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#this doesnt really make sense but im really tired right now
watcherwatts · 1 year
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watching/interacting with unsolved in 2023 (or any year past 2021 really) is like coming home after a long day. the voices of ryan + shane washing over you like a warm hug and the clench of laughter in your chest watching their shenanigans. its like watching the sunset, the odd ping of nostalgia creeping into your heart.
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the-mushroom-faerie · 3 months
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what do writing fic and playing scrabble have in common?
both make you question whether or not you actually Know Words
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bonesrbleaching · 12 days
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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kalmeria · 10 months
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i make posts for an audience of one (me)
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norrizzandpia · 5 months
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okay so you know how oscar sleeps like anywhere, can we have some thing about how they claim they are friends but theres all these photos that lando has (or anyone really) of them two sleeping in the most random places and lando posts them as a joke (sorry if it doesnt make sense!!)
This request is 💋
Sleeping Buddies or Dating? (OP81)
Summary: Oscar and Y/n love to sleep next to each other. They don’t love each other. That’s it.
Warnings: Lando and the other drivers being menaces, language
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y/nnn this is payback for making me think you have pics of me and oscar asleep together
Comments:
landonorris I LITERALLY DO???? YOUVE STARTED A WAR
- oscarpiastri lando….
- Mclarensgirly LEAK THEM LANDO
- ln4op81 plz. my bday is in a few days. that would be the best bday present.
- landonorris happy bday then
landonorris ALSO I LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD IN THIS IDK WHAT TF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING
- y/nnn you actually don’t stop being delulu
- oscarpiastri YOURE SPURRING HIM ON
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landonorris this is for not shutting up 🫶🏻
Comments:
oscarpiastri THIS MANY????? EXIST??????
- landonorris yes.
- danielricciardo yes.
- logansargeant yes.
- alexalbon yes.
- charlesleclerc yes.
- y/nnn oh!
y/nnn were you silent or silenced?
ln4andop81 YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME. AND THEY ARE STILL NOT TOGETHER??????
- mclarensgirly in my heart they are 😥
F1gossip they have to be dating no way you fall asleep like that in the second pic and are just friends
- f1fan2023 idk man they’ve done some questionable things in the past and stayed friends
- papayafan481 TRUEEEE like that one time Oscar said in an interview he spends nights at y/n’s all the time and they “get up to some fun” BROS GOTTA KNOWN WHAT THAT MEANS
- mclarennnnn ALSO when he won his first podium and ran up to her and KISSED HER CHEEK???? THATS THE BIGGEST MYSTERY OF F1 BC HE WAS SO CLOSE TO HER FUCKING LIPS. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME HE DIDNT KISS THE SIDE OF HER MOUTH AND REALIZED HE WAS ON LIVE TV SO GASLIT EVERYONE INTO THINKING HE KISSED HER CHEEK. HE KISSED HER. HE DID.
- f1fan2023 that moment is fs my roman empire. i think abt the logistics of that moment every day
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logansargeant thought I’d hop on the train ;)
Comments:
y/nnn BRO I DIDNT DO SHIT TO YOU
- logansargeant i am SICK AND TIRED of hiding
- mclarensgirly sorry… HIDING WHAT????
- mclarennnnn HE KISSED HER ON LIVE TV.
oscarpiastri you got the audacity from where?
- logansargeant you.
- f1fan81 BYEEEEEE
- mclarensgirly LIGHT HIM UP AMERICAN BOY
- ln4andop81 WTF IS A KILOMETERRRRR??????
mclaren are we sensing a soft launch?
- oscarpiastri ADMIN.
- y/nnn UHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- mclarensgirly WHAT.
- ln4andop81 MY MANIFESTATIONS ARE COMING TRUE OMFG
- f1fan2023 i can die happy now (i am going to live out the rest of my days living for their relationship)
- landonorris oh shit.
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oscarpiastri yes, i did kiss her on live tv and tried to gaslight everyone into thinking i kissed her cheek (it worked on all you bitches don’t lie)
Comments:
F1fan2023 WE WON YALL
mclarennnnn I WAS FUCKING RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS FUCKING RIGHT HOLY SHIT
- oscarpiastri your comments were concerning me ngl
- y/nnn yea he thought you were going to expose us
landonorris this hard launch took way too fucking long omg
- y/nnn shut tf up bitch
mclaren we can die happily now 🥹
- mclarensgirly mclarens just like us fr
- oscarpiastri y/n and i no longer wish you death after you outed us
- mclaren NO LONGER?????? YOU DID AT ONE POINT???????
- y/nnn shhh, admin. “no longer”, that’s what you need to pay attention to
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y/nnn he’s mine now bitches 👹
Comments:
oscarpiastri idk what your obsession is with these two pics
- y/nnn YOURE FUCKING HOT LEAVE ME ALONE
landonorris happy for you ig
- y/nnn I know the heartbreak must be painful
mclaren we would like to take the credit for dressing Oscar in the second pic
- y/nnn you deserve the world for putting him in that jacket.
mclarensgirly im rlly kicking and screaming tho
F1fan2023 i know i said i would die happy bc of this news but suddenly i hate the fact this man is off the market
- landonorris well that sucks bc pastry is sickeningly in love
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chiiyuuvv · 5 months
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can you do xikers reaction to fighting with a girl who was flirting with them around her(if that makes sense lol)
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• PAIRING — bf!xikers x fem!reader (i am sure of it this time XD)
• GENRE — honestly mad xikers, plus some clueless ones
• WORD COUNT — 289
• AUTHOR'S NOTE — ty for requesting!!
• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty
MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!
Minjae was a little annoyed because he was obviously talking to you, so he just puts his arm around your shoulder and forcing a smile. "Sorry."
Junmin was scrolling through his phone, waiting for you to get out of the bathroom when he feels a tap on his shoulder. "Oh sorry, im taken." He would nod at the now frowning girl, before walking over to you when you walk out.
"No, I-" sumin was definitely tired of telling the girl no repeatedly, giving her multiple side eyes before walking out of the building and giving you a text. Ranting about the girl.
"You're really pretty." "Yeah, my girlfriend thinks so too." Jinsik would smile to himself, confused on why the girl was frowning and walking away. "Did i say something wrong..?"
Hyunwoo doesnt really know what to say so he just starts flexing his wallpaper and his phone case, proudly showing off his beautiful girl then apologizing
Junghoon would just ignore the girl, continuing about his day. I dont know what else to say 🤷‍♀️
"Oh, sorry.. i dont really like that fla- BABE YOU GOT ME A DRINK!! WITH MY FAVORITE FLAVOR! OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW?! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!" -seeun
Yujun was close to throwing hands. "But.. im prettier 👉👈" "yeah if we were comparing you to a rock!" Yujun would snort. "I hope!!"
