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bvidzsoo · 1 month

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Love Me Like A Rockstar (Epilogue)

ー☆ Epilogue

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: suggestive language, cursing, smut ー☆ Word count: 8.7k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: mature ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: I chose no song for this chapter, so everyone is free to listen to whatever or not listen to anything at all, however, while doing the moodboard I was listening to Power and I actually started sobbing, so uh, you can give it a listen if you wish to! I won't yap here, so see you at the end of the chapter! <3 I hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know what y'all thought of the last chapter of my beloved series. divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss

@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

3 months later

Spring was finally approaching, the weather having turned less harsh and warmer in the span of a few weeks, slowly painting nature in its vibrant and gorgeous colors that I would never get enough of. And we were lucky the air was warmer now outside, because in the confines of the limited space of my little studio of my Arts Club at university—which is more of a storage room to be fair—the smell of fresh dye and incense mingled together almost in a nauseating way, leaving me no option but to crack open the small window of the studio. Well, since it was so high up, I had to ask Mingi to open it as I didn’t want to get on a chair as I would have had to walk to the front of the room, and I was too lazy to do that. Music played quietly in the corner from Mingi’s portable speaker as he hummed along the melody of the song, typing away on his phone as his shoulders were slouched over, head lowered.

My eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as I bit my tongue, making sure the dye spread out evenly at the back of Mingi’s head, not wanting to leave spots of his previously platinum blonde hair. Around a week ago, he and Seonghwa hung out under the pretense of watching movies and having a boys' night in which they would drink beer and maybe compose some music, however, the next day when Mingi came over to have lunch with my mother and me, his hair was short. The long strands that curled prettily against his nape and ears were gone, replaced by short spikey hair that stuck up against his head, giving him a punkish look. My mother had squealed when she saw him, touched his hair, and then cradled his cheeks, gushing about how handsome he was, making me glare at the two as they forgot about my existence. Instead, I went and set the table and left them to their usual gossiping, shaking my head when my mother told him all about the new hot doctor at work she had her eyes on.

At times, those two would get lost in their own world and forget about my existence, amusing me, but also prompting me to give them a side-eye. Don’t get me wrong, I was beyond the moon that my boyfriend and mother got along really well, but at times it almost felt like I didn’t even exist—and before you would be like Mingi and say that I am dramatic, the fact that my mother seemed to love Yunho just as much as Mingi, definitely sent me into an existential crisis after the first time she confessed she loved the two as if they were her own sons. And about Yunho, well, yes, we’ve worked out our differences—which involved a lot of explaining, invoking buried memories, and a lot of apologies from Yunho’s side—so now we were all a big happy family—family as in not to be misunderstood, we all loved each other and had a nice bond. To be honest, I felt no mal-intent towards Yunho when after a month of dating Mingi we finally decided to sit down and discuss everything with his best friend, and I even found myself now confiding in him and asking him for advice in areas Seulgi—and Wooyoung—couldn’t help, because, after all, Yunho knew Mingi best. And Yunho’s girlfriend was an absolute angel and sweetheart, I took a liking to her quite quickly and found her love for literature rather adorable as she’d often quote her favorite characters from her favorite books.

Mingi snickered as I playfully pushed his head forward as I was done dyeing his platinum hair to a regular, darker, blonde with pink hues in it. I tried to look over his shoulder to see what he found so amusing but he cradled his phone to his chest and made me roll my eyes as I walked to the sink to wash the small bowl and the brush I used to dye his hair. Mingi changed the music to something more upbeat and a lot noisier than the music he, Wooyoung, and Seonghwa made, and I came to realize the speaker was playing Limp Bizkit. I couldn’t say that I enjoyed their music too much, I preferred something more indie, but I still appreciated some of their songs. I turned on the faucet and started washing the brush first as Mingi approached me and leaned against the counter, lips pursed as he tried to hide his cheeky smile. I threw him a questioning look as I rinsed the bowl out, applying a little soap in it to wash out the dye completely as Mingi finally spoke up, “Check this out, ‘Your face is a work of art, my legs should frame it.’”

My eyebrows furrowed as I gave Mingi a confused look, quickly making him pout, “Oh, come on! It’s ‘art rizz’!”

I snorted as I placed the bowl and brush aside to dry, peeling the gloves off my hands carefully to not stain my clothes or skin, “You’ve had better ones Mings, besides, shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”

“I mean,” Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed as he pocketed his phone in his light pink jeans, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He wore a white loose sleeveless tank top today, his biceps bulged from the action and I tried not to let my eyes linger on the well-defined muscles, “I definitely like the idea you’re suggesting—”

“As if we haven’t done that already.” I interrupted with a pointed look and Mingi just rolled his eyes.

“That’s beside the point,” And then he was smirking, leaning into my space as I rinsed the soap off my hands, “wait, are you suggesting something right now?”

“I just dyed your hair, Mingi, no, I’m not suggesting anything.” I sighed, unimpressed, as I shut the faucet off and grabbed a small towel to dry my hands off in it. You see, Mingi is rather…vocal with his needs and quick in executing them, so, I cannot say we haven’t been… active, if you know what I mean.

“Pity.” Mingi pouted for a second before he moved on to the next subject, his brain sometimes moving too fast for me to be able to keep up with him, “You remember that well-dressed woman from our last gig at Outlaw?”

“I sure do, she looked rather out of place with her pencil skirt and blouse.” I hummed as I leaned my hip against the sink, facing Mingi. He grinned and then fished his phone out of his pocket again and unlocked it, clicking on something I couldn’t see. Then, he cleared his throat and raised it to a higher pitch that was definitely mocking the woman’s voice.

“Mr. Song, I am delighted to let you know that Horizon Records would love to work with Noir Zenith, and we’d like to set an appointment as soon as it fits you and your bandmates' schedule. – Hong J.” Mingi bit his bottom lip as my eyes widened, prompting me to hold onto his wrist in excitement.

“Wait,” I said, eyebrows lightly furrowing, “isn’t this that super famous and huge record everyone dreams of getting signed to?!”

And when Mingi’s smile grew into a hug grin, I felt joy and excitement fill my senses as I grabbed both of Mingi’s hands, jumping up and down as he giggled and followed along, the two of us jumping in small circles like little kids. I couldn’t believe my ears, this was even bigger than the last record they agreed to sign with for half a year—the one Hongjoong helped out with—and once their contract was over, they could sign a new one with Horizon Records.

“That’s fucking amazing, Mingi!” I exclaimed loudly as we finally stopped jumping around, my heart beating fast as Mingi nodded in excitement, his teeth visible as he couldn’t stop smiling.

“I know, Wooyoung started running laps while screaming and Seonghwa cried clinging to me for half an hour when I told them.” I chuckled at the image in my head, but quickly realized the message wasn’t fresh. Before I could go off on him for hiding something so important from me, Mingi beat me to it, a knowing glint in his eyes, “Mrs. Hong sent the text yesterday afternoon and I only didn’t tell you about it because I knew we’d meet today and I wanted to see your reaction, so, don’t be mad, please.”

And how could I be mad at him when his plump lips were jutting out and his eyebrows raised in a manner that made him look adorable and heartbreaking at the same time? I huffed and squeezed his hands before I released them, trying to play off the fact that he already knew me so well, “I wasn’t about to get mad, I’m very happy for you and the rest of the boys, my love.”

Mingi giggled and looked away, the high of his cheekbones slightly flushed, and I grinned because I could never get over the fact that calling him ‘love’ or ‘my love’ turned him into a giggling and blushing mess. It was adorable, cute, and somehow still sexy, and before I would let any stray thoughts enter my head and distract me from the plans we had, I cleared my throat, “We should eat that pizza we ordered, it’s probably already gone cold.”

Mingi hummed but didn’t speak up as I went to walk towards the white sheet we had laid on the floorboards to sit on, pizza, black nail polish, Mingi’s pink beanie, and my sketchbook scattered all over it. However, before I could take another step, my feet suddenly weren’t touching the ground anymore as I was lifted by the waist, a squeal leaving my lips as I clutched onto Mingi’s bare arms, “Mingi! Put me down!”

“No.” He giggled against my neck and I felt his warm lips press a small kiss against my nape as my hair was in a bun, then he was running towards the sheet as we both laughed, the song playing through the speaker drowned out by our loudness. He finally placed me back down on my feet when we reached the white sheet and I sat down in a crisscross position, opening the box of pizza as Mingi took his seat across me. I grinned as I grabbed a slice, my stomach growling in hunger once again, and then I took a bite of the cheesy pepperoni pizza, making Mingi chuckle as he looked less hungry and less eager to devour our lunch for today. I extended my hand for his phone and he gave it to me without a word, I typed in his password before I looked through his playlist, taking bites of my pizza in the meantime. I found a slower beat that I liked and switched the currently playing song to that and then handed his phone back after I locked it, smiling as Mingi was flipping through my newest sketchbook which had mostly drawings of him.

I didn’t expect him to flip to that particular page and I almost choked as the pizza went down a little array, making Mingi smirk as he pulled the drawing closer to himself, dark eyes inspecting his sleeping form in the drawing. Well, the drawing looked completely innocent unless you knew what happened before it, and I couldn’t help but blush harder when Mingi bit his lower lip, pizza in his hand forgotten as he traced the blanket that hung low on his naked hips, torso on display and face serene as he had been in a deep slumber. When he looked up, he didn’t look much too smug, but there was a glint in his eyes that I had become accustomed to too well. He was in awe, but he was turned on, and I couldn’t help but stuff my face more with pizza, satiating my hunger as a means of distraction from the fact that I drew Mingi post-sex not even four days ago.

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a talented songwriter and composer but a good hell of a painter.” His voice was deeper as he mumbled, taking a bite of his pizza as he glanced back down at the drawing, “I want to draw you too, to capture you in all forms and commemorate you for an eternity.”

Well, what a way to make me blush harder. I grabbed another slice as I had finished the first one as a means to stall for a second, ponder over my answer, “You’re good with your words though, unlike me. I always struggle to express myself concisely, yet to you it’s easy. You create beautiful lyrics and you never fail to capture my true nature in your songs, so I think I’ll always live on in your music, Mingi, you have already commemorated me for an eternity.”

That made Mingi blink in surprise as he hadn’t even realized that before, and I smiled as he gave me a lasting look before he flipped the page, the drawing of him playing with a kitten I had found outside my porch. Now, she was our kitten and she, obviously, loved Mingi more than me—just like my mother, I didn’t try to complain about this too, “You inspire me like none other.”

“You inspire me too, Mings.” Mingi’s smile was shy as he continued flipping through the sketchbook, less filled than my other ones as I decided to dedicate this one only to him. He’d seen the older sketches plenty of times before, yet he never failed to become shy when looking through them.

I finished my slice of pizza, dusted my hands off and made sure my cheeks weren’t greasy as I leaned towards the black nail polish, shaking it in front of Mingi with a grin, “Ready to get your nails painted?”

