Tumgik
#this had been sitting on my computer for a long time
ohtobeleah · 2 days
Note
touch starved Logan with a physical touch reader… yeah….
Touch Starved is a good way to describe Logan in two words. I think after so many years of only ever being touched when someone was trying to inflict some sort of physical pain on him, he just decides touch isn't something he's inherently interested in. It's worth more trouble than its worth seeking.
But I can see it now. Logan would be sitting on the floor with his back against the couch. Your legs, are spread on either side of him as you sit on top of the very couch that Logan spends most of his nights on.
“Can I let you in on a secret?” You coo all the while you card your fingers through Logan's hair. Your hands tend to wander absentmindedly down his next and to his exposed shoulders from time to time.
“Huh?” Logan barely hears you speak. He's so tuned out right now. He's floating on cloud nine because he's never had a massage like this before. One that's so nonchalant. One that's so casual and unintentionally intimate when he lets out a sigh of a moan at your handiwork. “Sure, yeah—sorry, I wasn't here for a moment.” You take it as a compliment while your eyes remain trained on the TV ahead as your hands work magic into Logan's scalp, neck and shoulders.
“That first day,” You begin. “When you came into the cafe looking for Wade but he wasn't around?” Logans listening, he swears. But your touch has always been something that could captivate his every sense and have him completely under your control. He'd never craved something so natural before. Your touch. “I think that's one of my top five days, ever.” You admit.
“How so?” Is all Logans mumbled back. His voice is deep and full of gruff undertones.
“Because I'm just really grateful I got to me you is all,” You shrug. It's not that big of a deal. Whatever you and Logan were was something that wasn't defined by traditional labels. But he knew you loved him. And you knew Logan loved you back. You couldn't explain it, but that mutual understanding that you'd show up for each other when it mattered the most made your heart ache at the thought that until now, Logan never felt that level of love, compassion or understanding. “For the worst Logan, I think you go alright.”
Logan had never had someone in his corner the way he knew you were. And he feels that in every aspect of your relationship. But the thing he notices the most…is your touch. How you aren't afraid to touch him. How you value his body for more than just its mutant abilities. You see him, Logan Howlett, for the man he is and wants to be and not the weapon they designed him to be.
Your hugs ignite his skin like a solar flare. Your kisses, your lips on his, set his heartbeat into overdrive. Sixth gear overdrive. The way you cling to him when you fall asleep at night soothes his soul until he decides the couch is a safer place for him.
The way you weren't afraid to hold his hand when no one had ever done so before made Logan's head spin. His brain couldn't compute the sensation on another persons fingers intertwined with his in the way yours fit so perfectly between his. Like you weren't afraid of what you were arresting your hands on. Adamantium claws.
It wasn't until Logan met you, that he realised just how long it had been since he'd experienced the loving and gentle touch of a woman who truly loved him. And once that thought had materialised, Logan realised further that he'd never actually felt the gentle touch of a woman who loved him…because no woman had ever loved him before. Not like you.
“You’re still betting on losing dogs I see?” The corner of Logan's mouth curved up into a smile when you reach down to wrap your around around his shoulders. His heart skips a single best inside his chest when he felt your lips against his scruff-covered cheek.
“What can I say, I’m always a sucker for a stray.”
Ilya
263 notes · View notes
pinkynana · 2 days
Text
am i the asshole for being possessive about my childhood friend's virginity?
Tumblr media
Summary: It has been awhile since you last met renjun. Perhaps your last encounter was right after graduation. You’re back in your old neighborhood, having drinks with your favorite childhood best friend. And it slipped out of you that you had never had sex, despite a whole semester in college. Renjun took that as an invitation. Afterall, you experienced every one of your firsts with Renjun.
word count: 2k
warnings: noncon to dubcon, dacryphyllia, bondage, possessive renjun, fake sympathy, creampie.
tell me if i missed anything.
It feels good to open up the window and see that familiar face of your best friend since diapers. Renjun was already smiling at you the moment you slid your curtains away. “It’s been so long!” He yelled. He had to, considering the few meters of distance between his window and yours. You noticed that he was still in a suit, probably just got home from some important business. “I know right! Wanna grab some drinks?” 
“Oh, I already have some in my room.” 
“Really? Well in that case..” 
You stepped backwards into your bedroom, just to sprint, jumping out of your window, landing on the roof of Renjun’s first floor. With that safe land, you crawled up to Renjun’s window, welcoming yourself inside as if the room was your own. “Still crazy as always I see.” he giggled. 
“Wouldn't be me if it isn’t crazy.” 
-
Renjun had your first kiss. 
At 16, you still had a crush on Tobey Maguire’s spiderman although Andrew Garfield already had two amazing spiderman movies. You skipped evening class to watch the rerun of the first three spiderman movies. Renjun came with. He didn't have evening class like you did. He didn't need them, he’s smart unlike you. 
Once the movies were over, you refused to go home. You knew you'd earn an earful and maybe some beatings once you get home because your mom would be furious that you had skipped class just to watch movies. Instead, you were at the playground, climbing on the monkey bars. 
“It’s getting late, y’know.” Renjun waited for you, sitting at the swings. “Renjun! Come join me! I feel like Spiderman. Do you think there's a spidergirl out there, maybe?” You never touched a marvel comic, obviously. Renjun huffed when you ignored his comment. He did, however, come towards you. He didn't climb the bars though. He let you have all the fun to yourself. He watched as you hung your feet on the bar as you let your body dangling upside down. You let out a laugh. 
“Wouldn't it be cool to have my first kiss just like the upside down kiss from the movie?” He didn't answer, which concerned you. “Renjun?”
Before you knew it, he cupped your face as he planted a kiss right there where you were hanging your body upside down on the monkey bars. 
The next day you pretended like it never happened and continued being his best friend as usual. 
-
The first time you watched porn, it was with Renjun. You were only 16, receiving a usb drive that may or may not give your computer a virus from a fellow classmate. As soon as your extracurricular activities ended, you ran straight to Renjun’s room. He had gone home earlier as he wasn't involved in the same club as you. You slammed the door shut behind you, hugging your backpack against your chest. 
“What are you doin-”
“Shh!” You locked the door of his bedroom. “Take out your laptop.” you ordered him, walking towards his study desk as your hand took out the pendrive from your bag. you tossed the bag to his bed. Renjun didn't question you when he took out his laptop. He only did when you suddenly plugged in the drive into it without telling you what it was. 
“Hey! What is that?” 
“Porn.” 
“What? Are you serious?” 
“Well, it might not be. I won't take the risk on my laptop though.” He groaned once he figured out your plan. You were afraid that the drive you received might give your laptop a virus so you risked it on his instead. How typical of you. “Why are you interested in that anyway?” The file was right in front of your eyes when he asked that. “Because..” You clicked on the first folder.” “I’m curious.” Renjun rolled his eyes at your answer. He leaned back against his chair as you did what you wanted on his laptop. The video started to play and you took a seat on his bed. You partially heard Renjun saying something to you but you were too focused on the two actors on his screen. You involuntarily gasped when the man inserted his penis into the woman's vagina. The sound out of you made Renjun turn his head and you held a second of eye contact with him. 
That eye contact suddenly made you realize how invasive you were and how intimate this whole action is. You shouldn't be watching porn with Renjun. Sure, he's your best friend but he's still a man. The realization made you stand on your feet, grabbing your backpack with you. 
“I fulfilled my curiosity. Gotta go. Bye!” You wore your backpack as you ran towards his bedroom door to leave. “Wait, what about the drive?!” He yelled as you had already exited the room 
“Keep it!”
-
The first friendship breakup was also with Renjun. You were both 17 when you fought about Renjun’s choice for college. He wanted to try for early admissions while you were still struggling to choose a course, let alone a college to aim for. It was too early to think about life after highschool, according to you. 
Early in the morning, when usually you would either ride on the backseat of Renjun’s bike, you rode on your own bike. You purposely waited for Renjun to come out so it’ll look like you two had coincidentally come out at the same time. You glared at him before you took your seat and started paddling to school. 
What upsetted you more was the fact that Renjun paddled faster as he slid right past you, not even looking your way. 
By the time you arrived at the bike parking, Renjun was seen leaning against the wall, looking like he was waiting for you. That warmed up your heart a bit. You locked your bike in then came to him. “You got something to say to me?” You raised an eyebrow at him, trying to look cool. “Yeah, I got in.” 
Your face dropped. “See you at your graduation, y/n.” 
Truth be told, that was probably your first heartbreak. 
-
You cried in front of Renjun for the first time (not including the time when you were kids) when he actually showed up to your highschool graduation. You didn't look for your parents when you stepped on the stage. Your eyes scanned the audience to look for your best friend who said he'd meet you again today. But he was nowhere to be seen. You tried to brush it off, not letting it ruin your memorable day. As you took a picture with your mom, you see a familiar figure walking towards you, holding a bouquet of flowers. Without even realizing, tears had started to fall from your eyes. You didn't waste any time running to him, giving him a big hug. And he wrapped his arms around you so perfectly too. You sobbed messily in between your tears. 
“We never even said goodbye.. I never even apologized.. I was so immature.. I mean, it was just a few months ago, but still!.. I’m older and wiser now.” You huffed, sobbed, sniffed and maybe even hiccuped. 
Renjun just laughed at your state. You knew that he would forgive you in a heartbeat, as long as you said you were sorry. 
“I’m sorry, Renjun. I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I was such a dick to you, I’m so sorry,” 
-
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry..” Now, he was on top of you with your wrists tied on his bed frame with his neck tie that he was wearing just a few minutes ago. His shirt was unbuttoned and he had taken off your shorts just now. “Renjun, you're being scary..” Without even realizing, tears had started to fall from your eyes. Renjun leaned down to kiss your cheek where your tears ended. 