"Oh, you're really handsome. Do you come to this place often?" "Yeah, my girlfriend just loves the food here and oh, shes right there!! She looks so pretty today, doesnt she?" -hunter
The sudden question took yechan off guard, nervously noding his head. "T-thanks..?" Panicks when the girl asks for his number, so he just blurts out 911 and starts running <3
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ganondoodle · 5 months
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still thinking about how even just the decision to basically act like the shiekah tech never existed is just ... so baffling to me
bc again you could have done all the sonau tech does with shiekah instead, and they were perfect to be explored more in a sequel, why wouldnt you grasp that potential, the literal building blocks for more??
if you are that tired of shiekah tech .. dont make it a fuckign sequel to the game prominently featuring it???? totk doesnt take place generations after botw in which things could have changed drastically, its just a few years afterwards??
you want to reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech? ok fine take LINK into the past then and the focus is for you to find a way to return; do some neat twist where its revealed that link was the one who sealed gan bc he couldnt defeat him without zelda or something if you dare (they wouldnt)
want less work than that and still reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech AND reuse characters? ok then make it some alternate universe thingy like majoras mask in which everythign is the same but also isnt, its weird and creepy how characters you thoguht you knew suddendly dont act like themselves, shiekah tech doesnt exist, malice is now miasma, etc, it would give reason to why you feel so much like something about this world is familiar yet also very wrong
as far as im aware every "sequel" we have had so far were either generations apart from the first one, some alternate universe or a different location altogether- in all of which its plausible that things are different, things seem weirdly familiar but also wrong, or that another continent just works different from hyrule
but totk does none of that, its supposedly just a few years after the first game, same world same character, but its BUILT like some strange jumbled mess of stuff from botw and new stuff out of nowhere that just .. doesnt fit, but feeling a strange sense of otherness, a déja vu of something you know but it acts off, like an imposter, thats NOT intentional and it shows, its a mess of botw stuff, from stuff that people missed from the old games and entirely new stuff; i dont doubt it CAN work but the way it turned out is like a mix of 3 different puzzles forced together and being told 'see it fits!' even tho you can clearly see the pieces dont look right in these places
again it feels like a sequel that desperately wants you to forget the first game happened, that anythign from it mattered at all
and that isnt really ... the sense of a sequel? why insist on it being one when it only creates problems? is it marketing?? just like it was marketing to call age of calamity a telling of what happened before botw but then it wasnt that at all and that is still the sole reason why i dislike it? bc i was lied to? totk is like 10000 times worse than that, its a main title and doesnt even have the excuse of yeah its basically an excuse to play all your fav characters in fun ways and the game beign well aware that being its main appeal; what is totk appeal? a toybox with botw aestethic and none of the flavor?
(on a sidenote; the sonau tech doesnt even .. matter? in botw at least calamity ganon was made of shiekah tech parts and him overtaking other tech is a big point, the sonau tech doesnt serve anything but .. idk minerus useless mech? gan doesnt even aknowledge it, he doesnt care, all it is is toys for the player, not link, but the player. the monsters mining the tech materials? what for? gan doesnt give a damn and they dont work for the yiga either??)
i said it before but it gives me the feeling that the way botw invited you to theorize, to look beneath the surface, the way it intrigued you and laid the groundwork for so many interesting things without denying anything.. was accidental? or perhaps put in the game without the directors noticing? i cant stop thinking about them saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk
zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason
maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!
and even though they go so much out of their way to put the cart back onto the rails of black and white-good and evil in an even flatter way than the old games, it still doesnt feel right, at least to me, it still feels like zelda shouldnt have gone along with all of that, it feels like even her character from botw was walked back entirely, except for the intro, it made her feel like a stranger to me-
because this is a sequel, i know this zelda, she wouldnt act like that after all that shes been through, this feels ... off
and it all just insulting to anyone who cared about botw more than surface level, or the zelda lore in general, i dont even care much about the timeline, but theres alot of lore and themes beyond it that felt ignored, especially so given that .. its a damn sequel, non AU, not generations apart, directly part 2-
but its not.
it even feels very "corporate", put zelda in a dress again, people liked that, put crazy abilities in the game to flashbang people with how insane it is even if its not the best for the gameplay or the story, put a new asthetic into it out of nowhere bc its 'new' and act like its been there the whole time, put gan in there bc people miss him and find him sexy even if his role is just as flat as that of an evil cloud monster-
*sigh*
you know, i saw a post that said aoc was like a bad fanfic (affectionate) and totk was like a bad fanfic (derogatory) and tbh thats like one of the best comparisons/summaries i have seen ..
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ugly-pickle · 4 months
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wait!- ☆ scara
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CHARACTERS: idol!scara x gn!reader
SYNOPSIS: scara had always promised you that he will always love you and will always have time for you, but he never confirmed that hes a man of his word…
GENRE: angst 🦢 (comfort from another at the end)
W/C: 1.3k
C/W: cheating, moaning, hinting of intoxication, kissing, toxicity, and cussing (if theres anything that i missed let me know!)
A/N: a lot of people liked my previous post so it motivated me to make another! im still new at this so please keep that in mind if a few bits are off (IT’S REALLY REALLY REALLY CRINGY). most grammatical errors are also intentional!
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your boyfriend, scara, has a performance today and youre really excited. you received flowers, theyre beautiful. maybe this is an apology for the lack of affection and being more grumpy towards you lately, i mean to be an idol certainly is tiring, isnt it? so it makes perfect sense why he’s acting like this… right?
as always, he gave you tickets to his concert. you couldnt get the chance to say goodbye to him because he left so early in the morning, so youll make it up to him when you meet him backstage.
you got dressed and headed out the door, youre excited to see your beloved scara preform, because he looked happy while doing his job, you were excited to see his smile because… well, he doesnt smile at you anymore… but you quickly brush it off, i mean, being an idol is very stressful.
youve arrived, you tried to enter backstage but some bodyguard stopped you, “hey! what do you think youre doing missy?” you sigh, he must be new, “scara is my lover, i just want to see him,” you try to explain but the bodyguard cuts you off and says “thats what they all say,” he rolls his eyes. “no! really, i am!” you show the bodyguard a picture of you and scara together kissing, “oh” the bodyguard grunts, “so youll let me in?” you look up at him, he looks a bit uncomfortable, “well uhm… ive been given specific orders to not let you in… im sorry,”
“w-what?...”
you heard him loud and clear, the world around you begins to spin, but you quickly ground yourself by comforting yourself with false hopes. maybe hes just planning a surprise for you back there, i mean, it might explain why you got flowers, yea! that must be the reason… you hope.
you found your spot, perfect timing too! the concert begins, you see scara. you melt when you see a smile on his lips, he looks so happy. the crowd screams, theyre chanting 5wirl (the name of their group). venti, xiao, kazuha, heizou, and scara is greeting the audience with warms smiles and kind words.
after a while, the performance ends, it was quite long actually, but it felt so short, time does fly when youre having fun. you head to the backstage doors, hoping that the bodyguard lets you in this time. as you make your way to the backstage doors you see scara’s back in your peripheral vision. hes in a secluded place, he looks like hes trying to be hidden from the crowd, makes sense. you decide to scare him, as you get closer you can see a beautiful lady’s lips pressed against scara’s. you hear the sounds of kissing and soft moaning coming from them.
your heart shatters into a million pieces, it broke so bad that you swore you heard it make a shattering sound. tears fall down your face, youre so stunned that you cant even form words, instead, a pathetic whimpering sound escapes your lips. scara turns around to see where the strange sound is coming from.
his eyes widen a bit, but he immediately regains his composure. “stop crying like a baby and get over it, youre just a nuisance in my life,” now scara was just stomping all over your already broken heart. these simple actions somehow drained all of your energy, just standing was exhausting, not wanting to waste time or energy you give him an “ok,” and you turn around and leave.
you arrive at your shared apartment and decide to eat and rest for a little, so when he comes back you can properly confront him. but, he comes back the next day, hes wasted and the smell of sex is clinging onto him. he walks past you and immediately collapses on the couch and knocks out cold.
when he finally wakes up, youre making dinner. he remembers the encounter from last night. his eyes wander, wanting to look at anything but you. something in the trashcan catches his eye, the flowers. theyre pretty but it didnt come from him.
youve finished cooking, you see scara sitting at the table. you sit down, and placed your meal in front of you and you start to eat. “…what about mine?” scara asks you with a quiet voice. “oh wow, youre initiating a conversation with the nuisance. well, if you must know, that having to take care of you is quite tiring and ive realized that youre quite troublesome and it would be better if you werent in my life. so, kunikuzushi, im breaking up with you.”