He nodded excitedly and handed me his left hand as he still held his slice of pizza in the right one. His thick fingers were smooth and decorated with rings, much like mine, and I flipped my left hand around to place his palm in mine. After having arrived at my humble studio once we were finished with our classes for the day, Mingi got to work and painted my nails. He had bought some new nail polish a week ago and convinced me to surprise me with them, so, the nails on my left hand were now almost neon green and the nails on my right hand almost Barbie pink. Sometime along, painting each other’s nails became a habit, something we both enjoyed doing and now we could confidently call it our thing.

I concentrated hard to not smudge the skin around his nails, eyebrows furrowed and teeth clamping down on my bottom lip as Mingi’s eyes were either on me or his nails, bobbing his head along to the rhythm of the song playing. He usually chewed loudly and I was thankful he kept his mouth closed this time, knowing that it would only irritate me if he started chewing on his slice of pizza aggressively—it wouldn’t be the first time he does it just to annoy me. As I finished doing his middle finger, his phone rang and Mingi reached over to his left side as he bit on the crust of his pizza, picking his phone off the floor as the music cut off. He accepted the phone call and put it on speaker as I chuckled and watched him take out the crust from his mouth so that he could talk.

“Hey! Song Mingi!” It was unmistakably Wooyoung’s voice as he screamed into the phone, making me concerned that Mingi would lose his hearing if he had just normally picked up the phone without putting it on speaker, “What’s up, bro?!”

Mingi snickered, shaking his head as I finished painting the nails on his left hand, “I told you yesterday that I would hang out with Y/N after classes.”

“Ah, right,” Wooyoung hummed as I leaned down to press a kiss against Mingi’s hand, making him grin as he finished his slice, eagerly handing over his right hand to paint his nails, “And where are you two lovebirds?”

“In her studio,” Mingi answered as I got to work, careful as always as I painted his pinkie’s nail.

“Now that you mention, Seulgi said something about not being able to work on her assignment in the studio because of you two.”

I scoffed and before Mingi could answer, I spoke up as I leaned towards the phone, “I told Seulgi to do her assignment not two days before the deadline, and I also told her a week ago that I’d be hounding the studio with Mingi today.”

“Heard that babe?!” Wooyoung’s voice was distant just for a second, then he snickered, “She says you’re lucky she loves you, otherwise she would’ve kicked you out of your studio.”

“My own studio.” I huffed and applied another coat over Mingi’s forefinger’s nail to even out the texture, “What a bitch.”

“A bitch that is forced to listen to her best friend’s constant bitching, who’s the bitch now, Y/N?” Everyone snickered and I rolled my eyes as there was the unmistakable sound of a kiss pressed against a cheek through the phone, Mingi and I shared a look of mild disgust as I went to paint his thumb’s nail.

“Don’t start making out while you’re on the phone with me, Wooyoung.” Mingi’s voice carried disgust but there was a hint of amusement, “Anyways, what’s the purpose of your call? You never call unless you need something or I ask you to remind me of something.”

“It’s neither this time,” Seulgi chuckled through the phone, and then there was shuffling and I knew she walked away. I finished Mingi’s nails and closed the bottle of nail polish, sitting up on my knees to kiss Mingi’s cheek as he bit his lower lip, grinning at me as he wriggled his fingers happily.

“Do not be late to Aurora’s opening tonight and wear something extra fancy, Hongjoong will have our heads if we don’t honor his fiancé for God’s sake.” Wooyoung sounded mildly annoyed but it was no secret that he loved Hongjoong probably almost as much as he loved all of his friends, however, he’d never admit that to anyone. Aurora became the name of Seonghwa’s studio and small gallery, and tonight was the grand opening. Everyone was excited about it, with Seonghwa being a nerve wreck as he feared people wouldn’t show up. After having talked to both him and Hongjoong, they agreed to display a few of my paintings in the front lobby and I was giddy and curious about everyone’s reaction to them. Nobody knew what I had handed over to Seonghwa, and he had beamed when his eyes took in the paintings, he getting emotional instead of me and making me chuckle as I hugged him tightly and thanked him for the opportunity.

“You should worry about yourself, Woo,” Mingi teased with a chuckle, “Y/N and I will look impeccable, as always.”

“That is for sure,” I muttered as I sat back on my ankles, watching Mingi with a grin as we had decided to match our outfits for the night.

“Talk to you later, we’ve got some business to attend to with Y/N now.” And then Wooyoung said his goodbye and they hung up as Mingi pointed towards the pizza with a pout, “I’m still hungry, will you feed me?”

And even if I said no and rolled my eyes, five minutes later Mingi had a teasing glint in his eyes as I fed him his third slice of pizza, smart enough to remain silent or else I wouldn’t have continued feeding him or helping him drink water while his nails dried.

Barely an hour later, when Mingi’s hunger and thirst were satiated and his nails were dry, we replaced the white sheet with a huge flat canvas that we would paint over. We had agreed on painting a scenery, something similar to the creek we so much liked to visit when the weather allowed it, but sometime along my attempts at making it look like the actual creek, Mingi’s not so painter skills came into the mix and created a—whatever that did not look like the creek. He refused to admit that what was supposed to be the water now looked like the sky, making the whole painting look like it was upside down from our standpoint, and he also kept on vehemently denying that he tried to paint a dick over the trunk of the tree I spent at least fifteen minutes on to make it look as realistic as possible. All in all, I concluded that without Mingi here I would’ve been able to finish the painting in a maximum of three hours, however, now there was no future for finding a vision in whatever we have created.

But I didn’t mind, because this was Mingi’s and my work, something we created together while laughing and talking about whatever came to our minds, the atmosphere light and joyful. I had also washed out the dye from his hair and we towel-dried it, making it look spikier than usual. I couldn’t lie, this new hair made Mingi look incredibly hot, and it took me some willpower to not jump him as he looked at me with those sharp eyes and a knowing smirk, the asshole.

“But you’ll dye it back to black soon, right?” I asked while painting clouds over the once creek turned sky now. Mingi was behind me, crouched down, and his clothes still somehow miraculously not stained. I wore my old overall knowing that I’d stain myself the second I opened a can of paint, and I wasn’t wrong at all as the edges of my pants were already stained green and white.

“I mean, do you hate this color?” Mingi asked from behind me as he dipped his brush into black, terrifying me of whatever he had in mind to do with the color once I saw him.

“What the hell do you need black for?!” I exclaimed as I grabbed his wrist, making his eyebrows shoot up in amusement.

“Aren’t artists supposed to just go with the flow?” His lips jutted out as he playfully leaned closer, my eyebrows furrowing as I was ready to oppose his idea, “You’re making me question your working etiquette, doll, I don’t find you creative enough—”

“As if!” I exclaimed only mildly offended as I knew Mingi was only teasing me, “Going with the flow and trusting your instincts is one thing, love, but having no vision or idea in mind is plain terrifying.”

“I was going to sign the top of it, but never mind—”

“Fine,” I groaned, gripping his wrist to stop Mingi from twisting away. His voice was whiney and he was pouting, not even looking at me as if he was offended. I knew he wasn’t; he was just acting up to get what he wanted. And unfortunately, it was working embarrassingly well on me, “Sign it.”

“Great!” He beamed as he leaned forward, mindful of staining his pink jeans with paint and I sighed as I shook my head, making curved lines before I colored them to make them look more like clouds. I had no idea what would become of the painting, but I certainly was eager to find out.

“Back to your hair,” I spoke up as Mingi carefully drew his ‘fix on’ signature onto the canvas, “I don’t hate the blonde but I miss your natural color, it suits you more, makes you look cuter and softer.”

“Aw,” Mingi turned back to give me puppy eyes—which he learned from Yunho, no doubt, “you like your boyfriend to be all soft and cute? I thought you like it when I get all wild and destroy—”

“Do not finish that sentence, Song Mingi.” I threatened as I sat back, brush pointed threateningly towards Mingi.

“Or what?” His crooked teeth showed as he grinned, quirking an eyebrow to annoy me further. I huffed and tried to think of a good comeback, but came up empty-handed for once so I gave him a pointed glare.

“I’ll stain you with paint.”

“Bet.”

And I know Mingi didn’t expect me to actually follow through with my childish threat, but as I jerked my wrist in his direction, the remaining paint from my brush flew off and, well, stained his white sleeveless tank top. Mingi’s mouth fell open as he gaped down at himself, and I laughed, giving him a smug look.

“What, did you think I was fucking around?”

“Oh, I’ll make you wish you never did that!”

And before I could prepare myself for whatever attack he had planned, he pressed his hand against his brush and coated it in black paint then sprung towards me, making me gasp as his thick fingers drew a cold line against my cheekbone. Mingi grinned as I stared at him in surprise, but I reacted soon quickly as I pressed my fingers into the fresh paint on the canvas and returned the favor, the only difference being that I drew a circle on his forehead with white paint. Mingi blinked once, then twice, and a mischievous grin spread onto his lips which told me that I was in trouble.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, but Mingi was fast as he dug his whole hand in green paint and slapped my ass painfully hard, making me cry out as it stung even through the fabric, making me give him a deadly glare, “Song Mingi! That fucking hurt!”

“You’re a pussy.” He stuck his tongue out and I tsked, leaning down to push my whole hand inside the red paint. Mingi’s eyes widened as I gave him a victorious smirk, eyes narrowing as he jumped up to his feet, holding his arms up in defeat.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start a war—” But his futile attempts at saving his ass fell on deaf ears as I cackled and took off towards him, making him yelp as he tried to duck and run away, making us run around the canvas. We were both barefoot and as Mingi tried to jump over the canvas, he miscalculated where his long legs would land and landed on his freshly painted signature, making him yelp again as it was no doubt cold against his feet. I laughed as I easily caught up with him and felt up his chest, biting my lower lip as Mingi’s eyes widened.

“Oh, no, your white shirt is all stained now.” I fake pouted as Mingi froze, incredulous eyes looking between me and his shirt. I chuckled and clapped my hands together, deciding that my job was done here, but then Mingi was stepping back and leaving foot marks all over the canvas on purpose. I scoffed but didn’t care much, the poor painting had been long ruined. I crossed my arms in front of my chest in defiance as he dipped both of his hands in pink paint and then gave me a grin as he beckoned me over with a finger. I huffed in disbelief as if I’d hand myself over willingly to him. And he knew that because I dipped both of my hands in light blue paint and faced him again. Our stare-off was intense and calculating as we both tried to guess the other’s next step, and thinking I’d have the upper hand, I stepped in the middle of the canvas just as Mingi moved too and I raised my hands to dirty his tank top even more when he cupped my cheeks and made me squeal.

The paint felt cold against my skin and I knew it would dry it out once it started drying itself, but I was far too amused to worry about something so insignificant right now. Wanting revenge, I grasped his hair and massaged my hands well into the freshly dyed darker blonde strands, making his hair look like cotton candy due to the pink hue mixing with the light blue of the paint.

“My hair! Y/N!” Mingi whined loudly slapping my hands away, but I wasn’t finished as I dirtied his jaw, neck, and tank top too. Mingi was pouting hard and glaring at me at the same time, already sharp eyes turning sharper and full of revenge as he flushed his body against mine and cupped my ass over the fabric, gripping tightly and kneading the flesh.

