#this is so incoherent also its midnight lol

[wonderbutch]

Hi ! I read your post about the mischaracterization of batfam members, could you expand more ? And how do you choose which characterization is "the right" ? I feel like comics are so old that first characterizations are too simple or over used.

But maybe, it is just not on board with dc merchandising plan...

Thanks you !

I WOULD LOVE TO EXPAND MORE but please keep in mind i havent read batfam comics in a HOT MINUTE but lets gooo.

for starters, the way i personally choose which characterisation to follow is the one that is most consistent within comics, which can be tricky, ill be the first to admit. but if your character basis is off of a headcanon you saw on tumblr/a thing you saw in one comic, you are bound to be just. holding onto nonsense.

now lets talk about how characters are talked about, characterised, and seen within fandom.

lets use dick grayson, aka nightwing, as an example. in the current comics, and in fandom, he is often depicted as the ray of hope and sunshine always happy in a gritty dark world. while this may be true to an extent to his character now, it certainly wasn’t the case when he was first becoming nightwing, and as robin. so many times i see batfamily fics set during the time where jason has just become robin that depict dick as the happy go lucky guy that loves everyone and is a ray of hope and love all the time. in reality (ha!) he was angry, he had just been fired as robin was constantly fighting with bruce, coming to terms with his emotions and feelings about being a vigilante, and dealing with interpersonal relationships. he was by no means acting all happy and sunshine. he loved jason, yes, but he certainly wasn’t hanging around wayne manor idly cracking jokes with bruce. however, as he grew into the nightwing title, he became more mature and less broody, but was still definitely a bit angsty and angry. definitely not the way hes often portrayed by fandom.

moving on, lets talk about jason. this is where comic characterisation really fucks up today. everyone, including fans and writers alike, love to present the idea that jason todd was “the angry robin”. from his first appearances, we KNOW this isnt true. he was full of love for life and adventure and enjoyed school a great amount. he grew up on the streets and had somewhat of a temper, yes, but this was usually to do with people who did great harm to others (for example, the ring at the beginning of death in the family) not because he was actually full of rage always. he was traumatised, yes. but full of hate and rage? definitely not. 80s comics are in that sweet spot where dialogue and storylines are darker and more serious, so its safe to count on jasons robin run as a pretty good place to reference jasons character as robin.

now, with tim drake, he is often depicted by fans as a coffee addicted technology genius mad scientist type character. i have so many problems with this for so many reasons. firstly, shut up about the coffee for the love of rao it has no basis in canon at all. secondly, although tim is talented and intelligent, a concerning amount of fans (and writers/comics, im looking at you, detective comics 2016) looove to say and depict tim as being “the smartest batfamily member”. this is just. so false that it’d almost be funny if it wasnt rooted in sexism (and perhaps ableism). that title will ALWAYS belong to barbara gordon. id love to go into detail about why people treat barbara gordon as second rate to tim but i think thats gonna be for another post. also, tim is literally a high school dropout!! as for the mad scientist thing, PLEASE read any other comic than red robin for your basis of tim drake characterisation. that depiction of tim is because of a very dark time in his life, he most definitely is not like that all the time 24/7.

cassandra cain’s fanon characterisation is probably one of the things about fandom that pisses me off the most. in fics, shes portrayed as this mute girl that loves batman and all his methods completely and has never disagreed with him ever. truthfully, as shown in her batgirl run during the 2000s (read it its so so good) cassandra cain is an 18 year old who has limited speech due to being raised without any spoken language whatsoever. instead, she was raised as a living weapon designed to kill whoever david cain asks. shortly after she kills her first person she is horrified, fleeing to the streets and eventually coming across barbara gordon who decides to take her in and give her the batgirl mantle. she then encounters a psychic who is able to give cassandra the ability to understand and speak english. her speech is short, often shown as short direct sentences sometimes with ellipses when she cannot think of and/or verbalise a certain word. however, she loves to talk and express herself and read books, even if it is difficult for her. for these reasons, i would consider her to be semi verbal and neurodivergent. as for being portrayed as The Biggest Batman Supporter Ever, in her comic run she is often seen directly disobeying batman, and has said point blank that she isn’t loyal to him, but to the batman mantle and symbol itself, taking the no killing rule extremely seriously. although she is one of the characters to obey the no killing rule the most and in its entirety, she most certainly isn’t bruce wayne’s/batman’s biggest supporter nor does she agree with everything he does or even his methods. that title would probably go to damian wayne, believe it or not (again, for another post) but, for these reasons i also consider cassandra cain to be the best choice for who gets to inherent the batman mantle.

this post is getting way too long but uhh those are my thoughts and feelings on certain batfamily characters and how they are mischaracterised by fandom and sometimes comics! i hope u found this informative lol.

[stitchwraith-stingers]

(some-what of) an analysis on patty possom(?)

inspired by this post on the PE-AZ yes this episode is my fave yes i unironically love patty yes i was a fnaf kid yes i am utterly deranged

some of these r incoherent because its midnight and i wanna post this as fast as possible before i go to bed and wake up at the crack at dawn

yayyy patty ^_^

one of the first things ive noticed post becoming alive like the next frankeinstine is that her eye wasnt fixed by the mechanics, which as ill discuss later imply a sort of negligence (? i think) to the properly, i however dgaf and like to interperate this as her having a lazy eye <3

she seems to be a genuially nice person!!!! um . i dont know how to continue this paragrapth pretend theres something here thats interesting

imagine being born into the world and already having a dreadful fear of being abandoned. crazy, mustve impacted her very hard

though this probably means it gave her fake memories or she was already sorta vaugely away of whats happening?? like psudo sentient?? if that makes sense, how the hell do you know this girl, you havent BEEN to the devils sacrament

the way she goes about it and the ending shows that she has no clue on how to socialize or their cues at all, or just cuz of the pov its intentionally shown as more creepy (which it probably is, you could hear her go "where r u going :(" in a sad tone), shes a massive werido and i love her for that

point is, shes nice but has no idea how to say "nooo dont leave me haha" normally cuz she just appeared 2 seconds ago with no idea of proper communication, does that make sense..... help

heres the thing i love about this the most, shes at the end of the ep shes seen dragging background character #47 in the same tone of voice and hes seen uncomfortable. PAN TO THE NEXT SLIDE IN WHICH THEY SEEM OK IN THEIR PRESENCE

LIKE . THE GUY JUST ACCEPTS HER HAND TO HOLD WHEN SHES SHOCKED..... THEY R BESTIES AND IM TIRED OF PPL OVERLOOKING IT, and the fact that i dont think we get to see him again (cuz they couldnt fit him anywhere in the background? i think) makes it better for me, balding old guy notices furry twice his size scared of being left alone so he decides to stay here just for her.... MANNN

the general area

lets see, were right off the bat were introduced to a good few places, the fun tunnels, the game zone, a claw machine thats rigged, the place with the signature snack which i wont go over because thats kinda of its own gag but its sticky and probably unhealthy, and the main stage

i assume the fun tunnels are made with a holograpthic effect inuniverse, and i think theres some LED lights in there to make it glow, i was going to say its polyethylene plastic but i dont think that exists google stock photos lied to me, also not related but it looks like a horrible spray paint job was done on this thing lol

also acording to the lyrics theres supposed to be 3 more members, a raccoon, cat and turtle . i dont think we see craggle in photo though rip (if theyre not a sphyinx ill be dissapointed), tyrone seems to have a 60's? aesthetic going on, rascal has a punk aesthetic going on and patty has a more modern aesthetic ? i think, the spiked collar is throwing me off

from winns dialouge in the start implying that they havent been here in a good while ("when i was little" ur in 5th grade) and the fact that their instruments are still there, then this was probably a recent desicion, or atleast long enough for a 10 y/o that hasnt been here in awhile to be upset by this and for patty to be immediatly spawned in with abandonment issues

along with a rigged claw machine and the snack i think it implies that the people over there who own this establishment are probably really cheap, and the fact that the PRAMBY snack is really sticky is definatly going to cause some health issues down the line, something something fazbear entertainment

oh and also, theres like a split second frame where this shows up, obviously its just there as a morbid joke but atleast it shows us this establishment is atleast old enough to have someones decaying body be bone by now, which after writing that makes me sound stupid because skeletonization might not take as long as i thought it would ("3 weeks to several years" depending on the surroundings)

whoever was there seemed to have been stuck for 25 days at least and has gone undetected, which means this place is linked to one unsolved missing persons case and they dont have a clue (most likely), also theres ballpit balls inside this thing i fucking guess?? theres no actual ballpit in the place idk what this kid was doing

i have tried to make up a map of how the place looks but im always bad with rooms ? and i had to take a fewwww small creative liberties with this cuz i couldnt figure out where theyd be but close enough👍👍

[knicks-knacks]

wait a min who 👀 is Wistoria 👀👀 (i am wondering :)

HGFDSJGJ I love that writing that tag I was like "Krch is gonna ask about them" fdjgkhdfjk that's perfect im going to hug you

So!!! Wist!!! She's my Forsaken OC bc I just really love the deaders and think zombies are cool and think that there is a lot to be done with like... lore bits of the forsaken and you know how much I love my lore bits.

The most concise way I can describe her is she's a Forsaken fashion designer and skin stitcher/bone-engraver who specializes in designing fancy clothes that shows off the exposed or rotting bits of the Forsaken, in an effort to kind of help the people who feel dysphoric about their not-quite-dead bodies and to show people that they can embrace those things they deem "ugly" and make them beautiful, rather than hide them away in shame. However, she wasn't always so willing to embrace it herself.

