#this has been a psa this is his type of men

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/739381076510785536/so-it-seems-our-flag-means-death-has-not-been#notes

I liked OFMD and I'm sad it's not getting renewed, but I agree that the fandom was especially toxic, even by the standards of currently popular slash-heavy fandoms. I wanted to read fic after s1 ended the way it did, and I read a little bit, but along with it having all the tropes that I can't stand in a lot of what is currently big with the MSF crowd (and that I'd been happy to have a reprieve from in my current main M/M fandom), the toxicity of the online fandom discourse made me quickly realize it was one that I was going to discuss among my current-friends-from-other-fandoms who also watched it, and my sister who watches it, and pretty much ignore the rest of the Internet. It was such a perfect storm of everything awful, from people who are overly invested in it to an unhealthy degree (I think I realized I wasn't gonna be active in the larger fandom around a month or so before the s2 renewal announcement, when I saw earnest PSA tweets telling people to "stop threatening suicide in HBO's replies if they don't renew OFMD"), to bombarding and parasocial obsessions with the creators and actors, to all the classic "anti" and purity police crap that plagues anything that gets popular on here.

The fandom it reminds me the most of, honestly, is Yuri on Ice fandom at its peak in early-mid 2017. Again, a show I love, but a fandom I absolutely do not miss. In some ways they are kind of similar shows: ones with canon M/M romances where they were not billed as that, and they were hinted from early on but people didn't trust it due to years of dealing with queerbaiting, where that sort of thing slowly crept up on people and then became the defining feature of how it was discussed everywhere. I wonder if there's a particular level of insanity that that type of thing breeds in its fans - or maybe, more broadly, "canon M/M with a large female fanbase." Like, you don't see this kind of thing in canon M/M stuff that's mostly watched by queer men rather than women, but there are shades of the insanity I also remember from Glee fandom (I was more active on the F/F side of things there, which had its own unhinged drama, but the Klaine vs. anti-Klaine stuff was so explosive that it was hard not to notice it if you were anywhere in that fandom, like a mushroom cloud in the distance). But YOI and OFMD do seem very... singular in the particular kind of obsession that they generate.

And I really wish people would shape the fuck up, because if they're going to act like this over and over again, that's just going to de-incentivize showrunners to make shows like this for that audience.

Driving Con O'Neill off Twitter was one of the worst parts of it, too. There was something so refreshingly earnest about how much he embraced the fandom, even the weirdest parts - saying with regard to NSFW fanart that "art is art" and retweeting stuff like his character in a crop-top that said "babygirl." It was so nice to see an actor who didn't usually have that kind of following embrace it wholeheartedly rather than steering clear. ....And then people had to be awful and creepy and obsessive and he left Twitter. I bet he's going to be a lot more skeptical of dealing with fans in the future!

--

It's not just the canon m/m aspect: it's the wholesomeness.

Yes, yes, they're all evil pirates, I agree, but watching S1 did give me the feeling of something that was supposed to be very progressive and light-hearted in particular ways. I don't think that's bad, but it does tend to attract some very over-sensitive fans with some very rigid expectations.

It's sadly par for the course that one of the random side character actors is the fun one and people are jackasses and desperately want the leads they ship to be the fandomy ones and/or just start creeping on any actor they can get a reaction from.

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Gold Panel Minncon 2023

Quick psa/reminder that this con took place while the actor’s union, SAG-AFTRA, is on strike. This means the boys cannot talk about any past, present, or future projects. But for the sake of clarity, I will be mentioning projects the boys are referring to by name.

Before the panel starts Jared notices a fan with an I heart Jensen sign, and says he does too.

Jared shows off a bit of his and Jensen's unspoken lingo, he does the sign for a brief pause. They got it from their director, Jensen says they had a lot of different hand signals for communication, and they also had names for certain types of shots. Jared mentions they had a friend in Van who's a larger individual and was always smoking pot so if they start the scene with a high and wide shot they'd call it the Murph. When the camera is on the dolly track and does a creep in if it's a little creep they'd call it a Mickey Rooney then Jensen says there are other ones they won't mention because they're very inappropriate.

Jared reminds fans that actors are currently on strike and thanks the fans for their understanding if there are any questions that they cannot answer. Jensen says that Jared can talk about his gardening skills and Jared says he loves him some zucchini and that he harvested some the previous week...I'm not gonna say it, but you know what I'm thinking 😉

Do they follow the Texas country music scene?

Jared always goes back to when in High School or Middle School Robert Earl King. Or Pat Green.

Jensen mentions Jerry Jeff Walker. He also says Texas certainly has its own country core, it's not like traditional Nashville country. x

The next fan had already asked Jared this question and now they want to know Jensen's answer: what kind of car would he have if money was no problem?

He doesn't have a holy grail and the reason he doesn't is because if he did he'd spend all his time figuring out how to get it; he'll watch car auction shows, used to watch them with Clif, and every one of them he'll want. He did see one car once, he and Jared had the opportunity to go to Concours d'Elegance which is the best, greatest car show there is in Pebble Beach. They close off the 18-hole golf course and line up the cars all along the fairways. It's right there on the coast and they were walking past the pre-world war cars and he saw an Austin Martin that took his breath away. He was like "this is outrageous you probably can't even get your hands on this" but if he ever had the opportunity to own something like that- he took more pictures of that car than any other car. x

The next fan doesn't have a question, they just wanted the boys to wish her a happy birthday and also show the tattoo she has of Jensen's face on the inside of her thigh, which took her 6hrs to get done. Jared jokes Jensen can't last six hours 🤣

What's the backstory behind the bracelets Jensen sometimes wears?

They've all been gifted to him by someone in his life, usually his wife or his daughter but he has friends that he has also traded with; there's always some sort of a back story to what he's wearing he doesn't usually go shopping and just buy stuff.

Then they get told a naughty joke: if a blackbird has black babies and a bluebird has blue babies what bird has no babies? A swallow. Both men have to walk away from the mic 🤣

Jared asks the next fan if they have any babies and even he's wondering why he says what comes into his head 😂

If they had to pick tattoos for each other what would they pick out?

Jensen points towards the fan that has his face tattoed on her inner tigh and says she already has it he would put his face on Jared's and Jared says "yeah I'd be more handsome." Gentlemen 👀

Jensen then says would put a bear growling on Jared's right hand. And Jared's like "why do they exist?" and Jensen just goes "to scare big things like you." Which I found a cute little exchange.

Jared would make Jensen get an enter at your own risk and an arrow pointing to somewhere that he's not gonna say but it would be in an old English cursive writing. Again 👀

Jared asks the fan what they would put on them and the fan replies that they would ask what they love and what describes them

Jensen comments that he and Jared had talked about getting something that represents SPN because when you're in it you're not thinking about how long the show is gonna go and so you know they talked about maybe getting the anti-possession tattoo or there was also talk about symbols of MOL but it's really come down that now that they're a few years removed from it and they're able to look back on it they're able to realize how big that part of their lives was for them and how forever it will be. That's not to say tattoos always have to be amazingly meaningful, some are just fun, but he feels they would because of how that show impacted their lives. x

If they were in Van and had a ping pong tournament with the cast and crew of SPN who would make it to the gold round and come out the victor?

They would. Jared says he thinks it happened a few times and they had to hide said ping pong table from them because they would sweat their makeup off.

Jensen says they would play that game so intensely as if they were running a marathon. They would be called back on set and be out of breath, show up panting- they had very intense games. I wanna make a dirty comment so badly involving the other things they were probably might have been doing on that ping pong table but I'm gonna keep it moving.

Jared says they represented Texas pretty damn well, and they're asked if they doubled up or destroyed the other. Both say it was pretty split, pretty even. It got to a point where they were just exposing each other's weaknesses like Jared would figure out Jensen's forehand was a little weaker that day so he'd send it straight into his forehand. x

Next is a fan wanting to know what they thought of her tattoo, and if they could give her artist a shoutout. They thought it was really awesome and the artist did a great job. x

If they go to a diner how likely is it that they would actually order a salad and a cheeseburger?

Jared says at a dinner he's kind of greasy spoon type of guy so like a burger or something. That's at a diner, but he probably orders salads more than burgers.

Jensen would probably go burger or burrito if they have it. And Jared says that's cause it's probably 2am, probably on the way home. He knows hubby so well 🥰

Jensen comments there's a dinner close to where he lives that they go to sometimes, and he's a creature of habit so they have this big massive burrito that he has no business eating all of but he does.

He mentions it has hot sauce so the fan asks if they like spicy food, they do, and Jensen says he likes jalapeños on his pizza all the time. They also mention Hot Ones and how they'd like to do it. x

J2 Gold Panel Minncon

[booklove22]

Last night, my 47 year old “otherwise healthy”brother died of Stage 4 colon cancer. He was diagnosed 6 months ago at age 46 and did not have a single symptom until 8 months ago. The tumor in his colon was the size of a softball and his liver was covered in several inoperable tumors that had spread from the first one.

The first line treatments did not work (which is quite common unfortunately- the chemo options for this type of cancer often aren’t effective) and his liver began to fail just a week into his 2nd line treatment (which was even more unlikely to work anyway). He leaves behind his wife and two teenage sons, his step-daughters, my devastated parents, and me and my other siblings.

The age for colonoscopy screening in the US starts at 45. Even if my then-symptomless brother had gotten a routine colonoscopy screening on his 45th birthday, he still would have been diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. His oncologist estimated he’d probably had this cancer for the past 7 years or so. Its extremely slow growing and a “silent cancer” - meaning it typically doesn’t present symptoms until its Stage 4 and considered “incurable”. Most people diagnosed at Stage 4 die with a couple of years of diagnosis. My brother got 6 months.

This cancer used to be uncommon in people under 60. However people are now being diagnosed in their 20-40’s because of factors primarily related to the problems inherent in the food we eat (processed, pesticides, and microplastic contaminated).

The point is, getting a routine colonoscopy at 45 would not have saved him.

I’m taking every opportunity I have to beg people to start getting colonoscopy screenings much earlier than 45. Here is what you need to know (FYI this is United States specific):

1) If you are 45, insurance will cover routine colonoscopy screenings (which generally occur every 5-7 years). Screenings last about 30 min and occur under some level of anesthesia (from “awake-but-loopy” to “fully unconscious” if you prefer that). You can opt to do it without anesthesia too, if anesthesia makes you nervous.

2) If you are under 45 with no symptoms, you can still request one. If you have the money to do so, you can pay out of pocket (you should be able to get an estimate beforehand).