“Mingi!” I exclaimed, content with being so close to him, but also annoyed that he kept going for my ass, “Leave my ass alone, you idiot!”

“You ruined my hair!”

“I told you to dye it black and not a different shade of blonde.”

“I thought you were a firm believer in people doing whatever they want.”

“I am, but you’re my boyfriend and I find you hotter with black hair.”

“Well, you’re my girlfriend and I find you hotter with my dick down your throat.”

We both paused as my eyes widened and Mingi caught himself a second later, cheeks flushing as he looked sheepish, finally releasing my ass as his hands settled around my hips instead, “Oopsie, that went too far but it’s the truth—”

He cried out as I whacked him over the head, giving him a fierce look, “Yeah? I also find you hotter gagged around my fingers—”

“We only did that once!”

“Are you afraid it makes you less masculine?”

“I agreed to let you peg me, bro.”

“I know, bro, and you fucking enjoyed it.”

“So, what’s the issue here?”

“That you keep slapping and kneading my ass, leave it alone.”

“Okay, princess, my bad.”

“You’re the princess, Mingi, not me. You’re always whining.”

“And you’re always beating me up, Y/N.”

“Am not!”

“Yeah, you are!”

I scowled at Mingi and pushed him back by the chest, by no means aggressively or harshly, but his dramatic ass pretended to stumble and then he fell back, splaying out across the canvas. I huffed and pinched the bridge off my nose as he made fake crying noises, blinking up at me slowly, “See? I’m huwt.”

I closed my eyes to compose myself and control the need to kick him in the balls for being cringy, “Don’t talk like that, oh, my God.”

“Do you hate it?” He grinned evilly as I walked off the canvas, and to look at me, he turned onto his stomach as he cupped his chin and raised his legs to swing them in the air. He looked like a mess with the paint all over his hair, face, and body, some having gotten onto his pants too now that he was laying on the canvas. I chuckled and shook my head as I eyed my boyfriend, knowing that I looked probably just as messy as him.

“I do, actually, you’re only cute when you’re not trying to be cute.” I deadpanned and Mingi huffed dramatically, letting his arms fall as he pressed his forehead against them. Eyes falling on his round ass, I knew it was my time for payback, and I moved swiftly before he could realize what I was aiming for—it wouldn’t be the first time—so I quickly kneeled next to him and leaned down, baring my teeth as I opened my mouth wide. At first, Mingi jumped when my teeth made contact with his jeans and then when I bit down hard, he yelped, soon turning into loud cries as I continued to bite his left ass cheek harder and harder. He started flailing around and I pulled back with a cackle after I made sure my teeth had sunken in deep enough. But, I had no time to react as he quickly turned around and leaped onto me, landing on top of me as I fell back onto the canvas, no doubt smudging even more whatever paint hadn’t dried yet.

Mingi got on top of me, sitting on my hips as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, pinning me to the floor. I smirked as I raised my eyebrows tauntingly at him, watching his eyes slowly rake over my body to take me in.

“That hurt.”

“Fair enough, it hurt too when you slapped my ass.”

“Well, you have no right to whine so much about it anymore.”

“I do if you keep slapping it, and I also have the right to bite your ass as revenge.”

Mingi’s eyes narrowed and I giggled as he slowly leaned down, placing his hands on both sides of my head to prop himself up, effectively caging me between himself and the floor. I continued looking at him challengingly as he bit his bottom lip, eyes never settling as they searched my face for even a fraction that showed that I would back down. But I wouldn’t, and he knew that by now as he suddenly smirked too, leaning so close our lips brushed against each other.

“I think I won, doll.”

“I didn’t know we were in a contest, love.”

And then he sealed his lips against mine, shutting up the both of us in the most effective way as our lips moved slowly, savoring each other’s taste and lips. Mingi shifted above me and I eagerly opened my legs to let him settle between them as I hugged his torso, hands raking up and down his back slowly as his hips pressed firmly against mine. I smirked against Mingi’s lips when his breath hitched in the back of his throat due to my fingers tangling into his short strands now a little crusty from the red paint in it, it was no secret that Mingi liked it when I pulled on his hair. He cupped my chin with one hand as he pressed his weight on his left arm, the only cue I needed to open up my mouth to grant him access. We both sighed in contentment as his tongue slowly glided against mine, my legs coming up around his hips to lock Mingi’s body against mine.

Mingi moaned when I tangled my fingers just a little harder into his hair, letting him lap at my tongue as he explored my mouth, my body growing hotter as the seconds passed by, hands slipping under his loose tank top to feel up his warm skin. The skin of his back was smooth and I pressed my nails into it as I slowly racked it up his back, feeling Mingi shiver against my body as he jerked his hips forward, making me hum against his mouth as he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and clamped down on it, sucking hard. I groaned and dug my nails into his shoulders, pulling my head back to be able to lean up and press kisses against his lean neck, his cologne mixing with the paint that was smeared all over us. My lips were hot as I parted them to press wet kisses against his flesh, sucking in the areas I knew Mingi was sensitive to, making him groan and jerk his hips forward again. With a hand slipping down to his hips, I gripped him firmly and prompted him to grind against me, Mingi’s head buried in my hair as I continued to press kisses until I reached his collarbones, gripping the hem of his tank top. He wasted no second as he pulled back just slightly, slipping the fabric off his torso, leaving it bare for me as I grinned at him, feeling his chest and abs up as he worked at the clips of my overall.

I kissed the skin between his pectorals and then pressed up on my elbows as Mingi made quick work of slipping the overall down to my waist and ultimately out of them as goosebumps covered the bare skin of my legs. We threw the overalls off to the side and Mingi was then moving back, down between my legs as he hovered above my thighs, eyes boring into mine as he pressed a feather-like kiss against my left thigh. I gulped and fisted my palms as heat pooled in my lower stomach, his lips always featherlight as he advanced higher up on my thighs with nips and kisses, sometimes licking at the skin teasingly. I knew my cheeks were flushed as I felt hotter by the minute and I shuddered when his lips pressed against my core through the fabric of my panties, making the breath hitch in the back of my throat. Mingi smirked and did it once again before he licked a slow strip upward, closing his eyes to hum, and I let my fingers tangle in his hair as he tapped my inner thigh, moving away from where I wanted him most.

He sat back to undo the buttons and zipper of his jeans, and I watched in anticipation as he slipped the fabric off his thick thighs and ass slowly, in a teasing manner, bottom lip between his teeth as he was half hard already, eyes hooded once he was done with his half-assed striptease. I chuckled and he was all over me again, hips flushed against mine again as I wrapped my legs around his hips, eager to feel his heavy body press me down into the floor. Mingi’s fingers gingerly traveled from my waist up to the hem of my blouse and then he brought it over my head and arms, landing in the pile of clothes to the side. And then his lips were over mine again, licking into my mouth and biting my lip messily as he slowly ground his hips against mine, making me hold onto him as it was easy to feel him in just our underwear. One of my hands went to tease at the elastic of his boxers and, despite him talking shit about it, I knew he liked it when I kneaded his ass, the skin sensitive for him there.

Mingi moaned and ground just a little harder against me, making me burn for him more as he cupped one of my boobs through the bra, pinching the bud as our tongues moved messily without much purpose or goal, too focused on how our bodies felt with the ministrations done to it. As he pressed himself up on his elbow, the hand that grabbed my boob traveled lower on my body until it was inside my panties and rubbing circles against my clit, making me moan out his name loudly, his length grinding up against my thigh as he bit my collarbone, making me screw my eyes shut as I was throbbing for him. But he was a little shit and he only teased, rubbing but never quite letting his fingers slip inside as he chuckled against my ear, making me grit my teeth at him as I gripped his wrist to keep him pressing against my clit as my hips kicked off the floor.

“You’re wet, doll.”

“And you’re not doing enough, love.”

Mingi chuckled again and I moaned as he teasingly slipped just the tip of his finger inside, his rings cold against my burning skin, my nails digging into the flesh of his ass. Mingi groaned and pulled back, making me groan in frustration as I glared at him, but he quickly silenced me with his lips as I felt him pull down my panties, I shimmied my hips to help him get over with it faster. He grinned and nipped at my bottom lip as I pushed his boxers off too, grabbing his dick to teasingly rub at his slit, making him hiss against my lips as our eyes fluttered open.

“What? Only you can tease?” Mingi’s eyes were dark and narrowed as he bucked against my hand, my pace awfully slow in jerking him off, “I could tell you to get off me and I would go on with my merry day—”

“Sure,” Mingi grinned, lips ghosting against my ear as his voice had dropped lower than usual, grabbing my wrist to stop my movements, “but you love my dick too much to pass up on it.”

I scoffed but said nothing, perhaps a little too desperate to have it inside me finally. I hated it when he teased me too much, and because Mingi knew this, he never passed up on the opportunity to get on my nerves even when we were having sex. He enjoyed it perhaps a little bit too much. But the teasing was finally over as he had gotten enough of it, eager to push in as he lined himself up with my entrance, pressing a kiss against my lips.

“I don’t have a condom.” He whispered, eyes searching mine.

“Just pull out, I’m fine.” I circled his shoulders, embracing myself as my core throbbed, eager to have his size expand my walls. Mingi hummed and then pressed another kiss against my lips as he slowly pushed inside, having to take it slow as he didn’t stretch me out with his fingers first, the burn insistent despite our active sex life. I still haven’t gotten used to it, but I didn’t mind as it only made me wetter for him, more eager to take him. Mingi’s bottom lip was between his teeth as he kept his breath labored, concentrating on not hurting me and taking it slow until I said so. I let my fingers run through his hair as I sighed, trying to relax my muscles and just melt into his arms, pressing a kiss against his cheek when he paused abruptly, shuddering.

“You’re so tight,” His voice was barely above a whisper and strained, “I’m about to burst.”

“So soon?” I asked with a chuckle, teasing as it earned me a sharp glare, “And whose fault it is I’m so tight? Your fingers are there for a reason.”

“Shut up.” Mingi groaned and then pressed in fully, a gasp leaving my throat at the sudden move, eyebrows scrunching up as he pressed in deep, making me feel fuller than before. My walls clamped down against his dick and Mingi pressed his forehead against mine as I embraced him, letting my fingers tangle in the short hair against his nape. I nodded, eyes boring into each other, and then Mingi was moving, slowly at first, pulling out only halfway before he was pressing back in, sighs leaving my lips as the pleasure was slowly building up, my hips moving in an attempt to meet his thrusts.

