin

-were never truly enemies, closer to rivals. they just felt like it was their duty to fight eachother and gave them something to do all night -octavius is a huge hopeless romantic, wrote a whole bunch of love poems about jedediah even before the feeling was mutual. jedediah eventually found them, good thing he can’t read, much less in latin 😀👍 -guYS PLEASE CAN YOU STOP MAKING THE WESTERNERS HOMOPHOBIC LET THEM BE HAPPY PLEASE (clearly they’re aware they’re museum exhibits so they’re definitely caught up on modern standards) -jed is asexual. yep -octavius literally cannot ride a horse idc if he’s a roman centurion he’s unable. that’s why they use the rc car instead of jed’s horse -they have movie night with the other exhibits once a week, and they always cuddle together away from the others :) -jedediah is really cocky and arrogant most the time, but is really sweet and gentle with octavius. probably brags about him

ok that’s it 😭 ik it’s not a lot but

TY FOR THIS ASK!

[weirdo09]

ok so i just got back from seeing atsv and just oh my fucking god.

like first of all THE ENDING?! LIKE HOW OUT OF ALL THE (honestly small amount of stuff) SPOILED FOR ME HOW DID NO ONE TELL ME THERE WAS GONNA BE A TBC AT THE END?! I CANT WAIT HOWEVER MANY YEARS ITLL BE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT LIKE-

and like half the stuff in this film felt like a maaaaassssssiiivvveeeee metaphor for coming out like the “promise u won’t love me any less” (or whatever see said i’m bad at remembering exact quotes) and the fact that during Gwen’s speech to her dad EVERYTHING TURNED FUCKING PINK BLUE AND WHITE like cmon they aren’t even being subtle abt it u guys (@ the ppl who r denying it not u) just don’t wanna see queer ppl in media they literally could not make it more on the nose w/o making it an actual queer coming out story and not a metaphor (also when Miles and Rio were talking and he was trying to tell her “a secret” aka that he was spider-man and he was going all “i- i’m- i’m-” before bailing she 1000% thought he was trying to come out to her like as queer idk what other way she couldve interpreter that like srsly)

also not to be horny in asks but i need Miguel to fucking rail me for fuck’s sake hes hot and usually it’d be more likely i’d be into a mosquito than a muscular guy (it’s normally too generic yk)

and yeah that’s all my thoughts on the movie that’s i can turn into words (final random ones that idk how to format: Gwen and Miles were like extra baby in this one esp Miles + ik he has a wife and all but Peter and Miguel r definitely doing smthn like the vibes r there u cant deny it + Gwen x Miles is one of those ships that i don’t rlly care whether they’re romantic or platonic but i prefer them platonic and unfortunately the writers don’t seem to agree with me (kinda like Jopper except Jopper kinda grew on my entirely because of Willel being siblings bring extra extra canon) + not related to the contents of the film but there were these group of rlly annoying Neds sitting behind me and my friend who wouldn’t stop talking and going on their phones and i only heard one but according to my friend 2 ppl yelled at them to shut up and i heard them stop for like 2 seconds then start being bitches again it was so fucking annoying) and yeah damn that was a kinds long final thoughts thingy but yeah will this become my entire personality? idk we’ll have to see now if u’ll excuse me i gotta remember how to be a normal human again (hope this wasn’t too long lmao) :p

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(sorry had to let that out) (it’s happy btw)

yes yes the metaphors, made me cry n everythin,, miles n rio were just !!!!!!! i loved it mostly bcuz i wish that was how my mom would’ve reacted if i ever came out to her (spoiler alert, she didn’t and she found out on her own. she was not at all accepting which is typical)

i mean at first, i thought miguel was comical very comical for having beef with miles, who is half his age!!!! yeah after i got out the theater, i wanted to beat his ass 😡😡😡 but then i could kinda see his attractive still not an excuse, i’d still fight him on sight

peter + miguel, i mean mj would obviously approve,,, they’re my poly couple ok??? miguel n mayday get me in my feels,,, 😭😭😭 like i’ve posted before PETER B PARKER AND MIGUEL O’HARA ATE EACH OTHERS ASSES!!!!! yeah great times

miles + gwen, i don’t really see or care for them romantically.. idk i just can’t see their romantic coding… them platonically just seem so much better to me

sorry abt those Neds,,, they seem like total bitches and you make this movie your whole personality bcuz it will be worth it (secretly goin to make the movie my personality again)

