#this is technically my first time at a Real 4 Year College (tm) but

[theoriginofoghond]

First things first: the origins.

On the original version of my first fanfic I ever made, and why I decided to redo it 8 years later. So. Context. Pokemon Opal and Garnet (2016) is the first fanfiction I ever made. It's technically a crossover fanregion fic set in a region created by me with Pokemon created by me, but I use "crossover" extremely, extremely lightly. Technically, it was entirely new, but 5 of the main mons were named after (and of those 5, 4 were based in part on) characters from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is my all-time favorite Disney movie if not my favorite movie period. Given that it was my first ever fanfic, it is a mess. It is rough around the edges, and by god it shows. Among the many things in the first fanfic I ever wrote: HOND references like crazy, blatant Element of Harmony expies in the form of the 14 virtues (more on them later), a blatant Trump allegory, my first time writing a court scene, and a French anthem performance straight out of Casablanca. This was back in the Cringe Old Days (TM) of 2016 when the word "subtlety" was not in my writing vocabulary, when I did not know what "character arcs and development" were, and when I genuinely believed that fanfic sites would automatically send their copyright bots out to companies so that they could sue you out of your minds if you dared put non-public-domain song lyrics into your fic. After a while I stopped updating the fic out of boredom, writer's block, and distraction due to a bunch of other things entering my brain (oh hi, something called the "Dutch language"! Oh hi, fanmade musicals!). But the original fic still exists today and can be found. I plan to one day delete my fanfic.net account, though, and with it all the original stories, but you needn't worry-- the original Opal and Garnet can still be found on Lake Valor; all 20 chapters of it. After that, life went by. I joined We Are All Pokemon Trainers, where I met people who are numerous friends of mine, and, more importantly, learned how to actually create character arcs, developments, lore, and backstories. It was an incredible experience for me, and I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of it. I went to college and graduated; I had an extremely long period of health anxiety... and in my last year of college, in 2024, I decided to look over my first ever fanfic and figure out what worked and what didn't. Two things from the fanfic-- the PokeLatin language and Orwell the Newspeak-speaking Crawdaunt-- made their way into WAAPT, albeit the PokeLatin language became the Poipolian dialect of UBese and had tons of tweaks done to it. This was also the year after the Disney company celebrated their 100th anniversary. And given that, the fact that many HOND references were made in the original fic, and the fact that TV Tropes erroneously labeled it a crossover because of those references, I ended up deciding "screw it, I am leaning into the Disney angle and I am leaning into it hard". Cue the creation of the Gisnep company (I'm not kidding, that's actually what it's called) and by extension, the Gisnepverse, which consists of Opal and Garnet (2024) and the WAAPT continuums. (I retired from WAAPT and branched each of my characters off into their own seperate stories.) The next post I make will delve into the lore surrounding the Gisnep company and its differences from its real-world analogue.

[canadas-googlesearchhistory]

Canada’s Search History #78

How to handle college

again

[chaoshomeschooler]

1/26/2021

a personal note:

I did not get a n y studying done at all yesterday and I probably won’t get much done today. That’s bc my sleep schedule is insane right now - I was up til 4:30 cleaning my sewing room so I can finally start on commissions. For the record, it’s not my fault that it was a mess - my parents use it as a storage room so all their stuff was encroaching on mine.

 I’ve been sleeping when I should be studying because I have to go to my more intense job after this. I think I’ll be able to watch a lecture before I have to leave tho. Since I’m gonna be so tired all day I think I’ll be able to get to sleep as soon as I get home from work - then my sleep schedule will be normal and I’ll be able to do school all day tomorrow.

It’s kind of nice that I have like 5 followers rn so I can keep using this blog for whatever crap like this until I can actually figure out what I’m doing. I do actually have a studying tips post in the works so that’s exciting. I’ve been considering making it a youtube video but I’m not so sure about showing my face.

stu-dna challenge day 26:

what’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make?

Letting go. I can’t give a specific instance but I remember there’s been several times in my life when I’ve had to let go of something or of a person or a dream. Especially when I was younger and I was even more confused about my future - I would get it stuck in my head and heart that I wanted to do One Specific Thing as my career for the rest of my life - one of those dreams was being a composer. My mom kept telling me that I wouldn’t make any money and that it wouldn’t work out. I honestly didn’t have any natural talent for it but for some reason I was convinced that I was going to make it and like be the next Hans Zimmer or something.