He secured his knees better against the canvas and pressed up on his elbows, hovering over me as his cross necklace dangled in my face, and the image was way too good and hot, knocking a moan out of me as he started thrusting faster, hips slamming back against mine as our pace got faster and more urgent, our breathy moans falling against each other’s lips as I nipped on Mingi’s bottom lip. I hooked a finger against the silver chain as his nose scrunched up, hips slamming back against mine with more purpose, more power, and eagerness as he looked down between our bodies, a grunt leaving his lips as he enjoyed the view. I hooked my legs tighter around his hips and prompted him to move faster, most of my moans were swallowed as we had to remember that we were at university still, in my own studio, so we couldn’t be too vocal. The walls here weren’t soundproof like in Mingi’s studio, yet staying quiet proved to become harder and harder as Mingi started pistoning his hips, grunts turned into low moans as he slammed his lips against mine, our breaths getting swallowed as our teeth knocked together, saliva gathering in the corner of our mouths as I pressed my hands against the small of his back, my own arching off the floor for an even better angle, keening his name when he finally reached the spot that had me seeing stars.

But Mingi was a diligent man who took his time in everything he did, even sex, and if he could prolong our orgasms, then he certainly would, so I had no doubt we’d be at it for a while, subsequently making us late to Aurora’s opening. And we couldn’t have that happening, but our brains were too fogged up and busy with something else to notice Wooyoung’s insistent texts on Mingi’s phone or my mother’s call to remind me I had to be home in fifteen minutes to start getting ready. Oh, well.

Turns out, we got there just in time and nobody screamed our ears off—I’m looking at you Wooyoung—and Seonghwa was certainly overwhelmed when he saw the number of people that showed up for the opening. It was a mix of all age groups and people who knew Seonghwa and Hongjoong from different places, like Hongjoong’s employees or Seonghwa’s colleagues from his major, and there were even more fans of Zenith Noir that showed up, surprising all three of the guys. Seulgi and I stood to the side with grins on our faces as their fans swarmed them and gushed about the beautiful designs Seonghwa had displayed, some put behind glass to protect the expensive material Hongjoong’s team had worked on, and some even put out to be tried on and bought if someone desired to do so.

Seonghwa’s speech had been an emotional one in which he thanked everyone for their support and Hongjoong for believing in him and offering him opportunities he thought were real only in a far-fetched dream, and then I got teary-eyed when Seonghwa’s family surprised him with cake and hugs and praises, making me extremely happy for being able to chase his dreams. The matching rings Hongjoong and he had on their ring finger were eye-catching to those who didn’t know about their engagement, and it was Hongjoong who proudly announced it to the whole room while Seonghwa flushed and tried not to hide behind Hongjoong despite being taller than his fiancé. It was a sight to behold and I wasn’t surprised to feel Mingi cuddle up into my side and sniff loudly as he watched his friends with a proud smile on his lips, Wooyoung amusingly quiet for once.

When everyone was done appreciating Seonghwa’s efforts and creations, he announced with a cheeky smile that the next time anyone visited, the front lobby would be decorated by other artists’ works, but because I had a special request, tonight my works were displayed in the room adjacent to this. I felt my heart in my throat as Seonghwa led us towards the dark room, then our eyes met and I nodded with a small smile, biting my bottom lip as the light switch was flipped on, coating the room in light. I turned to look at Mingi in anticipation as his eyes widened, and he broke free of the crowd, hurrying inside to take in the entirety of the room, from being incredulous to teary-eyed and then looking like the happiest man on Earth, I couldn’t help it but let my heart swell in happiness and pride as I watched him chuckle and look at me with eyes filled with pure and honest love.

The soft sage green walls were decorated with two portraits of Mingi I had sketched out right at the beginning when I had met him, when I wasn’t so familiar with all of his features yet. Then it progressed to the moments I had captivated as our relationship slowly progressed into that of friendship, us sitting in his car, Mingi driving, Mingi laughing at making me flustered, Mingi’s sharp eyes watching me in a faceless crowd, Mingi up on stage shining like the star he is, Mingi gazing at me with yearning in his eyes, Mingi hugging me warmly into his chest, Mingi chewing on his bottom lip in concentration as he sat in his chair in his studio, working on his music, Mingi looking upset because I rudely disregarded everything that’s happened between us, Mingi angry because I was too stubborn to admit my feelings for him, too afraid to move on from Yunho, and at last, Mingi smiling so widely his eyes disappeared, nose scrunched up and his front teeth showing a little more than usual, pure happiness painting his face.

There was a low murmur amongst the crowd as everyone took in the sketches, drawings, and paintings, but I was only focused on Mingi and his reaction to seeing the stages of our relationship displayed through my eyes, my feelings, and my thoughts. And then, more towards the end of the exposition, there was an old sketch of Yunho I had done while still mulling over the failure of our relationship, and right next to it was a painting of both Yunho and Mingi as they sat next to each other, laughing about whatever was funny at that moment. I had captured the moment when Mingi, me, Yunho, and his girlfriend had gone out for dinner, and then I decided I wanted to paint it twice and gift it to Mingi and Yunho for Christmas. I suppose Mingi would get his sooner than Yunho, I’m sure neither would mind.

Seonghwa announced that I was the artist behind the creations and the room erupted in cheers and claps as people complimented me on my talent, but my eyes were on Mingi only as his blazer was glittery underneath the white light, matching my floor-length glittery black dress. He opened his arms and I didn’t waste any more seconds to approach him and let him crush me in his arms, his embrace warm and reassuring as he pressed his face into my hair, exhaling loudly as I embraced him back just as tightly, closing my eyes as my heart was racing. These past three months I spent next to him had been the best time of my life ever, he made me happier and feel safer than anyone else ever. He helped me get better at controlling my explosive emotions and he helped me slowly break down the walls I so defensively built up after Yunho’s departure. He made me unafraid to love and to receive love, he made me want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I wanted a forever with him.

“I love you, Mingi.” And it was the first time I voiced those thoughts, voice clear but quiet so that only he’d hear it. I felt Mingi freeze, a gasp leaving his mouth as he pulled back, holding me at arm's length as I smiled at him softly, “I love you.”

Mingi gulped as his eyes suddenly turned teary, and he cupped my cheeks as he lowered his head to press his forehead against mine, inhaling deeply as he nodded his head. He’d said those three words to me before, unafraid and unashamed to let me know how he truly felt towards me, and I finally found the courage to say it back. I finally was ready to let him know just how much I felt for him, that I loved him just as much as he loved me.

“I love you, Y/N, so much.” His voice trembled and he kept his eyes closed out of fear of having the tears escape them, and I hummed, resting my hands on his shoulders as I gently rubbed the skin of his neck in an attempt to soothe him.

“I love you just as much, Mingi.”

And he smiled, pressing his warm lips against mine with the unspoken promise that this would last forever, that this was what we both had been searching for. Safety, contentment, honesty, friendship, and freedom, a love that was honest and unafraid. It seemed like our future was rather promising, next to him, I could take on anything. We won’t forget to look at the moon tonight.

I love you, Song Mingi.

A/N: So, hello once again, I am so-so grateful if you made it 'til the end. I cannot believe I'm actually finished with this story and it's a really bittersweet feeling actually, because I am as happy as sad, no joke I kinda cried a little bit. I absolutely love the character and personality I have created for Mingi in this story and I love MC and his dynamic so much, that I find it so freaking hard to let go of them omg, what's happening to me?!

I just really really want to thank everyone who stuck around from start to finish, or from the middle of the story, or showed up as we neared the end of it, I am so so grateful to you all for being patient with me and showering me with love and making me look forward to posting. I was always so excited about a new chapter because I wanted it to be the best, and when I felt like it wasn't, you reassured me that it was and it made me really happy.

I started this story nine months ago, back on the 15th of December, which is funnily enough my sister's birthday so now I will never forget the date I posted it lol, and I find it so freaking crazy that this whole story came from a random brainstorming with my best friend in my car (@orshii), right as we finished our classes at university, brains fried off and ready to end everything, and yet, here I am, trying not to cry again ffs because of how much I grew to love every character in the story.

A little insight: the story at first started out as a random plot that was somewhat similar to 10 Things I Hate About You (which is one of my favorite movies) as Mingi was inspired by Patrick's character and our MC by Kat's, but as time went on, the story and our characters became their own and thus this is how Love Me Like A Rockstar was created. Back at that time I was also obsessed with this song, which played a part in the story becoming a rockstar!au beside Mingi acting like a whole ass rockstar during Crazy Form era lol, and even the title is inspired by the censored version of the song.

I think I made this note already too long, so I'll try to wrap it up. I really want to thank absolutely everyone who reads the whole story, to my loyal readers who were here for every chapter and for all of your thoughts and theories and for making me smile, really. Those who stumbled upon this when it's already finished, I hope you enjoyed each chapter and had fun exploring the world I created (this applies to those too who stuck around while it was still on-going) and I always appreciate your feedback, it's never too late! Thank you everyone, and I hope to see you back for my other stories! <3

↳Perm. taglist: @orshii @jjoongstar @tinyelfperson @thestarskiller @zuuhaa

@aaa-sia @gong-fourz @a-tinycarat @sooberryworld @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad

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❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

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advertingpizza · 2 months

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HI!

i redid waves some after art fight!! also experimented with a newish style w/ black outlines and a simpler shading technique than what i was originally suffering through

i felt him being an alpha clone, while cool for the unaltered aging, didn't quite fit his personality. i also had a gripe with how overly complicated the kobe stripes on his armor turned out, so i opted for some more simple and artist-friendly designs on both his body armor and his helmet!

i upgraded his old armor from clone captain to full arc w/ double pauldrons and the added chest guard. the helmet is not the correct helmet, i was just lazy and didn't feel like drawing an entirely new one so i threw some new tamaskan-inspired (dog) markings on it. also put his hair in a lil bun because as someone with long curly hair, having it in a bun while i am working is a must. lastly, i got rid of the upper part of his 'stache because it made any facial expression he had look... cursed

he is still an arc trooper, CT-25-4775 (definitely not my old discord tag dsjufsejik). close ups and inspo below!

the comic-ish style im in love raaa

same helmet as before but with a uv visor inspired by a pair of sunglasses from gta LOL

NOT MY DOG, i just really fell in love with the face marks so i mixed them onto his helmet

pose! i realized i could use my rex rex collection to aid in my clone drawing endeavors. mini rex having a mid life crisis helped

this one is honestly self explanatory lol

thanks for reading! i'd like to get into the habit of sharing what inspires me to make my art just because! i love seeing other artists do it and nothing is stopping me from doing it too. hope you all have lovely days!

#my art #pizza ocs #waves #clone trooper #clone trooper oc #clone oc #star wars oc #sw oc #the clone wars #star wars clone #star wars clone troopers #arc trooper waves

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walkswithmyfather · 11 months

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“🙏❤️❤️ HOPE ❤️❤️🙏”

“My HOPE is in the LORD always

Psalm 42:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”

This is such a beautiful verse read it and pin it to your heart

Worldly Hope…. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

Biblical hope … Biblical hope has as its foundation faith in God.

The word hope in English definition often conveys doubt.

I hope it will not rain tomorrow

I hope my results test results will be good

I hope we can get together

I hope everything will be ok

BIBLICAL HOPE is a reality and not a feeling.

BIBLICAL HOPE carries no doubt.

BIBLICAL HOPE is a sure foundation upon which we base our lives, believing that God always keeps His promises.

Hope or confident assurance can be ours when we trust the words He who believes on Me has everlasting life

John 6:47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.

