#this fucking blonde dude with a mullet has got me wrapped around his little finger i need to end it all—

[wildflowercryptid]

honestly, i've broken down and need to romance sam again so i'm starting a remake of my switch sdv file on my computer.

[sassysweetcollegegirls]

Lord Forgive me for what I’m about to do:

Everyone who hasn’t seen this image ; here it is and forgive me but as I was standing at my register today.... it hit me and I can’t hold it in. Heaven help me for the hell I am about to unleash for the shit that I am about to fucking do because....

Bobs back and the whole cast of Voltron and some old faces and some of the new ones

The Bachelor AU is here ;

The tv turns on and the family sitting on the couch huddled together the father grumps sticking his hand in some type of goo,” Why the hell are we we watching this Helen?”

“ it’s for Kelly Henri.” Helen the woman on the end snipes her blond hair bouncing as she soothes a few strands in the blanket.

The T.V. Wide pans to a wide shot of earth there’s this terrible cheesy song and everyone watches as Bob blips onto screen.

“WELCOME EVERYONE TO BACHELOR NATION! Tonight is the night Keith Kogane begins the search for the Greatest teammate in his life the one whose gunna sit next to him after the fights all over and share that little shack in the middle of BUTT NOWHERE!!!” Bob’s chair floats around a graceful and pretty landscape of flowers a wide open glass mansion brimming with romantic candles sits behind him.

“So let’s meet this man of Mystery and Intrigue and find out what he wants in a teammate shall we?” bob winks his green skin seeming odd in the earthly landscapes.

Keith stands dressed in a red suit kosmo laying at his feet. Keith keeps touching the pockets of his coat like they are going to disappear if he doesn’t stop touching them. Bob floats over and looks at Keith expectantly,” Keith! Tell us what you look for in the ultimate teammate!!!” Bob’s face is to eager Keith looks at him confused

“What do you mean?”

“Well aren’t you here to find love and that person whose gunna sit down in that shack in BUTT NOWHERE after this is all over.” Bobs excitedly floating upsidedown

“Yes, but it’s not like I’ve got a lot of time to be meeting new people.” Keith runs his hand worried through his mullet and looks at Bob shyly Kosmo hrumphs in a matter of fact way.

“Well that’s why we have assembled a cast of characters you know! We think one of these lucky people could be your teammate Keith!!”

Keith stared at Bob confused,” how am I supposed to know that?”

“Well first your going to meet all 28-“

“ THERES 28 OF THEM?!?” Keith’s voice is slightly panicked

Bob chuckles,” Kid did you like ever watch this show?”

Keith blushes and shakes his head. Bob floats for a second and pats the top of Keith’s head once “I picked a virgin for this one I shoulda picked the dumb one. So basically you go on dates, talk give kisses and have conversations. Try to... connect and then every week you send one or two individuals home.”

Keith nods,” I just want someone who is gunna love me...” his voice is quiet but the microphone still picks up the line and Bob looks at him blankly.

“ Lets meet our contestants alright?”

Keith stands with Kosmo seated calmly at his feat arms crossed as a limo pulls up. The door opens and Shiro steps out. He’s dressed in a beautiful star blue gown and Keith has to blink because for one he’s in a dress and for two he’s stunning. The dress is hugging his shoulders and the sleeves are long (aside from the one that’s not on his prosthetic floating arm) and there’s a slit at the thigh and Shiro just seems to glitter.

“You look so pleased to see me Keith.” Shiro smiles and Keith has to soften and uncross his arms as Shiro steps forward to hug him.

“I’m so confused.” He confesses as Shiro touches his cheek softly.

“ I can imagine I mean. Your in a red suit and look at this” Shiro gestures to the slit on his leg and Keith looks (because Shiro asked) and swallows. He can see Shiro’s thigh which is toned and very smooth beneath the fabric. ,” I am not made for slits this high. Give me a Cinderella gown any day Keith. Not this skank of a dress.”

Keith is blushing as Shiro says a quick goodbye watching as another Limo comes into sight. Keith has about two seconds to breath.

“I REALLY DONT GET THIS SHOW KELLI.” Henri was grumbling looking at the girl sitting on the floor squealing at the man dressed in the red suit and the other man dressed like a woman.

Kelli turns to look at Henri, “ Daddy, Keith wants to find someone to love didn’t you hear him?”

The Show is on pause and Henri is watching his daughter and the happiness and joy and he knows things have been a mess lately and he’s been yelling more so he sighs,” Alright Princess but only for you.” As the show turns back on

Keith watches at the Limo stops and then he’s watching the door open and for a minute it looks like nothing comes out. Just an open door and then he looks downward.

