#this is a meme this is a joke and we don't drink things that could make our tummy go brrr >:(

[noodlefluid]

Rottmnt headcanons about the bois in a relationship

I somehow got really into "rottmnt x reader" and now I can't stop thinking about it, it's slowly consuming my whole life at this point/hj

Btw, english isn't my first language so if I make any grammar mistake let me know

S/O stand for "Significant other", I would be using singular they/them pronouns and third person

Tw: a few curses, besides that is just fluff and fluffy angst, probably OOC

Raphael

He loves being kiss and also knows how to convinced his S/O to giving him smoochies

His main love languages are act of service and quality time, he really likes when he's being helpful, but sometimes overdo it (this may or may have not been a trigger for a discussion)

He loves being little spoon, but he is concious of his size an that iss almost imposible, so most of the time he is the big spoon (if S/O is taller god save their soul cause their gonna have this big boi on top 24/7 /nsx)

Because of his body type and the spikes on his body he's really insecure and afraid of hurting his S/O, so even if he really need hugs, he contain himself as much as posible, he treat them as if they were made of glass

Has a "love stink"

He has a hard time telling his S/O about his weakness cause he wants to be their heroe, and the person they rely on the most

He breaks easily tho, his S/O ask if he's fine and you have a 6 foot turtle crying at their lap for at least an hour, telling how much he loves them and asking how such an amazing person is dating such a useless turtle like him, that he doesn't deserve them yada yada yada (we lub u Raphie, don't talk like that bout urself)

Loves when his S/O is spending time with his brothers, it make him feel like they're e part of his family already, sometimes refers to S/O as sibling-in-law, without noticing "Don't be disrespectful toward your sibling-in-law, Leo!, they could take your joke the wrong way" When he realized what he says his face basicaly match his bandana and hide for the next 2 hours because of the embarassment, Leo obviously tease him and start calling S/O sibling-in-law from that day on

Leo

A completely messy dumbass when it comes to his S/O, his brothers hates you (/pos) cause it's the only thing Leo is talking all day

Smile like an idiot when he sees a text of his S/O, and usually takes a few minutes for him to respond cause he just so excited, he's jumping and giggling to himself (Donnie says he's cringe, Leo says he's bitchless)

His main love language are memes, funny images go brr lmao. Absolutely would tag you on cat posts with an "us"

His second main Love language is words of affirmation, he really like the feeling of making someone feel good just by talking cause he know how it is to not have those words sometimes

Very flirtatious, chessy lines and a lot of dumb compliments, but oh man don't flirt back cause this boy's gonna melt and stop working for the next 5 minutes

He has a "S/O is amazing and this is why" time, when Leo tell everything that is perfect about his S/O, no one know what could trigger it so they're walking on eggshells everytime something slightly remind him of his S/O, he could be having breakfast and just start talking "Oh you're drinking coffee? My S/O love this brand of coffee. Hey have you tasted S/O coffee? They make the most tastiest and amazing ones in the word, and oh! the other they..." and this easily can go for hours until someone beg him to stop

He scroll over every single astrology post with his and his S/O signs in it, would send them to his S/O and talk about how perfect they are, if their sign isn't compatible with his, he would cry and then proceed to automaticaly say that astrology is the dumbest thing in the whole world

Donnie

Even if he usually hates being touchy, he would probably be the total opossite with his s/o, just in alone time tho, he would never let his brothers see him like that weak. This doesn't mean his S/O can touch him whenever he want but he is more recilliant to accept them

He doesn't know how to ask for affection, so he would just akwardly stand around his S/O until they notice him, and hopefully understand what he want

Lots of gifts, his main love language are gifts, it could be small, it could be something big, but gifts is a must for Donnie, even if some of them are a complete failure

His second most prominent love language is quality time, wich translate to "We are sharing a room", He and his S/O aren't even talking or touching, S/O maybe hasn't even notice Donnie's there, but they are spending quality time with eachother

Another way of saying "I love you" is talking about the proyect he's working on, or his last hiperfixation, telling fun facts about the think his S/O likes, you like cats? "Did you know that cats came from egypt? And did you know their purr can decrease anxiety levels" S/O likes Astronomy? "Fun fact: Nasa kinda 'email' tools to astronauts because of 3D printers, really useful don't ya think?" He likes to share their interests and know more about them

He's incredibly observant and attentive towards his S/O, he may struggle with emotions but can tell right away when his S/O isn't feeling good

He have a list of everything his S/O like in alphabetical orden and separated by categories

Most likely develop stims that involved touching his S/O, it could be just a little poke or maybe bite them, he often doesn't realize

Mikey

A lots of cuddles, he doesn't care if his brother are there or not, if his S/O is there he is gonna be glued to them giving them hugs and kisses until they have to go

He make a whole 'reasons why you shouldn't go and instead cuddle with me' presentation to his S/O everytime they have to go

Surprise hugs, their first mistake was being distract, the hug monster Mikey is in a hunt

His love language is physical touch, it doesn't matter if it's a hug or playing with their hair, he has to touch their S/O in someway

If S/O doesn't like being touch, he would always ask for permission everytime he want a hug or just lay in them and try to chill a little by hugging a pillow instead or maybe one of his brothers if they are near

His second love language are gifts, specially drawings, he like to draw his S/O in that amazing outfit they wore the other day, or maybe a little scene of his last date with S/O, then he give it to them

He also loves cooking for his S/O, he thinks that the kitchen is a place where you put all your heart and love for your loved ones. He feel the most happy when he has the opportunity to cook with his S/O

He sometimes goes crazy with the compliments, his S/O can be doing the bare minimun and Mikey would start to shower them in compliment about how amazing they are and how talented they are in the thing they are doing (even if it's just...breath), he sometimes gets his brothers involve "Raph, RAPH! Don't you think S/O is the most amazing person in the word? Look at them, they're so pretty and awesome and and..." Raph was forced to give every compliment he could think of to Mikey's S/O for the next 10 minutes

Usually makes something special every ocassion he's giving, my boy is making made up holydays as an excuse to hang put with his S/O, they now have to celebrate "gravity invention day", it exist now

Go and drink some water bitch, you have being scrolling for way to long

[andraxicated]

screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

Pairings: gojo, toji, nanami, geto x f! reader

Synopsis: kissing and fighting scenarios with jjk men in various settings

Tags: kiss under the influence | fluff | suggestive | age gap | long ass hurt-comfort mini fics | mentions of sex

a/n: all i see is jjk filth hmmm *insert dwayne johnson eyebrow meme*

obvsly aged up characters

milestone event masterlist

kissing in the bathtub with gojo

the sea of blinking gold looks rather incredible while soaking in the bathtub of your friend's penthouse, but nothing can beat the taste and smoothness of the wine gliding inside your tongue. how many glasses have you had? you don't know, all you could think about was how good this wine was as you treat it like water.

"wow, is drinking so much better than talking to me?" the reverie shatters as that white-haired blue eyed non-drinker giant opens his annoying mouth. your eyes open elegantly, still in the ridiculous drunken impression of being a high-class lady. perhaps this was your subconscious wanting to fit in with satoru's world, the lady that his family would want. as they say, your true self reveals when you're drunk and uncaring of the world; the liquid courage.

"satoru!" gojo winces at your echoing voice bouncing off the walls in his luxury bathroom. "what??!" he replies with an equally loud voice that scrunches your face cutely. but the smile on his face doesn't last long as your next words shocked him to the core.

"when are we going to put a label on us?"

you say boldly while staring right into his soul, and the next moment the wine on your glass splashes on satoru's face. you stand up abruptly from the bathtub, then flashing gojo with your lower half that he hasn't recovered from the whiplash of shocking events. you get the bathrobe without explanation and wrap it around yourself because everything is slowly sinking in.

suddenly, you hear the sound of a person rising from the tub, and the next thing you know, the bathrobe is peeled off you and you're being carried by your bestfriend. gojo sets you back down on the bathtub, gets the bidet, and shoots it like a gun to your face.

you screech like a cat, grab the bidet from his hand and knock it against his head that this time it's satoru who screeches from the pain. "owwww!" "don't waste water!" you scream at him that he immediately looks up at your ridiculous reasoning.

frustration resonates within his body that he can't hold himself back anymore, his blue eyes make you feel the cold air hitting your wet skin. one audible gulp then your fingers turn off the faucet of the bidet, nervously not breaking eye contact with satoru.

"don't joke around like that" the bathroom falls silent with his low voice that you turn meek like a lamb. "i'm not joking" you say in small font. satoru only gets scary when he's angry, he's someone you don't want to anger. yet to him, it's like you're purposely angering him and toying with his feelings; and so, he won't hold back anymore.

'just this night, let me fucking taste wine and your lips'

he gently grabs your nape and pushes your lips to his own, the faint bittersweet wine enters satoru's tongue and he finally understands why people drown in alcohol. because it's addicting. just like kissing the one you long for.

you close your eyes and wrap your arms around his neck while his hand rests on your waist and squeezes the flesh. you moan from the stimulation and pull away from him, but he doesn't allow it as he pushes his head further to catch your lips with his mouth.

both of you made a promise that night to remind if the other forgot. but how would one forget such a moment so special?

kissing in the snow with toji

countless excuses to party with your friends yet you slip out the door and make it your cover story. you're actually meeting toji, the guy who's years older than you, and your constant fuck around these months. you met toji at a grocery store where he was trying to sweet-talk the cashier into letting go of his insufficient payment. it ended up in you intervening and paying for him, a car ride to the motel, fallen groceries on the floor, and him pounding you against the wall as a payment to his debt. because hey, he seemed like a good fuck.

that was a few months ago, now you're downing one last drink before exiting the premises to meet toji at the back. a puff of smoke mixing with the cold air from the familiar alleyway and you know it's him. your heart rate gets faster and a happy kind of feeling wraps you as you start picking up your pace. "found you!" your youthful voice booms to surprise toji, his mature and unsurprised demeanor a stark contrast to yours.

"you found me" his husky voice sends shivers down your spine, a charm that could get any woman he wants. but he's here, toji is here grinning and throwing away his cig, feet stomping the stick while holding your head between his palms for a kiss.

one hand leaves your face and lightly traces the side of your breast, going down to unzipping your jacket, lifting your shirt below, and caressing your tummy. you don't even get to moan because toji swallows whatever noise you're making, his amazing kissing skills a stimulant between your legs. but the chilly wind bites at your tummy and you make him put it down. you pull away and reveal a string of saliva that toji reconnects with a light peck; did his eyes seem soft or was that just the lighting? anyway—"toji, I'm getting cold" you whine with a scrunched face as toji looks up to the sky and chuckles.

"yeah, because it's the first snow" then it made you whip your head so quickly to watch the unique little snowflakes floating in the air; a sight that always made you feel happy as a child. toji looks back down on your awe-stricken figure, he thinks it's ridiculous because it's just snow but whatever makes you happy is fine with him.

"they say you get to be together with the one you watch the first snowfall with" you say out of the blue that it snaps him out of admiring you. "bullshit" he says without thinking that you widen your eyes and turn back to him. toji kinda felt bad but it's really how he feels.

"what if it's true?" and yet you always retort his ideas, he admires you for that. "it's not"—is this how older people think? he can indulge you for a moment but he chose to shut you down that it leaves a hole in your heart. efforts to level up your relationship always go down the drain; at this point, your patience is thinning.

"i understand, im going back inside since it's getting cold." you don't want to ruin a good scenery like this with him, so you opt to go back inside the club. he was already facing your back when he suddenly spoke up: "i'm not good with words" three steps closer. "i don't know how proper relationships work" two steps closer. "and i can't give you what you want, so i'm sorry" one step closer, and that was the tipping point in which you turn around in such close proximity.

"you can give me that, you just won't let yourself" you say in a strong voice, slapping the truth in his face. toji looks stressed as he passes a hand on his face, a mannerism that you're frustrated with someone; it hurts but what else do you expect from this fucked up relationship.

"you attend a nice university, you have supportive parents, you have everything I didn't have when I was young. are you seriously going to throw all that for a bummer like me?" toji puts his hand in his pocket, searching for his cig and his ligther.

"i don't-" "yeah drown in poverty with me, i don't even have a stable job." silence ensues as he finally found the pair in his messy pockets, nonchalant expression taking a peek at your dropping face; it pains him to know your dealbreaker but that's just how the world works. he has lived enough on how to deal with things like this.

you're bright and full of youth, a bright future ahead of you. toji thinks he should've ran away with his groceries when he found out his money was short, life would not be complicated then.

"you said i have a bright future..." your fiery attitude never fails to surprise him; toji drops the cig he takes out and looks at you dumbfounded, heart abnormally skipping a beat. "we can share that future!" your naivety is amazing that it leaves him at a loss for words and gasping for air. "kid, are you serious?!"

he knows you hate that name that he uses it to snap out whatever fantasy you're having, but toji should know you're being serious about this. "don't call me kid" this man really—god, you hate him when he's treating you like this.

you start to walk away but his big figure suddenly comes into view. "i asked you if you're serious" "i'm dead serious" annoying snowflakes keep on blocking his view the same way his heart blocks his mind. "then don't go running away when I want to keep you" toji goes for your lips and enters his tongue without asking; soft lips providing warmth for the snowfall as he keeps on devouring your mouth, not wanting to let you go.

white light snowflakes decorate the surrounding as he pushes you against the brick wall, burying his face onto your neck as you two stand there in the blissful warmth of each other's arms.

kissing in the rain with nanami

"(y/n), where are you going?"

you don't answer him as this stupid employee of yours runs after you when you clearly need space. should you fire him? no, wait he's about to leave the company in a few months! plus, he's already training a new guy to become his replacement, all of this done without your knowledge as his superior and his girlfriend.

