#this does not mean i excuse his behavior he pissed me off many times

[witchinatree]

so i know there's a TV adaptation of a good girl's guide to murder coming this summer

why can't i find the actor who's playing stanley?? where is he?? please i need him (he is my favorite i don't care i don't care)

[thedroloisms]

I think what's worse about people doing it to Dream is he's very reluctant to call attention to it himself so people do it for him and it's not just with abuse. They'll do it about him being queer or about having rsd and people need to realise if he wanted to use those things as excuses but he doesn't. Like it's okay to recognise the influence those things have on a person but you can't reduce an issue down to a single factor and remove all the nuance.

i mean yeah he "doesn't use it as an excuse" because 1) he'd be crucified even harder than he already is 2) people already make things up in their head abt him using it as an excuse when he doesn't (like claiming he uses his RSD to get out of things, which was particularly hilarious back in 2021 or whatever when it seemed debatable if he even knew what RSD is) (like this is the same guy who like, during every drodcast around that time, would like list off textbook adhd symptoms and then be like 'yeah idk why i do that tho') but ... that's. like.

like the point i was making isn't just "we shouldn't make excuses using his abuse/queerness/neurodivergence because he doesn't do it" -- in situations where a conversation revolving around smth like queerness or victim advocacy or neurodivergence is relevant, then i don't think these topics should be barred from conversation? as an example, people used to get on people's cases all the time about mcc 14 and how you shouldn't talk about neurodivergence in relation to it while dream was like. clearly and obviously overwhelmed and out of it literally almost until the end of the conversation because of the buildmart rework. just because dream wasn't going "wow, this was an overstimulating environment that clashed terribly with my adhd" out loud on stream doesn't mean people couldn't independently hold conversations about how the game was kind of designed to be stimulation hell, with or without relating that conversation to dream.

obviously people should have more tact when they talk abt abuse specifically, re: dream. i just...don't think that throwing his situation into his face (especially as a weapon to use against other people) is in any way appropriate. people can, have, and will use his experiences against him.

but back to my main point, it's less about "not using these things as excuses because he doesn't" and more about "not using these things as excuses when they're not excuses." like. while i understand that being a survivor, being queer, being nd affects literally everything you do...as you said, there's a difference between understanding the impact something like past abuse can have on your feelings and actions and concluding that your actions and feelings are valid because of your abuse.

like. just as an example. if a DV victim acts erratically while details of their specific situation are being dredged up and said person does things out of character for themselves like shutting down their accounts on social media and refusing to acknowledge an important situation Immediately, even if they themselves don't bring up the specifics of their situation, i think it's fair to say "hey yall are lacking any empathy whatsoever to a survivor of DV who is a victim in this current situation, grow up and piss off."

on the flip side, if someone who's been through abuse is harassing people online and doing things like campaigning for them to lose their platforms and refusing to give any information as to why they believe this is necessary or provide any proof outside of "just trust me, they're bad bro" and cries that they're trying to do the right thing because they're an abuse victim...being an abuse victim does not excuse your current behaviors, many of which are enabling and/or encouraging abusive actions and telling people (such as abusers!) that your corner of the internet is a safe place for them to make baseless accusations (including towards their victims) as long as it's towards someone you don't like. which is, you know, fucked up and kinda abusive. i sympathize with the trauma that these people have been through, but bringing up your victimhood is not immediately relevant to the current situation and also doesn't excuse abusive actions.

i hope that made sense?

[sygneth]

Just a thought but let's stop for a moment and think about how Jean we see in the game is the worst version of himself, not his standard behavior, yes?

Like. He's been dealing with Harry's shit for a while now trying to keep him in line, excusing him to the captain and other precinct members, he's been cleaning his mess and all of this struggling with his own issues, just to hear that Harry "doesn't want to get better, he wants to get worse" and what Jean does is cramping his style and he should finally fuck off. When he comes back to Martinaise thinking that Harry's just playing his usual shit and tries to justify himself in the most stupid way, still being pissed for the fallout they had earlier (I mean, it's quite normal to be pissed after an argument, yeah) and then he finds out that no, Harry has really lost all his memory and doesn't remember shit. What makes him even more pissed, because, you know. You argue with somebody, you maybe expect an apology but you know you won't get it if you won't be the first to reach out, so you decide to do it anyway, and then you find out the other person doesn't remember what they did. And you're still pissed about that argument, and now also pissed, as you don't see any way of making up if they don't fucking remember and you don't really feel like explaining it to them, because you're still pissed. Well, it's not like there is no way, but for now, you're to mad to see it. You just wanted it to be over and you're stuck again.

Now let's add to this equation that one of the most important to him people don't recognize him and he cannot do anything about it. His boyfriend best friend doesn't remember him, at all. Something he didn't really expect when they argued and he left, probably thinking stuff like "this is so over" and "I don't want to know him anymore". (Careful what you wish, for, if you're unlucky enough, you may receive it). Sounds frustrating to me. Sounds like a very bad combination when you're already depressed and feel like shit yourself and deep inside you need someone, because you're a human and have human needs, but you get left with nothing.

Let's spice it up even more with the fact that Jean actually leaving Harry in Martinaise before the events from the game may suggest that some part of him noticed how unhealthy and mutually toxic their relationship was and that was an attempt of getting out of it, and not falling again into the same, old dependent patterns. And yet. If he didn't leave, there is a huge chance Harry wouldn't have drunk himself to oblivion. And well, it probably only adds to Jean being pissed and frustrated. Because if he didn't leave, he would be mad at himself for babysitting Harry once again and fixing his mess. And now he is mad at himself because he let Harry erase his memory. And being a Jamrock boy with no awareness and probably little connection to his own emotions he gets it out on Harry.

Oh yes, and half of the time he's probably really fucking anxious that someone will find out what has happened and they will all get dicked for it, possibly could even lose jobs, and while he wants to think it's all Harry's fault, it's actually their shared responsibility and he knows about it, so it only adds up.

So yeah, that was the worst week probably not only in Harry's life (but he's fortunate enough not to remember the worst part of it), but also in Jean's, and what we see is probably him acting in his worst possible way, as the sky has quite literally fallen onto his head. And I'm not saying it as "he's a real victim of the story". Many people are affected by Harry's behavior and many people are responsible for what happened, including Jean (and not only events from right before the game, but all the little mistakes and misunderstandings and unhealthy mechanisms they both with Harry got themselves into). Also, he's acting like an ass when he is angry and I'm not trying to deny it. I'm just noticing here that the narrative doesn't give us a representative sample of Jean Vicquemare, only the most shitty, pissed, frustrated, and anxious one.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for siding with my Dad and actively shit talking/giving points about things his wife is wrong for?

Using 🎸🎶 as my emojis so I don't get lost.

For context, I (17F) and my sisters (14F and 12F) have lived with divorced parents for the past almost 13 years, nearly our entire lives. Our Dad (38M) and our Mom (38F) got divorced long ago, and since both have been remarried and divorced. My dad is currently married to his third wife (37F) and things have gone to shit. They grew up together and reconnected through Facebook a while back and began to talk. Since early July, they reconnected around late June, we have; drove 40 hours to Ohio to see and meet Wife and her 3 daughters (15, 7 and 5 F), moved them down over 80 hours of back and forth with both pets and kids, lived in a small trailer house until we closed our half million dollar one, and now we live in an old 1940s house where Wife never has to work unless she wants to. My Dad provides for her and her three kids easily on his own due to owning a fraction of the company he works for, but money has been a little tight due to a lack of houses to work on and her excessive spending.