3) If you are under 45 and have any symptoms (for example: GI pain, blood in your stool, recurring diarrhea, etc.), you can request one and it will be covered by insurance. I’m not encouraging lying about having symptoms to get insurance coverage. 👀

4) Likewise, if you have a family history of colon cancer (particularly a 1st degree relative), age is irrelevant and insurance will cover it. I’m not encouraging lying about having a family history to get insurance coverage. 👀

5) Some people are afraid or embarrassed to get a colonoscopy (they stick a camera up where?? 🍑 ) but please I can tell you that all it really amounts to is a really good 30 min anesthesia nap, some residual gas, and a day off from work. Compare that to watching my brother slowly and painfully die these past 6 months.

6) Also important: getting regular colonoscopies actually prevents you from ever getting colon cancer. Colon cancer always begins as a non-cancerous growth called a polyp. Those polyps sometimes stay non-cancerous but sometimes they evolve into cancer. Any polyps found during a colonoscopy are automatically removed by the doctor during the colonoscopy, thereby preventing you from ever getting colon cancer at all. This differs from say, a mammogram, which doesn’t prevent you from getting breast cancer, but does provide an avenue for catching it earlier if you do develop it.

7) Colon cancer is one of the most common cancers in both men and women (Top 3 most common) and one of the most deadly.

This has been my PSA for the day.

There are so many cancers that we are simply at the whim of, this doesn’t have to be one of them. And don’t let garbage age minimums for screening get in the way.

[harrumphingtons]

That whole bar scene with Jamie and Roy felt completely out of character for both of them. I literally do not even know what that was.

For starters, Jamie’s “I know in my heart that Keeley and I are meant to be together” (may not be the exact line) kind of felt really out of nowhere. Jamie definitely still loves Keeley, but I have genuinely been getting the vibe all season that Jamie ships RoyKeeley more than he wants to get back together with Keeley? It’s very likely that the first time Jamie meaningfully interacted with Keeley after she and Roy broke up was when he went to apologize about the video. And in Mom City episode, when he walked into his room and found Roy and Keeley sitting there holding hands, he smiled. And that wasn’t a smile of defeat. That wasn’t a smile of accepting a challenge. That wasn’t a “hahaha I’ve interrupted a Roy Keeley moment suck it Roy” smile. That was a genuinely happy smile. That was a “oh crap I interrupted a RoyKeeley moment and oops about that I guess but more importantly there was a RoyKeeley moment happening in the first place to be interrupted” smile. That was a “happy that two friends are possibly getting back together” smile.

And it’s not just that. It doesn’t seem like Jamie’s thought that he and Keeley getting back together was a realistic possibility since, like, season one? Maybe it’s just me projecting my admittedly fanon-diluted interpretation of Jamie onto actual canon Jamie, but I’ve always seen his feelings for Keeley as more of a “I still love you and I think I always will, but I accept that you don’t feel the same way, and being just friends is plenty enough for me.” Like, he and Roy weren’t even that close at the beginning of the season, and yet when Jamie found out they’d broken up, who’d he go after? Roy. Not Keeley, Roy. Again, as far as we know, Jamie didn’t even talk to Keeley that much (if at all) until he went to apologize to her about the video. Like Jamie himself said in season two, he respects Roy, and he respects Keeley, and he respects their relationship (while it still, y’know… existed) — and in choosing to go after Roy instead of Keeley, he made it abundantly clear what his first priority was, and it wasn’t trying to get back together with Keeley. Maybe you could argue that he didn’t want to jump in right after she broke up with Roy, wanted to give her some time and space… but if his refusal to back off in the bar scene is to be believed as his true feelings and intentions, then would he not have gone after Keeley first? Been a good friend to her, and in doing so have made it more likely she’d develop feelings for Jamie while she got over Roy? But that’s not what Jamie did. And because of that, the way he acted in the bar scene literally made no sense.

But what felt even more wrong to me than that line was the way he bragged about the video of Keeley that got leaked being something she made for him. I mean, already Roy and Jamie’s weird, Keeley-centric, who’s-got-a-bigger-dick contest was just… no. But in We’ll Never Have Paris, in that locker room PSA-type scene, Jamie was one of the most adamant about people’s privacy and respecting other people and all that stuff. And I know the bar scene isn’t entirely the same thing, but, well, he and Roy both, before that moment, seemed very firmly the kind of men who did not, and never did, see Keeley as some sort of prize to be won. They were better than that. It’s really weird that their characters took such a turn so suddenly, especially considering it was in the season finale that is likely also the show finale (has that been confirmed yet?). Generally, you don’t suddenly take two major characters’ growth and just. Weirdly turn it around in a way that doesn’t even make sense, especially not at the end of the story.

And it’s not just Jamie. It was Roy, too, that seemed deeply misrepresented as a character. Ok, I will concede that Roy getting jealous and trying to get Jamie to back off is honestly somewhat in keeping with his character, and I do like that he didn’t just outgrow all his faults by the end of the show. Because real people, like, don’t work like that. But Roy’s jealousy was something he’s been shown working through and something that kinda seemed like it was resolved by now? And if not entirely resolved, I do think a more in-character Roy would still have realized that literally asking Jamie to back off is a little bit possessive, considering he and Keeley were, in his own words, just starting to talk again, nothing serious, nothing official.

OH. And that “but she’s a woman, so you never know” comment... NUH UH. NONONONONO ABSOLUTELY NOT. Like, one, that was not okay to say what the fuck, and two, ooc as hell, coming from Roy. Even at the very beginning of season one, he was never misogynistic and sexist — the worst thing he ever did along those lines was his reaction to Keeley having had sex with Jamie after they kissed in Liverpool (after the Everton match) and then he walked away in s1, and even that was arguably more about his hatred for Jamie and his jealousy issues than it was about anything regarding Keeley herself and women and sexism and misogyny in general.

Anyways, for all those reasons, I am really glad Keeley turned them both away, because the way they were treating her and talking about her, all possessive and everything, was not it, and I’m glad they themselves also recognized that (the part, after Keeley kicked them out, when Roy said, “we’re idiots” and Jamie was like, “yep”). But that whole situation felt super out of place and weirdly dropped in and out of character. And the two of them actually getting into a physical fight over Keeley? It was funny on a surface level for all of two seconds, but even as I first watched it, it seemed funky, and the more I think about it, the more childish and ridiculous and again, out of character it seems. As a whole, the one and only Roy and Jamie and Keeley arc in that final episode was deeply unsatisfying and discrediting to their characters — for Keeley, in the sense that she didn’t actually have much of a role and was more of a side character in the episode — and not true to their characters and overall just wrong.

I'm really disappointed with the way they ended these three's arc -- it didn't even have to end up ot3 or RoyKeeley or RoyJamie or JamieKeeley, they just needed to be friends and on good terms, in my opinion. These three were shown to be pretty close friends just in Mom City, and then the finale went and subverted all of that for literally no apparent reason. And sure, there was that little throwaway moment in the ending montage with the three of them (plus Phoebe) sitting together at the barbecue, but. Come on. The last time we see these three speak to each other, it's (somewhat) in bad blood, and I just feel like that's a huge disservice to all three of their individual characters, and the relationships they've been building with each other for literally the entire show.

[drsunnygarg]

Top Prostate Cancer Doctor in Gurgaon: Your Guide to Expert Care

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Understanding Prostate Cancer

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Why Choose a Specialized Prostate Cancer Doctor?

When it comes to prostate cancer, the expertise of your doctor plays a critical role in your treatment and recovery. A specialized prostate cancer doctor, often a urologist or an oncologist with specific experience in prostate cancer, is well-versed in the latest treatment protocols, diagnostic techniques, and management strategies. These specialists offer personalized care tailored to the unique needs of each patient, ensuring the best possible outcomes.

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Gurgaon is home to several world-class hospitals and medical institutions that house some of the top prostate cancer doctors in the country. Here are a few renowned specialists:

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Radiation Therapy: High-energy rays are used to target and kill cancer cells.

Hormone Therapy: This therapy reduces the body’s production of testosterone, slowing the growth of cancer cells.

Chemotherapy: Used in advanced stages, chemotherapy involves the use of drugs to kill cancer cells.

Conclusion

Choosing the right prostate cancer doctor in Gurgaon is crucial for ensuring the best care and treatment outcomes. With a wealth of experience and access to the latest medical technology, these top doctors provide comprehensive and personalized care, helping patients navigate their treatment journey with confidence. Regular screenings, early detection, and expert medical advice are key to successfully managing prostate cancer.

[trashyocstash]

i want to talk about mark, being that i've been developing him more and have a lot to say(also thankful that making the story original breathed new life into the characters and i'm much more concerned about historical accuracy than ever before).

so, i imagine mark's parents married on a whim, they were young, in love and in 1950, the average age of marriage for men was 22.8 and 20.3 for women; so you additionally have pressure to marry young. but it fell apart, because societal pressure meant women were told to focus on husband and family over a career and mark's mother fell into this, feeling she had to give up any career aspirations to be a housewife..thus building up resentment and hatred between mark's parents, which was taken out on each other and mark.

additionally, mark was forcefully attempted by his family and society to conform to traditional male gender roles: be strong, intelligent, athletic, assertive, ambitious, tough and men were expected to never show weakness, to not participate in any traditionally feminine activities and young boys had the expectations that one day, they would be the breadwinners of their own families.

but mark is, naturally, a more gentle, peaceful type. additionally, he has a learning disability and has never been particularly athletic or interested in sports in the first place. he was unable to live up to what was expected of him, which contributed to his abuse. his father believed strongly in abiding by traditional gender roles, and thought that mark was destined to be a failure. it should also be noted that during this time, it was believed children should be seen, not heard.

additionally, we have to take into account the context of the 50s being a decade of fear. this was during the height of the cold war, so you had the fear of nuclear war and communism. children of the 50s had duck and cover drills to prepare them for a nuke going off, and some schools gave kids dog tags in case their bodies were destroyed beyond recognition, also in the event of a nuke. for additional historical context, a psa about duck and cover shown to 50s kids.

and not only that, but polio was going around during this time.

i bring all these up, because these all contributed to mark turning out the way he did. the first inklings of the mark we know popped up when he was teenager(about 1966/1967). prior to that, he was very shy, quiet, scared and nervous, not at all the goofball activist he would grow up to become. seeing the vietnam war on TV and the growing hippie movement. mark was appalled by the war, and felt drawn to the hippie movement, believing in their ideals. he joined up with a group of them and became one. for the first time ever, he found people that liked him and accepted him for who he was, and it is here where he met kent, charlotte and sandra. around this time, he also met julie and vivian, and fell in love with vivian(who returned his feelings).

on the other hand, mark's parents hated and were frustrated by his hippie rebellion, so he was subsequently kicked out. from here, he ended up living with julie and her parents. being away from his parents, and having his friends and his community, both loving and supportive, over time allowed him to become his true, authentic self: a goofball with a big heart who believes in peace, kindness and justice for all.

he grew up abused, in a time of fear and war, with parents that hated each other. he saw and experienced suffering, and did not want anyone to suffer like he had to. he chooses to be kind and peaceful, because he believes it is what is right and abhors violence, war and suffering. mark is kind, compassionate, selfless, understanding and participates in protests and other activism work, doing his part to help the world become better. he believes even the smallest acts of kindness can have the greatest impact. and because of his parent's relationship, mark believes in finding someone he truly loves(vivian).

but, mark is not the perfect victim. he is still traumatized and broken, he just attempts to hide it from others, not wishing to worry and upset them. he doesn't trust machine initially but never says a word until later because he doesn't want to upset julie. he's great at giving advice and is a good listener, but ask him to talk about his own feelings and he freezes up. julie could never talk about the deaths of her parents with him because of it, and he's been unable to tell vivian he loves her. he has cigarette burns and scars on his body from his abuse, so doesn't like to be topless around anyone he doesn't know well. mark is also a people pleaser, again he doesn't want to worry and upset others, he seeks constant approval. he priorizes other people over himself to the point of neglecting his own needs. mark is afraid of causing disagreements, is afraid of loud noises and gets jumpy with touch.

but luckily, mark's arc will involve him healing. abuse is the kind of thing that always sticks with you, but he'll get better, don't worry.

