#this is a treat for anyone who knows me from high school im sure

[canismajorly]

when I was a very impressionable, socially stunted and nerdy gay 14 year old, my high school drama club put on a production of dracula, and I had never read it. i was in the crew, and mostly just sat around the auditorium and watched them rehearse. all the main roles were played by a friend group who had incredibly fun to watch chemistry off stage. the Dracula was this very very VERY tall person with long hair who was in my chorus class and insisted on singing soprano from time to time despite naturally being a bass (... estrogen when, queen?). the Johnathan was this short Flynn-Rider-from-Rapunzel-looking twink who was (in my mind) fought after by women around him. the Jonathan and the Dracula intentionally made their interactions extra homoerotic (I overheard them talking to the English teacher director about it one day) and would spend off time at rehearsal trying to do the dirty dancing "time of my life" lift. because I was 14, I unironically shipped them. the Mina was so beautiful and had a face that, imo, would be cast in one of those terrible BBC/netflix period dramas now. she had been friends with the other two since before I started high school. because I was a polyamorous 14 year old, I also shipped the Jonathan with the Mina. i had a crush on the person who played Lucy in the cast since middle school, they were my age but so cool and likeable they melted into the older drama kid friend circle effortlessly. i had some interesting emotions about the scene where Lucy is covered in blood in a wedding dress. during the final cast and crew party, the Dracula threw a chocolate flower into the group and I caught it then proceeded to hold onto it for years after. then they all graduated, besides the Lucy. anyway, those are the versions of all the characters that live in my head when I read my Dracula daily.

[drunkenkissesatdusk]

Can u maybe do like a Damian wayne x reader where they're friends and all but sometimes they (reader) tends to zone out a lot and think abt a lot of deep ish things that cause her to make weird faces without even realizing? Like she's much more quieter than usual and when he turns to look at her, he sees that she's visibly very upset but for seemingly no reason.

Oh, and if u want angst, maybe the specific thing she's thinking abt has something to do with him so she's really annoyed and snappy when he asks her what's wrong? Like she's be thinking abt how rude guys in their school are and then it kinda reminds her of Damian. Idk🙈🙉

(*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ

am i good at angst? no… will i try? absolutely.

NOT YOUR FAULT.

pairings — damian wayne - al ghul x reader (platonic)

warnings — i tried to write angst but gave up, that’s all (and the ending sucks that’s not my fault (it is))

summary — pretty much what the request is gangsters

notes — i don’t know how to write angst 😞

━━━━━━━ YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN THE SIGNS before it was too late. you were sleeping more, food was suddenly too plain, you were easy to irritate, and you felt like you couldn’t do anything.

but, of course, you hadn’t understood when they began, you just blamed it on stress, since you had tons of tests coming up that you were relentlessly studying.

at some point, your grades had started slipping, and your teachers didn’t miss that. you were forgetting to turn in assignments, and whenever you suddenly couldn’t sleep the night before, you started falling asleep in class.

multiple teachers had brought it up after class with you, and you were able to come up with excuse after excuse.

eventually, Damian noticed. Damian, one of the only kids who didn’t ignore you this year, your first year of high school. but, obviously, that wasn’t always the case. Damian had originally been mean, tormenting you alongside all his other friends.

Damian only noticed because of your lack of emotions throughout the time you’d spend with him. on top of that, said time was clearly dwindling.

“hey, hey.” Damian called after you, catching up soon after and walking with you outside, far enough away from other kids so that the two of you could talk without anyone being nosy.

“what’s going on? you’ve been acting weird the past few days.” Damian’s face was clearly concerned, which irritated you further.

sure, you’d been quieter recently, and you almost always had a sour look on your face, but why would he bring it up?

“nothing, im fine.” you defensively crossed your arms over your chest — also doing so for a little bit of extra comfort as Damian seemed to be interrogating you.

“bullshit. talk to me, i’m your friend.” Damian stared at you, face full of worry.

“nothing.” you reiterated, “i said i’m fine, Damian. i’m fine.” you put emphasis on your words.

“you’re not a good liar.” he stated.

“like you even care.” you scoffed, turning on your heel and walking away. you found semblance in the school library, in the back of the room where you doubted anyone would go looking for you in.

with the silence of the room suddenly hitting you, your guard was up and your eyes were relentlessly looking around.

you probably looked angry. if anyone were to look at you, they’d probably think you were pissed off. were you? yeah, probably. why were you mad? you had no clue.

inhaling carefully, you felt your body begin to unwind, your heart rate slowly slowed.

guilt and regret flooded your system. you could then remember the way you’d treated Damian.

he was truthfully your only friend, he hadn’t deserved that.

i’m sorry, you sent the message. i didn’t mean to be so rude, you sent afterwards. he read the messages almost instantly.

it’s fine, not ur fault, he sent back.

sleepover at mine? you asked him, gathering yourself again before making your way to your next class. he agreed, and the day went on swimmingly.

the sleepover was practically the same, nothing bad happened, and it was easier to talk about it with him.

masterlist — reminder that asks / requests are open!!

[kwonkioz]

. . . brave and nerd | jeon wonwoo x reader (jo shin-yeol) x kim mingyu

part one

𐙚 I thanked my mom for putting the mixed toast in front of me, she smiled at me and then proceeded to put the dishes in the machine.

After taking a bite, I looked at her, "Mom, do you know anything about that Park twins' family?"

His brows furrowed, "I wouldn't say they're very nice people. I know their mother from the association, she is a woman with her nose in the air. Why did you ask?"

"The twins finished second and third. I found it strange when a friend of mine worked hard but came in fourth. It's not normal for them to get such high marks when even I was surprised that I got the first place."

"Mrs. Park must have paid a bribe, she doesn't want her children to be."

"Our school is not a place to accept bribes, Mom, that's why I couldn't be sure."

He turned to me, "Shin-yeol, there's nothing money can't buy. How do you think the twins ended up in your class?"

My eyebrows flew up in surprise, "Really?! O... I guessed it. People blame me, but almost everyone is torpedoed except us!"

"Is anyone still treating you the same?"

I shook my head, "They don't say it publicly anymore."

Except for one person...

He's doing it on purpose to break my heart.

After my toast was finished, I grabbed my bag and left the house. I arrived at the school in a short time by bicycle. Some people said I was a sucker for cycling to school even though we had a driver, and some of them would never shut up. But I was living my way. Yes, there are times when I use my mother's respect, but I do it without putting it in anyone's eye.

Here, everyone sees it as it suits them. I'm used to it.

After entering the classroom and taking my seat, I sighed deeply and watched the surroundings. Everyone had a group of friends or a friend. And the queue next to everyone else was full. The part of me was empty, funny...

A girl named Cho Miyeon used to sit next to me, but when she became close friends with another girl, she started to sit next to her, and this row was empty like this. Strangely enough, I didn't really have any friends. I don't have the number of anyone in this class in my phone book, except for Wonwoo. I had already bought it secretly.

Speaking of Wonwoo; He was back in the front row, quietly taking a test. It was the biggest void in my life. I don't know how my only goal was to win her love when she was so far away from me.

But every second I couldn't talk to him, something was building up inside me. If we get close one day, I want to chat for hours.

As the classroom slowly filled in, the twins arrived. I've looked at them with all my hatred, they're really annoying. They were among those who once treated me like a torpedo, and now they are doing the same thing themselves.

A little later, the teacher arrived and the lesson began. Mr. Kim had taken me to the blackboard to read aloud the quiz notes from a few days earlier. Since this quiz would only replace the oral grade, it would not be written on the list, the teacher would explain it himself or have one of the students read it.

I began to read the notes in order; "Kwon Soonyoung 90, Jeon Jungkook 95, Kim Namjoon 100, Hwang Ye-ji 70, Yoon Jeonghan 85, Xu Minghao 100, Jeon Wonwoo 100, Park Dae Gang 45, Park Dae Gun 50..."

Suddenly, the voice in the classroom went up. Some students began to react to the last two notes, and rightly so.

"How the hell do they come second or third in the exam and get so low in the quiz? It's all out there."

Dae Gun turned to the boy who said this and said, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm saying you're torpedoed, brother, it's pretty obvious. How did you get from middle place to third place with zero effort? Are you a genius?"

"Look at me!" when he stood up, Dae Gang sat him down, "Let him go."

A girl in the back row said, "What's happening is happening to us because of people like you! You're a coward... Do it with your own success. You are incapable."

Dae Gang said, "Isn't it impotent to take your pain out on others because you don't get a high grade?"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"I'm saying you're torpedoed, brother, it's pretty obvious. How did you get from middle place to third place with zero effort? Are you a genius?"

"Look at me!" when he stood up, Dae Gang sat him down, "Let him go."

A girl in the back row said, "What's happening is happening to us because of people like you! You're a coward... Do it with your own success. You are incapable."

Dae Gang said, "Isn't it impotent to take your pain out on others because you don't get a high grade?"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Never mind, Minnie, these things are unspeakable."

"Excuse me?"

As the argument spread throughout the class, the teacher yelled and silenced them. He told me to keep going.

"Park Jihyo 95, Wen Junhui 80, Roseanne Park 100, Jo Shin-yeol 100-"

"Like your first place, I hope this isn't a torpedo." I knew he was telling me when the fool interrupted me and looked at him angrily.

"No, it's my own success, as is my first place."

Some laughed, while others did not react. Another boy grinned nervously, "Sure! It's always been your own success."

Another girl asked, "You must have a connection with twins, not triplets?"

As half the class laughed, my body stiffened with nervousness, and I began to squeeze the paper between my hands. The teacher slammed his hand the table.

"Come to your senses! What kind of speech do you speak? There's no tampering with these notes, it's what you get. Know your words!"

"But sir, they're not just doing the same thing for this quiz, they're always doing the same thing."