This morning was when it bubbled over. She woke him up 30 mins before he needed to have his trailer, and hour away to pick it up, and be in another city still 30 mins from there, to pick up a free dresser we do not have room for. While getting ready he was informed her two youngest did the dishes to ask for something, a habit they all have. And to be clear, they ONLY do chores to go places and do things, so the house is often trashed. My Dad boiled over after both things adding onto all the stress of caring for 8 people and only seeing his 3 kids 4 days a month, and it started a scream fight that she encouraged. She loves to rile him up and then play victim, and this time was no different. Despite being angry, he asks if she still wants to go get the dresser, and she says she won't ride with him even to talk it out or get the fifth dresser for their room. So me and my middle sister (14F, we'll call her D.) Go with. We get the trailer, get into town, and he calls to confirm the address. Rather than tell him, she plays hard to get to piss him off, and we leave instead, not getting the dresser and taking the trailer back. The entire way Dad, D and I air our grievances about the behavior of Wife and her kids, discussing habits we don't like and clarifying we aren't doing it to be mean. It turns out, she was also bitching about the laundry and how she does everything when I've only ever seen her do theirs and no other chores. My Dad offers to solve it by having his own basket for his own laundry and even cooking his own meals if that's what's bothering her. Instead, she takes off her wedding ring rather than accepting the solutions. We talks, discussing how yes, they've been through a lot, but so have we, and that doesn't excuse her behavior.

We get home and the fighting starts again rather quickly, we don't catch much before it dies out but he tries to reason with her. I paint and everyone is calm for a bit. Well, I'm sitting on my bed and the fighting starts again. D and I share a room right over the garage, where the fight was, and D drops to the floor to listen. Our Dad uses many of the points we brought up in the car, and it hits hard and rings true really. At some point Wife complains that we never talk to her, and Dad points out that she picks fights when we're here and we know what divorce sounds like and refuse to get attached. She calls him our for being married and divorced twice, and Dad gets petty and tells her he didn't have kids outside marriage. And finally she complains that we don't do anything, and my Dad points out that we're self sufficient and do everything when we're here. The fight continues, he keeps making points we all discussed on the way to and from the trailer and failed dresser retrieval, and he keeps bringing up the ring since he doesn't want to divorce again.

Anyways, its causing a rift and I haven't told anyone but my Mom that I helped supply points, but I just feel bad because I feel like I somehow made the fighting worse by mentioning all the shit she does and talks about him and us.

TLDR; Dad and new wife were fighting all day and my sister and I gave points and talked shit about what's been bothering us in the car and our Dad brought up those points in the fight.

So Tumblr, am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[mauesartetc]

I've observed that some HB fans with trauma feel so attached to the characters and the show that they defend every writing decision and take any criticism as a personal attack. I can understand relating to and feeling sympathy for a character because of personal experiences, but Helluva Boss is a terrible media for emotionally vulnerable teenagers and young adults to uncritically consume.

It just pisses me off that so many people will praise HB for representing abuse with Stolas and Stella, yet ignore the unhealthy relationship dynamics, abusive behaviors portrayed in a positive light and bad writing in general.

Real talk: Speaking as an emotional abuse survivor myself, it pisses me off to no end that Helluva Boss has failed to represent this subject with any sensitivity or subtlety.

It's important to remember that abusers are often charming and charismatic, and they exhibit positive traits (at least early on) that make the other person want to salvage the relationship.

What the hell are Stella's positive traits? In what little screentime she's had thus far, she's been elitist, rude, destructive, pouty, murderous, sadistic, and a little stupid (failing to consider that if Stolas died, Octavia would inherit all his wealth and leave her with nothing). While there's evidence to support the claim that she acted like she was in love early on in her marriage (she's smiling in the Loo Loo Land photo, sleeps in the same bed as Stolas in a flashback and has stated she used to pretend to want to fuck him), there's nothing to suggest her personality was ever anything but odious. Even when Stolas first sees her photo as a child, it portrays an awful little brat.

It's pretty clear Stolas has never had any reason to love her, so why does he stay?

He says it's because he wants Octavia to have "a normal life", aka a two-parent household. But how exactly does that benefit her when those parents are constantly fighting? You might think "Well, that's a lot of parents' excuse for not getting divorced, but that doesn't mean it's right", but the show never challenges his stance on this. There's never a moment when he realizes, "Oh shit, maybe my definition of 'normal' is actually hurting my daughter". He only declares he wants a divorce after his first tryst with Blitzo and on the balcony when he tells Stella he "can't do this anymore". He's doing it entirely for his benefit, not because it would improve Octavia's life.

(And because the writers blatantly favor Stolas and everything he says, I have to wonder if they actually believe the standard nuclear family represents a "normal"- implied in this case to be good and desirable - life by default, regardless of how miserable everyone in the family is. On the off-chance that is indeed the case, as someone who lost a parent at a young age: Fuck all the way off with that, show.)

Also, we're not lead to believe divorce was never an option at any point. If a royal in this world gets divorced, what are the consequences? Would Stolas lose his title? Would he be executed? The whole point of this marriage was to have a kid, so literally what was stopping them from splitting up after she was born (other than the bullshit "normal life" excuse)? Why can't Stolas just visit Octavia? Why does he have to live with her? Plenty of kids with divorced parents still get quality time with both of them. The solution was right there all along, but Stolas felt the need to wait until his daughter was seventeen to split with his wife? For some reason?? The writers try to pass it off as some noble sacrifice he's making, but in reality, he's just being a dumbass.

Okay, so maybe he's just afraid to leave, like many abused people are. I'll have to call bullshit on that, since he never even tried to keep his affair a secret. He's openly flirted with Blitzo in public (at Loo Loo Land and the Harvest Moon Festival, in front of dozens of witnesses) and met Blitzo at a couples-only nightclub, where they sat in plain view of everyone else there. Couldn't even bother using your powers to disguise yourself, bud? Or does that only work when it's convenient to the plot? If Stolas were the least bit threatened by Stella or what the Goetia family would think, he wouldn't be this bloody obvious. While it's possible this is a self-sabotage sort of thing, the show has never given us evidence that Stolas has those kinds of tendencies.

In short, Stella's a hamfisted, stereotypical portrayal of an abuser, and Stolas just doesn't come off like the abuse affects him at all (or at least not until the episode where it needs to for plot reasons). Obviously not all abusers or abuse survivors in real life will fit into the same mold, but there's straight-up zero logic to these characters' behavior. I've mentioned this very astute video before, but here's one quote that perfectly sums up how poorly this show handles character motivations:

There's a... character consistency issue that results from having these characters exist only to dispense abuse. Their actions stop adding up... [Stella's] thing is that she wants to be away from Stolas... Why does she repeatedly show up to the house just when Stolas is around to torment him? This behavior is quite strange. She does not like him. She does not want to be around him... We're to assume that Stella wants to feel mad, wants to feel bad, and that's what she wants to do with her life.

This isn't how real people act. And of course fictional characters aren't real people and any sense of agency they have is just an illusion at the end of the day. But ideally they should feel real to the audience.

I now fully understand why I was leery of these writers potentially exploring a character's addiction. It's because they've shown they can't be trusted to give serious subject matter the care and weight it deserves.

[hchollym]

How do you feel about the 'locking Percy into a pyramid' "prank"? I dunno why, but that specific one has always pissed me off.

I recently saw a post on Screen Rant listing 5 of Fred and George's pranks that were funny & 5 that were cruel, and they listed shutting Percy in a pyramid as funny... I almost screamed. 😡

It's definitely crossing the line. I don't care if Percy could have used magic to escape (which is debatable) or if the twins wouldn't have left him in there for long (which I doubt anyway); it's still wrong.

Bill's entire job is breaking curses at these pyramids; ergo, the pyramids are dangerous. Even if they've checked that this specific pyramid was safe, you never know for sure. There could have been dormant curses that became active in an enclosed space (i.e. when the door was shut) that could have effected Percy.

Not to mention that there could have been spells to prevent the use of certain magic in the pyramids, so Percy may not have been able to get out. He could have run out of oxygen or a part of the ceiling could have collapsed from suddenly closing the door (that's not supposed to be closed), and Percy could have been seriously injured.

