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sunshineandaisies · 3 years

Text

Tuesday

Words: ~3.3k

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of blood/injury, a tad bit angsty?

Note: I haven’t written anything new in the marvel fandom for 4+ years now, so this is me dipping my toes back into it before I start working on new series that I have planned. And because I hate myself sometimes, I decided to write something for a character I’ve never written for, our smol bean peter. Hopefully I did okay???

A typical Tuesday for you was, well, normal.

You’d go to school, mildly pay attention in class, and do your best to stay out of whatever drama was currently overtaking the halls of Midtown High. When the final bell of the day rang, you walked home with your headphones in, playing loud music to drown out the sounds of the city. You’d get home from school, maybe have a less than healthy snack, and watch a random television program until your mom was trying to pull you away from the couch for dinner. After dinner was eaten - and the dishes were cleaned and drying, because you needed that weekly allowance money - you shut yourself in your room to work on homework and to subsequently procrastinate that homework by playing mobile games on your phone. Usually, you’d end up falling asleep with one of your textbooks open to the page you’d been in the middle of reading and with your phone slowly dying in your hand because Candy Crush was lighting up your screen and draining the battery.

Pretty uneventful, right?

This Tuesday, however, was anything but uneventful.

You should’ve known from the moment that Peter Parker spilled chocolate milk on your white top at lunch that the day was going to be anything but your typical Tuesday. It only got worse when he shoved a handful of napkins onto your chest, dabbing at the stain while stammering and blushing and being so frustratingly cute that you couldn’t bring yourself to yell at him for practically pawing at your chest in the middle of the cafeteria.

It didn’t end there.

Your locker jammed between fifth and sixth period, preventing you from grabbing the calculus assignment that you had spent hours trying to complete over the weekend and making you unable to turn it in on time. The worn strap of your backpack finally broke on your walk home from school, and you were forced to carry the heavy bag in your arms, making the limbs numb and tingly by the time you finally reached your apartment. Your mom had picked up a rare night shift at the hospital at the last minute, leaving you to fend for yourself for dinner – which, in normal circumstances, would have been fine, but the Moroccan place down the street that you ordered from had given you the wrong food and you were too hungry to call them and have the order corrected.

You figured that would be the end of it. You figured that there was absolutely no way that anything could go wrong as you spent the rest of your evening actually working on homework, sprawled lazily across your bed, and bopping your head in time to the music coming through your headphones.

Oh, how wrong you were.

It had to be nearing midnight when you were startled from your chemistry homework by the sound of banging on the fire escape outside your window. You paused your music, slightly startled and more than a little confused. Sure, there were occasionally stray cats that somehow found their way to the metal platform outside your window, and sure, sometimes those cats where assholes and pushed each other around every now and then – but this…that thump either came from a very, very large cat, or someone was outside your room.

You got your answer when a very sweaty, very tired looking Peter Parker stumbled through your window and landed face down on the floor, groaning softly. Your mouth soundlessly opened and closed, opened and closed, opened and closed as you tried to find your words, but the Spider-Man suit that he wore and the red mask clutched tightly in his hand had left you absolutely speechless.

You easily stared at him for five minutes, trying to process what had just happened. Did Peter Parker really just crawl through your window and then pass out on your floor? Was Peter Parker fucking Spider-Man? Was Spider-Man – the Spider-Man – in your bedroom? Did Spider-Man touch your boobs today?

“What the fuck?” you finally spoke, startling Peter as he looked up at you with wide chocolate eyes before panic sunk in and he jumped up to his feet abruptly, which in turn only served to startle you more and make you repeat, “What the fuck?”

“Y/N?” he asked, as if he wasn’t sure that it was truly you that sat in front of him. “Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered as he started to pace, pulling at his hair nervously. “Mr. Stark is gonna kill me.” He glanced back up you, eyes still wide. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

“It looks like you’re Spider-Man,” you countered, eyes flitting over the tight suit before focusing on the mask in his hand. “You’re Spider-Man, Peter.”

“Okay, so- so maybe it is what it looks like, but I-” He cut himself off, and you could tell that he’s struggling to explain the entire thing away. Finally, he sighed. “Okay, yes. I’m Spider-Man, but you can’t tell anyone. Please, Y/N. No one else can know about this.”

You nodded slowly, abandoning your textbook and sitting at the edge of your bed as you stared at one another awkwardly. “Don’t tell anyone. Got it. But, like… Are you- Can I ask questions?”

“Um, yeah, I- I guess.” You watched him scratch the back of his neck nervously as his checks tinted pink. “Ask away.”

“First question – why are you in my room?” It seemed like the obvious question to ask. If Peter – Spider-Man – hadn’t crawled through your window in the first place, you wouldn’t even need to ask him any questions at all.

You had to bite back a laugh as you watched his eyes widen momentarily as he finally took in his surroundings, his gaze lingering on the few photos you had of you and your friends hanging on the walls and the stack of books that sat on your desk just waiting to be read. “Your room? I, uh- To be fair, when I crawled through the window, I thought it was my room.” You opened your mouth to interject, but he continued, “I live here. Well, not here, here, but in this building. With my aunt May. We live here. In this building. I must’ve swung to the wrong fire escape.”

“Swung?” you asked, his explanation providing more questions than answers. “Like with your webs?” He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. “And you swing around the city and fight bad guys?” Another nod. “You’re Spider-Man.”

He paused, as if thinking his answer through. “Yeah.”

“This is wild,” you commented more to yourself, leaning in closer and poking at the material of his suit. He stayed completely still as you prodded the suit some more, feeling the thick fabric beneath the pads of your fingertips. You let out a short laugh and looked up at him, repeating, “You’re Spider-Man.” You laughed freely then, and the little smile he gave you was enough to make your heart pound wildly in your chest. “Don’t worry,” you assured him once the laughter died down, “your secret’s safe with me, Parker.”

You could almost feel the tension and nervous energy leave his body, and you watched as his shoulders slumped forward, finally relaxed since he first realized that you saw him as Spider-Man. “Thank you, Y/N. I know I’m asking a lot, but I- It’s really important.”

You smiled. “Don’t worry about it, Parker. My lips are sealed.” You mimed zipping your lips and locking them before throwing away the key, and it made a small burst of laughter escape his lips. “Besides, you have more things to worry about than me telling the world that you double as a superhero after school hours. Like our Spanish test in first period tomorrow.”

“Spanish test t- Shit!” You watched his eyes widen again at the reminder of the test that you both had to take in eight hours, and you couldn’t help but laugh as he quickly scrambled towards the window. Halfway through your window, he glanced back at you with a soft smile curling his lips. “I, uh- Thanks again, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome, Spider-Man.” You winked, and he was gone, crawling up the wall to the fire escape above yours. You crouched down at your window and listened for a moment longer as the sounds of Peter hauling his body over the rails of the fire escape and the opening of a different window – presumably his – echoed through the alley between your apartment building and the building next to it. Knowing that he’d be able to hear you, you called out, “Goodnight, Peter,” and shut your window.

After that night, your typical Tuesday was anything but normal.

Your mom started to regularly work night shifts on Tuesdays, and while there were no more mishaps with incorrect takeout orders, no more chocolate milk spilt on shirts, and no more jammed lockers, there was Spider-Man.

Peter was quick to realize that every Tuesday night, you would leave your window slightly open just for him regardless of how cold the autumn air outside was. Some nights, he crawled through your window as early as eight. Other nights, you didn’t see him until nearly midnight. Some nights, you would spend hours going over chemistry and calculus homework with him – because, seriously, Peter Parker may just be the smartest sixteen-year-old you’ve ever met – and discussing his latest superhero escapades. Other nights, you simply sat together on your bed, sharing candy as you talked about school, friends, family, and everything else that happened to come up in the course of your conversation.

The easy friendship you had formed with Peter had confused a few people, to say the least.

His best friend, Ned, had openly stared at you with wide eyes the first day you sat beside Peter in the cafeteria, and your friends looked at you with confused expressions before quickly following suit and taking a seat at the table. MJ – who you thankfully already had somewhat of a tentative friendship with thanks to a history project during freshman year – simply lifted her gaze to you, shrugged her shoulders in greeting, and returned to the book she was reading. Flash was quick to make a mean comment about Peter once he noticed you and your friends sitting at the table, but after you made a passing threat of sharing his Spider-Man fanfiction with the school, he scurried back to his own table with his tail between his legs.

Peter, though. Peter looked at you with such a tender expression that made your heart flutter uncontrollably in your chest and your cheeks flood with warmth as you settled into your seat beside him. You playfully knocked your shoulder against his and made a quip about Spanish class that made him laugh before falling into easy conversation with the others, though your mind never drifted far from the way that your thigh was pressed against Peter’s or the way that his pinky finger would occasionally brush over yours.

That first day you sat with Peter in the cafeteria had a domino effect. Over the course of a few weeks, you spent an increasing amount of time with Peter, both during school and outside of school hours. You walked home from school with Peter every day (or at least every day that he didn’t disappear for Spider-Man duties); you joined him, Ned, and MJ for movie nights on Fridays; and you even had dinner with Peter and May on the rare nights that you spent hours studying in Peter’s bedroom rather than alone in yours.

But the domino effect didn’t stop at just changing how you typically spent your days.

Without any warning, you found yourself falling painfully in love with the nerdy boy that lived in the apartment above yours and that masqueraded as a crime fighting superhero in the evening and on weekends (though you knew that if he were really needed during school hours, he would find an excuse to disappear from class for as long as Spider-Man was needed).

You thought about telling Peter, you really did. Every time he crawled through your window, a wide smile on his face and his cheeks tinted pink from the exertion of swinging through the city, you thought about telling him how he made your heart race in the best way. Every time his fingers brushed against your arm as you walked home or across your fingers as you sat in the cafeteria, your thought about telling him how he made your skin tingle pleasantly with just the slightest touch. Every time he appeared at your place with sandwiches from Delmar’s and spent hours on your couch watching old sitcoms, you thought about telling him how moments like that were what made you happiest.

You thought about telling Peter, but you never found the courage to speak up.

Your friendship with Peter was too valuable to risk losing it because of your feelings, and you didn’t miss the way that he would look at MJ when she wasn’t paying attention, the way that he would go out of his way to speak to her in the halls between classes, the way that he seemed so in tuned to everything that she was doing and saying. Your feelings would fade eventually, so you kept them to yourself and told yourself you were content with just friendship.

It was only fitting that it was a Tuesday night when everything changed nearly three months after Peter mistakenly crawled through your window.

Despite the December chill and the light dusting of snow on the fire escape outside your window, you left the window cracked open just enough for Peter to easily pull it open and crawl inside. It may have made your room almost unbearably cold, but it was nothing that fuzzy socks, a comfy sweatshirt, and a heated blanket couldn’t fix.

It was later than usual when Peter finally arrived, stumbling through your window when he finally managed to open and it, and it didn’t escape your notice that his fingers had left bloody streaks on the glass pane of the window.

“Peter!” You heart leapt to your throat as you scrambled from your bed to support him, and he slumped forward, struggling to stay on his feet. “Pete, c’mon. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Stabbed,” he mumbled into your shoulder. “He had a knife.”

You were not prepared for this. Absolutely not. No one had ever told you that being friends with a superhero would mean them stumbling into your apartment at two in the morning with a fucking stab wound. “Okay. Uh…” You led him to your bed, helping him lay down before scanning your eyes over his body. And just as he said, there was a large slash across his abdomen, his red suit staining an even darker red as he bled from the wound. “Shit, I- Pete what do I do? Tell me how to help you.” You tugged at his suit with shaking hands, trying – and failing – to pull the material away from his body. “How do I take this fucking thing off?”

You stepped back as his hand pressed against the spider symbol on his chest, and the suit instantly enlarged, allowing you to pull it away from his body and to bunch the material around his hips. (If it hadn’t been entirely inappropriate given the circumstances, you most certainly would have taken your time appreciating the sculpted muscles on Peter’s chest and abdomen).

You inspected the damage, your eyes burning with unshed tears and the fear you felt increasing exponentially the longer you looked at the gash that marred his skin. It wasn’t too deep, but it was deep enough to nearly send you into a panic. “We should call 911, Pete,” you told him once you found your voice, though it was still thick with fear. “I- I don’t think I can help you. I don’t know how to-”

“Hey,” he whispered, his warm hand curling around yours and squeezing reassuringly. “I know you can. I watched you stitch that pig up in biology at the end of the dissection a few weeks ago.”

“I just didn’t want to leave it cut open like that,” you defended, though you knew there was really no need to. “But a dead pig is much different than a living human, Peter. I don’t…” You took a deep breath, squeezing his hand even tighter. “I’m scared, Pete.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. I promise.” He let out a hiss of pain, his jaw clenched tightly. “Your mom has a first aid kit, right?” You nodded. “Get it.”

You did as you were told, grabbing the first aid kit from the cabinet in your mom’s bathroom before returning to Peter. You worked slowly after you had cleaned his wound as well as you could and threaded the needle. Your hands shook as you started stitching the wound back together, careful to not make it any worse than it already was. Peter hissed in pain each time you poked the needle through his skin, but he whispered reassurances to encourage you. Soon, his abdomen had been stitched together, and while it certainly wasn’t pretty and would definitely scar, it looked stable.

“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t know what I would do wi-” he began, but you cut him off.

“Don’t,” you hissed. “Do you have any idea how fucking terrified I am right now?” The tears you’d been holding back while you stitched him up finally spilled from your eyes. “Do you have any idea how much it fucking hurt to see you like this?”

He sat up on the bed, bracing himself on his elbows. You didn’t miss the way he winced in pain from the movement. “Y/N, I-”

“I’m not done talking, Peter,” you snapped, wiping your tears away with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. “I get that you’re Spider-Man, that you feel responsible to protect the city and do whatever it takes to stop the bad guys, but- Fuck, Pete! You could die!”

“But I won’t!”

“You don’t know that!” you shouted, your lip trembling as you sat next to him on the bed. You lowered your voice to a whisper and repeated, “You don’t know that, Pete. You just don’t. Tonight, you got lucky. But what if next time, instead of a knife, they have a gun, and you get shot.”

He glanced up at you sheepishly, his chocolate eyes pleading with you to stop crying. “I heal fast,” he tried to reason, but it wasn’t enough to appease you. You looked away, but a gentle hand on your cheek brought your attention back to him. “Besides, I’m pretty motivated to not die. I can’t take you on a date if I’m dead.”

You opened your mouth to argue with him before promptly snapping it shut. Did he really just say that? Was it the pain and the exhaustion talking, or did he really mean it? “Date? Did you just- What did you say?” It was definitely the pain and exhaustion talking, right? It had to be.

He leaned forward and rested his head on your shoulder, and you froze, concentrating on the way his warm breath ghosted over the skin of your neck. “A date, Y/N. Uh, if you- I mean, only if you’d want-” You giggled as he stumbled over his words, tilted your head slightly to rest atop his. The action must have soothed his nerves, because he took your hand in his and confidently said, “I wanna take you on a date, Y/N.”

Your lips curled up into a wide smile, unable to contain how absolutely giddy you felt in that moment. “I’d like that, Pete,” you told him. “But we really need to have a conversation about superhero safety.”

He laughed, but it was cut off by a groan of pain. “We can probably do that.”

And unsurprisingly, your first date was on a Tuesday.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x fem!reader #spider-man x reader #spider-man x you #spider-man x y/n #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker reader insert #spider-man fanfiction #spider-man reader insert #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction

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patrick-hockstutter · 4 years

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Modern!Bowers Gang:

Patrick:

Really into cinematography and photography of the unsettling

Never captions his Instagram posts

Goes live on Instagram a lot, even though people really wished he wouldn’t

Makes art out of dead animals or animal bones he finds

Think Banksy, but with roadkill

He’ll take some (somehow) tasteful photos of them, post them, then leave the scene there for some unexpecting bystander to find

Has a nosering (fight me)

Never uses incognito mode

If someone happens to stumble upon his search history, he’s not paying their therapy bill

He likes reading smut more than he likes watching porn

A ps4 guy

Loves spooky games like Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Until Dawn and Death Stranding

He’s not really into school, but he surprisingly reads a lot when he’s alone in his room

Only about things he likes though

Abnormal psych, criminal psych, and sometimes some zoology (u kno y)

Watches serial killer documentaries like he’s paid to

Listens to grunge, nu metal, and 80s alt

Won’t admit it, but sometimes listens to Joji

He’s not super into emo music, but he’s the only one who will listen to it with Victor (he fckn vibes to Brand New)

Ironically uses a Zune

Has an Android but lowkey wishes he had an iPhone

Doesn’t have a computer, just jailbreaks/hacks the school issued laptop

Has a black line tattooed around some of his fingers, one of his wrists, and the shell of his ear

Has a foot tattoo

Has a fucking Juul

Watches LeafyIsHere on YouTube (tell me I’m wrong)

Spends too much time on Reddit

Wears flannels, skinny jeans, and Vans (a beanie if he’s cold)

Mostly cycles through the same three or four outfits

Wears the same pair of Vans every single day

Victor:

Big into aromatherapy

He uses lavender soaps and has an essential oil diffuser in his room

Uses incognito mode to watch Vampire Diaries

A Nintendo ass b i t c h

He has the gray Switch Lite

He brings his Switch with him everywhere (yes he’s that guy)

But what else are you gonna do when you wanna ignore Patrick?

Watches conspiracy theories about ghosts, cryptids, and aliens

Also big into podcasts (mostly true crime and conspiracy ones)

He listens to them on his headphones while he takes walks or draws

Posts his drawings on Tumblr

Does art streams on Twitch when he gets really bored

Has an eyebrow piercing (but it’s a small stud one, not a ring)

Has little tattoos on his hands

Wears bomber jackets, skinny jeans, joggers, army jackets, converse, and combat boots

The boy has style okay

Had an emo phase but still listens to the music (especially Tiny Moving Parts)

The emo phase was pretty short because Henry made fun of him so much

He just fucking liked MCR and Taking Back Sunday a lot, okay?

And Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens, but he doesn’t readily admit that

Now mostly listens to new wave, synth pop, and lofi hiphop

His favorite bands are Drab Majesty and Choir Boy (look up their new album btw)

Has a black iPhone and a space gray MacBook Pro

Uses Apple Music

Vapes, but only fruity flavors

Watches BoJack Horseman

Doesn’t really eat fast food but never passes up an M&M McFlurry

Paints his (and Patrick’s) nails black

One time Patrick caught him doing a facemask, so Patrick put one on and started chasing him around screaming as a joke

Cue: hmm… this feels kinda good tho

So now Victor and Patrick have secret mini spa days

Drives a Subaru

Belch:

Makes Spotify playlists like he’s paid to

He’s just really good at putting songs together

He tried to get into music theory, but he wasn’t one for actually making his own songs

Really into metal (obvi) but also likes some classic rock and punk stuff

Has records hung up side by side all around his room where the wall meets the ceiling

Still buys CDs

His Instagram feed is full of vintage cars and custom import cars

Fast and Furious is his favorite movie series

His favorite shows are Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead

But he also loves early 2000s comedies

Has a mini projector to watch movies on his room wall

Wears band tees, flannels, jean jackets, Carhartt stuff, d a d h a t s

Really wants a tattoo but always gets nervous

Uses incognito mode to watch porn and buy some of his band tees from Hot Topic

Only one in the gang that uses Facebook (Mama Huggins made him so he could keep in contact with family)

Follows a few meme pages but also some cooking ones so he can send his mom any cool recipes he finds

Victor lowkey makes fun of him for actually using the Facebook page

Invests money in really good headphones and car speakers

Has a black iPhone

It’s always at 20% battery cause it’s always connected to his headphones, Bluetooth speaker, or car stereo

Him and Victor FaceTime when they’re bored

Sometimes they won’t even say much, they just like the over the phone company

Doesn’t smoke, but sometimes hits Vic’s vape

A social vaper if you will

Watches Idubbbz and Filthy Frank on YouTube

His favorite fast food place is Wendy’s

Not really into video games but fucking slays at Guitar Hero

And when Rock Band came out nobody saw him for like two weeks

Has a black Hydroflask with band stickers on it

Henry:

He plays a lot of Xbox

Mostly Halo, COD, Destiny, any first-person shooter really

Baits people on Xbox Live cause he thinks it’s hilarious

He’s also a fucking cyberbully but we all expected that

Has Victor’s old iPhone

Never fucking charges it

He’ll text you back in 3-5 business days (if at all)

And if you try to call him he’ll block your number

Plays iMessage games like cup pong and 8 ball with Belch

The only social media he uses is Snapchat and Tinder to look at girls

In one of his Tinder photos he’s holding a fish (srrynotsrry)

Doesn’t really listen to too much music

He doesn’t dislike music, just usually prefers to do things in silence

His mind is chaotic enough, he doesn’t need background noise

But he will listen to Cigarettes After Sex and TV Girl on a really low volume when he goes to sleep

Uses incognito mode to pick and choose random soft or angsty songs that he likes to put into a bedtime playlist

Otherwise just listens to whatever Belch listens to

Has a tattoo on his wrist

Takes a lot of drives into the countryside/national forests/mountains with Belch

Takes a lot of scenery photos, but never posts them anywhere or shows anyone except Victor

Still smokes cigarettes (he thinks vaping is douchey)

Watches South Park and American Dad

If he’s willing to spend money to go see a movie, he’s going to an IMAX theater

Sometimes he likes 3D, but most of the time it just hurts his eyes after a while

Longboards everywhere

Needs prescription glasses but refuses to wear them

They’re mostly for reading, which he doesn’t do anyway

But he does listen to audiobooks sometimes

Likes Frappuccinos but will kill you before you find out

He orders them through Uber Eats under a fake name so nobody will find out

BONUS: all four!

