#this is an actual cry of help why cant i focus on important things

[livinginpool]

im literally throwing up i cant stop drawing random shit in ms paint what even was i trying to say here

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[angy-grrr]

thoughts:

Himiko Toga never chose a villain name because she has always been the monster and demon for others, internalizing it. But also because she isnt trying to be someone else, but proudly show herself and her love -AFO exploited this to reaffirm the previous, so she never even realized she could give her blood for others.

Ochako Uraraka's goal and arc isn't finished until we see a few main points: "who will save heroes?" A discussion about heroism and saving, and I wouldnt be too surprised if saving villains also come up here as a developed version of the first. They are all people, and that's what matters over their assigned roles. "Himiko Toga". Where is she? Ochako's arc can't be finished until we see or hear what ended up happening. "What does she feel about it all?" She needs a resolution and express her feelings, and with the hiding she has done recently I cant help but wonder even more about Himiko's state, as she is the person who makes Ochako feel safe enough to talk about her thoughts. And lastly"You like him, dont you?" What will happen with her love for Izuku? Is she going to hide it, confess, talk about it more with Himiko? I still think about "the reveal" during her fight with her, and her hair covering her whole face... It could be because she "needs" to tell and show her whole face to Izuku*. I would prefer it another way tho

*She said she admires Himiko for being able to say her feelings and love who she does with her whole face, if I remember correctly, while remembering an Izuku who is looking somewhere (someone?) else smiling. I believe its important that she doesnt have her face shown there, but we still dont have a clear reason why. Is she just not able to show that love to Himiko because she hasn't shown Izuku first? Is it because she no longer feels it? In the next panel she says shes now going to stop her, we can see her face, and her mouth is covered in blood. Is it because their battle was never about him? Because she is ashamed of those feelings? Because she doesn't want to engage in them?

With chapter 425 taking us by surprise because of her first interaction with Midoriya after the war, I prefer to think she has her hair covering her face because she still can't be honestly herself with him. Partially? Yes completely, but she can't tell him her feelings like with Himiko.

I hope she expresses her feelings to the class, to her parents, her friends, the civilians... but I really don't think a confession to him and him only would solve anything.

She doesn't want or can't chase him and his feelings like with Himiko; Izuku is acting weird, upset about many things, and she doesn't see that, im sure she would have tried to help if she actually knew. Even tho she looks around to find a crying Himiko, she doesn't try to do the same now, and in fact rejects it; she decided her feelings are not for him or others to see, at least at the moment.

So how does Hori plan to change this in such little time? Is Izuku going to chase after her, when thats what he has always done with everything he wants? Doesn't he deserve to be chased back? Doesnt she deserve the right to decide how much of herself she wants to reveal to him? Or mourn the loss in her own terms, in case Toga's dead or she thinks she is?

With her feelings for both Midoriya and Toga she has tried to put heroism first, focus only on that; with the first one because she fails at her goals and just blindly imitates him without finding herself, and the second one because she shouldn't feel that way and questions herself over those quite frequently.

I have no idea if Horikoshi plans to make her put her feelings first for him over heroism like she did with her -risking it and acting against what a hero "should" do so they can both just be Himiko Toga and Ochako Uraraka.

I have no idea, but it would make me so sad if he did.

EDIT:

In chapter 424 we see Shoto first in the hospital, when the narration explains things cant be as simple as Deku thought as a kid. Then Ochako appears, with her arm over her stomach probably thinking about her fight. It can't end so easily, and I wouldnt be surprised if chapter 427 or 428 was about them.

Fun thought: what if Himiko is the one about to see Spinner? jkjkjk. It could be cute tho.

[team-mavericks]

Later...

Jet kicks open the front door of the Maverick base with a loud thud. He is holding an almost comically large bouquet of flowers with both hands. He yells as if making a war cry.

"MAKOTOOOO!!"

Makoto was still there in the main room, patiently waiting for the flowers she knew Jet was getting for her anxiously. Hearing him yell made her jump in fear, but is quickly able to dismiss it as Jet just being hyper like he usually is. She can't see his face right now behind the beautiful arrangement, but she wishes she could see his urgent face.

"Y-yes, Jet! I'm right here!" She's already blushing.

Jet follows the sound of her voice, awkwardly. He can almost see through the flowers, but he isn't confident in where he is stepping at all.

"We have known each other for a long time now." Jet starts as he waddles over. "It shouldn't be surprising that I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to what day it is. We all know I'm stupid some of the... all the times. I wanted to give you flowers on Valentines Day... but I goofed. So I hope this is still an acceptable gift, despite being so late."

By the end of his sentence, he was already in front of her. Makoto gently reaches up and parts the flowers so they could see each other's face. She smiles shyly as she sees his look of embarrassment.

"I love them... but... Why flowers? You've never done something like this before." She's trying to get him to talk about why it was important to him that he gave her this. She wants to believe this is a sign, so very much.

"I..." Yeah, he is so embarrassed that he is blushing as well. He doesn't actually have a good answer lined up. He felt like it was something he wanted to do, but he wasn't sure why. So he wings it on his reason, but still speaks truth. "... You are just... very special to me. And I wanted you to feel special as well. I... I can't bring myself to think about what my life was like before you came along. You make me feel... whole, you know? Like we were meant to... find each other."

He would keep going if she let him, but she giggles as she can see him struggle. She speaks up so he can stop overloading his brain with things to say.

"I feel the same way, Jet..." She speaks softly. "Maybe... even more than that... But it's hard to get it out of my mouth in a way you'd understand... You've given me so much, more than you realize."

Jet hides behind the flowers a little more, starting to blush even more. "... I still wanted to do this. It felt like the right thing to do. You are one of the best aspects of my life, and I love you, Makoto."

They both felt something when Jet said that last part. Jet has said he loves her many times in the past, but to him, this time felt different. Makoto knows this wasn't a confession like she hoped, but she still felt so happy that she started to cry.

"I love you too..." Makoto sniffles. "I love you too, Jet. Thank you. For everything."

He feels a little bad seeing her cry, even if it's with happiness. He has so many thoughts bouncing around in his head, and most of them are screaming in confused panic.

"What do you say... We pretend like tomorrow is Valentines Day? Just you and me, out and about. To make up for me forgetting." He tries to shift the focus a little so she doesn't cry anymore.

Makoto nods softly and finally puts her hands slightly above his to grab the flowers from him.

"I'd really like that, Jet... It's a date."

"Y-yeah." And he's not sure why, but he's really happy she said yes. He might need to talk to someone about this. He lets go of the flowers and lets her take it. "I, um... I still gotta do some work, so... I'll let you figure out a good place for these."

Makoto can't see him anymore, but she makes a noise of approval. She listens as he walks away... she swears she can hear him stop to look back at her for just a moment. By the time she turns so she can look over, he turns back around and heads back to his room. She cant help but sigh happily, finally giving the flowers a nice and slow sniff.

Michael walks up to Makoto holding the large assortment of flowers and raises an eyebrow.

"Looks like things are getting pretty serious between you two. Congrats."

Makoto jumps, as if she forgot they all share a living space. She didn't even consider that they might have had an audience this whole time, considering the way Jet kicked open the door and shouted for her.

"W-whatever do you mean, Michael? That was just... how things are."

Michael shakes his head. "I'm talking about the flowers."

Michael then starts pointing to the different flowers in the bouquet.

"Amaryllis—Pride. Bittersweet—Truth. Primrose—I can’t live without you. Orchid—Love. Forget-me-not—True love. Dandelion—Faithfulness. Pink Carnation—I’ll never forget you. Seems like every flower in that bouquet points to an unbreakable bond of romance. This is the kind of arrangement most married women dream of receiving."

Makoto's face just gets redder and redder as Michael says the meaning behind some flowers. That's definitely not all of them, but they all say positive things.

"I-I-I'm sure he didn't plan it like this." Makoto knows better than to think Jet of all people would know that there were meanings behind flowers.

"Maybe not. But I wouldn't write it off as a coincidence." Michael shrugs before walking away as he finishes his thought. "Most flower places will make an arrangement based on the message you want to share. Whatever he told them... gave you a bouquet that screams I want to start a family."

And Makoto is going to die of a heart attack. She's just gonna... shuffle these into her room... Scream into her pillow... Maybe look up each flower online... She won't be getting much sleep with how loud she is internally screaming. Especially if Michael is right.

[quodekash]

FINALLY IM WATCHING THE ABAAB EPISODE 

i was so busy the last couple of days and the only moments i wasnt busy i was exhausted and fell asleep unwillingly (either that or i was having a mental breakdown but thats neither here nor there) 

ANYWAY IM HERE NOW, FOUR DAYS LATE BUT IM HERE 

note from the future: i mention how pretty everyone is a LOT in this episode. so take a shot of water every time i mention someone (or perhaps their hair) being pretty. stay hydrated, kids. 

now the question is. what the hell happened last episode because i have, once again, forgotten everything 

there was the thing that happened with thoop’s sister that i dont rly want to put in words because it disgusts me 

thoop apologised for what he said to/about guncher 

umm.... guncher had a sexy sexy scene at the end 

jack is still pretty and his hair is still pretty 

OH AND THREEZO KISSED, I REMEMBER THAT 

okay im all caught up, let’s get to it 

bro what the hell 

“i just love you” awwww 

“you love me every time you do me” noW HOL’ UP A SEC 

“come on cher, have sympathy for me” “Why would i do that?” “because im cute and adorable” he’s got me there. he is, in fact, very cute and adorable 

and pretty 

theyre all pretty 

why is everyone pretty 

guys im pan i cant deal with this rn 

AWWWW THE CHEEK KISSSSSS 

guys im a sucker for affectionate cheek kisses. i think akkayan broke me bc that cheek kiss in episode 10? jeez i am not okay. i think about that scene more than i am willing to admit. 

actually no, im willing to admit it 

i love akayan so much 

anyway, we’re not akkayaning rn, we’re abaabing 

NOOOO IT’S CHER’S LAST DAY AT WORKKKKK im almost certainly gonna cry 

weLL NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS SOUNDWIN 

EVERY TIME I TRY TO FOCUS ON WHAT’S HAPPENING ON THE SCREEN MY BRAIN IS LIKE ‘ooo look at the brainrot hyperfixation people’ and im like BRO CONCENTRATE ON T H I S BRAINROT and my brain is like ‘nahhhhhhh we can focus on it laterrrrr, like when youre trying to do something important but realise you havent watched the episode yet and its been days, how about then!’ 

anyway 

i keep getting sidetracked 

sorry 

the adhd meds wore off hours ago and ive had two cups of hot chocolate today (one which i just had) so the brain thoughts are more everywhere than usual 

anyway 

anD NOW IM THINKING ABOUT YAK FROM MSP 

WILL I EVER GET A MOMENT OF PEACE 

JUST LET ME WATCH THE FREAKING EPISODE 

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS BRAIN 

i got distracted for an hour and a half. whoops. (raise your hand if youre surprised? that’s right, no one raised their hands. anyway lets get back into this.) 

“can i join you” BRO IS SO HORNY RN, JEEZ 

GUYS WE FINALLY MADE IT TO THE INTRO, IT ONLY TOOK LIKE TWO HOURS 

okay so i just started crying 

i havent seen his hair on my screen in literally 11 days 

this is a really emotional moment for me 

i love his hair so much 

jack your hair is perfection 

someone needs to tell mike chinnarat that his hair is perfection 

i love him so much 

help 

hes also so pretty 

look at his prettiness 

hes so pretty 

anyway 

i love how he’s walking in on them gossiping about his best friend, he’s gonna talk them down 

(but also i can totally see him squealing and giggling and getting his nails done with them and gossiping a bunch about chergun (just not the mean kind of gossip)) 

HE’S SO PRETTY IM LITERALLY SOBBING 

HE’S SO PRETTY AND HES SO AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

AND HIS HAIR

hes so freaking perfect. holy hell. 

i love him 

i cannot express in words how much i love him 

HES SO ICONIC 

HES SO FREAKING ICONIC 

HIS HAIR AMPLIFIES HIS PERSUASIVENESS 

HE IS AMAZING 

HOLY FREAKING HELL 

“is anyone troubled much by our gossip?” FREAKING YES??? 

HIS SARCASM 

HIS SASS 

HIS PASSIVE AGGRESSION 

IDK IF ANY OF THOSE WERE THE RIGHT WORDS BUT ANYWAY 

I LOVE HIM 

i want to stare at him forever please 

PLEEEAAASEEE HE’S SO ICONIC 

how is he so pretty 

how is this man so pretty 

i love him 

hes so pretty 

hes so freaking pretty 

okay back to guncher 

i love them 

theyre so sweet 

JACK TIME AGAIN 

LOOK AT HIS HAIR 

ITS PERFECTION 

ILYSM JACK 

jack and aoi are amazing i love them 

they point the guncher moments out to each other 

also HIM CALLING HER SIS??? IM CRYING I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH 

“i mean the behavior report and the feedback field. i wrote a lot.” I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES SO ICONIC PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR FRIEND AOI 

^D^ HE SMILEEEE 

“you kept the promise to him so well. you also promised me you wouldnt tell the boss that day. such a double standard” hes so dramatic i love him so much 

shes so pretty 

and hes also so pretty 

why is everyone pretty 

is that allowed 

are they allowed to be that pretty 

i love them all so much 

im too pan for this freaking show 

i love you ink 

COFFEE TIMEEEEE 

OH YEAH THEYRE GOING TO GO BUY COFFEE I FORGOT ABOUT THAT 

hes so confused and so pretty and so happy and so in love and i cant deal with this 

HEY 

NO 

BAD 

*sprays him with water* BAD 

GO WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND TO BUY COFFEE 

please 

“and why wont you be around?” lmao he desperately wants to hire him 

“yes boss” UM- 

k-kinky? 

