#this is so hard to portray from this perspective because i want to imply what's happening and at the same time

[decayedhearts]

@soothsaer​ sent:   💭 + trey + trauma   [Send me a “💭“ and your Muse will experience one of my muse’s Memories]

A sweet scent suddenly fills your nose and then you’re carried away on a cloud of cinnamon and apple, the school disappearing from your eyes and changing into a place you’ve never seen before..

It’s the big kitchen in the back of the bakery, the one where most of the baking happens. There’s a smaller area in the shop part too where some minor cake and cookie decorating is done, but that’s your father’s job and you’ve never helped him out there. Not yet. Some day you’ll be allowed to take over there as well. If you’re honest, it makes you nervous to think about - what if you mess up while people are watching? All that money wasted if you have to give it away for free (because who will buy messed up cake?), or worse, all that food wasted if mother decides to throw it away. Maybe you could sneak it out of the kitchen and give it to your sister, pretend you failed it on purpose so she could have some sweeties before bedtime. She’d probably like that.

“Trey, honey? Be careful not to let the dough dry up,” mother’s voice pulls you from your thoughts. You look at the lump of dough you’ve been kneading and nod. “Yes, mum,” you promise, poking the soft mass with your fingers to see if it’s starting to crack. It’s still okay, but if you’re not careful, it’ll dry up like mother said. You’ve done this often enough by now to recognize its stages, you shouldn’t make mistakes like that anymore.

You start splitting the dough into smaller pieces, rolling little balls and placing them on the counter. They all need to be the same size or else the finished buns won’t turn out the same, some will burn while the others are still raw, and you won’t have time to check them all individually. There’s so much left to do for tomorrow and you’re already getting sleepy. You hear the front door opening, the familiar jingle of the bell distracting you for a moment, but you stay focused on your task. There was a time where you’d drop what you’re holding and run to greet father, but that time is past. “Your father is back,” mother says and smiles at you. No, she looks sad. No.. she is smiling. She leaves the room and closes the door behind her.

You make more dough balls but you lose count of them as you place them on the counter. The sound of the clock ticking on the wall is so loud it feels as though it should make the loose flour vibrate on the counter’s surface. You hear their voices in the other room. They’re loud just normal, but you can’t make up any words. Mother is crying laughing about something. Maybe father told a joke; he used to do that a lot when you were little. Well, when you were younger, you are still little, compared to him.

You’re still counting by the time mother comes back, but the numbers are all jumbled in your head. Maybe it’s 15, or maybe it’s 49. Mother is quiet and so are you, your small whispered counting just loud enough for her to recognize you’re still doing it. You need her to know that, you’re not sure why, but the thought of her asking if you overheard them makes your stomach ache. You heard nothing.      “I’m done, mother,” you say out loud and turn to find your mum sitting on her chair by the window, her hand on her round belly. She’s in tears. Again. There is flour on her cheek and before you know you move to wipe it away, your small hand coming away damp.

And then she’s hugging you, holding you so tight it hurts a little, your small chest unable to take in breath like it should. You don’t remember the last time she hugged you to comfort you. You haven’t asked her to in a while. It wouldn’t feel like comfort from someone so broken. She’s whispering words into your ear that you don’t want to hear, words you choose not to understand. If you don’t understand them, maybe they won’t be true.

The bakery needs to stay afloat so you can keep the house and pay the bills, that much you understand. “I’ll help, mum,” you say, while your chest still hurts. You wish she would let go of you already. You already messed up so much, almost caused them to lose it all at the hands of a wrathful woman with a heart of stone. Irresponsible. The bakery needs to stay afloat so he won’t leave, you already messed up so much--- the bakery needs to stay afloat or she will go away too. You’re all she has, of course you’ll help. If you’ll help everything will turn out fine, the bakery will stay, father will stay, your sister will be fine and the baby--

The memory breaks off with a snap, like a film tearing. 

[sunshine-jesse]

Ashley Literally Did Nothing Wrong, Fuck You, Fight Me

Alt title: Ashley Graves: The most convenient scapegoat in the world

I'm going to espouse a take here that will no doubt be controversial, as you can tell by the title. This is a take I've created from my hollistic understanding of the events of the game, and isn't dependent on any one single point I make in this essay. Because of that, I want you to read it with an open mind; if you hyperfocus on one or two smaller details I might've gotten wrong or are fallaciously interpretated, and either use that to discount the whole essay or go into the comment section and immediately try to debunk my interpretation of that event, that'll make it obvious to me that you're not trying to seriously engage with the core of what I'm trying to say. Because unless quite literally everything I've said here is wrong, I feel confident in saying this:

Ashley Graves did nothing wrong.

Moreover, I think Ashley is on the level of people like Rossiu, Shinji Ikari, and Skylar White as far as people who are mistreated by their fandoms goes.

At first this was going to be an essay about how I don't think the demons are evil, using textual and thematic evidence to show that they're just part of a system that deals mostly fairly with humans and doesn't have any nefarious plans, or at least nefarious plans that stand to fuck anyone over. But then I realized that, goodness gracious, that is boring as shit to write! But I looked at what I had written already and realized that I could write something else with it: something better. I could sum up a lot of the points made in my prior essays and elaborate upon them in much more detail, showing why I think certain themes are obviously present within this game. And here, I intend on doing that.

I've spoken a lot before about how Ashley is a scapegoat for all of Andrew's worst habits; and to a lesser extent, her mother's. The game makes it seemingly obvious that she's the bad one, and generally just a Very Not Good person. It shows her and her brother committing many different acts that are, under most moral systems, wrong, and implicitly implies that she's the reason that Andrew ever did those things. It implies that she's corrupting him, that he could be better and refuses- or is unable to- due to her poking and prodding. But… is that the truth? Is that how their relationship actually works, in practice? I don't believe so. I think I've made it obvious by now that I believe the exact opposite!

I'm going to start off by tackling the morality behind their actions, especially relative to the world they're in. Specifically, I'm going to tackle how the game presents the morality of their actions from a thematic point of view, and any statements it may or may not make.

First of all, TCOAL plays with a lot of different taboos- demon summoning, cannibalism, incest, murder- but the game goes through great lengths to muddy the moral weight of the siblings' actions. Every single action they commit is portrayed in the most neutral possible light- killings were done in self defense (with one notable exception), or done to people who greatly wronged them, cannibalism was a necessity to survive (also with one notable exception), incest is shown to come from a marked improvement in their relationship- leading me to believe that this game is taking a hard morally nihilistic stance. Else, they'd be shown to suffer for their actions, when in reality, the literal exact opposite is happening; they are being rewarded for it. This isn't necessarily glorifying the actions, but instead showing that even the worst of actions can potentially be excused, but whether or not you do is up to the reader. Hence, nihilism, or at the very least, skepticism (as noted by Lisafication). There's an existentialist reading of this too, but I think much of that is contingent on the events of chapter 3 so I won't get into that here.

It contrasts this mostly nihilistic perspective on interpersonal taboos with the deep societal ills that drive people to commit such actions. Evil exists at every level of analysis here, but curiously, the only thing that are shown to do direct harm to others without having a justification of some kind- be it self-defense or retaliation- are those societal ills. There is no (morally) good reason to quarantine people, starve them, and harvest their organs. There's no good reason to burn all evidence and then put a hit on the ones who did escape. There's no good reason to extort sexual favors from someone in exchange for food. These are deep structural problems that force people to either retaliate/lash out or enable people's most exploitative or abusive habits lest they just let themselves die.

And thus, the obvious evils become much less obvious. The game makes a point of subverting the obvious or the well-known when it comes to morals, and I think it does so when it comes to everything else, too. Outside of those societal ills (so far, ch3 might have something else to say), every situation where someone could obviously be shown as the bad person in a situation is immensely more complex than it first appears. So much so that I'd argue that displaying said complexity and subverting simplicity to force/encourage people to analyze things deeper is one of the central themes of the game.

So why, exactly, does he blame so much on her? It's because Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat, and the game is well-aware of this and displays it in ways both obvious and not.

First off: the title screen has Ashley wielding the cleaver, establishing that she’s the violent one. It's covered in blood, too, implying that she's the one more driven to kill. The reality of this is the opposite; Andrew is the one with less hesitation to inflict violence on others, the cleaver is his weapon, and most of the kills in the story are done by him (and fully justified). Ashley might push him to do these violent acts, but… does she?

Her reaction to the death of the first warden is one of utter shock.

And her expression afterwards?

This is not the look of someone who enjoyed the fact that someone killed for her sake. This is not the look of someone who finds joy to be had in violence. It's not even the look of someone who is apathetic towards violence. It almost seems to express shame or guilt, but at the very least, she's timid over it. At the very least, it's an "oh shit, he actually had to do that for my sake" face. Not a "haha, I am making him worse!" face.

Not to mention, not only does Andrew kill the first Warden without a care in the world, he proactively kills the 302 lady to eliminate all witnesses, and because he believes Ashley would want him to. But Ashley actually grills him for it; she didn't want the 302 lady to die, although she hardly had good-person-reasons for it. But that's not my point. The point is that she is not the violent one between the two of them.