“I’m sorry, I just..” One of his hands caressed your face while the other started unbuckling his belt. “Please don't be scared of me. I just have to do this. I gotta be your first.” This was nowhere near the Renjun you knew and grew up with. If he was gentle with it, if he was maybe romantic with it, then you would probably allow this to happen. But this isn't the caring gentleman you were best friends with. You had no clue who this man before you was. “Fuck, you look so pretty crying.” You noticed how hard he was once he took his slacks and his boxers off. 
“Renjun, I’m scared.” You whimpered, hoping to gain mercy from him. “No no no no, baby. Don't be scared.” He gave your lips a peck. “Trust me, baby. You trust me, right?” Again, if he had been gentle with you, you probably would have nodded your head. Instead you shook it furiously, “Renjun, please.. I’ll- I’ll suck your cock, or.. or I’ll give you a handjob. Just, please don't fuck me.” 
“No.. please. As much as that sounds tempting, I need to fuck you. I’ve always been your first. Remember? Just trust me.” He wiped away your tears with his thumb. And with that same thumb, he reached down to your pussy as he started to rub your clit in circles, making sure that you’d start to get wet. You squirmed at the pleasure that you wish never came. “There.. See? You like it.” After he was sure you were wet enough, he took your panties off with one swift. 
“Your pussy is excited to see me, baby.” You looked away in embarrassment at his comment. He slid a finger from your hole to your clit, collecting your pussy juice as he licked it off. He then jerked himself off a few times before he aligned his tip on your pussy. “Trust me, okay?” He said before he slid in with a groan. “Perfect fucking pussy.” He moaned. 
At this point, you knew there was no escaping anymore. Might as well enjoy it while it lasted. You closed your eyes shut, trying to imagine that Renjun was someone else. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't think of anyone. Because deep down, you always knew that you had liked Renjun for a long time. Though this wasn't the ideal situation, you always wanted it to happen. More tears started to fall out as you felt ashamed of yourself for feeling good from his thrust. “Fuck.. I get harder the more you cry, baby. You're such a pretty crier.” With his cussing, he went on faster and harder, earning loud moans from you. 
You felt Renjun getting sloppier by the minute and you guessed that it was because he was close and you started to panic. “Renjun.. Renjun.. pull out! We have no protection. Don't cum inside of me! Please, Renjun.” But all you received from him was more groans and cusses. “Just.. just trust me. It’ll be fine. I’m sorry, trust me.” The more he said the word trust, the smaller the trust you actually had for him. But all you could do was let him fuck your wet pussy since you're too weak to even pull yourself out of the knot that Renjun tied above your head. 
And just in a few more thrusts, he had poured his semen into you. With jagged breaths, he still muttered some more apologies to you but you paid it no mind. It’s not like he actually meant it anyway. 
He planted one more kiss on your lips before he pulled out and laid beside you on his bed. He untied the necktie away from you but you still couldn't break free as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close and hugging you tight. “I’m sorry, angel.” he said again. He caressed your hair, fixing up any messy strands. “I’ll get you cleaned, okay?” With that, he picked you up and took you to his bathroom where he cared for you like the Renjun you always knew your whole life. 
121 notes · View notes
burrowbarbie · 3 days
Text
warning: smut, angst (if you squint), MINORS DNI
Tumblr media
"Wait, I thought Rory was dating Dean? When did she get with Luke's nephew?" Joe asked.
You looked up from your computer to see Joe intently watching your TV. He had come over to spend some time with you and do some homework while you studied.
"Did you watch some of this without me?" Joe teased.
"You need to focus on your work. I thought that is why you came over here in the first place."
Joe let out a laugh and turned back to the TV, leaving you to continue working. But your attention kept being drawn to him as he sat at your desk, leaning against the chair with his legs spread apart. You couldn't help but notice how thick and muscular his thighs were. As he pushed his hair back and chewed on a pencil, you found yourself unable to look away.
"Are you almost done?" Joe asked. He caught you staring at him and it made you feel embarrassed, so you quickly tried to focus on your work again. You hoped he wouldn't bring it up, but then you saw him get up and walk towards you.
"I think you're done," Joe said, closing your laptop.
You had been hanging out with Joe for a few weeks now, trying to make time in both of your busy schedules to meet up whenever possible. You had gone for quick lunches, hung out at each other's dorms after practices, and even went off campus a few times to watch movies or have dinner together. But due to the short amount of time you had alone, things between you two hadn't gone beyond heavy make-out sessions.
As Joe sat next to you and started rubbing your thigh, you could feel the anticipation building for a kiss. But just as he leaned in closer, Hazel walked in through the door.
Hazel exclaimed, "Ahhh! I didn't see anything. They tell you to put a sock on the door for a reason," covering her eyes with her hands.
You rolled your eyes and Hazel playfully smirked at you.
"My class is over and I am free to go home! I just need to grab my bags and head out," Hazel said as she gathered her things. She was leaving early for Thanksgiving break.
As Hazel prepared to leave, she turned to Joe, "Good luck at the game on Saturday! I can't wait to see the team crush A&M."
She mockingly made the A&M hand sign and Joe laughed, thanking her. You were happy that they got along so well.
"Maybe you can convince her to come to a game finally," Hazel teased as she walked out the door. "Love you!" she yelled before closing the door.
Joe gave you a curious look. "I've been meaning to ask, but why haven't you come to one of my games?"
You paused for a moment, realizing that Joe had never pressured you to attend a game but always celebrated with you afterwards.
"I get nervous in large crowds and when there's too much noise," you admitted. "That's why I always watch them from home. Plus, your team seems to do well without me there. What if I go and jinx it?"
Joe chuckled and shook his head. "That wouldn't happen."
He took your hand in his, looking into your eyes earnestly. "It would mean a lot to me if you came this weekend. I'll even buy you some ear plugs and you can sit with Justin's girlfriend or Hazel. As long as you're there."
You had planned on going home for Thanksgiving, but you would be coming back on Friday so it would be possible to attend the game on Saturday. Although, finals were coming up soon and you were planning on using the weekend to study. As you were about to explain why you couldn't, Joe kissed your hand.
"Please?" he pleaded once again.
How could you resist that?
"Okay, sure. I'll come to your game."
Joe's face lit up and he leaned in for a kiss. It started off gentle but quickly grew more intense. Joe's hands roamed over your body as he pushed your sweatshirt up slightly and played with the waistband of your shorts, seeking permission to go further. A shiver ran through you as his fingertips grazed your stomach. You broke away from the kiss and nodded, feeling dizzy.
Joe wasted no time pulling down your shorts and underwear in one swift motion. You removed your sweatshirt, revealing your breasts. Joe took a moment to stare at you before you started to feel self-conscious and attempted to cover yourself up. But Joe stopped you.
"I just can't get over how beautiful you are," he murmured, his eyes taking in every part of your body. Your blush deepened. Joe pressed his lips to yours again, and you eagerly pulled him closer as you laid back down. His hand traveled down your body until it found your clit, making slow, lazy circles.
"You're going to watch me win on Saturday, right?" Joe whispered into your ear as he peppered kisses along your jawline.
You were about to answer when he suddenly picked up the pace.
"Oh God...yes," you managed to say between moans, struggling to keep focused on anything but the building sensation in your lower abdomen. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging at it slightly.
"Are you proud of me when you watch me play?" Joe asked, watching as you squirmed under his touch. He loved the effect he was having on your body.
You nodded, unable to form words as the pleasure consumed you. Joe slowed down, causing a frustrated groan to escape from your lips. You looked at him and he met your gaze as he pulled his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them before pushing them inside you. His thumb returned to your clit, and he used his other hand to gently turn your face to look at him.
"Say it, baby. Tell me how proud you are," Joe commanded, picking up the pace again and relentlessly massaging your clit. Your back arched as waves of pleasure washed over you.
"I'm so proud of you, Joe. You're amazing," you cried out. Joe smirked, satisfied with your response.
He left wet kisses down your neck, making his way towards your chest. He focused his attention on a spot above your breast while using his other hand to play with your nipple. You felt like you were going to explode from all the pleasure.
"I need you," you whimpered.
Joe stopped and quickly took off his shirt and pants. Even though he was now only in his underwear and socks, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by how beautiful he looked. You kneeled on the bed in front of him, running your hands over his chest and arms before kissing his jaw and trailing down his neck. You hooked your fingers onto the waistband of his underwear, but Joe stopped you.
"Do you really want this?" he asked, searching your eyes for an answer.
"I do," you replied with a smile.
You had slept with one person before, a long-term high school boyfriend. Since then, you hadn't found anyone else who you were interested in sleeping with.
You were about to continue taking off Joe's underwear when his phone started ringing on the nightstand beside the bed.
"Ignore it," you said.
As you went to kiss Joe, he groaned and pulled you close, his hands cupping your face. You felt his lips crush against yours with urgency, but he suddenly broke away to check his phone. A girl's name flashed on the screen before he shut it off and placed it back on the counter. Your heart started racing as you tried not to pry or show any signs of jealousy. Was this just a friend? Or could it be someone he was seeing as well? You two hadn't talked about the state of your relationship. If there was even a relationship. The uncertainty made you feel uneasy and unsure about where you stood with Joe.
You tried to push those thoughts aside as Joe kissed you again, but this time you couldn't kiss back with the same enthusiasm. He noticed your withdrawal and asked if everything was okay, if you had changed your mind. With a heavy sigh, you laid back down and covered yourself with the blanket.