“or should i call you babe” thATS THE NAME OF THE SHOW! 

i know nothing about this man but i think everyone loves him 

his name is yacht?? i think thats it 

anyway i know nothing about him but i agree. i love him. 

hes very pretty. 

and his hair is a pretty shade of blue 

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW PRETTY 

AND LIKE A SPECIFIC TYPE OF PRETTY THAT MAKES ME SPECIFICALLY WEAK 

WHOEVER CASTED THIS FREAKING SHOW WAS OUT TO GET ME AND ME SPECIFICALLY 

PRETTY 

i may need to make a second post of commentary for this episode if i cant get myself under control 

im screenshotting too many pretty people because there are too many pretty people 

at this rate i will certainly go over the 30 image limit 

to me. please. just chill and appreciate and screenshot WITHOUT needing to put them on this tumblr post. you can do it. itll be hard but i believe in you. sincerely, me. (buTISHOULDTELLYOUTHATITHINKOFYOUEACHNIGHT. IRUBMYNIPPL- sorry) 

“see? ordering coffee is a piece of cake” well now i want cake 

WHY DOES CHER HAVE TO GO 

IM GONNA CRY 

I HATE GOODBYES 

OH HEY THAT RHYMED 

i wanna see thyme 

yes mentioning thyme was just an excuse to rhyme again, but i rly do miss seeing drake laedeke’s face. and also eyebrows. i love his eyebrows so much. 

PLEASE HES SO FREAKING PRETTY JACK IS SO PRETTY AND HIS HAIR IS SO PRETTY 

THE HUG 

I AM EMOTIONAL 

MY EMOTIONS ARE BIG 

WHY 

gun appearing out of nowhere and jack’s nervous smile- omg 

GHREKDBG ITS SO FUNNY WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY 

i have never seen less food on a fork before 

THE LOOKS THAT JACK AND AOI SHARE- OMG 

EVERYONES REACTIONS TO “both” PLEASEEE 

i know im tryna dial it down on the screenshots a little bit but his hair was at a great angle in this shot and i just had to share this 

you can see all the curls 

all the sections of his hair 

the messy curly perfection 

the fluffy poofy wonderfulness 

GUN SMILES SO MUCH NOW, HE’S SO SMILEY 

“i will not get to visit for a while” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN 

everyone’s little “aoeeeee” when cher fed gun- i love this group so much 

CELEBRATING THE END OF THE INTERNSHIP WITH BBQ PORK WITH THE SQUAD, HELL YES, THAT MEANS THREEZO, IMMA TRY TO NOT COMMENTATE UNTIL THAT PART BC I WANT THREEZO ON MY SCREEN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, I MISSED THEM DEEPLY 

“can i take a quick nap” bro its your last day 

cher why do you keep looking sad 

what are you not telling us 

and can you please tell us 

please 

and thank you 

HELL YES OKAY ITS ALREADY BBQ PORK TIME WITH THE SQUAD 

AND THEYRE ALL SO PRETTY 

I LVOE JACK’S FACE IN THIS ONE FRAME 

I WONT PUT THE SCREENSHOT HERE THO BC I DONT WANNA WASTE MY LIMITED PHOTO SPACE 

BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

THREEZO 

“we didnt think he was gonna make it!” honestly, fair 

I LOVE SEEING HOW SMILEY JACK IS NOW 

it really brings out his hair 

(im kidding) 

HE MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN HE IS HAPPY 

seriously how is he so pretty 

jack how are you pretty 

and why are you pretty 

hes pretty while drinking a cup of water 

what the hell 

FHBFHBFHBFHFBHFBFHBFHBF I AM SUPRESSING THE SOUNDS OF DYING BECAUSE ITS 10:30 AND MY FAMILY ARE GOING TO SLEEP NOW BUT GOSH DARNNIT THREEZO ARE TOO CUTE 

“im drunk” “but you just had plain water” “im drunk in LOVE” GIUJEBRDNGOIREHNDL 

man has never seen a vegetable in his entire life 

THE WAY ZO SMILES AT THREE 

IM DYING, SOBBING, CRYING 

THEY’RE THE WORST 

I LOVE THEM 

“boss, if you’re shaped by our society, you’ll be great. no worries. you will do so great.” i wholeheartedly agree, their group is perfection 

I WANT TO IMPLANT THIS SCENE ON MY SKULL 

literally all i can think about rn is jack’s hair 

I LOVE CHERJACK’S FRIENDSHIP SO FREAKING MUCH 

MY BOYS 

GHRKDBGRHKDBG 

chergun are so pretty 

theyre both so pretty 

i love them 

theyre so pretty 

no i will not stop mentioning how pretty people are 

AWWW THE LITELL KISE 

“your latest kiss and every kiss from now until forever. im the only one allowed to kiss you.” GUERJDHJOB 

i love all the litell kisez 

look, i know all the translations say the same thing. but somehow it just feels like the the italian translations of it are always so much more beautiful and poetic than the english translations. 

im gonna go on a bit of a languages rant for a sec so if you dont care, ill end it by saying COCKADOODLEDOO in all caps like that so look for that and read from there 

anyway 

in english it’s “you’re my happiness, cher”, which, yeah, that’s super sweet 

but then the italian translation is “tu per me sei la felicità, cher” which means ‘you for me are the happiness, cher’ 

and then he says “the happiness that ive never had before” which is just all the feels at once 

but then it’s “quella felicità che non avevo mai raggiunto prima” 

which is ‘that happiness that i never had reached before’ WHICH IS JUST- 

its the way its worded 

i cant explain it 

its just better 

and then cher says “remember this.... if im your happiness, boss, it will never be gone” 

OR IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, HE SAYS “tieni a mente questo... se io per sono la felicità, capo, niente potrà portatela via” 

in other words, ‘hold in mind this... if i for i am the happiness, boss, nothing will be able to take it away’ 

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN NOW??? 

"i will be your happiness forever” BORINGGG 

“io sarò per sempre la tua felicità” AWESOME 

‘i will be for always your happiness’ DUDE 

(also obviously these are all very literal translations, i havent bothered to switch around the order of words to fit the english language because you know what the english option is, i need you to understand just how poetic it is in italian) 

i freaking love it so much 

anyway COCKADOODLEDOO 

NOOOOOO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THATTTT 

guys i think the bed is still on an angle 

theyre not listening to me 

its a safety hazard 

seriously 

fix the freaking mattress ITS NOT THAT HARD JUST SCOOT IT OVER A LITTLE BIT 

gun wakes up to cher gone and his intern badge thingy on the pillow 

i sure hope cher sent him a text or something 

cos otherwise hes gonna be real worried 

ive seen how this plays out in too many bls 

before you know it, gun’s gonna call his closest friends and eventually cher will show up, only to reveal that he put their friend’s nephew in a children’s home on the other side of the country, and they all freak out and it turns out cher was messing with them 

hypothetically of course 

just a situation i randomly pulled out of my head 

PHEW OKAY he left him a note 

gosh freaking darnnit its 11:15pm already (how did that happen), i started at 8pm (how did THAT happen), and im literally only halfway through the episode (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN), and im way too exhausted to continue. ill have to finish it tomorrow. 

BYE BYE FOLKS, I LOVE YOU, HAVE A WONDERFUL EVENING/DAY/WHATEVER, ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR MORE REALLY BAD COMMENTARY WHERE I JUST SAY HOW PRETTY EVERYONE IS 

(btw i rly hope everyone managed to stay hydrated) 

[discountdyke]

im so tired of ppl talking about the horrible burden of being a “gifted kid” mostly bc being labled “gifted” in school is incredibly racially biased. being “gifted” doesn’t actually have that much to do with intelligence, and thinking of yourself as a “higher achiever” than your peers has more to do with looking down on others than actually being pressured into unattainable standards. im sure some people did have to deal with that, but when you are pushed into something that tells you that you (often white) are smarter and more special than your peers (black, latino, indigenous) the real divide is racial. 

it sucks to grow up and find out that higher education/the “real world” are hard for you. doing well on a standardized test in elementary school is not a great indicator for learning later in life. it is frustrating! but sooooooooo many “former gifted kids” cry about their loss of identity of being a “better” person than their peers and its insufferable. and lets be honest: how many of yall “i was reading on a college level at age 9″ were actually reading college level books? 

the thing is that the american public school system fails us all. it fails smarter students but also the kids that get labeled “lazy” and “stupid”. its easy to say “well those kids probably have learning disabilities or neurodivergencies that went unnoticed” and for many people thats true! but why do people need to justify being stupid to you? whats actually so wrong about not doing well in school, regardless of the reason? maybe you have a learning disability, maybe you have to take care of your siblings or your house and dont have time to focus on schoolwork, maybe you work to help pay your families bills, or maybe you’re just “stupid”! theres nothing wrong with that!

which brings me to my main point which is: being smart doesn’t make you a better person. intelligence is just not that important. do you treat others with kindness and respect? do you work to improve your community in any way? or do you look down on people that don’t meet your personal expectations and treat them poorly? intelligence doesnt build communities. intelligence cant create art, it cant feed and house your unhoused neighbors, it doesnt offer compassion. there is not one single thing about being smart that makes you better than anyone else. start caring about shit that actually matters.

[friendlystarfruit]

i know you probably aren't going to post this and I see you are going through a tough time and happen to be very emotional but you don't get it...... :( you keep making vent post and in every vent post you vaguely mentioned that friend why is that your concern when you have bigger more important issues sort of act like you hate or just don't care about them anyway...... saying things like [ I have friends who are kind and care about me ] and it comes off like you're selfishly making it only about you when it takes two people to make a friendship and end it how do you think they feel? they probs feel the same or worse IDK It's not good that you're dwelling on it that means you feel guilty about losing them and usually that could mean you blame yourself (dunno if it's actually your fault) so you take it out by acting like it's their fault and they are not a good friend when really it could really not be their fault.... :( you are basically selfishly projecting [ We are not friends anymore so they are a bad person to me and I don't like them and I have friends who are kind to ME and care about ME and they stay by my side and get that it's supposed to be about ME ] please it's triggering it reminds me of my old narcissist friend who blame me for their insolence and then they just kept going on Insta saying [ I lost a friend but she never cared about me :( atleast I have better friends who talk to me :'((( ] it's like yikes did they forget they hurt my feelings too? I never posted about them because I know one day they will see it and like if they do honey your old friend will either be devastated and hurt or really full of anger because you are making it seem like [ omg they were rude and not my friend anymore but lol atleast I have friends who are kind and cares about me so whatever ] they will see that and be hurt mark my words because I witness someone do that to me on social media and it's not a good experience for them in fact it's probs worse than the actual friends breaking up part..... :( Take care of yourself sometimes you have to leave people in your life behind it's better to be quick about it too if you feel bad feelings about that friend don't dwell on them your mental health and happiness is more important than some friends so why waste your energy on them?

Anon .........My mother has cancer.....my dad is hospital , why are you obsessing over my personal life? This is incredibly inappropriate and disappointing you are imagining something that isn't there. This is so unfair.....I am not trying to hurt anyone I am not sending coded messages......this to me is obsession and paranoia

I am allowed to think of me at this time.....I am hurting so much I have been crying so much......I am scared I am trying to be postive......please leave me alone PLEASE...I wish no ill will to you or others but I cant deal with this......please all I ask is to be left alone to focus on my family.....

If you think I have some vague agenda unfollow me , because all I did was thank people for supporting me and I mentioned a friend ship loss in one tiny post , that could mean anything friends can break up and agree with eachother for the best,.

Anon you are not helping anyone here , let me move on I do not deserve this......

This anon really hurt me *sigh ....

[sometipsygnostalgic]

errant entrapta thoughts

.....thanks to discussions with smuggy and roots.....

makes me sad that entrapta is a character who seemed to have accepted that she is broken before we even met her. like, all the other characters are going through 10 stages of denial. entraptas like, out the other end already and going, “yeah, im just gonna be obsessed with my thing, it is better than people anyway, who im apparently terrible at. ive accepted im a failure and decided i cant let it hold me down.”  

but then with this resolve, she actually makes friends, and then gets abandoned by them again and again, or at least that’s what she thinks happens, and she can’t figure out why. she missed whatever indicators were there that people were going to turn on her. she think it’s because she’s broken, and it’s reopening that wound and twisting the knife in.  

so on beast island she decides, no more. “it’s here for me. i would rather stay here and die than face that rejection and constant reminder of my own shortcomings.” 

but bow comes in like “dude. no. we never stopped believing in you and we aren’t gonna walk away from you, not even after that really fucked up stuff you did with the horde.”  

and then she is so shook that bow never gave up on her, it destroys the narrative that people would quickly discard of her.  and then, maybe even soon after, she accepts that scorpia and emily wanted to save her, and realises hordak never left her to die. that there are people who value her.  

but then back in the rebellion, thrown in the deep end, back into that worst fear - all the princesses misunderstanding her, misinterpreting her, and feeling alienated by her, and what’s worse, they have some justification, because of all the messed up stuff she did to them while working for the horde.

and i think it was important that the other princesses did get angry, that they did cry, instead of just get annoyed and call it a day, because it shows that this is important to them.  that her feelings about them matter to them. 

so she does break down again, she does run away. but mermista chases after her - mermista is fulfilling the promise that was made so long ago, of “no princess left behind”. 

instead of hiding her feelings, entrapta does the most difficult thing of showing and explaining them, of working with these people and still trying to get the signal, whether they accept her or not.  

and it pays off! the miscommunication is cleared and what could’ve been a huge splitting point ended up becoming a new start for her. wherein, she spends the rest of the season just being herself, and learning to be comfortable around the rebellion that she thought had left her before, and that she’d once turned against, directly or not.    

i like entraptas role for the rest of the season because she doesnt change per se. what is most important to me is that she doesnt suddenly become good at the things she was bad at. like, she is still a nightmare on the battlefield, being really bad at stealth - she cant help making loud noises, shes bad at snap decisions, she cant read the situation at all and usually needs help to get back on track, even when really trying to focus.  

but like, theres no longer any argument or insecurity involved, no longer a fear of inevitably getting left behind. she is even able to make friends like Wrong Hordak, and teach him the confusing life lessons she’d learnt over the show.       

and as catra had discovered once before, if you leave this technomaniac to her own devices and just trust her, your team is going to thrive. 

