#this is not good for my mental well being 😭😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caladriusposts · 2 days

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hiya iydm could talk about your quirk in your dr :)

yes!!Here’s a brief summary of my quirk,lets start with the basics ᯓ

my quirk type is an emitter/mutant that also has aspects linked to my emotional well being,its called icy blessings (i let izuku pick the name in our first year,it used to be called icy water but i hated that).

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I have two quirks that merge together,my first quirk is water based,it lets me see water molecules and suck them out of air,it’s one of the coolest part of it tbh it reminds me of ladybug when she uses her lucky charm😭 my water is basically unlimited besides me getting mentally fatigued/dizzy,i can shape,move and temper with its temperature all i want (it took alot of training to do so).my second quirk manifested in middle school out of emotional baggage,she’s just like dark shadow and has her own conscious.she’s like a guide rather than being uncontrollable like dark shadow at times. it’s a whole quirk type called phantom quirks in my dr.

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ᝰ.ᐟ Some cool stuff i can do with my quirk:

⋆ Teleportation: i teleport via jumping from one water molecule to another! Its really fun it feels like jumping on a trampoline and its so instant.I can also teleport stuff (and it eventually turned to teleporting people) i teleported the ball to a not so nearby beach in the Ball Throw during the Quirk Apprehension Test.

⋆ Healing: like i mentioned my quirk has emotional aspects and healing is one of them,i heal people via affection (platonic or not,i basically heal strangers out of the goodness of my heart literally).

- Something related to healing is purification,i can purify anything that has water in it and make it perfectly edible/unharmful, it works on wounds to infections to anything.(since the human body is 70% water which in the long run made me blood bend SAFELY cause the root of my quirk is not reflecting any damage on anyone).it also makes me immune to food poisoning #yay me.

⋆ Water detection: i can sense water masses around me,and that includes people,its so helpful when i don’t know how many people are gonna be there when i go through a door to be prepared.it also helps me know where people i know are i love texting my friends “i know where you are” out of context bahahaha.

⋆ Materialization: i had a quirk awakening in second year that allowed me to materialize everything and anything from my quirk,ice or not it just needs my creativity,i can also alter my body functions but its rather restrictive compared to objects since i have know how what i wanna change biologically functions to the dot,i only did that once when i took a really really bad hit and tried to boost my healing via materializing body tissue,worked at the end but not something i would wanna do again.

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that’s mostly what i’d like to share 🫶🏻 feel welcome to ask about anything especially quirk biology i love quirks sm.

#reality shifting #shifting blog #shifting #shifting community #shifting diary #shifting motivation #shiftblr #mha shifter #reality shift #desired reality #shifters #shifter #mha shifting #poc shifter

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youretoomuchweretiger · 2 years

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sakakura and munakata.

#that’s it #i just ugh #literally all my favourite ships are from danganronpa #this is not good for my mental well being 😭😭#they are all so sad #danganronpa #sakakura and munakata #juzo sakakura #kyosuke munakata #danganronpa the end of hope's peak high school #the end of hope's peak high school

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fitzrove · 5 months

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Ooh btw when I went out with my friends the other night we were waiting for a bus at one point. An extremely pretty girl was waiting for it a few metres away from us... I noticed her existing as you do pretty girls when you are a Homosexual (🫣) but was mostly focused on talking to my friends and stuff. Well suddenly she came up to us and I noticed she was actually kinda crying (!! 🥺) and asked if any of us had a tissue. I am always prepared esp fresh off my sneezy Vienna trip, so I gave her a plastic-wrapped pack, unopened and all... she was very grateful (asking if she could really keep it all - I said it was fine and even got to use the tdv sarah "you can have it, i've got two" line because I did have two hehehe success everyone inside my brain clapped) but she struggled to open it because long acrylic nails! So I offered to help again and she gave it back to me and our fingers brushed a bit and I tore the plastic cover open with my long short-nailed sexy lesbian fingers 😌 and gave it back hehe.

