#this is a long ass post

[skrs-cats]

I have reread sunrise (the first actual wc book I've ever owned) and it's been WILD reliving a few of my memories with all the made up stuff I've accumulated in brainrot over the three, now I have all these thoughts that I have to vomit out. Aka a REALLY LONG incomprehensible ramble post abt the ending book of po3. Mostly about lionblaze though. I'm sory

*IDK how many times I've mentioned this, but chapter 1 starting out w lion leaving the df for good and beating tigerstar in a fight ALWAYS makes me wonder how things would have been affected if he just straight up went for the killing blow. I've only ever read books 1-5 once, so I don't have the best memory, but I think it's interesting to note that tigerstar managed to actually injure him, and lion was scared that if he died here he'd be dead for real, and then lion was surprised to see the wound when he woke up. I'm just wondering if these facts were first introduced here or if I just have tunnel vision towards this book (which is also true)

*'lionblaze always knew there was something wrong between him and ashfur' no shit bitch 😩😩😩😩😩 and then there's lion wondering if cats suspect him as ashfurs killer, something to do about everyone realizing how they never got along. and NOW I'm thinking about lion ending his df dream w tigerstars blood on his paws, and how that might have made the READERS suspect HIM to be the killer (leafpool prolouge chapter contributing to this supicion seeing as lion is also her kit) Only to end as a red herring when Holly is revealed to be the girlie w mascara running down her face (u can't see it clearly but my point stands)

*interesting lines about ashfurs death that I think about regarding what a warrior means for the clan (nonverbatim):

-'Ashfur never mattered this much when he was alive'

-'Ashfur's murder now made the clan determined to make him into a hero.'

*lion is posited to be the brave one of the three, in regards to physical danger and such. I am taking this character trait and cranking it up to a million

*I forgot smoky and floss existed :( IDK if they're still alive in the latest arcs but I hope they're doing ok

*brambleclaw trying 2 be nice to his kids and tell them that they can confide in him bc clearly they're all hung up about something but being denied it is funny and sad to me personally. He didn't talk w Jay, just as leaf didn't talk much w lion in this book, but I think it's given an interesting ending when in the end, its officially revealed even squirrel didn't tell him of the truth, which ends their relationship for the most part. I really do wonder how well he could have taken this if he was in on the secret from the very start.

*outside of that they sure do like to crank up the dramatics and mention bramble / squirrel as their parents any chance they get so that the three can be Emo about it like. 'THEYRE NOT MY MOTHER/FATHER.' 'WHATEVER SKILLS WE HAVE DIDNT COME FROM YOU.' 'WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH? WE'RE NOT EVEN KIN!' last one is abt leafpool which is honestly a lot. I think.

* one of the saddest parts about this book was how lonely they made purdy 😭😭😭 this poor old man. I'm glad they brought him back to the clan. But also I think they just forgot about him bc for someone being so vocal in defending Sol, he was outright just not mentioned when it was revealed Sol 'escaped'

* more lines that I think about regarding clan cats (also nonverbatim)

- Clan cats' instinctive distrust of outsiders

- why do clan cats have to think they always know what's best?

* Sol. He's just there to me ig.

* I liked jingo. I hope she's doing ok even now

*criminal how this book barely has any sibling bonding w the three when that is my blood sweat and tears. Maybes that's why I got so obsessed w the three of them being happy together bc I was STARVED.

* honeyfern 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

* call it the thunderclan bias in me but I was sorta annoyed when the three other clans walked in and told them that they should get rid of Sol or else. But also thunderclans reaction to Sol seemingly having run away is like. Giving back stolen candy to pre schooler vibes. Or something. This makes no sense I'm sorry

*I think it's interesting that Jay and Holly manage to find out who their mother is thru their own way. With the former deducing it on his own (I actually enjoyed the detective esque work he did in doing it) and Holly straight up asking leafpool. So now I propose lion being informed someway or other thru SQUIRRELFLIGHT BC I WANT FOR HER TO TALK W ANY OF THEM AND THAT LION FIINDING OUT THRU HIS SIBS WAS SO BORING OKAY I WANT HIM TO HAVE A SHOCKING REVELATION TOO-

* ahem. Also can I mention Holly confronting leaf abt who their parents were and leaf thinking it was about ashfur is so unbelievably ????? KHADHD, I'm not saying it was bad. but MAN. Talk about awkward huh

* anyways. When they all find out that leaf is their mom and then squirrel and leaf are mentioned to have looked at the three in the same familiar expression they have always had; love. And that line hurt me as much as Holly refusing to acknowledge or listen to it and running away. Lion and Jay werent against listening to what their 'mothers' had to say, but they loved Holly more than to just let her go on her own

* I always blabber about how they should have tried to talk thru their issues but man. They tried multiple times. They tried so hard. I'm not gonna specify who but they tried.

* Holly and lion changing their view of Sol in opposite ways in the two instances they meet w him is interesting but also a bit confusing. The last time we get a pov of lion is when he helped Sol escape so we don't really get a clear idea of his own thoughts anymore w everything after. That's why I can't help but just think abt him I guess

* reading Hollyleaf spiral more and more into her grief and despair sure was something.

* out of the three, jayfeather was actually the calmest in this book. Which is saying something, I think. I'm now taking this and making it my mission to have all the three of them as short tempered grumpy schmucks.

there's a lot more to talk about for me regarding these three, but I think I've used up all the words in my brain. My last thought though, is that after going through All That as an ending, it was really funny to just have this as a preview of the next book.

Also a bonus picture of what this book looks like too, sorry if it hurts u but it's testament to me on how much I adored this thing when I was younger </3

[ceoofhelaegon]

I like Aemond but damn he was so inept like it's soo funny . He ends smooshing his brother with his Godzilla dragon, maiming his King and one of their few dragons. If he had killed Aegon or sunfyre , he would had cost the Greens the war.

Manages to LOSE THE FUCKING CAPITAL and if not for Larys smuggling out Aegon would had cost the Greens the war again.