The door doesn't open in response to violence, remember?

The game intentionally misleads us.

And what happens when Ashley tries to make him take responsibility for all this violence? To point out that she didn't force him to do anything and that he chose to do all of it, including lock Nina in the box? She lashes out, hits him a few times… and then he goes to strangle her, and doesn't let go until she acknowledges that he has no reason for her to be around. He literally doesn't cease his threat to her life until she acknowledges she's useless to him.

I acknowledge that this isn't the most charitable framing for Andrew, and maybe too charitable for Ashley. After all, she wasn't indignant. She was mocking him. She found it hilarious. But I have reasons for that charitability that I'll go over towards the end. But even with that charitability in mind, I don't think my reading is too off base. Defaulting to laughter or mocking in stressful situations is just what Ashley does. She's not indignant about it; she just finds it hilarious that people keep pretending to be better than her, when they're not.

Andrew killed the 302 lady and used Ashley as a scapegoat to justify it; this is indisputable, stated in the text during the dream. This alone validates Ashley's point of view. There is no interpretation of this event that doesn't paint Andrew as every bit as unscrupulous as Ashley, and thinking she corrupted him into this- when it was both one of the first actions he did on his own in the story and something he explicitly uses Ashley as a scapegoat for- is just ridiculous. It's frankly unreasonable. She has every right to be sick of being used as a scapegoat. And at the very least, whether or not you accept the idea that Andrew only let Ashley go once she acknowledged that she's useless to him, he's still so taken aback by his misinterpretation of Ashley's desires that HE goes to strangle HER.

This is NOT Andrew triumphantly standing up to his abuser. This is both of their masks slipping; Andrew revealing how violent and insistent on keeping up his internal narrative that he is, and Ashley revealing that she's getting tired of being blamed for everything.

And then, when he finally lets her go… she hugs him, and acknowledges that she's happy that Nina is gone, which makes little sense at the face of it. Why would that be her first response to being let go, when it was ostensibly what made Andrew so upset to begin with?

I think, to her, it's a conciliatory gesture. As chapter 2 showed us, she's more than willing to take responsibility for violence to relieve Andrew of stress over it, as evidenced by her finishing off their parents. This is an earlier instance of that; by acknowledging she was happy that Nina was dead, she took responsibility for it. She willingly framed herself as a bad person here, so Andrew wouldn't have to be.

She let herself be the scapegoat, because it's all she ever knew. She put the mask back on.

This alone is enough to challenge the idea that Ashley 'corrupts' Andrew in any meaningful way. How, exactly, can you define it as corrupt when society itself is twisted enough to force these actions to survive? In a more sane world, a lot of their actions would've been bad, sure, but they're also actions that the siblings probably wouldn't have done in a more sane world. Ashley's actions aren't making Andrew worse, they're helping to ensure their survival. You could say that this is still corruptive in its own way, but at that point it seems like your reasoning is motivated by having already had that narrative rather than making a good-faith reading of their dynamic.

At no point did she actually make him worse; he was already like that and just used her as an excuse.

Next up is the Nina situation. This one is obviously cut and dry- Ashley manipulates Andrew into killing Nina because she wants no competition between the two of them. It's not Andrew's fault and Ashley was an evil abuser from the jump. Obvious, right?

No. It's really not.

It's pretty strongly implied that Ashley was mistreated by people her whole life. The Lemon Cupcake scene shows this in more detail, about how people always neglect or ignore her birthdays, but she also says that nobody likes her because she's weird and loud in the Nina flashback too. But unless something big happened in between the two flashbacks, none of this behavior indicates particularly maladaptive or even strange tendencies on Ashley's part. She's a needy, bratty child, and the closest thing to a friend she has- Nina- wants to take away the one thing from her that's a source of comfort and emotional validation.

It's not entirely rational, sure! But it also -makes perfect sense-. NOBODY treated her well throughout her entire life; it's strongly implied that Nina never did either, given Nina's reaction to Ashley being there and the lower left-hand painting past the Questionable door showing her being distant from the two of them. We can also see a star bouncing off of her head, and stars represent closeness in this game, so it shows there was an attempt made somewhere along the line, it's just not clear as to who made the attempt.

At the very least, Nina's reaction of disappointment fed into Ashley's preconceived notions of how people treat her, and how she deserves to be treated. Although, from what has been directly stated, rather than implied, Nina was nothing more than an innocent victim in this scenario; I don't mean to take that away from her.

"But she didn't care when Nina died?"

So? If Nina treated her like trash for most of her life, why should she care? She didn't expect Nina to die. It was just an acceptable consequence. You can say "That's not how normal kids act!" all you want, but there's a level of spite and apathy that comes with intense bullying and emotional neglect that I don't think you really understand unless you've been there to the extent someone like Ashley has implied to be.

Andrew, meanwhile, was the one who told Ashley that they had to lock Nina in the box to keep them in there. He's the one who looked for and found the stick to keep them locked in. You could say he was coerced by an abusive person into hurting someone, sure, but you'd be wrong. Cataclysmically wrong, even. Like, if you actually think that a seven year old girl (nobody wears overalls past the age of seven) can have anything approximating an abusive dynamic with her as the perpetrator with someone both older and stronger than her, you frankly have some issues with women you need to work out. That's simply not how abuse dynamics work at that age.

Andrew wasn't entirely responsible for it either, mind- he was just a kid who should never have been saddled with this kind of responsibility. But that's not my point; the point is that it enables other people, Andrew included, to use her as a scapegoat to avoid his own responsibility. All this scene does is retroactively justify any preconceptions you might've had about them from seeing their adult selves first. But the moment you start digging, it becomes much less obvious who's really culpable here. Andrew was, as evidenced by the blood oath scene, fully aware that he held the advantage over her in strength, and managed to give up nothing when making the oath while he made Ashley swear to silence. He was fully aware that he could've chosen to do better, but he refused, and instead opted to reinforce Ashley's insecurities for the sake of exerting control over her.

I've said before that the 302 lady was murdered without any input from Ashley, but this is also relevant on a meta-level because it's done without any input from the player, either. Both of the murders in chapter 1 were like that, whereas all that we, the player can choose to do in that chapter is either solve puzzles, or hilariously, die. The only person with control here is Andrew, the character, and this is reinforced by the fact that we have no control over him for much of the Nina flashback, too. He locks her in the box regardless of our input, even though Ashley spends a lot of time trying to convince him. The main difference between the Nina flashback and the scenes in the apartment is that Ashley had absolutely no idea that any of that was going to happen in the present, whereas it's something she wanted with Nina- which isn't that big of a difference when discussing how much agency she really has.

As much as the game frames Ashley as a manipulator- and much of the fanbase uncritically accepts- she is given shockingly little in-game control over many of the actions committed. Even in the case of the Hitman- as a good friend of mine pointed out- the only choice the player is given is whether or not to check the closet and be killed; an impulsive decision leading to a swift and unceremonious end. In the end, Andrew is the one given the choice to kill the hitman, and we can consciously choose whether or not his reaction is panicked or measured. No such choice is given to Ashley, as most of her reactions are impulsive and spontaneous rather than planned. This is not the makings of a standard "manipulative evil bitch" trope. She's pretty consistently portrayed as someone with poor impulse and emotional control who loudly and aggressively states her intent in every single scenario she's in.

And you can still call what she says and does manipulative despite that, sure, but at what point are you just pathologizing relatively normal (if extreme and highly emotional) social interactions for the sake of fitting into a narrative you already held?

We see Ashley's status as a scapegoat for people to use to pretend to be normal reach its most blatant with the parents. This time it's pretty cut and dry to anyone that doesn't already have it in their mind that Ashley is evil and unforgivable. Mrs. Graves explicitly brings up the possibility of a normal life without Ashley to Andrew in the basement, and claims that Ashley was at fault for shutting her out. She would've been a normal parent otherwise, right? Well, no; the game wastes no time in showing that this wasn't the case in the Burial ending.

From when Ashley was a baby, Mrs. Graves was already tired of her shit, and too emotionally exhausted to be a parent. Despite her attempts at blaming Ashley, she would've never been a normal parent unless Ashley was a golden child in the same way that Andrew was. And yet Ashley didn't even deny shutting her mom out. She didn't deny the chance to be used as a scapegoat; it was all she ever knew. The fact that Mrs. Graves had the audacity to claim that she was a saint when she was never prepared to be a parent for a child who didn't make it easy, and when she was willing to sell out her children and let them die for a life insurance payment is absolutely astounding.

This alone should've been enough to recontextualize everything we supposedly know about how responsible Ashley really is in all of this, but bad parents have a knack for being great at manipulating both family members and everyone viewing from the outside, including the people playing the game.

And almost including Andrew.

Andrew almost accepting the mom's offer is the single most tragic moment in the game, by far.