"go back inside" a curt command falls from your mouth, one that nanami ignores because he knows you don't mean it. you want to be chased and doted on, and he's so used to your dramatics that he quite enjoys chasing after you too.

"love, stop there. your headache is going to worsen if you keep frowning and running away from me." sweet words slip casually through nanami's lips that it lulls you to calm down. he catches up to you and turns you around to see your contorted face about to cry from the frustrations of work and life.

he sighs while looking up at your head, tucking one strand of hair behind your ear and purposely grazing your skin with his fingers; a gesture that made your insides shiver whilst tightly clutching your handbag.

nanami's hand passes over your head like a soothing trick that eased the headache, it was his usual act when he feels your stress signals; later on to be revealed that he was a sorcerer of some kind to which you blurt out laughing. turns out it was true the more he takes away the heaviness on your head.

then his hand rests on the back of your head as he pushes you gently onto his chest. the onslaught of your favorite men's perfume attacks you when you fall into his embrace, it was the first thing you gave him when you two started dating; until now he kept spraying it but secretly buys the refills himself.

you bit your lip to keep yourself from smiling because you were supposed to be angry remember? yet, the thrill and comfort of knowing the company dinner is just a building away; with the ceo's daughter and an employee like nanami being intimate without care...it just takes away the repressed feelings you both have.

but not everything should be pacified, you need to lay the problem on the table. you pull away from him and speak: "why didn't you tell me? i wouldn't have been so upset if you told me in advance."

"well..." "well?" you pry for an answer, seconds pass but nanami doesn't open his mouth.

and you knew exactly why. "did my father know about us? did he threaten you?!" you scream exactly as lightning then thunder hums in the sky.

little droplets of rain grow into bigger ones as nanami tries to get you two to shelter; but you won't budge as you plop down on the ground, tears mixing with the rain.

"what are you going to do now?" you sob out as you look at him pitifully but it's nanami who's looking down at a spoiled child who breaks down every little thing thrown at her. "are you going to be some sorcerer-masseuse who relieves people from stress?"

nanami can't help but laugh at the absurdity of your claims. you're the only person who could break a smile in that hard wall of his. he shakes his head and gets you up by your feeble arms; the rain sticks your clothes to your body that nanami spots something underneath, making him blush.

"you go in first, I'll follow suit-" "no fucking way babe, we're going in together hand in hand" "no stop-" sometimes he talks a little too much doesn't he? and so, you pull his face into your mouth and smash both of your lips together so fucking hard that it hurts so good.

the alcohol in your system takes advantage of your bold, bratty side and reveals it to your boyfriend, who very much enjoys it as well when he grips your waist a little too tight. tongues licking each other, buds not knowing if they taste water or lips, it's—it's just so fucking messy that you both just laugh because this is your unusual selves.

in the rain where visions are obscured, nanami sees the clear reason why he's going back to the jujutsu world. you may not understand but it was always done to protect you.

kissing in the moonlight with geto

how many times have you looked his way? toned abs, muscular legs, half-up long hair, and slit eyes that catch your gaze every time you take a sneak at him. god, you're not qualified to be a secret agent. could you be more obvious of how you like him by your fidgets?

this party at the beach club became uncomfortable when your dear friends left you to hook up with some guy; and no matter how much you get approached by half-naked men, you turn it down and casually move to another part of the beach to wallflower.

because holy shit, you've never seen such an attractive man in your life that potentially likes you too! it's always men liking you but you don't like them back that ruins the chances of you ever getting a boyfriend. yet, tonight it feels oddly weird that you're immediately pulled into this stranger who keeps exchanging glances with you.

you're thinking of how to approach that fine guy, he's already behind you, smiling. "hey" his sweet rake voice that you're so used to hearing become so distinguished as geto captivates you with his overwhelming charm by offering a drink.

you know his type, laying it down low just to strike at the right moment, then strip that bikini down your body. and you'd let him do it anyway; ah, the things handsome men could get away with. "you wanna go for a walk?" "yeah, sure" geto sweetly asked you for a walk then made you not be able to walk the next day—the audacity!

turns out, he's some local surfer from the island that made you think about ripping your flight back home apart.

the romance died down as you get thrown back into the busy city life. forgot geto, forgot that island as you spend the rest of the months shoving houses up your client's noses.

out of all the people you could be selling houses to...it had to be him, freaking geto suguru! the hookup from the island where you had a fun time on the sand. you suddenly feel so small amidst his large figure despite being established in the real estate industry, yet it kinda hurts that he was acting like he didn't know you! but to be fair, you're acting like you didn't know him too.

"so? are you going to take this house? it has a big pool and a nice view which you're looking for. it's probably the only one-" "can we go back to the pool?" geto cuts you off with an irked tone that flustered you but nonetheless, "yes" you agree to him as your heels clack albeit louder this time.

"this is it, you can clearly see the moon...sir?" you spin around in confusion when you see geto standing far away from you, hands in his pockets as his eyes narrow evenly at you.

"why are you acting like you don't know me?" "excuse me?" he scoffs at your response like it's some joke. "did my techniques leave a bad taste in your mouth?" geto's voice gave a hint of playfulness as you fully understand what he meant; leaving your mouth gaping like a fish out of water. finally, you got some voice back only to lose to his game, ideas of clapping back a witty response flung out the window.

"this is highly inappropriate-" "(y/n)" he drawls out your name as he approaches you slowly that you're insides are lit aflame from the flashbacks of how he groaned your name. "wanna go for a swim?" scam. you know this isn't going to end up swimming. he looks absolutely stunning when he takes off his clothes like he's not in the middle of buying a house.—but you're just the same; you give in and take off your blouse and skirt, chucking them somewhere to have some fun time with your client. this was a clear violation of rules but who cares?

who the fuck cares when geto carries your legs and places them on his sides, lifting you up as you grip his shoulders and dive in for a kiss. the taste of unfamiliar metal enters your senses when you take a lick of his pierced lips. hot. the same goes for you when you take geto to the wall of the pool and pull away despite his protesting hold.

"i suddenly want to test my lungs" you say seductively that the air is knocked out of geto's chest from the amusement you give him. the way your happy eyes glistens from the moonlight, your reflections on the water, your face looking like a pool model...he thinks he has to grab this chance.

this house won't be housing a single man after all.

[wackyrumble]

Mort v.s. Roommate

Mort - All Hail King Julien

Mort, despite appearances, is an incredibly old interdimensional being who has been married 12 times and has grandchildren. He's part starfish and has grown his head back once. Mort has the ability to absorb souls, including versions of himself and his grandma. He also has a foot fetish. Read amount more about Mort below.

Roommate - Diary of a Tourney Kid

A clone of Adam Ruins Everything that came out wrong. He debunks things in the same way as his original, but completely incorrectly. Bill Cipher turned him into a hand puppet and fused him with a clone of another character. Fought Walter White and his evil shadow self, Walter Black. Read more about Roommate below.

Full description of Mort:

"I doubt I'm the only one submitting him because it has become a meme but I might be the only one who has seen the entire show many many times so I will give a full rundown about the pure beautiful insanity that is AHKJ Mort.

Ok so I'll give the context for how he came to be the way he is. In the movie Madagascar there is a joke about Mort being too close to King Julien's feet. In that scene it is framed that King Julien just doesn't like Mort. But the show The Penguins of Madagascar (TPOM) took that joke and made an episode called Two Feet High and Rising about how Mort loves King Julien's feet and is exiled for not being able to stop himself from touching them. Pretty weird stuff but it's nothing compared to what comes later. For the rest of TPOM Mort loving King Julien's feet is a constant thing. It's like his main characteristic and you almost forget how weird it is. It's just like yeah that's Mort he loves feet *shrug* But other than that he's like a little kid and is generally cute. But now we get to All Hail King Julien and OH BOY things go insane in that show in the best ways. I'll probably submit multiple characters from it just because there's so much weird there.

So here's the meat of this essay I'm apparently writing here, the weird of AHKJ Mort.

He is a interdimensional being capable of absorbing alternate versions of himself. Those versions of himself are able to talk to him as voices in his head which he sometimes sees as appearing in front of him. The inside of his mind is a bunch of hallways with those versions running around and they are capable of taking control of him in various situations. When he drinks coffee Smart Mort takes over. When he drinks Tea Hippie Mort takes over and at one point Political Mort beats up the other Morts inside his head to take control so he could win the election for Prime Minister of Mangos. He also absorbed his grandmother and didn't remember doing that. In the actual show he absorbed his grandfather who tried to convince him to kill King Julien because King Juliens great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather locked him up when Mort was a baby. Oh and that gets into the age thing. Yeah Mort is absurdly old and it's a running joke that he looks like a kid but is actually very old. There was also an alternate version of him called Morticus Khan who was the leader of the Mort Horde and Mort defeated him by absorbing his essence. At one point he states that he had been married 12 times and most of his wives died of old age. He also says at one point that he hasn't laid an egg in 40 years and even then the thing he hatched was really gross. Another time he mentions having grandchildren and when Maurice asks "You have grandchildren" he shoots webs out of his wrists and shouts "WHAT!? Did they escape? Don't let them find me!". Yeah we are still talking about the cute little lemur from Madagascar. There's also a scene where he finds a wardrobe that leads into the real world and it goes live action for a few seconds before he turns around and goes back. He also tried to murder a dude for a while. This other kingdom took over and Mort tries to shoot him with a crossbow, poison him and crush him with a rock. None of these attempts are successful. He also seriously disfigures a character named Rob McTodd who had had too much plastic surgery done (yes this is a real plotline for the lemur characters lol) Mort jumped on his face and messed it up and then he comes back in a phantom of the opera storyline. He also mentions at one point that he's part starfish and grew his head back once.

So that's how having a foot fetish is somehow no longer the weirdest thing about this character. That's still a thing too though. He had a box that he said he's going to put King Julien's feet inside when he dies. They played real life Monopoly and was winning so much that everyone else was starving and he tried to use having all the money to extort King Julien into letting him go on a date with his foot. (It was like a candlelit table with Mort on one and and Julien's foot up on a pillow at the other end. Julien immediately changed his mine and left lol)

Now I wanna go on about how exactly we got here lol. The whole absorbing thing started with Smart Mort. The idea that he got smart when he drank coffee was established at the end of season 1. Then in season 2 episode 4 Pineapple of my Eye King Julien is weirdly obsessed with a pineapple because he thinks it has the souls of his ancestors inside. Mort is seeing it speak to him and mock him as well as other voices in his head including a weirdly aggressive violent one who wants to burn the kingdom to the ground. The idea of him being way older is first just when King Julien kicks him and people think he kicked a baby and he says "That wasn't a baby it was an annoying little weirdo" but the first time it's more of a real thing is in an episode where King Julien wants a son so Mort paints his tail striped and pretends and King Julien seems convinced by it and is like super into it. And then at the end Mort confesses and King Julien already knew and said "It's Mort I mean come on he could be my father!" and so then in another episode he calls another character Hector whos whole thing is that he's a grumpy old war veteran "grandpa" mockingly and Hector says "You're older than I am Mort" The voices thing also continues and goes from just being Mort moving back and forth into different positions when the voices talk to actually seeing multiple Morts on screen talk to each other and then we get the whole Morticus Khan and the Mort Horde thing which is where the absorbing souls thing is revealed. And then he goes into his own mind and meets his grandmother who reveals that he absorbed her and then all the the stuff about the 12 wives and the laying an egg and the grandchildren are from the last season when we've reached maximum crazy mode.

That's how this show works with basically everything. There will be a joke or a plot of an episode which is a little weird. It gets called back and becomes a little weirder. It then becomes a running joke and then gets weirder and weirder every time it comes back. I love this show so much. I know this got a little redundant but I love explaining how this all built up over the show with how they kept adding those weirdness layers as it went lol I mostly wrote all this from memory except to get the number of greats that Mort's grandpa said correct shakfdsahflk I have seen this show too many times

If you hadn't seen any of the memeing about Mort's wikipedia page and so this is all news to you I hope reading this was fun for you lol"

Full description of Roommate:

"OK OK OK SO LIKE. HE'S FROM THIS MASHUP TOURNAMENT HOSTED ON SOUNDCLOUD & DISCORD CALLED "DIARY OF A TOURNEY KID, RIGHT? YES, IT IS BASED OFF OF DIARY OF A WIMPY KID IN NAME, THEMING, AND A BUNCH OF THE CHARACTERS IN IT. AND YES, THE ENTIRE PREMISE WAS STARTED BY GREG HEFFLEY TRAPPING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN THE DIARY. LOOK. OKAY. THAT ISN'T THE POINT HERE. (including a few real people but. roommate isn't one of those real people, LOL)

so Roommate is, like, a WEIRD case. he's a clone of a TV personality version of a real guy(adam conover specifically the whole thing he does in, like, adam ruins everything), but is SPECIFICALLY STATED TO BE A SEPERATE CHARACTER IN LORE. LIKE. HES A WHOLE OTHER GUY. HE DOESNT EVEN ACT LIKE HIM. HES LIKE. THE SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN EQUIVALENT OF A MAN. all he does is run around and "Debunk" shit but hes getting it all totally WRONG. It's like, if someone who never watched adam ruins everything before took one look at its name, the blonde, glasses wearing combover having guy on the cover, and went. "oh, this guy is gonna be HORRIBLE, isnt he". and in the shows case thatd be wrong but in roommate's case, he's...he's so pathetic. he's not even the same guy at this point. (and also literally isn't. but)

He never even manages to intimidate anyone even once. not even mr beast and ninja fortnite, (part of a team called Dubious Duo) who he just. VERY much annoyed via "ruining" twitch. He also got turned into a meaty handpuppet and fused to another clone of a different character by BILL CIPHER, of all characters but then immediately fell into a hole. He got his shit beaten out of him by a 19 year old punk catboy JUST before this, too. the punk catboys name is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart BUT HE IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO THE REAL GUY. HES LITERALLY JUST. SOME RANDOM TEENAGER.

