#this is so long holy shit. my longest meta post yet

[sealrock]

the order of saint jehanne ; a look into the past

motto: rage of the fury, temperance of the maiden

active: c. 1410-1558 (148 years)

the order of saint jehanne, sometimes known as the blue sorority, was an officially endorsed ishgardian military order comprised of female knights and were active participants in the dragonsong war. fighting alongside their brothers in arms roughly 150 years since they've been founded, the order set an example for coerthan women everywhere.

rich or poor, young or old, the order accepted any who would answer the call. the knights that joined the order, known by the commoners as 'swordsisters', served for life. taking a strict vow of celibacy and following the creed of the order's patron saint, the swordsisters dedicated their waking moments to honoring the fury, helping the destitute, and striking down the dravanian horde at any cost.

history:

'the blessed one, jehanne tarc' (c. 1340) painted by beittent de tofaux (1276-1356), oil on canvas

jehanne tarc (c. 1154-1173), once a poor farmgirl in the coerthan lowlands, lived a short but illustrious life that propelled her to sainthood two hundred years after her death. hers is a tale that's been spoken by bards and idolized by the smallfolk long after she returned to the earth: guided by visions from none other than the fury herself, jehanne led a campaign of victorious battles against the dravanian horde, only to fall in a fiery blaze by her archenemies.

purportedly the third daughter of eight children, jehanne lived a simple and uneventful life. she was fourteen when she received her first vision of halone, surrounded by her valiant knights in resplendent golden armor; it was said she wept for days afterward for that she could not believe the fury would reveal herself to such a lowly servant. the visions continued soon after that, but instead of being fearful, jehanne fully embraced her visitations—even if no one believed her.

around this time, rumors of a prophecy descended from the highlands about an armored maiden would come forth and strike a grievous blow against nidhogg's horde. lady reinette also lived in the same period as jehanne, but she had already put down her lance to devote herself to the church after avenging her beloved.

at sixteen, jehanne's family was killed when the village was razed to the ground by amelth, a fiercesome and high-ranking dragon with impenetrable scales that has already devastated the armed forces of the holy see's temple knights. believing the prophecy to be true and seeking revenge, jehanne rode to the capital and demanded an audience with the archbishop of the period. backed by her visions of the fury, jehanne was given the archbishop's blessing to fight. with no military training or skills in weaponry, jehanne quickly proved herself to be blessed by the fury. her arrival bolstered the moral of the troops no one has seen before or since her death, and with her leading the charge the holy see managed to drive back the horde at a pace no one could believe.

at eighteen, jehanne struck down amelth; for three days and three nights, they fought a bitter battle that ultimately ended with jehanne as the victor. with so many battles won, the people of ishgard viewed her as the fury reborn. but with all good things, they must come to an end. a year later, jehanne was nineteen years old when she was killed in retaliation by amelth's brood. facing death unflinchingly, jehanne's life was snuffed out by dragonfire.

surprisingly, the church was slow to canonize jehanne as a saint, much like they did saint reinette, despite her glories and virtures. in 1309, jehanne was beatified and canonized as a virgin saint to the cheers of the lowlands who had venerated her. it would take another century before the military order would be founded in her name. with much of her life embellished by folktales and song, jehanne continues to inspire many of the commonfolk.

during her life, jehanne never wavered in her faith and maintained her maidenhood when many men wanted her hand in marriage. she devoted herself fully to halone, and in death her virginity was recognized as her most admirable trait. this sentiment was followed by the order to the fullest, its swordsisters vowing to never fall in love with anyone, for their mission would be compromised by mortal desires.

insignia:

the order's coat of arms was humble in design; its chequy pattern of white and blue was not meant to be excessive or ostentatious, much like the order's patron saint. the white symbolized the swordsisters' unwavering and unsullied purity, while the blue represented the fury's grace and divine favor to her knights.

attire:

the order, being both a military unit and a community of religious sisters, has two modes of dress: combat and clerical.

the order's combat uniform consists of the medium armor variety—a mix of leather, metal, and chainmail. the tunic worn by the swordsisters consists of the same chequy pattern as their coat of arms, quickly distinguishing themselves from temple knights and dragoons alike. the helms worn by the order offers protection in close-quarters combat: while other knights wear enclosed helms in battle, the order opted to use a crowned mail coif with an open, but barred, visor to improve vision.

while most can identify the order's offensive soldiers, those who wield swords, lances, and maces, the order carries defensive swordsisters who are the healers and mages of their units. they wear the same uniform as the offense.

when not in active duty, members of the order fulfill their daily tasks around their convents in their clerical dress. more ornate (and at times offensive to the more conservative members of the church) than a simple nun's habit, it follows the same pattern of elements with the tunic, coif and veil, but decorated with stripes and jewels.

internal organization:

the order has a hierarchy like any other order in coerthas. while it's easier to refer to everyone in the order as swordsister, they are organized by 'levels':

quaternaire: aka the reverend mother. an elderly head of the order usually elected with votes after serving half of her life to the organization. like her name suggests, the reverend mother runs the convent much like a parent would, with a strict no-nonsense attitude. she received the vows of the swordsisters, admit new candidates, or send them out on missionary work or to the battlefield to offer aid.

tertiaire: after a certain amount of years have passed, or if the younger sister excelled in her work, she'll graduate to become a tertiaire, or 'older sister'. these swordsisters are most common in the field as their survival skills, discipline, and dedication lead them to confront dragons head on. besides combat expertise, some older sisters are more adept to administrative work, performing religious rites, and overlooking the younger sisters and novices.

secondaire: primaires who pass the training are officially initiated into the order, thus becoming secondaires. they are called 'younger sister [x]' as a form of address. contact with the outside world would be cut off from this point forward. the initiate would then receive a new name chosen from the church's beatified saints or known virtues to signify her 'death' to the world. these new sisters continue to receive training from the higher-ups, and their responsibilities are given based on skill. they apprentice under the older sisters in the field and in the convent.

primaire: fresh faces to the order who must undergo a rigorous, and often torturous, physical and mental training initiation that last for one year. during this period, novices are not addressed with special titles, they're allowed to maintain contact with family and friends, and if they choose to, leave the order if they're not capable of enduring the training. novices endure no penalty.

the training initiation does not spare bright-eyed girls and women from its wrath; most novices leave after 3 months of training. only the resolute and pious souls of halone are able to suffer through it. it was modeled after the trials of saint jehanne to bring those closer to the tribulations she once did.

even after becoming a swordsister, one must continue to prove their worth to the saint and to grow closer to the fury through mortifying their flesh (abstinence, self-flagellation, wearing a chain cilice, steam baths as penance). to know what the patron saint went through, the swordsisters put aside their apprehension to train both body and soul in the ways of the maiden. their faith makes it so they can stare down the enemy with no fear.

the end of the line:

once a woman is initiated, she cannot leave under any circumstances. to serve halone is to serve for life, and that means laying down your life in the name of the fury without fear. a swordsister renounces worldly pleasures in the name of her patron saint, and to consider leaving is akin to heresy in the order, often punishable by death.

alas, their mission was cut short by one of their own. the order was destroyed from within by someone whose heart was anchored with mortal desires and temptations. none survived except for the traitor.

older sister tauvane, now tauvane the godless, turned her back on her swordsisters. once a bastard babe born in the sins of her parents, she was given to the care of the swordsisters who treated her as one of their own. while society didn't accept her, the order saw her as who she was: a lost lamb needing guidance. but she committed the ultimate form of treachery in the act of love.

a young temple knight, a heretic injured in battle and nursed back to health by sister tauvane, lured her away from the order. justice was wrought on the nonbeliever, but tauvane retaliated in the most horrific way imaginable: aligning herself with the enemy. the order of saint jehanne was wiped out by tauvane, once a beloved sister and friend, in the year 1558. she nows leads a crusade of her own—a war with the holy see in the name of her beloved.

may the fury receive her flock with open arms and cast down the wicked.