"Yes, sir! Our families want us to get high grades, but we work and we get them, they are deserving."

I shouted angrily, "I didn't deserve it! Find another cover for your jealousy!"

One of them laughed, "What am I jealous of you? Your money?"

"Exactly, talk, talk, we're listening." after hearing another sarcastic sentence, I realized that I couldn't take it anymore.

"Off... You're really annoyed! It's so annoying, it's so repulsive!" I didn't care about the teacher who called out after me as I threw the paper on the floor and hurried out of the classroom. I barely threw myself into the fire escapes, waited until I got there, and as soon as I sat down on the step, I started crying.

Even if I cover my face with my hand so that I don't have a voice, I don't think it works. So much so that someone had already come to this sound.

"Well... Can I help?"

When I looked up, I saw a boy I didn't know. Who do I know in this school, though?

I quickly wiped away my tears as I don't like to cry in front of anyone as this boy with a cast on his hand looked at me anxiously.

"You can't be."

I thought he would leave, but he came and sat next to me. I looked at him in amazement, still worried and compassionate.

"I don't think I can turn around and leave after seeing you like this. Could you at least tell me what it is?"

My gaze went away. It hurt a lot.

"They say I'm torpedoed, so they think I'm first. They're all disgusting scum."

"Oh, you must be Jo Shin-yeol."

When he held out his hand, I turned to him, "I'm Kim Mingyu."

These were things so foreign to me that I couldn't even reach out and shake the child's hand. He had already withdrawn, "Well, you don't seem to like handshakes. I saw his name on the list, I know it from there. I finished fifth, but I'm laughing."

"Why? Is it so good to be fifth?"

"Are you a maniac, of course it's very good! Well, at least for me. You don't know how hard I tried to even get from ninth to fourth. It's against my constitution to work so hard."

I couldn't help but laugh and he laughed too. After wiping my moist cheeks, I corrected my posture.

"Thank you, I never thought I'd be able to laugh in this situation."

"You can laugh in any situation. Even rose; That's the best answer you can give them."

I sighed deeply. I don't want to be the interlocutor enough to respond to them, but they push the boundaries so much that I'm the one who ends up answering and coming out harmful.

I looked at my watch, and there were twenty minutes left in class. I stood up. I couldn't go to class now. I decided to go to the canteen to get a coffee and recuperate. When Mingyu stood up, I turned to him.

"Don't you have a lesson?"

"The class is the body, and I'm on leave," he said as he showed his plastered hand. I shook my head, "Get well soon."

"Thank you. Where do you plan to go?"

"Canteen. I'll go into the classroom for a second class, and it would be weird to go back now after I've left."

He laughed, "It is. Can I accompany you? My friends play football, I'm the only one left."

"It happens."

We had coffee together in the canteen and talked a little. I found out that he was in the 2/3 class. For now, he aimed to move to 2/2, he is normally a diligent student, but this year his grades dropped because the classes were a little empty. Now he was trying to regain his old order.

When the bell rang, we continued the conversation during the break and then said goodbye. I was back in class when he went out into the garden. I was doing my best to ignore them while the people in the class were looking at me in a type-by-type manner. Wonwoo didn't take his eyes off me until he got to my turn. When I sat down, he turned to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Does he care too much? You don't think differently from them."

He turned in front of him without an answer. Sighing, I leaned back and crossed my arms.

The gaze on me ended when the teacher arrived. Luckily, Mr. Kim didn't say anything about me throwing the notepaper and leaving. Of course, what I did wasn't right, so he told me that I had to wait in class after class. Well, I'm not surprised.

Since our next class was chemistry, we had to go to the lab. When everyone left, I waited in line. Mr. Kim left his glasses on the table and approached and sat on Wonwoo's empty bench in front of me.

"I know your mother didn't ask the principal for any torpedoes about your grades. He makes those donations of his own free will."

Such was the teacher Kim Junmyeon; He wouldn't judge you, he would trust you and support you. But no one knew its value.

"Still, that stigma sticks on him. Do you know why?"

"They're jealous of my grades."

"No," he laughed and added, "I mean, not really. Shin-yeol, it's your behavior that's the problem."

"My behavior?"

"You may not be torpedoed, but that doesn't mean you don't use your mother's power. You can leave the classroom according to your mind, you don't go to classes if you don't want to, you don't pay attention to the tone of your voice when you speak, so you often get into arguments. Just when you're walking, you have the vibe of owning the school. Yes, your grades are so good thanks to your own achievement, your own intelligence. But your behavior... You've got to get yourself in order about it."

Mr. Kim always spoke to me honestly, but the first time he smacked me in the face, I didn't want to admit it. I shook my head.

"How can I act like a model student when they are insulting me? That's what I do."

"You can't just say that's the production and get away with it, Shin-yeol, it's true for everyone! Look, I know you're not a bad person, that's why I'm having this conversation with you. If your actions were as appropriate as your grades, no one would treat you as a torpedo."

I leaned back, exhaling a troubled exhale. A few weeks ago, I was reminded of a sentence that Wonwoo said; "You can be a smart girl, but it doesn't matter because of your ego. Your arrogance has blocked your way!"

Mr. Kim was speaking for my sake. But Wonwoo's was pure hate. My interest in him made me do such ridiculous things that instead of getting to know each other, we were drifting further and further away. Because he's kind of disgusted with me.

"You live this life like a princess; But remember, princesses happen in fairy tales. We are struggling for life in the most painful way in the middle of reality."

I frowned, "I wish you were a philosophy teacher."

He laughed, "But think about what I said. You can get out."

I got up from my bench and made my way to the door. When I left the classroom, I took my cardigan from the hanger and threw it over my shoulder. When I entered the lab, not all of the students were inside because the class bell had not yet rung. So I moved on to the first vacant place I found. And I certainly didn't know Wonwoo was sitting in front of me. Of course, he didn't think so, so as soon as he saw me in the classroom, he rolled his eyes and came and started packing his things.

I pressed my hand on the pen holder he was about to pick up, "You probably wouldn't die if you sat across from me, you're already in front of me in class."

He tugged at his pencil holder hard, "Couldn't you find another place in the big class?"

I defended myself by saying, "I sat in the first place, I didn't know you were here," but he never believed it. He rolled his eyes and sat down on the stool and stopped to pack his things, "I'm sure it is."

Jeon Wonwoo is the embodiment of the word stubbornness!

Before the teacher rang the bell, the class was slowly filling up. I could feel Wonwoo's gaze on me as I took out my chemistry notebook and placed it in front of me. Already soon he began to speak.

"What did Mr. Kim say?" he averted his eyes when I looked up at him, "So if it's not special..."

I smiled slightly at her sweet shyness, and said, "He said I should be careful with my behavior." His brows furrowed as his eyes found me again, "Your behavior?"

"Hm. That I live like a princess, but that's wrong."

He laughed sarcastically, "She's not a princess; child."

This time it was my turn to frown, "Boy?"

"You don't act like a princess, you act like a spoiled child. How are you different from the little children who cry when their candy is taken from them, and who break all hell when they don't get what they want?"

No, I wasn't offended, offended, or angry.

Because he said these things willingly, even to hurt me, and he tried to distance me from him in this way. He's got a plan, he's going after it, but I'm not going to come to his game.

"Do you know what's the difference?" he shook his head with a frustrated look;

"Once children experience things that hurt, they always run away from it. I couldn't leave you."

I saw him swallow. His jaw dropped, but he couldn't give an answer. While we were just staring at each other, we both turned in front of us when the teacher arrived. I've never had any luck since Wonwoo saw me as a kid and himself as candy.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

For two days, Wonwoo had continued to run away from me, and the more he did, the more I chased him. Some things never change.

There was a basketball game today, and Wonwoo looked so cute with a bandana on his head that I couldn't take my gaze off him. While the other girls were screaming Soonyoung, Mingyu, or Seungcheol's name, my only focus was on Wonwoo. I don't care about anyone else.

The gym was filled with enthusiastic cheering, and by the time the first half was over, it had become a little quieter. When I looked at Wonwoo sitting on one of the chairs at the side of the field, I noticed that he was out of breath, but there was no water there. I made my way to the unopened packages, tore the nylon, and grabbed two bottles and went over to him. I sat down and handed one to him and placed the other next to him. He was really tired, he put the water on his head.

"Basketball doesn't work for cows."

Even though he didn't like being called a nerd, he didn't bother about it and grumbled about the coach, "I told the coach not to add me to the team so I can't do it! Who's listening?"

"Why do you say that, you got the first number."

"It is, but I don't have time for that kind of thing. I have to study for the second exams."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "You're really a nerd." she stared at me, "You're the one who likes a nerd, but?"

I pressed my lips together and smiled, and leaned slightly over him with the support of my hand, "I see you're getting used to it?"

She blinked in panic, she was incredibly cute!

"What's the point? Or stay away! You're getting on my nerves."

I pulled back, chuckling and laughing. By the start of the second half, he had clenched his neck and ran towards the field. It didn't matter if they won or didn't win because it was a friendly match for the upper classes. They were just playing for fun. With the comfort of this, I only watched Wonwoo.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

The other team won the match, but as I said, it was a friendly match, winning was not anyone's priority. As I drove to the car alone after school, I caught up with Wonwoo, who was a few steps ahead of me.

"I can let go."

"I'm not crazy enough to get into the car of someone who doesn't have a license, so keep it."

"I drove the car for only one day, today the driver is taking it. And even though I don't have a driver's license, I drive it just fine."

"Whatever."

He wasn't about to stop, and when I grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him, he let out a weary breath.

"Rest in peace, Shin-yeol."

"You too."

"I'm already-" he knew what I meant and paused, and I laughed lightly. But he still looked bored, and my brows furrowed when he continued, "I don't have the peace you're looking for, get it."

"How do you know? You didn't even make an effort to get to know me. You always make firm decisions without trying."