More on that in the less concise story under the cut lol it got long on accident

(heads up: this characters pronouns are she/they and I use them super interchangeably throughout this. also sorry this took so long to type i got distracted and also wanted to try and cover it the best I could!)

tw for: the typical mentions of bones and missing body parts/rotting flesh typical for forsaken in WoW though nothing too graphic. and also death but her being a zombie that's a given

So, Wistoria herself, before she passed, she was a well-known seamstress in Lordaeron! Born into a noble family (though not high, her parents were only lord/lady), and growing up seeing all the pretty clothes, they pretty quickly learned they wanted to focus themself on that, and their parents supported them in that. After training under a mentor since youth she ended up getting REAL damn good at making clothes - both simple and elaborate. Eventually became the favored tailor to a lot of the nobility. It kind of helped her family climb the political ladder, making dresses and suits for the baroness and the marquis etc. She also loved dressing up herself!

She's a very kind and patient individual, always excited to hear about a client's day or what's going on in their life, though she's quite reserved about herself. They're kind of... quietly charming if that makes sense. Not charming in a way that Flynn Fairwind is, but more in an Anduin-type way? Not the type you'd take for a night out at the bar, more the type you'd have a long personal conversation with over warm tea in a dimly lit coffee shop. Comforting. Fitting sessions are almost like low-key therapy sessions because she feels rather cozy and easy to talk to about troubles - though they're not a therapist lol.

Also a tidbit that I just think is cute - she's taken some training in being a mage! It helps her with her sewing and they are a mage in game so I thought it fit perfect lol

anyways she gets murdered by the scourge and raised again and gets saved by Sylvanas etc etc etc

Due to the way that their corpse rotted, they lost the flesh of their lower jaw, and their chest, leaving her jaw and ribcage exposed.

At first, she was rather horrified by her appearance - as most forsaken are. It scared them to not look like... themself. And even surrounded by other forsaken whose bodies were just as bad off as hers if not worse, she still felt rather uncomfortable with those exposed bones. They typically wore a veil or a poncho to cover themself up as best as they could.

She continued making clothes. Threw themself into the cause to help the newly formed Forsaken. Salvaged cloths from graves to try and make wearable stuff. Helped sew up other forsaken at times, if it was urgent. But mostly helped in making clothes (and sometimes armor) for the people when they needed it.

Then, after the scourge was defeated and they made their new home in Undercity, and things started to shift into a New Normal, they gradually started going back to their roots a bit. Fancier, more dressy clothes. She also frequently ended up making adjustments to clothes she made in the past that old clients managed to salvage - what once fit perfect now didn't, due to lost limbs and lost muscle/fat. And of course, she was happy to restore those old clothes for the client, whatever she could do to help, but those were sometimes a rough job. It kind of brought a bunch of negative thoughts to the forefront when they did them. Their old life was gone and nothing would be the same, their body is no longer the same. Perhaps these clients come to her for alterations on old living clothes because they can't let go of the fact that they're no longer living. That sort of thing. Makes her deeply sad both for the whole of the Forsaken and for herself.

That changes though, as I said.

Soon after they had been saved by Sylvanas, they met Leila - a blood elf. They grew close, then closer, and you could Tell there was a fuck ton of romantic tension there from the start. Over time, Leila kind of helped Wistoria get their confidence back - because if she could love them, they could love themself too. She was still reserved about the way she looked, and still hid it all the time, but then there was a moment that kind of opened her eyes.

So uh, Leila and Wistoria had been out picking flowers that they planned to preserve and use in a dress. While out, Wist managed to slip and fall into a mud puddle and so had to change, but something about That Day she was particularly uncomfortable with her body. They turned away from Leila, and Leila pointed out to them that they didn't have to do that around her - she'd seen it all before anyway. And Wistoria commented how they didn't want to disgust her or anything. Leila frowned at her for a moment and then asks Wistoria to turn to her because she wants to do something. Wist hesitates a moment but from Leila's tone of voice, she knew that it was okay to let her see. Then Leila took some thread, and the flowers they'd just picked together, and - with permission - began tying and weaving them into and through Wistorias ribs. She filled their whole chest cavity meticulously with leaves and flowers and thread. She carefully tied a snapdragon upside down on their sternum. Then, she rummaged for a while through Wistorias fancy clothes, found a jacket, found a skirt, helped Wist get dressed.

Then, when she was finished, she turned Wistoria around and had them look in a mirror. No veil, no cover, just their body and how beautiful it was. Wistoria, of course, ends up crying, because it had just been so LONG since she dressed herself up. She hadn't been able to look at herself naked for longer than a second since she was raised, but now she couldn't stop taking it in, and how pretty it was, and how inspiring.

Leila and her have a long talk, after that, about loving herself and seeing that she didn't need to look like her living self to be beautiful. That her body wasn't this disgusting or uncomfortable thing that she needed to hide or be ashamed of, even with the missing parts.

After this, they still take time to regain their confidence, of course. But with support from Leila (and a lot of my other ocs lol) they get to the point that they love themselves again. They get their bones engraved, and they end up loving it so much that they take it up themself. She dabbles into decorative stitching on skin, something she had shied away from at first. Her clothes start reflecting her comfort, she stops wearing the veil and the cover, wears jackets with no shirt. Until eventually they're designing dresses that are cut specifically to showcase her missing parts. Like a boob window but with no boob, just skeleton!

Eventually, she becomes known for being the best person to come to when trying to get dress clothes that cater to specific missing bits. She makes capes with slits down the middle to expose the spine sticking out. They make one leg on a pantsuit sheer to see the bone. She makes gloves that hook onto the radius and ulna.

She's also a good person to go to if you want some flowers engraved on your bones. :)

Overall she's just. They struggled a lot with being raised but ended up being so proud of the Forsaken and what they've been through, and they end up just being. A real positive force to them bc I've always seen clothes and appearance really important to someone's self-image, at least to me. She wants others to feel as good in their skin, what little they have of it, like she finally does. And it took them a while to get there but they got there and I'm so proud of her 😭🥺🙌

[hollandorks]

BESTIE OMG THE EPILOGUE

(EPILOGUE SPOILERS AHEAD)

FIRST OF ALL, I KNEW THEY’D BE ENGAGED BY THE EPILOGUE!! when i read the line about him wanting to marry her i was like OOOOO ITS COMING! Y/N ASKING ALFRED TO WALK HER DOWN THE AISLE AND BRUCE ASKING HIM TO BE BEST MAN 😭😭 CRYING (and i love that it’s his mom’s ring!! i expected that but ugh i love it)

GIRLBOSS DRIVING THE BATMOBILE AGAIN/ALL THE TIME NOW!! I LOVE IT!

ofc she helps him now 😌 there was no way she wouldn’t! also love that she’s staying true to edna mode’s words and refusing a cape 🤪 and very glad bruce is making sure she stays protected/bulletproof! (although there’s no way he wouldn’t lmao)

“Sometimes, when she wanted to be funny, she stole Bruce’s eye makeup and wore that, too. It always earned her a smile or a rolling of his eyes.” JDKSHKSJA I LOVE THIS

HER RESTAURANT AHHHHH THATS SO PERFECT!! every single detail about that is just sooo perfect

i love the way they work in conjunction so well 🥺 the fighting together, the way she takes off his armor while he continues to journal, etc. they’re so precious

“Congratulations on the engagement, by the way,” Gordon said with a flash of a smile. He glanced at Bruce. “Looks like you were too slow, buddy.”

^ THIS MADE ME LITERALLY LAUGH OUT LOUD

the conversation about wishing their parents could come to the wedding 😭🥺 aww

shelby i’m literally tearing up i don’t want it to be done!! 🥺 lol what am i gonna do with my life besides sending you incoherent asks screaming about every line i love!

the epilogue was so perfect! sorry i didn’t have much to say except for the fact that i loved it!

i love that you’re getting convinced about taylor swift! and omg your out of body experience when you heard afterglow! i love that (that is like THE bruce and y/n song in my mind) and then not specifically for this chapter but for the couple in general, my song rec is You Are In Love by Taylor Swift :) also, My Heart’s Always Yours by Arkells

again, i can’t believe motn is done 😭 i’m so so excited for the blurbs and sequel and literally just any content you’ll make in the future (including a potential neil fic 😉)

thank you so much for your writing!! love u bestie 🖤🥺

🖤

***EPILOGUE SPOILERS***

Couldn't help getting them engaged!! Their feelings are just so intense for each other (I mean they both literally keep trying to die for each other) that I knew marriage would happen fast-ish. It just makes sense! 🥰

Also glad you liked the eye makeup part 😂 I feel like this reader is going to turn into a serious prankster lmao

And Gordon steals the scene again!! I swear when I go to write him Jeffrey Wright is just like whispering the lines in my ear as weird as that sounds 😅

I don't want it to be done either though 😭 (obviously since I am immediately writing a sequel lol)

Love that you send me TS songs and other song recs in every ask. Keep it coming I love it

Also apparently I've heard You Are In Love before and didn't know it! These lines in particular are so so good for this fic (and especially the epilogue!): "coffee at midnight/ the light reflects/ the chain on your neck" 🥺

Ajdjfjals that arkells song made me so soft for this fic!!! 🥺😭

Thank you so much bestie I love you 🥺🥰

[be-dazzled]

So are you doing smut prompts. If so, please do no. 6 for Gruvia. Love your works btw, you are an amazing writer.

Writer’s Corner: Hello anon! Thank you very much for sending this request. I think this has been requested ages ago and the anon isn’t probably around anymore. But got to fulfill your request! It was my first time writing detailed smut and I really think I should stick to my fluff. lol. Enjoy!

Also, I sound so thirsty, don’t I? I swear I am not. hahahaha

Prompt: No. 6 “No touching, no kissing, nothing. I will do with you as I please.” 

Rating: 18+ 

Series: Gruvia Smut 1/2; 2/2 

---

“Since when did I…” He tentatively brushed his lips against Juvia’s, playing on that fire that their much aggressive and possessive kiss created earlier. “ever followed the rules?”