[pooma-bible]

Sister Savita Manwani

"Greetings in the Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I welcome you all to hear the word of God and be blessed.

Let us Pray: Gracious Father we thank you for this privilege you gave us to study your word today. Lord, I pray you bless us this day, anoint us and help us to learn from you and live our lives according to your word. In Jesus’ name Amen.

Topic: Prayer for A Revived Church

"God be merciful to us and bless us, And cause His face to shine upon us, that Your way may be known on earth, Your salvation among all nations.… Then the earth shall yield her increase; God, our own God, shall bless us. God shall bless us, and all the ends of the earth shall fear Him. (Psa. 67:1-2, 6-7).

In speaking of and praying for revival, it is important that we understand what we really desire and ask for. To most Christians the word conveys the meaning of a large increase in the number of conversions. When that happens, they say, "There has been quite a revival in that church (or town)."

The true meaning of the word is far deeper. The word means making alive again those who have been alive but have fallen into what is called a cold, or dead, state. They are Christians and have life, but they need reviving to bring them back to their first love and the healthy growth of the spiritual life to which conversion was meant to be the entrance.

When the church as a whole, its ministers and members, is not living in full wholehearted devotion to Christ and His service, is not walking in the joy of the Lord and separation from the world, we need to pray, more than for the conversion of the unconverted, that God’s people may truly be revived and have the life of God in power restored to them.

It may be said: Is not adding new converts the best way of reviving the church? Does not that awaken interest, and gladness, and the Christians to new activity? This may be true, and yet not meet the real need for two reasons: First, such a revival is generally very temporary, and soon leaves the church settling down to its ordinary level. Second, these converts, when brought into a church that is not living in the warmth of the true spiritual life – in all holiness and fruitfulness – are not helped as they need, and do not rise above the lukewarmness around them.

What we need to pray and labor for, first of all, is that the church of true believers may be revived. What the world needs above everything is not more men and women of the ordinary type of Christians but better people. We need Christians who are stronger in faith and holier in life, intensely devoted to Christ and His service and ready to sacrifice all for the salvation of souls.

When God’s Spirit is poured out upon the church, and men and women, who are now struggling on in feebleness, are clothed with the garments of praise and the power of the Spirit, the world will soon share the blessing. These revived believers will be ready to give themselves to God’s work at home or abroad; their word and witness will be in power.

Nominal Christians will be judged by the power of the revived ones’ example, and will confess that God is with them. And the world will, in the increased numbers and the burning fervor of the messengers of a quickened church, share in the blessing. A revival among believers is the great need of our day. A revived church is the only hope of a dying world.

If our conviction of this truth is to be deep and influential, if by it our desire and faith in prayer for revival are really to be stirred and strengthened, we need the Holy Spirit of God to reveal the meaning of such words in the light of God’s purpose.

The spiritual character of the church, its great object as the instrument of God’s almighty power in conquering the world, and the conditions under which that purpose can be accomplished, are all thoughts of God – as high above our thoughts as the heavens are above the earth.

It will need to be one of the very first things we pray for – that God Himself shows what His church is meant to be, what He has promised to be to it, and how His plan with her is to be carried out. Let us try to think out some of the great thoughts of God as revealed in His Word.

▪️God’s Great Purpose for the Church

The church has the charge of the world entrusted to it. When Christ finished His work on earth and went to heaven to carry it on there, He spoke of two powers to whom the continuation of the work on earth was to be committed. He spoke of the Holy Spirit, who should come in His name to convict the world of sin and be a divine power in His disciples to reveal Himself in them, and so make them witnesses for Him to the ends of the earth.

He spoke of His disciples as those whom He sent into the world, even as the Father had sent Him. Just as entirely as He had lived to do the Father’s will in saving men and women so was His Spirit to do that work, too. And just as wholly as the Spirit was to be devoted to that work was the body, the church, to be set apart for it.

The whole body of believers, and every individual believer, was to be like Christ, the light of the world, placed in the world with the one definite, exclusive object of enlightening its darkness and bringing men and women out of darkness into light.

▪️Empowered by the Holy Spirit

To do its work the church has the promise of the power of the Holy Spirit of God. That Spirit is given to every believer to be within him the power of a divine and holy life. That Spirit is to be to him the seal of his worship and acceptance, the fountain of love and joy, the grace for conquering sin and the world, the power to do all that God would have us do.

That Spirit is to enlighten and guide and lead, to sanctify and fit for unbroken fellowship with a holy God, to reveal Christ the Son of God the Father within the heart. He is to be a fountain springing up within and flowing forth as streams of living water in what He thus works in personal experience; He equips the person to boldly testify about God’s power and to communicate to others what has happened in his own life.

Without the power of the Holy Spirit fully recognized and experienced, the church cannot know or fulfil its calling. With His power the life and fruit God asks for are natural and sure. When the Spirit does not work in power, it is proof that another spirit has been allowed to take its place.

There are only two spirits in the spiritual world – the Spirit of God and the spirit of the world. Between these there is an unceasing struggle going on. It is because Christians live so much for this present world, and under its power, that its spirit gets possession of them, and grieves and quenches the Spirit of God.

They lose the power to conquer sin or live a holier life. They lose any intense desire to live for God and His kingdom. They lose the divine love that would enable them to live for or to have influence on their neighbors. Their religion becomes that of the mind and not of the heart.

They are willing to listen to beautiful words on religion, and count the pleasing impressions these make as religious feeling. And all the while they are quenching the life in them into impotence and death. This is the state in which multitudes of Christians live, making themselves and their churches powerless for good or for blessing.

It is out of this state that a revival is needed to lift the church into its true life, according to the divine pattern.

▪️Preparing the Way for Revival

A true revival means nothing less than a revolution, casting out the spirit of worldliness and selfishness and making God and His love triumph in the heart and life. As every birth has its travails and its pangs, so this entrance of a new divine life in power into a church must be preceded and accompanied by the pains of conviction and confession, by the earnest searching’s of heart in which sin is discovered, is held up to shame, and condemned.

In such a work of grace many will learn how little truth or power there has been either in their conversion or their spiritual life. They will see things that they tolerated to be vile sin that nothing but the blood of Christ can wash away and the power of Christ can overcome. They will no longer wonder at someone speaking of the need of a second conversion; the experience of many will teach them that the change is even greater.

They will see that now, for the first time, they truly know what the power of grace is, what the blessedness of God’s love is, and what the joy of a heart given to His service is. And work for Christ will be the spontaneous fruit of God’s Spirit coming on them.

On those who believe that a revival is needed and is possible rests the solemn responsibility of preparing the way of the Lord in speaking to God and men and women about it. To God we speak about it in prayer. We ask Him to open our own eyes and hearts, and those of our church, to what He thinks and says of the spiritual life He finds.

We confess our own sin and the sin of our brethren. We give ourselves to stand in the gap, to take hold of God’s strength. We ask the Spirit to give us the consciousness of being intercessors, who in tender love, and yet in holy zeal and truth, speak to God about the state in which His church is.

Not in the spirit of judgment or self-exaltation, but in deep humility and the spirit of self-sacrifice, we ask God to show us if it is true what we think we see – that the spirit of self-will and the world is robbing the church of its power to continue to carry out the work Christ began. We ask God to reveal to us if and how deliverance can come.

And so we are prepared to lift up our testimony and speak to our brethren. It may not happen at once: the fire may burn long in our bones. It may not be to large audiences, or with any marked result. But if our speaking to men is the fruit of much speaking to God, of real waiting on Him for revival, it must tell.

As one here and another there – this is usually God’s way – begins to see what God’s will really be concerning His church, the cause of her failure, and the path of restoration and what the certainty of the visitation of His grace, his prayer will become more urgent and believing, and the blessing will come.

▪️Faith in God for Revival

All this must lead to the assured faith that a revived church is a possibility, a promise, and a certainty. As in the individual and his needs, so with the church and the mighty change to be wrought in it: unbelief is the great hindrance.

And faith can triumph only where it stands, not in the wisdom of men and in the hope they have of revival from all the agencies that are at work, and all the progress they see, but in the power of God and His direct intervention. Faith looks up to and worships the God of absolute omnipotence and infinite love. God can, God will – these are its foundational strengths, on the right hand and on the left.

Yes, God is able! It needs but an act of His will; and His Holy Spirit, the mighty power of God working in His church, can give new life to all who long to receive Him. He can work conviction in those who are resting content in external prosperity and human agencies. He can give the joy of the Holy Spirit, first in single churches and then in larger bodies. He can awaken His people, as out of sleep, to see, consent, and rejoice that they are indeed the hope of a dying world.

And God is ready! As the sun pours its light and warmth on every tiny flower to give it growth and beauty, God’s love is waiting and longing to pour itself into hearts that reach out after Him. Sometimes it may appear as if He waits long and delays His coming.

But let us be sure of this: He does not wait one moment longer than is needful. We may depend upon it, with the utmost confidence, that if His children unite in praying for a revived church as the only hope of a dying world, He will hear the prayer.

…As the solemn words "a revived church the only hope for a dying world" are borne in upon us and burned into us, prayer and intercession will become a transaction with God. Our utter helplessness will have to take hold of and cling to His almighty power.