"Talk to me," Joe pleaded, joining you on the bed.
Your mind was racing with questions, but you couldn't find the right words to ask him. Finally, you ask, "What are we doing?"
"I thought we were about to have sex," Joe responded.
You let out a breathy laugh, "No, Joe. I mean what are we? Where do we stand? Are we seeing other people?"
Joe didn't answer immediately, taking some time to collect his thoughts before finally answering.
"Is this because Jen called?" he asked, saying her name made your heart twist.
He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close as he traced shapes on your hip with his fingers. "I'm not seeing her or anything. She lives in Ohio and we had some classes together when I was going to school there. She's a good friend, but I have no intention of being in a relationship with her."
You nodded, trying to process all of this new information.
"I'm not sure what we are," Joe continued, "but I have fun with you and I want to be around you as much as possible. I know this isn't the way I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend, so I won't, but..."
Before he could finish his sentence, his phone rang again.
"Fuck," he muttered and checked his phone seeing a call from Ja'Marr.
After a brief conversation, Joe sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I completely forgot, we have a team dinner tonight," he admitted.
You nodded understandingly, still unsure of what to say because you wanted Joe to finish his previous thought.
He got up to get dressed, apologizing for having to leave. "I really want to have finish this conversation later and I want you to be there on Saturday. And just so you know, you're the only one I want."
Your heart swelled at his words and you placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. You ran your fingers through his hair and caressed his cheek, causing him to close his eyes and let out a content sigh.
"I only want you too," you confessed.
Joe took your hand and brought it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your palm. "I wish I could stay with you," he shared sadly.
"You should go," you said, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice, "don't want to be any later than you already are."
"If the reason I'm late has anything to do with you, it's worth it."
You roll your eyes, secretly enjoying the cute line he threw at you. Joe reached for the blanket and tried to pull it down, sneaking one more look before he left. You slapped his hand and pointed towards the door.
"Just one more look," Joe begged.
"Go!" You said, laughing. Joe walked towards the door and turned to see you one more time.
"You'll call me when you get home," Joe asked, leaning against the door.
"Yeah I'll call you," You reassured him. You blew him a kiss before he shut the door.
After Joe left for his team dinner, all you could think about was how much you cared for him and hoped that whatever this was between the two of you would work out in the end.
The TV was paused, with the "Are you still watching?" question staring at you.
You plopped your head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. You heard your phone vibrate and you reached over to pick it up.
Joe: I'll be thinking of you.
You smile to yourself and set your phone back down. You pressed "Continue Watching" on the screen and relaxed while Gilmore Girls played.
Tumblr media
previous | next
44 notes · View notes
callalillywrites · 13 hours
Text
Shooting His Shot Part 1
The original version of this story is something I've been wanting to expand for a while now. I finally got my chance, and it's become one of my most indulgent stories yet (I think). What was 1200 words is now over 8000 and split into two parts. Part 2 will be available in a few hours.
I had so much fun with this AU that I could easily persuaded to expand the universe a bit more. Ideas are already forming for a few of the other characters, but I'll hold off until I know others want to see them as well. It's not like I don't have plenty of other stories to work on anyway. 😊
The gif below is somewhat the look I was going for with Steve in this fic though he's given a suit jacket to wear. But yeah, this is it. One of my favorite looks of his btw.
Tumblr media
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Other notable characters: Bucky Barnes, Jake Jensen, Sam Wilson, Ari Levinson, Natasha Romanoff, Peter Parker, and honorably mentioned Curtis Everett
Word Count: 4350
Summary: Steve owns a steakhouse that you used to frequent before your ex came into the picture. Now, your ex is gone, and you're ready to head back to the one place you've always felt welcome and wanted. What neither you nor Steve count on is his staff, led by Bucky, launching a full-one assault effort to get you two together. It's time the two of you realize your feelings for one another.
Warnings: abusive ex (Reader's), pining, so much pining, fluff, two ridiculous idiots in love, a whole bunch of matchmakers
A/N: This is a completely self-indulgent story made like one of those cheesy rom-com which is my bread and butter at this point. It's proofread, but any mistakes are my own.
I also do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.
PART 2
*****
A few hours before dinnertime rush begins…
It might be his day off, but Steve’s made it such a habit that he can’t stop himself. After all, he keeps hoping that you’ll walk back in the door of his steakhouse one day. Even if it’s been six months since he’s last seen your smiling and pretty face.
To help the hours pass, Steve turns to their books and reviews them. He might as well work on payroll for the week and get the checks ready for the following week. While he’s at it, he might look at their orders and see how they’re sitting as well. Maybe he should venture into the kitchen soon and speak with Bucky about their upcoming inspection. Not that they weren’t ready, but one can never be caught unawares. Besides that, they pride themselves on having one of the cleanest kitchens in the county.
As if conjuring up his best friend, Bucky stands in the doorway with one of their famous lunch specials.
“You’ve been at it long enough, punk. Take a break and eat something.”
Without waiting for an answer, Bucky steps into the room and sets the plate down on Steve’s desk, careless of the few neat piles Steve’s created that morning.
Steve stares at the plate for a few seconds before his stomach makes it known how empty it is. He probably shouldn’t have skipped breakfast after the workout he pushed himself through that morning.
While Steve takes a bite of food, Bucky sinks into one of the other chairs and sprawls himself out. He pulls out his phone and grins at whatever he finds waiting on his screen.
“What’s so funny, jerk?”
Bucky shakes his head, content to sit there and wait for Steve to finish the plate.
Knowing he won’t leave without Steve eating everything, Steve takes another bite. Each new fork or spoonful, he shoots Bucky a look, only getting a smug smirk in return. When Steve finally finishes the plate, he sets it aside and goes back to his computer screen. He’s almost certain Bucky won’t be sticking around too long, having enjoyed the small break he’d gotten in feeding Steve.
When one of their cooks happens to walk by, Bucky notices, too, and shouts out, “Hey, we get that order from the bakery down the street yet? I wanna make sure they sent along some of their best treats.”
Steve’s attention returns to Bucky.
Before he knows it, Bucky smacks his knees and pushes to his feet. With an efficient movement born of years in the kitchen, he grabs up Steve’s empty plate and turns toward the door.
“Hey, punk, you might wanna freshen up. We’re getting a special guest tonight. Maybe this time, you’ll man up and shoot your shot.”
Steve’s brows furrow at Bucky’s words.
At least they do until Jensen walks by with an excitement Steve hasn’t seen in a few months.
“Did you hear, Boss Man?” Jensen asks as he tells Steve about the reservation that’s just come in.
A reservation for one in your name.
*****
You check your new outfit a final time in the mirror, satisfied with your efforts. The makeup you’ve chosen for the evening is minimal since you’re only interested in pleasing yourself.
Almost a year wasted with a man who never appreciated you. A man who wanted to shape and mold you into some ideal that you could never be, never wanted to be.
Six months without visiting one of your favorite places in the entire world. All because that same man had been so jealous of the attention you got from everyone there but especially from one Steve Rogers.
Oh, you can only hope that you might see Steve again that evening, having missed his sweet smile most of all these last several months. He’d been one of the first there to make you feel welcome. One by one, so did the others, but you always came back because of Steve.
Part of you wishes still that he would’ve made a move on you during one of your many visits to the steakhouse over the past few years. Maybe then he would’ve saved you all those months with someone less deserving of you and what you had to offer.
He never did though.
So, you accepted the two of you would just be friendly toward one another, just like you were with all the others there.
You can live with that.
At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself as you grab up your jacket and purse.
A final glance in the mirror to ensure your outfit is still perfect for the night you have planned. It’s during this time that your phone pings with the arrival of your Uber.
The ride to the steakhouse takes you through the familiar streets you’ve missed. It amazes you how much they have stayed the same though there are some changes that surprise you. Your favorite used bookshop’s doors have shuttered, but the café you used to visit almost every morning still thrived. A couple of new tiny shops have opened while others remain with a couple that have closed. The eclectic collection of shops was what drew you to this area in the first place when you’d been looking at universities.
Anger fills you for a moment at how manipulative your ex had been with your routine and your life. How could you let him work you like he did? How could he take the very things that made you happiest because he couldn’t handle his own feelings of jealousy and inadequacy?
So many of the hours you used to spend on these few streets, window shopping and getting to know the owners of the shops. They’d been lost to you when you let your ex into your life. Friends lost because of him. You could only wonder what they’ve been up to these past months while you’ve slowly descended into a level of hellish isolation you never wished to be in again.
As the steakhouse appeared in front of you, you perk up. Your hands automatically fidget as they run over your outfit to ensure the few wrinkles from sitting in your Uber didn’t remain when you step out in a few minutes.
A part of you hopes that Steve and all the others haven’t forgotten you.
Yet, why would they remember you?
Friendly or not, you’re still just a customer to them. A good tipper, sure, and always courteous to every employee from the bussers to the owners. You’ve never had a reason to complain about the food or the service from them, and you always tried to make sure they had no reason to complain about you.
Over the years, you’ve even gotten to know a bit about each of them. Jake’s inability to flirt despite giving him lessons whenever he served you. Nat’s intense loyalty to those she works with and her regulars, including you. Sam’s sweet but serious nature. Bucky’s strive for perfection with each dish that leaves the kitchen. Ari’s innate ability to know just what drink you need the moment you step inside (always a mocktail for you). Peter’s awkward friendliness that’s just downright infectious.
Then, there’s Steve.
Oh, you’ve learned a lot about him over the last couple of years.