Decides to genocide a entire noble House which was TEAM GREEN because they were related to the Velaryon boys, possibly getting Aegon poisoned down the line(Larys wanting revenge for the doom of his House is what makes sense about him killing Aegon)

Spending his time committing war crimes that will come back to bite his brother and his mother´s asses after Rhaenyra´s death.

Let Daeron and Criston die because.......reasons? Yeah but don't forget he study the blade and the philosophy lmaaooo he is so unserious

Nonnie, I honestly never thought of this way...Aemond messes up so badly during the war. But it's more the character or the contrived plot since GRRM wanted Daemon to die in the battle of gods eye? But you're right, he messed up way too much, can't take him seriously.

aemonds whitewashing makes me want to rip my hair out cause of them planning to erase daeron and probably give his arc to aemond and the absolute destruction of argon’s character… don’t get me started

Oh trust me, I've ranted about this way too much as well.

i hope aegon doesnt build aemond thst statue after how he treated him when he wanted to run away lmao

me seeing that happening because Ryan loves Aemond for some reason:

Of course they had to make Aemond involved somehow 🙄 as if these are not Aegon's children that Aegon will torture Blood and then get revenge for them later. At this point Aemond is Ryan's self-insert it's so ridiculous how he needs to involved him in every plot.

Ryan is literally self-inserting himself into Aemond so don't be surprised if he made the entire story about him

It makes A LOT of sense if that's what he's doing and explains so much of the writing choices. 💀

Don't be surprised if Ryan made b&c about Aemond (there is a reason why he made Aemond's intentional kill an accident) he will made rock's rest about Aemond as well, not mention that Aemond will become prince regent and Ryan will force Aemond in every scene even when there is no need to that, I like Aemond but let's be real other characters deserves to shine not just Aemond

Nonnie, you're making me a doomer ngl:

Greenis who think that Aemond of all people would be a good ruler are delusional. Only Jace and Daeron are capable of becoming good rulers

I mean, can we blame them? They believed what Ryan made Aemond say in ep. 9...the fucking CRINGE

I love how lazy Ryan and co were to the point they couldn't write anything for Aegon ii so they decided to copy the personality of Aegon iv (one of the most boring targaryen ever) and start pretending that they have created a complex and grey character who rapes maiden in the morning and watch wwe kids in the night, extremely unserious. If they wanted to copy the personality of a bad/tyrannical targ at least they should have picked someone interesting like Maegor or Visenya

WWE KIDS PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

But you're so right, Aegon IV is just so boring and copying his personality is so dumb...if the Blackfyre Rebellions ever get adapted how are they're gonna make Aegon IV?! A guy good who's misunderstood? So unserious.

Aemond's line was probably a lazy set up for the plot of Aemond becoming prince regent

We shouldn't be surprised, the writers have the subtlety of a bull in a china shop.

I love Aemond but there is no denying that he is extremely dark and he will get darker in future seasons, why can't his hardcore stans accept that and stop assaulting anyone who dislikes him or admits that he is a dark character? Like where is the fun liking wholesome uwu characters all the time? Aemond is interesting in this way and there is no fun in pretending that he something he is not (that he's some uwu kindhearted soul)

I think it comes from the fact that people don't want to like a dark character, they might think that somehow it reflects badly on them.

It doesn't btw!!!!!

should’ve had the baratheon girl tell aemond that luke cut his balls off instead of his eye which she humbled his ass ngl but that would make aemond seem like a crybaby for a statement like that and we can’t have mr. i should be king doing dumb shit like that

I'd love to see Maris (I think that it was her) being bitchy, I love bitchy characters!!!!!!

I honestly think it would make him look the impulsive character that he is.

aemond is a massive dick in the books idk why they portrayed him in such a positive light if anything that’s daeron and lord knows were never getting him at this point and aegon is an ass but nevertheless a smart one and a strong one with a decent relationship but no anyways i’ll shout it from the rooftops #justiceforphiaandtom

Same, Nonnie. I kinda liked him before the war, he was just the kind of friend that all of us have, and need sometimes, that says what everyone is thinking.

I NEED MY BABY DAERON. 🥲

Sorry to Ryan but Aemond talks,walks, and looks as an anime villain so it's really hard for me to take him seriously especially after his oopsie daisy in ep10 after he chased luke while laughing maniacally

I think it's something like: It doesn't matter if it was an accident it's done kind of thing BUT having him lose control of Vhagar made him look very goofy.

But yeah, he didn't need to laugh like an anime villain.

You are so right, Helaena is barely a character and if the rumors are true she will only be there to be a catalyst for Aemond arc.

Hopefully is not true, but I'm not hopeful at all, Nonnie.

Idc how unpopular this opinion is, but Helaena deserves much more than to be a mere plot device to give some development to Aemond, i don't want her to die early on and for her death to be the beginning of Aemond's man pain arc, it's the fault of the showrunners who whitewashed him too much and tried to merge Daeron's personality with him, if they want him to catch up with his book counterpart there are plenty of ways to do that WITHOUT sacrificing a female character for him. If they did that they have no right to claim they're progressive and feminists

I'll riot if they make Helaena's character about Aemond, THIS ISN'T ABOUT AEMOND!!!!!!!

But Nonnie, they're not feminists nor progressives...we need to realise that, they only say that to avoid criticism and it works.

I love how the mass genocider Aemond who enslaved a woman and most likely raped her is a feminist Marxist and his mommy's little criminal while Rhaenyra and Daenerys are mad queens who deserve to die horribly. We love when misogyny prevail <3

I mean, making excuses for disgusting men and hating teenage girls for being kids is VERY on brand for the ASOIAF fandom.

I love how in the book Aemond was the worst of all of his siblings, now the show is pretending that he is Jaeherys reborn again after they cut Daeron, made Aegon a mustache-twirling villain and never give Helaena any personality whatsoever

Every time I think about the butchering of helaegon and my baby Daeron:

the merging of characters was the dumbest thing ever like daeron and aemond? who was gonna burn bitterbridge ? aemond?? while he’s making stupid decisions in the riverlands ?? god where is daeron they refuse to announce his casting

WHERE THE FUCK IS DAERON, HBO?! WHERE?!