Dandy said it best in his video essay: By Ashley leaving Andrew alone with their parents, she showed that she is capable of changing. That she is capable of getting better. She showed that she loves and respects Andrew enough to be able to put aside her usual role as the scapegoat and allow him to make the decision that was for the best for both of them. And make no mistake, it was for the best; if the mom really DID sell out the siblings, and given the two of them were already on the run for supposedly being dead, there was no hope of any of this ever working out. They saw through the conspiracy and knew the truth of how the quarantine operations really worked. They were an active threat to one of the most powerful entities seen in the setting so far, to the point where they had a hitman sent after them.

Mrs. Graves had every reason to sell them out again, for their presence in a public setting was more than enough to put everyone in their family in danger. Mrs. Graves had every reason to believe that the normalcy she wanted was nothing that could ever be grasped again so long as her children were alive, and as such, it was clear that she had nothing to offer either Andrew or Ashley. Ashley trusted Andrew to see through their obvious manipulations and lies, and understand that the parents had nothing left to give them. She trusted him to love her more than the false promises their parents could give.

…And yet. In spite of it all.

In spite of her love, in spite of clearly displaying that she can grow up and become a person that causes him less stress, and in spite of Ashley showing that all she wants now is their safety and security…

Andrew can still choose to consider Ashley the problem. He can still choose to use her as the scapegoat he always has.

He can still choose to see her as the one thing that caused him to be this way, that stands in between him and normalcy, when she, not once, forced him to do anything.

Were he to accept Mrs. Graves' offer, this would've been the single most tragic moment in the game. It almost was, and still stands to be, because he ignores every indication that things could be better for the sake of his own narrative, and a narrative echoed by much of the fandom.

But no matter what ending was picked, things could be better. They could've been better all along. Compared to chapter 1, their dynamic in chapter 2 is already much healthier. Their banter is less venomous, and while they still poke and prod each other in ways that aren't exactly great, they don't get into the same violent fights we saw in the 302 room. By all accounts, what happened in that room was an outlier. Even when they find themselves in their parents' house, where they stand to do the One Thing That Means They Would Never Be Normal Again, Ever (ignoring the fact that this is already a lost cause by then), Ashley doesn't get into any fights with Andrew in the same way she did back in the apartment. All she wants is affirmation and security. She doesn't even lay into her mom like she lays into Julia over the phone, even in their private conversations.

We’re led to believe that she’s still getting worse because the actions she’s taking are more extreme, but her attitudes and behaviors are much, much different. The actual actions they're taking are so obviously the right thing to do (both morally and practically) that I don't think it's until they eat their parents that you should make a double take and go "Wow, maybe these goblins actually are kinda fucked up," because until then, well… everything is justified! Perfectly so! Even then, eating their parents serves a purpose, even if not a mentally healthy one.

Maybe she’s calmer because she’s in control over the situation, but if the calls she made to Julia are any indication (independent of the theory that she didn’t actually say those things), were she unchanged as a person, she still would’ve lashed out at their mother over how much more useful she is to Andrew than their parents were, or something of that nature. Something about how nothing their mom offers could compete with what Ashley gives. But she makes no such claims. She feels no need to prove anything to her parents, or to reaffirm her place in Andrew’s life even in the face of her mother challenging it (or at least implying such a challenge). Regardless of her insecurities, she’s changed. It’s hard to see, but she has.

And then Andrew can ignore that and consider betraying her because he refuses to believe that she's willing to make their dynamic work, when she shows many different indications of being willing to concede as long as Andrew stops giving her mixed signals.

A friend of mine put it best, and I'm pretty much quoting her word for word here, because of how strongly I agree with it. When I look at Ashley, I find very few actual "flaws." I see familiar wounds.

The Burial ending, despite being triumphant and not nearly as "dark" as some people think, is still very, very sad. A lot of abusive dynamics are characterized by someone having to fight every step of the way to get what they need from the other person, usually some kind of emotional validation or relief. This is what happens between Andrew and Ashley for most of the game: Ashley wants Andrew to treat their relationship as special, to acknowledge there's something to it beyond just him going through the motions. And yet for most of the game, he refuses to, especially in chapter 1. And then, in Burial, when he does…

She's confused.

A lot of people view this as her being afraid of losing control over Andrew, since her "Andy," who she can push around, is gone. Andrew has changed, and the same tricks wouldn't work. But that's not what that is; it's not about control, it's about her finally getting what she wants from him without having to fight. She still thinks about using sex as leverage to keep him around, but that's because she's never understood what it's like to have someone actually want to be around her. And I speak from experience; when you no longer have to fight for every little bit of emotional validation or relief, when you no longer have to keep checking your messages to keep an argument going so you can finally be proven right, when you no longer have to force yourself to let go, to stop engaging, the reaction isn't happiness. It's not relief.

It's confusion. It's discontent.

Because something you've tied so much of yourself up in to is no longer there, despite it being more peaceful, it still feels wrong. The dynamic still has to be this way in your mind, because you've never known anything else. You latch on to whatever you can in order to justify that, and your actions are still heavily biased in favor of maintaining your place in that nonexistent dynamic. This isn't manipulation; it's trauma. And the fact that Ashley almost immediately understands that Andrew is changing is nothing short of a miracle. By consolidating past and present Andrew into a single person rather than splitting them into two, she showing that she can actually heal from that trauma. And all Andrew had to do to enable this is to acknowledge that she CAN change, that things CAN be better, and that everyone who claims to be better than her is full of shit.

I've analyzed the events of the story in a way that may seem needlessly antagonistic to some characters, and overly charitable to others. But I have to ask you, that if you disagree with anything I've said:

Where does that disagreement come from? What about my narrative clashes with your own? -Why- does it clash? Is it because the game presents your interpretation as obvious, whereas mine is not? Is it because you've experienced someone like Ashley before in your life, and you know it when you see it? Maybe you strongly identify with Andrew, and view his status as a doormat with no agency to be obvious? Or did you just accept the narrative that much of the fanbase has taken at face value, without further analysis other than building on top of it?

I don't believe these things to be contrarian; I've held most of these opinions since my first or second playthrough. I don't believe what I do because you don't, I believe what I do because I understand what Ashley has been through. I've experienced a lot of the specific traumas she had, such as deep feelings of isolation and being deprived of the emotional validation I need from the people who need to give it. I know what it's like to be misunderstood, to have who and what I am taken for granted, and to be terrified of being abandoned by the people I need the most. I see what I do because I understand.

And I want to give her that understanding that nobody gave me.

Maybe you should think about it. Why do you take it for granted that Andrew is a doormat who is strung along by Ashley? Why do you find it so odd when the trope of a woman corrupting a good man through leveraging sex is drawn into question? Why is Ashley seen as crazy, when all of her actions are so straightforward and rational? How is she corrupting him, when the single most needlessly violent act in the whole story- outside of the Nina flashback- is done without her influence? Why is Ashley seen as the abusive one when Andrew both threatens and resorts to physical violence and witholds emotional validation?

Weirdly personal tangent aside, Ashley and Andrew are two of the most well-written characters I have ever seen. They're not written like archetypes who interact with each other through a series of tropes; they're written like real people who's words and actions have astoundingly human motivations. They come from places that we can understand and relate to.

And just like people, they deserve respect. In spite of all they've done, they deserve love.

But make no mistake, Ashley is not the one stopping that love from happening. She just has the audacity to still want it in spite of everything telling her that she doesn't deserve it. We're led to believe she wants too much, but all she ever wanted was the bare minimum that she was never given.

And she has every right to be mad about it.

[akajustmerry]

I haven't seen chibnall but I have a hard time imagining being worse than moffat. I'm sure it's possible but that man... he was bad. also out of curiosity what's the problem with eccleston? or did you just use his name as a reference for which era was rtd. feel free to ignore this if you like, I hope you have a good day!

hellooo!

look, you won't hear me arguing moffat wasn't bad but believe me Chibnall was worse. He wrote an entire sequence where the Doctor tricks the Master (then played by British-Indian actor Sacha Dhawan) into being caught by the Nazis, knowing what the Nazis would do to him. Like, the Doctor, presenting as a white woman, handed over the Master, her best friend presenting as a Brown man to the most notorious white supremacist regimes in history. And that moment was framed as a successful ploy!! As a "win" for the Doctor.

I'm sorry but, to me, Moffats fucking decrepit cringe Gen X Misogyny did nowhere near as much damage as thoughtlessly portraying the Doctor as someone who will literally use Nazism against a poc and framing it as clever girlboss behaviour. Like, it's not fun that these are the people we have to choose from but one of these things is not like the other.

As for the Eccleston stuff, I was referring to Christopher Eccleston's conflict with the BBC and by extension implied conflict with RTD. The full details of the conflict have never been fully made public but Eccleston has always maintained he quit the show due to the culture created by the show runners and producers. He's said he'd never work with RTD again. Eccleston implied that one of the reasons the relationship between himself and RTD broke down was Eccleston's desire for the Doctor to be a role model whose intellect wasn't inherently tied to being upper class English and had to really fight to use his natural accent. It's worth noting that the we wouldn't have a Doctor without an RP (received pronunciation) accent again until Capaldi. David even mentioned Russell's "enthusiasm" for DT to speak in RP not his natural accent in his interview with Jodie in 2020.