hes taken aback when you use his birth name, “h-hey y/n, i didnt mean what i said yesterday… i regret it, it was just the heat of the moment,” he says, his voice trembling a bit. you sigh, “that still doesnt change the fact that you cheated on me, pack your bags and leave, this is my apartment after all,”
his trembling demeanour quickly turned aggressive, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH LOVE AND TIME IVE SPENT ON YOU?” you scoff, “WHAT LOVE? WHAT TIME? SURE, YOUVE PROMISED ME THESE THINGS BUT HAVE YOU EVER FULFILLED IT? EVER SINCE YOU BECAME AN IDOL, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU CHANGED,”
the two of you are now yelling. “WELL, BEING AN IDOL IS TIRING, AND BEING BOUND TO ONLY YOU IS TIRING. ANEMO RESEMBLES FREEDOM, I CANT JUST BE BOUND TO YOU. A-AND SHE LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM” youre hurt, you stop yelling, “she loves you for who you are today, but will she when you have nothing?” “NO ONE LOVED ME WHEN I HAD NOTHING, WHEN I WAS NOTHING-“ “I FUCKING DID”
your voice begins to break, “i loved you when you had nothing, i was the one who helped you get back on your feet,” you sigh, hot tears now spilling down your face, “im gonna take a walk, and when i come back your things better be packed.” you leave the apartment, “you didnt even get to enjoy your meal,” he mumbles to himself. he begins to pack his things.
youre walking towards the park, youre tears making your cheeks glisten in the sunlight. you spot kazuha admiring the scenery, hes sitting down on a bench with a pen and notebook in hand, you assume he was making song lyrics or a haiku. you walk up to kazuha and wipe away your tears, “u-uhm hey kazu,” you sit down beside him. “oh hey y/n! nice seeing you here!” his voice is warm and comforting.
“im surprised that you arent swarmed by paparazzi yet,” you giggle, “me too, the quiet is very relaxing. my day has become better now that youre here. wheres scara?” you can feel your eyes watering up “we broke up… he cheated on me,” kazuha hugs you, patting your back, tears are now falling down your face. “you dont deserve that, you really dont, youre one of the most amazing people that i know.”
tip tap tip tap tip tap
you hear the sound of footsteps running, it’s probably someone jogging. kazuha tucks your hair behind your ear while looking you in the eyes.
“WAIT!-“
kazuha presses a gentle kiss on your forehead. you turn your head to see who had just called out, it was scara, he was standing there in shock, tears slipping down his face. “YOU BITCH KAZUHA,” scara yells at him. the bouquet of flowers you threw out earlier was now in his hands. “YOU LIKE Y/N, DONT YOU? YOU HAVE HER THESE FLOWERS, RIGHT?” scara scoffs, “and what if i do? theres no harm in having a crush, unlike cheating on your lover. and, i did give those flowers to her, so what?”
scara turns to you “b-baby you still love me right? a-and not this bastard, right?” his voice seems desperate, “kunikuzushi i-”
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A/N: UHMM I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA HOW TO END THIS- I AT LEAST TRIED LOL ┐༼ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°༽┌
(ngl i wanna make a part 2 because the ending was so messy ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º· )
TAGLIST @justaxiaosimp @mommykukki @xdrin @midnight-pluto @boomie-123 @scaramochies @dnsuhwr874y @hopefulceladon @yukinenikora @akusiapaakudimana @mai-yay @uhfhfhfhf
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tyunkus · 6 months
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haiiii kumi :3 its been awhile but i saw ur post ab tyun w a daddy/sir kink n lemme js share my thoughts ! ^_^ (i sincerely apologize if this doesn't make sense im vvv tired rn n i should be sleep LOL)
taehyun would loooove to be called sir even in your guys daily life! like if he were to ask you to do a simple task for him and you said "yes sir" he would definitely pop a boner right then n there.. like its just something that makes him feel a bit more empowered yk? js adds to his big ass ego 🤭 n when you're giving him head n he praises u, "oh god, fuck yn you're doing so good," "i am? am i really doing good sir?" like hes so whipped for everything you do but this just adds to his obsession with you.
just makes him thrust harder into your mouth, letting out such sweet noises just for you to hear :( keeps telling you how pretty you look when tears are running down your face and your lips are glossy from his cum...
when he finally cums down your throat, he reaches down to give you a kiss, some of his cum still smeared on your lips, but he doesnt care because thats just him showing you how good you make him feel :3
hmm i think the sir kink could also work with ceo &/or professor tyun?
maybe he calls you to his office to discuss some paperwork thats due soon and has you work him through it— but not because he doesnt understand, no no no, everyone knew mr kang was a very smart man— he just liked the way his name rolled of your tongue, and how you look up at him with such beaming eyes 🥹 "do you understand it now sir?" "hmm, maybe you could explain this part one more time?" sisgsigeieeg he loves to hear you talk to him in such a proper way while thinking of how he could destroy you (if you let him, which we all know you would ☝️)
or maybe you're just asking him for help on something in his class! (i love dumbification w tyun so...) which somehow ended up with you sitting in his lap with your back against his chest, papers all sprawled out on the desk in front of you and his fingers rubbing your clit in small and slow circular motions, while he asks you for the nth time, "yn, cmon baby, solve it for me. then ill let you cum okay?" "dumb little girl, cant even pay attention in my class because shes too busy fantasizing about how good id fuck her huh? thats why you needed help?"
IDK HOW ELSE TO ELABORATE W THIS SO DO WHAT U WILL WITH IT!!! luv u kumiii (∩_∩)
- 🌟
star anon im so sorry i wish i knew what to add to this BUT I DONT ITS ALREADY SO PERFECT. like taehyun would love being called sir/daddy so much + TAEHYUN BEING STERN + PRAISE + HUMILIATION + DUMBIFICATION AHHUEHRJRJ
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spectrum-core · 1 month
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STEPHCLAIR IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD
Alternative title: a very angry (and tired) Full Stop fan's thesis.
ok, so me being the stephan/sinclair comparison's strongest hater is a bit i really like to lean into, but for the sake of keeping things semi-serious i will try to keep the actual essay content as free of me ranting my frustrations as humanly possible (which i mean commitement to the bit aside this will be hard bc it is frustrating to see people calling them both the same character, at best it shows a very surface level understanding of either character and at worst it shows just reducing them to cookie cutter meme fandom archetypes neither character actually fits into, so bear with me if i slip up and make unserious comments from time to time)
so before i start the actual essay let me say this: this essay doesnt even scratch the surface of how much i hate this comparison you guys cant even possibly fucking imagine ive been obssessed and i mean OBSSESSED with the full stop office since 2021 and im glad i wasnt in the limbus prerelease fanbase because if i had to see people comparing my beautiful boy and beloved best friend to a guy we had no info about other than "hes based of the guy from demian" i would have turned into the joker this is not even about saving my own mental health this is about sparing the entire pjm fandom of the monster i would have turned into
spoilers for ruina and limbus, universe terminology heavy and surface level references and interpretations of demian by herman hesse because imma keep it real with you guys the first and only time i read that book i was still in high school and i barely remember shit.
Table of contents:
Stephan - a summary
Sinclair - a summary 2.1. Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919) 2.2. Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)
Addressing common arguments
1.- Stephan - a summary
And of course I will start with Stephan, because I love him very much, just like Liwei he's one of my favorite pjm characters (yeah i like him more than your favorite popular character don't ask) so it's not surprising that i have A Lot to say about him, right?
And of course, I do.
As I said in the serrated duo post, a core part of my perception of the Full Stop office depends on the fact that they are poor. Mentions of money are common all across many factions in the game, yes, but the Full Stops are extremely constant about money, how taking a wrong turn means losing more than they can afford, how they can't afford to drop their weapons because they were too expensive, how even getting the permissions to be able to buy and wield these weapons was ridiculously expensive and so on. Of course, Stephan is the one talking about this the most (something I will elaborate on later), but Liwei and Tamaki also make a few ocassional mentions to it in their dialogue and keypages and considering this is a shared business it just makes sense that this is something that affects all of them.