[thetardigrape]

I posted 4,102 times in 2022

That's 3,791 more posts than 2021!

187 posts created (5%)

3,915 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@batsarebetterthanpeople

@chuplayswithfire

@ofmdaily

@knowlesian

@blvckwidow

I tagged 2,330 of my posts in 2022

Only 43% of my posts had no tags

#ofmd - 228 posts

#our flag means death - 154 posts

#ofmd fic - 46 posts

#the amazing devil - 38 posts

#yes - 28 posts

#ofmd meta - 19 posts

#fuck - 17 posts

#holy shit - 13 posts

#madeleine hyland - 12 posts

#love it - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#me‚ creating a tumblr post on the absolutely public website tumblr: the people who inspired this post will definitely never ever see it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I just love how a lot of characters in OFMD are struggling with questions of identity and NONE of them are about being queer. Stede is struggling with being a weakling, an aristocrat, and a pirate. Ed is struggling with being a killer, a legend, and a peasant. Jim is struggling with being an assassin. NOBODY is like “oh no, what does it mean if I’m queer.” It’s not even a question. Fucking incredible. Love it.

1,461 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#4

Love the implications of this:

What was he gonna do, go in there and execute them one by one with his muzzle-loaded pistol?

"Sorry, can the rest of you just hold on a minute, I need to load this again, then I can keep killing you."

1,714 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#3

Most of my meta so far has dealt with Ed and Stede. As it should, they're the stars of OFMD.

But now I wanna talk about Lucius and Izzy. Because I've been dying over "Have you ever been sketched" for weeks and I need to talk about it. This is less of a meta and more of me just picking this scene apart because I love it so much.

The scene starts with Izzy naming a long list of chores Lucius will have to do. At this point, Lucius knows about Izzy the Spewer. He knows Izzy doesn't actually have the authority to make him do anything, and he knows a secret that Izzy definitely doesn't want spread around. So with his response to Izzy's demand that he does these chores, Lucius readies for his first blow.

Lucius has already used this line before. Crucially, back in the galley, he had nothing else to use against Izzy, and Izzy won that fight. But now, Lucius is armed. And Izzy's about to give him yet another weapon.

See the full post

2,078 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#2

Ed: wanna do something weird?

Stede: yes absolutely

Ed: cool, take your clothes off

Stede: this sounds perfectly reasonable, okay

2,988 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Listen, though, Buttons is actually a really good first mate.

Noticed talk of a mutiny and brought it to Stede's attention before anything happened

Quietly coached Stede on how to be more effective as captain

Caught sight of the Spanish ships on the horizon before anyone else, including Blackbeard and Izzy

Didn't assume the fog alone would conceal the Revenge from the Spanish

Knew the movements of the Dutch merchants so precisely as to be able to zero in on them a full day and a half before their paths crossed

Very much attempted not to let Calico Jack on board

Only one besides Stede who didn't engage in Jack's shenanigans

Honestly, he should give Izzy lessons.

5,100 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[setsuntamew]

So, Persona 5 Royal, huh?

Full disclosure: I had gotten about halfway through November on Wednesday and finished it out Saturday night, which took uhhh about 65-70 hours? Some of that was sitting there waiting for the PS4 controller to recharge or listening to music in the Thieves Den while eating, but I still feel like I need to own up to how extremely bad I am at making good decisions with my life XD

MOVING ON, THOUGH, HOLY SHIT. P5 was a very good game, but Royal’s additions & changes made it incredible. I like the ending way more; I think it’s more emotionally fulfilling and meaningful, especially with everyone’s more defined future plans. Definitely felt like everyone had more growth in the end!! Which is something I’d always thought P5 was lacking.

Snip snip for spoilers and the fact that this post ended up being too damn long, oops! the last third is basically Akechi feels and analyzing his ending, so......yeah XD

Part of why I plowed through SO much of Royal in so little time is....Akechi XD Like okay, this is my stupid fandom blog, I can be excited about him all I want!!! I got to Sae’s Palace and just....I couldn’t put it down. @dragonofeternal​ and I ordered an embarrassing amount of takeout instead of cooking because we just had to see how everything with Maruki and the third semester was gonna go down. I’d already been dying along the way because Akechi’s confidant dates are so good, I just. Fuck!!!

Also, look, for the entirity of Shido’s boss fight and the depths of Mementos/Yaldabaoth/etc, we’d look at each other every few minutes and just be like AKECHI SHOULD BE HERE WITH US, HE DESERVES TO GET HIS VENGEANCE ON HIS SHITTY DAD AND FORCED DESTINY!!!!!

December 24th had to be the longest god damn day in Akira’s life because like. Final exam grades are posted in the morning! He goes to school and then dives into hell, crawls his way back out, briefly dies by fading from human cognition, fights an actual fucking god, and then....ends up dissociating in Shibuya until Sae shows up and is like “oh hey thanks for everything you did, please sign up for being arrested now.” And while he’s still reeling from that, Akechi walks up to take his place, like some kind of bullshit knight in shining armor schtick, and leaves no room for conversation.

AND THEN WE HAVE TO GO ON A DATE

I romanced Hifumi this time around, because I wanted Akria to bang a girl who is just so incredibly out of his league, but....it’s not necessarily that I forgot I was dating someone, more that it had been *so many hours of plot* that I was emotionally exhausted. Like, Hifumi texted me and I was just like. Right. RIGHT. It’s still Christmas Eve, somehow. I was at *school* this morning. The whole world merged with Mementos briefly in the middle of this, Akechi is somehow alive, and I guess I’m going on a date now????

I do appreciate how many “god I’m just dissociating my way through this” conversation options there were for the date, tbh. I feel bad though, I really like Hifumi, but I feel like Akira is not giving a date his full emotional attention at that specific time. It feels a bit like emotional whiplash, more so than I remember it being in P5? Maybe it’s because I played it 4 years ago and there wasn’t the added emotional weight of Akechi’s reappearance, but it was just like....a lot, in Royal.

AND THEN THE NEW YEAR HAPPENED. I’d been spoiled on large parts of the third semester, mostly because Royal’s been out for a year already and I’m too curious for my own good. I’d also somehow lied to myself, saying I didn’t have time to play another Persona game right now, and yet here I am, 171 hours of game play within exactly a month, kicking myself for not knowing how deep in Persona hell I would get XD

Which is to say, as soon as the new year started, it felt I was drowning in anxiety. I knew something was wrong, I knew they were in a false reality, but knowing that sure as fuck didn’t make it easier to go through. If anything, it was somehow worse, knowing that it was all gonna come crumbling down, but I didn’t yet know the exact details, only the broad strokes of it. Just. Every time someone talked about something that was wrong, my heart would clench.

