#this is about jonathan jarchivist sims <3

[eggnoodles0up]

i feel like this has been said already but i will truly never understand jonmartin having pet names idk if im just aroace but with ghe way Jon jsut says Martin's name ??????? oh my gOD a pet name could NEVER compare

[vanillaflowerstuff]

more characters from tma (click for better quality)

[part one]

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[lizard-queen-izzy]

Fuck it, it's 2 am and I've enabled the toggle.

You get Izzy art crumbs.

Tim doodle from work

[jonsmissingribs]

My fellow desi Jon enjoyers, tell me would Martin putting Tere Naina in a romance playlist would be too soon or nah?

[imaginaryskeleton]

Thinking about Jonathan Sims (again)

[see-arcane]

“AaaaaaaAAAAAH” —a brief review of today’s @re-dracula entry

A longer review:

-Ohhhh, but Mina the Vampire in Progress is deliciously creepy. Kudos once again on her voice acting and the little punctuation of Dracula’s laughter echoing through hers

-Same for the Weird Sisters’ return and—just ‘cause—the Big Fancy Tomb reveal. (Notably not King Laughing about it when Dr. Abe filled it with wafers, huh, you evil ba(t)stard)

-I think I perchance heard a little smidge of Jonathan Jarchivist Sims slipping into today’s bit of Jack Seward. Something about the whole ‘heading into supernatural horror and the nigh guarantee of death or worse’ of it all

-Aww, no piercing soul-wail from Mina :( Only chill mournful tones :(

-Didn’t have time to languish due to the Extremely Present death-shriek/meaty heart-staking noises in my ear, 11/10 on the unsettlingness

-Voluptuous count off the charts

-MINA SAID THE THING! SHE KNOWS HER HUSBAND IS COMING!! NO TRANCE, NO DRACULA, ALL HER PSYCHIC JONATHAN RADAR!!!

-I can’t wait for the next entry to destroy me entirely <3

[cult-of-the-eye]

What experience I would give as a statement to Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London? Statement fucking begins...

Summer after GCSEs, whole fam picks up and goes to India for 3 weeks

Listen we are hubristic. We literally go from Britain to Turkey to Delhi airport, to a different airport, to Banaras in a taxi, to Siliguri in a sleeper train, to Kalimpong in a car, back to Siliguri in a van, then to Kolkata in a sleeper bus, to Dhakha, Bangladesh by plane, to my grandparents place in Sylhet by car, then back to Dhakha, then back to Delhi, then back to Turkey and then back to Britain.

Tell me we didn't have at least one entity on our side.

None of us got ill. We had a 6 yr old with us. She didn't complain one bit. I'm 100% sure I blacked out for the majority of it. No other explanation than paranormal.

Those sales assistants in shops have to be fucking avatars of the web or something the way they fucking smile and you until you've blinked and you've bought 3 lehengas and she's like very good ma'am

I met my grandma's sister who looks exactly like my grandma, speaks the exact same way, acts the exact same way. It was so uncanny I could've sworn she just was her. Probably very normal explanation (genetics) but we can never be sure.

I made friends with a hand sized spider in a bathroom by singing "Mr spider, please don't kill me" in the tune of Mr sandman to it every day. It disappeared on the last day. (giving spiral)

I got myself an Indian accent. I am not Indian. (Most of my family is from Bangladesh, I was born there) I am not good at accents. I'm not sure how this transpired (could be some elaborate sociolinguistics explanation but I'm gonna go with paranormal)

We went on a massive family day out with cousins to a river near the mountains and we all had a great time until this little menace of a cousin literally got carried away by a current and we were terrified until one of my uncles literally grabbed him by the leg and yanked him out right before he would've gotten completely carried away. I don't think that's pure luck, personally.

My aunts staged an intervention for me about my posture (Not supernatural, Im just salty)

My dad successfully convinced some strangers who sat next to him on the plane that the reason me and my siblings spoke such good English was that we went to an English medium school. When pressed, he came up with the most elaborate story ever. He gave them a random school we went to, told them we were his boss' kids and he was taking us home, bullshitted a company and then when one of them went oh my dad is a higher up in that company, he says oh didn't he retire recently and the guy goes yeah he did! We are completely oblivious of this story, until he leans over and tells us not to call him dad for the rest of the plane journey. If that's not fucking Stranger behaviour then what is.