Juvia gasped when Gray cupped her bottoms, feeling his heat against the skin that spilled over the lace panties. But she was rather more surprised with the challenging look he sported when earlier, he was acting quite disinterested. Her contemplation was quickly interrupted by the sliding of his hands under her thighs. She nearly screamed murder when Gray suddenly stood from the chair, lifting her up with him. Juvia threw both her arms around his neck to keep from falling off. The contact forced a moan out of her lips with breasts pressed against Gray’s bare chest. Feeling hot skin to hot skin. She became suddenly aware of the bulge in his pants grinding against the center of her lace panties. Juvia chewed on her bottom lip, her body reacting to the sensual friction with Gray’s every stride. Replaced only by the softness of the mattress against her bare back when Gray dropped her on the bed with a low thud. The old wood and spring sang as Gray moved them to the center of his bed. Hearing clothes rustling, Juvia forced her eyes open to find Gray undo his zipper.

The frown on his face relaxed. Then, his midnight eyes darkened by the searing passion. Juvia’s eyes widened at that realization that Gray lusted over her. It made her heart flutter. She’s never seen that look on him. Never. Juvia pushed herself to meet his gaze but she easily crumbled like a piece of cookie under his intense gaze. Juvia lost that battle. She covered her face with her arms, hiding from his intense gaze. Gray wasn’t having any of it. He grabbed her wrists, pinned them above her head and watch her intently, running his tongue over his bottom lip. The heat reached Juvia’ head, making her feel dizzy. But not enough for her to miss that knowing grin plastered across Gray’s hardened features. Juvia felt a myriad of emotions, heart exploding the moment the ice-make mage leaned down on her and whispered, “You’re mine, tonight.” His voice, a low rubble in her ears. “I will do with you as I please.”

Juvia felt his warm breath against her already flushed skin, just below her ear, the sensitive spot Juvia didn’t even know was one of her weaknesses. She pulled her hands free from his grasp but every time she tried, Gray tightened his hold onto them.

The weird part was it seemed that Juvia liked it.

“Gray-sama...” Her voice came out breathy and a little needy.

Gray traced a sinful trail from the crook of her neck down to the valley of her breasts, leaving little flames in its wake. He removed one hand to roam her body and let the other grip on Juvia’s wrists, keeping her hands hostage above her head. His free hand found her breast, earning a soft moan from the woman. Her reaction encouraged Gray to push his luck. Without warning, Gray dragged one of her breasts into his wet, hot mouth.

“Gray-sama!” she yelped. The unknown intensity forcing her to squirm beneath the man.

He ran his tongue over the hardened nipple, around and across. Juvia screamed. It didn’t stop Gray from his ministrations and did the same thing to her other breast. He looked up at her, at her shut eyes, enjoying the pleasure that flickered on her face. Gray finally let go of her hands; an act which she didn’t seem to notice. He took as much of her as possible into his mouth while his other hand now found the other lonely mound. She jerked her head, the back of it hitting Gray’s mattress. Body convulsing at the new but welcomed sensation. Gray stopped, however, before Juvia could even succumb to that pure hot intensity calling to her. He released her breast with a loud pop and began leaving feather kisses on her belly down to her pelvis and stopped at the band of her panties. Gray let out an exasperated sigh.

“Looks like we haven’t taken care of this yet.”

Gray rose to his knees, sliding his hands from her shoulders, her arms, the curves of her naked body. His eyes followed every inch of what he touched, committing everything to memory. It wasn’t the first time Gray has seen Juvia naked but he never dared to touch. He just didn’t know what he would do if allowed himself to even just be near her. But now, he was free to touch, he was free to claim her, he was free to ravish her.

Gray pushed Juvia’s thighs upwards, parted her knees so he could place himself between her legs. He threw the woman a glance, watching her breathe slowly and heavily through her mouth. He was about to break whatever self-control Juvia still had and Gray knew exactly how.

Gray hooked his arms under her thighs, swinging both her legs over his shoulder.

“Gray-sama?” Juvia’s tone was half-asking, half-moaning. She propped herself on her elbows, to see what Gray was up to; only to collapse right back on the mattress at the jolt of sensation that electrified her entire body. Gray was kissing the inside of her thigh, closer and closer until his lips found her core covered in thin, wet lace.

Juvia’s eyes shut close as she breathed his name; only to let the tension steam out of her body. And she gasped a little too loud when she felt the tip of his nose touch that sensitive spot, forcing her eyes open.

“Gray-sa-ahn.” She yelped as Gray closed his mouth over the lace crotch. Words failed Juvia when Gray started running his tongue over the thin garment still covering her core. Getting it wet, or wetter. She could only make sounds she never heard herself before, encouraging the ice-make mage to continue his ministration, taking it a little further. He sucked. He sucked on the sensitive wet skin with a loud sound that lit Juvia’s body on fire. She squirmed, a little movement could help ease out the tension brewing just below her belly. But Gray wasn’t having it. He was the boss. Gray clutched her hip, keeping Juvia exactly where he wanted her.

“Gray-sama… Juvia is… Juvia…”

Juvia screamed without sound. The sheer ecstasy of his lips and tongue on the bare flesh between her legs had Juvia arching her back, peeling her slightly off his mattress. The same intensity that reaped on her body shoved her back down, leaving Juvia to grab a fistful of the sea of blue around her, clutching and pulling the sheet and comforter in her need to… she needed to… Juvia didn’t even know what. She called Gray’s name, restlessly moving her head from side to side, a cloud of steam escaping from her blue waves. She begged him, pleaded with him, the whole time Gray Fullbuster ravished Juvia, strictly for both their pleasures. And Juvia could feel herself about to surrender to the pure white passion Gray was building inside her.

“G-gray-s-ama, Juvia… Juvia is-yaaahn!”

She blurted out, feeling heady, brain turning fuzzy from the hot pleasure. She couldn’t even think, spewing incoherent words and sounds. Until she stopped altogether, body succumbing to that strange feeling clenching below her belly. She opened her mouth but no words came out of it. Her eyes widened in confusion as her body acted and reacted, having a mind of its own. Legs instinctively shut, cutting Gray’s airway. But for Juvia, he’d suffer through anything. He stayed with her until the last wave of her first orgasm relaxed her back unto his mattress. She gasped for air, forcing oxygen into her lungs, eyes half-lidded. Gray took that opportunity to rise to his knees, kneeling between her legs. Slowly, Gray pushed the lace down her legs and on the side. Then, Gray paused to appreciate his masterpiece. Juvia was breath-taking, spread on his bed in her full glory.

“Your damn beautiful, Juvia.”

He watched her lids fly open. A sheet of sweat covered her flushed face, blue waves spread all around her. She was still catching her breath when her eyes grew wide in recognition. The pleasurable sensation slowly faded; replaced by myriad of emotions, rising above them was utter humiliation. Juvia covered her face with her hands, hiding from Gray’s lust-filled gaze.

“Don’t hide from me.”

“J-j-juvia is e-embarrassed, Gray-sama.” She confessed as Juvia slowly come back to her senses. Gray might have given her the first orgasm of her life but Gray hadn’t had the opportunity yet. Juvia glanced at him, worried about the thickening silence that washed over his bedroom.

“Are you nervous?”

Juvia only bobbed her head in response, shielding her face with her hands. Even when Juvia appear so bold in front of him, when it came down to it, when the moment finally arrived, Juvia didn’t understand why she was so nervous all of a sudden. Juvia thought she was ready for what was about to happen. But now that she was lying on his bed, a moment away from sharing a passionate night with her beloved, Juvia grew worried. It was something Gray expected. Understanding her hesitation, Gray slowly, pulled her hands away from her face so he could look Juvia into her eyes.

“I am too.”

Juvia had this expression in her face, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. That confused expression help Gray keep the burgeoning need at bay. He expelled a breath and his body relaxed.

“But this is something I want to do,” Gray dipped his head and placed a tamed kiss on her forehead. Then, he held her gaze with coaxing tenderness, “with you.”

He waited for her response. Gray wasn’t planning to force himself on Juvia if she wasn’t ready for it. But he held on the hope that she was ready to be this intimate with him.

“Juvia wants to do it with Gray-sama, too.”

If the situation wasn’t so dire and so urgent, Gray would have shouted for happiness. But it was. He was about to finally become one with Juvia. Gray pulled his erection out of his boxers, pushing the tight band down his legs and off to the floor. Slowly, he stroked his shaft, noting how Juvia seemed to be enjoying the view. Gray leaned down on her, guiding his rigid length to Juvia’s warm entrance.

“It’ll hurt a little.”

Juvia swallowed a moan as the bulbous head probed at her wet entrance.

“J-juvia will endure it. F-for Gray-sama.”

It took all of Gray’s strength to fight the urge to just slam into her, to shove his aching erection into Juvia’s passage. He had to do it slowly. As far as he was aware, this was Juvia’s first time. He wanted her to feel good and not scar her forever. So, if being gentle was the way with her, then gentle Gray would be.

But it was just impossible, with the way Juvia’s warmth clasped around his shaft. Inch by inch, he could feel Juvia stretch to receive him. Her walls sheathing him, clutching on him. She was so damn tight and that alone made Gray aware that he might finish first long before she could. Gray bit down on his own lip to fight the foreboding eruption until he was fully inside Juvia. Gray stay stilled on top of Juvia, studying the grimace on his woman’s face. He brushed away the tear that wet the corner of her eye. Then, he warned her of his next action, “I’m going to move now, Juvia.” He told her, to which Juvia nodded her understanding. Gray entwined his fingers with hers, pinning her hands above her head.

“You remember the rules, right?” He didn’t even let the water-mage answer. “No touching, no kissing, nothing.” Dropping an octave, Gray whispered his last warning. “I will do with you as I please.”

Then, slowly he moved on top of her, sliding in and out of Juvia’s tight body. When the expression in Juvia’s flushed face changed, Gray picked up his pace. Finding the perfect rhythm as his bed creaked under their combined weight. Her muffled cries only fueling the desire to drive the woman to her peak.

Juvia didn’t even understand how her body knew how to respond to Gray’s blatant move but she met all his thrusts, unashamedly rocking her hips against Gray’s. That seemed to earn groans, curses and strained mentions of her name from her lover. But Juvia was at the losing end, feeling that familiar, powerful culmination about to claim her once again. She tried to free her hands from his, finding the need to prolong the act. But Gray was adamant.