Also, extra fun facts about him include: during an event that happened on the discord, he canonically went ":3". He made his own ytp and posted it on the soundcloud account, too. he put a bunch of goofy wacky cartoon sounds in it. (his mashups use these sounds a lot outside of the ytp, too.) (incase you REALLY wanted to hear the ytp, though. here it is: https://soundcloud.com/doatk/ytpmv-02?in=doatk/sets/bonus )

P.S: extra information from a friend because they like to infodump this sort of thing & this isn't nescessary at all. but: He gets the fandom nickname of "Roommate" from his connection to Collegehumor & the Insane Clown Posse song In My Room, which he used in the tournament & is strongly associated with. He's so. He's so normal.

(P.S, P.S: THE IMAGE I SENT WITH THIS IS TECHNICALLY ART OF HIM FROM A CROSSOVER WITH ANOTHER SOUNDCLOUD TOURNAMENT THAT HAPPENED. BUT. its the best render i have that isnt done in like. ms paint LOL. IN SAID CROSSOVER (WITH A TOURNAMENT CALLED "THE PERFECT TOURNAMENT") HE ALSO FOUGHT WALTER WHITE AND HIS. EVIL SHADOW SELF, CALLED WALTER BLACK. WHO WAS LITERALLY HIS SHADOW.)

also: nobody in the fandom knows what his deal is, either. they literally just couldnt catch the real adam conover at first so they (In canon) just went "well! time to make a clone, i guess!" and then he came out WRONG."

[givemeanaccountalready]

A Who-Swung-It Mystery: The Case of the Switch-Hitter (1/3)

1 / 2 / 3

Despite the humorous title, I want to be serious for a second. I am not a licensed psychologist/psychiatrist/licensed social worker/etc., and I am certainly not an expert on dissociative identity disorder (DID). My knowledge of this disorder comes from the research I have done to try and understand it. I am trying to be as respectful as possible towards the subject matter, and I sincerely apologize if I show a lack of understanding and will do my best to correct it. I want to focus on switching, since we don't really have much information on Mikoto's childhood that led to him developing this disorder and I do not want to speculate. I only say childhood and not adulthood because the literature I found suggests that it is rather rare for this already rare disorder to form past the age of ten. Mikoto could be one of those special cases, but we'll have to wait and see.

Now, before you begin violently shaking me over the length of this post, just know that I am sorry about it. I want to argue that Mikoto’s DID is a red herring. Despite his claims otherwise, John did not directly kill anyone, Mikoto did. Through the voice dramas and the music videos, we get to see both Mikoto and John's individual perspectives and personalities. From what we've seen in MeMe and Double and then heard during John Doe and Neoplasm, I think I figured out what happened the night of the murder.

Fun fact before the post cut: in Japanese, the kanji for baseball are combine the kanji for field and ball (野球) and is read as ‘Kakyu’. The number nine in Japanese is read as ‘kyu’ or ‘ku’ and our baseball-loving prisoner, Mikoto, is prisoner number nine.

Okay, now you can begin violently shaking me.

Milgram's Very Own Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Subverting the Evil Alter Trope

Robert Louis Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a tale that lives in infamy, and here in the West, it is synonymous with dual personalities. Published in 1886, the story is meant to be an allegory regarding good and evil. Pop culture osmosis usually has it right that Dr. Jekyll accidentally created Mr. Hyde in a lab accident, but here's the thing, it's more of a happy accident than a “Well, the risk I took was calculated but man, I’m bad at math,” one. Dr. Jekyll is a respectable, older gentleman who meant to erase his "shameful urges" (the story never explains what they are exactly, just that they go against the Victorian moral code) and accidentally created Mr. Hyde. As Mr. Hyde, Jekyll is a younger, shorter man whose only identifying feature is that everyone immediately hates him. That is not a joke. People who ran into Hyde can’t really describe him other than having the gut instinct to avoid him. But more importantly, I need you to know that Dr. Jekyll had spent most of the story voluntarily transforming himself into Mr. Hyde so he could give into those shameful urges and then used his wealth as Dr. Jekyll to sweep any trouble that arose back under the rug.

Besides being physically different, the main difference between Jekyll and Hyde is that Hyde lacks Jekyll's morals and inhibitions. Jekyll delights in the freedom he can experience as Hyde, until as Hyde, he beats a man to death with a cane. A few months before the murder, Jekyll had started to realize that he did not have as much control over Hyde as he previously thought and went two months without drinking the transformation tonic. As Jekyll puts it, in a moment of weakness, (yes, it reads like an allegory about substance abuse) Jekyll takes the tonic, transforms into Hyde, and since Hyde is pissed over being locked up for so long, he exercised his frustrations on a rich man's head.

Historically, the nineteenth century is when psychologists started arguing over the existence of multiple personalities, and the public back then was as fascinated with it as it is now. And I can't believe that we're nearing The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's 150th anniversary, and the evil alternate personality trope is still going strong! I swear to you, it seems like DID is only ever brought up in conjunction with stories involving a murder(s), and the resolution is always, the evil alter committed it. I only know one example (Primal Fear (1996)) where the evil alter didn't do it, but that was because of the twist ending!

Besides wanting the novelty of the core having killed someone rather than the 'evil' alter, I think it would fit in with Milgram's dedication to emphasizing that each prisoner is an individual with their good points and bad. No one is 100% good, or bad, or anything else (Jackalope is 100% chaotic neutral, but he is a mythical creature, not a human, so shh). They have dominant traits that may influence their actions, but as in reality, things aren't black and white. It would make sense for Mikoto and John to reflect this. Mikoto is not 100% good and John is not 100% evil. They both have good and bad traits.

I think that the first trial shows it much better than the second, but Mikoto's main problem is how he constantly denies that anything is troubling him. Es calls him out on it explicitly during Neoplasm. Mikoto’s response is, “Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end,” explaining that the pretending helps him cope. It may not be the healthiest coping mechanism, but it is what he does. The most recent example of this not actually helping anyone is during Mikoto’s 2023 birthday timeline conversation. Mikoto questions himself to see if John really does exist and then he angrily blames John, only for John to front long enough to yell that he did it to save them. John disappears and Mikoto tells himself that that was useless, and that he’s tired and should stop thinking so hard about it. John has repeated quite a few times during Neoplasm and in that timeline conversation that he did it because Mikoto couldn’t handle it. The implication is that it is referring to the stress that built up and led to the murder. I agree with John that Mikoto’s decision to continue putting his head in the sand and to bottle up all his stress would have led to a breakdown. Everyone has a limit, and it is clear that Mikoto was rapidly approaching his. I don't disagree with that at all. What I disagree with is John's claim that he is solely responsible for the murder, because his existence does not make him purely evil and Mikoto's purely good. To think so is to play right into the black-and-white dichotomy of morality and play directly into Yamanaka's hands.

Despite his more sadistic tendencies, John does have some positive traits. We know he cares deeply for Mikoto and wants to protect him, even if his actions aren't acceptable. In Neoplasm, we’ve even heard John express some pride over being a college graduate, something Mikoto has previously downplayed when asked questions by Amane. We’ve seen in timeline conversations that Mikoto is capable of expressing annoyance and exasperation (with Fuuta) as well as anger (at John in the above timeline conversation). John can be cruel and aggressive, but he is active in asserting himself. Meanwhile, Mikoto is considerate to others to the point of his own detriment and is rather passive when it comes to conflict. Just because Mikoto seems to have more desirable character traits than John doesn’t make Mikoto incapable of committing a violent act.

Now, onto the murder, what could lead to Mikoto killing somebody?

"Communism was just a red herring." - Clue (1985)

I firmly believe that John is full of shit. Despite the number of destroyed mannequins, there is only one murder victim: the blond fellow we see at the beginning of MeMe. And just like in the cult classic, Clue (1985), I think the motive was blackmail.

Remember Mikoto's glitched line from the second voice trailer? "DESTROY EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!" I don't know if this is just an accepted fan theory or if it had been confirmed, but it is believed that the lines from the second voice trailer happen before the murder takes place. If it had taken place after the murder occurred, then everything would most likely reference the evidence of the murder. But this takes place before the murder happened. Sure, it could be John's need for one of those rage rooms, but if I'm being honest, I think it was blackmail that could have gotten Mikoto fired from his job. Despite the amount of stress his current job causes him, Mikoto has stated over and over again that he worked very hard to get into the best company in the advertising business, and in his Trial Two interrogation questions, he has stated that he will not leave his current job because he believes that his efforts will eventually be rewarded. Mikoto is fine with being uncomfortable if he believes it will lead to future benefit (AKA, no pain, no gain).

From what I understand about Japan's work culture, getting fired puts a black stain on your record and makes it extremely difficult to find a new job. Getting fired by a top-tier advertising agency isn't just losing his dream job, but possibly destroying any chance of Mikoto gaining any opportunity or prestige for the rest of his career. All his hard work will be for naught. There are plenty of real-world instances where someone lost their job or lost their college acceptance because of poor behavior on the individual's part. If the blond victim had evidence of Mikoto acting badly, regardless of whether it was Mikoto or John fronting, Mikoto's boss could fire him, ruining his chances of ever being rewarded for his hard work. People have certainly killed for less in the real world.

Personally, I lean towards the blackmail being something John did, although this comes from Mikoto's line from Undercover: "Don't lie about me / what did I do?" If Mikoto cannot remember anything from when John fronts and he is aware of his forgetful spells, then not only would Mikoto question whether the blackmail had been doctored but also he'd wonder if there is a hint of truth to it. Remember Mikoto's words to Fuuta, "You're a uni student, right? You can't act like that once you start working properly," as if the angry behavior from Fuuta is only normal until a certain age. Perhaps Mikoto took part in some bad behavior in the past. More likely than not, it’s John in the blackmail. T1Q11 answer states, "Yes, I am [someone who takes others into consideration]. I'm a working adult. Communicating makes work easier." It's almost ironic how his boss constantly texting him and inconsideration causes Mikoto problems, and because he is the new guy and subordinate, Mikoto can't exactly tell his boss to fuck off.

His T1Q10 answer better lays out his beef with Fuuta's behavior: "I don't think I've ever gotten angry before. Isn't it kind of disgraceful to get angry?" Now, Mikoto is a very go-along-to-get-along kind of guy and Fuuta is not. He could be telling the truth that he has never gone into a blind rage (that Mikoto remembers), but to say he has never felt anger is most likely a lie.

Here is how I think the murder went down. At the beginning of MeMe, we see Mikoto waiting in a dark, secluded area near the train tracks. His hair is mostly covered by the beanie and we cannot make out his expression whatsoever, so there is no clue to tell us who is fronting between Mikoto and John. Mikoto does not appear to have a bat on his person or around him, and it seems like he is holding his phone. The blond victim could have just been a stranger walking by, but I think that he was an old friend of Mikoto's from high school or college and was supposed to meet with him. As peers who are supposed to be working adults, Mikoto is under the impression that whatever this is, they can just talk it out. This is all just one big misunderstanding.

Maybe the blond victim even brought the bat for an intimidation factor. Maybe Mikoto brought it just in case. I lean towards the former because you would notice misplacing your own baseball bat (they can get really expensive) is hard to not notice, and the whole thing is easier to deny if you don't even own the murder weapon in the first place. Whatever the case, the blond reveals his blackmail and demands payment or else it's getting sent to Mikoto's boss. Mikoto sees nothing but red, screams at his old friend to destroy all of the blackmail, take the bat, and then swings. The first blow hits the victim's lower back, just like how it hit Es in Undercover, and it is enough to render the victim's legs useless, forcing him to try and crawl away rather than run. Mikoto raises the bat well over his head and brings it down again, killing the victim.

With no one around but his now deceased victim, the red haze lifts and Mikoto realizes what he just did, prompting the first trial glitched line, which is believed to take place after the murder, "My life... it wasn't supposed to be this way." The heartbreak is too much to bear. John takes over and is the one to bury the body, dispose of the evidence, and clean Mikoto up. When Mikoto wakes up the next day, he can disregard it as a bad dream: "All I did was dream / And that's what you found GUILTY?"

