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pwarkluv · 3 years

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❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js

park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words

WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(

SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!

whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes.

they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks.

but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went.

jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.

the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.

they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).

see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.

but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.

people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside.

❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞

love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least.

jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.

and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.

he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.

if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit.

he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life.

now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.

and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways.

he just wanted to be loved.

jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood.

jisung wanted that, craved that.

but most importantly, the boy wanted love.

❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

everything hurt.

his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.

jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs.

he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.

wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home.

now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in.

the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.

your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind.

jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself.

if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option.

grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.

“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.

“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty.

but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.

“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard.

“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.

the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.

“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.

“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do.

jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him.

“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.

the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.

jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.

you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there. what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.

it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up.

the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.

jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on.

❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞

the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.

if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind.

“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing.

“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window.

jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room.

❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.

“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.

“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention.

isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along.

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madtickler39 · 3 years

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Welcome to Club T’s

One of my fan favorites from the old blog, enjoy:

One could look at Emily and assume her life was perfect A nice home, well off family that was well known in California. Naturally blonde hair, a petite little figure and long legs all around a smile that could turn a man to stone. Going to movie premieres, sports events and mingling with LA bigwigs, Emily was never long without something to do. Oh dont get me wrong, Emily never complained. She loved her family, loved her friends, loved her job. She’d never complain for a second. But still something was missing. That’s why Emily found herself where she was, in a taxi outside a new and mysterious club in downtown LA. She stared at the door for a long time before the driver finally asked “Are you gettin out or what?” Emily came back to reality and paid the driver, and stepped out of her car as confidently as she could. What she couldn't sell her blue dress and black heels could. She walked into the club like it was nobody’s business, and was an instant bombshell to the eligible young men at Club T’s. What made her walk into this particular club that night? Well, to understand that, we have to go back a little bit. Emily had a friend named Stephen, and one time not too long ago Stephen did something she couldn’t get out of her head. He tickled her. It wasn’t her first time being tickled, not by a longshot. For some reason, the feeling she got when he finally stopped kept coming back to her head like a drug, needing to come forward again and refusing any lesser pleasure. She had no trouble finding a man to do anything she wanted, but for some reason this one request proved elusive to her charms. After a brief search on the internet, she found out that club T’s was the place to find what she wanted. It wasn’t easy to find out how to get in, the people she was here to see were very secretive. The main club was just like any other club. The music was too loud, the drinks were too expensive and you couldn’t see or move anywhere. After a few minutes of moving around she found the specific corner that housed the VIP section of the club, she said the codeword to the bouncer, and with a smirk he let her in. It was the look a wolf gives a deer after a day without food, and it unsettled her. Inside, the VIP area was another world. The clothes were different, the lights were a bit brighter, and you could hear yourself over the music. The men were dressed in anything from suits to T-shirts while the girls were wearing some pretty revealing clothing, anything that exposed the belly, shorts, mini skirts and few of them wore heels. They wore colored wristbands, green yellow and red. Green was an open invitation, yellow required an ask, and red meant not to approach. Emily had a yellow wristband, fastened around her ankle like the website advised. There was more seating space than at any normal club here, couches and chairs everywhere. The dance floor had some people, but others were chasing each other around the floor, and in a couch by the corner a man had a captive girl in his lap. Her hands were bound and her feet were in his lap. As he grabbed the toe of her sock, her bound hands came up to her face to conceal her smile and she shook her head. He grinned evilly and slowly pulled the sock off, revealing her bare foot. At the edges of the dance floor were a few suspended cages, each with a girl inside and a person outside sticking a feather duster in. Emily asked the bartender “What’s all that about?” A cute redhead in a black corset said “Those girls work here. The customers pay to use the feather dusters for a time. They can also pay to remove clothing or lower the cages. It breaks the ice for the newcomers. Speaking of, is this your first time?” “Why yes” said Emily looking around. “Is this actually for real?” The bartender, whose nametag read “Sam” said “It sure is. I can lock you in that cage if you’re too nervous to get started on your own?” Emily blushed, and suddenly a voice came from behind her that said smoothly “Sam, hasn’t your boss told you not to mess with the new talent? Or do I have to tickle you for your tips again?” Sam blushed now, and backed towards the liquor shelf nervously. Emily asked the tall, suit clad stranger “What?” He said “Oh you haven’t heard? If you find their service in any way lacking, you have to give them the oppurtunity to get their tips tickled back into them. That’s why she wears a corset, her pits are her worst spot.” She hissed “Damon!” So you weren't kidding on the website” Emily asked. “This really is a tickle club.” Damon said “Oh yes, but if you want to see come by when Sam brings my bottle of Dom. She needs a good tickling to earn her tips back after that hiss…” Sam gulped. She’d done it now. Damon slapped down a 20 and said “Whatever the lady likes is on me.” Sam fixed Emily a drink and grabbed a champagne bottle, but Emily hesitated as Sam left. Sam looked over her shoulder and said “You comin? This is what you wanted right?” Emily finished her liquid courage, and followed Sam to a door labelled “Barefoot Room” Upon entering, Sam said “It’s quite literal, no shoes allowed inside.” Sam quickly kicked off her pumps and went inside, and Emily removed her peep toed heels to join her. “You learn quickly Emily” Damon smiled as he smiled at Emilys little feet as she flexed her toes “Im just amazed” Emily replied blushing as she felt Damon's gaze on her toes “Theres nothing to feel scared about Emily" Damon smiled as he took a sip of his drink. “so tell me what brings you here”” Emily took a deep breath, and then she started “It all started when my friend Stephen tickled my feet a few months ago. It felt...well I guess how a normal person feels being tickled. Sure, the laughing was fun but when it was happening I just wanted him to stop after a few seconds...afterwards I couldn’t get it out of my head. I tried forgetting it, distracting myself. Anytime I was alone with my thoughts, I thought of that sensation and how badly I wanted it back. So I found this place...and here I am.” “And here you are.” Damon said. He saw Emily look down nervously and said “Emily, come sit by me.” She came and sat down next to him hesitantly, and drew her feet behind her knees, where Damon couldn’t see them. It was all she could do not to blush. He asked her “Sam needs to be tickled if she wants her tips from me, where should she be tickled?” “Her underarms” Emily replied without hesitation. Sam shut her eyes and raised her arms, beginning to breathe heavily. She begged “Please be gentle.” Damon looked and raised an eyebrow “you answered that quickly for a newbie; I think we may have a little sadist here. Sam, I think we should let your new friend here do the honors” Emily looked nervous again, and said “You want me to tickle her?” Damon nodded silently and said “If you'd prefer I can tickle her. The whole time you watch her suffer knowing that it's coming for you next…” She was up in an instant, and facing Sam directly. Sam felt her breathe and winced, that gave Emily an inexplicable pleasure. She pounced. Emily dug her nails into Sam’s underarms, and Damon smirked as she screamed. Sam was able to hold her arms up for a few seconds, but within 15 seconds they came down reflexively. Sam laughed like crazy but Emily wouldn't let up. Sam tried to turn away, but Emily kept at it, and pulled Sam closer. The punishment became a wrestling match soon as the girls came to the ground, with Emily straddling her hips. Emily leaned forward and pinned the poor bartender’s wrists over her head and blew on her underarms, which drove sam into a mad fit of giggles. She begged “HEHEHEHE Stop teasing!” Emily couldn't tell you why she said this, but she shouted “This is club tease!” Before she could sink her nails back into Sam’s smooth hollows, Emily burst out laughing “HAHAHAHAHA!” And lost her grip. Sam scrambled out from under her, and went to Damon, who was holding Emily’s ankle, with his other hand gently stroking her sole. She giggled gently with each stroke of his hands. He patted Sam on the butt and said “That’s enough sweetie. Call me when you get off work. For now I have some soft, pretty feet to break in.” This comment made Emily blush, and wiggle her baby blue toes. As Sam walked out of the room and grabbed her shoes, Emily looked down, anticipating the tickling. The tickling was slow, methodical. He was really tickling her brain more than her sole. Reminding her that he could do what he want, control her body against her will. He could make her laugh whenever he pleased. All it took was a foot and a finger. He had the finger, and the foot may as well have been a plaything of his. It was in his grasp and she wasn’t getting it out. Emily remained on all fours(or threes, not counting the foot that belonged to Damon at the moment), and giggled when Damon wanted her to, otherwise she just accepted the breaks and caught her breath. Sometimes she would look back at Damon, nearly melting him with that forced smile. Other times she looked away and tried to just take it. During a break, Damon rubbed her sole with his palm and commented “I see you took the website’s advice and got a pedicure. How recently?” Emily giggled “A couple hours ago hehehe.” she heard Damon inhale deeply and felt his lips rub along her sole now. His lips tickled ever so slightly. She giggled “hehehehe are you smelling my foot?” She read many of the men here also had foot fetishes, but never expected to find herself here tonight… He replied “You used a vanilla scented lotion. It’s my favorite.” “EEP!” She squealed, something had pinched the ball of her foot, and one look back at Damon licking his lips told the whole story. Could she really drive him so crazy with just her feet? This could add some fun to the tickling...but before she could finish that thought, her mind commanded her to laugh again. Emily fell flat on her belly as she felt a warm, wet sensation streak across her arch. She turned her head to the side to release peals of laughter, and started pounding the carpet with her fist. If Damon’s finger was mean, his tongue was just cruel. Emily was at once suffering and feeling an indescribable ecstasy. All she could do to cope was laugh, and between breaths beg “Hahahaha! Stahahahahap!” Emily got herself a momentary respite from Damon’s tongue, but only because he needed it to taunt her. His fingers returned to gently stroking her arches as he taunted “Oh you don’t want this to stop. If you did you’d pull your foot away. Look.” Emily flipped over and saw that his hand was open, only cupping her heel. He tickled with all his fingers slowly, and she reflexively pulled back a few inches, then paused. Emily hesitated a few seconds, it tickled so bad but there was just nothing like it. Her foot slowly slid back into his grip, and his hand closed around her ankle. She gasped, what had she done? Damon taunted “See? I knew you liked it!” And he tickled her sole all over again with his fingers, making her laugh even louder, wondering why she gave her foot to him. He lifted her foot up to his mouth, but there was resistance from her tight little dress. Damon lowered her foot and said “Emily, your dress is lovely but if you want to have more fun, it may be best to change.” Emily blushed again and said “I don't have a change of clothes.” Damon began stroking her instep and commented “Not to worry. There is a private changing room in here with spare clothes, better for our activities.” Damon helped her up, and opened a wall panel that led to a cozy changing room. Emily removed her dress and placed it on a hanger, then found a pair of little pink shorts and a white tshirt to put on. The shirt was awfully short, and only came down to her ribs, leaving her midriff vulnerable. The shorts were quite short, revealing her long tanned legs. She emerged a little sheepishly, but Damon gushed over her, making her blush for the umpteenth time tonight. She came up to the couch where he sat and requested “Where do you want me?” She felt his eyes combing every inch of exposed skin, searching for a spot to make her squeal. She felt uneasy, but exhilarated. Damon grabbed her by the hand and sat her on the couch next to him. He draped her legs over his...and once she breathed out he lobster clawed her knees. Emily shrieked, breaking down in helpless laughter as she tried to sit up and reach his hands. After a few moments of squeezing her legs and knees, Damon began to gently scribble his fingertips all along her thighs and up towards her hips. Emily’s laughter went up in pitch as Damon reached her hips and pinched, and he licked his lips looking at that bare midriff. Damon gave Emily a break to catch her breath, and breathing heavily she sighed “hehehe that was fun.” Damon had an evil smirk on his face, she asked him “What is that look for?” Damon said “I’m going to have that cute tummy of yours next. But I’m going to give you a choice, my tongue or my hands?” Emily’s eyes bugged out, and she couldn’t possibly choose between tortures for a moment. She thought about her feet, and his tongue was much worse there. She answered “Hands.” Damon smirked, had she chosen wrong? What was he playing at? She didn’t have time to think any further as ten fingers began wiggling along her midriff, and her tummy exploded with ticklish sensations. She let out a loud belly laugh, and cursed as her hands wanted nothing more than to seize his and make it stop. Despite this desperate need, her mind would not allow them, making them twitch up and down her sides in a comical fashion. The game changed utterly when Damon managed to wiggle a finger into her navel, making Emily scream like a banshee before breaking down in frantic laughter. She tried to get him off of there, but her hands were swatted away by his free hand. This was almost as bad as her toes, or that tongue! Maybe she should have let him use his tongue after all… After a minute or so of her navel being explored and prodded, Emily couldn’t take anymore. Her begs became more desperate, and Damon heard it in her voice. She cried loudly “Uncle! Hahahahahaha! Please! Mercy! Hahahaha!” Damon stopped rather quickly, but Emily didn’t manage to stop giggling for another minute. He rubbed her belly during this time, and at last she recovered. She propped herself up on her elbows saying “That was wicked...I’ve never felt anything like it before.” Damon smirked, and said “I bet not.” Before they could say anything else, a blonde woman and a brunette with golden brown hair came into the room dancing with each other, kicking their shoes off as they entered. They plopped on the couch opposite Damon and Emily. The blonde said “I told you if we danced Damon would get us a snack!” Emily covered her face nervously as she blushed like a teenager, and would have curled into a ball had Damon not held her knees. The brunette asked “Who’s the tickle toy?” Damon said evenly “Girls, this is Emily. Emily, that is Shay, and Blair. Two tickle slaves of mine, who need to remember what happens when they don’t use their manners.” Damon continued “Emily is new, and I think she has had enough for one night. Blair, why don’t you tie Shay’s arms over her head?” They got to work, enjoying themselves and clearly under the influence a bit. Emily asked “So what, just like that we’re done?” Damon smirked and said “For tonight, after I do one quick thing. If you want another session I’ll see to it that you can contact me. Sit tight.” Damon got up and tested Shay’s bonds, who was standing on her tiptoes in the middle of the room, suspended from a chain. Damon produced two more cuffs and said “Your turn Blair.” She giggled as she assumed position for her restraints. Once they were restrained Damon instructed Emily “Give me your sole” holding his hand out. She placed an ankle in his hand, and he produced a pen. He slowly and painstakingly wrote something on Emily’s sole, but she couldn’t tell. All she could do was laugh and scream until he finished. It felt like an eternity of that ball point pen stroking her arches, but it was bliss for her. When he finally finished, he pecked each of her soles goodnight and she left for the evening. She inspected her sole before putting her shoes back on, and it read Damon’s number and address.