Juvia called out to him between cries – begging and pleading. But those only made Gray’s thrusts more forceful and merciless, feeding the primal hunger that turned Juvia’s lover into an insatiable beast.

Then, she screamed his name, the culmination finally came for her with a force that was more powerful and violent than the first. Soon, he followed after her. His need for her finally exploding into a cosmic end, tearing him a new. Even then, Gray didn’t stop moving, pumping into Juvia with short, sudden thrusts until nothing was left in him.

Gray collapsed on top of Juvia in boneless exhaustion. Both gasped for air as they lay on his bed, a tangled mess of sweat and skin. The fire between them retreating, flickering into a fading euphoria. But Juvia loved every moment of it. More so that it was Gray who she was with, exploring this new territory together.

RAMTBB Part 2.5

Gray woke up from his deep slumber, rested yet tired. He knew exactly why. He had a vivid recollection of the events of last night, painting a foolish smile on his face. His body was yearning for that same warmth he reveled in last night, the warmth that clung to him twice, thrice, four times. He didn’t even know he had the stamina to last for that long.

Gray extended his arm, eyes still shut close but lips pulled in a wide grin, seeking the bluenette that went to sleep with him last night. But she wasn’t there. There was no warm skin; only the coldness left by her absence. The ice-make mage sat right up, eyes frantically searching his room for Juvia, fearful that last night may turn out as just a dream. He sighed in relief, finding Juvia standing next to his dresser, fixing her hat over her head. The smile he had in his sleep morphed into a frown. Juvia was all dressed, up and ready for the day. Way to spoil his plan. Juvia first met his gaze through the mirror. Then, she spun around to greet Gray with a warm smile.

“Good morning, Gray-sama.” Juvia walked over to the bed and sat at the edge next to Gray.

“I thought we’re past that.”

“Past what?” Juvia distractedly asked, running her tongue over her bottom lip as her gaze drifted down his bare chest, which Gray gladly noted.

“Sama? I distinctly remember you dropping that…” Gray moved closer to Juvia, the white sheet he was covered in dropped to his hip. He noticed the way Juvia bit her lower lip, her hot gaze following the drop of his sheet. The flame in her eyes encouraged him to steal a kiss, “when you screamed my name.” and then another soft brush on the lips, just teasing.

A low moan escaped Juvia’s lips.

“Over… and over,” Gray continued trailing kisses down her neck, “and over… and over again.” Gray’s hands slid down her shoulders and then her arms, pulling Juvia to join him in bed. But Juvia stopped him, placing a hand on the solid plane of his chest.

“Gray-sama, before that…” She left his side to pick something out of her paper bag. Quickly, she returned beside Gray and presented to him something which looked like paper. “Gray-sama needs to fill up Juvia’s report card.”

Gray wasn’t sure if he heard her right. “I’m sorry, what?” So, he asked just in case,

“Juvia’s report card.”

Gray blinked at her. His morning erection falling limp in disbelief.

“Juvia’s dance teacher wants to know if she did things right.”

“Are you out of your mind?” He nearly screamed at her, eyes furrowing into his usual scowl. “I’m not gonna rate how you are in bed!”

“The report is for the dancing. Juvia already told you about this, Gray-sama.”

Gray looked at the insistent water-mage with bewildered eyes. He wasn’t sure if he should be more surprised at the fact that Juvia was actually asking him to grade her dance, which she hadn’t even finished because, well... they ended up doing something else, or how Juvia wasn’t even bothered by it.

“I’m going to go to sleep, Juvia.” He returned to his slumber, covering himself with his white sheet over his head. He lost his morning erection so what even was the point waking up that early?

“Gray-sama.” Juvia whined, kneeling on his bed to shake the sleeping man. “Juvia needs the report card.”

“Go away!”

“But Gray-sama–”

“–I’m going back to sleep, Juvia. Leave me alone.”

Juvia puffed a breath of exasperation. She obviously wasn’t going to get what she wanted, the report card. She glared at the sheet-covered ice-make mage. Something she never knew she could do. But after giving herself to him, Gray wouldn’t even do that small favor for Juvia. What a guy!

tags: @jetblackrevival @breatheeagainnnn

[15megapixels]

Childhood OCs & Comic Ideas # 1: Elemental Stones

/confused? check out my master post about this self project here/

Age when I made this: 8 or 9

Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy, (a bit of) Drama, Action

Heavily influenced by (i’m too ashamed to admit this but): hana kimi (the japanese live action one), naruto, atla – the start of my weeb days

disclaimer: i won’t be surprised if you’ll cringe a lot, but oh well

Story

Naho is a transfer student freshman of an all boys academy-dormitory. He is aware that he isn’t like everyone else in this school, much less of this world. Simply because he wasn’t from it. In his home world, people possessed a power coming from the foundational elemental stones, namely: fire, water, air, earth.

No one knows (yet) where the so called elemental stones came from, or how their world was separated from the humans’. Although the only thing that separates their people to us is the powers they have.

More or less, these powerful stones gave the home world that unique identity they know. Each element holder was tasked to lead their own tribes; tribes who lived peacefully and independently through the years, help each other out, and slowly expanding to more smaller tribes/ clans.

The peace was disrupted because of a decision made by one person, and this was Naho’s father, Dr. Akono, a scientist, inventor, and also the first holder of the fire element stone. When he knew he needed someone to take over his power so he could focus on his secret project (of the creation of hybrid of elemental stones from the shards of the other holders, and selling it in the black market), he decided to make Naho, and not his older brother, Absin, to inherit the fire stone.

Absin knew that his father’s decision should not be questioned, but at the same time he is incapable of just accepting it. He was enraged. He wanted answers. He wanted to know if he lacked the skills, or talent, or failed his tests– something. But his father only gave him a cold shoulder if the topic is ever brought up.

In that moment, Absin decided that if he wanted to get something done, he must do it by himself.

Absin, who also assists his father in the lab from time to time, had an access inside, sneaked to his father’s office at midnight and discovered the secret project. Absin found a hidden passage,that leads to a basement filled with boxes full of bead shaped stones that resemble the elemental stones, but filled dark substance instead. He didn’t think of finding documents to know what are these for.

All that came to him was a crazy idea, if he wish to fully experience the stones’ powers, he would not wear it like a piece of jewelry (like what the other holders/ people do in their home world), and he would rather consume it.

The following day, Naho, now wearing the fire stone around in his neck, woke up late and alone in his room (which is very odd for him because their family is a royal household) without the “breakfast in bed”, “i’ll dress you up young master”, and “this is your itinerary for today” routine bombarding him.

So, he dressed himself, went down to the halls, the kitchen, the dining area, the music room, etc. He called out of their servants’ names for minutes– but none answered him, the mansion was silent and no one was around, so he thought.

Until he arrived in their family library, where he was greeted by the corpses of his parents, deeply impaled by a black metal rod in each of their chests– Naho can’t take his eyes off of this awful sight, while Absin appears out of nowhere, drenched in blood, and patiently waiting for him to turn his back.

Fast forward, Naho’s brother challenged him for a fight, for the survivor to be the one worthy of their father’s throne, and for Naho to hand over the fire stone.

Both of them knew they were unstable for battle. Absin who was currently experiencing the side effect of ingesting experimental objects, and Naho, who lacked combat skills, yet, was very emotional; agreed to the challenge. Absin grins, and was confidently ready to obliterate his only sibling.

It all went too fast– all Naho remembered was how his brother looked like a demon and how darkness engulfed him when he was attacked– but was surprised he didn’t die.

Naho he woke up in a forest, in the smell of healing herbs, and found himself with a thing/person/being made out of black smoke who introduced itself as Master, who appears to have saved him from his death.

Master and Naho’s conversation was short, Naho was in shock that he was asleep for 7 months, and his brother (like what the fire nation in atla did) sent his army to centralize the power to their tribe, is creating monsters, and would not cease in bringing destruction unless he acquired all of the elemental stones.

Thus, the prologue ends and the story begins. After Master trained Naho to master his element, he tasks him to help in finding the other foundational elemental stone holders in order to stop his brother before their world collapses. Naho was of course up for the job, all for the sake of his parents and the future of their people. However, he was surprised that his journey would require him to go out of his comfort zone, again, and jump to a different world. The human world.

—–

Characters

note: i just threw all out of the important bits here. not much of a personality-wise description. sorry if its incoherent

Going back, Naho now enters in this all-boy-school because he heard rumors that he has two of his childhood friends who are studying there. There he meets:

Syo -  (water stone holder), who lived his childhood in their home world but was sent to the human world (likes some sort of foreign exchange student)

Sukiro  - (electricity stone holder), the stone he acquired was originally a family treasure, but stole it and traveled to the human world because he knew the stone only caused bad luck and destruction because of its impurity (later in my comic it is revealed that his family was the one who commissioned Dr. Akono in the first place to experiment with elemental stones).

Also, they meet other elemental stone holders as well like

Magski - (air stone holder), a lone wolf/ orphan from the air tribe, who won the air stone from a colosseum fight. Since then she was hailed as their queen and leader, the weird thing she experiences is, she doesn’t age and experiences memory lapse from time to time (but can’t pinpoint why)

Dyoli - (earth stone holder), he inherited the earth stone because he was an only child. He’s a die hard fan of Dr. Akono’s works. Despite being blind, this dork and genius kid is talented in creating machines, weaponry, and gadgets. He can only see through the eyes of his dog robot- with a well thought of name, Dyoli Jr.

Shaco - (darkness stone holder), she is a character similar to Syo, of her powers being impure. She is one of the lab rats of Absin who escaped and traumatized from his experiments. She then later developed a power to control paranormal activities– but joins Naho’s crew in search of a cure.

i don’t actually recall why I made their names end in Os and Is. *shrug*

—–

Fun facts!