Imagine the incompetent showrunners Thinking that the lunatic mass murder who killed small children just because they have strong blood in them and enslaved a woman and possibly raped her as he has taken her as his *war prize* and who is a disgusting misogynistic as well would be a better grey&complex character than Aegon who took the crown only to protect his family and Daeron who was the most popular kindest son of Alicent lmao sheer stupidity

Nonnie, the Daeron is erasure was PERSONAL!!!!! I hate it here and HotD was a mistake.

It's so hilarious that every male character needs to be either get assassinated or get cut (applied to both teams) just to make Aemond shine.... (even Daemon get the worse interpretation of his character lmao) I wonder what this says about the quality of Aemond's character and the Showrunners's confidence in making him a "relatable" character. It's a curios decision especially when you consider what Aemond will do in the future

Makes you wonder how they'll handle his arc moving forward...maybe change it completely, he won't commit any war crimes 💀

The most unserious scene will be that Battle above God’s Eye scene and the leading up to it and knowing the two fan favorites go out at the same time and I know they are waiting until the damn series finale for that and are going to rush Rhaenyra’s death cause they hate Aegon or have Alicent poison Aegon cause she loves Rhaenyra so much or even sacrifice herself for Rhaenyra. They’ll probably have Aemond’s head be cut of cause it’s Daemon like where’s my stupid Aemond who literally was the second worst decision maker in the dance behind daemyra who deserve to be together at the number one spot.

The erasure of Aegon as a character is my villain origin story!!! Can't wait for the most unserious scene in TV history.

Fun fact: the majority (especially non book readers) hate Aemond, so obviously they're not shipping him with anyone and the majority of who want Helaemond to become canon are wanting that out of hatred for Alicent since Helaena's children being bastards will make Alicent super hypocrite. So they don't care about Helaena's "happiness" (yeah she will be happy with the brother who caused the death of her children and her ultimate suffering and death lmao) they only care about Rhaenyra being on the absolute right and Alicent being nothing but a raging misogynistic and a hypocrite so they don't care about any nuance

The amount of Tik Tok comments and creators wanting the kids to be Aemond's just make Alicent look dumb is huge, and as a helaegon is sad to see.

So according to GRRM logic aemond is bastardphobic but takes a bastard to bed and gets her pregnant? Not ONE person says this could be because of magic but out of true love like y’all saw Melisandre in season 2 with how strange she was at Harrenhal? I’d assume she would be more like her because Ryan needs the constant comparisons 💁‍♀️

Since Ryan is trying to be GoT 2.0, it wouldn't surprise me if we get Melisandre 2.0 in HotD.

Cant wait for the battle above Gods Eye to be so unserious while pregnant alys is right there 😭

It's going to be so fucking unserious, I laughed the first time I read a 50 year old man jumping from his dragon and killing his 20 year old nephew. 💀

Never forget Aemond is bastardphobic but sleeps with a bastard GRRM is so unserious 😭

Especially a bastard from the SAME FAMILY of the bastards he hates!!!!!

Of course only Aemond is going to get his Daenerys Targaryen moment in the Riverlands and not Daeron and what happened at Bitterbridge because the writers hate Daeron and instead gave every character trait to Aemond probably making him regret what happened in the Riverlands after he burns it instead of giving that humanizing moment to Aemond. The worst part is he probably would’ve been a fan favorite had the included him in the first season. This is all coming from an show!aemond girlie

It was probably the dumbest thing HotD has ever made, ngl.

Team black here, and I got to say I've seen your and your anons criticism about Ryan's favoritism and to be honest I agree but it's not just about how Aegon is written compared to how Aemond is written, it's also about how all the young characters are written compares to Aemond Jace,luke,baela and rhaena all have been vilified by Ryan for the sake of giving a poor me sob story for Aemond. Rhaena and Baela weren't in the fight in the book, and Jace and luke have been turned into bullies and not only that, Jace canonical talents and skills with the sword, being studious and worthy of being the next ruler (after rhaenyra) the maesters said something similar to Jace proved himself to be worthy of being the prince of the iron throne all of it have been taken away and given to Aemond in show. Jace and luke could care less about Aemond's stupid toast in the book and the fight was between Aegon and Jace because of Helaena. Ryan made them instead get angry because of Aemond's speech not to mention he made Jace who has been described as tall and strong just like Harwin to gets pushed down into the ground by Aemond whose greatest achievement as a fighter is killing some random 80yr man. Luke whose mother is a valeryian supremacist can't even speak valeryian properly while Aemond can lmaoo. Not to mention that Laena used to have a scene while she claims Vhaegar as a brave 12yr girl but Ryan cut that out because he wants Aemond's scene to be more impressive? Rhaena who grown up dragonless doesn't has any backstory and the show doesn't even focus on her pain while Aemond had given a fully made up bullying story? There is no mention of the impressive fact that helaena as 11/12 was able to claim one of the largest/oldest dragons of that time? There is nothing wrong for a writer to like a certain character but not to the point of literally stealing and destroying other characters just to make their fave the only likable character. And I wonder what trying to woobify a mass murder and a rapist whose greatest achievement is about killing innocents and children while destroying and subjecting female characters truly says about Ryan?

I've seen team black talking about the same thing before, making the son of Breakbones this weak and pathetic boy was certainly a choice.

I agree with you, we should've seen Laena and Helaena claiming their HUGE dragons at such a young age. I honestly think that it wouldn't make Aemond's scene less impactful, we would get way more attached to Vhagar and see that Laena was her own woman and worthy of the biggest dragon in the known world.

As I said before, the feminist angle is just to stop criticism of bad writing.