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These are just some few of the callbacks to money that Stephan alone does in his dialogue, without focusing in keypage text or what Liwei and Tamaki have to say about it.
And idk man, at least to me the difference between social classes is an important aspect for their characterization, specially because of how constant the concern with money is for Stephan. From this point alone comparing them feels like erasing a core aspect of Stephan's characterization, a lot about Stephan (and the Full Stop office as a whole, let's be real here) starts making more sense once you read the office as lower-middle class (and I'm saying lower middle class because they can afford some place to live and their weapons, but to me these guys are the types who precisely because of their need to keep bullets at all times can't pay for water or electricity all the time and sometimes they simply can't afford food or if they do they can spend a week straight eating nothing but unsalted pasta).
Now, going back to Stephan being the most outward about his complaints with money, he is in general the most outward about all problems the office is facing, to the point in which he doesn't mind inconveniencing everyone else with his rants, being one of the few guests who interrupt Angela's introductory speech and getting into Tamaki's nerves (something he's well aware he's doing, as these two know each other) at least two times through the course of their pre-battle cutscene, even Roland comments after the reception on how he wishes he would always have been as open about his problems as Stephan was.
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However, it's worth nothing that he doesn't spend the entire cutscene crying about his miseries, and he only starts losing hope at three key moments: when they can't kill Eileen inmediately (making them waste more bullets than needed), when Argalia shows up (forcing them to retreat and making them fail their mission, meaning they won't get paid for this after they already lost a ton of money, as well as turning the situation into something much more dangerous than what they had signed up for) and once they enter the Library (an Urban Plague grade threat they have little to no information about, when him and Tamaki are almost out of bullets so Liwei is essentially the only fixer with some chance of putting up a fight and, you know, making it out alive).
Now, while it's true that Stephan is someone who dislikes danger, he isn't someone who isn't used to seeing gruesome events, his instinctive reaction to seeing a guy getting his head put into a meat grinder was cracking jokes and calling the concept of thought gears "a load of horseshit", which is something that falls in line with him being a somewhat experienced Fixer (sure, grade 5 isn't amazing but we can assume it's still either in the higher side of average or barely above average, and for someone specialized in firearms, which are far from the best weapon in the city, getting that high means he must have some experience and skill, right? more so considering he's been at this for 5 years at most) who has seen a fair share of horrid shit and can be unfazed by (most of) it as long as his own safety isn't on the line.
Another point is... he dislikes danger and is always wary about money and expenses, to the point in which he enjoys checking his bank account (or at least he believes so, if we go for the theory of the artbook profiles being more a mix of what the characters perceive themseves as/would describe themselves as to others, which is a theory i go by, I see him as someone who's convinced he does that for fun instead as out of desperation), but this seems to be more a generalized feeling of impending doom at everything rather than something that can be traced back to a particular traumatic event (anything can be dangerous, anything can cost him money), dude's from the backstreets after all, he's seen shit and he's used to assuming the worst. How I see Stephan, he's a guy who already expects bad things to happen but once things go wrong he starts freaking out about how this time They're Screwed For Real, but he never really tricks himself into believing "maybe things will turn out just fine this time?" or who thinks "well, we've done this before, surely we can handle it again."
This is not very related to Stephan as a character in terms of personality but I think it's still an important point to make as it is particularly related to body mods, his physical condition and his body shape.
So we can easily say that Stephan is a strong dude, at least if compared to real world standards without the fancy and insane body mods we see people in the city have access to. He carries that huge rifle around with his bare hands, something that Tamaki doesn't do and that not even Stephan himself in earlier iterations of his dessign did, and his main talent (which based of my theories is something that can be assumed as "something he's proud enough of to consider it the thing he does best") is physical labor.
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Pictured, Tamaki's talksprite, carrying a rifle almost as long as she is tall with a strap supporting the weight on her shoulders, like a normal person.
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Also pictured, an earlier iteration of Stephan's dessign, carrying the same rifle his current version does, but also holding it with the help of a similar strap supporting the weight on his shoulders.
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And finally, Stephan's current dessign, holding that shit with his bare fucking hands in an exhibition of his brute animal strength, what the fuck is wrong with this man (affectionate)
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And Stephan's artbook profile, the important part here is his speciality being physical labor, not only he's strong but he aknowledges this.
However, I made a point about the Full Stop office being poor, right? Even Roland says that "giving a whole office augmentation procedures is cheaper than keeping a decent supply of bullets in stock" (not the exact phrasing).
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At least personally, I see this as Roland essentially saying "it would be cheaper (and more efficient) to get body mods for everyone in the office and buy another (cheaper) type of weaponry instead", but as things stand, the Full Stops can afford to either buy more ammunition and maintain their weapons, OR to get body mods, and since their whole deal is firearms... well, they can't really Stop investing in them, meaning they have no body mods At All and they got their grades purely out of their own physical strength.
Similarly, Stephan makes a similar point about how body augmentations are required for people to be able to run while carrying their weapons around (specifically talking about the rifles he and Tamaki use).
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And... you know, the whole point is that they couldn't run carrying their weapons because they were too heavy, Argalia mocked them for that, Liwei urged them to drop their weapons, something they refused to do because of the prices.
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Lastly on this point, while it's true that Ruina talksprites have a very bad case of Long Anime Legs (to the point in which how Roland's legs take about 2/3 of his height is a common joke), if we focus only on his head and torso, Stephan looks pretty Wide, and not only because he's wearing thick, fluffy and multilayered clothing, as other characters wearing similar clothing styles still look thinner than him.
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This is all to say: I don't think this guy is a twink, or thin at all. He's a prime example of the strongman build to me and this is yet another hill I'm willing to die on watch project moon turn him into a beanpole once he inevitably shows up in limbus and me turning into the first real world distortion as a consequence.
Finally, Stephan is very notoriously the most informal member of the office, not only being the only one who doesn't wear any sort of formal clothing fully prioritizing comfort and practicality over looks but also completely disregarding formalities with his attitude at work (again, he interrupts Angela's introductory monologue, and again, his first two lines when being introduced are him cracking jokes), being the only member of the office to swear on screen and using several informal expressions and metaphors through both the reception dialogue and his keypage story.
And for good measure, he's a compilation of Stephan being the creature he is.
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The literal introduction of the characters, also known as the moment in which Stephan became one of my favorite characters because he's Just Like Me Fr
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Very normal behavior for someone who hates blood and violence and isn't used to seeing it. This man is more than capable (and willing, assuming money is involved) to murder kill.
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Which, I mean, this attitude is very different from what we see from Sinclair.
2.- Sinclair, a summary
In retrospect I probably should have made this one first because I'm gonna be honest with you, Sinclair is one of the sinners I care about the least (I still like him and think he's pretty cool mind you I just don't vibe too much with most of the tropes making up the character) so what I have to say about him is less me grasping for straws and subtext because I don't care enough about him to be bothered with a super serious and in depth analysis like I did with Stephan and more things we can explicitly see about him in game and things that happen in the novel Demian.
And if I can have a small parenthesis here, people saying that one of my favorite pjm guys Ever is in any way similar to a guy who despite being pretty cool is just Not the type of character I fully vibe with... really, it gets annoying fast. Anyway back to the serious analysis now.
2.1- Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919)
To be able to understand Sinclair as he is depicted in Limbus Company, it is important to first be familiar with the source material of the original iteration of the character, that's it we're doing your high school homework by compiling several literary analysis of a symbolic psychological early 20th century autobiographical novel i hope you guys signed up for this (and if you didn't, though luck! i will do this anyway, I love literary analysis).
