#this game makes me feel emotions i didnt know existed

[organised-disaster]

OH MY GOD THE WEAPONS AND ARMOUR FRISK CAN PICK UP BELOMGED TO THE OTJER HUMANS

I AM NOT OKAY RIGHT NOW

THIS FUCKIGN GAME I JKAHDBEJSNAND DBSKKCNFJEKFBF

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek II: Wrath Of Khan thoughts:

For this post if I could simply embed the entire movie and just write the word, ‘queer’ I would. Unfortunately you are all stuck with this, happy pride month!

Spoilers for the entire movie will be featured in this post

Going forth:

- I know what the kobayashi maru is so I know they’re not in danger but that’s some good acting Bones

- “‘Physician heal thyself.’” “Is that all you’ve got to say? What about my performance?” “I’m not a drama critic.” Thinking about this pose thinking about this pose thinking about thi-

- “Galloping around the cosmos is a game for the young, Doctor.” He’s feeling something and projecting

- “Aren’t you dead?” That’s certainly a way to greet your husband

- They’re so cute. And sad. And cute.

- tiny guys hehe. The boots got sluttier somehow

- McCoy got him glasses cause he can’t read the book without it and bring up that post that’s saying how Spock and McCoy’s gifts go together but McCoy got the logical thing and Spock got the emotional one

- Don’t quote me on this but the things I would do to that man… I wouldn’t.. but holy shit that outfit is killing me.

- hi checkov

- Carol Marcus? Doesn’t she have Kirk’s-? okay then I won’t spoil that just yet

- Creature in a jar moving under the sand

- BOTANY BAY????? Oh wait a sec I should’ve seen that coming it’s called wrath of khan

- Did they kill Chekov?

- hello Khan. That’s a very long and dramatic reveal he’s kinda hot tho

- Thinking about genetic engineering and augmentation and how they’re illegal but star trek presents cases where people now exist and it’s not the fault of the person that they are what they are so they have to question if an entire person should be illegal because of the actions of others… anyway I don’t wanna get deep into this right now, back to the movie

- Are they going to kill Chekov? (edit: not sure why I’m so fixated on thinking they’re gonna)

- WOW THAT IS CERTAINLY A SWEAT DROP

- brain worms… this sounds recently familiar

- HES READING HIS BOOK WITH THE GLASSES THEY DIDNT NEED TO SHOW HIM DOING THAT BUT THEY DID AND ITS ADORABLE OMG

- The conversation between Savik and Spock is so precious. And it’s in Vulcan. And she says “He’s more human than I expected” and it’s like that’s her commenting on Spock’s husband

- Kirk does not want to do this inspection

- McCoy does a little bounce

- “For everything there is a first time. Wouldn’t you agree, admiral” “mmhhmm” “Would you like a tranquilizer?” *Kirk shakes his head*

- I think this one has a more solid plot. I’m enjoying so far :)

- Does McCoy serve on this ship or is he just following along?

- (Had to stop watching around here because I left for the weekend so these thoughts are potentially a bit different)

- wowah! Cool ship!

- uh oh. Chekov on the monitor with the brain worm!

- khan is kinda- yeahh

- I LOVE SAAVIK! RAHHH! Also apparently Saavik is canonically half Vulcan half Romulan according to the trivia

- I like how Bones is just there :)

- Putting Spock in black… they knew what they were doing

- They’re husbands your honour. Spock knows Kirk wants to take command and isn’t to proud to get in the way of making his wife happy

- “You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.” Kissing would have been less romantic

- George Takei’s voice is majestic

- “He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him. I’ll chase him round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares maelstrom and round perdition’s flames before I give him up.” Not obsessive at all.. nope this is something completely and totally normal to say about your nemesis

- “Uhura, have Doctor McCoy join us (Kirk and Spock) in my quarters.” Hmmmmm.. gotta inform the whole polycule about the shady government experiment

- lmao BOTH Spock and McCoy know who Carol Marcus is

- oh so terraforming… NEVERMIND REALLY FAST TERRAFORMING

- “Really, Dr. McCoy, you must learn to govern your passions. They will be your undoing.” Flirting, gentlemen?

- How and why does Starfleet continually put Spock and McCoy together? Like this alert would be sent out 24/7

- Spock and his awesome daughter Saavik

- falling

- Kirk with the breast flap down

- such a good moment… such a great moment (sorry for shitty photos)

- Kirk has to put on his little glasses <3

- Kirk does NOT fuck around

- Poor Scotty. He’s got so much emotion about his dead crew mate and the doctor apologizing to him 🥺🥺🥺

- Saavik making up rules to make sure the admiral is safe. Love her.

- “Jim, be careful.” “We will.” MCCOY IS SO BITTER. Like ‘no wishes of luck for me, Spock? Fuck you!’

- The collar on that uniform is silly

- hehe McCoy got scared by a rat. OH HE ALSO GOT SCARED BY A DEAD BODY

- Kirk’s little disappointed “oh my god” as he finds Chekov in the cupboard

- “Suppose they went nowhere.” “Then this’ll be your big chance to get away from it all.” McCoy’s not leaving Kirk, but he still looks like he wants to strangle him sometimes

- Kirk not afraid to punch a bitch

- WAIT THATS KIRKS SON?!? Isn’t it?? I thought David was Carol’s brother. But nope!

- aww dammnit I knew they were still mind controlled :/

- Saavik saving David. Y’know it would be pretty cool if there was something about Saavik, David, and Johanna meeting and maybe serving on a ship of their own.. idk just thoughts.

- ewwww brain worm.

- OH THE ECHOING “KHANNN”

- mmmm Kirk without the jacket. The white turtleneck with sleeves… also McCoy and Saavik are slaying with their turquoise and orange turtlenecks

- “Food the first order of survival.” I bet the fanfic writers had a field day with this one (cause cause it’s a reference to Tarsus IV)

- Imagine this: you’re stuck underground with your husband, your other husbands adopted daughter, your ex, her son (who’s also your son), and your old Russian navigator who’s unconscious and tried to kill you while being mind controlled by a worm which came out of his ear

- David’s got Kirk’s curls <333

- Kirk has a thing for people who look good in blue. Change my damn mind.

- “I don’t believe in a no win scenario.” He immediately calls Spock afterwards cause he’ll never lose with his husbands around

- “You lied.” “I exaggerated.” Yep, he IS that bitch

- Saavik is learning so much from them

- They still just.. let anyone onto the bridge. Like David is just there now

- oh no Scotty! Well McCoy was miraculously there to catch him

- CHEKOV BACK ON THE BRIDGE!

- Once again. Kirk does not fuck around! He just killed those guys

- “To the last I will grapple with thee.” WOW. Okay. Well.

- Khan’s about to terraform this bitch

- McCoy stopping Spock from going into the chamber..

- “You’re not going in there!” “Perhaps you’re right. What is Mr. Scott’s condition?” SIKE BITCH SPOCK JUST FUCKING NERVE PINCHED HIM. McCoy you should’ve been tipped off by the fact he 1. Said you were right and 2. Gave up trying to self sacrifice so easily

- wait why’d Spock connect to McCoy’s psi points and say remember? Remember what?

- I like there’s just a sign that flashes the word ‘radiation’ in red letters

- McCoy and Scotty BEGGING Spock not to do this. Break my fucking heart why don’t you?

- Kirk’s little run to the engine room <3

- I know he’s dying but those boots are so slutty

- Solely watching Kirk’s face is already like watching 10 puppies get killed

- “Don’t grieve, admiral.” Has me crying already. Your closest and longest friend is watching your slow descent into death and you ask him not to grieve you. You want him to know your death meant something. It meant he’d be safe and that is nothing to grieve. I’m going to be sick

- don’t touch me I’m thinking about this

- SAAVIK IS CRYING OMG GIRL ME TOO

- Kirk’s voice breaking.. god. Shatter my fucking heart why don’t you?