Something all Helaegon and Daemyra stans can agree on is Aemond fans are bloody wild! I post about shipping both them couples and somehow my inbox is filled with hate from Aemond supporters🤣 like bru, nobody is mentioning him

LMAO, Nonnie...I'll get so much hate asks after this...but you're so right lol.

what are the aemond stan’s crying about? he’s fictional ya’ll but seriously what do they complain about

Mainly about how Aemond isn't my favourite, because god forbid Aemond isn't my fave.

[possumkingluca]

dnd story time so.. the party I'm in was camping out on this island to avoid a giant fucking sea serpent swimming around while we figure out what we're gonna do about it, and while on final watch our druid saw a sahuagin peeking around the corner at us.. so they woke us up because gross fish person alert and also what the fuck are they supposed to about it. They might speak every language in the phb but the very specific ones??? They don't speak fish person. Also they only have a +1 in charisma and also are the bluntest mf alive they are NOT allowed to speak. now we are awake and very clearly see it trying to hide behind a rock and we start plotting how the hell we're gonna deal with it. I play an eloquence bard. I have universal speech. I wont be able to understand it because universal speech is a dumb feature BUT idk we can play charades or some shit. Draw in the sand maybe ???

fun little fact: i fucked up a conversation with someone really bad the prior session (i was eepy and couldn't think very well :((( ) and ended up buying a dried fish from them to escape. fighter: you could offer them that fish me: i could..... .....does that count as cannibalism??? DM: ...probably not So i walk up close enough to it so i can use universal speech and held out the dried fish me: would you like fish?

sahuagin: *very carefully walks up* and

ok. so the sahuagin goes back into the water for a minute and.. out comes, a lot of them. ten fish people. ten. me: ... *turns back to our druid* WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE FISH. druid: *starts frantically catching fish* so we start a like fish conveyor belt with our druid catching the fish, throwing it to our fighter, and our fighter tossing it to me to offer. eventually the fighter joins in fishing and luckily they both have a good survival skill so it goes pretty quickly. then out comes one that is a.. woman? maybe? i don't know fish person anatomy, why would i know fish person anatomy this is like the third/fourth time i've ever seen an ocean. and while she's fucking staring me down another one comes out who is much. much. bigger. we just mugged a young dragon (yeah this session started out with us mugging a dragon, happens all the time don't worry about it) and this fucker is the like same height as it. and he has four arms. (kackles is that you ???? (no it's not he's much shorter. and also a bug.)) me: ..do i need like two fish for each of his pair of arms????? priestess sahuagin: touches her finger to my head me: oh shit she gon blow my head off she did not. instead she cast tounges on me. great. because I WANT to have a conversation with these people. so they complement our fishing ability and big fuck asks us if we take commissions.

me: what the fuck do they mean commissions druid's player: say yes. me: ...yes. they want us to catch 50 pounds of fish.

They are offering payment though! Got a pearl necklace worth about 1000 gold.. some earrings worth i think about 500 gold idk i forgor and a big ass gold ship steering wheel worth who fucking knows what the hell ??? They claim they got these from 'the beast' which we assumed meant a ship Now back to the 50 pounds of fish issue. We do have a solution to this problem. Kill the sea serpent and take 50 pounds of meat from it. Solving two problems at once. We give these guys their fish, and we deal with the serpent. But because we are sometimes smart I ask about their opinion on the serpent so we don't like accidentally kill their friend or some shit cause that'd be certified not good

"We care not for the monster who protects the beast" ...sea serpents eat ships.... W A I T. TANAZIR?????

so. this campaign started as a Strixhaven campaign that we continued on after graduation. currently one of our many tasks on our quest to save the world (why are we here what are we doing none of us should be here besides the fighter) is to find where all the founder dragons are hiding. We've already found Shadrix Silverquill and we guessed that Tanazir Quandrix (women in S.T.E.M!!!!) was around here and during mine and the fighter's watches we saw her come out of this whirpool thing and talk to the sea serpent. these fuckers stole from one of the fucking founder dragons. how? how the hell do you accomplish that??

and also now we know that the serpent is friends with Tanazir so we can't kill it because that'd probably piss her off and uh let's not do that. (also we should probably return the treasure to her :((( our money :(((( don't you know robbing two young dragons of their entire hoard is simply not nearly enough money ??? (we are greedy and also lunatics)) anyway okay so not killing the serpent. and we are 100% gonna have to backstab our new fish friends :((( we end up deciding to send our fighter (who has a cloak of the manta ray) and our druid (can just.. become a fish) to go into deeper water to hopefully find some tuna, while me and our wizard (he's here too, just has been comatose cause his player wasn't here. gonna be a fun surprise for him next session.) stay here to make sure the sahuagin don't think we're scamming them or something. Also i can compensate for our wizard's zero in charisma, and while our fighter has a -1 in charisma he was a quandrix student so he'll probably be ok if they encounter the serpent maybe. the sahuagin asked how long it would take for us to get the fish (it would take maybe a week maybe longer) so with a not technically a lie (the DM let me use persuasion thank god because i can't get lower than a 21 in persuasion (silver tounge rizz)) i convinced them that'd it take about two weeks BUT if they provided us a harpoon (the fighter wanted one) it'd only take a week-ish Before our druid and fighter could escape the sahuagin start circling around them.. singing? some ritual's going on, mayhaps blessing their trip. maybe. and the fuckin priestess one comes up to me and starts having a conversation. Priestess Sahuagin: Are you of faith? Me: /i don't follow any gods i'm just an english major. welp the founder dragons are like almost gods so Shadrix can count sure why not/ ..yes Priestess Sahuagin: *asking me if i like the spell guiding bolt* (I forgot exactly what she said) Me: *considers the like 10 times i've ended a fight with a well timed crit using guiding bolt* yes. Priestess Sahuagin: *something about their shark god i don't remember i'm tired* druid's player: he's pretty neat Me: ...he's pretty neat. Priestess Sahuagin: He is pretty neat :) (help) anyway so I planned for our wizard and i to kinda hang out on the beach while we wait for the other two to return. the sahuagin had other plans. They ask if we have gills (no) They ask what we are

me: do they want an actual answer ??? DM: yeah me: ...im a lizardfolk ...*points at fighter* he's a dragonborn *points at druid* they're a tiefling (the sahuagin have no fucking clue what the hell (heh) a tiefling is and maybe that's for the best) and *points at wizard* he's a human. Sahuagin: *death staring our wizard* that explains why he's elf like. ??why does everyone have beef with elves?? let's just leave out the fact our druid has an elven husband. and be glad we didn't bring him with us on this trip. i mean he's not a sea elf but y'know anyway so the session ends with our wizard and i about to be kidnapped and dragged to the ocean where the sahuagin live (im pretty sure we were given potions of water breathing which is good cause i would prefer not drowning.) and the druid and fighter setting out to go get a shit ton of fish pray for our souls