It’s the Arusian. He never did catch the little things name so he’s surprised when suddenly it’s attached to him at the waist.

“Oh um.... Hi. Nice to see you again to.” He offers and the creature smiles up at him. Then it lets go and runs in the way Shiro has gone and Keith looks at his tummy wondering why it’s all warm and he feels safe.

The next limo is quick to show trying to give little time between interactions.

The door opens and there is James. James looks older and he’s still the same stuck personality looking guy Keith remembers taunting him during his younger years. He’s wearing a two piece outfit. The top is embellished with the solar system of earth and glitter while the bottom is very poofy almost tutu like. He wears heals that Keith thinks could double as weapons. It’s a tempting look and one James pulls off. All he would need is Keith’s current jacket and he’d look pretty fuckable. Keith shakes the idea as he watches James stride forward and stop a few feet away,”I really don’t get why they made all of us wear dresses when some of us are men.”

Keith can’t help but smile and then winks,” who knows but your still pretty tasty little snack.”

“Snack Kogane I’m the whole fucking meal. Now give me your coat I’m cold.” Keith laughs loud and audibly and shakes out of his jacket handing it over watching James walk away trying to clean up his mind because he’s not supposed to be having dirty thoughts on this show.

He looks to Kosmo who’s still seated watching amused. “ Your the worst.” He murmurs and then turns to look at the Limo pulling up.

The door opens and Krolia steps out.

Keith balks because 1. she’s his mom

2. She’s his mom

And 3. She is wearing something so revealing he can’t even look at her.

“ Mom what are you wearing and why are you here?”

“Are you not pleased to see me son?”

“Mom... you really shouldn’t be here right now.”

“Why?”

Keith shifts awkwardly and looks at Kosmo,” You realize this is a dating show right?”

Korolia is quiet. “ROBERT EVENGREENSTEIN.”

“Wait You know Bobs Full name?” Keith is shock so deep it’s almost like someone got him a new soul.

“That, among other things. He told me it was customary for mother’s to appear on these shows in shiny black cars. “

Keith rubbed his face and tried not to smudge the eyeliner he’d put on,” Alright so here’s how we fix this. YOU GO HOME. Just get right right back in the shiny car and go home. Then I have 27 individuals to deal with.”

Krolia nodded,” no one else has to know I was here then. Crisis averted.”

“ splendid. Bye mom.”

“ I love you Son. I hope this journey brings you a mate. “ Krolia said envolping in a quick hug before jumping back into the Limo and shutting the door.

Keith sighed and blinked at the stars,” You Guys can’t fuck with me like this.”

He was so wrapped up in stars he missed the Limo pulling up and opening the doors. Allura stepped out and looked at Keith he was dashing in his red and black shirt and tie and he looked focused on the stars. So focused he missed her in the sheer silver gown that shimmered and shined as she glideded up the steps toward him.

“ You will break your neck if you look up like that you know.” She said a smile crawling onto her face and Keith had to swallow as he looked down at her because GODDAMNED GIRL. She was stunning her narrow waist and low dipped halter neck were perfect in the light and the way the light was shining Keith really was beginning to think that maybe he did have a thing for women.

For some reason he held out his hand to her and she took it slender fingers meeting his with confidence.

“Your stunning Allura.” Keith whispered as he reached up and touched her silver hair noting how she somehow managed to rock the it girl earth styles despite her Alien features.

“You clean up nice as well. Now if only we could get you to look this nice for coalition dinners.” She teased

Keith groaned,” Let’s not make this about business or the lions please.”

“Then what is this about Keith?” She asked and suddenly he wasn’t sure. He shrugged and she smiled and then she disappeared down the walkway that headed into the mansion.

Keith looked to Kosmo,” What is this about boy?”Kosmo blinked having no fair response. He was a space wolf on a show about a space dude dating aliens and humans in dresses (how was he supposed to know?)

Keith stood looking at Kosmo until the next Limo showed up and he was treated to another silvery tore the of hair.

“Lotor?” Keith gasped. Lotor stood on the stairs he was dressed regally in purple ruffles that seemed to hide a lot but they stopped at the thighs leaving black leather boots all the way up to his thighs.

“Hello.”

“What on earth are you doing here?” Keith’s eyes were narrowed deep in suspicion.

“Well Bob thought I’d make an excellent contestant for your little show and I have to say the wardrobe and winning over a paladin didn’t sound half bad either. “ Lotor was clomping in his heals commanding his space and Keith didn’t like it,” So let’s make a game of it shall we Paladin?”

Lotor was touching his arm in a comforting way but it gave Keith the chills. He watched as Lotor waved goodbye and walked toward the mansion.