- if they play bagpipes at my funeral I’m rising from the dead (violins would be nice though)

- NOO HIS CUTE LITTLE GLASSES BROKE

- “They’re just words.” “But good words. That’s where ideas begin. Maybe you should listen to them.” POP OFF DAVID ! Good line

- SON REVEAL! NOT CLICKBAIT

- There’s 8 minutes left of this. Did they leave this one with Spock dead?

- “He’s really not dead, as long as we remember him.” Good words McCoy. But perhaps maybe you might have some.. assistance remembering him?

- got distracted and drew Kirk but I love the last little Spock narration. Really brave to end a WHOLE MOVIE with one of the best most well known characters being dead

Well that movie did have its pros and… khans

…

See you next time

Masterpost

[ganondoodle]

I honestly find it impressive how totk managed to fuck up so bad as a sequel. But truth be told, good gameplay aside, botw already was a whole lot of nothing as far as story and lore were concerned. I just feel like amnesiac Link going out into the world to save some voice is not a good premise, even though botw Zelda has an interesting personality. Idk, I guess botw felt like an experiment that was supposed to pay off in totk, but totk being a disappointment makes botw kind of feel like a waste of time as well

yes and no to that (in my opinion .. just gonna add that to be sure)

what hooked me in botw was less the story that was told and more what was implied, bc it seemed to imply so much, there was so much design that felt intentional- like an introduction to a world with subtle hints towards much much more that would be perfect to dive deeply into in an expansion or second part- just like you said

i personally am a sucker for big environments with enviromental storytelling more than direct dialog in your face- it might be a small detail to some but for me the choice of music, or how little and broken there was really spoke to me (in part bc i am very noise sensitive, id gladly spent hours in botws hyrule field, but id want to get out of twilight princesses hyrule field bc it would get unbearable to me after a while)

but mainly .. it was the world, botw made me feel like no other game has before, it felt so real to me, that this is a world with deep history, most of which unknown, so much mystery and things that existed with no explicit explanation (like man do i love botws dragons ...... and i will not forgive what totk did to them lore wise)-- like with the ancient shiekah especially, they were, or seemed, so drenched in lore you can only guess but yet it felt so intentional, or how calamtiy ganon was this strange being like a force of nature and the gerudo having had no king in so long it was basically forgotten it was ever a thing?? so much to speculate and think about, so much you could do with all those things; you probably didnt aim to get this kind of talk from me but when i talk i talk unfortunately, and botw is my second favorite zelda game (grinding my teeth to dust trying to ignore what totk did to its lore)

if you look at just whats told to you, botw isnt that special either (though at least coherent in itself lol) but its the world and design and mystery that got to me, that i care about so much, care that got almost utterly destroyed by totk bc it made me realize that there .. might have been no intention behind anything, it didnt mean anything actually

its a thing that hurts me so much to know, to think about, that totk cannot be separated from botw, they cheapen each other, people think its just botw+extra, when imo its more like .. botw again but worse, or them saying that botw was jsut a tech demo to the grand game that is totk (i couldnt disagree more to that wtf, totk is more of a tech demo for ultrahand tbh)

i cant even decide whats worse to me, the fact that botw isnt gonna get that deep lore dive in a second part that got me so excited like i never was before after the first trailer, that everything i cared about in it isnt gonna have a follow up ever, the knowledge that there might be no intention and no meaning behind anything in their games, that the next games might be like that too, that its inseperable from totk in the worst way, or that they only damage each other, botw functions better on its own than totk does, but together it worsens both

(i basically just said what you said in long form .. sorry- though i do feel more positively about the amnesia thing in botw, theres tragedy and emotional weight in it and helps immensely to let you and link explore the world like for the first time- plus its a drawback to an otherwise pretty overpowered piece of tech/magic- unlike some other things in a certain other game)

[found-family-tournament]

Found Family Tournament Round 2 Part 11 Group 51

Propaganda and further images under the cut

Hayakawa Family: Denji, Aki Hayakawa, Power

Sea Salt Family: Isa, Lea/Axel, Roxas, Xion

Hayakawa Family:

They are so special to me AUGH I love them so much. Denji and Power are the chaos siblings and Aki is the older brother who has to deal with their shenanigans. They canonically live together and Denji just straight up said that he views Power as his younger sister. They are so Family it's painful. Denji's dad committed suicide and no one knows his mom, Aki's whole family died tragically, and Power is a fiend which means she wouldn't have any relatives anyway. Then they got put in a devil hunting division together and Denji (who lived in a shed) and Power (who had no home) were assigned to live in Aki's apartment, and from then on it's history. I don't expect them to win, as much as I hope they do, but I'm glad I found this tournament that I could submit them in!

whats better than coworkers being forced to live together until they love each other? sometimes a family is a 16 year old boy that was kidnapped by the government for having a chainsaw head, the most egotistical possessed corpse in existence, and an overworked 20 year old with depression and homemaking skills. they have one last name between them and thats all they really need.

Sea Salt Family:

isa and axel are childhood friends-to-enemies-to-lovers. the reason they drifted apart is because axel practically adopted roxas and xion when they were in a cult and isa didnt like that. because theyre not supposed to have emotions (its a long story) and isa felt like axel was abandoning him and their other friend who was being used for human experimentation. eventually xion found out that she was draining roxas's life force and they couldnt both exist. so roxas kills her and then EVERYONE FORGETS HER. then roxas goes back to sora (again, long story but he basically doesnt exist anymore except for when his feelings make sora sad) and now axel's alone. hes sad :( and then he dies and comes back as a normal person with Emotions (tm) but isa didnt. and now isa's working with the bad guys except not actually because he's working on getting roxas and xion back for his bf. at the end of the game they have a very Emotional scene where isa dies in axel's arms and admits his jealousy and in the softest voice says "see you, lea" and then he fades but in the end cutscene he's actually fine now! (long story) and hes eating ice cream with his boyfriend's adoptive kids

[dnpbeats]

No but actually on the topic about the fuchsia phone case joke. I sometimes find it so hard to reconcile the images and videos of them then, with a)the two idiots we know now, but also just the two people we now understand them to have been at the time.

I see dan making a slightly off colour joke about phils phone case looking gay, and then i think the scared closeted 20yr old, trying to desperately figure himself out, and qhen i try to match them up, in some ways it makes so much more sense and in others it feels like my brain is short-circuiting.

I guess I just always wonder what those jokes and comments actually meant to them at the time. When I first started watching them, way back in 2015, I always understood the jokes they made as being in the same context as when my straight peers/friends made them. Misinformed but not malicious. As coming from the perspective of a straight person who didnt really think about what they were saying. But now obviously we have context, and now im a full raging lesbian myself, who similarly made gay jokes/comments when I was still in the closet, and I'm just starting to realise what mustve been going on in their heads. Like, im not saying the fuschia phone case comment was some desperate desire to be free and open or whatever, it was a joke and it wasnt a particularly deep one, but there is an added layer to it. Dnp laughed for more than just the fact that the 'fuchsia phone case looks gay'. They laughed bc they knew who they were, they were making fun of the whole 'having a purple phone case means your gay' concept in the first place, and they were just two closeted 20-somethings, existing in a world that wasnt ready for them yet. And yeah it was just a stupid joke, but thinking about it too much has made me a little emotional so here we are.