"Because I don't have time for that! I'm the nerd who can't think of anything but my grades, and you'd better find yourself a bum like yourself."

A bum like yourself...

He had gone again. The sweet bickering between us was gradually turning into painful arguments.

When I got home, my mom came home early from work, so we went to the kitchen to have a snack together. Although everyone treated us as if we were incapable people, my mother was a decent woman who knew the law very well. My interest in Wonwoo manifested itself for the first time and made me too crazy to study thinking about him, and I dropped to fifth place in the class. But even then, my mother didn't raise her voice to me one bit, believing that I would be able to succeed in the next exam. He even consoled himself by saying that fifth place wasn't bad.

People talk about a woman like that, and that's what I'm most mad about. Then why is Jo Shin-yeol acting like a bum, and they infuriate you!

"How was school today?"

"It sucks," I said quickly. I wouldn't hide anything from him. Well, except for Wonwoo, but he could already guess it, "Being in the same class as the people who treated me like a torpedo again two days ago will continue to ruin my every day."

"Let them go, girl! They say that a person knows his own business. They use the power of money for small things, so they think you do too. You are building your own successful future. Don't even hear them talking."

I was stuck on one sentence.

"Do you know who uses torpedoes?"

"So... I've witnessed it a few times at a parents' meeting, but I don't have any clear information."

I put my hands on the table and came to the front, "Mom, please tell me! Who are they? Look, everyone blames me."

He sighed as he placed the plate full of biscuits in front of me, brought a cup of coffee each, and sat down on the chair across from me.

"Park Yul Yeon, the mother of twins, is a bit of a perfectionist. He's so used to having the best of everything that he can't stomach his kids getting low grades, and he's ashamed. So he may have had some conversations with your assistant manager."

"Mom, don't talk about it! And what does it mean to be an assistant director? I think he met with the principal."

My mother shook her head, "Principal Rhee is a fair educator who does not accept bribes. He is a close friend of your grandfather, I know from there. But he's Vice Principal Woon, he's really to be feared."

"Well, he couldn't have done such a thing without Principal Rhee knowing. Besides, if you know that, why didn't you tell the principal at all?"

"I don't have any evidence. Not only me, but also many other parents are aware of the situation and they remain silent with the mindset that the mother will get bread for us."

I clenched my hands into fists in anger, "What happens happens to me happens as long as they stay silent. To this day, I have always received those grades on my own, but I am being treated like a torpedo because you donated to the school."

"It doesn't make any sense, what kind of mindset do your friends have? I donate not only to your school, but also to many other schools and institutions. It's a common thing for your father and me, but people are so used to thinking badly!"

"Their hearts are ugly, their way of thinking is ugly, their character is ugly... I don't know what to do anymore."

He smiled and took my hand.

"You have your family behind you, you don't have to be bullied by anyone. Don't worry, I'll figure it out."

"How?"

"You leave it to me, come on, your coffee has gone cold."

I was trying to understand what was going through my mother's mind as I drank my warm coffee, but it was impossible. He thought so fast and made sound decisions that it was impossible to keep up with him. Still, I was sure that he would do something to get me out of this trouble. At least, I hope so.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

[toomanyopinionss]

I want to talk about

Surviving Summer

(nonspoiler/spoiler)

hey y’all, it’s been a minute since i’ve done one of these. let’s get into it…😏

So i genuinely like this show. Just finished watching the second season, in fact.

I feel like it’s the good amount of cheesy and adorable and mind numbing without being too formulaic and basic like some of these Netflix originals tend to be. Now it can be annoying and cringy sometimes, don’t get me wrong. But it’s got some pretty good actors and actresses with enough heartfelt moments and playful scenes to make one feel content. She’s not a top ten, but she never tries to be, you know??

As for the show itself? Surviving Summer is the perfect name for it, because Summer the character? a HOT mess. I cannot stress this enough, the frontal lobes on that one are not fully formed. It’s especially apparent in season 1. Even so, i love her 🥰. I cant help it ok? She has the confidence that i dreamed of having in high school, and now tbh.

I won’t go to deep into every character, but let me just say this: they will ALL annoy you at some point. It’s so obvious that they’re teenagers, cuz they childish. But they all care about each other most of the time, and surfing. It’s a great summer watch! go for it, don’t be shy

7.5/10. Surface level fun with shenanigans galore and annoying teenagers.

SPOILERS

Y’all the second season was gooood. I liked it better than the first tbh. Summer, like i said before was much more serious and focused, but it didn’t change her personality at all, which i loved.

I liked how they got more into Bodhi’s conflicts with surfing and the racism in the industry on her end. If anything, i wish they had time to do even more with it. Because everything else they did with her character this season was just bleh. A half hearted conflict between poppy blown WAY out of proportion and a half assed queer relationship that was cute but barely touched on because hottake Netflix hates their wlws and their black main characters 🤭(oop who said that)

Poppy and marlon were cuteeeee. sidenote, who else forgot that bodhi and marlon had a thing, cuz i sho did 👀. they have such good chemistry and it just warmed my heart. SPEAKING of good chemistry…

✨“summer have you seen yourself?”

summer and baxter are the only mf choice, im SORRY.

immediately side eyeing anyone who says that summer and ari should be together, because i’m not sure you and i watch the same show. another steaming take, but I never bought into summer and ari. they are too sibling for me. i was taken ABACK when they kissed in season one. I genuinely did not see it coming. they play off each other nicely, but in a romantic way? NOPE, i don’t buy it.

but from the first scene with baxter and summer, i knew. it was intense. the casual touches, the instant bind they formed, the way bax looks at her 🤭…

you cannot compete where you don’t compare, Ari is not the one 🤷🏾‍♀️

anyone else? hmmm…

oh, y’all join me in a big FVCK you to Elo and Wren. they both suck actual ass and i hate them both.

it’s the way that they treat everyone like shit equally. even their own brother? like what the fvck is wrong with them?

like especially wren. being jealous and overly competitive is one thing. but they way she handled the bodhi situation, plus the way she outed her old teammate? literally bordering on racist and homophobic like wtffff. maybe a lil psychotic too, cuz why is she literally a threat to summer’s life? don’t take it out on her cuz your boyfriend is an indecisive disaster. at least they didn’t give wren a redemption, i would have been so pissed off like fvck her.

ok this is getting long. tldr, Season 2 was entertaining and fun. poppy and marlon were cute, summer was awesome, ari does not need a girlfriend, justice for baxter, and wren and elo will not be seeing the pearly gates.

[hwaseonghwasworld]

Double life Part 1: Vengeance

Summary: Her whole life she was split from her twin sister and was adopted a mafia boss who taught her how to fight at a very young age to protect her, he died when she was 16 and killed the whole group that killed him and also my boyfriend, what happened when she finally meets her twin sister?

Yeosang x Reader

Word count: 2.05k

Genre: High School au, Fluff, Angst, smut

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Violence, Mentions Of Suicide, Murder, Severe Torture, Mentions Of Bullying, Mentions Of Sexual Assault, Mentions Of Self Harm, Mentions Of Mental Health

Updates: Maybe Friday 7pm BST

Im So Y/n I’m 18 years old and I’m the leader of a mafia group my adoptive father used to own. My biological mom didn’t want me so now I’m the daughter of a highly dangerous mafia boss. I was split from my sister at birth since the woman didn’t want to deal with twins as a single mother so she gave me up. My boyfriend that was killed by the same group is the father of my baby that is now almost 2 years old. My son’s name is Minjun and I will always protect him no matter what.

I have people that check on my twin sister Mi-joo because I want her protected since she’s a very frail girl, I recently found out that our mother has been abusing her for every little thing she does, and she’s been getting bullied by four girls their names are So-min, Hajun Jiyun and Chae-yoon, they had beaten her tho the point where she was put in the hospital.

I was with her as she was passed out in the hospital bed “I told you guys to watch over her, by that I mean stop ANYONE that tried to hurt her!” I cross my legs and put my index finger and thumb in the bridge of my nose, I beckoned them to leave and that’s exactly what they do.

Mi-joo woke up and looked at me in shock seeing that I’m the exact copy of her except that I have short hair and I have long hair. “W-who are you….?” I look at her and held her hand “I’m your twin, and I’m here to help you get your revenge” “what do you mean?” I look at her determined to keep her safe “I’ve seen the videos of those girls bullying you and I know your mother also treats you badly so please let me do this for you” she nodded and my body guard bought me the school uniform and I was ready to go to the school tomorrow.

I took Mi-joo to my home and she saw my son with my secretary and smiled “who’s this cutie” she smiled and squished his cheek, “he’s your nephew” she looked at me shocked “you had a child?!” “Yeah it’s a long story, the father died…” “do you wanna talk about me” she looked at me with sympathy “not right now, because right now is for you to tell me who else has been hurting you” she sighed and nodded “the girls names are-“ “So-min, Jiyun, Hajun and Chae-yoon, I know… I found all their details and information, is there anyone else” she looked surprised and nodded “there’s this teacher. He keeps touching me and I keep trying to tell him that I’ll call the police but he won’t leave me alone and he gets aggressive.”

Hearing that made my blood boil, I wanted to kill that man and I wanted to do it painfully. “And then there’s mom as well” I look at her and held her shoulder “Mi-joo shii, don’t worry, I’ll make sure they all get what they deserve” Mi-joo nodded and smiled at me. The next day I got ready and made my way to the school.

Everyone looked at me and I gave them all a cold look, I didn’t come here to make friends so I didn’t care about being friendly, I walked into the classroom and looked at the desk that had Mi-joo’s name on it but it was written in pen and had horrible things on it. The 4 girls walked up to me and I immediately knew that So-min was the leader of those bitches.