Elemental Stones comic ran for 2 years because my sisters were very fond and hooked in this comic (which is weird because Ii noticed most of the chapters were Naho and the gang’s school lives together and filler episodes before I went back to the plot lol), and I enjoyed sketching action scenes.

I stopped because I pursued new comic ideas. Then in 2015, I made a cohesive origin story of the elemental stones, how the home world was established by the initiative Dr. Akono and of the first holders, Master’s  identity, ++ some surprise twists (like Magski being a time traveler).

That’s all for now. Whew!

[tumblunni]

Okay seriously but dr maddiman's story is SO SAD

His wife literally left him on april fools day!!! And he sat there waiting at the door and crying until midnight just in case it was a joke and she came back

AND THEN HE DIED

And we dont even know WHEN he died! His journals just slowly peter off into nothing after the depressing divorce day. Just "i need to work i need to work" and talking about how he doesnt take care of himself now he has nobody to live for and how he doesnt even remember why he's working anynore but he's scared if he stops working he'll remember that his family left him. And he doesnt know how to cook and he just makes shitty gruel out of whatever was left in the fridge after his wife left and he doesnt ever buy any more groceries and uhh.. Well.. At some point he died. He basically committed suicide by sheer denial. The goddamn diary about being unable to cook trails off into just repeating "tasty gruel" over and over in increasingly gnarled handwriting. And in japanese the word for gruel was a pun on another rather infamous depressing scienceman's last journal in resident evil. So while the dub wrote it out in full sentences instead the original was kinda like... Incoherant rambling of a guy who died mid sentence. Thats what the reference would immediately communicate to anyobe who'd played RE...

And man its just SO SAD cos even before he basically killed himself with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he ruined his own life with the same problem. He became distant from his wife and child because he loved them so much but he didnt know how to communicate it and he just ran away from all of his problems. He buried himself in his work to avoid facing the fact he was having relationship issues with his wife, which obviously just made it worse. And his whole work in the first place was from a stupid idea that he could "keep everyone i love safe if i take over the world". Like the idea of actually telling them he loved them and talking about his worries was SO IMPOSSIBLE that he jumped to an even more impossible solution as something easier! And then its so depressing cos oh man these diaries are like a constant stream of jokes about how this man is destroying himself from overwork and like seriously it was so bad that they had to censor a few of them in the dub. For example one about how he hadnt changed out of his lab coat in over two weeks so his wife mistook his laundry for nuclear waste and tried to friggin dispose of his boxers with a long stick and a flamethrower! Which the dub somehow thought was too gross even tho half of all yokai are just gross jokes lol. BUT SERIOUSLY They try and write it all comical at first but all this comical stuff causes realistic consequences of a rift between him and his family AND ALSO his health failing with every damn page you turn like holy fuckin shit. You cant blame his wife for leaving him, she didnt know he really did love her and was just running away from talking about his problems. God she must have suffered so much trying to raise the kid alone and not knowing WHY he seemed to leave her entirely and hate her more and more each day. And its implied that maddiman's research started getting all fanatical and supernatural even before he became a monster, and he wasnt even seeing regular patients at the hospital and like.. Doing his job... Receiving money of any sort. So man at some point yeah the poor lady would have to make the right choice to leave for the sake of their kid. It sounds like she tried so damn hard to get him to open up and just goddamn come home!!!

AND THE WORST PART IS THAT IT WORKED

Yknow not just in the literal sense where his shambling undead self is STILL SICK FROM HOW HE DIED and LITERALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE NOW

Oh god i just realized that maybe his inspiriting power is "heart swap" not because literally he's an evil scientist who wants to cut you up, but because HE WISHES HE COULD HAVE SHOWN HIS HEART TO HIS FAMILY WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!#!!!

and okay seriously THAT PART, THAT WORST OF WORST PARTS

Is that he did!!! He did try!! He did make the right choice!! He just kept running away for so long that when he decided to step up and be a good husband and father it was already too late. :(

He did decide to abandon his fanatical nonsense and just go home and show them he loves them. He closed up work early and bought a bunch of gifts for his family and came home hoping to surprise them and... Was surprised. At an empty house. And a note saying she'd already gone. On fuckin APRIL FOOLS DAY OF ALL DAMN DAYS so he SAT THERE SURROUNDED BY THE PRESENTS CRYING FOR HOURS HOPING IT WAS JUST A JOKE

And he just fell back even harder into his self harming conflict avoidance behaviours. He didnt try and call her and apologise, he didnt even go home ever again. He probably left the same bag of presents there on the table gathering dust even when he was dead. He just went back to work and kept working so hard that he didnt notice when he fell asleep and never woke up.

And thats why in the first game he seemed so much more evil but he was confirmed redeemable in future games and got all this heart destroying heartwarming bullshit beautiful goddamn writing AND ALSO THREE BABY TURTLES TO HUG. He just fuckin ran away from his problems so hard that he forgot he was ever human!! And he was stuck so much in this 'i must complete my ultimate science at any cost' mindset that he forgot why it was even important. And he was willing to make any damn sacrifices for something he didnt know was already useless cos HIS WIFE AND KID ARE PROBABLY DEAD NOW ANYWAY *sob*

Oh and then yokai watch 3 confirmed that yes at least his kid is indeed dead anyway. You can catch his yokai form too and HE BECAME A DOCTOR JUST LIKE HIS GODDAMN DAD!!!! They made up fpr not ever letting us have a playable maddiman by giving us a new yokai scienceman and HEY WHY NOT HAVE THE SADDEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THAT!!!! And in the quest that finaly confirms their connection HA HA WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST POSSIBLE TEASE WE COULD GIVE THE PLAYERS? Hey looks like Cliff inherited his dad's neuroses so instead of going to meet him he runs away from his problems. And thats just the end. The closest they get to reuniting is dr son guy leaving his dad a can of his favourite soda before he runs away. This was in the last set of dlc for the game and will probably never get a better conclusion unless the two of them return in a future game but the original anime series has ended now and the next game looks like its gonna be this alternate universe thing instead. Sigh!

FUCKIN HELL LEVEL-5 WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME WITH THIS GREAT PLOTLINE OF UTMOST SADS

Why is "sad science dad" always my fave character in everything ever and why is dr maddiman such the best

Im cry my heart out. Quite literally. LIKE POOR GODDAMN DR MADDIMANNNNNN

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part I

I’ll associate my moviegoing this year with two things: subscription models and superhero films. Realizing that I was the target audience, I signed up for Moviepass in March, then canceled just before they started extorting people in July. (I’ll remember you all semi-fondly, conniving alarmists in the Moviepass Reddit thread.) Thanks to Moviepass, I took full advantage of my free time over the summer, and I found some nice surprises that I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. From there I joined AMC A-List, which is the rare corporate service that I cannot complain about in any way. Moviepass always felt like some kind of drug deal, whereas A-List is as easy and inviting an experience as possible. I get to seek out Dolby, IMAX, or 3-D showings instead of getting locked out of them, and the electronic ticketing helps with my last-minute availability. (I’ve mastered the art of lovingly putting my daughter to bed, only to desert her and my wife five minutes later. “You know, there’s an 8:10 showing of The Predator, which means 8:30 after previews...”) My overall viewing was up 11% this year, which I have to attribute to these subscriptions. Perhaps I saw too much though. After a self-righteous five-year ban on superhero movies, I caught up in 2019 like the madman completist that I am. On the plus side, I enjoyed Wonder Woman and Guardians of the Galaxy, and I vaguely feel more connected with the culture-at-large. But I could have been more selective. The diligence required to watch X-Men: Apocalypse late on a Thursday night took away from, say, my Orson Welles project or...reading books. To get some of the business out of the way, I haven’t seen Burning, Shoplifters, Destroyer, Cold War, The Sisters Brothers, Tomb Raider, The Wife, or The House That Jack Built. Not all of us get screeners or care about seeing The Wife.  Mostly for argument purposes, I list everything I saw and divide the movies into the categories of Garbage, Admirable Failures, Endearing Curiosities with Big Flaws, Pretty Good Movies, Good Movies, Great Movies, and Instant Classics. Hey, speaking of superheroes:  GARBAGE

123. Venom (Ruben Fleischer)- Venom was first announced as an R-rated film until it was neutered into PG-13 at some point in the development road. That was the right choice because this is a movie, in all of its broad, careless storytelling, for children. "So he's going to get married to her but then he looks at her email and then he interviews the guy and he gets fired so then she leaves him and he drinks now?" This is a dummy's version of what a journalist is or what a scientist is, and it never shades into more subtlety than exactly what is on the expected surface. I guess that Tom Hardy gets to jump into a lobster tank if that floats your boat, but the story is stuck on fast-forward for the whole movie, never relenting to develop character or do anything other than communicate information that we don't really need.

Venom is almost--almost--interesting as a new branch in the superhero economy. Why shouldn't Tom Hardy and National Treasure Michelle Williams trade the equity they've built for caring about their work into this trash? I don't begrudge them that for a second. I hope they make more money for the sloppy sequels. 122. The Equalizer 2 (Antoine Fuqua)- The first Equalizer was flat and pointlessly long with pedantic dialogue too, but at least it had the Home Depot sequence. This one makes very basic stuff incoherent and dawdles all the way to the end. Your boy is now an expert hacker too? I guess it's too late for Fuqua to start caring about scripts.

121. Mandy (Panos Cosmatos)- I need somebody to explain to me why, dramatically, this is good without something like, "It's so metal! What a midnight movie! Chainsaw fight lol!" If you want to talk about the visuals that are stylized within an inch of reality, then I'll listen. But there's nothing to hold onto dramatically. I think I've developed an overall irritation with revenge films, but this filthy dirge of a movie felt empty and endless by any standard. 120. Fifty Shades Freed (James Foley)- Its intentions are too guileless to upset me, but Fifty Shades Freed uses up the goodwill I sort of had for the first two by tugging the viewer relentlessly through conflict that always seems temporary. Part of the fun has always been how bizarre basic human interactions seem in this universe. (Has anyone ever returned from a vacation to be surprise-promoted?) But this entry expects way too much from its viewer's loyalty. 119. On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke)- There's supposed to be a disconnect to the behavior of the couple in On Chesil Beach, a movie that asks us to harken back to a time when newlyweds were so sexually innocent that they had trouble figuring out how to consummate a marriage. Their fumbling seems foreign to us, which is the point. But what's the excuse for none of the behavior in the movie ringing true to any human experience?