He’s never been one to back down from the rowdier customers, standing firmly on the side of his staff. It’s something you’ve seen firsthand a time or two, and you’re always impressed with the way he manages to keep his anger in check. At least, inside the restaurant. You’re not unaware of the bloody knuckles he’s come back in with after escorting these obnoxious customers from his place. No doubt they deserved it, but you did worry about the consequences for him and the possibility of pressed charges.
Steve’s also been the first to lend a helping hand to those less fortunate in the neighborhood. If it’s not a free meal to help refill their empty stomachs, it’s offering them small tasks for which he handsomely pays them, even those that take less than ten minutes. He always makes sure they get enough to help through the day or even a few days. You’ve seen the kindness that comes from him and his staff, and it’s one of the many reasons your crush on him hasn’t dwindled over the years. No, it’s blossomed in ways you kinda wished it wouldn’t. There’s little hope of him ever seeing you as anything more than a valuable customer.
You’re brought out of your reverie when your Uber driver clears their throat.
Embarrassed, you quickly apologize and wrap up your business with them, stepping from the car and waving them off.
The large wooden doors leading into the steakhouse speak of an understated elegance and welcome that calls out to you. Beckons you to enter the establishment and know you’re among friends, among family.
It’s a feeling you’ve missed greatly these last several months.
Taking a breath, you pull one of the doors and step into the small entryway. The glazed inner doors don’t hide the rich interior within though they do lend some privacy to those already inside. The place is packed as usual with some guests standing or sitting on either side of the entryway, waiting for their tables.
You smile as you catch sight of a familiar face standing next to an unfamiliar one at the host stand.
Without hesitation, you open the glazed door while your smile widens into a full grin. “Well, well, well, aren’t you looking spiffier than ever, Sam?”
Sam’s head shoots up and his smile matches your own. He steps around the stand and closes the distance between the two of you. A low whistle comes out as he moves his finger in a circular motion, getting you to give him a small spin. Another whistle escapes him.
“You are a sight for sore eyes. It hasn’t been the same since we last saw you here.”
The soft reprimand isn’t missed, but you don’t hesitate when he embraces you, his forgiveness as quickly given. In your ear, he adds softly, “He hasn’t been the same.”  
Your brows furrow at this new piece of information.
Yet, you’re not given a chance to think on his words before Sam’s sweeping you away from the foyer and deeper into the steakhouse.
“Come, your table isn’t ready just yet, but I know some other people who want to see your lovely face again.”
Within a few more steps, he’s pulling out a barstool at the full bar off to the side of the steakhouse. Another friendly face turns to greet you with a big grin on his fully bearded, handsome face.
“Ari,” you say with another genuine smile for the man behind the bar.
Sweeping his longer than before locks from his face, Ari flashes you a grin of his own. “Gorgeous, long time, no see. How’ve you been?”
“Doing much better since I dropped the one-eighty anchor weighing me down.”
Ari’s grin grows. “Good riddance. For your good fortune, I have just the thing for you. One of my newest concoctions that I think you’ll enjoy. On me.”
“Oh, no, I can’t let you do that.”
You’re not allowed to go any further as Ari’s large hand settles over yours. His gaze softens into one of sheer fondness and full sincerity. “Yeah, you can. We’ve all missed you. It hasn’t been the same since you stopped coming in.”
“I’m just a customer,” you say, not fully understanding.
Ari shakes his head. A sympathetic smile takes over his original welcoming grin. “You’ve really no idea what you’ve been to all of us, have you?”
He doesn’t give you a chance to answer, setting about mixing various ingredients in the special station he created some time ago. You lose track of all that he’s mixing and matching until he finally pours the concoction in a glass and tops it with a tiny umbrella in your favorite color.
The explosion of flavors that come has you wiggling a happy little dance on the stool. While you can’t help thinking the mix shouldn’t work, it does in ways that are pleasant and hits you with a burst of such happiness. It’s such that you can’t help taking another long sip.
“Oh, you’re a true genius, Ari.” Your words are punctuated with a sip. “Mm, I love it. I’ll have to make this a standing order every time I come in from now on.”
Beaming, Ari taps the bar. “I’m holding you to that, gorgeous.”
Another customer ends up taking Ari away, but it’s just as well. You’re more than content to continue sipping your new favorite mocktail, one of many Ari’s presented to you. The man’s a notorious flirt, watching him rake in several tips over the next few minutes, but he’s also a connoisseur when it comes to alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages.
He comes back at the same time Sam reappears.
“Your table is ready, pretty lady.”
Saying a quick farewell to Ari, you take Sam’s offered elbow and allow him to lead you to what you believe is your usual table.
It’s more than a little surprising when he sweeps past the main dining area and through a hallway towards what you assume are the back offices and other personnel only rooms. He doesn’t stop until he pushes open a door and reveals a table set for two in a private room.
“What’s all this? Sam, what’s going on?”
Sam merely grins as he leads you to the table and holds out your chair for you. It’s only after he’s given you a menu you don’t need that he says, “I’m trying to make sure Bucky wins the bet this time.”
“Bet? What bet? You have a bet that concerns me?”
Rather than answer, Sam shoots you a wink and disappears through the door, closing it softly behind him.
A moment later, soft music drifts through hidden speakers. The melody is low but romantic though that does little to answer any of the questions this evening’s brought so far.
*****
Steve’s just finishing up the last of the paperwork when Bucky barrels into his office.
“She’s here, punk.” Bucky slams his door shut and gives Steve a thorough though quick once-over. “Is that what you call freshening up? I’m never going to win my money back from Sam if you keep this up.”
“Aren’t you slammed right now? What are you doing here?”
Bucky waves his hand in dismissal. “Everett’s got it for the next few minutes. I’m here to make sure you don’t mess this up a second time.”
Steve’s trying to follow his best friend. Really, he is.
Bucky just isn’t making much sense at this point.
“Mess what up? Buck—”
Another wave of Bucky’s hand has Steve going silent. Strong hands move his chair out of the way before he’s being tossed a garment bag.
“I had Nat pick this up before she clocked in. It should still fit, so hurry up and put it on. You can’t keep a beautiful woman waiting too long.”
Still not following but at least complying for the moment, Steve unzips the bag and finds a nice button-down shirt with what appear to be new pants. A suit jacket completes the look though he’s unsure why he needs such clothing.
“Nat’s got a good eye,” Bucky muses aloud as Steve pulls the ensemble from the bag. “That color will certainly impress her. Now, come on. We don’t have all night here.”
Rolling his eyes, Steve hurries to change his clothes.
If Bucky’s going to be like this, it’s easier to just go along and figure it out along the way. At least that’s been Steve’s experience every time Bucky’s been excited about something. It goes for everything from the latest technology to the ladies, and it’s been like this since the two became friends so many years ago.
The only time it really changed was the six months or so after they both discharged from the army. While they’d both seen combat, something happened to Bucky that he still refuses to discuss most days. Those were the hardest months of their friendship, but Steve refused to walk away, even when Bucky practically shoved him out the door a few times over.
Their eventual takeover of Bucky’s grandparents’ restaurant helped give them both a new direction and strengthened their friendship into something stronger than before they’d enlisted together.
His thoughts clear as he finishes putting on the shoes Bucky hands him, also in Steve’s size.
“Better?” Steve arches a brow at Bucky in question.
Another thorough once-over has Bucky reaching out and unbuttoning the top button of Steve’s shirt. A quick tug of the collar soon brings a grin to Bucky’s satisfied features. With a nod, he says, “Better. Let’s go win your girl, punk.”
*****
You aren’t left alone for long as Jake and Peter come into the room. While Jake’s carrying several items rather precariously, Peter follows him with flatware in their signature napkin wraps.
The fancy cloth’s colors have changed, you note, from a deep blue to a burgundy red. It’s a sign the steakhouse is gearing up for their fall season. Each season has its specific color as you learned from Nat some time ago. Something started by Bucky’s mom back when she and Bucky’s dad ran the restaurant.
“Hey, Pete, how’s school going?” you ask as the younger man moves out of Jake’s way.
Your gaze briefly leaves Peter’s face to take in the small crystal vase with a mini bouquet of seasonal flowers. Their signature glasses follow it on the table as well as everything else one might need at a steakhouse. The table soon overflows with all the items those in the main dining room have though the table itself is a bit too small to accommodate so much.
Peter pulls your attention back to him, saying, “I graduated a couple months ago. Classes at university aren’t bad though they’re not leaving me as much time to work as I’d like. Mr. Barnes and Mr. Rogers promoted me to server as my graduation gift. They say I earned it.”
“Oh, I have no doubt you did.” You grin at him, quite proud of him. “I’m sorry I missed it.”
“It’s okay.” Something in Peter’s voice tells you it’s not really, but he’s also not going to hold it against you.
Hoping to make amends for your absence in some way, you turn to Jake. “Well, maybe I can make it up to you if Jake here doesn’t mind sharing me with you tonight. I’d love to do something for such a momentous occasion, Peter. I know how hard you’ve worked through school and in school.”
Jake nods quite enthusiastically. “Not a problem with me. Nat might complain though.”
“No complaints from me,” Nat calls from the doorway, walking past with some plates from the kitchen. “He should be joining soon. Jensen. Parker, make sure he doesn’t screw this up again.”
“We’re not miracle workers,” Jake quips.
With that, Nat’s gone though you can make out her laughter down the hall.
Turning back to Jake and Peter, you ask, “Who is he? What is he not supposed to screw up?”
The two exchange a glance before Jake clears his throat and mumbles, “Boss Man.”
It might’ve been some time since you’d been at the restaurant, but you know Jake only calls one man that name in this place.