Our whole life must become possessed by the thought that there is nothing worth living for but the will of God in the salvation of men.

Allow me to end here….May God bless everyone in this group."

[god-whispers]

mar 1

tears in His bottle

"You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?" psa 56:8

i don't know about you but i'm a cryer; an emotional cryer.  the world tells us there are three types of tears.  basal tears - basal tears are in your eyes at all time to lubricate, protect, and nourish your cornea.  reflex tears - reflex tears are produced in response to irritation, such as by smoke, wind, dust, onions, etc.  finally emotional tears - emotional tears are produced in response to pain, including physical pain, empathetic pain, sentimental pain, as well as emotional states, such as sadness, happiness, fear, and other emotional states.

i would supose most emotional tears are reserved for women.  the world says it is not manly for men to cry even though we have instances recorded of men weeping.  esau wept when he realized his blessing had been stolen.  peter wept when he had betrayed Jesus.  and yes, the shortest verse in the bible: "Jesus wept." john 11:35

if our emotional weeping is to water spiritual truths, then it is a good thing indeed.  how can a real christian help but weep when they see so many paving their road to hell.  "blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage.  as they pass through the valley of baca (weeping), they make it a spring." psa 84:5-6  our tears can serve to water the seeds of life planted in another.

heavens knows this mortal life furnishes us with enough opportunities to weep.  "in the world you will have tribulation." john 16:33  the successful christian walk will lead us to the cross and it is through the dying to self that Christ may live in us.  "we are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed — always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." 2 cor 4:8-10  if this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most miserable.

if one has their eyes on this life alone, it's easy to understand why they would be disenchanted and want to eat, drink and be merry instead.  that's what the sadducees were.  they did not believe in resurrection.  then there were the pharisees who believed they had to "earn" their afterlife.  i believe those two examples cover the scope of people today who have no Christ in their life.  only "the fool has said in his heart, "there is no God." psa 14:1

the truth is, life (in whatever form) continues to be because God continues to be.  you know the universe continues to expand because God is.  there is only life in God and that life, emanating in all created things, struggles to keep up with the creator.  in life, in light, in truth and in love.  there's no shadow of turning.  it will continue to grow and expand as long as the Word that created it continues.

this God... this amazing God who numbers even the hairs on everyone's head, it seems is collecting our tears in His bottle.  i believe He knows when and why each was shed.  i also believe the tears shed for His glory or from care of others are like diamonds that will become the jewels with which to decorate the new creation.

the righteous tears we shed must be shed now because there will be no room for tears later.  "and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." rev 21:4

will we not weep for those who never turned to the living God in repentance and prayer, especially loved ones?  one would think so but God has ruled it out.  will the chasm separating life and death be too great for even memory to cross?  one of God's greatest miracles may be waiting to be revealed.  we must spend our tears on them now.  there will be no place for them later.

[ccaptain]

fleshed out kaeya’s taste in men thanks to the two current relationships he has:

- extremely strong, muscular, (even slighty) taller than him that look like they could murder people and break things and do, in fact, murder people and break things but treat him with the utmost adoration, gentleness and spoil him, are wrapped around his little finger and with a surprisingly well-hidden domestic side to them. also their tits must be humongous for pillow purposes. optional bloodlust/bloodknight

thanks for coming to my TED talk! kaeya is so fucking gay

[xxanime-absxx]

Did we collectively forget how hot Rick from Happily N'Ever After was?

Because guys, come on, if you liked Flynn Rider, Dimitri from Anastasia, or Aladdin, you had to like Rick

Just look at him, feel the vibe he puts off

He's got the whole rugged peasant boy with a heart of gold thing, will clean your house for you

Really badass, probably got killer arm strength from washing all those dishes

Look at his CUTE FLOPPY HAIR AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER

MAGIC MOTORCYCLE

Snarkalicious charm, always smirking

AGAIN THE HAIR anyway I have a type perpetuated by cartoon characters and this has been my TED talk

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Hello! can you do a scenario with fem!reader and father's best friend!namjoon? I totally understand if this is a concept you're uncomfortable with. All the armys are going crazy with the dilf!bts concept so I need to have this 😭

Tbh that's a hard concept (like absolutely don't do this irl y'all plss it's not okay if it's not fiction– go in the notes to read my PSA pls) so I had to write a bit of plot at the beginning just because I wanted to make it as less weird as possible lol

Namjoon wasn't the type of family friend you got to see a lot growing up. He was, however, the type of friend you got to hear about a lot. Your dad had spent his high school years being in a band that never really had its break, and Namjoon had apparently been the youngest member and your father's favourite. He kept talking about how he "raised" him, meaning he helped him get his first kiss and taught him about girls. Then your dad got your mum pregnant right after graduating, and they both decided to move to the US to find a job and start their family. Your family. And so your dad lost touch with his best friend.

He talked about him quite often, and you knew he had even visited once when you were still too young to have a memory of it. You had only ever seen a couple of pictures of them together; Namjoon looked like a very cringy 13-year-old with a terrible haircut. Not that your dad as a teenager looked any better. But that's beside the point. It doesn't matter what he looked like back then, today you probably wouldn't be able to even recognize him even if he passed you on the street.

"Did I tell you? My best friend moved here from Korea! The band kids are back together!"

Namjoon came back into your father's life at around the same time as you left it– moved away for college. And you kept getting all these updates on how great it was that they found each other again, how many things they did together and in general how happy your dad was. When you visited home for Christmas, Namjoon was away so you didn't run into him. And almost a year after he had moved there, you would finally meet him during the summer. Your father invited him for dinner one hot evening in July.

You opened the door to find him standing outside, your mother just a step behind to greet him. “Joonie! So glad you could make it. Come on in, come on in... Ah! As you know, this is our daughter.”

The man was tall and handsome, nothing like the pictures you had seen. And familiar. His eyes met yours and he smiled, making your blood run cold— you had seen that man before. Not even a week ago, staring at you at the bar while sipping his whiskey until you decided he was too hot and couldn’t be older than 30, so you walked up to him and gave him a napkin with your number and a lipstick stain of a kiss on it. He never called.

“Wow,” Namjoon said without his tone matching his words. “She has grown up so much.” And he looked you up and down again, checking you out kind of like he had done that night. Your entire face was burning, turning on your heels to get away. What the fuck kind of luck was that? He was your dad's friend? You hoped– you begged that he didn't recognize you. He wasn't saying anything, though his eyes kept on stealing looks, and so you thought you might have had a close escape. Until you run into each other in the kitchen. Alone. "Come here, young lady," he said in a deep voice that sent shivers down your spine. You already felt like you were in trouble. "Does your father know you go around giving your number to men almost twice your age?"

He was so close, eyes travelling lazily down your form with a smirk on his lips. "No," you choked. "I– I don't– You were staring at me, that's why I thought..."

"I was staring at you because I was trying to figure out if you were my best friend's daughter."

Hearing him say the words made your cheeks burn. Defeat. He had a logical excuse and all you had was that he was a little too much your type. And he sounded like he was scolding you, reminding you of your place. You lowered your head, really wanting to get out. "Please don't tell him."

Don't tell him I hit on you. Don't tell him I wanted to fuck you.

Namjoon didn't reply right away, but late that night you got a text from an unknown number. "I won't tell him anything."

He won't tell him anything. Perhaps that could be applied to what had already happened, or what would happen in the future.

You didn't text frequently, but you did nonetheless. And even though you were sure both of you would say they were simple, innocent texts, how innocent could they really be when the man already knew how you felt about him? Maybe you were crazy, but you thought he might like you too. Maybe he liked the fact that you liked him. It wasn't evident in anything he did or say, just the vibes you got from him those days he visited your house, or the way he looked at you when you were left alone for a second. The summer passed by so fast when every other day you met your father's best friend in one way or another.

When it was time for you to move back to the city where you attended college, Namjoon just so happened to be going there for some work too. And your parents were grateful that you had someone to travel with. The car ride was long and mostly silent. You had never been left alone for so long and suddenly you realised how hard it was to keep a conversation going without talking about how horny he made you feel just by being in the same, tight space with you. But the farther away you got from home, the less you cared about keeping your good reputation up.

"Where will you sleep tonight?" you asked him after he helped drop off all your stuff at your apartment late that night and was already at the door, ready to leave.

"I'll find a hotel," he told you, hand still on the door handle.

"You can stay here if you want to."

"Don't–" His plea was soft-spoken, in contrast to the intense way his eyes were piercing yours.

"Don't what?" you acted dumb. "All I'm saying is I'm sure dad would rather you stay instead of paying for a room. You're like family, anyway."

You noticed how he took in a deep breath, grip around the knob getting harder. "Don't bring him into this."

Saying that you two shouldn't mention your father was like admitting what was going on right now was beyond innocent. And even though your stomach clenched at his harsh tone, you bowed your head and whispered. "I'm sorry."

"This is so wrong," you heard him call loudly all of a sudden, making you look back at him. He was chewing on his lip desperately. "I was there when your dad got your mom pregnant. Do you know what I said? Fuck, man, how are you gonna get out of this bullshit? I shouldn’t be…"

You blinked at him, waiting to hear the end of the sentence. "Shouldn't be what?" You weren't gonna let him slip away that easily. You would push him until he had to say what he wanted to say. It was your only chance, anyway.

Namjoon sighed. He pushed the door closed and walked up to you steadily all while he was staring straight into your eyes. "Why did you give me your number that night?"

Your breathing was already getting heavier. You wouldn't back away. What was the point? He knew already. "Because you were hot. And I wanted you to fuck me."

He chewed his lip for a few seconds, watching your face as he contemplated his next words. "Why do you want me to stay over tonight?"

You gulped. He was so close, closer than ever. "Because you're hot," you whispered. Glance down on his lips. "And I want you to fuck me."

He closed his eyes momentarily before he was exhaling loudly. "Fucking– hell!"

And he instantly moved forward, one hand grabbing the back of your head as he brought your face to crush on his, mouths smashing against each other after all the times you had dreamed about it. It was so much better than you could have imagined, lips full and soft parting yours for his tongue to slip in between, making you moan. And you were trying to get closer and closer, almost tripping as you walked blindly further into the apartment. His jacket was discarded on the floor before your shirt joined it, and Namjoon was growling before attacking your neck with his teeth.

"Daddy..." The word truly slipped out of you, and he was pausing for a moment, pulling away to look at you.

"Really? You're really gonna call me daddy?" Your eyes were wide and cheeks burning, squirming away from him before he grabbed your wrist to keep you close. "Shit," he grunted, not sounding mad at all. "Alright, baby. Show daddy where your room is, need to get you in bed right away."