#tickle club #ticklish #ticklish feet #Tickling #ticklee #tickler #club Ts #ticklish belly #belly tickling #Damon the ler

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rosyerim · 4 years

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bad boy au | na jaemin

na jaemin, the notorious playboy of his school

literally flirts his way out of trouble

his english teacher caught his cheating during his test and what did jaemin do? wink and slide the paper up his sleeves

“ah you must be mistaken i would never cheat on a test! esp w a teacher as pretty as you ♥ ~(◠‿◕✿)”

cue the teacher blushin and letting him off and jeno laughing at him getting caught

part of the dreamie squad obviously

the whole group of them are absolute hearthrobs

but jaemin is like the leader ever since mark graduated ot7(╥﹏╥)o

whenever he walks down the hall or into class, guaranteed the students are squealing and highkey blushing

i mean who isn’t, jaemin is a god???

he’s also known for playing around w girls and boys

its never too serious as jaemin always cuts it off when if they say i love you

homeboy isn’t about that committed life

which sucks for the ppl he has a thing with

because he treats them so good

always taking them out on the cutest dates, to the newest cafe, the aquarium, the ice cream shop even simple dates in the park!!

pulling out their chair for them, holding the door open for them all that gentleman ish!!

but they always want more from jaemin

jaemin is known to be affectionate w his own friends but he’s never done any pda with his flings

which confuses them bc??does jaemin like me??

the answer is; no

despite what he says while flirting he rarely means any of it, he just likes the reactions he gets like,

when he compliments them and they turn red

or he holds their hand and they get all shy

but he loses interest in them as quickly as he gets it and is quick to cut it off

which does make him a bit of an asshole in that sense

but he does it in such a nice way they can’t get mad

he also dyes his hair so!!much!!

how hasn’t it fallen out yet!!!

also kind of a stoner

psa; dont do drugs kids if ur underage!! this is just an au!!!

he likes to get faded behind the abandoned carnival the dreamies have dubbed as their hangout

its rlly just a closed down amusement park thats rlly old and they just spray painted DREAM on everything they could find but the dreamies love the eerie feeling they get in ther and like to pretend they own it

AND theirs no cops around so they can do what they like

which usually means getting crossfaded or having the occasional bonfire/party but most of the time they just get a truckload of candy and challenge each other on pokemon w their nintendos lol

he also likes the feeling of his surroundings being numb and always ends up falling asleep after he finishes a blunt

which leaves a sleepy and clingy jaemin stuck w the rest of the dreamies

jaemin doesn’t let himself smoke around his flings as he doesn’t trust them nearly as much as his boys

lowkey has trust issues

but once he gets his daily dose of coffee, like 3000 shots of espresso he is A W A K E

the dreamies are the worst for almost getting in trouble

when it gets dark they usually hop on their bikes, grab two bottles of spray paint each, and go on into their neighbourhood, whilst playing obnixous dubstep from their speakers

and cause total chaos

they always leave dogs barking and house lights turning on in their wake as they cycle like mad men down the empty streets, streaking the road with luminous pinks and greens

they get the biggest thrill out of being chased by the local police

whenever the hear the telltale siren they all whoop and laugh in unison, shouting out bets on who will get caught first chenle and who’ll get back to the hangout first renjun

it’s dangerous but they get a real kick out of it and always make sure to tweet about and post it on ig

overall jaemin is jus your average bad boy who likes causing havoc

but who doesn’t like havoc??

you, my dear reader :))

you had just moved house and into a completely new neighborhood

it was your fifth day in your new home and you missed your old area a lottt

and you were highkey bitter bc you didn’t want to move but your parents made you >:((

so sunday night rolls around and you were chilling in bed, watching some dumb yt video when all of sudden in the distance you heard,,,thumping,,,

like really ugly but rhythmic thumping,,,

and it was getting louder and closer to your house

so you being all investigative, throw on your hoodie and waddle on downstairs and open your front door, the porch light turning on automatically

and what you saw was a sight

there were a group of boys cycling up and down your street, attempting to do tricks like wheelies???and shit

but as they did their tricks they were spraying the ground so they left a lot of squiggly lines as they turned and jumped

you didn’t mind that, you thought it was actually kind of pretty

but what wasn’t pretty was that hideous music

you were pretty sure they were playing that im blue dabdeeda song but a dubstepped remix version

and god it was awful

but you kinda assumed they must have gona tone deaf bc they were screeching the lyrics to the tops of the voices and one tall kid was trying to freestyle to it

yeah, they were a sight

you noticed none of the neighours had come outside which meant this was a normal occurrence??

oh no, you were not having this

without a second thought you shoved your feet into your uggs by the door and stomped your little butt over to the group of screaming boys

one of the boys who was on his phone on his bike, noticed you storming towards them and quickly hit another guy next to him and so on

until all their attention was on you

all six of them

if it were your old neighbourhood you would have been flustered at their attention on you and they were good looking and you were wearing an,,,odd attire

but you didn’t care

once you reached them you just crossed your arms

“whose playing the music?”

they kinda looked at you as if you spoke another language

until you arched an eyebrow and the tall kid from earlier raised his hand, holding his phone

“uh,,, i am,,, i’m jisung,,,”

you marched over to him and swiped his phone, ignoring the laughing from one of the boys, scrolling thru his horrible choice of songs

then one of them tapped you on ur shoulder

“so like,,who are you? whats your deal sis?”

you noted he had quite an ugly bowlcut that was also bright red and you just rolled your eyes, before typing in a decent song in jisungs phone

another kid stepped forward and tried to look menacing as he stood up slightly taller in front of you

“like haechan asked,,what’s your deal? do you know who we are?”

you scoffed and clicked on the song, feeling satisfied as frank oceans song ivy played through the speaker

“frankly i don’t care who you guys are but your taste in music is shit and you all sound obnoxious”

homeboy who tried to seem tough was lowkey shook

and haechan just laughed really sarcastically

“our music taste is shit? your outfit is a mess”

your outfit was literally a large hoodie and uggs but like??your mom bought them and u liked them!!

“my mess of an outfit is worth more than that tragic cheap dye job you got ontop of your scalp smh”

haechan just gaped at you while the boys tried to hide their snickers

you were about to leave before another one of them stepped forward, stretching out his hand

“yo you’re kinda funny, i’m renjun!”

u just stared at his hand

“yeah cool i dont care, bye”

ohhhh cold

you had stalked off from them ignroing their oooo savages behind you, ready to slip back into bed highkey proud of yourself

BUT

not so fast

suddenly your met with a really smiley face with pink hair

he grabs your hand and kisses the back of it giving you his usual, heart stopping smile

“i don’t think i’ve seen you before...i’m jaemin and its very nice to meet you (◕‿-)“

but you are not liking his large ass smile

you rip your hand back and just arch your eyebrow again at him

“are you all actually deaf? I am y/n, and I do not care! goodnight!”

and off you storm, this time actually making it to your door

you spare one more glance at them as you’re closing it

and the group are almost crying bc they’re laughing so hard at jaemin whose looking over at you

and he just winks at as u slam the door shut

damn reader, ur wildt

once you’re back in your room you hear the group disappearing down the street, smiling as you hear frank ocean’s voice float away slowly

you peak out your window to see if they’re all gone but what you see leaves your mouth gaping

there in a mix of luminous pink and greens, spelled out in capitals is

TILL NEXT TIME Y/N ♥

there was gona b a next time??? oh no poor you ;)

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct imagines #nct au #jaemin imagines #jaemin scenarios #nct headcanons #jaemin headcanons

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

strawberry milk & watermelon seeds

How to get through the worst summer heat: have a sweet drink, eat a sweet fruit, and have someone with the sweetest kiss around.

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warning: fluff, cursing, one year later rewrite

word count: 2,855

a/n: so today is my one year anniversary of this blog. it’s been a rather weird and unknowing journey that I still cannot comprehend or put into words as to how this has changed me. one year later and I still love todoroki shouto the most, one year later and im still as invested into bnha as the day I first watched it. wild. anyways, thank you for watching my growth as a writer, and thank you for 14k followers in this single year. anyways, if you want to read the original to compare, here it is.

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“This day can not be any worse.”

With your sweating forearm thrown over your face, and the heat emitting from your face scorching your skin, your clammy skin provided small comfort from the overwhelming heat. Today, according to every news outlet in Japan, it was the hottest day recorded ever. At first, you didn’t believe it; your condo had cooled to near completion with your AC unit running happily in the background. You had spent your day free from work, merrily doing house chores while watching your old classmates text message thread blowing up with complaints about how torturous it was to be outside in this heat. (Even Bakugou who enjoyed hot weather because it benefitted his quirk was ready to go home and get into an ice bath.) That is, you were merry until your power went out.

“I thought you would be happy that you aren’t working right now?”

Ignoring the sweat the slowly pooled down your neck, you turned your head to look at your phone that stood against a stack of books. On the bright screen was Todoroki Shouto, who was wearing a shirt and a jacket despite the heat of the weather. Curse his fucking quirk.

“It was a happy day until the power blew, and I was told that the power wouldn’t be back on until night!” you whined, fingers pressing to your forehead to wipe the annoying sweat on your face. “Now I’m miserable at home, it’s hotter than balls, I have no snacks, and I am not going outside like this!”

You lifted your legs off the couch, shuddering at your sweating thighs sticking to the material. This was the worst.

“I can come over in a bit; it’ll take me about twenty minutes.” Shouto hummed, his left wrist rising as he looked at his watch. His face had a small smile painted on; it was a new look he was trying as he had stated earlier. As part of being a hero that reassured everyone he rescued, he was working on his smile.

While you would never complain about seeing a kind smile on Shouto’s face, it didn’t help your hammering heart when he looked at you with it.

“What?!” you exclaimed a bit frantically, your hand snatching your phone on the table while sitting up on the couch. Your flustered face a bit too close to the camera while you watched Shouto stand up from his seat and gather his things without minding your attempts to have him not come over.

The thought of being horrendously sweaty around your crush was not something you wanted to do.

“Do you like strawberry milk?” Shouto asked you, his head tilting to the side. At the same time, he picked up his phone, leveling the camera, so it angled below his chin (and you immediately noticed that even with the awkward angle, he was still unfairly hot). “There’s a store on the way to your place that I like.”

A strange noise that crossed between a whine and a sigh emitted past your lips when his eyes locked on yours in question. It seemed that you didn’t have much of a choice.

“I love strawberry milk,” you begrudgingly admitted, watching with heating cheeks as Shouto’s face spread into a bigger, more full, and genuine smile.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit then. Bye.”

You couldn’t say goodbye back, your finger immediately hanging up on him and your body shaking in your nerves. For right now, you couldn’t tell why you felt overheated: the record temperature or the smile that made your heart stop.

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If your mother could see how you cleaned your home in the twenty minutes it took Shouto to get to your place, she would cry in joy. In fifteen minutes, you had swept, mopped, and cleared the countertops of the slight messes they had been and quickly bolted upstairs to change into something less sweaty while reapplying perfume and deodorant because you would not make a fool of yourself.

“You look like a mess,” Shouto called out immediately as he stood at your front door. Despite his introduction, his hands lifted in front of him, and he showcased the bag of snacks and tea he brought.

Despite the initial feeling of wonder at opening the door to see him standing there in all his glory, his words' sudden bluntness immediately made your eyes narrow.

“I don’t come to your house uninvited and roast your appearance,” you scoff, turning on your heel and letting him in.

“Oh, was I not invited? I assumed I was allowed to come over, sorry,” Shouto’s voice followed after you, but it did nothing to keep him from staying. The two of you had grown incredibly close as friends. It was without question that he was allowed over whenever he wished, a detail that had taken quite a while for Shouto to accept.

“I wouldn’t’ve opened the door if you weren’t,” you sigh, your hands fanning the back of your neck as Shouto placed his guest slippers on and walked over. He put the bag onto the kitchen counter before walking over to you, taking your hands and pressing his right hand to the nape of your neck.