I also don't think they would have gotten him out quickly. I fully believe they would have left him there and made some excuse to their family that he went back to the room to study for NEWTs (which his family likely would have believed).

Plus, it would have been terrifying for anyone to be locked in a pyramid, and causing genuine fear is not what I would consider a funny joke.

That being said, I don't actually think the twins intended to hurt Percy or put him in danger (just to be clear, that still does not make it okay). This is an unpopular opinion, and I know it sounds strange, but hear me out: I think the twins literally have no concept of cause & effect.

They don't seem to recognize that behavior = consequences (I don't mean consequences as in a punishment; I mean the consequences to other people that are effected). They compartmentalize their actions as being one-and-done jokes that don't have any lasting effects, and part of that is because they are incapable of taking responsibility. They know it's not fun to get in trouble, but it's never their fault when it happens; it's Percy's for being too dramatic or Ron's for being too sensitive, etc.

I headcanon that Fred & George both have ADHD (though Fred's is slightly more severe), because they have many characteristics of it (and ones that I see commonly in my students). That is not to say that all people with ADHD act this way, but it can certainly be a symptom of it. Since people with ADHD struggle with executive functioning skills, this can manifest in ways such as having trouble connecting "right now" to the future or having difficulty understanding why they hurt somebody's feelings.

This has been a pattern with Fred & George, even at a very young age (i.e. when they turned Ron's teddy bear into a giant spider), and that's why I tend to think that they have ADHD, and unfortunately, some of their traits were exacerbated by Molly & Arthur's parenting. Molly & Arthur were never consistent with them; sometimes they were punished for behavior (by Molly), but other times they were rewarded with positive feedback such as laughter (by Arthur). When children aren't held accountable for their actions consistently, it makes it very difficult to create a connection between actions, consequences, and remorse. This becomes an even bigger problem when the child is not neurotypical.

Anyway, this turned into a bit of a rant (sorry), but the point is, this "joke" was completely out of line, regardless of their motives.

Thanks for the ask! 😊

[ggswaywardgifrepository]

Man am I in my thoughts on Khaos Reigns. Spoilers, obviously. And fair warning that I disliked far more than I liked about it.

I appreciate how much attention Bi-Han was given in the narrative. However, overall, I think he was terribly written. I’m just not interested in projecting meaning and depth onto his behavior anymore. I did, and still do, see his time and behavior as Sub-Zero during the main game as more subjective than how he behaved at all in Khaos Reigns. Pre and post being Noob’d.

I’m a pretty big base game Bi-Han apologist, and can apply meaning to some of his choices. DLC Bi-Han, though… I apologize and make excuses for main game Bi-Han; I want the writers to apologize TO Khaos Reigns Bi-Han.

I’m still pleased he was so important to the plot but the character was still shafted. And that’s a pretty impressive feat. But he is just a balls to the wall asshole through Khaos Reigns, and I’m just struggling to find the reason for it. Like, his base game beefs had some merit. I guess the best I can come up with is that he’s shed the last of his restraint by the time, especially once he’s transformed.

His one—ONE—truly selfless act ended up being him going through the portal after Havik. He acknowledges that something happening to Geras will be disastrous and does what needs to be done. It’s unfortunate it was so overwhelmed by shitty things happening to him, or him just choosing to do terrible things. Who’da thunk it that that would be the smartest and most sensible thing Bi-Han did in the whole story?

Well written characters don’t drag us by the feet from plot point to plot point. A lot of this came off as shallow, rushed, inorganic.

Bi-Han being the one to defeat Titan Havik was satisfying, but Liu Kang suddenly caring about what killing a Titan would do their timeline? Like we didn’t just wreck Titan Shang Tsung’s shit??? Even if Titan Havik was potentially connected to more timelines, Johnny, Rain, and Tanya proved that even in the most fucked of timelines goodness existed. He surely damned decent people in Titan Shang Tsung’s timeline, too. He couldn’t be any surer there was no one but his minions left, right?

IDFK. One of many inconsistencies in this new timeline’s story.

Noob’s time as Havik’s henchman was pathetically short, too. And the person who drops his henchman self isn’t Kuai Liang? Or even Sektor? He doesn’t even have a real fight against Scorpion? Because Scorpion didn’t get a chapter and it wasn’t worked into Noob’s chapter. (He was shameless and aggressive enough it honestly could’ve been.)

Don’t get me wrong, I really liked Empress Tanya, but the single playable character per chapter structure really, really hurt this installment. There were multiple instances where the wrong character got the playable fight against the enemy onscreen/impeding the heroes’ progress.

The tower endings for both Sektor and Noob also seem to shit on Liu Kang’s plan to keep Bi-Han safe while he attempts to restore him fully. And that pisses me off. Because the thing that gave me hope about this whole charade was that we’d finally get a Bi-Han redemption story. He may spend the rest of his days disfigured for what Havik did to him, which is fine, but his spirit would be pure. He’d feel remorse and care to redeem himself. It may still happen; I know tower endings aren’t 100% canon, but there tend to be snippets there.

I can only hope that Sektor becoming involved with Quan Chi leads to Sareena being a part of the story and a key factor in Bi-Han’s redemption.

I honestly thought all of his restoration, or the hints thereof, were going to be part of the ending. I expected him to consciously choose to fight against Havik before Liu Kang “restored his mind”. (If that is what Liu Kang considers Bi-Han with his mind resorted roflmao).

Smoke was robbed, as were several characters who deserved to play a larger role (Kitana, for one). Did Tomas even have a single line? I truly can’t remember, he was there so little.

I’m annoyed that Emperor Rain and Empress Tanya were written better as a couple than Tanya and Mileena, because the series is sorely lacking in queer representation. They’re it at this point and they’re sadly, canonically, a kinda boring and neglected ship.

Cyrax is adorable and I loved her. I know some people don’t like her voice or her look, and I’m still lukewarm about the genderswap, but I really liked her. I think her characterization was closest to its roots of any of the DLC characters.

Boy was I wrong about Sektor. I liked her but the trailer cleverly implied she was more of a team good guy player than she is. She openly cooperated with the good guys but it was entirely motivated by her loyalty and personal affection for Bi-Han.

It was extremely refreshing to see Harumi, period. She not only lived but was portrayed as a competent and sympathetic character. One of very few things the DLC did well with.

Several of the skins are fantastic. I love Khaos Takeda, Kitana, and Mileena. Khaos Shang Tsung is awful though. Absolutely hated his look for all 12 seconds he was there.

Overall, though, the DLC was a massive disappointment. It cost $$$, only lasted a couple of hours, and there was no post credits scene to give me anything to look forward to and make the underwhelming story experience more palatable.

And if you loved it, congrats. If you have all the “this is actually a lot deeper because” metas and headcanons, go you. I’m happy for you. I wanted to like this enough to at least try to rationalize what I didn’t like. I really thought I would.

[gffa]

"it could be worse. he could have almost killed an innocent person." she says about people who likely or absolutely HAVE killed innocent people before and have literally nothing stopping them from doing it again. and what the fuck are you gonna do WHEN they do it again, selina?

Honestly, I'm interpreting that scene through the lens of Selina isn't being entirely honest in the way she talks to Jason--she's pissed at him for joining her side by pretending that he's agreeing with her, when he clearly doesn't, when he's been shit-talking her ideas the entire time, just using it as an excuse to pummel her guys instead of training them (in her eyes), and using her to get to the Joker instead of actually helping her. I read her as deliberately antagonizing him in that scene because she's sick of his shit and, if he's going to be a shit to her, she'll be a shit right back to him, by pretending to not take this seriously just because she knows it'll piss him off. I mean, I'm with you in that I think Selina being forced into this entire plan is bad writing on her behalf, SELINA IS SMARTER THAN THIS, HOW DARE YOU INSULT HER INTELLIGENCE, DC, but in that scene specifically, it worked for me, because she is soooooo annoyed with this whiny little shit, he deserves her serving up the same shit right back to him.