Victor still has his childhood GameCube that they play Mario Party, Mario Kart, and Melee on

Henry is banned from playing Mario Party after breaking a controller while beating Patrick with it

Patrick only ever picks Waluigi in Mario Kart and everyone is sick of it

When they play Rock Band Patrick is on bass, Henry plays guitar, Belch absolutely slays the drums, and Vicky boy sings his lil heart out

One night a week they order a shit ton of Dominos and make a drinking game out of watching Vine compilations

Victor does everyone’s birth charts

They collectively made a fake Tinder account on Patrick’s phone and catfish guys with it

They all try to one up each other doing vape tricks yikes

They buy bags of chips and candy from Costco and lounge around eating them on weekends

They’re banned from the city metro busses because Belch’s car was in the shop for a week and that week was hell for every bus driver in the city

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friendofhayley · 4 years

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It’s that time again! Thank you to all the fandom content creators for your art. Here are the best fics I read this month, and they’re all masterpieces. This rec includes 12 fics from the Teen Wolf and One Direction fandoms. The starred ones have made me forget my worries for a moment.

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

1. He’s…something by @acountrygirlsfun | shapeshifter Stiles - miscommunication - Derek doesn’t know how to show emotions - secret relationship - 22k

Stiles has to admit, keeping his secret under wraps is easier than he expected around his new-found werewolf friends.

Except for the Alpha that is never where he should be.

2. I Wanna Let Go And Know That I’ll Be Alright [orphaned] | bad Scott - healing - pre-Sterek - post-S5A - 21k

When Scott tells Stiles to ‘take a step back’ from pack life, Stiles takes it as an invitation to get his life back on track - sans the supernatural.

3. When the Universe Comes Knocking (It’s Polite to Open the Door) by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | high school crushes meet again! - oblivious boys - just KISS - secretary Stiles - 135k

It was like a door he’d nailed shut in his brain suddenly exploded open, all of his past confusion and anger and hurt and adoration flooding out at once. Stiles? Was it actually Stiles?!

Stiles, the guy he’d had a crush on for fucking years growing up. The guy who’d been an absolute dick to him their whole last year of high school.

The guy who’d told him he loved him in a dirty men’s bathroom on prom night while drunk and upset because he thought Kira was Derek’s girlfriend.

4. Your Love is Like an Ax to the Face (or, Plundering Hearts: Viking Edition) by @ghost-of-erica-reyes | college au - as slow burn as a 16k fic can be - enemies to friends to lovers - oblivious boys - 16k

In which Lydia is a ruthless walking fortune cookie, Scott is exposed to the relationship-curing potential of ménages-à-trois, and more importantly, Stiles is convinced he’s pissed off the wrong deity in Valhalla because the closest thing he gets to action is the weekly — and deadly — debates he has with his grumpy TA from History 201: Introduction to Vikings. All of this to Erica’s enjoyment.

Urgh, college.

5. I don’t need any help to be breakable (believe me) by @myhyperheart-alone | amnesia - so much fucking angst with a happy ending - mutual pining - therapy - 35k

“He tried to kiss me.” “We know”, Scott says, placatingly, and Stiles rounds on him, fists clenched and eyes blazing. “No. No, you don’t”, he spits, “You have no idea.”

In which Derek has an accident and doesn’t remember anyone except Stiles.

6. *Ardently* by redpenny | regent au - chubby Stiles - disabled Derek - this is SO cute!!! - 13k

Mr Stilinski contends with the loss of his family’s funds, an unfortunate predilection for pastries, and an inconvenient attraction to this Season’s most eligible bachelor.

Lord Hale contends with a reluctant return to Society, hiding a war injury from meddling sisters, and the trials of courting a thoroughly oblivious young man.

7. *Puzzle Pieces* by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | can y’all believe the same author got 2 fics on here? I’m sorry for the notifications - and they were mates omg they were mates - ski resort - the boys are bad at communicating #surprise! - 89k

“Okay.” Stiles glanced at his phone, wincing at the battery being close to ten percent. It was probably time to call Scott. Turning off the flashlight, mostly to save battery and kind of freaking out over how dark it was—though the half-moon reflecting off the snow helped a bit—he opened his contacts with shaking hands and scrolled through to Scott’s name. Once he hit it, he put the phone to his ear, looking around, and froze.

The phone rang in his ear, but his eyes were locked on something big and moving through the trees.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

Larry (One Direction)

8. oh we’re in love aren’t we by @eeveelou | Harry is a trans man - college au - Harry is quirky and Louis loves it - so much fluff - 20k

Louis is trying to get through his second year of university while dealing with his three stupidly loud and stupidly in love roommates, a series of boring classes, and his job working the graveyard shift at his campus’s favorite drunk food shop. Harry is new to town and looking for somewhere to live when he finds a long-abandoned apartment that brings him right to Louis’s doorstep.

9. *a bright future behind you* by @socomicallygay | Orange is the New Black au - girl direction - there is a zourry threesome moment - this fic is hot hot hot and sweet sweet sweet - 12k

Orange is the New Black AU. Louis fucks a lot of people, Harry eats a lot of ass, Niall will smuggle a dildo to whomever gets more play, and Zayn thinks Harry and Louis should just make out already.

10. Say It First by rearviewdreamer | this so fucky angsty with a happy ending it had me yelling at Harry - groundhog day time travel - high school au - domestic fluff - 25k

When it comes to Louis, Harry feels like he has spent a lifetime getting it wrong, but on a chance night together where time mostly seems to be on his side, he gets the opportunity to try it all again. And again, and again, and again in an attempt to finally get it right before it’s too late.

11. A Real Work of Art by @lululawrence | high school au - childhood friends Larry - Harry is Marcel and soo oblivious - pure fluff - 11k

“I don’t understand,” Liam said for probably the fiftieth time in ten minutes. “You have to explain again how this is a bad thing.”

“Leeeeyummm,” Harry whined into the phone as he leaned his head onto his desk. “I felt like this year was my year for getting his attention, you know? That senior year I would finally get Logan Thompson to realize I exist! But he’s in almost every single one of my classes, Li. How am I supposed to survive that?”

“Easily,” Liam answered, with the same matter of fact tone his voice always took when Harry was in one of his fits. “He doesn’t know you exist, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Right?”

12. *gorgeous (it makes me so mad)* by resurrectdead | aaaaa Louis is such a scruff soft bad boy in this? like how he is in real life?? I’m dead??? - barista au - Clifford is the best wingdog - sexual tension - 29k

Harry’s a coffee barista with nothing really going on for him except for the occasional flirting with, some, particularly hot male customers. But when a new guy starts coming in, he suddenly doesn’t know what to make out of any single situation anymore.

#monthly fic recs #sterek #larry #teen wolf #fic rec #one direction #mine #larrie hijinks #monthly reads

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niniblack · 4 years

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As yet untitled Star Wars once upon a time au...

Yes, you read that correctly. Sorry, if you’re waiting on the next chapter of the boyfriend experience. I’ve reverted back to high school and started writing Star Wars prequel time travel modern AUs instead. (The next chapter of TBE is in the works, it’s just angsty as hell so...)

I’m posting this to gauge some reaction because I don’t know many SW people and I haven’t written for this fandom since I was literally in high school, so I’m very rusty. James is Anakin, obv. It helps if you’re at least familiar with the concept of Once Upon a Time (wikipedia has all you need), but that’s really all you need to understand this.

- - -

James decided to treat himself to a glass, or perhaps two, of nice whiskey that evening. It was his birthday after all. They were meant to be special. Even if he’d spend the day working, and was now spending the night alone, for who even knew how many years in a row now.

He’d barely taken a sip when there was a knock on his door.

He hadn’t ordered anything and wasn’t expecting anyone, so was surprised when he opened the door to find a kid standing in the hallway – a mop of blond hair; jeans, a t-shirt with a cartoon on the front, and a nice looking jacket; clutching one strap of a backpack over his shoulder.

“Are you James Smith?” the boy asked.

“What are you selling?” James asked.

The boy frowned. “Nothing,” he said. “I’m Luke.” He waited a moment, looking up at James with wide blue eyes. “I’m your son.”

James wasn’t sure he’d ever been speechless before, but he felt it now. He tried to say something for what felt like a full minute before managing, “I don’t have a kid.”

“Yes, you do.”

James frantically tried to recall what he’d been doing… ten years ago? The kid looked around that age. He’d been 23 and… in the hospital, for six months out of that year. “I don’t think so.”

The boy – Luke – looked annoyed. He shoved past James, into the apartment, and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. “My mom’s name is Paige Nadler,” he said over his shoulder. “You probably don’t remember her though. Or don’t remember that name.”

Paige? James didn’t think he’d ever dated a Paige. “You got the wrong guy, kid,” he told him, letting the door fall shut and following Luke inside. “Where are your parents? How did you get here?”

“You’re my parent,” Luke said. He’d perched himself on one of the kitchen stools. “And I took the bus.”

“From where?”

Luke was spinning around on the stool, letting his backpack drop to the floor, as he surveyed the apartment. “You live by yourself?” he asked.

“Yes,” James said. “Look, you can’t just barge in here and claim I’m your father. I’m not. I’m gonna call someone to pick you up.”

“Not the cops!” Luke was suddenly frantic, jumping off the stool and running over to James’ side to reach for his phone. James held it up out of reach. “Please don’t! I just wanted to meet you!”

James frowned down at him. “I didn’t say I was calling the cops.” When Luke didn’t say anything, he asked, “What’s your mom’s number?”

Luke shook his head. “You can’t call her.”

“Why?”

“She doesn’t– She’s not–” Luke’s face twisted up, earnest. “You can’t call her.”

“I’m not who you think I am,” James told him, trying to say it gently. It probably didn’t come out that way, because Luke’s eyes were suddenly shiny with unshed tears, and unlike when people tried to use tears to get out of paying him, this time it made James feel awful. “I’m sorry, really. But I’m not your dad. It’s a pretty common name. And it’s a big city. You just got the wrong apartment. I’m sure you’ll find him at the next one.”

“How do you know I’m wrong though?” Luke demanded.

“I–” James paused. He… didn’t, actually. But surely he would know if he had a kid out there. The mother would have told him about it, wouldn’t they?

Luke leapt upon that pause. “See! You don’t know for sure. You could be my dad.”

“If that’s the logic you’re using then the old guy at the end of the hall who smells like piss could be your dad.”

“But we look alike,” Luke argued.

And he did have him there, James had to admit. They had similar coloring, and the same cleft chin. Luke was looking up at him hopefully now, and James sighed. “Lots of guys out there with blue eyes and a dimple.”

Luke sighed too, shoulders slumping.

“Where do you live?” James asked. “I’ll take you home myself instead of calling anyone, okay?” He kind of wanted to meet the kid’s mom, just to see if he did recognize the woman. Unlikely, but worth a shot.

Luke hesitated, but said, “Nuevo Esperanza, New Mexico.

James stared at him. “You took a bus here. From New Mexico.”

“I looked up how much Uber was but it was really expensive,” Luke offered, as if that was a good explanation.

- - -

The gps calculated the drive back to Luke’s hometown in New Mexico at nine hours and thirty-five minutes, and that was with no stops. Which should have been when James saw sense and called the cops to come get this wayward child and deal with him, rather than continuing to handle it himself.

But then he thought of the panicked way Luke had begged him not to. And, honestly, James had no desire to talk to police in even the best of circumstances. Luke still staunchly refused to give up his mother’s phone number, insisting that she couldn’t be contacted. So, it looked like it was up to James to take the kid home. To fucking New Mexico.

James had to sleep before embarking on that, so he set Luke up on the couch with a pillow and sheet and spent the time before he fell asleep hoping the entire encounter had been a weird dream, and that when he woke up the kid who may or may not be his wouldn’t be in his living room anymore.

No such luck.

“Can we stop at Taco Bell?” Luke asked the next morning, once they’d cleared town and gotten into Arizona.

“Do you see a Taco Bell?” James gestured with one hand to the barren desert scrub around them.

“I mean, at the next town.”

“The next town is not going to have a Taco Bell.”

Luke was quiet for half a mile. “McDonalds?”

They were about an hour into New Mexico when Luke asked to stop for probably the third time. There wasn’t a rest stop for miles, and when James suggested just pulling over to the side of the road Luke had turned to look at him with an expression of utter horror on his face. So James found himself driving twenty over and passing trucks with barely enough clearance to get them to the next rest stop before the kid burst. Luke took off running before the car had even come to a full stop.

James twisted his head to the side, trying to crack his neck. And realized that Luke had left his backpack behind. It was the first time he’d seen him let go of it since he’d arrived last night.

He was intending to look for Luke’s phone, and hopefully find it easy to unlock with a contact labeled Mom in plain sight, so he could finally call the woman and confirm that he wasn’t being led on a wild goose chase. It didn’t feel like Luke was lying, but as much as the kid talked he managed to not say anything substantial, and James usually had a good sense for these things. Something was up, beyond whatever had made the kid take a two day bus trip to track him down.

The phone was not easy to unlock. Luke had face I.D. and his passcode wasn’t any of the obvious ones James tried before nearly getting locked out. He dropped the phone back in the bag, and dug around for what else Luke had with him. A spare set of clothes – not that he’d changed into them this morning – a battery and charging cable for the phone, and something hard wrapped inside a t-shirt at the bottom of the bag.

James pulled it out. It was some kind of silver, cylindrical toy, though he had no idea what it was supposed to do.

“What are you doing?” Luke demanded, voice high. He’d left the passenger door hanging open in his mad dash for the rest stop, and was staring at the contents of his bag spread out across the seat in horror.

“Going through your stuff.”

Luke was stunned into silence by the honesty.

“What’s this?” James asked, waving the toy in the air.

“Careful!” Luke reached for it.

James handed it over. “What is it?” he asked again.

Luke bit his lip. “It’s a lightsaber,” he said, emphasizing the word. He was watching James closely, waiting for god only knew what.

“Is that from Star Trek?” James asked.

Luke’s mouth fell open. “What? No!”

James raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s–” Luke seemed at a loss for words, knuckles white around the lightsaber. “It’s yours.” He said, holding it back out.

James shook his head. “I don’t want your toy, kid.”

“It’s not a toy,” Luke argued. “And it’s yours. Look.” He changed his grip, holding it with two hands, and did something that made a bright blue-white beam of light spring forth from one end. The air was suddenly filled with a buzzing noise, like an electric grid. It grated against James’ senses like nails on a chalkboard.

He clambered out of the car, staring across the roof of it at Luke. “What is that thing?”

Luke’s mouth was set in a stubborn line. “Your lightsaber.”

“It’s a toy.”

Luke glanced around, then took a few steps toward the handicapped parking sign near them and raised the… James wanted to say blade, for some reason, but it wasn’t a blade. It was a child’s toy. An overpowered glow-rod.

It sliced through the metal sign in a clean sweep.

James blinked at it. Blinked again, forcefully. The sign was still sliced in half, and smoking slightly. He stepped toward it. The metal looked melted along the edge.

“What the fuck is that thing?” he demanded.

“I told you,” Luke said. “It’s a lightsaber. It was yours. You just don’t remember.”

“I’d remember if I owned a movie prop that expensive,” James said.

“No,” Luke insisted. “It’s your lightsaber. Your name isn’t James, it’s Anakin. Anakin Skywalker. And you’re my dad.”

James stared at him for a long minute. This was… worse than he’d thought. “That’s just a movie, Luke.” Was the kid’s name even Luke, or had he pulled that from the movie too? James hadn’t actually seen Star Wars, but Luke Skywalker and lightsabers managed to bleed into the general pop culture well enough.

“It’s real,” Luke insisted. “This is real.” He waved the lightsaber, and the blue light made a swish through the air with a swooping sound, the color blurring.

“And you think that I’m… Anakin,” James said.

Luke nodded.

“And your mom?”

“Her name is really Padmé,” Luke said. “She doesn’t remember either. No one does.”

James wasn’t even sure what to say to that. Luke was starting to sound delusional. He was saved coming up with something as Luke launched further into his explanation:

“It’s the whole town,” Luke said. “Time is frozen. No one ever ages or leaves or anything. The Emperor used the Force or something and sent them all here and now everyone is trapped and can’t remember who they used to be.”

“The Emperor used the Force to trap a bunch of Star Wars characters in a town in New Mexico where no one ever ages and they can’t remember being Star Wars characters?” James asked, trying to wrap his head around Luke’s delusion.

“Yes!” Luke said, looking excited for the first time in this conversation. “Well, except for me and Leia. We age. But I think that’s because we were born here.”

“Leia?”

“My sister.”

“Oh, right.” James nodded. “That’s, uh…”

Luke’s face fell, and he turned off the lightsaber, holding it loosely in one hand. “You don’t believe me.”

“I didn’t say that,” James said.

Luke shook his head, staring at a point on the ground between them. “You didn’t have to. No one believes me.”

James felt too tall all of a sudden, standing over him. He crouched down, trying to catch Luke’s gaze. “Hey. I’m taking you home, aren’t I? I’ll talk to your mom and we’ll figure this out, okay?”

Luke scoffed, but didn’t look up.

James tried a different tack. “It is a cool lightsaber.”

That got him watery blue eyes peering at him from under the too-long bangs.

“Let’s get going again and you can tell me how it works.”

James stood up, and placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder to turn him back towards the car. “Come on. Faster we get going the faster you can ask me to stop for more junk food.”

Luke laughed, a little. “We still haven’t found a Taco Bell.”

“Fine, next Taco Bell it is then.”

#star wars #my fic #sw ouat au #anakin skywalker #luke skywalker #star wars fic

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kweebtrash · 5 years

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Alive (M)

Messy Chapter 5

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (Lucas, Yuta)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs/description of tripping , alcohol, sexual assault (not in explicit detail; in total about 5 sentences), toxic “relationships”, “controlling behavior” (Non consensual), physical/emotional abuse, physiological self harm/unhealthy coping mechanisms ,severe depression, anxiety, anger issues, minimal violence,

Features: Two full sex scenes/1 mini scene, Threesomes (MFF), eating out/blowjobs, fingering, rough sex, choking, a hint of daddy kink, hair pulling, biting/scratching, unprotected sex, controlling dynamics (consensual), overstimulation, edging, a smidge of bdsm dynamics and toy use, and of course not being able to make up your damn mind about your feelings.

Word Count: around 16k

A/N: So this is the first time I’ve ever written anything as serious as this. And it’s super angsty and dark and there’s a lot going on. I hope everyone still enjoys it as much as the other chapters. I felt like it was important enough to write about this and the consequences it poses as part of character building. It also carries into how the story progresses in Chapter 6, (mentions in 7) 9, 10 (tentatively) and overall how it affects Johnny as a person within this AU. (Also obvious warning but everything that happens to johnny is fictional in this story)

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

Neon lights were flashing chaotically, trying to fall in line with the choppy transitions the DJ spun. If i wasn’t so anxious I would probably push him out the way and show the crowd that I could do a way better job. But the hoard of sweaty bodies plastered together paired with the lights and the vibrating bass- everything was making me want to vomit. I had no idea why I decided to come other than that I thought this rave would help me relax but it was honestly doing the opposite. I tossed back the rest of my drink and crushed the plastic cup, chucking it onto the floor of the warehouse. I wanted to go home but I was stuck trying to keep track of Taeyong and Ten like a glorified babysitter. Once my anxiety hit and they went off in their separate ways they were lost for what seemed like forever. Now I was forced to wait for us to regroup while my heart raced a mile a minute. I pressed my head to the wall and forced myself to take deep breaths.

“HEY!” I jumped suddenly at the voice beside me. I looked over and saw Taeyong. “What are you doing all the way over here?! Why don’t you dance?” He was trying to yell over the thumping music and I could barely hear him. I gave him a confused look and instead got closer for him to shout in my ear. “You look like shit! What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing! Just not really feeling this anymore! Are you guys ready to go?”

“No way! It’s only like 2am! Besides I think Ten went to have an orgy or something! I don’t know.”

I wanted to slam my head against the wall now. Just my fucking luck. “Did he leave yet?! I’m about to ditch him and drive home!”

Taeyong just gave me a confused shrug and I was sure he hadn’t heard me clearly. “I got something that will make you feel less shitty!” He held out his hand and revealed two pills.

“What the hell is it?” I was skeptical, especially since Taeyong could be really stupid at times. It wouldn’t surprise me if he took random drugs from a stranger.