“Do you like what we did? It’s a little get well soon present…. Just. For. You” she laughed and that laugh was the same one as the girl that was videoing my sister getting tortured. I grabbed her head and slammed it into my sisters desk, I watched as the three girls tried to get me off her but instead I kicked them away causing So-min to scream for me to stop. I look at her and pull her hair.

“You know what? Since you like laughing so much, why don’t you laugh for me!” I took my phone out and pinned her head on the desk, she was scared but I push it harder causing her to do as I say, she finally laughs and I video it, I let go of her and as I was walking to the back by the door to sit in that seat and as I was walking a male student walked in at the same time, we looked over at each other for a brief second but my eyes drifted away as soon as I sat down I airdropped the video to everyone in the class and everyone but the group of bullies were laughing.

The walked in and everyone stopped laughing “what’s so funny?” Everyone stayed silent making her introduce the guy I was looking at who is knew and his name is Kang Yeosang. The whole time in school I was following the rapist teacher, I found out that he had asthma, and seeing his schedule I found out that he’s usually alone during homeroom and lunch, after school I decided to meet with mother dearest.

I’ve never been inside of the house but I wouldn’t have never thought that she was the cause of Mi-Jo’s depression and that she was one of the reasons why Mi-joo was cutting herself. Knowing this made me angrier and angrier. As soon as I stepped into the house the toxic bitch slapped me. “Why haven’t you been at home and what did you do to your hair!!” I started fake crying and apologizing to see if she will have some sympathy for her own daughter but she just slapped me again making me laugh.

“What the fuck is wrong with you” she had said to me and I cross my arms, “you hurt my baby sister… now it’s your turn” she looked at me confused then she realized “Y/n….” the people in my group appeared behind her and knocked her out, they picked her up and tied her arms together behind her back and tied her leg to the leg of the chair. I decided to make her feel what Mi-joo felt, I slit her wrists and I wanted her to wake up so I pored freezing cold water over her head causing he to wake up and cream in pain, I held a lighter close to her face and put it down to her hand and burnt her finger tips.

“Why did you even have kids in the first place?” She looked at me and smirked “are you wandering why I put you up for adoption? It’s because i didn’t love you both, twins were too much to handle and I needed a child so they can help me clean up” I looked at her and sat down on the chair opposite to her “hmmm I should kill you right now” I looked down at the gun that I took out and started playing with it, her smirk turned into death as she begged me not to kill her and started going on about how she loved me and Mi-joo which made me laugh. “But that’s too easy and I don’t want you to give you the easy way out” I looked over at the guys “guys leave her here until I come back”

I drove home and as soon as I got there I saw my Minjun playing with my sister. As soon as he saw me he ran to my arms and I smile kissing his cheek. “What happened today?” I looked at her as I sat on the couch “I beat up those girls tortured our evil mother and now I’m thinking about slowly killing that teacher” she looked over at me “are you gonna kill our mother…?” “Do you want me to?” She shook her head and I nodded “okay but I’ll make sure she stays quiet” Mi-joo nods.

The day flew by quickly and I was getting ready to go to school, I kiss my sons cheek and hugged my sister telling her that I’m torture the girl and the teacher which she disagreed with but my mission and her sister is to help her and keep her safe. As soon as I got to the school I immediately went to go find the teacher. I had my knife with me and once I walked passed the teachers lounge he knew to follow me. Went into the classroom and I sat down on the table crossing my legs.

“Whats wrong Mi-joo? You’ve gotten better now, so we can carry on-“ I tilt my head and acted like Mi-joo “I don’t want to carry on….” I looked down and he walked to me and put his hand on my chin, “well it’s not your choice” I glared at him and punched his face making him groan in pain “see that’s what I like to hear, since you decided to hurt my sister I’ll gladly watch you suffer” he starts getting an asthma attack and I walked further away from him sitting on a different table “oh… right you need your inhaler?” I had the inhaler in my hand as I had gloves on, he was slowly walking to me and I put the inhaler next to me watching him collapse on the floor as he was slowly loosing air. I giggle as I watched as he was slowly looking his breath as he was getting closer and closer to the inhaler “come on, you can do it. Just. Keep. Crawling” I smirked as he lost all his breath and had died practically right besides me, I stood up and left the inhaler down on the floor breaking it.

As I was walking out Yeosang came in “is he dead?” I looked over at him acting like I was upset “y-yeah, he was getting aggressive so I punched him and fell on his inhaler… I guess he had an asthma attack-“ “I know who you are” I looked at him with a cold stare “I’m like you… Y/n” I sighed and approached him pulling my knife out and had it to his neck, he smirked grabbing my arm and slowly putting my arm down.

“This school is boring and I want to help you” I step closer to him “what do you mean” “you’re one of the most powerful mafias who inherited all the money and power from your adoptive father, who taught you how to fight and kill at a young age, and is only and this school for one thing…. Revenge. Am I right?” I glare at him “how do you know so much about me?” “I have my ways… anyway can I help you?” I look at him now wanting him to help cause I’m not doing it as a proper mission “it’s for my sister” “I know, so please can I help” I look at him unsure if I can let him join “I’ll think about it”

The bell had rang so I walked back to my seat, I watched as everyone ran out after someone had said that teacher is dead in a classroom which people wanted to see the scene sing the police were on there way. “Y/n you have to leave” “why?” He held my had and was trying to get me out of the school “the police are on there way, there gonna think you did it” I looked at him and he genuinely looked worried so I reassured him that I didn’t physically kill him”

“He had an asthma attack” “then how would you explain the bruise on his nose?” I sighed and sat in my seat “he tried to threaten me and hurt me so I punched him so I could run away, he fell onto his inhaler and he had an asthma attack and died, see and anyway if they think they got me, I have connections on the police force” I said this to him with a straight face and just tickets my head and smiled.

“Y/n….” I turn around seeing someone that I thought I’d never see again.

🥀

Next part

Main Masterlist

[rvspecter]

ramble about each of ur suits ships for as long as u can (might result in a novel)

omg sweet anon asking about all my ships <3

ok so first i don't ship something because i want to see two ppl get married i don't do that. i'll ship it because i find it interesting/sexy etc

LET'S START WITH THE SEXIEST

jessica/harvey

-everyone sleeping on this ship makes me so mad. like they are so sexy!?!?!?!?!?? even when they banter they are sexy. THEY ARE TOTALLY FLIRTING?!??!?! anyways i particularly like when they fight for dominance which is basically every scene with them. oh and i like how she's taller than him in heels and how she stares him down like he's breakfast. SO WHY ISN'T THERE MORE FIC!??!? what i need is for someone to help me establish their backstory. like i know they fucked in a bathroom stall on the 53rd floor but i'm not sure when. was it when harvey was working in the mailroom? i feel like they are the hardest ship to write for actually and make believable. BUT I KNOW THEY FUCKED!!!!!

mike/harvey

-mike legit has harvey wrapped around his finger. if that boy said “hire me as a lawyer even tho ive only finished high school and then offer to go to prison for me when im found out” harvey would be like “how high”. i don't think anyone can argue that harvey loves mike

but to me marvey is an unrequited love story. idk what to say. mike doesn't love harvey. sometimes i don't even think mike likes harvey as a friend. that's how soured by s6+ i was. mike treated harvey like shit and harvey kept coming back for more. it was actually painful to watch. i read marvey and usually the stories i find believable r the ones where mike leaves with rachel and GROWS UP (even tho he's a 30 yr old man at the start of the show) and everyone's wounds have had time to heal. i can buy marvey getting together then. what i don't find believable are stories where mike is pining for harvey!?!??! i don't know what show that is. the guy literally couldn't get away from harvey fast enough. he gets out of jail and almost immediately fucks off to seattle with his wife and doesn't even tell harvey about it like??

when i first got into the fandom side of suits i really liked the romanticized version of marvey where they wud do ANYTHING for each other. but when i watch the show - this only goes in one direction

donna/harvey

-this is this ship i was rooting for when i watched the show the first time. the thing about them is their history and emotional connection. to me they are a single entity. they r partners and they have always been partners. u don't even get to talk to harvey without going thru donna - she is literally the physical border between him and the outside world

i love how they protect each other. harvey has never let anything bad happen to donna. it's a fact. he'd do anything to protect her and we see that. but here's the thing about their relationship - it's mutual. donna does INSANE THINGS for harvey like KEEP A DOCUMENT THAT SHE STOLE FOR OVER A DECADE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT SOMEONE GOES AFTER HARVEY FOR CAMERON'S CRIMES. they wud do anything for each other and they both know it

i also love how highly they think of each other. we always see donna defending harvey. she defends him because she thinks he's a good person ("because ur worthy"). she's one of few ppl on the show who does. most ppl think of him as a dick and that group includes mike

the way harvey views donna is almost worshipful. he thinks she can do no wrong. “donna doesn’t make mistakes.” he trusts her completely. she's his compass. every success he has is a shared success. “we made partner.” he doesn’t even think he can be himself without her. and don’t get me started on how debilitating her moving 3 doors down the hall was for him

anyways tldr their relationship is a two way street. they love each other and they both know it. and i'm not talking about after they finally get together (let's not talk about s9). i'm talking about before. because even if they didn't know the other person wanted to be with them - they knew they loved them and would do anything for them

MIGHT AS WELL GO THROUGH ALL MY SHIPS

scottie/harvey

-s1 version of them was so fun! i wanted this to have been a long term friends with benefits type thing. when they became a couple i didn't like it because it was always her sacrificing stuff for him and not the other way around

sean cahill/harvey

THIS SHIP NEEDS MORE FIC. i was just thinking about them. sean tells harvey 'I MOVED HEAVEN AND EARTH FOR YOU ONCE BEFORE AND NOW THE WELL IS DRY' like sean was totally IN LOVE WITH HARVEY. it's crazy how much he did for him actually. like what did sean get out of it??!?!?!?!??! anyways they totally fucked while mike was in prison

travis tanner/harvey

they way i see them is travis is obsessed with harvey's hair and hands and generally thinks he's just a pretty girl he wants to get with. harvey is like eww no but also we know harvey likes fucking the competition. so i think they fuck on and off, after or before cases and it's very kinky because travis is a total freak in the sheets

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

cameron dennis/harvey

plz see this fic for details

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

OKAY AS PROMISED IM BACK WITH SOME GOOD OL GOVERNMENT SLANDER LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

And as usually I haven’t read the page in the past 5 minutes so some details are most certainly lost within the inner machinations of my mind so please don’t excuse me if I get some things wrong. I’m also a high school student so I also don’t know every little detail about how government organizations work but let’s pretend I do for the funny.