We get home, exhausted out of our minds and we realise we can't find our fucking front door key. We pile into the back garden and proceed to search through the entirety of our bags, trouser pockets, pockets within bags, we're all on the verge of tears, I'm catatonic, my little sister has picked up a stick and is slowly peeling it, my other sister is the only one actually looking and my dad is staring at the luggage, as if it had grown legs and was doing a little dance right before his eyes. We do find the keys after 20 minutes. We never mention this again. That's fucking paranormal shit right there don't even try to convince me otherwise. Michael the distortion was fucking with us.

Statement ends... (Although that's definitely not even half the shit that happened)

Watch Jonathan "Jarchivist" Sims crumble beneath my experiences. Hes so bamboozled that he forgets to try and discredit me. I bring him a packet of laddoos and some aachar.

[go-to-the-mirror]

look, hear me out, hot jon ri- [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER]

@a-mag-a-day

One thing you should know about me is that i will defend jonathan sims head archivist of the magnus institute london to my dying bloody breath. Another thing you should know about me is that i can do nuance, i just don't want to a lot of the time.

But. I will, put my... love... for the Jarchivist... to one side. sort of. a little bit. Look, you can't be unbiased, an attempt is all you're gonna get, mate.

But like, let it be known that I have talked extensively about scrutiny on my story, and most of it wasn't "but i love him, so, <3" actually most of it was "headinhands, jon, why"

Like, yk? Why didn't we see this coming, he's an Avatar, he's a monster, it's not making what he's doing better -- obviously -- but like, I feel like it's like... it's like... yk? we knew it in a theoretical way, and then we're like, oh, yeah, he doesn't get protagonist privileges.

I'm just rambling at this point, so, let's get onto the relisten, I guess, and I'll freak out there

ARCHIVIST The tape recorder. [SUDDEN INHALATION FROM BASIRA] BASIRA Get ready. Any idea what’s coming?

i think it's neat that they're realising that tape recorder on = (rqg pessimistic train driver voice) DOOOOOOM!

ARCHIVIST No, I… I think… [Calling out] Excuse me?

Jonathan "I don't think it's me doing it" Sims when he literally calls the guy back, fuck Jon, that's not okay!

SHIPHAND I don’t know you. ARCHIVIST [Archly] But I know you.

[ID: Marina and the Diamonds Smirk Meme /End ID]

look, hear me out-

LIKE OK HRHNR ITS COOL OKAY! IT'S COOL! IT'S AWFUL, BUT IT'S COOL!!

BASIRA Jon, I’m not sure about this. ARCHIVIST I am. Tell me what happened.

(tim voice) don't do it.

like, jon, jon, no, fuck? what the fuck, jon headinhands, headinfuckinghands

this is the theme of this ramble, okay? just headinhands but also his voice tho-

ARCHIVIST Whenever you’re ready.

it's so creepy, he's so creepy! that's just like- "whenever you're ready" SPOOOKY!!!! im kicking my legs i just think it's NEAT oKAY

The thing that was grabbing him, trying to reach down his throat and pull him apart… it was a pattern. Diamonds and swirls and colours that seemed to imprint itself upon his skin even as it pushed itself messily into his nose and mouth.

THAT'S SO COOL! I mean, uh, sucks to be him, but that's hnnrhrhnrnh <3333 it's so spooky and weird and I love it.

I followed slowly, unsteadily, but got there just in time to see Salesa throw both him and what looked like a blank rug over the side and into the ocean.

So, the pattern comes from the rug and then... attaches itself to people and/or things? That's neat!

He was drunk for the next two days, and we kept sailing on towards Cape Town.

:D I was so happy when I heard this on my first listen :3 like yay! South Africa is mentioned :3 I'm South African :3

Come to think of it, Floyd might have an Afrikaans accent. Don't quote me on that, I'm not sure, but I think so.

There was a storm over the island. I don’t know where it came from, it can’t have been more than a minute since I’d last looked at it, an-and the skies were completely clear. But now it was covered in lightning, the rolling clouds above it dark and angry.