God, I’m so fucking tired, I pulled an all-nighter on Friday so I could get through Royal before having to work on Sunday, and I am feeling it right now. Life tips: don’t do what I do XD

Every moment with Akechi felt like borrowed time, at least for me, because I knew what was coming. I spent so much time in Mementos with him; I ended up putting just him and Akira in my party and plowing through everything, including trouncing the Reaper over and over just for the hell of it. I got his ultimate weapons, I spent so many nights in the jazz club with him that he ran out of dialogue options, and I still took him back for more. I accidentally failed to EVER trigger Sumire’s Showtime because every fight was just Akira and Akechi against the world, because fuck it, I’m playing this for fun!! If I want to play with them in stupid costumes and no one else in the party, I’m gonna. Royal did such an incredible job giving Akechi more depth and development: it was all I could hope for, and it made it that much fucking worse to know what was in store for him.

Somehow, I thought it would be harder for me to make the decision to refuse Maruki’s deal, since fuck, fuck what I wouldn’t give for Akechi to be alive???? But I barely hesitated, only really stopping because I had to emotionally brace myself for it, because a reality where he can’t carve out his own fate would be a disrespect to everything their relationship is built on.

I have a whole shit ton of feelings about post-beating Maruki but they’re basically all Akechi related meta so somehow they ended up at the end of this post, I’m sorry XD

I understand that they had to keep the going to jail bit because 1) Akechi didn’t turn himself in, Akira did and 2) it leads to the final events of the game, but let me just say....the emotional roller coaster of fighting Maruki, almost failing multiple times, waking up in jail, the Phantom Thieves & friends getting Akira out of jail, celebrating that, and then getting thrown into Valentines Day was a LOT for my heart to take. Once again, didn’t forget I had a girlfriend, just got too invested in the plot to really be thinking about her. It’s less than two weeks after the fight with Maruki and somehow, everything is supposed to be okay????

The scene with everyone talking about their future plans is such good character growth, though. Everyone feels like they’ve truly grown and are making decisions that, even though they might be painful or hard at times, are ultimately very important to them. It’s a really good contrast to the “almost everyone goes to Shujin and they all stay in Tokyo forever without doing anything for themselves” Maruki’s perfect reality bad end.

Standing in the Underground Mall on White Day, being told I had to get flowers but finally being able to have control of Akira again was....so bittersweet. The fact that the location of the date is the aquarium is a low fucking blow, and I almost threw the controller across the room I was so upset. Like. THE AQUARIUM IS UNLOCKED BECAUSE AKECHI HAS TICKETS HOW FUCKING DARE SOJIRO SUGGEST IT LIKE MY HEART ISN’T STILL ACHING????? God, speaking of that: The fucking god damn Featherman video game tore my heart out because I ended up playing it WHILE WORKING ON SHIDO’S PALACE and I cried a ton about Gray Pigeon because of course they had to dig the emotional knife in even deeper!! Just fuck me up, it’s fine, I’m just dying!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ended up scrolling through his texts to find the group chats that still had Akechi in them, and fuck, it was a LOT. Like. Maybe it’s because I’m too invested in the two of them, but it was probably the worst emotional whiplash of the whole game. Like, how am I supposed to go play happy with anyone while staring at texts from a reality built of lies? It wasn’t real but the proof lives on in his phone and his heart, and I’m still fucked up over it.

HOWEVER. FUCKING. I SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR BEING EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED ABOUT ALL THIS AND THEN DISCOVERED THE BASTARD STILL HAD ALL HIS EQUIPMENT, INCLUDING THE ULTIMATE MALE ARMOR!!! He returned his shit after Sae’s Palace even though he thought Akira was dead, but this time it didn’t get fucking returned to my inventory, so he must have fucking run off with all his shit!!!!!!! Why the hell did none of it get returned if he was never alive in the true reality? Like I know it'll be returned for a new game+ but I like to nitpick game mechanics for story reasons, because one of the things I love most about video games is the experience of them as another layer to the story. The texts from the third semester shouldn’t exist anymore, since they never really existed, but there they are. Akechi insisted that he has a gap in his memory after Shido’s Palace up until seeing Akira on Christmas Eve, but who can say that wasn’t related to Maruki tampering with reality or some other Persona-related reason?

I mean. I got the full and complete True Ending; I saw him in the train station. If that’s not Akechi, then who the fuck is it? Atlus made sure to put the work in to make him a part of not just the main story but also, especially, the third semester, and for what....to have his final time on screen be as the butt of the joke, squished underneath everyone in the Mona-copter? As much as it hurts, his end in Shido’s Palace matters; it fits his character and he gets to go out fighting- carving his own path, really. In Royal, barring the tiny glimpse of someone who’s probably him in the train station, the last we see of him is when he watches Joker let go of the rope to finish off Maruki. I know we got the heart to heart where Akira agrees to reject Maruki’s deal and Akechi insists that he’d rather be dead than live in a false reality, but.....no one even says goodbye to him. It’s tragic, it’s painfully lonely, but it doesn’t feel right for such a major character.

Also, as undignified as it is, for the first time ever, Akechi looks like he actually belongs in the Phantom Thieves in that final moment. He’s never been the butt of their jokes before; they always kept him at arms’ reach and he took himself too seriously to be included, but for that brief moment, it really felt like he was part of their group. He stopped lying about himself for their last month together, and so even if they don’t all like him, they can make that decision based on the truth, instead of layers of lies. His death is all the more tragic for this; a life cut short just when he’s finally finding a place he belongs. But his death was already painful; why make it so, so much worse?

Final thing: I’m gonna be spending a ton of time in the Thieves Den trying to find Akechi’s opinions on everything, but also....hey. HEY. What do those six stars that Jose (probably?) painted on the wall mean? Is it just a reference to Persona 6???? LIKE????? I HAVE QUESTIONS. SO, SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

Anyway, I’ve gotta go cry into my Starbucks and desperately try to focus on actually doing my job at work, but I loved Royal deeply and cannot wait to drown in it ;w;

[altarflame]

Let me give you this real country music breakdown.