Now, what we see of GUN (Will not be using the periods because that’s too much work lmfao) is pretty antagonistic at first glance. First they won’t permit Amy to be in the base without specific permission from anyone in charge, then they see one little thing wrong with Omega and treat it like it’s the black plague or something, and then they don’t even refer to Omega as a real person, AND THEN THEY PREPARE THE GUY FOR EXECUTION????????? YEAH WHAT A NICE TRACK RECORD THEY GOT GOING ON!!!!

However, I do have the obligation to defend a majority of the things they do here. First we’ll start with Amy’s initial rejection.

Again, a ton of details about this part are lost to me as they came out nearly a year ago and I just spontaneously decided to send in this ask.

When Amy waltz’s right on into GUN’s base of operation, she does arrive with the consent of Rouge, but our badass bat queen is not the one in charge. Yes, Rouge is a very well-respected spy in the business and she is held in high regard, but she’s only one of the higher-ups. She isn’t “The Big Man” upstairs or whatever. Not only that, but she is allies with some pretty suspicious individuals, like Sonic for example, who was already on GUN’s hit list a few times now. And not to mention, she treats Omega like he’s a real person instead of just some Eggman robot that went rogue. In this context, not only do GUN have reason to be suspicious of Rouge just allowing a random girl into their top secret operations base, but they also have reason to be wary near Omega. (I’ll get into this later) And by the way, Amy is practically unheard of to GUN, at least from what I know. They have Sonic and a majority of his friends on file, but I’ve never seen Amy interact with GUN at all until this point. Even if she had, GUN would still know very little about her. So for her to just waltz right on in and claim she’s working with Rouge, the only other Mobian besides Shadow btw, it’s understandable that GUN is gonna be pretty weird about that.

Now sure, Amy did claim she was working with Rouge, but that’s just it. Rouge and Shadow are the only Mobians within a mostly human organization, Mobians who do have previous criminal records. I am honestly shocked the two were able to work with GUN in the first place. So allowing another Mobian onto the team, even temporarily, is a big deal.

Alright that’s enough of that I’ve basically sang GUN its praises from heaven and back so we’re gonna get into the nitty-gritty now muahahahahahaaaaa

Now about everyone just hating on Omega? Well, they still have some reason to do so. Before Shadow and Rouge, GUN was quite strict in who they let in, as with any scientific/military operation that’s in cahoots with the government. Oh, and they also hate Eggman. So allowing Team Dark’s third and most op member Omega to be hired was quite the stretch. In real life, allowing a robot to work at all would basically be a felony as it could lead to harmful outcomes like software malfunctions, miscalculations, harming other workers, etc. To many things can go wrong when a robot is on the clock, and in this case, the robot is also very genocidal and wants the death of anyone who gets in his way. The only attribute that GUN can have any hope in is the well-known fact that Omega despises Eggman with a passion. Ya boi hates Eggman more than the whole of GUN, which to them is saying a lot! So GUN is already taking enough risk by allowing Omega to exist within the workspace!

But that’s the thing here. Everyone is so focused on the what-ifs with Omega that they never stop to think about what he’s really like. Everyone is afraid of Omega, or at least afraid of what he is capable of, so they all avoid him like the plague. On top of all that, due to their honestly not unfounded fear, they’ve been preparing for the worst from the guy. GUN probably has a ton of unnecessary protocols now all thanks to Omega’s mere existence, and so if anything were to go even a little bit wrong… Welp. We all know what they’d have to do.

To me, this does seem slightly reasonable, at least given how Omega truly is. The guy is a loose cannon, literally and figuratively, and his rage is unmatched! So it does seem understandable to an extent as to why Omega is treated in this way.

What isn’t reasonable though is how he’s treated on the other side of things. Yes, ya boi is a hazard. Yes, he could burn the whole place to the ground and not feel an ounce of regret. Yes, Omega is very unpredictable! However, that’s just how some people are in real life too! Real people are unpredictable and violent, and yet we don’t see everyone treating them like a plaything! To GUN, Omega is seen as both a useful tool and an unpredictable hazard, just like I said, and both these qualities combined make for a very demeaning description. Because while Omega is a robot, he still can feel and have emotions similarly to, if not exactly like a regular person! (See my previous essay to get a bigger picture for what I mean by this) He acts and feels just as human as the others, and we can tell he clearly wants to be treated as such! Omega doesn’t seem to mind the over-the-top precautions necessary for his own existence, and he doesn’t care if he gets the occasional glare or two from a coworker. What he does clearly care about is being called a violent yet necessary tool, a monster, a robot, an emotionless tin can, an it…! Omega hates being undermined. He despises the fact that he’s constantly being misjudged for what he is, not because of who he is. No one treats Omega like a real living creature, and instead treats him like another tool in the shed, a faulty lawnmower or a dulled bush trimmer. Yes, he’s useful, and yeah he is on their side! But he’s also just a bunch of code and numbers, nothing but ones and zeroes, and they’re all treating him as such. Nobody really cares about him. Nobody sees Omega for who he really is. Which is why whenever he can, Omega always gravitates towards the only other oddballs in the workplace, the only Mobians, the only people who will treat him with respect.

And finally, we come to the last section of this very very VERY LONG ESSAY ABOUT A SINGLE CHARACTER, the execution. Or I guess the attempted execution.

So, like I said beforehand, Omega has a LOT of precautions on his belt, and also like I stated, one of them is his execution. If anything were to go wrong at all, if Omega were to step out of line, the guy would have to at the very least be taken apart just to see what’s wrong. If GUN were feeling nice, they wouldn’t straight up kill the guy, and at this point in time it’s clear that the higher-ups have taken a liking to Omega. So going this far was not their intention in the slightest. It would be considered though if anything like it were to happen again, but thanks to the new pages I think they’re beginning to reconsider this. Omega has now been taken over/amplified by Dark Gaia, (Also see my previous ask to know what I think on all that) and that is seen as an accident worthy of an execution in the eyes of the government. And in some cases that’d be understandable, but in this case it isn’t. GUN has been working with Omega for a while at this point, and not only that, but like I JUST SAID, they like him. Or at least they think they do. Executing Omega for something that was clearly out of his control is not necessary in the slightest and it is exactly why I did this whole thing.

okay so as you can probably tell I’m getting tired of typing on my iPad generation 10 screen keyboard so I’ll try to keep this short.

Summary: Omega is an unpredictable force of nature that GUN clearly doesn’t like. They like the concept of him being on their side and the General likes him personally, but Omega in theory and Omega in practice are two separate robots. Having robots in the workplace at all can have dire consequences, so not only have GUN taken multiple extra precautions just in case something bad happened thanks to Omega, but they also treat him like a piece of junk! It’s terrible, but at the end of the day that’s kinda just what needs to be done. GUN is a government operation that hates Eggman, so anything trouble-making within the business is seen as a liability or a hazard, which includes our favorite homicidal maniacal robot.

AND THATS IT I FINALLY DID IT I FINALLY GOT IT DONE I FINALLY WROTE THE WHOLE THING WOW THAT WAS A LOT OF GIVERNMENT SLANDER QOOOOOOOOOWWWWW

AIGHT THATS IT IM DONE IM LEAVING THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING ALL THAT AND HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT

THANKS FOR SENDING IN ESSAYS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!! very interesting read cant wait for u to see the conclusion of this arc

[seijorhi]

Hey rhi!!! I feel so fucking guilty for doing this but I have some more questions 🫠 AHHHHHHHHH IM SO SORRY IF IM BEING ANNOYING. Please forgive me babe. 😰

Did ame work as a spy for the twins (though she was unaware of it)?

what happened right after the non-con scene?

Since the reader came in their own car weren’t the twins a bit sus of the reader booking it since they still haven’t moved yet?

Why did Osamu treat the reader with kindness while Atsumu feigned ignorance?

When the reader and ame went to get massages and they twins were left alone, what were they doing (were they planning)?

How did Atsumu manage to give ame a genuine smile when he doesn’t love her?

I know you mentioned that when Atsumu breaks up with ame, he would either do it gently (as gently as he could manage) or reveal everything that happened between them and the reader (depending on the mood he was in) but if he were to do the latter, would ame be horrified at the person she was in love with/ feel bad for the reader?

Like would she tell anyone or keep it to herself?

(Im so sorry if I’m making a nuisance of myself 🥲 and thank you a lot for the advice and answering my previous questions, it truly makes my day. 💕

I will try to write with the information you’ve given me in mind , though I’m a tad nervous since I don’t really know where to start.

I think it’s going to take me a lot of trail and error to get where I want to be but I know for sure that I won’t be giving up anytime soon.