@datfatnerd are you proud us

[methinmycoffee]

Clyde Donovan!

Now that I have your attention, Clyde Donovan. Let’s talk about him for a minute. I am a little bit afraid for the future of his character, mostly because of what happened to him in season 26.

But first: Clyde’s evolution

He started as, to put it lightly, just a fucking idiot. He continues to be really dumb, but he was so dumb back then. He has like one line in the movie, and it’s only one word, and it’s the infamous “5 times 2” line. “Twelve?” Fucking moron. I love him.

He sort of became a crybaby after that, which might have been annoying, except I think he pulls it off. Around the same time, he started to have (pardon my language) unexplainable rizz.

Anyway, he sort of sat in that silly, crybaby, idiot, ladies man, spot for a long time. His mom died, but that episode didn’t do anything for his development at all, so he was sort of just done developing. That’s fine, I think the spot they had him in was fine, he’s a great character and still has potential the way he is.

Enter: Season 26

It’s almost like the people behind South Park were unsatisfied with the characters whose names had been dragged through the mud before. They couldn’t live with just the blood of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Jimmy, To(l)k(i)en, Randy, Gerald and Garrison. They needed more, so they looked to Clyde.

His first appearance was okay, because he was just a moron again. Cupid Ye (S26 E1), where he was one of the first people to ask Kyle if he ran Hollywood.

In Deep Learning (S26 E4), he was the one who introduced Stan to ChatGPT. He dislikes Bebe, or at least how much she texts him. He’s a little bit bitter and old, because of how he resents his girlfriend. This is bad, but he still has some of the elements of Clyde that I love love love. I like how he’s still afraid of Bebe finding out, almost like he’s scared if her. Him trying to be smooth is also very funny. Still though, there’s elements of him that aren’t as awesome in that episode.

Then comes DikinBaus Hotdogs (S26 E5). He’s sort of an annoying, unambitious, Gen-Z stereotype. He only has a couple lines, but in the scene he’s in he’s just sitting on his phone, talking about how he doesn’t want to work and stuff. This is bad, because it marks a weird shift in Clyde that only took a couple episodes to happen. This also sort of marks another weird shift in the attitude of the show where they hate Gen-Z. I’m worried Clyde might sort of become a talking point for that, which sucks because he’s such a silly little guy.

Also he’s not a member of Gen-Z. He was either 8 in 1997, which would make him a Millennial, or he’s 10 in 2023, which would make him Gen Alpha. That honestly just makes the whole thing even stupider.

Final thoughts:

I’m nervous about him, and if they will turn him in to a main character for the show, sidelining one (or more) of the main four in the process, just to suck. It’s happened before, and it would really tarnish his “legacy”.

Anyway, Happy Mother’s Day!

[captainofthestrangestship]

Look I love emo McCoy who blows up his life because of the things that happen in STID or in Beyond as much as the next guy but what about an aos!McCoy who doesn’t do that and actually likes being on the Enterprise?

So the events of Beyond happen slightly differently so that both Jim and Spock both decide to leave the Enterprise, ie for this they have to be way more emotionally closed off than they actually are at the end of the movie. Meaning after they go through the hours of debriefing necessary after Beyond, Jim tells Spock that he’s accepted the role of vice admiral on Yorktown, saying he’ll recommend Spock for the Captaincy. Spock stands there for a second, like this is super awkward, I have decided that my presence is more requited on New Vulcan and I am continuing Ambassador Spock’s work.

They would stand there in an uncomfortable silence neither willing to talk through this and if its even a good idea or not and then they both nod at each other, “this was a great discussion, good luck on New Vulcan” “I wish your endeavour as Vice Admiral is fulfilling” and get the hell out of there.

At some point later Jim finally tells McCoy, he’s been putting it off since he knows Bones will try and talk him out of it and he really can’t handle that.

Bones of course tells him he’s being an idiot and what the hell do you think you’re going to do behind a desk. Jim just tells him its what he wants and that he’s doing what best for him. Bones doesn’t push too hard and just tells him some day he’s going to wake up and hate his life so much that he would be willling to steal a spaceship just to be captain again.

But then Bones sorta throws him for a loop, and tells Jim he’s going to miss him and the Enterprise won’t be the same without him. Not that he would ever admit it but Jim was sure that Bones would also leave the Enterprise if he left and maybe even take a position on the Yorktown, Cos like Bones hates space and Bones has sorta gone above and beyond for Jim. Jim really doesn’t know what to do about this. Since he’s emotionally closed off he does’t ask Bones to leave the Enterprise with him, so he just lets that idea go.

So McCoy stays as CMO because he’s already done the whole running away when things get tough thing and he actually loves being in space and exploring the great unknown, he just likes to complain. Also he can’t exactly hypo Jim and drag him back onto the Enterprise to be captain

Meaning Sulu becomes captain, Uhura is still chief communications officer, Chekov is the navigator,  Scotty obviously stays as CE, Carol comes back as science officer and some rando is the pilot. (dont know who the first officer would be either Uhura or Chekov or maybe a new person who’s older)

Over the next five years McCoy stays in touch with both Jim and Spock, basically trying to get both of them to realise they belong on the Enterprise but neither budge. 

