#this is a parody of a painting titled fallen age

[allimelia]

The Fallen Perch

[slamsams-blog]

For Your Eyes Only - #24WeeksofBond

This week we travel back in time to 1981 with “For Your Eyes Only” - also could be known as “When Bond Came Back to Earth”.  Roger Moore’s films had been getting a little cartoony and comical, and then they put Bond in space with “Moonraker”, essentially jumping the shark.  They had taken Bond as far as they could take him, and now they needed to bring the series back down to earth and give it a fresh coat of paint.  “For Your Eyes Only” is a story of two governments vying for the same prize while also being a tale of revenge.  This movie has its moments, and plenty of layers - but in my view, just misses the mark on excitement.

Roger Moore is back in the saddle of Bond, only because they couldn’t find a replacement.  Moore was having his reservations about playing the role due to his age, and after his original contract expired after “The Spy Who Loved Me”, Moore signed a film by film deal, where there were essentially no strings attached.  If they felt that they needed Moore, and if Moore wanted another payday, then we got Moore Bond. (see what I did there?). You definitely start seeing Moore’s age more noticeably starting with this movie - but he’s still not “A View To A Kill” old yet so we are still in the clear. 

What I do like is how they used his age here.  After meeting a young olympic skater in training, she starts smitten with Bond right away, and Moore plays the uncomfortable and awkwardness perfectly.  Moore was an excellent eye actor.  His ability to clue you in on Bond’s inner thoughts by acting with his eyes is something I’ve always appreciated with Roger’s movies.  As they say in comedy, less is Moore...(ok, I’ll stop).  But one of my favorite moments in this film is when the skater Bibi (Lynn-Holly Johnson) is in Moore’s bed inviting him for some good times, Bond says in such a Roger Moore way - “Yes well, you get your clothes on...and I’ll buy you an ice cream.”  That line makes me chuckle literally every time.

Let’s talk about this pre-title sequence shall we?  In one of the more memorable scenes in this rather un-memorable movie is the opening.  Lots to unpack here.  We open up with Bond at Teresa Bond’s grave, his one and only true love.  This is again, one of the rare through lines throughout this franchise.  We know how Bond’s parents died when he was a kid, we know SPECTRE, and we know Bond’s wife was killed.  So here we are with Bond Moore-ning his late wife...(that was the last one).  He is told that MI6 is coming to get him via helicopter.  Bond gets in only for the helicopter to be hijacked by a familiar bald head.  Blofeld makes a random appearance here after not being seen or heard from since “Diamonds are Forever”.  I always found this odd.  But anyway, Blofeld takes over the helicopter by remote control to have some fun at Bond’s expense.  But Bond manages to get to the driver’s seat after hanging on to the side of the chopper as Blofeld is trying to knock him off.  It’s a wonderfully intense scene.

Bond gets to the driver seat, and this is where Blofeld always manages to muck it up.  This is why Blofeld never took care of Bond, because he lets him GET TO THE DAMN DRIVER’S SEAT!  Bond takes control and scoops up Blofeld (who is in a wheel chair with a neck brace for some unknown reason) and dumps him down a huge chimney.  Now story has it, they were not legally able to use Blofeld and SPECTRE anymore because Kevin Mclory (the Thunderball producer who you can read about in my Thunderball blog) owned the rights to them because of his legal victory in obtaining the rights of the Thunderball story.  How annoying is that?  So they never say his name, and this scene was meant to be a statement to Mr. Mclory that they didn’t need those characters anymore and that they were literally dumping them.

I thought maybe this time around, I would discover a connection between that scene and the rest of the film...but no.  That opening is humorous and action packed, but it’s all for nought because it has nothing to do with anything.  The real story begins with a naval fleet that has an “ATAC” being attacked by an unknown source.  This ATAC is an important control unit that is able to fire ballistic missiles where ever you want.  If fallen into the wrong hands, it could be a disaster.  Of course Russia is involved, and they are trying to get it along with England.  

But another layer to the story is that a man in Greece, who was contacted by MI6 to get it, is gunned down with his wife in front of their daughter who ends up being Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet).  They really had an opportunity here with Melina.  She had a dark, and dangerous look and strapped her with a crossbow after she witnessed her parents die.  These were the ingredients for a DC Comics type superhero.  I think they wanted to make her full Green Arrow, but were maybe afraid to go too far away from the damsel in distress type that Bond girls had a reputation for.  She has these moments where she attacks from the shadows, but still cries for James when she’s in trouble.  The balance is just off, and it makes the character weaker than she should be.  Not Carole’s fault, just poor writing.

Bond goes to Greece where he meets Kristatos (Julian Glover) who tells him the man who payed off the guy who killed Melina’s father was is working for a man named Columbo (Topol).  So Bond starts to dig more, but keeps getting hunted down by men trying to stop him from the truth.  Almost everyone Bond comes into contact with in this film ends up dead.  Something is going on and Bond is forced to have eyes in the back of his head.  We get some fun scenes along the way here with a car chase where Bond is driving a ragged Beetle, and a fun ski chase with awesome “Shaft” style music.

Bond kills Locgue (the man who payed the parent assasin) and is now on the hunt for Columbo.  This movie is like a video game where there are all these different levels, and every level has a boss.  Bond is now ready for the “big boss”; the Bowser or Gannon, if you will.

But Columbo finds him and convinces Bond that Kristatos is the real Bowser.  Topol is great in this movie, he was primarily known for his broadway career, but he is able to bring all that charm to the screen and does a wonderful job of making you love him.  Bond and Columbo are now working together and they go to infiltrate Kristato’s lair.  This scene also gives me the willy’s.  Bond has to be an epic mountain climber, but gets caught and kicked off.  We see Bond free falling like Tom Petty until his rope catches him.  That’s the stuff of nightmares there.  

Anyway, they storm the castle, kill Kristatos, and destroy the ATAC so nobody has it.  Leaving no country to worry about them using it against any other country. Yay.  Feels like a pretty hollow accomplishment at the end.  But at least we get a funny parody of Margaret Thatcher speaking to a parrot who she thinks is Bond.  Not sure how accurate the parody was back then, but I’m sure it got roars of laughter?

To me, while we have a decent amount of action like the yacht scene where Kristatos is pulling Bond and Melina through the shark filled waters - the film falls short of any color what so ever.  This movie is littered with forgettable characters and villains that don’t leave you as the viewer feeling invested.  And while the plot may be deep and layered, the execution of it is just sleepy and un inspired.  This sort of begins the twilight of the Moore Bond films, and little did the producers know that they would get two more films out of him.

Well that’s it for me this week.  What did you all think?  Let me hear you!

Reviews from Friends:

Jake Benrud

The Blofeld scene is comical. He could have killed Bond so much easier than that. His downfall is he lets him get out of his sight and assume it all goes according to plan. I guess that's the story with any Bond Villain. Similar to Dr. Evil's, "I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?" This one I don't understand why the Olympic skater was infatuated with Bond. He's so old in this one. Also, that's possibly the worst car anti-theft system ever.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

The Man With the Golden Gun