I want to believe that RTD has grown since the mid 00s, and perhaps this time around things will be different. But I think a lot of people point to Moffat as the worst because his bigotry is the most visible and easiest to critique. It's more popular and acceptable to critique sexism against white women than it is to critique racism and classism. But in reality all of these showrunners are white British men who have pulled white British bullshit and I won't stand for Chibnall and Davies shortcomings being scapegoated via Moffat.

Also, this is not a defense necessarily but a lot of people who hate moffat era who did NOT watch Capaldi's seasons and did not watch season 10 with Bill Potts. So their critique often lacks the perspective of Moffat's best season that proves he's capable of writing something genuinely compelling that's not gross and sexiest. Like it genuinely infuriates me when people talk about "moffat who" but they're only really talking about Matt Smiths seasons. Again none of that is a defence but it's just to say that most people who say Moffat is the worst are people who a) are really talking about Sherlock, which, fair enough that was shit b) people who just think 10th Doctor best Doctor and don't actually care about anything after that era in any meaningful way. Or c) people who have a pretty incomplete view of the series was and where it currently is.

omg this is long sorry I hope I don't sound rude I'm not trying to be I just have so many thoughts about this. I hope this answers your question, please let me know if I need to clarify anything <3

[bestworstcase]

Question from someone who's attempting to write rwby fanfiction. Do you have any advice on how avoid portraying team RWBY and their peers (JNPR, Penny, Oscar, etc) as people who are 'just better' or somehow more inherently virtuous than Those Evil Villains Over There Who Must Be Defeated and The Failures Of Generations Past? Because I want to write the girls and their friends bringing an end to a millennia-long conflict and upending the status quo and yeeting the brother gods, but like. I don't want to somehow imply that they have some special holy righteous sacred innate thing that made them succeed where others couldn't. And I feel like I keep accidentally implying that.

step 1. Worry Less.

if you don’t believe that RWBY et al are intrinsically Just Better Somehow you’re probably not going to write your story in a way that inadvertently implies as much even if they’re ultimately the ones who Solve The Problem. they’re just in the right place at the right time to escape this cycle these things happen bfrgk

step 2. remember that everybody does what they think is right

no one is a Bad Person on purpose and even when someone does something they know or believe to be wrong there is always some rationalization going on that makes it okay or makes it something outside of their control. keeping this in mind whenever you write character conflict is really important for portraying conflict in a naturalistic way—even if it isn’t something you put In The Text it’s useful for you as a writer to know what’s Going On in the heads of the characters who are wrong and why they’re doing the things that they do.

(a good exercise if you want to practice is to rewrite a scene from the other side’s point of view; if you have for example an argument between two characters who are both extremely convinced of their own rightness and don’t like each other, can you leap into the antagonist’s perspective and write that argument from their side in a way that paints the protagonist as irrational, stubborn, foolish? if you can switch your writer POV around like that to see things from the Wrong Perspective it becomes a lot easier to handle complex conflicts because you have a really solid grasp on what everyone’s stakes and opinions and reasons are.)

step 3. don’t be afraid to let the Good Guys fuck up & don’t be afraid to let the Bad Guys have a point

rwby does this really really really well. nobody is ever one hundred percent completely right—not in the story and not in real life—so letting the good guys be a little bit wrong and the bad guys be a little bit right creates points of common ground and margins for compromise to be built in between. and obviously if you have protagonists who are able to make mistakes and grow and accept compromise then Innately you have protagonists who are flawed and three dimensional, because if they were Perfect they wouldn’t need to learn or grow.

step 4. think about Why these characters are the ones who solve the problem

this is something that’s just helpful to have in mind as a writer to clarify your own framing; often the answer is a lot more about circumstance than any intrinsic Betterness and in the case of rwby a lot of it just comes down to the fact that salem attacked when she did—team rwby et al weren’t inculcated into the paranoid keeping secrets cult and didn’t have ozpin to lead them, so they figured out their own way of doing things that (because it plays to humanity’s strengths) works a lot better.

y’know how every time someone new is let in on the secret, the first question they ask is “why don’t people know? why not tell everyone?” the story is making the point that the natural, instinctive human response to finding out about a secret war is to go “it shouldn’t be secret!”—ozpin has to work very hard and be extremely careful about Who he initiates into this conspiracy because his methods run contrary to human nature. it takes active effort to quash that reflex to ask for help. what makes team rwby et al "special" isn’t anything unique to them, per se; its that they learnt the truth outside of this coercive environment that trained the old guard to Never Tell Anyone, so they intuitively grasp that telling more people and asking for help is better than not. because Most People put into this situation would intuitively grasp that.

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 1

Hello all! It's been awhile since I've posted. This post is the result of a favor I did for a friend, where we both wanted to tear Season 5 of Miraculous Ladybug a new one. Normally, I try to avoid that mentality, due to finding it unhealthy... but I've been needing an outlet for some of my anger issues, and took the chance to vent!

I'll be posting one episode a day until I reach the Finale, not counting "Action." Warnings for Profanity, I got REALLY upset while doing the reviews in several places!

Episode 1: Evolution 

Okay, finally started episode 1 of Season 5 and... I already hate this shit. Seriously, leaving the stilted feeling of the dialog, several parts of this set up kinda lowkey piss me off. First off, Hawkmoth just decided to "redo" his whole "obey me, fear me, or else" moment from Origins, and it's... lame. It's not impressive at all. Maybe it's because of something with the writing, I dunno, but the dude is trying way too hard, and I just don't get where the huge crowd came from. Oh, and WHY THE HELL IS THE EPISODE CUTTING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN GABRIEL AND THE HEROES SO MUCH!? It's honestly really distracting from what's going on. Like, perspective cuts to show contrasting views can be interesting... but when you do it FIVE TIMES IN A ROW it just looks stupid as hell. 

Oh, and for some reason the writers seem to be wanting to cram as much dialog as possible into a 2 minute time frame, and it makes them sound like they are speed-reading a script. Where's the passion, the emotion!? I didn't come into this expecting to like this, but this is honestly pathetic. Oh, and FYI Tommy-boy, why the fuck would we want to sympathize with a man who explicitly calls the Kwami "not his prisoners, but his slaves"? News flash, people who unironically address other sapient beings as slaves ARE MEANT TO BE BAD GUYS!!! Blegh... I know I'm benefiting from having knowledge of what comes next, but even discounting how the Kwami come off as wet paper in terms of personality in the scene, expecting us to later sympathize with a guy who is treating them like slaves is all kinds of stupid. Oh, and him establishing that he can order the Kwami around despite having gotten their Miraculouses illegitimately shoots Miracle Queen's depiction of Chloe trying to super-charge herself in the foot. 

Okay... why the fuck is Nathalie saying "maybe there's another way" when he brings up the Rabbit Miraculous? Bitch, this is FAR from the first time he has used time travel to get what he wants and while one of those times it wasn't technically "him" who did it, he still was willing to take advantage of it. Like, why in the world are the writers including this?? Why are they trying to imply NOW, of all times, that Nathalie has a conscience. It's kinda fucking hard to do when she's been portrayed as a cold and uncaring secretary first, and a love-sick accomplice to a LITERAL TERRORIST second. Now she cares? NOW!? Fuck off with that nonsense, we don't need it here. 

Okay, seeing Ladybug and Chat trying to brainstorm how Hawkmoth could've gotten the Miraculouses only for the whole time-travel loop nonsense later to show up behind them... I just... why? Seriously, WHY!? Thomas, please explain, because I don't see the point to this. 

Okay, next up, we get the daily reminder that time travel fucking sucks in the form of Bunnyx bursting onto the scene. Also, the constant "stating the obvious" thing going on is just... how stupid do the writers think the viewers ARE!?? Also, if the episode is implying this is all a big time loop... then how come "Monarch" was able to show up in a prior episode without it immediately changing the timeline and causing Marinette to REMEMBER seeing him while being restrained by Lady Wifi!? Oh yeah, because the writers have no fucking clue how to make the nonsensical inclusion of Time Travel CONSISTENT in this stupid show!! 

Seriously, even if you take into account Bunnyx being more experienced at using the Rabbit Miraculous' powers compared to Hawky-boy, it's STILL AN ALTERATION that Marinette would've seen a portal appear behind Lady Wifi and Hawkmoth start to step out of it. 

Okay, now we get a completely needless exposition dump via Bunnyx regarding how the Rabbit Miraculous and the Burrow work... and I'm already tuning it out because this entire fiasco ignores how Bunnyx was getting ERASED by the Chat Blanc timeline, so this was all kind of a stupid diversion. 

Ugh... "it's you and me, remember" and I'm gagging. On the one hand, good on Ladybug for surrendering a bit of control in this situation... On the other hand, this scene overall just feels needless. And once more we get vaguely defined explanations on time powers. 

Okay, it's blatantly obvious that the writers are just artificially extending the drama here. There is no logical reason why in the world they shouldn't be rushing to grab as many of the Miraculouses as they can off of him, because HE IS NEARLY UNABLE TO MOVE AND CANNOT STOP THEM IF THEY RUSH. Like, they KNOW that he's only weakened so much because he's using too many Miraculouses at once, so why are they giving him the chance to correct that!? Seriously, Tommy, you do not keep drama and tension by doing crap like this. 