Pretty words, but empty ones, I know. Where's my proof? I'm glad you asked. :)

Switch-Hitting

Let's start out with the murder weapon: the baseball bat.

In baseball, a switch-hitter is someone who can bat left- and right-handed. Switch-hitters are prized by coaches, because batters have a higher chance of hitting the ball when they swing opposite of the pitcher; meaning a left-handed batter has a better chance of hitting a ball thrown by a right-handed pitcher than the right-handed batter against that same pitcher. There can be switch-pitchers (someone who can throw left- and right-handed), but because Mikoto's murder weapon seems to be the baseball bat, I'm going to focus on the way he swings the bat. As previously stated, during the third chorus of Undercover, we see Mikoto's silhouette bludgeon Es with a baseball bat.

Now, it has been a while since I've played baseball and softball, but I do still own a bat and I believe that that is a left-handed swing. A left-handed batter would have their left hand positioned above the right hand and the bat would have been held over their left shoulder. When they swing, they step in and turn towards their right to complete the swing. That is what Mikoto is doing in this picture. I tried to mimic the swing, but I am a right handed batter, so it feels awkward when I do it. Right-handed batters are more common that left-handed hitters, and in Double, we see Mikoto/John bat both ways, making him a switch-hitter. In the US, a switch-hitter has to pick one side to hit from during the time he is at bat, meaning that say he batted right, then swung and missed twice (two strikes, one more and he's out), he can’t switch to bat left. He can switch to bat left the next time he is up at bat, but he cannot switch positions once he steps up to the plate. I can’t find much on Japan’s rules about switch-hitting, but there’s a ton of articles about a high school player who kept switching positions for every pitch during the same at bat (pissing off the Americans in the comments section). Now, I can’t speak for professional baseball in Japan, but I guess switching positions during the same at bat is allowed at the level Mikoto played (high school). I do feel confident in stating that the Mikoto featured in Undercover has a left-handed swing. But Gimme, what does that have to do with switch-hitting? Switch-hitting involves batting both ways.

If you continue to closely watch the opening of MeMe, while Mikoto holds the bat in his left hand, but when he readies himself for the overhead swing, Mikoto has his right hand over his left, something a right-handed batter would do. I actually made a list of when we see Mikoto swing the bat, and it seems that when Mikoto swings the bat normally (like how he would in a game), he usually bats left-handed. I could only find one instance of Mikoto holding the bat right-handed as though he were up to bat.

Left-Handed Batting:

at 3:04 in Undercover

at 0:30 in MeMe

at 0:58 in Double

at 1:29 in Double

Right-Handed Batting:

at 1:26 in Double

Buuuut, when we see Mikoto swing the bat abnormally, he uses his right hand to guide the swing as if he were batting right-handed. His right hand is above his left (which is normal positioning for a right-handed swing) when he does the overhead swing in MeMe at 0:37, and when he swings the bat one handed during Double, it is with his right-hand.

Your dominant hand isn't what determines your batting stance. Generally, it's a good indicator, but it's not set in stone thanks to cross-handedness. Cross-handedness is when you use your dominant hand for certain activities and your non-dominant hand for others. But if it matters, Mikoto is right-handed. Most of his actions in both songs involve his right-hand. If you watch MeMe, the only time Mikoto uses his left hand is to move the camera at the beginning and end of the song, and then to pick up the Death tarot card at the very end of the song. In Double, the only time he uses his left hand is when he swings the bat. Also, his shoulder bag is on his left shoulder in both MeMe and Double, and generally, purses and shoulder bags rests on your non-dominant side to give your dominant hand easy access.

Like I said, Mikoto being right-handed doesn't necessarily translate to him batting right-handed. Now, I'm no baseball expert, but I don't think his left-handed swings are all that good. They look 'jerky' to me. We don't see Mikoto complete a right-handed swing; we only see him hold the bat as if he is waiting for a pitch and the positioning seems natural. And there is something that I want to point out. You can train yourself to become a switch-hitter. I am not kidding when I say that switch-hitters are coveted. I think it would be in-character of Mikoto to naturally bat right-handed but try to teach himself how to bat left-handed so that he can become a switch-hitter. He is someone who knows what they want and creates a ten-step plan to get it, (see his "I wanted this job so I chose this art college with this degree"). He also believes in hard work being rewarded, so if he successfully trains himself to become a switch-hitter, his coach will reward him with more playing time (in this case, move him up the batting list). Mikoto is also self-effacing, so when he puts himself down, it needs to be questioned. Are his claims about not being good at baseball an example of his low self-esteem affects his perception of himself, or was he just plain bad because he was batting from the wrong side? He could just plain suck at baseball, but his abnormal, right-handed swings are smooth and controlled. It makes me think he bats right naturally, and that his left-handed swings are him practicing to get better at switch-hitting.

Unlike Mikoto, John is not patient. He would not bother with a swing he is not comfortable with. We saw that in John Doe as they are quick to taunt Es and lash out at them and Kotoko. John did not try to retreat and figure out a strategy to best Kotoko, an experienced fighter, he just went for it. I can only assume he wised up during his fight with Kotoko and that's why she couldn't knock him out a second time. This impulsive, fiery temper reappears in Neoplasm, when John mock Es for chaining Mikoto and for the name they gave him, and then as Es stalls during John's prodding of what will happen to Mikoto, John begins shouting at Es to answer him. I would probably split the two this way: while Mikoto is proactive with his willingness to think ahead and shortchange himself for the chance of being rewarded in the future, John is reactive and his impulsiveness leads to short-term thinking that can screw over Mikoto.

Here's Mikoto in Neoplasm: "I wonder if it's like... some kind of sleepwalking...? After all, I've been losing sleep more and more often recently... Man... It's really troublesome, isn't it?...Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I'm pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities." At this point, he can no longer deny that nothing is wrong, and Mikoto is now forced to seriously consider just what is going on when he has these forgetful spells and falls asleep. Something is wrong, and he is trying to follow his usual protocol of smiling and quietly figuring out how to make things turn out for the best. Except it is not working in Milgram, triggering John's appearance in Neoplasm.

John is surprised by Es's acceptance of the situation, and even says, "I'd just think it's a lie someone came up with to get away with murder." As he and Es continue to talk, John asks Es why they think he was born and confirms that his role is to protect Mikoto from harm. Es is the one to bring up the murder, and suddenly, the chatty John is giving short, vague responses, reiterating that he is the murderer, not Mikoto. Here's some of it, "Yeah, it's me. I killed them off... They annoyed me [so I killed them]... Just someone [a stranger] who was walking around nearby... Can't remember [how many I killed]." When Es demands to know how John can be so calm, John changes the subject to find out what will happen to Mikoto. When Es cannot give him a satisfactory answer, John repeats again and again that Mikoto is innocent and that he, John, is at fault, so please forgive Mikoto. I think John would admit to every wrongdoing of Mikoto's if that meant Mikoto's burden would be lifted. It's why I don't trust him. Not only is his confession too vague to be considered admissible, but as Mikoto’s protector, he also has a reason to take the fall. John is not an evil alter, but he is taking advantage of the trope to get Mikoto the Innocent verdict. An Innocent verdict, in John’s mind, will erase most of Mikoto’s current stress. It is too short term, and relies to heavily on Mikoto’s habit of denial. If Mikoto is found Innocent, there is a chance that he may continue to pull his head out of the sand to figure out what is going on so he can learn how to manage or suppress it so his everyday life won't be impacted.

Oh, and one more thing before I end this first part.

That Wasn't Mikoto at the End of Neoplasm, which is why Double differs from MeMe.

John is playing up the idea that he is an evil alter to get Mikoto out of trouble, and the weird behavior shown by 'Mikoto' at the end of Neoplasm is just John attempting to manipulate us. Do you guys remember at the end of John Doe when Mikoto is back in control and is confused and then horrified as to why he’s hurting and why Es is now covered in bruises? From what I’ve read, that confusion is a common sign of personalities having been switched, and so is the memory loss he has experienced. Now compare that to the end of Neoplasm, when John ‘leaves’ and Mikoto comes back and immediately starts guessing what kind of dog Es owns? And how weird that is because Mikoto had started the interview clearly worried over what is going on with him when he is ‘asleep’? I don’t think Mikoto actually came back. I think that that’s John taking advantage of Es being startled by the bell and pretending to be Mikoto and trying to emphasize how harmless Mikoto. Mikoto is just a little guy. How can someone so friendly be a monster?

1 / 2 / 3

[virusinfected-memes]

COFFEE TALK SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 1 OF ? ;

115 starters. CW: alcohol mention, sexual themes. Coffee Talk is a visual novel game developed by Toge Productions. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed! 

"Welco—Oh, it's you."

"Man, that's a bummer!"

"Don't worry, take your time."

"Heh, writer's block again?"

"What are you writing now?"

"I really need that triple shot espresso."

"Hmm, that aroma... Ahh... That's exactly what I need."

"It sounded so simple when I was making the plan."

"Uh, did I say something wrong?"

"Drown your troubles in coffee."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, it was such a stupid thing to do."

"Umm... Well... It was so bad that, well, after reading it... I decided to just delete everything immediately."

"You don't need to be so cynical about it."

"How about something chocolatey? It's perfect for this weather."

"I thought this place would be more crowded."

"I don't really have anywhere else to go."

"I'm a writer who works best at night and in a coffee shop."

"No matter how deep you go, there's always another layer of Hell."

"How do you usually deal with bad customers here?"

"I could go on forever complaining about her, but that won't help me."

"You should make a meme about her."

"It wouldn't be wise to talk about customers with other customers."

"They won't give us a chance at all?"

"I got into a fight with my old man. That's why I'm staying at _____'s now."

"You don't have to do this, you know?"

"I can't stand even one more second being a part of them."

"You don't know what they said about you last night!"

"So this it, then... The end of out relationship."

"Do you want to be hiding our relationship for the rest of eternity?"

"You're making this hard for both of us."

"Do you feel happy when you're with me?"

"I can't think about this clearly right now."

"I'm sorry you had to listen to our problems."

"This coffee shop has seen all kinds of stories. I do hope yours will have a happy ending."

"Do you have someone you love?"

"Out of all the people in the world, why did I fall for her?"

"You can't choose who you fall in love with."

"Anyway, I need to go now, and probably drink myself under until the sun rises."

"Hey, don't be rude! I'm being serious here!"

"What if I say you can't do that?"

"Seems like you're in high spirits this evening, _____."

"You still remember my favorite, right?"

"I'm not even sure whether that's a compliment or not..."

"You got balls, I can tell you that."

"How's the leap of faith going so far?"

"Wait... Is stealing time a crime?"

"You're making me feel worse by saying that."

"You should feel bad."

"Hey, what do you have against me tonight?!"

"This was the place, wasn't it? Where we first met..."

"They should have given you a promotion for your loyalty and long service."

"That only happens in porn."

"You don't have to feel ashamed if you like watching that kind of thing, you know..."

"I would prefer if you didn't start fantasizing."

"It's nice to see friendships that grow in unlikely circumstances."

"Please don't do jokes. You're really bad at it."

"Hey, _____, seems like there's a cat—OH MY GOD, SHE GOT IN WITH ME."

"You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Seriously, you've never seen me on TV or social media?"

"Why does this coffee shop attract so many weird people?"

"Actually... I witnessed something scary on my shift today."

"This is the safest place around here."

"Hey, that endorsement comes with a discount, right?"

"You know I can hear you, right?"

"Unresolved problems are dangerous."

"As much as I hate to admit it... Conflict is always the best way to know someone. Even your own blood."

"You don't need to rush to a decision."

I could never imagine myself doing something so... Hmm, what's the word? Something as honorable... as that."

"Are you dealing with something I shouldn't ask about?"

"I'm not a criminal. In case that's what you had in mind."

"Isn't that false advertising?"

"Don't be naive. Truth is a matter of circumstance and perspective."

"Act like a civilized person... If you can."

"I imagine, even in a world where only one race exists, problems will still appear, anyway."

"Perhaps it's diversity that can teach us to look past the differences."

"The bottom line is, we'll always find a way to hate each other."

"Call me pretentious, but I think drinks have the power to connect people's hearts."

"I want our relationship to move forward. I want a family."

"Why do you have to care so much about what his or your family think?"

"I don't want to be held responsible if he regrets his decision one day."

"Abandoning one's family is NOT a solution!"

"What if marrying me is a mistake?"

"From what I can see, you're the problem here."

"That 'blood is thicker than water' mentality won't work here."

"Not every family is worth fighting for, you know."

"You can't have it all, _____. This is not a fairy tale."

"You didn't have to say it so harshly, you know."

"You never change, do you?"

"Dude, honesty is good and all, but... You know, try not to be a dick."

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"What did you want to talk about when you told me to meet you here?"

"Do you ever wonder what we'd be like if we hadn't met?"

"Earthlings really need to work on their communication."

"Are you urukhigh69?"

"If you're that desperate for a date, why don't you ask your friends or go to a club or something?"

"If she didn't reply, I'm a hundred percent sure she bailed. She's not coming."

"Life is never boring here."

"I always wanted to be a fiction writer, but... conjuring words is hard."

"Hahaha! Come on, you don't have to worry so much about everything."

"To be honest, I hated the idea of turning the game into a movie."

"They have the budget for the flashy visuals, but I doubt they'll do the series justice."