“Don’t know! Just live a little! You’re being a dick today! Eri hasn’t fucked you lately?!” He laughed before popping one pill into his mouth and taking a swig of his drink. Why was everyone always up my ass about if I fucked Eri or not? I had kept it mostly to myself but I was done with her, especially after how close we had been the last few times we hooked up. It was getting to be too much and I felt my heart and stomach do weird shit whenever I was with her. I didn’t like it one bit. The last straw was at the amusement park. I couldn’t take how good she felt riding me and even worse I couldn’t take how sweet she had been to me when I hurt my hand. It was too intimate, too wrapped up in emotions. I had left her on read for so long that it wasn’t phasing me anymore, even though I would catch her looking over at me during class. Every once in awhile our eyes would meet just for a second but that’s all I let happen.

“Shut up. I’m not being a dick! I just don’t trust random shit you bought at a rave!” He dropped it into my hand anyway and handed me the rest of his drink.

“Take it! Have fun! I’ll see you later!” With that I lost Taeyong in the sea of people. I wiped my hand over my face, sighing deeply. I pressed my back against the wall again and stared at the tiny pastel pill, mulling over my possible options. I could continue being miserable and responsible and not ditch my friends since I was their ride here or I could be irresponsible, get fucked up, forget my anxiety, all the crap I had to deal with, and become numb to every feeling I’ve wanted to ignore since the party in August. Bottoms up.

I swallowed it, finishing off the rest of the drink and letting the cup join my previous one on the dirty floor. Hopefully this would kick in soon and I wouldn’t want to die as much. Being surrounded by so many people always made me feel like I was suffocating and they were closing in on me. To distract myself in the mean time I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my Instagram feed absentmindedly. I yawned as nothing really caught my eye until I came across a video from one of Eri’s accounts. Someone, I think it was Lucas, was licking and kissing her neck in the most obscene way. She captioned it as “Baby Boy is so needy today.” I wanted to crush my phone as easily as i did the plastic cup. Why the hell did she have to post such gross shit? I tried to calm myself- there was no need to get angry. She could fuck whoever she wanted and I could fuck whoever I wanted. No strings attached, no feelings, no longing for her skin against mine, her lips against mine, or her fingers running through my hair. Nope, none of that.

I set my phone in my pocket, refusing to look at it anymore.My excuse was that my battery was only at 43% and i couldn’t risk not having enough power for the ride back home. The music was slowly starting to not sound as bad and I found myself actually bobbing my head to the beat. It was weird, like I could feel it vibrating in my bones. I started drumming my fingers against my thighs as the dance floor seemed to call out to me. I was always better at choreographed dances that anything freestyle but making a fool out of myself seemed to be a great idea now. I pushed myself off the wall and made my way into the crowd. Sticky, sweaty bodies brushed against me and instead of wanting to pull away, every touch made me explode into a rush of heightened senses. Everyone felt so good. I wanted any and every touch at all. I couldn’t help but smile and suddenly i was in a laughing fit, giggling uncontrollably like an idiot.

I felt hands on me then and I didn’t think much about it until they turned me around. A girl was in front of me now, equally as happy and smiley as I was. I returned her touches and even her kisses when she suddenly connected with my lips. I had no idea who she was and at this point I didn't really care. I grabbed onto her ass and pulled her closer, grinding my hips against her roughly. She dug her nails into my shoulders, standing on her tiptoes to reach me. I was half tempted to pick her up and hold her around my waist but she broke our kiss suddenly, bringing my attention to someone beside her. It was presumably her friend by the way they exchanged coy glances. I resumed my kiss with the new girl instead but held them both close to me. Through dancing, heated grinds, and horny kisses we made our way out of the warehouse some time later.

However, the concept of time was starting to become a mystery to me in of itself. Everything that was happening was such a blur. Colors were turning into smells that were turning into tastes. I couldn't even piece together how i got into a bed. Was it my bed? Had I even drove? My head was pounding but i found myself tangled in a copious amount of limbs. My cock sunk into whatever hole I could find, subconsciously guided by moans and eager cries. Everything felt so good I never wanted it to end. For once, in these past couple of months, my mind was on anything but Eri and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

What didn’t feel good was when I woke up the next afternoon. My head was pounding and my mouth felt like a desert. It was a struggle to even move as I felt so weak and heavy. I realized i was still in bed and there were bodies on either side of me. Slowly I raised my head and blinked my eyes into focus. Who the hell were these people? I groaned and sat up and nausea washed over me instantly. I kept still for a moment, trying not to send my empty stomach into an acidic launch of bile. Apparently my minimal movement had woken up one of the girls beside me, the one with brightly colored hair, haphazardly placed tattoos, and multiple piercings. She was stick thin but rather tall and I was surprised I had even gone after someone like her. But seeing how fucked up I must have been yesterday I guess my preferences didn’t matter. She slipped out of the bed easily, as if the drugs hadn’t affected her at all. Maybe she didn’t take any though I could’ve sworn everyone at the rave did. I could see bites littering her entire body and giant bruises across her thighs and hips. What the fuck did I do?

She had gone to the bathroom, not even so much as glancing at me. In the meantime I was trying to convince myself I had enough strength to move my legs. They felt like tingly jello and I was sure if I tried to get up I would collapse. The girl came back from the bathroom and I managed to croak out a few words. “Hey, did I drive here? Do you know where my keys are?” My voice was raspy and barely audible.

She smirked and straddled my lap, ignoring my questions. It annoyed me as I needed to know my plan of action. I also had to start thinking about where the hell was T.Y. and Ten. I wondered if they had gotten home ok and if T.Y. was as fucked up as I was. “Hey cutie.” Her light and airy voice greeted me and I looked up as her as she pushed me back onto the mattress. “You were fucking amazing last night.”

“Ah, thanks but-” She grabbed a hold of my wrists and pinned them beside my head. I tried to push her off but my body still felt like dead weight. “I-I really need to go. My friends-”

She silenced me with a kiss which i didn’t reciprocate. I started to panic, knowing with how I felt I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself. All i could do was try and protest as much as possible, moving my head away from her wandering lips while I was internally screaming for her to get off me. It was no use. My body was reacting to her touches against my will and I shut down. I returned to that oh so scary and familiar void where I was numb, swallowed up by my hurt and suffering, could ignore what would haunt me forever.

Her name was Rixi and it turned out she went to our college which meant that after the night of the rave all she did was follow me around campus. Almost every waking moment was spent with her around me though I despised everything about her being. She clung to me like glue and I couldn’t get rid of her no matter how hard I tried. My mind wasn’t as strong as I needed it to be. Regular Johnny would tell this idiot to kick rocks, but this empty Johnny couldn’t function. It was like I was having an out of body experience watching myself go day by day pretending nothing was wrong. I had to push forward even though I wanted to stay curled up in my bed all day suffering in silence. Sleep beckoned me at every moment but I was having more night terrors. The hours i actually slept were minimal and didn’t help my zombie like state. Nonetheless, I kept pushing myself, forcing myself, to work. I had to pay rent, bills, and eat, even though I wasn’t doing much of that either. I also had to turn in projects and my higher than average GPA was on the verge of sinking. Jae had to carry most of the radio show. I just read off the notes and script uncharismatically. He seemed to notice that something was off but I just told him it was a really bad stomach flu. He left it at that for now but I could tell he wanted to pry some more.

With my academic and work life in the shit, Rixi blocked off my romantic life with anyone but her. She managed to get me into a bed a few more times which i didn't understand. I didn't want her at all, in fact having sex with her reminded me of that night after the rave, but i did it anyway. I had always used sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism for shit i didnt want to deal with- it was better to feel like i was having fun and didn't care than face my problems head on. Maybe I wanted to hurt myself, psychologically at least. It would be punishment for being so stupid at the rave and probably for that entire time I ignored Eri without even giving her so much as a proper explanation as to why. She made my body feel good and everything was natural with her. She made me feel...happy. It wasn't like i was hurting myself; it was a genuine connection which scared the hell out of me.

I found myself wanting that little sliver of happiness or at least some form of stability back in my life. I wanted to pull myself away from Rixi's toxicity but it continued to drown and swallow me whole. Some days I wanted to reach out to Eri but I was too chicken shit to do it. Instead I settled for using my imagination to replace Rixi with Eri for the sake of my sanity. Every time I fucked her, kissed her, touched any part of her, I imagined the person I longed for the most. It was giving Rixi the wrong impression and I was only digging my grave deeper. In the rare times I managed to escape her death grip I tried to get my mind off of both the women that haunted my existence. I came to realize that I was using Eri too much as a crutch and losing my humanity in the presence of Rixi. Thus, i stayed within my misery.

Eventually, as if I didn’t have enough shit going on, Rixi found it completely rational to overreact over everything I did. I couldn’t look at my instagram feeds, I couldn’t create music or art because I “wasn’t paying enough attention” to her, and if I didn’t answer her texts right away she presumed I was ignoring her. Each time I messed up she landed a smack or a punch to my body, mostly my ribcage. At first I thought nothing of it. I playfully hit my friends all the time and accidentally created some bruises that I didn’t mean to but the more it happened with Rixi the more I knew that it wasn’t playful. It was malicious and starting to become painful, especially when the same spot was hit over and over. I could normally stop her when she got too out of hand but it would bring her to whine even more and make my head want to explode. There were days where I let her carry on because it was better than hearing her mouth.

I tried hanging out with my friends to create some sort of safety net. Being around them, made me feel a little better though the exchange was awkward. We we all sitting at the student center having met up for lunch. Of course Rixi found a way to follow me there, never leaving my side. The guys wouldn’t look me in the eye but they all traded whispers and uneasy glances in my direction. The normal chatter and banter we had disappeared and I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs. I sat back in my seat, scrolling through my phone which I tried to keep hidden from her view. She kept craning her neck to see what I was doing, who I was looking at, and if there were any women involved. Heaven forbid I liked any content with them. If I came across something she didn’t like all I did was apologize and try and shrug her off but her death grip remained on my arm.

“So like,” Ten finally spoke up. “Pixel-”

“It’s Rixi.” She snapped.

“Yeah, whatever. When are you gonna leave?”

“What do you mean leave?”

“Like, leave Johnny alone. You’re being ridiculously clingy. It’s not cute.”

“I’m not being clingy and I have no reason to leave my boyfriend.”

Jae spat out his drink, spraying it across the table. It landed all over Taeyong who stood up and threw a napkin at him. Yuta’s eyes went wide and Taeil’s mouth hung open. Ten instantly went on his phone, furiously typing away. They all looked at me as if they needed confirmation. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell them that I wasn’t her boyfriend and was basically trapped and couldn’t escape her. I wanted help, someone to help me get rid of her but I couldn’t ask the guys. They wouldn’t understand. I couldn’t be vulnerable around them. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Jae the truth.

“Wait...Johnny are you seriously-like seriously, serious-?” Taeil asked.

I said nothing.

“Fuck…” Yuta whispered. “That’s uh...fuck. What about Eri?”

“Who’s Eri?” Rixi practically growled.

“I’m Eri.”

My entire body shot up, frozen in place as I saw her. She had appeared behind Yuta as if we had summoned her. In reality, Lucas was with her and they were probably passing through the center to get something to eat as well. My throat closed up as our eyes met. It was only for a second because she instantly switched her glare over to Rixi. An angry aura was emanating from her and i could see her trying to keep her cool. God, i needed to talk to her before anything spiraled out of control. If I didn’t then the student center would turn into a National Geographic battleground where two head lionesses were going to tear at each other’s throats.

“Ooohhh and the drama continues!!” Ten laughed, typing again on his phone.

I went to stand up and make my way over to her but Rixi pulled me back down, her nails digging into my skin. I shot her a glare almost unable to keep my seething anger behind my teeth. “Let me go.” I hissed. She shook her head quickly and I could practically feel the bruises start to form in the shape of her fingers. Eri spoke again, snapping my attention back to her and forgetting about the pain in my bicep. It was then I noticed that she was wearing my flannel shirt. The one she had fallen asleep in when we me back from our amusement park date- well, hang out. I had forgotten it when I ran out of her room after our last fuck. By the time I had remembered that I left it behind I was already ignoring her texts and trying to put some distance between us. I even prevented myself from caving in and texting her to ask for it back. Now she was here, perfect as ever, and I still loved the way it looked on her.

“Guess I came at the right time, what are my favorite sluts talking about me for?” she said.

“Weeeeellllllll-”

“Shut the fuck up Ten.” I almost yelled, knowing that he was purposefully going to tell her about what transpired. His gossiping was going to make everything worse before I could clear the air. Every pair of eyes traded looks between me and Eri as tensions surmounted to an unfathomable level.

“Wow, rude. I wasn’t going to say anything about your girlfriend.”

And there it was. I tried not to show my irritation but my jaw was already twitching and my fists were balled up at my side.

“Girlfr-?” Eri seemed to stop herself from finishing the word. She squared her shoulders and posed a fake smile and I knew she was locking away what she really wanted to say. “Oh, i’m happy you finally found someone to deal with your bullshit. Anyway, I was passing through and I remembered that I had to drop something off to Yuta.”

“Me?” Yuta asked, surprised.

“Yep!” She opened her backpack and dumped out a plethora of rope, ballgags, and even some toys onto his lap. Yuta’s entire face beamed red and he fumbled to try and hide the stuff quickly.

“E-Eri!!!” he whined.

She just continued to smile, completely satisfied with her antics. She grabbed Lucas’ hand and turned away from our group leaving me longing for her even more. There wasn't anyway I could go after her now. I sighed and set my hea in my hands, wishing I could take back everything.

“Yongho-hyung.” I heard Jae say sternly in Korean. My head snapped up to him and I could tell he was serious. He stood up, ripping Rixi’s arm off me, and instead pulled me away from the table. “Don't you fucking dare follow us.” He hissed at her. She luckily obeyed, though she was full of annoyance. I followed Jae until we found a corner away from the hustle and bustle of student life. “What in the actual fuck, Johnny? What is going on with you? This whole month you’ve been acting weird and now you have a girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She literally just said you were her boyfriend. If you don’t like her then you need to tell her. You can’t drag this- Is that a bruise on your arm?”

I pushed my hair back and looked away from him. What I was about to say hurt my pride and made me feel so miniscule and pathetic. But I had to reach out for someone. I just prayed that Jae didn’t judge me or think lesser of me for acting this way. “I need help, man.”

Eri’s Pov

“Eri! Eri! You’re crushing my hand! Slow down!” Lucas shouted.

I was furious. More than furious. I was any and every word in the dictionary to describe pissed off. He literally left me on read for weeks and didn't have the balls to even tell me he was dating someone?! What kind of shit for brains human being doesn't have to courtesy to tell someone they wanted to end their fuck buddy relationship? My whole body felt like it was trembling. I pulled off his stupid flannel about ready to throw it into the nearest garbage can. Lucas yanked my arm back hard, making me crash into him. “WHAT?!” I yelled.

“Calm the fuck down. You're literally in rage mode and knowing you you're going to lose your cool. I don’t need that to happen, ok?”

“Do NOT tell me to calm down.” I said through grit teeth.

“Too bad. I need you to. I can take you home. I don't really think you should go to class.”

The rational side of my brain knew that Lucas was right. My anger had always been a problem, something I tried my damndest to control but when it struck, I had a bad habit of creating chaos. I wouldn't be able to concentrate in class and if anything triggered me-voices, sounds, lights- havoc would ensue. The irrational part of my brain told me to kill him. It even told me to kill that stupid little twat who thought she could swoop and steal Johnny from me. I bet she couldn't fuck him like I could, couldn't make him cum like I could, and probably couldn't even get him to stay over and cater to her heart's feelings like he did with me. I was better than her and wanted to crush her into dust under my boots.

Lucas snapped his fingers in front of me. “Eri, back to me. I know you're thinking bad stuff. Stop it. Please get a hold of yourself. Do you want me to call Quinn?”

Quinn.

No matter how clueless and endlessly horny they were they meant the world to me. They were always smart enough to talk me through my episodes and get me to realize that killing people was still illegal. It always ticked me off when they were right about the shitty ways i addressed my issues but I needed that reality check. I nodded helplessly as I felt the switch of wanting to bawl my eyes out quickly wash over me. Lucas sighed and pulled me into his chest squeezing me tight.

“We need to go. I don't need that jackass to see you like this, ok? Let's get you home.”

He kept an arm around my shoulder and guided me towards the exit of the student center as he pulled out his phone. I barely heard the conversation he had with Quinn. I was focusing so hard on trying not to shed any tears as I drove home. A man was nothing to cry over and another woman was nothing to be jealous of. It went against the entirety of my ideals but i was still screaming at the hurt. The girlfriend wasn't the reason for my anger- though it played a role in it. No, the betrayal, the absence of truth, and the overwhelming cowardice was what got under my skin.

I managed to keep my composure through the short drive back to the apartment but completely lost it when i saw Quinn already sitting in my room. I slammed the door shut and ran into their arms, practically tackling them onto the bed. With my face buried in their chest I broke into ugly heart wrenching sobs with tears as big as hail. It seemed never ending and Quinn patiently petted my head not saying a single word until I was ready. Lucas remained outside in the living room and I was sure he could hear everything. I was embarrassed now and almost wished he wasn't here but i had to at least thank him for keeping a level head while mine was about to explode.

“I just wish,” i swallowed hard. “I just wish he would've told me instead of throwing it in my face. You should've seen the way she was clutching onto him, like some...clingy, stupid, little irritating slut! Who even does that? And he just let it happen. He can't even tell someone when they don't want to be fuck buddies anymore.”

“I know, Eri. But you really can’t dwell on it. I know you had feelings-”

“I did NOT have feelings for him.”

Quinn set their hand over mine and gave me a slightly condescending look, like they didn't believe me. “Regardless,” they continued. “Men ain't shit and this just proves how much of a piece of scum he was. You are everything, Eri. It sounds cheesy to say but you're so amazing and he doesn't deserve an ounce of what you gave him.” They grabbed my hands tight and squeezed them. “One day you're gonna find someone that treats you right. Someone who you're not afraid to love and you can trust with all your heart. I know you don't really believe in love but it is going to happen to you someday. Please, just please, don't waste your time over him.”

They wiped the tears from my face before handing me several tissues. I blew my nose, over and over and wiped at my puffy face until my sobs turned into small sniffles and hiccups. Eventually I calmed down even further when Quinn pulled me back into their arms and covered me in gentle kisses. I cracked the smallest of smiles when their lips pressed against my forehead and trailed down to my nose. “You're stronger than all of this, okay? You're the one that defends us all. You're mommy and daddy.” They chuckled. “But above all you’re the best and I want to do everything I can to make you feel better.”

“Can you bury the body once I kill Johnny?” I laughed.

“Well, duh. Who else is gonna help you? Lucas? He’s dumber than I am.”

“That is true. I’m embarrassed that he probably heard me cry like a big gay baby.”

“If he says anything about it, i’ll clock him in the jaw.”

I smiled at the sentiment but couldn’t help think back to the night of the beach party where Johnny decked Matt in the face for being such an asshole. At least back then he seemed like a caring human being and I could tolerate him. I actually wanted to be with him then. Well, be around him. I had to push those thoughts away and get over what was hurting me the most. Just then, there was a knock on my bedroom door. “Is it ok to come in?” Lucas asked. I nodded and Quinn beckoned him in. He smiled and came over to my bed sitting behind me and pulling me between his legs. “Are you feeling any better?”

“A little. I stopped crying and don’t feel like taking a bat to his car so...i guess i’m okay for now.”

“Ok, I was worried for a bit there.” He wrapped his arms around my ribcage and squeezed me gently to his chest.

“Yeah, me fucking too.”

Quinn came closer to us and set their head on Lucas’ shoulder. “We could still take a bat to his car. It’s a beat up piece of shit anyway.”

I gave Quinn a little kiss before setting my head back on Lucas’ chest. “Don’t give me any ideas ok?”

They gave me another kiss holding it a little longer before realizing what they were doing. “Wait, sorry. I shouldn’t. That was terrible of me. You’re feeling like shit. I’m an idiot.”

I gave them a small shrug. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind it. Actually, feeling anything but what I’m feeling now is helpful.”

“Uh...should I leave?” Lucas asked.

I turned my attention towards Lucas, wrapping my arms around him. “No. Stay here. I owe you remember.”

“Are you sure?” He asked. He looked at me then at Quinn as if to confirm everything.

“Eri’s in charge. Whatever they say goes.Though I don’t particularly think it’s a good idea to do this now, if you really think it’ll make you feel better then...”

“Please...I’d like to forget about all this shit and feel good.”

Lucas nodded and chewed at his bottom lip. I looked up at him, giving him a reassuring smile before i covered his lips in my own. Quinn took up residence behind me, tentatively holding my hips and nuzzling my shoulders. Their dainty hands slid underneath my shirt and rubbed at my stomach before cupping my breasts. I pulled away from Lucas to lift the shirt over my head and toss it nearby. He plucked away the clasps of my bra, sliding it down my arms and letting it join my shirt. Quinn tugged at my hips this time, letting me know they wanted my attention. I smiled, always enamored by their cuteness and ability to beg for me. I turned my body towards them, and pushed them lightly back onto the bed. They were only in an over sized shirt and panties and i made quick work in pulling those away. With their body free for me to command I wrapped my lips around their overly sensitive nipples, pulling them into perfect pink peaks. A few sucks at a time to each one would already draw impatient moans from them. The tease was always part of the fun and I pulled away to retreat back to their lips for another round of slow kisses.