Anyway I feel like this all would've been a queercoded metaphor if it was fictional but because it's real life we went our separate ways never to meet again 😌 but I was still kind of thinking about her at the club 🥹 and when we were taking the train home with my friend at 5:50 am I was kind of talking about her JSKFLDLFLFL omg kinda creepy tbh esp since I wasn't even drunk 💀 Well my friend was drunk so maybe she already forgot about it. I hope that girl is less sad now and believes in the good in humanity 😌❤️

#🤣🤣🤣 this is what you hyperfixate on when you're too mentally ill to meet people for dates sjkdkdlflf #that and straight girls 💀 there is a cute straight girl in my programme that's very touchy (maybe because she's french) and this week #her cute straight friend (well she has a bf but i'm assuming straight lmao) was visiting her 😭😂😂😂#i talked to her for like an hour about castles and the cote d'azur 😌#also omg not to return to the tissues and this is tmi but my ex gf also gave me one of those plastic packs at least once 😭 akdkdlld #(i dont remember if it was because i was sick or if it was when we broke up and i was crying 💀 it was nice either way 🥺)#so um yeah i guess i was just paying forward good gay karma 😌😌#akdkdldllf idk being undercover gay is weird. i think its nice to be able to interact w girls and not have them assume ulterior motives #(which i dont really have... like if i'm white knighting i'm just doing it for my own satisfaction/enjoyment 💀😭😂)#but yeah i feel like straight girls you just met will interact w you in a girl talk way and then you're secretly a bit into them whoops 🤡🤣#personal #ramble

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daz4i · 7 months

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it's so hard being a person who needs to be the best at everything when you are slightly below average at best at any given department

#i don't think ppl who tell me i'm good at x thing (that includes things like looks or voice etc btw) are lying or anything #but i do think they're biased and their love skews their perception of me. bc i mean. no one else can see it after all #and i hate that as a kid i was propped up as better than others bc it really did give me this complex while growing up lol #joining a gifted class and finding out i'm not actually particulary smart compared to them #failing auditions as an adult or messing up things i did get into #like this is why i don't like it when ppl say i have an impostor syndrome like noooo i literally do suck 😭#i'm not saying this in an 'i'm blind to my own abilities' way i'm just saying that compared to most people i am below average 😭#being better at a thing than the average person who. doesn't do the thing. doesn't mean much when i'm among the worst in those who do #and it's really discouraging from getting better at things too. bc i feel so inherently shitty at everything that it feels pointless #(esp given that i DID put years of effort into certain things yet i still suck or i lost my ability to do them with time)#so it's easier to not try. if i'm gonna be the worst anyway yknow? may as well save the effort and the heartache of trying and failing #(getting better is all about failing over and over yada yada ik all that shit i'm just not built to handle it. mentally)#vent #accidentally. bc i started rambling. bc i'm in some jealousy fueled rage rn sorry

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sanchoyo · 8 months

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haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭#sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑#which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming.#and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!!#they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭#remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧#my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months

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I wish I could post some of my photography from today, but it's a bit too specific so I don't wanna dox myself shkfkgkg but ahhhh man I love taking pics whenever I go to the city 🥰

#i love taking pics when im w other people #cause theres a group mentality w taking pics yknow?#<- like if you see someone take a pic of smth your brain is automatically like 'ah! i should take a pic too!!'#but i picked my phone particularly for the camera #so inevitably the other person always ends up being like #'ill leave the photography to you. send the pics later?'#the pics i took today are such good wallpaper material #but unfortunately im p attached to my f1 backgrounds #but my friend said they were good wallpaper material #and i finally got back home and checked and ahhhh not to brag but my framing is so good :)#*also abt my day out 🤭#i love classical music and its so cool seeing it live BUT #unless its a loud dramatic piece(ex. Holst's Mars) or one you know pretty well #oh my god it puts me to sleep i feel so bad 😭#its just too cozy and dark in the concert hall and i kept feeling myself drifting off #also i will say. i usually think that: European city architecture > american city architecture #but theres some really beautiful historic buildings in my city #and i realize its really silly for me to think that theres no great sights in america bcs #i get that same 'wow' feeling whenever i see certain buildings here #catie.rambling.txt

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anthromimicry · 4 months

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sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.

#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#it kind of surprises me just how much content there is out there about being afraid of intimacy but then again-#i have heard that that is supposedly one of the most common fears that people have apparently. so yeahhh but of course i do mean emotional-#intimacy here and oh my goshhh. i never realized just how sad parts of this song were until i listened to it again.#'i run away when thing's are good and never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could #i hate to say it BUT that is so misao. she really does feel sooo unlovable sometimes and she has this 'leave them before they leave you'-#mentality that is so saddening to have TBH but i understand why she has it. her childhood kind of left her broken in a way i think-#in ways that can't be easily explained as it was very nuanced and complicated. but GAHHH that doesn't stop me from wanting misao-#to find at least some kind of love from people 😭 like she needs at least one friend or something that she can depend on bc i feel like-#that would really help her and being in a house alone all the time whenever she's not at work can not be good for her psyche.#so petition to get misao a friend or two? JSJSJ nahhh but i am legitimately being serious at this point #she needs someone who'll stick with her through thick and thin and will be understanding of the fact that she's got unresolved trauma so-#that partially causes her to be hyperindependent but i firmly believe that she needs people just as much as anyone else.#maybe more in fact but IDK #and the fact that in this song halsey says that she still knows facts about them even though she hasn't talked to them-#in forever? i'm WEEPING AHHH #that is so like misao as well sadly. she would literally take little notes as to what thing's people like to reference later if she had a-#friend because she 'doesn't want to get it wrong' whenever she gets them a present she says but it's really so that she doesn't forget-#how precious this person is to her and how she wrote down all of their favorite things as a result.