Hi!!! I totally understand this. It’s been wild going back and watching their content with the knowledge we have now. Like I, as most people did, presumed they were queer before they came out. But it’s absolutely a different experience thinking that and knowing that. While I was watching ditl it hit me that like. They were a closeted couple while filming that, and that’s not speculation, Dan confirmed that. And it kind of hit me in a way I can’t describe, but honestly part of it did make me sad. Just like, knowing what it must’ve been like for them. And I totally get what you’re saying about the gay joke. Like for them obviously part of it was like “oh haha making a gay joke when we’re gay!” But it’s also like… making a gay joke because you’re closeted and that’s as close as you can get to publicly being yourself. And even then, whatever the exact joke was, they cut out part of it. Which honestly was probably a good call lmao but, yeah. I agree that specific joke wouldn’t have been some like grand moment in their lives or that it’s that deep at the end of the day. But it’s just knowing that things/jokes like that were probably a regular occurrence and for a while that was like what they had yk? Making gay jokes and then cutting them out, because they didn’t want them to be misconstrued but maybe bc they hit a little too close to home

And now look at them. Joking about eating jizz on the gaming channel for all the world to see

[anonzentimes]

how do people that dont immediately fall in love with nagitos character do it like chapter 1 he was so polite and nice i literally didnt wanna spend time with any other character, i caught on that nagito was responsible for SOMETHING before the first trial started and was genuenly so terrified he killed twogami cause i didnt want him to die, and then he had his breakdown and i was like yeah this is my favorite character in the entire series (i was still pissed at him for the rest of the trial lmfao

OH MY GOSH SAME!!! Like, everyone has a different experience, but as someone who loved him from day ONE I don't understand the experience of only eventually loving him lol. Even just people not loving his very existence and mannerisms is so different compared to me that I get confused! Finding him annoying sounds miserable I love him very much and not having him to hyper fixate on no, no, not having his impact on my life PERIOD would change my life drastically and I'd say for the worse. He's been so influential to so many parts of my life and continues to be such a fun brain worm consistently. I feel pity for those who can't experience the joy of his character and how happy he makes me, I know that there's no one with the exact impacts he's had on my life because he's so special to me.

At the time I saw Danganronpa 2 I was pretty depressed and every day felt the same, I was so miserable most of the time and was getting burnt out of life. I was loving Danganronpa though, I loved the first game and it gave me something to look forward to every day.

For Danganronpa 2 I had heard about Nagito, I knew he was popular but I didn't know why. I thought he'd be a major character so when he was just chill at first I was surprised. I was suspicious of him but that still didn't stop me from really liking him, my favorite from the first game was Makoto so his parallels and personality were really nice, fun, and interesting but I still was suspicious if there was more. When his breakdown happened my suspicion fell and instead of feeling conflicted and getting more suspicious it all made sense to me. He was so interesting and different, I loved everything about him and I wanted to understand him. It's kind of embarrassing but, it genuinely did help me at the time. After feeling as if every day felt the same in a weird helpless cycle my emotions about him were extreme enough that I loved that I was even feeling something which added to my love for him.

I saw the rest of Danganronpa 2 in 5 days because I was so invested and got a headache at Chapter 6, I cried at his death and it's the most I've cried at any specific media in recent years that I can remember lmao. I wanted to understand him more so I watched videos and read his wikis, I watched his free time events, I set him as all my profile pictures and wallpapers so I could have something that made me feel happy, I learned to draw him and his hair and he's all I wanted to draw which helped me improve, I joined the fandom early and met crucial people to my life before I finished the rest of the franchise because I loved him specifically so much, I got pinterest specifically so I could find more art of him, I read the komahina wiki just because I wanted to understand him more which led me to start shipping things that weren't strictly said to be canon, I discovered the term hyper fixations and realized I was neurodivergent because of him, like I could go on all day with the list of impacts on my life because of him but you get the point. He's still the most extreme hyper fixation I've ever experienced lmao. He's a special interest and I can say without a doubt that he still remains to be such a positive influence to my life. I'm grateful to experience such passion and happiness from something like him, haha! My love for his character STILL is helping my life even now by allowing me to practice articulating things about him, which has led to being able to get better at articulation in general, which has led to being better at english even having fun with it now and being less overwhelmed because I can express myself.

Oh my gosh I went on a yap sesh my bad LMAO!! But my point is, my experience with him is very specific and probably biased. But even so, I struggle to understand those who have such a different experience from me with him since I loved him from the start and my love only grew and has never stopped. I'm biased and I'm sure people have other interests that make them just as happy as he makes me, but I still feel sorry for those who don't experience what I do with him. But in the end one of the main beautiful things about media is subjectivity, so I'm okay being able to be so grateful for his existence and how it makes me feel.

Got a bit personal and sentimental with this since you struck something I was already thinking about when you sent this haha, sorry I said I agree in the longest way possible like it was a yapping content LMAO... thank you for your ask! <3

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

handwritten asksss 📝💻

📝 do you have a WIP? share a piece of it!

because you didnt force me to write it by hand i will share both my wips but only this once!! i believe i already talked about both but will give a short summary of both. falling stars was initially about post final fifteen crowley having a conversation with god but the plot evolved and so now there is a lot of pre fall crowley as well (not to spoil too much but... your body horror angel crowley is, let's just say, not too far off). here's a snippet:

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the beautiful sketch of the Mona Lisa. With trembling hands, Crowley reached behind it in his safe and retrieved the water bottle Aziraphale had given him all those years ago. The holy water, a gift from Aziraphale, a reminder of a time when things had been simpler, when they had still believed they could defy fate. He eyed it warily, his mind swirling with conflicting emotions. Would it really be that bad? What did he have left to live for anyway? The holy water sat before him like a silent temptress, promising release from the agony of his existence. What harm could it do, he wondered, to swallow the very essence of divinity itself? But as he reached for the bottle, a flicker of doubt danced behind his eyes. Was this truly the answer he sought, or merely another desperate grasp at oblivion? He hesitated, his fingers hovering over the bottle. He closed his eyes and placed his hand on top of it, feeling the weight of centuries pressing down on him. The memories of happier times with Aziraphale whispered in the back of his mind, begging him to hold on, to find another way. But what other way was there, he thought as a tear slid down his cheek.

yep well on to the next one. Only human is very complex in the sense that a lot is happening lol. Crowley has lost his memories sometime after eden and he now believes he's a human. an immortal one, that is. in the present day he's a private detective and is investigating a series of disappearances that may not be what they look like (lol does that even make sense). oh and he has this recurring dream about a certain angel that he made up a long time ago to cope with his loneliness. turns out the angel is real. and also an angel. and he's begging crowley to help stop the apocalypse. are we just glossing over the fact that angels are real?? hello??

anyway here's my favourite part i have written for this fic (and probably for any fic lolll) (oh little context, the story is set in present day but every chapter has a flashback a random (or not so random👀) time period. this is part of a flashback from the year 1789, Paris. did i mention it's at a masquerade ball?)

“You’re not from around here, are you?” the stranger asked, tilting his head to the side while adjusting the delicate feathers on his mask. Crowley, intrigued by the question, offered a wry smile beneath his own disguise. “How did you know?” “It’s your clothes,” the man answers. “And the way you move.”

“The way I move?”  “I saw you dancing. The French don’t dance like that.” Crowley became vaguely aware that the man had seen him dance. A flicker of realisation crept in — had the mysterious figure been watching him the entire time? “How do the French dance, then?” Crowley asked. “Calculated. Like every step is a move in a game of chess. But you,” the man glanced at Crowley, “you dance like you're defying the very concept of rules. There's a freedom in your movements, a rebellion against the constraints of structured elegance.”

if you liked this little snippet you should see the rest of the flashback im literally shaking everytime i think about it it's the best this ive written frr (i know im biased but ahhhhh it's so delicious)

[thedarklightcrypt]

Kaos analysis if ya can! Literally just anything about him :0

Maybe his skills? I am truly curious about his position as a dark portal master.