“Just making sure,” he said softly, his eyes meeting yours in a careful gaze before his hand dropped in temperature. For the first time since your AC broke down, a shiver went through your spine.

You had no idea whether it was from the sudden loss of heat from your body or his gentle yet strangely warm touch. But with the loss of being overheated and reaching a better point of homeostasis, you realized that you had been wordlessly staring into his eyes. Falling deep into the blue and grey, drowning in the way they bore into you gently, intently.

“So, uh, what else did you bring me besides your stupidly advantageous quirk?” you asked, your mouth feeling unbelievably parched. At the same time, Shouto’s fingers slowly pulled away from your skin, leaving behind nothing but an exploding heart and raised skin.

To that comment, Shouto’s eyebrow lifted, and his lip quirked a bit too, a teasing look on his face while the two of you began to walk to the bag he had brought. He grabbed the bag before you, bringing it close to his chest as if to keep it from you.

“Sounds like you’re using me for my quirk, y/l/n. That wouldn’t be very heroic of you.”

“I’m off duty, I can be an asshole,” was your quick response, your heart beating faster at the chuckle that rumbled deep in his chest as he untied the bag. His eyes rose to yours, inquisitive and teasing, and an eyebrow raised.

Shouto seemed to debate whether he should say something or not, your locked stares never wavering. But before you could question what was running through his head, he pulled out the items from the bag. Your jaw dropped in your sheer love for what he brought you: two sealed cups of strawberry milk, half of a watermelon with two scoops, and an arrangement of other snacks you loved. There was nothing he could do to stop you from scooping up your nacks in your arms, tears misting your eyes because, at this moment, your lousy day had become good again.

“I hope you still like all these snacks, you always used to talk about them,” Shouto rubs the back of his neck, his gaze falling onto the sweet pink drinks before him. He grabbed the straws and punctured the drinks for both of you, and you looked at him with a smile of pure joy and disbelief.

“This is perfect, Todoroki, really! I love this so much!”

Maybe if you had been looking at Shouto and not at the bags of snacks he had bought for you, you would have seen the flush color climbing the back of his neck.

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It had taken Shouto precisely two seconds to bring your condo back to a habitable environment, a feat that had you quite literally jumping into his arms in your excitement. But in your sudden burst of emotional energy, Shouto had been taken back so abruptly by your arms thrown around him that he had iced over your entire living room. Both of you had stared at the iced room with shocked gazes, and while he looked on in horror, your face split into a shit-eating grin.

So despite his initial decision to defrost the entire room, you said it was fine. Grabbing the frozen watermelon (you had to tear the melon and the two scoops off the counter as it had also been frozen, not to mention you almost ate shit if not for Shouto easily catching you) the two of you retreated to your shaded patio, sitting on the brick and tasting the sweet melon while idly chatting between the both of you.

“You got the watermelon with the seeds!” you laughed loudly, letting the small black seed fall from your bottom lip and onto your await palm. “We have transgressed the need for watermelon with seeds! Have you never gotten seedless watermelon?!”

Shouto shoved you with his shoulder, his face grimacing a bit when a rather sharp crunch came from his mouth. Your laughter growing louder when a fractured watermelon seed fell from his tongue.

“The sign said it was seedless, besides it takes two seconds to get the seeds out, stop complaining.” Shouto groaned, placing the seed onto the pile the two of you had created. You had been taking a drink of the sweet milk as he said this, and his smile grew into a crooked grin at the sight of your eyes widening with the need to speak.

Tearing the cup from your mouth, you swallowed the liquid quickly before jabbing a finger into his shoulder, “Tell that to my face after I accidentally swallow a seed and a watermelon grows in my stomach!”

“The day that happens, I will personally let you dress me up in Endeavor merch.” Shouto wagers, his eyes watching as you scooped out a bit of the watermelon and shoving it into your mouth. You contemplated his words, thinking about the horrendous merch his father had and the humiliation he would have if he had to wear it.

Your teeth bit onto a black seed, and instead of politely removing it from your mouth as you had been doing, you turned your head toward the fence and spat out the watermelon seed.

“Oh, that’s tempting!” you sing out, your fingertips dancing against each other, a very comically villainous sight.

Shouto scoffed, his head shaking as he chewed his own watermelon before spitting out his own seed. You watched it soar through the air before falling somewhere near where your seed landed. Ever the competitor, your head tilted, trying not to take it personally as Shouto finally spoke.

“Is it? Well, we both know it’s impossible.”

You shake your head at his true remark, your mouth once again full of watermelon, and you concentrated on the two black dots on the grass. Rolling your shoulders, you spit the seed sitting on your tongue, and you refrained from sounding too victorious when your seed was now the furthest one out. So with the calmness of a child who had done something terrible and was attempting to not be caught, you turned to Shouto with a wink.

“Nothing is impossible!”

Shrugging, Shouto took another mouthful of the watermelon before sending a seed flying, landing what seemed like a centimeter further than yours. Your eyes narrowed at the taunting victory.

“Oh, but some things are,” it felt like he whispered that in your ear, and you turned onto him. Your fiery glare matching his while he took yet another bite of the watermelon. He did it without breaking his gaze with you, and an astounding grin spread on your face at the pure childishness of this all.

“...are you… are you challenging me?!” you accused, your eyebrows shooting to your hairline and your finger connecting with his nose.

Shouto smirked, his face turning back to the grass, and he spat out the seed, sending it much further than it had gone before.

“No. Not at all,” he said smoothly, his sight coming back to you, and as if to rub in the salt, he added, “We both know who’ll win.”

So, under the blazing hot sun, both you and Shouto sat with sticky sweet watermelon juice dribbling down your chin and black seeds soaring as far as they could go to only pathetically landing on laps. Slandering words were thrown about, but the echoing laughter told anyone who tried to overhear just how unserious this entire predicament was.

Your fingers wiped at the bottom of your chin again while tears streamed down your face from the laughter. Shouto was in a similar position, his head leaning against yours as three black seeds failed to leave his mouth and chose to stick onto his chin.

“Imma - holy shit STOP - Imma fucking pee my pants!” you wheezed, trying to focus on anything that wasn’t Shouto right now. “You look so dumb right now!”

“Your insults mean nothing to me because you’re jealous I’m winning,” Shouto forced out, his voice wavering with his own laughter and fleeing concentration.

“Only because YOU CHEATED!” you exclaimed, your fists weakly pounding onto his arm. “Who the hell burns a watermelon seed flying in the air if not to keep me from winning?!”

“Because you took five steps closer! That’s cheating!” Shouto pointed out, the back of his hand, wiping the sheen of watermelon juice and seeds from his chin.

“Whatever, I’ll end this all right now!” you rolled your eyes, and the both of you directed your attention to the nearly empty watermelon. Almost empty, save for one part that would be enough for one last scoop.

“That’s the last of the watermelon…” Shouto spoke softly, his hand grabbing his spoon the same time you did.

“Yeah, and?” you pressed, your gaze narrowing as he lifted his spoon, moving it to push against yours.

“You were the last one to spit,” he said, trying to box you out of the melon.

Your jaw dropped, and you pressed against his again, trying to keep him from doing as he pleased. “I called it first!”

“You can’t go twice!” he pointed out, his hand wrapping around your free wrist to keep you from potentially hitting him with that arm.

“You went twice earlier!” you countered, pushing forward, leaning on with all your weight in hopes he would back off. You had to win.

“I’m the guest at your house, be better accommodating!”

Push.

“Oh yeah?! Well, ladies, first!”

Shove.

“Clearly, I am acting more ladylike right now, so it’s not you!”

But in an unequal push, you sent Shouto and you tumbling off the patio and onto the floor with a thud. Your eyes were squeezed tight as the earthy ground made contact with your back, and you sighed, knowing you hadn’t been hurt. You saw the watermelon on the floor, the last scoop of the sweet fruit ruined with dirt and grass, but you froze when you became aware of the way Shouto had landed.

His forearms were planted onto the ground by your head, his eyes wide and his mouth parted slightly. His warm and minty scent easily carried into your nose like this, and the smell of the strawberry milk still clung to his lips. Immediately your face exploded in heat, and your sight went dizzy in the situation you were in.

“...the watermelon… um, you dropped the watermelon, Todoroki,” you painfully whispered, unsure if speaking would send him away from you, acting like this didn’t just happen.

Your beating heart was loud in your ears, almost washing out the summer day's sounds as Shouto studied you carefully before turning his head to look at the indeed ruined watermelon. Still, he made no attempt to move off from on top of you.

“We can go buy some more in a bit.”

“I… but Todoroki--” you almost shuddered, unsure as to why that simple sentence ignited something profound from within you.

“Don’t-” Shouto interrupted, his brow furrowed, and his eyes dark while he looked down. Shaking his head, your breathing stopped when his eyes met yours. There was no hesitation, no doubt, and something you never knew you would see in his eyes: adoration. “Shouto. Call me, Shouto.”

“Shouto…” you breathed out, the sound of his name on your tongue foreign yet otherworldly pleasant.

And his eyes warmed at the sound of his name, and you could do nothing when his sugary sweet lips connected with yours, pressing thoroughly and gently against yours. Today had been a mix of goods and bads. Still, the moment his lips claimed yours, everything in the world quickly faded away. There was nothing to focus on except Todoroki Shouto and the way that you would forever crave the way his tongue and kisses tasted like strawberry milk and watermelon seeds.

#todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #mha

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reversecreek · 4 years

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clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!!

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how.

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

#irvingintro #abuse tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #anxiety tw #violence tw #DOES A LITTLE JIG #admittedly i didnt include a formative moments section like my other intros bc idk what kind of superpowers i was inhaling the fumes of #for those intros but #i'm a mere mortal now.

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

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Kuroo w/a confident + active S/O

@onedayiwillcreatecoolernickname asked: im a confident person, whats visible both in my looks and personality. i love standing out of the crowd, so wearing extravagant clothes and crazy hair colors is something that im well known of. but i dont have a particular aesthetic, so my clothing style is various (grunge, pastel, boho, sexy, vintage, tomboy; basically everything). even though im 170 cm tall, i like wearing high heels a lot and tbh, it doesn't make me feel awkward or insecure when i'm being taller than some boys. i often end up as a leader of the group and i think im a good one, because i have almost all the required qualities (creative patient helpful observant talkative), and every project that i take a part in is successful, so. but talking sbout ppl; i love taking care of them so much, seriously. youre cold? here, take my jacket. its getting dark already? dont worry, ill take you home. youre feeling anxious? lets talk and ill try my best to make u feel at ease. you need a hug? come here bby. as much as i enjoy discussing with other ppl, learning about their beliefs and exchanging my opinions with them, i also appreciate it a lot when we can be silent with each other, doing totally different things. but still, im happy the most when i have someone with whom i can have a deep conversation, because im not really into small talk. i need stimulation, the feeling that im constantly learning something new about everything. im just so fascinated and in love with the world haha. and maybe some facts about me. im cuddly and affectionate af with people that i like (and bcs of that other ppl that i must be in relationship with my friends, but its all platonic gay i swear). im ticlish and in general, touch-sensetive af. i identify as pansexual. i have 0 male friends, mostly because of my past bad experience with boys (bullying etc), but also because in my environment theres a lot more girls, so yeah. at home i often wear shorts and tshirts, because im quite hot ; ) im really into personal development and psychology, because people and their minds fascinate me and id want to know them better. i love learning new languages (im fluent in polish & english, less advanced in spanish and russian, but im still learning), writing both my own stories and letters, i also draw a little and i think im quite good at it. volleyball is definitely my favourite sport, but i enjoy running, cycling and matrial arts too.

A/N: Last of my matchup requests! Hope you enjoy 💖

Your matchup is

Kuroo Tetsurou

Loves that you are super confident + self-reassured. You know what you’re capable of and not afraid to assert that you’re good at what you do (he finds your confidence super attractive)

Another thing Kuroo loves about you is your undending curiousity - he loves that you always want to learn something new

Would totally flirt with you by texting/telling you fun facts about science or anything else - would pay attention to whatever you are interested at the moment and then go home and research fun facts to share with you

Enjoys studying together with you - he likes that you try to find meaning in what you’re learning + apply it outside of how to score well on exams

Studying together is something you look forward to because the two of you just being with each other - you don’t necessarily have to go out on a “formal” date to spend time with him.

You just enjoy having his presence around - since you appreciate + value silence I feel like a lot of times you would just lounge around in the house and not really do much

That being said - you are both people who like to have things to do most of the time - so he makes the effort to take you out on regular dates

You guys probably love going to museums + different exhibitions/galleries around the city since you both enjoy learning more about the world

Aquarium dates??? YES.

I feel like Kuroo loves your sense of fashion/style and would love to try to coordinate outfits to match or pair well with each other. If you want he would be down to have you style him for the day

Would understand if you were uncomfortable around his friends/team at first - but hopes that you will eventually be able to get along with them

If you are open to hanging out with/socializing with the boys’ volleyballl team he’ll be really aware of the situation/atmosphere and make sure that you aren’t uncomfortable

If you get close with the team,yYou two probably co-parent his volleyball team - you’re probably the unofficial manager/mom of the team (sorry yaku)

Will often hold study/review sessions for his team and you always seem to have plenty of their favorite snacks/foods

Vice versa I think Kuroo would put forth a genuine effort to get to know your friends - he is big on reciprocation and really appreciates how much time you spend getting to know his friends

Wouldn’t mind sitting with your group of friends during lunch and chatting with them - if your group of friends doesn’t mind + he isn’t intruding he’d be happy to hang out with you all on the weeekends

If you’re interested in learning Japanese he’d be more than happy to help whenever you need it.