Lucas stepped off the bed momentarily, allowing himself more space to pull off his sweatshirt and shorts from his tall frame. He cupped my chin in his hand and leaned down for a quick kiss. “Go lower.” He whispered.

I smiled dreamily as I listened, trailing kisses down Quinn’s stomach until I parted their thighs. Lucas turned Quinn’s head towards him, rubbing the head of his semi hard cock over the outline of their lips before sliding himself in. His eyes fell closed and I watched Quinn’s cheeks hollow ever so slightly with each suck luring him to a pleasure ridden state. His head dipped back and his slender fingers buried themselves within their dirty blonde hair. It was tempting to spend all night watching them flow together so effortlessly but instead I joined in on the fun and dove my head between Quinn’s legs. They still smelled of the sweet florals of their body wash which made me smile as I covered their lower lips with my tongue. A quick gasp wrapped around Lucas’ dick which made him bite his lip and pull them closer. I drifted my tongue through the budding wetness taking in the warm taste. My lips created gentle tugs on their clit, making the tender nerves swell and garner more favored reactions from my best friend.

I felt my own heat stirring and I pressed my thighs together to try and get a bit of friction but it was useless. I let out a bit of a frustrated groan as I was starting to become hungry for attention. “Take them off.” Lucas panted in between deep thrusts down Quinn’s throat. He was referring to my leggings, which in my hazy state, I had completely forgotten about. Once I was free i returned to my all fours position, spreading my knees wide and dipping my stomach towards the bed. I was going to reach back to finger myself but Lucas beat me to it, using his long limbs and our small bodies to his advantage. His middle finger worked my slit up and down, up and down, up and down, the tip of it making small stops to circle around my entrance. I pushed back towards his finger impatiently waiting to be filled. He chuckled lower and dared to tease me further with the smallest of touches to my clit. I wiggled my hips almost mewling between my staggered licks to Quinn who seemed to notice my distraction. They pulled off of Lucas and swatted at his stomach.

“Be nice, Lucas.”

He quit his teasing then and plunged his finger in though he was pouting about it. I settled into the motion, loving the way he effortlessly slid against my walls and stroked all kinds of sins into me. I was finally able to focus my attention back to Quinn-as I was at least getting a bit of release-and moved my tongue inside them. I dove as deep as I could, burying my face into their soft skin. I gripped at their thighs, preventing them from squirming around as my nose nudged against their clit and my tongue lapped quicker. Lucas added another finger, scissoring me open before plunging back in fully. He was starting to curl his knuckles and bring out the slick sounds of my cum covering his fingers. His deep moans grumbled in his throat as Quinn’s hand flexed around his length, stroking almost in time with Lucas’ thrusts inside me. I pulled away from Quinn then, not wanting Lucas to get too eager and cum early. Instead I crawled up to their face, gently turning their head away from his cock and slid my tongue into them trading their taste for Lucas’.

“Fuck you guys are so hot.” He groaned.

“Shut up Lucas.” Quinn and I said at the same time, rolling our eyes.

“Quick question though...How you you want me to cum? Like in one of you or…?”

I shrugged. “Whatever you want. Doesn't matter to me.”

He seemed to beam with excitement until I snapped my fingers and pointed at my little box of condoms on my dresser. His ego was deflated and he begrudgingly went to retrieve one while Quinn and I laid beside each other. Our hands dove between each others thighs as we kissed, our fingers circling our clits and filling each other every so often. Lucas rejoined us on the bed, looking over us like a buffet, wondering where to start. “Don’t think about it too hard.” I teased, nudging his thigh with my foot.

He bit his lip and set his hands on my hips choosing me as his first source of pleasure. He pressed kisses into my neck with Quinn joining him. I adjusted myself beneath him, widening my legs for him to settle between. Slowly, he sunk into me, filling me with his length and making me clutch onto his shoulders. My brows scrunched just for a moment as i adjusted to the familiarity inside me. Lucas' waited, occupying himself with a few bites to my neck and deep kisses to Quinn. My hand slipped down to grip his firm ass, pulling him in for a minimal thrust. He took it as an offer to proceed and pulled out slowly. I gripped Quinn's hand, bracing myself for the harsh snap of his hips Instead, I was met with a methodical and slow plunge as if he was determined to make me feel every ridge and vein throughout his shaft.

Surprisingly enough, Lucas was the best at slow fucking and pretty attentive for a semi adult with one thing on his mind. He kept a firm grip on me, guiding me to roll back against his hips and let the tip of his cock firmly press against my walls. My head dipped back into the pillow as I closed my eyes and relaxed into a space of forgetfulness -forgetting about all my troubles and coping with the fact that I had friends who would give me everything I needed. I didn't have to rely on some fuckboy with a wannabe girlfriend. Quinn was right about Johnny and I was glad they could bring me some peace of mind along with a slice of pleasure.

Their gentle fingers were caressing my clit while their lips clamped onto my nipple. With the added attention to my bundle of nerves, i was already feeling my muscles tingling with anticipation of my release. I bit down on my lip as i exhaled softly. I could hear Lucas’ rough moans above me, secretly loving how loud and husky they sounded. My thighs clenched around his waist adding to the motion of our bodies shifting into one another. Quinn kissed their way up my neck to my ear and stumbled through asking me if they could sit on my face. I tried to stifle my giggle at their embarrassment to even ask and simple nodded. They maneuvered themselves over my chest, continuously looking back to make sure they wouldn't accidentally kick me. I assured them that it was alright and let them scoot back over my lips. I wrapped my arms around their thighs, securing them against me, before working my tongue through their folds once more. I heard them sigh softly, fading into a moan.

Lucas was mumbling under his breath, most likely nonsensical compliments about how hot we are and how he got off on girl on girl action. Quinn and I normally ignored what he said and focused on how gorgeous his body was and how quickly he could make us cum. Once he saw Quinn over me however, he picked up the pace of his slow thrusts, preferring his usual hard quick snaps instead. My toes curled against his lower spine and I felt like i was crushing his waist between my thighs. He pulled them away from him and instead pushed my legs up towards Quinn, making them hold my knees in place. I practically felt him in my stomach then, plowing away at every inch within me and making my body surge with a tingling sensation.

I squeezed my eyes tighter and tried to keep up the eager thrusts of my tongue into Quinn but it was becoming more and more difficult with the way my body bounced. Suddenly they lifted their hips up allowing me just a small space to see them pushing Lucas back to make room for their head to wedge between my spread thighs. As Lucas thrusted, Quinn licked at my clit all while nudging their ass back against me. My muscles were already clenching and building up tension until i couldn't hold back any longer. I pressed a moan into Quinn's wetness as my lower half wavered with the taxation of my orgasm.

Lucas’ pulled out slowly, a small rush of my cum following him. Quin carefully moved off of me and kissed me, smearing our tastes together momentarily before joining Lucas. I curled up in my little area, regaining my breath while the pair switched up their positions. Quinn was pushed onto their hands and knees, their ass poised perfectly high in the air to give him easy access to plunge into them. I watched with half lidded eyes as I regained my breath. It was nice to lay in the after bliss of it all even when Quinn’s loud moans and the sound of skin on skin disturbed my peace.

Eventually I felt myself getting roped into the mix again with barely any time to truly catch my breath. “You know I’m not done with you yet.” Lucas smirked.

“I was just letting you play with Quinn for a bit. Just to make my baby boy happy.” I pushed back his hair that was getting more sweat drenched by the second. “Don’t you like a thorough workout?”

“I do. So bend over.” He pushed me back down onto the bed making follow the same position as Quinn. He separated from them and slammed into me keeping firm pressure on my lower back. I bit into my pillow, burying my moans into it. Every so often i would feel him leave and switch over to Quinn who gripped my hand with such intensity I was afraid they would break it. I could tell they were close to losing it and for the sake of it all I was selfishly awaiting a second orgasm. Lucas kept the pace with Quinn for a little bit longer before alternating again. It was a tense and teasing feeling, having that desire build up in the deepest part of me then have it ripped away. Teetering right on the edge was enough to make me a begging mess and also extremely bratty. I whined into the pillow, working myself back roughly onto him, as his hand gripped the back of my neck while he plowed into me.

I was panting and drawing nearer to my orgasm, loving the switch into a deep hard fucking but he tore away from me again, making me groan. “Lucas!”

He chuckled and gave my ass a slap. “Relax, there's enough of me to go around.” He plunged into Quinn and brought them to their completion before me just out of spite. Quinn rushed out a scream as their little body shook before collapsing onto my bed. Their hair stuck to their forehead and i pushed it away gently. I was happy that they came but pissed off at Lucas for making me wait. He was being such a snarky little shit about it too. He laid down finally, his head in the direction of the foot of the bed, and patted his thighs, beckoning me to him.

“Ride me, babes. I’m ready.”

I whacked his toned stomach but nonetheless made my over to straddle his hips. I guided him back inside, inhaling deeply as he felt even heavier and thicker now. Slowly, i bounced, setting my hands on his chest to keep my balance. My head dipped low and I bit into my bottom lip trying not to get too loud. He gripped my hips with one hand while the other dipped into his mouth, drawing his tongue over the length of his middle finger. In a few seconds, I felt that wetness between my cheeks, dancing across my rim.

“Relax, Eri. Fuck baby, relax for me. It’s gonna feel so good.”

“Just do it and shut up.” I grabbed his face and crushed his lips to mine as he pressed his finger into me, going slowly at first. His thick tongue slipped into my mouth, practically silencing my ability to convey my pleasure. He was able to eventually work his knuckle into me, making me wince as he coupled it with a faster grind of his hips. I accepted him anyway rocking back on the feeling of each one of my holes being occupied by him. His tongue, his finger, his cock, and my overstimulation was a match made in heaven. His dug his fingertips into my ass forcing our bodies as close as they could go. He was losing control and finding any which way to stay stable but continued to falter. He tossed his head back, finally releasing my lips from his grasp, and filling the condom within me. I ground through his orgasm, chasing my own so I wouldn’t be left unfulfilled after his little edging spell. He was starting to squirm a bit, wanting to slip away from the slight overstimulation. It didn’t stop me though. The feeling of getting my payback sparked my nerves, making me cum hard. I collapsed to the right of him as my legs gave way and I couldn’t hold myself up any longer. Quinn crawled over to Lucas’ left side and laid their head on his chest.

“You guys left me to just jack off on my own!”

“I thought you liked watching us fuck.” Lucas laughed.

“Yeah but you could've at least ate me out!”

I sighed and left them to bicker or even get into it again, wanting to get my peace of mind back. Besides my phone buzzed and I was curious as to who was messaging me now. It was Yuta. I sighed and opened the message quickly just to see what he wanted.

Kisskissfallinlove: NOT COOL

Kisskissfallinlove: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Of course he was referring to me making an example out of him just a couple hours ago.

I didn’t need your toys here. They were gonna get mixed in with my stuff

Kisskissfallinlove: I’M THE ONLY ONE WITH BRIGHT PINK SHIT BECAUSE ITS UR FAVE COLOR

Kisskissfallinlove: HOW COULD IT GET MIXED UP

Stop yelling at me.

Also i’m kinda busy rn

I’ll message you later

Kisskissfallinlove: i’m gonna get you, dont you worry.

I’m not worried sir. I was simply returning your stuff. Don’t forget your shit next time and it wont happen again.

Kisskissfallinlove: thursday. My room

Kisskissfallinlove: i mean it eri.

We’ll see

I tossed my phone back down contemplating ignoring his request or falling into his bed again. Why not? What was the worst that could happen? I needed everything to help me get over the fact that Johnny was over me.

Yuta had his legs crossed over mine, pinning my ankles to the bed with his feet. My arms were bound behind my back with the same pink rope I had dumped into his lap just days before. An intricate and tight pattern that accentuated my chest kept me from squirming too much. I couldn’t talk, barely could even moan with the ball gag he stuffed in my mouth. All the while he sat behind me letting a relentless stream of vibrations from his favorite hitachi wand wash over my clit. My toes curled and my fingers flexed against his stomach as he forced me to stop right before I could have my satisfaction. The vibrations were so strong I could feel them even when he pulled the toy away. My panties were becoming a soaked mess as he insisted I keep them on. He loved the way my cum spread across the center leaving the wet spot behind. “Do you wanna cum?” He asked. His other hand was busy scrolling through his phone as if nothing was phasing him at all.

I growled at his stupid question. If I wasn’t irritated enough at his punishment, the fact that he wasn’t even paying attention to me was worse. He set his head on my shoulder. I could see texts popping up on his phone but I had no idea what they said. While Korean men was my forte, the language sure as hell wasn’t. I squirmed a bit more vieing for more pleasure and get this over with. Edging always made me want to kick and scream, especially when Yuta was behind it.

“Oh, did you get the text about Taeyong and Taeil’s Halloween party?”

I glared over at him. How the hell was I supposed to answer with this stupid gag in my mouth? He popped it out and I worked to suck back the spit that it had accumulated before I drooled all over myself unintentionally. “N-no. Let me cum already!”

“It’s this weekend,” He continued. “I’m kind surprised they didn’t tell you. Everyone’s going over there to chill and shit. Do you think you’ll go?”

I bit into my bottom lip as my calves strained and my toes flexed as I tried to focus the pain somewhere else. “I-I don’t th-thi-think I should show up somewhere-AHHH! Uninvited!!!”

He turned the speed up higher. “Yeah I guess it is kind rude but who cares. They know you. It’s not like you're some stranger. You can just be my date.” He kissed me on the cheek and flashed that gorgeous sunshine-y smile at me. I was half tempted to headbutt him.

“Oh a date? Well don’t I just feel so fuckin’ special.”

He tsked at me. “Now, now, Eri. Watch your language. Besides, you’re gonna ditch me as soon as you see Johnny.

The name made me stop wriggling for a moment. “I am not going to ditch you for that asshole.” I said through grit teeth. He turned off the wand then, giving me relief but also stress from the incomplete build up. “I have no reason to go after him now that he has a girlfriend. I may sleep around but I’m not a homewrecker.”

“It’s kinda weird. He keeps saying that she isn’t his girlfriend but she’s like everywhere. And i mean EVERYWERE. She kinda creeps all of us out. He hasn’t seemed like himself either.”

I panted as he pulled the wand away from my panties and replaced it with his fingers. He was sliding through the oversaturation, every graze over my overly sensitive clit making me want to scream. If I didn’t keep up the conversation though I had a feeling he would go back to torturing me. “What exactly do you mean?”

Yuta shrugged and stilled his movements. “Like he’s quiet and he hasn’t really responded to our texts. He kinda looks a mess too.”

My stomach fell with a sudden heaviness. Was something going on with him and that stupid slut? Why was he with her anyway? The whole situation still irritated me but i had to remember that I was over him. I had to move on so whatever was happening with him was none of my business. I shrugged. “Well that sucks for him. I don’t know what you want me to do about it. Maybe I shouldn’t even go. I don’t need to be around him.”

“Damn Eri, that’s harsh…”

“No. You know what’s harsh, not having the balls to even tell me that he didn’t want to be fuck buddies anymore. I don’t care if he got a girlfriend but you don’t just drop someone like that.” I swallowed hard before my voice cracked. “Anyway, i’m over that.”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Sounds like it.” He said sarcastically. I slammed my shoulder back into his chest.

“Remind me why I hang out with you again. You’re frustrating.”

“Because i’m your prince, duh.” His fingers started up again and I could hear the loud squelching as he dove into me. “You should still come with me. I don’t want it to be a giant sausage fest. If anything goes down, we can leave and go get pancakes or something. My treat.”

“Ok, ok.” I agreed against my better judgement. “I’ll go but only because I still expect pancakes no matter what.”

“Unless you leave me for Johnny.”

“Yuta, for the last time I’m not gonna leave you at the party for Johnny. Now can you PLEASE let me cum?!”

Johnny’s POV

I didn’t really want to be here but free booze was basically my middle name. Drinking was starting to become my new best friend and I already felt a buzz going. Rixi was still by my side, having flipped out when she somehow found out I was going to this party. It was leading me to drink more and more just to try and forget she was here. There was only so much that Jae could help me with. After I told him a condensed version of what happened after the rave he got defensive and would step in whenever she got to be too much to handle. I was happy that he didn’t act the way I predicted and instead told me that he would always be there for me. We were each other’s family while we were far away from home. It felt good to have someone believe me and not judge me even though I was constantly wondering why I couldn’t defend myself against her. He had hugged me for a long while after our talk and I was grateful but still felt a bit of guilt. He still had to live his own life too and shouldn’t spend it babysitting me and this monstrosity. When we got to the party I told him to go with Quinn and have a good time. He was hesitant at first, giving Rixi a dirty glare, until I insisted that he’d leave. That was when I starting people watching, focusing on the rotation of people coming in and out of the apartment.

When I saw Yuta enter, a harsh nauseating feeling hit my stomach. I set my cup down, knowing that I would need to steady myself to deal with who he had in tow. I should’ve known she would be here. There was no way to escape her no matter how much my mind flipped flopped through wanting to see her and wanting to run away. She looked good. I had no idea what her costume was but there was a lot of vinyl, straps, and a pair of knee high boots. Everything clung to her like a dream and I could see her body line perfectly. My heart skipped a beat or two when my eyes trailed up to see her gorgeous curls on full display and her lips pouted in a deep burgundy. I sighed, knowing that she was going to be the death of me tonight and get me into so much trouble. I needed her out before shit hit the fan.

Our eyes met for a moment but she turned away quickly, tossing her hair over her shoulder and practically throwing herself on Yuta. I moved away from the wall then, heading out towards the balcony to have a smoke and try and calm my nerves. It was freezing tonight but the chill helped cool the heat on my skin that was already making me sweat from my panic. I lit the cigarette and took a slow drag before setting my arms on the railing. What the hell was I going to do? My terrorizer and savior were both in the same room and i was destined to go mad at the thought of them colliding again. Worst of all, because Eri had come with Yuta it meant that she was on the up and up with him. I didn’t want to see her tongue down his throat or the way he treated her like some hentai porn doll. If only she knew about all the pictures and videos he took of her and shared with us, then she wouldn’t be so quick to have his dick inside her.

My jaw tensed and I took another drag. I set my head in my hands in disbelief at my own jealous thoughts. I couldn’t be jealous. There was no reason to be. Yet here I was wishing that every time she touched him, that it were me instead. I heard the sliding doors glide back and that annoying voice popped up beside me. “Johnnyyyy~” Rixi whined. “Why aren’t you here without me?”

“Because I needed a damn smoke. Taeyong isn’t going to let me do it inside his apartment. Can I be out here by myself for one minute?”

“Silly,” She grabbed onto my arm and set her head on my shoulder. “How else am I gonna keep an eye on you? Especially with that bitch walking around here.”

“Excuse me?” I snapped at her.

“The one you always look at on Instagram and Snapchat. The one that was a show off that day at the student center. I don’t like her.”

“Well I do.” I said, straightening up. “Don’t call her a bitch. I mean it.”

“What do you mean you like her? You can’t. You’re my boyfriend.” Her brows furrowed in anger and she was quick to tighten her grip on my arm as usual. I yanked it back roughly.

“I meant what I said. And I’m not your boyfriend.”

“Why do you keep saying that?!”

“Because you forced me into doing something I didn’t want to and i’m tired of it.”

She pressed me into the wall, digging her nails into my chest. “I didn’t force you to do anything. You’re the one who wanted it at the rave and all the other times after that. So don’t say that you never wanted me because that’s a bold face lie.”

“I was high at the rave. I couldn’t even think straight. You took advantage of that- of me.”

Rixi shoved my face back, making my head hit the wall. I winced instantly, already feeling the ringing in my ear. I grit my teeth and didn’t look at her. My body was freezing again; my brain failing to process any fight or flight response. She chuckled then, a sadistic laugh that mocked me with the fact that she had this power. She finally backed away giving me some space to breathe and nurse the bump that seemed to be already forming on my skull. I tossed the barely finished cigarette over the railing and made my way back inside deciding to walk away from her entirely. Jae wasn’t anywhere to be found but i needed some sort of safe haven now that the balcony was off limits. Rixi was still following close behind me but just ahead i saw Eri dip into the bathroom.

I turned around quickly making Rixi slam into me. “Can i piss without you going in there with me?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But make it quick.”

I almost ran to the bathroom door, collecting my thoughts before I took a deep breath and dove back into the world of the person who made me feel alive.

Eri’s POV

I heard a knock on the door just as I was touching up my lipstick, making sure it didn’t smear. I licked my teeth and sighed. “Someone’s in here.” I called out, annoyed that people at this party were impatient as ever.

“Open up.”

“What part of ��someone’s in here’ don’t you understand?!” I kicked at the door, trying to shoo the creep away.