I'm talking about Florence refusing to tell her string quartet that she's engaged because she thinks they'll assume that her marriage will break up the group even though she's sure that it won't. I'm talking about her father, who feels the need to humiliate his son-in-law in tennis because that would prove that he's dominant over the boy in some way that being his employer does not already prove. I'm talking about a plot that literally would not exist if the characters had just engaged in one conversation that it seems like they would have had in the flashbacks, which frame them as a kind of open, reasonably affectionate, easy-going couple. But by all means, McEwan, change that whenever it suits you. 118. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (J.A. Bayona)- I reject the whole premise of this deliberate lowering of stakes that never rises above obligation. To paraphrase a Griffin Newman joke, it makes Jurassic Park 4 look like Jurassic Park 1.

While we're here though: Can I have a movie about the guy who compiled the guest list for the dino auction? I want to see a guy looking at a spreadsheet--or is it an Access file?--and getting to, like, Mark Cuban and weighing the options: "He probably has the $27 million to spare on weaponized recombinant DNA. He would definitely appreciate the wow factor of having his own Indoraptor. But is he more of a neutral evil or a chaotic evil? I guess I'll reserve a seat for him and send the invitation. If he says no, then he says no. Okay, we're still in the C's..."

117. Tag (Jeff Tomsic)- Tag is going to show up on a lot of "worst movies to ever win an Oscar" lists when Jeremy Renner wins an Oscar for it. 116. A-X-L (Oliver Daly)- This is a melodramatic movie about a weaponized robotic dog and the dirtbike kid who befriends it. Nothing wrong with that; a ten-year-old boy might like it, and there aren't enough movies specifically for that audience. But what's weird is how nonchalant the main character is about the whole thing. He immediately starts training this one-of-a-kind "war dog" android and imprints it with his DNA like this is a regular Tuesday. It's one of many things that is just kind of off in this picture.

This being a cheap genre film, you do get treated to those L.A. locations that have been around the block. I think the nondescript complex that houses Craine Industries is also the one from Sneakers and The Lawnmower Man. You know, Craine Industries, the company that is working on a $70 million prototype for the military but, because this is a cheap genre film, seems to have two employees.

I do think there's an interesting movie to be made about motocross. The movie kind of works when it's just about an underdog father and son fixing bikes, before it gets into all of the robot stuff. ADMIRABLE FAILURES

115. The Little Stranger (Lenny Abrahamson)- Dr. Faraday: "Wanna marry me?" Caroline: "Maybe. Do you actually love me?" Dr. Faraday: "Probably not." Caroline: "Hmm, I think I would marry you only as an excuse to go to London to get away from my dying mother and this crumbling house that probably has a ghost." Dr. Faraday: "Oh. Well, glad we're discussing it now because I want to marry you specifically to give me a reason to stay in this crumbling house that probably has a ghost. I'm drawn to it for some reason." Caroline: "Is it because you grew up poor?" Dr. Faraday: "Yes. All dry, cold British stuff ultimately comes down to that.

114. Damsel (David Zellner and Nathan Zellner)- Had I done my research, I wouldn't have watched this Zellner Brothers follow-up to Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, one of my least favorite films of that year. Like that movie, Damsel is a story of two halves, punctuated by a shocking moment that happens halfway through. Unfortunately nothing interesting happens before, and nothing interesting happens after. 113. Suspiria (Luca Guadignino)- This is a movie about duality that gets extended. English, German, and just a sprinkle of French. Six parts and an epilogue. A dual role (and a bit part). Personalities that clash until one pulls ahead. There are ideas here. But, especially considering I don't like the original Suspiria, I didn't find much to hold onto as a visceral experience. It's a long, foreboding sit. Guadagnino knows how to end his movies, but he still doesn't have much to say for the long middle parts. Shout-out to Amazon; I hope that, in some circuitous way, betting on maximalist Italians helps them to sell paper towels or whatever.

112. Early Man (Nick Park)- I still love the Aardman aesthetic, but this material was thin. It's too juvenile for adults and too adult for juveniles. 111. Beirut (Brad Anderson)- The screenplay takes an hour to set up what should have taken twenty minutes. Some of that time is dedicated to developing Hamm's burnt-out alcoholic wheeler-dealer, but he's a character we've seen a hundred times before anyway. Some shorthand would have done some good. Once the plot gets going, it's serviceable, but I was bored by that point. Pike and Hamm need to fire their managers. 110. Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)- I'll admit that I owed the film more attention than I gave it since I was nodding off the whole time, but nothing in the gloomy programmer interested me enough to want to go back.

109. Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence)- Good as a steamy blank check provocation from the director and star--not much else. I'm sure people will take down the easy target of Jen Larry's Russian accent, but they're ignoring just how much she tries in something like this. She is a gargantuan Movie Star who commands the screen, and a lot of that presence comes from the commitment of, say, learning how to ballet dance for what must have been months. She hasn't slept through a performance yet.

I didn't think this endless movie made much sense, especially near its conclusion. Perhaps it's my personal distaste for the way that spy movies introduce major plot points without so much as a music sting to guide you. As soon as anyone says the term "double agent," my brain turns off.

108. Hot Summer Nights (Elijah Bynum)- If you want to direct a music video, just direct a music video. I like all of the actors in this, but the filmmaker has nothing to say. 107. The First Purge (Gerard McMurray)- Even James DeMonaco seems to be admitting that the bloom is off the rose a bit, since he only wrote this entry in the franchise--and his direction is missed in the action scenes. Just enough of the political subtext remains, (The New Founding Fathers get funding from the NRA, and a character uses "pussy-grabbing" as an insult. Thankfully, a Black church getting shot up by men with Iron Cross flags happens off-screen.)

But there are more characters I didn't care about than characters I did care about. Since its prequel setting doesn't reveal much about the world that we didn't already know, the film needed to do a bit more with the survive-the-night scenario that we already saw in the second film.

106. Vox Lux (Brady Corbet)- A movie that, up to and including the last minute, keeps promising something better than it actually is. Everyone here is making...choices… 105. Madeline’s Madeline (Josephine Decker)- I'm glad David Ehrlich liked this as much as he did. There are some intriguing ideas, most notably the suggestion that a mentally unstable person would be better suited for acting than a healthy person. What a debut for Helena Howard as well. But for it to add up to something by the end, I think I needed it to have more dramatic structure--the sort of fall of the Molly Parker character feels invented and insincere--or go all the way into experiment. 104. Shirkers (Sandi Tan)- One of those "you won't believe what happens next" documentaries that positions itself as an example of truth being stranger than fiction. But removed from a festival context, does it ever rise above its logline? Is it really even that odd?

[arson-but-unmedicated]

today is april 20th, 2022, at 10:46 am.

Just took my Cymbalta. I also took my Seroquel last night and surprisingly it didn't completely fuck me over! I still fell asleep at midnight and woke back up at 5am, but I was able to go back to sleep and woke up only a few minutes before my alarm at 10:30am. I feel...decently well rested today. Which is nice. Might change later though if the Cymbalta has anything to say about it.

So, the main thing that I guess might be a theme today is my issue with emotions. I have a lot of them, mostly nervous, mostly angry, mostly overexcited. Usually a combination of all of those results in a lot of crying or incoherent babbling on my part. I try not to unload them on anyone but sometimes I can't help myself. Soon, wouldn't you know it, I'm watching myself cry and whine about shit that could get fixed if I would just calm the fuck down. I explain the stupid shit I do like this usually:

Imagine you are sitting in the viewing area of an operating theater. One of those cold, bright open ones that you see in scary medical films and TV. You are watching an exact copy of yourself performing surgery on a new patient every time you're performing a new task. And that copy of yourself is fucking it up badly. You yell and yell at it because you know what you should actually be doing. You know how to do this task, you know how to do this surgery. You've studied it and watched yourself ruin this surgery again and again and again but you can never enter the operating room yourself for... whatever reason. The surgery is done and fails or is passed by some strange miracle (usually someone else stepping to help your copy), and the copy comes up to you with a smile like it thinks it just did a surgery that would be praised by peers for centuries. Like it performed medical magic. You tell it everything it did wrong and how to do it better but it just shrugs and says "well, I did my best." And you pause. And you laugh. And you wrap strong, betrayed hands around its neck until it's choking so hard you can hardly breathe yourself.

You're made to watch this for eternity because it doesn't ever listen to you. You aren't sure whether it's forgetting or deliberately ignoring you because it's easier to call yourself a mistake and that you "did your best" when you could be trying so much harder. But trying harder requires work. Work you don't have the spoons for. Work you don't have the time for. Work you don't have the money for. But by all means, you should fucking have these things. But because you're so shit at surgery, you don't. It's a cycle you'll never break and you're doomed to watch yourself make the same fucking mistakes over and over again. And it's pathetic.

And when someone else talks about failing their surgeries or laments about it, I get so bitter. I can't listen to them. It's so hard dealing with other people's emotions because you're in the middle of surgery yourself and god!!! you!! just!! ruin!!! everything!!!

And I think the worst part about this post is that I hardly felt anything while typing this. The Cymbalta must have kicked in. Also South Park discourse. Pog.

Anyways, today should be fun. I wanna go swimming.

End post, 11:26am.