I’ll end this post on an iconic example. 

[ssplague]

Chapter Two

A rough start we get off too

Series Masterlist

Katsuki B. X Reader

Rated M

⚠️Warnings: SMUT, improper use/depiction of certain kinks, abusive, manipulative, toxic behavior, unreal ideals of sex, use of daddy, ddlg themes, hard Dom, etc.

Let the SMUT commence

The way each pair of lips fit so perfectly together was absolutely enthralling: Passion was raw, ferocity was made so obviously evident from the growl he emitted at each attempt you made at sucking his tounge into your mouth. Only separating to take in a few large gulps of much needed oxygen, before diving back in to repeat the process over again.

“Please….P-Pleaseee…Kat..Suki…I-“ he presses a finger to your lips. That brief period of oxygen deprivation seemed to of induced a delirium of sorts. Assessing your thoughts has become similar to sifting through wet sand; Try as you might, you just can’t seem to comprehend what exactly you’d been attempting to beg him for in the first place. This look of empty headed confusion is also something Bakugou commits to memory, a first glimpse of his dumb little girl. He surveys you with bemused interest, looking as composed as ever.

“Down that bad for me hah? All I did was kiss ya a little and you’re already falling to pieces on me” the finger on your lips slides down to tilt your chin up, while he dips his head down to whisper in your ear. “Cant even imagine what kinda mess you’ll become once I finally split cha open with this big cock, such a stupid little girl”.

You suck in a deep shuddering breath as your legs suddenly give out beneath you, leaving you helplessly sliding down the wall. Bakugou laughs in such a condescending baritone as he effortlessly picks you up and deposits you on his bed. Picking his chair back up, he moves it beside the bed to take a seat in front of you.

“Listen real close to what I’m about to tell ya cause its important, open those fuckin’ ears princess cause if I end up havin’ to constantly keep repeatin’ myself…” he leaves the implicated threat hanging in the air between you two. Swallowing what remains of your now virtually non existent pride: You sit up straight and lean forward slightly, making sure to hold eye contact while he spoke. As the one sided conversation progresses and you inevitably begin to feel the need to either scoff or mouth off, you lightly bite your tounge. When the need to roll your eyes seems irresistible you make sure to blink a few times.

Bakugou and his ego always seem to have a way of destroying any sort of illusion that he is anything other than a self-righteous narcissist. Well, now he’s YOUR self-righteous narcissist…CORRECTION; You cant think like that anymore….from now on he’s….daddy.

The thought accompanies a brief pang in your metaphorical gut, is it regret? Maybe guilt? You aren’t sure.

“-Last ones, your still paying attention right princess?”.

Hearing his question has your eyes immediately snapping back into focus. You take in the handsome (but grumpy) face in front of you, nervously wondering when exactly he’d invaded your personal space.

“Y-Yes daddy, I’m listening to you” you stutter slightly, now noticing he’s actually kneeling on the mattress with you.

“So every day I expect you to do your absolute best” now with each statement he leans further into you, “You’re always going to remember how much daddy cares about you”. He presses a large hand against your chest, forcing your back down against the pillows behind you. “Realize that daddy always knows what’s best for you” both hands now rest on either side of you, effectively caging you in.

“You’ll always know that you can rely on daddy, and will trust him one hundred percent of the time”.

The intensity of his crimson stare has your face burning up, and heart rapidly pounding in your chest. It’s now taking a serious amount of conscious effort to keep your eyes locked with his. “Any questions? Comments?…..concerns?” he puts an emphasis on that last word, wolffish grin firmly in place.

Shaking your head apparently wasn’t a good enough answer because its followed with a stern; “Use your words princess, you either say: Yes daddy or No daddy….understood?”.

“I understand daddy….I’ll follow your rules daddy” you reply, embarrassment evident at having to repeat the unfamiliar word.

“You sure? It’s not like you to have absolutely nothing to say” he’s testing you, you’ll play into it this time.

“Well if you insist…..I do have a question, just one” at this his eyes instantly narrow and you could have sworn you’d seen a few stray sparks emit from his palms.

“Would it be too much to ask daddy if he wouldn’t mind kissing me again?”

🌆

Euphie checks her phone for the eigth time since she’d last texted you over forty-five minutes ago. Why weren’t you responding? Maybe she really had pushed you too far this time….A large hand comes to rest over her much smaller one, at this she finally sets her phone facedown on the table with a sigh.

“She wont stay angry with you forever, her and Bakubro might be having such a good time together that she’s forgotten all about her phone” Kirishima tries his best to reassure with his usual smile. The sudden wide eyed, dead pan stare he gets in return whipes that smile from his now reddening face. He’s realized far too late at what his words seem to of implied.

“I didn’t mean it like that! Really! I promise I didn’t! M’sorry”. Seeing the red head this flustered is so adorable, his companion cant help but giggle.

“I know Eji, dont worry about it”.

Entrusting your care to Bakugou was fine: He cares about you almost as much as she herself does. If she wasn’t certain how genuine the boy’s feelings toward you were, none of this would ever have happened.

Yeah, everything is going to be just fine….You’ll thank her one day.

💥

Bakugou’s crimson gaze is way too intense while roaming over the female laying down on his bed. Having her completely bare, and spread out before him is an accomplishment he shamelessly contragulates himself for. She’s getting self conscious now: Delicate hands come up to cover her chest, and plush thighs press together in an attempt to hide the drooling mess kept between them. It’s all or naught though as her legs are suddenly wrenched apart, and each wrist is now pinned above her head, held in just a single one of his hands.

“Nu-uh princess, no hiding….keep those legs open…wanna see all of you” condescending words only seem to widen his feral grin.

Seeing his cock now freed from its previously strained confinements as its looms above you, standing tall, has your leaky little hole twitching. The smooth inner walls inside repeatedly clenching in anticipation. Bakugou trails a finger from clit to slit as he hums in approval.

“What’s this hah? Such a fuckin’ mess your makin’ down here”

“S-Sorry daddy…I cant help it…Just want you so bad…dont wanna wait any longer…Please dont make me wait more” a soft roll of your hips accompanies your pleading whines. Your continuous begging for his cock has that monster stirring in him again, he has to forcibly push the dark thoughts away before addressing you again.

“If I dont prep you then-“ you interrupt him.

“It’s fine! I can take it, please just take me…” he notices your moment of hesitation before you lock eyes with him while adding “make it hurt”.

You’re just so fucking bold!

Trying to make demands, disguised as requests! Its so cute he cant help but caress your cheek before bestowing upon you the last gentle kiss you’ll get until he’s throughly DESTROYED you for anyone else.

“Dont ever fucking tell me what to do again” he growls before slamming his hips forward.

He’s buried balls deep inside you: Your initial gasp at the sudden intrusion, now morphs into a silent scream that has a you arching up off the mattress.

“Got that you greedy little slut? See what happens?” He taunts through gritted teeth.

Your cunt squeezing and spasming around his cock feels incredible, to the point he has to busy himself with sucking harshly on your neck to keep from releasing desperate whimpers of his own.

“I can take it…please move….m’sorry daddy…please don’ be mad a’me….”

“M’not mad at you baby….s’okay” He manages to reassure you through his clenched jaw. He finally starts to move inside of you, desperately trying so hard to take it easy on you. All precedent falls apart when your legs wrap around his waist, now he’s digging you out.

“Y’okay?” He rasps while continuously ravaging your tight cunt.

“M-mm-more than okay” you stutter.

“Taking my cock so well baby girl….Fucking hell!” His lewd compliment causing your insides to involuntarily clench.

“Deeper! Deeper!” You plead.

Katsuki thought you’d preferred his shallow thrusts, but if you really wanted your guts rearranged he’d be pleased to make it happen. He grabs one of your legs, placing it up on his broad shoulder, while the other remains curled around his hip. Straightening up he smirks down at you, before delivering a harsh slap to your clit. Now beginning to rapidly piston his hips while taunting you: “What did I tell you earlier hah? Answer me dammit!”.

His hot hand comes down on your inner thigh and you cry out: “N-Not supposed t-to tell y-you what to d-do!”. It shouldn’t be possible for you to be squeezing him even tighter, but somehow you do. That can mean only one thing… “Gonna cum aren’t you princess? I can feel ya choking the life outta my cock”.

A pathetic whine accompanies your vigorous head nods and he growls in response: “You.better.fucking.not” a thrust accompanying each word, “Y’dont fuckin’ listen, shouldn’t let ya cum at all with how you keep misbehavin’, better start fuckin’ beggin”.

Horrified at the thought, you fight through the fog permeating your brain and force movement out of your lolling tounge.

“P-please daddy, I’ll b-be good from now on if y-you’ll just let me c-cum! Y-you’re just making me feel so good daddy, no one’s ever made me feel this i-incredible before” your panting breaths making it too difficult to continue speaking. Even if he doesn’t believe it, your words are entirely true, this is the first time you can ever recall feeling like this during sex. A foreign sensation is making its way into your gut, your limbs are moving of their own accord, you cant think straight when you manage to speak next: “Its too much! Too big, Too deep, Too intense! I c-cant take anymore please make it stop!”.

“Stop? Oh fuck no princess, after all this lip you’ve been giving me, you think I’m gonna let you tap out like a little bitch? Think again” his thumb begins to rub harsh circles against your clit. “We’re not stopping until you cream all over my cock like a nasty girl like you is supposed to, then you’re gonna do it again when I blow my load inside this tight fucking cunt and you’ll scream my name while I fucking do it because this pussy is all mine! Got all that you fucking whore?”.

“Yes daddy” you whimper, face screwed up in tight concentration as he finally pushes you over the edge. Your eyes fly open as you blindly search for his hand, gripping it tightly in attempts to anchor yourself in reality as a sudden rush of dopamine floods your brain. White hot pleasure seemingly overwhelming every single nerve in your body, making your legs shiver as you faintly hear yourself calling out his name repeatedly. Katsuki is the only thing you know in this strange foreign place: This comforting warmth suddenly invades your tummy, continuously being pumped inside you while you moan at the newfound sensation.

A pair of strong arms wind themselves around you, pulling you closer, making you feel safe, at ease, loved?

“Come…back…..come back to me” he’s calling for you. Your soul had to of vacated your body; You feel Weightless, you’re floating, “Daddy?”. Suddenly you start sinking, and without warning your body jolts, “Katsuki?!”.

“M’right here princess, daddy’s got you….Disappeared on me for a lil while” his familiar voice is grounding. His fingers card gently through your hair, and for the very first time you’re seeing a “Soft” side to this so easily angered man. Sighing contentedly you snuggle into his chest, letting his caramel scented sweat overwhelm your senses.

“I really like this”

“Hah?! That’s all you have to say?!”

Ah there he goes, moment ruined, illusion shattered.

“I’m sorry. But I’m not entirely coherent just yet…you uh…you kinda did a number on me there” you mutter sheepishly, making an attempt to escape his embrace. Its immediately thwarted, and your pulled right back against his chest. “Ah fuck…knew I shoulda just made you wait and prepped you properly….Sorry about that, guess I just got caught up in everything”. Surely hell has frozen over: Katsuki Bakugou just not only admitted a possible wrong doing, but APOLGIZED for it as well!

“Ive wanted to do this with you for so long: Fuck you, hold you, be with you, and I fucked it up! Just like I always seem to fucking do, I-“

“Daddy” your voice effectively silences his self-depreciating rant. His hand begins to gently run up and down your back as he mumbles a “Yes princess?”.

You lean back slightly, tilting your head up so those cute doe eyes can stare up into his, the smile your wearing makes his chest tighten.

“M’not hurt, sore but not damaged….I wasn’t referring to my body, I meant you did a number on my mind…Besides I asked for it remember? I’ve wanted this for a long time too, so I got impatient…Please dont berate yourself, lets just enjoy this moment as the first of many now…Kay?”.

That’s right, you’re his now; Along with the opportunity to care for and make sure to correct you…he’ll be able to do this with you again. You had given yourself to him after all, so he can have you as many times as he wants, whenever he wants! He’s far too occupied with his lewd thoughts to care about the foreboding darkness thats begun to emerge from its confines within his skull.

You don’t remember falling asleep but Katsuki gently prods you awake: “Baby…wake up, Its dinner time…I made food for us…c’mon princess you need to eat”.

You whine, attempting to burrow further beneath the blankets, “Not hungryyyy...wanna sleep more!”.

“Dont make daddy ask you again, you wont like what happens”.

Not interested in ruining such a wonderful night, you begrudgingly sit up. Noticing he’s seated at his desk, with a large steaming bowl set infront of him. You slide out of bed, standing up and realizing you’re naked, but strangely not embarrassed by it.

“Here” he tosses you a shirt, “Now c’mere, hurry up before it gets cold!”. Pulling his shirt over your head as you pad over to him and take a seat on his lap. Noticing the single spoon and bowl has you looking at him with genuine curiosity. “Since you like actin like a damn baby so much, figured I’d continue treatin’ you like one” his words make you grin sheepishly again, and you hold out your hand expectantly waiting for him to hand you the spoon….he doesn’t.

Taking an impressive spoonful of the steaming food he then proceeds to blow on it before bringing it up to your lips.

“Say ahh, brat”.

“Wha-?”

Taking advantage of the opportunity, he shoves the spoon into your open mouth. Of course it tastes amazing, but he doesn’t plan on keeping this up right? WRONG!