And you mewled at his words. You were there in no time, pulling the rest of your clothes off as Namjoon undressed too. Big and thick, he was even hotter like that, making you press your legs together as you took the sight in. And when he removed his boxers too, you got to found out his dick matched the rest of his body perfectly, long and thick and so hot it made your mouth water.

"Daddy," you whined as he started crawling over you. "You're so big. You're gonna tear me apart."

His large hand grabbed your jaw. "That's what you get for playing with big boys." And he kissed you ruthlessly again. His other hand travelling down your form until he found your pussy, fingers playing with your folds and humming in satisfaction. "So wet. Is that all for me, baby?"

"Yes, daddy," you moaned, hips trying to grind on his hand for some more friction. "I've been wet for you since I first saw you."

"Fuck. I know, baby," he breathed into your ear, two fingers slipping slowly inside you and stretching you out. "I could tell. You weren't hiding it very well, baby. How much you wanted me to ruin you. Which is why daddy's been hard for you all this time, too." Your breath was hitching as he was moving his hands slowly, not even trying to fuck you like that, just trying to get you ready for his cock. And he stopped. "Are you gonna let daddy fuck you raw, baby?"

You almost screamed. "Fuck, yes, daddy, please! Fuck me open with your cock."

Namjoon was growling as he retrieved his fingers from inside you. "What a dirty mouth! Who taught you to speak like that, you dirty, little whore? I thought you were a good girl."

Your nails were scratching his back as you whined and squirmed underneath him. "Oh, daddy, please! I need you! I'll be good for you."

And you felt the tip of his dick press against your entrance as he shushed you. "Alright then. Be a good girl for daddy and take this big cock like the good, little slut you are." And he shoved himself in you.

"O–oh my god!" you yelped. Namjoon didn't go easy on you, didn't go slow or gentle, he started pounding you fast and hard right away, truly fucking you open like you had asked him to. You were squirming underneath him but his body was so big and strong, it was caging you completely. And just to shut you up he kissed you again, tongue so deep in your mouth he was choking you. Namjoon was fucking you so hard he brought tears to your eyes, and you felt euphoric being used by him like that.

"My dirty, little cunt," he rasped after he freed your mouth. "Like taking my cock like that?" You were nodding, mewling, unable to speak. "What a good girl. Letting daddy fuck her as hard as he wants." He leaned back, grabbing your arms until he had your wrists pinned above your head and the new position gave him the ability to piston his hips against yours even faster, diving even deeper.

"Fuck, daddy, I'm gonna cum," you cried, legs shaking as they fought against his abusing thrusts between them.

"So easy," Namjoon panted with a smirk. "So easy to please you. Gonna cum cuz you've never had dick like daddy's before, huh? No one's ever fucked you this good? Those little boys your age, I bet they don't know shit about pleasing a nasty girl like you." He spat on his free hand and brought it right down on your clit, pressing on it hard. And you were moaning even louder. "There you go, baby. You can cum on daddy's dick now."

"Namjoon–" you yelped, and you felt your orgasm pop, gushing all your juices over him as he kept fucking you through it. He slowed down a bit, coming down to kiss you sloppily as you continued to whine with each thrust against your sensitive, tight walls.

"That's my good girl," he whispered, kissing you almost lovingly. "Don't worry, baby. We're not nearly done yet." And his thrusts slowly got deeper and deeper. "You really shouldn't have let me fuck you, baby. Cuz now I don't ever plan on stopping."

Masterlist | Part 2

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

If there's one fate fanon discord that I feel really uncomfortable about, it is without a doubt discourse on Gilgamesh's sexuality. This difficulty especially spiked when writing Gilgamesh romance headcanons as well, because I often felt as if I had to pick a side when writing them.

I just feel like determining him to be straight OR gay limits his options, and forces him into a box. And I really feel like Gilgamesh is the kind of character that cannot be pigeonholed into any sorts of boxes, especially as he lives in a way that is most true to his desires, often operating in ways that are beyond society's expectations of him.

Why can't he be bisexual, pansexual or at least in-between the spectrum of sexuality instead of being in a clearly defined category?

Yes, he was with many women in his myth, but who can discount the fact that he may have been with men as well? His main soulmate, Enkidu is masculine nonbinary as well, emphasizing that gender may not be the main focus behind his attraction. In fact, his white day romance quiz result focuses more on the character of a person he'd like; as well as other material that focuses on his type, and Gilgamesh barely- if ever-specifies a gender when explaining his type.

And yeah, he also has had his fair share of homoerotic subtext with Kotomine Kirei, with all the phallic wine glass references and talks on pleasure, which convinces me that he cannot just be straight. Even his incredibly uncomfortable harassment and obsession with Saber can be stated to originate less from her gender but more from his admiration for how brightly she shines when defying him, as well as many other things (that i forgot XD); but this emphasizes that he can feel attraction towards women as well (whether he respects them or not is an entirely different can of worms altogether).

Does gender really matter to one such as Gilgamesh in terms of attraction?! Is that what is most important to him in determining interest in another? Or could it be that it's one's character- the essence of a being's personality- that evokes an even greater sense of passion inside of his chest instead?

Maybe Gilgamesh defines his sexuality by his own terms, his own standards; in a way that is beyond society's commonly accepted labels.

Thank you for coming to my PSA!

[spinbitchzu]

I just saw your post about Tommy and had no idea he was a racist or a sexist :( I seriously used to love that man because I thought the way he responded to some people on twitter was funny and I watched his interview with Brent Miller. He seemed like a cool guy nooo

hmmm couple things to unpack here:

1) the words added to my original post, most notably by user @/nonbinarykai are not mine, nor does that person speak for me. I did not use the words racist or sexist in my post, which centered around my belief that mr Andreasen does not put a lot of love into the show and I don't think he's fit to be the show runner.

2) I do, nonetheless, think there is some truth to those claims, though perhaps with slightly more nuance. I think Tommy is very much responsible for the insensitive and tonally-off jokes from the early seasons — he's the creative director and he has the final call on everything. However, I also think the early seasons were a larger product of their time and the kind of humor many shows allowed on air, particularly since Ninjago was marketed towards young boys. It doesn't actually surprise me that they would implement this more mocking/insensitive type humor, whether it's towards girls or unmanly men or whatever. Finally, I am not a believer in judging people off mistakes they made a decade ago if they have made an effort to change. I do, in some ways see that effort, even if the execution doesn't always match.

However in large part, I do still hold a strong grudge toward him due to the money he and lego make off the bastardization of asian culture, as well as the complete lack of any kind of apology for the earlier mistakes. If there was some remorse shown I could probably be motivated to forgive him, but that doesn't seem to be the case. So, in the end, do I think he's a racist and a sexist? Well, I think he's condoned racism and sexism in his show, and what is art except a representation of the artist? I think he's exhibited a long history of ignorant and thoughtless behavior that he shows little awareness of. But I do hesitate to use such strong labels when there doesn't seem to be an active malignant intent.

3) the insight we gain from something like a filmed interview is so preciously little compared to the vastness of a person's life, career, and morals. this has been a psa to criticize your own parasocial relationships, particularly those with white men in positions of power.

[danny-chase]

Character Ask: Stephanie Brown

- first impression

...it very well might have been her calling Dick "sexy batman" and i laughed so hard

- impression now

Hooooo boy she deserves so much better. She's the underdog in and out of universe that no one has ever taken seriously. She's been used by men out of universe for cheap drama (war games) and a prolife PSA that wasn't interested in exploring the trauma of what they were putting her through instead just using her to parrot talking points and make them come out of a teenage girl's mouth (and won awards for it mind you) instead of considering how she would actually feel. In universe she's used as a pawn, mere bait to attract her boyfriend back to a role she's currently filling because that's all she's seen as good for. Comic writers don't seem to think it's a problem to write her not/ex-boyfriend as having the authority to fire her. Or to write her as responsible for "fixing" his mental health. Like are you kidding me? I have so many thoughts and feelings about how that is not her job and Bruce asking her to do that puts undue pressure on someone who literally just came back from a traumatic experience herself and needs care and support. I have feelings about how comics killed her off and then said ohhh, let's bring her back in a way that justifies the men in her life being able to blame her for things. Let's bring her back in a way that makes her seem worse. So my impressions on her now? At her best in her Batgirl run, she's defiant of her treatment, and a ray of hope despite everything life and batman editorial through in her way. And she deserves to give literally everyone a piece of her mind.

- favorite moment

I really liked her interactions with Damian. The moment she realizes Damian doesn't know how to be a kid and takes him to a bouncy house. Because I love that Steph can be that person to someone, and it was short but it was so sweet.

- idea for a story

I think it would have been interesting to see Dinah be a mentor to her, there were a few issues where they interacted with Dinah scaring her dad away from her house and protecting her. I don't really think Dinah's the type for sidekicks but I think it would have been interesting if she took on and trained Steph. Alternatively Dinah as a mentor would make for an interesting story, the one comic I read were they interacted in cataclysm (i think) made me craving more.

- favorite relationship

Her friendship with Cass. I really like the post that points out it's not perfect. And just like that's what makes it so good! It's compelling, there's shared trauma and bonding, it falls apart, there's regret, there could be more done with the reconciliation - the whole Cass passes on her mantle to Steph thing. It was interesting. Steph dying while she felt that Cass betrayed her? Cass being the only one to go looking for Steph during war games? 😭😭😭😭

- favorite headcanon

Thinking about her college major is always fun. There's a great post out there that makes a good case for psychology iirc, I'd also love to see nursing, like her mom.

[an-ambivalent]

Yandere! Claude [WMMAP]

WARNING:  This post contains yandere themes and mentions of other toxic behaviours that can be triggering and uncomfortable to read. So, read at your own risk. This work is purely fiction. I do not condone this behaviour irl. And uh, PSA, I haven’t been writing for a long time so its rusty :’) ok thanks. 

Fandom: Who Made Me a Princess 

Pairing: Reader-Insert

No beta, we die like men. 

dedicated to my friend @spiritualotaku​ 

First Meeting 

~ After the betrayal of his brother and his first partner, and then losing Diana, the only time Claude would be able to “love” again is after the black magic he casted upon himself has done its job and erased the memory of his last deceased partner. Even though he had hoped to freeze his heart so he would not be hurt anymore, a part of the spell worked but in a twisted away. So, the next time he does love someone else, his feelings were going to be different than how he may have felt for Penelope and had felt for Diana. 

~ There’s not really a particular scenario to exist that would be a catalyst for his “interest” in you. That would be something that would develop over time, so you would have to be in a position where you interact with him frequently. Nothing like a maid or something because Claude always keeps these types of servant roles at an arm's distance. It would have to be a role where you are able to interact with the Emperor, but not significant enough that he would become aware of you right off the bat. Perhaps you’re the blacksmith responsible for the royal guards’ weapons, or the assistant of the magician who is the healer for the knights; being in an occupation that allows you to have regular interactions with Felix, who is completely trusted by Claude and friendly with you, would allow Claude to have a more favourable first impression of you. 