Blaze it lol

[warfear]

✩ puli

* groans loudly *

DISAGREEMENTS

WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO RAISE THEIR VOICE? obviously miss poop. juli hasn’t raised his voice in his life… that’s no joke. can really only recall ONE fight he’s ever had with somebody. like, emotionally. he’s always fighting for the laffs.  WHO THREATENS TO LEAVE BUT NEVER ACTUALLY DOES? pippa again. she’d be way too obsessed with the last word, and you know him… never shuts the fuck up. they’d be going back and forth all night. WHO ACTUALLY KEEPS THEIR WORD AND LEAVES? julian. he’s not really a towel thrower but like, when a man has had enough... WHO TRASHES THE HOUSE? pippa would throw a hissy fit and break multiple vases. those were expensive bitch. you better venmo his mommy right now. DO EITHER OF THEM GET PHYSICAL? she might slap him. maybe. does she have the balls? somebody’s got to.  HOW OFTEN DO THEY ARGUE/DISAGREE? every god damn day. over everything. agreeing is for SUCKERS. WHO IS THE FIRST TO APOLOGISE? julian. obviously. he’s doing it right now in our thread that you refuse to reply to.

SEX

WHO IS ON TOP? i don’t think pippa likes to get down and dirty in missionary soooo… ya make a wild guess. WHO IS ON THE BOTTOM? * ladybird vc * who’s on top their first time?! WHO HAS THE STRANGEST DESIRES? pippa. she fucked her babysitter slash principal. that was mad weird. funny how juli knows about that and STILL choose to knock boots. he must be confident in her weekly planned parenthood check - ups.  ANY KINKS? enthusiastic consent on his part. duh. pippa seems to be VERY into pegging. sounds like she fetishizes homosexual men to me. larry much? big yikes. WHO’S MORE DOMINANT IN BED? we like a girl who knows what she wants. no, genuinely… he does. it’s hot. IS HEAD EVER IN THE EQUATION? juli be eating that wap like its a five course meal followed up by a midnight snack. she slobbers on that dick like its a popsicle stick.If so, who is better at performing it? her, definitely. he’s only really fucked a handful of people, and that includes her. let a boy practice, damn. EVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC? do parties count as public? if no, then they better get to it. Who moans the most? for juli’s sake, i hope pippa. or else we might be dealing with a case of deflation.  WHO LEAVES THE MOST MARKS? pippa seems like she gets into it, so i’ll go with her. Who screams the loudest? i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again...  WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCREAMING AND MOANING? WHO IS THE MORE EXPERIENCED OF THE TWO? as established, it’s pipperoo.  DO THEY ‘FUCK’ OR ‘MAKE LOVE’? they fuck. plain and simple. maybe when he’s popped that bun in the oven we can get to talking about slowing our roll (no pun intended. just kidding, it was intentional) ROUGH OR SOFT? well, it’s not rough but it’s not soft, either. ya dig? a neat little mixture of both. he’s not a bdsm god, okay. we can’t ALL be randy. but i do wish we could. HOW LONG DO THEY USUALLY LAST? now, i won’t act as if he can go all night in terms of dicking her down… HOWEVER, he don’t give up and if we gotta put our other limbs to use (just fingers, dudes, don’t get any ideas), then so be it. is the tongue a limb? hm. IS PROTECTION USED? with his sperm count? naw. DOES IT EVER GET BORING? probably, they’re depressed.Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? this universe.

FAMILY

DO YOUR MUSES PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN/OR HAVE CHILDREN? they do not plan on that shit, alright. but if shit hits the fan and a little gremlin starts growing inside the gremlin (let her have some water, did we?), then i guess. just know it wasn’t premeditated.  IF SO, HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOUR MUSES WANT/HAVE? just the one, thanks. WHO IS THE FAVORITE PARENT? say it’s NOT the apocalypse, then pippa. she would spoil that little brat until it turned into a mini - her. but other than that, juli’s good with kids. THEY LIKE HIM. let me have this. WHO IS THE MORE AUTHORIATIVE PARENT? i feel like juli would be able to handle the everyday stuff of like, “don’t eat glue”. but pippa would be the one snapping, for sure. WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO ALLOW THE CHILDREN TO HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL? pippa. juli values education, okay? he’s a little steven crain, why yes he is. WHO LETS THE CHILDREN INDULGE IN SWEETS AND JUNK FOOD WHEN THE OTHER ISN’T AROUND? juli. pippa might be a druggie trainwreck but i don’t see her eating hot cheetos for lunch, nah… that’s juli! WHO TURNS UP TO EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN? juli shows up for the everyday. pippa the games / performances. you think she’s gonna miss her chance at being regina george’s mom? no.  WHO GOES TO THE PARENT TEACHER INTERVIEWS? pippa forgets them and that leaves daddy julian apolskis with the hot teachers. thank you, poop. WHO CHANGES THE DIAPERS? julian. no further commentary. WHO GETS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO FEED THE BABY? see above. somebody’s a LAZY bitch… WHO SPENDS THE MOST TIME WITH THE CHILDREN? i mean, i don’t wanna repeat myself but.  WHO PACKS THEIR LUNCHES? naw, that’s a lunch money kid right there. WHO GIVES THEIR CHILDREN ‘THE TALK’? neither, they’d call juli’s mommy or kitty for that shit.  WHO CLEANS UP AFTER THE KIDS? think pippa would hire a maid, honestly. juli’s not very organised and pippa’s, well… pippa. WHO WORRIES THE MOST? julian, for cheesy. WHO ARE THE CHILDREN MORE LIKELY TO LEARN THEIR FIRST SWEAR WORD FROM? oh, that’s a tie. they’d argue about who done did it… you know, like the potty mouths they are. but it’d end up being kitty.

AFFECTION

WHO LIKES TO CUDDLE? julian loves himself a little cuddle sesh. why, is she not down? boo. WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON? both, what the fuck. * ariana grande vc * IT’S EQUALITY. WHO GETS NAUGHTY IN THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE PLACES? pippa. like you really wanna be getting down and dirty in the diaper aisle of wholefood? get ya damn hand off his non - existent buttocks.  WHO STRUGGLES TO KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELF? yeah, see above. HOW LONG CAN THEY CUDDLE UNTIL ONE BECOMES UNCOMFORTABLE? like 3 minutes for her. he can go all night, baby. WHO GIVES THE MOST KISSES? probably juli. HE’S AFFECTIONATE. WHAT IS THEIR FAVOURITE NON-SEXUAL ACTIVITY? bitching with blunts.  WHERE IS THEIR FAVOURITE PLACE TO CUDDLE? uh, a BED?  WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO PLAYFULLY GROPE THE OTHER? did you not read ANYTHING i said? HOW OFTEN DO THEY GET TIME TO THEMSELVES? i feel like they both demand a lot of me - time, and honestly i don’t see them simply existing in quietude next to each other, so… often.

SLEEPING

WHO SNORES? pippa like the wee pug she is. IF BOTH DO, WHO SNORES THE LOUDEST? she do, bitch. DO THEY SHARE A BED OR SLEEP SEPARATELY? who are they, bandy? they don’t live together but i’d ASSUME if they fucked and it went past midnight neither would just dip, that’s dumb. IF THEY SLEEP TOGETHER, DO THEY COZY UP TOGETHER OR LAY FAR APART? we start far, far away and we end up a wee bit cozy. WHO TALKS IN THEIR SLEEP? neither. that’s some tom behaviour. WHAT DO THEY WEAR TO BED? juli’s just a boxers type guy, add a t - shirt for winter. and i’m guessing she has some cutesy pajamas that are like pink… and silk.  ARE EITHER OF YOUR MUSES INSOMNIACS? juli could sleep a year. but he could also stay up a year. it’s a toss - up. i think pippa has a noise machine and a sleep mask, so. CAN SLEEPING PILLS BE FOUND BY THE BEDSIDE? yes. and we pop those for fun. DO THEY WRAP THEIR LIMBS AROUND EACH OTHER OR JUST LAY SIDE BY SIDE? both. although the former is ACCIDENTAL. Who wakes up with bed hair? juli, for sure. have you seen his hair? he ain’t brush that. Who wakes up first? fucking neither. they sleep until noon and THEN SOME. Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? juli can’t cook but if she wants a poptart… baby, he’s your man. What is their favourite sleeping position? probably like… him on his back, arm stretched out for her to use as a pillow and then she sleeps with her back towards him. what, is he not CUTE enough to face? Who hogs the sheets? pippa. greedy as hell. Do they set an alarm each night? neither, lols. Can a television be found in their bedroom? juli has one in his bedroom, but pippa might be too poor to afford that, so. Who has nightmares? i don’t think either do. then again, i don’t edward cullen pippa every night. Who has ridiculous dreams? probably juli. they’d be incoherent and she’d be like “shut up it’s 7 am i do not wanna hear about your homoerotic dreams about harrison ford.” Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? i feel like they are both sprawlers. Who makes the bed? neither, it just be looking like a HOT HOT mess at all times. What time is bed time? sunrise. Any routines/rituals before bed? more bitching with blunts. Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? my guess would be pippa. he’s not in a great mood but he’s also not in a bitchy mood. and she always is.

WORK

Who is the busiest? juli, seeing as he’s the only one with a job. freeloader much @ poopy. Who rakes in the highest income? somehow, despite not being unemployed, not juli. Are any of your muses unemployed? pippa and she’ll stay that way until the day she dies. ain’t got no skills, lady luv, what are you gonna do? onlyfans? yeah, you wish. Who takes the most sick days? pippa. from like, existing. Who is more likely to turn up late to work? juli because he doesn’t have a fucking car. who skates to work? losers, that’s who. Who sucks up to their boss? fucking NEITHER. when have these dumbos ever sucked up to anybody? What are their jobs? juli’s a clerk at the comic book store and pippa’s a professional slut. Who stresses the most? tew many blunts to be stressing, my dude. Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? julian actually likes his job. because comics are his PASSION. one and only aside from punk and being a little meanie. and who cares about pippa’s stance on unemployment? not me. Are your muses financially stable? juli, no. although he lives at home so it’s fine. pippa, yes.