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here #so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad #bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk #and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other #bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue #but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying #and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment #and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse #but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains #like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find #frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is #so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive #and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro #ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices #oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive #with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big #ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria #my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae #ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing #my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project #bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol #ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌#unrelated

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pepprs · 2 years

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all is not well in waffletown

#i need to have more compassion for my mom bc she is extremely depressed rn and may have a serious physical illness as well which is so much #fun to deal with. but i am so angry and irritated with her rn. why do i have to ask you for permission to leave this place when i am almost #24 and work a full time job. why do i have to spend every single day rotting away instead of living my life bc you’ll guilt trip me for #wanting to be an independent adult as is my right. not everything is abou you being mentally ill over having ***** ive already lost enough #experiences and time in my life to it why do i have to give even more to it. i am almost TWENTY FOUR.#purrs #delete later #also i don’t even get to pick out the paint color in my new room which is so awesome. yessss take away all of my agency and sap out all of t #the joy from moments and milestones that are important to me 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍#im a brat for venting abt her online ik i need to have more compassion for her bc she is inches away from havi ng a mental breakdown and im #very scared abt what will happen if she does. but this is actually insane. im so mad #literally the most poetic example of this is how she broke her arm riding a bike in 4th grade so she refused to let me and my siblings learn #how to ride it. and how she grew up with 487429749274 pets and was traumatized by losing her dog so she didn’t let me or my siblings have #pets at all. and other examples i will not go into. like omg we are not YOU!!!!!! let us fucking LIVE good GOD!!!!!!!!!#also like how are you gonna attack me a few weeks ago over redacted and then when i do what you want you tell me no 😭😭😭😭😭 how does that even #make sense. and again to reiterate the point. WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR PERMISSION. I AM ALMOST 24.

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lemememeringue · 2 years

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tis change of season (oof ow, me bones) so therapy was mostly talk abt disabilities.

#mine #lem experiences cognitive behavioural torture #lem has a body #this is a relatively Safe Topic except for that once-a-year vampiric lament so I was p talkative #my therapist is also disabled so I think it was easier to connect on the Well Meaning People Who Will Not Just STOP IT #but it was difficult to explain how I'm already Over™ the five stages of grief when it comes to The Rest of My Chronically In Pain Life #it was just like ''I'm already looking into getting crutches bc ik it's gonna get worse'' ''😔 it can be scary and frustrating when—''#''what? no this is great it means I can hit ppl who get too close and blame it on being uncoordinated'' ''.... ah.''#hfjdvfbjgjdhkfbfjg #we also talked abt the autism support group thing. after he explained the purpose of a support group I said that it didn't sound helpful #like.. ik I'm ''not alone'' and I don't rly need my experiences validated? I just want to function enough to leave home #''it sounds like you maybe disagree w the dx. maybe you don't have autism at all?'' well that'd be p disappointing bc we got good memes #my therapist said I have a sense of humour and a good attitude uwu #throughout the session I talked abt mum and started unpacking Just The Surface of that #and I reiterated how I am Doing Okay being at home and online. I just want to get away from Here and I can't transition on my own #bc today was a decent mental health day I was mostly coherent #and we're going to work on How To Leave The House bc doctors don't count bc that requires mum #next week I'll be skipping therapy tho bc I finally got in w the psychiatry place #got a two hour intake 😭😭😭😭#it was Weird getting back in the car after therapy today. mum has been praying for good ppl to help me abd she feels her prayers are heard #I feel kinda guilty bc a half hour ago I was talking abt how emotionally manipulative she gets #multidimensional character yanno

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cheekblush · 1 year

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really starting to think someone put the evil eye on me.....