You’re good at getting a grasp on the basics but helps with the more complex stuff + stuff that is related to culture/history + idioms or sayings that don’t make sense when translated literally

Probably asks you to teach him English/Polish or you two decide to learn a new language together.

Kuroo definitely is very physically affectionate (aka. Look at my cuddling hcs for him) but isn’t the biggest on PDA

He prefers just having some kind of physical contact with you - like holding your hand, arm around your waist/shoulder - occasional kisses on the cheek/pecks on the lips but nothing over the top

Would love it if you play volleyball casually with him - maybe a group of your friends + his friends together could spend a day on the beach playing volleyball together

I feel like the two of you would be a couple that likes to work out together/try new things together

Morning runs together are fun - it gives you the extra motivation + it’s a nice way to spend some time with Kuroo

#kuroo x reader #Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #nekoma

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whaticannotshowyou · 4 years

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(this is, i think, the anon talking about permanent changes?? and fuck me for not saving what i was writing but the first half was essentially that i couldnt stop thinking about modern au geralt and jask in an m/s relationship, that geralt continued to slowly push beyond jaskier’s limits, so slowly that he didn’t think to question it- he wouldnt want to upset geralt and generally goes along with whatever he asks, whatever it is and whether or not he wants it..)

im thinking abt stuff like a permanent chastity cage w a catheter, getting teeth removed to suck dick better, all very Permanent things. it ends with him living in geralts secluded ass house in the woods 24/7 and essentially never leaving. he just becomes a toy that geralt owns n it all happened without jaskier necessarily wanting it or realizing thats what geralt was planning to do with him from the start. (2/2)

Okay okay so. I’ve been absolutely obsessed with this ever since I got it (SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY) and I just have to applaud you anon for literally having a rent free place in my brain for the past weeks. But I really like the concept, Geralt getting this absolutely stunning sub and starting a relationship with Jaskier, the guy a little too vanilla for his taste but... he can work on that.

They start with just the normal stuff; bondage, light painplay, some humiliation. It’s all things Jaskier can deal with. Sure, he isn’t the biggest fan of it all, not by any means, but he loves Geralt so much and is willing to try it out for him. Outside of play, Geralt is absolutely wonderful. He tells Jaskier he’s the best boy ever, holds him close and praises him for every single thing he went along with for his sake and Jaskier can’t help but crave the affection, agreeing to more and more things just to get that sweet praise and love from his boyfriend. It makes Geralt go down a darker route, cravings of his own surfacing as he hears his sub promise he will do anything for him.

They do some chastity, a little sounding, toys of increasing size, Jaskier wearing a plug in public, several hours of bondage. They transition into a free-use agreement, Geralt allowed to bend him over at any point of the day and have him, sometimes dragging him away in public to fuck him hard in a bathroom or some deserted hallway. The marks get increasingly more obvious, bitemarks and hickeys almost impossible to hide under clothes and Jaskier starts spending more time at home just to avoid the questions. He never thinks of asking Geralt to stop, loves how he is goowing with adoration with how good his sub is for him.

Eventually it’s been over a year and things have spiralled. What started as Jaskier avoiding social gatherings to not awake suspicion turns into him quitting his job and solely relying on Geralt. He soends more time in their playroom than anywhere else, just held open on toys and bound to the bed or wall until Geralt finds the time to use him. His two/three days in chastity for that added desperation is now permanent, his cock shrivelled up and tightly confined in a too small cage with a catheter allowing Geralt to decide when his bodily functions matter. They don’t care to let him walk around much, his legs weak and useless as he is tied up and carried around if needed.

Things gets even more out of hand when Geralt gives him a proper piercing through his cock, a few long rods going across his length to ensure the cage is not coming off without severe damage or his key. He makes a deal out of having Jaskier dispose of the key, smiles warmly and kisses his forehead as the sub happily throws it into the lake by the house. Maybe he even melts down some metal into the lock, ensuring it wont even be picked open. During a session one of Jaskier’s teeth fall out from a particularly heavy blow and Geralt praises him for it, offering he takes the rest out so he can please his cock fully. Jaskier doesn’t even think about it before nodding, his front row of teeth pulled out by the end of the day.

Who knows, Geralt might even do some good ol’ amputation on him. The slut doesn’t need his limbs anyway, just his holes ready to be fucked whenever Geralt wants to. He is just a little doll by now, unable to move around and thus negating any need for restraints. Even if he came to his right mind, Jaskier would never be able to escape now, just forever Geralt’s sweet little fucktoy that will never be the same ever again.

As an addition I do like to think Jaskier at some point realises what has been going on, how far Geralt have made him go. Either by himself, maybe remembering their first days together and then just fucking rioting when he can’t even speak properly, can’t move, can’t even piss on his own.

Or, even better, Geralt one day just carries him so he’s in front of a mirror, finally allowed to have his blondfold remived and he is just seeing what his life has become. Geralt’s cock inside of him, warming him up as Jaskier gasps for breath at his own mirrored image. He screams, struggles and protests, but there is nothing he can do as Geralt grabs his waist and fucks him hard, using him like a fleshlight on his hard cock and laughing at his attempts to come free. He tells him it has been his plan since the very start, that he knew he could break down Jaskier’s defence and make him into the perfect doll he always wanted. He recalls all those little tricks he used, how eager the man was to please him despite going far past his limits. He slaps his caged cock and reminds him the key is gone forever, the lock wielded shut. He can’t even release his bladder without Geralt’s permission. He holds his mouth open wide so he can see his missing teeth, can see just how absolutely messed up he has become. He let’s Jaskier go as he comes deeply within him, laughing mockingly as he struggles on the floor without his limbs.

Geralt crouches down next to him, smiling that heart melting smile and pets his hair so, so gently. “No one will ever want you like this, Jaskier, you do realise that? You’re just my little fleshlight to use whenever I want. You’re ruined. You are barely human. You’re mine, right?”

And all Jaskier can do is nod.

#answer #nc #tw #gr #misc #mc #au

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loudmouthcd · 4 years

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introducing . . MALI CHUSUK . CIS WOMAN . 21 YEARS OLD . HEALTH AND SPORTS SCIENCE MAJOR . GIRLS SOCCER TEAM CAPTAIN .

hello hello !! im so excited to be here ! my name is g , and u can find me on my musings blog @ pocmuzings if u ever want to hmu ! i’m 23 and in the aest timezone , so ill be on at pretty random hours between working my 9-5 ! i’m a cis woman , and use she / her pronouns . i’m a proud brown beautiful woman ( im indian ) ! if u would like my discord , feel free to ask ! i’m a horror movie enthusiast , and would d*e for any poc in the entire world . .

i’m currently trying to figure out where the heck my sidebar links have gone on this theme . . so pls Bear with me fkjnfnjkfj . ( help . . help . . they’re in the theme preview idk what i did )

here’s mali , she’s a muse i’ve always wanted to play but never been able to !

inspiration for her is mandy milkovich from shameless , rosa diaz from b99 , rebeca from elite , kiara from outer banks and viola from shes the man

mali was raised in a house filled with boys , and her father was quite strict and determined . her relationship with her father has never been very personal, but more so almost like a business deal , or like a coach and his student

mali was quite active as a child , and quite energetic . she was always running around and bouncing off walls - it drove her father wild because he could never make her sit still , whilst also trying to raise her older brothers at the same time

because of this , mali kinda took to her own devices . she was introduced to soccer at school , and that was her first love . she found herself playing it at every lunch break , or rolling the ball under the desk during class time . it helped with her jitteriness

it took a year or two before her father realised that she was quite keen on soccer , and she was good at it - and he was overjoyed at the talent she had when it came to playing . she was a strong striker and attacker , but she was also quite aggressive and competitive on the field . she didn’t really have much etiquette when it came to the game , and she would play dirty at times . this . . only made her father even happier . suddenly he went from barely noticing her , to being at every soccer practice and game she had . he bought her the best soccer cleats he could afford , and pushed for her to win every game and score as many goals as possible . he went from not being very invested in mali , as the only girl in the family ( he didn’t know what to do with a girl ) , to being her number one fan

at first it was great . . but then . . her father got a little overbearing and controlling. if she didn’t make a shot , she could feel his disappointment radiating from a mile away . if she allowed someone to trip or foul her , her father would berate her in the car for not having been more intuitive . her father pushed her to be more and more competitive and the best she could be . mali still thoroughly loved soccer , but she started to find it slightly draining .

whenever she had a second of time outside of studying , her father would be making her run drills or shoot goals in the backyard . she never really got a lot of time to be by herself or do stuff she wanted ( like just normal teenage girl stuff . . getting crushes on people , going to house parties , having her first beer . . )

mali has spent majority of her time either with her brothers and her father ( the entire house is pure chaos . messy . loud burping . video games . yelling across rooms to each other . there’s constant noise at all hours of the day ) , or hanging out with her fellow soccer team players ( sometimes they got along with mali , sometimes they saw her as too much of a ball hog or taking the game ‘ too seriously ‘ ) . mali hasn’t really had a chance to develop many friendships outside of this , and it’s beginning to really effect her

mali has decided to take somewhat of a step back from soccer ( and the competitiveness of it ) , but she’s also not telling her father about that . mali misses having FUN with playing , instead of seeing it as a sport and chore .

she also wants to have the full college experience . her entire first year was dedicated to soccer and getting used to college and living out of home for the first time . this new independency is fantastic , but mali has no idea what to do with it . she wants to live . really live . really get the full experience .

mali really wants to be more ‘ feminine ‘ . she wants to know how to do boss eyeliner , and wear pretty dresses with heels . at the moment , her wardrobe consists of baggy sweaters , ripped jeans , and a lot of sweatpants . she finds woman to be so so beautiful . . but looks at herself and sees a Gremlin . . oh to be a Woman . . wow . .

mali can be described as . . . very very blunt and loudmouthed . a bi disaster . chaotic and messy . competitive and driven , but also very blasé and careless at times ( reckless may be a better word ) . she’s very spontaneous , and always up for literally anything ( if u wanna get a burrito at 2am , mali will come . if you want to roadtrip across the state , mali will ride shotgun . she never says no )

mali is very sick of being seen as ‘ one of the dudes ‘ or ‘ one of the guys ‘ , she especially wants to be making more female friends and have more females in her life , because . . she’s literally never had many that weren’t on the soccer team with her , or her own competition !

connections ( but also pls i will fill any connection u WANT )

trainwreck meet trainwreck : give me two disaster bastards ! together they are absolute chaos ! they are very similair in that they are both abrasive and intense and very high energy . they usually will encourage each others bad behaviours or be somewhat of a bad influence to each other

‘ one of the boys ‘ : give me a male friend who literally sees mali as another one of the guys . it irks mali sometimes and she has to remind them , hey . . im a girl too , and they’re always like ‘ yeah but ur not a GIRL girl ‘ , and that lowkey grinds her gears . SHE WANTS TO BE A GIRL GIRL

soft females : please . . my god . . give me the softest sweetest gal to mali’s absolute demonic energy

soccer players : 100000% believe mali has challenged ur character to an impromptu game of soccer at one point . it doesn’t matter if ur not in the same league or team as mali . if u play soccer for even one second , she will want to size u up and try Beat u at it .

childhood friends : i ain’t never seen two pretty childhood friends . . no i’m kidding , but i do love childhood friends so SO much

ride or die : I LOVE RIDE OR DIES . GIVE ME TWO PEOPLE WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR EACH OTHER AT ANY TIME . THEY’D DROP ENTIRE WORLDS FOR EACH OTHER

siblings but not by blood : they bicker , they rant , they get frustrated . . but they always always come back to each other . they can call each other an asshole then text each other ten mins later and be like ‘ taco bell ? :) ‘ dskjnfdnjk

watch it , bitch : mali is . . a Lot . she’s very intense and loud , and she has no manners . she’s very competitive and aggressive at times and i completely understand why that isnt everyones cup of tea ! lets get some negative connections up in here !

bi bi bi : give me hookups . past . present .emerging . future . let mali be a hoe , she deserves it . she deserves the college experience

party in the usa : whos gonna introduce mali to alcohol n partying and having a Wild As Heck night ?

outer banks : pls pls pls pls PLEASE give me an outer banks - esque squad . total idiots . absolute morons .. there’s not a single brain cell between them . .

mali , you look like shit : please teach her how to not wear the same sweatshirt 10 days in a row . pls clean her up . pls show her how to be Pretty . make her over . . . i beg of u . .

older sister : honestly kinda like the above plot but i’d love for a Wise Woman to just . . be a mentor and guide to mali and be an amazing friend to her

GIRL SQUAD : i literally love female friendships so muhc . . its smth that can be so personal . . but really my god . give me and mali a bunch of females in her life , shes never really had that before and she Deserves it

pain in my ass : they both irritate each other endlessly . they’re both too similair , maybe ,and that’s why they clash . a lot of it is ‘ harmless teasing ‘ and ‘ banter ‘ for the most part , but they literally fight like an old married couple around each other .