Accepting that gift of eternal life means our hope is no longer filled with doubt.

Hope is a small word, but it is one of the most powerful.

It is powerful because in hope lies the power of the human soul to turn to God and live as if His promises are going to come true.

Psalm 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

Some people when they speak of hope use it as an emotion. They say I am feeling hopeful but true hope is a discipline and a determination to believe in God’s reality and power even when the world seems to be crashing down around us.

The power of hope flies in the face of calamity, saying The world can do its worst to me but still I will hope. My hope is in the Lord. I will know that this is the day the Lord has made and He will take care of me.

The key to surviving any challenge or crisis is hope.

Hope that Jesus loves you.

Hope that He is, right now, working out a solution for you.

Hope that the future you place in His hands will be better than the present you hold in your own.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Today take a few moments and practice hope. Hope on the Lord . With its power you will overcome all things.

Isaiah 40:31. “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

During the course of our day there are so many reasons to feel discouraged

When we listen to the news on tv we hear the problems in the world

When we face challenges that seem overwhelming

When we have problems that don’t seem to have solutions.

There are certainly times when we can feel hopeless.

The Bible speaks to us about these times

1 Corinthians 13:13. “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

The verse above teaches us that all of us need hope.

The verse above teaches us that hope endures

No matter how dark or depressing our circumstances may appear, we always can hope in God.

God wants to give us hope in any situation, no matter how dark things might seem.

But we should not merely hope. God wants us to rejoice in hope!

Paul knew what it was like to have hope in the midst of hopeless situations. A perfect example

Acts 16:25.“And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.”

Acts 16:26. “And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.”

See when we look to the world it certainly can provide answers but they only give short term relief.

Know we will be hopeless if we look at circumstances and let the world dictate how we think.

We may go through situations that are threatening, that can cause

Uncertainty, Anxiety, Doubt, Fear

But if we depend on God we can know that He is the source of hope, and we can rejoice in Him and the hope He promises us.

If we have hope we can be filled with joy and peace no matter what is going on in the world.

Today take a moment see the beauty surrounding you and no matter what it is you are going through do not allow yourself to place your hope in the world, the world system, or any human being in the world

Rejoice in the hope that God has given you.

Place your hope in the living God and His eternal power to save and make everything right in His time, in His way.

God is so good . Always keep your hope in the Lord . He goes before you and is always with you. He will see you through everything you go through.”

From: “Beneath The Shadow Of Thy Wings” (FB)

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neitherabaron · 1 year

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You mentioned that you've finished writing Gobelins, and I'm wondering if you're gonna raise money to produce it, or do it out of your own pocket? Either way, I'm very excited to hear it, hope your op goes well!

Thanks for a great question! There's definitely gonna be an Indiegogo fundraiser at some point before I start production, but the scale of that is going to need to depend on what my life is looking like at that time. In other words, when I’m physically able to devote time to the album again, I’m going to have to assess my capacity before deciding the scope of the project.

Basically, there's an "ideal" way I'd like to make Carnaval des Gobelins, with a physical edition, cool merch for backers, guest musicians and liner art commissions. I think it's gonna be the most satisfying experience for listeners and the best move from a "growing my business" point of view - producing that kind of stuff gives me a chance to order excess merch and another little revenue stream, which would take me a little step closer to making this my main job. But, it's also a big project to manage and as much as I want to do it that way, I'm not gonna bet on being physically well enough to do that until things are clearer. I'm pretty dang ill.

Then there are other options - like limiting that stuff to a digital version for Bandcamp and streaming, plus physical CDs that are a bit more pared-down in terms of liner content. And on the other side of the spectrum, there's just producing a digital album, like I did for The Wassailant, which while still a big project would be logistically simpler and would require the least amount of funding.

I'm going to run a fundraiser no matter what the scope ends up being and the reason for that is that I'm handling the production for C des Gs alone, in my studio. I have a great set-up and good technical knowledge nowadays and can make stuff with much higher production values without the spiralling costs of studio and engineer hire. However, to get the album done, I'm going to need to treat it as a part-time job for about a year and so I'm going to have to find a way to help me through that time financially. The reason I was able to finish The Wassailant within a year was because of all the time spent at home during the pandemic! I'm not going to start production until I find a new part-time day job anyway, so I certainly won't be trying to raise the sort of money to depend on! But I probably will be earning less from a day job while I work on the album and I will need a small amount to supplement that/keep for emergencies if something goes wrong for me in that time - so that I don't have to halt production part way through.

So the low-scope, digital-only version would still be a crowd-funded affair, just a fairly low scale one. For the big one with all the cool rewards and awesome CDs and everything, I guess my other mini-worry is I don't actually know whether the funding goals I’d have to set to produce all the awesome extras are actually realistic to what people can afford. I don’t know if I could fund a project at the same level as a Mechanisms album for example, because I don’t have the same reach the band did. But we’re probably looking at something comparable, cost-wise, to The Bifrost Incident (but closer to its goal, not the final amount it was pledged) to produce the “full scope” version. Plus, the last time I ran projected costs for the project was before the cost of living crisis, so I don't know right now whether the CD/merch suppliers' costs will have increased.

I genuinely feel a ton of support and goodwill from people like you who really want to listen and I know there are plenty of you! But also I truly don't want to assume anything from you, so we'll have to see how realistic it is to make the full bells-and-whistles version, financially or in terms of my capacity, nearer the time. The way I'm feeling as I type this is that I may run the Indiegogo with a lower inital goal and just a couple of reward tiers (aiming to fund production and release the digital album and a simpler physical edition) and try to do some of the other stuff like an expanded liner or producing merch (and making merch available at discounted rates to backers who want it) as stretch goals.

Anyway, that is almost definitely a much longer answer than you were looking for, so I'll stop now. I really do appreciate the great ask; having the chance to thing about a proper answer has helped me straighten a few conflicts in my head that were causing me a little worry. Hope you have a great day!

If you've read this far, thanks! Please reblog this if this sort of thing is something you'd be interested in supporting and would like to spread the word. I don't know when I'll be ready to start a campaign, but I want more than anything to get dates for my ops, recover to the extent I can, and do it soon.

#kofi young #carnaval des gobelins

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katatonicimpression · 5 months

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Avengers (2023) Retrospective

ok technically the series isn't over but they've changed the lineup so it counts

I hadn't been following news on this so when I clicked on this week's I was genuinely surprised to see Steve... and then I was annoyed. So, I guess I'll sort this rant into sections so it looks like I am capable of logic and reason even though this is entirely vibes:

i. Jed's Style

So, McKay has this really noticeable tic in his writing where he structures an action sequence with a bunch of shit simultaneously, and then the panels flit between each tableau with a narration saying Something Meaningful about each moment which then builds to a climax.

This genuinely works really well to build to dramatic moments and to have the entire team feel present in the story. It does, perhaps, just a bit, get a little repetative and maybe didn't need to happen as many times as it did in 13 issues. 13 issues is long enough to devote longer to individual characters, and provide a more personalised story moment for everyone outside of the ensemble. So, yeah, effective at showcasing the team as a whole but not the most efficient use of time for more in depth storytelling.

That said, while I wasn't massively moved emotionally by what happened in this series, I did like it a lot. He's a good writer, his characterisation was mostly very good, and I had a good time.

ii. The SamChalla of it All

My absolute favourite thread in this series has been the relationship between Sam and T'Challa.

The pre-amble to this is that T'Challa made Sam's wings way back when, and he made his shield. He's just staggeringly down to help him and give him vibranium for nothing, just the sheer love of the game I guess. But then, in Symbol of Truth (SoT), Sam sneaks into Wakanda for superhero reasons and T'Challa is like "you're not supposed to be here" and Sam is like "can you not see the nazi I was chasing he is literally right there" and then they fight. They fight and Sam wins.

Sam wins, in jeans and a t-shirt. No wings, no shield. And to Sam, it's like whatever he just wanted to get out of that situation, but to T'Challa, that seems like a big deal. It shows that Sam doesn't need him, never did. It rocks his sense of superiority which, love the guy but he definitely has one.

It's important to remember that T'Challa is currently Going Through It when it comes to feeling rejected by his country (they want democracy) and having a bit of an identity crisis. This informs how he acts in Avengers (2023). How does he act? Pettily.

He nags Sam, condescends towards him, insists on calling him by his first name and not his code name. It's petty, it's mean spirited, but also oddly intimate. You can tell Sam bothers him, gets to him in some way.

For Sam's part, he doesn't sit back and take it, but he doesn't rise to the bait either. He pushes back a little, but avoids a real conflict. This is in character, and indicates that Sam does still respect T'Challa, despite his pettiness. I doubt Sam would have a huge amount of empathy for T'Challa's current angst (because lol) but he does want to be friends, he wants this weird phase to pass.

And then in Blood Hunt (which is ongoing and yes that means I should probably be saving this retrospective until after it ends but whatever) we see T'Challa sacrifice himself to save Sam. The other avengers too, but Sam first. Sam is his priority.

Now, isn't that just a fabulous moment. Everybody, please, write me some fanfics.

iii. Art (Comic Book go Brr)

It's fucking stunning let's be real.

The art is CF Villa, who knocks it out of the park. Everyone looks great, especially Wanda, and it's just fabulous to look at. Like, I don't have anything to say here because it's not like it's super stylised or there's anything unique about the art. It's just really solid in a really pleasing way.

I also like the way he drew Sam. I like it when Sam gets to be pretty and youthful, and not always so "big massive hulking monster of a dude" - Admittedly this is weird because obviously he is a big masculine guy, but adjusting for inflation (i.e. adjusting for the fact that all marvel dudes are massive), he's not supposed to be a mountain. He's a gymnast ffs. And yes, he's not technically that young in canon, he is approximately the same age as the o5 x-men, and younger than, like, Emma Frost, and yet he gets drawn like he's middle aged half the time and they all get to be fresh faced 20-somethings. So, yeah maybe my preferences are silly but they're not formed in a vaccuum - I like it when Sam gets the physical appearance that has been denied him in the past. And I don't think it's a coincidence that artists over the years have decided to make the black guy visually the biggest, most masc and oldest of the group time and time again even when it makes no sense.

That was a long way of saying that I preferred Sam's look in Avengers (2023) compared to SoT. And his writing tbh.

iv. Why am I so Mad?

I didn't love his writing though.

There were a few moments scattered here and there that felt really weird. I think McKay's choice to associate Sam with this abstract idea of being The Symbol could have worked, but he never really filled in the blanks there. A symbol of what? A symbol to whom? I think there are potentially really interesting and relevant answers to these questions with Sam, but I can't help but think they're what he had in mind when writing it.

No, rather I think he just had a vision of Sam as a Steve stand-in... but if #14 is anything to go by, a stand-in who he is considerably less interested in than he is in Steve.