Keith steeled his nerves for a moment and looked to Kosmo,” your going to have to keep an eye on him.” Kosmo rolled one of his eyes and another limo rolled up.

Keith tried to relax. He knew he should smile but he couldn’t. The door opened and Hunk stepped out. Hunk was holding a plate of brownies in one hand and a bone for Kosmo in the other. He was dressed in the yellow dress that went upto his neck and covered most of his arms. It was long and it suited him it made Keith think of summer sunshine and he couldn’t help but be happy to see Hunk.

“Keith!” Hunk cheered climbing up the steps carefully and tossing Kosmo his treat. Kosmo blipped forward to catch it and then went to hide behind Keith,” Dude you look awesome.” Hunk continued as he reached Keith.

Keith blushed because Hunk was always kind,” You look beautiful Hunk.”

“You think so? “

“Absolutely”

“Thank God. I was worried it wasn’t gunna fit or it would be the wrong shade of yello-“

Keith started laughing and pulled Hunk in for a hug,” Hunk it’s perfect. Your beautiful. Thank you for being here. “

Hunk smiled and hugged back as best he could without dropping brownies,” I made brownies. Think we can share?”

Keith looked at Hunk and at the plate and took two and held a finger to his lips,” what the others don’t know won’t kill them.” Hunk chuckled and they waved goodbye Keith touched the brownies in his pockets smiling happy.

The next limo was quick as was the opening door as Rolo stepped out. He looked like he’d rather be shot than be seen in what he was wearing. The dress was a simple baby blue halter that stopped at the knees and they gave him flat Sandles. His hair was freshly washed and combed but he was reaching up and trying to find his goggles.

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked stepping down the stairs

“They wouldn’t let me wear the boots or the hat... n now I got on this dress. I feel very exposed Red.”

Keith smiled,” if it makes you feel better everyone’s in a dress. Even the great Shiro.”

“They got that beast in a dress?”

Keith nodded and Rolo made eye contact,” is it attractive?”

“Extreamly.”

“Alright Red. You talked me into this dress nonsense. I’ll see you later.” Rolo shot clomping down the way to the mansion trying not to touch his hair as much.

Keith just chuckled and watched him go thinking it would be fun to see him in different ones.

The next limo brought a face Keith welcomed and feared. The door opened and Pidge stepped out. She was in a purple dress that stopped at the knees and she was wearing a pair of heals (he wanted to pick her up and carry her because they were so freaking big).

Her dress was crushed with jewels on tops and the bottom was entirely purple tool. She wore it with pride as well as a matching headband that blinked at her.

She wobbled getting out and Kosmo blipped forward to walk her up the steps. “Pidge why did you let them put you in shoes that high?” Keith whines as he was all of a sudden forced to look at the beauty of her legs (was Keith a leg man?)

“I didn’t exactly have a choice.” She murmured as Keith reached forward and took her from Kosmo,” they give you one outfit choice and one set of shoes to start.”

“Monsters.” Keith clarified, he was trying to be gentle because Pidge was resting against his chest as he guided her forward. Keith felt oddly protective of Pidge especially because she had put such honest effort in for him and she stood looking at him now hands in his blushing.

“ You realize all I’m going to do is shitpost and meme in real life right?” She smiled and looked at him and Keith had to try to keep thinking about what she said because all of a sudden he was thinking that his little gremlin was hella cute.

“I’d expect nothing less from my favorite gremlin.” He smiled and she huffed.

“Is there a way to save me the embarrassment of walking down that pathway?” She asked her voice soft and scared.

“Want Kosmo to take you?” He offered

“That would be nice.” She said as Keith swept her up bridal style and set her carefully on Kosmo’s shoulders. Kosmo seemed to understand and he looked at Pidge and then at Keith before blipping out of sight. Keith stood for a minute thinking about the weight of Pidge in his arms.

His own voice broke the silence,” Shit. I should have warned her about Shiro.” he doesn’t have time to run to the mansion and warn her or cover her eyes because the next limo pulls up and Keith has to swallow every gay man’s dirty little secret. 

Mathew Holt. Mathew Holt is the only guy not in a dress. But he was not forgiven because what he is wearing is even more of a sin. Keith can see his chest and the V of his hips as the jeans he was wearing sunk low enough to reveal hip bones but not much else. Keith was having a hard time breathing as he watched Matt approach the cross around his neck bouncing against his pecks and his ponytail was messy he held a coat over his shoulder like he was bored. 

“ Keith. Weird, I’d have expected something a little more sparkly.” Matt tried teasing coming to stand in front of Keith. He smelled so good somewhere between motor oil and sex and Keith was having trouble speaking. “Earth to Keith?” 