ooh! kaos happens to be one of my favorite characters, and you bringing up him being a dark portal master... I do not own every piece of skylanders media, but I will do my best to summarize his skills in a detailed manner. within spyros adventure. he has control over various elemental spells, which range from doom sharks to lasers, his mechanical suit also utilizes these spells and I assume them to be built into the suit, he also seems to be able to summon his minions at free will. its never stated whether his giant floating head is via technology or something else, the closest we get is him telling glumshanks to turn it off after trailing off. in giants. the only skills hes seen using are directly connected to the iron fist (summoning arkeyans, eye lasers, the healing-damage-spell contraption), though I do not know much of it is due to the iron fist or his own built in magic. swap force, in VV nature, features a different set of capabilities for him. he uses petrified fire in one cutscene without any prior build up, and as super evil kaos can create shockwaves or bring his thoughts to reality. I must say that I was... unimpressed, back when I saw he didnt use anything relating to petrified darkness... but I am getting off topic. trap team, which was of course done by TFB, gives him a new super powered form. when affected by the stinkocity, he appears to... be able to see through dimensions? as he can see you (the player) through the tv screen, his vision also became faux psychedelic which I feel is relevant enough to mention. as his traptanium form he sprouts wings, gets crystal blades, can make... black energy? I dont know how to describe it, amongst some other things. superchargers has an interesting spin... which I quite like! he seems to be getting a power boost from the darkness, and actually utilizes some of his own spells (to my understanding, I am unsure if its been confirmed anywhere), such as teleportation + fake copies, crystal swords and hands. I think this is a really wonderful change of pace compared to his usual per-game super powered form. imaginators, I feel is the weakest. he lost his connection to the darkness after it was destroyed in superchargers, so instead we get mind magic and... super saiyan final boss...? imaginators is an extremely short and unfinished game to my knowledge, so I will not dwell on it for too long, but I believe mind magic lets him imagine anything into existence. though you can argue its not actually him whos using the magic as I believe it comes from brain. its extremely easy to make a joke about kaos only being a threat when he has outside forces assisting him, but to me that is a massive disservice to his character. it has been a bit since I read the novels, but in those he uses a wide variety of spells from teleporting individuals with the snap of his fingers, lightning, flying flower pots, lightning that drains your energy, as well as various contraptions like a miniature portal. the novels have a strange habit of switching back and forth from him being a threat and a joke, but the skylanders rarely face him head on due to him backing them into corners with his own skills & tactics, which I enjoy! upon acquiring the mask of power, he can steal the skylanders powers, though I feel this is unnecessary to further go into. one thing interesting about kaos is that he is extremely tactical while being horribly impulsive, so he ends up in a strange situation where he has the cards to win, but his emotions get the better of him. he is also someone who uses a lot of technology in his plans, and its not uncommon to see his spells accompanied by a contraption, that is typically implied to be created by him (or, that is how I have always seen it), he also created & brought the wilikin to life as a young portal master. I am sure there are pieces I have missed, due to not owning every book. but if so those who own those books can likely provide.

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Dirk Strider

Act 6, page 7748-7756

DAVE: ok actually maybe i will get into it

DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them

DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me

DAVE: but thats not how it was

DAVE: their complaints were trumped up nonsense and i bought it cause... i dunno

DAVE: i didnt have any frame of reference

DAVE: but his dad and her mom no matter what they said it was so obvious they cared about them deeply

DAVE: even jades weird fuckin grandpa who died when she was young obviously would have done anything for her

DAVE: why did i get such a raw cut of the asshole deck

DAVE: and why did it take me so long to figure that out

DAVE: and like hes dead now so thats that

DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years

DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?!

DAVE: i dont come away with the impression i used to try convincing myself of, that he was like "mysterious" or "stern" or "aloof"

DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me

DAVE: and the whole act of even "raising a child" was some totally fucked up game to him

DAVE: like parenthood was one of the highest tiers of irony in his solemn bullshit bro-ninja code

DAVE: so he went through those motions and did whatever he thought was "funny" or "badass"

DAVE: but under that weird stylistic and totally sociopathic approach to parenting i cant even IMAGINE there was any emotion toward me other than some sort of loathing

DIRK: What...

DIRK: Did he do?

DAVE: i dont want to get out the laundry list

DAVE: but for reference laundry wasnt one of those things

DAVE: that was just one of the many little domestic things i just had to sort of FIGURE OUT

DAVE: sorta like i eventually had to learn what the REAL purpose of a refridgerator was from movies

DIRK: Wait.

DIRK: What??

DAVE: i dunno theres too much to even get into

DAVE: just

DAVE: i dont remember the atmosphere ever not being nerve wracking

DAVE: all havin to sneak around and...

DAVE: ugh my shitty childhood spider senses are tinglin just thinking about it

DAVE: it was "training" you know

DAVE: but you know what it really was it was some vicious shit that was bad and sucked and i hated it

DAVE: it didnt make me stronger

DAVE: it did the opposite

DAVE: it made me never want to fight

DAVE: it made me never want to see blood or be near danger or hear metal sounds

DAVE: it made me hate the idea of being a hero cause he was a hero and he ruined the idea of heroism

DAVE: i dont even want to be fighting this shitty version of jack but hey nobody else has secret welsh powers so i guess i have to

DIRK: ...

DAVE: what gets me is how long it took me to put all this together

DAVE: to stop seeing it as some kinda roughhousey and eccentric life i had but was otherwise normal

DAVE: it took years to deconstruct it all and put it back together to understand how fuckin mad i should be

DAVE: and in particular how stone cold deeply uncared for i was my whole life

DAVE: like... being merely "monitored" by a violent robot

DAVE: i only started getting it after spending a lot of time in person with a bunch of people who actually did care about me

DAVE: and i could start feeling like

DAVE: actually somewhat human for the first time

DAVE: instead of...

DAVE: some sort of runty afterthought to a household cabal of smutty puppets

DIRK: ... Puppets?

DAVE: the fuckin puppets!!!

DAVE: i know how it sounds but i am NOT joking and there is NO shred of doubt in my mind that he loved all those puppets more than me

DAVE: honestly it is very possible that he was just insane and thats that

DAVE: i guess it didnt help either that we lived with what we have come to understand may theoretically be the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever

DAVE: in fact its my tenuous understanding that he came down to earth with that thing and like actually grew up with it

DAVE: maybe...

DAVE: maybe spending 30 some years being unseparable from that hell puppet had some effect on him??

DAVE: maybe if it hadnt been casting a pall over our apartment 24/7 since he took me in...

DAVE: grinning...

DAVE: glaring...

DAVE: laughing in my sleep...

DAVE: maybe our lives wouldnt have been quite so...

DAVE: maybe we would have...

DAVE: ugh

DIRK: What?

DIRK: You ok there?

DAVE: .....

DAVE: .....

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: That doll.

DIRK: That was Cal, right?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: Right.

DIRK: My version is "empty", apparently.

DIRK: Whatever that means.

DAVE: huh

DAVE: how do you know that

DIRK: A source.

DIRK: One supposedly knowledgeable in jujus.

DIRK: I never quite knew what that meant, though.

DAVE: well

DAVE: whatever his was

DAVE: "empty" is never how i would have described it

DIRK: Hmm.

DAVE: man

DAVE: i dunno if i figured something out here

DAVE: like um "explained" something or

DAVE: if im just driving myself crazy with this talk and nothing even needs explaining

DAVE: it doesnt change my past or how i feel about him

DAVE: he was still pretty much awful no matter what the reason

DAVE: and im sure thats the only feeling ill ever have about him

DAVE: so who cares why it was like that

DIRK: Yeah...

DIRK: That...

DIRK: All sounds really bad.

DIRK: I don't know what to say though.

DIRK: Maybe I shouldn't say anything.

DIRK: Since I just remind you so much of him, for, uh. Obvious reasons.

DIRK: I don't want to make you feel worse, or make it sound like I'm offering a defense.

DIRK: For him, or me.

DIRK: Because I don't have one.

DIRK: For either of us.

DAVE: come on man

DAVE: YOU didnt do anything

DAVE: this was just some douche bag with your exact dna, who happened to grow up to be my bro

DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like

DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff

DAVE: and even if you were gonna turn out like him youve barely cleared the half way mark on actually chronologically gettin there

DAVE: in some way ranting about all this is probably just uncool of me because...

DAVE: you arent him

DAVE: youre not resposible for any of this shit but im sorta implicitly tacking it on you anyway

DAVE: so

DAVE: sorry about that

DIRK: I'm not sure it's true though.

DIRK: At least, I don't feel that way.

DAVE: what way

DIRK: That I'm not him.

DIRK: The fact is, I am.