"You're not the first to say I'm weird."

"Usually people that play artsy games are gamers that got bored of the current state of video games."

"Whoa, that's a highly specific fun fact to know."

"My extended family is probably as big as Seattle's population."

"Ahhh, that smell... It brings back so many memories."

"You're being creepy, _____... Go back to your chair and keep your distance!"

"There's a creepy old man trying to flirt with us..."

"I apologize for earlier. I wasn't trying anything funny."

"I don't know how to talk to her anymore. Or even what to talk about."

"Give them time and space... but be there when they need you."

"Well, nothing's happened... Yet. I just feel it in my guts."

"Is it possible you're just being paranoid?"

"You'll drive her away if you keep on acting like this."

"Is it okay if I stay a bit longer, _____?"

[shiyorin]

Mournival but they are your college roommate

No one asked it but I need to share that :v

Ezekyle Abaddon

Comes to school with a huge duffel bag and toolbox. When you ask what's in it, he just smiles and says "tools." You don't ask anymore.

Always blasting really aggressive rap/metal music super loud. His top jam is "Back in Black" by AC/DC on repeat.

Leaves his dirty laundry everywhere but his bed is always perfectly made with tight hospital corners.

You're pretty sure you saw him behind the wheel of a rusty black van late at night, but the school won't investigate strange disappearances.

Loves party games but is way too competitive. No one wants to play Mario Kart with him anymore after "the incident".

Constantly gets in fights at parties but never seems to get in trouble. Cops take one look at him and just shake their heads like "not dealing with this tonight".

Always standing shirtless in the room doing calisthenics. Claims he's cultivating mass but you think he's just trying to intimidate the RA.

Somehow accumulated the world's biggest knife collection despite the no weapons policy. Admin turns a blind eye for fear of their safety.

Tries to get you to join his intramural flag football team, the "Black Crusaders". They go way too hard and half the other teams have dropped out.

Somehow has a 4.0 GPA while seeming preoccupied with "more important things." Howwww.

Tarik Torgaddon

Brings way too much beer to your first Friday night dorm party. Claims "Bro always shares his drinks!"

Leaves practical jokes everywhere - who put googly eyes on the toothbrushes?!

Always trying to get you to join the campus meme lodge with him. "Come on, it'll be fun! We just post poorly photoshopped history professors, I swear."

Never cleans the mini-fridge. Wonders why mystery science experiments started growing in there.

Burns popcorn at 3am trying to make "late night snacks." Fires the fire alarm and you both get written up.

Steals your lounging spot in the common room to "hold court" and tell loud stories to anyone who will listen.

Hogs the bathroom for hours getting ready to "go out in style" on the weekends. Comes back drenched and you don't wanna know from what.

Leaves you in charge of the dorm when he goes home for breaks. Comes back to three keggers you "somehow forgot" to tell him about.

Somehow always tests positive for COVID right before big exams. You're 95% sure he's faking to get out of studying.

He's a really fun dude and always has your back. Gonna miss this guy after graduation!

Garviel Loken

He wakes up at 6am every morning to do pushups and calisthenics in your room.

Never seen him drink or party. That one time you tried to get him to come to a frat party he responded with "Nah bro I gotta hit the hay early, lifting at 6 am."

Tries to get you to join the campus military re-enactment club. Insists you could benefit from "some discipline and camaraderie".

Cooking? You thought you were the one making ramen but he shows up with a whole homecooked meal like beef wellington from scratch. "My friend Tarik taught me."

That one time the fire alarm went off at 3am? He carried you and your mini fridge down the stairs in one go."

Always does his dishes immediately after using them. Not one speck of food left. The clean freak we all need but don't deserve.

Super into his classes, always studying. You often find him making color-coded notecards at 3am under his desk lamp.

Somehow still finds time to join every club and sport. Is president of the book club, captain of the ultimate frisbee team, volunteers at the animal shelter on weekends.

Has a strict 9pm lights out bedtime. You've tried stay up late to play game but he just throws a pillow at you look and says "some of us have 6ams."

Somehow always has cute girls knocking on your door asking "is Garrie there?". The chad energy is real.

Horus Aximand

The second you meet him you're like "Woah this dude looks EXACTLY like the frat bro president."

Helps you move in but 'accidentally' gets protective plating mixed in with your clothes and snacks. Whoops!

Forms LARP club which is really just him and 3 (actually 4) other guys who are all as intense as he is.

Constantly blasting Sabaton songs from his speaker. Claims it's for "battle prepping" but we all know he just loves some power metal.

Bonding over late night games of Smash Bros while deep in the existential crisis of your freshman year.

Always wears matching sweatsuits with "Little Horus" embroidered on the chest. Claims it's his sport team uniform but you've never seen him play any sports.

Making you try all the experimental protein shakes he conjures up in the mini fridge. You're scared but don't want to hurt his feelings. So many regrets.

Finding mysterious used bandages around the room. He swears they're from "glorious battles" but they're really just from the intramural dodgeball games.

That one time the fire alarm went off and he tried to purge it with a flamer.

Always "forgetting" he can lift a textbook one-handed and showing off to the swole bros.

[fly-you-dam-fools]

The Hogwarts Houses as Things I’ve Done:

Hello all! This is the long-awaited not awaited at all post about which Hogwarts House you think I'm in. I've tried to be pretty secretive of it and I don't think I've spilled about it (except to one person, you know who you are) because I've been waiting for this post.

All of this stuff has actually happened to me, some stuff is pretty funny 😂

PLEASE GUESS I'd love to see your take, and once a good number of people have guessed, I promise I'll disclose my Hogwarts House 😉

So, here we begin, in order of the Sorting Hat song in the first book so there aren't any favorites:

Gryffindor

Constantly thinks about all the things you could do to make a situation go wrong

Blasting music in the room and jamming while the family is out

Blasting music in the room and jamming while the family is in

Running around a campground randomly

That Hiccup meme supporting friend 👍

Picks dare at truth or dare and gets in trouble with the school

Constantly had to explain weird situations to supervisors in elementary school

Not liking supervising people because they always blamed stuff on us (the older ones) instead of the real guilty party (people that were younger)

Stashing trinkets behind a tree that’s off-grounds

Pretending the people running behind me are Grievers (the creepy stuff in The Maze Runner movies) to motivate me to keep running, and beat them

Types up an email or message with words that aren’t 100% soft and not-treading and clicks send impulsively

Intrusive thoughts on how long something would take to drop to the ground from a high place (like a small inanimate object)

Jams to video game soundtracks and pretends to be on a quest

Looks at videos on how to do cool sword/lightsaber tricks

Can picture themselves in a music video or dancing a super complicated number

Sends memes to friends constantly

Hufflepuff

Yells “Bless you!” to a person in another room

Initiate conversations with the new kid

Gets secondhand embarrassment from videos

Thinks about doing bad things then thinks about the punishment, then does the bad thing and feels super sorry and apologizes too much only to do the whole thing over again the next day

Gives money I found on ground to higher ups (regrets it later because I could have given it to charity)

Watches video of myself who didn’t reply to someone who said “Have a nice day”, feels bad

Blushes when writing fluff

Thinks fashion moodboards for hogwarts houses should be more varied

Constantly stubs toes on things (same place repeatedly)

Actually takes one piece of candy on Halloween when there’s no one at home

Has seriously never watched a horror movie before, but still enjoys the little thrills in other movies

Makes sure others are drinking water while sometimes neglecting to do the same

Feels bad when unable to make a commitment 

Seriously finds old couples/seniors so sweet

Is absolutely and completely distracted as soon as animals enter the picture, and will spend the next 45 minutes staring at a cute little bunny on the grass (at a respectable distance of course)

Always helps people with passing things out

Ravenclaw

Wishing humans could go days without eating or sleeping just to sit in front of a computer and do nothing

Folding clothes neatly only to throw them randomly in the closet

Yells at stupid characters in the movie to do better

Has a large collection of bookmarks

Uses phone as a bookmark because we all know which is more important

Daring other people to do things and never personally playing truth or dare

Reading ahead in class reads while keeping track of who’s talking and where in the book the class is reading

“You know there’s a spell for that right?”

Putting on thinner clothes just to feel that bone-chill to feel free

Falling out of chairs. Constantly. (or sliding off)

Hearing another conversation that you’re not a part of and accidentally reacting to a joke they said

Start a thousand projects but finish none of them

Terrible sleep schedule 

Goes off on alone and runs from the friend group an entire day because you want to spend time alone and run because it’s fun

Makes schedules just to not follow them

Starts way too many projects/stories but can’t/doesn’t finish them

Slytherin

Buy plants promising to take care of them only to watch them die with a neutral face

Sign up for every type of commitment and show up at none of them

Saying to a friend to not give spoilers to a movie then searching up the plot on Wikipedia

Thinks of ways you could usurp the teacher in class

Rants in an incognito search bar 

Searching up motivational quotes just to laugh at them

Makes friendship bracelets for oneself

Constantly either loves google or hates it

Has a rivalry with the internet

Goes to Apple Stores to pull up own website on Safari

Buying friendship bracelets/necklaces but not having anyone to share them with

Racks up accomplishments and certificates but stare at them in woe because they were of the past

Signature look is literally a smirk or raised eyebrow like what do you want from me

Walks around empty places with carefully planted steps, enjoying the echo that sounds across the room

Sits on a throne/chair in that pose occasionally

Is suspicious of everything that someone holds up or interesting suggestions, immediately thinking of the possible bad outcomes and how to avoid them

This actually took me quite some time to compile (from when I first made this account!!), and feel free to reblog with your thoughts and how you relate too! This is just some things I came up with myself and thought what fit into which house~ Just have fun! Please don't repost though.

Tagging some friends because I'd like their opinion, hehe: @softbobamilktae @jinnie-forthe-winnie-recs @silvermistcosmos @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger

(I also vaguely remember doing a similar thing with asks but I totally forgot what people said (sorry 😭) and I can't find it...)

[rightpastnowhere]

Right soooo.

3. Drinking Headcanon - Vex & Vax

8. Shopping headcanon - Tary & Vex

12. Friendship headcanon - Vex & Zahra

16. Appearance headcanon - Any de Rolo child of your choice.

IT'S VEX HOURS BABY!!! AND ALSO THE DE ROLO BABIES

hoo boy this is a long one. i’m so sorry. i am insane, and you activated the Vex Loving Hours

headcanon ask meme

3. drinking, vex & vax

okay. tipsy vex and drunk vex are very different. tipsy vex is loud and fun and flirty, alcohol chipping away at that composure she tries to keep locked down. her posture loosens up, and she thinks less about what she says - she snorts and giggles, her words slur together, and she doesn't hesitate to just... be. it frees her up a little. drunk vex, however, is just... sleepy. like, once she's truly hammered, she just gets tired. and a little cuddly. it's at this point that people can catch the slightest hints of a byroden accent, where she forgets the 'g' in 'darling'. i am absolutely stealing this from this fic by @notaficwriter​ which is cute and amazing and lovely and everyone should go read it right now. drunk vax, as we see in canon, is just a silly guy. he's a funny man. he jokes and stumbles around, and loves his friends so much, and is also more likely to have conversations with his sister about love. he gets stuck in physical closets instead of metaphorical ones. he’s a dork and also an enabler of chaos

vex and vax together being drunk... is just a wild ride. in the beginning, they're sort of playing off each other, trying to see whose tolerance is better, encouraging each other to throw darts (and daggers) when they can't walk straight. but before vox machina, it was rare that they ever got drunk together. they knew the dangers of being intoxicated when they were nobodies, flitting from city to city, and if they weren't in the woods they were wrapped up in shady shit. if they got their hands on some good alcohol, they'd take their turns, and usually with trinket on watch, too. they wanted to enjoy some of the little things, but not at the risk of each other. sometimes they'll still fall into the habit with VM, starting to argue over who's the designated driver monitor for the night, before remembering, oh, we don't need to do that anymore. and then they get Plastered

8. shopping, tary & vex

tary and vex both adore shopping. in fact, it's one of their little bestie bonding activities - just heading out to shop, either in whitestone (it's still recovering, but by the time skip some of the cute little stores have definitely begun to reemerge) or in emon. they go clothes shopping and enable the shit out of each other. vex has a slowly growing collection of elaborate hair clips, one that percy eventually makes a whole cabinet for. they also hit up armories and weapon shops like mall shops - "ooo, would you just look at these arrows? oh, gods, they're so gorgeous" "vex'ahlia, you have to see this armor, oh it's so lovely-" "ooooo you have to get it!!" “oh taryon, have you seen this mace? oh it’s so darling” “oh pike would love that” “she would!” and. they’re kind of joking, but kind of not. it is so confusing to all of the shopkeepers, it's great

the thing is, though, that initially, shopping was a huge conflict between them. their original animosity really centered around money - tary flaunted it like it was nothing, expected vex not to know shit about it, and to top it all off, it wasn't even his own hard earned money. he was coasting on dad’s coattails (and, even though we learn later that his dad is a dick, i can imagine that vex was a little bitter that at least this rich fuck’s rich fuck dad actually gave him something). even after tary's false bravado has dropped and vex has taken him in as her latest stray, he still has no concept of how money works, or its value. "it's a banana! how much could it cost, a platinum piece?" kinda vibes. he has no fucking idea how to haggle, either, and it nearly causes vex to go grey early. their earliest shopping trips are doubling up as educational moments. vex is gonna help this man learn money sense if it kills her