And Gabe demonstrates why he's a brain trust by basically stating that he is fully aware of what's currently wrong with him but thinking that shouting "I AM YOUR MASTER!!" will magically produce a different result... if this were meant to be funny, you could probably make it work, but the fact that this is meant to be a serious scene just... no. All the no. This is pathetic. It's EMBARRASSING. Do the writers seriously not get how stupid they are making him look and sound!? 

Again, why the fuck am I supposed to sympathize with a guy who is basically wasting time to throw a tantrum at his slaves/minions when he's been TOLD what's wrong and knows one of the reasons why, all in what boils down to the most selfishly stupid plot in the world? Why? What is it about this pathetic jackass that the writers find sympathetic!? 

And now we finally reach the point I fucking hate the most. See, back in the beginning, as weak as Fu's apparent reasoning on why he thought Marinette and Adrien would make for good heroes anyway was, it was still a reason... and now they are retconning it to be a "because destiny said so" moment. Fuck that. FUCK IT WITH A RUSTY SPOON!! Wasn't the entire fucking point of this whole fiasco being that the timeline gets fucked up when you interfere with events by using the Rabbit?? So why the fuck are they blabbing so much about the future? Okay, no, I get WHY, they need to be able to get to their future in the first place after all... but it's a pretty obvious double-standard in play when you show the heroes more or less ignoring the fact that they are messing with history, without knowing what the consequences will be, when that's the entire fucking reason they are trying to stop the villain in this instance. And I GET that it's a different situation, where they have no choice and are only doing it to stop Hawkmoth, who is doing all this for his own selfishness, BUT IT IS NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED WHEN THEY APPROACH FU THAT THEY ARE INTERFERING WITH HISTORY. 

I just "love" how they bring up "not disturbing the river of time" without acknowledging that this entire SITUATION was one giant "disturbance in the river of time." Ughh... yeah, if I needed any convincing at all that Miraculous is shit at handling Time Travel plots, this would do it. 

This part with Alix is... kinda corny. Like, no issue with Alix wanting to study engineering, but her going "science rocks my boat" just... CRINGE. MUCH CRINGE. Like, I get the intent, but... forgive me if I'm wrong, but have we ever gotten any indicator that Alix and her dad are this close? Also, just... having Alix's dad be read in on this entire situation in general is just... why? On so many levels, WHY!? Knowing what's coming and what he does next just... 

UUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This is painful. I am drained just trying to keep my eyes open through this self-congratulatory snore-fest, and it HURTS. And we've entered the end zone of this. Props that they at least ACKNOWLEDGED that Gabriel's tunnel-vision had blinded him to his alleged goal of reviving his wife/healing his wife... but again, WHY IS NATHALIE THE VOICE OF REASON!? Seriously, the lady. Is. A TERRORIST. Heck, this entire fiasco just illustrates how poorly they've thought this nonsense through, since he HAS MADE TIME TRAVELING VILLAINS BEFORE with Timebreaker, and a future Hawkmoth makes Timetagger, so them acting as if having the Rabbit is the be-all, end-all to achieving this goal is just... (Head meets wall) I can't. I'm gonna see it through to the end, but that's where my commentary on this nonsense ends. This is stupidity. 

Uurrgghh... okay, I will bring up one LAST point. Namely, this entire plot could've been avoided IF HE HAD JUST FUCKING SAID HE WAS TRYING TO HEAL HIS WIFE!! Seriously, he has established that time travel is already something he can fucking DO with the Butterfly via Akumas, and he now has the info to repair the Peacock and send it back in time via a USB port (ignoring how the fuck anyone in the past would even be able to use it, since technology CHANGES)... this entire clusterfuck is moronic, absolutely moronic. Gabe, you are a grade-A idiot and a petty piece of garbage. If your "love" meant ANYTHING to you, you wouldn't be getting tunnel vision over a teenager baiting you. Dumbass. 

Also... how the FUCK did Nathalie somehow know that Gabriel chose to engage Ladybug and Chat Noir rather than send the USB drive? Seriously, he didn't mention turning away and trying to attack them first, for all she knows, they attacked him BEFORE he could get the intel to his past self (seeing as they never once told the heroes of their goal, the heroes obviously would try and stop them on the assumption that it's something nefarious), so in this case... she's basically just guilt-tripping the idiot for failing and blaming him for not being unstoppable with a power he's had FOR LESS THAN A FUCKING DAY. If he weren't Gabriel, I would probably hate her for doing this... nah, I still hate her, since this just highlights how much of a self-righteous twit the writers turned her into in the name of making her "sympathetic." Blech.

[mersei47]

Marble Hornets - Amsterdam: Thought Process

so I already told everyone that amsterdam is my favorite song but I also chose this song because the lyrics are very appealing to tim's situation

When I listened to this song I personally thing it's about people with depression or people that disappoint in their way of life

in these frames I portrayed tim's past when he was just a child and that his mom, Janet, had to admit him to hospital because of his mental illness reason. I like to think tim originally had this symptoms and operator just making it worst later when tim starting seeing it (I dont think there's no clear detail if tim get this symptom because of it or not but it clearly affect tim later on)

these 2 frames I purposely made it to seem like a 2 different side of tim. the first is when tim has grew up. He received proper medication and therapy later on. He thought that he's getting better but the operator just won't let him go. as you can see in second pic (I refer the operator as tinman, when I heard of tinman word I thought of these words: emotionless, unmovable, cruel)

I represent the woods as the more he gets involved in this story, the lesser chance he has of getting out of this alive or chance of going back to normal

the black backgrounds part is to show both amy and alex's fates. the alex one means that even if alex tried to hide/run away from the operator or (paper getting torn apart) the operator still there and won't stop haunting him (paper pieces got taped back and blood part refer to when alex decided to kill (or lie to) his friends so that "the operator sickness" won't spread further)

the sea part match with lyric part "congratulation, you are all alone" in totheark font (hoody mocking alex). even thought I barely show hoody in any frames in comic, i tried to show his perspective to situation by using totheark fonts in it

I like to play with colors contrasting each others

I interpret the lyrics "rain wont fall on us, sun won't shine on us" as, not everyone got what they want or have the ending they decided for. Hoody tried very hard to fix things (even if some of it is not really pleasant way of helping) that he gave up brian persona, he still died. I also interpret the sun part as even if it seems like thing might actually getting better or think that the story might actually end in a good way. Jay is still died. even if Jay finally start to get help like Tim wanted, he still died

the "I wouldn't have it any other way" meant that even if tim tried to tell alex that he can help him, alex still believe in his own belief. so it leave tim no other choice

"your time will come" part I used the same pattern as jay's frame. because it's jay that wanted to help jessica but now that jay died now tim got to continue what jay left

I used skully symbol because its totheark caption matched with tim's situation like, "so much more than time has been taken" pretty much sum up it all and implying that skully is still out there

I forgot to write in image but the second frame where tim driving out of Alabama you can see that the woods at first is very thick then it started to fade away

yeah the camera part I had to trace from sony manual book. and about jay's jacket, after jay gone tim probably still had his stuff? don't know what he gonna do with it but I dont think he gonna threw them away

"cause these walls they're crashing down" this part I interpret as the whole "marble hornets" thing is no longer relevant anymore

and that's all! thanks for reading I'm very happy how it turned out so I hope you enjoyed this as I do too

[tahto]

A little Zhuiling ramble

Dark!Lan Sizhui is one of my favourite things to write but it can be a challenge for me. Keeping the balance between his darker thoughts and the outwardly nice, ideal disciple image he portrays. To show he’s dark not because he’s a Wen. And on the flip side that there can be a dark side to being a Lan too. To me, the root of his darkness isn’t a want for revenge, not purely at least, but a desire to protect and maintain what he has, as someone who had little to call his own. It is a need to love as singularly as a Lan, and as intensely as a Wen.

Speaking of what he has. The relationship I like to focus on is his one with Jin Ling - someone who Lan Sizhui has accepted into his life by choice. It’s implied that he spends more time with him after the main story concludes, enough that he even absorbs Jin Ling’s fighting style, and takes punishments from his sect because he goes on night hunts with his friends so often. Jin Ling is very much like him, closest to the heart of the Sunshot Campaign, but young enough at the time to have not been involved in the fighting and machinations. They grew up as polar opposites, one coddled and spoiled, the other in the burial mounds and later raised in a strict sect. They definitely have a lot to learn from each other, and can help each other grow through their similarities yet different perspectives.

Those differences would definitely frustrate Lan Sizhui but also intrigue him, because Jin Ling pushes back. Jin Ling looks at his perfect-discipleness and then acts like a little shit, he doesn’t praise easily or defer to him like the rest of his peers. He’s hard-won. He challenges Lan Sizhui’s stance on demonic cultivation, because to Jin Ling it’s personal. Jin Ling expresses his emotions freely without care of consequence. He doesn’t care that Lan Sizhui is the leader of the Lan juniors, he’ll jump in front of him and declare that he’ll kill any ghost for him.