DIRK: It's something I've come to understand about myself.

DIRK: All splinters of me are basically me, no matter how much I want to resist that truth.

DIRK: Or pretend they aren't reflecting my own qualities back at me.

DIRK: I bear a certain responsibility for all of them.

DAVE: splinters...?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: I guess the concept isn't that unique to me.

DIRK: We've all got other versions of ourselves running around here and there, throughout the various compartments of this messed up cosmos.

DAVE: right

DIRK: I just happen to be particularly connected to mine.

DIRK: I've felt...

DIRK: Haunted by them.

DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities.

DIRK: So, when I hear about stuff I did in another reality,

DIRK: I'm not sure what my adult self might have ever tried to do to atone for that stuff, if anything...

DAVE: pretty much dick squat

DIRK: Yeah. But in any case,

DIRK: I'm sure I was completely in the wrong, and I'm sorry I messed up your life.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: thanks

DAVE: but

DAVE: it still feels a little odd accepting an apology from somebody who i just met and technically had nothing to do with my life

DAVE: even if you do feel guilty splinterways or whatever

DAVE: it is just a messed up situation

DAVE: and i guess i had to vent

DAVE: and there was never anyone i wanted to say all that to

DAVE: and the only thing that was gonna drag it out of me i guess was like a teen stand-in phantom of my dead bro

DAVE: just some perfectly innocent dude havin to take the brunt of this shit

DIRK: I'm not particularly innocent though.

DIRK: I've messed a lot of things up.

DIRK: With my friends.

DIRK: Honestly, that's why I wasn't that bent on sticking around, when I showed up.

DIRK: And pretty much jumped at the offer of flying here to get ready for some yet to be explained battle.

DIRK: Battles are easy. Just you, a sword, some bad guys... it's a lot simpler than having to answer for things you did.

DIRK: For the most part, I feel pretty bad about the role I played in my friends' lives.

DIRK: Especially Jake.

DAVE: what happened there

DIRK: I don't even know.

DIRK: An unmitigated disaster for which I'm entirely to blame.

DIRK: It's not any one thing. I think I was just a completely toxic element in his life from day one.

DIRK: I don't know what he's doing now.

DIRK: I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to avoid me as much as possible.

DIRK: I'm sure that's for the best.

DIRK: I think I need to stay out of his business for a good while, so I don't risk poisoning another innocent kid's life.

DIRK: Like I did with you, apparently.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: maybe its a little different cause relations between peers is a whole other thing

DAVE: its tricky shit and youre both figuring stuff out on a relatively equal footing and youre both at the same point in your lives

DAVE: its not like when one person is older and supposed to be a lot more...

DAVE: never mind this is a fucked up thing to think about

DAVE: but the bottom line is yeah laying low while you sort out your stuff cant hurt

DIRK: Right.

DIRK: The thing with that, with my adult self's...

DIRK: Ways.

DIRK: The sad thing is,

DIRK: I can really see it.

DIRK: How someone like me can go unchecked in life, and turn out to become a much worse person than I already am.

DIRK: I guess I'm just relieved I still have some time to make sure that doesn't happen.

DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though

DIRK: No?

DAVE: nah

DIRK: Why not?

DIRK: We did just meet, after all.

DAVE: because

DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad

DAVE: i think if i ever sensed my bro like

DAVE: struggled at all with what he was doing or who he was

DAVE: or showed any sort of doubt

DAVE: that might have changed everything

DAVE: but there was never a crack in it

DAVE: or the slightest hint of introspection behind the aggressive cooldude facade

DAVE: if there was i sure never noticed

DAVE: i mean personally

DAVE: i think about it all the time now

DAVE: what it actually means to be good or bad

DAVE: or if not something that starkly moral

DAVE: at least just trying to examine the difference between being decent and being a douche

DAVE: maybe its because of him i worry about that now

DAVE: but for me i think that internal struggle is kind of mild

DAVE: for him...

DAVE: or you i mean

DAVE: it sounds like some pretty dark shit

DAVE: like grappling with...

DAVE: becoming evil vs simply trying not to

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That's not too far off.

DAVE: but the point is

DAVE: even just talkin to you a little bit

DAVE: its obvious youve been fighting with that

DAVE: which means that you care enough to put in some effort

DAVE: i think that counts for something

DIRK: Maybe.

DIRK: Not sure if I'm ready to accept a pat on the back for recognizing I have some problems, and worrying about whether they'll destroy me and fuck up the people I care about.

DIRK: That might be setting the bar kind of low.

DAVE: well when it comes to the subject of him

DAVE: the bars already pretty low dude

DIRK: The weird thing, honestly,

DIRK: Is that it's actually kind of refeshing to hear a sincerely leveled critique of all my negative qualities, coming from another person invested in a relationship with me, rather than from a fucked up iteration of myself as some bizarre "trollish" form of self abuse.

DIRK: The only thing I've ever been exposed to are either various forms of self loathing either from me or my auto-responder, or attitudes completely oblivious to my real issues, as expressed through my friends.

DIRK: My friends always seemed to cut me so much slack, or were just never aware of the kind of person I really was.

DIRK: Well, Jake probably is, by now at least.

DIRK: But he's also the sort of guy who's just as likely to blame himself for stuff I did, as he is to blame me.

DIRK: Jane and Roxy, though.

DIRK: Never seemed to see anything wrong with me.

DIRK: If anything, just the contrary.

DIRK: Roxy in particular had a certain... fixation.

DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.

DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.

DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.

DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger.

DIRK: And since then, I've been plagued by the insane ego of my youth in the form of an artificial intelligence I designed which essentially trapped that state of mind in a sort of horrid suspended animation.

DIRK: Until... recent developments, of course.

DAVE: so

DAVE: was that stuff true

DAVE: when you said you idolized the other version of me

DIRK: Yeah.

DAVE: and not just some bullshit like how i used to say the same thing about my bro when i didnt know any better

DIRK: It's definitely not like that.

DIRK: I never lived with him, or met him, so couldn't have anything like the contentious relationship you had with my older self.

DIRK: He was a historical figure from centuries ago.

DIRK: There was a lot to admire, and think about fondly.

DIRK: Especially since I was alone, and never had any direct contact with another person, or any concept of civilization.

DIRK: So even though I'm sure I romanticized what his life was like, and the early 21st century in general,

DIRK: It was nice to think about you.

DIRK: I passed a lot of time that way.

DAVE: you say there was a lot to admire

DAVE: like what

DIRK: Well...

DIRK: He was pretty famous.

DIRK: Made some successful movies.

DIRK: At least under a somewhat expansive definition of "success".

DIRK: And an even more expansive definition of "movie".

DIRK: His work accumulated a lot of subversive political influence, which got him in trouble later.

DIRK: He made like a million bullshit Statues of Liberty, scummed them up with jpeg artifacts, and littered them all over the planet.

DAVE: holy shit

DIRK: He was also a pretty badass swordsman, and an active member of the resistance movement.

DIRK: He slaughtered the clown presidents on the roof of the White House, and flew away on a shitty skateboard.

DIRK: Then it seems he gave the Batterwitch a pretty good run for her money.

DIRK: It wasn't enough, but at least he went down fighting.

DAVE: that

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: ima need to hear more details on this some time

DIRK: Sure.

DIRK: But as you can tell, clearly there was a lot to look up to.

DIRK: I thought about the examples you set constantly. The creative ideals, the advanced theories on irony and humor, the tales of courage and martial prowess.

DIRK: Really, I modeled everything about myself after you. Or at least everything good that I was trying to become.

DIRK: And I probably spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining what it would be like to live during his time, and to be able to have something resembling a sibling relationship, or be in some sort of master-apprentice situation.

DIRK: When I finally learned you existed, and started to understand who he really was in relation to me, that put a lot into context.

DIRK: I realized he was a version of you who got a chance to live up to his full potential.

DIRK: And when I understood there was a young version of you, in a situation sorta like mine, whose time on Earth got cut short when you were thrown into all this,

DIRK: I was at least happy to think there was some reality where you got the chance to do everything you wanted to do, be successful, and fight for all the right things.