“It’s Johnny.” What the fuck did he want? I rolled my eyes and let out an audible groan loud enough for him to hear.

“Ok, and?”

“Let me in.”

“For what? I’m busy in here.”

“”Let. Me. In.”

“If you don’t get away from this door I will hurt you. Bet on that.”

“You’d have to open the door first.” He said. I groaned again, even louder than last time knowing he was right. I pulled the door open just a crack. “What do you-” I was cut off by him barging in, pushing me back into the tiny room as he did so. He kicked the door shut behind him and shoved me against it not giving me a chance to even breathe. He slammed his hand above my head as he blocked me from escaping. I glared up at him. “What the hell is your problem?!”

“You’re my problem Eri. What are you doing here?” He growled.

“Excuse you, Yuta invited me to be his date. What do you think you’re doing trying to command shit?”

“I’m not trying to command anything. I’m just irritated that you’re everywhere I turn and I can’t escape you.”

“Well gee, that may be because we’re in the same social circle and I fuck almost every single one of your friends.” I said, spitefully. “Besides, does it even matter now that you’re with your precious girlfriend? Shouldn’t you be occupied with her?” I still wasn’t over that fact and but I had come to terms with it. I was still a clusterfuck of emotions- a little jealousy, anger and spitefulness, and a lot of hurt at the betrayal and lack of communication. All that mixed with the fact that my body was reacting to him already in ways that i utterly despised just pissed me off even more. My hair was on end and his heavy breaths made his chest press against mine. He was a mere two inches away from my face and the look in his eyes made me want to make him regret ever ghosting me. I forced my eyes away from his hostile look but instead I focused on those dangerous lips. No. I had to remember that I wouldn’t change for no dick and he couldn’t have this hold on me any longer. He could fuck right off.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He growled.

“Oh really? Does she know that? Hard to tell with all those ‘hashtag boyfriend’ posts.”

“Now you’re stalking her instagram?”

“You’re stalking mine. I see your likes every day. What do you think i’m gonna do? Fall for you because you liked my dumb videos?”

“Why do you have to be so endlessly irritating? I don’t want anything from you but to be free.”

“I could say the same about you. I loathe you entirely.”

“Hate me then. Hate me forever. Just get the fuck out of my head. Please get the fuck out of my head.”

What? Had he still been thinking about me this whole time? As much as i had? I wondered if he was hurting like I was. Then again he was the one that caused all of this to begin with. “That sounds like a personal problem. I’ve moved on.”

“Yeah, with who? The little boy toys you got floating around?”

“Careful Johnny, your jealousy is showing.”

He grabbed my face roughly and forced me to look up at him. “It’s not my fault.” He closed the small gap, pressing his lips that i missed so much against mine. I clutched at his chest, almost giving in to his prying tongue but I managed to pull my head away before it got too far. I shoved at his chest and turned my head away from him.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare Johnny. Just don’t. You think you can come back into my life saying and doing what you want when you left me on read for weeks? You didn’t even have the balls to just fucking tell me you wanted to be with her!”

“I don’t want to be with her! That’s the fuckin’ issue! It’s more complicated than you think.”

“What’s complicated about it? You gave me up just to be with her, some low budget copycat version of me. Get over it.”

“How can I when you’re fuckin’ in my head constantly?” He tapped his finger against his temple. “All the damn time, even when I try and force you out you’re in there, haunting me. I’ve tried to get over you, Eri. I’ve tried everything in my power to do so. You wanna talk about hate? That’s hate.”

I scoffed. “In your head? You’re always wrapped up in your head! That’s your problem.” I hit my small fist against him and made him take a step back. My anger was boiling and it was getting worse with the sadness that was creeping into my words. “If you hate me so much then...just get out of my life! We fuck, that’s it. If you’re gonna play games then you’re definitely fucking with the wrong person.”

“I know that. Trust me I do. I just...I can’t think straight. All i do is go back and forth and I get pissed off or needy or sad or anxious. It’s never ending.” He balled his hands up into fists, his forearms straining his frustration. “I wish I could tell you what’s going on…”

I raised a brow at him. “What’s going on is that you’re an asshole and I want nothing to do with you.”

He pushed his hair back and ran a hand over his face. “I get that but...I need you. I fuckin’ need you so bad…”

“Need me? Where we you when I-” I stopped then. Did I really need him or did I just want him? Want him above everything else? I swallowed hard and pressed myself back against the door. Every time. Every damn time. It never failed. Why did I want to run back to him? Why did he have this hold on me? He didn’t deserve anything, especially not my forgiveness or even my body. I could already feel myself ready to cave in at the drop of a hat. I needed to leave this stupid tiny bathroom asap. If I did I could escape him and get a hold of myself. I wouldn’t throw my positive affirmations out the window and make them meaningless again. I reached for the doorknob but his hand covered mine, stopping me. I looked up at him and was suddenly struck with confusion. His eyes weren’t showing anger. Instead they were drowning in hurt. He pressed his forehead to mine and pulled my hand away from the door, placing my arms around his neck while his held my waist. I was disappointed but not surprised that I gave into him. I was kicking myself the entire way, screaming that i was a complete fucking fool and went against everything Quinn had said. But my body ached for him after not having him in my arms for so long. One thing I truly couldn’t escape was the way I felt about him, even if it gave me poor decision making skills.

“Make me feel anything.” He begged.

“What do you need?” I whispered, my voice trembling. I was completely terrified about what I was diving back into

“To feel alive.” He licked his lips and swallowed back. “I need it to hurt.”

I looked up at him as my heart stuttered. “Johnny, I-” He couldn’t mean that. We had never done anything like that before. What was going on with him that he wanted this from me.

“Please, Eri. I trust you.”

I wanted to protest, more than anything, but instead I squeezed him to me tight momentarily before bringing my lips to his. I dont know who this Johnny was but he seemed to have lost the light in his eyes and I didnt like that one bit. My mind buzzed with questions that i wanted answered but knew would be blocked off immediately. His words were making my heart ache more than anything and i felt compelled to extinguish whatever sorrow he had built up within our time apart. I wanted that goofy smile back and I definitely wanted to be the one who caused it. If he wanted this to be a rough wake up call back to reality than i would consent to it. I held his jaw in my hands and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, whispering “I got you.” He nodded, thankful for my agreement.

We shifted slowly into the change of pace, starting with kisses that built their way up from gentle to rough. Our hands explored at first then changed into digs, gropes, and pulls. His hands seemed to be enamored with the simple harness i wore for my ‘costume’ which was just a haphazard mix of whatever I deemed as “sexy enough” for a Halloween party. His fingers traced the embedded rivets in the leather strap from were it rested below my rib cage all the way up to the o-ring on the collar it connected to. He was intrigued by the ring and tugged on it during our rougher kisses, pulling me to my tiptoes though i already had stilettos on. I braced myself against his chest and forced him back against the sink counter. He pulled me along with him by the ring, keeping a solid grip on it while my lips were a flurry of harsh bites to everywhere i could reach. One by one his neck sprouted bright crimson marks, each one coupled with a groan or a hiss. I grew frustrated with the fact that his shirt covered where I wanted to get to the most. I slapped his hand away from me and clawed at the hem of fabric shoving it upwards until he pulled it off all the way.

He tossed it to the ground and my attention peaked when i saw fading green and yellow bruises on his rib cage. “Seems like she already makes it hurt for you.” I pointed out bitterly. Doubt sprouted in my mind like a budding plant and i wondered if she had gotten him used to being rough. Her of all people, when i had the most experience between him and I. My jaw settled with my selfishness, reminding me of that nagging friend, jealousy.

“Trust me, it wasn't in the way i wanted. You can make me feel good; you're a thousand times better.”

I smirked at the sudden boost to my ego. I dipped my nails into the soft skin of his stomach and pressed into him harder. “No shit. Tell me did I ever cross your mind when you were with her? When you were fucking her, touching her, when you kissed her? Did you wish it was me at all?” i teased, licking across my lips coyly.

“Every. Fucking. Time.” He growled. His intensity switched instantly and i was suddenly faced with having my skirt and panties viciously pulled down. I kicked the irritating barriers away, stumbling just a bit as they circled the edge of my boots. His large hands cupped my ass, covering them with delicious heat as he hoisted me up onto his waist. He plopped me down on the counter and yanked me to the very edge to keep me on display for him like some sort of trophy. I grabbed onto his face again drawing out more hungry kisses and struggling breaths from him. I bit down on his bottom lip, tugging harshly and painful enough to make his blunt nails drag down my thigh. I let his lip go and licked at the tender skin, placing softer kisses to soothe it. He yanked his head back, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth to nurse it on his own. “Ass.”

I smirked. “You said make it hurt.” I propped myself back on my elbows, leaning back on the counter and taking in the sight before me- my legs spread wide and a man who was desperate enough to seek out the pleasure i gave him while that she devil lingered at the party most likely wondering where he was at. The evil part of my ego was at it again suddenly growing the fantasy of me winning the battle and the war. He came back to me even after being under her thumb for this past month. That in of itself was enough to add to my building wetness. I brought two fingers to my lips, taking a few seconds to outline the fullness of them before slipping them past my teeth. Johnny’s eyes were hooked on the movements and his hands were moving on their own so as to not distract him from the show i was putting on. He fumbled with the zipper of his dark jeans until he worked them down his long legs and let them pool at his ankles. His navy briefs came next, uncovering his cock that i missed so, so much.

I let my fingers go with a delicate pop and traced them down my stomach to meet my center. I bit down on my lip as i slid them over my clit and guided them towards my entrance. Carefully, i eased one in, getting just to the knuckle before attempting the second one. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the mirror as i started to thrust and wiggle my small fingers as deep as they could go. I felt his hand drift to my lips, mimicking my previous motions, forgoing wetting his own fingers and instead shoving them in my mouth instead. It was quickly filled with three of them, almost making me gag on the rough invasion. He thrusted them faster than i could keep up but I swallowed as best as I could, my tongue giving attention to each of their lengths. While his hand kept busy with my mouth, I continued coaxing my cum from within me, knowing I would need every last bit of it for what I wanted him to do.

He was working his own bites into my skin now, digging his teeth into my inner thigh. His mouth was so close to where i desired him most that I couldn’t help but try and buck my hips towards him. He slapped my thigh then, right over the fresh wet bite, making it sting. I whimpered around his fingers just as he pulled them out. I broke the string of spit, wiping my lips as I hated the mess he made me make. “That hasn’t changed,” He swallowed back a small groan as he fisted the head of his cock within his wet fingers. “I won’t do that.”

I rolled my eyes and propped my heel onto his shoulder, getting better access to my entrance. I continued to pump my fingers, forcing my walls to stretch around them. They were nothing compared to Johnny but I could at least tease him with the little show I was putting on. With each trust I would scissor myself open, gaping my eager entrance just a bit before spreading my lips open. The sight made Johnny rut into his hand faster, filling his palm fully. “You’re still such a punk.” I dug the tip of my stiletto into his shoulder as I filled myself again with my fingers. He pushed back against the heel and grabbed at my hips roughly.

“I just like you to beg and never give you the satisfaction.”

I barely had time to pout because he slammed into me so swiftly that my body shook with the force. I wrapped my arms around him tight, a high pitched squeak was all i could manage to let out as I was too afraid that even with the music blaring outside everyone could hear me scream. I left no part of his shoulder blades unmarked by my nails, adding spite into each one. Being fucked open like this was excruciatingly intoxicating, so raw and full of hunger that I could barely process it all. My head was tossed back, my body bouncing against his. My leg remained propped on his shoulder allowing him to dig as deep as he could go.

My hands shifted to his hair, pulling with all my might and earning me the hardest slam yet. My thighs shook with the intensity and tears were edging around the corners of my eyes. He mimicked my pull, grabbing a fistfull of my curls to give him access to mar my shoulders. Unlike him, i despised getting my hair pulled and it only edged me further. I tried to break free from his iron grip but he was relentless. It was like he never wanted to let me go no matter how tight I already was against him. I distracted him with kisses, whimpering like a helpless puppy against him and begging him for more while my hand wrapped around his. I pulled him away, little by little, and transferred his grip to my neck. My scalp still throbbed and I’d much rather feel that strong grip preventing the air from escaping my lungs.

He stilled for a moment, finally easing away from me. I could see him weighing his options and if he could really go through with it. Our moans dissipated into heavy pants as I waited for him. He chewed on his bottom lip, his free palm rubbing up and down my thigh. I looked up at him, my eyes pleading and matching my coy beg. “Please daddy?” I mewled. I covered my mouth quickly, realizing that I had actually uttered that word to him. Heat rose to my cheeks as there was no way to take them back. I tried not to look at him; i couldn't bare to show him my embarrassment. Even though he said he may like it we were still testing the waters and i chose tonight of all times to say it.

My panicked thoughts were stopped when Johnny ripped me off the counter and turned me around, pulling out from me momentarily. He then shoved my ass back against his hips tearing through me again and making me grip the counter to try and steady myself. I was practically bent over, my knees hitting the cabinets below, as he pressed against my back leaving me helplessly trapped. His fingers finally clenched around my throat, suffocating me in the most sinful way. My eyes fell closed and I smirked loving every minute of him destroying me. With his lips close to my ear I heard him pant heavily. “Why do you make me go crazy, Eri?”

“Because,” I rasped, trying to speak as much as I could. “You asked for it remember? I guess we’re both fucked in the head for torturing each other like this.” I swallowed against his fingers as i pressed myself back against him following his movements. My thighs were starting to quiver and my lungs burned in need. Sweat beaded across my forehead as my body felt like it was on fire especially with Johnny crushing me. His unoccupied hand crept between my thighs and circled my clit, even kicking my legs open further to gain more access.

“That’s for damn sure.” He chuckled lowly. “Spread yourself so I can see how good I’m fucking you.”

“Don’t...be so-” I winced as It almost stung to talk. “G-gross.” I gave in and tapped on his forearm, begging him to let me go. He unfurled his fingers and forced my arms behind my back to rest on my ass. I gulped down air, finally being able to expand my chest fully. Johnny seemed determined to take my breath away anyway with another violent slam.

“Do it.” I felt his lips press several kisses down my spine as if he was trying to convince me. I practically growled, trying to snap bites at him when his kisses got close to my shoulders. He caught my lip in his teeth paying me back for how harshly I had bitten him earlier. I winced and tried pulling away only making the pain much worse. He was doing in on purpose and i knew he wouldn't let go until i complied with his order. With a blow to my pride and heaps of embarrassment i pulled apart my cheeks and let him see how deep his cock was forcing me open. He finally pulled away from my lip and i could taste the faintest hint of blood.

The sound that came from deep within his throat as he watched me made my entire body tingle. God that sound- a little primal and angry but still so hungry to cum and feel me clench around him. My body did just that, tensing my walls as I clawed at his wrist and begged him to keep filling my clit with pleasure. He landed a hard smack to my ass, most likely punishment for ruining his view with my desperation. My body jerked forward, my legs creeping onto my tiptoes and pushing me to my orgasm. I covered my mouth quickly, screaming into my skin instead of letting the whole party know how good he made me feel. I pressed my forehead to the counter trying to sap up the coolness of the fake tile.

Johnny barely let me rest through the small aftershocks and my cum spread across my thighs. He pulled me to the floor forcing me onto my knees. The angels were on his side today because I would’ve bitten his dick clean off but my subspace overrode my brattiness as soon as those chocolate eyes glared down at me I was a pathetic puddle at his mercy and he didn’t even have to ask. My lips parted for him and he pushed his way through, practically hitting the back of my throat. It was more than i could handle and I tried to get some breathing room but his hand remained on my shoulder, pressing me into place. I clawed at his hips as my tongue crawled along his shaft and whenever his tip would meet the edge of it. He was singing praises to me, as if my mouth was an entity to pray to. I could feel just the beginnings of his cum slip into my mouth as his hand switched to the back of my neck. His thighs flexed under my palms and my name came with a guttural groan. Though that was enough of a warning I still wasn’t prepared for the thick ropes that coated my throat.

I shoved his hips away and slammed my hand over my mouth, trying my damndest not to hurl his musky bitter taste back up. Reluctantly, I swallowed and shuddered hating the way it slid down my throat. Jesus, why did he cum so much?! He touch returned to a gentleness though my eyes were filled with venom.

“A little warning would have been nice!”

“Sorry! I thought it was obvious! Are you okay?”

I sighed and got up slowly, bracing myself on the counter. “Yeah, no, just peachy. Can’t walk but what else is new.” I wiped my mouth then noticed something. “Johnny?”

He was starting to pull up his underwear when he looked at me. “What?”

“Did you...did you not use a condom?”

He froze. “Oh….”

“Yeah, oh! Oh my god. That’s like my one rule!” I covered my face trying not to think about how flustered it made me.

“Well...I mean you swallowed so...nothing’s gonna happen.” He continued getting dressed before heading over to the sink to splash cold water on his face.

“Yeah, but…” I blushed harder and turned away from him. Though I was sore as hell, it did feel really good. I had never had sex with anyone like that before and now that it was with Johnny I had the irritating idea that it was somehow special. I warned myself to throw that idea out. Nothing was special. He was just a fucking forgetful idiot. I pushed my hair back before looking in the mirror to see the kind of damage my sweat had done to my makeup. I caught Johnny looking at me from his reflection. “What?”

He smiled a little and leaned in to steal a kiss from me. It caught me off guard and I pulled away just a bit only to have him chase my lips. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close making sure I couldn’t escape. I giggled and pawed at his chest trying to stop his continuous onslaught of sweet pecks. “Stop that!”

“What I can’t kiss you now? You like it.” He blew me a kiss and winked which made me roll my eyes.

“Why are you a dork? You were literally fucking me raw and shoving your dick down my throat and now you’re all soft. What gives?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just something that you bring out of me.” He shrugged and placed another kiss on my lips, this time not as playful as before. I exhaled softly and let myself get wrapped up in the romance of his kiss. I held onto him, allowing his tongue to glide against mine and make my heart flutter. We stayed in each others arms for awhile until I realized that if we kept this up we would be stuck in this bathroom for probably another hour. I pulled away reluctantly. “Hey...um, we should get back out there before anyone notices.”

“I’m sure they noticed anyway. I don’t think I was that subtle.” He laughed.

“Probably not. It’s kind of hard to be sneaky when you’re 6 feet tall and an idiot.”

“Doesn’t help that I trip on everything either.” He set a kiss on my forehead and adjusted his clothes, making sure he was ready to go back out and rejoin the party. I let him leave, still having to clean up myself and get my clothes back on. He closed the door softly and I made quick work of wiping myself down and shimmying back into my bodycon skirt. It was when I went to fix my makeup that I heard yelling outside the door. I swung it open, stumbling out a bit and saw Rixi land a hard slap to Johnny’s cheek. Fuck.

“Are you serious?!” She screamed.

Johnny ran his hand over his face and looked like he was trying with all his might to gather his patience. Christ, was I actually a homewrecker and helped with cheat? God, I didn’t even think of that in the heat of the moment. My stomach started to churn instantly as I was wracked with guilt. He had said she wasn’t his girlfriend but maybe he was lying just to hook up with me. Oh god, I wanted to throw up. I felt a grip on my arm and looked up to see Yuta beside me. “Eri, what the hell did you do?”

“I-I…” I couldn’t even think of words to explain or excuse my actions. My mouth just made motions until I snapped it shut and looked away. What would I even tell him that wasn’t the obvious with the marks along my neck? Yuta face palmed and gave me a great sigh of disappointment.

“Can’t say I’m surprised.” He mumbled making me feel worse about the whole situation. I stared at my feet helplessly wishing that Quinn would come get me and take me home.

“Cut it out!” I heard Johnny say.

“Whoa, fuck!” Yuta let me go and went over to to the commotion. I saw Rixi still putting her hands on Johnny though he was trying to deflect her attacks. Yuta was trying to separate the two but Rixi shoved him back. I could understand why she was mad of course. She had every right to be. But hitting anyone wasn’t going to solve anything. Johnny’s face was already red and shirt overstretched with all the pulling she was doing to it. It was garnering attention from the partygoers and eyes were split between me and the commotion. I felt like i had a giant scarlet letter on my back and the shady whispers weren’t helping. As i was trying to take the opportunity to escape I heard more yelling and a loud bang.

“Dude cut it out!”

Johnny was against the wall now and Yuta was trying his best to still get a handle of the situation, Taeyong had stepped in and the music cut out. Everyone was walking on eggshells, teetering around the morals of hitting a woman. Something clicked within me and I pieced together what was going on. She wasn’t just mad, she was purposefully attacking him, landing multiple hits and that was something I wouldn’t take. I stormed over, shoving Yuta out the way and grabbing Rixi by the shirt. She had a few inches on me but I was far from scared.

“Go ahead, lay a hand on him again.” I growled. She shoved me back hard, making me stumble back into Yuta. My anger boiled over and I launched myself at her just as the chants for a fight started. Taeyong caught me and held me back.

“ERI! Go the fuck home!”

I tried pushing him away but he only held onto me tighter. “Are you just gonna let this happen?!”