That is the face of a woman who has HAD ENOUGH of Jason Todd's bullshit and Selina's style has always been to dig her claws into someone by lying about what she does or doesn't care about. I think Selina does care that these people have probably killed innocent people before, but her counterpoint is: She can't do anything to bring those people back and now she's trying to stop more innocent people from being killed by offering a different path. She's taking a harm reduction path as much as she can. Yeah, they're going to make mistakes, but if she can still reduce those mistakes, isn't it worth trying? Or is one mistake enough that she should never try any other path ever again, even though it means they'll immediately go back to killing lots of innocent people? I know that path is annoyingly bad on an authorial level, we the audience can poke so many holes in it (and I think the narrative mostly agrees), but within the story, I think her reaction isn't that she doesn't care, it's that she's deliberately needling Jason because he's been getting on her nerves with his behavior and this was designed to set him off, and like. He was being kind of a little shitty to her, I say with full affection for what a hot mess he is. And she's not trying to eradicate ALL innocent people's deaths (because that's NOT POSSIBLE, it's not a feasible goal in her mind), but she's trying to bring the numbers down so at least MORE PEOPLE will live. Mistakes will happen. Sometimes innocent people will die and that hurts like hell, it shouldn't happen. But it does. She's trying to be a realist about it, there are more innocent people that will die if something isn't done, and so she'll get up and keep trying again.

[gingerylangylang1979]

Carmy, Sydney, and Marcus... Because We Will Never Shut Up About It.

Deep thoughts while waiting for the feeling to come back to my mouth after a dental procedure, so forgive me if this is all over the place:

The dynamics between Carmy, Sydney, and Marcus have sparked endless posts due to key scenes in E7 and E8. Most takes seem to be polarized to either sympathize with Carmy or sympathize with Sydney and Marcus. I’m here to say a binary view is a reductive take. I’m approaching this from a perspective of social consciousness, personal experience, and objectivity needed when creating meaningful commentary on media. Hell, I’m even going to say it’s crucial to analyzing culture in general. Ignoring these factors is much of the reason people fail in relating to each other and moving forward together from a place of understanding and commonality. I’m probably going to piss some people off with my points but please at least read to the end and then be pissed off all you want. 

The usual opinions regarding these three tend to fall into two camps. One, Carmy failed and is a horrible boss and his white man pain does not excuse his behavior and Sydney and Marcus are at no fault and are trying to reach excellence, within a system that is not in their favor, without proper support. Two, Sydney and Marcus are totally to blame for what happened and Carmy deserved to snap and shouldn’t have apologized or accepted them back. Both opinions are usually presented simplistically, sometimes with a few more shades of nuance, but essentially this is the essence of what I’m seeing voiced. Strictly agreeing with one or the other is not accurate. 

My conclusions from take one are that Sydney and Marcus are deserving of leadership that will foster and guide their development to a higher level but Carmy in his current state is incapable of giving them what they need. That doesn’t make him a monster, it makes him human, regardless if he is a white man in pain or not. I don’t know any man or woman in his situation that wouldn’t be struggling given his lived experience. I don’t know any human who is having panic attacks at the drop of a dime, is always on the verge of tears, is still freshly grieving, dissociates, and sleep cooks who would be able to give new employees their best and maintain composure at all times. It’s just not realistic. Just because someone has authority doesn’t mean they can deliver what is needed at all times. 

Sydney and Marcus are both young Black professionals striving for more in Carmy’s kitchen under his uneasy authority. He isn’t looking at them as employees to mentor, he's looking at them as talented resources to help foster stability. That’s where he is at with them professionally. That’s all he has to give. It’s a case of bad timing, not a bad person. Sydney and Marcus were not getting the leadership they desperately needed and their lived experiences aren’t recognized but despite their lived experiences they would still be in the same scenario. Anybody coming into that kitchen would not be getting Carmy’s best. That sucks but it is what it is. 

Much has been said about how we shouldn’t dismiss the relationship between Carmy and Sydney as mentor and mentee because she has stellar credentials, is a superb cook, is a capable leader (in ways Carmy fails), has business experience, and has saved The Beef many times. She is invaluable. So I agree that we shouldn’t just reduce her to a mentee in Carmy’s kitchen. But she did seek to work with him for a reason. She does think she can learn from him. So while she may not be super subordinate to him she herself acknowledges that she has something to gain from him. She told this to Richie in E2. She said they could ALL learn a lot from him. She wants to get to the level of perfection she reveres him for. He made the best dish she’s ever had. She is seeking something from him she didn’t get in her previous experiences, even as her own boss. That does not diminish her, that’s saying basically what her words and actions have shown us. Carmy gave her a title but he never outlined the dynamic and was wishy-washy. One minute she is “everything else” the next he’s “Yes, Cheffing” her. She was confused on where she stood at any time. When he gave feedback or tried to get her on point he never explained how or why. When he snapped at her about Tina’s insubordination I think he was trying to get her to see it didn’t matter, he wasn’t going to micromanage personal dynamics and she needed to steer the ship and do what needed to get service back on track. Instead of that he just barked. Instead of telling her what was up with the risotto and offering to workshop it with her, he was just dismissive and offered a wet eyed apology. He failed to communicate properly when she urgently needed it. 

Marcus is totally new to elevated cuisine having worked at McDonald’s and his time at The Beef under Michael. Once he sees that Carmy and Sydney are coming from a whole other world he is intrigued and wants more. Moving from bread baking to becoming a real pastry chef is his vision. Another establishment may have gotten rid of him once they outsourced bread but he was kept on and given a new trajectory. He admirably catches a spark and runs with it. He starts putting in the work to immerse himself in fine patisserie knowledge and practice. Carmy does allow Marcus space to experiment. He does give Sydney authority to lead. But what he offers them is messy, undefined, and not fully realized because he isn’t capable and he is unaware of how this is being internalized by them. 

Mentally, he doesn’t have the bandwidth and he also doesn’t have a healthy model to reference. We all know it takes a lot of work for someone abused to break the cycle of abuse. All he knows is his own experience. It’s easy to say okay dude, don’t do that but it's harder to just flick a switch and be different. It’s even harder when you are in your own crisis mode and are starting from fucked. Carmy’s trauma can’t just be switched off nor can his bad habits. He tries, he fails. It’s not an excuse but it is an explanation. He is a white man in pain but he’s also human. Sydney and Marcus happen to be at the receiving end. Not fair, but also not intentional. He knows he wants to do better, better just didn’t come fast enough. 

My conclusions from take two are that Sydney and Marcus did make mistakes but they are not worthy of continued blame and Carmy should learn from his loss of control. Sydney totally deserves a pass. As mentioned, she came through for the team big time on numerous occasions. When she quit that’s when Carmy went into full meltdown. Him screaming wasn’t it, to me. Him losing it when she left was the full meltdown. He knows he needs her. She’s MVP. She was overworked, underpaid, harassed by Richie, and hazed. She could have and arguably should have quit many times. She could have gotten a job elsewhere but she chose to stay committed to The Beef until she couldn’t. She reached her breaking point and was like why am I putting up with this shit? I wouldn’t have, I would have been like see ya way before she did.  She helped Carmy transform that place, as noted by Tina and Marcus, yet received very little in return. Maybe she abandoned the team but how many times did Carmy leave her in the lurch? Carmy messed up by not taking the minute he always asks her for and touching base about the tension over the review and making sure they were aligned on all points before launching a new service model. They could have done the run through she seemed to be asking for but he was full steam ahead and ignoring the issue. 