DIRK: Even if ultimately it didn't lead to a great outcome for humanity, you had an opportunity to live a full life and show what you were made of.

DIRK: While I guess I had... the same opportunity on your world, somewhat less fortunately.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: but then for all my bitching i guess i still never grasped your full reality

DAVE: just like you probably didnt grasp mine, but just reading into the mindset of a historical figure as best you could

DAVE: what if i wasnt as heroic as it seemed?

DAVE: what if adult me was kinda douchey too in a way you couldnt observe

DIRK: Perhaps.

DIRK: But beyond a certain point, I think accomplishments speak for themselves.

DIRK: I dunno if you can just completely shred every person who ever did great things because they had some flaws.

DIRK: All I can say is, it was important to me to see him the way I did.

DIRK: As a good person who inspired me, and set the standard for what I wanted to be.

DIRK: It kept me going.

DIRK: That said, I'm also glad there's this version of you who got to go through all the things you've been through.

DIRK: Like, yeah, you didn't get to be the cool celebrity who cuts down juggalos on badly defaced government property.

DIRK: And the idea of a "normal life" was rudely taken from you, and it's something you'll never get to experience.

DIRK: But this is so much more challenging, and uncertain.

DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical.

DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here.

DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me.

DIRK: But it sounds like it's been true for you too.

DIRK: It sounds to me like the experiences you've had changed you a lot, for the better.

DIRK: You mentioned the experiences with him that were designed to make you stronger have actually made you weaker, but really, I doubt that's true.

DIRK: I bet you've become stronger than you realize, not because of anything he did, but because of what you've done, and the ways you've changed yourself through your own effort.

DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.

DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.

DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.

DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: ...

DAVE: ...

DAVE: you dont think im cool?

DIRK: Nah.

DIRK: I mean, in the right way, yes. I think you are.

DIRK: But, in the way that doesn't mean anything and doesn't matter,

DIRK: Not particularly.

DAVE: ...

DIRK: Anyway, that's...

DIRK: All my "stuff", with respect to your other self.

DIRK: Again, there's a lot more I could say about him.

DIRK: Maybe stuff you should know, or maybe it's all irrelevant to the path you're on now.

DIRK: Regardless, I'd be more than willing to answer any questions you have about him.

DIRK: Or, anything really.

DIRK: Feel free to ask me whatever, ok?

DAVE: ...

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i

DAVE: ill have to think

[alinktoana]

local elderly girl sells stickers at a japanese food festival

not gonna lie, the entire experience is very emotional to me and it's been a month but moon channel's vid essay about cool japan, and the release of smt5 vengeance (lol) inspired me

tldr: i made some stickers, got real existential about it, will keep making more c: if youd like to check them out, here's a link

ive always wanted to draw, i used to say i was gonna become a painter or a fashion designer when i grew up. none of that happened, but i did go to film school. my final project was a script for an animated short highly inspired by nbc hannibal, majora's mask (i know, it was 2016, it makes sense to me lol) and a huge loss in my life from which i havent fully recovered, 10 years later.

the point is, ive always been art adjacent but i never really drew, until i got inspired by_hannibal itself_, noel fielding, kylux (LOL) and a roommate who was who was really inspired by art youtubers like frannerd and drew around the house, so i picked up a pencil and started drawing hannigram fanart bc i was so insanely in love with that show lol i remember who i was before i drew. i spent my days reading and watching tv, bc i love stories and stuff, but i was a consumer. and once i got a job after college i felt so incredibly isolated and directionless. do i have a direction now, as i work as a """"designer""" for a company that sells a mental health app? no. but like demifiend was force fed a magatama and got demon powers (LMAO BEAR WITH ME I JUST BOUGHT SMT3 HD REMASTER), i caught the art demon (like steven zapata says). and i caught it bad. i spend my day to day rushing through my work and chores and everything so i can have enough time to draw in the evening, to do whatever, and sometimes the need is so immense i cant do anything bc im not good enough, my skills are fading, im worthless, what's the meaning of all this? so i took a chance and showed my work at an arts alley on a japanese food festival i was helping organize. mind you, i was juggling that with my 9/5, promoting the event, finishing drawings from years ago. and when i got there, nobody got it. people looked at the stickers and didnt recognize the characters, and went on to buy the stickers my friends had that were more current. it was all japanese fanart. we were there with the single purpose of baiting weebs like us lol

ive always dealt with clients, im used to this. but im used to business to business, bc sigh i am a corporate girly. and im a beginner in the demon arts of arting. i felt so ashamed people were preferring other people, that i had the audacity to think i was worth anything. but i stood there, standing still with my brain boucing off my skull wanting to leave but also enjoying the experience and hoping someone, anyone would get it. and some people did. to my surprise, jack frost was my best selling sticker, lol. jack frost, from the smt franchise, a franchise im so new to but i love so dearly. im 100% a poser, ive never finished a megaten game. but… it just speaks to me. and thats where my cool japan feelings come from bc, like i said, i was selling at a japanese food festival. people my age, from the country i come from, were exposed to dragon ball and cardcaptor sakura from birth. and learning about history and the atrocities of the japanese empire is just. who can you trust. but ive aways resonated with one thing from japan, and it's the way they portray sadness in their works. it's become a ritual since last year that i will listen to smtv's ost when im on my period bc it literally brings me back to life. no one but i know how many times ive drawn goro majima and taiga saejima bc their mere existance and their sorrow resonates with me so immensily and i dont wanna see them being sad, nor do i wanna see me being sad. it's. it's really difficult to be to admit that im from brazil, bc our country sells happiness as an export but for many, many years the most popular genre is butthurt country music, and it makes sense, you know? people dont wanna admit they're sad. and i can only imagine what it's like for regular japanese people, bc we (i) get to see their big exports of bittersweetness… i dont know, maybe other people get to see that from brazil too, i dont know. the arts in brazil, or specially where i live, it's just isnt in the cards for us. but ill keep trying, you know. and i know fanart is a hack. but im trying. despite everything and everyone wanting us (me) to work for mining/metal/oil companies, make the most money, have the least health, drink all the alcohol (but call an uber), consume, reproduce and die, i. i just wanna draw tiny people, you know. it's. not that big a deal. all this to say that yes im gonna keep drawing and making stickers and, who knows, you know. these are stickers that i wont ever find near me, or that im too broke to get them from artists/official stores, so if youre like me, here's some pdfs in case you wanna print them and stick them wherever c: ty if you got this far, this is a big ramble… but it's been years in the making and despite everything im happy about it c:

[thepaladinstrait]

🍀 + 🧡 for the queer asks <33

🍀- what thoughts or emotions that didnt make sense to your past self make sense now that you know youre queer?

definitely my gender dysphoria is my biggest one, easy. that feeling of displacement is really hard to understand and explain and put a name to, especially without knowing anything like being nonbinary or trans even exists. the moment i found the word nonbinary and someone used they/them pronouns for me, it was kinda like everything just slipped into place, i guess. i still have dysphoria, its always there, but the feeling can get stronger or weaker depending on what i do or wear or what people call me, and when someone first used they/them the feeling (i now know is dysphoria) eased a bit and then i realised oh. wait.

🧡- how has the way you presented yourself (ex. clothing, hairstyle, etc.) changed since you realised you were queer?

it didnt, really! i still present very femininely (not fully by choice), but i cut my hair a few weeks after i came out to my parents three years ago as a show of rebellion and its grown out since but i can style it to be more androgynous, and i wear the school pants or shorts in summer most days rather than the dress or skirt, though i own both

ask game

[silenceoftheman]

3 Sisters

Today was a best day of my life-. So many cool things have happened and a revelation was made. Something has enabled me to truly SEE. The world has COLOR and it always has.. But the distinction between GREY and COLOR is clear. I met another one like me. Now- a couple. Maybe always was; but now is seen. The image with this one is so clear that it has allowed me to truly ENJOY. The splendors of our material physical world are more than just touch and see- it's FILLED with emotion and LOVE. Today i was reminded about the JOY i felt with my sisters as a younger child. We were incredibly close, but father insisted i stop hanging out with them by the age of twelve for twisted reasons that one wishes no one would ever think. FAMILY is the most important unit in existence. I'm going to make up the lost time with them. So i threw a pow wow party.