Keeping in mind that 2019 involved lots of gut wrenching transition, including divorce and selling my home of 11 years (the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere). Moving away from the tropics, to a place where the ocean is usually too far and my plants can’t live outside through the winter. I had a kid move out and away, for the first time.   My oldest friend also died last August, after a scant 3 month long battle with cancer. It was a real plague upon my proverbial dog, wife, and pickup truck. And, of course, I’m living through a pandemic, and a long overdue but very emotional racial justice uprising, with the rest of you, now. Anyway. OTHER than those things, my 2020 has been like...My sister’s gradually, gut wrenchingly cut off all contact with me over the past couple of years, culminating in the last couple of months, whenst we no longer speaketh at all. I’ve fought hard for this to be different and it’s still very sharp. I don’t think I’ll ever give up hope, or stop making a fool of myself about it. A new friend I was starting to really care about hung herself in April. I’ve tried to be there for her husband and 5 year old daughter when and how I can, which is honestly not much. I’ve taken several people who were scared to go alone, to her grave.  I felt forced to break up with the person I thought was my soul mate, these past 3 years, and wanted to be with forever, and I have grieved it hard over the last couple of months. I’m still processing this. I’m gonna be processing this for awhile. My threshold for being anywhere near him without overwhelming sobbing is apparently approximately 45 seconds. In the beginning we were scrambled together, mixed in a celestial bowl and hand fluffed with a feather. And the tears of bliss were not amiss - it was a good day.  But the story nears the present time Of restlessness and wake up calls Wake up! Years have flown fast but then who's counting The wars have been won but there's few left standing between us And the shadows of Christmas past... Critically acclaimed but sadly underrated - Fortune definitely favored us, but no one celebrated. Our wits were splitting at their ends... We gazed upon the city lights We each laughed aloud one final time and agreed: This is one thing we'll miss... On his way out, he sabotaged my part time foster child’s mom’s tenuous, fragile relationship with me, so I no longer have the ability to connect with or help that child who he brought into my life. Who I love and wonder about and periodically hear horror stories about via mutual friends. I bent over backwards, I burned calories straining for that trust between the mom and myself.  

It’s so terrible sometimes. It hurts so bad. Jean-Paul. LAURA.   *MILLS*  . Coralye. FUCK. This post brought to you with plenty of hard crying, and no shortage of echoing painful music. I’m physically sick about this shit semi often.  I don’t normally let go of anybody, guys. But certainly not my fucking nearest and dearest.  I have a lot. I have SO MUCH. I know this. I feel good a lot of the time.  I have all 5 of my kids under this roof while the pandemic rages on, and they’re all healthy and beautiful and they all love me and talk with me. It’s mostly all cake these days with them, Elise telling me where she is in her own solitary reading for pleasure, Ananda cracking me up, Jake biking to the grocery store for treats to share, Aaron showing me something amazing in the yard, Isaac washing dishes and giving me weirdly helpful and totally unanticipated advice. They’re almost no work now, it’s all return on investment and I have tons of privacy and I use the fuck out of it.  I’m deeply in love with somebody these past 7 months. Being deeply in new love AND devastated-heartbroken about lost love at the same time is honestly dizzying, I spent a first destitute day thinking maybe I can’t do polyamory anymore, period. Maybe this is too fucking much and I’m gonna be alone and focus on my career and my goddamned plants. (<--not fucking really, obv I am not gonna let the pain win and go full hermit. Brief compelling temptation, though.) My career and my plants are great, btw, thanks for asking. I’ve got basically my dream job, it’s flexible and lackadaisical AND meaningful and challenging, it’s salaried with bonuses and hella benefits and amazing job security. It’s the whole thing, the culmination of 6 years in school and unpaid internships and volunteering. I even have a spare PRN position elsewhere that I mostly hang on to because it’s fun when they want me to come make $200 for a shift, to mix it up a little.  And I have solo projects, writing and web and mental health, all in the works, and they’re good.  I have seedlings sprouting. I have a yard that is pure magic, revealing new secrets each day.  I’ve got some of my oldest people, like Jess. I’ve got some exciting new people, like Jill.  The love, did I mention it? Holy shit. I’ve got Sterling, and that is a whole other story. That it’s been this good while things are this bad is pretty astounding. His own drama quotient has been off the charts, too. I almost can’t imagine how wonderful it would be if we weren’t constantly adrift in a sea of bullshit, though I also strongly suspect we both need a certain staggering minimum quota of bullshit. It’s no accident that we met mutually chasing along after the wake of the same madman’s chaos. We’re nursing some deep wounds in each other, waking up some old old hurts and soothing them back down smaller and smaller. Anytime we’re touching it’s either syrupy soma sweet, blazing inferno hot, or a staggering blend of the two - and then we pull apart to try to actually speak with whole brains, and inevitably take turns being baffled, just hilariously relieved, at how easy it is to communicate. We alternate coming at each other on tiptoe, braced, and then feeling confused and just.... amused? Skeptical? that the other is totally able to empathize with what was just said and is accepting it gently.  We don’t have a ton of objective stuff in common, on paper. We’re both very wordy and linguistic, we’re analyzers, we draw unusual people who will feel safe telling us insane things. We’re both hypersexual perverts, chronic pickers, we both wear too much black. It doesn’t go a lot further than that at a glance. We both have PTSD and ironclad outward facing coping skills, nostalgia for the Florida Keys, scientific skepticism mixed with some faith in magic.... we were both brilliant children who felt pretty isolated. But I haven’t ever really felt like anyone is loving me the way I love people, before. I’ve never even felt like anyone else received my love, the same way I intended it, or at least not all of it. It’s like the intensity of what I’m conveying and meaning when I kiss somebody’s cheek, I dunno man, he experiences it. The goofy flowing sense I have, of holding hands, he comments on it all the time. I’m not just like.... alone, in my overwhelm with being touched, or my enthusiasm for sensations, and that is honestly pretty new to me. Sterling is not tolerating my affection for my sake, and I’m still gradually adapting to that with periodic backsliding into hesitance, and unneeded apologies. It’s like we’re totally fluent in the precise same love language, so nothing gets lost, and the feedback loop is instantaneous.  He’s dark inside, but dark like Nine Inch Nail’s A Warm Place. Dark like the womb.  So as I was saying. I have so much. Including a candle that’s about Mills, and is burning behind me, giving me this slipping sense that I need to blow it out, I need to reserve it, it’s gonna be gone soon. This one spans so many feelings, it’s been positive, some new candle would be what, voodoo? Meddling? I don’t know. This one’s been in a drawer, with our ring buried in it (my dragon). What will I do with that ring? What will I do with all this love?  How can I contain so much, anyway? Why can’t anything ever replace anything else? It’s like infinite space, and the empty places just keep throbbing, and it’s like I sprout new spots for new fullness and the cavities pulse on.  I’m deeply grateful for a certain self-completeness I’ve come to understand that I have, and that not everyone does. I am resiliant A-motherfucking-F (<--meta vulgar!). AND YET. OW OW OW.  I’m sitting here trying to exposure therapy my way through my Mills playlist, as I write this, so Spotify can’t surprise me into sads anymore. I’ve gotten already to a place where sometimes i remember positive things purely positively, and laugh and tell a story and it’s ok. I’m bitter as all hell that I can’t even talk to my sister about this breakup, after she had so many stupid goddamned feelings about the relationship itself, about polyamory in general, about ever knowing him (which might have allowed her to help me grieve at all).  Sigh. I love the internet, maybe feel free to send me a message if you’re still reading, whoever the fuck you are <3

[damienthepious]

TELL US ABOUT ALL THE OCS!! ilandere, kalinda, callise, enna, lerato, raske, blacklight, clamor, bonny, vmni !!!