~In this instance, let’s assume the role of the assistant healer. The royal guard magician healer and you were scheduled to visit to conduct the regular health check ups that happen for the guards. Since Felix was not there, you were told by your senior to go find and do his check ups and they would look after the rest. One of the castle workers guided you to the royal garden where you see your client, and the cold ruthless Emperor he is assigned to protect.  

“Blessings and Glory upon the sun of the Obelian Empire,” you and the maid greet simultaneously bowing, and both Felix and Claude’s gaze shift towards you. Recognition flashes across Felix’s face when he sees you, but the coldness glistening in Claude’s bright blue jeweled eyes is unmatched and new, as a murderous aura starts to radiate off him. You and the maid freeze under his overwhelming terrifying presence. 

“You must not value your life so much if you barge in here however as you please and disrupt my peace,” he said stoically. From the corner of your eyes, you saw the maid beginning to tremble in fear. Along with this, although your face was looking at the ground in order to avoid the Emperor's gaze, you felt a spike of magic from him. You didn’t mean to, but you subconsciously released your own magic output, and put up a defensive shield around you and the maid in case the self-entitled Emperor was going to harm her or you for “disrupting his [poor] peace.”

This, of course did not go unnoticed by Claude who narrowed his eyes at you, wondering how you could be gutsy enough to usher him a challenge like that. Luckily, the situation did not escalate to that point since Felix jumped in. 

“Your Majesty, please don’t harm them. They’re here for me, I had forgotten I am meant to see the magician today. I ask that you do not hold them accountable for this.” 

Claude fixed his cold stare on Felix for a few seconds, who was accustomed to it, so he was able to hold his ground. And then,it was obviously evident that his gaze was fixated on you with the way you felt goosebumps rise at the nape of your neck. 

“I wasn’t aware the magician was a woman,” Claude pointed out, and the way he stated this made it seem like an accusation of some sort because everyone flinched as he had spoken. Felix stepped in front of you and the maid to act as a shield, and addressed Claude with a stern tone. 

“I’m sorry for the trouble that’s been caused for you because of me, Your Majesty. To not be of inconvenience to you anymore, we will excuse ourselves.” Felix bowed, and then led you and the maid out of the garden. You would have breathed out a sigh in relief and thanked Felix, but your breath and your words were stuck in your throat (coronavirus). Because for the entire time until the garden was out of your sight, the cold and intense gaze of the royal jeweled eyes, stayed fixated on you. 

How it happens 

~Although your first meeting with the Emperor had started off with a slight rift to say the least, other employees in the castle had noticed that an odd acquaintanceship had developed between you and Claude. Actually, it was an acquaintanceship in their eyes. In reality, it was completely one-sided because you entertained his whims to stay alive. He was the Emperor who could have your head whenever he wanted, and you were forced by your magician boss to interact with him in hopes that you making a good impression on him would somehow benefit him. 

~Claude’s interest in you had developed from the things he heard about you from the knights. They spoke of how attentive you were to their care each time, and whenever they were suffering from a painful injury, you made sure to numb the area around that injury to reduce their pain as much as possible. They spoke kind words about your humour, and the homemade sweets you always brought with you to give to them once their check up was over; it was a small action, but the thought behind it was really appreciated by the knights. You conversed, informed, and asked for their consent each time before you did something unlike your boss, who just wanted to finish the job as soon as possible. 

Claude also recalled how you had instantly jumped to the defense of that incompetent maid when he had unleashed his mana to intimidate her -- you had done this as if it was second nature to you. You had acted against him and not even paused to consider the consequences you may have faced for going against the Emperor. It intrigued him and he wanted to understand you. Although Obelia’s residents’ quality of life had improved after Claude became the sovereign and reduced the corruption from his father’s and brother’s reign, there were still many greedy and power hungry scum that he had to deal with. For this reason, his desire to approach someone seemingly as kind as you became stronger. 

And so, your regular tea time with Claude commenced. 

Yandere  

~Once Claude develops affection for you, he would have possessive traits as a yandere. He has lost so much already too, to make sure it does not happen again, he would want you to belong solely to him. He would keep you away from everyone else. 

~He will be clingy; there is no respect or regard for any boundaries you set. If he wants to touch you, hug you, and show affection, but you find his touch aversive or ever try to pull away, he will simply ignore you and force you to comply with him. If you struggle too much, he will use a spell that acts a relaxant to cease your thrashing. 

~Although Claude is rather temperamental and threatens people easily, he would have a bit more patience with you. But, he will not hesitate to threaten you if you give him too much trouble. If anything or anyone else tries to hurt you or take you away from him, he will hurt them. Ruthlessly. 

~He keeps you isolated so the chances of someone else trying to steal you away from him are low. However, in any instances you were out in public, he expects you to stick to his side and not initiate or respond to anyone. He expects you to stay quietly and obediently by his side, and let him do the talking for you to keep you fully to himself. 

General things 

~Once your relationship has been there for enough time, he will gift you your own palace. But even before that, he will spoil you lavishly with the most beautiful jewels and clothes he wants to see you in, or think you will look beautiful in. 

~When it is just you and him, he prefers you to wear simple robe dresses that are revealing and easy to access. When he wants to cuddle you, and with any physical intimacy, he enjoys the touch of your warm skin against his own. 

~When he is stressed, he likes you to lay down on your lap and nap while you play with his hair. 

And Claude is a boobs man

[the-goddess-of-mischief-writing]

New York High Rise {1}

Chapter summary; During all your years as the most successful mob boss of New York, no-one have ever dared to seriously battle for the crown with you. Up until now. Steven Grant Rogers, son of the infamous mob boss Joseph Rogers, has suddenly chosen you as his rival. Who will be winning in the end?

Pairing: Steve x reader  

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Chapter 1/5

Word; 5.9k

Warnings; swearing is standard in my works, mentions of canon-type violence 

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

A/N: I actually started this series on a whim and all of a sudden ended up having four chapters. I really love it for some reason, maybe because it such a powerplay and I’m a hoe for that trope, especially when it’s a enemies to lovers story. Anyhow, enough of my rambling, I hope you guys enjoy this little mid week update! PSA: If you want to be tagged in the series, jus send me an ask!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Golden chains and champagne. Fancy watches and whiskey on the rocks. Whatever related to the word expensive you were associated with. Although, unlike many others in your business, you hadn't grown up in this world of luxury, nor had you inherited the empire you now were the boss of, enabling you to live the extravagance life you did. No, you were one of the few who'd worked their ass off to earn every last thing you owned.

By most, your efforts looked like a great business mind and some luck. How else could you've become a multi-millionaire on investing in stocks? But to others, those knowing the flipside of the coin, they knew your success in capitals was nothing but a cover for your stealthy work in the shadows. It was a dance, one with feline grace, that you'd performed to reach your position. A status meaning you were one of the most famous mob bosses in New York City.

When hearing mafia, most would think of the old Italian image of people smoking cigars in fedoras, with some moustache that looked similar to pencil lines on their upper lip. Those who owned cities and the whole country knew of it but could do nothing about it.

Perhaps some of these stereotypes suited the older godfathers of New York, who sat proudly on their pedestals and watched the world pass by. But you were different from them. You didn't just watch the world continue and progress by itself. You moved along with it.

You were the new generation.

Compared to the godfathers, who every last person in New York and the bordering states knew off, you had two faces. One you showed the public and one you ruled the underworld with. To society, you were spotless, a name associated with nothing but a sharp mind and benevolence to the public. But you were at the top in the underworld syndicate, the biggest of the biggest. Yet, you didn't rule with fear, simply that of uttermost respect and earned trust. In other words, your reputation or connections weren't bought. They were deserved.

Thus, compared to the older generations, your face could be recognised by a civilian or someone from the underworld, none thinking about calling the police or betraying your trust. You owned the city without it even knowing it.

It was from the way you'd reached this top in stunning silence, together with the grace you played everyone with, that you and your empire earned the alias felines. Like a tiger cub who grew into an adult, your empire was once the smallest but now the biggest. Like a lion, you evoke respect and awe no matter where you went. Like a cat no one cared about, you could cross the streets without an issue in public.

Some of the elders, at least those who were your allies, had expressed their concern of your brassiness. 'Why play cat and mouse with fate?' they often said. But you always answered the same 'I am the cat'. And it was true. Despite some of those opposed to your methods, or just you in general, took the chances they could at picking you off the map. No one ever succeeded. Solely for one reason.

Now, you deemed agreeing to one of your first ever business deals the best choice you ever made. Although it meant you financed some of the worlds leading underground tech corporation with quite some substantial coin, the panthers were nowadays always watching over you. They lingered in the shadows, disarming every try at putting a bullet through your skull.

Albeit not as famous as yourself or the organisation you ran, the Black Panther Operation the sibling pair T'Challa and Shuri operated was, in no shape or form, not impressive. They'd established themselves as the leading organisation, even if not known by half of the people in New York, in the tech area. Not only were they invaluable to the numerous politicians wanting them to work under the radar to get the upper hand on sovereign states, but they also were to you.

They hadn't only supplied you with their physical protection of their elite bodyguards, the Dora Milaje or in common-tongue known as the shadow panthers, but their tech as well. Although, compared to anyone who would've been in your position and chosen the weapons or impenetrable bodysuit that Shuri, ever the genius she was, had invented, you'd chosen one of the other assets. The cloud, the internet.

Hackers were the way forwards compared to warriors. They were the weapon of keeping you one step ahead of anyone by supplying you with the information needed to be able to hold someone's life in your hands.

It was only to look back at the countless occasions anyone tried to persuade you into a business deal you would do nothing but lose at. Thanks to Shuri having dug out the facts that could bring any of your rivals down in the dumps, you'd walked victorious away anyways.

You were certain any of the other godfathers would've killed someone for even thinking, no less trying, to propose a disreputable arrangement with them in the first place. Yet, you knew how much one ever could make a death look like a self-caused accident, that in the end, people would start to wonder why it happened to people of the same background, connected to one and the same empire. However, the former generations didn't really care about bad publicity anyway, so why would they care about lining the street with dead bodies? But the difference was you weren't them.

By all means, some would say your ways was far more torturous than a bullet between the eyes. You wouldn't agree or disagree, only say it was just. Involving a legal and judicial battle was the new way of handling conflicts, after all. It was more efficient than having to wash the blood of your name all the time, according to you. Not only that, you gained a lot more than just a dead body.