A pow wow- a surprise gathering for us siblings- has almost never happened due to the parentals. But tonight they were gone, so i threw one: and they all joined! It was so fun. I bought a bunch of little finger foods and got people their favorite items. I was worried that i didnt know them enough. Then we played this game called something like 2 on 2 on the switch.

One of the games was about family traits- a game which you see who knows who the most- which showed me the truth. I nailed the "99% youre sure you got this answer" every round! I got every trait correct about all of them. I'm very observant but never realized that I have discovered who they are throughout our experiences. The feeling after words was sublime.

They all thanked me for throwing the pow wow. I never expect compliments from people but lately i have been getting more than usual. It does fill me with genuine joy that people think so well of me now. I just know that in the future if anything happens we will have this to look back on so that we know we will always be there for each other.

[magicalmyu]

okay fuck it we ball, star of eden: welt lore analysis brought to you by magicalmyu, welt joyce #1 fan self proclaimed

(image from discord bc the ingame version wont fit into one screenshot)

so here's the lore from the star of eden pri-arm! the base form, star of eden: anti entropy, has lore meant to represent welt yang. but star of eden: world is all about everyone's favorite pathetic herrscher, welt joyce.

The youth was born in the void, where truth and lies simultaneously hovered around him.

funny story about this line, it used to drive me insane before chapter 33 explained it. before chapter 33, joyce's origin was very vague, there were implications that he just. didnt exist prior to the first eruption but we never got a proper confirmation until recently!

in bronya's words, "the consciousness known as Welt Joyce did not exist in this world prior to the first eruption." hes sort of similar to elysia and the herrscher of sentience (you could argue somewhere in between?), where he was a being born from honkai itself, rather than a human corrupted by the honkai. still, there are some vague connections between him and karl gustav, einstein's former teacher and psychologist, but honestly i dont feel like explaining all of that rn. curse you honkai moon arc and your unnecessarily confusing writing.

Despite that, he always smiled at the world, picking up broken fragments of souls from raging fires and abandoned ruins again and again.

this is just a first eruption description. he collected the fragmented souls and thoughts of the 300k victims of the berlin eruption, again and again, knowing that it was all in vain. he wanted to be a hero but he couldn't. he wanted to bring them salvation but he was not a savior. the "he always smiled at the world" line is also something id want to point out, brings another parallel to elysia. there may be some significance in how he was the first herrscher to choose humanity after elysia, making him the first recipient of her blessing. i hate this game frfr

The courageous butterfly finally escaped its destiny.

oh boy! i think there's a double meaning!

the obvious first meaning is the connection to the first eruption. "the butterfly fell on your fingertips. you repaired its wings." the butterfly escaped death thanks to joyce, yada yada

second meaning makes you look deeper. i could argue that the butterfly here could represent joyce himself, the "courageous butterfly" who escaped his destined path as a herrscher to fight for humanity. butterflies also represent rebirth (possibly going back to his connection with karl but again thats very vague) and new beginnings (joyce "starting anew" after meeting ein and tesla)

i think it wouldn't be too far fetched to say joyce could be represented by this butterfly, bronya did compare joyce to seele back in chapter 28 so maybe im not completely insane

The world told him, "Perhaps even you have forgotten how kind you truly are."

heres another line that dealt high emotional damage to me. you know i was going crazy trying to figure out what that quote meant only to reread the ae vn randomly one day and. and its just a quote from ein. its just from ein.

this is a fan translation, so its not consistent, but i actually went to check the chinese version of the lore description and visual novel, and its actually word for word! this line also calls back to the line "he always smiled at the world" from earlier, in a way. as for "The world told him," this could have multiple meanings

ein was welt's "world" - the most obvious explanation. makes sense considering ein was the one who gave him his name and his first "real" friend

ein represented welt's "world" - similar to number 1 except less direct, imo this is more likely. ein, a human from "the world" said this to welt, a herrscher and outcast of the world

this is a mistranslation, the correct translation is "The one who called him the world told him," - also one of the most likely ones, according to a japanese user on twitter, this should be the correct translation, but im not sure if this is how its actually translated in jp. this one's a lot more direct and obvious, ein literally called him the world

now onto the skill names

first skill: Freedom Trail

ein, tesla, and joyce first found the star of eden after following the freedom trail and listening to HA. pretty straightforward

second skill: Ulysses

it may be pretty well known that welt got his name from ein, but tesla was actually the one who gave joyce his last name! she based it off of James Joyce, author of Ulysses. fitting for a bookworm like joyce, haha

third skill: Danny Boy

ohhhh this one hurt. oh i got so caught off guard by this one. i had to process it for multiple minutes when i saw it. it seems humorous out of context but i swear its sad

in the visual novel, an old folk song called "oh danny boy" pops up a lot. its a song sung by karl and emma to ein and one of the last memories ein has of her old friend karl. joyce himself also knew the song, likely bc of his connection to karl, and he and ein sung it together in this very nice scene between them. wow it really hurt when they called back to that moment,,,,

alright, i think thats everything! man this weapon's lore still makes me really sad. but i hope i covered everything, and if anyone has anything to add then please do! id love to see what others thought of this weapon

[narwhalandchill]

the narwhal and/or childe >:)

where do i even start. my beloved. dearest. just an innocent lovely piece of the vast cosmos. a beautiful creature thats done nothing wrong ever in its life. is it such a crime to be hungry??? to be starving???? looking for a snack perhaps?? are french people really that important in the grand scheme of things?????? 🤔

anyway. like just the fact that this is genuinely the most stunning design this game has ever made for a non-human creature in terms of both visuals and audio (HAVE YOU HEARD IT TALK!??!?!?!?!?!??!! the whale calls the sonar clicks that one borderline growl-like sound at the very beginning of the boss fight its just??? oh my goddddddd). the narwhal is just genuinely breathtaking on that front alone. the boss fight design kinda sucks bc its just swimming away from u all the time i admit that its kinda just wenut but cunty but. i do adore just. watching it move its so ethereal 😭😭

and then theres the small tidbits of lore we have for it and its connection to childe when like. i have an Incredibly specific achilles heel for this kind of eldritch being (utterly alien but nonetheless not malicious in its true intent; simply comprehending the world at a completely different scale than the small creatures that fall on its path) and ESPECIALLY any sort of destined link and bond between such creatures and a mortal and like. this trope has been a thing for YEARS for me. and then its fucking happening for the character thats been the most rent free for me in all the time ive played genshin????? oh yeah its so fucking over im in love with the narwhal. like its creating a world!??!?!?! its creating an entire world inside its stomach!???? to create a world it could protect from the cold unfeeling universe for good???? after its entire existence has been defined by a lonely voyage through the cosmos witnessing the rise and inevitable fall of world after world??? and all it could do is weep ceaselessly for each and every one????? HELLO???????? im going to start a cult

also ngl just the sheer fact that its. well. a whale. is also just an emotional 1hko bc like that is Very much an animal where it inherently adds this weight of their sheer size and age and intelligence that makes this little human Feel things. so like. yea the narwhal has a fuckload of things going for it and thats why it just instakilled me and now its just. my beloved. if ajax is my parasocial comp het boyfriend the narhwal is my non gender specified all devouring eldritch wife yes that makes perfect sense dont question this. thank youuuuu. yes watching them beat the shit out of each other in the cutscene (and knowing it went on for 45+ days before that) was very conflicting because of that. why are you fighting we should kiss 😭 im super normal as you can see.

it does rly depress me that in the AQ the narwhals general significance was ultimately just sidelined and turned into an afterthought both in terms of what it is as an independent thinking and feeling individual as well as just. the way hoyo rly didnt expand on ajax' connection to it much at all other than introducing the barebones concept. but its STILL the good fucking food to me. its Never been just a pet to me even if to 99% of the fandom skirks words will just be forever at face value but. whatever. i will love it even more to make up for thsi injustice🥰

[zushimart]

quest spoilers below

quite literally why the hell did they do that. like why did they do that. it felt so unnecessary. like, erasing his existence from the world. i dont know whether it actually altered the timeline, and he genuinely did not do those things, or if everyones memory of the events including his own were removed and replaced with a different story. but either way, it felt like such… a copout to close his story. the most unsatisfying way to tie loose ends.

him learning about what actually happened to niwa… that WAS ENOUGH!!! like it was enough emotional manipulation from dottore to understand why scaramouche went back and killed everyone. ??? like , it felt so unnecessary to do all that.