[ilyrhyme]

chicken girls s10 opinions! (since the final episode came out today)

this season was honestly ROUGH with many different details that made it better and worse in some ways?

season 10a (episodes 1-10):

• the beginning of season 10a was such a slow beginning! getting through the first few episodes was such a bore and i would often skip weeks of watching😭

• i love brat for trying out the parallel between the second gen (s7-9) and third gen (s10) plot lines but i hated it! I’m sorry!!! it was kind of messy and pointless to say the least

• ivy is a boring protagonist and that’s that. after having iconic characters like rhyme and harmony as our leads, ivy didn’t have the spark that they did? she got severely better in 10b (will go in depth later) but she was such a bitch all of 10a!

• kara and ivys beef was honestly funny to watch. im somewhat of a kara stan so to see their beef that was REASONABLE was entertaining and one of the saving graces of 10

• you could tell the writers were bored out of their minds making this season! half of the plot points were either dropped mid season or not even fully developed!!

• bailey and her brother were kind of annoying im sorry. she felt like a sport version of leyla that was whiny literally the WHOLE season. this isn’t the actors fault at all, it’s simply THE WRITERS FAULT

• jj was a chill character. i liked her and she made sense. her home plot line was really sad and bailey had her best moment in the whole season by helping jj which i enjoyed. jj and bailey are one of my fav ships this season btw, they were cute and i enjoyed watching them! (sorry reading this back, this sentence made no sense😭)

• the gen 2 chicken girls were so boring in 10a. i feel like the writers just wanted to keep them in so ppl would still watch for one reason or another. in result of this, they got the dumbest plot lines in the show. I MEAN WHAT WAS THE TEST PLOTLINE W SIMONE AND PETRA?! my girl simone went through sm in 10b tho which ill go in depth on later obvi

• why did poppy do a full personality 360 from forever team? made no sense whatsoever!

• LOVE LOVE LOVE that we brought the dance team back!? it was random but i loved the og plot w the dance team and all that

• petra was a bitch in 10a and i loved her sm😆 she was a better written character than the 4 lead girls and idk why the writers did that but slay!

• kara x bailey, i was waiting the whole god damn season for and we didn’t get it😭

• the best character award goes to finn! he wasn’t annoying and remained my favorite character the whole season. some of y’all bout to hate but he was the best male character chicken girls has SEEN. he was such a better love interest that both walker and tk

• ivy and finn were cute ig? idk they got a build up which i liked but it was also out of nowhere

• i hate theo sm what😭 he was attractive but like he as a total bitch to BOTH petra and ivy! he wasn’t a one dimensional character but wasn’t two dimensional either? (iykyk)

• 10a was messy and i didn’t like most of it sorry😭 BUT 10B WAS SO MUCH BETTER I PROMISE

10b (episodes 11-20)

• UGH WHAT AN UPGRADE THIS WAS!! the second half of the season took like 3 months to come out BUT THE WRITERS NEEDED IT!

• finn, kara and jj were such a trio this second half and i LIVED for it! they were so supportive towards each other

• bailey tempering with more stuff she shouldn’t be dealing with YET AGAIN!! she didn’t need to do that whole thing for ben and set him up w a girl that was literally sapphic and liked her😭

• ivy tryna kiss petras man? kinda bitchy but it was fun to watch more in 10b than 10a? ivy and theo were also kinda cute ngl and they had chemistry

• SIMONE AND CLAIRE WERE AT EACH OTHERS THROATS.

• bailey got better FINALLY. getting her OWN plot line without having to temper with other peoples? YES YES YES. and it was abt trust issues too. ugh so real girl

• petra was so real all of 10b and also deserved SO MUCH BETTER OMG. i felt so bad for her the whole second half

• the whole football, dance crossover bailey thing was kind of a smart move on the directors part? idk it was kinda boring but also gave bailey MORE DEPTH WHICH SHE NEEDED!

• kara for more screen time!!

• kara and ivy had that really cute moment where they forgave each other and ended the rivalry. absolutely loved that

• ivys eating disorder was so important and a great plot point. i love that she was able to open up to the team! my only criticism was that (again, like most of the season) came out of nowhere!

• i feel like they could’ve afforded a better set. you could even tell regionals wasn’t even real bc they didn’t even have a stage

• bailey and sage! i liked them ngl and i hope sage comes back

• why did ivy go back to finn? like she wanted theo the whole season and then went back to him?…I LOVED IT! again, gave the season a bit of spice towards the end which came back to me wanting more!