Steve.
You’re not sure what Steve has to do with you or why he’d be joining you. After all, you only made a reservation for yourself. The thought of someone else joining you hadn’t entered your mind.
Yet, you can’t say you don’t like the idea. You, in fact, really like it. It’s been something you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember and every time you’ve come here single. If only he had made a move, then maybe you might believe that he’s interested in you now. Nothing in the few years you’ve known him has hinted that he likes or liked you the way you like him.
Before you can get too far down that rabbit hole, another voice breaks the quiet of the room.
“There’s the most beautiful doll in the world.”
You smile as Bucky enters and pulls you from your seat for a hug.
“We’ve missed you around here. My kitchen staff has suffered dearly with your absence. Lost all their inspiration without your unique combinations.”
Shaking your head, you accept his kiss on your cheek and give him one in return.
“I’m sure you keep them on their toes plenty. It is nice to be back though. I’ve missed you all, too.”
Before he lets you go, he whispers, “If the punk is too dumb to shoot his shot, I just might if it means keeping you around. You light up this place in ways it hasn’t since my ma retired.”
Tears prick at your eyes, but you blink them back.
Leave it to Bucky and the others to make you feel so special even after such a long time being gone. It’s your sincerest hope to never stop coming here, not letting anyone keep you away from somewhere you’ve always felt welcome and wanted.
“You’re very cute,” you whisper back, “but you’re not really my type.”
He chuckles, not offended in the least. It’s not the first time you two have had this conversation. It probably won’t be the last, either, which suits you just fine.
At last, he releases you from his loose hold.
“I should get back to the kitchen. Don’t need Everett or the others to burn it down.”
You shake your head fondly. “Give Curtis more credit than that. He’s a wonderful sous chef, and you’re lucky to have him. I’m glad you took my thoughts to heart where he’s concerned.”
“How could I not? You’ve never led us astray before,” Bucky says, shooting you a wink and a farewell nod. His heavy footsteps can be heard on their way back to the kitchen where he’s always felt his most calm.
When your gaze follows Bucky’s path, it soon collides with the one person you’ve been hoping to see all day.
Your smile grows once more. It’s almost certain your cheeks will be sore in the morning from all the smiling you’ve done this evening. In a breath, you say his name.
“Hey, bijou,” he says, his voice low but warm.
You do your best not to fidget, to seek out any invisible wrinkles in your outfit.
It’s taking everything in you to keep your gaze locked with his even as you take in the navy-blue suit he’s wearing. No tie and the top button unbuttoned does something for him in ways you’re wholly unprepared for. This man is too handsome by half, and he doesn’t even know it. How fair is that to any poor woman who happens upon him?
At last, you find your voice. “You look handsome. Big date?”
He doesn’t get the chance to answer as Nat walks by again. She’s wearing a big smirk when she says, “If he’s not a complete idiot, it is.”
Your confusion isn’t lessening while Steve sends a look at Nat though he relaxes a bit, his voice almost amused. “Shouldn’t you be working?”
“Not only are my tables handled, boss, but I have time to make sure you win your lady.”
You don’t miss the way Nat’s gaze trails to you, her smirk intact, before she returns her attention to Steve.
“Don’t mess it up,” she says, moving away, “boss.”
The offended incredulity on Steve’s face has you fighting laughter. You’ve never seen him quite so put upon and by his staff, no less. It’s not like Bucky doesn’t tease him from time to time as you’ve witnessed. This is the first time though that the rest of the staff has joined in. You honestly can’t help wanting to laugh at the spectacle, even if you don’t quite get what they’re trying to do and what it has to do with you.
Steve seems to shake himself when his gaze finds yours. His throat clears before he finally says, “You are stunning, bijou. Special occasion?”
“Yeah. Celebrating me.” You can’t help the heat that rushes into your cheeks as you say the words. They’re so much easier to consider when you think them, but saying them aloud is something else entirely. You quickly add, “I also really missed this place.”
I missed you.
You manage to keep that thought from spilling out, leaving you open for rejection.
Eager to keep that thought from coming out, you glance around the sparsely decorated room. It’s clear this wasn’t a private dining area before, but no clue exists on what it was before the others must’ve hastily redecorated this space. For what purpose, you can’t say with any certainty.
Yet, there is a hope.
The room might not have much, but it does have enough to appear something cozy, something charming. Maybe a bit more mood lighting, then the others would succeed in whatever they were creating.
When your gaze finally returns to Steve, you swallow.
He remains in the doorway, but the look he has while watching you is something you’re not wholly prepared for. One corner of his mouth is curled upwards while his eyes are soft but focused solely on you. It’s almost like he hasn’t stopped looking at you as you take in the room. That’s a heady sensation indeed for you as you haven’t experienced that ever.
Not any of your exes. Especially not Brock. Not in the way Steve’s doing anyway.
There’s wonder and perhaps longing staring back at you.
It’s that look that compels you to ask, “Would like to join me? I mean, if you don’t have anywhere else to be.”
“I’d really like that if you’re sure you don’t mind,” he says, pushing off the doorway.
You shake your head. “I don’t mind.”
*****
Main Masterlist
27 notes · View notes
Text
Okay this is gonna sound a little crazy. I’m fully aware. I’m. Trying paganism out. Like. Okay. So. Let me explain just a little bit. I’ve always kind of thought there were Things Out There. Some kind of deity(s). And I fucked around with witchy stuff before, not really fully believing in it? I’m not sure.
anyways, recently I went to this museum and there was a bunch of Greek/roman statues. And there was a statue of Athena. And it was fucking weird. She looked the same as all the other statues but there was this… presence to her. Like, I fully understood right then and there why people would worship her. It’s not really a feeling I can explain. Anyways, I was a bit creeped out but kind of shrugged it off.
Cut to a few days later. I’m sitting at my computer watching YouTube, as one does. A video pops up in my for you page about pagan faith. Like. I had not been looking into this beforehand. It just showed up. So I was curious and watched it. And then I watched more like it. And went to the subreddits. And fuck, like why not.
so I cleared off a shelf and decided which god I wanted to pray too (Apollo). So I’m there praying and like this fucking weight settled onto me. I nearly fell over. I prayed for typical Apollo things (creative inspiration, for my medicine to work, so on and so forth). And today I. I started drawing for the first time in a long time. And I kept coming back to it, this piece that I’m doing of a sun. Normally when I pause during a drawing I lose my motivation to finish it.
anyways. Yeah. So. We’ll see how this goes? Maybe it’s just one of those things where believing in something makes it real. Maybe it’s coincidence. Maybe it’s my head. I don’t know. I feel equal parts stupid and guilty (thanks religious trauma) and awed.
22 notes · View notes
glossdebut · 12 hours
Text
Take a Bite Ch. 4
Tumblr media
✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader
Tumblr media
✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you're finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off... Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You've accepted the fact that romance isn't for you, under any circumstances. You won't risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.
Tumblr media
✧ TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer yoongi, music journalist reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you'll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up
Tumblr media
✧ WARNINGS: mental health-related stuff for yoongi (past), seokjin being meddlesome, um... smut! surprise, it's here. min yoongi #1 munch
Tumblr media
✧ WORDCOUNT: 5.1k
Tumblr media
✧ STATUS: ongoing
Tumblr media
✧ AUTHOR'S NOTE: hmmm hi hello. this chapter gave me problems, so sorry for the wait, but i'm actually really pleased with how it ended up. also, i'm adding the songs that inspire my chapter titles to every chapter from here on out, and going back to edit them into previous chapters. hope u enjoy!
Tumblr media
Chapter 4: Just The Way That We Are
Yoongi loves his friends.
Yoongi’s friends have saved his life more times than he can count, and they keep him social, and they make him feel loved, and he loves them back. That’s what he has to remind himself of, anyway. Because he kind of wants to kill them right now.
He may whine and complain about them, but he enjoys their standing monthly plans—wellness checks, Namjoon dubbed them—much more than he lets on. 
He knows himself, knows what he can be like sometimes. He knows that he spends more time in the studio than he does at home. He knows that when he gets sucked into working on a track he’s shit at taking care of himself. He likes to think that he’s better about it now. 
There was a time, though, not all that long ago, where it wasn’t uncommon for him to sleep on the ratty couch in his studio more days out of the week than his own bed. A time where he survived on massive cups of coffee and treated showers as rewards for figuring out why his songs were so fucking bad. A vicious cycle of bleeding nailbeds and uneaten cup ramen and the sound of a metronome making him want to bash his skull against his desk. A spiral.
A spiral that ended abruptly when Seokjin weaseled the door code for Yoongi’s studio out of Namjoon and found him sitting in the dark muttering at his computer screen, several pounds lighter than the last time Seokjin had seen him.
Seokjin was nice to Yoongi about it. He didn’t judge when he had to peel Yoongi out of his chair and force dinner into his mouth. Even when he had to sit in the bathroom with him as he showered, just in case Yoongi passed out. He didn’t make any jokes. That’s how Yoongi knew that he’d fucked up, back then. How he knew that he’d really scared Seokjin. Not one goddamn joke.
So, wellness checks were born. The seven of them gathering monthly, always at Yoongi’s apartment, to spend time together. Sometimes they eat dinner, sometimes they play video games. Most of the time they drink. Wellness checks, plus Seokjin popping in on random nights between to make Yoongi dinner, have kept Yoongi from spiraling for almost two years now.
So really, Yoongi does love his friends. They keep him afloat, hold him accountable.
They’re also annoying, nosy little motherfuckers that won’t stop hounding him about you.