I actually got the opportunity to try my hand at composing around that time. I was taking some kind of online masterclass in composing (I was in like 6th or 7th or 8th grade and this was designed for adults) (also I’m pretty sure the class was a scam) but my library had a recording studio - so I went in there, having done relatively minimal research on how to use the DAW and having no one to help me. But damn it I locked myself in that room for several hours a week until I had finally managed to kind of make something. If I remember correctly it was like 16 bars? or 8? I just know it wasn’t any longer than 3 minutes. That whole process was one of the hardest things I’ve done - partially because I was tiny and had no skills and no idea what I was doing but also because I was so. freaking. depressed. I think my grandfather who I was super close with had died earlier that year and I was in a really deep depression until November.

But yeah so basically once that whole process was done I was so drained and I had less than no hope - like my hope was in the negative if that’s possible. But I still wanted to be a composer so so badly even though what I had just went through was like the worst thing ever. I remember when I was going through the process of realizing I h a d to give up my dream even though it was the last thing I wanted to let go of.

Looking back on it like, I’m obviously not going to be great at My Future Career TM in 8th grade so I could have just tabled the idea and focused on the present. I think it worked out in the long run tho. I’m happy with my current creative abilities in other mediums. And if I ever want to indulge 8th grade Pineapple I can always go take a basic composing class and try again.

spell studies challenge day 2:

2. Tue. Jan 26: What classes are you taking this semester? 

Death and Dying

Technical writing

Trigonometry (I think I’ve been on trig for three years bc I always put math on the back burner. I can’t believe I actually have to finish it. I think I was supposed to be in calc by now)

Personal Finance

Them Bookz™ - idk what to call this but my mom assigns me a different self help/finance/networking book per month. so far I’ve read:

How to Win Friends and Influence People (9/10 - very good advice, pretty easy to understand and super interesting anecdotes. Would recommend to anyone no matter their age or career aspirations.)

Rich Dad Poor Dad (7.5/10 - pretty good but I read most of it all in one night so I don’t remember much of it and it was hard to summarize the main point/points - still has some good advice tho - just read it in a normal amount of time and during waking hours so you can actually understand. Also spoilers: he didn’t actually have two dads who refused to merge their finances despite being partners - the poor dad is his real dad and the rich dad is his friend’s dad)

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (3/10 - there’s a bit of good advice in the first three habits but don’t waste your time - just look up a summary online. I hate the author. Full post on this book here.)

I know this isn’t a course but all my college apps and scholarship essays take up as much time and effort as 2 or 3 courses so I would like to give myself credit for that

wow another apology:

This was excessively long. I have to figure out a new format

[forestwater87]

201X in Review: A journey of cringe and regrets

Realizing 2020 is really close and wanted to look back at the second (full) decade I’ve actually been alive for. I feel like either a huge amount of stuff has happened, or basically nothing’s happened, but there’s no middle ground.

2010: 

Cringy 2010 photo: High school prom (in middle, dark green dress and...a face)

Junior in high school. 

Had my first-ever Real Boyfriend(TM). (Pictured in above cringy photo.)

Had just ended an extremely toxic 12-year relationship and was still figuring out how to have friends. 

Chemistry fucking SUUUUUCKED and I don’t miss it.

Had a super intense love for Megamind. I saw it minimum of 4 times in theaters and had a major crush on that blue lil nerd. (Began a personal grudge against both Tangled and Despicable Me for taking away its deserved spotlight, a resentment I have not yet gotten past 10 years later.)

Most regrettable 2010 memory: Getting way too intense about a new boyfriend and lowkey abandoning my friends. Not cool.

Most awesome 2010 memory: I have friends from back then I still love and keep in touch with (despite my abandoning them for a bit there). That’s pretty dang awesome.

2011: 

Cringy 2011 photo: High school graduation with one of the most beautiful women in existence. (We’re still friends, and she’s still gorgeous.)

Graduated high school! (Gym fucking SUUUUUCKED and I don’t miss it.) 