In the novel, young Emil finds himself torn between the worlds of light (which can be equated to the Garden of Eden, but it's more tangible meaning for our protagonist is his childhood home and family, a serene and well structure/organized space where he can be innocent, untainted by the evils of the outside world) and darkness (basically all the scary shit that goes on outside, where people do evil things for the sake of it), he finds himself tempted by the violence of the outside world, particularly through the actions of his classmate Franz Kromer, which eventually leads him to consider that due to being exposed to this tainted world of evil he no longer can return to the world of good and innocence.
Here, the character of Demian acts as a guide, someone who helps Sinclair to trascend this binary perception of good vs evil and to see himself as someone worthy of happiness because him witnessing the world of evil didn't taint him as a person but rather merely showed him another face of the world, Demian here mentions the Mark of Cain as a symbol of mental strenght and freedom, considering that bearers of this mark are capable of making their own choices and should be able to go beyond their assigned roles, being able to embody aspects of both worlds. This is to say that Demian's view is less focused on good vs evil, instead taking a more order vs chaos approach (without giving an explicit moral character to either).
In the book, the symbol of a bird breaking out of the egg is frequently used to represent Emil's personal growth, the egg represents safety and innocence, but a bird must eventually leave the egg or it will die, and getting out of the egg is a process than can be seen as violent, as a bird must fight to get out of the egg, and getting out of the egg represents birth but also an irreversible change, it can be seen as breaking out of the world of light and getting permanently in the world of darkness since a broken shell can't be fixed, but it can also mean achieving the enlightment and personal balance to not feel permanently bound to a condition, place or state of being and therefore growing as a person by learning to see himself as a whole human instead of supressing his "evil side" by only forcing the "good side" to surface.
Max Demian is here to show this second meaning of growth/self improvement (while also explaining that Sinclair is permamently growing and must always keep this balance between all the parts conforming the whole being that is himself rather that trying to make parts of himself antagonize each other). This idea of personal growth being one of the core themes of the book.
2.2- Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)
With Sinclair's source media analyzed (at a very surface level, mind you), we now can start talking about the depiction of Sinclair in Limbus Company, how it parallels the book, why the book symbolism is important for this instance of Sinclair and so on.
When we are first introduced to Sinclair in the game he's clearly nervous, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do as he hasn't worked for a similar company before and he isn't used to the gruesome sight of the bus eating people, this does fit inmediately in the motif of a naive person with limited experience about the world (well, to be fair to him most people won't be seeing man-eating buses at a regular basis, but the average backstreets dweller would be familiar with equally violent situations).
With this said, despite Sinclair's obviously nervous behavior... he isn't really a pessimist like Stephan was, in fact, almost every chapter (counting cantos, intervallos and the short mini chapters such as the Dante's notes update episode) have at least one key moment with him trying to rationalize horrible stuff as something much less violent, or simply going "but I thought this thing didn't work like this..." when confronted with the more horrible realities in the city. He thought the G corp veterans were really going to let them pass without a fight, he thought the people being controlled by headhens were just actors wearing mascot costumes, he thought mermaids were the beautiful half-woman half-fish creatures he heard about in fairy tales, and there's more examples but I don't really feel like looking for The Entire Fucking Plot Because This Guy Is An Actual Protagonist Instead Of A Background Guy Like Stephan Was to make my point clearer than it already is. And it's only when he realizes that the real world doesn't fit his expectations that he panics.
Well, there is one exception to this pattern: his own canto. Here, he panics inmediately as soon as K corp's nest is mentioned and spends the first half of the chapter pleading to turn back while saying that they are going to get killed. So what is different here with the rest of the plot?
Obviously, the fact that is related to his very own very personal very specific trauma. That is to say, unlike Stephan who is wary of anything that can put him on danger or cost him more money than it should, Sinclair has a very specific traumatic event that makes him act Like That (sure, he gets scared and nervous outside that, but these are more normal "I'm unfamiliar with this and I don't fully know how to react, this is normal behavior in a human being" reactions than outright "I am Actually Terrified due to being reminded of an actual traumatic event, this reaction is a textbook definition of post-traumatic stress disorder").
HOWEVER, Sinclair being someone who's deeply traumatized and kind of a scaredy cat when it comes to violence and unfamiliar situations... it doesn't mean that he's incompetent or a bad fighter. Almost all of his identities are terrifyingly good fighters (at least in their lore), Los Mariachis fear jefe Sinclair, Cinq director Sinclair is someone most association members are terrified to duel even during training, Blade Lineage Sinclair is considered a talented killer (it's also worth noting that save maybe for the mariachi one, in none of these mirror worlds Sinclair is precisely happy of being recognized as "the guy who's very scary when he fights people", unlike Stephan who I don't think he particularly likes killing but has a more "as long as I get paid..." mentality about it), the only "not very good at this" Sinclair id I can think of is the molar boatworks id where he's more a mechanic than a fighter so he fears he's lagging behind in that aspect. Hell, even the Canon Timeline so to speak (which is to say: his base identity) has him carrying that huge halberd, going on a frenzy attacking some already mutilated inquisitor's corpse, piercing through Guido's armor and dealing a fatal blow that finally killed him for real. To compare, Stephan is good at physical work, but we don't know about his close combat capacities other than the fact that he dislikes it, for Sinclair however we know he's terrifyingly good at physical combat.
Now, I've seen a lot of people call Sinclair a twink and while it's one of these words that nobody agrees on what it means, let's give it the benefit of doubt and say "alright, for the duration of this analysis let's settle on a twink being a young looking (regardless of actual age), thin man with almost no facial/body hair".
Since Sinclair is a rich guy (not just Any Rich Guy though, we're talking of someone whose family had ties to a Wing, probably not some elite guy like Daniel or Hong Lu, but not a self perceived "mediocre" nest dweller like Samjo either), and pressumably not very experienced in combat in most mirror worlds (we know he has no prior experience in the base one where he joined Limbus, at least), let's say that he has enough body mods for him to be much stronger than he looks like despite being thin, he does look thin and young and much to my dissapointment he also has no facial hair, so yeah, under this very broad definition of the term he is a twink.
However if you start adding personality archetypes to the definition he stops being one almost inmediately, as we've been shown time after time that his "submissive" attitude is mostly a result of him not knowing too well how to impose himself and just going along with what the rest say or do, but he's starting to grow tired of that ever since Hell's Chicken (even if he clearly still isn't great at that), as it should be more than obvious for anyone who even just googled "demian herman hesse literary analysis", Sinclair is undergoing a lot of changes even now, and the game is doing a good job at portraying that.
Honestly I also think he'd be hotter with a sleeper build but really, I don't care enough about him to argue about that.
And for the last point, precisely due to his upbringing as a rich guy AND his traumatic experience with Kromer, Sinclair is not only a very polite and mild mannered guy (again, unlike resident creature Stephan), but also he tries to take as little space as possible, both literally and metaphorically, as Dante notices near the end of canto 3 when they finally comment on how Sinclair never talks about his own problems until it's too late because he doesn't want to bother the others as they probably have it worse (again, unlike Stephan "i don't mind loweing team morale and making everyone in the room uncomfortable as long as i get to vent" Full Stop office).
3.- Adressing common arguments
Alright, now that I talked about each character, let's see some of the most common arguments I've seen people use to compare them.
"They look the same!" No, they don't. The only thing they have in common is being blonde but even their hairstyles are different with Sinclair having a simple bowl-ish cut with slightly wavy hair and Stephan having curlier hair (not to mention the whole point I made about body types because I'm the sort of lunatic who cares about that stuff). I won't even bother with this argument.
"They have the same personalities!" Again, they don't. Stephan is very cynical with a lot of his attitude being clearly derivated from him coming from a poor background and having stayed there his whole life, he also doesn't care about his cynism getting in the way and bothering everyone else. On the other hand, Sinclair is someone who could almost be described as naive due to having lived a sheltered childhood and only having his experiences with Kromer and his time at Limbus as moments of realizing that the rest of the world is Not Like His Childhood House, still believing that the world is a binary of good vs evil and expecting things to turn out fine or be much better than they actually are, just to be hit with the reality of the city Not being a nice place where people are nice and polite and not trying to kill him, this is not to say he doesn't have his own issues but even Dante notices during his Canto that Sinclair makes a point to avoid bothering everyone else with his personal problems, keeping them to himself even if that makes things worse on the long run.