It starts like this: Yoongi is minding his business, like always. 
He’s burrowed into the couch, watching an argument unfold between Jeongguk and Seokjin over who gets to play as Yoshi in Mario Kart. He’s been drinking from the huge bottle of whiskey you bought him all night, and he’s lost count of how many he’s had now. He’s really fucking focusing on this argument. Jeongguk and Seokjin both talk too fast, especially when they’re yelling at each other.
And even though aside from being drunk Yoongi is being completely fucking normal, Hoseok mistakes his silence for, like, contemplation or melancholy or something stupid like that, when really he’s just waiting for Jeongguk to win and get to play as Yoshi, like always.
“Hyung, you’re being quiet,” Hoseok says, and suddenly it feels like all eyes are on Yoongi. The only other person he could be talking about is Seokjin and Seokjin can very rarely be described as quiet. 
“He’s thinking about his lady love,” Seokjin says. Case in goddamn point. “His neighbor. She’s cute, but Yoongi-yah has no game.”
And really, fuck him. Seokjin may be one of Yoongi’s favorite people on the planet—he’s just drunk enough to acknowledge it—but that was just uncalled for. No game?
Yoongi has come to terms with the fact that he likes you, but it’s also really not that goddamn serious. He would be an idiot not to. You’re pretty, you’re intelligent, you’re interesting. You have real aspirations and you’re going for them with everything you’ve got, so that makes you cool in his eyes. 
Sometimes you post songs you like on your Instagram story, and Yoongi doesn’t even really use Instagram that often, but when he checks it, it’s almost always a song he likes. And if it’s not, he listens to it when he has a few minutes, and he ends up liking it anyway. It makes him feel like… He doesn’t know. It’s nice. Kind of sexy, somehow.
He thought about kissing you that day in his apartment before Seokjin barged in and sent you flying across his kitchen. Fuck, he wanted a taste. But Yoongi can read a cue, and you’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t have time for dating. 
So, yes. He likes you. But he also understands you, because he’s been you. Seokjin seems to be under the impression that Yoongi is stuck in some kind of dramatic unrequited love situation, because that is the way that Seokjin thinks love works, but he just met you. He’s happy to be your friend, if that’s what you want. That’s why he offered it in the first place. Yoongi respects your boundaries enough to listen to you the first time when you say you don’t date. Simple as that. Being your friend isn’t some kind of consolation prize to him.
Also, rewind—once again, no game? Yoongi is a master in the art of flirtation, thank you very much. What the hell does Seokjin know about having game? All he has is his stupid face and his height, Yoongi thinks bitterly. One day, his stupid face will become ugly, too, because that is the way of the world. Seokjin will have nothing, but Yoongi will still have his words.
He’s opening his mouth to say something to that effect, but of course, everybody has something to say after Seokjin’s betrayal.
“Hyung likes a girl? Since when?” Jimin asks. Yoongi presses his lips into a thin line.
Jeongguk chimes in. “She’s cute? Hyung, why does Seokjin-hyung know she’s cute? Why does he get to know everything first?”
“The one in the apartment down the hall, hyung?” Hoseok. Waggling his eyebrows like he knows more. Seokjin is going to die.
“She lives down the hall? Can we meet her?” Taehyung.
Morons, Yoongi thinks.
“You’re all crazy,” he complains, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can feel himself getting pink, the six pairs of eyes on him making him bristle. He ducks his head, sinking further into the couch. “Why do you want to meet my neighbor so bad? Quit being weird. No.” 
“Leave Yoongi-hyung alone,” Namjoon says, and see? That’s why Yoongi likes him! Very diplomatic, as per usual.
“Thank you, Joon-ah.”
“He can be a pussy all he wants.” 
Oh, okay!
Yoongi is going to strap Kim Namjoon to that mechanical bull with rope next time and then leave him for dead.
“Is that what they taught you in your gender studies course, Kim Namjoon?” Yoongi hisses, crossing his arms over his chest defensively, but before Namjoon can defend himself, Seokjin is speaking.
“You should invite her over, Yoongi-yah.” Yoongi hates how soft his voice sounds about it. Like he’s trying to be gentle with Yoongi’s feelings or something. 
He sighs, sitting up.
“It’s really not like that,” Yoongi insists, his frustration mounting as he rubs at his temples. “I’m sure you’re all going to meet her at some point, okay? Because we’re friends. But not tonight. Stop trying to be matchmakers. It’s pissing me off, and you’re all ass at it, anyway.”
That seems to be effective in shutting them down, but now Yoongi is faced with six guilt-laden expressions. He softens a bit. He’s being too harsh, he realizes. They barely said anything, and they mean well. He knows that.
“Look, I just met her, and we haven’t had many opportunities to hang out,” he says, more gently this time. “We’re both busy. I don’t know her that well yet, and I don’t want to overwhelm her with… meeting the family so early on.”
“Sorry, hyung,” Namjoon says. Yoongi shakes his head.
“It’s fine. I just need all of you to drop it for now,” he says.
Everyone seems to agree. Even Seokjin, which is the biggest relief of all. 
He knows why Seokjin is trying to push this. Why they all are. 
When he told you he understood you, that he got it, he really meant it. He’s been fucked over before, more than once. Not for the same reasons as you, but he can imagine it probably hurts the same.
Relationships in general have never really been high up on Yoongi’s priority list to begin with. In his eyes, it can be nice when it happens, but he doesn’t reach for it. 
He’s done the casual sex thing, but he never needed it like some people claimed to. Yoongi can relate to feeling like a shaken up soda can ninety-nine percent of the time, but one night stands don’t do much to relieve the pressure for him. In the end, casual caused more problems for him than it solved, so he doesn’t do that anymore. Doesn’t really want to again. 
He’s done the relationship thing, too. That was better. The feeling of falling in love is… Well, he got lots of songs out of his last relationship, that’s for sure. He fell pretty hard, so hard that he didn’t even feel like himself. His friends were tickled. Min Yoongi, who gets so prickly about public displays of affection, kissing his girlfriend in the middle of a crowded street, just because! Not caring when it ended up online. Feeling proud, even. Putting that kind of trust into someone else made him feel so much lighter. Anyway, he got a lot of songs out of the breakup, too.
It’s been a long time since Yoongi has shown interest in anyone, even to a minute degree. He can’t blame his friends for wanting to play the six Bingleys to his Darcy, but he’s not going to push you, and he’s not going to put you in a room with his friends who are afraid hes going to die alone and let them try to push you either. If you decide you want him, he wants it to be real.
The rest of wellness check night goes by relatively smoothly, all things considered. Jeongguk does, in fact, end up playing as Yoshi despite Seokjin trying to play the hyung card over it. He also wins so much that Jimin’s eye starts twitching. All in all, it’s a pretty normal night.
Yoongi thinks that he’s successfully evaded further probing about you, until he finds Seokjin lingering by the door after the rest of them have filtered out.
“Yoongi-yah,” he says in that same soft tone from earlier.
“I don’t want to hear it, hyung.”
“I know you don’t, but you’re going to hear it anyway.” His voice is firm. 
Jeongguk may not fall victim to Seokjin’s hyung card easily, but Yoongi does. He always does. So he sighs, waving a hand for Seokjin to get on with it.
“Invite her to your studio.”
“What?” Yoongi asks, scoffing. His studio is sacred. “Why?”
“You said you don’t get to see her that often, but you don’t want to bring her around us yet,” Seokjin says, looking at Yoongi like he’s dumb. “She’s a writer. You can write anywhere, Yoongi-yah.”
“She has an office,” he says flatly, and Seokjin groans, rolling his eyes like Yoongi is being obtuse. 
“It’ll be like when we go fishing. We don’t really talk much, but the silence is nice. It’s still quality time. You can spend time together without taking time away from work for both of you.”
Yoongi opens his mouth to protest, but when Seokjin says it like that, it doesn’t sound so bad. It could work, if you’re open to it… He thinks he remembers Namjoon going on about, like, children doing what Seokjin is proposing—parallel play, or whatever—but it could work.
“Maybe,” he says finally.
“No, it’s okay,” Seokjin says, grinning. “You can admit that I’m a genius. The world may think that it’s you, but I’m the real brains of this operation.”
“Go home, hyung,” Yoongi huffs, pushing Seokjin out the door. He shuts it behind him, hearing his hyung’s screechy laugh descending down the hall.
It’s not a bad idea.
★ ★ ★
You’re in Yoongi’s studio, and it feels like a very bad idea.
On your part, at least. It was actually unbelievably sweet, the way Yoongi proposed it. Which does not help your problem in the slightest.
It’s been several weeks since you’ve last seen him in person, all of your correspondence with him taking place over text. Busy, busy, you claim to be, and you have been, but you had been terrified Yoongi was going to start thinking you’ve been avoiding him. You also feel so, so guilty that he would’ve been right.
You just haven’t been able to figure out how to look him in the eye after… your recent thoughts about him. Thoughts that have been pervading your mind ever since you admitted to Rina that yes, you very much would like to find out what his cock would feel like inside of you.
You fully intended to continue avoiding seeing him in person until you could figure out either A) how to stop those thoughts entirely, or B) how to ask him if he would be down to clown in a completely casual, platonic manner. You’ve been coming up empty on both.
And then you saw that he’d texted you, looking at your phone right as the rest of your coworkers were filtering out of the office and you were hunkering down for another two hours minimum of work, and once again, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no to him. Not when he always somehow seems to know the right things to say.
[5:57] Yoongi: If you get stuck while you’re writing tonight, you should come by the studio. Change of scenery might help. 