OKAY OMG THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BUT ALSO THIS IS GONNA BE THE LONGEST POST EVER SO IT’S GOOOOING UNDER A CUT

like . no capslock to show how srs i am this is the longest post ever fair warning

I AM THE LEAST CONCISE PERSON IN HISTORY dear mobile users I AM SORRY, also i spent so much time writing all these it’s a little ridiculous?? wow

Ilandere [my daughter my darling baby girl] [novel character - sci fi - sisterworlds!verse]

Full Name: Ilandere CirilaGender and Sexuality: she’s a gal and… errrr demisexual lesbian??? aro/ace with an exception???? she is in love with one woman and. that is kind of the end-all-be-all of her sexualityPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: Human, but non-earth human so it’s hard to say exact ethnicity? hold up i know i have a pic, and Set you (you wonderful person you) asked for a pic in another ask so… 

ignore the self-deprecation, pls, she’s got brown skin and freckles and long wavy hair and bright… bright teal eyes…

Birthplace and Birthdate: Er. non-earth again so. 17 Eshana moon, year 305 of the imperial calendar, which means nothing to nobody, and she was born in out in the suburban sprawl near Asmara cityGuilty Pleasures: fairy tales. she’s kind of a…. scientific prodigy, and ‘frivolous’ pursuits are kind of frowned upon in her culture, so she keeps her interest in fairy tales and mythology on the dl for the most partPhobias: well. ilandere, you see, works primarily on the theoretical physics of portals, so she has a fairly… deep seated, and very well informed… fear of portal fragging. like. being partway through a portal when it closes? being…. cut in pieces by a portal ceasing to be. that…. terrifies her, at the deepest level.What They Would Be Famous For: Oh well she’s kind of a mathematical genius? and she kind of is famous for that? she’s ‘one of the most promising scientific minds of her generation’What They Would Get Arrested For: um. not returning library books on time. is literally the ONLY THING i can think of.OC You Ship Them With: Kalinda :3OC Most Likely To Murder Them: holy shit. nobody in the fucking multiverse are you kidding. she is. the sweetest and kindest person. in those ‘should you fight’ memes she’s the fucking one who gets ‘yeah you can beat her but WHY WOuLD YOU WANT TO YOU MONSTER’Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn’t much watch movies or plays, she has a really hard time keeping focus on them and she tends to get distracted by ideas for her work halfway through. books tho! she is literally always reading! she loves to read math books straight up. lil nerd. she likes biographies too, and, seeeecretly, mythology & fairy tale booksLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Nerd Girl Gets Makeover And Suddenly Has Straight Hair And Doesn’t Need Her Glasses And Is Pretty Now Really And Suddenly Deserves The Boy!!!!! like ew she hates that shit as both a nerd and as someone who has less than zero interest in boys.Talents and/or Powers: Did I already say math genius? p sure yeah. Also. and this is something she doesn’t know anything about. Something that’s literally just meta knowledge that I know. She has a sort of…. aura of influence? She’s magnetic. She just attracts attention (positive or negative) naturally, wherever she goes, without meaning to or really trying.Why Someone Might Love Them: She is. Bubbly and enthusiastic, she is brilliant and bright and generous and chipper and she’s. my baby.Why Someone Might Hate Them: she…. can get really caught up in herself? she might forget about everything around her because of whatever she’s working on just then? She’s also not… particularly humble? she’s not a braggart but she also doesn’t know how to… downplay her skills for other people’s comfort? like, her attention grabbing aura will occasionally breed… jealousy and spite? but frankly it usually doesn’t last past actually getting to know her.How They Change: !!!!! I’ll tell you when i actually write the book!!!!!! no but really she is eventually supposed to learn how to live in the moment, to…. really see other people around her? to realize that the world around her isn’t some dream she’ll wake up from to start having a ‘real life’, if that makes sense? she has an all-encompassing goal for much of her story that she lets absolutely consume her, and she sort of… learns eventually… that that was something of a mistake, even though she does get what she wants in the end. She missed out on her friends and family while they were right there with her.Why You Love Them: real talk tho ilandere and kalinda together were some of my first Real, Serious OCs. they were…. between the two of them, they were me exploring my sexuality. they were me becoming okay with liking ladies. and they’ve both grown just. just sooooo much with me. ilandere -  i played her and kalinda in this big fun larp my now-bf was running, and they really helped me build my storytelling, build my acting. Ilandere was a soft, brainy kid stuck with a bunch of fighters, and she could still keep up and prove her value with her mind and her talents and her generosity of spirit, and i love her so. so so very much. She’s grown with me too- she helped me come to terms with my autism, and i realized that i had always played her- with that part of me? her odd speech patterns, her social skills that she worked so hard on but didn’t come easily to her, her stimming! she is just- i can’t emphasize enough how much she means to me, as a character, as an extension of myself.

Kalinda [novel character - fantasy- sisterworlds!verse]

Full Name: Kalinda Flint Beryl (look gemstone surnames are really common on her world it’s totally not weird)Gender and Sexuality: lesbian!Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: non-earth human again, i’ve been revamping her look lately so i don’t actually have a faceclaim or anything yet, but i think like, in earth terms she’d be southeast asian? maybe?Birthplace and Birthdate: urgh uh midsummer in the year 1105 AK (she is two years older than Ilandere, as far as that relativity nonsense goes, since they’re from…… different fucking planets), and she was born out in the countryside, in her mum’s cottageGuilty Pleasures: pretty much… everything? she doesn’t actually…. spend any intentional time on pleasure? she kind of deprives herself of anything that could distract her from her goals, at all. So like. enjoying a fucking sunset for two seconds would make her feel guilty and pissed off.Phobias: claustrophobia, and also certain specific types of magic? like the kind of…. ancient, deep magic that lives in the bones of the earth, that lives in the void between stars, that lives in the undercurrents of death. that kind of magic.What They Would Be Famous For: She’s a fairly skilled swordsmith, a fairly skilled mage, and a fairly skilled fighter all around, but she’s none of those things enough to be really…. famous for them?What They Would Get Arrested For: hahahaha i didn’t think about this when i wrote Ilandere’s but. straight up for stealing books. that has. actually happened.OC You Ship Them With: Ilandere!!!!! :DOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Hrm. She has a parental figure, her smithing mentor? who is pretty dang peeved off at Kalinda for the. like. the way she chose to live her life? but prooooobably only enough to. y’know. smack her around a bit in frustrated affection? yeah.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: magic…. tomes…. she hasn’t read for fun since childhood, alasLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she seriously Does Not CareTalents and/or Powers: She’s a spellsword, and her magic specialization is like, some weird combination of nature/flora magic and… void magic.Why Someone Might Love Them: she has a central core of tempered steel. she is strong and unwavering. and despite her insistence on prioritizing her own goals above all else, she will still stop to help others if she sees them in trouble (tho she might pretend to grumble about it). Why Someone Might Hate Them: she’s also kind of unapproachable, and could possible be seen as… like…. heartless? she’s very very good at acting like she doesn’t care about other people, provided they aren’t in immediate danger. and she just doesn’t have the fucking time of day for small talk or petty problems, and she’s spent so much time on her own that her social skills completely suckHow They Change: she keeps that steely incorruptible core, but she slowly, painfully learns to soften her edges. to actually value the cliche and stop to smell the roses. it’s not easy to transition into finally having what you spent your whole life wanting, but eventually… she learns to take comfort as it comes.Why You Love Them: All the reasons in the same section of Ilandere’s set, because these two babes area package deal with me. Also, because i am a spiteful creator and i am sick to death of ‘tuff gurl is straight 2 break stereotypes!’ and Kalinda is my short haired, sword slinging, hard-scrabble, tough-as-nails, lesbian baby. Kalinda helped me learn to be… unapologetic.