The crew have fun wacky hijinks in space, while Jim and Spock both grow to hate the work they’re actually doing. Maybe Jim gets promoted to admiral which he some how hates even more. Spock realises he still is sorta out of place among Vulcans and has not actually married a good Vulcan girl and had children like he thought he was going to (how he survives pon farr is anyones guess) McCoy can see it on their faces when they talk but he’s stuck in the middle of deep space so theres nothing he can really do. (he also knows they have to come to this realisation themselves) However McCoy is having a great time, loving space, loving his job and doing the badass doctor thing. (I do think he tells them this hoping it will change their minds or maybe make them jealous or to be like what the hell guys I’m enjoying life, you guys should be happy too. This does not work)

Then finally the five year mission is over, Jim and Spock both go to Earth to see the triumphant return of the flagship. 

McCoy just looks at both of them for a few moments and asks if they’re ready to steal that spaceship yet (and to get their heads out of their asses)

[ja-lin]

Some thoughts so far in the last week before I release the prologue of my fanfic visual novel, Night of Sin.

The only part of this project I feel burned out on is the writing portion. I’ve had to go back and delete lines I went too overboard on. At the same time, I’ve had to go back to add in lines since I felt I was “telling” too much over “showing”. It feels like an awkward balancing game of narration, character monologue, and actual dialogue.

I know it doesn’t have to be perfect on the first pass and this project is for fun, but I guess I appreciate the characters a lot and how the original writers molded them to be who they are...I just want to make a good first impression for the characters.

I’ve watched my own playthrough of Yvette S1-4 over 50+ times already since the game shutdown. I’ve went back to re-watch Ranza, Onyx, and everyone else multiple times to search for small hints and clues of how to better write for those characters. I’ve watched my recordings from other series to see how the writers handled certain situations, like anger, confessions, fear, ect;

I just want to keep the style as close to Lovestruck writing style as I can, as a homage. 

I have showed some close friends the first pass of the prologue and they all said it was good and reminded them of the actual Lovestruck game, but since then I’ve gone back to add things and delete things. 

I think when creating projects, the most important part is getting your message out, getting your idea out, no matter if people like it or not. Your story is *your* story and if people aren’t happy with how it goes, they can go write their own fanfic. The same goes for art, comics, any form of creative medium.

If anyone is ever upset at my works, I always tell them...well if you pay me I can make something you want. Let me know your plans and what you want. Here’s my card, contact me whenever you’re ready. They never reply after that.

Writers, artists aren’t obligated to create things to perfectly cater to an audience. We do creative things for fun because we enjoy it. And, I am enjoying this solo project very much even though the writing and the shoe drawing part is driving me crazy, I’m enjoying it.

Anyways, thanks for reading this long post. And, thanks to everyone for supporting this small fanfic project of mine and leaving comments.

[cauli-flawa]

I just had a weird-ass moment of sorting out the Don’t Starve timeline

So I have decided to organize it to understand it better. 

This devolved into my own head canons so enjoy i guess?? 

I will warn you: This is a VERY long post. And it is NOT CONSISTENT. THIS BECAME A GIANT HEAD CANON POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. THIS WENT DOWNHILL QUICKLY.

NOTE: Throughout the entire timeline, I imagine Wagstaff randomly logging in and out of the Constant while Maxwell can’t stop him from doing whatever science fuckery he wants

Anyways.

0. All non-human characters who were never human before (Wormwood, Wortox, Wilbur, Wilba, and Wurt) currently live in the Constant.

1. Maxwell and Charlie arrive first and become the “King” and Night Monster of the Constant. 

1.5. Maxwell sends random people to the Constant. He does this throughout the timeline until his reign ends.

2. A young Wagstaff discovers the Constant by accidentally opening a portal to it, or finding some way to enter it. He does not actually enter the Constant physically, instead he uses a hologram to do research on it. Maxwell sees this guy logging on and off the Constant and ignores him for now.

3. WX 78′s angry breakdown forces Wagstaff to shove them into the Constant. They are the first survivor to physically enter it. 

3.5. Wagstaff continues researching the Constant. Maxwell is beginning to get annoyed with the fact that he cannot control him. This guy is like a fucking insect. 

4. An older Wagstaff delivers a specimen to Webber’s father (the specimen being a spider). Webber becomes, well, Webber, and eventually Maxwell sends him to the Constant. He is the first person to arrive through Maxwell. Currently, he and WX are the only (known) survivors currently alive in the Constant, not including Wagstaff who is zipping around doing whatever the fuck he wants.

5. Webber dies. WX does not meet him before this happens. 

6. Wes arrives in the Constant by accident. He gets caught by Maxwell and imprisoned. 

7. Woodlegs is sent to the Constant. 

8. Wilson is tricked by Maxwell and sent to the Constant. 

9. Wilson does the standard adventuring stuff.

10. The timeline of who arrives in the Constant continues in the order you unlock characters in. This order takes place over a long amount of time. That order being:

- Willow

- Wolfgang

- Wendy

- Wickerbottom

- Woodie

- Wigfrid

None of them ever meet each other until Charlie takes the throne. 

11. Woodlegs gets trapped inside his cage. Maxwell doesn’t state specifically that he did it, but knowing what he’s like, he probably did. I would assume that Woodleg was having too much fun hunting for treasure and having to deal with both him and that goddamn Wagstaff popping in and out of the Constant on a daily basis was too much for him. 

12. The Shipwrecked and Hamlet characters do arrive at the Constant, but the times in which they do are unknown (aka I am too lazy to check how much EXP is required for them).

- Walani

- Warly

- Wheeler

13. Wilson buries Webber’s skull, reviving him.

14. Wes is freed from the invisible damnation box.

15.Wilson finds Maxwell and takes his place on the Nightmare Throne. 