#pyrrhic.intro #this is a wild ride its 2am i gotta be up for work in 5 hours #do i hate myself ? absolutely #anyways i adore u all #do i already wanna bring in more chars ? yes #will i try Restrain myself ? maybe .#i will get to starters and intros ASAP

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chikkou · 4 years

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I'd ask this on your Lisa sideblog but you don't have anon on and I'm shy lol, but do you have any headcanons relating to Lisa the First? Like Lisa's views on religion, her relationship with her mother, if any of the various worlds we see mean anything?

hoh man i didnt even know anon wasnt on LMAO... ill turn it on after i post this!

also fuck YEAH i do holy shit i fucking LOVE lisa the first!! i know its sort of the black sheep of the lisa series, since it is a completely different type of game and was clearly austins first game, but i fucking ADORE it dude. the music - which he made ENTIRELY IN THE FREE TRIAL OF FL STUDIO BY THE WAY - is FANTASTIC, the art direction is actually pretty fucking incredible for an rpgmaker game that uses a good deal of basic assets, and the gameplay.... ok yeah that part is a bit lacking but its a yume nikki-style game be nice it was his first time LMAO

ANYWAY back to ur question. first and foremost, i think this is not even a headcanon so much as straight up canon, but lisa DESPISES christianity. marty is christian, probably catholic given the golden crosses everywhere, and he is a fucking scumbag hypocrite. lisa likely associates all of christianity with this line of thinking, as there is one room in the bile area where the melted martys (although i suppose we can just call them joy mutants now LMAO) simply stand in a circle surrounding one big cross. the role of the melted martys is up for interpretation of course, as is everything, but after playing the painful and seeing them described as “mindless sheep,” i think this is how lisa viewed them. so they likely represent other people that, to lisa, are probably just as sick and disgusting as marty

lisas relationship with her mother... i go back and forth on this one a lot. i can never decide if i prefer the headcanon that lisas mom died in childbirth, and so lisa never met her, or if i prefer that lisas mom was around for a very short time and then either left or died. the fact that she says “i didnt want to leave” at the end of the first leads me to believe that she most likely died. in either case, the memory of her mother was clearly important to lisa, as she wears her pendant through the entire game and its explicitly noted as being a gift from her. in either case, i think that the death/absence of the mother is heavily implied to be the primary cause behind martys descent into alcoholism and lisas abuse, since the white room strongly implies that marty did at one time sincerely love and care for her as a father properly should

as for the meaning of each of the rooms, i think most of them are fairly self explanatory, but some of them are a bit more vague, so ill break it down in terms of how i see it (and ill put them under the cut because its long as hell):

martys house - this is the most literal one. pretty self-explanatory. the dark, yet vibrant colors and the ear-bleedingly loud tv are pure sensory overload, something lisa probably deals with on a regular basis. when lisa goes outside and it turns into a sky of marty faces, i think this is the transition into the psychological part of the game

the lobby - this is honestly just pure yume nikki ripoff LMAO... but if i had to ascribe a symbolic meaning to it, i think its probably a quiet and safe area for lisa to retreat to in her mind when she needs it, but even that eventually gets sullied as tricky rick makes his way there, too (and tells her hes “just waiting” when she talks to him). the majority of gameplay is lisa searching for items with which to kill tricky rick, who always abuses and disparages her whenever she talks to him, telling her she’ll never forget. as for the reason why... well, take one look at him and its pretty clear whats going on there. (the name is also a reference to richard nixon, whose nickname was... well, you can figure it out!)

the town - the bar area is 100% my favorite from this world; lisa clearly hates alcohol and anyone who drinks it, associating them all with marty, and that music... all i can say is YUCK. the entire section also consists of lisa having to give up something in exchange for what she needs to move on, and usually getting the raw end of the deal out of it (she gives one marty a banana, he gives her a banana peel in return). she does all that while avoiding a marty following her outside who repeatedly tells her “you cant escape,” and upon reaching tricky rick (who is atop a narrow, columnar, PINK mountain), it becomes pretty clear whats happening to her.

the sea room - fucking marty spiders man. im assuming they represent the sickly feeling of crawling skin she gets when she looks at him or is anywhere near him, but holy GOD they are annoying to deal with. she kills tricky rick with pills here - we dont know what kind of pills these are, but i interpret them as sleeping pills, and given the rumbling music and the rapid cycling marty background, i wonder if he forced her to take these. marty is everywhere here, but the only one she can speak to is seen chilling on a raft of some kind. marty likely spent much of his time recreationally, i.e. drinking, so it makes sense why this would be here

the rope room - theres no symbolism here this is just pure comedy (LMAO). if i HAD to assign some meaning to this area, it would be that lisa likely is so despondent at this point that putting in effort to do anything feels utterly pointless, much like climbing this long-ass rope was

the white room - as i mentioned earlier, i personally believe that this area depicts the previous relationship between marty and lisa (and also has one of my favorite songs in the game). he is shown doing traditional fatherly things - he is no longer wearing sunglasses and is wearing a suit, meaning he was likely employed, and is actually smiling. he also spends time with her in a completely platonic, familial way. when she interacts with him, there is a little heart over his head. after lisa walks through the golden statues (which will reappear later), the entire world becomes filled with bile, and martys appearance returns to that of the other martys, but with an extremely warped, grotesque face. the item she needs in this area to kill tricky rick is found between two golden crosses.

notice that all of the items she kills tricky rick with - a razor, pills, and now a plastic bag - are things that a child could plausibly get their hands on; none of them are explicitly weapons. i think this shows both her age and how often she must have considered using those things against him.

the bile room - probably my favorite area in the game, and also features what i consider the quintessential lisa song. this area really drives home lisas disgust with marty and with christianity as a whole - it almost certainly has the highest concentration of crosses, and it is also quite literally covered in wall-to-wall bile, dirty water, and disgusting houses. a lot of the most graphic sights, like the melting martys and the pond martys (no idea what to call them LMAO) are here, so i think this is pretty much the lowest circle of hell for lisa. marty gives lisa a freshly cut finger in exchange for a napkin here; im not necessarily sure what that represents, but i think the napkin was used by marty to masturbate (as he says “i needed that” after he takes it), so perhaps the finger is martys?

lisa kills tricky rick here in a cave that is not-so-subtly shaped like a penis, and gets a vhs tape in which he pretty explicitly states what is going on in the game; he even pretends like he doesnt know who lisa is at first, which somehow makes it even more disgusting. the fact that vhs tapes play a role here sort of makes me wonder if marty really WAS filming some of what he was doing, and given that lisa the joyful confirms that brad was forced to somehow participate in lisas abuse, that is.... horrific to think about, honestly

the marty tape - this tape just has the player (as marty) walk up to lisa and suited marty, who are having a tea party with a plastic tea set. they both get hearts over their heads if you talk to them. i think this drives home that he and lisa did once have a normal relationship, and perhaps theres some part of marty who misses that? theres a LOT of ways you can interpret this; having the player become marty really calls a lot into question.

the mansion - the room leading here has a marty staring directly at the player who informs lisa that she needs a sword to progress. unsubtly, the sword must be placed into the crotch of a womans statue. the mansion inside is beautiful and ornate, and easily the most gorgeous area in the game - and it all leads to what appears to be a proto-joy mutant marty, sort of looking like jabba the hutt. i dont doubt that this is intentional, given that jabba the hutt is associated with slave leia, and its not at all a far leap to call lisa martys slave. the golden statues of women, as well as many golden crosses, are everywhere in this area. its actually quite a large space with a lot of thought put into it, so im really upset that i cant figure out more of what it represents LMAO

the final area - lisa seems to go back to her actual house, but upon leaving her room and entering whether the living room would be, the whole area changes. she encounters herself in a blood red room, but when she talks to the other lisa, she turns into marty. i think this represents a clear question - who is lisa without him? IS she anyone? or is she just a vessel for him to do with what he pleases? she encounters a naked marty telling her to give up shortly after, and flees from him, but is followed by voices repeatedly telling her that she must accept her fate. i think this clearly show the mental state of lisas last days. she was tormented, eternally. she truly felt there was no escape from marty. even the background becomes nothing but martys face, over and over again, as the end screen flashes.

at the end text, she finds a video tape, and in the tape sees someone who is ostensibly her mother from behind. she apologizes for not being there for her, but when that figure turns out, its martys face that she sees. the sky turns into marty. the music becomes corrupted and overrun with pretty fucked up laughter. she tries to run, but marty is already everywhere. theres nowhere for her to run. and then the game is over.

note that the video tape comes AFTER the games end screen, which stops not long after the appearance of the naked marty. so i personally believe that the “game over” represents her deciding to take her own life, rather than just give up and accept her fate. by running from him into the blackness, she got away from marty the only way she could have. it is sad and horrible, but that is honestly the best ending that she could have gotten in this game.

the first is definitely not as good as the painful in terms of gameplay, that much i can agree on, but i really think people miss out on a lot by not playing it. i think its really crucial to see lisas life from her own perspective before you can see it from brads - after all, brad may have known more than anyone else about what was going on, but he did not experience it like lisa did. for brad, lisa is a symbol of his own regrets and failures, but lisa was a PERSON (well, in-universe anyway LMAO). she suffered on her own, with pretty much no one to help her, and then she suffered so much that she couldnt take another second of it.

#anya's anons #long post #lisa the first #ok NOW im gonna open my anons on my sideblog LMAO #i got wayyyy too into this #and i had to put it under the cut bc its really hard to not be graphic about the first given the subject matter #rape mention #abuse mention #lisa

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #309

“show me how to lie - you’re getting better all the time / and turning all against one is an art that’s hard to teach.”