Marcus is a slightly different story. No, I don’t think he deserves to be berated endlessly nor is he a lost cause but he does need to realize that while maybe making cakes and being on task E7 wouldn’t have fixed the shit show his repeated lack of listening to both Carmy and Sydney about staying on task was ignored. He did get space to do his thing all he was asked was to not get sidetracked. Carmy said he trusted him but he still didn’t listen. Carmy gave him a pep talk after he still didn’t listen and blew a fuse in the middle of a day that already started fucked. He still didn’t listen. The day they were starting a new service model and Carmy warned him to stay on task he still didn’t listen. When Sydney got onto him about it he still didn’t listen. That’s a lesson any employee needs to learn. I don’t care how talented and passionate you are what work place would allow you to just not listen after multiple reminders? You simply have to follow direction. Him not processing that is a huge flaw. The thing is a good, capable leader would take the time and work with him to establish a way to prioritize and create a development plan. They would see that he is going to sink if he doesn’t get that under control. It just wasn’t the time for that in the midst of all the chaos of getting The Beef solvable and Carmy wasn’t equipped to give that or recognize it was needed. What I do fault Carmy with is not taking control and realizing they couldn’t do the impossible in E7. He should have just stopped, regrouped, canceled the orders, and done a post-mortem on what went wrong. His blowup wasn’t just about the to-go’s or the review. He was holding it together, barely, for months and this was him finally blowing a fuse. 

I think when some see the scene of Sydney and Marcus talking shit about Carmy they stay stuck on neither accepting blame. I took the scene as two young Black professionals bonding and talking shit because coworkers talk shit about their boss. As far as demanding apologies from Carmy or Sydney and Marcus, fine, sure, whatever. Carmy did apologize to both of them. Maybe it wasn’t as gushing and dramatic as some think he needs to be to atone. I dunno, I think it was okay for where we are in the story. Sydney and Marcus are still a bit bitter and cautious, as one would expect after being chastised in front of peers. I don’t think it’s fair to expect them to prostrate themselves to Carmy, someone they are still giving a bit of side eye to after he did humiliate them. They don’t fully understand what’s up with Carmy. He keeps things well guarded. When he opened up about Al-Anon Sydney, rightfully so, she said it was too personal. So he takes that as let me keep my shit to myself, like I always have, we ain’t that close, sorry. By the same token, Sydney and Marcus may not be at the point of being like hey, these are my experiences being Black in the workplace, thirsty for more, and feeling marginalized so I’m sensitive to x, y, z. 

Everyone is in their own story and not fully transparent because they are all navigating how to exist together joyfully and productively. Nor is anyone a mind reader. But really, at the core all three of their needs and struggles are universal. Who hasn’t felt unsupported and taken for granted? Who hasn’t had to keep adulting when their world is crumbling? I think what’s needed more is a sit down between all of them to hash it out. What we got in E8 was venting from Sydney and Marcus and guilty resignation from Carmy. Not satisfying, but realistic. They have work to do as a team. They need love and forward positive movement more than they need some perceived deserved atonement. Words are easy and cheap. Anybody can say they sorry, what they actually gonna do?

My whole point is we need to look at all of them as just people. I’m not saying be blind to identity but at the core everyone’s arc could be anyone’s arc. All of their struggles are universal. I am a Black woman and I relate to all three of them for various reasons. Like Sydney, I have been the young Black girl thrust into leadership but not supported in growth. My authority has been questioned, I’ve been bullied, I’ve been given too much on my plate because I’m “so capable and being held to a higher standard.” Like Marcus, I’ve hyper fixated on a new passion to the point of obsession and had trouble figuring out how to maintain the baseline while chasing perfection. Like Carmy, I have depression and anxiety, had an addict family member who died suddenly (my mom, I didn’t go to the funeral either and had to go back home abruptly) yet still had to be the boss of a shit show while trying to heal, deal, not overshare, share, yet ask for a minute that was never given all at the same time. 

I don’t know if I’m making any sense but I think everyone needs to look deeper if they seek to prioritize any of these character’s needs over another and be dismissive of anyone’s struggles. I think that’s what the show is kind of about. And maybe do the same thing with people IRL. Anything else is unproductive and unkind. There is not enough mercy, grace, empathy, and understanding. 

Anyways, be blessed and Happy Holidays! 

Edited to add: In no way am I dismissing the conscious or unconscious bias of some viewers who fail to empathize with Sydney and Marcus. I forgot to include that earlier. My point is conscious and unconscious bias can be at play with either take on the conflicts between these three characters.

[takaispog]

DSAF hot take [not really]

Steven x Peter is less horrible than Davesport. I'm only saying this due to the amount of HATE I've seen for the Steven x Peter ship. I get having opinions, but outright hating on the ship and calling it "toxic" has been pissing me off.

If you want to talk "toxic", let's talk about Davesport!

I ship Davesport myself, but ONLY Flipside Davesport. I do NOT ship Jack and Dave during the first or second games, nor do I ship Davetrap with Jack, no matter how many romantic lines there are between them, I will NOT ship them then. Dave practically ruined Jack's life. He outright doesn't feel remorse for anything he's done, only when his soul is split does he feel bad. But the fact he had to have his soul SPLIT IN TWO to realize what he did was wrong, and even then Flipside Dave has to FIND OUT Henry is a bad person and still defends him until he comes to the conclusion Henry is a bad person.

Dave was manipulated BADLY, I get that, but it doesn't excuse the shit he did.

The amount of toxicity between the two of them if you decide not to help Dave is BAD. It shows how easily Dave can turn on Jack if Jack decides not to go along with everything he wants.

Also Dave.. stalks Jack? I don't know why people romanticize that. Stalking is fucking CRAZY behavior and I don't care if Jack "doesn't care" THAT ISN'T CUTE.

Flipside Dave is a DIFFERENT STORY. That's why I only ship his good side with Jack.

Now for Steven x Peter! I don't get why people hate the ship so bad. I get having opinions, I have opinions of my own, but usually my opinions are backed by.. valid points?

I get why Steven x Peter can be seen as "toxic", but outright it just.. isn't? At least not to the extent people think it is. If you want to bring up the point of "Steven turning Peter into a phone guy and basically ruining his life", you'd be hypocritical to the fact Dave also ruined JACK'S life.

You cannot defend a ship that is, on realistic standards, WORSE while hating on a ship that isn't even that bad.

Peter never outright says anything bad towards Steven. I've played through the game multiple times, I don't even think they get angry at each other ONCE.

Steven also goes to APOLOGIZE to Peter for what he did. They're not shown to be mean towards each other throughout the 3rd game. It mostly comes down to mischaracterization [people making Peter into a "bad guy" when in reality he's one of the characters that hasn't done anything horrible, making Steven into "anxious boy" when he's not and he's just scared of dying [he's still an asshole, he just wants to change]] and I see that A LOT with this fandom.

Get a grip.

And Peter's line about some people not deserving to be saved, I don't know why people decided that was about Steven? It could've been about Dave or even himself.

At the end of the day, Steven x Peter isn't as toxic as the fandom makes them out to be. You can have your headcanons and say they hate each other, but leave people alone when they say they ship them together.

It's literally a game about pixel men and child murder. As long as you aren't shipping characters together that are ACTUALLY EXTREMELY toxic or just fucking illegal [im looking at YOU proshippers.] you're fine.

Ship Flipside Davesport, ship Steven x Peter!! As long as you're happy and you aren't causing others harm, you're fine.

That's about it!! Thank you for reading <3

[paceypeternathanslawyer]

I have so many thoughts in my head tonight that I feel that this will be a hard one to get down in writing cohesively.