HOME

Who does the washing? juli, reluctantly, after a lot of bitching from a miss espina. Who takes out the trash? he takes her out every friday night. haha, just kidding.jokes, jokes…  but he does take out the trash. Who does the ironing? i think pippa hates wrinkly clothing HOWEVER she would burn holes in that shit and he’d have to do it anyway. Who does the cooking? it’s called take - out, baby. look it up and order me some red curry chicken from your nearest thai food place. Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? pippa, hence… them not doing that. the oven is purely decorative. Who is messier? pippa. somehow. Who leaves the toilet roll empty? also pippa because she does not respect her fellow man (julian) Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? that’s juli, alright. pippa would at least fill the hamper until it overflows. good for her. Who forgets to flush the toilet? NEITHER. get some help. Who is the prankster around the house? juli would probably do something very lighthearted and then she’d take it like eleven notches too far. Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? pippa be throwing those bitches halfway the antarctic, lemme tell you. then again he doesn’t even know how to drive, so… you win some, you lose some. Who mows the lawn? * TRIGGERED * Who answers the telephone? pippa would yell at juli to do it while she’s standing RIGHT THERE and then he’d be like yo, wtf and she’d be like omg my pedicure, though… yup. Who does the vacuuming? juli’s mommy. Who does the groceries? THEY DON’T COOK. Who takes the longest to shower? pippa. juli’s an in - and - out kinda guy. and i respect that more than i respect her for taking 45 minutes every time. Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above.

MISCELLANEOUS

Is money a problem? no, but maybe it should be. then she wouldn’t be such a horrid little cunt, you know? too much? yeah, well… like queen lizzo once said, the truth hurts. How many cars do they own? i wanna say… one.  Do they own their home or do they rent? um, owning a home is a huge commitment (and a baby simply isn’t, just leave it on the curb outside and you’ll be gucci within 30 minutes top) and they’re not committed to the cause. Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? bitch, city. but a city near the coast? ahah, seattle? Do they live in the city or in the country? fucking see above, damn. Do they enjoy their surroundings? sure, why not. sounds cute. What’s their song? wap, obviously. but also everybody talks by neon trees. don’t ask me for 80’s songs, i am brain dead.  What do they do when they’re away from each other? rejoice. Where did they first meet? at a party, probably. How did they first meet? let’s just make it less awk and say through a mutual friend... Who spends the most money when out shopping? how is this even a question… obviously juli spends big bucks on nightwing comics that heavily feature dick’s thick behind. Who’s more likely to flash their assets? pippa should be robbed. Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? both. pippa would just more vocal about it. Any mental issues? * takes long drag of a cigarette * so anyway... Who’s terrified of bugs? pippa cries at the sight of butterflies. did i steal that from some toddler in the chat? yeah. Who kills the spiders around the house? jjuli would let it outside. like idiots who want the spider to come back in do. Their favourite place? probably some shitty make - out spot in the woods where you can smoke weed and bitch. Who pays the bills? juli would insist on paying half even if she could buy him. Do they have any fears for their future? ahah.... hunny… for that you’d have to expect a future. Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? juli. he’s a big softie, alright. Who uses up all of the hot water? well only one of them spends the whole day in the shower, so. Who’s the tallest? JULI, FOR ONCE.  Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? that’s a pippa move if i’ve ever heard one. Who wanders around in their underwear? well, he’s not gonna be putting on any pants unless there’s company. Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? see, juli would jam out to some sick punk rock and she’d turn it off for madonna and then have HER moment but man, did you know he’ll just join? that’s kinda cute * barf * What do they tease each other about? their respective failures. Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? he looks like he got dressed in the dark. Do they have mutual friends? HAAAAAAAAA... Who crushed first? IF that were to ever be a thing, then juli for sure.  Any alcohol or substance related problems? * loud breathing for 16 consecutive minutes * Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? both of them. maybe together.

[tumblunni]

“That is merely humans hoping, deluding themselves that they are happy and safe!“

Hey this line hurts me a lot, other news at 10 I mean i know its probably been said before, but...

This line made him sound absolutely fucking desperate! like fuck, i know that feeling of pleading so damn hard that your voice cracks and something angry turns into an accidental moment of vunerability. This really did sound like him pleading.. pleading with himself, I guess? This one singular moment of anger from him was so well done because like ITS NOT EVEN COHERANT! like its not a Big Anime Anger Moment where he busts out some perfect speech to sound all badass and stuff, its really rambling and confused. It sounds like a guy who’s having a breakdown at someone challenging his philosophy that’s been the only thing keeping him going for so long. And like.. he’s already decided to ignore this epiphany and double down on “you are wrong”, but he’s far, FAR less self-assured now. It’s scary! It’s scary to see a Cyrus who doesn’t constantly act like he’s five steps ahead of you! It’s scary to see him going “you just don’t UNDERSTAND” and you can’t even tell if he’s yelling at you or yelling at himself to try and push those damn emotions back down and hold back a full on breakdown...

also like

“That is merely humans hoping, deluding themselves that they are happy and safe!“

it gets me so deep in the heart because CYRUS DIDNT EVEN HAVE THAT his childhood life was so fucking devoid of ‘happy and safe’ and like.. people’s only counterargument to his philosophy seems to be ‘well some of us didn’t suffer like you’ and he’s like.. tried to reconcile it with the existance of happiness in other people by deciding that even positive emotions are dangerous and should be destroyed. Cos like the only experience he had of that was the painful tease of seeing a glimpse of actual human love and affection from his grandpa, and then inevitably his parents would come pick him up and it’d all hurt even worse when he went back. And he feels like maybe he could have endured it better if he hadn’t got his hopes up that his grandpa would rescue him someday. And like.. he’s had to see his love for that man turn to anger and resentment, and now he’ll probably never get to see him again. So it sounds like cyrus is begging the player and cynthia to understand that their ‘happiness’ is just something horrible and fake that’s going to ruin their lives. like trying to erase the whole world was actually a kindness, from his perspective?? and why?? are you going against me??? He sounds so fuckjin betrayed, like there’s a whole bunch of moments in the game where he’s all ‘i respect you as my nemesis’ and treats you weirdly more equal than his own grunts and admins...

anyway I’m rambling a lot cos its late at night but WHATEVER you get what I generally mean, right??

cyrus’s dialogue here is very intriguing cos its the only glimpse we have of him being unrestrained and showing his true emotions. And its SO fucking emotional, holy shit! and very curious and open to a lot of different interpretations honestly, as you can see by me thinking a million things about one damn sentence lol and it is SO damn chilling and MEGA FUCKIN SAD to see him go straight back to normal afterwards. like, fuck, i still hate that you don’t get a chance to redeem this man. You just say nothing, and eveyrthing cynthia says fails, and he pulls himself back from the brink of questioning his own ideals and just reaches the conclusion of hating himself a little more, but deciding to start over from scratch and do the whole damn plan again, nonetheless. and he crushes that crying fit beneath his heel and is like “ha.. ha... forget that ever happened” *floats off into the void and probably never gets better* The End Sinnoh The End Happy End, Children U Beat The Bad Boss

i am so sad for this man because he refuses to let himself be sad about the injustices that keep befalling him “hey yknow who isn’t to blame for my parents abusing me? MY PARENTS” “hey yknow who is? THE EARTH” “ALSO ME. BUT MOSTLY THE EARTH.”

i am so sad for this man, so fucking sad... WHY MUST MY FRIENDS MAKE INTENSE AWESOME ANALYSIS POSTS AT MIDNIGHT THAT REKINDLE ALL OF THE FEELS

this has been an incoherant rambling of everything i feel, about an incoherant rambling of everything a guy felt, I guess...?

[tumblunni]

wow im really rambling sorry i just couldnt manage to get any sleep cos the stupid headache came back and its my own fault for staying up rambling chat with my best friend and now she’s all No Go To Sleep Bunn so i cant even continue the chatting >_>

and also my typing is getting really incoherant cos im tired and WHY did i have to remember one manga i got mad about once at age 13 lol i didnt even fuckin know that crona was canonically nonbinary until a bazillion years later and man i would have got over my own self hate a lot earlier if i KNEW THAT WAS AN ACTUAL OPTION when i was 13... fuq u dub for censoring them and fuq u really bad gross fanservice writer man for accidentally making a really cool concept that ended up becoming a far more coherant anime and then everyone complained about the anime fixing the plotholes somehow and then it got one of the best dubs ever EXCEPT for the censoring of the one LGBT character.. Also fuckin hell how did this writer even manage to make such a good character and also a great non sexualized female protagonist within a story where every other female character is sexualized and then go on to make a bunch of infinately shittier, lazier, and less creative mangas with a worse art style and more out of place hyper crass fanservice and suddenly no female characters who get to be anything except fanservice and his previous manga before soul eater had NO FEMALE CHARACTERS AT ALL and no other manga except soul eater has a single LGBT character either, let alone a well handled one whose only flaw was being censored in a dub... so like what the fuck was he just testing out the idea of being respectful to various demographics and then went ‘nah, its easier to be as crude as possible’...??? or did he really get replaced by a clone with a worse art style. man its so demotivating whenever that happened, i still cant understand why one piece’s art style got worse too, and why people keep saying its better this way... OH MAN and one piece also is a thing that never had any sexual content and then suddenly changed into over the top fanservice constantly! its a really crappy feeling to have one of your favourite shows suddenly change like.. design philosophy. or intended audience?? at least soul eater remained mostly a good show with a bad ending, i ended up losing all love for one piece entirely as soon as i learned about the trans community, realized i was part of the trans community, and realized that that whole island of weird monster man characters was actually a joke about japanese stereotypes of the trans community... i mean man at least i cant blame kid!me for not realizing cos they didnt even look human let alone like trans women. its so gross when people stereotype trans women as looking even more manly than men?? TO THE POINT OF NOT EVEN LOOKING HUMAN?? SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT ‘OKAMA’ MEANT BIGFOOT OR SOMETHING... man there are a lot of bad decisions made in shows and i probably should not be thinking about them while sad and ill at midnight

bunni: makes post apologsing for rambling about random anime complaints also bunni: does exactly that, but more

Second Apology Time Also Now I Shut Up