Fell in love with the college that was supposed to be a “safety school” and didn’t apply anywhere else, which means I can brag about having been accepted into 100% of the colleges I applied to. 

Started at Ithaca College -- don’t say “it’s gorges,” it gets so old so fast -- and had a miserable first semester and an incredible second. 

Started getting . . . uncomfortably involved in religious groups. (I mean, I’d been doing that since I was a kid, but it got kicked up to 11 in college.)

Most regrettable 2011 memory: Dressed as a “g***y” for Halloween. Fucking yikes.

Most awesome 2011 memory: Figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.

2012: 

Cringy 2012 photo: Modeling first successfully completed knitting project. With bamboo needles because Ithaca is a hippie paradise.

Learned how to knit, entirely out of boredom in long lectures.

Technically started my tumblr experience, though it was only for a few months while I worked through some Shit by being in love with Loki from the Avengers (and THiddleston in general). Stayed on here just long enough to discover Achievement Hunter and Rooster Teeth, and never went back.

Broke up with first-ever Real Boyfriend(TM) and handled it so well I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder.

Got very deep in a religious group at IC, which was . . . not very healthy and could perhaps not inaccurately be described as “cultlike.” (I owe a major apology to everyone who knew me back then; I was very much a major bitch.)

Despite the previous two bullet points, this was the best year of my life up until that point. I lived next door to my two best friends in college, loved my major, and pretty much was confident that I had everything figured out.

Most regrettable 2012 memory: Writing a fan letter to Tom Hiddleston, which included a photo of me and my phone number. I was convinced my charm and wit would totally make him fall in love with me.

Most awesome 2012 memory: Pretty sure this is the year my love affair with RiffTrax began, too. I had a posse and we’d go see live shows together.

2013-2014:

Cringy 2013 photo: A blanket that I made and sent to Jennamarlbes for her dogs, because it was too small for people. Pretty sure it showed up in a video at one point.

Cringy 2014 photo: My awesome college roommates and I dressed up to give out candy to people’s dorms on Halloween. Reverse trick-or-treating: very fun, always recommended.

HA. So much for having anything figured out.

I don’t actually remember much of this period in my life, because I was navel-deep in a major religious crisis that would continue until . . . a couple months ago, basically? There was a lot of freaking out and trying to reconcile culty fundamentalism with the freewheeling pinko that lived deep inside and was trying to break free.

Lots of therapy, though. And med adjustments. Eventually figured out something that worked. Free campus counseling was the bomb though.

I do remember living in an apartment and cooking for myself for the first time, and also playing a lot of tabletop games with my roommates. (Also drinking. Lots of drinking.)

Oh shit, was this when I started that Drunk Librarian blog? I was trying really hard to be The Nostalgia Critic for books (ew), but I remember having a lot of fun with that. That was when my lifelong vendetta against John Green began.

Most regrettable 2013-2014 memory: Did I mention that the blanket I sent to Jenna included a letter? Did I mention that letter included some bible verses I thought she would appreciate????

Most awesome 2013-14 memory: Started a knitting club. It was just like 4 people hanging out and not knitting.

2015:

Cringy 2015 photo: Me being emaciated, makeup-smeared, and proudly showing off a collarbone piercing. That piercing has since rejected, but was in fact cute af.

Graduated college! Summa cum laude, bitches. (And an unfinished minor because I didn’t feel like taking the one (1) class I needed to graduate.)

Started library school and moved back home with parents. That was . . . an adjustment.

Changed library school “majors” halfway through my first year, after a lot of soul searching and panic attacks.

Had a short but catastrophic relationship with a man 9 years older than me (who was my pastor. Awkward). Religious crisis continued.

Got really skinny and hot because I was too miserable to eat. Dyed my hair red for the first time and looked basically like Ariel.

Discovered Party Hard and got really good at killing people.

Remembered how much I fucking love my parents’ dog:

Most regrettable 2015 memory: Being that person who “thought I could change him.”

Most awesome 2015 memory: Did you see how cute that dog is? His name is Oscar, after Oscar the Grouch.

2016:

Cringy 2016 photo: I had this huge thing for 1950s dresses for a while, complete with petticoats.

Grad school continued.

Religious crisis continued.

Therapy happens to deal with Things, is quickly dropped due to money and lack of shrink-chemistry.