And Lan Sizhui would be drawn in by that. This person whose family is the enemy of his, who protects him so earnestly and makes his blood boil. Who is unfailingly kind despite his sect’s influence and spoiling, and genuinely wants to help the common people just like he does - something a lot of those in power have forgotten. It’s the perfect irony, the last living Wen and the Jin heir. Here is someone who cares about him, shares family secrets with him, and shows that it’s okay to be unfiltered and relax around him. He’s Lan Sizhui’s friend and it took work to break through that tough shell, but that only makes it more satisfying.

Now that he has it, like hell is he letting this go.

[variousqueerthings]

im watching a danish 1918 silent film called "himmelskibet" (the sky ship/spaceship) and it's interesting from several perspectives

for one, i enjoy the idea that these people have the notion of going to space and build a spaceship (an incredibly charming spaceship) in 2 years and it works! lifts ve-e-e-e-r-y slowly out of the atmosphere over the course of several days

for two, they're going to mars. which in 1918 reads differently im sure, than in 2024 and the rich colonialism wet dream -- also because in this movie mars is in fact populated, so it's actually not colonialist in the way it might have been x amount of years later in space-exploration cinema and the martians are depicted as being far more civilised (and also more... back-to-the-earth, we'll get to all of That) than earthlings, which is interesting

for three, they build the spaceship and point it towards mars, but don't have the tools to gauge how long it'll take to actually get there -- they calculate a presumed date before they leave, but whilst on the spaceship just have no idea where they are? this isn't deep, it's just funny to me

point the fourth. mars is populated. it's populated by a bunch of very human-looking aliens, because it's 1918 and the only difference between us and aliens is that the aliens are fruitarian hippies who all wear long robes (yeah, i can buy that) who have overcome everything bad that humanity currently is. the message is a hopeful one, with the lead martian saying "what we are, you will become"

the martian society is presented as a utopia. they're fruitarians, they've got no crime, no violence, and in what feels like some of the most long-lasting of political ideas, when the astronauts bring violence with them, they are made to think about it, but not punished (and there's some christian repent vibes to it, but it's not too egregious as to not work as concept -- the movie as a whole is very christian in feel though) and the protagonist considers how evil it is to throw people into prisons on earth. there's also a whole thing about embracing/celebrating death, rather than fearing it, which i wanna roll around in my head for a bit

but... the film tries very hard to juxtapose this utopian ideal with earth, however can't figure out how to make that work in imagery, or even put its finger on what is actually wrong with earth society that violence abounds in the first place (you'd think there might be some wwi imagery in there, but no, not a one -- its way of "showing violence" is random young well-dressed people on the street assaulting an elderly man and laughing, or smoking and dancing, or implied sex before marriage...)

all the scientists/leaders on mars are men, while the women... idk, frolic in beautiful dresses (there are a couple of interesting women in this, but they're not The Thinkers, they're The Feelers). they're all white and christian (if, danish christians rather than american christians). they're all thin and able-bodied and "beautiful." there's a scene where the women dance "a chastity dance." it begs the eternal question of "wait is this actually portraying a white supremacist eugenics cult?" WHICH is not what the movie wants to say, it very much wants to say something about anti-violence idealism as the future for humanity, it's like. got its heart in the right place, even if the final messaging is "we take this woman from a higher culture and within her lie the seeds for a superior earth," which hmm.. yeah. ive. ive heard things like that said before. not about a martian

it's interesting what kind of shorthand we have for storytelling. how the people making this movie undoubtedly were trying to think of the most visually effective way of conveying utopia, and how that imagery is mainly used today to make a viewer go "uh oh" to the extent that i almost briefly wondered if there was going to be another shoe about to drop, even though the movie hadn't been going in that direction at all

very much enjoyed it on the whole though. a moment in time. a very very early scifi film. ye olde danish text

And the most important thing.

Behold A Spaceship:

[writingfarintothedark]

so based off my general feelings about season 2, and my post about what Simon's storyline/presence might be in Season 3 based on the trailer, I do hope that Simon is written well this season, the way he was in season 1. It's not just a personal want as someone in the fandom who adores Simon, but something I actually I think is necessary from a writing perspective/for the quality of the show.

I remember one of things the show got praised for after the amazing first season was that Simon was not just portrayed as the prince's love interest- rather, he was a full deuteragonist, we saw his internal struggles, and we saw he had a storyline outside of Wilmon.

Essentially, he was a complex and well written character in his own right in season 1. As the fandom saw, that was less the case in season 2- some stuff about him/his struggles was implied, but it wasn't focused on directly, and honestly, that meant a lot of the general audience likely missed those things. Simon was more of a character in relation to Wille in season 2 was the general consensus (which I agree with).

Part of the charm of Wilmon that people fell in love with that first season is exactly because they were portrayed fairly, as narrative individuals- we saw their individual stories and viewpoints and fell in love with them/their relationship. Their story as a couple felt earned because both characters were treated with narrative respect individually, and as a couple. I feel like if we do not have that season 3, honestly, the Wilmon relationship will feel less earned or healthy. I think we'll all love their moments because Edvin and Omar do an exceptional job of portraying that relationship, but it won't be the same without the writing component. A big part of why people fell in love with this relationship so hard was BECAUSE the writers did a brilliant job fleshing them out as individuals in season 1, and if that is all lost, especially in the final season...I don't know.

Looking at Young Royals as a three-part series, I would be willing to understand that season 2 needed to serve a specific purpose, and that they needed to get where they were going, if we see that season 3 fleshes out Simon in the ways season 2 lacked.

So here's to rooting for us to delve deeper in Simon this season!! Rather than just comforting Wille, I hope we see how HE is doing individually, how all of this affects him, because that's only realistic. I felt season 2 was unrealistic in showing how Simon would be impacted by the video, especially when his face was the one shown. It would be nice to see how he is doing internally, and if he gets a plot separate from Wilmon.

[this-acuteneurosis]

I'm curious how you characterize the dark side of the force in DLB. Does it behave more like an addictive drug that influences it's users to unhealth, or do you have it more like a sword- a dangerous tool that's not an inherently corrupting thing? (or maybe some other option I haven't thought of?)

Ooooooooooof. Okay.

So, my perspective on the Force generally, but certainly for this fic, is that the Dark side...isn't a thing.

Technically.

It's just a name.

I had a hard time before I started writing fic with the SW universe because the bad guys were progressively bothering me and I didn't know why. And it eventually came around to, the way that the Dark and Light side are portrayed, the Dark side is just...stronger? And that really didn't sit well with me. (I have no interest in arguing this point with people, it's my personal opinion.)

The biggest issue I had (among several) was there seemed to be this sense that the Dark side was like a drug, or a semi-sentient evil that lived in your head, or something, making you more bad. Or at least making you stay as bad as you were.

And like, there was no equal and opposite effect from the "Light" side. The good guys were always at risk of encountering that one thing that could turn them from the light, but there wasn't equal weight given the other direction.

This makes sense from a story perspective in a lot of ways, in that most stories are about resisting evil, and could get pretty boring if there was no challenge. But like, practically? If these things are supposed to be on some sort of cosmic scale?

I didn't like it.

And some of it comes back to the points that Leia was making to Yoda. How to you measure evil? What is the standard you use?

People keep making comments on DLB about Leia using "Dark" force powers that I have never heard of because I don't consume most SW material beyond the first 6 movies, and I sit there and I'm like...screaming in the Force is an Evil power? Like...why? (Please don't tell me. I don't actually want to know.)

I think there is probably a sense of malice and intentional hurt that you can pick up off of people who are what we would conventionally call evil. That you could pick up on the pain and anger tied to feelings like revenge. I can see Force sensitive people feeling that, looking at their students and going, "That. Don't do that. Don't be that. It's...dark. It's Dark."

But l just feel like this mis-attributes the responsibility from the person to the power.

And that's before we get into my violent rejection of the Force being sentient/semi-sentient.

I just...I'm very big on character agency in my stories. I think there are interesting things you can do by trapping characters with Fate or higher powers or mind control or any number of other things that impinge on their agency. You can do really interesting and compelling story telling that way.

But to me, the message of the OT was that Everyone Had a Choice. Luke had choices. Han had choices. Leia had choices. Lando had choices. Vader had choices. Hell, even Palpatine had the choice to not be evil.

And I find that allowing the Dark side to be a thing, especially to be a thing that exerts its own influence is just...not my vibe.

I think I've at least implied this before, but when people choose to hurt people with the Force in DLB, they aren't "using the Dark side." They are using the Force and they are using it to be cruel or angry or manipulative or whatever the hell else other unkind/evil thing they want to do. Their choice can be morally judged, but the power is in fact really just a tool. And people might not agree on the moral status of the choice, as Leia argues to Yoda.

I think there is real danger in labeling the feelings behind the intentions behind the use of the Force as Good and Bad or Light and Dark. I think it's why portrayals of Anakin and Vader are so vastly different depending on how you interpret his personal agency. I think it makes people defend some of the choices the Order and individuals in it made when those choices were Bad and Harmful, because surely Good/Light people wouldn't be Bad. They would know. They would never.