Repeating the pattern of giving you a bite and then taking one himself.

“I can feed myself y’know…” you mutter growing increasingly flustered at the insulting action but more so the fact that its making you feel….excited?

“I dont think you can princess….I always hear Euphie bitchin at ya for skipping breakfast or to hurry up and come eat dinner” pausing to feed himself, then repositioning the now loaded spoon back infront of you before continuing.

“That shit ends today, gonna teach ya how important it is to take care of yourself, and if you wont? Then I guess daddy will have to do it for ya”.

You’re squirming in his lap by the time you accept the last bite,swallowing thickly before making an attempt at vaulting off his lap. Large hands immediately snag you around the middle before your feet even touch the ground.

“No, No, thats not how we do things around here, where the fuck are your manners?” he slips a hand between your clenched thighs to move them apart, and then brings a slap down to the inside of each. You dont even know why he’d done that and the shock is evident on your face. “You like when I baby ya, dont lie to me LITTLE girl”.

“No I-“

“What’s this then?” he quickly interupts while holding up the palm he’d previously slapped you with. Glimmering in the low light is your sticky arousal coating his palm.

“Sorry” your voice is barely audible as you hang your head in shame.

“Mhm sure you are…Here I am being a good care taker to you and what did you do? Sat there thinking all kinds of nasty things while I spoon feed you, you really are a fuckin depraved slut aren’t you princess?”

You bite your lip as your eyes start to water,still refusing to look up and far too embarrassed to respond. A finger beneath your chin forces your head up and his breath hitches when he notices tears getting ready to fall. A malicious smile now turns his lips upward as he cups your cheek, “Look at that…shes about to start crying and all because of what? Cuz you just exposed yourself for being the depraved little slut you are?”.

“NO! No im not I-“.

“You are” his grip tightens painfully on your jaw, pulling your face forward so its now just an inch away from his own, “And I fuckin’ love it”. Then he’s surging forward pressing his lips against yours; Forcing his tongue into your mouth, hand coming around to grip the back of your head. Your lungs are on fire while his hand slips under your shirt to harshly grope at your chest. Clawing his forearms is finally enough to get his attention and he reluctantly pulls away. You’ve just barely began catching your breath when he suddenly stands up, keeping a firm grip on your ass to carry you, before dropping you onto the bed.

“Take that off and-“

*knock knock knock*

The sudden knocking followed abruptly by Kirishima’s muffled shouting, startles both you and Katsuki, and the rattling door knob has you immediately springing into action.

“Hey we brought back desert to share with you guys! So just meet us at my room whenever you feel like it, Euphie’s changing her clothes and then she’ll be there too, we’re gonna watch a movie if you two wanna join us!”.

He must have heard Bakugou’s standard non-committal grunt in response, because you hear his retreating footsteps trail off down the hall.

Grabbing your skirt out from underneath the bed, you stand back up.

Just as you’d gotten to your feet your immediately pushed face first onto the mattress. A sweaty hand takes hold of your hip in a bruising grip, while the other delivers a sharp pinch to your ass cheek. Yelping in response to the sudden harsh yank of your hair that proceeds a whisper of:

“You didn’t really think I would let you off that easy did you? Your fuckin’ cake can wait brat, we’re done when I fuckin say we are, got it?”.

✨

A/N: I hope this chapter was to everyone’s liking, I’m actually kind of nervous to post it but 🤷🏼‍♀️ Chapter 3 has a fair amount of smut in it as well so look forward to that. I’m hoping to get another one shot up for “A man of his word” this week, if you like extreme Yandere Bakugou check that out. I have one penned but it needs to be typed up.

[obsessive-ego]

Just go with it part 2

Musical beetlejuice x reader

You have to meet juno and pretend you and bj are getting married

Nsft sorta, mentions of activity

Part 1

"Babes"

....

"Sugar"

...

"Y/n"

...?

"Y/n wake up, come on babes"

...!

"Beej?" You mumble rubbing your eyes "what's wrong?" You say in a whisper.

He doesnt respond, you turn on the lamp by your bed and check your phone clock

5:42am

You sigh, looking back at the demon, now being able to see him clearly, you freeze upon seeing that the demon was now completely purple, his hair, his beard, his tie, all deep purple.

"What's wrong?" You ask again, more fear in you voice then intended

"Okay y/n" he starts, using your name rather then a pet name was never a good sign "so you remember a few nights ago when that suit came by to see if I was lying about our relationship?"

"He's back?!" You sit up, more awake "wait... wasnt the repercussion to that not that bad? Just some extra work for you?"

Beetlejuice rubs his neck "yeah, thing about that, it's not him... my mother is here, to talk to you personally..." he trails off refusing to look at you

"Your mother...." you repeat feeling your stomach drop

"Yeah..."

"What's gonna happen if she finds us out?" You ask in a whisper

"...who knows with her" the demon spits before looking away.

The two of you remain in silence over the shit beetlejuice has gotten you into it.

Beetlejuice huffs out his nose as his focus goes back to you.

"So y/n, I mean honey~" the demon pulls you up from your bed and into a side hug "ready to meet mommy dearest?" Beetlejuice tried to smile, make light of the situation, but his hair betrayed him, remaining a deep purple, even though he tried his best to plaster a grin across his face for your sake.

You didnt know much about Beetlejuice's mother, other then she didnt exactly win mother of the year, beej only opened up about her a handful of times, long story short, you knew this was gonna be a rough experience for both of you, but mostly Beej.

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders, pulling the same ring he gave you to fool the suit, the same tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, your heart swelled at the sight of the ring.

The ghoul drops on one knee, and gently slides the ring onto your middle finger, pausing to kiss your hand before giving you wink, under different circumstances you would die from such a cheesy romantic gesture, but now was not that time, you did appreciate beetlejuice trying to lighten the mood.

"Alright honey, you remember the drill?"

"Yes"

"That's my future wife, let's not keep the bitch waiting" he smiles linking arms with you

Future wife...

You couldnt help but give the ghoul a soft smile at the thought.

Beetlejuice takes a deep breath, smoothing his hair back, wiping the purple away in favour of his default green.

The demon grabs your hand begins to lead you to your living room, you could barely focus over the sound of your heart pounding, who could blame you, you were about to come face to face with someone Beetlejuice was afraid of.

As the two of you head down the hall , she was finally in sight, you felt your stomach drop, in your recliner sat an old woman, dressed completely in red, she had a permanent scowl across her face, her whole presence give off a bad feeling.

"Lawrence, you took your sweet time fetching your fiance" she barked causing beetlejuice to flinch

"Ya know breathers, they like their sleep-" he forces a laugh, purple slowly creeping back into his hair

"Nonsense, it's nearly 6am, that's more then a reasonable time for breathers to wake and start their pointless routines" she waves off, beetlejuice frowns and leads you to the couch, where the both of you sit.

"Its been awhile huh Ma? Like I was saying earlier, it's nice to see you again and-" beetlejuice was babbling

"Zip it" was all she said and beetlejuice clamped his mouth shut and gazed down staring at his feet. "Lawrence, I didnt come here for pointless pleasantries" her eyes meet yours "y/n l/n I dont know what Lawrence has done to you or promised you, but I can assure you he doesnt care about you, and just wants freedom, further more Lawrence, do you honestly think this breather could love you? This game of yours needs to come to an end, there is alot of paper work tied up in this farce of yours"

You were taken back by her words, she really didn't beat around the bush.

"I dont-" you start, voice trembling

"Ma, y/n loves me and I love them, see~" beetlejuice grabs your hand to show his mother the ring, she eyes the ring for a moment, then goes bad to staring daggers into her son, her scowl never faltering.

"Tacky" she huffs, a simple response like that was enough to shut her son down, beetlejuice pulled away from you, pressing his back firm against the couch, lips pressed shut and hands clamped together in his lap.

"As I was saying, Lawrence is a natural born troublemaker, and youd be smart to back out of this farce before he gains life, knocks you up with a life ruining disappointment, and vanishes from your life" she droned as she lights a cigarette, taking a deep inhale, smoke shooting out from her neck.

You swallow hard.

"I would prefer if you didnt smoke in my house, ma'am"

Juno stares at you for a moment, then shakes her head as she puts out her cigarette on your coffee table.

"Ma'am I really do trust beetlejuice, and I love him, this isnt a farce-" you began, but your words were ignored

"If you want to throw yourself into a mess, I wont stop you, I'm not here to save you, but I have to applaud his efforts on tricking someone LEGAL this time for his little game. Even though this mess of yours is going to keep him out of my way for awhile, it doesn't cover the fact that Lawrence's efforts have caused my office nothing but work. And even if this "love" was real the boy ruins everything thing he touches, cant do anything right, having him around only causes headaches, you'll see soon enough y/n," Juno's hurtful words drone on, as if her son wasnt sitting across the table from her.

"Back to the matter, even if you do choose to marry this fool, I wanted to warn you about the mess your getting yourself into, giving him life would only cause you grief, and I dont want to hear it when you get to the netherworld after a suicide his actions caused"

You grit your teeth at that last remark, you knew juno thought poorly of beetlejuice, but did she honestly thing her son was so awful that youd kill yourself over his actions, you felt like you were going to be sick.

"Lawrence, why is your hair purple?"

You glance over to beetlejuice, who infact was completely purple, the deepest purple you've ever seen him wear.

Beetlejuice bites down on his lip, his hands clenched in fists as they sat on his thighs, he was frozen.

"Bee?" You gently whisper as you slowly place a hand on his, the ghoul flinches at your touch, beetlejuice slowly takes your hand in his and gives it a light squeeze.

"Come on Ma, y/n my be dramatic, and get mad at me from time to time, but they'd never kill themselves over anything dumb I'd do, and hell we already talked it over, we dont want kids" the ghoul leans into you for support.

Juno scowls "to remind you both, I'm not here to stop you two, the only thing I'm here for is to warn this foolish breather, and double check to make sure YOU arent mucking about and blackmailing the living again, there is a lot of paper work involved in this little game of yours, and you still havent delt with the paper work of your failed marriage and death by the hands of that poor child you tricked" her eyes narrow down to beetlejuice, juno pauses, then sighs

"Lawrence just come clean, this little game of yours has gone on long enough, even if you didnt blackmail this poor soul into marrying you, do you honestly think they love you? You dont actually think this breather wants you around do you?"

"That's not true, I do-"

You werent able to finish that sentence, with a snap of juno's fingers your mouth is now cover with a strip of duct tape.

"You've honestly fooled yourself into thinking you could be loved didnt you? Pitiful, maybe this breather found you amusing now, but you dont think it's going to last do you?" Her questioning goes on, she was convinced her son was unlovable, you tug away at the duct tape but it refuses to budge, beetlejuice was too focused on his mother's words, to the point where he was starting to believe her, the purple slowly faded from him in favour of white, a color you've never seen on him.

"Lawrence you're little game is over, and you're going to clean up the mess you made, I have a decade's worth of paper work for you to fill out over this farce and every other little issue you caused, I knew from the start this was fake, no living person in their right mind would let you into their life willingly"

A decade's worth of paper work?! Was that so important that she was willing to manipulate her own son into thinking he was worthless?

"Lawrence you are such a screw up, the amount of work your little games keep giving me is coming to an end, you will never be alive, you will never be loved, let alone tolerated, and you are coming back to my office to straighten up ever little issue you have caused, if you think being invisible for a millennia is bad-" she raises her voice with each hateful word.

This duct tape wasnt going to budge, so you went with plan B, you roughly bump into the demon's side to get his attention, beetlejuice looking your way, your eyes grow wide at his expression, he was crying, black gooey tears. The two of you stare at each other what felt like an eternity, Juno's voice no longer reached him, beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the duct tape vanishes from your mouth.

You jump up from you position on the couch "I'm sorry ma'am  but bee- Lawrence isnt worthless, and yes, he can be an ass, and insensitive at times, but I love him and I really do want to marry him! And whatever stupid paper work that is tied up in this, can just fuck off..." your voice tweaks as the ghoulish women sitting across from you stands up, eyes dead set on you.

You werent great with confrontation, and beej knew this, but here you were talking back to his mother, you  his tiny sweet breather talking back to a literal monster. The white from Beetlejuice's hair quickly left in replacement to pink 'I really do want to marry him!' Those words from your lips could have made his heart start beating , tho that was shortly lived when he saw this mother stand, purple took hold of his form once again.

He couldnt let you fight his mistakes alone, though he found it hot that you could be his knight in shining armor.

No, beetlejuice is quick to jump up and link his arm with yours "see ma, this little breather stole my heart, and hell, we've been planning our little wedding for months" beetlejuice snaps his fingers and in a flash his and yours clothes change. Beetlejuice wore a red tux made with crushed velvet, with a lacy front, his whole outfit screamed tacky, but that was him. Looking down at your self, you stifle a laugh, here you were, 6:30am, dressed in a red puffy lacing monster of a dress, in all honesty this wouldnt be your first choice, but now was not that time. Beetlejuice pulls you close, you could swear he could hear how hard your heart was pounding, could you blame yourself? He looked so handsome all dressed up, even if this was fake.

"My, my Lawrence, doesnt that dress look familiar, isnt that the dress you forced that poor child to wear the last time you played this game?" his mother sneers

"Its called a call back, and y/n loves it" he sneers back you nodded in agreement, beetlejuice continues "we're still working on a venue, trying to find a band, believe me, planning a wedding is exhausting, and oh! dont be surprised if your invite gets lost in the mail ma" the demon gives a shit eating grin, you smile seeing beetlejuice has gained SOME confidence back.

"I have no interest in attending your little wedding Lawrence" she spat "it's clear you're not going to budge, and still refusing to take responsibility for your actions, you always were a slacker, and if that's the case, once you die again you will be returning to my office to deal with the mess you made" her focus turns to you "or I could end this little charade by killing your ticket to life"

Your heart stops at her words, she was a demon, Beetlejuice's grip tightens on you, the silence must have been hurting him as much as it did you.

