#this is about to be me tomorrow: HELLO PSYCHOLOGY? I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS. 😂

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

As much as I've been feeling like a shitty friend lately just kidding I always feel that way. Phew! Is it the insecurity? Probably! Yep, I better fucking work on that, because god damn that is my own fucking problem! No sarcasm, not to toot my own horn but just these past two/three days I've finally felt like I've been a really great friend and said some really awesome shit to them to make them feel supported and :') ...god. God damn. It's just really nice when the words work for me again, and I can finally think of exactly what I intend to say to my friends. Because (as I implied earlier) I do often feel like what I have to offer them is highly inadequate in comparison to what they offer me in our friendship, and since words and being thoughtful (and patient and a good listener) are, I feel, my best qualities that I can offer my friends, it feels so good when all parts of those things finally feel like enough to me. Fuck. It's better than drugs or whatever else people think is the pinnacle of the human experience. lol

I'm just. :') I love my friends so much and I always endeavor to properly convey that to them. Which also means I feel especially shitty when I think or feel like I've failed to do so! Ahhh I am...truly fragile! and insecure, or whatever.