15.5. I am not sure when Shipwrecked and Hamlet take place on the timeline, but they do take place before Together. 

16. Charlie discovers Wilson on the Throne after quite a while (not as long as Maxwell’s reign, thank god). Wilson is freed from it quite forcefully, and Charlie becomes the new queen.

16.5. WAGSTAFF IS YOUR PROBLEM NOW BITCH HAVE FUN TRYING TO CONTROL HIM

17. Wilson meets Maxwell and the two agree to form a truce. 

WARNING: YOU ARE ENTERING SEVERE HEADCANON TERRITORY. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

18. The other characters catch glimpses of each other but never actually meet.

For example:

WX 78 has found everyone at least once but does not care about their well-being so they just let them go off and do whatever. No one has seen them, however. Currently their only goal is to find Wagstaff and beat the shit out of him (good luck with that lol).

Wagstaff has found everyone as well, but unlike WX, Wagstaff is very interested in finding out about the survivors and is trying to uncover everything he can.

Maxwell already knows everyone, but he has not found any of them and does not want to. He is actively trying to run away. 

19. Charlie stops putting people in the Constant. For now. 

20. Charlie gets bored of watching all these random ass people fuck around and wants to see some REAL drama. She decides to put some of the survivors into small groups to see what would happen via teleportation. The results? Well...

Maxwell and Wagstaff

Purely made to spite her ex. Maxwell not only dislikes Wagstaff (which should be pretty obvious) he is also AFRAID of him and what he could do to the Constant. They stay together for about 1 minute before Wagstaff decides to just log off again. From then on Maxwell makes sure to track down Wagstaff’s plans, to hopefully find his motives for all this. 

Wendy, Wolfgang, and Wickerbottom

This trio would have been dissolved VERY quickly if not for Wickerbottom’s quick thinking. Wolfgang is deathly afraid of Wendy and even though Wickerbottom keeps him in the group, he can’t help but shudder when he has to talk to her. This group is surprisingly good at surviving - Wolfgang protects them, Wendy has pretty good survival knowledge, and Wickerbottom keeps the group from acting stupid. 

Wigfrid and Webber

It goes just as well as you would expect it to. Wigfrid moves to kill Webber immediately after seeing him, thinking that he’s some sort of monstrous “beast” that needs to be slain. 

Wes and Woodie

The pair ever. 

21. Maxwell meets Wilson and the two decide to form a truce. They both hate eachother immensely. 

Charlie sees this and decides to bring Wendy, Wolfgang and Wickerbottom over. The more socialization Maxwell has to do with his former pawns the better. Wilson is so grateful to learn that he is not alone after all (Maxwell does not count). 

22. Wortox is corrupted. 

WX 78 is still being a little loner emo bitch.

22.5. I am not sure when Woby arrives in the Constant, but I will say that she is accidentally sent there around this part of the timeline.

23. Willow starts a MASSIVE forest fire, bringing all of the vanilla game characters (besides WX 78 and Wagstaff) to her location. They decide that if they can’t survive together, they’ll die alone, and they all team up to tackle the dangerous world they live in. Meanwhile Maxwell has some explaining to do to the others. 

23.5. Wormwood, Wurt, and Wortox form a little cryptid friend group but that’s unrelated. Yeah, they saw the giant fire. Yeah, Wormwood cried for a solid half hour. No, they didn’t go to check it out.

24. The Cryptids find WX 78 and try to help them, but they aggressively refuse, as a soulless automaton does.

25. WX finds the Survivors and declares themself their “ruler” and everyone else their “minions”. No one takes them seriously in the slightest, but at least they have a new member now.

26. An injured Wigfrid stumbles upon the Survivors group and is treated. She decides to join the group if they help her look for a mysterious “beast” that she has been hunting down. 

27. That “beast” is, you guessed it, Webber. When the Survivors realize that he does not mean any harm, he is welcomed into the group. 

28. Warly is found by the Survivors, who tracked him down because he happened to be cooking nearby. He happily joins the team. 

29. Winona is sent to the Constant after a disastrous accident involving Wagstaff’s portal. 

29.5. This time, Wagstaff is ACTUALLY sent to the Constant. No more running away old man.

29.75. No fucking way 

29. The Cryptids get separated by accident. They follow their separate paths. For now anyways.

Wurt finds her old swamp village and is reunited with her Merm companions.

Wormwood spends his days chilling with his plant friends, but longs to see his other friends again.

Wortox is kind of alone now, but he’s taken an interest to the humans that have found their way into the Constant.

30. Walter gets sent to the Constant and meets Woby. 

31. The Survivors stumble upon Wurt in the swamps, and out of curiosity she follows them back to their camp. She ends up joining the group after they let her stay with them.

32. Wanda’s time travel shenanigans send her to the Constant. 

33. Wormwood’s search for his friends brings him to the Survivors. WX recognizes him and tries to get the others to drive him out, but to no avail. Wurt sees him and welcomes him with open arms. 

34. Winona is found by the Survivors, who traced the noises of her machinery and were very impressed with what they saw. She agrees to team up with them, and they agree to help her find her boss (Wagstaff) and sister (Charlie), who are both trapped in the Constant. 

35. Walter is discovered by the younger members of the Survivors (and this kid is having a great time camping out in eeby deeby). Walter finds the group and decides to join after realizing just how bad everyone is at managing a proper fire. 

36. Wortox finally decides to show himself to the Survivors, reuniting the Cryptids and adding a new member to the team. However, no one fully trusts him. There is quite a lot that he’s hiding. 

37. A usage of the Backtrack Watch accidentally teleports Wanda to the Survivor’s camp. She joins them and uses her knowledge on time travel to help them figure out their next moves. 