So, the camera was keeping the island not sinking.

So I jumped ship the next chance I got. And I have tried ever since then to leave those memories behind me.

Would be lovely if someone *cough cough* Jon *cough cough* would let him. He's going to have nightmares about this till Jon dies. Like, poor him. That sucks, like even with Jess, she was leaving it behind, she was getting better and he took that from her. The bastard, christ Jon, you can't just do this to people, you can't just ruin their bloody lives because you're feeling peckish.

ARCHIVIST [Soothingly] You can go. FLOYD Erm… I, I don’t… ARCHIVIST Thank you Floyd. You’ve been… very helpful. FLOYD C— ARCHIVIST It’s alright, Floyd. You just… need a break.

I just like the way he says it, when Jon's being all monster-y, in this episode, sometimes when he's talking to Helen, I think, in MAG 187, and of course in the Crew Retrospective (speaking of, if you have stuff about the crew retrospective, please tag me, I want to see it), it's so suave, and for what. Charisma of 1, unless he's being... evil. I love him, I love that, it's so bloody suave, and charismatic, and smooth. He knows exactly what he's doing, he's in his element. Oh god, he's in his element.

Look, he may be slightly evil, but he's doing it with style, damn.

Like "It's alright, Floyd. You just... need a break" and it's like!!! HMNnn!!! No, Jon! You shouldn't be doing this to people, but also like hnhrhfhhnh so fucking cool!

ARCHIVIST Yes, Basira, he is. And I am sorry about that. But we needed it. Anyway you’re the one who wants to be like Gertrude. You think she’d give a damn about a few bad dreams? BASIRA No. ARCHIVIST No. She got the job done, and didn’t care about the cost. BASIRA But I thought you did. ARCHIVIST … I had to know, Basira. BASIRA It wasn’t right. ARCHIVIST You could have stopped me.…But you wanted to know as well, didn’t you?

Mr. Jarchivist Sims, your flimsy rationalizations are visible from space, you didn't want to be like Gertrude, you don't want to be like Gertrude, good lord, man, just... good lord.

I don't know what to say, I'm shaking this episode vigorously /pos

Ramble over! See y'all tomorrow where I'll be once again setting aside my flimsy belief (not even a belief) that Jonathan Sims did NOTHING WRONG if you ignore everything he did wrong.

End recording.

[ceaseless-rambler]

Hey uh this isn't really a question just wanna say I found a comment of yours on a random post, which led me to your blog, which led me to the Google docs file you made about the mechs? Which led to me listening to them. Their whole concept is really cool! Almost reminds me of a Kpop group (not with the style but with the worldbuiding and lore). Their music is amazing!! My only issue is that I keep imaging Jonathan Sims the Jarchivist singing the songs hshs. Anyway that's all. thanks for helping me find cool music :D) <3

HI I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THEM!!! I also had the Jarchivist issue, and in fact have a post about it somewhere. Lyfrassir Edda has the Jarchivist voice and lines that sound like they could be from TMA so it was definitely strange at first. I'm so happy my google doc led you to them though, that's wonderful and I'm always so happy to drag anyone into the mechs

[transmasc-wizard]

hi i'm here to talk to you a little about some of the tma/tftgs crossover rp's i have been in lately. i say "have been" even tho they are all still in progress, i just need to respond to most of them ASDFJKL

none of them have much in the way of worldbuilding put into them just yet, especially b/c they're all pretty early on and mainly just fun character interactions (though none of them have met jack yet), but i will summarize each of them so far for u:

spencer fucking middleton gets his hands on a leitner for a mysterious client who wants him to find a very specific one. gerry keay is currently trying to convince him to Not Fucking Take The Leitner for his own safety, and spencer is, predictably, being a dick about it. if this thread ends with spencer getting his ass kicked i will not be surprised.

spencer fucking middleton meets simon fairchild by chance, and simon takes an interest in spencer and tries to strike up a conversation. spencer just kinda wants to be left the fuck alone and is, predictably, very rude to him.

agnes montague happens to be passing through the area and comes to the gas station, where she meets rosa vasquez, the only clerk on duty. rosa, while making small-talk, ends up accidentally revealing some of the weird shit that happens in this area, which immediately has agnes Very Very Interested.