"But I wont, itd be too much a hassle ending a life before it's time"

You sigh in relief, and beetlejuice loosens his grip.

"This will end poorly for the two of you, and I dont want to hear it" juno walks past the two of you, and with a gesture of her hand the livingroom wall opens up to reveal an office full of the dead.

"Lawrence before you join the living I need to deal with one last errand, so I will see you later, and you" Juno's boney finger points to you "you have no idea what you've signed up for" and with that she was gone, the wall closes up as if nothing happened, the two of you collapse on the floor

"Shes gone" you sigh, you've never been more scared in you entire life then you were talking to Juno

"So you like your future mother in law?" Beej jabs you side

"Oh yeah, a delight" you snort, "how long do you think we have before she notices we havent gotten married?" You tone shifts to a more serious note

"No clue, guess you'll actually need to marry me now" he pulls you into a side hug

"What?" You stammer, beetlejuice laughs at your response

"HA! Just pulling your chain there doll, theres no way in hell she's coming back to check, if I know that Bitch shes going to file away those papers for me, there's no way she'll let them just sit there for who knows how long, and this time next week she'll be harping about something else" beetlejuice stands up and pulls you up with him as he sees you struggling to move in that dress, as you raise to your feet you mumble a thanks.

"You know beej, you really do clean up good, I mean, you look very handsome all dressed up" you smile, now that that two of you were safe, you felt it was the right time to say it.

The purple in the ghoul's hair quickly vanishes at your kind words and is replaced with pink.

"Well you know doll, the tux suits me, but it looks even better on the floor, you'll see on our honeymoon~"

"Is that so?"

"Dont believe me? I'll show ya right now baby~" the ghoul pulls you close pressing his chest against yours, as fun as this little exchange was it came to a halt when you yawned.

"What a way to start a weekend, early and terrified, I think I'm gonna get a few more hours of sleep" you grumbled rubbing your eye "you mind helping me out of this dress?" Beetlejuice goes wide eyed at your question, in a flash his hands were groping for the zipper on your back.

"Naughty minx" he purrs before you swat his hands away

"I ment with magic" you breath out, you may be tired, but your genitals were now wide awake.

Beetlejuice grumbles as he snaps his fingers bringing you back into your pajamas and him in his suit.

"Thank you, I guess this wouldnt be good night, see you in a bit" you shrug as you head to your bedroom to get a few more hours of sleep, you glance back at beetlejuice, who was purple once again, you frown

"Beej do you want to sleep with me? I mean you dont need to sleep, I just thought maybe, you wouldnt want to be alone right now?" After seeing his mother maybe he could use some comfort.

There was a long silence as the demon only stares back at you, you panic

"I'm sorry, that was stupid, I'll just, uh, see you in-" you babble as you spin in your heels eager to get away from this embarrassing situation. Before you could hide away in your bedroom you feel the dicey grip if the demon's hand on your shoulder, and in a deep gravely voice he purrs

"Isn't it normal for a husband and wife to sleep together?~" 

you honestly felt a shiver run up your spine.

The ghoul, now only in a pair of boxers has now cuddled up to you  his legs intertwined with yours, his arms wrapped around your waist, hand rubbing up and down your back, and head nuzzled into your chest, the demon now pink, purred feeling your hands scratching his scalp, his mother was wrong, you did love him, truly and unconditionally, maybe not now, but soon, he will marry you.

Bonus

It's been days since you met his mother, and it seems like beetlejuice has been back to stop caring about it, but sometimes you see him just staring off into space.

The ghoul had only one thing on his mind, replaying the memory over and over, of you shouting "I REALLY DO WANT TO MARRY HIM!"

[rommahh]

I Carry It In My Heart

Word count: 4.7k

I thank everyone who read part one, it meant so much to me to see the love it got. Heres part two, please comment, like reblog, whatever I just wanna hear your thoughts! I also plan on making smaller blurbs of this universe with fratrry. I have plans for a graduation, wedding, babies, and other random blurbs of their lives. Much love, R.

Part One

Y/N’s drive home was quiet. She drove the whole six hours just listening to her thoughts. Thinking about the future of a relationship she had so much hope for. She wanted this relationship so much and seeing Harry before leaving campus reassured her that maybe just maybe, Harry wanted what she wanted too.

Six hours went by and Y/N finally arrived home. She lived on a very secluded farm with her mom, dad, grandparents, uncles/aunts, and cousins. Everyone lived along the property making the family tight knit. She was scared to reveal to her family that she wasn't with Harry anymore. He grew to be a very important part of the family. Everyone saw how beautiful Harry and Y/N’s relationship was. They could see how close they were and how they just shared a really unique connection with each other.

Getting out of her car, Y/N took a moment to stretch her legs before she was bombarded by her family. Hands were pulling her into hugs, kisses were being planted on her cheek- she never felt more loved in her life. She didn't realize she was crying until her mom held her face between her hands wiping the free flowing tears from the young girl's face. The family left the mother and daughter alone to reconnect.

“What is wrong with my baby?” Her mother cradled her face as she sobs.

“Mommy, we broke up. Me and Harry broke up and- and i'm exhausted from exams, and i'm so hungry!” Y/N’s hysterics caused her mom to chuckle. She helped grab Y/N’s belongings from the trunk and then led the girl into the house. As Y/N wiped the tears from her face she hiccuped trying to catch her breath.

With her bags in her room, Y/N sat at the kitchen table as her mom placed a bowl of chilli in front of her. Her mom sat beside her rubbing her back encouraging her to eat and regain some energy.

“Tell me what happened hon?”

“We got in a really bad fight after he kissed another girl. He basically said that I was overreacting. I tried to tell him that my reaction was merely based on how I feel about our future relationship. He laughed at me and said he wasn't thinking about the future of our relationship. Tha-” She choked up again “-that this wasn't a future he wanted.” Y/N sniffled into her food as her mom guided food into her mouth.

“It's ok hon. Let me tell you something, you and Harry will be fine. It may seem like this is the end but it's not. You will get through this because you guys were made for each other. From the way that you guys know each other's thoughts to the way that you both can read each other with no problem- you two were meant to be. Me and your pa went through our own issues but look at us now. We are solid. Baby, you two will be solid.” Y/N’s mom smoothed the hair on her daughter's head smiling at the young girl.

Y/N thought about her mothers words. Hearing her mom say those things about her relationship made her feel a little better. Her mother kissed her on the forehead and told her to get to bed and get some rest.

Y/N walked into her room and immediately her eyes were drawn to the gift Harry got her. She didn't remember bringing it in her room but there it sat in all of its glory. The gold wrapping paper on the box contrasted with the dark wood of her dresser. The envelope adorned with Harry's name written in cursive.

She was tempted to open the gift but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to even touch the gift. She kept thinking about the moment she shared with Harry in the parking lot. How he made time to see her before she left. How he found time to get her a gift and bring it to her. She grabbed the gift, shoving it into the top drawer of the dresser.

As Y/N lied in her bed that night, wrapped in a blanket Harry bought her, she couldn't run her mind off. She wanted to be with Harry but she was scared of his lack of commitment. She doesn't understand his sudden lack of commitment. She mentioned marrying him in the future and he freaked out on her. It hurt to know that in a quick second, he could change his mind.

Closing her eyes she went to sleep thinking about her brown haired, green eyed boy whose heart she carries with her at all times.

Y/N felt better to be back home on the farm. This semester had mentally drained her to the point where she felt like she had nothing within herself to give. She sat in the barn behind the house watching the chickens run around as she remembered the first time Harry visited the farm.

“No Harry, you just grab them from underneath. Like cup your hands and grab!” Y/N hollered to her boyfriend as he chased chickens around trying to grab them. He couldnt get his hands on a chicken but hearing his girlfriend laughing made it all worth it. Here he was dressed in overalls while chasing chickens.

“Bubs, I cant get one.” He pouted walking back over to Y/N.

“You don't have the talent I have.” She walked over to a resting chicken and grabbed it with ease. Tucking the chicken under her arm, she scratched the top of the chicken's head and walked over to where Harry was standing in shock.

“You are something else!” She set the chicken down, watching it run away. Harry grabbed her arm, twirling her around to face him. She placed her arms atop his shoulders, fingers playing with the small curls of his head. His arms wrapped around her waist squeezing her close to him.

It was a beautiful morning on the farm. Fall break on full blast and instead of Harry going back home, he just decided to come see where his girlfriend lives. They were sophomores now, entering almost a year of dating. This had been one the best almost years of their lives.

Harry placed a gentle kiss on her plush lips. She smiled, kissing him back.

“I love you Harry.” She said, staring at his eyes. His eyes opened wide. He stepped back from her and then started jumping up and down out of happiness. He threw her over his shoulder and started running through the blades of grass like the chickens he was trying to catch earlier. Setting her down on her feet she giggled at his antics.

“I cant believe you just said that. Im so fucking in love with you. So in love.” He said squishing her cheeks together, puckering her lips and smacking a wet kiss on her mouth.

“Ew Harry gross.” she giggled as he continued to place wet slobbery kisses over her face.

Y/N was so happy to bring Harry home. She wanted to show her family this new boy that had completely captivated her heart. He fit in with her family perfectly, making jokes, helping with dinner, playing with the little ones. He was family.

Walking into the house, she was greeted with the familiar smell of her grandma's famous peach crumble. She went into the kitchen sitting at one the stools watching her grandmother whip around the kitchen baking a slew of desserts.

“Hey lovebug, you go out and see your chickies?” Her grandmother asked, never losing focus of what she was doing.

“I did, they are all growing up so quick.” Y/N laid her head down on the table staring out of the window. Head fuzzy with anxiety and muddled thoughts.

“What happened to Harry?” Y/N’s head popped off of the table as she looked at her grandmother in confusion.

“How did you know something was up?”

“You're my grandbaby, I know everything about you. You've also been moping around my house so I knew something had happened.” She took a bowl down from the cabinets scooping a hot piece of peach crumble in the bowl and placed it in front of Y/N.

“Yeah, me and Harry split up. We just had a bad fight that put us in a weird place. He cheated on me.” She scooped crumble into her mouth trying to distract herself from her sadness.

“Oh love bug. I'm really sorry about that. Did you guys talk at all?” Placing a pie in the oven, her grandmother took a seat next to Y/N stealing a bite of crumble.

“He actually said goodbye to me before I came home. He gave me a Christmas gift too. I don't know, we didn't really say much. I miss him though. He was drunk when he cheated on me, which isn't an excuse but I think he was taken advantage of. I'm not mad about him cheating on me. I was mad at how he reacted to me. Like I was in the wrong for thinking about our relationship in the long run.”

“I understand. Can I be honest with you?” Crumble gone now, Y/N turned her body to face her grandmother. She shook her head to say yes. “You and Harry will be ok. It feels like the end right now but it isn't. It really isn't. I watched you two all of that one break and I saw a resilient couple who were going to go so far. This bump in the road can be fixed. Baby that boy looks at you like you are the whole universe.” You blushed at her words.

“What do I do then?”

“Well, I think you guys should enjoy this break. Take the time to reflect on what your relationship was and what it could be. Harrys going to go home and be surrounded by family as you are now, just let yourself enjoy that time. When he comes back for school, meet up again and talk. You both are adults- you know what to do.” You took in your grandmother's words. She always knew what to say.

“Why is it that you and mom always give me advice over food?” You laughed as she winked at you kissing you on the cheek.

“Food always makes people listen.”

When Wednesday finally arrived, Harry couldn't have been happier to go home. He had been on campus all alone and just feeling like shit. Maybe it was karma for how he treated Y/N. His heart felt hollow and even though he saw her before she left campus, he knew they still weren't ok. He wanted nothing more than to just be ok with his girl. The girl who makes him feel happiest on his darkest days. He doesn't understand how he would have ruined something so perfect.

At his gate at the airport, Harry sat staring at his phone waiting for something. He didn't know what he was waiting for. He didn't deserve anything, especially because of how bad he messed up. He didn't plan on seeing Y/N last friday before she left but he didn't want to go home without seeing her face. He also spent all night writing her a letter that laid down his thoughts. He also wanted to give her a gift. He bought it at the beginning of the semester back home. He knew it was perfect for her the second he saw it.

“Welcome to British Airways, we are now boarding all priority passengers.”

Harry stood up collecting his carry on and started walking to the line forming in front of the gate. He checked his phone again. Nothing.

As the line moved forward. He checked again. Nothing.

He scanned his ticket. Checked again. Nothing.

Situating himself in his seat on the airplane, Harry didn't even bother checking his phone knowing nothing was there. He clicked his seatbelt over his lap and opened the window beside him to look outside.

His phone buzzing pulled him out of his thoughts. His breath hitched, heart lurching. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he turned the screen on.

To: Harry, from: Bubs<3

Have a safe flight Harry

Harry's eyes welled with tears.

To: Bubs<3, from: Harry

Thank you, love. It means a lot.

To: Harry, from: Bubs<3

I miss you Harry

A few of those tears tipped over the edge now rolling down his face.

To: Bubs<3, from: Harry

I miss you so much baby

And that was it. But that was all Harry needed to feel something again.

Y/N didn't know what compelled her to text Harry. She knows her grandmother told her to take some time but she just wanted to reach out to him. She wanted him to know that she was still here. She was still thinking of him and still wanted this. Whatever ‘this’ was.

Christmas eve came quickly, Y/N’s house filled with family members, food, and little children running around wreaking havoc. Y/N was sitting in her room staring at the drawer where the gift from Harry hid. She was scared to open it. Pushing that fear to the side, she walked over the drawer opening it and grabbing the box and envelope. She put the gift in her purse before grabbing her keys. She couldn't open the gift here. She needed to go somewhere quiet.