Have you ever played Jackbox Games? If so, which ones of their party games are your favorites? No, but I looooove watching Mark and The Boys play them on charity streams. They can make up the funniest shit. I can't recall the name of the specific one I'm thinking of... but I enjoy watching most of them. I do think one or two are boring, though. Do you have artistic friends? If so, have you got their artwork displayed? I have some very talented friends, but I don't have anything of theirs displayed somewhere. Have you ever considered pole dancing? Why/why not? No. It takes an incredible amount of strength, plus confidence I don't have. That and I'm just not into it. What's the last thing you fixed yourself? Uhhhhhhh bitch I couldn't tell ya. Are there any CDs you've held onto for sentimental reasons? No. Did you read the Barbie magazines with comics made with the actual dolls? "I didn’t know that was a real thing." <<<< Me either. What's the last thing you knitted? I've never knitted before. Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') She was the first person who joined my RP mob back in the Animal Planet forum days. Why do you take surveys? Be honest. Boredom, distraction, and sometimes I just wanna ramble about whatever. Does mail get delivered to your door or do you have a mailbox outside? Our mailbox is by the side of the road at the end of our driveway. Your doorbell rings out of the blue. What's your reaction? Let Mom answer it. I don't answer the door ever if I don't expect someone or can peek outside and don't recognize them. Are all the lamps in your home LED or other energy saving lights? I don't know. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing. I can't write very long at all before my carpal tunnel flares up. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life...If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now? I'd be dead, that simple. Have you ever taken a course on CPR? No. What makes you laugh most effortlessly? You can guess it pretty easily. What makes you cry most effortlessly? I make it a rule that I "can't" listen to "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White because there hasn't been even ONE occasion where it hasn't made me cry, even when I was stupid enough to binge it because it's just a good song. I've broken that "rule" before because I do just genuinely enjoy the song, but I know the pain truly isn't worth it, so I haven't heard it in a decently long time. What is the best smell in the whole world? Cinnamon rolls, probably. My body wash is currently that kind of smell, and Jesus Christ it's the best part of showering. Do you wear a watch? No. Can you tell time from an analog clock? Yes. What a time it'll be when kids can't anymore... Is there a number or a combination of numbers that feels important to you? Only dates, but not numbers themselves. What is the most socially awkward thing you've done? *gestures at my life as a whole* Is your computer decorated in any way? No. If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it? No. No. I don't want to relive my high school experience; it would be too painful for me to willingly walk into. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? I would say "the breakup," but technically it was letting him basically own me and my every neuron of joy. Not by his will of course, but my own. I was stupid and just... handed those rights over without really realizing it. I can harp forever and ever and EVER about the importance of making sure you own yourself and your emotions. Do you ever donate money to charity? If so, which charity and why? Blah blah blah, I don't get an income, you know this. Whenever I do, I 100% plan on donating to every charity stream Mark ever hosts again, as well as some other people's. I'd love to donate to a lot of places. Would you ever want to get married? If so, why? Yes, because society has made it too instilled in me that it's just like... this ultimate validation of "forever" with your partner, even though I know you can be just as or even far more invested in your relationship without marriage. The only *true* benefit of marriage imo is for legal and financial reasons, but yeah, I still want it. Like I said, it's too deeply embedded in that brain of mine that it's a relationship goal. Why do you live the way you do? I'm not even living the way I want to, so... Have you ever abused an animal? No, and I say "fuck you" with every ounce of sincerity and loathing if you have. Do you think animals are less important than humans? If so, why? Nope. We share this earth and grew from the same roots, so what *really* makes us better? We might be smarter (generally) and more developed as the apex predator, but that does not equate to being more important than, say, even a gnat. That creature has the exact same level of rights to be here as the human species does. I could go on and on and on about this topic. How close was the last person close to you who has died? Not extremely, but she was still important to and loved by me. Grandma and I were very, very different and butted heads more than once, but her love was unconditional, and she showed boundless kindness to others. She showed a courage I see as unmatched in the face of death. I truly, deeply, in the very core of my heart hope she is at peace and experiencing all joys she ever wished for. How does death in general make you feel? Well, it depends on how I'm looking at it. I fully accept it is an inevitable phase in simply existing that none of us will ever evade, so it's not exactly terrifying to me, though of course I don't want it anytime soon. If I'm thinking about people I love dying, I definitely get sad about it and scared of that possibly eternal separation. Is there a person you absolutely loathe? If so, why do you loathe them? Not that I know personally, no. Has anyone ever told you that you're rude? If so, what caused it? No; I think I'm very mannerly, honestly. Have you ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen therapists since I started middle school. I advocate for everyone to have one, honestly, whether you have a mental illness or not. Have you ever been homeless? In technical terms, yes, but a friend let me stay with her until Mom and I settled into a new place. Have you ever been completely broke? That's the actual story of my life. Well, not me personally considering I've never had to take care of myself financially, but my mom struggles very, very badly with this, and mind you, she's frugal. Just disgustingly underpaid when she worked, and her current status with disability isn't exactly incredibly generous. I live under her roof, so. Have you ever had a steady job? No. Have you ever needed a loan? If so, what for? Have you paid it back? Yes, for school, and no. I do NOT want to know how in debt I am with schools. Have you ever wanted to go to space? Not seriously, no. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen or heard? I am 99.99% sure mine and Jason's old roommates were having some ~kinky~ sex once while I was alone on the couch against their bedroom. Preeeetty sure the girl was making meowing sounds. They were furries (who I want to emphasize have zero judgment from me; I actually think they're very brave and creative), so that was... something I definitely wasn't used to hearing, haha. What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Probably when Mark N O T I C E D me on Tumblr by reblogging a gif I made of him and his pupper, and I LITERALLY struggled to sleep for three days lmfaoooo. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhhh a pretty decent amount, I'd say. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? Crows, sparrows, cardinals and bluejays if you're lucky, robins... pretty basic stuff like that. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Octopi are absolutely fascinating with their intelligence. How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Take a nap. That usually works. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Yeah, I love that shit and really wish I could do it more. Bring my camera, too. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some animes. Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? No. I actually quite like them, though. Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you'd love it, but you really didn't? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? My dad lent me his Shinedown CD once clearly without thinking I could just look up the album online, haha... He's an old clueless man, leave 'im be. But anyway, of course I listened to it for him and I enjoyed it; I especially loved "The Human Radio," "Kill Your Conscience" and "Pyro." Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? Mine has changed a few times, but I haven't had "a bunch." As for the second question, not to my recollection. Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? The lock screen is a pastel-styled list of mental health reminders: "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough." My home screen has been some adorable meerkat pups for a while, which I didn't take. What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Ummmm maybe plaid? No. Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? The only situation I could think of would be a sex shop. That'd be so fuckin uncomfortable. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? I'm heavily biased towards Cloak, haha. I just support anything and everything Mark takes part it, and it's his and jacksepticeye's business. I have one shirt and it's genuinely great quality and reall comfy. I wouldn't call its products expensive, but they're not cheap, either. What person do you text the most? My mom or Sara, depending on the day. Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? No. Not pictures I have anymore, at least. Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Omg I would never. I hate the flavor of any sort of pumpkin food. Does your car have a name? I don't have my own car, but Mom jokingly calls hers "Olivia." Who was the last person you made plans with? One of my sister's in-laws that's actually the mother of one of my closest friends contacted me to plan some family pictures. What is the rudest thing someone has done recently towards you? I can't think of anything recent. How do you feel about your hair right now? It needs to be trimmed and dyed. How fast have you driven a car? I think accidentally leaning towards 80 on a highway. When you're hanging out with friends + you become bored, do you just leave or endure the boredom? Given I can't leave without a car, I deal with it. What did you last plug into your computer? What were you doing with this? The charger for obvious reasons. What color(s) have you dyed your hair? Red, purple, black, then red, purple, and lighter brown highlights. I really wish I could dye it more and actually have the color stick... Was your first kiss perfect? It was to me. What song did you hear last? I have "Over The Mountain" by Ozzy on now. (: Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you ever walked into the guys' bathroom? HA, once during a teacher work day (my mom was an assistant) at my elementary school. My sisters and friends went in there to be little "rebels." I remember being mega confused with urinals, haha. Then as a teen and adult, I've been in the dance studio's boy's restroom as well as a church's to help Mom clean. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My therapist. Are you shy? I am VERY shy. Are you talkative? Generally, no, but when I'm in a very good mood, I tend to be. Has your most recent ex ever seen you cry? Oh jeez, she saw me wail once. When was the last time you were called "cute"? I'm not sure. Would you rather be called "hot", "cute" or "beautiful"? "Beautiful." Do you have a little sister? Yep. Definitely not "little" anymore, though. About to have her Master's in social work... How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? Given our childhood, we've fought a lot, but mostly just as kids over very, very stupid things. As adults, we've had a serious argument once or twice and then just some very minor disagreements sprinkled in there. Do you know anyone who's been arrested? Oh yes. What're you planning on doing after this? Another survey. What time did you go to sleep last night? Damn, it wasn't even 8:00. I was EXHAUSTED and actually slept decently for once in my life. Do you like waking up to good morning texts in the morning? I mean, I'd think most people would. It's a sweet, easy way of someone showing they care and think about you. Have you left some things unsaid with a certain person? Yeah. What was the last thing that made you happy? We had syrup to add to my breakfast, haha. I don't know if these are a thing everywhere, but I looove what we just call "pancakes on a stick," which is like a corndog, but with sausage and pancake batter. Dipping it in syrup is amaaaaaaziiiiiiing. Do you like the smell of rain? I don't love it, but it's refreshing sometimes. It's mostly just associated with a bittersweet memory, so it can be triggering to smell. I know, that sounds immensely stupid. What was the last thing you took a picture of? A very, very relatable meme to show Sara, haha. She doesn't have a Facebook, so that'll do. When you go to McDonald's, what drink do you usually get? I always get a Coke. What’s the nickname of your home state? Tar Heel State, from discovering tar in the since aptly-named Tar River. Have you ever thought about your wedding? I mean duh. What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? Hot and humid, ugh. Especially right after a summer afternoon thunderstorm. It's unbearable. You can't fucking breathe outside, and you set one foot out of the door and it's soaked. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? The time Misty visited last month and we were taking family pictures. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? I wouldn't pay for either or even willingly go to one or the other, but if I had to go for whatever reason, Carrie. She has a beautiful voice as well as a good handful of songs I actually like. I'm not a Taylor fan; there are only like, two old songs by her I enjoy. When someone screws you over, do you get back with revenge? No. I may not be the best at adulting, but damn, I'm not that bad. Name something negative that you hate about yourself? I overthink like a motherfucker. About everything. Is there a dead end road near where you live? I live on one. Huh, that's actually been the case three times... wow. Four if you count the apartment. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot (celebrities)? I don't care. I don't even pay attention to the news, other than Covid updates. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Name something positive you love about yourself: I care a lot about people. Can you smell anything right now? No, besides however my house naturally smells that I'm numb to. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No. How does alcohol affect you? I flush in my face very obviously, and I become more outgoing and talkative. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? I've never tried it, but I very much doubt I'd enjoy it. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. What colour is your toothpaste? Blue and white. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever inhaled helium? Once, I believe. Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? Yeah, I think he's pretty funny and a talented actor. What was the last fruit you ate? An apple. A candied apple for Valentine's Day, but still an apple, haha. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? With Sara's family, yeah. It was fine. Have you watched a movie this week? I haven't watched a movie in many months. Have you set an alarm today? Yeah, just to ensure I was up for group therapy today. Have you asked someone for advice today? No. What was the last website you were on, other than this one? YouTube. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but it'd be cool. Well, thinking about the humidity... Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? No; I haven't watched television in a long time. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I got my makeup done and put on a dress for a Halloween "witch" shoot with my friend and some other people. The pictures pretty much don't exist because they're blurry as shit and way too dark because we left too late. I don't know why we even left the house to do it by the time everyone figured their shit out. I was really disappointed because I thought Summer made me look really, really pretty. ;_; Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't know if he really meant it. He might have just wanted me off his back, but I kinda feel now that he meant it, at least regarding how it happened. Are you proud of who you are? Only in the sense that I think I have a good heart. Otherwise, no. I've accomplished so little. Have you ever been to Costco? We don't have those here, so no. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, thank Christ. Only in middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? One. Do you give spare keys to your place to your friends and family? Our landlord/family friend has one. Then obviously my sisters do, too. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Oh hell no. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? Yes, two for each of my photography "styles." I don't post a lot myself, but I react to stuff. When was the last time you high-fived someone? I believe the last time I was at my sister's and my nephew caught a Pokemon on his first throw in Pokemon GO. He and his sister LOVE that game; that's the first thing they ask to do when I come over, haha. Their dad doesn't like it because it's "evil" (which he finds most things, really...), and it's something I could roll my eyes into the back of my head about, but I still have to respect his parenting and ask if they can play it first. He let's 'em, just not long. He also took away the Pikachu plushy I gave Aubree because it's her favorite one. :^) Guess who doesn't fuckin like him lmao. Do you like writing? How often do you write? I love writing! I don't do it very much nowadays except through surveys, though. RP is kinda on pause, so surveys is really how I just get stuff out, even if it isn't creative. Are there any posters or artworks hanging in your living room? Artwork and family photos, yes. What's your favourite place to get pizza? I'm a basic bitch that loves her some Domino's. How many times have you been to the beach? Quite a few times. We live only like two hours away, and considering Myrtle Beach is a common dance competition location, we've been a couple handfuls of instances. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. No. After we moved out of my childhood house though that we actually owned, the fucking idiots who were moving in completely roasted it to pitch by setting boxes on the goddamn stove and accidentally turning it on. The house had to be entirely rebuilt. My parents were livid considering it was THEIR house. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No. What was the best school project you remember doing? I actually really enjoyed the huge essay I did on toxic masculinity the last time I tried college. I've always been very firm about letting men be humans and not emotionless robots, but I learned a lot more while researching and writing. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus is #1. I've beaten it at least 30 times, maybe even 40+; it's been too long since I've seen the save files. It's a relatively short game (you can beat it in less than like, four hours if you know what you're doing) and just very relaxing yet simultaneously absolutely epic to me. God, I want a PS4 to play the remaster, like beyond words. It looks incredible, and I want to try to get white Agro. Have you ever petted a cow, a sheep, or a pig? A pig, yes. I love pigs.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''you're gonna go far kid'' by the offspring

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thedankfaerie · 4 years

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i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you.

and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself.

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time.

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive.

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’.

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once!

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately.

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class.

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point.

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore.

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us.

someone please help me.

#help #lol

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oikawasbread · 4 years

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(part 1) Ah, okay for matchup’s, I thought it would be cool to try one of theses because I've never done one before. I’m female, and bisexual. I’m a Scorpio, and I enjoy track and cross country, dancing, which i’m fairly good at, photography and reading in general. I also find myself getting back into drawing and singing oftenly. It said I was a INTP-T. I have relatively short brown hair, which is curly. I’m mixed, more on the tan side and i’m 5′6 (I just checked)

I wear glasses majority of the time, and i’m fairly curvy. I see myself as a ambivert who has a bit of a shy shell, but can easily be broken into revealing a very energetic human being. My friends describe me as scary?? Aka, i’m not afraid to defend myself or state my opinion in many conversations. Along with that, I do get anxiety quiet often and wonder frequently if I accidentally made someone mad or not. With people I trust or like, i’m fairly loud and laugh alot- and its to the point where people have to tell me to calm down lmao. I enjoy engaging conversations almost about anything, and I wish I can have those types of talks more in my life. Alone however, i’m usually quiet and don’t start conversations unless I have too, or someone starts a conversation with me. In relationships, I’m just looking for someone who can make me laugh, while also tying me down when my emotions get the best of me, while respecting who I am. A few negative parts about my life can be simply showed with my zodiac sign with me being able to get jealous really fast and holding big grudges other small things, which are two things i’m trying to work on currently. On the positive note, I will say that I will literally take a bullet to save any of my best friends to be completely honest. I enjoy the rain, snow, and cold temperatures. I love animals and I have a very tiny doggo that I treasure with every ounce of my being. finally the last one im so sorry) I really enjoy reading about Greek gods and fantasy books. Another fact is that I get flustered really easily, which a lot of people tease me about. I don’t exactly like to stand out, which is why my wardrobe has more dark colors, as I don’t own any red/orange/yellow or pink shirts. And finally the last fact I thought I should include randomly is that I play the piano and learning it this year was one of the best decisions I've made in my life.