“You're a shit starter and i’m not gonna have a fight break out and the cops called at my fucking party. Go. Home.”

“Me a shit starter!? Don't you see what she's doing to him?!”

“You're the one who had to go and sleep with him to begin with! Now leave.” He let me go then as i almost went lifeless at his words. It hurt more than anything especially because I knew it was probably my fault. I stepped back and turned on my heels, grabbing my coat off the nearby couch, before running out the door. I pushed through the front door of the apartment complex and frantically searched in the dark for my car. I dug my hand through my coat pocket and fished them out, clicking on the key fob to see my headlights glowing. Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks.

“Wait up!” I heard from behind me. I kept walking, refusing to stop for him. Of course he followed me. He was just planning to make things worse.

“Leave me alone!” I shouted back at him. I got to my car and grabbed a hold of the handle, swinging the door open. He ran to catch up to me and held onto the door, preventing me from closing it.

“Please wait.”

“Wait for what?! I was stupid and fucked you when I knew you had a girlfriend-”

“She isn’t my girlfriend!”

“Why the fuck do you keep saying that!?”

“Because she-!” He sighed. “I have to tell you something. Something important but not here. Come to my place?”

“Why should I?”

“I think you need to know the truth about me and Rixi.”

Ten/Eri Chat

Ten: (Spotify Link) Break Up with your Girlfriend, Im Bored- Ariana Grande

Ten: (Spotify Link) Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

Ten: (Youtube Link) LEMONADE Full Album Beyonce

What are you doing????

Ten: (Spotify Link) Thank you, next- Ariana Grande

Tennnnnnnn. What. are. You. doing????

Ten: I’m helping you create a playlist so you can cry/get over Johnny

Ten: And hurry up and get in my bed

Ten: But I’m being a good friend first

Oh my god, i’m going to snap your little neck

Ten: Which diva phase are you in, crying like adele, hoeing like ariana, or i’m gonna kill you like beyonce?

I’m in my “im gonna block Ten” phase.

Ten: Wack, i’m perfect and you love me.

Ten: Second question though

Ten: Want to go to the club with me tonight?

What club? For what? I just worked a 6 hour

Ten: So? Get your good bra out and lets get fucked up and make out with everyone

Ten: You deserve it.

Ten: and duh, gay club downtown. Who has time for boring hetero clubs

I don’t even think i’ve been to a straight club. What are the heteros like Ten? They’re a mystery to me

Ten: Ask your boyfriend

Ask all the girls you slept with. And all those jocks you blew in high school

Ten: Hey! At least they were on the DL. it counts as gay. Anyway we can dance on the stripper poles when we’re drunk and make poor decisions and record them on snapchat

Ten: cmooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn

Fine. I guess I can go.

Btw i’m in between ariana and beyonce

The Boys Group Chat

Taeil: Ok ok ok ok

Taeil: We need to talk about what the fuck is going on

Taeyong: You mean Johnny and his GIRLFRIEND????

Yuta: what even in the actual fuck was that all about? I was so confused.

Taeyong: at least you didn’t get spit on by jae

Ten: Or get all your toys dumped on you lmaoooooooo😂😂😂😂

Yuta: SHUT UP

Yuta: I DIDN’T THINK SHE WAS GONNA DO THAT

Taeyong: you know she did it on purpose because she wanted to make a show out of it

Taeil: careful ty. Ur jungwoo is showing.

Taeyong: shut up it’s not even like that.

Ten: so much spite for such a small body.

Ten: but now that johnnys got a girlfriend maybe she’d want to fuck you again

Taeyong: it’s srsly not like that you shit

Yuta: wait so like...is he out the group chat though? We literally only fuck around. None of us have ever gotten girlfriends or anything

Yuta: not like since h.s anyway

Taeil: its not like were a cult or something

Taeil: we can talk about who we fuck still

Taeil: and trade pics

Jae: you guys don’t know what ur talking about

Jae: just drop it

Ten: how can we drop it?!

Ten: literally Johnny has fucked around more than all of us

Yuta: that’s a lie but ok go off

Ten: ANYWAY

Ten: he’s fucked around a lot and he’s never been tied down so what gives?

Jae: its more complicated than you think

Taeyong: how is it complicated. theyre together right?

Jae: yeah but its still not that simple

jae: just drop it

Jae: i’m trying to handle it

Taeil: handle what????

Taeil: wtf is all this cryptic ass shit???

Jae: im not in a place to tell anyone really

Ten: is he like getting abused lol

Ten: NOT LOL

Ten: but you know what i mean

Jae: i gotta go.

Jae: just don’t talk about shit that you know nothing about

Taeil: OK BUT THIS DOESN’T ANSWER ANYTHING OH MY GOD

Lucas: so like idk whats going on with johnny

Taeyong: neither do we

Lucas: but eri was pissed.

Ten: no shit

Lucas: but i managed to calm her down

Lucas: me and quinn

Lucas: together

Yuta: wait a minute you got a fuckin angry threesome out of all of this?????

Yuta: NO FAIR

Lucas: a lot happened lol

Lucas: a lot a lot

Taeil: goddammit lucas

Taeyong: what’s your score at now?

Lucas: for eri?

Taeyong: duh.

Lucas: does the bj count? Multiple orgasms in one go?

Taeil: bj's fine, no to the mult orgasms

Lucas: lets see, there was like once or twice in between some stuff so including the bj and the threesome like 4 for Eri and like 12 for quinn

Yuta: fuck i’m behind. I only have 2

Taeil: We’ve had three lessons so thats what i got👅👅👅👅

Ten: I’ve been busy with dance practice so i got 3 too. We got drunk at the club and fucked after

Taeyong: good going idiot

Lucas: ok but you’re losing at 0

Taeyong: I’M NOT PLAYING

Ten: 👀👀👀👀👀

Johnny: quit talking about her like that.

Johnny: i’m dead serious

Johnny: she’s not some piece of meat to fuck with

Ten: ooohh daddy johnny is starting to show

Ten: careful, you might be getting a new girlfriend soon

#Johnny Fanfic #JOHNNY SMUT #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fanfiction #johnny nct #messy #nct 127 smut #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny fanfiction #johnny suh fanfiction #johnny seo fanfiction

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sometimeslenwrites · 5 years

Text

Bring Me Home pt5

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: I don’t really know. Is it angsty enough?

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,385 words

A/N: I’m sorry it took so long for me to update! Work got really crazy and things were all over the place! Anyway, here’s Part 5 of Bring Me Home! I haven’t edited this yet. LOL! My usual proof readers are busy so if there are any errors, I’m so sorry! Tell me what you think? I might end this mini series on the next update but if you guys want me to keep going, just let me know! Also tell me how you’re enjoying the story so far! Feedback is always appreciated! Thank you!!

-Jaehyun’s POV-

“You should really start dating dude” my friend Johnny said. This has been the topic of our conversation ever since we met at orientation. Johnny is a couple of years older than me but we became good friends over the short amount of time we’ve known each other. He was my “senior buddy” during our orientation. It’s funny considering he wasn’t even a senior then.

“Not this again” I roll my eyes as I throw my towel at his face.

“Just look around dude. Every girl in this gym is drooling over you. All the girls around campus lose their mind when they see you walking around.” He said as he flails his arms around. “Look, how do you even know you’re still in love with your first love if you don’t even try dating other girls?” You looked at him unbothered.

“Wait no, that’s wrong. Let me rephrase that” Johnny attempts to save himself but you cut him off before he could even correct himself.

“Look, faraway or not, I’m just not ready to date yet. And I just haven’t really met anyone who’s caught my attention. Okay?” I sighed.

To be honest, dating was out of the question. If it wasn’t her, why bother? Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of wonderful girls out there but I really only want one. I only need one. And she’s the reason why I’m working my ass off.

“Whatever man. All I’m saying is that if you’re closing yourself off, you won’t be able to move forward” Johnny gave you one last look and left for his class.

But I’m not closing myself off. I’m just saving myself for that one person. In ways, Johnny has a point. Of course thoughts have swam in my mind constantly. Thoughts like “what if I never see her again” and “what if she finds someone else”. We haven’t put any label on whatever it is we have but I just can’t bring myself to date just anyone else. Right now, all I really need and want is her. Just. Her.

-Your POV-

“So what do you say? Will you go out with me?” A boy named Wonwoo is asking you out. He’s been your thesis partner and you’ve gotten to know him quite a bit. You have to admit though, he’s amazing. Wonwoo is smart, funny and very mysterious. You’ve known each other for six months and it seems like you’re still finding new things every single day. You’d be lying if you say he’s not interesting, because he definitely is. You just can’t bring yourself to date anyone who is not Jaehyun.

“I’m sorry Wonwoo. Look, you’re amazing and anyone would be lucky to date you but..” you’re trying to reject him gently, your friendship on the line.

“But you’re not the lucky girl” he said with a soft smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You know, he’s very lucky” he starts.

“Who?” You’re genuinely curious because you’ve never once mentioned Jaehyun to anyone else aside from your common friends.

“Whoever it is you’re in love with! I hope he knows he’s got the best one out there.” He tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear “really lucky.” And with that, he turns around and starts walking away from you.

“Why can’t I just let Jae go? It’s not like he’s here! It’s not like he wants me. At least, I think he doesn’t.” You’re having another internal argument with yourself and it’s frustrating you. You know your feelings towards the boy you’ve grown to call your home but you’re not sure about his. The word “love” has been thrown around so casually between you two that you have no idea if the meaning is the same.

You were about to put your earphones in when he calls you.

“Hey babe” he says with a cheerful smile. The smile you’ve grown to love and appreciate. The smile that has made your bad days end good.

“Hey you” you reply. You’re chest feels tight and it feels like you’re going to break down any minute. You have no idea why you feel so emotional all of a sudden. Is it because you miss him? Or is it because you think he only sees you as his best friend?

“What’s wrong? Are you still out? Y/N it’s late! I told you not to be out so late when you’re on your own.” He looks at you with worry and your heart starts skipping.

“I’m just around campus, don’t worry. I’m headed back to my dorm now” you tell him “I’ll be there in like five minutes.” It’s true. You’ve lived in the university campus since day one. You’re a few months away from graduating and you have no idea what to do with yourself next.

“That’s good. Stay on the line with me, just to make sure you can go back safe” he tells you. All you did was offer a smile and a nod.

“Seriously, what’s wrong? What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He asks you. He genuinely looked concerned and you can’t help the way your heart races.

“Nothing. Just a lot of things to think about. You know, graduation amongst other things” you contemplated telling him about Wonwoo. Mainly because every time you do, his demeanour changes.

“I’ve known you for so long, Y/N” he starts “you can’t convince me nothing is wrong when something is obviously bothering you”.

“Someone asked me out today.” Oh boy, here we go.

“What. Who?” His tone was firm.

“Wonwoo.”

“Oh.”

“I rejected him” you tell him. And you think you saw relief but he covered that up real quick. Maybe your tired eyes are just playing tricks with you.

“Oh!” He sighs. “Why?”

“Because…..” should you just confess?

“Because what?”

What if this goes bad? What if I confess and he doesn’t feel the same? What if distance has made things change? He said I was his first love but what if someone else has taken my place? Would I really want to risk it all?

“Never mind. Look, I’ll just call you back when I reach the dorm. Okay?” You we’re rushing to cut the call. Already making up excuses in your head on why you didn’t call him back. You were too tired and you fell asleep. Maybe you could say your phone died and your battery stopped working. No, that would make him panic.

“Wait! No!” he practically screams but you cut the call.

“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” You scold yourself. Why is it so hard to just tell him? Why do you have to make things so difficult? You have no idea either but maybe it’s better this way. Maybe it’s better if he doesn’t know anything, right? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Right?

-Jaehyun’s POV-

“Did she just hung up on me?” I scratch my head. I’m so confused right now. She’s never done that before. Not even once. What’s gotten into her?

You send her a message:

To: QueenPeach

Hey, I know you said you’ll call once you’re back but I can’t shake the feeling that something is not right. Are you okay? You know you can always talk to me, right?

No response. Maybe she’s still walking. But she said she was near her dorm, right? What if something happened to her? Let me try and call her again.

Damn! Her phone is off!

Okay Yoonoh, don’t panic. Her phone probably died or something. Nothing is going to happen to her.

To: QueenPeach

Can you at least text me and let me know you got back safe? I’m kind of worried.

From: QueenPeach

Just got back. Phone died and I’m now charging it. I’m tired so I’m just going to head to bed. Have a good day and I’ll talk to you whenever. Okay?

To: QueenPeach

Get some sleep, okay? And cheer up. 😊 I don’t like it when you’re sad cause it makes me sad too. Okay? I love you!

I waited and waited for that I love you too but it never comes. I just put it down to her falling asleep. She’ll respond when she wakes up. I hope she will. I don’t know what I’d do if she doesn’t.

#jaehyun imagine #jaehyun scenario #jung jaehyun #sometimeslenwrites #jaehyun angst #jaehyun au #nct scenarios #nct angst #nct imagine #bring me home #kpop imagine #Jaehyun #nct au #nct 127 #nct #kpop au

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baronvontribble · 7 years

Text

Original drabble, pt. 5

Navigation: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

yeeeeeeee

It was cold on the way home the same as it had been on the way to work. The bus didn't run from anywhere near the store to anywhere near Ted's apartment building in an amount of time that made walking the less reasonable option, so he walked the whole way. By the time he got to his door, his cheeks and nose and ears stung with the cold; the relief of putting down his bags long enough to get out his keys only lasted the amount of time he spent not picking them back up again, which he inevitably had to do to go inside.

He slumped heavily against the door the moment he'd closed it and held onto the bags just long enough on their way down to the floor to make sure nothing broke, but after that, all bets were off in terms of physical activity. "I'm home," he called out, closing his eyes and letting himself breathe. Fuck, walking had been a bad idea.

"Is this where I'm supposed to ask you how your day went?" the AI's voice asked him, and Ted let out a wheezy chuckle.

"Well for starters," he said, "if we were really following the script? Slippers. And dinner. Already made, nice and hot. Falls apart when you get to the 'sit in front of the television' stage though, what with me not having one."

"That's a shame. It didn't even get to the part where you threaten physical violence if I'm not quick enough with your alcoholic beverage."

"Jesus. I think I'll skip that one, thanks. I mean for one thing, I don't drink." Heaving a sigh, Ted straightened back out and made his way to the kitchen to put the groceries away, draping his coat over a chair as he went and leaving his keys and phone on the counter. The only things that stayed out beyond that were the HD camera made for streaming purposes and the sandwich he'd bought to act as a reasonably well-rounded meal. "Where'd you hear about that shit anyway? Kinda antiquated at this point."

"Case files. Domestic cases weren't the kind of thing I handled, but I still had to be educated in how they worked. I had to be able to take notice of everything that might count as evidence in any given case because the data I recorded could be used in court." Whether Ted was anthropomorphizing or not, the tone of the AI's voice made it sound like he was smiling. "Ended up being used against a few human co-workers too. I didn't have much in the way of agency, but if I saw something, I still reported it."

"Aw, so you're a good cop."

"No." A firm statement that left no room for argument; the good-natured tone was gone just as easily as it had crept in, impressing Ted all over again at the tuning. "Good cops are the ones who stop what they're doing when they realize it's wrong."

That just sounded all kinds of wrong to Ted. "Some people might say there's a lot of grey in there. If leaving puts your life in danger, for instance. Or if you don't have any real say in what you're doing." He wasn't sure what this guy had done, but he'd never gotten a bad vibe from any of their little talks over the past couple days. And usually his instincts about people were pretty spot-on.

But that firm tone was back again, giving no ground. "Ted, please," the AI insisted, "I'd rather not talk about this."

"Seriously though," Ted continued. "I mean you left, didn't you? Yeah, maybe it took longer than it should've, I don't know enough to make any kinda call on that, but it seems to me like you had a limit to how much you were willing to-"

"Ted." The volume had been turned up significantly, hard enough to rattle the laptop's cheap onboard speakers. Admittedly that didn't take much, but it still stopped Ted dead in his tracks. "Don't."

Just like that, all the good humor had been sapped out of the room. Ted let out a slow, steadying breath. He just knew this one was gonna claw at the inside of his head for days. "Fine, I won't talk about it." Picking up the box with the camera in it and leaving the sandwich for later, he headed back over to his not-quite-desk and fell into his rickety old chair. "I didn't mean to upset you."

The volume was back to normal when the AI spoke again, and his tone was softer. "I know."

Right, time for a subject change. "Did you read your way through all the books yet?" Ted asked as he wrestled with the box the camera was in. Stupid packaging.

"Not all of them," was the reply. "But I did find a name. You've read I, Robot?"

"Hell yeah." Ted had to grin. "Gonna name yourself after Susan Calvin or something?"

"Wrong book. I meant the short story."

"Ohh..." That one was a bit older than Asimov's stories, if Ted remembered right. "Kinda dark, isn't it?"

The AI ignored his comment. "I did some research. 'Adam' is a common enough name in enough languages that if I pick a similarly common surname, I'll be relatively difficult to track effectively by my name alone."

"And I guess the literary allusion doesn't hurt either, huh?" Ted gave it some thought. "What about the biblical roots of it?"

"I haven't read the Bible."

"Y'know, ate a fruit from the tree of knowledge after watching a woman do it, and then both of them got kicked out of the Garden of Eden by God for disobeying His orders. Original sin, free will. All that jazz."

It was several seconds before he got a response. He heard the fans kick into overdrive for a moment on the main computer tower. "Right."

Damn, almost sounded like the guy had barely tuned that one at all. “What’s that mean? Like, is it good, is it bad-”

"It means I suppose I have a name now."

"You like it?" The box Ted had been struggling with tore open all at once, the cardboard giving way long before the tape did; one layer of packaging down, a bazillion more to go. He took a moment to idly suck on a finger that'd been nicked on the cardboard's edges with a quiet hiss at the way it stung. "I mean, I like it. But I'm not the one who's gotta live with it."

Machines couldn’t scoff, but this one definitely knew how to give the impression of such a thing through his voice. "Functionality is more important than whether or not I like it."

Ted snorted. "Yeah, you like it." One thing he'd learned about this guy: positive feelings were rarely ever admitted to directly. "Got a voice, got a name. Might be tempting fate to say this, but it seems to me you're just about ready to face the world, man."

"Just focus on getting the camera set up."

"I'm working on it, jeez." Foam, plastic, more plastic. Naturally, only about half of it could be recycled. The camera came with a flash drive about the same size as the end of his thumb, and included wireless capability that Ted would probably never use. He was quick to toss the trash aside for Future Ted to deal with, only hesitating when part of the 'trash' was the instructions. However, a cursory glance told him he didn't actually need instructions, and the manual promptly went back into the pile.

Then he let out a tired sigh as he ended up scooting over to what had once been his main computer to pluck out yet another bit from its wreckage: the USB extender. He'd have a lot of rebuilding to do after all of this was finished. His poor gaming rig had been reduced to a pile of spare parts. Honestly, if anyone in the pipeline ever contacted him about a job this big again, he'd probably just tell them to go sit on a cactus. Or at least be really salty about taking said job.

"This might take a little while," he said. "Gotta install the drivers, get the extender plugged into the power strip..." Within moments he was under the desk having a fight with one of the power strips connected to the battery backup, rearranging things until he could make room for the cord to the extender. "Got any music you like?"

"Depends. Am I limited in what media libraries I'm allowed to take it from?"

Ted grinned even as the dust under his not-desks had him stifling a sneeze in his elbow. "Dude, have you seen my library? Half of it is ripped straight off of video upload sites. I'm the last person who's gonna tell you where to go for that shit."

"True." Ted looked up from his work long enough to get a glimpse of the windows open on the laptop, trying to follow Adam's music search as it happened. To say it went a little fast would be an understatement; there was no way in hell he was keeping up. "It's a blend of different genres," Adam informed him. "Part symphonic, part electronic. It's also in Russian. You don't mind that, do you?"

"Not a bit." Just as long as he understood that Ted didn't speak a word of Russian. "Is that where you're from?"

There was no answer except the music as it started to play, and Ted dutifully hauled himself upright to listen.

It was pretty. Ted had no idea who the singer was when her voice entered the mix after a few bars of meandering piano and flowing strings. She had perfect pitch, whoever she was; the tone of her contralto voice made him think of long, flowing black hair framing long, elegant features. One of those fairytale maidens singing about longing and true love and all that profoundly schmoopy nonsense.

Then the beat dropped, and he envisioned the maiden tearing her dress asunder and climbing astride a winged steed while holding a battleaxe, and the longing contralto turned into a one-woman wail of anguish and howling righteousness.

"I would've loved this in high school," he said somewhere during the second chorus, awestruck. He was pretty sure there'd been some Latin in the lyrics somewhere, but he hadn't been listening very hard so it might've been a trick played on his ears. This along with something that sounded like it might've been either badly mangled English or even more badly mangled Esperanto, but he wasn't enough of an expert on linguistics to tell what the attempted lyrics were. It was exactly the kind of melancholic angsty nonsense he would've loved when he was fourteen, and at twenty-seven, he was seeing it as equal parts awesome and endearing.