Steve is a symbol of America, of patriotism and courage and valour, hope in desperate circumstances and punching nazis. He also symbolises american ideals of white masculinity, and functions as a kind of ubermensch much to his own annoyance. That's the irony of Steve - he represents things in many people's eyes that he doesn't stand for, and his grappling with that is a big theme for the character. In general, Steve is hyper aware of his own symbolic import - it comes up over and over again. Moreover, he deliberate evokes that power - his assumed status as a figurehead - in order to get people to do things.

Sam's status as a public symbol is very, very different. He is not seen as the embodiment of America - in fact many people seethe and cope at the very idea of him being associated with it - he's not a universal symbol of anything really, given how controversial he is. And, again, that's the twist with Sam - he's politicised no matter what he does and his dilemmas and decisions are all in the context of having radically different expectations on him than Steve does. That said, Sam does care about his symbolism; he specifically cares about how young Black people understand him, how they respond to him. He wants to inspire. His priority is not symbolic - he's all about actually helping people on the ground - but it is still an important thing to him that could've been explored.

But it isn't.

The worst part of this is that moment when T'Challa sacrifices himself. The villains want to take Sam and vampire-ise him because they think it'll be symbolic. T'Challa saves Sam, but literally says it's for symbolism reasons (very "the people need captain america because he gives them hope") but like...? No, T'Challa doesn't believe that. No, Sam is not seen like that by the public tbh. No, the villain is not right actually. The scene would have been so much stronger if T'Challa's reasoning was because he likes Sam, because he cares about him. That way the villain's cold, strategic perspective is contrasted with something human and loving, and it's a more apt final beat to their relationship arc.

And, anyway, I don't think the rest of blood hunt is going to heavily feature Sam as a beloved symbol of hope the world over. Maybe I'll stand corrected, but I doubt it. Especially because #14 continues the event but with Steve and oh what's that? He's the world symbol of hope and courage and whatnot?

Yeah. The man wanted to write Steve the entire time you can tell.

The other way Sam felt less than present in this series is obviously his powers. I know I go on about this every time, but seriously. He uses his powers once in #2, never again. There are missed opportunities with this, especially when they're dealing with Nightmare/existing in a dream state. Worse, the very first episode shows Sam being recruited with Carol's argument being "I would take Steve because obviously he's better but Sam is a powerless everyman so he's more humbly relatable." I'm paraphrasing but it's literally that patronising.

No, Sam is literally superhuman. No, he would not find this convincing. No, your otherwise good writing doesn't make me any less mad at you, Jed.

McKay's obvious glee at finally having Steve in his lineup is incredibly off putting. It's clearly what he wanted all along. But there's this other thing. Namely, that while Sam is clearly playing a stand-in role for Steve in this series, he's not really getting the full Captain America treatment either.

vi. Did Carol Danvers ruin my life?

At some point in the mid 2010s, Marvel made Carol Captain Marvel (she'd been Ms Marvel for years) and decided to actually treat her with dignity and gravitas. To respect the character and make her important. To portray her as the heavy hitter and major player she should be. And to make her a team leader.

Now, this is great obviously. Lovely to see them give her the respect she'd been often denied over the years.

She's the team leader in this comic. And then there's Tony - the writer's pet to end all writer's pets - and the rest of the team. So, if Steve were on this team, he'd be the leader. Tony would still be there and in charge of a lot, but Steve would be the shot-caller in action scenes and the guy framed as the lead. If Carol was on the same team as Steve (in the modern era) maybe they'd split this role, but Steve would still be calling shots and, idk like, pointing at stuff.. telling the avengers to assemble, you know the drill.

Sam's not doing that, though, is he?

Sam's just another part of the team here. He's not in a leadership position, not even when they're out in the field. He's kinda just in the background half the time. He gets to be the horse whisperer to the impossible city - which I genuinely love as a character beat it suits him - but aside from that he's just kind of there. To be clear, this is way better than that godawful infinity comic that insults him at every opportunity (and physically beats the shit out of him) but it still feels odd, right? He's call "captain" sometimes in Avengers (2023), but he doesn't get even a whif of authority in the series.

I'm left wondering if there really is room for a Captain America, a Captain Marvel and Iron Man in an avengers series. Like, that's too many bosses, too many team leaders. And that sucks.

But of course, if Steve were here, they'd find a way to put him in charge wouldn't they? This also sucks.

Anyway, it's not like I massively, desperately need Sam to be giving orders all the time. Honestly, I think as a guy he's in his comfort zone when he's not in charge. But that's why it's important to push him into a leadership role sometimes - because it challenges him. That's the entire point of him being Cap ffs.

v. Conclusion

I don't want to sound like I hate this series. I'd recommend #1-#13 and I do genuinely think it's really solid.

I'm also aware that a lot of what it failed me on are things that really belong in a Sam solo. But we don't have a Sam solo right now. We did have one, and it was kinda meh. It had many of the same problems and some entirely different ones. Although, it had a bit more fun with his powers, I'll give SoT that at least.

I guess maybe my hopes were a little too high? I was so caught up in the high of Sam being in a good comic that I forgot that company wide failures to do Sam justice existed.

But overall I think it is genuinely very good. I'm not a big avengers series person at all, and I still read this every month and anticipated each new issue. I had fun. I'm just also full of bitterness and resentment.

#2200 words ish #kinda salt #kinda not #avengers (2023)#this is mostly about Sam because you know me this is what I end up doing #rants

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third-half · 9 months

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2023 Self Check

Honestly, having an overall middling year where most of my troubles were my brain’s fault was kind of a breath of fresh air. Being out of commission for most of last year with a fucked up knee at least got me thankful every morning I can get up and walk around without a brace or cane. I don’t really agree with the doctors and my Dad that I’m “young” but I’m apparently still young enough I can heal. That said, I’m kind of let down in myself for letting depression and laziness get the best of me like, worse than usual this year. It hit kind of hard when sitting back and going through old archives of content and realizing that:

Sketch-A-Day was 2015 Eishi and Dixie was before that Revolver Knight ran from 2005-2008 or 2009

Meaning I’d basically failed to really deliver on any of the series/game/etc ideas I’d pitched from 2016 onward with the arguable exception of the dungeon crawler card game’s first version. If anyone was curious as to whether I’d touched on some of that stuff in the meantime the status of my Things right now is:

Angel Dust (The Gatty Thing)- Pretty much axed, as much as I love the character, it was kind of turning into edge for edge’s sake. The thing about Gatty Ling is I’ve had the idea of an erratic, destructive but adorable and well meaning character kicking around for ages but she’s kind of just a blank slate beyond those traits and I’ve tried to plunk her into like three completely unrelated settings with different origins. I was also attempting to kind of do a distinct art… sub…style with her stuff closer to a moe VN look, really pump up the cute to make the dark stuff pop, but well, Madoka already exists and the last iteration was basically Madoka with Robots. I probably wouldn’t rule it out forever but I’ve kind of been using some bits and pieces of the setting to flesh out the Plane Girls Thing

Revolver Knight Reload- I got like three pages into drawing a complete remake of my old webcomic, but kind of got cold feet from a combination of things. I didn’t think I was ready to take on another gigantic long form story, though I promise that the new version was *MUCH* more refined. Like Gatty, I wouldn’t say it’s *impossible* I mess with this, but I think I might look into something closer to a light novel with spot illustrations than a full on comic in the interest of like, finishing before I die.

Critical Heaven (The plane girl thing)- Still active, but having a bit of an identity crisis. It began as a ‘skirmish’ tabletop wargame then I got to thinking about it as more of a shmup-inspired duel game. The format of tabletop/print is also kind of iffy because I know people would be more likely to play it digitally and I have like, zip experience putting a substantial game project together. There’s also a more or less complete ‘campaign’ jotted half in my head and half in my notepad (putting it in a game with multiple endings would save me from deciding which ending to give it, hmmm.) But in short, yeah this is still being picked at.

Irrgarten (The Dungeon Card Thing)- I know I lead off with kind of the downer limbo thing but I’ve actually not totally abandoned this, definitely not the setting. Surprise, Radona is from this world! Really, I could probably bring this back pretty easily by revising the original game rules, the biggest issue we ran into play testing was that items didn’t ‘feel’ very valuable- characters were strong enough on their own not to need them. Maybe I can bump this up in priority.

There are probably other story ideas I’ve mentioned over the years and not followed up on, but characters from axed stuff do tend to surface in other projects if I’m attached enough to them. If there are any particular things that you enjoyed my work in or reading about in the past, do let me know. I’ve had a hard time motivating myself, so a nudge wouldn’t be a bad thing about now. Next year, I would really like to put more effort into having a regular “thing” to work on, maybe I’ll bring back some gag comics. Definitely plan to do more drawing in general because drawing one decent thing then going radio silent for two weeks leads to needing to de-rust like, every time. I’m a creature very vulnerable to inertia.

So, no promises here, but my goals going into 2024:

Put some time into practicing more ‘dynamic’ content like simple animation and game design since I have like three game making programs sitting around

Regular art posting, with a focus on improving quality and speed

Minding my health more since it’s easier to be active when there’s less of me to move

Establish a more regular streaming schedule since it helps me trim down my backlog

This kind of turned into more navel gazing than I had planned to be doing, but I thought this was a good time to touch base on some things since I’m back to posting here… well, okay, ‘regularly’ is a stretch, but there are a lot of things I’ve brought up before and not followed up on in a long time. If anyone has still been reading this- thank you, truly. I hope that with a bit more focus and less dwelling on the gnawing darkness in my gut, we can have some fun here again.

Oh, yeah, by the way- also been kicking around a top X games list I may get to posting soon, but may save for New Years Eve.

#meandering #who reads this

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mermaidsirennikita · 11 months

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Can you recommend any contemporary romances with cheating? Thank you!

I shall do my best, but give me some leeway lol--cheating is a romance "third rail" and it's hard to find books with like... legit infidelity (to me).

The Art of Scandal by Regina Black. Opens with the heroine, the mayor's wife, finding a dick pic from another woman on her husband's phone. The relationship is effectively over after that, but she agrees to stay married to him through the end of his campaign... Only to have an instant connection with a younger artist guy, who ends up being her frenemy's son. Very emotional and well-written, it gives a cheating vibe to me because, for all intents and purposes in the public eye, she is. Also, her husband DEF cheats lol, he just isn't the hero.

Possession by Adriana Anders. Again, "technical". The hero is an A-list actor and the heroine is a rising star/America's sweetheart type who agrees to a PR marriage to him. They're married, but they agree to zero sexual contact. He then gets caught on camera fucking a woman who looks a lot like her... in a kinky context. So good. The heroine follows him to this kink oasis he frequents, and she's like, determined to get at what he's ACTUALLY into.

Saint by Sierra Simone. M/M, heroes were together before one of them had a crisis and became a monk. The other one comes to the monastery five years later with his new fiancee and.... well, it ain't over. The cheating doesn't go TOO far and is handled quickly, but it does happen.