I'm rewatching a Season 4 Naley scene and am reminded of a comment I saw on Tik Tok of someone who said that Nathan led Rachel on in season 4. That take is bullshit honestly. Nathan was suicidal and kind of had a one track mind about the accident. Nathan was only interested in Rachel to find out what she may know about the accident. The truth of the matter is that Rachel knew that. Rachel knew why Nathan was hanging out with her as much as he did (which I wouldn't say was an inordinate amount of time). When they go to the after game party in 4x03 Nathan has that conversation with Rachel where he gets a bit too close to her. From a director point of view they wanted to do that so that Haley could see them and be jealous but also Nathan is so unaware of his surroundings most of the time. He's just kind of in his own head and is very depressed at that time. So it's not a romantic thing or an attraction thing or really anything. He talks to Rachel trying to figure out if she saw anything during the accident and Rachel can tell that he's obsessed with something but is not quite sure what. The scene after that Nathan is talking to Peyton and he is talking about how he thought he saw Keith under the water. They make a point of showing Rachel spying in on this conversation/taking note of it. Then in the next episode Rachel lies as an excuse to get him alone and says to Nathan that she did see Keith under the water. This is manipulative behavior. It's also incredibly insensitive to use/bait this poor dude who depressed and lost his Uncle Keith. But also that's on Rachel. Nathan did not lead her on. She knew precisely why he was hanging around her and she knew that he was in love with his wife. BTW she knew he was married and tried to steal him. I hate that bitch and there are seriously some people who are so obsessed with her that will trash Haley for rightfully being upset with her and will try and make Nathan out to be a manipulative dude when he's just a suicidal and depressed guy who isn't completely aware of how obsessed and manipulative Rachel is. The scene where Haley bitch slaps Rachel... people will seriously act like Haley's the devil for doing that... I mean those people do realize that Rachel got her fired, body shamed her (called her fat and said she had a little head), sort of ruined her wedding by making a huge scene and making it about herself and then almost immediately after causes a car accident that nearly killed Nathan/one of his only remaining uncles on his wedding day, and tried to steal her husband right? It's unbelievable the Rachel blinders some people have.

BTW. She forced on a kiss on him even before the party. All he had done was save her and his Uncle Cooper from death and she forced a kiss on him. Rachel does not need to be led on to be a crazy bitch!! I'm sorry but screw Rachel. I have no patience for anyone who make a game out of trying to steal people from their significant others. And I have no patience for people who sexually assault others. Rachel only backed off when she found out that Haley was pregnant. That makes me so pissed off. So this dude is fair game when he's married but he's gonna be a father then she tries to act like she has a shred of morals. I love the line that Nathan says to Rachel

RACHEL: Nathan. If Haley wasn’t pregnant … did I have a shot?

NATHAN: Not for a second

The way he says it is the best part. With 0 hesitation and with all the conviction in the world lmao. Like seriously? She was so delusional that she thought the only reason he was remaining with Haley was cause she was pregnant?! BITCH this man is obsessed with his wife so stay in your fucking lane!!

-

Speaking of above board I love this conversation between Nathan and Haley in 4x03. I love how honest Nathan is and completely sincere and above board. He's not playing games. Nathan is so in his own head and depressed he really didn't understand how Haley's been internalizing his emotional distance. So in this moment when Haley is honest with him and tells him her feelings you can see the surprise in his reaction. He doesn't hesitate to make her feel better in the most honest and sincere way and it makes me so happy. To feel both of their relief. Nathan is relieved cause he got this off his chest and Haley is relieved because he opened up to her. The relief is palpable in the way James and Joy play this scene...

HALEY: You keep going to that bridge. I never thought I’d be jealous of a river

NATHAN: You know how much I like the water

HALEY: I’m really trying not to be jealous and I want to be understanding but, uh it’s really hard with you sneaking around

NATHAN: I’m sorry

HALEY: I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to let me in … whatever it is, you know? … even if it has suh--something with Rachel … even if you like her. I just want you to tell me

NATHAN: Do you think I like Rachel? Haley, I was just, I was just talking to her about the accident

NATHAN: I just wanted to know if she saw him, too

HALEY: Saw who?

NATHAN: Keith. I think he’s the one that pulled me out of that car. I’m nobody’s hero

HALEY: Why didn’t you tell me?

NATHAN: Because I thought it would go away--I thought basketball would fix it, but it didn’t

HALEY: Nathan, your problems are my problems … I want us to figure this out together… and you’re wrong. You’re my hero

NATHAN: So you don’t think I’m crazy?

HALEY: No, I do not think you’re crazy

HALEY: … You think I’m fat?

NATHAN: What?! … Of course not

HALEY: Do I have a little head?

NATHAN: No … I love your head. Come here

(Nathan kisses Haley on the forehead and she smiles)

HALEY: … So that’s why you keep going down to that bridge?

NATHAN: For that and …

(NATHAN reaches into his pocket and pulls out the cracker jack bracelet he gave her in season 1)

NATHAN: … this. I love you, Haley

HALEY: I love you, too, Nathan Scott

[stellamortua]

RULES

Yo whaddup I’m Ringo, I’m 21+ (she/her) and I never freaking learned how to read. I have 10+ years of Tumblr RP experience.

I'm also fully up to date on all 9 Parts!

About My Jonathan:

I default to post Wind Knight's Lot with memories of Eyes of Heaven, but am flexible. My Jonathan has severe ADHD.

To My Dio Friends:

Hey there you rapscallions! ;D Come on in!

I am open to shipping, but expectations must be set beforehand. I am not interested in toxic or nonconsensual romantic relationships at this time;

What I mean is, I have seen too many Jonathans flipping on their backs to DIO's will and forgetting that they have a very complicated relationship with positives and negatives. Always happy to discuss in DMs!

Just because Jonathan still cares about Dio doesn't mean he's going to save him from his pissed off descendants. Dio did that to himself there, pal.

How I Operate:

I follow muses that I know, preferably Jojo's. OCs must have an info page. Duplicates welcome;

Mun does not equal Muse. I like to get to know my RP partners;

All forms of writing are valid. Do not be afraid to be a jerk to my muse :D;

I love plotting and am always available via IM. Discord reserved for mutuals;

COMMUNICATE with me. I am not psychic. Help me help you!;

Please practice reblog karma if you want to use a prompt I shared;

I only interact with mutuals and I am slow with replies;

I am multi-ship. I will only write NSFW in private with legal age partners; Limits (and consent) must be established beforehand;

I will always read your rules before interacting;

I will be there for you in your time of need, but I am not a licensed therapist.

Reasons for Being Blocked:

Guilt tripping. Real life before role play. You are not obligated to my time;

Demonstrating P*dophilic/Zoophilic/Far Right/Tankie Behavior;

Failing to stop God Modding/forcing headcannons on me after being asked;

Disabilities/disorders do not excuse behavior. Signed, a fellow neurodivergent;

Passive aggression, playing the victim, vague blogging, virtue signaling, etc. I do not do anon asks for a reason.

[kitnita]

Talk Hockey To Me

(tag game)

tagged by @eliooliver83 @oetter & @txstars!! mwah thank you!!!

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

i am a lifelong member of the 'being insane about sports' club in that i still have a poster of my baseball team's 2005 roster hanging over my bed & used to get SO pissed in middle school when boys in my class had incorrect college basketball opinions. but hockey was just? never on my radar?? due to the south texas of it all. then i went to college for broadcast in new york state & made friends with some guys majoring in sports broadcast and was like wait ....... there's a sport they talk about that i can't talk about (i loved knowing more about sports than boys so this was a serious blow) (football doesnt count i decided when i was a kid that i didn't care about football therefore its not real) & a friend of mine with whom i watched the world series was like no i've got you i can get you into hockey. i realize now she just wanted an excuse to proselytize about the new york islanders.

but anyway yeah!! i stuck with being fond of them because of her & then added the stars because as a Texan i had to root for them & also tyler seguin hooked me. i was a casual fan until there were absolutely No Sports in 2020 & i accidentally stumbled upon hockeyblr just in time to get hyper mega insane about hockey before the bubble playoffs.

2. Your first ever fandom friend

like any normal well adjusted person i feel weird calling someone my friend even if we're friendly because what if they don't actually like me (again this is normal & well adjusted behavior) that said tanya txstars was the first hashtag mutual i had in starsblr whomst i feel like i talked to via the tags!!