You were in somewhat of partnership with most bosses around the city. Those you weren't, rather those you'd only settled a deal with that said "as long as you kept to each of your own territory nothing would happen", did try to bend the rules and use the terror tacit. Either they targeted you personally or something equally as important in your part of the city. It could be anything that would get to you, really. But, no matter what they did, they tried to not do it themselves. Instead, hire a hitman or someone equally as bad. The problem with this was that these people's records were far from innocent, something you used to your advantage.

If you tasked Shuri to find anything and everything these people had done, it was easy to find a person they'd wronged and who sought revenge or justification. The only thing you did was play your hand well, usually meaning you pulled some strings and supply the money. While T'Challa, as the expert he was on it, handed out the information his sister had gathered to reliable sources. Your collaboration made the person you hunted sit opposite someone from their past in a courtroom. Most of the times, they also lost the case.

Choosing to do this rather than go rampage and fire your gun aimlessly meant you settled as a second, or sometimes even third or four-hand source to what went down. So not only did your name remain clear despite answering a rivals offence, your involvement was nearly impossible to track as well. Thus, you could take down five of a rivals' men while they only took one of yours.

Despite one could call you out on hypocrisy, saying that the shadow panthers protecting you didn't own the same benevolence and were quick and silent in their killing, there was one reason you didn't care about the fact. Currently, they may be under a shared command, but their never-ending allegiance was always towards the founders of the Black Panther Operation. If either Shuri or T'Challa said stand back or decided to cut their deal with you, the shadow panther's protection would disappear. The same went if you chose to rip the contract.

However, it was a slim chance that either of the siblings or you would terminate your arrangement. Seeing how now, years later, you still were the sole person working a continuous agreement with them. That was why nowadays, your and theirs organisations were nearly associated as the same by most in the underworld.

Your style of ruling New York and living such different lives in the light and dark made others in your profession joke you were the sole one with an ordinary life. That you were no traditional mafia, simply a highly functioning business-orientated company that invested in stocks. However, both you and everyone around you knew that wasn't true. The reason? You weren't afraid to use every last of your assets to remain in control of your empire. Whatever it took.

And that was a promise someone the last months had put up to the test.

You don't know what set it off, perhaps the old saying of cats and dogs never working well together. Or that because you were at the top drew enough confidence out of someone to try and knock you down. For whatever reason, someone decided to start a ruckus with you.

It had begun small enough you had no idea that someone was behind it. Connections or deals with companies connected to your empire backing out of contracts in the last seconds, saying they got a better offer. The word secrecy, frequently used for ones own safety in the world you lived in, was a term you'd heard enough times by now to grow tired of. It was no significant agreements, seeing how you were well enough to not care about money, but it was plenty bothersome for your pride.

The next step in the escalation had been dealings slightly more important than a question of money, which was your territory and thereby also safety. You still had some meetings with a few godfathers, had fore some time actually. It was mostly those who once had opposed you in the days you weren't a threat or those who just tried to live secludedly enough that they died by natural causes rather than in a cell or from rivalry.

Each of those conferences had been about securing your grip on Manhattan. Primarily to obtain some neighbourhoods closest to Harlem Park and the northern part of the Inwood neighbourhood. Both of which currently was in some sort of grey zone. Meaning neither owned by them nor you. Although those areas were still not written as yours, concerning how those old bosses abruptly didn't seem to want to seal any deals that they weeks ago had agreed on.

Then you'd entered the third stage. The one that made you understand all these cancellations wasn't merely coincidence, but somebody working against you. People from both your closest crew and the Black Panther section had been disappearing. It wasn't uncommon. Your business was nothing but personal feelings and wants most of the times. However, concerning how few men and women you'd lost under your watch, this sudden increase was off-putting.

Closer to the truth was something like this had never happened to this extent before. You hadn't had people close to you or anyone associated with you abducted. However, the worst thing was that the bodies of those disappearing were never not found bloody or in a morgue.

Money or failing to persuade old godfathers wasn't something you took personal, but when people started dropping like flies around you, that you took personally. Hence, you, Shuri and T'Challa worked endlessly on finding who was behind it.

Almost every time, you found the culprit of the act, but not the big boss behind it all. Disabling you from taking more than one person out of play. That your jaw hadn't broken for how much you'd clenched it in frustration, or your teeth shattered from the amount you gritted them was a mystery. You hunted the person ordering these things, yet with no success.

Although one day, when one of the subordinates in your very own team had been missing for a week returned, barely clinging to their consciousness, you'd gotten to know who this new rival of yours was.

Steven Grant Rogers.

The canines, an alias for the Rogers family, were equally known as any of the old US President in the underworld in New York. If one hadn't heard of them in your profession, it was more likely that you already were dead or not in it all because they were notorious.

They'd ruled Brooklyn with an iron fist and was probably the crown specimen of the reputation that accompanied the word mafia. There was a grace in their affairs and killing. But compared to your work, which was performed in shadows and silence, they flaunted it, not scared of running from the police because they already knew they never would be caught.

From what you knew, they'd fallen off somewhat after Joseph Rogers, the head of the Canine Empire, died in one of the rivalries between mobs. His death had been years before you were even born, close to an age it was as high of a chance he could've passed from natural causes. Still, the commotion and continuous dispute following his disappearance and the unclear leadership had served as a fall for the Canine Empire. There was no doubt your rise to the same amount of power as the former union possessed would've been as easy if you'd had them as your opponents.

However, now, it seemed like the past would haunt you down in the form of Joseph Rogers son.

Albeit you never met the new boss of the Canines, there was no doubt you considered, for the first time, to personally put a bullet through someone's head. Steven Grant Rogers was as ruthless as stories told his father had been. He'd even been labelled the golden boy of Brooklyn, rumoured to restore the brutal power of the Canine Empire. Yet, the spot he was reaching for with old alliances regrouping to boost him to the top was a position you currently occupied.

This is where the difference between if you'd had a regular business organisation and the domain you now did, settled in. You went on total offense.

You contacted T'Challa and Shuri, calling them in for a meeting. Even though the pair knew of what had happened so far, they were your partners and thus, you would discuss the actions you would take with them, even if your deal said nothing of that sort. But you knew, compared to your rival, it seemed, how important it was to hold onto your closest allies with other methods than fear and the threat of death. And thus, you also received the help of a friend rather than a business partner.

It must've been the bloodiest month in the last decade from the rivalry that blossomed up between the Felines and Canines the second you started to answer the new top dog's advances. You got reports that the shadow panthers watching your back had cleared more people putting you up as a target than in a long time. As well, did more of the people under your name end up red in back allies.

Then it shifted. As soon as you started getting trails of more people than just the executioners, you were suddenly able to take out divisions of his minions. And while the killing went on, you started winning the big battles. In other words, while Steven continued to play it hard, you started to play smart.

You cut off deals he could do in Brooklyn, much harsher and unforgiving than his initials ones on your side of the East River. It was everything from supplies, to money, to the extra set of eyes. Everything to limit him to sources you knew he wouldn't be happy with having to resort to. While handling this, with the help from Shuri, you also broadened your search to find every little dirty-worker under the mob boss's command. Thanks to those now operating for you on the Brooklyn side, you helped people who'd had a past with Steven's men tip police of and capture them.

Pawn by pawn, you lessened the number of ways the Canine boss could run in taking down your empire. You had him cornered, already several moves ahead of him whatever he chose to do. Only, it was one step you thought he never would do that, in the end, made everything come to a skidding halt.

He'd requested a parley.

"Y'know I don't really like the idea of you meeting him", you didn't look up from the papers you currently were reading to look at Shuri where she lounged on your office's couch.

Though it felt like you should examine the folder that rested in your handbag     -the one containing the event plans for the charity event you would host for the many high society individuals and governors, or anyone with money really, in two weeks- those documents weren't the ones you were looking through now.

It was five days ago since Steven had asked for the parlay. Ever since then, you'd worked on the deal you would offer him. You had no desire to sign whatever he would hand to you. And you knew he would propose something. The Canine boss was the challenger, after all. Even more so, the one requesting a meeting from the start. Thus, he, for one, would offer something to cease your continuous confrontations and two, he would try to drag you down while elevating himself. That you couldn't have.

"I know", you finally responded when having read the side you were on in the contract you had put together for your rival. "Still, I want to hear what the man has to say so I can stop losing resources, time and people", you turned to the next page as you said this.

There came no response immediately despite that you felt Shuri was looking at you. You'd gotten good at noticing this, someone observing you. Hence, even though the best of the panthers always were safeguarding you somewhere in the crowds, it never hurt to not solely depend on others for your own safety. Because that was what your constantly high attentiveness was for anyways. To always be keen on your surroundings and try to detect someone's move before they did it.

"It's almost interesting to see someone challenge you for the position of being the big boss, Lekati", it wasn't only at the reserved nickname Shuri used that caught your attention. The rest of what she'd said also made you pause mid-turn of the last page, eyes automatically shifting to her.

Now, instead of sprawling across the piece of furniture the women occupied, she sat upright with a smile ghosting her lips. Your eyes narrowed as you noted this.

"Oh, stop imagining using your sharp claws on me".

"I wasn't".

"You're a bad liar when you want to be", the tech mogul pointed out with a finger directed towards you. Your features stayed indifferent despite the fact that her remark had been correct.

"When will your brother be back?" The dark-haired women cocked a brow at your sudden change of topic.

"Any minute, I suppose, why?"

"He's more pleasant to have around while I try to work, less chatty", an incredulous snort left Shuri as she crossed her arms, leaning back against the couch's backside. Her reaction made your stoic facade drop somewhat, causing the side of your mouth to tug upwards. It was an act she caught and couldn't help but shake her head at.

"I never get tired of not knowing whether you're about to send half of the city after me or simply are in a playing mood", your repressed smile bloomed into a fully-fledged one, amused by Shuri's comment.

"Opt for the latter for as long as those couple of hundred thousand dollars are rolling into your account". Averting your eyes from the women you were speaking to, you once again inspected the bunch of papers before you. 

Having worked on them for days and ever since this morning re-reading the contract, you knew it was worded to perfection. There were no loopholes nor any unnecessary losses for either part. So, for as long as Steven didn't belong to the old saying of 'it’s hard to learn an old dog to sit', you knew his signature would decorate the last page. 

"However, you should worry about the day when the money is missing", you hummed while stacking the papers orderly, putting them back into the same folder they'd been stored since you'd gotten the paper copies of the transcript.

"Would that be my sign to start running?" You looked up again, instantly meeting Shuri's humoured look.