American Queen by Sierra Simone. First in an MMF trilogy about the president, first lady, and the VP--it's an Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot situation in the modern day, but like... everyone wants each other. An all time forever favorite. Greer and Ash (President Sexy) begin dating after his wife died, rekindling a flame that never went anywhere before he was married. What Ash does NOT know is that in between Ash getting with his wife and the wife dying, Greer lost her virginity and had a "love at first sight" thing with Embry, his best friend and VP. So throughout this book, while Ash and Greer are together, she's tempted by Embry and they're basically having an emotional affair... with a twist. There is definitely cheating in this one, though it doesn't go too far physically.

Give Me More by Sara Cate. Another MMF contemporary that is so good and might scratch that itch. Hunter and Isabel have been married a while, and Drake is Hunter's best friend since childhood who became Isabel's close friend too. Hunter is a partial owner in a sex club, so the three of them are on a road trip touring the competition, as you do. Hunter catches Isabel and Drake in a compromising moment, and sees that they want each other... but instead of getting jealous, he asks to watch.

Jana Goes Wild by Farah Heron. A "fallout from cheating" book. Jana and Anil have an amazing two week fling wherein she falls head over heels, and thinks he feels the same way... Then she finds out he's married. THEN she finds out she's pregnant. Skip five years into the future where they're co-parents who barely talk, and suddenly find themselves at a destination wedding where she's a bridesmaid and he's a groomsman. WHOOPS.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

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hiro-doodlez · 2 years

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Introduction thingy because I see literally everybody else making one

HIII my name is Disc(??) and im a silly goofy little guy that doodles literally anything and everything

I have hyperfixations very often (I recently got a new speedrun record! 3 in less than a month!) So my posts will change topics a lot. (Sorry if you follow for skeletons and then get turtles)

I'm very oooo mentally illlll

My asks are always open to art suggestions (which there's a 50/50 chance I will do it but it will take me a million years) and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. So no "bro your art is SOOOOO bad. 🙄🙄🙄"

OH YEAH PRONOUNS!! Uhhhhhhhh They?????? They/she/he i guess?? (Definitely NOT cis)

Also feel free to ask about my au, anxiety ink!! I need more excuses to draw them

I'm very normal btw

Also silly ofc

(main) Fandoms/hyperfixations:

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

Undertale Multiverse

Deltarune

The Owl House

My hero Academia

There's so many more but if i were to list them all we would be here ALL DAY

Steven Universe

Splatoon

Ok k.o! Let's be heroes!

Sonic

(Pssstt as of right now, April 15th, i have no set Hyperfixation so there's no specific fandom for this blog. )

TAGS!!!

(these are all tagged on this post btw)

#Discs digital art attempt (for all of the digital art which is usually better)

#Disc speaks (for all of the posts that DONT have art. I'm just spitting straight facts in those)

#discs sketchbook (for all of my goofy sketchbook shenanigans, a lot of the time they are school doodles and look horrendous, ignore it)

Disc reblogs (for.. reblogging...)

(((totally not going through a gender crisis nope totally not and also totally not testing out names like Robbie, Hero, and Kit, i would never do that(please switch them up OSHDOSK))))

(last updated: April 12th)

#discs digital art attempt #disc speaks #discs sketchbook #disc reblogs

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stevethehairington · 2 years

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Hi hi for the writer ask game:💘👻✨

hiii thank you for the ask!!

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff?

haha i think this one is pretty obvious once you take a look at my ao3 😂 nah but i definitely find it easier to write fluff! i do like to write angst on occasion too and depending on the specific kind of angst that can be easy to write as well, but yeah, for me generally fluff is just the easier one to do! what can i say? i'm a soft bitch lmao.

sometimes i wish i could do angst more, just because i feel like fluffy stuff doesn't get the same level of traction and reaction as the angstier stuff. which is something i feel like i've seen more in this fandom than any other fandom i've ever been in. this fandom sometimes makes writing fluff feel like i'm in an "always the bridesmaid never the bride" kind of situation lmao, and idk it just feels like angst gets all the credit and fluff isn't taken as seriously. which is a pretty big bummer as someone who mostly writes fluff, and it can be pretty disheartening sometimes. i try not to let it get to me too much, but like, sometimes it does.

to anyone else who feels that sometimes too: i'm here to say that fluff is valid, fluff is great, fluff is fantastic, fluff can be just as hardhitting and emotional as angst. you're doing amazing with your fluff and keep it up!!

so yeah, to answer the question lmao, fluff is easier for me to write!

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

ooh hm well idk if i have a "wildest" headcanon lmao. but the one that is currently taking over my whole entire brain right now is mustache steve harrington dskfjsd.

i just. there have been SO many good art pieces lately of steve with a mustache and i am so very into that for him and i'm vibing with it heavily. if you've followed me through fandoms you'll know that this isn't the first mustachioed man that i've loved - i'm looking at you, psl era mack (iykyk, if you don't wELL. that's a story for another day lmao)

but yeah i just think that steve would grow himself a lil mustache. maybe it would start as a dare, maybe he would do it 'cause he's bored, maybe he just wants to try something new, or my personal favorite, maybe he's crushing hard on eddie and they're watching a movie together and eddie points out an actor that has a mustache and makes some sort of comment about how hot he is or how good he looks, and, well, steve goes guy eddie thinks is hot has a mustache? logically that must mean eddie will think he's hot if he grows a mustache too so. he does that.

and the thing is - it works. like, the kids hate the mustache, robin hates the mustache, nancy just gives him a pitiful look when she sees it and only just refrains from asking if it's some sort of midlife crisis despite not being in his midlife yet lmao. but eddie. eddie. he fucking loves it. he hadn't been thinking specifically about the mustache when he'd called that actor hot, doesn't even realize that's why steve's doing it either, but he's losing his mind over it. and he has no idea why either!! he's never been into mustache's before. he's never gone coo coo for cocoa puffs over them. he's never thought about them in this much vivid detail before. but steve. steve and his goddamn sexy little mustache.

needless to say, the mustache is the best wingman steve's ever had, and eddie never wants him to shave it off.

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

oh man this is so hard because i've gotten so so many wonderful comments and i love every single one that i get so much.

if i have to pick favorites, i suppose these are two that have stuck with me a lot, that i think back on often:

i included a detail about eddie tripping over grass in one of my fics and someone pointed that out and said:

"Because you didn't take the trip anywhere, it wasn't a means to end. It wasn't a plot point. It was just a human thing that would happen to someone like Eddie, someone who moves without looking, who's too busy giving attention to what he's appreciating to care where he puts his feet. That kind of detail is the kind of shit that makes me hit subscribe. It's what turns a great writer into a memorable writer in a sea of great writers."

and this one really blew my socks off because being considered a memorable writer!!! that's huge that's so incredible that's makes me feel so honored. there are SO many talented writers in this fandom, so to stick out to someone like that, to be remembered amongst them all, that means soso much to me.

and then this comment, which is one i think back on ALL the time. like it actually, genuinely made me cry it was so kind and so sweet and so lovely. i'm not including the whole comment here bc it's a pretty long one, but one of my favorite parts of it was this:

"It’s the way you write perfectly imperfect moments that does it for me. A lot of fic writers want every moment to be the best one, the most important one, the brightest one, but there needs to be balance and build up. Some moments need to sit and stew before they turn into anything good. Sometimes a look downward is all we need for the pieces to click together and for the scene to feel whole, for the moment to feel real. You’ve got that."

this commentor also complimented my characterization, which is soooo important to me. i just felt very very seen by this comment - the whole thing! - and i just so appreciated the kind things this commentor said and the way they like picked apart my writing in the best kind of way. like, this commentor gets what i was doing with my writing here - what i try to do with all of my writing. and it just felt so nice to be recognized for that and for that to be complimented. this one means the world to me, and i want to frame it on my wall sfdsf.

fanfic writer ask game

#asks #zerokrox-blog #fanfic writer ask game

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miguel-panfilo-pho101 · 6 months

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The exhibition I chose to critique is called Ann Shelton: worm, root wort… & bane. The exhibition was hosted by the Alice Austen House on Staten Island. The artist featured was Ann Shelton and photographic works, there were about 12 different pieces to admire and assess what she was trying to portray. All the photos were archival pigment printed on Hahnemuhle bamboo, with a dimension of 84x112cm, most of the prints were displayed in white room with white frames and glass around the prints. One thing I found very fascinating was that one of the pieces had an actual piece of roots and what appear to be some of the same type of things used in the photo. This was interesting because not only is it out in the open and in front of a fireplace, it makes a person want to take a closer look and it comes with such a natural scent it makes one imagine what the other would smell or even feel like in real life. The installment was definitely interesting, from what I can think of while being there the floor was creaking as I stepped, making the exhibit feel like the roots and plants that are on the wall are what is taking over the space. Another thing that caught my eye was how much natural light comes in from the outside making the room brighter and the prints have this powerful presence because of their dark colors that stand out as soon as you walk in the room. Furthermore, the scenery outside the Alice Austen house complimented the prints very nicely being that the house's location had a lot of greenery and waterfront view. Shelton, who was born in New Zealand, for this exhibit she wanted to showcase how our disconnection to the natural world in our everyday lives has led to a crisis. The roots and plants that are shown were used by some for healing but many don't know that because it’s a lost knowledge making us estranged from the natural world.

One artwork that had me stop and actually examine fully was the one above the fireplace because of the piece that sat in front of it but also because it had an eerie feeling because its background was dark but also had some sort of color. Most or all of her photos use symbolism to represent certain ideas. Specifically, the one above the fireplace, it is called lady of the dead and king of the road made up of certain leaves and roots. The name refers to plantains which is used in the picture because it symbolizes a person who in the medieval days was able to avoid the transition to death, but the leaves and other things sit on top of a ceramic pot that represents a coffin on its way to a funeral. The artist is trying to say that we are getting lost in our connection to nature, that slowly each plant that was looked to for its healing properties or symbolic meaning is being forgotten and thrown away.

Another piece of art that was called she consolidates wounds, that is a print of someone's arm that extends with the plant known as goldenrod. For those who don't know this plant was used for medicinal purposes and was considered sacred, by indigenous people in North America. The picture had the best form of symbolism, once you understand what is being held. In the picture arm that is holding it has a scar that is stretches on the arm adding to the pictures symbolic meaning of being a healing plant.

The “staying power” of the photographs is that through the use of different roots, and plants as symbol that represents different nature properties. The overarching message is our disconnect from the natural world that makes it a crisis, meaning we tend to disconnect ourselves from everything around us that we don't realize what is good or bad. Overall, the message relates to us today, now more than ever because there is so much information given to us that we dissociate ourselves and let preventable crisis happen.

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today-it-is-this · 2 years

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today, it is this – season 2 of young royals!! which i started yesterday but watched the final episode today <3 hold on y'all this is about to be a LONG (maybe?) entry! i have so much to say. first and foremost, i adore this show so much. i love wilmon so much, and i love how edvin ryding and omar rudberg portray them. and none of this would exist without the wonderful woman that is lisa ambjörn (you are amazing, you are incredible, thank you gracing us with your art)

this season was angsty and such an emotional rollercoaster. wilhelm and simon so desperately want to be together, but try their hardest to steer clear of each other. however, they find that at the end of the day that their love is worth fighting for. they're soulmates and there's just nothing like their relationship. coming into the second season they're still bitter, but they both know where the other is coming from, and they understand. in episode 5, though, they accept the fact that staying away from each other would be worthless. i love that lisa decided to spotlight karin boye's work like that, and using crisis as a mirror to what simon and wille were experiencing. the conversation they had about the book, where they essentially apologized and forgave each other, was beautiful.