Callise [rp character]

Full Name: she… doesn’t have one? her actual designation is ‘Calypso’, but she does not know that.Gender and Sexuality: she’s bi, and she might, eventually, come to understand herself as nonbinary? but she doesn’t do a lot of introspection so for all intents & purposes she’s a woman.Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human/living portal storm??????Birthplace and Birthdate: in… a lab…. at some undisclosed time…. that no one knows anymore because that dimension….. is gone… holy shit why am i like thisGuilty Pleasures: ohhhh she does not believe in this concept at all. Callise is sort of a live-for-the-moment um. hedonist? look she suffers a LOT throughout her nonsense life so she isn’t gonna care about eating some fuckign cake or having some sex, ya dig?Phobias: enclosed spaces, being restrained, deserts, starving to deathWhat They Would Be Famous For: ????? being….. fucked the fuck up???? and feral?????????What They Would Get Arrested For: literally not giving an entire shit about the laws of any fucking world she’s onOC You Ship Them With: a glass of warm milk & a fucking good night’s sleepOC Most Likely To Murder Them: anyone… who is easily scared by teeth gnashing and snarling i suppose?Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn’t consume a LOT of media? and she typically can’t read the languages on the worlds she’s stuck on? but she fucking loves popcorn action movies and shitty comedies and just stuff that’s Fun she doesn’t have to think about at alllllll Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: …. evil scientists are a genuine trigger for herTalents and/or Powers: um. she’s. her physical form is irretrievably merged with a portal storm. like, a storm in spacetime that punches holes into various multiversal dimensions? she can sometimes control it? in little bits? but mostly it manifests as the storm completely… demolishing whatever world she’s in at that moment? usually it takes a few years after she comes to a place, but eventually the storm will ‘catch up’ to her, and the longer she’s been there the worse it will be, and then the storm will fuck up the world and…. kill her. and she will wake up on the next world. if she dies in another way, she’ll wake up in the next place anyway regardless. she really, really doesn’t understand it, not even to the point of knowing that she is the storm. she thinks the storm is chasing her.Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s…. uh… very honestly herself? she is 10000% in the moment and earnest about everything. she has no deception whatsoever within herself. Why Someone Might Hate Them: … she has no deception whatsoever within herself. she is indescribably blunt. she is… kind of animalistic and violent and doesn’t care about laws or social rules and she does things, sometimes, on the smallest fucking whim, including occasionally biting people??? and punching things and people for fun??? like she loves fighting people and sometimes it’s sort of foreplay too??? and breaking stuff just to break stuff? so… yeahHow They Change: oh Cal changes so much over the course of her long, long, looooooong life, and not always for the better? she kind of slips…. depending on how she’s treated on each world she portals to, she slips in and out of feral!Cal mode? if she’s chased and hunted, if she’s locked up, if she’s treated with violence, she’ll go wild. She, as a character, kind of reflects how she’s treated at any given time? Why You Love Them: she’s my monster child. i mean, she’s kind of a vent character? and because of her nature, i can slip her into any sort of narrative i feel like atm, which makes her a pretty fun rp character. if she dies, she dies! that particular narrative is donezo, oh well, but she gets to run off and have adventures somewhere else! it’s really fun

Enna [novel character - fantasy - elementals!verse]

Full Name: *rubs my horrible hands together* okay there is a reincarnation component to the is character so??? the first name she was given was Endellion Devlin, her title is Phoenix, and she’s had like eighteen other names including Aideen Lucero and Shea EdenGender and Sexuality: bisexual, and genderfluid between usually a woman and agender or male more occasionallyPronouns:depends what gender she’s feeling, so usually she/herEthnicity/Species: human/elemental, and bc of that reincarnation element her ethnicity changes from lifetime to lifetimeBirthplace and Birthdate: er. lots of different ones? again with the non-earth world. i’m quite predictable on that front. (i kind of hate/suck at writing plain old earth)Guilty Pleasures: hmm…. well…. she feels a bit… low-key guilty about… how much she enjoys fighting? like the physical act of fighting, she takes lot of joy in, and she feels weird about that because… obviously… fighting hurts peoplePhobias: confinement, death, drowningWhat They Would Be Famous For: leading a rebellion to overthrow a bigoted oppressive regime :3What They Would Get Arrested For: leading a rebellion to overthrow a bigoted oppressive regime :3OC You Ship Them With: Lerato, also, Sil TivanOC Most Likely To Murder Them: oh, pretty much anyone in the Creed (aforementioned bigotd oppressive regime), but mostly Raith. who kind of… has? actually? killed her. at least three times.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: sheeeee…. doesn’t actually read or consume media p much ever? she’s too action oriented. she doesn’t like stopping to watch/read things. but if she did…….. soppy romanceLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: ditto above response minus the endingTalents and/or Powers: mmm she’s a fire elemental, can produce and manipulate fire/heat, and kindasorta fly with it? also, elemental powers in this world present at puberty (yes kind of like x men thanx), and enna can sense whether or not a child is going to develop into an elemental later in lifeWhy Someone Might Love Them: she is pure fucking passion sculpted into human form. she’s the kind of person to dance barefoot outside in a thunderstorm, splashing in literally every puddle. plus she is just really very compassionate, protective, honest, funWhy Someone Might Hate Them: hmmmmmm because she is unapologetic about everything she does. she’s a fighter and she will fight you if you threaten the people she cares about, and she will not pull her punches. not at all.How They Change: during the novel i’m planning/writing, she starts off in an odd place emotionally, because she’s been… conditioned, sort of, to repress herself, and control herself, which is really really contrary to her nature, and she has to spend the first third of the story unlearning that training and becoming herself again, tho she’s feeling very burnt out about her… purpose… at that point? Then, something happens that fucks with her… worldview, and her sense of self, and she runs away, which is also pretty damn against her nature, or at least against the way she’s always lived her life, and then she spends some time learning how to slow down and enjoy things again, and remembering why it is that she fights in the first place, and who she fights for, and then… that ends really poorly too. the last part of the novel is her companion slowly slowly earning her trust back, and Enna coming back into her own as a leader and a fighter and as a whole person, finally, instead of just a symbol.Why You Love Them: Enna was created not long after Ilandere & Kalinda, meaning that she came pretty early in my creative growth, and so a lot of her meta character changes are really relevant to my life? she another bi baby of mine. also… i really like to hope that i would be as brave as her if i was in her position. she’s an ideal for me, and i aspire to be like her.