Damn, don’t feel sorry for this detailed description, fr. I actually enjoyed so much writing this. As a scorpio, I relate to you so much. I spent so much time on this and you gave me so much info so i had to do a whole character analysis for you and I felt like i was writing about myself. So I enjoyed writing this so much cause I realised new things I didn’t knew about me and it feels good to know that I’m not the only one who is like this.

Anyways!

MATCHING WITH : OIKAWA TOORU

Aight, I know that so many people hate him. And i don’t know if you hate or love him , but hear me out : Besides being a cancer and working with a scorpio so well, i feel like Oikawa would be perfect for your character.

he’s totally in love with the way you style your brown curly hair.

he says ‘’it’s almost as good as my hair’’

he’s a total simp he knows your hair is better than his

has a thing for your tanned skin. tbh u make him wish he wasn’t so pale :’( baby boy wants to get that tanned shiny skin! but it is what it isss

you being 5’6 makes it easy for him to mock you.

but he won’t exaggerate, because he knows you’re going to cut him with your sharp glance

you’re clearly the top in this relationship. i mean you’re a scorpio. are we surprised?

y’all r going to volleyball matches looking badass asf with your matching glasses but in reality you two are being crackheads in the last row of seats

he clearly sees through you, but not since the beginning

at first, he was totally a bit scared to approach you. he’s always seen you being intimidating and sarcastic

you were like a challange to him, since Tooru himself is pretty intimidating and sarcastic

until he opens his mouth

and i think this is what makes you two so perfect for each other : you just need some time to warm up, then you suddenly become the funniest people of the group

as a scorpio, you can be pretty insensitive, having trouble when it comes to expressing your feelings, and when you and Tooru get into a fight, you won’t hesitate to throw some venomous words. sometimes you just can’t control your anger

but he knows you well. he won’t take it by heart since he knows how short your temper is, and he’s willing to step on his pride and put an end to your argument

you’’re not afraid to step up. you’ve always went too far to defend your beliefs and he’s totally whipped. he thinks you would make a great lawyer haha

he loves how you always have a good argument for everything and how you can beat people in a fight just with your words. it’s truly amazing for him, the power you hold

so he avoids fighting with you

I JUST KNOW you guys both have struggles when it comes to following rules. it comes with your zodiac sign. even though he’s way softer and innocent than you, you will drag him into your adventures. and he won’t say no :’)

sometimes you feel like Oikawa is the only person who understands you, who doesn’t think you’re insane

he may not be a genius, but you can’t deny the fact that he’s actually clever

he understands you without even having to hear any words coming out of your mouth

Tooru knows you’re rebellious, stubborn, independent; he knows how you sometimes can feel 29843 emotions at the same time, and he’s here for you

he won’t question you when you don’t feel like talking. Instead, he would make a cup of your favourite tea, add some ice in it, and watch you reading your favourite book while you’re drinking the tea in which he put his secret ingredient <3 love!!

you love reading about Greek Gods, and he loves aliens : so you slowly became a fan of the universe, the unknown, and he started to love the Greek Mythology

totally in love with your dance moves ; watching you dance is his favourite hobby; the way your body moves amazes him and he tries to dance like you sometimes . he may be the great king but not on the dance floor.

long story short, he’s in love with everything about you : your passion for photography, the things you’re reading (he actually finds your favourite authors quite interesting) , the way you’re singing in the shower or how you’re humming some familiar songs when you’re focused on something

he thinks he’s so lucky, and skipping some volleyball practices to hear you play his fave song at the piano is totally worth it

when he found out you’re an athlete, his brain went poof

watching you run with the sunlight dripping all over you was what he needed to get his mind off the school and vbc stress

having a thing for sports made you even more interesting and hot (he didn’t knew you could get hotter than you already are)

sometimes he can see that you’re needing approval, and he tries his best to let you know that you are the greatest at whatever you do.

you think he’s bluffing just to make you feel good, but you appreciate it so much even tho baby boy actually thinks you’re the greatest. like fr. you are his grand queen

you have a rich inner world, so you’d rather focus your attention on it instead of the external world.

Oikawa thinks it’s pretty cute, cause you guys sometimes have lazy Sundays when you just lay in bed all day and do nothing but enjoying each others presence and your own thoughts.

Tooru, just like you, hates failure. losing any type of match puts him down, and the same happens to you.

you feel like you wanna start over and do things the other way around, but you can’t.

the good thing is, you have each other.

he mocks the hell out of your jealousy. whenever his fan girls are approaching him, you feel your heart stop and the oxygen fading away. you just wanna let out your anger

but he knows it, and he will reassure you that you don’t have any reason to feel that way.

he’s only interested in his Grand Queen and no one else can change his mind.

he finds it quite fun that you hold grudges over small things, he can clearly see that you’re vengeful, and that makes you two lil partners in crime.

BUT the way you’re willing to do absolutely anything for him or your friends inspires him so much.

of course, he would take a bullet for you. But your strong spirit is what’s making him be so passionate about everything : you inspire him

the best days for him are when you two are around the house, and it suddenly starts raining.

he only has to look at you once, and you both drop everything you’re doing and run outside to just sit in the rain. the feeling of the cold rain on your skin while you’re trapped between his arms makes your heart explode

little moments like these are making you both fall in love more and more everyday.

I really really hope you enjoyed this! I tried my best and please feel free to request again whenever you want! <33

-Riley

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chocafe · 6 years

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— treasure a as hogwart students

request: “Hogwarts house for treasure A plsss” a/n: a big thank you to @outofexits and @yedarnit for helping me out with this! ♡ i don’t know much about harry potter, so i apologize in advance for any mistakes you all find in this. if you would like more description as to why the boys are in a particular house or why i chose their patronus then don’t be afraid to send me an ask about it!

➯ lee byounggon

gryffindor

it took about thirty seconds for the sorting hat to decide that he ultimately belongs there

you want to go on adventure? byounggon is there!

he’s not afraid of anything and he will be there for anyone who needs to be protected

half blood

patronus ✧ dragon

keeper of his quidditch team

seunghun was the one who forced him to try out for the quidditch team even though they’re in different houses

“why do you want me to join? we’re in different houses, so we won’t even be together.” byounggon asked with a confused look upon his face

“because i want to see you lose and see me win!” seunghun shouted before he laughed and playfully put byounggon into a headlock

all jokes aside, but seunghun truly thought byounggon would be a good player

and not only that, but byounggon didn’t really seem to have a hobby until he joined the team (all thanks to seunghun who also noticed this)

he says that he hates studying, but he’s still one of the top students who excels the most in his history of magic class

in his third year, firstyear!junkyu stopped byounggon and asked him if he could help him find his classes

byounggon ended up guiding him to every class and even continued to be a little mentor for junkyu as he helped him settle down into the school

and that’s how they became friends

he understands the pain of being a first year and he also wanted to make sure junkyu was on the right path

byounggon used to be a prefect, but gave up his role because a majority of people found him frightening

he just wants to make friends uwu and he wanted to focus more on quidditch

now, he bribes prefects from taking points away from him whenever he causes a little hassle

“come on, yoonbin! i’ve been in your shoe before, so let me off this one time.”

“i can’t do that.”

“yes, you can. just pretend you didn’t see me. how about i do your homework for the next week? that’s a good exchange, right?”

➯ kim seunghun

hufflepuff

the sorting hat barely touched his head before it screamed out “hufflepuff!”

“wow, even i knew that.” seunghun muttered to himself before he ran off to the table filled with loving people who were ready to attack him with warm welcomes

seunghun is loyal to all of his friends and it’s super easy for him to detect someone who is not loyal to him

half blood

patronus ✧ brown bear

captain of his quidditch team + chaser

even though he’s such a sweet person, he values handwork and will be on anyone’s case if they’re not giving it their all (which is why he’s such a great captain)

one game, against the ravenclaw team, lasted for five days, but seunghun and the other captain decided to call it a tie because they both had a astronomy test to study for

herbology is his favorite class

everyone knows him

he’s popular in literally all of the houses and other student’s just can’t find themselves to hate him when he’s such a friendly person

sometimes, he bakes cookies for everyone when he gets bored

during one rough night, hyunsuk couldn’t stop crying over his family’s bigoted ways. seunghun was the first one to find him and made sure to stay by his side as he reassured him that nothing is his fault and that he can start to make a change in his heritage line

when he bleached his hair blonde, in honor of his house, byounggon couldn’t stop making fun of him because he looked like a lemon in his perspective

➯ choi hyunsuk

ravenclaw

he comes from a family line of ravenclaws

the truth is, he was in a hatstall between hufflepuff and ravenclaw

at first, he was conflicted because he didn’t know which one his heart truly wanted to be at

in the end, he chose ravenclaw to continue on his family tradition (his family also expected him to join ravenclaw, so if he was to choose hufflepuff, then there would be War In Their Household)

just like his family, hyunsuk is quite intelligent and puts a lot of thought into his choices

pure blood

patronus ✧ falcon

he’s pretty amazing at every subject, but he still remains to be horrible at flying

he could never get used to being off the ground, so he tries to stay away from flying as much as he can (unless he’s forced to then SIGHS)

one of his favorite class is charms

it’s his favorite because he personally likes giving objects unexpected properties and he generally likes making everything to look aesthetically pleasing

ravenclaw prefect

he’s such a nice prefect!!! he gives people warnings before taking away their points

he believes taking away points won’t teach anyone a lesson and everyone should learn how to better themselves one little step at a time

“jihoon, this is my warning to you.”

“this is already my 7th warning and i’ve never lost a point yet.”

“do you want to lose one now?”

“NOPE IM GOOD THANKS BYEEEEEEE”

➯ kim junkyu

gryffindor

some students have told junkyu that they would’ve guessed he would be a hufflepuff

since he comes off as someone who’s kind and patient

but that doesn’t take away the fact that he has a competitive nature, is determined, and is radiating with a new found confidence and bravery

half blood

patronus ✧ newfoundland dog

tends to gossip with his house ghost, “nearly headless nick”

he’s one of the quidditch commentator

screams a lot, but when he does so, people still love him as the commentator because it brings light comedy into the serious game

when he first came into the school, he lacked so much confidence

but as he grew as a person, his confidence level rose to the sky and he doesn’t seem to be the same scaredycat!junkyu he was in his first year

if you were to ask junkyu what his favorite subject was, then he’d just say “hmm, probably lunch.”

many students swoon over him because of his good looks

so around once a week, he receives chocolates from a variety of different students, but the chocolates usually contain a type of love potion

his go-to adventure partner is byounggon, since they’re both not afraid of anything

one time he missed his curfew and “the fat lady” portrait lied to him that the password changed (when it really didn’t), so seunghun took him in and let him sleep in his dorm for the night

➯ bang yedam

slytherin

the hatstall took around 4-5 minutes as the hat couldn’t decide between slytherin or hufflepuff

he has characteristics that perfectly fit both, but he has more stronger traits that fits with the slytherins as he’s a born-leader and ambitious

muggle born

patronus ✧ black swan

on his first day, he called the enchanted portraits “gifs” and everyone turned their heads to look at him as they questioned “wait what did you just say???”

his first friend was doyoung ( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )

doyoung helped yedam come out of his comfort zone as he introduced him to people in and outside of their house

the lowest grade he has ever received was exceed expectations

since yedam can be a total softie, a group of traditional pure-bloods used to poke fun at him and call him a “mudblood”

although, they stopped bullying him once they found out that yedam is literally smarter than all of them combined and also because of the pranks he would do to get them back

in the beginning, he was so eager to learn new spells just to get back at those bullies!

now, he’s eager to learn so he can grow as a person and as a wizard

was a candidate to become a prefect, but they took him off the list once they saw all the mischievous events he was the mastermind behind

since he’s a muggle-born, he would get so surprised when his fellow friends and classmates don’t understand his jokes

“road work ahead? well, yeah, i sure hope it does.”

“what are you saying?”

“you know- that vine video.”

“vine?”

“waiT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT VINE IS???”

➯ kim doyoung

slytherin

he was housed after fifteen seconds after the hat was placed on his head

some students are 100% sure the sorting hat placed him in the wrong house

but how could the sorting hat be wrong when doyoung is just as ambitious as the others and will put in all of the effort he has to achieve what he desires for

pure blood

patronus ✧ aardvark

similar to seunghun, he’s friends with everyone and he even tries him best to befriend everyone, not caring what house they belong in

but he still has a tight circle of friends that he prioritizes first

he’s probably the nicest boy in his house and he pretends he doesn’t hear other slytherins swearing out loud in the common room

speaking of the common room, he gets super!!!! excited!!! when he spots a creature by the lake whenever he’s in there

he seems to always wear his uniform in a careless manner and if you ask him why it’s because “it’s fashion and properly wearing my uniform isn’t underneath my rules.”

he’ll follow the rules, like the good boy he is, but doesn’t really mind if he breaks them

if anything, he can’t break his OWN rules he has made for himself

yedam’s partner in crime

got a countless amount of detentions because he’s yedam’s apprentice when he pulls pranks

during his second year, students finally accepted doyoung being a slytherin when they found him arguing with dohwan in the middle of their potion class

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rickktish · 6 years

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BNHA Headcanons

Yagi Toshinori | All Might is asexual. He has had romantic relationships before and did enjoy them, but he’s a complete virgin and satisfied to remain such. He’s not utterly sex-repulsed, but he is rather uncomfortable with the idea of it. He generally assumes that if he met the right person he would be okay experimenting, but none of his past romantic partners have been “the right person,” so it’s kind of more of an idea than a practice.