They could. They didn't. They do.

Anger is not evil. It's an emotion. Acting on anger is not intrinsically evil, and we do people a disservice by saying it is. It sure as hell has consequences and can absolutely cause harm. But so does any action take under any emotional state.

Teaching people they become powerless when they succumb to any powerful emotion--"good" or "bad"--is equally harmful and I think was key to how Palpatine manipulated Vader for decades after Vader had lost any real reason to be alive. And how people in real life similarly abuse and manipulate other real people.

Am I taking this too seriously? Maybe. But hey, uh, as you may have notice, that's kind of my bit.

[peopleareaproblem]

She's got a body like an hourglass That's ticking like a clock

Y'all are absolutely sleeping on a major part of Katya's arc.

Obviously we all love the queer subtext and shipping Katya and Sofia, but like. I'm honestly pretty tired of all analysis of media just boiling down to ships and romance. Katya is a really interesting character as-is, and it's worth exploring.

I've seen posts on here (this one by @notcaycepollard is really good) exploring the themes of food and eating in the film. And like yes absolutely. To quote that specific post (bold emphasis mine):

the rigid enforcement of domesticity as represented by the meals goncharov conspicuously fails to eat with katya [...] to me I think it speaks just as much about how trapped katya is by social expectations too. she tries so hard to perform the role of the good wife, polishing the fucking silverware and making blini [...] by the end of the film these conflicts are resolved with goncharov and katya at the table on the street, finally eating together but in a way that’s not constrained by the trappings of domesticity or the expectation of remaining true to your roots, katya is finally seen by goncharov as a whole person with her own internal life and he’s able to break bread with her, that final shot of them drinking wine with the church behind them, it’s just, the catholicism in this film is a lot okay

And this is an excellent analysis of these scenes, I totally agree with this take. BUT I think it leaves off a really important element. These scenes, Katya's struggle with performing domesticity with Goncharov, or arguably his failure to hold up his end of the marriage, are a direct metaphor for their inability to have children.

Throughout the film everyone's running out of time, the clock symbolism throughout, and then the scene where the men are assembling their weapons intercut with Katya getting dressed and putting on makeup — because her body is her weapon, and instead of her life being what is at risk of ending, for Katya it is her biological clock that is ticking. Her figure gets literally compared to an hour glass by Mario, and visually that metaphor is implied a couple of times as well.

Yeah I know it's a kind of misogynistic trope nowadays but this movie is from the 70's and was honestly kind of groundbreaking at the time (but it's for sure written and directed by men so like). I absolutely 100% believe that Goncharov and Katya as a couple cannot have children.

It's really conspicuous when you start looking for it. Obviously all the times Katya tries to make her husband food, always always traditional russial food, she's so clearly trying to cling to a traditional family life when it absolutely is crumbling in front of her. And idk if she's literally infertile or if Goncharov just won't sleep with her or what, that's a whole other discussion tbh, but I think Katya wants, or believes she should want, to have children. When her brother Valery pops up he makes these comments about their house being quiet, immediately followed up by talking about his own wife being pregnant again — very clearly implying like "why don't you have kids??". And once you look at the cinematography with this perspective in mind you can really see how shots of Katya and Goncharov are framed in these like kind of wide shots that really would make a lot more sense if there were kids in the shot, and like. Her walking past the playschool? The bit at the market where we see the mother and daughter, and then pan to Katya all by herself? Come on.

Which brings me to Sofia's character. And yes again we all love to read this relationship as sapphic af and this theory isn't necessarily incompatible with that? But basically fundamentally Sofia is written as a parallell to Katya. Really well portrayed in this image by @mimiadraws:

And a HUGE aspect of that is the fact that Sofia has children and Katya does not. Sofia's effortlessness when it comes to the gelato and the anchovies compared with Katya's struggles with food throughout the film really underscore the food as a parallel to motherhood to me. Katya sees in Sofia something that she does not believe she can ever have: this figure of the effortless woman, doing what she believes a woman is supposed to be doing: having children, making food, having a "normal" domestic life. Interestingly we never actually see inside of Sofia's own home, and we barely meet her children. But Katya still projects this perfect version of herself onto Sofia. (Which like I honestly think makes the sapphic reading more interesting? Who among us has not struggled to recognize wether we wanted to be her or be with her?)

And then you have Katya and Goncharov's final scene together, finally effortlestly eating together at the market. They have both finally embraced Naples and left their old life behind, and only then can they fulfill this element of their relationship...

Anyway Katya is pregnant when the movie ends. Change my mind. (You can't.)

[haleigh-sloth]

Hi. So please please do not answer this if it’s a trigger for you and do take care of yourself, but did Endeavor rape Rei? The new episode seems to really place emphasis on the way he looked at her when he wanted more kids, and it seems like that’s how the animators wanted you to read it. But I don’t like it. It feels like it doesn’t fit Endeavor’s arc - he’s never called on it, he doesn’t end up in jail or have any consequences, and Rei doesn’t treat it as something that happened. I’m dumb and have a hard time reading between the lines so I was wondering if you had any thoughts on this.

I don't really know what to say.

The idea of marital rape being a part of their circumstances is not new information.

This is not subtle in what it implies the circumstances of Natsuo's and Shouto's births were:

Just so we're clear--violence and force do not have to be present for it to be non-consensual.

I don't really want to go into detail about how it's non-consensual because I've already talked about it here, and so has @redphlox here.

But I'll say that it's not new and it does fit Endeavor's arc. Simply because...it's always been there. The anime didn't drop this on us, we've always known.

Endeavor doesn't get called on hardly anything btw. I mean, look at canon right now and look at peoples' initial reaction to Dabi telling his story. Nobody really cared, and the ones that did initially faced it with denial and despair at the thought of having to let go of their ideal Endeavor. Jeanist? Literally does not care, at all. Hawks? It's more complicated than simply "not caring", but really and truly, from Touya's and other peoples' perspectives looking in? It looks like Hawks doesn't care, regardless of what we as readers know about Hawks that the characters don't.

But if we're talking about this issue with their marriage specifically, Rei is not about to call him on anything, even though she has the right to. She entered the sham of a marriage and brought kids into a family that had them for just, awful reasons, maybe except for Fuyumi--not that it matters. Rei feels guilty because of this, as she's there taking responsibility for her part in the family's problems.

Honestly, it is a very testy subject because at the end of the day, this aspect of their past is just not focused on afterward. We don't have much internal narration from Rei (yet), and Endeavor isn't written to think on this. The very obvious implications are there, but I don't expect Hori to give it focus outside of the flashback later on as the story progresses. The purpose of showing it in the flashback was to portray how sinister and disturbing their entire situation was. It's just overall very, very fucked up.

There are cultural things to consider as well. While I don't cite laws when discussing what's abuse and what's rape and what's what, I can say that the reason a Japanese character is not thinking on this may be due to Japanese laws surrounding this anyway. The law itself means nothing to me personally, because it is what it is whether it's "legal" or not. But possible explanations as to why it's portrayed a certain way do exist.

[phoenixislost]

(1/3) Hi! I just wanted to say that I’ve been thinking about your fic again. You manage to write the topic of trans pregnancy so well, how do you do that? There’s probably a certain level of authenticity because of your experience a trans man, but I also notice a lot of thoughtfulness being put into this story. Trans pregnancy might be considered as a hard or taboo subject, but you manage to portray it as any other experience that some people go through.

(2/3) It’s written as equal parts beautiful and also difficult. Also, were you worried on how others might received a topic like this? from what i get from the story is that its not so much as pregnancy/having a child itself that bothers xiao but more so the changes from his ideal body image and having to correct others regarding the terminology (correct me if im wrong), and also the possibility of them having more kids being implied (which i honestly feel excited about!) (3/3) how do you approach the topic in a positive light and be mindful that it’s not a one-size-fits-all situation? and whats the correct terminology thats okay for the readers? i see other authors use strictly masc/feminine/interchangeable terminologies in regards to a trans character’s position as parent, so what do you think is the correct way to address them especially when considering the different types of trans perspective? (sorry if my question seems super duper lengthy :'))

My answer ended up a bit long, so read it under the cut ;A;

So, the biggest thing about writing History for me was that it was very much just for me at the time. With that in mind, I went about it the way that I personally would have wanted to be approached in such a situation. I wanted to explore this topic as a way to explore my own feelings on the matter, and maybe rationalize them. But where I could not pull from my own personal experiences, I researched others' experiences. I read articles and case studies, sought out public interviews, and looked for medical resources (that are slowly being compiled, which is awesome)! And the thing is - trans pregnancy is something that some people go through! More often than many realize, even. It's just simply pregnancy, but with parents who happen to be trans (and therefore might have some extra baggage to work with).