"Both are opposed and harmed by a lunatic!" This is an argument I've seen a lot and is incredibly filmsy at best, half of the city's population are lunatics and the other half are people who got opposed by them some way or another. Will you say that Ishmael and the rest of the Pequod crew can be compared to the Full Stop office (or really, even mention the other Full Stop fixers instead of just focusing on Stephan because he happens to be blonde and can be compared to Sinclair) because of their situations with Ahab? Or the W Corp crew who got their train targetted by Jae-heon and Elena (or, you know, the train passengers who were turned into Love townspeople or puppets)? What about the Vermillion Cross who got killed by the Reverb Ensemble? Or the Cane office fixers? or the Zwei association section 6 who got beaten to death by Gyeong-mi just because he felt like doing so? Or the Liu association section 1 who had to deal with Argalia taking Philip away? Or the Kurokumo clan members when they were attacked by Tanya? You aren't comparing them to either Stephan or Sinclair, right? Not to mention that in her weird and fucked up perception of things, Kromer was less opposed to Sinclair as she was trying to lead him to join her and her cause, even the last things she says before getting killed are her calling him to follow her.
"Both are compared to birds!" Oh, right, because I forgot that a very directed symbolic comparison to a baby bird breaking out of it's shell as a symbol of rebirth, learning about the nuances of the world and self improvement/liberation that is consistently used in the source material Sinclair comes from is exactly the same as one (1) throwaway line the big bad guy uses to mock not only Stephan but the whole Full Stop gang, right. And if you want to say "but Tamaki compares him to a bird once too", yeah she calls him a parrot because he keeps repeating the same complaints over and over, it's still not the same as a consistent metaphor.
"Both are sad blonde twinks! They're essentially the same guy." Sad? Yeah, everyone in the city is sad but their ways to be sad are polar opposites, and neither of them is the pure cinnamon roll uwu crybaby archetype people tend to lump both into, Stephan was merely having a bad day and people decided to make that his whole personality (when honestly we get more insight on his actual personality before Argalia shows up, when he's making sarcastic remarks and getting impatient because they weren't starting killing people fast enough) but he's still perfectly capable (and willing) to murder people, and Sinclair is just... someone who lacks experience about the real world and how it works and has a tendency to get nervous because of this, but he can adapt quickly to situations once he understands them. Blonde? Yeah, but I guess if that's a point to draw a comparison then we should also compare them to Don Quixote, the Tiphereths, Lenny, Yun, Lulu, Olga, every single npc, librarian, and agent who comes with blonde hair from the generator... Twinks? Stephan absolutely isn't one, Sinclair depends on how you define twink as nobody seems to get to an agreement with that, if you define it as merely "young looking thin man with almost no visible body hair" then yeah he is one, but if you go for any more specific definition than that he stops fitting into the definition almost instantly.
In conclusion: if I see anyone else comparing them I'll start blocking people liberally bc I'm sick of seeing that shit (I do that already tbh but just so you know), now scram
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julibeeline · 2 years
Text
I love you, just you ⛄️🌪 [karl jacobs]
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[karl jacobs x reader]
“your boyfriend seems to be too preoccupied with tina to even acknowledge you”
warnings: angst
masterlist
​​getting singled out; an expression of being excluded, isolated and neglected. something that had never crossed your mind until this very second.
“that just reminded me of that one time-“ karl’s giggle-laugh droned out in your ear as you heard him and tina making another inside joke for the 5th time in the past half hour. originally you had thought this stream was a fun idea, your boyfriend had wanted you to meet one of his close friends, in real life, in a stream, just the three of you.
it was at first, until it became unbearably pathetic for you to be stuck in a room with this atmosphere that anyone could tell was uncomfortable. just for you, though, not them.
you couldn't figure out where it went all wrong, the supposedly innocent ‘you laugh you lose’ stream really took a 180, as you now sat there awkwardly looking around the room until the next media share popped up. next to you sat karl and tina, poking one another, trying to make each other laugh; “a part of the challenge” he says.
your legs shook underneath the shared desk as you looked through chat, trying to thank the donations that the other two seemed to miss, of course they did, being too stuck up each other’s asses. subtle tears seemed to slightly blur your vision as you read what the viewers sent in chat. it only made you feel worse.
tf is karl doing?
i feel so bad?? what the fuck is going on?
someone tell those two to stfu
i thought karl was y/n’s boyfriend? not tina’s?
lmfaoo why’s tina trying so hard to get karls attention 💀
you got up from your chair, making an excuse to go to the bathroom. karl didnt even seem to notice anyways. when you entered the bathroom, you pulled out your phone and started to text you and karl’s shared best friend, quackity. ha, seems like he beat you to it.
alex
hey you okay? whats going on in karl’s stream?
you
i dont know
i wanna get out of here
alex
why are they such assholes?
they shouldnt be leaving you out like that.
especially karl
he was right, you didn't deserve this. god you wanted to break up with karl right there and then. but you didn't. instead, you returned back to the stream and patiently waited for it to come to an end. damn they were really having the time of their lives.
bro its been going on for the past hour 😐
karl doesnt even deserve y/n tbh
my respect for karl and tina 📉📉
as the stream slowly ended and tina left the house after saying her goodbyes, it became an uncomfortable silence between you and karl. the lively atmosphere stopped too abruptly, it seemed that karl had finally sensed something was wrong.
“hey baby, you okay? im sorry the stream was a bit long-“
“i think im gonna go to bed. im kinda tired” you mutter, going past him to his bed.
“o-oh okay, uhm have a good night-“
you close the door.
karl stood there behind the door that you had just closed, wide eyed. he slowly walked back to his monitor, perhaps you weren’t feeling too well? 
he had planned to edit the stream he had just done, thinking it went pretty well. as he opened up the vod from twitch, he got an uneasy feeling in his stomach. 13 unread messages from quackity on discord?
quackity
karl wtf?
its getting kinda annoying for y/n right now man
KARL
KARL
STOP
this is bullshit
what are you even doing?
karl
youre leaving y/n out
so is tina
dude
hey asshole?
read your texts
karl’s eyes widened as he read through the texts, guilt bubbling up in his stomach. he furrowed his eyebrows as the vod played on his second monitor, shifting his attention to it.
“KARL STOP YOURE GONNA MAKE ME LAUGH STOP POKING ME” tina’s voice played from the video. the back of his throat felt tight, panic starting to rise in him.
he continued watching the vod, occasionally skipping to other parts of it when the shame got too much to handle. the visible dismay on your face only helped it grow.
what was he even doing?
as he replayed the chat, his eyes glossed over.
hesitantly getting up from his seat, and taking off his headphones, karl walked over to his bedroom door.
he thought to himself before he opened the door. what should he say? how does he start? was it too late already?
the sight when he opened the door, somehow managed to crack his heart in the slightest.
you were on one side of the bed, far away towards the wall. where he usually slept with you was now empty, his spot on the bed seemed way too accessible now.
the guilt and regret slowly washed over him as he got in, wrapping one arm around your waist in an attempt to pull you closer. for some kind of reassurance for himself.
“y/n? are you awake?”
“mm..”
“im so sorry” 
“what?” you mumbled half asleep and sat up slowly. you were met with karl’s worried, now red eyes, never daring to make eye contact with you.
“you know i love you, right? and im really sorry, i shouldn't have left you out like that. im sorry for ignoring you and only talking to tina, im just so sorry and i don’t blame you if you want to break up, it’s just I didn’t mean to-”he cries.