#all 3 of my final lab exams went horribly #today i had an oral exam & my first train was canceled & the second one was 20 minutes late #i arrived 7 minutes late but i was thankfully still on time bc there was still another student in the exam room #my teacher obviously wasn't amused but she was still nice & i got a b which i'm satisfied with #but my teacher seems convinced that i can do much better like a b isn't a good grade?? let me live 😭#i guess i was still lucky bc i was there on time after all & got a good grade but it was soooo stressful i'm glad i didn't cry #and my mom made it so much worse when i told her my train wasn't coming she got all mad at me like it was my fault???#she kept saying i finally need to grow up like girl what does that have to do with the train being canceled? 😭#she stressed me out even more & she actually could've easily driven me to my exam bc i had still had over an hour to get there #but instead she kept berating me and making me feel even worse...#and i kept telling her i'm already stressed enough can't you tell me smth uplifting but she just kept being negative & condescending #it's a little frustrating how all my exams before the finals went so good but now that it really matters everything seems to be going south #but ultimately i just want to pass everything and never set foot into this school again i can't wait for all this to be over 😪#and sometimes i really think the girls i surround myself with at school want me to fail..#like i often miss school bc of mental problems & sometimes i feel like they're mad that i still do well in school??#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but sometimes it really feels like they're waiting for my downfall #our 'friendship' is very superficial as well & i often feel left out from the group tbh #like last friday i stayed behind a little to talk to a girl & none of them waited for me even though we all go to the train station togethe #but they always wait for the other girls of the group..#i'm not taking this too personally bc i don't see them as good or close friends & i know once school is over i won't see them again anyways #but it does hurt a little bc i'm always the odd one out who struggles to make friends no matter where i am #either way..... please please please just let me pass all of my exams & let everything fall into place in my life 🧿🧿🧿#☁️

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vulpinesaint · 2 years

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STOP cause who was gonna tell me that i was genuinely actually not well my whole teenage years. how did i end up consistently hanging out with the most mentally ill people on planet earth so that i thought i was normal in comparison. "idk i just feel like being hit by a car would fix me. not to die or anything just to feel the impact and get like a physical reset :)" BRACKEN YOU WERE NOT NORMAL

#constantly deluding myself going 'oh it wasn't that bad' forgetting that suicidal ideation is a thing that is actually not good #walking to school thinking 'well i'm not gonna kill myself but everything would be so easy if i was dead. like if i just didn't exist' BABE #<— said smth along those lines to my little sibling once thinking it was totally normal and they looked Horrified. had to play it off sjkgh #the car thing was a repeated theme all through junior year though 😭#tf when you feel so disjointed and detached from your body and your mind feels so fucked that you fantasize about being hit by a car #bc it feels like it would fix you. hello #anyway. those chemicals were definitely unbalanced sdkfghsd #hm. have never mentallyill-posted before because i did not think i was mentally ill. how do i tag properly #</3 #suicide tw #suicide cw #yeah??? idk. sorry anyone who sees this and did not want to #valentine notes

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aberooski · 2 years

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Luke's song Diamonds is hitting me a little too hard and close tonight.

#really hoping things will finally start to turn around again soon #I've been so depressed this year it's probably the worst I've been in a long time #the worst part is finding a job has been next to impossible and I have no driver's license so I can't leave my house #my bedroom is the attic of my house and I have windows so all I've been able to do for literal months is sit up there in my cave #and just stew in my misery and try and fail to find a way out of it #I've just stopped taking care of myself as the months have gone by too #at least I haven't been doing as well as I was. I never really did a very good job to begin with #I just sit around and try to look at jobs and cry all day and I have to fight myself to drink water or brush my teeth at night or even eat #unless it's breakfast or dinner. that or I actually do eat but tell myself I've been eating too much and stop eating for the day again.#I harsly talk to anyone In real life anymore I just feel like I'm inconveniencing people by being around #I can't sleep without taking melatonin and even then it's hard to sleep and I'm just tired all the time #'Is this the way it will always be' indeed Luke #I'm serious when I say I think I have several undiagnosed mental illnesses only making things worse for me #but who needs therapy when we've got Luke's solo album and Taylor Swift right?#it's me. I know I do. when I can actually manage to find a job (soon please I really need/want 🤞) and can afford it I'll look into it #abby's just rambling don't mind her #abby's having a crisis #goddammit I don't have windows in my room that's what I meant how could I miss the word no 😭

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ame-to-ame · 2 months

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I'm ngl was scared of going to one of my jobs bc i have certain trains of thought that get triggered in familiar places where i had those thoughts before especially when my mind wanders which is especially hard to control when idle/doing menial tasks and I'm not allowed to have music/ electronics so i can't distract myself easily. but work was so good today holy shit. my coworkers seemed happy to see me! i met someone really cool with similar music taste! we yapped for an hour! she told me to visit her in the future! i had a really busy and filled schedule! i get to play with kids! I get to help people! life is good!