• the last two episodes were REMARKABLE! 10B WAS GOOD AS IT STARTED OUT BUT UGH GOT SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING AND I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE THE NEW EP TODAY

• petra needs to come back. i miss her already :(

• i lowkey thought jj and finn were gonna happen but I GUESS NOT. no but i also feel like jj was hinted at as being sapphic. she said smth like "the upsides of being a lesbian are.." and idk if that was referring to bailey or not but i found that interesting

• the group dynamic wasnt there until the last three episodes which was like again, the writers fault but them getting the bracelets out of nowhere was so confusing

• THE LGBTQ SHIPS THIS SEASON (canon and non canon) WERE SO GOOD BYE- BAILEY WAS DEF A SHIPPABLE CHARACTER AND UGH I JUST LOVED IT. FINN MY TRANS BABY!!

• now finally, the gen 2 chicken girls and they're PLOTLINE THIS SEASON. 10a was pointless but 10b. wtf was going on! nothing was working out and simone deserved sm better. claire and bel were SUCH trashy friends. poppy wasn't even given a bracelet so idk why she thought she was a chicken girl?! the existence of leyla was also 100% wiped and it felt like everyone forgot her?? claire also got so mad at simone for giving the bracelets away when she and bel didn't even care about the group the whole season💀

final thoughts:

sorry this was like a 85% bashing on the new season but chicken girls has gotten such a downgrade over time. the fans honestly deserve better if any of them are even still watching lmao. i think we are getting a season 11 bc of the cliffhanger as well as corrine joy (simone) posting a tiktok of them filming. if we do get a season 11, ill probably tune in and give my opinions but that's all for now. i would say to the chicken girls fans and anyone else to give this season a watch in your free time. it isn't terrible but it isn't the best we've ever seen from chicken girls *ahem seasons 3 and 7*. anyways, yeah it is worth somewhat of a watch. the start of the season compared to the ending is astronomical on how much of a change it was. ok bye now haha

[pankomako]

felt like actually making a ref of my splatsona this afternoon. so i did that

also as much as he's a representation of me he's kinda his own character too lol (like im not so sure im bi at all but i've decided mack is to a degree. but the way he plays matches is exactly what i do)

some extra fun facts i couldnt fit in the ref:

total sailor mouth. says fuck almost every other sentence

can get SUPER pissed during matches. sounds like a dad yelling at a football match on tv, worse combined with his sailor mouth. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STANDING AROUND" "CLAIM THE FUCKING ZONE" "HOLY SHIT LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE I WAS OUT OF INK" "THATS RIGHT BITCH THATS WHAT YOU FUCKING GET FOR CROSSING ME"

loves his body hair. everyone else thinks it's freaky as fuck. his friends have gotten over it though

often says he's part shark, sometimes to impress people. nobody believes him. unclear whether or not he believes it. he's not

has ADHD. probably should've put that in the ref. i just thought of it as im typing this out. explains a LOT of his behavior though

severely attracted to guys; experiences a very shallow attraction to girls. will flirt and offer to make out with either one but is more likely to date a guy (basically how i feel?? idk it's confusing im still thinking)

hangs out with shiver sometimes after meeting her in story mode. sharks bro (occasionally hangs out w the other characters too but not nearly as much)

is friends with my friend failboat's oc liv. they sometimes do salmon run together + he babysits her smallfry l'il chatty. like "hey im doing anarchy w/ jay can you watch lil chatty for me on the sidelines" "ya sure no problem lol (VERY reluctant)". she finds him kinda weird n annoying but they're still like besties

stingers HATE HIM! is the first target of stingers like 90% of the time. absolutely despises them for this reason. will angrily rush over to annihilate a stinger that targets him as soon as he is able. very likely to get splatted in the process. (NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE WITH SALMON RUN AUUUUUUGH)

has a personal grudge against any dapple dualies players he encounters. for literally no reason. he just has an urge to prove that he's better than them as a dark tetra dualies player (also very much real)

rarely has a successful use of reefslider. usually gets splatted immediately after either activation or when it explodes. wishes it had invincibility like kraken. refuses to main anything other than dark tetras because he's stubborn as fuck (just take a guess whether this is real (spoiler: it is))

literally so silly and goofy about everything. tends to lean into annoying. im tellin ya it's the adhd

yknow i think that's enough for now. thanks for reading all this i guess LOL (assuming you actually did)