[5:58] Yoongi: Haven’t seen you in a while and I’ll be here late. Plus I’d bet good money that you haven’t eaten dinner yet, and I’m about to order some.
[6:00] Yoongi: Do you need any more incentive? My company should be enough. 
[6:10] Do I need to bribe you with those raps you keep bothering me about? I’ll show you 30 seconds of ONE.
You really hadn’t been ignoring him that time, and thankfully you were able to open them only ten minutes after his last text. He knows your texting habits well enough at this point to know that you either respond instantly or take forever, caught up in whatever it is you’re working on. It’s almost like he’s nervous you’ll say no, which is just… He’s cute. Whatever. You said yes.
The problem is, now you’re in his studio, sitting on his couch with your laptop perched on your thighs, picking at the remnants of the takeout he’d ordered, trying and failing miserably at focusing on your work. 
It was a lovely idea on his part to invite you to work in silence with him. It was so sweet. It’s not his fault that you can’t focus, that for the past thirty minutes all you’ve been doing is trying to figure out how to ask him to bend you over his desk. Because you’ve officially made your decision on that. 
You decided about ten minutes after you arrived, in fact. The thirty seconds of the rap he’d promised to play you made a strong argument (Seokjin wasn’t joking about college Yoongi being shameless) but you held your resolve to put the idea of having sex with Yoongi out of your mind. 
No, it wasn’t the filthy, explicit bars spat out in his gravelly voice that did you in. It was the sight of him sitting in his chair, noise-cancelling headphones on, tapping away at his midi. Surrounded by expensive equipment, plaques outlining achievements, a guitar hanging on the wall. There’s a coffee cup on his desk that you can only imagine has been sitting there since the morning. From where you're sitting, you can see him in profile: his eyes sharp and focused, his tongue peeking out from the corner of his mouth. Like he can do this all night. In his element.
In short, you find it sexy that he’s a workaholic just like you. You don’t want to think too hard about that at all.
He has one ear of his headphones shifted behind his ear in case you need him for something (also sexy), so you set the takeout and your laptop on the coffee table, clearing your throat.
“Yoongi,” you say softly.
He hums in response, his eyes still focused on the monitor in front of him.
“Can I talk to you about something?”
At that, he clicks a few more times on his computer before tearing himself away, taking off his headphones and turning his chair to face you.
“What’s up?”
You take a shaky breath, sitting up a little from where you’ve burrowed on the couch. This isn’t a big deal, you remind yourself. The worst he can say is that he wouldn’t be into it, and Yoongi hasn’t given you any indication that he’s a judgy guy.
“So, I told you that I don’t really have time to date,” you say, hoping he doesn’t think you’re insane for starting a conversation like that.
“You mentioned it,” he says, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Right. So, that’s true,” you say, fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater to give your hands something to do. “I don’t want to date anybody right now. But… I, um.” You look down at your hands in your lap. You’re losing steam, losing confidence. Is there a right way to do this? If there is, you’re sure you’re not doing it. But Yoongi is patient. He sits quietly, waiting for you to find the right words.
It takes you a second, your mounting anxiety causing you to change course in the middle of your sentences, but you finally get them out.
“You’re so… I like being your friend, a lot. And I don’t want that part of our relationship to change. But I was wondering if…” A breath. You need to spit it out. “I’m like, horribly attracted to you. And I was wondering if you’d want to do, like, a friends with benefits thing?”
You cringe at yourself. You’ve never done something like this before, and it shows. You’re completely prepared for Yoongi to laugh and say no, to go back to his work. But when you look up, your breath catches in your throat. 
Yoongi’s eyes are so, so dark. You don’t know what to make of the way he’s looking at you. It’s not the same look he gave you the night you met, when you were both harmlessly flirting. The way he looked at you in his kitchen is closer, but it’s still not the same. There’s something else there, something you don’t recognize. He crosses his arms over his chest. 
“Is that what you want?” he asks, his voice as low as you’ve ever heard it. Serious. 
You shiver, but you nod and soldier on.
“I don’t want you to think it’s weird that I want that,” you say, standing your ground. “But yes. That’s what I want.”
Yoongi is unmoving, maybe taking a moment to consider your offer, and you can’t take it. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest. He needs to stop fucking looking at you like that.
Finally, he speaks. “It’s not weird,” he says. Nothing else. You wait, tortuous seconds passing by, expecting some kind of verdict, a yes or no, but it never comes. You break.
“Yoongi...” He hums. “...Do you want to fuck me?”
You watch as Yoongi licks his lips, his eyes raking over you shamelessly. Apparently that was the right thing to ask.
“You have no idea how badly I want to fuck you.” 
The air in his studio thickens, just like that. Fuck. You feel like you’re going to die before he gets the chance.
“Show me,” you breathe.
Yoongi assesses you for just a moment longer before standing from his desk chair, crossing the small space of his studio to sit beside you on the couch. His body is turned towards you, so you turn in kind, swallowing thickly.
He reaches to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, his thumb brushing over your cheek in the process. His touch leaves a trail of heat over your skin, making you gasp, closing your eyes. There’s no alcohol warming you this time, making your head feel fuzzy, not right now. It’s just Yoongi, maybe it’s just been Yoongi the whole time, making you feel so affected by so little.
“I’m not fucking you tonight,” he says. Your eyes snap open, a protest at the tip of your tongue, but he beats you to the punch. “Not tonight. Let’s start with something easy, baby.”
Baby.
“Easy?” you breathe. You’re half-convinced you’ll go along with anything he says. Take anything he sees fit to give you. He hasn’t even done anything. You’re screwed. 
He nudges his nose against yours, his hand sliding down from your hair to cup your jaw, the other rubbing gentle circles into your hip. “Easy,” he murmurs, and then his lips are on yours, the sensation stealing all of the breath from your lungs. 
Yoongi’s kiss is slow and exploring, unhurried, thorough, like he has all the time in the world to take you apart piece by piece and he intends on using it. You feel yourself whimper against his lips, your hands coming up to fist in his shirt, as if you can’t get him close enough.
His tongue teases at the seam of your lips. They part easily for him, and fuck, kissing has never felt like this before, made your whole body burn. You’re no virgin, for fuck’s sake. You and your ex had plenty of sex, and it was even good, but if just kissing Min Yoongi feels like this, you’re not prepared for what it’ll be like when he fucks you. Maybe he’s right to start with something easy.
Apparently, though, Yoongi has other plans.
He pulls back from the kiss, squeezing your hip. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll still take care of you,” he says, trailing heated kisses from your jaw down to your neck. “You want me to?”
“Yes,” you pant, uncaring of how desperate you must sound. It’s all out in the open now, no use in hiding it.
Yoongi chuckles as his hands find the hem of your sweater, sliding under it to feel your feverish skin. “Stop me whenever,” he murmurs against your neck, squeezing your breasts over the fabric of your bra.
When you don’t reply, his fingers expertly locate a nipple through the fabric, pinching it lightly, and you breathe out a gasped ‘okay.’ He hums, pleased, his mouth claiming yours again as he continues to run his hands over your body.
You only break the kiss when one of his hands pauses at the waistband of your pants, but it sure as hell isn’t to stop him.
“Touch me,” you encourage, your forehead pressed against his. 
Yoongi wastes no time, and you watch as his hand disappears under the fabric, thanking your lucky stars for dress pants with elastic waistbands. His fingers slide beneath the fabric of your panties to slip through your folds, and you both groan when he finds you drenched.
“Fuck,” he hisses, running his fingers up and down your slit slowly. “You’re soaked, baby. How long were you sitting here thinking about me fucking you?”
“Pretty much the whole time,” you admit weakly, your hips jolting when he circles your clit, a shaky moan falling from your lips.
His hand retreats from your pants, and before you can react, he’s rising from the couch, pushing the coffee table out of the way with his foot and sinking to his knees in front of you.
“I’ve gotta taste you,” he says, his expression almost pained as he tugs at your pants. “Can I?”
Who the fuck are you to say no to that?
You nod your consent eagerly, lifting your hips up so he can pull your pants and underwear off all in one go. Once you’re bare from the waist down, Yoongi slides his hands up your calves, positioning your legs so they’re spread wide, your feet planted on the couch on either side of you.
The way he looks at you then, almost worshipful, his jaw slack and pupils blown as he stares at your core... He looks almost as wrecked as you feel.
“Look at you,” he breathes, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, and then he’s surging forward, his tongue flattening to lick a broad stripe over your pussy.
“Yoongi,” you moan, your head falling back against the cushion behind you as your hands fly forward to tangle in his hair. Encouraged, he licks into you over and over, like he’s trying to devour you, his nose grinding against your clit as he works his jaw. “Fuck!”
Yoongi pulls back and you force yourself to lift your head, moaning at the sight of your slick all over the lower half of his face.
“Taste so fucking sweet,” he groans, trailing two fingers through your folds again to tease at your entrance. “You want more?”
“Please,” you whimper, and he grins, his fingers sinking into your pussy with little resistance. He curls them up, searching for the spot that will make your vision go white. When he finds it, you cry out, your back arching, and he leans forward again to wrap his lips around your clit, sucking at it.
It’s all too much, so fucking good you think you might die if he keeps going. Shit, you’ll die if he stops, too. He better not fucking stop.
“D-don’t stop,” you whimper, and he hums against your clit, making your eyes roll back as his fingers quicken into a steady, relentless pace.
It becomes clear he has no plans to stop, to tease, that he wants to push you over the edge just as much as you want to fall.
He uses his free hand to nudge your thigh, guiding one of your legs over his shoulder. The other follows suit, and before long, you’re practically squeezing his head between the plushness of your thighs, your moans coming out unbidden.