BUT LIKE ??? oh my god. i know that it shows how scaramouche was fine with quite literally killing himself to correct his mistakes, and i understand that the quest is ultimately exploring how even if he tried to change the timeline, the events in tatarasuna could not be undone or avoided. but also… it just felt like such a freaking random, convoluted way to express that. i think it also… doesnt work to do that? because if anything, it’s like. “oh, it was going to happen anyway. even without my hand in it, it was going to happen. “ and almost CAN absolve guilt because it didnt matter what scara did or didnt do in that moment. like the evil thing he did… just didnt matter. which is awful, imo, bc the point of a mistake is that if you had not made it, things would have been different. like wtf??? like??? WHATTT ..

like, he couldve just as easily got amnesia or something after the fall. we couldve relived his experiences through him slowly remembering his past. and we couldve extended kindness to him after learning about his past. like idk the whole erase myself from existence thing had me stressed. it reminded me of that horror game soma… where people copied their consciousnesses into computers and things and it was pretty clear that where that consciousness began was a completely new person, even if it was an extension of a past person.

i was like … did we just watch scaramouche *die*. I WAS LIKE DID MY BOYFRIEND JUST DIE IN FRONT OF ME????

i would also love to know how the hell nahida was able to restore his memories. did she ever say?? i know she kept the story of scarameow, but how did she get the minute details of his life. his memories. how did she have them if everything about him was erased by irminsul. why is it even possible for some things to survive irminsul erasure. its so weird to me, like oh this was an exception. cheat code. etc. i don’t get it WREAAARGHHHARGAHRH.

this would have been such a good story of scara learning that he has worth simply by existing nd that he doesnt have to be useful to anyone and that although he may be useful to the fatui and the fatui may be useful to him , that isnt enough to substantiate a real relationship… and a real relationship is what he wants. not the worship of being a god , not the power of a harbinger, bht just to have actual meaningful connections. he did these things because he wanted to b respected, to be valued. he tried to do it through being kind , and then he tried to do it through fear. i just want him to learn to do things not because he feels indebted to you or because he needs to make up for past mistakes. not because of a ledger of give and take in a relationship.. i want him to know that he HAS VALUE SIMPLY BY EXISTING. tbey just BRUSHED PAST THATT. they just TACKED IT ON AT THE END. its literally just nahida being like “ohhh… have you tried simply Not doing that? not thinking that way???”im so f ukign . ….. shit was like cbt. The therapy AND the cock ajd ball torture.

:( childe doesnt even remember him. a kazuha & scara meeting would mean NOTHING bc kazuha doesnt even know who he is. Im sick. what tf was the point of it all. What was the point of anything. not only does he have to shoulder every mistake he made, but he has to do it alone because no one remembers. no one can offer him forgiveness, no one will recognize the change in his character and tell him that theyre proud of him for coming so far… because no one remembers. that is so evil. Im tired yall . What was the point.

[letmesleepy]

Hey Sleepy I know about Otto but what about Caroline? I've seen u tag oc tag stuff as Caroline. Who are they?

Thats Carolina ^_^ let me talk about her miserable life under the cut. Its under a cut cuz uhhhhh sensitive topics below. Also long as hell

Carolina is my fallout oc/sona/its complicated. We'll say shes an oc cuz shes only really a sona when im playin the games and when thats happening the pronouns are they/them but since its just me playing the they/themming is only in the head.

Shes in 3/nv/4 and dear god she goes through so much trauma. Shes a mute chick w huge anger issues who tries not to show it by constantly being @_@ about life. She had a tumor in her throat when she was 1 yr old, which if it wasnt removed would have traveled to her brain, if it didnt close off her ability to breathe first. She had to have surgery to have it removed, taking her vocal cords in the process.

She has a huge love for repairing tech such as computers and bots, and when she was in the vault she dreamed of being the person to maintain the water chip. But as you know f3 story she never got the chance, only ever being a pipboy repairmen (which she did enjoy but due to how isolated she was she wanted water chip job more so she could be more important and liked). She has an incredible memory too ✌.

Cuz of her mutism she had like almost no friends aside from amata + a few adults, only furthering her @_@ ing and not showing her emotions. This leads to FURTHER isolating cuz everyone just thinks shes weird. She struggles a lot w her self image due to this isolation and kids pickin on her for being mute + tall, leading to struggles w anorexia. Throughout the 10 yrs old f3 to f4 she tries to recover from this, but cuz the apocalyptic world is harsh she doesnt get well off at first, becoming an alcoholic alongside it, due to in f4 shes brainwashed/reprogrammed (cyborg from nv dlc) into believing shes a 200 yr old mom searching for her son. Not only brainwashed but had surgery to look like the original nora. This only worsens her self image problems when she realizes the truth. The reason shes brainwashed is cuz Father believes shes incredible, and due to her work in washington/vegas, believing she should take his place. Originally he thought she was a true vault dweller, having no radiation. By the time he found out she wasnt, it was too late. But he persisted anyway, still considering her determination and the charisma she would gain from nora to make her an excellent leader.

When she realizes shes actually NOT nora, and that they gave her a dead womans voice, thoughts, face, this leads to her almost going over the deep end, for a moment considering horrible things from making her anorexia worse for a sense of control to simply finding a hole to die in. But in the end she decides instead to combine her personality w noras, since nora is now stuck inside her. Nora is a "program" of sorts, existing in the cybernetic part of carolinas brain. She was scanned from the original noras head, who died during the capturing of shawn. Due to her being a corpse there were a lot of memories gone, so a lot was filled in or simply left blank. Shes a ghost of herself but she doesnt wanna die again, so she stays alive through carolina, the two becoming a new one. Carolina is now more vulnerable, with new thoughts, but in a way she finds a peace in it, feeling less lonely even if the company isnt entirely true. They ofc arent totally harmonious, at times being completely separate mentally, but they over time find this to be a good thing, always seeing things in a new way, coming up with better ways to solve things. Her only other constant company is f3 dogmeat, who stays by her side ever since they met. But that changes when she has to take care of shawn, who believes shes his bio mother. Now she has more company with him involved.

Originally carolina doesnt wanna take care of him, being very traumatized by what happened w Father, but in the end he wins her over, so they travel together. Ofc carolina tells shawn the truth, that shes not his mom. But he in the end decides it doesnt matter, that shes really cool and he wants her to be his mom. With this relief, she changes her face back as much as she can, and removes noras voice from her. Because of their new relationship, carolina opens up more, having a healthier lifestyle to set a good example, and making promises to not be as reckless in battle, cuz he worries about her :(. Over time she starts expressing herself more, still ofc sometimes @_@ but thats cuz she has apocalyptic autism and Is Just Like That. But overall she learns to laugh and actually be happy cuz she has someone to love again, and this time she doesnt let ppl step over her. As she recovers and loves, she gains more weight and becomes fat and strong ^-^ leading to her passion of engineering being more easy due to having more energy.... Not to mention the flustering attention she gets cuz shes a beefy woman in the apocalypse.

Tldr: i take yer gruff depressed middle aged man w daughter and raise you: gruff depressed middle aged woman w son. + cute doggy :)