Thank you so much rhi, you will probably hear from me soon. I hope you have a lovely and blessed day. 💌🫶)

- 🌬️🌫️ Katia

:))

not really? tsumu was pretty aware that if he kept bringing up the reader, even ame would start to get suspicious. plus he was playing into the whole 'i don't remember her from school' thing so

clean up. atsumu had to go take care of ame, leaving the reader in osamu's capable hands while he bitched and moaned about it

nope, they were confident enough that she wouldn't make a scene and wouldn't want to ruin ame's birthday and potentially risk their friendship. even if she did, it would just mean casting the plan aside and going for the more direct, less pleasant route

personally he thinks tsumu's idea of feigning ignorance to be pretty dumb, but that's not his problem. they're both trying to get under her skin in their own way. on the surface, it puts ame at ease, they're adamant they've grown and there's no bad blood between them, so of course he's not going to be a dick right out of the gate. more to the point, he knows that the friendly attitude will unnerve the hell out of the reader, and he likes that thought just a little too much

nothing nefarious lol, just chilling

he's a good actor

of course she would. ame's not an unfeeling bitch, she genuinely cares about her friend and would be horrified and disgusted, both with herself and with the twins. had she known the full truth behind their relationship, all the awful things they'd done to her back in high school, she never would have given atsumu the time of day in the first place, much less put the reader in a position where the she would be forced to spend time with them. as for whether she'd tell anyone, what's there to tell? what proof does she have? the twins are still blackmailing the reader – ame goes to the press or does anything to risk their relationship, all she'd be doing is kicking her while she's down... and who's to say ame wasn't complicit in the first place?

[renthony]

i want to chime in as another person- my mind was changed on NPD years ago but it was only because of like, real human people talking about their actual experiences that helped me realize it was not The Evil Disorder (TM) in the same way that I realized ASPD wasn't THe Evil Disorder (TM). I guess I was maybe more likely to realize something was up because i also hit a bunch of the diagnostic criteria for it but like, when literally all you hear is "narcissist just means someone is a self centered asshole" it's hard to realize that that's not actually what it is at all.

and they for real taught us that shit in school. we had a whole discussion about the myth of narcissus and how obviously that hurt ~everyone else~ more than narcissus, even though he literally starved to death and turned into a flower. it took me until i was like 17 and someone else went "hey thats kind of fucked up" before i was like oh yeah. that was probably not something he did for fun huh

idk where i'm going with this but i respect the hell out of you being willing to brave the internet goblins and be like "stop being an asshole about ppl with npd" because its gotta hurt way more when people are being an asshole about something you actually got. i made like one or two posts ages ago about the "narc abuse" ableist bullshit and i remember it being enough of a headache even when it completely and totally was not personal for me bc i do not have it

oh uh idk im sure you know this but for the people in the back sitting around, aspd is antisocial personality disorder and people with aspd are also not evil malicious serial killers in waiting or whatever the ~common interpretation~ is and people with aspd are just as capable of being good friends and normal ass people who don't run around cackling evilly or whatever and kicking puppies, just like anyone else. but buying into ableist mythology about people's diagnoses is absolutely going to cut you off from other regular people who are just living their lives and is also associated with higher rates of violence against other people :,) bigots kill

To be honest, a large chunk of the reason I get so vocal about NPD is because of how bad the ableism has wormed its way into my head. It's pretty much a daily occurrence that my housemates have to remind me that asking for help isn't manipulative and that I'm not being an evil little monster just for needing reassurance. Anti-cluster-B ableism curls up in your head and feeds on all your insecurities and struggles and it's so, so goddamn hard to deal with.

I can't ask for help getting out of bed on high pain days without getting paranoid that I've somehow manipulated my husband into being my reluctant servant. Doesn't matter how many times he reminds me that he's here because he loves me, and how helping me out of bed is an expression of that love. The internalized ableism still makes me so deeply fucking afraid that I'm the shitty one.

I have a daffodil tattooed on my head as part of my big floral scalp piece, and it's for Narcissus. Ovid's version of the story is the one that's always stuck with me the most, where Narcissus is tricked into his downfall by Nemesis. His worst crimes were "rejecting proposals from people who felt entitled to his body" and "being kind of an asshole, which is something that literally everyone is guilty of at times."

In the end, Narcissus didn't waste away because he was too self-absorbed for anything else, it happened because he was treated with trickery instead of compassion.

[lonelychicago]

seven sentence sunday

tagged by @lostinabuddiehaze @buddierights @rogerzsteven @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress and @monsterrae1 thanks for the tags, loves!

this is for my prince buck au!

Eddie would not recommend that anyone fall in love with a prince. It is, objectively speaking, a terrible idea. It can only end in heartbreak and it’s not worth it.

Except it totally is, of course.

But it's so stupid, feeling the way he does, because the first thing Eddie learns about Buck is that he's going to marry someone someday— preferably a nice girl, from a wealthy family and good reputation. It’s the first thing that Queen Margaret told him when she hired Eddie to protect his son— or more like, to make sure her son doesn't get in trouble.

Eddie thought it'd be perfect. The job pays extremely well, he's far away from his parents and he can give Chris a comfortable, nice life.

Except, is not easy to be the personal bodyguard of one Evan Buckley.

The guy is reckless, pulling stupid stunt after other to mostly piss off his parents. He's too cocky for his own good, stubborn to a fault and he makes Eddie's job harder than it needs to be.

Evan Buckley is a pain in his ass, if he's being completely honest.

And yet… Eddie went and fell in love with him.

Eddie's never been the type to ask very many questions; he tends to stay quiet and observe, and he's good at it. But when it comes to Buck… he can’t. The prince just has this talent to push Eddie’s buttons in the most infuriating, intoxicating way.

Their first meeting hadn't been the best— not at all like Eddie picture it would go the first time he met a prince.

The thing is, Evan Buckley isn’t every other prince in the world. Other princes would have had Eddie punished, when they first met, because it was not, by any standard, a good meeting. It was the end of a long day of talking to all of the people forming the security staff of the Bukingham palace. He found a lot of stupid little mistakes that could potentially cost the royal family's safety and Eddie was just in a sour mood. So of course Buck came in making demands to go to this stupid party with zero time to plan anything.

Eddie told him right then and there that if he wasn't willing to treat him with a modicum of respect, Eddie wouldn't respect him. (It was an incredibly stupid thing to say to a prince, by the way. He definitely doesn't recommend doing that.)

He remembers how Buck opened and closed his mouth twice before leaving without another word.

The next day, he apologized. "I'm sorry about yesterday. It was— I just— I'm always here, you know? And if I'm not, I'm always with my parents or where my parents tell me to go." Buck had explained to him, surprisingly open and honest. "And I know you must be thinking I'm a spoiled brat… I just needed one day to go out and breathe, I guess."

And in that moment, Eddie had felt a connection to the prince. This sort of kinship. Because even if the situations weren't the same, Eddie could understand where the guy was coming from. He remembered how it felt when he was just a stupid teenager and got his high school girlfriend knocked up. Eddie's parents had been relentless and overbearing— Eddie could understand what Buck was saying it's all.

tagging: (im sure im late and idk who's done it already so feel free to ignore me) @bekkachaos @fatedbuck @loveyourownsmiilee @swiftiebuckleys @the-likesofus @wheelsupin-five @maygrantgf and whoever else wants to do it!

[viscerast]

hey non oomf. please don’t shoot the messenger. your ex would like you to know that their dni is set up like that (and it includes kins of their comforts as well) because they are delusional and are uncomfortable with doubles. also no one is friends with your abusers anymore, because harpy is dead. she died last august. not much to say on that one but thank god tbh.

hey noomf thank you for reaching out and telling me this. id like to preface this post that no ill will goes towards you, anon, but towards PF. you're welcome to screenshot and send this post to damien if you want. very curious on how you know damien/PF but. wtv youre anon for a reason

for context, this is the post anon is talking about. also for simplicity, i'm going to be using the names i remember everyone using, but strictly they/them pronouns instead of the ones i remember them using just to avoid misgendering, i know a lot of people had gender discoveries over lockdown and coming out of lockdown and PF is not free from the transgender beam /silly

i will not comment on damiens DNI any further because, frankly, im staying as far as i can from any delusion related discourse as possible. as a potentially schizophrenic person, i know how sensitive the topic of delusions can be, especially D/A's, erotomania and platonic erotomanic delusions. i still think its a bit off that damien, a singlet, as a core part of being a system in their dni but. thog doesnt caare /ref i don't know their story at all

quite frankly, i'm glad to hear that no ones associating with my abusers anymore. part of me was always a little worried for the remaining members of the group (especially the younger ones), i didn't want anyone to have to deal with the blatant toxic bullshit that i had. even if you lot had a falling out with harpy in some respect, i want to say that i'm sorry for your loss. i remember how close PF was in general, especially with harpy.

i'll tentatively accept the offer to talk with damien, but maybe later. maybe when we're more stable. i'll unblock them for now, because honestly i had no quarrel with damien, just that they were still associating with PF.

this, however, is not an open invite to anyone who associated with/was apart of PF to contact me. in fact, fuck the rest of you completely. stay off my page.

i hate how you guys keep finding our accounts. you almost put us into the hospital with the stunt ezra and karen pulled a few years back joining our personal server. to this day we don't feel safe anywhere we go, irl and online, because of how you guys acted. i know we weren't the best person, i know we were rude and lashed out and were generally hard to deal with, but we were fucking 15 or 16. we had known you guys since we were 13, we trusted your voices and opinions more than anything. if PF said the sky was red, then the sky was fucking red. we trusted you guys enough to give you our address. we were dealing with the horrors of being the only openly trans and queer kid in a small town catholic middle/high school ON TOP of having a slough of undiagnosed disabilities and disorders. and then going home to cope with how stressed we were and talking to our "friends". we should have turned tail and ran the second chai was kicked out. we should have realized earlier how chai had hurt us and cut ties with the rest of you, because no one seemed to care how weirdly romantic chai and i were getting. no one seemed to care about how weird ezra treated us, that the almost adult was jokingly calling the 14 year old their husband. PF actively encouraged our identity delusions and spirals. i was expected to have the emotional and mental capacity of a fully grown adult when i barely even knew who i was. i remember semi-frequently having our possibility of undiagnosed BPD (and potentially NPD? i cant remember if thats something they ever mentioned) recognized by ezra and harpy(?), but the fact that we were untreated, experiencing symptoms of the disorder they were sure we had, struggling to understand our emotions let alone regulate them was all thrown out the window the second we made even the smallest of mistakes. our bpd and delusions were used against us as a way to keep us in line, or when we were noticeably in a spiral we would have our identity delusions towards danganronpa villains invoked to encourage us to be cruel to other people- either members of PF or strangers on twitter.