When I did finally decide that I would share the fic, I 100% worried about how it would be received. This fic was (and still is) my baby, and was written with only the best intentions. But there will always be the concern that I misstepped somewhere, or did not approach something delicately enough. (And particularly with the darker topics). I also worried that fellow trans men might have issue with the story. Not everyone in the trans community is particularly open to these topics in fiction, for one reason or another. But, so far, I have only had one anonymous person harass me, and everyone else who has approached me has been lovely about the story - some even found some relatability in it, which brought me so much joy to find out!

Regarding terms and the "one-size-fits-all" issues - my motto is to go by a case-by-case basis. I cannot speak for other writers, or even other trans people, but I go by what the person prefers. In Xiao's case, he has presented as a man for most of his life and for all intents and purposes is a man. For him, it was important to be seen as a father, and not a mother. That is the case for a lot of trans fathers, from my experience (and it is my own preference, as well). But gender is a spectrum, and our experiences with it vary even amongst cis people. So what might fit one person, might not fit another; and that is also perfectly valid. Any story that might take a different approach is okay, as long as it is well-intentioned (in my opinion, at least). There is the question of some tropes, like A/B/O, where gender is usually cis-normative, and I will say that it does personally squick me when a father is referred to as "mother" if they birth the children; but these are not intended to be trans stories, so I would never say that they are transphobic or otherwise problematic. To each their own, honestly. Tldr; just ask what the person prefers!

In some small regards to future children in this series: I cannot confirm nor deny. c: But I am currently writing the sequel, and have the third story planned and outlined as well. So - you'll just have to see!

Asks like this always make my day ;A; Thank you so much! (And so sorry for the long-windedness, omg).

[hamliet]

Do you think the changes they made in HOTD were positive changes? The dynamic between Rhaenyra and Alicent was really great in HOTD. So much so that I wish it was that way in canon. Thoughts?

That one was a very positive change, but the way it was executed--substituting Laena and Rhaenyra's canon relationship for Alicent and Rhaenyra's--was not. LET THERE BE BOTH. Ahem. I actually think the story benefits from Rhaenyra/Laena then getting together because it only adds conflict and drama.

Aging up the characters was a good change. Laenor and Rhaenyra's friendship portrayed was also good, and I like that Laenor lives for now, but I am doubtful that this will work out well within the story. It might have ramifications later on that are a bit questionable.

Aemma's birth scene was actually good itself for the story, but again, my issue with Aemma's birth scene is the same as my issues with the scenes below: it's very hard to give any HBO Game of Thrones franchise the benefit of the doubt when it comes to how it treats women and women's pain given 1) how GoT ended, and 2) knowing this story ends the same way it began: with the butchering of a woman. That said, Rhaenyra's story is very, very clearly framed tragically so far, which is necessary. The problem is that with GoT's ending the way it is, it just gives a "lol women's pain, ain't it a shame" message. The story will have a much harder time succeeding after their failure with Dany's story, because I have argued Dany's story ending differently is necessary.

Daemon grabbing Rhaenyra by the throat? Not so much. Aegon r*ping a girl? Again, I'm not sure it was really necessary, but at least they focused on her pain and Alicent's perspective, which is like... the bar is underwater but they at least cleared it there? I guess? Aegon is a philanderer and is implied to sexually harass/assault in terms of touching servants in the books, which is kind of important to his character given the sexist themes of the story and Gaemon Palehair later on, but I don't know how they could portray that in a way that wouldn't raise eyebrows given GoT's history of horrific treatment of women. Ditto for Joffrey's death--it makes sense for the medium for it to be a quick thing on screen rather than long and drawn out like in the book. However, GoT didn't treat its queer characters with respect, so... not many will want to give HotD the benefit of the doubt. Plus, the manner in which Joffrey died--basically, Criston getting 0 consequences--breaks the worldbuilding a bit.

But my biggest complaint is the handling of Aemond killing Luke, which I've written about ad nauseum, and the general way they tried to remove character agency. It seems like an overreaction/misunderstanding of what the issue with GoT actually was, which wasn't "oh they're so unlikable" but instead the sheer removal of humanity. Stark humanity even in its cruelest characters had been the show's appeal.

My biggest fear going forward is that they might cut Sara Snow. If they cut Sara Snow, I will go full dracarys.

[keiriiz]

I mean you can dislike yandere Chrollo, and how he is mostly portrayed on here, but that isn’t gonna stop those of us that enjoy it. That’s why it’s common to see Chrollo that way, because people make content for it, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Just like how you enjoy him in a specific way, not all will share the same sentiment. That’s why if you want to see more content that you like, you have to create it. You can’t wait for others to do it, and get in your feels from not seeing content you like. It goes both ways.

You should post your headcanons. No one will judge you. Some will agree, others will partially agree/disagree, and then you’ll have those that will disagree. You can’t please everyone. Focus on what you want, and you’ll encourage others to post their views. It’s good to have different perspectives of Chrollo, it helps to see him in different ways, and not just one.

Hello anon! I never meant to imply that other’s couldn’t enjoy that version of him, sorry if I did. Nor am I getting in my feels about it. I just wanted to share my disliking and why it kinda makes me shy to talk about him on here.

Tumblr seems to be the main place where that version of him is most talked about. I’ve found it much easier to share my views on Instagram and Twitter/X. I have been wanting to share my headcanons and writing on here for a while as I don’t expect others to do so for me. Such as 90% of reader inserts being female. I want to write Chrollo with a MAN! Cis or trans, I like both as a transman myself. (Also I’m not saying I don’t think he’d be interested in women as I believe gender doesn’t fully matter to him. I’m just stating a fact that it’s hard to find anything on him with anyone other than a female insert. I wholeheartedly appreciate those who write the reader as gender neutral.)

I actually have been writing Chrollo fanfiction and talking about him for years now, just haven’t shared too much on here. However I will probably put up links when I post my Phantom Troupe prequel fic “Spiders”.

I guess I will make two posts starting out, one for my general headcanons on Chrollo, and another for romantic/relationship headcanons and go from there. After I post them, if I feel comfortable I might do more or expand on certain topics, especially if someone asks 🛐

[bisluthq]

I was curious about what you thought was the difference between like Jake VS Harry in terms of sex, mainly because that (from an outside perspective) seems to be a driving force as to why both those relationships lasted so long.

The vibe I've always gotten is that she and Jake "mAdE lOvE" and that probably freaked him out a bit. The implied stuff in the All Too Well short film is quite soft, and the way she portrays him in it gives me BIG commitment/intimacy phobe vibes.

And then obviously once they were hooking up after the fact she felt quite shameful about it, and the chemistry wasn't as strong as it had been because they both felt kind of shitty about it (if the 10 min version is anything to go off - also I know you at least used to be a Jake IKYWT truther and the implied sex in that seems to have a very shameful aftermath). But like the initial stuff was very like lovey-dovey.

Harry is the one I kind of blank on. It seems like they were still actively fucking after they broke up without much of the shame, or at least not in the same way. Wildest Dreams and "Slut!" (Which while not fully about Harry show her perspective on sex at that point) seemingly see her trying to justify a relationship being primarily sexual, because this person will remember her (though she's nervous that they actually won't and it will have been meaningless, because although the woman's prolific, she's a lover girl at heart).

I feel like the songs from this era is also one of the first times she acknowledges her... Skills. We get remnants of it in 2010 Sparks fly, and the promise of something great in I Can See You, but that's nothing in comparison to "you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor/you search in every model's bed for something greater" so I think if nothing else they were having a good time. I think the contrast between her begging to be remembered on 1989 and even Speak Now and her constantly being haunted by/thinking she's haunting him with memories of their relationship on Red is interesting.

So is Complicated Freak which is imo very much a Haylor song. Like he sings about a relationship primarily based on sex... Where they've both been out and about... That he can't stop thinking about... And he wrote it in the 2010s. Not damning but it fits. Also it includes the line "you lost your head, so I'll give you mine," which I both really enjoy and think is dirty in a very Taylor-esque way.

I think she fell very hard and very fast for Jake and it was super romantic and she thought he was The One and he was the best sex she’d had up till that point because John’s a total freak and her and Joe J didn’t have full on sex and Jake’s more of a feminist and shit than like Martin and obvi was more experienced than any HS experiences she’d had so it was very 😍😍😍 for her. And I think he also liked her a huge amount. But ultimately like the age gap was an issue for him - according to 10 minute ATW and also like because he’s a dick but he’s not an idiot and 40/30 is no big deal but 20/30 is tbh and by her own account she was immature and I don’t think he knew exactly what he wanted but I don’t think he liked being a “daddy” so like idk he was just confused lol and so was she and they kept going back to it because she really loved him and he kept going back to it because he cared for her really deeply and found her hot but didn’t really want to be together (hence the commitmentphobic vibes we get from her portrayals of him). Idk I think dudes that age who date much younger generally don’t want to get married but also that doesn’t mean they’re soulless monsters. I think that’s what we see in her portrayal of Jake. He cared but he wasn’t willing to marry her or anything and she was 20 and in Real Love for the first time and thought he would want that kind of thing especially as he was lovebombing her.

Harry was a good time but I also think seemed like it’d work on paper and when it didn’t she got sad but like he was a good time so she kept seeing him for a while longer because it was easier than trying to find a new teenager to fuck.