She said a quick goodbye to her parents and left the house in a hurry. She found herself parked at a small store's parking lot a few miles away from her house. She kept the car on for the heat but turned off the christmas tunes she had playing low in the background.

She opened her purse to pull the envelope out. Carefully ripping the top of the envelope she pulled out a stack of items. In the envelope were four photos and a handwritten letter. She saved the letter for last.

The first photo was of Harry and Y/N sitting on a bean bag in the library. Harry had the camera outstretched above their heads, Y/N with her face buried in a text book. This was taken in their first year during their first exam week. They were not exclusive yet but their friends knew how close they were- there was no one coming between the two of them. Y/N had been so stressed that week so Harry invited her to the library to eat lunch and study together. He helped her through some science homework which helped dramatically on her exam.

The second image was of Harry and Y/N at their favorite restaurant off campus. It was taken during their sophomore year during their one year anniversary. It was the week before spring break and they had just finished a round of midterms. Harry surprised her with a trip to her favorite restaurant. The waiter offered to take the picture because of how adorable the couple looked. In the picture they were holding hands, smiling wide to the camera. Y/N eyes welled up at how happy they looked together.

The third pic was taken during an event on campus at the end of their freshman year. It was a piece and love festival where different clubs hosted fun activities in hopes of promoting unity on campus. In the picture, Harry and Y/N were holding up braided string bracelets with beads that said their partners name. They always wore those bracelets after that day. Y/N looked down at the slightly faded bracelet on her wrist. Harrys name on her wrist reminding her that he is always with her no matter what. Cheesy as it may be but the cheap string with plastic was something she would never part with.

The last picture was taken on Y/N’s farm. It was by the barn where Harry and Y/N were chasing chickens. It was taken from a high angle from afar. Harry had her on his shoulder and they were both visibly laughing. They had matching overalls with embroidery done by Y/N's aunt. On the back of the picture, Y/N could recognize Harry's handwriting as it said, “Your Grandma emailed me this picture when we got back to campus. She said that she couldn't help but take the picture when she saw how happy you looked.” Y/N laughed at his sloppy handwriting and her grandmother's words.

The last piece of the envelope was the letter. Y/N slowly unraveled the folded paper, smoothing out the crinkles. Taking a deep breath she began reading.

Y/N,

In my eyes, our future is filled with love. I see us buying a small house in your home town because I know you love home. I know you also said you may want to live in a city so if our plans were to change, I could see us living in a small apartment, decorated by you of course, with bookshelves that towered to the ceiling and many plush blankets littering the rooms. I see us working hard during the day and enjoying each other during the evening when we come home. I see bubble baths and fun new dinner recipes. I see me bringing you flowers to brighten your day from a long day of work. I see us travelling to all of the places you have pinned on your “for the future” pinterest board. I see us having a small wedding, my family, your family, some friends and that's it. I'd let you do whatever you like for the wedding because I want to see you happy.

I see little ones. Direct copies of you and me running around in the backyard as we try chasing them and tickling them. I see bedtime stories and fun days at the park. Picnics in the meadow and swimming in the lake. Catching chickens and rough housing with the goats. Pasta sauce around the mouth after a good meal. Frozen yogurt with all of the toppings. I see everything with you. There's not a moment where I don't see us together. I think about our graduation and where we will be after graduation.

I see a future with you and I was an ass to say otherwise. You are everything to me. I should be doing more for our relationship like I used to. I want to take you out on more dates and shower you in gifts because you deserve it. I love you so much. Please don't give up on me and all of the memories we've created. I want it all with you.

School has been hurting me pretty bad and I took it out on you. I cheated on you because I was too drunk to think properly. I hurt the only person whose opinion I hold higher than anyone else's. We built a beautiful relationship of trust and boundaries and I ruined it for no reason. I want to do better. Please let me show you that I can do better.

I found this poem that reminded me of you. I know you like poems and this poem speaks for me wholly.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Have a lovely break and I hope to be able to see you after.

Love Harry.

His letter left the girl speechless. He said everything she wanted to hear. Looking at her phone she checked the time.

7:36 pm

Its about 12 am in london.

Without a second thought she opened Harry's facetime profile and pressed the call button.

Ring. Ring. Ri-

“Love? Are you alright? Did something happen?” Harry was quick to answer, looking half awake and flustered. Y/N broke down in tears immediately. “Y/N are you ok, baby?”

“Harry.” She wailed. It was embarrassing but all of the pent emotion she was holding in finally breached. She couldn't stop crying. Harry sat up from his laying down position in bed holding the phone closer to his face to inspect his girl.

“It's ok bubs, whatever it is, it's ok. I promise it's ok.” Harry tries consoling the girl. Her tears reduced to small sniffles.

“I read your letter Harry. It's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I want it all with you too. I've always wanted it with you. Since the day we met Harry.” He let out a watery laugh so overwhelmed with emotions. She wiped her face of tears looking back at the letter next to her.

“Y/N I love you so much. I do. I know I'm not that good at expressing my emotions but I do want a future with you. I'm hurting knowing I hurt the best thing that's ever happened to me.” His tears continued to flow freely.

“It's ok Harry. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not hurt either I promise. I think I was more upset that we were done. I don't want us to be done. I really don't.”

“I don't want us to be done either. I really want to marry you. Maybe not right now but in time I wanna get married.” He paused, wiping his face. “I wanna get married on your farm, maybe put the chickies in little tuxedos.” She giggled at his proposition.

“They would hate you even more if you did that.” They shared a laugh and then some silence. “I guess it's technically Christmas over there huh? Well Merry Christmas H.”

“It is christmas isn't it? Merry Christmas bubs. Did you open the box?” She grabbed the box next to her to show Harry shaking her head. She unwrapped the paper and revealed a box with a logo she wasn't familiar with.

“What's this?” He encouraged her to keep opening the gift. Lifting the top of the box she let out a loud gasp upon seeing a beautiful gold bracelet sitting on a satin pillow. She placed her phone on the phone stand on her dashboard so she could have both hands to look at the bracelet. The bracelet was gold and thin with a nameplate in the middle. Engraved on the nameplate was Harry's name.

“You went silent on me...Do you like it?” Y/N couldn't stop looking at the bracelet in her hand.

“Harry...It's gorgeous. It's so gorgeous.” She whispered. She slid the perfectly fit bracelet on her hand watching it fall in front of her handmade bracelet. The two bracelets adorned her wrist perfectly. “I love you so much H.”

“I love you too, I do. I can't wait to see you in person and talk.” He replies with his heart clenching in a good way, watching his girl smile happily at her gift.

“Om bubby, I'll let you go to sleep. I love you, spend time with your family and then come back to me as the same Harry I fell in love with.” He smiled, whispering goodnight and hanging up.

Going home that night, Y/N’s family watched her come back into the house walking lighter on her feet and looking happier than she did when she came home from school. She showed her bracelet off to her parents as her grandmother made her a plate of food. She smiled at everyone and talked the whole night. Her grandmother watched from afar feeling her heart fill with joy at her granddaughter's happiness.

As Christmas break went on Harry and Y/N continued to keep their relationship moving slowly. Only calling each other once a day and giving each the much needed space to heal with their respective family. Y/N facetimed him on christmas giving him a youtuber esq. Haul of all of her gifts while he laughed at her silliness. He did the same thing with half the enthusiasm.

As move in day approached, Y/N felt herself becoming worried about her relationship. She worried that when she saw Harry, their relationship would slowly deteriorate. Little did she know that she had no reason to be so afraid. Harry was on his flight back to school ready to hug and hold his girl. He was ready to reunite and be the couple they used to be. He was ready to be a better partner for his girl.

“Alright girly, looks like we got everything squished in your car. Are you sure you've got everything?” Y/N’s mom asked sarcastically. Y/N huffed shoving another bag in the passenger seat.

“Yup that should be it.”

“Ok, well you give me a hug and get going.” Y/N rushed into her mom's arms. Her mom kissed her on the forehead and left Y/N and her grandmother to talk on their own.

“Bye grandma, i'm going to miss you.” Her grandmother held her arms tight.

“You get back to campus and see that boy ok? You go and be in love. You too are old enough to know what you want and this relationship is something you obviously both want.”

Kissing her grandma goodbye, she got in her car and started her drive back to school.

It only took Y/N one trip from her car to her dorm to unload all of her belongings. She was able to snag one of the big trolleys to push her things inside. She watched as friends reunited, she even said hi to a few of her friends but her mind was set on one person. She grabbed her wallet and phone from her dorm and left quickly on a journey to get to Harry’s frat.

The air was cool but Y/N felt warm from how quickly she was booking it to Harry. Harry, just like Y/N, immediately left his room to see Y/N. Having not seen her in a month and some of exam week- he couldn't wait to see her. Harry saw Y/N’s familiar face walking down the sidewalk of his frat and he stopped in his tracks. She smiled her bright, beautiful smile before running over to where he stood. Her arms hooked around his neck as his arms adjusted around her waist. He stumbled a bit from the force of her hug but stood his ground nonetheless.

She held him tight, legs bound around his waist, a few stray tears falling from her eyes. He held her just as tightly, hands tightly holding her thighs and back.

“Hi bubby.” She said in his ear, face burrowed in his neck. He set her down and reached for her face.

‘Hi baby.” She blushed at his nickname. They looked into each other's eyes and time froze like it always did between them. Y/N broke theri moment by pulling his face to hers. They kissed like they hadnt kissed in years. To them the time they spent away from each other felt like years. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces. Pulling apart, Harry stared down at his heart, tears begging to be free. He opened his mouth to say something and she stopped him.

“It's ok Harry. My baby, it's ok. We are ok.”

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Taglist: marlananicole17

[oriigirii]

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

=====

{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

========

< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

------

ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

like

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

OH

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen 

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

[antiloreolympus]

7 Anti LO Asks

1. Do you know what really gets my blood boiling about this comic? Persephone and Demeter's relationship.

In the myths, Demeter and Persephone loved each other more than anything. Their reunion is so important - it marked the coming of spring and growth. A whole cult was dedicated to this for crying out loud. Yes, the myths were far from perfect, but the Persephone and Demeter myth showed the strength of a loving mother-daughter relationship with Demeter searching endlessly to find her child that was ripped away and had her innocence forcibly taken.

Now, RS is not the only author to make Demeter this over-bearing mother type in order to put more positivity onto the Hades-Persephone relationship. However, RS takes this trend to a whole new level - to the point where I would even consider it misogyny.

How is it, she takes this beautiful mother-daughter relationship and makes it out to be an abusive and controlling one, and then takes the Hades-Persephone relationship from a forceful one to a loving, perfect relationship with no problems? How is it ok to ruin one relationship to elevate another?

I understand that many versions of the myth try to downplay Hades' actions, and even make it so Persephone actually falls in love with him and there is no rape. But it doesn't change that this relationship was problematic, and meant to represent the loss of innocence.

Then fans have the gall to claim this comic is feminist and then claim on top of that that Demeter and Persephone's relationship was the same in the myth? These fans clearly don't know the myths, and neither does RS.

Making Hades a good person is fine. Changing it up a bit to make Persephone's loss of innocence something else is also fine. But ruining Demeter and Persephone's relationship? Especially when Persephone has to spend half the year with her? So horrible. 

2. im sorry, but rachel cant introduce KRONOS coming back and then dropping it for several episodes to focus on a stake-less trail and persephone not knowing what lingerie to seduce hades in. like thats too much of an earth shaking development and huge stake plot point to just ignore for months to focus instead on something as minor as hxp's relationship, which only points out a huge flaw: why is hxp's relationship so minor in this? isnt the whole point supposed to be about them?

3. I think LO completely dropped the ball over Hades’ characterization. 

From the first ep I thought ok, this is good, we have some bones to see he’s not that lucky in love and is just tired and lonely, and while ignoring the creepy actions towards Persephone, I thought ok, Artemis hates him, Hestia hates, even Ares hates him, maybe once Persephone finally sees the underworld and probably gets to know him it’ll be a clever twist and they’ll be proven wrong. The underworld will turn out to be fair and just, the citizens will love Hades, he’ll be revealed to be a good leader and king and not like his brothers, it’ll be like everyone saying Hades of myth isn’t actually that bad, and it’ll help reinforce why this sweet and bubbly Persephone wants him, she sees the real him, not the mean rumors and assumptions, this is perfect.

And then it just didn’t happen. The exact opposite happened, actually.

We’re shown the LO underworld is cruel and unjust, where the poor dead are forced into slavery and Hades created a harsh class divide with him and him only on top, the citizens hate him, the underworld gods don’t trust him and openly seem ok if he’s taken out of power, he’s not a good leader and king and doesn’t even want the job yet keeps it for his own ego and grip of power m, and on top of it all he is just like his brothers, if not worse. He loves to get violent over any little slight against him, he hoards wealth and resources to enrich himself while his citizens starve and struggle to survive, he’s corrupt, he controls all the media and laws to bend to his will, sleeps with his brothers wife for centuries behind his back while claiming to be holier than thou, he has sex with his secretaries who are made dependent on him for any way to survive, and now he lusts after his barely legal intern who is also now dependent on him for her way to survive, and that’s only what I remember off the top of my head.

LO perfectly set up to prove Hades isn’t the devil or the false pop culture assumption that he’s evil and to show some actual facts from myth, and yet Rachel only ended up reinforcing exactly that and even making him even worse with her made up ideas, all while thinking having Persephone ignore or excuse it somehow makes it not bad or even a good thing. It’s honestly kind of impressive just how bad of writing that actually is. 

4. Chapter 172 is not that interesting. It’s setup had me excited to see Hephaestus and Hera and learning more about echo, but it’s cut so short. Because again the story can’t leave HXP out for 2 seconds.

I can also see why Zeus is gonna go insane. 