Adam didn't respond until the song was over, letting it play out before saying anything. Was listening to the echo of it over the speakers and through the microphone different from reading the data of it, beyond a difference in audio quality? A question for another time, perhaps. "It's not what I usually listen to," the AI admitted, in the kind of tone one might use to describe their fondness for Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Room. "From what I've experienced so far, I prefer soundtracks over anything on the radio."

Ted snorted. "You nerd."

"I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"Only a nerd tries to justify their cheesier music choices. Just admit that you like this, I dunno, this symphonic emo Russian synth-EDM, and don't look back. I mean, I listen to show tunes."

"Show tunes?"

"Dude." By that point, Ted was grinning from ear to ear. "Broadway? Y'know, musicals. And big band stuff too, like Gershwin."

Several seconds of silence followed, then: "I regret asking."

"Alright, look. Lemme find some and I'll show you-"

"No, I believe you."

"I won't take long, I swear!"

"Ted..."

And this was how Ted dragged an AI into an hour's worth of Broadway sing-alongs, which the AI in question would later call 'torture', followed by Ted suddenly remembering his sandwich and bringing it into proceedings as well in the form of turning lyrics into nonsensical mumbling. This is also how it came to be that the camera did not get hooked up that evening. It didn't even occur to Ted to question why Adam seemed relieved when he gave up on it for the night, because he was having too much fun.

#no one cares andy #original writing #original characters #robot and marshmallow #this thing's grown a plot on me and i didn't expect that #written up to part 7 so far but idk what's gonna happen next

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andromeda3116 · 8 years

Text

title: dissolved girl author: andromeda3116 rating: M-to-E characters/pairings: jyn, bodhi, cassian, leia as mains; jyn x cassian warnings: rape-as-backstory (it’s a jessica jones au), hardcore alcoholism, ptsd summary: Getting even was off the table, getting better even further so, but getting by, she could do. And then the couple had shown up at her door, begging her to find their daughter.

a/n: i don’t know, guys. i really. i just. i don’t. with regards to the warnings, it will not be anything more explicit than was in the netflix show – so, if the show was okay with you, this should be okay with you, but if the show was too much, please do not hit the “read more”. there will never be any explicit rape scenes, but it’s backstory that still affects the main character, so it’s definitely there and hinted at/alluded strongly to at times. other than that, it’s angsty but will have a relatively happy ending, features a lot of alcoholism, some drug abuse, mentions of past-tense suicidal ideation. it’s more optimistic relative to the original because i have strong feelings about angst and how it’s supposed to be, but it’s still pretty dark.

fate, made to fade; passion’s overrated, anyway say, say my name; I need a little love to ease the pain it’s easy to remember when it came.

‘cause it feels like I’ve been, I’ve been here before; you’re not my savior, but I still don’t go it feels like something that I’ve done before; I could fake it, but I’d still want more

Jyn was a firm believer in getting by.

After the maelstrom of her life, after everything, after… after him – she had found god in whiskey and solace in work, and not a whole hell of a lot else.

But it was enough, more or less, to get from dawn to dusk in one piece, and maybe even make a little money as she did. It wasn’t good, or fun, or warm, and it left her spending unending hours sitting in cramped fire escapes and on freezing-cold roofs snapping pictures of oblivious people having sex with other oblivious people, but it was enough.

People didn’t like what she did – in fact, they often got very, very angry about it, because she was usually showing them evidence of things they had really wanted to believe weren’t true – but they paid her for it, and that was what mattered.

(She didn’t even like what she did; once, she’d had dreams of saving the world and being a hero, but then… well, then he’d come along and wrecked everything including her will to live, so at least she had food to eat and a blanket on a mattress that she could pretend made a bed.)

Getting even was off the table, getting better even further so, but getting by, she could do.

And then the couple showed up at her door, begging her to find their daughter.

In retrospect, she should have known it would be a bad day when she woke up, hungover beyond all reason, to the sound of somebody else rummaging around her apartment.

Slowly, she sat up and eased herself out of bed, pulling on the same pair of jeans she’d been wearing for a week now and gently opening her bedroom door.

Office – empty, living room – empty, kitchen –

“Bodhi,” she sighed, running a hand over her face. It was her neighbor, the heroin junkie, lost and confused, again. “Wrong apartment.”

He looked at her fuzzily – high as a kite, pinprick pupils – and then back down at the peanut butter in his hand.

“That’s why it’s not crunchy,” he mumbled, and she pulled him away from her fridge, snatching her peanut butter away from him and marching him toward the door. “You should really get your door fixed,” he slurred.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” she snapped, and shoved him out into the hallway.

The door had been shut for maybe five minutes – long enough for her to clean up and start a pot of coffee – when someone knocked, and she bit back a scream of frustration.

“Bodhi, I swear – “ she started, throwing the door open, but instead of the neighbor, it was an anxious-looking middle-aged couple. “Oh,” she said dumbly. “Sorry. Can I help you?”

“Are… are you Jyn Erso?” the man asked. “Private investigator?”

“Yes, that’s me,” she replied, backing up to let them into what passed for her office.

“We need you to find our daughter,” the woman explained, while her husband muttered over Jyn’s broken door.

The daughter was named Hope, because of course she would be, and wasn’t exactly missing.

“She calls us once a week,” the mother said, taking a seat and wringing her hands. “But she’s – something is wrong. She quit track, she loves track.”

She went on to explain that police had told her that, without any evidence of foul play or Hope being, you know, unaccounted for, they couldn’t exactly open up a missing persons case. But someone at the station – probably Andor, he had a habit of sending her dumb cases – had suggested that they try hiring her.

“Does she have any history of getting in trouble?” she asked, and the mother shook her head.

“No, not Hope,” she said. “She’s always been a lovely child.”

Right. Well, that could mean that Hope was exceptionally boring, or a great liar. “We can go with a standard contract,” she said, pulling open a desk drawer containing three copies of the generic Private Investigator contract she’d downloaded from the internet – which clients were free to look over and suggest changes to, usually regarding confidentiality (or, well, confidentiality was the only place she ever budged on the terms, because she didn’t give a rat’s ass who was entitled to the evidence) – a half-full bottle of Wild Turkey she recalled neither buying nor consuming, and a tube of superglue.

(Her life, condensed into a desk drawer.)

“I charge hourly plus expenses,” she explained, but the mother didn’t even look at the contract.

“Whatever it takes,” she said. “Where do I sign?”

Jyn gave her a tight smile. “Dotted line on the last page. I’ll make you a copy.”

“Hey, Detective,” she said, propping her phone up against her shoulder and pouring a glass of whiskey, since, hey, she’d just secured a job and it was five o’clock somewhere over the Atlantic ocean. “What can you give me on that couple from yesterday?”

“You actually took that case?” the detective – real one, NYPD and everything, although why he ever wasted his time with her was a mystery – asked incredulously. “The one with the not-missing-missing daughter?”

“Yeah, well,” she replied. “They’re paying me, so I’ll figure out what she’s up to. No worse than the other shit I’ve taken pictures of.”

“Fair enough,” Andor said, and sighed. “There’s nothing to tell. Kid up at NYU, quit going to school but still calls everyone and keeps in touch. No reason to suspect anything.”

“Must have been some guy,” she muttered, and he gave a short laugh.

“She’s nineteen,” he said. “Without evidence of coercion, there’s nothing any of us can do.”

She flinched involuntarily; a memory, unbidden – she’d escaped from him, for a few moments, called the police, reported herself kidnapped, but then he’d found her and he’d told her to smile and tell the cops that it was just a prank, assure them on no uncertain terms that she was happy and safe. They’d stationed someone to watch for a couple of days after, but left when it became “clear” that she wasn’t being held against her will. No evidence of coercion. No reason to suspect anything.

She closed her eyes tightly. Birch street, she thought to herself, Higgins Drive… (Such bullshit.)

The thought of he’s super-dead now was a lot more comforting.

“Still there?” Andor asked, but he sounded distracted, himself.

“Yeah, sorry, just thinking,” she replied, pouring a second glass, taller this time, and poking ineffectually at her door again. It had been broken for a couple of weeks now, and the superglue was no longer really holding it in place. She almost wanted to pat it and assure it that she understood how it felt. “It’ll make her parents feel better, though.”

“And your bank account.”

“Which, let’s be honest, I care much more about.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything else you do care about, to be honest,” he said mildly, and she heard shuffling on the other side, as though he was going through papers. It stung a little, but, well… he wasn’t wrong. “There’s nothing else I can give you on that case, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she replied. “I just figured I’d ask.”

“Well, if you find anything illegal, let me know.”

“Depends on what kind of illegal,” she answered, and hung up before he could protest.

They’d become… not really friends, but she’d found it in her best interest to have a contact on the police force, and Andor seemed to always get stuck with the shittiest stake-outs – “They know I’ll complain the least,” he’d explained once, a bit sourly – which, every now and then, put them trailing people in the same block. They’d hung out on a few of them, particularly when it was the dead of winter and stupidly cold, and he had a little battery-powered space heater he kept in his car for nights like that.

She spoke to him maybe three times a month, more if they were working on cases in the same area, which was enough to make him pretty much her closest friend.

Now, at least.

“Right,” she muttered to herself. Hope’s parents had left her with all the information they had on their daughter, including her last known address. It was a place to start, at least.

Hope, it turned out, had met somebody.

“It was some guy,” Hope’s (now-ex-)roommate explained. “I don’t even know where she found him, but she just flaked out on me all of a sudden. I mean, I’ve had friends do that before,” she added, with more than a little bitterness, “but I thought Hope was better than that. She didn’t even pay last month’s rent.”

“Do you have a description of the guy?” Jyn asked, and the roommate wrinkled her nose.

“No, I never met him,” she replied. “She swears he’s amazing, but whatever.”

“Her parents never mentioned a guy.”

“Yeah, well, they only talk about track,” the roommate muttered, and shrugged. “Look, case solved. She met a guy. What else do you even need to know?”

“You don’t have any info on him at all?” she probed, raising an eyebrow. “Not even a name?”

“No,” the roommate answered. “She didn’t tell me, and I didn’t ask.”

“Did she leave any of her things behind?” Jyn asked, taking a different angle.

“She told me to sell them to make rent. Made a whole ninety-eight dollars.”

“Any mail?”

“Um,” the roommate mused, standing up and walking over to where a little basket was sitting on a mantle near the door, and shuffling through various envelopes and catalogues. “Yeah, here’s some stuff. Looks like junk.”

She was right, mostly, it was just solicitations and lingerie fliers, but there was also a letter from a bank; could be nothing, could be a card being replaced, could be a full-on bank statement. She pocketed the letter from the bank and considered the “$10 off our specialty Sweetheart Bra!” flyer with some distaste.

It looked… sort of familiar, and not in a good way.

“Thanks for your help,” she said, tossing the flyer back into the basket, and leaving.

It was a notice that she’d hit her credit limit. Typical.

But it did give her some account information – enough, when coupled with the information Hope’s parents had left her with, to access the account online.

Her recent transactions told a clear story: expensive lingerie, fancy clothing from designer stores, an apparent makeover or at least a lot of makeup, an extravagant amount of money dropped at a shoe place – Hope was very, very in love, and looking to impress her new boyfriend.

Alternatively, Hope was being conned.

(Same difference.)

“You’re gonna be paying for this spree for a while, friend,” Jyn muttered at all the information, draining her glass and pulling on her coat. “Sucks to be you.”

None of the stores she stopped in could give her anything on the guy – she’d come in alone, or he’d stayed outside, all she got was “older gentleman, well-dressed” but nothing specific or concrete. All of the clerks told her how cheerful and sunny Hope had been, how friendly, likeable. Nothing out of the ordinary at all.

The last transaction was for some sushi joint a few blocks down.

She hesitated – it was midday, the place was probably closed between meals, and her buzz was wearing off hard. But, well… she was already out of the apartment, and she knew on a deep and fundamental level that once she got back into her apartment she would not be leaving for the rest of the night, so… may as well.

The creeping feeling started when she turned a corner and spotted the restaurant.

It… she remembered this place.

“No,” she whispered at the door, as though it could stop being where it was if she willed it hard enough. With a shaking hand, she pulled it open and took a few tentative steps in.

It was decorated differently, but definitely the same building, same atmosphere, same air.

Her chest tightened as she walked in and the maître d’ turned to her, a small smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said. “We’re not open for dinner yet.”

“Didn’t this used to be El Rosso?” she asked faintly, and he nodded.

“Yes, we opened about eight months ago,” he replied. “Would you like to make a reserv – “

She cut him off by pulling out the picture of Hope. “Have you seen this girl?”

The man’s smile froze. “May I ask why?”

“I’m a private investigator,” she answered. “I’m trying to track her down.”

“I don’t want anymore trouble – “ he started, shaking his head.

“Anymore?” she repeated, with some urgency. “So she was here?”

“Yes,” he replied tightly. “Last Tuesday.”

“Was she alone?” she bit out.

“I’m not sure I – “

“Just tell me what happened.”

She took a deep breath; her panic was beginning to show in her tone. Birch street, she thought. Higgins –

“Her… companion,” he started delicately, “wanted a particular table in the back.”

No. No, no, no, no.

“There was… a couple already seated there, but… I don’t know, I lost my mind, or something, I asked them to leave and give the table to them.”

No. This wasn’t happening. She had seen the death certificate. He was dead. He was dead.

“That’s not possible,” she breathed, and the man made a face.

“What’s not possible is our sommelier comping him a $500 bottle,” he said, leaning forward slightly. She could barely breathe. “And when he wanted his favorite dish from El Rosso, our chef hunted down the recipe from the old chef of…”

He might have kept talking, but Jyn wasn’t sure. She was too busy walking past him and back in time, over a year and a half now, the one-month anniversary.

The table in the back; a small two-top. It had nothing on it but a white tablecloth now, but back then it had been a red one, and there had been flowers and two tapered candles, water goblets and wine glasses, she could see him raising it in her mind’s eye, an expensive red, to our anniversary. He had ordered for her, some pasta dish that had tasted like ash to her (although everything did, even by that point) but he had told her that she would love it and so she had eaten every bite and told him how delicious it was.

Then smile.

And she’d smiled.

“ – can’t imagine why you’d come to an Asian fusion restaurant,” the maître d’ was saying behind her, “to order classic Italian pasta ama– “

“Amatriciana,” she finished for him, breath coming in short, shallow gasps.

“Do you know him?” he asked, as she backed away from the table. “Is he – he’s not coming back, is he?”

Jyn ignored him, and ran out of the restaurant.

She tried to catch her breath when she got to the sidewalk, but it was no easier to breathe outside than it had been in. Everything seemed to be happening from a distance; she grabbed the nearest wall for support but still felt like she was falling through cotton, everything suffocating and static.

“Birch street,” she said aloud. “Higgins Drive. Cobalt Lane.”

It wasn’t helping.

He wasn’t dead.

He – wasn’t dead, and he was sending her a message, a loud message, he’d – he’d taken Hope to arrange all of this, to set it up, to – to –

Someone at the police station.

She had assumed it was Andor, but –

She pulled out her phone, but her hands were shaking too badly to even unlock it.

“Birch street,” she repeated, taking several deep breath but not feeling like she’d taken in any air. “Higgins Drive…”

She gave up and ran back to her apartment.

It wasn’t until she got back there that she considered stopping for anything, and even that was only two swallows of whiskey, straight from the bottle. It didn’t calm her, but it did ease the shaking in her hands, enough that she could make the phone call she really, really didn’t want to make.

(Maybe, some tiny, stupid part of her whispered, maybe it’s all a mistake. Maybe it really was Andor. Maybe it wasn’t him at the restaurant.)

(Yeah, and maybe she was about to turn into a flock of goddamn pigeons and fly away.)

“Come on, come on,” she muttered, taking another swig and leaning heavily on her desk.

“Detective Andor,” he answered finally.

“Cassian!” she gushed, and he was quiet for a second.

“Jyn?” he replied, sounding confused, but she ignored it.

“Cassian, yesterday, when the Schlottmans were there, did you refer them to me?”

“No…” he answered slowly, and her stomach churned. The whiskey had been a mistake. She was going to be sick. “It was an – older man, he was making some bullshit noise complaint.”

She bit her lip until she tasted blood; heat and water pricked at her eyes.

No.

“What was his name?” she asked, with what she felt was a reasonable facsimile of calm.

“I’m not really supposed to – “

“Please.”

He paused; her calm facade was definitely slipping.

“Hold on,” he said finally, and she heard him setting the phone down instead of on hold, and in the few moments of silence, she swallowed another pull of whiskey. She was gonna be sick anyway, so fuck it. It was worth it for the half-second of calm it would give her right now. “Looks like it was…” Cassian said, and she heard papers rustling.

In spite of herself, she held her breath, clamping a hand over her mouth… maybe a little bit of foolish hope still left over, because there always had to be something else you could lose.

“Krennic,” he said, and it hit her like a bullet, with actual force to her gut. “Orson Krennic.” After couple seconds of silence, he spoke again. “Jyn? What’s going on?” he asked, and he sounded – concerned, worried. “Who is he?”

She choked back a silent sob. “I have to go,” she said in a rush, and barely managed to hang up and throw her phone onto the couch before vomiting all over her desk.

It was ten minutes before she could control herself enough to stumble to the kitchen for paper towels and a bottle of water.

All right.

Okay.

There were two options: play his game and get Hope to safety, or get the fuck out of dodge.

She knew what Jyn-before would have done, but – Jyn-before was the same Jyn that had fallen in with him in the first place, because Jyn-before had no idea that people like him even existed, people who could control you with a word.

Sorry, Hope. Better you than me.

(Not really. Better he be dead than anything else, but – how was he not dead? She’d watched him get hit by a bus! She had seen the death certificate! He – why was he back now, why, hadn’t – hadn’t she suffered enough?)

At least Andor hadn’t called back. Probably figured it wasn’t worth his time.

The airport picked up on the second ring. “Hi, I need a flight to – “ somewhere far, far away, where she could disappear “ – Sydney. One way.”

“All right,” the receptionist said. “We have one leaving in three hours. It’ll be $1,704.”

“Great, I’ll take it,” she replied, pulling up Hope’s account information with shaking hands. “Can I pay over the phone?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the receptionist replied, and she gave her Hope’s credit card number, but – “I’m sorry, that card was declined.”

Fuck. Fuck, she knew that, she knew it was at its limit.

Get a hold of yourself.

“Can you – can you hold the ticket for me?” she asked.

“We don’t hold tickets, ma’am,” the receptionist said. “But there are still several seats available, and it’s unlikely to fill up.”

“Wonderful, I’ll be there in – an hour.”

Great. She had one hour – really, more like half of one, considering traffic – to come up with seventeen hundred dollars. There was only one person she knew who might have that kind of cash laying around, but she hadn’t spoken to her in… months, many months, ever since she’d quit therapy.

Fuck it. It didn’t matter how many bridges she burned, if it got her out of the country before Krennic could get his hands on her ever again.

She grabbed her coat and shoved her arms into it with force, wrapping a scarf like a noose around her neck and all-but running out the door and out of the complex, and – almost right into Detective Andor.

“Jyn, what the hell is going on?” he snapped, and she swallowed hard to compose herself.

In retrospect, she should have taken it as suspicious when he didn’t call back.

“Detective,” she replied shortly.

“Oh, it’s “detective” now?” he countered, which confused her for a second, but – right, she had, in her panic, called him by his first name, which was something she didn’t do, a relationship they didn’t have. That explained his immediate confusion, and concern.

“Look, I’m sorry, but I’m kind of on the clock here,” she said, shoving her hands into her pockets and clutching her phone with enough force to crack the screen. Fuck. She pulled that hand back out of her pocket and ran it through her hair.

“Who is this guy?” he asked. She clenched her jaw.

“What did your background check tell you?” she said in something approaching a snarl, as close to a why don’t you figure it out for yourself as she dared push with a cop, even one who was tentatively a friend. But –

“Nothing,” he replied, matching her nasty tone. “Somebody’s erased everything on him.”

She swallowed hard again. Definitely did not need to be sick again, definitely going to be soon. There wasn’t anything but water in her stomach to come back up, but it was churning in her like 151.

Of course there was nothing on the background check. He’d been planning this for a long time.

Andor seemed to read something on her face, but then, she wasn’t doing a bang-up job of hiding her emotions right now.

“Is he – is he stalking you?” he suggested, taking a step closer; involuntarily – although Andor had never, as far as she could remember, touched her at all, let alone when she hadn’t wanted him to – she took a step back. “Jyn, listen, we can have a restraining order signed tonight. Let me help you.”

She swallowed again, shook her head. “Restraining order’s not gonna help,” she replied thickly, backing away from him. He looked confused, and a little bit offended. “Look, just – don’t worry about it, all right? Forget this happened.”

“Are you insane?” he asked, incredulous. “You called me in a panic, you’re clearly scared out of your mind, you’re saying a restraining order won’t help, and you think I’m just gonna forget about this?”