(they occasionally bring percy along as well, since he actually loves shopping nearly as much as them, but for the most part this is a ritual that the two of them keep to themselves during the year-long break. and occasionally, post-canon, during reunions they’ll slip away for some nostalgic browsing. just to feel a little more normal)

the rest of the headcanons (zahra and vex, the de rolo babies) are under the cut because i. went insane

12. friendship, zahra & vex

ZAHRA IS ONE OF THE MOST UNDER-APPRECIATED CR CHARACTERS AND I LOVE HER FRIENDSHIP WITH VEX SO MUCH THANK YOU

okay. listen. they give off the vibes of those friends who dated for a while and broke up amicably but still are all close and would absolutely agree to a friendly hook up you know. like that’s what i do with them in a modern au. but in canon they just... they have the vibes, okay. there’s a post somewhere with a gif of vex saying she’s got a crush on zahra, and i haven’t been able to find the actual moment but i hold this so close

ANYWAY! they have the weirdest friendship. half the time, when they get together, they just... sit in a library. or a room. and just read. they don’t talk to each other for hours, and say it’s some of the best company they’ve ever had. the other half of the time, they go out and absolutely fuck up the nearest tavern. they drink people under the table and threaten a healthy amount of creepy fuckers who try and hit on them. they throw darts absolutely plastered (vex) and cast one too many inebriated spells (zahra), and are just generally a fire hazard. and, again, they say it’s some of the best company they’ve ever had. they’re wild adventurers, going hard in their celebrations in part of the job description, but they’re also nerdy little introverts who find solace in the quiet company. they also have a pair of sending stones, and will drop everything to go help when the other calls. they’re ride or die, and have each other’s backs

also, post-canon, they have a lot of meet-ups that double as play dates, because the the zahra/kashaw twins and vesper are about the same age, and i imagine those weren’t the last of the hydris kids. also, of course, zahra absolutely adores gwen - vex named the kid after her, for fuck’s sake, which brought zahra to actual tears when vex told her, because she’d had her self-worth stripped away just like vex had; she never even dreamed someone would think highly enough of her to give her name to someone so precious. so, naturally, zahra is the most called-upon babysitter once gwen is around, at least until vesper is old enough for the responsibility (although zahra still volunteers her help). she also helps gwen a lot with coming into her tiefling heritage, and helps the rest of the de rolos learn infernal, touched by how dedicated they all are to helping gwen feel included and loved

16. appearance headcanon, any de rolo baby

again. i have no self restraint. so i’m gonna do all of them. but i might cut it down to one particular trait because this post is getting out of hand

vesper: i think she’s definitely celestial plane-touched in some way, shape, or form, whether she’s an aasimar or not (and i’ve started to slip to @essayofthoughts​‘s side of this whole matter, with her not being an aasimar but still pelor-blessed), but i don’t think she was born with any visible signs of it. i think she was born with dark hair, almost vex’s color but a touch lighter, and that after some incident as a kid (or just more exposure to magic and pelor-related magic, i’m not sure) it started to grow in white. soon after, her light brown freckles gained a cluster of silver ones scattered about, catching the sun the same way vex’s golden ones do (a headcanon i will die on the hill of)

leona: her hair is an absolute bitch to maintain. not only is it frizzy, but it’s frizzy curls. as someone with frizzy curly hair (that, actually, was not curly for the first bit of my life), it can be an absolute nightmare in any sort of humidity, or if you don’t use the right hair stuff. i think it’s less of an issue than it would be, given whitestone’s location, but any time they travel to byroden - or, hell, even emon - if leo doesn’t keep it fully braided or tied up, the frizz doubles it’s size. wolfe makes so much fun of her when it happens for the first time, calling her “lion-mane leo” in the brattiest way a 12 year old can. (he would have the same problem if his hair wasn’t cut so short)

wolfe: he’s got a round lil face, simply because i think it would be adorable. also, i think he’s got pretty strong freckles - the normal kind, but darker than vesper’s normal freckles because he spends more time outside. i headcanon him as a bow user (fighter class, specifically), but despite the bow not necessarily being a strength weapon and more dexterity (looks at vex’s 7 strength), he’s worked hard to build up some muscle so he can be useful in any sort of fighting. he’s got a protective streak a mile wide - for his siblings, of course, and the rest of his family, but also for anyone who’s disadvantaged or picked on. also, he has the absolute best style out of all of the kids. he’s the best dressed for every occasion. he and vex are a force to be reckoned with

also, for both of the twins: they’re the tallest of the kids, and they’re total dicks about it. they lord it over all of rest like it’s something to brag about, even though they’re the only ones who actually give a fuck. vesper only did for a little bit, once she stopped growing and they kept on getting taller, but got over it relatively quickly. the twins, however, did not. it’s hilarious. actually, the only one who gets huffy about it is percy - they end up just a smidge taller than him, once they’ve reached their final heights (although he’s mostly just emotional that they’ve grown up so much)

vax’ildan/freddie: i keep focusing on their hair BUT... i imagine he’d grow out his hair. not as long as vax’ildan did, and it’s a lot curlier than vax’s was, but the similarity still strikes vex every now and then. it actually hits percy on occaison, too - i imagine little ludwig had curly dark brown hair, and that when it got long he would tie it back until he could be bothered to get it cut, and it looked a little similar to how freddie wears it. i also think, as freddie grows older, it becomes apparent that he inherited vex’s complexion - his skin holds a decent tan through the winter, and is sun-warm light brown in the summer, especially when he starts spending more and more time outside with charlie. eventually, he looks more like vex’s mini than vax’s (or ludwig’s), which helps with the sting of resemblance

gwen: okay so i had a dumb headcanon for her ombre hair but then i looked up ipkesh’s appearance, and he ALSO has ombre hair and red skin, so i assume she just has those features because her planal affiliation comes from the ipkesh pact. BUT i’m gonna use the headcanon anyway, so: please imagine gwen trying to dye the rest of her hair white so she matches with vesper. it’s a disaster and it’s absolutely adorable

ANYWAY ANYWAY i just. please consider gwen with a little gap between her two front teeth when the adult ones grow in. combined with the little tiefling fangs that she has. she is the cutest kid in all of whitestone and everyone knows it. also, her horns kinda confuse me a little bit - they’re small, but they seem to be in their standard adult shape. i can’t imagine the s-shaped ones can grow any longer given their shape, and horns don’t just... increase in size, so those horns would have to be fully grown despite her young age (aside from scaling up as she grows up). but she does have those lil nub horns, so my idea is that eventually those will grow a little more and curve a little more, and then finally she’ll have a third pair of shorter, basically-nub horns that grow in. i just think that would be neat and adorable, and i haven’t seen a lot of multi-horned tieflings

holy shit i wrote so much i am. so sorry

[ghouli3s]

@n1atruc asked: “We gonna fight or make out? ‘Cause I’m getting some real mixed signals here.“ ( for death, because i'm a living breathing meme and so is crowley )

the   sheer   insolence.   the   primordial   barely   reacts,   only   letting   out   the   pretense   of   an   annoyed   sigh,   hands   resting   upon   one   another,   his   white   ring   visible,   tapping   gently   over   the   table.   "You   can't   afford   me.   I   don't   mingle   so   low."   Death   speaks,   at   least   cracking   a   deadpan   joke,   bringing   the   drink   to   his   lips.   If   there   is   one   thing   he   gives   humanity   props   for,   it's   their   food.   He   could   avoid   another   plague   if   he   gets   one   good   restaurant   in   every   city.  

"And   I   would   advise   against   fighting   me,   child.   It   would   be   embarrassing   for   you."   Thunder   strikes   outside,   perhaps   too dramatic   but   he   is   good   at   making   his   point   come   across.   He   does   eventually   just   adjust   himself   on   his   seat,   looking   around   the   room;   his   reapers  are  always   hanging   around,   for   what   he   does   not   know,   because   they   are   more   at   risk   than   he   is.   "You   could   make   out   with   one   of   them.   Though   I   hardly   see   the   appeal   of   it.   I   don't   know   why   you   all   do   it."   Behave   like   humans.

[itsmykindoflove]

So, do you feel the same thing?

Genre: cute

Words: 1.051

Disclaimer: food, alcohol and kissing.

Sometimes being pressured to do something is actually a great opportunity to experience something amazing.

After hearing all the pros I would get from participating in the new “We Got Married” format from my manager and the CEO of my company, after burning neurons deciding if it would be a good thing, I ended up accepting the proposal. My biggest fear was that both fandoms would end up throwing hate at each other and at us because of the show's concept. And another big fear was that we would have our career ruined because of that. But surprising everyone, most of the public accepted and supported us as if we really were a real couple.

I had no intention of falling in love because for me, that was just another job, nothing much could happen. But when he flirted with me playfully or we talked about random things in a serious way, I felt little butterflies flutter through my stomach. I scolded myself harshly because I couldn't let myself be carried away by fictitious situations. It was an act and that was all, all to entertain people.

Our partnership had become a real friendship. We were always sending each other funny memes or we’d be on video call for hours or go for a walk every now and then at dusk, praying that no one would take a picture and publish it the wrong way. I had been missing seeing him, even if far away, for a few weeks, due to our busy schedules. And as a pretext I decided it would be a good idea to call my friends and have a little party at my apartment, obviously he and his group mates were invited.

I tried to make everyone as comfortable as possible, food and drinks were on the counter in the kitchen as people walked around the house. They stayed in the corner of the kitchen, all grouped together, drinking and talking to each other or to other artists.

From time to time, I felt his gaze on me; he was serious, which was rare. Sometimes he would talk to a friend and go back to nibbling on a snack. Not once did he take any alcoholic beverage, it was water or soda.

-What’s up? Are you having fun? -I asked as I got closer.

-Of course, you always manage to make us comfortable in the midst of so many unknown people. –his colleague said laughing and I thanked him for the compliment.

-And why are you so serious? Something happened? -I asked my old partner.

-I'm fine, just avoiding drinking. -he shook his head and I pretended to believe it. -When the party is over, I can help you clear everything, if you want.

-Please, I reckon I would stay here for hours just to put it all together. -he smiled, and I left to meet other guests.

A few hours later, the crowd was gone, leaving only them.

-Do you want us to help clean...

-No need, our friend helps her to clean everything, right? We have to go. Tomorrow I need all of you with a good voice for the recording. -one of the boys said, pushing them quickly towards the exit door.

-Oh, you can go too if you need to...

-No, no. He didn't drink like we did. So he can stay a little longer. –the same member said strangely, as if trying to hide his excitement –Anyway, good night and thanks for the party!

-No problem. -I didn't understand anything, but there was a sense of camaraderie in the air, as if they were helping each other.

Trying to ignore that strange scene, we started to clean everything up. He was always very helpful; helped me to organize everything while we laughed at the jokes we made. When we finally filled a big bag of garbage, we stopped to talk a little.

-Thank you very much for helping me. -I leaned in the same spot where they were a few hours ago. –You’re an angel.

-You don't need to say thank you. It's a pleasure to do things for you. -he said smiling and getting a little closer, facing me. I felt my cheeks heat up, not from the drink, but from our closeness.

-Um... As always you’re being cute. -I placed my hands on his cheeks and squeezed. He, in turn, placed his hands on the bench around me, leaving me nowhere to run.

My heart was beating so fast, I already knew this would happen at some point, we had already left playful clues that we felt something for each other, but I always dodged the situation and changed the subject when it got serious. More and more he made the space between us smaller, never failing to look into my eyes.

-Why didn't you drink today? –I asked.

-I'm going to tell you something and I wanted you to take me seriously. I was afraid you'd think I'm joking because I was drunk.

-I see. And what would it be?

-I'm in love with you. The time we were together on the show made me more of a fool for you than I already was.

-Your cheeks are so cute. - I laughed as I squeezed them, but once I was getting off topic intentionally. -And hot.

-I'm being serious here.

-I know, I'm sorry. – I asked. -I don't know how to deal well with these things, I feel awkward, lost, embarrassed.

-Why?

-I've never been in that situation of someone reciprocating my feelings. -I looked into his eyes. -And besides, you are so handsome, cute and affectionate. It's new to me.

Tucking my hair behind my ear, he whispered.

-So, do you feel the same thing?

I put his hands on my waist and pulled him in for a kiss. I wish I had done that in the episode where he gave me a plush animal that represented him and curiously it was my favorite animal. Breaking the kiss for air, I could see he was cuter than before. The tip of his nose and lips were red, it was impossible not to smile.

-You don't know how much I've waited for this. -I said and he kissed me again. And mentally I thanked my manager and CEO for pressuring me to accept the show's proposal.

[amazingmsme]

1D for the ask meme?

AN: So most of my obscure fandoms have a really small cast of characters so it took me a while to figure out what I was gonna write, then I rewatched Sinbad Legend of the Seven Seas which is one of my all time favorites and I just HAD to write something with my favorite threesome lol.

Sinbad would've never thought that he and Proteus would cross paths again, and certainly wouldn't expect them to remain friends. But despite their many years apart leading very different lives, they managed to fall in perfect sync with one another without missing a beat.