tldr fuck peach fuzz. yall messed us up. sorry for the long vent/rant we just. really really needed to get that off our chest. we have for years and it feels like we were only able to heal enough this year to actually confront it and say something about what happened. there was a lot more than just this but this is what was fucking us up the most. sorry . i gotta go take a walk goodbye

[floosies]

Break It To Me Gently

steve harrington x poc!fem

warnings: angst, heart break

(this was gonna be more of a blurb but i got a bit carried away. its night and i ponder too much, blame brenda lee. possiblity for a happy ending idk im thinking)

they say the daughter of the man takes the karmic grunt of his mistakes, but when the man has only a son who else is left to carry the burden?

but steve was no saint, his plethora of sin was legendary itself and with it grew his list of grievances but none more painful than the love he lost after nancy broke his heart.

the girl who somehow mended him in his last couple of months of school. who made it bareable to walk the halls of hawkins high. to anyone else she was no one special, but to him in those months she was everything.

soothing a heart she didnt break. winning the boy but at the cost of having to hear how badly he was hurt. sure to anyone who heard the story she was simply a rebound, but even forgotten history is still history; and that was something they shared.

he held her hand, planted her first kiss, and posed for their elemantry graduation photo together all those years ago. never the courageous one, she watched him become the socialite she never could be. she wondered if he even remembered what they'd once shared so long ago.

when the word spread of his heartbreak, of his fall from grace, she couldnt hold onto whatever anger she had once felt. it all became pity and despite it, he wanted it. pity and sympathy, her touch, her kiss, her words all sweet nothings that eased his pain.

and maybe deep down she knew it wouldn't last. that his love was conditional at best, but those last few months, those secret meet ups and phone calls they were everything. but little by little it happened, it started slipping away. the last time she held him was the night before graduation. she knew it was over then, he didnt have to say it for her to know. with a final strong hug she released him from her way.

all her memories of this stayed in her head, and some pictures she swore never to show anyone else. it was the sweetest, cruelest, and most passionate love; and she knew it was never going to happen again.

not willing to ache she left not long before the summer could begin. the idea of going to a far away college somewhere on the east coast was the only sollace in her heartbroken misery. though she knew better, she couldnt stop herself from writing him her parting words. sending out one final adminace that she'd loved him from the start. their childhood photo folded into the letter left as a goodbye gift. in her mind he would probably just leave the card in his desk but never risk opening it out of fear of feelings or admittance that he had truly done it.

in reality, he opened it as soon as he saw it. somewhere deep down inside, he knew he had played with her heart. that she was far too kind. after everything he'd been through he should have treated her kindly, but ego still bruised he denied himself from truly being a better man.

the letter like the final blow, proved that despite his sunken feeling of being unloveable, someone had always loved him. truly loved him, missed him, and he denied it. maybe not physically, but he should have cherished her presence for what she represented more anything else. their picture only added to the pain he couldnt take from her.

the summer was cruel, while she went away living her dream, his were torn at and made a mockery. this sin was being paid, but yet the ache for reconiliation was all too real in his former heart of stone. he wanted to find anyone who could replace his guilt, his shame, instead he found robin who was somehow sent to further remind him of his sins.

was it wrong, was this crossing a line? possibly. but after the blood he spilled in that mall dried on his face he needed the warmth he had pushed away. once the directory operator transferred his call to her dorm his heart raced with hope. then it happened, when her voice softly spoke.

"hello?" his heart wavered, the fear once more there. he couldnt let this happen again

as best he could he tried to sound as his old self, "i missed you. I'm sorry I-" her voice suddenly cold, "don't. Please don't." The phone clicked, the line now dead, but he couldnt bring himself to remove it from his ear. he didnt know when the tears began or ended but they coaxed him into his sleep.

[actualbird]

got tagged by @theres-a-bea for 15 questions for 15 mutuals tag game, thanks for the tag :D

making a separate post cuz i didnt wanna make the first one too long or ping other ppl with notifs jhVKJHSVFJKSHD

1. are you named after anyone? my legal name, yeah! thanks to the baptism requirements, ive got the name of a saint. not telling u which because it's a kinda uncommon name and i dont wanna get doxxed JVJKSDF

2. when was the last time you cried? this morning, it's part of my routine to just cry in the morning so ive gotten all the pesky emotions out of the way to function mostly normally for the rest of the day jlHVKJS

3. do you have kids? do cats count? these r my two babies, bully and gato

4. do you use sarcasm much? not very much actually!

5. what sports do you play? none. in high school intramurals, i was part of the chess team and the games of the generals team. board games and Thinking is as strenuous as my physical activity gets jkhsvjfkhsvdkf

6. first thing you notice about other people? if IRL, i notice their height. if online, i notice like.....text quirks and stuff. i also like noticing what makes people laugh, cuz i like making ppl laugh and cuz 90% of why ppl keep me around is cuz im the funny guy so i gotta make sure i do my due diligence in keeping that up JKVSKJFVSDKJHF

7. eye color? dark brown

8. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings ALWAYS. i like the angst before the storm but i love a hopeful ending. and ive got a horribly low tolerance for horror JHVSKJDFVS i get....scared very easily....

9. any special talents? too many useless party tricks....i can recite all the countries of europe from memory in under 40 seconds, i can fold a paper crane behind my back or blindfolded, i can twist my right arm 360 degrees, i can make a trilling/purring noise from my throat, i can dislocate my right shoulder. these are all SO useless. but funfact! the countries of europe thing was a talent i showed off in a JOB INTERVIEW once. and then i got hired and ive been working that job for more than a year until now jkHVKJFSDFJVJ SO HEY MAYBE USELESS PARTY TRICKS HAVE THEIR UTILITY SOMETIMES!!

10. where were you born? //taps sign of i dont wanna get doxxed HAKSJFHVS

11. what are your hobbies? reading, writing, drawing, some crafts stuff when the mood hits me (crocheting, origami, making miniatures, sewing)

12. do you have any pets? YES, there were my two babies the cats. and my family is rlly into pets so this house has more animals than humans. we also have 2 labradors, 2 beagles, 1 jack russel terrier/poodle mix, and 1 turtle. it's a fuckin zoo over here

13. how tall are you? five foot one

14. fav subject in school? english!!! anything literature!!!!!!

15. dream job? man, yall got dreams? KJHVSFSKLFSDLJ. idk im a horridly ambitious-less person nowadays. as long as i get paid and im not treated like shit, im good with that

and now to tag........ @samsspambox (I KNOW TRIXIE ALREADY TAGGED U BUT UR THE FIRST WHO COMES TO MIND JFHGVKJSDH), @lukevonhagen, and uhhhh thats everybody i feel comfortable pinging HAHA. no pressure to do it, and everyone else pls feel free to yoink the meme and do it for urself :D

[that-agender-from-pluto]

Can I just rant for a second

(And I ask that you read this in its entirety before sending hate)

Adding a read more bc it's a long post

I don't like the fandoms obsession with Eddie munson

Like, do I think he's an ok character? yeah sure

But some of you treat him like he's the second coming of christ

Y'all treat him like he's a god

And I personally hate that with a burning passion

HE WAS AN ASSHOLE

To Lucas, my baby, my bff

To Steve

To literally anyone he interacted with

And some of you will be like "but he was bullied and he was just trying to protect himself 😔"

Yall will act like he was regularly getting beat up in back alleys when realistically the most that happened was he got called names

He was, as far as we know, the only drug dealer at the high school. No one is going to want to be on his bad side if they ever wanted drugs

He was a three time senior let that sink in

Three time senior

He was 20 in the show or at least almost 20

No teenager is going to go beating up a 20 year old no matter if their in the same school or not

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think anyone is bullying people in a grade above them

You know Jason big bad evil jock basketball player Jason

The most we see before the whole murder thing (which I will get to) is him calling Eddie a freak, and that's it

And Honestly, if I was trying to eat my lunch and some theater kid started standing on tables loudly yelling about things that really don't matter, I would call him a freak too

Jason was a sophomore when Eddie was in his first senior year

Jason is not doing shit to Eddie

But you all will take what he did when they found his girlfriend dead in Eddie's trailer and treat it like it's his everyday life

And this was right in the middle of the satanic panic. So, the rumors of him worshipping the devil make sense for the time. It wasn't anything targeted. It was just what everyone thought about people who played dnd

And can you honestly say that you would react differently than Jason did?

If your girlfriend was found dead in the trailer of the three time senior (again 20 year old) the same senior that has a reputation for dealing drugs and playing a game linked to devil worshipping (again satanic panic it's what most people thought at the time)

Think of it from an outsiders perspective

There's a murderer on the loose, and the police aren't doing shit about it

What would you be doing?

And let's talk about chrissy

We don't know how old she was

We don't know if she was graduating that year

She could have been under 18

If you found out that a 17 year old was found dead in someone's trailer, you would be so angry, and you would be wishing death on whatever predator killed her.

And y'all will say "oh he's an outcast he's someone people who feel like outcasts can look up to"

And like great, im glad you found a character you can relate to

But like did you watch the first three seasons?

