you know how James Stephanie Sterling called The Sinking City the worst game they'd ever liked?
as a website, that's what tumblr is to me.
...unfortunately, it is still the best thing we've got, so I will continue to lurk in the wreckage of this broken code heap, propping it up with sticks (browser extensions) until it collapses under the weight of its own bad decisions
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I've been destroyed so so will you:
10 years later and Obi-Wan is still having nightmares about Anakin's death.
The first thing he does when he wakes up is reach out to Qui-Gon--but he doesn't get an answer. He feels so desperately alone, clearly still blaming himself for everything.
Bail calls him out on this when he's begging him to save Leia, and the fear in Obi-Wan's eyes when he responds, "What if I can't save her?" is for her father, not just for her.
Both times, when talking with Owen and Bail, Obi-Wan holds their gazes--but as soon as they say Anakin's name, he can't anymore, and he has to look away. He visibly retreats and is destabilized by that name, which makes Owen's accusations all the more brutal.
He remembers the exact spot he buried the lightsabers. His next to Anakin's, buried together in the same coffin box. His face when he sees them both carries a decade of grief.
I had also thought the friend that Obi-Wan told Leia she reminded him of was Anakin at first, but then he said "she," and I was disappointed, because I thought he meant Satine when it should have been one of Leia's parents. But I just realized it was one of her parents--it was Padme.
Using the Force seems to cause Obi-Wan pain after refraining for so long (perhaps lending some truth to Leia's assertion that he "can't"); but it's even more painful because the first time he uses it after killing Anakin all those years ago is to save Anakin's daughter.
Obi-Wan never introduced himself to Haja, and if he did, he would have done so as Ben; he's still trying to leave his past and his identity as a Jedi behind. But Haja recognizes him for the Jedi he is (and was), and so he uses his true name."You're not alone, Obi-Wan." How much those few words mean is written all across Obi-Wan's face.
Obi-Wan, who in all his years has always been able to keep himself under control, even right after Anakin's death, literally has a panic attack when he learns that Vader is still alive. It turns Haja's comforting words into a cruel irony, a reality so overwhelming that he's nearly killed. He can't even compose himself on the ship, with Leia standing right in front of him.
He dares to reach out into the Force, terrified of what he will see and what he has done. And Obi-Wan finds him, and feels nothing but hatred--and still calls him "Anakin."
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i felt as if y’all should see my nails rn. excuse the random bruising on my fingers i went snowboarding a couple nights ago and got my shit wrecked 🤸🏻♀️ i worked so hard on these fruity little nails and NOBODY has seen them today. so now u all will see them!
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im keeping that post with lists of lesbian books as a reference since its a good resource i suppose but some of the books on those lists…. 😨
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