"I want to be with you. And if we have to keep it a secret then so be it. If there's no other way... but no more secrets between us."

that hallway scene in the last episode when simon pulls wilhelm away for a moment... AND WHEN SIMON FINALLY SAYS I LOVE YOU BACK TO HIM.... when i tell you i was smiling EAR to EAR i must've looked like an IDIOT oh my goodness these two mean everything to me. also, i find that this scene in episode 5 after wille's therapy session has one of the most chills-down-my-back lines:

"I could be free... with you."

"Did he say he would give up the crown for you?"

AND WE CANNOT FORGET ABOUT THAT ENDING. GUYS THAT ENDING. with simon's confession and them *finally* being boyfriends, and what he discovered in his therapy sessions, wille finds the confidence and the power to stand up and lead the life he wants — find the middle and choose both simon and the crown. simon definitely looks more shocked and you can see fear on his face when wille goes rogue. but wille... when he turns back to look at simon and hold his gaze... and simon's smile growing... they do have each other, and they will get through whatever they need to together. wille is out, and simon's no longer a secret :')

i've read some interviews with edvin and omar – here are some excerpts from their teen vogue interview that really REALLY just resonated with me <3:

"'There's got to be a middle way, there always is, like it's all about compromise. And I think that's what the end of season two is describing, because for the first time for Wilhelm's part, he sees things from a different perspective. He takes in both Simon's perspective, his own perspective and the whole world because he's the first royal to ever come out as queer, but also his family's perspective … that opens up for a middle way. It doesn't mean that it's certain that it will work. But you know…'"

"'[The ending is] such a powerful moment where Wilhelm for the first time this season is completely honest, in contrast to Simon who is better at being honest,' Edvin says. Omar thinks that Simon’s heart dropped to the floor when Wilhelm made his speech. 'He didn’t see that coming, and he realizes that ‘damn, he loves me,’ you know what I mean?' Omar says."

"With the world watching, the monarchy on the brink, there’s an assuredness between them. Something must be broken for it to be rebuilt stronger. The bud breaks and then it blooms. This is a season where they exist in that pain. It hurts to let in the “new.” It hurts to be open to change, to other perspectives. It’s taken them time. But it’s in a flower’s nature to bloom."

"As [The Irrepressibles' 'The Most Beautiful Boy'] scores the final scene, the pair exchange a smile, 'feeling for a second their greatest security, resting in the trust that creates the world.' Or, for Wilhelm and Simon, the trust in each other. Edvin summarizes the intent behind the closing shot: 'Bring it on.'"

and from the la times:

"'We’ve been very clear from the start that Wilhelm’s problem is not that he is queer, but that he’s the prince of Sweden,' says Ambjörn, whose past work has explored the inner lives of the working and lower-middle classes. 'His love for Simon makes him reexamine and think about every expectation that is brought upon him.'"

"... from the moment Wilhelm and Simon lock eyes at a party in the new year, 'they cannot let each other go, and they are deeply in love,' Rudberg says. 'And whatever they do, it will not make them forget the love that they have for each other and what they’ve been through together.'"

"'Even though Simon knows that it’s wrong, and he knows that he is there with Marcus and he has been saying no to Wilhelm, I just think it’s so beautiful that they just have to feel each other,' Rudberg says with a smile. 'They’re still teenagers, and they cannot think about what’s wrong or right.'"

"As in many of their scenes this season, Ryding and Rudberg were given the freedom to improvise the moments between kisses — their relieved smiles and laughs, the natural movement of their hands — which, they say, is a testament to their rapport and understanding of the characters. 'This season, we feel way safer with each other,' Ryding says, 'and that creates an environment where you’re able to have fun.'"

"'That [final] look is saying, ‘I’m in control. This is me. I’m queer. I’m in love with this guy, and I’m prepared to face whatever is coming next. It’s a very ‘Let’s start a revolution’ kind of moment,' Ryding says with a laugh. 'In my mind, Wilhelm wants nothing more than being able to face these things with Simon. … I guess the big question is, can Wilhelm and Simon handle that together?'"

2/11/2022

#what moves you today?

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lovelyeuphoriceuphoria · 3 years

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Beat His Ass - Euphoria

“Bitch, you better be joking,” Maddy stared at you. As usual, she was dressed to perfection– a brand-new sunny yellow two-piece set, along with a matching pair of kitten heels and a cute white handbag. Soft yellow gems glittered along her lash line, her lips stained a sweet shade of baby pink. Maddy’s jaw dropped as she scanned your appearance. “Where the fuck did you get that shirt?” She demanded.

You were wearing an oversized t-shirt as a dress, smiling brightly. On your t-shirt was a picture of Cal Jacobs. Underneath the picture was a message in all caps that read; IF YOU SEE THIS MAN, BEAT HIS ASS.

“Bitch,” Maddy shook her head. “Nate’s gonna flip the fuck out on you.” You snorted, rolling your eyes. You linked your arm with hers, dragging her out of the doorway. “Oh, because I’m so scared of a slenderman clone with daddy issues, who’s also having a sexuality crisis,” You replied. Maddy choked on her own spit. “You did not just go there,” Maddy snorted when she got her bearings back. You rolled your eyes once more, shrugging apathetically. “If he’s got an issue with me, he can catch these hands.” You replied.

Maddy snuggled closer to you, her dark eyes bright with suppressed laughter. “I’d fuckin’ love to see that.” She told you. You grinned as Rue approached, her eyes widening when they fell to your shirt. “Dude,” Rue’s voice was shaking with barely contained mirth. “No fucking way.” Rue giggled into the palm of her hand. Her curly hair bounced with the force of her giggles. “Is there like, anyway you could make another one of those?” She asked, eyes wide. “Or like, several? Just in case it gets torn or stained?”

Throughout the day, your friends’ reactions to your shirt differed. Csssie frowned in disapproval, her wide blue eyes narrowing into tiny slits. She was still desperately trying to regain Nate’s stilted affection. It was sad, but there was nothing you could do; Cassie didn’t want help, she didn’t want to listen. You knew that you could lead a horse to water, but you couldn’t make it drink. Yeah. That definitely applied to Cassie’s situation.

Lexi had wheezed, then immediately demanded to take a picture so she could send it to Fez and Ash. Shortly after that, there were three more requests for a Cal Jacobs’ slandering shirt. Lexi quickly set the picture as her lockscreen, much to your amusement. “You’re my new hero,” Lexi told you. “Honestly. Can we make that shirt our new school uniforms?” She had asked. “Lex, we don’t have uniforms,” You had replied. “We barely even have a fuckin’ dress code.” Lexi waved that away. “I will literally campaign for us to have uniforms, solely so that we can wear that shirt.”

Jules had squealed with laughter, tossing her head back. Every time you thought she’d gotten ahold of herself, she would burst into a renewed fit of laughter, frantically trying to speak through the high pitched giggles that came bubbling from her throat. Finally, she caught her breath. “Can I please have one of those? Tell me you made more than one of those fuckin’ things.” Jules was quickly added to the rapidly expanding list of people who wanted a t-shirt of their very own.

Kat had just shaken her head at you in amusement. It seemed like lately, Kat hadn’t had much to say. To anyone. It seemed like Kat was fading into the background. If she was on a TV show, her character’s scenes would be completely cut.

Your phone buzzed with a message from Fezco. He showcased the joints he’d rolled for you, for “creatin’ the most beautiful piece of fuckin’ art” he’d ever seen. He also requested three t-shirts– one for him, one for Ash, and he was insisting on paying for Lexi’s; that was his fuckin’ girl, and he wanted to spoil her. He wanted to give her everything she could ever ask for. You sighed to yourself. Fuckin’ lucky bitch.

You were snapped out of your reverie rather roughly. And by roughly, you were shoved up against the locker, a hand wrapped around your throat. You were suddenly looking into the furious eyes of your least favorite psychopath. Nate motherfuckin’ Jacobs. You struggled, but Nate was a 6’4 ball of murderous rage. “You fuckin’ cunt,” Nate snarled. Your nose wrinkled in disgust. “Is that canned tuna fish on your breath?” You asked. “Or is it Cassie’s pussy?”

The slowly forming crowd ‘oohed.’ You heard Rue’s distinct cackle in the background. Nate’s fingers tightened around your throat, but you met his gaze, completely unbothered. “Is this like, one of your signature moves? Like, if you saw a girl at a club, would you just choke her instead of asking for her number?” You wheezed around his rapidly tightening hand.

“Shut the fuck up!” Nate screamed, his face redder than you’d ever seen it. “Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, you stupid cunt!” Nate slammed you harder against the lockers. Maddy, Jules, Rue, and Lexi were frantically trying to get to the front, shoving random students aside to come to your aid. You just grinned at him, your eyes glinting. “Jokes on you, Nathaniel. You might be fuckin’ crazy, but to borrow a line from Cassie, I’m crazier.” Your grin widened. Your legs weren’t pinned, stupid fuck didn’t take that into account. You raised your leg, and right as your friends reached you, you kicked Nate in the dick, as hard as you could.

Instantly, Nate dropped you onto the ground. He crumbled down next to you, wailing in agony. You simply stepped over him, then glanced down at him. You shrugged, then kicked him in the stomach. “That one’s for Maddy,” You kicked him again. “That’s for Rue,” You continued, kicking him again. He shrieked in pain. “And that was for Jules.”

You stepped towards your friends. Jules wrapped you in her arms. Maddy stepped over the prone form of her former boyfriend. She stomped her foot hard, into Nate’s side. Nate gurgled, choking on some of his blood. “And that’s for her,” Maddy gestured to you. She turned around, intent on making her way back to your little ragtag group of friends.

Cassie stepped up to her, her fists clenching. She opened her mouth, but Maddy held up a hand. “Bitch, your pussy smells like hotdog water. Move on.”

With that, she rejoined the group, wrapping her arms around you. Rue and Lexi piled on, squishing you, but like, in the best way possible.

Your phone buzzed with a video. It was the video of Nate confronting you, and ending up weeping on the ground. You immediately saved it, then curiously asked– “Do you think I could use this as my campaign video, if I ever decide to run to be the president?”

#euphoria x reader #euphoria #euphoria hbo #euphoria oneshot #rue bennett #maddy perez #nate jacobs #FUCK NATE JACOBS #fuck the Jacobs family #kat hernandez #jules vaughn #lexi howard #fezco x lexi #fezco o'neill #cassie howard #nate jacobs bashing #ignore this fic bc i'm rly high and i wrote this in half an hour

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valenhell · 3 years

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From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites.

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict. - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no.

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending.

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic.

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet.

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will.

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes.

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers.

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings.

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it.

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not.

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised.

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute.

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable.

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it.

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay.

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it.

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

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