“karl, slow down, its fine-”
“i love you, just you”
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stevie-petey · 3 months
Note
Anything with reader and jon please? 🥺
Y E S !! will always love writing pre season 1 reader n jon <3
enjoy !
“im sorry, do you live here?”
the boy, who had been awkwardly standing on the wheelers porch, turns around in fright. he lets out a small squeak and you wince. you hadnt meant to scare him.
“sorry!” you say, putting your hands up so that he knows youre not a threat. “sorry, my mom always says i walk too quietly. it unnerves her.”
the boy doesnt say anything, he just stares at you with wide eyes and you get a sense that hes never really been spoken to by a girl before.
this is definitely not what you had in mind when your mom sent you to go pick up dustin tonight.
itd been a hellish week. you moved from virginia to indiana in the most boring thirteen hour drive of your life. your body was still sore from the ride, but the second you guys had arrived at the new house, dustin ran out the car doors and chased after some kid on a bike.
the two of them immediately became friends. dustin informed you his name was mike before he ran off to go play at his house, leaving you and your mom to unpack the car alone.
eventually mikes family came to help, their daughter, a girl your age named nancy, shyly introduced herself before running away back to her house. you were too tired to pay much attention to it, and too angry at the world for why you were even stuck in hawkins, indiana in the first place.
which leads you to now. standing on the wheelers porch with a boy your age who seems absolutely terrified of girls, unsure where your brother even is.
“so…” you try again.
the boy seems to snap back to himself. “oh! no, uh. no i dont live here.”
“okay… so why are you here?”
“right! uh, picking up my brother. will. hes best friends with mike.”
his nervousness makes you smile a bit. you nod at him and extend your hand. “my brother dustin is inside, too. we just moved in today. seems like we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, then”
he shakes your hand, though tentatively, and his fingers are warm around yours and have a kindness to them. “im jonathan byers.”
“y/n henderson.”
your hands linger together, and jonathan gives you this crooked smile, the kind thats almost mischievous yet shy, and you find that you love it. it suits his face.
some hair gets in his eyes and he quickly snatches his hand away so he can fix it. “stupid wind.”
you giggle. “oh, im sure it hates you.”
jonathan lets out a small laugh. “you tease all your friends like that?”
“mhm,” so he thinks youre already friends. you think youre okay with that. “get used to it, byers.”
“something tells me i’ll have to.”
warmth spreads within your chest and the two of you stand on the porch with only a street lamp as your light. shadows dance across jonathans face and you know already that you feel comfortable around him. he understands your humor, he seems to like it, and hes kind. a bit shy, sure, maybe uncertain, but kind.
youre about to ask him if he likes comics when the door flings open.
“my mom said to tell you guys to come inside already.” nancy says. she looks between you and jonathan, her eyes alight with curiosity.
jonathan ducks his head down. “oh, right.”
“thanks nancy.” you grab his hand and shove him inside with you.
youve long decided to keep him by your side, and judging by how happily he follows along, how he tightens his hand around yours, you know he feels the same.
and, in a heartbeat, jonathan byers becomes your best friend.
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aita for not talking to my sister?
we both currently live in the same house with our mother and youngest sister, who is in elementary. the sister i don't talk to is about two years younger than me. dont want to give exact ages but we are both early adults now. we haven't spoken in about six years, just small talk that is mostly just me giving her a message or asking if she wants something to eat.
now, i stopped talking to her because we got into a fight because i told her she could not hold my little sibling (at that time my mom was the only one working and i was the one caring for my three siblings, including the eldest who is disabled, and i was the only one who knew how to care for a baby.) and she told me basically to die. and a lot of her words were just stuff she was repeating from my mom who has like this weird thing against me since ive been young, never really knew why. she would yell at me in front of my siblings and still does sometimes, though not as much since shes older. anyway, i didnt speak to my sister for about two weeks because of that and also it was not the first time she spoke to me in such a hurtful way, until some family members noticed and scolded me for it being as i am her older sibling.
i didn't feel like what she said was right but eventually i realized i do love and care for her so i did try to make it up by walking her home from school and hugging her and buying her snacks from the gas station that was near our house at the time. but i guess my actions afected her and ever sense she had no interest in speaking with me, which my mother does still constantly blame me for.
i feel bad and i did try many times to fix things and even still currently although i know she doesnt care for me i do little things for her. but she doesnt want to talk and at this point i don't feel obligated to even want to keep trying to mend our relationship when she doesnt even care.
then recently things kind of went bad, which i won't go too much into detail about, but she ended up going to a mental hospital for a few days for running away and threatening to kill herself. and she made some comments about me to my mom saying that i didn't care about her and its my fault she did those things, which my mom agreed. then she came home after begging my mom to get her and pretended as if nothing happened. i soon found out from my eldest sib (who this sister is closer to) that she only did that in hopes that she could get somethign from my mom but idk what and why she even mentioned me because then some people came around asking me if i abused her or anything and why i didnt talk to her.
but it made me angry and hurt since i have been working to be a better sibling even in this awful household, ive been trying to treat my baby sibling better too so at least she knows she's loved and not alone. i am working and going to school while she (sibling i am not talking to) gets to sit at home. i get her gifts and she doesnt even thank me. i still love her even though she hates me so much, even though i know she was just manipulated by our mom to feel that way about me. and for her to say that after ive constantly tried to be there even when she didnt want me it just hurted.
now i am so tired and im preparing to leave the house because i cant do it anymore, although i would hate to leave my younger siblings with my mom. and i think i will give up trying to mend our relationship, because i thought she could change but its becoming to much and i cant be here. i know i should not have stopped speaking with her and i regret it, but i feel like my efforts over the years should be acknowledged too.
and i just need to know am i a bad person for feeling this way? should i even keep trying?
What are these acronyms?
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asmogorna · 1 month
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Sorry to send another ask so soon (and idk if someones asked this already) but if you have any headcanons for Jon I'd love to hear them!
OK SO im really sorry it took me THIS long to get to this i quite literally.. forgot i had smth in my inbox woopsies. the reason i remembered is cause mootie posted some Spine hcs and i was like "woah"
alsooo im not good at putting my thoughts onto "paper" especially in english so you will have to excuse me
anywho my jon headcanons some sad some random /ref
First of all i think that his relationship with Peter Walter I would be far from close. he would be seen as the type of child who's both "too much mess to take care of" and "strong enough to take care of himself" if that makes sense. Peter did love him as his creation but would openly admit that he's not his proudest one, meanwhile Jon wouldn't feel much connection at all. he sympathized with his creator but only in a way he would with any other human being, there was more gratitude than love
Jon struggles with constant malfunctions and his mechanisms are a mess (partially because he gets himself in trouble all the time), so at one point Peter would get tired of fixing him so frequently, and tell him that he can just "walk some things off". That thought stuck to the bot and he would think of all of his malfunctions as slight inconveniences, i mean, he can still perform so why pay attention to the constant neck pain or powering up struggles ? it just became a habit and he kind of forgot that things like that shouldn't be ignored
After a long while when Peter Walter VI grew up enough to start learning more about how automatons work, Jon would be used as a "lab rat" (not really but its just what he himself called it) for young VI to practice fixing mechanisms. thats pretty much when he heard "Wait this cant be right" about his messed up physical state for the first time in a long while. little Peter didnt get to fix all of the things that were wrong with Jon's body, but he did manage to take care of some of them, which almost surprised Jon with how nice it felt to not hear pieces of broken gears rattle in his head every time he moved (who wouldve thunk)
ok now to more lighthearted stuff !!