5. i agree w/ other anon. LO should have pulled a PJO or a BoZ and just made up OCs and have them interact with the gods than whatever Rachel thinks shes doing, which is lying she's being accurate and faithful while completely changing all of it, removing what is needed, and adding what isnt so that it lines up with no actual myth besides like, various 50 shades fanfic she read in 2015 and some popular tumblr text posts.

6 . the animation studio behind blood of zeus literally can only draw one face for the men and one face for the women and they were still able to make the gods all look distinct and hot while LO can't even bother to use more than 6 colors and can only have the women look as tiny as possible with the biggest boobs while the men are all just lego men.

7. ////FP SPOILERS////

Okay so like I stopped reading LO way back before season 1 ended, and a majority of my knowledge of the series comes from what I read here on your blog which is enough for me lol and I decided to read the latest 5 chapters just to see what's up (on zahard. I refuse to give the actual series any views)

And I just. Could not take the whole scene with Daphne running from Apollo seriously? The anatomy and art inconsistency was so distracting that i genuinely could not find it serious. Even when Thanatos discovers her hibernated body I couldn't take it seriously because of how she looked?

And when Hades had that call (??? Was it a call? Or his inner dialogue? I couldn't really tell ngl) with Zeus and said he's causing Persephone unnecessary distress, and that she didn't pose any threat. B!tch??? She killed a ton of mortals??? She has no control over her powers???? She's literally a fugitive for the aforementioned things??? She apparently woke Kronos up? (Idk if anyone knows about that, again my knowledge only spans to whatever I read here) Hello????

And I have a lot to say about the chapters starting the trial but I'll only mention one thing; Hades saying "I don't think blindly supporting my little brother would be doing him any favours (as a ruler)" had me cackling. This is coming from a guy blindly supporting a girl he's literally only known for a few weeks, who's like what, only recently turned 20? Sit tf down Hades you're not cool, you creepy ass overgrown smurf.

Overall I still hate this series lmao. Regarding art though I feel like I wouldn't be so miffed about the anatomy much if the character designs were consistent and the story was compelling. They literally change hairstyles and body types frame by frame, and it's distracting.

The timeline from what I read here is laughable. 4 years in publication with almost 200 chapters and you're telling me only like a month has passed canonically. That's wild and such poor writing.

And as someone who literally will sympathise with any lead character pretty quickly, the story makes me hate them. It makes me want to root against them. I also hate the fact this trash is somehow top ranked on webtoons when so many other stories are far better then it.

Anyway, many thanks to this blog for existing and allowing me to dump so much text here to vent out my hate for this series lmao. You the mvp fam, hope you're having a good day 🥂🥂🥂

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[tigerkirby215]

5e Samira, the Desert Rose build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Jessica 'OwleyCat' Oyhenart. Made for Riot Games.)

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Still fucking hate this champ but her theme still slaps.

The eternal joke of me putting off making a build for Samira is finally over, though ironically enough my distain for this champ has only grown overtime. Jesus fucking Christ Rito can you nerf this champ’s goddamn damage? Like nerfing her lifesteal is nice and all but it doesn’t mean shit when my dumbfuck teammates picked 4 assassins into her and I’m the only one who can CC her as a Lulu.

Ah well: Samira still definitely fills a fantasy everyone wants, being a badass with sword and gun styling on the competition. Devil May Cry? Yeah I suppose Samira would be pretty good in a campaign against Fiends.

GOALS

You want style? You've found her - Smile, Sweet, Sister, Sadistic; we’ll need to Surprise the Service with Style to Spare. Sssssssssssssssssamira.

Eyes up! - We’ll need to be everywhere at once, dashing and dancing around the battlefield so no one can lock us down.

Showtime! - When push comes to shove it’s time to speeeeeeeeeen~

RACE

Samira is human no matter what the meta might dictate, and for once in my life I actually want something particular from Variant Human. But firstly: you can increase two Ability Scores of your choice by 1: increase both Dexterity and Wisdom for sharp sight and sharper shots. You also get a skill of your choice and a language of your pleasing. For your skill take Slight of Hand for flips and other gun tricks, and for your language Infernal will be good for your Inferno Trigger.

Again: we came to Variant Human land for a Feat because two guns are better than one. The Crossbow Expert Feat will give you a variety of benefits: no need to reload (or at least the ability to ignore the Loading property), no disadvantage in melee range... But most importantly if you fire a Hand Crossbow (which will be working as our handgun in this build) you can fire it again as a Bonus Action! "Well! Look at you."

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - Dexterity is tied to both shooting and backflips.

14; CHARISMA - Who needs a military license when you’ve got style?

13; WISDOM - Wisdom measures how in-tune you are with the world around you, and you need heightened senses not to die doing stupid shit.

12; CONSTITUTION - Most of Samira’s sustain comes from Lifesteal but we won’t really be able to get lifesteal, so just focus on not dying really.

10; STRENGTH - It takes a lot of upper body strength to do the stuff that Samira does but Riot isn’t about to make another Illaoi.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Your primary goal is to do things as recklessly and dangerously as possible... “for the Vine” as the kids say. Vine shut down ages ago!

BACKGROUND

Samira is a mercenary. I wonder if there’s a background for that... hey look at that Mercenary Veteran in the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide! You get proficiency in Athletics and Persuasion as well as Ground Vehicles and a gaming set of your choice. But of course the main benefit of being a mercenary is the Mercenary Life. You can easily identify other mercenaries and know bits and pieces of their lives. You can also easily find work by hanging around taverns and such until Captain Indari passes on some info to you.

(Artwork made for Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue because I like skill proficiencies! Skills like Acrobatics, Perception, Insight, and Performance; you were a street performer once! You also get Expertise in two of those skills: Acrobatics and Athletics are necessary to be everywhere at once.

You can chat in Noxian military code thanks to Thieves’ Cant, but c’mon that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here for Sneak Attack! If an enemy is distracted or you have advantage you can stick a d6 where the sun don’t shine!

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get Cunning Action, letting them Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. Dance around the battlefield like an Olympic gymnast... does Runeterra have the Olympics?

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype: to be the queen of style and also make people think you’re from Bilgewater (yeah I get it; it’s because of the eyepatch) look no further than the Swashbuckler subclass. Swashbucklers get two abilities at level 1 but honestly it’s more like three abilities: Rakish Audacity will let you add your Charisma modifier to initiative rolls so you can get into fights fast, and will also let you Sneak Attack anyone who’s beside you. I’d consider it less like you sneak attacking them and more like you slashing them with your sword. Oh and speaking of Sneak Attack? That increases to 2d6 now.

Speaking of sword slashing: Fancy Footwork is the mobile feat! Well, it makes it so that after you try to make a melee attack against an enemy you can move away without provoking opportunity attacks. It’s a little weird to run around with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other but you can easily slash at someone before backflipping away and running off to shoot them next turn!

(Artwork by @Aruneeko on Twitter)

LEVEL 4 - BARD 1

You didn’t think we’d be settling for just one class, did you? It’s time to go Bard; the masters of style! Bards get another skill proficiency at level 1 because why not be good at everything? Grab Medicine proficiency because it’s good to know how to bandage yourself up when living a dangerous lifestyle. “On my worst behavior." You also get a musical instrument and you know that I’ll always opt for good ol’ Noxian War Drums.

Bards get Bardic Inspiration, letting them show off their awesomeness so that awesomeness radiates onto their allies to give them a d6 to attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws. You’ve got a number of these equal to your Charisma modifier, and regain them at the end of a Long Rest. For now, at least.

And of course while you may be all guns your style makes it look like Spellcasting... because it is. Bards get 2 cantrips and 4 spells at level 1:

CANTRIPS

Prestidigitation will let you put all the visual flair you could want on your moves, and more!

If you wanna walk the walk you’ve gotta talk the talk, and Vicious Mockery will let you talk smack so hard they can’t hit back! "Keep the change; you're gonna need it."

SPELLS

Magic is usually dangerous, and danger is usually fun! Take Detect Magic to see where that danger may be!

If you need some space in a pinch Thunderwave will give yourself some peel.

Steel yourself to do something crazy with Heroism, which will also give you a bit of a shield to do so!

You are still technically working for Noxus so it would be good to Identify anything important... or valuable... For safe keeping of course!

LEVEL 5 - BARD 2

Second level Bards truly are good at everything thanks to Jack of All Trades, letting you add half your proficiency bonus to any skill you don’t have proficiency in. You probably noticed that we already have proficiency in a silly amount of skills but I’m not going to say no to MORE!

After dangerous stunts it’s good to cool off with a Song of Rest, letting you help your crew with a d6 of healing during short rests to bandage up those wounds.

And of course: more spells! Faerie Fire will let you light ‘em up to get advantage, which will make it easier to sneak attack!

LEVEL 6 - BARD 3

Third level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: Perception will help you spot danger and Medicine will help you after dealing with danger.

But of course what we’re mainly here for is your Bardic College and in order to be too cool for school go for the College of Swords. You get some Bonus Proficiencies that don’t really matter but what does matter is you can use your sword to cast spells instead of a drum! Additionally you get a choice of Fighting Style and Dueling will make your sword swings do more damage if you swing it with one hand. I guess it’s worth mentioning that while a rapier would do the most damage a scimitar is the only finesse weapon that does slashing? (Excluding whips.)

But the main feature we’re here for is Blade Flourish which despite the name does also work with your hand crossbows. When you attack your movement speed increases by 10 feet as you charge up that Daredevil Impulse. If you hit with your shot however you can make a Blade Flourish (which again works with your hand crossbows?) of your choice from the following list:

Defensive Flourish does extra damage and also increases your AC as you dodge incoming projectiles.

Slashing Flourish will let you cleave with your sword (and just your sword because it only works on nearby enemies.)

Mobile Flourish will let you chase after a fleeing foe... after pushing them. But after shoving them into danger you can use your reaction to dive right in!

You can only use one Blade Flourish per turn which will matter later. As for what will matter now? Second level spells! Enhance Ability will help you give 110%!

LEVEL 7 - BARD 4

Heeey it’s about time we got an Ability Score Improvement! Our Dexterity has been lacking and you need that to fire straight!

Word of advice: if you know you aren’t going to level 20 feel free to get 4 levels in Rogue for the sake of the ASI.

You also get another spell, and another cantrip! For your cantrip Message is always good for keeping in team chat. For leveled spells Warding Wind does let you deflect nearby projectiles so... 

LEVEL 8 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration so their Bardic Inspiration die come back on a Short Rest, which is good because said Bardic Inspiration die also increases to a d8! Oh and when I say “Bardic Inspiration” I actually mean your Blade Flourish die. "If you can't keep up don't step up. I don't have time for fools."

And now third level spells are up on the table, but they all suck so take Mirror Image from the second level instead, which was added to the Bard spell list thanks to Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything!

(Artwork by GaMu-ChAn on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 1

Three way multiclass? Don’t mind if I do! You get an extra skill proficiency by multiclassing into Ranger, because why not. Take Survival because you’re clearly damn good at it since you’re still alive.

Rangers get Deft Explorer at level 1 because Natural Explorer sucks and Tasha’s made Ranger a good class! Canny lets you learn two languages (honestly just pick your poison) and get Expertise in another skill, because lord knows we don’t have enough of those. I know we just got Survival proficiency, but it’s good to be good at not dying! (As well as finding food.)

You also get Favored Foe at first level, because Favored Enemy smells. If you shoot someone you can legally-not-Hunter’s Mark them so they take a d4 of extra damage once per turn when you shoot them. You concentrate on it like a spell and it works a lot like the Hunter’s Mark spell but you have a limited number of uses equal to your proficiency bonus, instead of using your spell slots.

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 2

Heeey more Fighting Styles! You already improved your sword swings so take Archery for +2 to ranged attack rolls to ensure that you hit your shots.

Rangers also get Spellcasting, only this spellcasting works with your Wisdom instead of your Charisma! You learn two spells from the Ranger list: Jump will let you do some hardcore parkour because the Ranger spell list sucks and I’ve got nothing else to give you, and Cure Wounds will allow Samira to have some healing... as a treat.

LEVEL 11 - RANGER 3

Third level Rangers can choose their archetype and Hunters are masters at taking down their foes. You can choose a way to take down your Hunter’s Prey. Colossus Slayer is a fairly simple affair: if you shoot (or stab) someone who’s already hurt they take an extra d8 of damage. Though you can only apply that extra d8 once per turn.

You also learn another spell: Longstrider will help you move thanks to that Daredevil Impulse. 10 feet may not seem like much but remember that you get an extra 10 feet thanks to Blade Flourish and can dash to turn 50 feet into 100 feet of movement!

Oh and I also completely forgot about Primal Awareness, which replaces Primeval Awareness. You can Speak with Animals once per day! Maybe not in character, but it helps if you have a Yuumi!

LEVEL 12 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement: time to finally cap that Dexterity score for the most precise shots and deadly cuts possible!

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - RANGER 5

Total level 13 isn’t too late to get an Extra Attack, right? Well you can shoot twice now and mix some more Flair into your combos.

You can also learn second level spells now like Aid (ty Tasha’s) to let that adrenaline kick in so you feel no pain. Primal Awareness also gives you Beast Sense for a bit of covert Psy Ops.

LEVEL 14 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers get Roving from Deft Explorer for 5 extra feet of movement along with a climbing speed and a swimming speed! Reminder that in combination with both Longstrider and Blade Flourish that increases to a whopping 55 movement speed, which means that you can Dash as a Bonus Action to move 110 feet in a turn! "Danger runs from me." Your Favored Foe mark also increases to a d6 of damage.

LEVEL 15 - RANGER 7

7th level Hunters learn some Defensive Tactics: while perhaps not the most useful since you have Heroism and all you’ve certainly got a Steel Will, giving you advantage against being frightened. “Death isn't the scariest thing; it's a mother's rage."