#kk rambles #there are some thoughts that suck me into a hole so i just try to not go near them #and that's why it's been so nice to have someone at my doorstep almost every weekend lol #i went thrifting last week w my friend! I'm going to see a gallery this weekend! i have plans to go skating w my friends soon!#my friend has plans to go to a board game cafe w me! one of my friends is trying to get me to go to a con soon!#my friend told me she dreamed of cooking with me and saving my ass from a basketball lmao #i gave my neighbours baked goods and they told me i was welcome over anytime!#i keep imagining myself as a hikkikomori but maybe i also kinda am a 现充? am i making the most out of it? maybe?#the part where Kita was like oh i wanted to invite bocchi but i had plans every week... starting to realize that's... maybe... me..?#i had promised to meet up w a friend but it's been months and i still haven't put it on schedule yet bc life is so busy 😭#i am a ryo/bocchi at heart where I'm ok w being alone/sometimes i think nobody knows me but my masking skills are Kita level #everyone I've gone out with one on one wants to see me again! so there's probably something likeable about me!#I'm ngl being discarded really does shit to your mentality like even when I'm very aware sometimes i realize afterwards #what I'm like is not defined by how others treat me is what i try to tell myself #especially when the majority of people in my life treat me with care and respect and love! people like me!#i just get stuck on the small cases where things don't turn out well but. data analysis wise. we would call those outliers and discard them.#unfortunately the brain is not a computer and as heavily i lean into t vs f i still do feel emotions : D #but it's nice to be able to feel joy and appreciation and to feel really loved by my friends

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oscargender · 6 months

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to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not

#getting floored by transgendered feelings tonight. I went full femme last night in a way that I haven’t in a long time and it really made #it clear that what I enjoy about looking feminine is the ATTENTION. PEOPLE PAY SO MUCH GODDAMN ATTENTION TO PRETTY WOMEN #I will fully admit that I love getting positive attention for my looks irl. Like I’m not really pretty unless I #put a lot of effort into makeup and clothes so getting compliments on my clothes/appearance is like crack cocaine #which is not healthy. I don’t WANT to care about what I look like #but tbh one of the reasons I enjoyed cosplaying so much is that I got all that attentiob without the requisite feminity. Hahaha hhhhhhh #Last night as I was putting myself together for the charity dinner I felt like I was dressing up a doll. FULL out-of-body barbie vibes #I’m so disconnected from feminine feelings right now. But at the same time I had so much fun being pretty and getting compliments #idk. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m so goddamned tired of all this #if I could beam a perfect understanding of gender fluidity into the brains of everyone I meet I would have come out YEARS ago #I just don’t want to be alienated any more than I already am from the people around me #living in the us south means suffering alone in transness I guess.#I don’t want to be the first genderfluid/nonbinary person EVERYONE has ever met. I don’r want to have to justify my existence #but this cannot go on. but I’m afraid of T. I don’t want to go bald 😭#and I still want to wear dresses from time to time #maybe the solution is becoming a lolita lifestyler. dress myself up as a doll every day for the fucking compliments #leave no room for dissatisfaction with feminity. FUCK #I NEED A GENDER THERAPIST WORSE THAN ANYTHING #BUT IT’S THE SOUTH AND THE NEAREST ONE TO ME IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY #AND she’s out of network. FUCK #anyway I watched an episode of the new f*llout show and it was pretty good 😊#AND I’m playing st*rdew valley again on the new update and the update IS SO FUN #<-lil media update to lighten up this post.#this post was typed up not from a place of despair but from a place filled with the same emotions that a dog chasingits owntail experiences #I’m doing well enough mentally that I can deal with my transgender feelings again yknow. maslows heirarchy of needs with m #with transgender feelings at the top #weekend whining

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giverofempathy · 1 year

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hello everyone how have you all been doing 🥹🫶🏻🩷

#salisha speaks #life has been really weird but also good #I feel a lot of peace from being away from here but i wanted to make this post :)#went thru a full mental breakdown identity crisis because i thought i was bisexaul it was a Mess and made me feel rlly weird #but i figured out it was some wave of internalised homophobia and a feeling of needing to fit in #And i realised that i am in fact just a lesbian and thats fine and i dont have to eventually be with a man #I had this belief that the only way i could end up happy was with a man which is just. Untrue #But im glad ive figured it out now :)#And my girlfriend has been so supportive thru all this shes truly the best person on the planet 😭🩷#Anyway yeah thats what has been happening for me!!!#Mutuals how have you all been? I hope youre all well i love you 🩷🩷🩷🩷

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