3. The jersey you would most like to own

wait have i ever mentioned that i own a mooterus jersey. it was like eighty dollars off depop because its a) womens cut & b) a size small which means that while it does technically fit, my tits stop it from looking like, you know, a jersey should look on the human body. so i'd love one that i can wear without feeling ridiculous!! through logan stankoven all things are possible!!! i'm generally a jersey thrifter so i do love the $16 tyler jersey i found but im sure one day ill bite the bullet and buy a non-secondhand otter jersey.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

unfortunately goalies are inherently endearing & then on top of that he's also insane in the most confounding way possible so jake oettinger is My Guy whether he likes it or not

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

as someone who has written just over half of the robotter fic out there in the world: please put more robotter fic out there in the world. also i think robo & otter both deserve to fuck otter's goalie partner. also also it's not technically a pairing but i think we as a people need to embrace delly's clear & evident love for throuples and start sticking him in other peoples relationships. it's what he would want <3

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

jason robertson laying flat on his back on the ice after finishing his first career hat trick lives in my head rent free btw. if you even care. it just plays on a fucking loop up there. also the the dellymiro delly's first goal celly. also also that time those flames fans tried to actually curse jake midgame. like on the one hand what the fuck but on the other hand i actually admire that kind of dedication yk

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

i'm still foaming at the mouth over @txstars's rule 63 robotter fic!! also i think it's clear what robo ship i've dedicated myself to but everyone in the roboroope trenches is soooo impressive to me. i see the vision. @winningmachine's stats guy robo fic is a foundational text. thank you @starscelly for also giffing insane random things during games. there's so many other fun people in starsblr specifically & hockeyblr generally but see above re: being normal and well adjusted so You Know Who You Are & also I Love Your Work

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

my magnum opus ............ the robotter primer. linking anything else feels weird BUT please enjoy my unhinged labor of love. i saw someone mentioned it to that gay hockey tournament blog but didnt want to link it?? please link it places. put how unhinged i was/am about them on blast.

tagging @coffeehound91 @moregraceful @hintzy!!! & also idk who has and hasn't been tagged so if you see this & would like to do it please do & feel free to tag me as the person who tagged you because i am a certified nosy bitch & love seeing other people talk about themselves <3

[whitehartlane]

re: the forrest fan news: i saw some comments on reddit (i know what did i expect) reacting to it and they pissed me off even further i need to get it off my chest—

like 1.) there were comments like “how can you be racist to sonny he’s the nicest” or “imagine racially abusing the nicest player in the league” and it just irritated me so much like - how nice a person is or isn’t is fucking irrelevant to SOMEONE ELSE’s racist behavior towards them???? like i hate this comment??? i have a huge side eye for these ppl bc they’re the ones that feel fine unleashing racist abuse toward ppl as soon as they stray out of “niceness”

and 2.) there was a comment saying “well you know that’s real racism bc koreans statistically aren’t poor or violent or uneducated or any of these other things racists use against other races, it’s totally illogical to discriminate them so it’s just pure racism” — like wow, some jaw dropping ignorance i couldn’t believe…to me, reading that, i’m just like …you’re racist? coming from an asian person living in the west…lemme not even get started on how ignorant and harmful (and literally just racist lol) this type of thinking is…

sorry for ranting in your asks unprovoked 😖these comments just brought up some bad memories and i hope, in case someone who has similar thoughts whenever sonny gets racially abused reads this, can kinda stop and rethink like why that reaction is not … helpful.

hi anon!! yeah i saw these comments on reddit too. you’ve basically said everything that needs to be said but i’m just flabbergasted every time that the topic of racism and specifically anti asian racism comes up in football circles people are so utterly uneducated and downright odd about it. don’t get me started on people going “but sonny’s so nice, how could you racially abuse him” as if being mean or nasty excuses racism? these are the same kinds of people who say that players like vini jr (whatever your personal opinion of him may be) provoke racism because they wind people up on the pitch or whatever. can’t believe this has to be said but your personal opinion on a person or their behaviour does not excuse racial abuse towards them and same with that thing that was like ‘erm actually statistically koreans aren’t poor or uneducated so you know any discrimination towards them is proper racism’ like oh my fucking days can we be serious? i don’t even have the patience to get into how fucking horrid that statement is.

it’s mad that every season we’ve got to hear of at least one cunt that’s been banned from watching footy at the stadiums because they’ve racially abused sonny like how many more times does this need to happen? and what breaks my heart even more is that despite this being a regular occurrence sonny’s talked about how life in germany was difficult for him bc of racism like how much worse was it for him here? honestly just glad that spurs (and the other clubs involved) take stuff like this seriously, honestly think that’s one of the major reasons he feels at home in london.

[hanako-san]

all my posts about Daikon where I criticize her or hate her - Just read them if you want why

This post is being created so that I can simply copy it when the time comes for daikon. Honestly, I'm not going to make excuses for my hatred towards her. But I decided to do it because in the end I get one and the same thing. This post will be long because I wanted to write it when I finish a certain stage, and that's exactly what happened and I think this post is necessary and thanks to this I won't repeat myself when the time comes.

Daikon is hated, which is an unusual phenomenon apparently in this fandom, especially here. Actually, it's not surprising because I've never once seen a daikon being hated or anyone complaining about her actions and deeds. Only sympathy and all hatred for this 'evil' Hanako, making her a victim.

Yes, this 'sweet, perfect, charming, beauty' yashiro nene has haters or people who just don't like her, not only this 'evil' Hanako.I am one of them. I'm really not ashamed to admit it.

1) As Hanako Stan, I have no obligation to love the daikon and this ship. Why? Hanako isn't the reason I hate her. I know this fandom likes blames everything on Hanako and not the daikon, but it doesn't work that way. I'm not denying it, I hate her, I'm literally disgusted by the way she treats Hanako, but that's just one of many reasons for my hatred, and Hanako is just a factor in my hatred growing, but she doesn't really have anything to say about it. It's convenient to blame Hanako for this, but not this time. Take Hanako out of history and my hatred will remain with me. Why? Since the only person who arouses such strong contempt and hatred in her and literally disgusts me, and I hate her to my core, the person responsible for my such strong hatred is Yashiro nene aka daikon. Surprised? Because I don't. My hatred came with time. I used to love her and this ship, but there are things about her that really piss me off, and I'll give those reasons later when I finish everything I have to say. I changed my mind because I can't tolerate her behavior. I don't care about her personality and age, these are not enough reasons to give any pass, I don't feel sorry for her because she is a "naive girl". You can't count on my sympathy. I'm cold and ruthless towards her, but Hanako has nothing to do with it, so this "no one forces me to hate nene" is not true, the only person who forces me is yahsiro nene. Therefore as Hanako I have no obligation to love her, just because he loves her doesn't mean I should too. It doesn't work that way. I will not be nicer to her because she is a girl, because of her character or age.

There is absolutely no point in blaming Hanako for my hatred. It's time to look in the face and realize that it's time to put the blame on yashiro. Her cheerful, loving and naive nature doesn't appeal to me. It's funny to me that daikon stans have a problem with my hatred and daikon stans also contributed to the explosion of my hatred. so FTW XD