The whole show is about outcasts

Lucas is black in a small town in the 80s

Dustin is disabled in a small town in the 80s

Will and Robin are gay in a small town in the 80s

If you were anything other than straight white and able-bodied in the 80s, you were an outcast

Eddie is nothing new

Y'all just like him so much because you think he's hot

And don't even get me started on how y'all treat robin and steve

[ftm-baby-doll]

I’ve noticed people are treating me differently.

i am a student who isn’t popular or even well known. sure, i have many friends from many groups but i don’t really hang out with anyone.

i dont stand out as pretty , or at least i dont think i do. i dont think people usually undress me with their eyes.

but today was different. i was quite tired when i arrived. the sun wasn’t put yet but it was what time i could make the commute. i dragged myself across the empty campus until i found a empty corridor to lay in. i turned off the lights, threw a blanket over me, curled up into a ball, and slept.

about 2 hours later i am finally awaken by a teacher. im so groggy i let them continue the comments of my dead appearance as i wake.

i stumble out of the now filling corridor out into the hallways.

i am almost immediately stopped by a guy my age that has shown interest in me. his gaze tears off my clothes. he mentions my blanket. i tell him i was just asleep. he says i should have invited him.

im nice, well im scared of conflict. i let him say this and i simply nod my head to agree. he smiles wide as he follows me to the food court. he mentions the terrible selection of food. i heckle him and tell him to eat apple sauce as i grab one. we depart ways.

i start walking to where one of the groups of friends i know is usually. quickly i overhear these guys.

“yo she’s really hot look.” i quietly overhear their conversation curious as to who they were talking about

“her?” one of asks with bafflement.

“yeah!” the other responds. then, i notice they are looking at me.

i make a point to pretend to ignore them and im quite good at that. they continue.

“look at her ass!” someone else in the group comments. these pants do fit me. For once i’m not wearing baggy jeans.

i’m so shocked.

i have never been treated like this before.

keep in mind, i dont look outwardly feminine. I have a mullet, i wear all mens clothes, i have a small always binded chest. but, my ass is big and my hips are wide. i hide my curvy waist with my baggy clothing. today i wore a long sleeve boxy shirt and cargo pants.

i continue to walk i cant let this distract me. i turn to see that group of friends is gone. i think through my options of what to do for the next 20 minutes while i search for random people i mutually know.

i call a friend and she begs me to meet her so i oblige. I wait by the entrance of the school. One my mutuals approaches me. i greet her and explain just how tired i am. i turn back around to see the group of guys from before. i accidentally look one of them in the face. he doesnt miss a step. he asks me,

“Your stomach is out. I can see it.”

I turn to look away from him as he speaks to me. i flush with embarrassment. this shirt is lightly cropped. you cant see more than an inch of my waist but i guess its enough to notice. me and the mutual. run away to another corridor. as i frantically search for the girl im meeting, i compain about my problems. i admit to the first person at the school that i take photos of myself nude for others. but, i trust her to not tell.

i meet with the girl i was needing to. she drags me into the girls bathroom to get me high. i swear, these girls on my campus treat me like their dog.

She puts me into a stall and convinces me to smoke more and more by taking another puff herself. once i start loudly complaining about how high i am she tells me i dont have to smoke anymore with a giggle.

one of her friends arrive. they complain about the lack of other drugs on campus while i add useless high comments to the conversation. their decide to go search for their friend. i am dragged into another girls bathroom.

i am off in my own world. this is a normal situation for me. people love to drag me around to get intoxicated with them. i follow cause i usually feel too bad not to. and i mean who says no to free weed?

i dont remember this part. i was too high. i walked to class and got in fine. i got through my first lecture fine.

the next class is in 2 hours. so, while i wait to get hungry i hang out in the weightlifting room.

i go into the lockers and change. i dress into a shirt a size too big and wide legged yoga pants. i head into the weight room to realize that the teachers are gone. Great, now im stuck here. I begrudgingly head into the gymnasium. I find a private corner to myself while i prepare for the next hours of nothing. i begin to lightly stretch my hips. as soon as i stand, i notice another group of boys approaching me. im utterly confused and it shows.

“yo, you’re hot. whats your snap.” the tallest of them ask. i tilt my head to look at him.

“i dont want to.” i snap back. i make a point to sound annoyed.

“ooh! you hear that! she said no!” the other guys heckle the taller.

“come on girl, dont be like that.” he approaches closer.

i quickly move off the wall and walk away hastily. i take refuge next to a guy ive talked to a couple of times. i tell him what happened and he said i should have given them my snapchat. i call him a dick. once the group leaves and the lockers open again, i go in and change.

i finally decided im ready for lunch. i meet up with the girl from the morning and begin to recount what is happening to me today. she tells me they’re just trying to make fun of me. i dont care either way honestly.

i eat lunch and head to my classes unbothered. well, that was until my last lecture.

me and my professor are friends. none of the students are allowed to know he talks to me privately out of school. i do nothing this class period but react to how dumb his students are with him.

Some guy who sat next to me today started talking to me. i ignore him for the first 10 minutes until i finally snap.

i ask annoyed, “what? is there something you want? how can i help?”

he asks “how old are you?”

i say just as annoyed my age. he sounds in disbelief as he realizes that i am younger than him. i go back to ignoring him.

the men sat right behind me are friends with him i think. i notice how they make comments on how my body looks. i am so shocked but i won’t confront them. i don’t want them to know i can hear them.

the guy gives me a piece of paper. i ask my only friend in the class to read it for me. it says simply “talk 2 me baby”

i look at the guy in belief. he smiles.

-

-

i felt like a total slut today. i loved it. i don’t know what i did today to get this attention but oh isnt it nice.

i wonder if someone on campus has seen my naked body before. hell, im sure so but do they know it was me? im so curious as to what would happen if everyone found out what a slut i am. but, lets hope ot doesnt happen haha~

[thoughtstheydontwanttohear]

For CK, the true gem you are

If anyone makes sure he sees this let me know.

They all said i would eventually run away

No matter what my actions were, their thoughts i could not sway

I did more than what was expected

Every task of yours besides your job, i perfected

But still you shunned the things i did 

Chastised and yelled at me like i was your kid

You said it was because i didn't understand finances

Little did you know that i had stolen more than a few glances

Your troubles i couldn't correct overnight that fact was the topic for a fight

Everything i attempted, you shot down thus i could never make it right

It was all for naught, the love you claimed you had for me looking like an empty lot

All the evidence i saved, all the times i caved even after knowing i was right and you were caught

You still couldn't bear to tell the truth or did you honestly believe that would be the thing that would finally make my anger go through the roof?

It wouldn't be the degrading things you forced on me or your gum disease complete with its dead tooth?

I prayed for years for you to get better 

I tried everything even dumb love letters

Still, you couldn't help but take me to the lowest place i've ever been

As if destroying an already dying girl is truly a win

Im convinced now that there's absolutely no way you have a soul

Someone like you preying on vulnerability is nothing more than a mole

Sent by the worst demons themselves laughing at your inevitable heartbreak

You thought I would just let your gluttony stifle me as you choked down that last piece of cake?

You promised you would never leave my side and you would always right the wrongs

Creating an environment where i could feel the deceit, not needing to find your lovers thongs

Staying out of sight until the nights darkness would fall upon the house we rented 

Always with a long explanation as to where it was that you were in the time that was spent

I knew you were worse than trouble something broken and yet i didn't listen

I assumed your emotional risk was as low as your iq since you wouldn't be accepted to any school let alone princeton

My fault that i allowed myself to be so arrogant in the beginning

Allowing the world wind of your love bombing to leave me spinning

You're nothing more than the longest rebound this world has ever seen

Only because i was drunk and high were my senses not so keen

The knives you found in all my hidden places, the blood-stained footprints all over you checked everyone but never saw the obvious traces

Still i changed my pajama pants unable to take that chance

How incredibly insensitive your friends started seeing you for what you are

Just a narcissistic man so remotely far from a star

Your mediocrity finally showing through

I laugh now because your lack of human emotions are out and there's nothing you can do

Your family saw every attempt i initiated

I was the only one that ever cared even after you made me feel unappreciated

Remember when you slipped that disc in your back

Where were those friends you claimed would pick up the slack?

Oh that's right it was just me carting you around

Never complaining, always accepting your weaknesses, careful not to make a sound

Who was there every time you ran out of gas?

Who brought you work equipment in a pinch to save your ungrateful ass?

Who did all of your cooking, cleaning, wife responsibilities?

Nobody ever treated you the way i did, all of it was always me

But you run around town ripping my name through the dirt

Why did someone you wanted gone leaving you really hurt?

You'd say it all the time how you did it all without my assistance 

Yet you’re being spiteful and there is no coincidence

You thought you could run around calling me a drunk and an addict

You never thought there would come a time when i said this is enough I have had it

Smile in my face and twist the knife in my back 

There was more than your shrimp dick that you lack

Common decency for instance was the top of the list

The way you would never let me walk off, always grabbing my wrist

If i did that to you, you would grab me by my hair and slam me to the floor

Screaming i made you do it and that i was a whore 

How many of your things did I ever break ?

How many of the gifts did you give and decide to take?

It was always a double standard you had above my head

Making me not want to stay but to leave instead 

All i was to you was a vulnerable target 

Something so easily discarded like a piss soaked carpet

Seems like despite my best it was never enough

My spirit you tried to snuff

How's it feel to know i am never going to be embraced in your arms

How's it feel knowing if someone breaks in I will not be there to protect you now you have to rely on the alarm?

Do you still not know how to use your collateral gun?

Only partying with your incest-driven sisters still for fun?

How i knew there was something weird going on with you and them

Your womanizing well had to come from somewhere if not from mommy, where was the stem?

They say the root of all evil is money and greed

If only they knew what it was like to be rejected while carrying your disease-ridden seed

I dont think a day will ever pass that i don't allow myself time to put my toes in the grass

Thank god for the pain but more so that you and i did not last

As Taylor Swift wrote to your twin,

I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside

you deserve prison but you wont get time