With the book safely returned, the kingdoms rejoiced. Proteus was insistent that Sinbad and his crew stayed for the celebration. He was reluctant at first, but he could never say no to that face. Or to free food. And if people wanted to praise him and stroke his ego all night, he might as well stick around.

He never intended to stay the night, but the hours flew by without notice. He was only a little pissed when he realized the crew had gone back to the ship without him. He couldn't really blame them, he hadn't exactly been paying them any attention and ignored their not so subtle hints that they were ready to turn in. So when Sinbad found himself alone as the party guests continued to dwindle, Proteus wandered over, Marina hanging on his arm.

"Looks like your crew left you out to dry," he teased, announcing their presence. Sinbad rolled his eyes fondly as he turned around to face them.

"Yeah, that's nothing new," he drawled, shuffling over. He was fairly tipsy- not drunk. Sinbad doesn't get drunk on fancy drinks like champagne, but he had a pleasantly warm buzz going on.

"You know, the great thing about living in a palace is that you always have a free guest room," Proteus said casually. He reached out and placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Why not stay the night? I feel like I've barely seen you since you got back."

Sinbad chuckled, leaning into the touch and grabbed his other arm. "That's because you're right. For once, I was the bell of the ball. You couldn't get me alone even if you tried," he joked.

"And believe me, I tried," Proteus shot back. They fell into comfortable banter as he lead them through winding halls. It felt as though no time had passed since they'd run around in the streets, roughhousing and playing pretend.

Sinbad paused when he saw where he had lead them. "Uh Proteus, this is your room," he bluntly pointed out.

"I see no better place for a slumber party."

"Slumber party? What are we, twelve?" he asked, though he barged right in and proceeded to make himself at home.

"I just thought we could finally catch up properly," Proteus said, following him to the bed. Marina laid down on Sinbad's other side, trapping him in the middle.

They spent the first few hours together laughing and recounting exploits on the high seas and reminiscing on the days of their youth. After the third hour, Marina tapped into the hidden stash of booze in Proteus's quarters.

"A prince who hides liquor? A bit scandalous, don't you think?" Sinbad chuckled as he opened the bottle with his teeth and took a swig.

"Oh please, you of all people should know I'm not as straight edged as I appear," he sassed, snatching the bottle and taking a few gulps.

The three of them were tangled in each others limbs as they passed the bottle around, getting drunker and merrier as the night continued. And much to Sinbad's surprise, Marina was a very handsy drunk. Proteus was more gentle with lingering touches that just barely grazed his skin, but Marina was practically ravenous.

She kissed down his neck, one leg thrown over his waist and resting in her fiancé's lap as her hands roamed Sinbad's scarred torso, pressing into his side and raking over his ribs. His breath hitched and he flinched violently under his touch.

Marina recognized the reaction from the countless times she'd turned Proteus into a laughing, breathless mess. She smirked against his neck, curling her fingers against his waist and relished in the gasp she got in return.

Proteus caught Sinbad's gaze and flashed him a devilish grin. He glared at him from over Marina's shoulder and mouthed 'don't you dare.'

"Carefulthere darling, Sinbad's rather sensitive," he cooed, reaching over to squeeze his knee. He jerked his leg away, having to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent an embarrassing squeal from escaping. Marina's eyes lit up with excitement and mischief.

"Oh don't tell me the fearless Sinbad is ticklish," she purred, studying his expression carefully. Sinbad's brows shot up to meet his hairline and a faint blush dusted his cheeks before he could school his features.

"Pft, what? Me, ticklish? That's silly, of course I'm- noho!" His cool and collected dismissal immediately fell flat on his tongue as Proteus latched onto his hip and squeezed.

"Sorry, but there'll be no lying your way out of this one," he said as he brought his other hand around to grab ahold of his other hip. Sinbad bucked wildly under the touch, one hand immediately flying up to his mouth to conceal his laughter while the other grappled to shove prying hands away.

Marina watched with joy and admiration, giggling as the two men wrestled on the bed. Sinbad scrambled to get away, and he was almost successful, but Proteus grabbed his ankles and drug him back to face his demise. Sinbad held his arms out defensively, eyes glued to his friend's hands. He wore a nervous grin and flinched at the slightest movements, much to the others' amusement.

"As crazy as it sounds, he's actually quite ticklish, though he'd love for you to believe otherwise," he mused and motioned for Marina to join them.  She crawled over with a wicked smile like a lion stalking it's prey. Sinbad whined and squirmed in a feeble attempt at escape. She ran a soothing hand through his hair to calm him as she raised his arms, pinning them under her legs.

"I don't think it's all that crazy. I mean, just look at him. He was practically made to be wrecked," Marina cooed, cupping his face with one hand and squeezing his cheeks. He blushed and jerked away from her grasp.

"Excuse me? The hell does that mean?" he asked indignantly.

"Oh relax, it's a compliment."

"Yeah but I really don't like that tone."

"Oh please, you love it," she sassed.

"Almost as much as you love what's about to happen."

"Proteus!" Sinbad scolded, cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

"What? She'd catch on pretty quick anyways, it's not like you're very good at hiding it," he teased.

"...You don't know that," he said weakly, looking away with a pout.

"Oh but he does," Marina said, dragging her nails down his arms making him shudder. "Besides, I think it's adorable."

Sinbad snapped his head up to look at her. "News flash: pirates aren't supposed to be adorable!"

"Well you aaaare," she sang, fluttering her fingers  in his exposed pits. He clamped his mouth shut and grunted as he fought against the mirth building up inside his lungs. Proteus gave an amused huff.

"Don't tell me you're trying to pull that tough guy routine. You know it won't work," he pointed out. He leaned in to speak directly in his ear, hot breath ghosting over sensitive skin, sending goosebumps down his arms and legs. "Especially when I know exactly what makes you tick."

Sinbad wanted to give a smart ass retort- to say that he didn't know jack shit, but all coherent thought flew out the window when he felt clawed hands latch onto his knees.

He was in for a long night, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

[tremendouskoalachild]

list of everything i didn't like about avatar: the way of water

(sorry avatar head mutuals, love you guys but i have very little positive to say about it)

(this is just me venting because i have Thoughts in my head and nobody i know irl has seen it. i wanna enter the new year with a cleansed mind i guess)

(for context i saw it because i had an opportunity to see it for free and went, fuck it. i am not a fan of the first film and haven't seen it since 2010. i also do not vibe with james cameron movies in general)

ruins the any day now meme by actually coming out :(

is an hour longer than it needs to be and two hours longer than it should be. i get that it's about the experience and all but pretty blue people admiring majestic creatures does, in fact, get old eventually

james cameron can't help himself i guess. the amount of underwater exploration scenes is borderline masturbatory, not to mention the whole finale taking place on a sinking ship

please tell me they didn't use the actual papyrus font for the subtitles. idk how noticeable it is in the original but watching the film subtitled is painful until you get desensitized to it

colonialism is apparently not enough to make us root against the humans. no we gotta show them gleefully murder a space whale momma (who composes music 🥺🥺) and her baby

the fact that the destruction of nature is treated as more heinous than the attempted genocide of the na'vi (who are pretty transparently stand ins for native americans) is to be expected from the franchise... i still hate it though.

bad guy lady disappears like midway through. and i had such high hopes for her after she was shown using her mech suit arm to drink coffee. slay queen

for such a ruthless piece of shit (affectionate) the main bad guy doesn't know what to do with a hostage. buddy you could have ended the fight like four separate times. you even had redundancy because they always manage to capture several kids at once 😭

the character accused by every video essayist alive of being a white savior wears dreadlocks now. idk kinda tone deaf if you ask me

the decision to just have the Na'vi speak english is cowardly as fuck. didn't you guys make a fully functional conlang for the first movie??

it also makes it more difficlut to tell what language is being spoken in various scenes. literally what is going on and who understands whom

neytiri was done dirty. barely present most of the film and underdeveloped.

even though the original movie apparently fucked over the hired composers i can't deny that its music fucked. can't remember a single melody from the sequel though

main villain being able to commune with nature without any self-reflection sucks ass. you could say he just subdued the flying thing through it comes back later and is apparently loyal so what was that

the spider situation is really weird. his adopted family don't really seem to care about his abduction much (was jake sully being more literal than i realized when he called spider basically the family's stray cat?? idk neytiri sure doesn't seem to give a fuck about him). the weirder thing though is how he is not restrained or even really supervised while captured despite being open about his loyalties

not to out myself as a space racist but i couldn't tell the two brothers apart until like halfway through at which point one got a lot more spotlight and it became clear the other was done for. rip son number 2 i literally don't remember your name

does this decanonize the avatar theme park 🥺 (this is a joke. all i know about the park is from that one jenny nicholson video and the lore does not seem all that good)

the love interest girl's character is said like once or twice in the whole movie. i was listening for it since i was crushing on her (because neytiri is barely in the movie)

there are multiple instances of a boat being thrown into the air and none of them look real

i swear they say "four fingers" when they mean five at some point. yeah i'm reaching here

the plot is paper thin and so many of the situations are incredibly basic

[wackyrumble]

Mort v.s. Sin Kiske

Mort - All Hail King Julien

Mort, despite appearances, is an incredibly old interdimensional being who has been married 12 times and has grandchildren. He's part starfish and has grown his head back once. Mort has the ability to absorb souls, including versions of himself and his grandma. He also has a foot fetish. Read an ABSURD amount more about Mort below.

Sin Kiske - Guilty Gear Series

Sin, also despite appearances, is a five year old. Sin was raised by a bounty hunter who once told him "go wave a flag or something" which is why he fights with a flag. He's proud of beginning learning multiplication, but oblivious to things like what arithmetic is or how babies are made. Befriended an aspiring world destroyer by giving her a burger and a puppy. Read more about Sin below.

Full description of Mort:

"I doubt I'm the only one submitting him because it has become a meme but I might be the only one who has seen the entire show many many times so I will give a full rundown about the pure beautiful insanity that is AHKJ Mort.

Ok so I'll give the context for how he came to be the way he is. In the movie Madagascar there is a joke about Mort being too close to King Julien's feet. In that scene it is framed that King Julien just doesn't like Mort. But the show The Penguins of Madagascar (TPOM) took that joke and made an episode called Two Feet High and Rising about how Mort loves King Julien's feet and is exiled for not being able to stop himself from touching them. Pretty weird stuff but it's nothing compared to what comes later. For the rest of TPOM Mort loving King Julien's feet is a constant thing. It's like his main characteristic and you almost forget how weird it is. It's just like yeah that's Mort he loves feet *shrug* But other than that he's like a little kid and is generally cute. But now we get to All Hail King Julien and OH BOY things go insane in that show in the best ways. I'll probably submit multiple characters from it just because there's so much weird there.

So here's the meat of this essay I'm apparently writing here, the weird of AHKJ Mort.

He is a interdimensional being capable of absorbing alternate versions of himself. Those versions of himself are able to talk to him as voices in his head which he sometimes sees as appearing in front of him. The inside of his mind is a bunch of hallways with those versions running around and they are capable of taking control of him in various situations. When he drinks coffee Smart Mort takes over. When he drinks Tea Hippie Mort takes over and at one point Political Mort beats up the other Morts inside his head to take control so he could win the election for Prime Minister of Mangos. He also absorbed his grandmother and didn't remember doing that. In the actual show he absorbed his grandfather who tried to convince him to kill King Julien because King Juliens great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather locked him up when Mort was a baby. Oh and that gets into the age thing. Yeah Mort is absurdly old and it's a running joke that he looks like a kid but is actually very old. There was also an alternate version of him called Morticus Khan who was the leader of the Mort Horde and Mort defeated him by absorbing his essence. At one point he states that he had been married 12 times and most of his wives died of old age. He also says at one point that he hasn't laid an egg in 40 years and even then the thing he hatched was really gross. Another time he mentions having grandchildren and when Maurice asks "You have grandchildren" he shoots webs out of his wrists and shouts "WHAT!? Did they escape? Don't let them find me!". Yeah we are still talking about the cute little lemur from Madagascar. There's also a scene where he finds a wardrobe that leads into the real world and it goes live action for a few seconds before he turns around and goes back. He also tried to murder a dude for a while. This other kingdom took over and Mort tries to shoot him with a crossbow, poison him and crush him with a rock. None of these attempts are successful. He also seriously disfigures a character named Rob McTodd who had had too much plastic surgery done (yes this is a real plotline for the lemur characters lol) Mort jumped on his face and messed it up and then he comes back in a phantom of the opera storyline. He also mentions at one point that he's part starfish and grew his head back once.