Discovered a dumb little web cartoon with a teensy fanbase and no love for my favorite ship. Began work on a fanfic to correct this.

Finished a long-form fanfic for the first time in my entire life.

Virtually abandoned every other fandom to hyperfixate on this for the rest of my life.

Got super political, then super depressed. Quit Facebook because I realized I hate everyone I’m FB friends with.

Discovered Stardew Valley and never got anything done ever again.

Found Tumblr again (needed it to keep in touch with my first-ever beta reader, @raenbowsofficial) and turned into fandom and politics trash.

Most regrettable 2016 memory: Man, was I cocky about that Hillary Clinton winning the election. Oops.

Most awesome 2016 memory: I mean, CAMP CAMP. Obviously.

2017: 

Cringy 2017 photo: My first day of work as a very bisexual-in-denial librarian.

Finished grad school and became a certified librarian (in NYS anyway)!

Got a job at a local college, including my own office!

Shaved half my head!

Moved into my own apartment and adopted a cat, fulfilling a goal over 7 years in the making!

Became friends with two of the most important people I’ve ever met. Visited one of them on a semi-impromptu 9-hour drive to Virginia and met IRL for the first time. First ever all-night solo trip, one of the best days of my life.

This might’ve been the year I got the VFD eye tattooed on my ankle, though I can’t swear to that.

Was part of my first long-form tabletop RPG with friends from college (and friends-of-friends). Was very emotional and also quite gay.

Rediscovered Megamind thanks to excellent fanfiction. That shit is still great.

Currently the best year I’ve ever had. 

Most regrettable 2017 memory: I should’ve attended my graduation from library school instead of deciding it didn’t matter. It mattered a lot.

Most awesome 2017 memory: Seeing the-artist-formerly-known-as-ciphernetics in person.

2018:

Cringy 2018 photo: Um, apparently we don’t get one, because there’s an image limit to these posts. Lame.

Was laid off and took 6 months to find another full-time job. Spent most of that time depression-napping.

Said full-time job lasted 4 months before I ran like my shoes were on fire, because it was morally . . . suspicious and left me borderline suicidal.

Got very fat because I was too miserable to stop eating.

Had to cut my hair so I would look “professional.” Looked like my ex-boyfriend. My mom said I “looked like a Trump supporter.” To-date the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

Moved back in with my parents due to not-having-job-ness (got to bring the cat, though).

Lost parents’ health insurance and had to pay for my own. Discovered health insurance is ridiculously expensive.

Became super left-leaning thanks to the power of Tumblr and Youtube (and possibly that super expensive health insurance thing). 

Writing came to a virtual standstill, though I managed to organize and actually finish participating in all of Gwenvid Week (for the first time).

Two weeks after quitting the job from hell and three weeks after moving back in with the parents, I was offered my old position back. Accepted. Was once again a college librarian.

Most regrettable 2018 memory: Knowing I didn’t want the nightmare job and accepting it anyway. Might’ve been the only choice, but it caused a lot of unhappiness.

Most awesome 2018 memory: The day I was laid off, I hopped on a plane and went to fucking Disney World. Because why not?

2019:

Started work again. Finally (mostly) stopped having panic attacks about being fired/laid off out of the middle of nowhere around 8 months into new job.

Fewer paper cuts than expected.

Accidentally became associated with dinosaurs at work, despite not having any sort of special affinity for dinosaurs.

Did develop a deep and abiding affinity for octopus. Also elephants.

Took cat to doctor. Cat didn’t enjoy doctor. Cat is now 8 lbs. and 14 oz. She is big girl.

Rediscovered the joy of reading again. Newly discovered that mysteries actually can be pretty awesome, and read barely anything else all year. (Personal recommendations: The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton and Waisted by Randy Susan Meyers.)

So. Many. Youtube. Video. Essays.

Discovered Stardew Valley mods and eventually broke 3k hours of playtime. 

Napped frequently. Panicked less frequently. It’s a step in the right direction.

Most regrettable 2019 memory: This post sure is long and over-share-y, isn’t it? Didn’t even include a cut so you could more easily scroll past my face. Inconsiderate, is what that is.

Most awesome 2019 memory: This one is pretty good. Right now.

2020: 

??? 

Profit.