2) What Hanako did and what I think. This is my private matter. I don't need to be reminded of what he's doing because I know it and I completely accept it, whether I like his actions or not. Hanako always He has no problem apologizing, he takes full responsibility for what he does ,again has no problem admitting guilt, and I'm proud of him. He does something consciously, knowing that he is doing something wrong, but he KNOWS it and will not hesitate to do it. He's not a coward and that's why I admire him. He is not morally pure and has his flaws, but he completely agrees with that. Whether I like his actions or not is entirely up to me. I will support him no matter what I think because he deserves it. I understand why he does it and I don't think he's selfish, his actions are not selfish, it's complete bullshit, he always does something with someone he loves in mind, but I've written so many posts on this topic that you can really just go through it to find these posts. I wrote the last one a few months ago and I really don't intend to repeat it here - for me it's a closed topic. The only person who is selfish is me, because I only care about HIM, his feelings, making him happy, etc., I only pay attention to him and I will stand by his side. Hanako is important to me here, he is my number one and I will take care of him first and it's high time for it to be talked about. Just because I don't criticize him for his actions doesn't mean I don't have negative thoughts about his actions, but I do. I completely ignore it and don't care. I'm here to support this boy and I have no intention of stopping, no matter what I think. I'll support him, okay? And I know perfectly well what he did and I really don't need to be reminded. I think turning a cat's tail to whiten a daikon is pathetic. She also has bad deeds, and the narrative describes her attempts to whitewash her for her sins, but this will never happen. She also considers herself innocent, but that doesn't mean she is. She's guilty as hell there! But no one has ever done what I did and started pointing out at her, expressing hatred and venting about it. Everything went to Hanako. The fact that Hanako is also complicit in certain actions does not mean that the daikon is pure as a whistle, because she is just as guilty as he is, the fact that she is ignorant and does not listen is none of my business. I'm not going to put all the blame on him when I don't think so and I know he's not entirely to blame for the daikon's actions. Just because she's 'naive, sweet, amorous' doesn't mean you can let her do anything and ignore her because that's who she is. That's not how it works. She did a lot of bad actions and deeds before and she still does them and there is no problem and turning everything back on Hanako won't help. It's time to understand this. I've said it so many times and this is the last time I say it.

3) daikon and Hanako's relationship is one big joke. The more I re-read in English or in my language, the more I become convinced of it. I see these changes in daikon, but what's the point if they are only temporary. I won't tolerate her trampling on him and her 'love'. jokes. They shouldn't be together and I've been thinking about it since p.p. arc. I gave her enough chances that she didn't deserve and that's enough. My tolerance and kindness also have limits. Just because they are canon doesn't mean it's a good ship, as AR wants to show. Her care for him. If she was like that, she wouldn't rely on him all the time, she would start listening to him and stop blaming him for a lot of things that were her fault, but she never once apologized to him, and when she did, it was disingenuous because she went back to that behavior. She was too used to Hanako taking everything upon herself, which ultimately made her innocent. She can't even respect Hanako. And I really don't care about her temporary changes where the AR for the plot will show that she 'loves' him when later it is the way it is. I'm tired of waiting, it's over 100 chapters. Enough already!

4) It's none of my business if I frustrate or scare anyone with what I do with daikon. Seriously, not mine. Am I mean and rude? I do not care about it. I also had to go through my hell when I silently hated daikon and was indifferent to it. Writing such things is pointless and I don't know what the purpose is, arouse some sympathy in me that my posts hurt someone? Stop manipulating me with your hurts feelings in any way, it's pathetic. I don't care about it.

WHY I HATE DAIKON - POST IS HERE

others posts - X, X,X,X,X,X and my FIRST POST is HERE

I often repeat myself in posts, and in the newest one at the top I added many of my thoughts. complementing the thoughts I said earlier, like n that I don't think Hanako is selfish because this witch wants to live. These posts are enough to send a clear signal that I despise her to the core.

Finally, I consider her and my hatred to be over. When I want to write something about her, now what I have done is enough. If someone still doesn't understand, it's not my problem. This collection of posts about ' the queen of innocence' will be on my blog in links.

[thedickgrant]

Yeah you remember how that conversation started? Using your words you were 'shooing me out of the kitchen.' I thought you were joking. I stood at the kitchen door while you told me that's how your mother treated you and I thought you were being tongue in cheek with the shooing part because surely that's not behavior you would model. Kind of thought it was in the context of kidding around or making fun of a terrible habit that you were taught. It was a few minutes before I realized that you weren't telling me that this is the sort of behavior that created bad behavior in you You were telling me that I need to get the hell out of the kitchen. You were shooing me away.

And you seemed exasperated that I didn't understand all this. As it began to sink in I replied that in my experience I wouldn't get shooed out of the kitchen I would get put to work. And I kind of went on to talk about all of the many great cooks that I've learned from in kitchens. Then you said it is better to learn from one cook than a thousand. And I thought about it for just a second. And it didn't seem like that could possibly be something that you were truly saying to me because you had just told me that the cook in your family shoot you out of the kitchen. So what you would have learned from her is how to shoot people out of the kitchen. I thought you were maybe making a little bit of a joke about that because on one hand the phrase sounded like you were in the early discounting everything I just said and on the other hand it sounded like when I have sit around in fun conversations before and pretended to make confucius-like statements out of nonsense words. So I decided to interpret it like that. So in that vein I said. Just because of phrase sounds deep does not mean it is. I didn't imagine that it was going to piss you off but it certainly did. At that point I began to turn off because I didn't really see why he would be so emotionally involved. And really began to feel like if I say anything other than yes to something he says then he can't take it.

Now that I've written all that I certainly see some places I could have done better. Indeed I do need to respond in the affirmative before I counter something. It gets me down when somebody just constantly refutes what I have to say.

And in fact when I look back on the conversation that he got pissed off in earlier perhaps a similar thing happened. I could have taken the time to illustrate the things that we were aligned on before I disagree. I'm not sure that he connected the two conversations we had had. Seem like we spent quite a bit of time talking about me getting triggered by the guitarist person and how he was better at handling that situation. We then talked about him getting pissed off because some dude said excuse me but what he really meant was get out of my way according to Jay. You seemed pretty triggered by me saying that he was triggered by that. And I think my quote would have been something like it's interesting what things trigger us that we get triggered by different things. I definitely said interesting because that's exactly what I meant - shit that looks like a tick IRL - , I found interesting. I certainly wasn't bringing it up to be combative. The way I felt at the time and I guess still feel like is, man Jay can talk for a long time about things that are my triggers or my foibles but he sure doesn't want to explore his. He just really only wants to hear it yes. Feels like it just does not want to be challenged to I don't know how long I listen to him talk about his philosophy of not changing at all right now because he's investing all of his mental energy into his job I guess. Seem like you talked for a long time about how self-exploration is worthless to him. And I'm still contemplating it. At the moment and still to a large degree it sounded like some stuff I've been hearing from a lot of people my age. Sounds like ways of thinking that justify getting stuck in one's ways. That justify not facing the injustices around us. Language that justifies doing nothing in the name of contentedness.

Well it's another day with zero communication from him so that's hurtful. It hurts. I'm not calling or texting him either so that feels pretty awful too. Antipocritical and I'm not sure what to say I certainly feel like he's the one who has been giving me the cold shoulder. With every interaction I have tried to cheerily respond and show my eagerness. That has not been returned.

Yeah conversationally he's really frustrating he refuses to yield any points ever. He's just always right. That is exhausting and unyielding.

You know I saw some clues and I'm only just now kind of seeing what maybe they really meant. I mean he starts most every sentence off with a negative response. I can conversation most every sentence started with an n. In fact at least twice I've watched him use no as a complete sentence. I mean these are conversationally bad practices.

I could imagine a conversation where I get a response that goes on about how I wasn't quite right and that here are the differences and what I said and what is the truth and if I replied to that with something to the effect of why do you have to discount everything I say. His reply would be I don't discount everything you say. Which of course would be discounting what I just. And then if didn't Russell control the conversation back from him he would spend a long time describing the differences between discounting something and not or the everything is an exaggeration.

He's made reference to this flaw. I don't like using that word it's not quite right but I'll use it for now. In his words it is his compulsion to describe things in too much depth. From my perspective it's just his disinterest in what others have to say. If you take a long time making a statement and it doesn't end in a question or a furthering of the conversation that the other person was trying to have well that's conversationally difficult. And I'm gratifying for the other person if they're trying to convey an idea. That is an unwelcome sidetrack that ends in a cul-de-sac.

Well I know I'm not right about any of this it's just the way I feel. I'll continue working to gain some perspective and objectivity hopefully I can find how to do things successfully moving forward. I want that for my relationship with Jay and everyone else. I know I can't be ' too much' for so many people and it not be my fault somehow