You can also learn another spell: Lesser Restoration can be helpful in a pinch if someone’s trying to slow you down. Or at least if they’re trying to blind, deafen, poison, or paralyze you.

LEVEL 16 - RANGER 8

8th level of Ranger means another Ability Score Improvement: Charisma means higher initiative rolls as well as more Blade Flourishes. Simply put Wisdom can’t beat style!

Oh yeah and you also get Land’s Stride to move through non-magical difficult terrain and plants without slowing down, and for advantage against magic plants. I legit forgot this was even a thing before seeing it on the character sheet.

(Artwork by dominaART on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 17 - RANGER 9

9th level Rangers get 3rd level spells like Conjure Barrage for some bullet rain; "My kind of rain!" Basically you shoot a bunch of bullets in a big cone, because Rangers get this instead of Fireball. Honestly something like Elemental Weapon (ty Tasha’s) would probably be better but we’re still sticking to flavor.

Oh and you can Speak with Plants thanks to Primal Awareness? Honestly these extra spells don’t fit at all but Primeval Awareness sucks. I’m literally adding these extra spells to the build last second.

LEVEL 18 - RANGER 10

10th level Rangers get Tireless from Deft Explorer. As an action, you can give yourself a Shieldbow shield for 1d8 + your Wisdom modifier in Temporary Hitpoints. You can do this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Additionally: whenever you finish a short rest, your exhaustion level is decreased by 1. Because danger doesn’t wait!

You also get Nature’s Veil because even if Vanish fits Samira better it still freaking sucks. Basically you can play around with Duskblade to turn invisible as a Bonus Action until the end of your next turn. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

LEVEL 19 - RANGER 11

11th level Hunters can finally spin around and hit everyone around them. Whirlwind Attack will let you make a melee attack against any enemy within 5 feet of you (with a separate attack roll for each target.) This is best used when surrounded (obviously) because unlike Samira’s ultimate in League it doesn’t do much extra damage, and you’re better off just stabbing them twice if you want DPS in a 1v1.

You also get your final spell known: take Wind Wall because you have an AoE Wind Wall and I thought it would be funny to steal directly from mister 0/10 powerspike himself. But really get whatever spell you think will be useful.

LEVEL 20 - RANGER 12

Full disclosure: feel free to go for 4 levels in Rogue if you know you aren’t going to hit level 20. I only went for Ranger level 12 because the hit die is bigger.

One last ability score improvement to top the build off: Charisma is still used for a lot of abilities, so increase that because who needs common sense when you’ve got blade flourishes!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Came all this way to die? - You have many a way to bump up the damage. With 2d6 on a sneak attack, an extra d6 from Favored Foe, a d8 from Blade Flourishes, and a d8 from Colossus Slayer that means that on average you can do about 20 extra damage every turn. That’s definitely nothing to sneeze at!

Finally some action! - Have you ever had +12 to initiative? Would you like to? You are incredibly mobile for a girl who didn’t bring Flash (IE Misty Step) with tons of ways to increase your movement speed and the ability to Dash every turn as a Bonus Action.

This took years of practice... for everyone else - It was not my intention but wow you’re quite the little skill monkey. Two expertise skills from Rogue, another 2 from Bard, and one more from Deft Explorer. Not to mention Jack of All Trades in what few skills you aren’t proficient in to make sure you can do just about anything.

CONS

Oh... I really gotta check these more often - Your spellcasting really isn’t fantastic. We invested almost everything into Charisma but we have very few Bard spells. While I did my best to avoid Ranger spells that forced saving throws there are still some that suffer due to your relatively low Wisdom score... Oh yeah you also have 6th level spell slots but your known spells don’t go past level 3. At least that means you can buff the party with Aid!

I feel most alive when I'm walking the line - As great as your skill checks are your saving throws are quite lacking. Your Dexterity is nice but that’s about it; all your other saves range from average (+5) to bad (+0) Notably your Constitution saves are a mere +1, which means you won’t keep concentration up for long if you play recklessly.

Well-behaved women don't make it - There are a lot of features I took more for flavor then actual utility. For a start Hunter is a rather meh multiclass. This might be one of the times “just play a Fighter with a bow” applies as a subclass like Battlemaster would’ve likely been a better choice, and honestly going down full Swords Bard would’ve given you far more utility overall. There were benefits from Ranger levels but they were lost in the multiclassing MADness.

But you prove that modern-day killers really must hate fun; more often people can’t get style rockin' knives and guns. You don’t need no fancy magic or divine ascension to be a badass: gun ‘em down and cut through whatever remains to show that S stands for Samira and Samira alone... As long as she isn’t permabanned.

(Artwork by @Yangyexin on Twitter)

[whumpasaurus101]

Five Past Three

Oki ik i said i was on a writing break but uhmmmmm feck that :) here is some Pheonix content BC THE POOR BEBE HAS BEEN NEGLECTED OMG!!! SO here is some backstory shenanigans that are sorta important to know heheh 👀

CW: drug use (not in too much detail but oc is high.) / i cant think of anything else BUT if i missed anything plz plz plzzzz lmk!!!!!

masterlist

Pheonix collapsed to the ground with a grunt. His whole body was tingling, almost numb. He felt as if everyone in the world was watching him. He lifted his head, no one.

The wind blew more, making Pheonix shiver.

He could still feel the pounding of the nightclub’s music in his head. Not the one he worked at, oh no no, he wouldn't get high at the place he worked at.

He scrambled in his pocket with numb fingers, trying his best to take out his phone. He tried to put in his passcode, 1-7-8-5, try again, 1-4-5-6, try again “FUCK!” Pheonix yelled, throwing his phone across the car park, hearing it crack against the concrete.

“Who’s there?” Came a voice. Pheonix curled up more in on himself. “Son, are you alright?” Phoenix's head snapped up to see an old man standing in front of him. His vision was shaking as he tried to focus in on the man. He could hear him talking but he couldn't understand! He sounded so far away, yet, he was just about a meter away.

“Hey -ah! Ya reak, boy! What did you take?!”

“Wh-what time is it?” Pheonix’s shaky voice asked. “It's five past three in the mornin’, lad. Now, are ya gonna answer my question?” Pheonix shook his head. No. To be fully honest, Pheonix didn’t know himself. He shouldn't have been so reckless! How did he even get in the carpark? He didn't remember walking here.

“This is dangerous! Someone coulda just picked you from the streets and- well, God knows what would happen! You're lucky I saw ya, lad.” His phone! That's what he was doing! “C-could you pass me my phone please, it-it's over there.” The man looked at him, confused at first before he saw the phone lying there. He strolled over and picked it up, studying the cracked screen.

The lock screen came on and the man could see some notifications. Ten missed calls from Sammy, a bunch of text messages from Sammy too and then just some regular notifications. “Well, it seems as if someone is worried about you, ya better call them back before they go absolutely mad lookin’ for ya, ay?”

Pheonix just held out his hand for the phone before asking again, “What time is it?” The man huffed, “Lad, you just asked, it's still five past three.” Pheonix’s eyebrows furrowed, “N-no, you told me that ages ago, th-the- I-”

“Shhh, it's alright, relax yourself.” He passed Pheonix’s phone over and pointed at the time, “See?” He asked in a gentle voice. Pheonix nodded as he saw the numbers through tear-filled eyes.

“I-I- yes, I’m sorry-” “Hey, no need. Now, how about you ring your friend there and we can sort out how we can get ya home. How does that sound?” Pheonix nodded as he tried to put in his passcode once more. His hands were shaking violently as his numb fingers attempted to key in the numbers. Please try again.

“Here, how about I’ll put it in for you and you can do the talking, aye?” Pheonix nodded, “The uh, the passcode is 1-4-5-2. The man put in the code and Pheonix’s phone unlocked. The man opened the phone app and pressed the contact ‘Sammy’. It only took one ring until Sammy’s desperate voice was heard, “Pheonix?!? Pheonix are you okay?! God I'm gonna kill you if I haven't already died from a heart attack!" Pheonix chuckled slowly, " ‘m okay Sammy. Well, kinda. Theres a uh,, a man with me.”

“WHAT?! PHEONIX PUT ME ON SPEAKER RIGHT NOW!”

“Ay, it's okay, he’s makin’ it sound a lot worse than it is,” The man chuckled. Pheonix laughed, almost falling from his sitting position. “It's alright, my name is Hudson Wheeler, I’ll share the location where we are now. I was walkin’ back to my car when I saw your friend here, someone must have roofied him.. Unless he took the drugs himself. Although, I haven't gotten much chat from him.”

Sammy’s breathing was heavy on the other line as he tried to decide whether to believe it. “Alright, alright, stay on the call and send me your location right now.” Hudson went into messages and selected the button to share the location, he waited for a moment before asking, “Have you got it?”

“Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ, Pheonix. Alright, how long can you stay with him for, Hudson?”

“As long as you need. You know, I can bring him anywhere if you need me to?”

“No, no, sorry, but no. I- I’ll collect him but it might take me a little while.”

“That's alright. No worries, I have all the time in the world.” Sammy let out a sigh of relief, “Uhm, thank you. Thanks for helping him and I’m sorry I was salty at the start. He’s just, well we've had some bad experiences when it comes to this stuff in the past.”

“Hey, it's all good! You're a great friend.”

“See you sooooon Ssssssammmmyyyyy,” Pheonix laughed.

“Mhm… see you soon.”

Sammy hung up and Hudson looked at Pheonix, shaking his head and chuckled.

Sammy rushed out to the driveway of their house and quickly hopped into his car, keys, wallet, water, phone. That's everything, they thought. They quickly turned on the engine and reversed out of the driveway. They pulled up a map on their phone and followed the directions that came up on the screen.

They put the volume of the radio on full volume and drove. He knew he was driving over the speed limit but he had to get to his friend. They had to. Their foot pressed down on the excelerator more than intended but they didn't notice.

They didn't notice until police sirens started to blare. “No! SHIT!” They slammed the steering wheel with all his force, making their palms turn red. They thought about just speeding and avoiding the police, but he had enough things that they could get caught for than that.

They growled and pulled over, running a hand through their hair. A policeman came over and tapped on the window. Sammy blew out a huff of air and pulled down the window, “Hey officer.”

The officer shone a flashlight into the car, making Sammy wince and cover their eyes. “HEY! Hands up slowly, no sudden movements.” “I'm s-sorry officer!”

“It's alright, now, do you know why I pulled you over?” The officer’s thick Southern accent spoke. “I'm sorry, I was going way above the speed limit, I just- I wasn't thinking, I just-” “Hey, hey, hey, no need to get wound up now alright?” Sammy nodded. “Alright, and where are you going to?”

Sammy thought for a moment, they couldn't give away too much. Pheonix had taken drugs. The last thing Sammy would want is their friend to get arrested!! “I uhm, I'm just going to pick up my friend.” “Mhmm, alright. Listen, you seem like a good person, although I am quite curious why you're out this late, but listen. Drive slower and focus, got it?” Sammy nodded quickly, “Y-yes officer, thank you so much officer, I promise it won’t happen again.” The police officer chuckled slightly, “It's alright, safe drive.” “You too.”

The officer patted the window and smiled and Sammy drove off. Slow, slow, easy, calm, relax. They looked to the map, fifteen minutes.

Hudson looked over to Pheonix who was now lying on the ground, eyes wide as he looked up at night sky. Tears streamed down his face. “Hey now, why are you crying?” Pheonix licked his dry lips and shrugged. He could see streaks of pink and green in the sky, he guessed Hudson couldn't see them.

Hudson dug into his backpack, “Ah, I knew I had it!” He took out a water bottle, “Here, sit up.” He supported Pheonix’s back and helped him sit up. He brought the water bottle to Pheonix’s lips and gently tipped the water.

Pheonix was fully leaning against Hudson for support. He gulped the water quickly and whined as Hudson took the bottle away. “Hey, I cant have ya gettin sick alright?” Pheonix whined but nodded. He then turned his body with a groan and cuddled into Hudson as he shivered.

Hudson sighed as he looked at Pheonix, “What are ya doin’ to yourself, lad?” He shielded his eyes as bright lights suddenly shone. “Looks like your friend is here. Hey, wake up.” Hudson slowly stood up, carrying Pheonix by the shoulders with him.

Sammy rushed out of their car and dashed over to Pheonix, “Oh my god, Pheonix, you idiot! Here, can you help me get him into the car please?” “Of course.”

The pair guided Pheonix to the backseat and laid him across the back. Sammy closed the door and sighed. Hudson gave him a sympathetic smile. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“Of course, my pleasure. I would tell you ways to help him sober up, but I'm guessing this isn't your first rodeo,” He chuckled slightly.

Sammy huffed, “No, can't say it is. But seriously, thank you. Listen, this is all I got but please take it,” Sammy handed a fifty dollar bill to Hudson. “No, hey, that's not necessary at all!”

“No, no, please take it.”

Hudson sighed and took it, “Thank you.”

“Can I give you a lift back home at all?” Hudson smiled, “Oh that's so kind, my car is actually only five minutes away but thank you.”

“Of course -no of course.”

“Well, you better get that laddo home, hm?” “Yes, yes. Thank you.”

Sammy got back into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine. They looked in the mirror and saw Pheonix asleep. They smiled and closed his eyes for a moment. No, no, get home and then sleep. They widened his eyes and put their hands back on the steering wheel.

The drive home was fine. Sammy didn't play the radio to ensure Pheonix could rest. They kept at the right speed too, they couldn't get pulled over again. They yawned and blinked hard for a few moments.

Once the car pulled into the driveway, Sammy helped Pheonix into their house. Pheonix groaned but Sammy ignored him, “Hey, none of that now. Cmon, let's get you to your room.”

They tucked Pheonix into the guest room’s bed and left a basin on the ground just incase. “Rest up,” they whispered. “G’niiiiiiiiiight,” Pheonix chuckled.

---

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