Lerato [novel character - fantasy - elementals!verse]

Full Name: Lerato SorchaGender and Sexuality: bi womanPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human/elementalBirthplace and Birthdate: i’m gonna leave this at a very very long fucking time ago in a place that burned to the groundGuilty Pleasures: look poor Lerato feels guilty about a lot of very legitimate things, but she doesn’t waste a lot of time berating herself for small pleasuresWhat They Would Be Famous For: Back In The Day, she’d be famous for the whole revolutionary leader thing that Enna takes over from her, but nowadays she really prefers to hang out in the background, on the sidelines, offering support and advice. she is TiredWhat They Would Get Arrested For: i mean. collusion with a known resistance leader, so.OC You Ship Them With: Ennaaaaaaaaaaaaa. she really really really loves Enna, just, so fucking much. for all the good it does either of them.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Raith holy shit, because Raith is a jealous horrible. um. monster. and yet again. has actually killed Lerato before. but only once. and also Gideon would, because of that whole being a leader in the Creed thing.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she likes poetry an awful lot.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: love triangles.Talents and/or Powers: she’s also an elemental, but substantially older than Enna, and her powers present a bit differently. she can teleport in a kind of hazy burst, can recover from damage by ‘fading’ out, and she can sense elementals at a distance (this sense is particularly attuned to Enna, actually, and one or two others)Why Someone Might Love Them: she is very sensitive and attentive to other people’s emotional states, and she is loyal to a fucking fault. if she thinks you are deserving, she will 100% fucking die for you. she’s also like… fierce and gentle at the same time? she makes me think of turtledoves and rainclouds and campfire smoke and i find her utterly loveableWhy Someone Might Hate Them: she never fucking says what she fucking means, and she keeps pretending that she doesn’t feel anything when she’s fucking dying inside because she fucking thinks that being self-sacrificing will somehow! fucking! help! anything!  also she has been known to… string people along, because she doesn’t want to hurt them, so she just… she’ll deliberately neglect to clarify her emotions because she’s afraid to make someone else feel bad about them. it’s not dishonesty… but it is p much cowardice.How They Change: Lerato learns that a) sacrificing yourself is not always the best fucking option, especially not when you haven’t consulted the person being protected, and b) you don’t get what you actually want if you don’t say what you actually want and c) …  that she deserves to be treated well, that she deserves and always did deserve better, that she didn’t deserve abuse and coercion, that she can be and should be happy.Why You Love Them: Well, Lerato started as kind of a… if Enna was who i wanted to be, then Lerato kind of formed from this nebulous fictional idea of a person i would want to fall in love with / want to fall in love with me? and thus tbh Lerato changed from a super cliche, jane austen/jane eyre mysterious romantic leading man who would do anything for Enna, and developed slowly into a woman with quite complex motivations and emotions who i still wouldn’t mind doing a smooch with. i am a mature content creator. fuck. so anyway, i love Lerato because… well… i kind of made her to be loved?

Raske [rp character - x files]

Full Name: Harriet Delilah RaskeGender and Sexuality: queer womanPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: she? doesn’t know? she’s adopted & her ethnicity’s never really been important to her. also she’s a rare Actual Earth Human from my character rolodex, wow weird.Birthplace and Birthdate: you’d think, considering that whole Actual Earth Human thing i’d have an answer for this? i know her bday is April 7th, but i can’t remember if the rp she’s from took place period to the original x files show or if the gm updated it to modern, and that changes the year sooooGuilty Pleasures: frankly? she kind of secretly enjoys making people feel uncomfortable about her prosthetic leg. if people get weird about it on their own? she makes a point to dial it up and just. low key fuck with them.What They Would Be Famous For: deadpan humor and avoiding her feeliesWhat They Would Get Arrested For: maybe kind of possibly breaking the law in pursuit of Truth That Is Probably Out There?OC You Ship Them With: proper mental heath careOC Most Likely To Murder Them: ~~~Mysterious G Men~~~Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn’t watch movies a lot. She used to really like medical drama tv shows, but now she spends her time listening to audiobooks, usually biographies or historical fictionLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she hates hates hates the ‘lone sniper’ myth in fictionTalents and/or Powers: she’s a tough cookie and an excellent shot with both a pistol and a rifleWhy Someone Might Love Them: you know how working hard for something makes it seem more worthwhile once you get there? it’s like that with Raske. if you pay enough attention you realize that she’s actually so fucking funny, it’s just that she always delivers her humor completely deadpan. she’s got a lot of subtlety to her in every emotion, so once you get to know her and you can see through her veneer, you realize she’s an awkward, funny, sensitive, endearing worrywart, who only pretends to be totally in control of herself.  and also she could totally throw you over her shoulder and carry you off into the sunset so there’s that angle also ;3Why Someone Might Hate Them: well, if you don’t manage to get through her crunchy exterior, then all you’re gonna wind up seeing is a stone faced gal who never fucking laughs and won’t give anyone the time of day for small talk. also she stole the last cup of coffee and didn’t put a new pot onHow They Change: she gets… way more paranoid…. and also she bonds with her fellow agents in a totally dweeby found-family wayWhy You Love Them: she’s really different from the sorts of characters i usually play rp-wise? i almost always trend towards really emotional characters, and talkative ones, and Raske is kind of the opposite of that? so she really let me stretch out my character building muscles, and she helped me work on more subtle acting. 

Blacklight [rp character - superhero!verse]

Full Name: Sabrina Aurore SeaverGender and Sexuality: aro bi gal (i’m realizing a trend, here)Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: mixed race black/Korean metahumanBirthplace and Birthdate: Boston, April 8th, 1989Guilty Pleasures: ehhhh when she was younger she used to be into some recreational drug use (nowadays she mostly just drinks, & she smokes occasionally too)What They Would Be Famous For: her awesomesauce freerunning skillzWhat They Would Get Arrested For: well, y’see, vigilante-ism is technically… actually… very illegalOC You Ship Them With: she hooks up with a lot of people and has a lot of fun with them, but she… doesn’t have… romantic feelies?? p much ever? her and Sharkie (who i s2g i will figure out a real name for eventually) kind of develop a really sweet queerplatonic relationship eventuallyOC Most Likely To Murder Them: mmm Clamor but mostly in a if you get yourself killed i will murder you sort of wayFavorite Movie/Book Genre: bad/good 80′s moviesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: helpless damsel needs rescuing by Big Strong MahnTalents and/or Powers: copied from her rp blog bio bc i’m a laaazy nb: Her range of vision is substantially better, spanning from ultraviolet to infrared (meaning that she can also ‘see’ heat, to a point). During the day, her body absorbs ultraviolet light and emanates heat without any conscious effort on her part, and at night it does the opposite, causing her body to effectively become a black-light (hence the name). The odd way her skin interacts with light and heat is responsible for her relatively pale complexion, since it makes her incapable of tanning properly, and it also means that she cannot be damaged by heat by itself, though fire, a chemical reaction, can still burn her just fine. She can manipulate and produce infrared, visible spectrum, and ultraviolet light as well, creating bright blinding flashes or heating flammable material until it combusts (though she cannot produce or manipulate fire itself).Why Someone Might Love Them: legitimate love for you, my dude. she’ll risk her idiot skin to save your life and then take you out dancing, she’ll smile like a bonfire and laugh like you’ve said the funniest thing she’s ever heard and she’ll mean it, really and truly. she’s easy to fall in love with because she treats every interaction and every person with attention and care. she is genuinely interested in what you have to say. she will make you feel important, and funny and special, and lmao then she’ll break your fucking heart because yes, she loves you, of course she loves you, she would die for you and she’d help you move, but not like that dude i’m sorry. she doesn’t love you like That.Why Someone Might Hate Them: that last bit, also she’s irreverent and reckless and a bit careless with herself and sometimes other people, because the idea that she could hurt other people’s feelings by putting herself in danger just. doesn’t occur to her? ever? and if you’re nasty to her she will turn into THE BIGGEST SHIT, she goes FULL BRAT MODE and she is. p unlikable when she aims that at yaHow They Change: she learns a) it’s okay that she doesn’t have feelings for people. she’s not broken. she doesn’t need to change herself for someone else. she doesn’t need to pretend. it’s okay. b) being a reckless idiot while in a costume and mask will Get You Shot, dummy. c) you can’t compartmentalize your whole life. things will start to bleed over before you expect them to and it will Not end wellWhy You Love Them: oh, baby blacklight. I came up with her for a larp my bro was running, his superhero verse is Really cool. She started as sort of a tropebreaker? she’s a superhero because she has powers and because she thought it would be FUN. she has literally no angst about her superpowers, she has a pretty cool home life, she isn’t hard up for money, her parents are BOTH ALIVE and she has a halfway decent relationship with them? and i fell in love with that idea hard. also she’s just developed into this really fun, happy, positive person with a good impact on the world, and she lets me live vicariously thru her extroverted party girl self