With one particularly hard suck to your clit, you’re gasping for breath, your eyes squeezing shut. All of the tension in your body snaps at once and your hips push into his touch, grinding against his fingers and his tongue as your orgasm washes over you in waves.
“Yoongi, Yoongi, fuck,” you mewl, your hips moving of their own accord as you ride out the high, your skin buzzing with heat.
Yoongi’s fingers slow their pace but he doesn’t stop, milking your release for all it’s worth until you’re pushing his head away weakly, trying to catch your breath.
Finally, he relents, sitting back on his heels, his breaths just as labored as yours. He withdraws his fingers, sucking them into his mouth to lick your release off of them.
“Holy shit,” you pant, running your hands over your face, and Yoongi laughs.
“Good?” he teases, and you nod, slumping back against the couch. Good feels like an understatement, and you can tell he knows that. You can only imagine the reason for that slightly smug look on his face is from the sheer speed with which he made you come. You’d be embarrassed about it if he didn’t look so turned on, his eyes running over your body like he’s deciding whether he wants to go for seconds.
After a moment, he moves to stand up, wincing at the tension in his knees. Your eyes zero in on his cock straining against the material of his sweatpants instantly, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. Fuck, you want that. You want it so bad. Why won’t he give it to you? Your staring doesn’t go unnoticed.
Yoongi shakes his head. “Not tonight, Y/N,” he says, and you make a pitiful noise. Why he wants to deny himself a blowjob is beyond you.
He slips his hand beneath the waistband of his sweatpants (right in front of you, the tease) to give himself a placating squeeze and adjust himself. “Next time,” he promises, bending at the waist to cup your cheek and kiss you again. 
You taste yourself on his lips, pulling him further by the front of his shirt. He lets you, bracing a hand on the back of the couch to keep himself steady. “You sure?” you breathe between hot, needy kisses. He groans and you think, for a moment, that you might be able to persuade him to change his mind. But then he’s pulling away again, and you whine.
“Next time,” he repeats, grasping your wrist and gently removing your hand from his shirt so he can stand up straight. He looks at his watch. “I doubt anyone is still here, so I’m gonna go get some stuff to clean us both up.” You nod, relenting. 
You laugh softly as he adjusts his erection again, at the way he huffs when he can’t get it to look any less obvious. He flips you off at the sound of your laughter, but you can tell there’s no heat behind it. 
Once he gives up, he dips his head out the door to check for anyone who could be lingering out there, then retreats from his studio into the hallway. You hear the whir of his door lock as he secures it behind him, ensuring that no one will walk in on you in this state, and then you’re alone.
Sated as you are, the reality of what just happened sinks in quickly. Yoongi ate you out in his place of business. Insane! But to your surprise, it doesn’t feel as major as you were worried it would. Your heart swells at the idea that all of the confidence and trust you had in Yoongi to be upfront with you wasn’t misplaced, that he really is okay with this arrangement. It’s too early to tell, but it already feels like things will stay the same between the two of you. 
With the added benefit of sex. Insanely good sex, if what you just experienced is anything to go by. You’re already thinking of the next time that he promised.
You make a mental note to send Rina a fruit basket or something in Paris. She deserves it.
Tumblr media
✧ shoot me a reply or an ask if you enjoyed this chapter! feedback is always appreciated <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future chapters!
@dollfaceksj @jajabro @butterymin
PREVIOUS CHAPTER ✧ MASTERLIST ✧ NEXT CHAPTER
16 notes · View notes
infinity-forest · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media
hairswipe nebula
11 notes · View notes
danielnelsen · 1 month
Text
things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
7 notes · View notes
ectonurites · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
super chill times
18 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
.. mysterious visitor... polite door to door salesmane of acorns 
#i think squirrels are cute kind of but also they just come and knock over all of my plants lol#George also never does anything he just sits and stares at them and the squirrels are never scared of him at all lol#cats#I DO have tons of pictures and other things like that to post and costumes and etc. etc. I've just been so busy#with weird stuff and appointments and etc.#THEN STILLWORKING on the evil extemely long worldbuilding sildeshow#between that and trying to keep vaguely consistent uploads on my games youtube it seems like all I do is edit various video recetnyl lol#hopefuly I can finish the wolrdhilding videos pretty soon and then 95% of my already meager free time will not be spent in windows movie mak#er (yes i still edit videos in windows movie maker lol.. i tried a few alternatives and i don't like the layouts of the#m... -_-). Mixcraft is a decent alternative to GarageBand with a very similar layout and the way it works and etc.#but I got used to iMovie in my high school computer classes and then had windows movie maker at home and now#I can't ever find anotther one thats a similar layout/style/similar features but isn't expensive lol#ANYWAY...#I am...... working on things......... just very absent form internet as usual#which in turn makes working on things futile because by the time i get anything done nobody cares since I've been inactive for#6 months or whatever and maintaining digital profiles is the number one like pivotal thing to being a sucessful artist or whatveer#in the modern day but hhhhhhhhhhh
63 notes · View notes
dredshirtroberts · 3 months
Text
tomorrow pakige
#one side of my headphones stopped working so i was forced to order things for myself again#i'd been putting this off i knew this pair was not long for this world#but i didn't want to spend money on myself for something so frivolous as *checks notes* thing i need to maintain sanity#so i waited until they cut out and then had to wait a whole bunch because i didn't want to spend money on shipping#but tomorrow should be pakige time#unless they get a wild hair up their butts about it and decide to get it on a truck this afternoon#but definitely tomorrow pakidge#i actually got 2 types of headphones#because free shipping + i wear earbuds for especially sleeping but in general i tend to favor them#but i have really liked over-ear headphones so i got a pair that can also Become Wireless in that the wire is exchangable (i think)#so i am hoping that means i will then have over ear headphones i can wear to muffle sound and help me when my ears require it#that i can also wear at the computer#the reviews weren't *great* for the over-ears but like. so long as they sit comfortably on my head i'm okay with having bought the cheap on#cause they will at MINIMUM do the mufflesounds and that's the key thing#i am very bad at buying Things for myself#frankly this has been a banner year for me Purchasing Delights specifically over the past like#month or two#and it's all been Necessary Items and things but also it's just very difficult#when it's just fun stuff#idk i'm... having the slow and gentle realization that perhaps doing nice things for myself isn't a bad thing actually#and that sometimes it's kind of important to get things you'll like just cause you like them or want them#eventually i'll figure out how to Want Things and then it's OVER for you bitches#(you bitches being my wallet)
1 note · View note
absentlyabbie · 2 years
Text
going to bed before i burst into actual tears of helpless frustration because for the third time in as many weeks, my computer has decided that despite paying for 500mbps internet, i'm only allowed an oscillation between 2.4-40mbps for absolutely no valid reason, and whatever i did to somehow make it work again last time absolutely will not work this time
7 notes · View notes
anothermonikan · 1 month
Text
2 more hours until comfy time
Tumblr media
0 notes
gandreida · 4 months
Text
Wanting to upgrade my computer so I can more reliably play games w/ friends is a feasible goal which is awesome ‘cause for the last few years my main goal has been “don’t kill yourself” so having this as a goal shows improvement in that I actually want something other than to simply not die by my own hand
#also it gives me incentive to go to work#I was sick this week so I missed like 3 days of work as a result of me trying to avoid giving myself asthma#but as luck would have it I made the conscious effort to go to work every day last week#not to mention this was a really fast sick span#it only lasted from Friday-Most Tuesday#outside the bread coughs and liquids down the wrong holes i’ve been doing swell#so swell that I feel comfortable going in to work tomorrow#my position right now tho worries me#I’m not sure how long I can be a pick-off as it hurts my shoulder but I think if I were to stretch more diligintely before work I could#potentially avoid it#but regardless it just sucks in general to have be like this ‘cause loading hurts my knees and those just hurt regardless#plus I got a bigass hill I have to climb after work every night and that doesn’t do me any favors#and on top of that if I don’t climb it fast it measn getting home like 30 minutes later half the time#and I’m not fond of waiting for the bus that late at night#especially since a couple of weeks ago I had a dude harassing me#like I have to walk down side streets that are largely unlit to sit and wait at a bus stop that no one really goes to like ??#I just need to buy a few things for the computer namely RAM and a 1TB internal SSD#that’s pretty cheapo in comparison to the rest of the computer#hell the RAM isn’t even necessary tbh that’s why I’m going for the SSD first#A 2TB SSD would be better tho like it could fully replace my 9 y/o 2TB HDD that’s Very Much So At The End Of Its Life#truly tho I need a car#but it’s hard to save for a car when I have so much debt to pay every month#I think I can actually start saving for one like mext year tho ‘cause at the rate I’m going by feb next year I could be cleared of all#personal debts#then I can save up like $120 a month guarunteed rather than trying and failing to save even like $50 or somethin#I could actually help people too#I could be comfortable and help people w/o throwing myself under the bus financially#that’s what I really want
1 note · View note
x-for-a-y · 6 months
Text
>be me, hobbyist writer >get gradually reminded of & motivated to work on a doatk fanfic that's been in the drafts for a good while >eh i'm not working on any other stories right now, fuck it, let's get some progress made on this one >the fic features roommate as one of the main characters >focuses on and changes some of his backstory to highlight how interesting his character is when taken more seriously >treats him mainly like an oc >"this looks like it's going well" >go to sleep >the next day >wake up, check announcements >roommate dead >mfw
1 note · View note
thewoolyworm · 9 months
Text
Uuuugh I'm going to have to get good at drawing again, aren't I 😫😫😫
0 notes