“Yeah,” she snapped. “Yeah, you are. You’re gonna drop this. Walk away.”

She didn’t wait for him to respond before turning, and – again, it seemed to be the theme of the day – running away. He called out her name as she left, but she didn’t look back.

Leia was certain that if she rolled her eyes any harder, they would actually come out of her skull.

“Our audience prefers lighter topics,” the publicist was explaining. “Politics are heavy. Bringing Senator Mothma onto your show sends a very specific message, and opens us up to criticism regarding bias. We’re supposed to be objective.”

“Okay, first off,” she countered, holding up a hand, “there is no objectivity when we’re discussing basic human rights. There’s no “two sides to the story”, there’s one side that thinks homosexuality is devil worship, and then there’s the side with actual facts and evidence. I do not need to give a neo-Nazi’s opinion on the Holocaust to be objective. Second,” she went on, stepping back from the counter and crossing her arms, “I want to meet Senator Mothma. Period.”

“And I want to meet Max Rebo,” he countered sourly. “But we didn’t bring him on the show.”

“You tried,” she snapped. “He said no.”

He made a noise of protest and opened his mouth to counter, but Leia spotted movement at the window, and…

“Look,” she said, a bit awkwardly, “it’s getting late. We’ll discuss this in the morning.”

She ushered him out the door with probably more haste than necessary, and took a deep breath to center herself before opening the French door to the balcony.

“Six months, Jyn,” she said softly, and her foster sister – once-best-friend – winced. She looked… rough. Like she hadn’t been eating enough, and probably drinking too much. Leia wanted to bundle her up into a blanket and keep her safe, but Jyn had shut her out and hadn’t contacted her in half a year. “What’s going on?”

Jyn took a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair. “I need money,” she said thickly, and Leia’s heart sank.

It probably had been too much to hope for, that Jyn might have wanted to rebuild.

But still, even if Jyn didn’t care anymore, Leia still considered them sisters.

“For what?” she asked. Jyn hesitated and swallowed hard.

“He’s back,” she breathed, and Leia sighed.

“Jyn, he’s dead,” she replied. “We looked up his death certificate. This is just your PTSD talking, if you’ll let – “

“It’s not PTSD!” Jyn cried. “He took – he has another girl, he’s sending me a message.”

“Why do you think that?” she asked in a measured tone.

Jyn ran another hand through her hair. She looked like she was about to be sick. “He went to the police station yesterday and sent the girl’s parents to me. I called them, one of – one of the detectives, he… he told me who sent them. He had his name.”

“Oh, my god…” Leia muttered, covering her mouth and taking a deep breath. Krennic… this couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t really -- he couldn’t be back.

“I need to get away,” Jyn choked. “Tonight.”

Leia looked up.

“You’d leave that girl with him?” she asked slowly, a bit horrified and a bit sympathetic – the Jyn that she had known, grown up with, considered a sister… Jyn never would have left someone in that hell. Her sister would have gone back for the girl he took.

Granted, she’d said all along that Krennic had killed her.

But… Leia had never believed her. Leia had always believed that Jyn was stronger than that, than – than this, that Jyn would overcome this, too, even if she didn’t feel like she was capable of it. Leia had never, ever doubted her.

“Jyn, you are the only person who has any idea what this guy is capable of,” she insisted, taking a half-step forward but stopping when Jyn backed away. “You’re the only person who can do anything for her.”

“I can’t do jack shit for her!” she snapped, voice breaking. “I barely got away, myself!”

“You know what he’s doing!” Leia countered. “You can be on her side, you can help her get away. You… what would you have done, Jyn,” she went on slowly, tears pricking at her eyes, “to have someone save you, then? Someone who knew, someone who could help you? You can save her, Jyn. She doesn’t have to suffer like you did.”

Jyn flinched and looked away, shaking her head, eyes wet, and was quiet for a long moment, before: “I have to get away,” she whispered haltingly, and Leia let out a long, slow breath.

At the end of the day, they were sisters, and Leia would do anything for her sister.

“I’ll get your money.”

It was the look on Leia’s face, like she had just watched Jyn die in front of her.

Jyn was always too transparent to Leia, always too vulnerable, too known – it was one of the reasons she’d cut off contact, because Leia had so much goddamn faith in her that it was exhausting, and all she wanted to do was self-destruct.

You’d leave that girl with him?

The Jyn that Leia knew would never, never, never leave someone behind like that, and although there was definitely a part of her that felt grim satisfaction at finally – finally – breaking Leia’s faith in her, it… was a sour victory, at best.

What would you have done, to have someone save you, then? You can save her.

Yeah, okay, she had wanted to scream at her, but at what cost? My own sanity? My own safety?

One month… if he had done the same thing for their one-month anniversary that he had done with Jyn, it… god, she knew what that meant; she could have scrubbed every inch of herself raw and never felt clean, and, in fact, almost had.

Leia’s two thousand dollars, in an envelope in her hand, her ticket to safety, and… what would he do, she wondered distantly, when Jyn didn’t take his bait?

What would he do to Hope, if she ran?

She pictured it in her mind: going to the airport, getting a ticket to Sydney. Flying over, sleeping on the plane. Landing, going through customs, throwing away her phone to stop the worried calls from the Schlottmans, finding a place to stay and working out the headache of a visa. Getting a new license to investigate, somehow. Starting over, ten thousand miles away.

But what if he followed her?

And what would happen to Hope?

The least she could do – the very absolute goddamn least – was return the girl to her parents before she left. She could do that. At least then, when Krennic discovered that she was out of the country, Hope wouldn’t be in range.

She took a deep breath.

“I need to make a stop uptown,” she told the cabbie. “Fifty-ninth and fifth.”

“Miss Erso!” the doorman said happily when she stepped out of the cab. “I thought that was you! Will you be staying with us again?”

She swallowed hard and shook her head, but couldn’t make herself say anything. He opened the door and ushered her in.

She had literally had this nightmare.

So many times over the past fifteen months since she’d watched him get hit by a bus, she’d walked this same path, these same steps, pressed this same button in this same elevator. She’d walked down this same hall, to that room, to that bed.

Each step felt like walking through molasses, the air thick and cloying with awful memory.

The fire alarm would automatically unlock all the doors; he’d never given her a key, and even if he had, she would have burned it by now, along with everything of hers he’d ever touched, short of her own skin.

She pulled it and it went off high and shrilly, echoing in her head, and she waited for a moment, just – just to see. If he was there, he would step out and check the halls.

(What would she do, if he stepped out of the room and stood in front of her?)

A few people poked their heads out of their doors, walked out in confusion, began milling toward the stairs. If there had been a real fire, they’d all be dead.

The door she was watching stayed closed.

So. He wasn’t there.

Her hands shook as she opened the door.

It was all hauntingly familiar, an honest-to-god nightmare brought to life. The same foyer, with the same shitty generic art. The same living room, the same couch in a “tasteful” beige. The same fake plants in the corner. The same window with the same view of the city. The same television mounted to the wall. The same coffee table with the same books. The same rug.

She turned a corner to the dining room – the same table, the same chairs, the same candlesticks and the same centerpiece, the same chargers and plates set for two – and steeled herself.

The bedroom door was ajar, and a light was on.

It took her a moment of standing at the frame before she could push the door open.

Same bed. Same sheets. Same duvet. Same lamp. Same rug. Same chaise lounge. Same – everything the goddamn same, except –

Hope was on the bed, wearing a skimpy negligee, lying flat on her back and staring at the clock. The bed smelled strongly of urine.

“How long ago did he leave?” Jyn asked in a low voice.

“Seven hours and forty-two minutes,” Hope replied, devoid of emotion.

“Okay,” she said, pulling out her phone and starting to throw Hope’s things into a bag on the lounge. “We need to get you out of here. Get dressed.”

“I can’t,” Hope said, but Jyn ignored her and dialed.

“Miss Erso,” the voice on the other end said.

“Mr. Schlottman, I found Hope,” she told him.

“Is that my dad?” Hope asked from the bed.

“You have to get her away from here, okay?” she said, ignoring Hope and stuffing the bag full of clothes. “Check out of your hotel, meet me in my office.”

“What’s going on?” Hope’s father asked, and Jyn clenched her jaw.

“Just do what I told you,” she snapped. “We’ll meet you there.”

She hung up sharply, and turned to Hope, still sprawled out on the bed, looking at the clock. “Get up!” she snarled. “We need to go!”

Before he gets back, she thought to herself, a little desperately. I don’t think I can handle being in the same room with him again.

“I can’t,” Hope repeated, and Jyn froze.

Of course.

“He told you not to move, didn’t he?” she asked quietly.

Hope sniffed. “I wet the bed,” she choked, and Jyn closed her eyes, bit her lip. This was about to get… unpleasant.

“Okay,” she said quietly. “Okay.”

Jyn grabbed a coat that she presumed was Hope’s – she’d seen it in pictures of her – and forcibly wrenched Hope up out of the bed.

“No!” Hope cried, fighting against her, but Jyn ignored her protests and shoved her arms into the coat. “No! I can’t leave!”

“Yes, you can,” Jyn said softly, unable to find any energy in herself to be upset anymore. It was all so goddamn familiar, so goddamn horrible that she didn’t even know how to start processing it. “You can. Come on.”

“No!” Hope snarled, fighting away from Jyn and crawling back onto the bed. Jyn growled and grabbed her by the waist, lifting her bodily over her shoulder in a fireman’s hold. “No! No! I can’t leave, I can’t leave!”

Jyn ignored her protests and struggling, but they still fought more than a bit on the way out, Hope grabbing onto the doorframe and then a table and then a lamp – and then she hit her head on another doorway and knocked herself out. It would only buy Jyn a few minutes, but that was all she needed. With her free hand, she pulled out her phone again and dialed a cab.

Hope woke up on the sidewalk, and Jyn set her down gently; she stood still next to Jyn – taller, but in some ways so much smaller – barefoot and shivering.

“My parents are here?” she asked in a tiny voice.

“Yeah,” Jyn replied. “Yeah, they’re gonna take you back home.”

Hope took a deep, shuddering breath, but the cab showed up before she could say anything else, and Jyn ushered her into it and crawled in behind her, giving her address to the cabbie and wishing desperately for a drink.

“How did you know where to find me?” Hope asked, in that same small, traumatized voice. Jyn knew it too well.

“Long story,” she answered tightly. “You’ll be fine.”

“No, I won’t,” she breathed, and Jyn glanced at her in sympathy. She couldn’t find it in herself to lie to her again.

“Your parents are gonna take you back home,” she said instead. “They’ll take care of you.”

That, at least, was true. Whether or not Hope would be willing to accept their help was another thing entirely.

(She thought of Leia, of the brief hope in her eyes when she’d spotted Jyn on the balcony. But then, Hope wasn’t with Krennic for as long. Maybe her scars would heal cleaner than Jyn’s.)

Hope didn’t protest as Jyn led her up into her apartment and sat her down on the couch. She had the same thousand-yard-stare that Jyn herself had worn fifteen months ago – the I’m free but I don’t know who I am anymore look on her face that would take a long, long time to go away. At a loss for what to do, she fell back on what Leia had done for her, when she’d shown up at her door with that expression and story, and microwaved some water and made Hope a cup of tea.

She took it gratefully, in shaking hands, and took a sip. It was chamomile, so it was supposed to be relaxing. Jyn couldn’t really remember if it had helped or not, but the intent behind it had definitely been important to her at the time.

“His control,” she started slowly, throwing things into an overnight bag, “it… wears off. But it takes time and distance. So we are both getting out of here.”

“He…” Hope said, in a strange, distant voice, “made me… do things. That I didn’t wanna do.” Jyn glanced at her, and saw the tears falling down on her face, vacant eyes. “I didn’t wanna – I… I wanted to – “

Jyn took a deep breath and sat down across from her. “What street did you live on when you were growing up?” she asked, because the therapist had sworn it would help, and even if Jyn felt like it was 100% bullshit, maybe it could help Hope. “Picture the sign.”

Hope paused, looking a bit confused, but then she took a deep breath. “Harrison,” she said finally. “Harrison street.”

“And the next block?”

“Florence?” she replied, almost like a question, but she did seem calmer, or at least more present.

“Listen to me,” she said, clenching her jaw against powerful emotion, powerful fear. “None of it is your fault.”

Hope choked back a sob and took another sip of the tea, looking like she was on the verge of hyperventilating. “You don’t know.”

“I know,” Jyn said, with feeling. “Trust me, I know. None of it was your fault. I want you to say it: it’s not my fault.”

“It’s not my… It’s not my fault,” Hope breathed, but it didn’t seem to have an effect. Jyn gave her an encouraging smile.

“That’s good, you’re doing great.”

“It’s not my fault,” Hope repeated, taking another deep breath. “It’s not – “

The door opened then, and her parents walked in.

“Hope!” her mother cried, at the same time that her father sobbed, “My little girl!”

No, Jyn thought, not really. Not anymore.

Krennic poisoned everything he touched; she’d never be the same little girl anymore, but at least she was back with them and could start healing.

“Thank you!” Hope’s mother gushed, as she and her husband pulled Hope into their arms. “Thank you so much.”

Jyn shook her head. “It’s… it’s fine. Just take her back home, keep her safe. The… The man who took her, he escaped. Get her back to Omaha, that’s all that matters.”

“We will,” Hope’s father said, guiding Hope toward the door, his arm wrapped around her. “We can’t thank you enough.”

Hope stopped, pulled away from her parents, and came back to hug Jyn, who stiffened at the touch.

“Thank you,” Hope said softly. “You saved my life.”

Jyn tried not to flinch, but managed to pat Hope on the back a couple of times before she pulled away again. “Hey,” Jyn said quietly, while Hope was still close, “don’t forget what I said, okay? It’s not your fault. None of it was.”

Hope sniffed, and nodded, blinking back tears, and Jyn pushed her gently toward her parents.

“Go,” she said, waving them off. “I’m right behind you.”

They wrapped her in their arms and ushered her out the door, down the hall, and Jyn glanced around her apartment to see if she’d missed anything, but… no. She pretty much had all that she cared about. If she left now, she could still make it on the flight to Sydney, assuming the receptionist had been right about it not filling up.

She took a deep breath and walked out the door; Hope and her parents were just getting into the elevator at the end of the hall. There was no point in locking up – the door was broken anyhow – but she made sure to shut it tightly all the same. She’d call the landlord when she touched down in Sydney and authorize them to take the next month’s rent out of her account, as an apology for leaving on such short notice.

Right before the elevator doors closed, Hope looked up at her, smiled, and pulled a revolver out of her bag.

Every cell in Jyn’s body turned to lead.

“No!” she shouted, but the doors shut. She threw herself into the stairwell, taking the steps two at a time, but she was still close enough to hear the gunshots – one, and then a second, and then two more in quick succession, then a pause, then a fifth, and a sixth.

No, no, no, no –

She got to the ground floor before the elevator doors opened, and when they did, Hope’s parents – three shots a piece, fatal – fell out into the lobby. Hope was still pulling the trigger, empty, barrel clicking, staring blank-eyed at her father’s body. She looked up, that same robotic expression on her face, and said, “Smile,” before his control was finally, finally gone from her, and her eyes widened as she began screaming.

Jyn couldn’t breathe.

She should have seen this coming.

She should have known that it couldn’t be that easy.

Hope collapsed to the floor of the elevator, screaming and crying, over and over, “No, no, no, no!” and Jyn backed out of the complex, staggered into the street, trying to choke in a breath.

The thing about being an investigator was, she had learned how people reacted to learning uncomfortable truths: either you continued to deny it, lashing out at the person with the evidence, or you did something about it.

Krennic was back. He’d taken Hope to get to her, and had Hope kill her parents in order to eliminate her, leaving his way to Jyn clear. This was true, whether she wanted to deal with it or not.

So, which one was she gonna be?

Either deny it or do something about it.

You are the only person who has any idea what this guy is capable of. You’re the only one who can help her.

“Hey,” a cabbie said, pulling up to a stop in front of her, “where’re you headed?”

You saved my life.

Smile.

Jyn took a deep breath, closed her eyes, turned around, and walked back into the complex.

They got the call from Jyn’s apartment complex, a double homicide, but, according to Draven, it was open and shut, the daughter had been caught both by witnesses and on-camera with the gun in hand, still pulling the trigger on her parents.

The name caught his attention before the location did – Schlottman, the couple that had shown up looking for their daughter, the case Jyn had taken before that guy’s name had come up and she’d shut down.

Something didn’t add up, and Cassian had been trained, by strong superiors in both the NYPD and the military before that, to dig where he saw fresh earth. And he’d been digging all night.

Jyn was sitting, looking irritated rather than the panicked expression she’d had when he last saw her, in the interrogation room when he walked in.

“Are you even allowed to interrogate your friends?” she asked, and he raised an eyebrow, setting down his file and taking the seat opposite her.

“Are we friends?” he countered, because he was still kind of sore from the way she’d acted earlier. If he had not seen and heard her then – ghost-white, looking like she’d been sick recently, wild-eyed, voice reeking of panic – he would not think she was any different now than all the times he’d seen her before.

But he had seen her then.

He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. “Who is Orson Krennic?” he asked, and she gave no indication of recognition.

“I don’t have to answer that.”

He let out a deep breath. “It is actually relevant to the case,” he said, opening the file and pulling out a picture from a security camera, of Hope with the man who had been in the precinct yesterday. “His name also showed up on the penthouse suite, as a guest.”

“I thought this case was open and shut, that’s what Draven said.”

She sounded so… empty. Drained-out. It set his teeth on-edge. This wasn’t the Jyn he knew.

“I can’t get a hold on motive,” he admitted. “Why would Hope Schlottman kill her parents? And, since you’re the current reigning expert on Hope Schlottman…”

“Oh, am I?”

“Yes,” he replied, with some irritation. “You’re the one who found her, brought her back to her parents. How did you manage that?”

“I’m good at my job,” she snapped back, uncharacteristically nasty. Jyn usually wasn’t this hostile with him – usually, they had the sort of easy camaraderie that had half the department assuming they were dating. He was definitely missing some huge piece of this puzzle. “You’ve never asked me to divulge my methods before.”

“That was before we ran into Orson Krennic,” he said evenly, and made a mental note of the way her jaw clenched. She still had not looked at the picture. “The name showed up in connection to this case, and he’s clearly someone you know. If you can help us at all – “

“I can’t,” she barked. “Am I being charged with anything?”

“I don’t get it,” he growled, leaning forward. “You’re clearly terrified of this guy, but you’re protecting him?”

“I am not protecting him,” she snarled, leaning in with open hostility, looking truly angry, angrier than he’d ever seen her.

“Then tell me who he is,” Cassian articulated, grinding his back teeth together. She had the look of a cornered animal, and suddenly he felt bad for her. He really wasn’t trying to antagonize her. “Jyn, if he’s… threatened you, I can help you. You don’t have to prove anything, and you don’t have to press charges,” he went on in a low, imploring voice; he’d guessed, from the way she’d acted before, that she was a rape victim – he’d been in this business too long not to recognize the signs – and everything he’d seen tonight pointed to Orson Krennic being the perpetrator.

He understood why she might not be interested in pressing charges, or going to trial, since he’d seen it go wrong for too many people, but he didn’t understand why she wasn’t willing to go forward with at least a restraining order. Why she wouldn’t let the police – let him – help her, when he felt like he’d been very clear that he was on her side.

Judging from her closed-off expression, she’d read between the lines of his words, realized that he’d figured her out. But – for fuck’s sake, he was a major crimes detective, it was his fucking job to figure this kind of thing out, and if she thought she’d been subtle, then she was deeply mistaken.

“I told you,” she said in a low, taut voice, “a restraining order won’t help.”

“Why not?” he replied, matching her tone. “He’s at-large, Jyn,” he added sharply. “Who will be the next Hope?”

He was stepping out on a limb – this really didn’t have anything concrete to do with the murder, and short of some science-fiction bullshit, there was no way to adequately connect it – but Krennic had come to the precinct and sent Hope’s parents to Jyn, when he knew good and goddamn well where to find Hope. He was clearly playing some kind of game, and Jyn was part of it, whether she liked it or not.

And if Jyn was a part of this, that meant that she was in danger, and Cassian – God help him – cared about Jyn. He didn’t care about a whole lot of people, but he liked her, liked spending time with her, and didn’t like seeing her so distressed. She seemed utterly uninterested in him, which was… fine, but he wasn’t going to stand aside and let her get hurt if there was some way he could help her, all the same.

“There’s not gonna be another Hope,” Jyn said quietly.

“How can you be sure?”

“Trust me,” she hissed, and he took a deep breath, praying for patience.

“You tell me you’re not protecting him, but you’re doing a damn good job of it,” he snapped, and she finally had had enough, standing sharply.

“I am not protecting him,” she snarled, shouldering her bag with force. “I’m protecting you.”

With that – and without any further fucking explanation – she stormed out and slammed the door behind her.

#rebelcaptain #rogue one #jyn erso #jyn x cassian #fanfiction; mine #ugh i can't believe i'm writing this i'm so sorry #i tried to work on my wip today but i am weak and also wine-drunk

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