jon jarchivist sims, approximately sometime during s4 if i am remembering right, ends up kinda stumbling near the gas station and picks up on the fact that Weird Fucking Shit happens here, and he immediately goes to investigate. on the way, he meets my mans antonio vargas, who immediately does not trust him, and currently the two are having a very tense faceoff in which they are both Very Wary of each other but also very curious.

oh and i'm not sure if we're gonna do anything with it but we've also talked a little about doing one with like. a specific AU of gerry meeting jack and the two becoming kinda awkward friends, or at least coming to an understanding.

oh also it's worth noting i'm also in some RPs where my OCs juno and knives each have met some tma characters (simon and gerry respectively).

Reactions, In Order:

Gerry hasn't gotten to beat anyone up since the incident with Leitner so i think kicking Spencer's ass will be good for him. enclosure enrichment!! i am interested in hearing more about this if you Have More (i love gerry sm)

SIMON MY BELOVED.......... VOID GRANDPA...... ok. that out of the way. i am interested to see if this ends up with spencer being yeeted into the sun by an old man with sky powers

omg agnes is making fremds?????? fremds for agnes montague perhaps???? i hope she has pleasant and strange adventures in the gas station

oh, so Jonathan Sims finds out something is weird and probably dangerous and immediately throws himself into the adventure with no hesitation?? smh a bit out of character

if you ever do anything involving gerry you legally have to tell me about it. Legally. for real it is in the laws. especially when its also involving a character named knives

i think juno would have the ability to throw simon off a cliff :3

[disregardcanon]

end of year writing meme 2023

Total Stories Written: 17

Total Words Written: 70,420

Average Words Per Story: 4,142

Shortest Story: Hair-Raising Tale, a Jonathan Sims character study

Longest: The Maid of Honor Made Them Do It, a Hatchetfield horror-comedy

Most Kudos: If You Show a God-Child Some Kindness, He'll Never Let You Go i really just hit the kairotic jackpot with this one, considering when i posted and the energy within the fandom

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

since i've finally lowered my expectations on word count from when i was a lonely high school and college student, i'd say i wrote what i expected to write.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write most?

pairing: jackieshauna from yellowjackets! they had their own fic and had a smattering of moments throughout my other yellowjackets fics

genre: horror-comedy

fandom: yellowjackets

all fandoms from the year:

the owl house: 2

dragon age: absolution: 1

camp here and there: 1

wolf 359: 1

the magnus archives: 3

succession: 2

yellowjackets: 4

hatchetfield: 2

What  pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted  in January?

i didn't expect to get back into starkid of all things

Did you take any writing risks this year?

i wrote a lot of fics that i knew wouldn't really appeal to people, so i gave up a lot of comments and kudos i guess?

Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

i want to get back to writing melting pot. i make no promises, but it would be nice

From the past year of writing, what was your…

Best story of this year: God Honoring Cannibalism! this story has everything! the yellowjackets stuck in the woods, elaborating on crystal's character, historical research, cannibal musical references, lottielee romantically promising to eat each other, jackieshauna breaking each other's hearts, and i feel like it really works as a story just as much as a joke. hands down the thing i'm proudest of writing this year

Personal favorite: Flipping off the Devil this is a fic for small spaces, a middle grade horror series that i loved but that disappointed me a lot in the second half. it was a great way to explore what i think would have made the books stronger and it was really fun to work with the characters

Most  under-appreciated: part of your world (in which "world" means HELL) this w359 fic was a spinoff for a really cool supernatural inspired au. i thought i did a really good job of bringing alana maxwell's recruitment episode into it, but it was so niche that no one read it. disappointed, but understandable

Most fun to write: how the world was looking in the spring was so much fun. it let me do some fun historical research, write about grade school (which i LOVE) and give a fandom that doesn't get much fluff some very cute little lesbians <3

Story with the single sexiest moment: The Maid of Honor Made Them Do It. This is almost solely because it's the only fic that remembers sex exists, but also... stephanie lauter... it's not my fault your honor she's just <3 <3 <3

Most challenging to write: History's Longest Suicide Note! I'd been tinkering around with this tma fic for a very long time, and it was really hard to dig into the actual consequences of Jarchivist getting his way for the end of the world. Because it was NOT going to be pretty, and I wanted to try to show that to the best of my ability

Biggest disappointment: you can join the hive. i'm still not sure how well i captured the dynamics in this, and since it's a fic about travis martinez in yellowjackets i certainly wasn't going to get. like. positive feedback from the fandom, sigh.