Clamor [rp character - superhero!verse]

Full Name: Kai “Kitty” MahoeGender and Sexuality: lesbianPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: hawaiian, metahumanBirthplace and Birthdate: June 2nd, 1991, Los AngelesGuilty Pleasures: lmao nahWhat They Would Be Famous For: for being the worst low-level villain and stealing the most petty shit ever in history, you already have like eight amps and more fucking sound equipment than any human could ever want, also you can do that with your fucking body already i hate youWhat They Would Get Arrested For: “”OC You Ship Them With: she’s… kind of in love with Blacklight? and it’s a bit fucked up…. she mostly plays it off as No One Fucks With My Hero But Me, but she’s saved Sabrina’s life at least three times and occasionally tries to make out with her under the pretense of near-death adrenalineOC Most Likely To Murder Them: …. Sharkie (god i need a NAME for them)Favorite Movie/Book Genre: period romance Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: the fucking wilhelm screamTalents and/or Powers: she can manipulate sound with her mind/body. she can amplify or muffle noises around her, and she can use a sort of rhythm… frequency… amplification thing to turn sound into a weapon. she can create sonic blasts easily or make someone temporarily deaf. she could do this with just any old noises, but she is fucking Extra and always uses instruments, particularly percussion and particularly drumsticks, tho she can play a bunch of different things. Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s actually p funny and clever and fun to hang out with as a civilian…….Why Someone Might Hate Them: … but her alter-ego is a complete fucking shithead, she’s a selfish dick and she Will Steal Everything You LoveHow They Change: tbh she’s still to early in development for me to know this quite yetWhy You Love Them: i love bratty irreverent characters sometimes

Bonny [novel character - sci fi - Star Stray]

Full Name: Bonny Read CalumniGender and Sexuality: bisexual nonbinary womanPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human Birthplace and Birthdate: she was born on a colony called Atlantis on the moon Europa, at some as-of-yet unspecified Future Year, November 14thGuilty Pleasures: she sneaks off to places she shouldn’t be on every single spaceship she’s been on. she loves finding secret places to hide, and she uses them like an earth kid would use a tree fort, to keep her little treasures and private stuff, and to hide from her momWhat They Would Be Famous For: well… acheiving First Contact with an alien species lmaoWhat They Would Get Arrested For: … nothing??? she is actually quite a sweet young woman, not exactly criminal material, unlike most of my oc children.OC You Ship Them With: her long distance friend/crush/ex, DalOC Most Likely To Murder Them: there are a few angry splinter factions that are veeery against the nasty alien creature that came from the sky, so probably them?Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she loves YA, specifically dystopian YALeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she hates the super smart child prodigy clicheTalents and/or Powers: she’s really good at taking things apart and fixing them, and she’s really great at figuring out how mechanical things work.Why Someone Might Love Them: she will fix the AC in your room and bring you snacks and listen to you vent about your day and give you a comisserating, rueful smile. when the conversation lulls, she’ll come out with an unexpected joke just to surprise you into laughing. she will dance ot any music. she will go to a museum full of stuff she doesn’t actually care much about or understand just to make silly jokes about everything there with you. look she’s just. dweeby but charming about it anyway.Why Someone Might Hate Them: her anger issues make her difficult to get along with sometimes? she tends to bottle her feelings and then eventually, inevitably explodesHow They Change: mmmm she stops hiding her desires to make other people happy, and she um. learns not to be an asshole to aliens for no reason? and to be fcking respectful of Vmna and their cultureWhy You Love Them: she a good space girl. lov her. sorry i’m so damn tired

Vmna [novel character - sci fi - Star Stray]

Full Name: [i fucking wrote their name wrong in the tag bc i’m ridiculous, and also i can’t remember ipa and their language is super weird so this is going to be unpronounceable]   k’ Vmna nksGender and Sexuality: Vmna’s people don’t actually have a concept of ‘gender’ that in any way parallels human gender, so they kind of don’t have sexuality either? like as a conceptPronouns: they/themEthnicity/Species: their species doesn’t really have a translatable name, but Bonny tends to call them ‘centaurs’Birthplace and Birthdate: [insert words that don’t fucking make sensewithout the context of the novel]Guilty Pleasures: What They Would Be Famous For: being the first of her species to actually speak with and make friends with an alien life formWhat They Would Get Arrested For: maybe for sneaking Fun contraband to the alien without permissionOC You Ship Them With: i believe that'll have to wait for the sequel novel! but she is totally gonna wind up falling for a human i betOC Most Likely To Murder Them: ditto Bonny’s answer, because they consider Vmna complicitFavorite Movie/Book Genre: there’s a specific genre on their world that’s p much just ‘comfort fiction’, like? just sound/image/smell/story combinations that are made to be pure comfort. they love those.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: lmao in fiction on their world has a cliche of all aliens looking like mis-colored versions of their own species but, like, with weird feet usuallyTalents and/or Powers: Vmna is very good at linguistics Why Someone Might Love Them: they are attentive and clever, and they’re ridiculously empatheticWhy Someone Might Hate Them: no good reason goddamn. Vmna is lovelyHow They Change: Vmna learns to appreciate Earth Music and Earth Idioms and Earth Humor, and they also grow to be more confident in their skills as a linguist  and a sociologistWhy You Love Them: Vmnaaaaaaaa is super cool and they’re also like, the Primo Example of me spitewriting? because their ENTIRE species exists because i’m hella bitter about shitty alien design in fiction? like i haaaaate miscolored Space Babe design? i hate boring anthropocentric alien design???? SO MUCH??? as someone once said (i think it was Dal?) (and i’m paraphrasing), CONVERGENT EVOLUTION WILL ONLY GET YOU SO FAR, there is NO REASON for alien design to be boring! Except for LACK OF IMAGINATION. SO! Vmna’s species are weird centaur/elephant folks who have big spike-claw feet and move vertically as easily as they move horizontally, and they have no gender and they communicate emotion partially thru scent/pheremones, and they see color different, and a bunch of other shit i’ve forgotten since i wrote the novel, and Vmna themself is just. The Epitome. of their species. in my head. and i love them

AND WITH THAT I THINK I’M DONE???? WOW THANK U SET THIS WAS FUN IF EXHAUSTING! and i hope this is even marginally interesting to someone besides meself