Jon actually has a very strong bond with Sam ! He loves watching the mustached man work and sometimes follows him around, just enjoying his company. At first Sam thought that the tone-gold automaton was creepy and uncanny, but grew attached to him and his stupidity (/lh). i also think that Sam would be one of the few Walter workers who dont baby the Jon and actually treat him like they would treat any other robot :3
Also Jon just loves his robot family endlessly. shocker !! im not sure how explain it but i think hes the only one to look at other Walter automatons and go "bro i love them so much" at all times. in his head at least. obviously he teases them and argues with them but he wont think twice before accepting a hug from his siblings (except for Upgrade theyre rivals /j)
Speaking of Upgrade !! They feel the most sibling-ish to me (aside from Rabbit & The Spine) because they constantly poke fun at each other yet they still are willing to give each other help and comfort when needed. She once had to carry him all the way back to the Walter manor because they forgot to take some extra cans of crystal pepsi
Also Upgrade got in an accident once which caused her to have a fractured face for a couple of days, and Jon was there the entire time to comfort her and constantly tell her that shes still very pretty
Unlike with other robots, the food that Jon eats doesnt just fall through his uncovered jaw/run into his boiler or anything like this, instead it just. disappears. once he closes his mouth the food just vanishes into the unknown, yet Jon claims that he enjoys the process of "eating" (nobody knows how it works)
LITTLE GIRLS THAT GO TO SPG SHOWS LOVE HIM !! once the band finishes performing, he constantly gets pulled away by a small giggling pink-ish blob to join their tea party or hula hooping contest. thats why he has quite a knowledge on "girly" themes and educates other automatons on the matter
THATS IT FOR NOW TY FOR READING :3
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quodekash · 7 months
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im making dangerous romance my entire personality so im sorry to all my non-bl mutuals for the spamming of your dash every Friday night/saturday morning but its gotta happen
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this is how I pose for photos
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A KISS???
PLS LET IT BE A KISS
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EEEEEEEEEEEEE
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR AGESSSSSS
but also kang's gonna cry in this scene. we've seen it in the end credits, sailom wearing kang's jersey and hugging kang and grinning while kang is full on sobbing and I still can't guess why kang would be sobbing while sailom's grinning and comforting him
thats adorable
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I literally love them so much
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OH
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OH HONEYYY
HE'S TEARING UP
I GET IT NOW
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IT'S OKAY KANG HONEY, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO CRY
I actually really love this
like a lot
generally crying is associated with sad things and characters in shows, particularly if they're men, usually only portray crying as sad, but its actually perfectly normal to cry for literally any emotion at all, and its so refreshing to see him tearing up so much that he needs to wipe it away with his hand, but not because something bad happened, because he's so proud of himself and of how far hes come and it just makes him cry, nothing more complicated than that.
you see, im pretty sure my emotions are stored in my eyes, and I think I generally feel overwhelming amounts of emotions more often than the average person, so at least once a day, those emotions come spilling out because there's just too much of it to keep in my eyes at once
im honestly genuinely surprised I still have tears left
wait how are tears made
where do they come from
how do they not run out
google is not answering my question properly and im too tired and stupid to process whole-ass articles and research thingies so can Someone Who Knows Things please get back to me on this? like how do our eyes just keep producing tears over and over again without running out of stock
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so. he couldnt find his watch. he found out one of his employees stole it. he fired that employee. he's now grumpy because he has to water plants himself now. another employee offered to do the plant watering for him. in exchange, he's giving the employee the very same watch.
do you see what im tryna say here? and what everyone else also probably noticed? it just doesnt make sense
the math aint mathin
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is it... leverage against saifah?
because he told him to water the plants every day from now on
idk man im too tired for this to figure out what's going on
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he's ridiculous, I love him
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like I said at the start of the episode sailom, you're boyfriends now, there's no WAY he's letting you keep your personal space
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AAA
HJSHDJHDJGH
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oh. so it's... not them running away? it's just them heading to a training camp?
wait but in that shot in the intro they dont have much with them. surely thats not them going to a training camp, that's gotta be them running away????
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...
here it comes. here comes the angst. a lot later in the episode than I was expecting, but it's here nonetheless and im not happy about it
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go shove a cactus up your ass you bastard
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OHOHOHOH I THINK THEY ARE ABOUT TO RUN AWAY
BECAUSE WHAT KANGSAILOM ARE CURRENTLY WEARING IS WHAT THEYRE WEARING IN THAT SHOT IN THE INTRO
AND THEY JUST RODE THE BIKE TO SCHOOL
AND THEY JUST TALKED ABOUT GOING TO KORAT
SO I THINK THEY'RE LITERALLY RIGHT ABOUT TO LEAVE AND HAUL THEIR ASSES OUT OF THERE
like right at the end of the episode probably
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perth tanapon sukumpantanasan is a wonder
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PARALLELS TO EPISODE 1 WHERE KANG WAS TELLING SAILOM TO PROSTATE HIMSELF ON HIS KNEES
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ASSHOLE
BASTARD
PRICK
BULLY
BITCH
THERE ARE NOT WORDS ENOUGH TO EXPRESS THE NAMES I WANT TO CALL HIM
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IM AGGRESSIVELY FLIPPING OFF MY SCREEN RIGHT NOW HE'S TERRIBLE AND DISGUSTING AND HORRIBLE AND I KNEW HE WAS BAD AND I KNEW HE WOULD BE THIS BAD BUT HOLY FRICK THIS IS DISGUSTING I can't wait for this man to be shot
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excellent closing words
turn your back and walk away from this mess (and come back to a crime scene where your father has been shot and your boyfriend's brother is being arrested in front of the house but we'll get to that when it comes to it)
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I get what he's feeling and what he means but kang, you still have your friends, you still have your boyfriend, your grandma, you're not completely alone
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thank you sailom for pointing out to him that he's not alone, you're doing me a huge favour (especially considering im a viewer through a screen and not someone who can actually interact with kang so anything I say is kind of pointless)
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hugs :(
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OKAY SO THE THING IS RIGHT
this is really sad and horrible and all that stuff
but, but but but but, he's cried three times in one episode. and one of those times wasn't crying from sadness. that doesnt happen often and I think we should acknowledge that
I love kang for being an emotional mess, he's like me frfr
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side note: all of sailom's hugs look so comfortable
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YESSSSS THEYRE FINALLY GONNA KISS NEXT EPISODE
and like I know they've technically already kissed twice but I mean they're finally gonna kiss good if that makes sense
the first time was revenge, and im sorry kang but the second time was just bad. that was a bad kiss.
WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS FINE
its okay to have a bad first kiss
in fact, there should be MORE bad first kisses in relationships in fictional media
also: loved the gay motorbike commercial in the post-credits scene thingy
ANYWAY this episode was amazing and it was so fluffy and I loved it all so so so much and I'll definitely be rewatching it every day over the next week to keep the brainworms under control, like im slapping flex seal over a crack in my soul repeatedly every day until the next episode comes out
goodnight folks, its nearly 3am, have a wonderful evening/day/morning/whatever, and keep calm and sailom
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ganondoodle · 7 months
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reminder that my totk rants are me just rambling about my thoughts, ideas and complaints, im not trying to analyze anything, be smart, be right, debate or convince anyone who likes it that its bad just bc i think its bad or simply dont like the choices made, im literally just spilling out my brain so it doesnt keep haunting me
if you think something makes sense that i think doesnt i, and forgive me for being so blunt about it, do not care why you think it works, my opinion of this game will not change and i am okay with that
you are free to disagree with anything i say of course but i really dont care why, sorry
(sth i said only in the tags before but added now in this edit bc i think its important: its not bc i dont want to hear other peoples opinions and live in ignorance or something, but bc im tired and i PROMISE you i have seen 99.9% of those arguments already)
im not trying to be mean, aggressive or dismissive, but again, these rants are just me rambling with no intention of arguing with anyone, the only reason im still posting whenever i think of something thats bothering me (even if it might be dumb or be disproven in game bc i am not all-knowing and might be possibly misremembering something), and letting those posts be rebloggable/interactable is bc i have been told by quite a few people that they like reading them or that they feel validated in their own disappointment
thats it.
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