Aizawa be trans.

Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic grew up with deaf lesbian moms.

Aizawa is a little bit autistic, mostly in regard to sensory issues and social cues. He doesn’t really portray a lot of overt autistic behaviors outside of his home because he’s very good at masking.

Iida is also a little bit autistic, and possibly Tsuyu though not as much for her.

Todoroki has never been diagnosed as autistic in any way. This will probably not change any time soon. He was so isolated growing up that it’s impossible to tell what social queues he misses because of inexperience and what may have less environmentally determined reasons.

If Todoroki ever was diagnosed as being autistic, his father would deny it to his dying breath and bury the evidence deep. No proof will ever arise of any particular doctor’s visits in his childhood having ever taken place. At all.

Todoroki was not allowed in the same room as his siblings from the time he was six to when he started high school. When Fuyumi started cooking she was required to leave his food in the room before he finished training and leave before he arrived. His only interaction with people other than his father for most of his life has been what he can catch on tv and radio and listening and sometimes talking through the walls with his siblings. The only exception was when dressing wounds, but whoever was sent to clean him up after training wasn’t allowed to speak to him nor he to them.

Izuku has never knowingly met another quirkless person, but he did grow up hearing about quirkless suicides on the news. During his late elementary school years, he started trying to attend the funerals for those he heard about on the news whenever he could make it. Some of them had a good-sized gathering, but others were empty, lonely affairs with only one parent attending— two is rare in households with quirkless children— and sometimes not even that. It’s left deep scars and he remains terrified of being revealed to have been quirkless previously.

Midoriya never really gets much taller. Where All Might is this giant— 7 foot something and before he lost all his power an enormous slab of meat and almost nothing else— Midoriya is just this little stocky determinator who definitely never breaks 5’10”-- if he even hit 5’8” it must have been a miracle. He beef, of course, but he short beef, not tall beef.

Todoroki is taller (6’- 6’2” ish) but slimmer than Deku and can curl up very extremely small. Sometimes he has bad days and comes home and curls up into a ball on the couch and when Deku comes home he just picks him up like nothing and holds him in his lap even though his thighs might actually be longer than Midoriya’s torso. Todoroki inherited his mother’s slim build, which translates on him as scrawny, wiry muscle where Deku may be smol but he got BUILT. His arms can cover Todoroki like a blanket, which is exactly what Todoroki needs on bad days.

Deku does the same fairly often for Iida, who has several weighted blankets but they’re just not the same as a warm person who knows what is okay and how to ask and cares and is the best friend he’s ever had

He’ll also occasionally hold Uraraka this way, but mostly only when she’s drunk. She’s a very cuddly drunk.

Actually a lot of the class has found themselves randomly curled up in Deku’s lap at some point for one reason or another and it’s honestly one of the most comforting things. Kaminari had a bad breakup, Tsu got really sick for about a week, Sato had a mild breakdown after a series of really difficult family challenges that culminated in his grandma dying, Tokoyami and Dark Shadow got in a fight that Deku ended up helping to resolve where they took turns with one of them in his lap and the other behind the couch until he got them to talk through it, Aoyama went through a bit of a rough patch with his French parent involving his parents’ messy divorce, it’s kind of just become a thing. For some it’s a one-off, a one-time thing that they’re grateful for but never repeat, for others it’s a regular event when circumstances align, and even those who have never actually wound up curled up in a messy ball of suffering of one kind or another have found themselves draped across or leaning against Deku at one time or another during some kind of distress. He’s very tactile and very comforting. He’s just a magnificent bean who kind of accidentally became dorm parent at some point and then stayed group parent even long into their hero years.

Deku has a habit of randomly picking people up and carrying them. It startled a few of his friends at first, but they all adjusted rather quickly and now it goes without comment. Besides, Deku gives the best hugs (aside from Shoji, Literal Huggin Machine), and being carried by him is basically just an extension of that.

Anyone whose legs are too long for him to piggyback rides on his shoulders, upright, like a toddler. Sometimes he’ll have one person on each shoulder. Giggles abound, but for the most part, they just keep conversing like nothing has even happened.

Various members of class B have wandered past or walked in on conversations between Deku and any combination of people he’s carrying and people he’s not. None of them are quite sure what to make of it. It becomes such a casual part of Class A’s lives that none of them can figure out why Class B is staring.

Uraraka has a bunch of planet mobiles that she sometimes sends floating around her room. She calls it quirk training, but really, she just really likes space.

No one in their class realizes what a space nerd she is until they’re in a science class and start talking about space and she can name every single thing and answer random obscure questions.

The whole class goes stargazing at some point and Uraraka points out every single constellation in the damn sky and it’s a wonderful evening. Someone responds by buying her a shirt with an otter in a flying saucer, backed by faint stars, captioned “i’m off to otter space”

She and Tsu also have paired Tshirts that both have a starry sky, where one is captioned “I have no idea where I am” and the other has an arrow pointing at a single star and says “You are here.” They trade who wears which regularly and never wear one without the other.

She jsut has a lot of space stuff, okay? She really likes space that’s all im tryina say she just really fucking likes space.

She is of an undecided opinion on Aliens and hasn’t explored the idea a lot

Sero is the aliens guy. Uraraka can tell you about celestial movements and the history of the discovery of the stars and constellations from three different cultural beliefs. She can describe interplanetary motion and actually understands the mathematics behind light and space travel. Sero is the aliens junkie who can tell you about coverups and mysterious floating lights and things.

Sero and Kaminari are conspiracy theory nuts and as far as anyone else is concerned they deserve each other.

Even Deku can only listen to so many “the US planted chemicals in the Luminous Baby’s home town and then spread them all over the world when the mutation worked” spazz-outs before getting a little twitchy-eyed.

Deku’s response to things he likes in chats is “my skin is clear, my crops are watered, my father has returned” and all his classmates are Concerned.

Midoriya Inko and Bakugou Mitsuki went to the same middle and high school, but Inko is two or three years older, so they were only there together in her last year of each. Still, they hit it off well in middle school and it meant that they stayed friends while they were at different schools.

At some point while Katsuki is in middle/high school, he and his mom have a huge fight that ends with everyone in the house in tears. His mom decides at that point that she needs to go to therapy to figure out how to be a nicer person. It’s a work in progress— it will always be a work in progress, her therapist tells her, and that’s normal and that’s all right— but their relationship is slowly improving. It gets even better when Katsuki starts attending therapy himself and working through his own issues, both those that are a result of his mom’s behavior and those that are entirely his own. Coincidentally, his other relationships also begin to improve at that point.

Bakugou is trans.

Bakugou transferred into Deku’s preschool halfway through the year. Initially, he was attending another preschool, but problems arose with the teacher when Bakugou declared his gender. Before he arrived, Deku had a fair group of friends who he played with. They were all equals, but Deku was the central figure of the class, being friends with literally every one of the other friends groups within. When Bakugou arrived, he asserted dominance by turning Deku into the laughing stock of the class, and it continued through middle school that way. This is why he describes the method he does during the special training with the kids— that’s what worked for him.

Deku knew Bakugou before that, because their moms were friends. He calls him “Kacchan” because they’ve known each other literally since they were in diapers, when both their moms would refer to them as “Kacchan” and “Zu-chan” because they were both so damn tiny and cute and precious. Zu-chan just didn’t stick the way Kacchan did.

Both Present Mic and Bakugou have some level of hearing loss due to their quirks. Mic is fluent in sign language, as is Aizawa. Bakugou doesn’t talk about it.

Deku learned sign language when he found out Kacchan was losing his hearing. He only brought it up once. It did not go well. He stays on top of it though, practicing with Present Mic whenever he gets the chance, just in case he needs it someday.

Bakugou has reading glasses that he hides very carefully in his dorm and never wears to class in spite of it probably making his life easier if he would.

When Bakugou and Kirishima get married they do in fact decide to have biological children.

They all have dark brown/black hair, because genetics, but at least one or two are born with blond hair that darkens over time instead of just having straight black straight away.

The mommy/daddy question is a real one, Bakugou struggling with questions of his identity as he tries to decide what he wants his kids to call him. He ends up being mum-mum for a short while in the midst of it all (he chooses to breastfeed because it’s better for his kids, dammit, he’s not gonna have them developing hearing problems because of improperly shaped ear canals or anything else of the kind that he’s heard can happen, and when his oldest starts babbling Kirishima has been calling feeding “num-nums” for so long that the kid starts saying “mum-mum” every time he’s hungry and it just goes from there), but eventually by the time all his kids reach middle school they all call him dad or pops. Kirishima is Daddy or Papa all the way through though.

They have three kids, one girl and two boys. It goes boy-girl-boy. Their eldest has a mutation quirk that makes his skin highly resistant to high temperatures. Their daughter has a slight mutation that makes her hands very rough but also an emitter type where she sweats not nitroglycerin but something chemically similar. Their youngest can transform his head, neck, and shoulders to be hard and sneezes nitroglycerin.

Kirishima was sexually abused by a relative as a child and struggles deeply with his sense of self-worth and esteem as a direct result. Starting high school was when he decided to stop letting his fear and pain control his life, hence the hair dye and other changes he made to himself.

Shinsou gets migraines when he overuses his quirk that aren’t really painful but leave him in a weird confused state where everything is too loud and too bright and he can’t really follow words because they just sound like noise. He goes nonverbal, closes his dominant eye against the brightness, and tries to keep going as normal but usually gets caught and pulled gently into a dark, quiet room to recover. They go away after he sleeps.

Bakugou has the most fashion sense out of any of class 1-A.

Hagakure is NLP blind from birth, since she was born invisible and light cannot bounce off her retinas because they reflect no light. She can, however, perceive the reflection and refraction of light around her, which is a semblance of sight for her, except that she senses it with her whole body like heat, not through her eyes. This is part of why she chose to be in the nude for her costume, because she can sense light better when it’s not blocked by her clothes. Eventually she gets clothes that are made of her DNA like LeMillion has which are invisible like her, but she dislikes how it blocks her light perception.

She reads by holding her hands over the page and feeling where the light is reflecting and where it is not. It takes a lot of concentration. She can also read Braille, and that’s easier on her, but often far less available. She has accommodations for quiet rooms to read in and sometimes to take tests in, though she’s embarrassed about it and often doesn’t take advantage of it.

The Todoroki siblings are all very different people, who went through different kinds of trauma as a result of their awful home life and grew up with very different attitudes about many things.

This said, there is exactly one moment in each of their lives in which they all behaved in the exact same way, thinking the exact same words.

At some point in their early adulthood, each of them independently stood in line at a store and noted a small stuffed animal on display. None of them were allowed stuffed animals as children.

None of them were allowed any soft toys as children.

Independently, several years apart from each other as each of them reached their majority and began living alone and free of Endeavor, four hands reached out and picked up the stuffed animal. Four minds thought to themselves, fuck you, Endeavor; I can have this now. And four siblings, never knowing that their older or younger siblings had done or would do the exact same thing, began collections of stuffed animals which no one except their most trusted friends ever saw.

Natsuo showed his husband. Fuyumi showed her spouse. Shouto showed Izuku. None of them ever knew about each other’s collection.

(Touya showed Hawks. It was the beginning of the end for Endeavor.)

Himiko and Twice know about Touya’s stuffed animal collection. He’s never told them, they just know, for their own reasons. Both of them have randomly attached little stuffed animals on keychains to various parts of his body and outfit, ostensibly to mock him, but actually to help contribute to his collection.

Kurogiri also knows, because he is the only well-adjusted adult in this whole damn scene, damnit, and he’s basically already parenting these absolute CHILDREN anyway he might as well spoil them a little as well sometimes. He doesn’t actually tell Dabi he’s doing anything, but he’ll randomly teleport a toy or two into the space where he knows Dabi keeps his Pile. Dabi is occasionally confused when he finds a toy he doesn’t remember purchasing, but kind of just tries not to think about it and appreciates the fluffy.

Shigaraki has a single thimble he uses to keep from disintegrating things he wants to pick up. It’s just big enough to cover enough of one finger to disable his quirk, but is too small for him to get all fingers on at once. It’s also pink.

Shigaraki can neither read nor write, nor can he tell time from anything other than a digital clock set to twelve hour time, not twenty-four. AFO got him young and never bothered to teach him, only indoctrinated him and trained him in what he would need to know in order to one day rule the earth. Which did not include reading, writing, or telling time in more than the least complicated way. He’ll have minions to do those things for him, so best not to bother.

#bnha #mha #rick's originals #rick's rambles #rick's headcanons #my recent fic thing Recompense was initially tacked on the end of this #but then i decided that it was enough to be its own thing #also I know opinions on Endeavor vary wildly #so i didn't want one controversial character opinion stopping people from reblogging this if they like it #i do have another controversial character headcanon that i might post if people express interest #but it's about the only character hated more than endeavor #so...#and it's got stuff i'm afraid will offend people #but then #im pretty sure my opinion on endeavor offends people too #so maybe i should jsut post it anyway...#idk #we'll see how things go #if you're curious about my controversial headcanon shoot me an ask

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