So that's how having a foot fetish is somehow no longer the weirdest thing about this character. That's still a thing too though. He had a box that he said he's going to put King Julien's feet inside when he dies. They played real life Monopoly and was winning so much that everyone else was starving and he tried to use having all the money to extort King Julien into letting him go on a date with his foot. (It was like a candlelit table with Mort on one and and Julien's foot up on a pillow at the other end. Julien immediately changed his mine and left lol)

Now I wanna go on about how exactly we got here lol. The whole absorbing thing started with Smart Mort. The idea that he got smart when he drank coffee was established at the end of season 1. Then in season 2 episode 4 Pineapple of my Eye King Julien is weirdly obsessed with a pineapple because he thinks it has the souls of his ancestors inside. Mort is seeing it speak to him and mock him as well as other voices in his head including a weirdly aggressive violent one who wants to burn the kingdom to the ground. The idea of him being way older is first just when King Julien kicks him and people think he kicked a baby and he says "That wasn't a baby it was an annoying little weirdo" but the first time it's more of a real thing is in an episode where King Julien wants a son so Mort paints his tail striped and pretends and King Julien seems convinced by it and is like super into it. And then at the end Mort confesses and King Julien already knew and said "It's Mort I mean come on he could be my father!" and so then in another episode he calls another character Hector whos whole thing is that he's a grumpy old war veteran "grandpa" mockingly and Hector says "You're older than I am Mort" The voices thing also continues and goes from just being Mort moving back and forth into different positions when the voices talk to actually seeing multiple Morts on screen talk to each other and then we get the whole Morticus Khan and the Mort Horde thing which is where the absorbing souls thing is revealed. And then he goes into his own mind and meets his grandmother who reveals that he absorbed her and then all the the stuff about the 12 wives and the laying an egg and the grandchildren are from the last season when we've reached maximum crazy mode.

That's how this show works with basically everything. There will be a joke or a plot of an episode which is a little weird. It gets called back and becomes a little weirder. It then becomes a running joke and then gets weirder and weirder every time it comes back. I love this show so much. I know this got a little redundant but I love explaining how this all built up over the show with how they kept adding those weirdness layers as it went lol I mostly wrote all this from memory except to get the number of greats that Mort's grandpa said correct shakfdsahflk I have seen this show too many times

If you hadn't seen any of the memeing about Mort's wikipedia page and so this is all news to you I hope reading this was fun for you lol"

Full description of Sin:

“sin is currently 5 years old but due to some funky science called gear cells in his body he got from his mom, he looks like hes physically in his 20s. He wasn't raised by his parents and was raised by this bounty hunter, sol badguy, that his dad knew who turns out to have secretly been his grandpa the whole time. Due to being raised by sol, his knowledge is kinda not very good. he takes pride in the fact that hes starting to learn his multiplication tables but doesnt know what arythmetic is or where babies come from. he had his one eye removed when he was a child because he had this really wild power and that apparently removing his eye tamped his power down. he fights with a flagpole because sol told him to 'go wave a flag or something' once. He made friends with an artificially created human whose main goal was to destroy the world, and he did this by giving her a puppy and a burger.”

[thepoetfrommars]

What were you waiting? A sign or something else? I guess I was a bit slow, but that's just how I am.

I always knew you cherished our moments. I just wanted your confirmation. It's a conversation between us, and we are damn awful liars lol. It's fair I guess, i was scraping for hope at anything I could get. But oh well, it didn't work out, so past is just the past.

With this mask of nihilism off I'll tell you what I think: happiness without you is not complete, but I'm trying, and that's my thing. I'll never be perfect and that's just how it is, but I'll work on doing something cause that's all I can achieve. You can count on me with all of your endeavors, it'll be hard for me not to fall in love again, but hey, that's a risk I'm willing to take. It doesn't pain me anymore, after all the world has changed. This is a bit too confusing isn't it? So let's go to the next.

(ive always been a sucker for the cheesy stuff lol)

It's a thing we have in common lol, the difference it's just the act. I wanted to see you really badly, but it hurt so bad to see your smile and know it's not mine anymore that i just couldn't afford it. Now and then I still heard your name (Brasília is a really small place) those moments I stopped and listened, finding out you were happy gave me a sense of peace. (Told you I'm a sucker for the cheesy stuff lol) .

My moon, on that we are equal. Life can change but I'll always love you. Through cloudy skies above or the sun shining over you. You're not the star, youre my moon. Elegant, beautiful, perfect in your own way. Being apart it's a pain, but it's one I'm comfortable with. One which I will learn to deal with. And I'm fine, really. So stop worrying and drink some water lol, don't make me another task on your life.

I can't ingore my moon, not for long anyways. At least once a month she's full above the sky peeking through my window. You can be needy, after all the love is yours. You just have to ask for it.

How you've been doing?

- I'm fine. Working on myself. Looking for work, studying what I wanted, going through life. And you? How've you been? Has life been treating you right?

What happened to you all this time?

- a lot. Life is a bitch and she is a really naggy one lol. But yeah, family got smaller, my grandpa and great grandma have passed, so we're dealing with it. Of course I passed uni, but thinking on where should I really do it. A lot happened, and a lot is happening. But hey, I'm still alive right? Lol

How's the rpg? (Real important, I miss it)

- it's going well. We paused that campaign but before it we made some adjustments to the whole story and shit. Ennon hung up the sword and is now dating that bartender he flirted a while back. They have a daughter, so that's that. We're going to continue it after a couple months, "another story" per say. I'm the only one with a new character lol.

How's your uni?

It's hard lol. For me that is. It's complex and my teachers are not that good. But it doesn't help I'm going through meds and life itself. But it's good besides that. It's more than what I dreamed of. Which is a good thing lol.

I noticed you really like ocean animals and such, do you consider going to USP? You could try, idk if it's a thing for you tho

- Ive bern looking for stuff, but I'll probably go out of the country to study. If not a degree than my specialization on marine animals. (Cetaceans that is lol)

Are you happy? No need to lie

- not yet. Been working on it. But... Oh well... You're a psychologist, you'll analyse me and see if I'm happy or not lol.

Would you like to go on a date? Lol I really want to give you your stuff tho, it's been here for like, 3 years now

- i would be delighted to go on a date lol, just set the date.

"As always, it's kinda of a mess"

Don't know if I responded, don't know what's going through your mind, but I'm always open. A shoulder to cry on, a person to tell a joke to, someone to share memes, anything really. It's all open to you.

Not a poem, just a couple thoughts

Sorry, i just woke up from a nice dream and wanted to write this lol

But hey, i guess I got the message across.

Responding in a poem seems a bit bad, so here's my proper response.

- From yours one and only, Milan.

(ps: i never had a tag lol, it's just me being childish as ever)

[warsinmyhead]

💋 from felix

x | meme status: accepting!

"I see red hair coming back," Steve commented in passing.

The comment made Minho jerk his head up from the computer screen and he looked up at the older Avenger. The former raised a hand to his head and he quickly threaded his fingers through his hair. For a while it had been platinum blonde, but as the remaining Avengers tried to regroup after Thanos snapped most of the world out of existence, his red started to come back. His hair wasn't long enough yet to cut off the blonde, but he planned to clean things up once his hair was a little longer.

"About time," Minho murmured. "Never thought I'd miss my red, but I did. Last time I did a color change was when I was 12."

Steve paused on his way to the kitchen and chuckled as he tried to picture the former spy with a different hair color as a kid. "Also blonde?"

Minho shook his head no and he shared that it was blue. "Well it looked green blue to some people. I don't think I left the dye in long enough, but it was the 90s and dye wasn't exactly the best when you bought it from the drugstore."

The older Avenger crossed his arms over his chest and tried to imagine the spy with blue hair. He chuckled and shook his head, murmuring that the whole rainbow hair colors concept was still new to him. "You can call me old for remembering this," he began, "but I remember when salon red hair was shocking. Perms were sold in boxes but weren't the best, compared to going to a real salon. Pretty sure salons were glad they had control over the hair color business because it was really tricky to do by yourself back then." He nodded at the computer Minho was on and asked what was new.

Before Minho could respond, he saw Felix emerge from the kitchen with two mugs.

The silver haired male flashed Steve a polite smile before putting one mug down in front of Minho.

The spy turned his head to thank the other for the hot beverage, but was surprised when he received a quick peck on the lips from Felix.

The older Avenger decided to excuse himself to prepare food for himself and Felix plunked himself down in the chair next to Minho's.

"Thanks for the drink," Minho said. "What was the kiss for?"

Felix had his mug raised to his lips and he shrugged, trying to look casual.

This made Minho snort and he shook his head at the young man. "I didn't date Steve if that's what that was about."

"Oh I never assumed you did," Felix remarked as he moved his mug from his lips, "but I heard you guys kissed while on the run from Rumlow."

"It was his idea! Rumlow didn't pay any attention to us and we got out of the mall without shots being fired," Steve called out from the kitchen.

"Thanks Steve, apparently Felix is experiencing first Avenger jealousy and needs to be reminded that we're a team, especially in this situation," Minho added with a wiry smile.

The comment earned a chuckle from Steve and Felix sputtered as he looked at Minho, then the kitchen area.

"Hey!"

"Jokes aside, I was about to conference in Carol, Okoye, Rhodey, and the weird talking raccoon thing," Minho sighed as he began queuing up for a call on the channel he created for any disturbances and strange things happening all over.

"I'll keep it down in the kitchen," Steve promised.

"Talking raccoon?" Felix piped up, looking interested.

"It's not the cute animatronic you find at Disneyland..." Minho warned before he pressed the button to start the call.

[godsandtorrance]

Loneliness

One of the main things in my life that I struggle with, and that I don't think gets talked about enough, is loneliness.

I'm at the ripe age of 23. I'm at the prime-time where friendships, particularly female friendships, should be the highlight of my life right now. I should be going out drinking (or a different meet-up activity, as I don't actually drink or like risking going out at night in this currant climate), sending memes and inside jokes to the group chat, checking in on a group of women my own age who do the same for me.

But I don't. I have a best friend, but due being busy and other life issues, we don't talk like we used to. Aside from her, there really is no other friend. My colleagues are all older than me, at a completely different life stage, and the only colleague my own age has her own friends who appear to not match my own lifestyle.

I used to have a friend group - five or so girls in my teen years who I went to school with. We would hang out all the time, message each other constantly - not necessarily relatable to adults but still a nice little social and fun group I could rely on.

Naturally, we grew apart as we got older. They changed and went out partying, while I, at the time, was isolated due to my mental health troubles, and I don't like alcohol (as established). Unfortunately, in hindsight I realised it wasn't really a good group of friends. I was very weird (annoyingly so, but I refuse to even entertain the thoughts of my irritating, not-self-aware younger self), and it was obvious, looking back, that they mostly tolerated me, and often left me out of things.

It was also, considering we were a group of hormonal teens, pretty toxic at times too, but I'm happy to say I, at least, have grown up a lot since then and can put that kind of behaviour behind me.

University was a struggle too. As a highly socially anxious young adult, following my stressful few years of intense mental health issues, I really found it difficult to open up to people. In lessons, I'd remain as quiet as possible; I didn't start conversations or join in; I tried a few societies but they just weren't the right fit for me - or maybe I didn't give them enough of a chance.

It took lockdown, a time for reflection for myself and my personal struggles, to see that I was lonely and I wasn't helping myself. I didn't try enough to join in and make the effort - and I couldn't expect other people to always do so first, especially if I gave off the blank-faced, unapproachable (but secretly fearful of looking stupid) vibe.

When I went to university again for my masters degree, I made far more of an effort - I chatted and instigated conversation, said yes to certain meet-ups and really pushed myself to being open and friendly. It didn't get too far, as many in the year-long course had their own friends, and I wasn't entirely perfect at being the right social person, but I knew I could do it. Practice, after all, makes perfect.

Now that I've started work, and I'm steadily trying to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life (more on that another time), I'm gradually trying to let myself be open to any opportunities, conversation, anything.

But it's hard. Seeing people on social media in their tight-knit groups makes me feel like I'm the problem. It feels like I'm the only person in the world incapable of - and undeserving - of friendships. As much as I know social media is a facade at times, there's no denying that there are truly beautiful friendships out there.

However, I use this as something to hold on to, and something to hope for. Knowing that great friendships exist is wonderful, and it's special to know that when the right time comes along, I will meet the right people I click with. I wouldn't want to force any kind of connection, as in my experience trying too hard doesn't work and it's just emotionally exhausting.

Without trying to sound ridiculously over-positive (I can't stand the high-key promotions of being 'happy happy happy!' that saturate social media, it's just not possible to be as joyful as a Cbeebies programme all the time), there is a blessing to having minimal friends. I get to work on the most important friendships I have - the one with myself.

Disgustingly saccharine, I know, but I've spent the past few years working on my mental health issues and actually working through CBT, getting two degrees and simply enjoying the small things. I love being creative, I adore films, I'm a huge reader. The introvert in me gets to enjoy the comfort of staying in and working on my private hobbies.

Of course I want to branch out still - there's such a thing as getting too comfortable in solitude, especially as someone who clearly still misses frequent socialising - but in the meantime I can focus on myself and the activities that bring me joy.

Early twenties are complicated, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do. I don't see myself sticking to this job forever, or putting down roots in my home for too long, so I need this quiet time to work it out, find the right career for me and just let things progress naturally.

It's time I start being kinder to myself, and I'm not going to get that self-respect, self-esteem or self-love from other people. Tying my worth into other people - whether they're in my life as my friends or not - only ends badly, as I've learnt before.

Loneliness doesn't mean failure, or that I suck as a person, or that this is going to be my future. It just means my life is a little bit more quiet right now, and I have all this time to look after myself.

If you're like me, feeling completely isolated in your loneliness like you're the only young adult struggling, you're definitely not alone. It's rarely talked about, but that doesn't mean other lacking-in-friends people aren't out there. We're just don't shout about it, and we're probably socially awkward introverts too.