Favorite character to write: grace chastity! it's a joy to write for all the hatchetfield characters, but grace just brings such a funny and tragic chaos to whatever she's in

Favorite opening lines:

Jess Jordan knew how to handle Kendall Roy. She’s been doing it for years, after all. She’s been there since he was young and freshly married and thought he was going to make some ethical super-company entirely separate from his father. She’s been with him through an adoption, a birth, multiple stints in rehab, multiple separations from Rava, a divorce, the death of his father and then his installation of a fascist.

A Frog Leaves Her Pot

Favorite closing lines:

The Wilderness did not get to keep them; it never truly had them in this world at all, thanks to a weird little theater kid and a devout Christian who watched a movie.

God Honoring Cannibalism

Other favorite lines:

So Amity grins wide, baring her teeth, as she holds a hand up towards her face in that intimidating, condescending way that she used to do so often and deftly. “So what does that make you?” She looks him up and down, trying to send him her most condescending look. “The Emperor’s abomination?” 

I Tried to Get Better (How Did You Make Me Worse?)

“I’ll try- try to figure out some way for us to be normal again, okay Soph?” her mom asks. Sophie Roy, uberwealthy transracial adoptee who doubts she could ever be "normal", nods awkwardly. Then her mom helps them get settled at the table and they eat dry, slightly burnt waffles together and drink average coffee.

You're Not Elected, Sophie Roy

“I saw what happened to Jackie,” Javi tells him, eyes wide and scared, “ what you did .” Wait. Javi- Javi saw that? Is that what his brother sees every night when he wakes up screaming and Travis wonders, desperately, why Javi won’t just use that voice to talk to him ? 

Travis isn’t just a shitty big brother, one who’s sometimes mean and doesn’t stick up for him and steals his stuff- now he’s what haunts Javi’s nightmares.

you can join the hive

“We’re going to be counselors now!” Sydney chirps, “we get to mold the youth!” Jedidiah, frankly, would rather let mold grow on the youth than help them.

There's Nothing Wrong with Ohio

[fishofthewoods]

i'll admit I haven't been the best at keeping up with re:dracula, so I hadn't listened to any Seward episodes til today--I'd seen people posting about the Jon Jarchivist jumpscare and thought "oh that's fun, I've only listened to 3 episodes of tma (got too scared) so I probably wont recognize his voice but oh well!" and in my hubris I assuemd I was safe from the Jarchivist Jumpscare but no. Was listening to the stuff I missed and holy fuck thats jonathon fucking sims. youve got the wrong jonathan send him home where he belongs.

[friendpleasedonttakeyourlifeaway]

I posted 645 times in 2022

That's 605 more posts than 2021!

4 posts created (1%)

641 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pussypopcorn

@hawkfurze

@pwesident

@starfleetrambo

@sm0kebreaks

I tagged 48 of my posts in 2022

#the magnus archives - 5 posts

#tma - 4 posts

#jonathan sims - 4 posts

#tumblr milestone - 2 posts

#absolutely - 2 posts

#statement remains - 2 posts

#tma fandom - 1 post

#jarchivist - 1 post

#october 10 - 1 post

#wait! - 1 post

Longest Tag: 89 characters

#because i have done the decode these codes to find out about new content thing many times

My Top Posts in 2022:

#4

500 posts!

0 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#3

crash

0 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#2

i haven't gotten any ads on tumblr in a while, just blank screens which is an interesting glitch

0 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

50000 likes!

1 note - Posted November 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fox-guardian]

he's a sweetheart he's a bitch he's just a little guy he's so very powerful he's the kindest of souls he's SO rude he means everything to me

[teafer]

there are many disadvantages to being an archivist :/

[tiabwwtws-art]

Please give the archivist some answers. Some information. A couple of facts