Matt waved his hand in front of Keith’s face and Keith blushed coughing,” What I’m sorry.I just your not dressed like n-normal...” 

“This? Bi-Bo-Bii picked it said something about Sex appeal. “ Matt looked at himself and then shrugged. Keith decided it was unfair Pidge was cute and Matt was so sexy Keith may just die,” It’s not bad is it?” Matt asks suddenly self conscious.

Keith waves his hands around,”NONONOYOURGOODYOURGOODTOOGOODACTUALLYOHGODINEEDTOJUSTSHUTTHEFUCKUP.” Keith is panicked all of it coming out in one big rush as he lets out all the air in his lung,” IMEANSHIRO’SINADRESSYOULOOKLIKESEXEVERYTHINGSFINE.” 

“Wait they got SHIRO in a dress?” Matt asks and just as they said that theres a loud cackling scream from inside the mansion,” Is that Pidge?” Keith nods to both and Matt claps his hands smiling,” You forgot to tell her that Shiro was in a dress didn’t you?” 

Keith nods again and all of a sudden Matt in laughing and running off with Keith watching in stunned Silence as his levels of gay calm down and he can finally breath normally. He’s left standing waiting for yet another Limo. 

This Limo didn’t even come to a full stop the door opened and a full rolling body flew out. It took Keith a moment to recognize the mass of Limbs as Slav. “ THIS REALITY IS RUDE.” 

“ Slav, So pleased you could join this uh....” 

“What is this Angry one? Some type of Alternate reality where we all play along in some dating show?” Slav is waving his arms around in his crazy angry way that only slav is capable of,” You know only Shiro and I have the chemistry for that.” 

“Shiro is here. They got him in a dress.” Keith offers trying to sooth the angry scientist. His fingers going to his mullet. He’s looking at Slav who is dressed in a black and white suite and very angry.

“A Dress? Don’t they know how dangerous that is? What if he slips and falls on the train?” Then Slav is marching past Keith and his black and white suit is ignored as you can hear the angry speech he is giving the entire show about safety precautions. 

Keith rubs his hands through his hair and closes his eyes looking up at the stars when the next Limo arrives his back is turned but he can’t miss the soft sound of Shakira’s She-Wolf playing as Lance steps out of the Limo. 

Keith has to blink twice to be sure he is truly seeing it right. Lance is dressed in the tightest dress Keith has ever seen. It stops just short of his ass and Keith is looking at the heals on his feet all the way up his legs. (Keith has decided he is defiantly a leg man and OH Sweet heavens these legs) Kosmo is seated eyes forward he whimpers slightly. Keith shushes him watching as Lance bends and twirls his way towards him. Every flash of skin seems to make the dress creep a little higher and when it comes to getting close Keith thinks Lance’s underwear are red. The music stops and Lance howls gently tilting his head back hand on Keith’s chest and Kosmo joins him eyes closed. A moment of silence lapses and Keith realizes he isn’t breathing. 

“Breath.” Lance murmurs and Keith does as if compelled by some kind of magic. “ What do you think?” 

“Can I touch you?” Keith asks his voice beyond soft as he looks at the ocean blue eyes that have seemingly trapped him. 

“Only because you asked,” Lance says smiling and Keith reaches forward fingers shaking he touches the hem of Lance’s dress he can’t help but notice how smooth Lance’s skin is against the spandex fabric. 

Then both boys hear a soft clearing of throat and jump apart pretending as though nothing happened but not before Lance can sneak his hand in Keith’s pocket and steal Hunks brownie’s before sashaying off to leave Keith with  Samuel Holt. 

“That looked mighty comfortable.” Sam tried and Keith blushed.

“I can imagine that it is. Good to see you again Sam. Are you here because bob dragged you along?”

“ Yup. I figured I would keep an eye on the children. Though I will say you clean up nicely cadet.” 

“Thank you Sir. I Hunk and Pidge are probably pulling pranks on Slav and hopefully Matt hasn’t given to many heart attacks. Report back any findings please.” 

“ Will do captain.” 

Both men part ways Keith standing thinking about a particular set of Legs and Sam off to keep havoc from going all the way. 

[maicrescere]

Hey! Can I request a Jason Todd future where he meets his daughter who has taken over the mantle of the Red Hood? Thank you, love ya!

relationship: jason todd and his daughterword count: 1.1krating: generalwarnings: blood, swearing

A heavy sweat and dried blood coated much of my clothes, luckily not my own blood, but the sweat was definitely mine. I danced along the skyline rooftops, jumping down and tumbling along to the next build, allowing Gotham’s city air to free my mind. One day I became the hero this city needed, just like my father before me. I knew his name, if only by the tales of my mother and the cities older storytellers. The one’s in the city who knew the Bat by a different identity and remembered Batgirl being blonde with a flare of purple. It had been almost twenty years since those years had come and passed, and the memories of those once great heroes had gone with time.