38. Wagstaff finds the Lunar Islands and begins sketching out some big plans. Plans involving that sweet sweet moon juice

[great-and-small]

Do y’all wanna hear about some absolutely crazy shit going down in the birding world right now

[chongoblog]

[jenderenvy985]

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[ozlices]

another super insulting part of the watcher situation i haven't rly seen ppl addressing much

ryan deadass saying smth like "nobody else on youtube has made tv quality content"

like... i really feel like it's important to highlight that bc not only do they obviously have no respect for their audience, but that statement shows they have no respect for their peers in the industry, either.

not to mention it is a shining example of bleeding arrogance to such a high degree, you will straight up fucking lie bc you're truly convinced you're that special when you're anything but.

there's been NUMEROUS online creators who were recognized by entertainment industry workers BECAUSE they made tv quality content & even full stop blockbuster quality content.

bo burnham started on youtube & is now one of the most wellknown & loved standup comedians of our generation, with numerous netflix specials & even a movie he wrote & directed under his belt.

the try guys, fellow ex-buzzfeed employees, had their own tv specials on food network (based off their youtube shows, btw) & a documentary made about them as well

rosanna pansino has also been on numerous food network shows both as a host & a judge

quinta brunsun, another fellow ex-buzzfeed employee, went on to create her own whole ass sitcom that has been highly praised

matpat cameo'd in the fnaf movie because of his theories & multiple other fnaf creators had small cameos through the employee of the month board easter egg

markiplier made multiple high-quality shows on youtube & is now working on a highly anticipated movie (he was also planned to cameo in the fnaf movie but couldn't due to conflicting schedules with his own movie)

hot ones got their own tv gameshow due to their popularity & they are still one of the most wellknown, beloved & respected internet shows

many short films made on youtube went on to premiere at film festivals & even in theaters

the hit horror film "talk to me" was created by youtubers rackaracka

webseries of actual fucking tv shows have also existed for literal decades

the list goes on.

to seriously think that overproduced bullshit is all you need to make "tv quality content" is not only tone-deaf, but shows they do not even know what they're talking about. many tv shows & huge blockbuster movies are made with absolutely microscopic budgets & small teams, & they still get praised & awarded for the passion, dedication, & creativity that shined brightly under those restrictions.

the blair witch project is probably the most wellknown & highly praised example of this, but it is far from the Only example

it is a whole other slap in the face, again ESPECIALLY when puppet history is one of their most popular shows, to spit in the face of internet history. to see the success of their predecessors, even ppl they fucking worked with at buzzfeed, & deny them of all their success & efforts to get where they ended up.

no, y'all are not the first people to make "tv quality content" on the internet. FAR from it. because your crap isn't even genuine "tv quality".

but you are the first ones to ever disrespect not only your audience, but your own fucking industry & your peers on this level.

& you are the first & i sorely hope the only fuckwads dumb enough to pull a stunt this fucking stupid, out of touch & utterly tone deaf.

[oh-wow-its-wordgirl]

Friendship is pony….? My little magic!?

[manzanamarim]

Spy x’s your Family or whatever

Originals below the cut <3 I love them lots

[bigfatbreak]

I'm sitting very politely and asking if it would be possible to see Adrien akumatised by Viceroy. Even if you don't want to, letting you know I'm insane about all your AUs (and your art in general, alien behaviour Shadow was so cool), you do such amazing work and I am completely normal about it

(Caspases' concept art beloooow)

[bottomcyclonus]

My sister is a total cunt and around when we were kids, 12 (her) and 15 (me), she became a really big fan of that Jesus guy, but in a ‘if you wear lipstick that’s TOO red you’re clearly a whore who is doing naughty things with the devil’ and ‘all “dark” animals like black cats, snakes, rats, spiders, and bats were sent by the devil himself”. W e had an older home, and the way it was set up is that one of our vents had a chute that went over the porch, and you could look down it and see basically right over the porch itself. This is relevant because I, at the time, really wanted a cat and our parents were considering it. However, cheese cunt (my nickname for her which she hated <3) saw me looking at an adoption page for a black cat. She absolutely lost it and said that I was trying to bring the devil into our home and that I was going to hell and that that cat was evil and going to claw out my eyes in my sleep. We got in a BIG fight over that. By the time we moved out there were still puncture marks in the wall from where she went at me with a fork. Back to the porch and vent. Kind of. I _needed_ to get this bitch, so I recruited two of my good friends who I knew would be ready to commit a fuckery. One of them had a pet snake (which I think she found in her yard and abducted adopted) and she fed him frozen mice and whatnot. Obviously we weren’t going to involve her snake, but the frozen mice? Those were fair game. Her job was to bring the mice and help behind the scenes. My other friend, he’s a big guy, intimidating if you don’t know him, *his* job was to be the devil. We’d found a dead bat in my attic (again old house) and made it look alive with popsicle sticks, then tied it to a string wound through the vent. We planned the fuckery for when our parents were staying at a hotel for their anniversary, so we were home alone all weekend. We had a pizza box as bait outside, with the frozen mice inside arranged in a pentagram. My guy friend was dressed up in a stereotypical grim reaper outfit, big black cloak, white ghoulish face, lantern, the works. We waited around until night, then he rang the door bell and hid, with the pizza box left on the porch, just far out enough that you would have to step outside. Me and my friend were in the bathroom when then happened so that my sister would have to go look. In reality, she was waiting above, ready with the bat, and I was hiding behind the garage door, which was right next to our front door. The moment I hear my sister let go of the door I gently closed it and locked it on her. I heard her scream and the sound of her dropping the pizza box, which was my friends cue to drop the bat on her and dance it around. At this point she’s freaking out and trying to get back inside, screaming and shrieking. I turn off the porch light, and from the shadows across the street, emerges my friend, face dimly lit by the lantern in his hand. I had to muffle my laughter with my fist in my mouth cause my sister is yelling like she’s going to die, which yeah, I can see her thinking that. All my friend had to do was walk across the street and point at her to get her to start crying, and she bolted into our backyard, where she tried to get in through the back door that was unfortunately for her, locked, courtesy of me. We made her stay out there for an hour or so, giving us time to put everything back to normal and sober ourselves up from laughing so hard. Then I let her back in and acted like I didn’t know anything. We got the cat and I named him Pizza.

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