"It would probably be too late", you shrugged nonchalantly, placing the folder you would have to the meeting in your handbag in a swift motion while swivelling your chair to face her, rather than your desk as you'd done previously. As a chuckle was heard from the dark-haired woman, you crossed one leg over the other and leaned back in your seat.

"It's good that I'm your ally and not your foe".

"Good to hear you view yourself as a friend. Was fearing you would switch sides to my challenger's", you mused, arms coming to prop up against your armrest to support your head when you tilted it.

"I never would, even if I knew he had a chance to win", even though feeling somewhat relieved - because this world and one's alliances could change fast, no matter current contracts or friendships- when Shuri said this, you wouldn't show it. Therefore, instead of smiling at her belief that Steven had no chance of beating you at a game you had been the best player at for years, you simply kept observing the woman as she stood from the couch.

The young tech mogul started to make her way closer to you, a slight sheerness in her step that impersonated the glint in her eye. And you understood why for when she opened her mouth to speak.

"But you can't deny it's interesting someone is seriously trying to take you down", you rolled your eyes while you let your hand fall to tap against your thigh.

"Seems like you're more excited about it than me", you started, spinning your chair slowly to follow Shuri as she settled partly on the empty edge of your desk. She looked expectantly at you, waiting for an answer despite your deflection of it initially. For once, purely because of the topic, you complied. "But no, I definitely do not find it interesting", you sighed out.

"Oh, come on, Lekati...".

"Stop with the nickname", you cut her off with a roll of your eyes. However, instead of earning the quick nod of confirmation to follow your exasperated order, the dark-haired women grinned. Perhaps if it was anyone else than Shuri, you would've been irritated and sent them out of your office, but concerning you viewed her more as a friend than a simple job partner, you did neither when her teasing continued.

"Has the dog really gotten that much under your skin?" She chuckled. "Must be the first one... ever. Or correct me if I'm wrong?" You simply dropped your head and shook it. The young women were right and she knew she was. Steven was the sole one able to make you nearly lose your footing ever since claiming the crown of the underworld.

"Why couldn't he just stay put?" You mumbled under your breath, thumb smoothing out the wrinkles having settled between your brows. "We'd never heard of him before. Why decide to make himself known now all of a sudden? After years of silence?"

"Some men seek the satisfaction of bringing entities down, especially if they ruled it before and now it's overtaken by a woman", you looked up at Shuri. But instead of meeting her gaze, your eyes fell to the piece of paper she held up. Evidently, she'd plucked your Cartier pen and a sticky note from the stack always resting on your desk and written three letters on the piece of paper while you spoke. You, it stood on it.

"Thank you for the flattery", you replied, reaching forward to snatch the note from her. "But I would've prefered if Rogers hadn't, would spare me the task of crushing his ego", the brown-eyed women chuckled at that.

"Maybe he needs to take yours down a step or two too", you stood from your chair as she said this, dropping the slightly crumpled note you'd taken from her into the bin under your desk, then starting to head towards the mirror you had in your office.

"I don't have an ego. I simply know my self-worth".

"Sounds a lot like you're bordering on narcissism", she said in a sing-song voice. "Maybe you and his pride can go on a date. I bet they would rule New York happily ever after", you couldn't suppress a chuckle at Shuri's words, whether you wanted to show how absolutely hilariously unbelievable it was or not.

"Can't your brother come and save me from your antics?" You muttered, spotting the smile the genius behind you sported in the mirror. It was meant for her to hear, so you weren't shocked when she responded to the banter.

"I actually prefer his absence. The two of you together nearly drown me in the seriousness", Shuri complained dramatically. You amusedly rolled your eyes before settling to look at your chosen attire.

Compared to how far away you stood from tradition in the godfather's senses, it was one custom you fulfilled like the rest of them. You believed that the clothes made the man. And, for a meeting like the one you soon would go to, you didn't hesitate to strive for that effect.

You knew Steven was old fashioned. Everything he did cried it. So, of course, you would try to throw him off at every point you could. The skirt and dress were switched out for a suit, midnight black. It was a loose fit and probably matched the high-end fashion more than traditional meeting standards, but you didn't genuinely worry. You were here to show you are the new generation and wouldn't budge because you were the sole women in New York running a syndicate. Doing the best job at it as well.

However, if the man you would meet would frown upon women in a suit, the lace bodysuit, black as well, you wore instead of a dress shirt would probably give him a heart attack. It covered enough but were in no way domesticated and left the upper part of your chest bare. It was a great way to show off the two thin chains of gold decorating your neck.

For some reason, your eyes lingered on the golden metal shining from the light trickling into your office. You started to fiddle with the necklace then, concentrating on how they weren't cold but rather heated up from your body temperature.

You became lost in your own world, fingers splaying over the hollow in your throat to absentmindedly play with the chains there while you thought about the meeting that was rapidly coming closer.

The action, together with the far-away look you stared at your movement in the mirror, was something that caught Shuri's attention.

"Relax", instantly your eyes flickered up to watch her in the mirror's reflective surface as if snapped from a daze. She'd shifted, so she now sat on the front of your desk, head turned in your direction. "It'll go good".

"Wasn't it you who said that you didn't want me to meet him in the first place?" You began to challenge her words of reassurance, hand falling from your skin to instead hang by your side. Not until you'd turned and cocked your brow at her did you continue. "That must insinuate you don't think it will go good", she simply shrugged when you said this.

"I did say I don't like his sudden call for a conference and that you accepted it in the first place", she began, crossing her feet at the ankle and looking down at the movement momentarily before her gaze found yours once more. "But that doesn't mean I don't think it will go good. I know it will. You're good at your job", you smiled at that. You already knew that you worked great under pressure, or else you wouldn't be standing on top of the empire you ruled. Although, it was always comforting to hear it from someone else.

Fittingly, in the next second, a knock on your door echoed in the room, effectively putting an end to your previous conversation with the women perched on your desk.

"Enter", you called without hesitating, as soon as both your and Shuri's attention also turned to the entrance. The guard stationed outside of your room didn't need to inform you of who'd wanted to enter. You already knew it was T'Challa. And as the guard opened the heavy door to your office and held it open for whoever had requested it, indeed it was Shuri's brother stepping through the doorway.

You didn't more than slightly tip your head to acknowledge the guard's nod of respect your way before he closed the door. Primarily because you spotted the slate grey folder the older of the children of T'Chaka held. It was the call about the seemingly insignificant object being completed that had interrupted the earlier discussion you, Shuri and T'Challa had. Your assemblage hadn't been much more than some minor last discussions and to wait for the folder the man now walking through the room held. Thus the portfolio contained a report, the ultimate attempt of finding anything that could aid you in the meeting with Steven.

"Anything good?" You skipped the unnecessary greetings as you gestured to the portfolio in T'Challa's hand while walking closer to your desk, which also was where he was heading.

"Look for yourself", when he said this, the brown-eyed mad held out the folder for you to take. You did but didn't open it until you'd rounded the counter and sat down in your chair again.

You didn't know what you'd expected to meet you, but a photo and a single sheet of paper weren't it.

For a moment, you stared at the picture resting on top of the report underneath it. Presumably, it should've been a photo of Steven sitting in some club. Although it was blurry and had no great exposure, which made it impossible to tell much about his appearance. Still, you knew it was him or else the picture wouldn't be here. However, it did nothing to help you paint a picture of the man which name so far seemed to be faceless.

Putting the picture to the side, you quickly started to eye the document. You scanned it, finding it contained random facts citing what properties the Canine boss had invested in, even owned. Apparently, Steven managed several clubs, which would explain why his first suggestion of a meeting place had been just that. Other than that, he owned some other businesses that wasn't much to cheer for. All infected by alcohol and drugs by the looks and names. Classical.

"This all?" You finally questioned after turning the sheet over, finding the backside blank. When glancing up, you saw T'Challa nodding. You clenched your jaw and looked back down at the paper.

Ever since Steven had asked for an official meeting, between your eyes only, as his message had been clear to state, you'd requested for the siblings to find out whatever they could about him. You wanted the advantage you knew he couldn't get over you. Thus, what was publicly known of you wasn't anything to hide. And frankly, he was more than welcome to read the articles that had written things about you. Yet, every secret of yours, or anything you'd deemed unfitting for anyone to know, had been wiped. No one could ever find something about you that you didn't want on the internet. Though, it seemed you weren't the only one sitting on resources like that.

Albeit the "new mob boss" was discussed in several articles, Steven's name had no face in any of them. In general, there was no picture of him or much information to track him down by either. So, despite your best efforts, now it seemed you didn't have much more than your hunch to go on during the meeting.

"I do not think it's wise to meet him", T'Challa said, much like his sister had earlier. With a sigh, you leaned back in your chair, fingers releasing the paper you'd gripped to pinch the bridge of your nose instead.

"Neither of you wants me to meet him, do you?" At first, silence met you, which made you look up the sibling pair. They shared a glance before Shuri turned slightly to look at you and her brother crossed his arms.

"No", they said simultaneously, which made you huff.

"I may like it as little as you two, but it put a temporary pause to the conflict. And if he comes to accept my terms, maybe that will remain".

"And what if he doesn't?" T'Challa inquired, receiving a frown from his sister, while you simply tilted your head down to look at your watch. "What if he refuses to tuck tail?" He continued to push.

"He won't", you stated, rising up from your chair, handbag now in your grip. It was three minutes until your driver would be here, so you needed to start heading down to the spot he would pick you up in. Yet, you were stopped in your tracks by a hand gripping your upper arm lightly.

"But what if?"

"T'Challa!" Shuri hissed at the unrespectful way her brother insisted on having his questions answered. She'd shot up from where she up until now had remained seated but before she could drag the man staring down at you with insistent eyes away, your raised the hand of your free arm. It stopped the younger women's movement, merely making her watch you and T'Challa.

There was a reason the siblings were able to run their tech operation as smoothly as they did. They complemented each other. What one lacked, the other possessed. For example, Shuri may own the belief everything was possible, then naturally, her brother would be more cautious. As in this instance. Hence, you didn't take any great offence to the dark-haired man's action, despite that your aloof tone could imply such a thing.

"What if he doesn't accept my deal after having me listen to whatever godawful settlement he offers me? Then I've kept my promise on meeting him for the parley he requested and one, which in the end, unfortunately, didn't establish an accord. Henceforth, our war will continue", you said, instantly feeling how T'Challa's hand fell from holding you back. Yet, you didn't pursue your track to the pick up you already was late for. Not until you assured him of one last thing. 

"Let me remind you that he was the one that asked me for a meeting, not the other way around. He asked me for a temporary truce and a chance to negotiate. In the end, that shows who's the most desperate to settle an agreement, no matter the terms".

Translation:

Lekati = Kitten