I wore my father’s old identity tonight. My costume similar in shape and style to his; a large red bat insignia was drawn across the chest, while gun holsters laid comfortable against my hips. The helmet was more compact, and the technology in it was significantly better than the previous Red Hoods. I always desired to meet my father, though the idea of it was fruitless, somewhere in this city I knew he lied dormant just waiting to be a vigilante again. In some ways, I hoped that by taking on his mantle, he would one day come out and search for me; but that day had yet to come.

So, until then I swing my feet listlessly off the side of one of Gotham’s highest buildings, listening to the police scanners as I did my homework. Tonight I was reading Catcher in the Rye when the buzz of police scanner drummed within my ear piece.

Robbery between third and main. Is anyone close?

No one responded. Throwing my book into my backpack, I left the bag on the building to come back for it later. Swiftly I lept from building to building, careless throwing myself from amazing heights just to swing a grappling hook in the nick-of-time to save myself from hitting the ground.

Once I got to the scene, police cars could only be heard humming in the distance. There were only two robbers that could be seen, one teenager with a mullet and another a man in his late twenties. The older man had a shotgun pressed to the temple of shop clerk, while the kid scooped money out of the cash register. I accessed the security feed to run on in my helmet so I could see exactly how I to could sneak into the store without either of them seeing me.

My plan was simple, safe, and effect for everyone involved. I slipped inside the storage area, careful not to trip off any of the alarms. My movements were slow, decisive, and well thought out, as snuck into the store, hiding behind one of the aisles.

“Come on dude we gotta get out of here before, you know how arrives,” the eldest man whispered. I peer out from behind the aisle, lining the sight of my gun with his hand that was holding the shotgun. Making a clear shot, I shoot the gun straight from his hand, leaving him a bloody mess.

Before I can even process everything that is going on I heard a loud crash boom from the window, causing my ears to ring from the noise. I turn out from around the aisle, my gun facing towards the large man that just destroyed the front window. The teenager shirt was gripped tightly in the man’s hand, as he growled threats into the frightened boys face. The stranger’s head turned slightly to the side, his face covered with the same red mask that was covering mine.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked, releasing the boy from his grip. The teen frantically escapes from him, making it towards the door, neither of us makes any attempt to capture him.

“I’m Red Hood, what does it look like?” I snap back angrily, my gun still pointed to the man’s head. The stranger easily towers over me by a foot, making me seem like nothing more than a child standing close to him.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but there is only one Red Hood, and I put that to rest years ago,” he says, dropping his gun, gesturing for the shop clerk to leave the story.

My heart skips a beat at the thought of who the man in front of me might be. “Jason?” I ask, my voice soft, as though if I ask it any louder he might get scared and leave.

His gun raises again towards my forehead, his entire body tensing as I say that name. “How the fuck do you know that name.”

“Are you Jason Todd?” I say, one hand slowly dropping my gun to the floor while the other is held palm up in a gesture of placation. He doesn’t answer, which leaves me to believe that he is. “You are Jason Todd.”

“Why did you take up the name Red Hood? Is this some kind of sick joke?” He asked, mimicking my movements and dropping his gun.

I place one finger along the edge of my helmet, where the lock is located, pressing it tightly until the mask opens with a hiss. “I know this is a lot to take in, and you probably aren’t going to believe me…” My long black hair falls out of the helmet, landing on my shoulders. “But I’m your daughter.”

“I highly doubt that, but whoever you are. I’m warning you to put this little game behind you. Put up the mantle for good,” he demands.

“Jason.”

“Don’t call me that,” he sighs, ruefully. I cautiously grab for another gun in my holster, one hand still up to show that I mean no harm. The gun I pull out is rusted slightly by the barrel, and the handle has an engraved bat on it with a small note that says ‘to Jason from your one love.’ I slid the gun over to him on the door.

“How did you get this?” he asked, examining the gun with a sorrowful glint in his eyes.

“My mother gave it to me.”

The crack and hiss of his helmet echoed through the silent convenience store. He set his helmet down, showing the face of an aged Jason Todd, his white spot of hair blending in with the peppered effect of aging. Our eyes looked almost the same as mine, a deep blue ocean with spots of green waves.

“I didn’t know. She never told me.” He shook his head, unbelieving of the girl in front of him. Jason walked closer to me, before wrapping me in his arms. “I am sorry.”